#do i want to do everything myself or is it bc i was not taken seriously for a long time

[mattodore]

i’ve been pretty quiet on here and avoiding my activity and dms these last few weeks because october was easily one of the worst months i’ve had in a very long time and i lost my family dog of seventeen years and had a medical scare for not only myself but my cat and just all these things happened at once that felt incredibly hard to bounce back from mentally… but aside from being sick atm things are starting to get better for me and my family so hopefully i can actually start being. normal. again soon 🧎

#river dipping #i don’t think i get personal on here very often just bc. the pd. um #but i figured i should say something bc my avoidant personality disorder is uhhhhhhhh #certainly Avoiding. #i’m so sorry if you’ve messaged me or @ed me or just tried interacting in any way #ik i wrote in my pinned navigation that yea i take breaks and avoid my activity and it’s nothing personal #but i still just wanted to reiterate it #i tend to keep notifications off for tumblr and my activity and everything like i only ever check when i’m mentally prepared for the State #my brain goes into when interacting with people #it’s not that i’m ignoring you!! my brain is just. very bad. #and i have a lot of trouble actually replying #especially in private messages #i’m much more comfortable talking publically which is why discord is so not for me 😭 #i really have been pushing myself out of my comfort zone a lot this past year and it’s certainly helped a ton #but still. it’s a disorder i’ve had my whole life so 🤷 it’s still sticking around ykwim #so i’m sorry 😔 but i’m also incredibly thankful toward everyone who’s taken the time to talk to me and interact with me and just thought of #me in general even when i’ve been so isolated recently #ummmm but on the bright side i moved out finally and am at a place that isn’t gonna poison my brain anymore so ‼️ #it took a few horrible days for my pets to get used to the house but things are fine now and i’ve set up my room and am :) doing better #surprisingly my panic disorder has been absent since the move… which is very weird for me #i fr think my previous place might actually have been poisoning me like i’m serious #……..i might delete this post in a bit if i start feeling too crazy abt being vulnerable lmao. um. #but for the people that’re online rn! my beloved friends and lovers yk #there’s my little update

[marioyuri]

Trying to buy a backwards compatible ps3 and its high time i commit suicide or get a job

#im so poor lately. and im trying to save for the inevitable switch 2 drop in 2025. too #im so. fucked #i am NOT selling anything i own ever again i want to kill myself judt thinking about all the games i sold as a kid and got taken advantage #I WAS 10 WHY DID MOM LET ME BARGAIN WITH A BIG CHAIN STORE #FUCKING HATE THESE PARENTS #whyd you tell him ur game was second hand 😡 GIRL IM 10 IM 10 IM FUCKING 10 AND I JUST WANTED THE NEW POKEMON GAME THAT WASNT WORTH IT !!!!!! #WHY DID THEY HAVE ME PLAYING ECONOMIST SINCE I WAS 7 NOW I HAVE ISSUES #always praising me for being the best at money but i had no fun ever #lately ive decided i can do whatever i want with my moneu #ive been buying so many plushies and useless waste of time pins and games i could just pirate #and im poor now. im poor. im so poor its suicidal #i should stop eating so much bruh SAVE SOEM KONEY #its like i wanted to give my youngerself everything i couldnt as a kid and now i beat myself up about it bc its such . a waste of money #idiot baka money #I HOPE THE SYSTEM COLAPSES #fuckkkk but the joys of owning physical copies. yay #I HAVE TO OWN THOSE METAL GEAR SOLID EDITION COPIES I SAW AT THE STOREEE #DUDE THE FUCKING HD COLLECTION #THE STUPID COLLECTION W THE BOOK AND EVERYTIHNG #I ALMOST GUT MYSELF #I HAVE TO OWN IT. I HAVE TO OWN IT. #i cant afford it #my birthday was in January and i wasted all of that money already #holy fuck im so suicidal #im such a waste of money #kilking myseld JOW #NOW #fufkffffffffff #hitting my own head ​STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID #my posts

[cilantrospirit]

idk why everyone worries about the IRS hunting them down when these stupid motherfuckers take several days to respond to anything. hello?? I'm trying to give you my money? the thing you want?

#as you can probably tell. I am tired of refreshing my email ON THE 15TH like this couldn't have been done with on saturday #hi yes I have residence in one state and another address in another state. this is very common among people I know #yes my employer pays me at the address I live at while doing this job. duh #yes my ID has the address of the state I live in 60-70% of the time on it. is this not also normal. I have so much paperwork. I am one guy #it's not even complicated I just don't want to have them mail something important to the wrong address bc girl!! #anyway not bringing my laptop to fly over the ocean was apparently a mistake and I should have given myself weeks to do something #that has historically taken 40 minutes. Sad! #obviously I'm being bitchy about this because I'm genuinely stressed and obviously the people fielding these issues are overworked #but none of that should be my fault #I feel like the world's Most Documented bitch sometimes and it makes everything worse and not better somehow #meanwhile if I were the roommate who paid Any utility bill besides garbage this would also be a nonissue. pro tip? #cilantro's life

[beautifel]

i. hate that i cant ignore any longer how fucked up i am

#ask 2 tag idk what to tag this but its negative. idk if i’m hormonal or whatever. it’s just that i’m so extremely emotional lately #like i always havebeen but it’s insane lately and i know some of the reasons but i have no idea what to do abt it. which is bad #i wish i knew how to confront …it all. im so avoidant it is genuinely pathetic #and even if i wanted to confront anything iwouldnt know how… n how to tell ppl around me #the pains ive taken to ignore my issues over the yrs n by that i mean suppress the knowledge that they even exist Lmao it is so pathetic #let alone the pains ive taken to hide from other ppl that which im suppressing. and to hide how badly i cope with anything #like any problem at all not just things that have anything to do with The Thing #i finally told my girlfriend about something i never thought id ever say out loud to anyone n it was so hard #the whole convo was so hard bc shes dealing with so much too and shes been getting help for 3 yrs n i know #with her baggage of trauma a relationship is one of the hardest things #n ive never ever regretted our relationship but with the things we are both dealing wtih. or rather not dealing with in my case #it is so . hard.. and i feel like ive been so unfair bc i havent been getting help even tho i need it. and she has. #the sheer irony of me refusing to get help or even admit 2 myself i need it even tho im literally about to be the person who helps others #this cannot go on lmao. the only thing im sure about is that i wanna spend my life with her but with everything tht we have on our plate #its so.. unsure i feel so powerless . i cannot change the past i cant change either of our previous experiences #its so unfair how we risk losing the best thing that ever happened bc of things out of our control #ive genuinely never been more scared of anything than i am of the idea of losing this relationship #we had such a deep conversation today and it was necessary and good but god we’re fucked up people #so i .contacted the uni psych today finally but im so fucking scared and idk what to even say when i get there #ive never until today said it out loud ive never even written it down anywhere

[friendlifyre]

i think ive finally hit that point where ive accepted that i need to Allow myself to enjoy genshin more casually otherwise it wont be long before i stop enjoying it altogether

#personal #its taken so long bc when i started the game i skipped through a lot of sidequests just to get the rewards/whatever they unlock #and later on i regretted it bc i was retroactively interested in lore and there was nothing left to do so wished id taken my time w those #and its rly that same reason i held off on doing a ton of content these past few months #telling myself i shouldnt do them until i had the time and attention span to rly absorb everything #but its rly time i let myself just go for it and enjoy what i Want to enjoy and not dwell too much on what i need to skip to achieve that #not just bc i dont think i'll ever go back to being as hyperfixated on genshin as ive been before (and therefore wont regret it) #but also because i dont really... want to #im at a slowly turning point in my life where i want to do other things with it too #and if i want to make room for those other things #i have to accept that i'll never again be one of those players who take the time to fully consume 100% of the content this game puts out #and thats Good #and i wish id realized sooner skgkslg #i rly have a bad tendency to put arbitrary restrictions on myself and forget why i put them there in the first place #like i played sm of totk with a 'no teleporting' rule bc i wanted to rly gove myself an excuse to explore #and it wasnt until recently that i realized id gotten to a point where it was taking away from my enjoyment more than adding to it #and so that it was ok to just discard that rule atp #i need to try being more conscious of that in general bc im realizing its hindering me in weird places irl too

[wiinterbunny]

💒🧸🎀🐇

#i've been so so scared and anxious and worried for the future for a while now #everything's changing #my mom is talking about moving (without me lol rip) #i have to become independent now #i fucking hate myself bc im almost 25!!!! and im still a pathetic loser who is dependent on her mom #but ofc i cant be #even if i've thought a lot abt myself and my personality disorders and i think this is just who i am #i need and want to be dependent on someone. to be taken care of and someone to make choices for me #but my mom just dont want to do that which i ofc get sksksk #and idk i dont have a dream. i cant imagine myself capable of any job #but i have two ideas of occupations i might be ok at #buuuuut i have no fkn idea how u get an apartment??? how do u get money? how do u do this and that #i know NOTHING abt being an adult or independent and im so fucking scared #dying seems so much easier and more tempting #i cant do.. cant do it to my mom #also it's sad bc recently a dream has formed in my mind #it's including another person tho. and i dont have any control over that. i cant force someone to choose or want me #so that dream is the least realistic of everything. even if this person really is my dream.... bit i cant count on it #and i have to build a live for myself. even if its not the life i really want #im scared im too dumb and childish and worthless to do so tho

[imsoogay]

.

#it’s taken me over a year to get over the girl who i thought i was going to marry #i made sure to have grieved and gotten over her completely #if i didn’t do this process then the next person i’m talking to / my partner would of had to deal with my old feelings #bc that’s not fair to them #i don’t even know if i’m ready for love yet i wanna put myself back out there #it’s scary #i’m afraid of rejection. i’m afraid of being cheated on. i’m afraid of someone falling out of love #i’m so afraid of everything bc i put in 110% into who i fall for and if i can’t get that back? i don’t want it #sigh

[orcelito]

Honestly hate how hard it is to start writing again when you've gone too long without it. Like for fuck's sake man Why's shit gotta be like this

#speculation nation #daydreaming of the early discacc days when i wrote 70k words in 3 weeks. those were the days... #im just... so tired and wrung out and everything is so fucking hard #im barely even Doing anything besides working. my apartment is in horrible shape rn. #what is it about grief that makes life so hard to live man. you lose a cornerstone to your life and suddenly everything is in shambles #and i know he wouldnt have wanted this for me. for me to be Barely functioning bc my brain has been so bad in response #im alive im going to work im feeding myself and showering every day #but i havent been doing the dishes i havent taken out the trash theres Stuff all over my floors and cat messes i havent cleaned #and i dont have the energy for any of it. i get home i eat and then i climb into bed. rinse and repeat. #im just... tired. im so very tired. #i keep wanting to turn to my hobbies to cope with things but it's so fucking hard to stick to #constantly oscillating between manic moods where i think i can finally start moving on (but i dont have the focus to do writing) #and depressive moods where Good Fuckin Luck doing anything besides laying in bed #if you couldnt tell im in the second boat right now. in bed as we speak. and so i shall remain until it's time to go to work #at least ive been going to the woods almost every chance i get. it hasnt given me the power to write but it's been good for me i think #get out of the apartment. experience nature. pick up a snail. you know how it goes. #i kinda feel bad for entering a fandom and trying to dig out a place for myself and Kind Of succeeding #i have a good handful of followers. people who wanna see more of my analysis and fanfic #but i havent posted anything significant in like a month bc i have belonged to the void. all month. #losing family will do that to a person i guess. doesnt stop me from being frustrated though. #negative/

[exopelagic]

yeah I have more to say

#I think priest was right when he said I wanted a lot and it’s more than I can have bc I’ve taken more than I can handle #I’ve been trying to say yes to things which is all well and good but I’ve been out every night this week between hockey and friends #this week has lasted six months #and at the same time Tuesday was a few hours ago #and at all times there is so much I’m not doing. #as always it’s partially an issue of wasted time bc ive been getting up late and struggling to work in my room #but I also still haven’t recovered from the cold mentally or physically and it put me so behind #which was now two weeks ago god #somehow only two weeks #.but also two fucking weeks that’s so long #and I’m still trying to be gentle w myself but that doesn’t work but i also know I’m being too harsh on myself all the time #I don’t know what to do with any of this #I think temporarily I might stop Doing Things and just have time for me to get myself back together and slow down a bit bc it’s way too much #I think I’m just really horribly overwhelmed by everything and it’s built up to a breaking point #so this weekend I’m not gonna go out and see anyone I’m gonna stay in or go to the library and finish my work #have a goddamn cup of tea before I go to bed #I need to go to the shop and cook at some point but that can be basics for now because as much as I’d like to do the pie thing #maybe leave it until I’m more together so I’m not worried abt Extra things. I think temporary goal is to minimise the number of things #I really want to cry and just have it out but I’m teetering on the like. wanting to cry feeling instead of pushing over #this is a jump but I’m so tired of prioritising everyone else’s feelings #I realised tonight when I’m playing I’m always holding myself back a little to let other people do shit #and it’s not even like I’m holding back bc I’m good. I’m just letting other people do stuff bc I think they deserve it more #and when we had Shit happen I took on talking everyone down and making sure they were all okay #and then that whole weekend after I was completely fucked I couldn’t Do Anything #even with ms main character I’ve been stroking her ego do she doesn’t blow up completely and fuck stuff up for Everyone #maybe. just maybe my feelings are also important and I’m allowed to have shit not be my problem like everyone else #I think I’m going to bed it’s 2:40 #I’m gonna try prioritise myself just a little tiny bit more #luke.txt

[mattodore]

okay so because previous anons asked about sex, I wanna ask about aftercare, how they act after sex? oh and i’m curious how their sex life change after being together for a while

xoxo <3

their aftercare isn't always aftercare-101, if i'm honest. theo is very bad at it and doesn't really... ever... do that for matthias. and matthias may be very good at giving aftercare but theo is incredibly resistant to it. i mentioned earlier that theo really gets off on praise, but... he also flinches away from it. he's so twisted up about so much of what he wants and he's really, uh... well. he makes it really hard to get close to him and offer comfort despite how much he desires it. matthias can't say certain things without scaring theo off (and i mean, like, theo will quite literally run away), so he has to talk around what he wants to say and what theo needs to hear to prevent theo from bolting before he can bring him down.

matthias takes a long time cleaning theo up and massaging his muscles after, and he'll hum or talk to himself in polish so theo knows he's still there touching him (but isn't stirred before he comes to himself on his own by english he can understand). when he's finished, he'll ask theo very simple yes or no questions that let matthias know how theo's feeling without outright asking how he's feeling. he also checks on theo throughout the day, but he has to be even more subtle there or theo starts to feel smothered. is your body okay? do you want me to get you dressed? does your head hurt? do you want me to read to you? he focuses on asking about the physical and what theo wants to do rather than theo’s emotions. matthias has learned that asking if theo's feeling okay after is a quick way to trigger a very, very negative response in theo. it's one of the reasons why i think matthias is constantly asking theo in the heat of sex how he's feeling, because that's when theo is so preoccupied by the physical aspect that the emotional effects leak out without him fighting to keep them in. it takes a few months for theo to get comfortable with the feelings he has after sex with him before matthias can really give him proper aftercare. that’s why the sex they have early on is never anything too crazy. matthias coaxes theo into a better place first.

​i also think it’s important to clarify that it’s not like they’re always having kinky sex. still, theo usually needs physical touch after vanilla sex as well. matthias himself always craves conversation afterwards, so he waits for theo to stir awake (because he often falls asleep after sex) or come back into his body fully to talk to him.

as for changes to their sex life after they’ve been together for awhile… i believe i've talked about this before, but their sexual dynamic turns on its head after a few years. theo starts to take control of the reins and gets more comfortable asking for and doing what he wants. with theo he just has a lot holding him back and it's only after he's grown as a person and worked past a majority of his intimacy issues that he can act on the desires he's been burying waaay down. there's a sort of brattiness that theo starts to have a lot of fun with during sex—a lot of pushing and prodding, withholding, insulting... matthias is having the time of his life lmao, like he loves being challenged and pushed around. matthias takes on a more submissive role during sex as they age, which is fun for him. plus it's kind of the dynamic they've always had outside of sex anyway. of course, there are never any set roles in their sexual life so i'm not saying that it's always like that, but theo enjoys telling matthias what to do and how to do it. they have a lot of fun with it.

#river dipping #asks #anonymous #oc extras #nsft #theodore doe #matthias evanoff #a burning house to live in #echthroi #finally done..... actually patting myself on the back for being able to answer all of these in a day and a half like #normally being asked anything abt my ocs takes me forever to get to bc i just take everything so seriously #......................................exhibit a: this reply jnjhkjfnghk #my ocs are just really complicated so i feel like i have to really expand upon each new bit of information #like theo is NOT ! well adjusted in the slightest #and while matthias can read people very easily it doesn't mean that there aren't times where he messes up #theo is very closed off and he will lash out at the slightest thing that spooks him #and he also... is not really experienced in having good sex yk? so he's so bad at aftercare which i guess is like. well. #good thing your partner is someone who's used to being left to his own devices after experiencing major physical and emotional stressors #matthias can usually take himself out of a scene just because of the nature of his past... #but i think theo does pick up on what matthias does for him after awhile and he tries incorporating it into 'aftercare' #but................. i don't think he really understands what all he should be saying and doing for a few years like not until he's #domming matthias more frequently and has taken the time to look at The Internet lmao jkfjnhkjn i imagine it shocks him a bit #matthias may be good at sex but he does have his blind spots and those normally involve himself… so he never told theo that what he does #for him should be reciprocated………… additionally matthias is very much a giver not a taker #like he doesn’t expect or even really want theo to ask how he’s feeling. but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t need that. #….have been rereading this for the last thirty minutes idk why this is what i’m like Yikes ! about responding to 😭 #whatever post ‼️ theo isn’t good at sex i’ve said it before who can be surprised he gives zero aftercare

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#everything needs to stop being so interesting. like bro i wanna focus on one thing at a time #but not its like everything constantly so im like trying to hype myself up to do photosynthesis stuff bc #its interesting and will b useful before i start my phd #but my brain is like: no. u want to draw and learn about the history of religion in the near east #someday someone will approach me wanting to convert me to their religion and they will not be prepared for my readiness to #jump into theological discussion. like if my dad dragged me to church now id probably go harass the pastor afterwards and b very critical #abt their presentation lmao. religion is just super interesting from an academic perspective #it is a bit weird tho bc now when i see ppl getting weird and gate keepy abt obscure religious stuff im like bro wtf #thats probably an aspect taken from other traditions of the time before the judeo christian god was consolidated as an idea #like theres so much lore and interpretation wtf r u talking abt? and then im like oh wait. i somehow forgot this is a religion and ppl #believe these stories as the word of god. which makes it even more interesting bc it makes academic discussion contentions #sigh. whatever. also shout out to the time i got into the truck for sampling. turned to my lab mate and went: hey i went in deep on the #jesus lore so im gonna rant at u for like an hour about unpacking jesus the man thr myth thr legend lmao #to b fair it was kinda his fault i started on this path bc hes like weird and judgmental abt ppl believing in religion and i was like hm i #dont like that. religion is interesting. i will not learn more bc u have annoyed me. bc that's how my brain works and here we r #last year evolution was my big thing and this year its near eastern religion lmao #unrelated #*i will lean more. not i will not learn more

[noxtivagus]

woah i. wrote a lot.

#to me friend ^^ yk the. that one. i ended up writing several paragraphs . I'M RLLY GLAD W MYSELF WAHHH 😭😭 #there's sm i don't know yet though but i managed to. say at least a lot of what i've been meaning to say for a long time #i think i managed it maturely !!!! i reached out i'm so happy. #i want the best for my friend. n. yeah there's so much communication lacking but for now i think she needs space for herself #hopefully. sometime when all four of us r free we can. be direct w each other? yeah. #i'm. actually. mostly proud of how i'm handling this. hdfkajsdkfl wish i cld do so much more but.. #yeah. this isn't enough. but i've taken a step at least. know i cld still do better but. #there's. rlly a lot i want to say. but. i think when we're all not quite as busy i'll try to yk. set a time where we can all talk #irl hopefully. hdjafsldf i rlly hope my words reached out to her tho :c #wish i cld still do more but i have my limits too n though i rlly try my best to be kind bcs i really mean it unconditionally #i have my boundaries. #i can't emphasize enough just how important it is to be able to do things for your own self so you can apply it to the rest of the world. #so.. i'll. say it outright here. i can't handle this on my own. all four of us have to put effort in it. #so. this seems a bit clearer at least. thankfully. aghhh i wrote a lot but i want to comfort her more directly too #i want to do. so much for each person in life i think i need to set more boundaries for myself or i'll get overwhelmed #n then it's not like every friendship has to have everything yk? but. #hdjaflsdfs no bcs for this. specifically rn. i care a lot for her she's one of my best friends after all n. for nearly 7 years #i know at least one of the things i rlly need in those sort of close friendships is. yk we can open up to each other n be honest #being honest at least. when it comes to venting i know i can just do that more on social media or. online friends #like when i say online friends btw 😭 i basically consider them irl friends n i value them very very much but #for the sake of. yk. we don't know each other irl irl so just difference in label. not the value n meaning it has for me. #so. yeah w ^^ we don't rlly share similar beliefs n views which is honestly pretty draining for me #so at the very least. hopefully sometime this/next month we can at least be direct abt that? to communicate so we can understand #i can understand ppl well enough like. uh. i'm good at piecing things tgther but there's so much gaps without direct communication #i can't guess all the time. but yk one thing abt myself that i'm. at least happy w is that. yk. i. can open up when needed #okay like it's hard when i have to do it directly to another person for my own sake but in this context w my friend. yes i can. 👍 #that said though oh dear other than this. friend stuff rn there's also more i'm worried abt bcs. school. assignments. yeah #which i'll be able to do but i'm still a bit. stressed. n then for prom 10 per table but we're only 9 n we're all stags 😭😭 #wanted at least to have my ^^ friend w me bcs. despite these stuff yk we're still friends :c but she's going w a partner yeah #n then there's more personal stuff too.. there's. a lot. too much to write. but i'll manage.

[slippery-minghus]

it just occurred to me to wonder... how much of how shitty i've felt this past week and a half is being compounded by having to fuck with my adderall dosing to tide me until i can see my doctor and get a refill.

i've been staggering taking a leftover xr one day, skipping a day, then taking a higher dose of the ir, and so on. it's enough that i'm not crashing but... my dopamine is probably all over the place right now. and i gotta say. talking shit to myself feels almost rewarding.

#i'm just so mad at myself for not somehow... doing more? as if i wasn't doing my fucking best??? #as if i literally didn't start packing before i even got a place?? #last week i felt so prepared and like i really had most of it done #but now that we're in the last 48hrs before the movers come i'm just.... it feels like nothing is even remotely ready #i look around and there's just so much that needs to get thrown in a box #if i push through and don't take any breaks or get any rest i can probably do it but.... i just dont want saturday to be frantic #and i'm really struggling with prioritizing how to use this little time i have left #bc i really wanna get over to the new place and give everything a wipe down/vacuum run before my stuff comes #it's probably gonna have to be early saturday... provided i can get everything done after work tomorrow #i kinda wish i had taken tomorrow off #but it's too late now #okay i'm going to force myself to eat now even though my brain is screaming at me for it #less so now that i wrote this (bc realizing it might be my meds and not *me* made me feel a teeny bit better) #and just... i think i really need to make peace with that what's gonna happen will happen #i'll do my best like i've been doing since i started packing #my best is fuvking garbage but it's all i've got to give #and it's gonna be as done as it can possibly get come 10am saturday #*sigh* #personal

[pisces-gf]

um . hi

#i know i haven’t been v active lately #i got a big girl desk/admin job about a month ago & it’s taken up all my time #& while there’re stressful times bc i’m still trying to learn everything #it feels good when i accomplish things & help ppl :—) #i’m proud of myself for pursuing this job after being chosen as a front runner by my GM #i was hesitant at first bc i’ve never had a real desk job before & i was intimidated by the work load #but i pushed myself to do it bc i know i would’ve regretted not taking it #it was a chance to start a new career path & even if i don’t stay here forever #it’s really good starting experience for office jobs! #this is all so corny but i just wanted to vent a lil about my accomplishments #& also so that my mutuals know that i’m still alive n thriving <3 #vent

[monstermoviedean]

.

#putting this in the tags because i do NOT want this to blow up #but good lord i just saw the phrase 'person of size' used as an example of a body type #and look. i am fat. it's taken me a looooooong time to get comfortable using that term for myself. I respect that not everyone is #comfortable with it and that many never will be. and i fully support however people want to identify #and also person of size makes me want to shake somebody #fatphobia is real and pervasive and oppressive #and also even an implicit comparison to racism makes me really uncomfortable. #like. that is not a one to one. people are really shitty to fat people but fat people were not forcibly enslaved and brutalized bc of size #not everything has to use parallel language. i would not be okay with fat lives matter either! blm must be supported in standing on its own! #the stunning thing is that this term was used in an equity training that is explicitly race-centered and deeply conscious of language so. #my brain is all pretzeled. #oh and after all that there isn't even a category for size in this worksheet so if i wanted to identify as fat i'd have to put it in the #ability category which feels gross and uncomfortable to me #again full respect to people and how they identify but i personally would not classify my fatness as a disability. maybe just me though. #also adding that if anyone has thoughts they'd like to share i'm down to talk!