#do love me some patton working to be better

[elliehase-blog]

The Valentine's Surprise

It’s just a random day in February and Roman bursts through the door, bringing a blast of cold air from outside into Virgil’s room.

“We have a problem!”

“Hm,” Virgil replies without looking up from his book.

“It’s an emergency,” Roman says more emphatically.

Virgil lifts an eyebrow slightly. “Is the house on fire? Should I run for my life?”

“Much worse.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Roman unceremoniously flop down on the armchair next to him, burying his face in his arms.

“We have no date for Valentine’s Day,” he says in a tone of voice in which other people say, ‘I only have six months to live’. “Why do I think of this so late every year? Why? Why is Valentine’s Day always so sudden?”

Virgil smirks behind the pages. “Yes, it’s hard to believe that they put it so spontaneously and completely arbitrarily on February the 14th again. Is it no longer possible to rely on anything in life?”

Roman fishes for a pillow and throws it in Virgil’s direction. “Not funny, Mister Sarcasm!”

It becomes more than clear that Roman, with all his pre-Valentine’s heartbreak, isn’t going anywhere else. Virgil struggles with himself for a moment before finally putting the book aside and turning to Roman.

“Why are you bothering me with this anyway? Patton seems to me the right side to contact for your problem.”

Roman sighs deeply and tragically. “No, it has to be you,” he confesses and comes finally to the point. “You’re the one who can push this problem into focus.”

‘Ah’ thinks Virgil, only mildly surprised. No one ever comes to him for advice. Especially not Roman.

“Listen, Princey, weren’t we all agreeing on not psyching ourself out over some day and instead celebrating love in all its forms?”

He knew that the topic would come up again, no matter how well Roman coped with the whole thing on the outside. You don’t have to be a genius to realize that his thoughts still revolve around Nico Flores and the unclear relationship.

“Ugh.” Roman sighs again. “It’s just…,” he starts to explain and his voice sounds husky, as if he had a cold. “I’m Thomas’s romantic side and I should do something, right? Valentine’s Day makes me sentimental, and I want to throw around grand gestures, but… What’s the point of embracing love if you never get anything back?”

That was too much of an exaggeration, even by Roman’s standards. Virgil would like to make a sarcastic remark again, but he can’t. Not when Roman looks like that, so worked up and hurt. It always causes a strange tug in his chest that he can’t quite explain.

“Wow, that’s a gloomy way of seeing it.” Virgil swings his legs over the edge of the couch and stands up. “Come on, you stayed already for too long in my room. Breathe, okay?”

Roman allows Virgil to grab him by the arm and carefully escort him out of this dark corner of the mind.

“Better?”

“Better,” Roman agrees, but still sounding a little helpless.

It’s unbearable.

“Okay, you know what, let me show you something.”

Almost energetically, Virgil manoeuvres them in the direction of the stairs. It’s kind of surprising how little defensive Roman is about all of it. Usually, he is protesting and whining a lot more. For now, he just raises his arms in a questioning manner.

“Virge, what-” he stops abruptly. Roman has the widened, panicked gaze of a deer on the highway that suddenly and abruptly finds itself in the middle of the headlights of an approaching truck.

“Oh my goodness! Are you kidding me?! What’s… Why…?”

Virgil bites his lower lip, amused. “My pet spider wanted a friend, and you’re always into battling monsters, so…”

“No, no, no… No!”

“Isn’t this what you wanted? Unconditional, requited love.”

Roman looks at Virgil, then at the spider and his tiny self, and finally back to Virgil again.

“You’re unbelievable.”

Virgil crosses his arms over his chest and shrugs. To be honest, he’s just a little smug about it. You can’t choose where Cupid’s arrow will land.

“What can I say, you make my spider feel special and awesome.”

The corners of Roman’s mouth twitch. It looks like a smile he’s suppressing. “I will tolerate this nonsense,” he says benevolently. “But it’s not at all solving my problem.”

Virgil should walk away now, leaving Roman behind with nothing but his self-doubts and fears. That’s at least what the old anxiety would do. Damn it, he is not the one who is usually comforting people! But then again… it’s all about family, right? At least, that’s what Patton would say.

“I can’t believe that I have to point it out.” Virgil sighs and feels a little uncomfortable all of a sudden. “Love always comes around for us when we least expect it. You don’t have to force anything, Roman. Accept and acknowledge what you already have. There’s a lot of affection in different ways and forms around you. You’re just not seeing it clear.”

It’s strange to have said it out loud after it’s been rumbling in his stomach like an ulcer. Strange and relieving at the same time.

Virgil clears his throat. Anyway, it’s not that he meant anyone specific. What matters is, that Roman’s face suddenly lights up with a warm, knowing smile. It makes Virgil feel a whole lot better too.

"I knew I could count on you," says Roman softly, and no one is commenting it.

💜❤️💜❤️💜❤️💜❤️💜❤️💜❤️💜❤️💜❤️

I hope you enjoyed the small (not beta-read) story. I apologize in advance for any grammar or spelling mistakes my german brain wasn't seeing.

#sanders sides #sander sides fanart #sander sides fanfic #prinxiety #roman sanders #virgil sanders #valentines day

[pureleafpeachtea]

Im gonna say something about sanders sides.

Because here's the thing. I love sanders sides. I grew up alongside it, i introduced friends to it. But im so, so tired.

Its been what, 3 years since we got an episode? And im not counting the ads, or the most recent aside. 3 years since we got actual content continuing the main storyline.

Its so frustrating. Thomas tells us nothing. No idea what hes working on, no timelines to expect, nothing. We're working with crumbs here.

He keeps putting out ads and i used to be excited about them, because who doesnt love merch for your favourite show? Especially a niche one. Official merch, supporting the creator you love, etc. All great things. But when hes posting ads but no actual content, it becomes less exciting and more... sketchy. Like. I dont like the idea of continuing to sell merch for a show that you havent made in years. It feels cheap.

I have a lot of more articulate thoughts that i will eventually articulate but at this point its just frustration. The show was good, it was really good! It had its flaws but overall its a good show. Loveable characters. Compelling plotlines. At this point i dont think we'll ever see the resolution of romans plot.

I thought they were finally gonna address it, it felt like they were building to it, but then they switched to pattons control issues, logans anger issues, virgils (for lack of a better word) anxiety. And while i like those plotlines, it feels like he got swept to the side, a bit. And Roman was never my favourite character but seeing the way hes treated in the show makes me kinda sad. Like theres so much potential. And if the season finale resolves the orange side and logans anger issues and virgils stuff and then after that we can focus on roman a bit? Then great. But when will that be? 2030?

I loved sanders sides. I still do. But the humour is getting dated, and my goodwill is running out. I dont watch any other thomas sanders content. I dont really care about it, tbh. And im getting tired of waiting for another episode of the sides.

I just wish he would say something. Give us some sort of information about whats going on and what to expect instead of serving us ads and filler and in-character livestreams

Idk. Im just so tired. This story and the fandom deserves better

#not trying to start an argument or anything #i understand that some people still have faith in thomas #and while i dont get how #im happy for you #i would love to just be able to enjoy the show #but everything around it is too frustrating #and also the new asides wasnt very good #which worries me about the quality of the finale #thomas is an incredible actor. i used to listen to the episodes on my old mp3 and i could pick out each character by voice #but i dont know how much of the writing has been him and how much has been joan #and i worry that now that joans gone the quality will take a dip #i guess we'll see #but i just worry. i really didnt like the new asides #ts criticism

[actuallymarzzz]

My theory on the orange side: HE'S NOT LOGAN'S OPPOSITE?

WOW PLOT TWIST I KNOW

so basically I was watching through sanders sides the other day (as you do) and I was making a couple of theories on the orange side, yk average TSS enjoyer activities, WHEN SUDDENLY I WAS STRUCK WITH SOMETHING GLORIOUS

THE SVS REDUX

This is the first hints we see about the orange side (see from the cover screen showing a 7th side and the famous 01134 on the street fighter game sequence) BUT HAVE WE EVER STOPPED TO CONSIDER WHAT ELSE IS IN THIS EPISODE?

At 40:06 of the SVS redux, there is a MUSIC CHANGE (to a track that in my personal opinion sound WAY too funky to be "just for instrumental") and furthermore, Roman says at 40:12, "how long must we act selfishly until Thomas is ready to start putting more... good into the world?". Janus then responds, "A good question, for another time."

Now one might take that as Janus avoiding the question, but I think its strange that it is ONLY IN THIS PART OF THE VIDEO THAT THIS MUSIC PLAYS, when they are talking about being TOO selfish, to the embodiment of LIES. So what does it mean? I believe it symbolises Thomas lying to himself about the existence of the orange side.

SO THE QUESTION YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR THE ANSWER TO - WHO THE FRICKLE FRACK IS THE ORANGE SIDE? In my opinion, I believe it is Narcisissm. Or at least, that's what Thomas VIEWS it to be.

LET ME EXPLAIN-

The first time orange appears in the series is in the episode about SELFISHNESS, and how it shouldn't be mistaken for self care. This is extremely similar to how society treats self-love as a narcisisstic, hence why Thomas would believe this is what the orange side represents.

Now let's look at my favourite thing: COLOURS. WHAT DO THEY MEAN? • Red - This colour mainly represents Passion and Courage (like Roman, the passion is for creativity and the courage is the whole "ill always be your hero" thing) • Yellow - Many people respond to this colour in different ways, some find it cheery, others find it grating (Much like many people have different views on lying and Deceit) • Green - it is sometimes associated with sickness, and too much of it can evoke isolation (much like how intrusive thoughts make people feel sick and that they are alone with these thoughts) • Blue - light shades of blue often represent confidence, peace, honesty and reliability (literally aligning with Patton's existence in a whole) • Indigo - This colour can be seen as knowledgeable, representing integrity and intuition (Do I even have to say anymore, it literally is knowledge, aka Logan) • Purple - Shades of this colour have been used in the care of mental of nervous disorders (Maybe this is why Virgil started wearing purple, to symbolise thomas's better management of his anxiety?)

And now, what about orange? One of the negative connotations of this colour is self-indulgence, which is characterized by doing or tending to do exactly what one wants (much like BEING SELFISH). This would explain the appearance of the orange side in the SVS redux.

"But what about the colour wheel? WHAT IS ORANGE THE OPPOSITE OF?" Before I continue, I'm leaving virgil out of this because thats a whole other can of worms I DONT WANT TO DIVE INTO TODAY, BUT LEMME EXPLAIN

Red and Green are opposites, much like Remus and Roman. They represent both sides of Thomas' creativity - dark and light - so it makes sense.

Heres where things get tricky. LEAVING VIRGIL OUT OF THIS (bcus he's more of a... neutral side I guess? I feel like he doesn't really have a clear opposite anyways) The colour closest to this is actually yellow. This kinda makes sense, as Logan is based on truths while Janus is based on lies.

SO THAT LEAVES PATTON, THE EMBODIMENT OF MORALITY AND SELFLESSNESS. AND THE ORANGE SIDE, WHO I'VE JUST THEORISED TO BE A FIGURE REPRESENTING NARCISISSM AND SELFISHNESS, much like the entire plot of the svs redux.

You might be thinking, "BUT WORKING THROUGH INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS !!! LOGAN WAS ORANGE !!! HOW DOES THAT WORK????" That's because Logan had a selfish goal behind Thomas's schedule, which was being listened to for once. Many people who have narcisisstic tendancies tend to crave attention, much like logan. This part where the "orange side took over" wasn't the orange side himself, it was a representation of Logan's need to be listened to.

Am I saying Thomas Sanders is a narcisisst? No, not in the slightest. Earlier I said that this is how Thomas percieves the orange side, because they're HIS SIDES. He views his self love and desire to be listened to as narcisissm because that's what he's been brought up to believe. It can even be reflected through Patton's behaviour in the SVS redux.

Again, this is JUST A THEORY. I'm not saying any of this is fact. Also special note for these guys:

Colour theory experts (I can't art so my colour wheel analogy is probably so off

People who have NPD/actually know more about it (I want to clarify that this is how I think Thomas PERCIEVES the orange side, not what it is. I'm not diagnosing)

Virgil lovers (HE DOESNT MAKE SENSE IM SO SORRY)

PEOPLE WHO KNOW THE SERIES BETTER THAN ME (Yes I know that the line seperating "opposite sides" is a little blurry)

Thank you and goodnight (you should totally repost this)

#thomas sanders #sanders sides #virgil sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #sanders sides theory #logan is really hot #logan sanders hmu #prinxiety #intrulogical

[trashyswitch]

The Search For The Missing Laugh

A special person by the alias ‘Anne Onymous’ has sent me this fanfic to be submitted! And I think today is a better time than any. This is Anne’s fanfic, and I hope you all enjoy. :D

A special person by the alias ‘Anne Onymous’ has sent me this fanfic to be submitted! And I think today is a better time than any. This is Anne’s fanfic, and I hope you all enjoy. :D Give this person some love!!

Patton had been telling dad joke after dad joke since breakfast. While Roman and even Virgil gladly laughed at his witty wordplay, Logan hadn’t even cracked a smile. Still, that didn’t stop Patton from telling all the jokes he had left in him after Roman and Virgil went to help Thomas with something. “Why were the elephants late for their vacation?” Patton asked. Logan merely sighed in response. “Because they forgot to pack their trunks!” Patton exclaimed before laughing at his own joke. Logan groaned, wishing Patton would just stop. “Aw, come on, Logan. That was funny!” Patton chirped. “Perhaps to you, but not me.” Logan said. “Probably because you have no sense of humour.” Patton grumbled, crossing his arms. “I’ll have you know that I do have a sense of humour, I just don’t find your jokes funny.” Logan informed. Patton pouted. Logan never laughs at his jokes. He never laughs, period. He just wanted to make his friend laugh, but how? Then it struck him. There’s one thing that makes Thomas and the others laugh. It was risky, it may not even work, but it would be worth it if he could pull it off. “Oh dear. I think I see what the problem is.” Patton said. “You need to get better at comedy?” Logan suggested sarcastically. “No. You lost your laugh.” Patton said. 

Logan did a double take to ensure he heard Patton right. “Lost…my…laugh.” Logan echoed. “Yes. But don’t worry, Logan. I consider myself a Hufflepuff and Hufflepuffs are good finders. Not to brag, but I have quite the skill of finding laughs and getting them out in the open, so I’ll help you find it.” Patton rambled, pulling Logan into a cuddle and grabbing his wrists to raise them above his head. “Patton, what are you…?” Logan protested but was silenced when Patton gave him a look that filled him with…excitement? Unease? He wasn’t sure, but he stayed quiet and kept his arms up. “Now, the trick is to look for hiding spots on your body. You see, sometimes instead of coming out of our mouths, laughs like to hide in other body parts or just get stuck there. Like the armpits for example, they fit pretty snug in there.” Patton said, poking and prodding the mentioned spot. Logan’s mouth curled into a grin as he tried his best not to laugh. “Excuse me, Logan’s armpits. Have you seen Logan’s laugh today?” Patton asked, as if this was a normal situation. Logan almost snickered at Patton’s silly behaviour. Him talking to his body parts as if they could talk back was so ridiculous, it was almost worse than the tickling. 

“Hmm, guess they don’t know. Maybe your ribs know. The ribs are a really good spot since there’s so many rib bones to fit between.” Patton narrated, spidering his fingers up and down the logical Side’s ribcage. Logan was now biting down on his lips in hopes that if he doesn’t laugh then Patton will give up and leave, but the fact he was practically narrating everything and doing something as silly as trying to have a conversation with his body parts wasn’t helping. Not to mention he’s never been tickled before, so he wasn’t used to it and had more difficulty fighting it off. “Hi there, Logan’s ribs. Logan lost his laugh, do you know where it’s hiding?” Patton inquired, gently scratching between each rib. He was disappointed by the silence, certain that Logan would’ve cracked by now. But he wasn’t giving up. “Guess my guessing skills are a little off today. Better keep trying. You know, the toes are a pretty good hiding spot too. Laughs can hide under or between them.” Patton said as he released Logan from their cuddle and moved down to his feet. Patton wasn’t sure if Logan was taking a break and getting his strength back, or forgot he could simply leave because he didn’t protest or make a run for it as he put his ankles in a headlock and removed his socks. 

“Pardon me, Logan’s toes. Are you hiding Logan’s laugh by any chance?” Patton asked, wiggling his fingers under the sensitive digits. Finally, the dam burst and Logan broke into a fit of surprised laughter. “HAHAHAhahaha! Nohohoho! Pahahattohohon! Hahahahahahaha!” Logan squealed, wiggling and fruitlessly attempting to pull his feet back. “Yay! You got your laugh back! But it doesn’t sound like it’s coming from your toes, it sounds like it’s coming from somewhere else. Oh well, guess we gotta keep looking!” Patton exclaimed. Logan was so embarrassed. After seeing him in this state, Patton will never take him seriously again. Oh well, that’s a future problem. For now, he hasn’t laughed like this in a long time, might as well try to enjoy it. “Another great place for a laugh to hide in is in the bellybutton.” Patton said as he moved his tickly hands up the back of Logan’s knees then across his thighs and over his hips until he reached his belly, enjoying every snicker and giggle that came out of Logan along the way. “How do you do, Logan’s bellybutton? Were you the one hiding his laugh the whole time?” Patton asked as he straddled Logan’s thighs, moved his shirt up and began circling his finger around the mentioned spot. Logan couldn’t help but let a few nervous giggles slip out as he squirmed in anticipation, never feeling so flustered in his life. Boy, was that statement about to be made wrong.

“Round and round the garden, like a teddy bear…” Patton sang, holding back snickers of his own when Logan covered his mouth to muffle his embarrassed squeal. “One step…two step…” Patton continued, walking his fingers closer to the naval before noticing Logan’s hands shot under his glasses to cover his eyes. Using his free hand, Patton gently removed Logan’s glasses and placed them on the coffee table. He didn’t want them to get broken during their fun. “There. Now, where was I? Oh yeah. A tickly under there!” Patton exclaimed, wiggling the digit in the bellybutton. “GAHAHAHAHAHA! PAHAHATTOHOHON, WHYHYHYHY?! HAHAHAHAHA!” Logan bellowed, thrashing around and pounding his fists on the couch. “Yup, this is definitely where all your laughs were hiding. Better make sure we get them all out so this doesn’t happen again. Good thing that song usually lures them out.” Patton commented, not that Logan could hear him over his own loud boisterous laughter. He couldn’t focus on anything other than the unbearably ticklish sensations in his navel, astounded that something as simple as a wiggling finger there could make him laugh this much. It was…exhilarating. And exhausting. Thankfully, Patton finally stopped. But he wasn’t done yet, not by a long shot. 

“I think we’re making some real good progress. Your laughs are coming out just fine, but there’s still a few stubborn ones still stuck. Good news is, sometimes they come out of hiding for a good joke. Knock knock!” Patton said. After catching his breath, Logan decided to indulge Patton against his better judgement. “Who’s there?” Logan asked. “Me, the dad joke king, here to tickle his way into your heart! Tickle tickle tickle! Cootchie cootchie coo!” Patton replied, tickling nearly every and any tickle spot on Logan his hands could reach. His ribs, his armpits, his tummy, even around his neck and ears. “Thahahahat’s nohohohot evehehehen a johohohoke! Hahahahaha!” Logan protested through his non-stop laughter. “Then why are you laughing so much?” Patton teased, watching Logan squirm side to side. As he observed the unusual wiggling closely, it appeared like Logan was trying to untuck the rest of his shirt, rendering his sides vulnerable. “Awww, does little Logi want his Sanders Sides tickled? All you had to do was ask me nicely!” Patton teased, lifting his shirt all the way up to his ribs and squeezing his sides. Jackpot. Logan practically melted at the touch. He occasionally squirmed, but he stopped trying to wiggle away and his laughter was bubbly and happy.

“Hahahahaha! Ihihit tihihickles! Hahahahaha!” Logan giggled. “Aww, does it tickle? Does it feel tickly and make you giggly? Is Logan a ticklish little cutie?” Patton teased, kneading and spidering over Logan’s sides with a few squeezes and pokes mixed in. Logan couldn’t help but squeak and squeal at the changing tactics, Patton seemed to completely randomise the order so he couldn’t predict what was next, each new surprise method seeming to tickle more than the last. “Boy, all this laughter-looking has made me hungry. You know what I’m in the mood for?” Patton asked. Logan shook his head, no idea what was coming. “Some raspberries!” Patton exclaimed before blowing into Logan’s belly, making the logical Side burst into belly laughter. This was somehow more ticklish than the bellybutton tickles yet not as unbearable, and definitely more fun. However, it was just as hard on his lungs. “AHAHAHAHAHA!!! PAHAHAHAHATTON, PLEHEHEASE STOHOHOHOP!!!” Logan cackled. “Aww, just one more?” Patton fake-whined. He was just joking, but Logan seemed to actually be considering his rhetorical request much to his amusement. “Fine, just get it over-WIHIHIHIHITH!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!” Logan shrieked, surprised by the unannounced raspberry on his tummy. “Ok, I’m full now.” Patton said when he finished, getting off Logan.

Logan curled into himself, letting the remainder of his giggles out as he caught his breath. Even though Patton had stopped, it was like he could still feel the phantom vibrations and tickles on his body. He’d never admit it out loud, but that was amazing. Once his breathing steadied and he could think clearly again, he remembered his glasses on the coffee table and put them back on, surprised to see Patton holding out a glass of water. “Oh. Thank you.” Logan said, taking the glass and sipping carefully as Patton sat next to him and rubbed his back. “You good?” Patton asked. “Yes Patton, I’m perfectly adequate.” Logan replied, putting the glass down. Patton pulled him into a hug which Logan cautiously reciprocated. “Don’t worry, Tickle Time’s over, only Cuddle Time now. But it’s good to know that now I have a way to make you laugh.” Patton remarked. “Well, there goes my dignity.” Logan sighed. “Huh? What do you mean?” Patton asked, letting go and facing Logan. “Patton, don’t patronise me. I know that after what just happened, it’s highly unlikely you’re ever going to take me seriously again.” Logan huffed. After that harsh confession, Patton’s expression went from confused to concerned very quickly. 

“Why would I do that? Just because you’re ticklish, doesn’t mean you’re any less smart than you were before. It doesn’t change anything. Besides, I’m ticklish, Roman’s ticklish, heck, even Virgil is ticklish, but that’s just because we’re a part of Thomas and he’s ticklish. It’s just natural, it’s no big deal. You’re still the smartest person I know and I’m always gonna listen to you.” Patton assured. Logan was quiet as he took a minute to process what Patton said. “I know you don’t consider yourself a feelings-y kind of Side, so if it makes you feel better, I promise not to tell the others about any of this.” Patton added. “Thank you, Patton.” Logan said. Patton pulled Logan into another cuddle and laid down. Logan returned the embrace and rested his head under Patton’s chin. “Now that the moment of concern has passed, do you suppose you could perhaps once again stimulate my sides with gargalesis?” Logan asked shyly. “Is that fancy-talk for “please tickle me”?“ Patton teased. Logan blushed and nodded. Patton smiled and wiggled his fingers into Logan’s sides, making the logical Side giggle and snuggle into him more. Little did they know that Virgil and Roman were back and watching them from the top of the stairs. Roman initially took his phone out to get some blackmail material but Virgil snatched it, making Roman pout. The two watched on quietly as their resident glasses geeks had their moment.

The End.

#submission #fluff #not mine #laughter #ler!patton #lee!logan #logicality #tickle fanfiction

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Cold Comforts: Cracking Ice

I imagine that you get a lot of asks so apologies if this one adds to an endless list of them. I have this sanders sides concept in mind where Patton was not the one who caused the original creativity to split nor was Patton morality during this time and it was Logan; but because Janus had left before it occured and Virgil, Remus, and Roman didnt really exist yet, no one knows about this. But because Janus can pick up on lies (including lies of omission), he quickly pieces together the truth. No idea how you'd work that into a story of any kind (if that was something you would want to do), just thought it would be neat to at least share. ax3-e0n

hey !! i don't have a super specific request, but i'd love some qpr content from you if you don't mind !! any ship is fine, but i love qpr dukeceit, analogical, and moxiety ^^ - anon

I really loved Cold Comforts (that fight did break me but in the best way possible) and I would love to know what happens in the aftermath. Like how do they actually reconcile and make up for what was said? - anon

Read on Ao3 Part 1

Warnings: self-esteem issues, implied/referenced rsd

Pairings: none

Word Count: 3293

    At first, there is elation.

Roman blinks awake in the ruined corpse of a dying tower, covered in cobwebs and layers of dust. He blinks, bits of it falling into his eyes. A phantom warmth rests on his cheeks and in his befuddled state, he thinks it might be the sun.

"Shh, little one," he hears from eons away, "it's alright. I'm here now."

He blinks again and the phantom warmth grows stronger, coalescing itself into hands on his face, thumbs gently stroking his tears away. He's still crying, lips still trying to form comforts from nothing. He blinks again and the blob in front of him focuses.

"L-Logan?"

"Hello, little one," Logan whispers, "it's okay. I'm here now."

Here.

Hands. Warm hands. Warm hands on his face, cupping it like it's something precious, like he's something precious. Warm hands that brush away his tears and a warmer voice that says it's okay. I'm here now.

"You're here?" His voice, cracked and dusty from overuse. "Y-you're really here?"

"Yes," says Logan, smiling and reaching up to run his fingers through Roman's hair, "I'm here. I'm really here. And so are you."

"Don't do that, Princey," comes another voice, one that appears over the edge of the shell too, "you scared the shit out of us."

"Language, mister," comes yet another, "but he's right, kiddo. You really scared us, there."

"Being scary is my schtick, Ro-Bro," says yet another, "don't do it without me."

And, just when Roman's heart feels fit to burst, the last voice sighs and reaches into the shell too. "Not that this isn't very touching, but I think we'd all be better off outside this very scary tower with no stairs."

He blinks dumbly as yellow-gloved hands reach for him, fitting carefully around his shoulders and gently pulling him to sit upright. Logan's hands shift down to his elbows, helping to get him out of the dust-caked blankets. His head pounds. He feels dizzy.

"Slow, you jerks," Virgil's voice mutters, "he's just been like that for who knows how long and he's been crying."

"Here," Logan says softly, only for Roman's ears, "lean on me. I've got you."

And oh, isn't that surreal, to have Logan's arms wrap around him and be leaned against a broad chest, to have another set of hands at his back and to be helped down from his dusty perch. His limbs feel discombobulated, disconnected, and he flails a few times before he figures out how to hold on too. Logan is patient with him, though, and helps him over to a chair that Remus conjures and sits him to face the sun.

"Here," says Patton, handing him a glass of water, "try and drink that, okay, sweetheart?"

Oh, he realizes belatedly, I'm being taken care of.

At first, there is elation.

They came. They actually came. They wanted to find him and so they searched for him, they found their way up a tower that he did not design to be found. They sought after him because they noticed he was gone and so they chose to come and find him. They are here because he was not there.

At first, there is elation.

Then, there is only dread.

They're going to want to know what happened. He's going to have to explain what happened. They're going to want to know what happened and why he ran so far away and why he started to fade and all of this is going to go away. He's going to have to tell them about the argument and all of the horrible things he said and he's going to watch all of this care fade away into disappointment.

Because they will be. Disappointed.

Roman, you never learn.

Roman, we've been over this.

Roman, you know better.

Roman, how could you be so cruel? Roman, you should think about the things you say before you say them. Roman, I expected better from you. Roman, you're supposed to be better than this. Roman, Roman, Roman, will you ever stop being a disappointment?

This, right now, this is the last he will be able to have this comfort with no strings attached. It will be the last time he's able to ask for something and have it be given, the last time he can feel as though they're doing it because they want to.

And even now, he can hear their voices.

That's such a mean way to think about it, Roman. I wish you wouldn't think we don't know what we're doing when we comfort you. What, did you think it was just something we did?

And, how selfish of you, Roman, that you wouldn't tell us what happened because you thought we wouldn't want to comfort you after we knew what you'd done. Maybe you should have told us right away, then we wouldn't have this problem in the first place. Logan was right.

And, this is emotionally abusive, Roman, you know that, right? Being so dramatic and playing the victim and guilt-tripping like this even though you did something wrong too. Manipulating us like this is wrong. You know it's wrong. We'd be more inclined to forgive you if you weren't being so awful about admitting that you're hurt by something.

They're here and they came and Roman wants nothing more than to run away again.

"Whatever you're thinking," Remus's voice cuts in, "stop it. Stop being mean to my brother."

Roman startles and a moment later, he has a lapful of Remus. Remus buries his nose in the crook of his neck and squeezes tightly, their hearts pressed against each other's ribcages. It's uncomfortable, it's awkward, and Roman loves it.

"I was so scared," comes the whispered confession, "when you started Fading. I thought I was gonna lose you again."

"I'm sorry, Re, I didn't mean to, I swear—"

"I know, Roro, I know."

"I just—I had to go—"

"Easy," Virgil's low voice rumbles, a hand settling on his shoulder, "breathe, bud. It's okay. You're okay. Remus isn't mad at you."

"Y-you're not?"

"No, Roro, I'm not mad at you."

The part of Roman's brain that isn't screaming softwarmsafebrothercomfort shies away at the way Remus says you.

Right.

In the way a soldier dons his armor before a fatal fight, Roman takes a deep breath and carefully pats Remus's thigh. Remus lets him go, confusion written on his features as Roman stands up and begins to lower the tower's room to the ground. It settles on the earth with a low rumble and one of the walls finally caves, leading out into a familiar field of rolling grass. He walks out into the sunshine, the warmth settling over him like boulders. He allows himself one more moment to clutch his hand to his side before he turns and faces his executioners.

"I'm sorry," he begins, "for being so dramatic. I didn't mean to Fade and while I know that doesn't change anything, and I'm not trying to use it as an excuse, I hope that the knowledge that it wasn't done purposefully makes it a little better. It might be wrong of me to hope that, but…I do. I didn't mean to affect the videos or Thomas or anything of that nature, and you have my deepest and sincerest apologies that I let my—my tantrum get this bad."

He looks at Logan. His hands twinge in pain.

"Logan, I apologize for wasting your time. I apologize for being unreasonable and bull-headed and ignorant. I didn't mean it when I said you weren't useful and I didn't mean to imply that you don't know what you're doing. I know I can come off as arrogant and overconfident and I'm sorry. I've been trying to work on it but clearly, I haven't been trying hard enough. I'll do better. I promise."

With a heavy heart, he glances over at Remus.

"And I know…I know you weren't there, but I'm sorry to you too. I—at one point during the argument, I called you a menace and nothing but a problem to be vanquished. I'm sorry."

Remus stares at him. "Ro, you don't have to apologize to me for shit. I know I'm a menace, that's my whole fucking point. And you definitely don't have to apologize for being hurt. You just said you didn't do any of this shit on purpose and I know you. I know you'd—well, you'd rather kill yourself than destroy Thomas's videos and the Imagination. Don't apologize for being hurt, okay?"

"But I—"

"But nothing," Janus says smoothly, "you were hurt, sweetie. And we didn't make you feel like you could come to us. That's not your fault."

"None of us were there for the argument," Patton adds, "so we can't judge that part of it, but you don't have to apologize to us for the rest. You're—you're okay, sweetheart."

"You're dramatic," Virgil says, hands in his pockets, "but at least you're honest about it."

Janus scoffs something that sounds suspiciously like honesty's overrated but Roman's focused on Logan.

Logan, who's watching him carefully, so carefully, slowly reaches up and adjusts his glasses. "Roman, I…"

He trails off before he can finish his sentence. A lump appears in Roman's throat and he swallows, bowing his head and waiting for the blows to strike. He'll take them, he will, whatever comes with what Logan will say. He'll do it right this time, just accept them and nod and try to move on with it. He'll lick his wounds on his own in his room like a reasonable person and everything will be fine.

"Wow," he hears Remus scoff, "you really made him fucking perfect, didn't you? Bowing his head waiting for absolution and everything."

"What? What the heck are you on about, Remus?"

"This. This, his whole 'Good Creativity' thing."

"Yeah, I got that much, why're you saying we did it?"

"The Split. The whole get-the-bad-out, leave-the-good deal. The reason Thomas has two Creativities. I'm all the stuff you didn't want and so there he is with all the stuff you do."

There's a pause. Part of Roman wants to raise his head and see what's going on but he forces himself to wait.

"Remus," Janus rebukes with a gentleness reserved for only his partners, "the Split wasn't done so neatly. It wasn't like parts were selected for each of you."

"Yeah," Patton says, "and also, I didn't happen until after the Split. I think Thomas's whole Morality thing started in the aftermath of it. I wasn't around when it happened."

"I remember it," Virgil says, "but that's only 'cause J brought you and me in when we were all really little and he'd, like, just left. It was me, you, and J trying to figure stuff out and then Logan had Patton and Roman."

"Oh. Shit. Sorry, I, uh…"

"No, it's okay. We don't really know a lot about the Split anyways."

"You're all good, bud. Hey, whoa, c'mere."

There's the telltale rustling of someone being pulled into a hug and Roman knows Janus and Virgil have wrapped their arms around Remus. His heart screams for a moment in envious rage before he stamps it out with equal fervor. He's thankful Remus has two attentive and supportive partners, and he'd sooner fall on his sword than take it away from him.

He knows what that's like.

"Roman," Logan's voice comes from in front of him, much closer in front of him, "Roman, I'm sorry."

He raises his head, heart in his throat, as Logan reaches out and cups his face again.

"I'm sorry too," he says again, "I didn't—I shouldn't have said that you were unwanted. Or that you weren't capable of seeing reason. Or any of it, none of it's true. I just—I was so angry. I wanted to hurt you."

He swallows. "You did."

"I know. I know I did, Roman, I know I hurt you, little one. I—I'm sorry I hurt you. You're not unwanted, I promise. I want you. I want you quite badly."

The earnest way Logan says it threatens tears at the corners of his eyes. "I'm sorry too."

Logan smiles, his own eyes slightly wet. "I forgive you, little one, I forgive you."

Relief sags through him and his legs almost buckle, smile breathless as he stares at Logan. It's okay, it's okay, it's all okay. Logan chuckles, letting him go, a familiar teasing grin taking shape as he ruffles Roman's hair.

The sudden release of the dread is almost strong enough to make him miss the way Janus is squinting at Logan's back.

"J-Janus? What's wrong?"

Janus's mouth presses into a thin line and he carefully extricates himself from Remus and Virgil, not taking his eyes off of Logan. "There are three types of lies."

Logan stiffens.

"Lies of commission, which are outright fabrications," he continues, walking closer, "lies of character, and lies of omission."

"Uh, okay?"

"Logan," and Roman wants to flinch at how cold Janus sounds right now, "you're lying."

Virgil scoffs. "What, he's lying about being sorry?"

"No, he's lying about the Split."

"He didn't say anything about the—oh, I see. I get where you're going now."

"Roman," Logan says, looking back up at him, "Roman, it's okay. We're okay, now, I'm sorry."

He reaches for him but Roman edges back. "What is Janus talking about?"

"Roman, I'm sorry—"

"What is he talking about?"

"Yeah, Logan," Remus says, making Logan whirl around, "what is he talking about?"

"Our dear darling Logan," Janus says, taking a step closer, "is withholding what he knows about the Split. Which is interesting, because as you'll recall, the Split happened after I'd left, before Virgil was formed enough to have sentience, and before Patton manifested. And, of course, before either of the twins existed."

Virgil frowns. "Wait, but that means that Logan, you…"

He trails off and his eyes widen as the implications of what Janus is saying sink in.

"…Logan?" Patton sounds small. "What do you know about the Split?"

"I—" Logan turns around and faces Roman again— "I didn't mean it, I'm sorry, it wasn't—I didn't—please, just listen to me—"

"Oh, we're all listening," Remus growls, "and why're you only talking to Roman? Did you forget I got Split too? Or are you all too happy that happened?"

"That's not what I meant, I didn't—no, that's not why I—" Logan glances frantically at Remus then back to Roman— "just hear me out—"

"You've said that a few times," Virgil says, voice hardening, "and you've yet to actually say anything."

"Roman—"

"Don't fucking talk to him!"

Logan flinches at the force of Remus's shout. Remus forces Logan to turn around, getting right into his face.

"Talk to me," he roars, "tell me what you thought you were doing, tell me why you won't look at me!"

"Because it worked with you!"

Silence.

Remus staggers back from Logan like he's been stabbed, Virgil already standing between them.

"I…I didn't know it would Split," Logan says shakily, "I—I just talked to Creativity and I—I said—"

He swallows.

"I said that there were parts of him that were liked and parts that weren't. And that it…it made sense for them to be…be…"

"Be what," Virgil asks when Logan doesn't finish.

"…be separated," he says weakly, "but I just meant that he should know the difference! Not that he should Split!"

"Oh, Logan," Patton mumbles, "what did you do?"

"What did you mean," Janus asks sharply, "when you said it 'worked' with Remus?"

"Creativity asked what—what the bad parts of him were and so I said that people didn't like when he was loud and messy and scary and then when I—when I came back the next day, there was a—"

Logan's breath catches and he swallows.

"I was only a child, I didn't know that this would mean—"

"There was a what?"

"…a baby. A baby Side on a rock that had been wrapped in a black and green blanket."

Janus's breath catches next. His hand finds its way to Remus. "That's how I found you. You still have that blanket."

"He—Creativity was still there when I got there but he was—he was Fading. He was almost completely transparent, and he asked me if—what I would do with the parts of him I didn't want."

"So you just fucking left me?"

"I was a child! I was panicking, I didn't know what to do, I told him I didn't know what to do, but then he kept on getting more and more frantic, asking me what I was going to do with you and he—he fell apart!" Logan's hands fly up to tangle in his hair. "He fell apart and shimmered and—and when it was over…"

His hands slowly leave his hair as he turns to look over his shoulder.

"Roman," Patton finishes, "when it was over, there was Roman. You Split Creativity into Bad and Not Bad and what was left of Creativity when he removed all that he could label Bad was…Roman."

"No fucking wonder Princey's got so many issues."

"Roman," Logan says, turning fully to face him again, "Roman, please, I didn't know, I was—I was a child, I didn't mean it, I didn't know this was going to happen."

He reaches out, almost stumbling towards him.

"You're wanted, you're wanted, I promise, you're wanted," he rambles, "I want you, I want you, do you hear me? I want you Roman, it's okay, I want you—"

A low rumble and a thunderous crash as the remains of the tower collapse to the ground. The earth shudders.

Over Roman's shoulder, a doorway appears. The door swings open to reveal the Mindscape. Janus muffles a quiet curse as Virgil stands taller.

"C'mon," he says, urging Patton and Janus toward the door, "we gotta go."

"Just let me—"

"The Imagination is ours," comes Remus's voice, low and dangerous, "and it is somewhere you do not want to be right now."

"Logan, come on," Patton says—they've already made it through the door, "just—give them space for now."

But Logan stubbornly reaches for Roman one more time. "Roman, please. Please, little one."

Roman silently opens his arm and gestures toward the door with a blank expression.

The earth rumbles again and a deep cracking sound echoes off of distant cliffs.

Logan swallows and goes to the door. Roman doesn't turn to watch him. His gaze doesn't move from the middle distance until the door shuts and vanishes.

Then he opens his mouth and screams.

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Rough Persuasion (Part Five)

Intruality (Remus x Patton) Prompt: Can you do DLAMPR with submissive bottom Patton and dominant top everybody else(patton centric) where Patton has the largest influence over Thomas but is one the hardest sides to persuade and everybody knows this. But lately Remus has been getting what he wants with mild things (that aren't that harmful) to Thomas. Everybody noticed, but Roman's the one that breaks and finally asked how he's been persuading Patton so much lately especially since Patton is repulsed by his ideas. Remus reveals Patton is easier to persuade during rough sex or with the promise of rough sex and usually says yes to anything when he's fucked into or put into submission. Roman tells the other sides and they all abuse this information, especially Logan who loves work getting done. Basically the sides one by one or by sharing fuck out Patton's ability to be sensible. With some hitting, degradation, humiliation, And anything else you'd like Warnings: sex, hair pulling, slapping, hickeys, degradation, crying, blood, spanking A request from my AO3 Finale

"Whore. Slut. Bitch. There are plenty of names I could call you right now," Remus proclaims, as he carelessly kicks Patton's door down, startling the latter, who was previously laying back on his bed, watching a movie. 

Patton quickly fumbles for the remote and sits up with a red face. Pausing the movie he was watching. 

He smiles, embarrassed. "Whatever do you mean, Remus?" he asks with faux innocence. Word gets around, and it's not hard to assume that Remus has finally found out the others have been using his strategy of getting what he wants. 

Remus huffs through his nose, crossing his arms across his chest. "You know what I mean. One day, I'm fucking you hard in order to convince Thomas to go wine-ing and grinding against a hot guy, and the next two weeks he spends cleaning, sleeping, painting his nails, writing scripts- all with you looking more and more spent!" Remus stomps forward, and grabs Patton by the hair, roughly tugging his head to the side and jabbing his finger into a dark hickey on Patton's neck, making Patton whine at the pain. 

"Letting the others fuck and bite you? Do they hit you, too? Choke you?" Remus sounds more curious than jealous, but he's clearly implying Patton's become quite the slut. 

After a moment, he lets go of Patton's hair, and crouches down, so they're face to face. 

"Is it better than me?" Remus then asks, voice low. "Do they hurt you like I do? Make you feel as good as I can?" Remus clicks his tongue, before drawing out "I don't think so!" 

Patton hardly gets a chance to process the intensity of the situation - how angry and jealous Remus is - before he's shivering with delight at the idea of Remus being so utterly possessive. He knows it's just another thing to add to Remus's already violent and intense personality. It's thrilling! 

He knows Remus isn't seriously mad - it'd be a whole other issue if he was - but it still makes Patton feel owned. Like he really was whoring out his body for sex, even though Remus was the one who forfeited the information that that was all it takes to get Patton to do whatever they wanted. 

And Remus just loves messing with Patton. It's so fun!

Though, without warning, he suddenly slaps Patton across the face when he gets no response, following it immediately by grabbing Patton's chin and forcing eye contact. "Well? Are you too stupid to think of an answer? Huh?" 

Degradingly, Remus moves Patton's chin back and forth, forcing his face side to side while a grin tugs on Remus's lips. 

And Patton, being the pathetic painslut he is, gets worked up so quickly he can't help but whimper. 

"Yes!" he immediately answers, before thinking for a moment and quickly clarifying "I mean- no! You always make me feel good; you're the best at hurting me!" Patton's fingers dig into Remus's top, twisting into the fabric to pull him closer. "The others are nowhere near as good as you are."

His words slur together with just how quickly he's ushering them out of his mouth, as though he's pleading with Remus to consider using him. 

And Remus knows this, which is why he proceeds to hum, as though debating whether or not he should cave. "Oh really, now? Then, tell me, why have you been selling yourself out to everybody else? Are you just that much of an attention whore? Do you really need constant stimulation?" Remus's arms wrap around Patton's waist, pulling their bodies flush, and making Patton tremble with excitement. 

Remus leans down ever so slightly, lips hovering above Patton's ear as he continues "because I'd be more than happy to oblige. I love the idea of turning you into a permanent little fuck toy, you know." 

He doesn't give Patton the chance to respond after that, instead just smiling wide as he moves to tackle Patton against the bed, kissing him roughly as their bodies rut together, Remus humping against him almost animalistically. 

It immediately reminds Patton just how much better at being rough Remus is compared to the others. Of course, the others are all still great in bed. He'd never say any of them were bad or anything, but there a noticeable air of inexperience or hesitance to them. They still cared about him in a way Remus doesn't. 

Remus sees this solely as a transaction because he knows Patton likes it better that way. Unlike the others, he doesn't have moral standards holding him back. 

Remus kisses him so hard it feels as though he's pulling the air right out of Patton's lungs, with his razor sharp teeth following the kiss up with a harsh bite that easily draws blood from his bottom lip. When he tries to pull away out of instinct, Remus just cradles the back of his head, and bites at his top lip instead, leaving Patton's mouth tasting of delicious blood and Remus's own spit. 

Patton gasps and squirms as though he hasn't been touched like this in months. And, to be completely fair, he hasn't. None of the others have been this rough with him right off the bat. Maybe a little embarrassed or a little agitated, but none of them could ever just take their blunt frustrations and pure sexual impulses out on him.

Not like Remus could.

Remus's lips are traveling further down Patton's face in a matter of moments, leaving Patton scrambling to gather his bearings.

Teeth suddenly sink into his neck and Patton cries out in excitement. He can feel blood begin to trickle down his neck, and then Remus's tongue eagerly lapping it up.

"I forgot just how delicious you tasted," Remus pants, licking his lips. "I want to eat you right up! Literally!" Remus laughs while Patton cringes at the idea, but he aids in Remus in getting his clothes off.

His shirt and pants are crumpled, and his cardigan is tossed carelessly across the room, before Remus is sliding Patton's boxers down and off, kicking those away after as well. It makes Patton flush as Remus stares him up and down, pure hunger glinting in his eyes.

As Remus crawls over him, pinning him to the bed, Patton can hear him rummaging for the lube, before dropping the bottle onto Patton's chest.

"I don't think I have even have to stretch you," Remus comments, as he sits back on his knees and takes his time pulling his own clothes off, carelessly tearing a thread here and there. "I bet the others have been using you so often that your hole is permanently ruined."

"It's not!" Patton immediately tries to plead. "It's not, I promise!"

Remus grins, but otherwise sits back, taking the lube from Patton as he uses it to stroke his own cock, simultaneously slathering his shaft with it and torturing Patton by making him watch as Remus pleasures himself.

Patton flushes dark when he realizes Remus is making no effort to touch him, and rolls onto his stomach, pushing his ass into the air. His head is turned to the side as his hands reach back to grab his fat asscheeks and spread them apart, showing off his awaiting hole. He needily whines as he holds that position.

"Please, please, please," Patton begs. "You're torturing me."

"Not yet, I'm not," Remus responds, as he sits up and rubs his slick hands over Patton's ass, nudging Patton's own hands away. His shaft slides over Patton's hole, but he avoids pushing in, and instead pulls away.

Patton goes to whine and complain again, but then his ass is suddenly being slapped before he's able to do so, leaving him crying in pain.

"Whore," Remus spits, before he's spanking Patton again. "Count for me."

"Two," Patton moans, but lets out another cry when his ass is hit again.

"You start at one, you stupid slut," Remus hisses, digging his nails into the fat of Patton's thigh as he berates him. "And if you mess up, we're starting over."

A shaky moan spills from Patton's mouth as he's hit again, this time stammering out a "one" afterwards. 

Remus grins to himself at Patton's obedience, sparing a moment to squeeze at the chubby flesh in front of him, before he's smacking again, wanting to keep his stupid little plaything off guard. Though, Remus is pleasantly surprised when Patton successfully moans out a "two," seemingly understanding his place. 

"You know, I still can't believe you," Remus then begins, shaking his head in disappointment. "Was I not enough for you? Hm?" He slaps Patton's ass quickly after he speaks, not giving him room to respond, but listening for the shaky "three" that comes rushing out of Patton's mouth. Amused, he continues with "were you really so cock hungry that you had to sleep with everyone else just to feel satisfied?" 

He hits Patton in the same spot, stinging his already sore ass. 

The only thing Patton can do is pathetically squeeze his thighs together to try and give himself any sort of friction, even though that doesn't work at all. "Four- I'm sorry; I can't help it!" 

Patton's half tempted to spread himself open again, show himself off for Remus to attempt to entice him to hurry and fuck him already, but based on Remus's venomous words, Patton's sure he'd get in major trouble for trying to speed along what was supposedly his punishment. Or, a bit of foreplay. One never knew with Remus. 

"Oh?" Remus hums, raising an eyebrow. "You can't help it? Is that really the best excuse you can come up with?" Remus's nails drag over Patton's fat thighs, and then back up to his ass. "A couple rounds of sex from me and suddenly you're insatiable, huh?"

He emphasizes the question with multiple rough spanks in a row, laughing hysterically when Patton cries out pathetically and quickly rushes out the numbers five, six, seven, and eight, slurring them together. 

"I guess I'll just have to make sure you constantly have a reminder of who got you hooked on sex in the first place. After all, it's thanks to me you're such a cock-addicted whore. Who turned you into such a slut, huh? Who opened your eyes to the wonderful world of nice, rough sex?" 

Patton moans, glasses sliding down his face. "You! You did! I want everyone to know you did!" he cries, sucking in gulps of air as though he's desperately running low. "I'm sorry for being such a cock-hungry whore! I can't help it! Please!" 

The spanking suddenly stops, and Remus seems still behind him. 

At first, Patton actually gets his hopes up. He thinks he's finally going to get sweet, intense relief. But those hopes quickly disintegrate as a hand tangles roughly in his hair and shoves his face forcefully against the mattress, keeping Patton from seeing the sadistic grin on Remus's face. 

"Somebody forgot to count," Remus then sings, voice low and taunting, making Patton shiver and gasp as he attempts to formulate an apology, though he's never given the chance to say it. 

Patton has no time to prepare before Remus is roughly hitting him one after another in quick succession, leaving Patton crying pathetically as his tears soak into the mattress. Remus makes sure he hits hard enough to leave plenty of bright red handprints on Patton's ass, on display for anyone who dares to fuck him next, and a reminder to Patton that no one will satisfy him like Remus will. 

Each slap against his skin causes stinging to ripple through his thick skin, burning through his body and making Patton's cock twitch and leak. Until finally Remus decides to show mercy and stop with the hitting, taking to rubbing over the burning flesh instead. 

He squeezes, making Patton hiccup with pain. When he does though, Remus just smacks his ass again. 

"Quit whining," he spits, dragging his nails over Patton's sides. "Tell me how good you feel." 

"I feel so good!" Patton immediately moans, though his voice trembles as he speaks. "Nobody can hurt me like you can!" 

Remus grins. "Damn right." 

"I've been hoping one of the others would but they're just not you. They're not enough. I need you, please, please, Remus!" 

It's amazing to hear the usually so sweet and moral side begging to be hurt and used, but it's something Remus has grown quite familiar with. He'll never get used to it though, which is why it's only a few seconds of begging before he finally caves and grabs the bottle of lube. 

Quickly and effortlessly, he's popping the lid open, and before Patton can ask why he's using more, the tip is being pushed against his hole and suddenly a slurry of lube is being poured inside of him, slicking up his insides and making him feel as though Remus has come inside of him already. 

It's such a strange, sexual feeling that Patton feels his body going hot, reacting intensely to the feeling as his mind already begins to think about Remus fucking the excess out of him. 

Patton's helpless to do anything but whine, finding himself desperate for more attention and pleasure. He mumbles something unintelligible into the mattress, but his muffled words pique Remus's interest, and encourage him to tangle his sharp nails into Patton's curly locks, roughly yanking his head back enough for him to talk. 

"What was that?" Remus presses, as his cock slides between Patton's fat cheeks. "What are you whining about now?" Remus tugs at Patton's hair. "You need to learn to speak up, mutt." 

Patton cries out at the pain, while Remus laughs at his breathy gasps. 

Letting out little whimpers, Patton moans when Remus just slaps his thigh, rubbing the mark firmly afterwards as he waits for Patton's answer. 

Instinctively, Patton spreads his legs further, and reaches back to squeeze one of his own ass cheeks again. He attempts to tempt Remus with his own desperation, as he pleads "I said fuck me! Please? Please?" Patton pants as he speaks, cock leaking between his legs. "I'm sorry- I'm so sorry I let the others use me. None of them made me feel anywhere near as good as you do!" 

He's attempting to bargain, which is made way more attractive by the very needy tears in his eyes. 

Once again, Remus pauses for a moment, as he instead just looms over Patton with an amused hum, as he hits Patton's hand away from his backside, replacing it with his own as it squeezes, and as he continues sliding his cock teasingly over Patton's hole. After a few seconds, he lets go of Patton's hair and watches as Patton's head immediately falls, and uses his free hand to grope Patton's other cheek, squeezing and groping Patton's ass and molding it around his cock. 

"Hmm," Remus then begins to contemplate, "I don't know... I could get plenty of pleasure just grinding against you like this." He moans loudly to emphasize his point, torturing Patton with his own noises of delight. "Sure, you wouldn't feel that good from this, but leaving you deprived seems like a fitting punishment for sleeping around like a whore." 

Patton cries in disapproval, but Remus ignores him, following his suggestion up with "maybe I'll plug you up and carelessly throw you off to one of the other sides. I'm sure they would appreciate you coming pre-lubed." 

Remus leans over Patton's back, hot breath fanning against Patton's neck. 

Voice low, Remus grunts out "Since you're having so much fun sleeping with everyone else anyway, they might as well be the ones to use you." 

"No!" Patton pleads, voice strained. "Please! Remus, please, please!" 

He sounds desperate, so much so that Remus would feel bad about teasing Patton if he honestly gave a fuck. But he doesn't, so he just laughs at Patton's neediness, before calming himself down to a slight chuckle. 

"You're pathetic!" Remus exclaims, digging his nails deep into Patton's flesh. "It's fucking hot. But, if I'm going to give you the pleasure of having my cock inside you, you're going to do something for me." 

Patton cries. "Anything!" 

Remus leans close into Patton's ear, setting one of his hands atop Patton's in a way that almost makes it seem like they're interlocking hands. 

And in a hushed whisper, Remus murmurs "you're going to take a break." 

As he pulls his head away, leaving a trail of kisses and nips down Patton's back, he hears Patton make a noise of confusion, as he echoes back "a break?" 

"You're overworking yourself," Remus clarifies. His tone makes it seem like he's still dirty talking, but his words are genuine. "Between encouraging Thomas to do this and that, and letting yourself be used, you haven't had a day to just chill out." 

Patton's fingers flex against the mattress. Between shallow breaths, he pants "I wouldn't expect you to be one to give casual advice." 

Remus rolls his eyes. "You'd be no fun to use if you're constantly spent. Why'd you think I waited so long to finally give you a piece of my mind?" 

Teeth scraping over his shoulder, Patton lets out a shuddering breath. 

"Fine," he accepts, with a sigh. "I'll take a break." 

"Good! Now that we've got that settled..." Remus licks his lips as he pulls back, lining the tip of his cock up properly with Patton's hole, before pushing in roughly. 

Patton's surprised by the sudden intrusion, and he lets his chest sink into the mattress as he moans loudly. He's finally getting what he needed!

Remus's hands bruise his hips with how firmly they hold him, keeping his ass up and still as Remus animalistically pounds into him, grunting as he does. There's an echoing squelch that occurs with each thrust as the excess lube squirts out of Patton's hole around Remus's cock with each thrust in. 

"Fuck," Remus curses, fucking hard into Patton, "it's been hell having to hold myself back." 

He grits his teeth as he groans, making a mess of pre and lube as it spills down Patton's thighs. 

"It's been torture seeing you walk around with all those hickeys. None of them are as dark as mine, or stay as long as mine do, but I'm sure you realized that." His teeth sink into Patton's neck, and he sucks a nice dark hickey after, smiling at Patton's cry of pain. Into his ear, Remus whispers "I'll be sure to leave plenty more than that, so the others will know who you really belong to." 

So, along with his hard thrusts, Remus is also sure to leave plenty of dark marks along Patton's neck,. making sure it's absolutely covered, and when he decides he's out of space, he leaves a few more over Patton's shoulders. 

Then, his cock thrusts against Patton's prostate, earning a sudden, pathetic cry from the man. 

"Please!" Patton begs, as though it's the only word his clouded mind can think of. "Please, please, please!" 

Remus grins as he aims for that spot, slamming his cock deep into Patton's prostate, stimulating him in quick intervals until Patton's body is trembling. 

Wrapping his hand around Patton's front, Remus grasps his cock and gives it quick strokes. He doesn't care about keeping a rhythm, and instead lets his slick hand move of its own accord, working Patton off messily and expecting the mess between them to only get worse. 

It only takes a few more strokes of Patton's cock to have him spilling carelessly over Remus's hand, making Remus moan as Patton clenches around his cock. 

He strokes Patton through his orgasm, and then once again grasps Patton's hips as he fucks hard into him, before finally coming himself with a lewd moan, and an overstimulated whimper from Patton. 

His semen mixes in with the lube inside of Patton, and as he pulls his cock out the mixture spills onto the mattress between them, which Patton collapses into shortly after. Remus happily flops down on top of him, smiling at the desperate way Patton gasps for air. 

"Feel good?" Remus asks, as he licks a bead of sweat from Patton's head. Patton cringes away from him, but nods his head and lets out an affirmative moan regardless. 

Remus smiles, and snuggles close to Patton. He's firm and touchy as Patton tries to relax and rest, but Patton really wouldn't have it any other way. 

#intruality #intruality smut #sanders sides #sanders sides smut #not safe for sanders #agp smut #nsfs intruality

[daughter-of-melpomene]

MCU/Marvel + Candice Patton?

Ooooh, I actually love this idea, thanks so much, Greta!! <3

NAME: Ashlynn Hollister.

LOVE INTEREST: Clint Barton.

SUMMARY: A mutant with the power of healing, Ashlynn had been scooped up by S.H.I.E.L.D. almost the second she turned eighteen, offered training and a job as a medic in exchange for a much better paycheck than she'd likely get anywhere else. Now, more than fifteen years later, Ashlynn is the best medic S.H.I.E.LD. has on their roster, spending her days patching up wounded agents with nothing more than a few brushes of her fingers and a thought - especially Clint Barton, an arrow-slinger who seems to be more accident-prone than any S.H.I.E.L.D. employee Ashlynn has ever met before. Ashlynn finds almost everything about Clint - his constant flirting, his caffeine addiction, his absolute commitment to his purple color scheme - incredibly annoying, and she's even more annoyed with Director Fury when, after the newly-formed Avengers become an official team, he appoints her as their team medic. But as she spends more and more time with Clint, she's forced to wonder if maybe there's another reason he seems to push her buttons so well.

OTHER INFO:

Obviously in this story, Clint isn't married to Laura and doesn't have any kids - the family in the farmhouse is actually his brother Barney's, like they are in the comics.

Ashlynn is fairly powerful as far as mutants go, but her powers do have some limitations - she can only heal physical wounds, not trauma or any kind of mental ones, she can't bring anyone back to life, and she can't heal any disabilities or anything like that.

She and Bruce become besties once she starts working with the Avengers; Ashlynn is pretty good at bringing him out of his shell and, once she realizes he has a crush on Thor, encourages him to go after his man... or, well, god.

She would have taken a theater course in college if S.H.I.E.L.D. hadn't gotten to her, and still takes part in a few community theater productions in her spare time. The team definitely comes to a few of them when they can make it.

She and Clint take a while to get together, even though they bicker like an old married couple anyway, but once they do they're actually pretty cute together (and even more like an old married couple than before).

send me a fandom + faceclaim and i'll create an oc!!

#asks about my ocs

[prince-rowan-of-the-forest]

I got a prompt, not sure how good it is but:

Patton tries to distract himself from his stress/emotions via stress baking for the sides. This has dire unintended consequences when Patton realizes too late that his negative energy managed to seep in and poisoned his baked goods

Stressed Bakes

----

Patton channels a little too much stress into his baked goods, everyone feels the consequences.

----

| Ao3 |

Warnings: What could potentially be seen as unintentional emotional manipulation, a hefty amount of food mentions (this fic is entirely about baking)

Pairings: gen, no romantic pairings

Word count: 3164

Notes: Thank you anon for the prompt! Anyone please feel free to send prompts my way, they're a very good motivator!

I'll be honest this didn't turn out nearly as angsty as I intended when I started writing it, but I still have fun, I hope you enjoy!!

Tags: @full-of-roman-angst-trash @reptilianrapscallion420 @your-local-random-dino @cutebisexualmess (if anyone wants to be added let me know1)

Patton loved to bake. Ask any of the others and they’d tell you the same thing. It was true! Patton loved making just about anything, cakes, cookies, macaroons, meringues, pastries and pies, sweet and savoury. He enjoyed making cinnamon swirls, belgium buns, and apple tarts. Just about anything, really, if you can name some baked goods, Patton’s probably made them and enjoyed the process.

Baking came to him almost like magic, it was easy as pie (haha, get it?) to whip up sweet treats and savoury snacks for everyone to enjoy. 

That was why, as well as one of his favourite hobbies, baking was Patton’s favourite coping mechanism too.

It was easy, but still took focus, it was time consuming but still enjoyable, it was fun and even resulted in an end product everyone could enjoy! It was a much better way to cope with the stresses he pretended not to deal with than other methods he’d seen, anyway.

Patton would never tell the others, not with them all already upset and stressed enough without everything he had going on being dumped onto their plates as well. The wedding had hit all of them hard, Patton knew. Knowing what he was doing wrong - and that he could fix it - had made things a little easier, but ultimately that fiasco hadn’t ended well for anyone.

Roman was still angry at himself and pushing himself too hard as a result. Logan was working overtime and barely leaving his room aside from mealtimes, Virgil was… well, upset didn’t cover half of it, Patton knew Virgil was angry at him for accepting Janus so quickly, not to mention anxious about what it would do to them. Janus himself… well Patton had no clue how he was feeling, he was just as good at hiding things as Patton himself had gotten, and Remus… Well. 

Remus still scared Patton out of his socks whenever the opportunity seemed to arise for him, it was driving Patton a little mad, with paranoia and then guilt at being paranoid and then worry about how his worry would effect Thomas whilst he also couldn’t help but worry about how Remus was faring despite his own hesitations. 

All in all, it was stressful, Patton was stressed and emotionally keyed up to maximum with worry and sadness and anxiety to the point he was genuinely surprised he hadn’t accidentally summoned Virgil by now.

So Patton turned to his one steadfast trick that was almost guaranteed to help him relieve some of the stress he had been feeling over the last few days. 

Patton baked, and baked and baked. All morning and well into the afternoon Patton was making sweets and cakes and other sugary treats and as he baked he slowly felt his negativity melt away.

His worries about the others, his fears that he couldn’t help them, his overwhelming guilt for the way he had so blatantly manipulated and hurt his famILY without even realising it. All the self doubt over what was right, all the self hatred and pily for not knowing the answer. The terrible feeling that had him wondering if he was even useful anymore, the worry that maybe he really had been doing everything on purpose, maybe he really was just evil, bad for Thomas. All the bad feelings, all the things he tried so hard to push down, down, down with a smile, all the stress he forced himself not to show. It all just… melted away as he baked. 

And when he finally felt like he was done, now that his feet were sore and his arms ached from kneading dough and stirring mixtures but all he felt was the light, happy feeling of pride at a job well done, Patton had a plethora (Logan would be proud of him for that word, he thought) of baked goods for everyone to share, too. 

Since he’d been thinking about Logan, Patton decided he’d be the first side Patton offered his treats to. He grabbed a selection he thought the logical side might like; some jam tarts, made using the various flavours of Crofters they kept in the cupboards, a blackberry and pomegranate mini-pie, an apple turnover cupcake, some sugarcookies that he had decorated in colours for each side (he grabbed the dark blue ones for Logan) and a couple bite-sized pieces of sugar dusted shortbread. 

“Hello, Patton,” Logan said when he answered Patton’s knock at his bedroom door, his face stony and emotionless as it always seemed to be lately, he hoped one of his treats might be able to bring a smile back onto his friend’s face, even for a short while, “Did you need something?”

“Nope!” Patton said, popping the ‘p’ happily, “I’ve been baking! I wondered if you wanted something?”

“Oh,” Logan said, standing up straighter, he looked rigid, like someone could snap him in half, the sight usually made Patton’s heart hurt, but now he couldn’t help but think positively! Was that a hint of a smile he saw? “What did you make?”

“I brought you a selection!” Patton said, grinning fully now as he offered the plate, “I made a lot, so I thought I’d let you choose.” 

The corner of Logan’s mouth twitched upwards as he took one of the jam tarts, thanking Patton before biting into it. Instead of the smile Patton expected to see in response to Logan’s favourite jam, though, his face twisted almost immediately into a frown whilst he looked mildly surprised.

“Is… something wrong?” Patton asked, entirely confused, he had made those tarts the same way he always had, and Logan had never frowned like that before.

“Nothing- wrong, per-se,” Logan said softly, “It’s just, strangely bitter, is all, I was surprised.”

“Oh?” Patton said, somehow even more confused, “Well that’s- odd- maybe I accidentally got some of the lemon into the jam by accident…”

“Could I take another? To check?” Logan asked, Patton modded immediately, offering the plate. Logan took another tart, one of the other flavours, this time Roman’s Royal Raspberry flavour, instead of his own. Again, he frowned and said that that one was bitter too. How strange, Patton thought, 

“Maybe those jars of Crofters were a bit off,” Patton chuckled, trying to hide his embarrassment, “You’re welcome to take the plate, if you’d like- I don’t know if the others will be ok, but these ones I made for you?”

“That is appreciated, Patton,” Logan said, taking the plate from him, his face briefly ticked into what might have been something happy, before smoothing out again, “Please be sure to check the use-by dates on products when baking in the future.”

“Will do! Enjoy the treats!” Patton called with a wave before Logan shut the door. Patton turned around, taking a deep breath. The Crofters must have just been a little out of date and he must’ve just not realised, that was fine, just a little mistake, nothing to worry about. Patton was sure the rest of his treats would be just as yummy as he expected. 

—-

When Patton arrived back in the kitchen to grab the next side on his list a similarly plated up selection of snacks he found that Remus had beaten him to it and was currently stuffing his face with the mini French Fancies Patton had made a couple of batches of. 

“Hey bud,” Patton said, announcing his presence from the doorway, Remus jumped and turned to him, looking a little sheepish as he popped the final Fancy into his mouth. 

“Hey Pat!” Remus called through a mouthful of sponge and icing, waving a hand, “D’you bake all this?”

“Mhm,” Patton said, trying not to cringe at the way Remus was getting crumbs everywhere, “Did you like those Fancies?”

“Oh yeah, delicious,” Remus grinned, finishing his mouthful, “Jan never lets me eat any of his stress bakes, I didn’t know you did it too!”

“Janus stress bakes too?” Patton asked, curious despite himself, Remus took one of the chocolate chip cookies from the side and bit it clean in half, pausing a second before answering.

“Yeah, he usually throws everything he makes away though! I never get to have some,” Remus huffed, tilting his head a little.

“Well you’re always welcome to mine, kiddo,” Patton said, putting on a smile that he was sure was slightly awkward. If Janus stress baked too, why would he throw it all away? Wasn’t that a waste?

Remus gasped, “I get a kiddo? Must be my lucky day, cookies and a kiddo!”

Patton chuckled, “Well, you’re part of this famILY too now, aren’t you?”

It hurt, just a little, how astounded Remus looked by that statement, as if he thought Patton would still shun him after everything that’s happened now. After a moment of awkward silence, Patton realised he’d forgotten about his original mission, delivering sweet treats to the other sides, and set about making up another plate of the baked good left. 

“Where’re ya taking those?” Remus asked, hopping onto the counter when Patton picked up the plate. He swung his legs, kicking the cupboard beneath him with every swing. 

“These are for Roman, I’m gonna take some for Virgil and Janus too when I get back,” Patton explained. Remus frowned for a moment, before shrugging and going back to eating Patton’s sweets. That was odd, wasn’t it?

—-

Once Patton had delivered his treats around to everyone in record time, he settled into the couch to work on a bit of crochet. A hobby he had had barely any time to dedicate to since all this mess had started. He made himself busy picking up a half finished project for almost half hour before he was interrupted by Virgil coming down the stairs in floods of tears.

Well, that wasn’t normal. Patton didn’t think he’d ever seen Virgil cry at all, let alone sobbing so hard he had to cling to the banister for support. Patton immediately dropped what he was holding and jumped up, rushing over to Virgil.

“Kiddo!” Patton cried, “What happened? What’s wrong- oh, are you alright with touch? Would you like a hug?”

“I- touch- touch is fine,” Virgil said, surprisingly lucid through the tears. Regardless, Patton reached for him and pulled him tightly into a hug. When they separated, Patton gently tugged Virgil over to the sofa, sitting him down and pressing their shoulders together. Virgil was still crying, attempting to wipe the tears that wouldn’t stop coming away from his eyes, though he seemed a little less distressed than before, at least. 

“Can you tell me what’s wrong, Virge?” Patton asked, rubbing circles between his shoulder blades. Virgil had hunched forwards a little, hands clenched into fists.

“I don’t- I don’t know-” Virgil choked out around the sobs, “I don’t- I don’t understand why I’m crying- it’s- I was fine ten minutes ago- not- not even panicking too bad or anything and- and now I can’t stop-,”

“Alright kiddo, I hear you,” Patton said softly, “Can you maybe talk me through what you’re feeling right now?”

“Confused,” Virgil said, “Really fucking confused.”

“Language,” Patton chided gently.

“Sorry,” Virgil muttered, “I just- I just feel this weird sense of… worthlessness, like, like I’m messing up everything, all the time, like I feel like I can’t make any good choices, or say the right things but- but they’re not my feelings, but- I don’t know how the heck to describe it, but it- it hurts, Pat, it’s painful and- and I haven’t been able to stop crying since it started it’s so awful-”

“Gee that does sound confusing,” Patton said shaking his head, “Well- well I’m here for you, if you want to talk it out, or we would just sit, if you’d like?”

“I think just- just sitting would be good,” Virgil said, wiping his eyes with his hoodie sleeve yet again, Patton summoned a box of tissues and silently passed them to him, “Thanks- I just- I feel so, so alone and empty it’s just- it’s just nice knowing you’re here, I guess, eugh, that’s gross.”

Patton chuckled, at least the Virgil he knew was in there beneath all the tears that had been brought on by who knows what, “Well I’ll always be here for you, kiddo, don’t you worry.”

“Thanks, Pat,” Virgil said, leaning his head on Patton’s shoulder. They sat in silence, every so often Virgil’s sobs would get worse and Patton would squeeze his shoulders, offering quiet murmurs of comfort and otherwise they sat there quietly. Patton didn’t pick up his crochet again, happy to dedicate all of his attention to Virgil for now. 

That was until, during a bout of calm in Virgil’s tears,  Roman came crashing down the stairs, rushing into the living room and collapsing to the ground in front of them and taking deep breaths. Virgil let himself slide off the sofa so that- despite his tears- he could guide Roman through the panic attack he seemed to be having. 

“Roman?” Patton asked, once Virgil had seemingly gotten him to a state of relative calm, “What’s wrong, kiddo?”

“I don’t-” Roman took a deep breath, “I was doing my own thing in the imagination when I was- was overcome with this sense of panic, about whether you were all alright, and I suppose I worked myself up over it until I was thinking what if one of you were hurt or upset and I wasn’t there to help and I just- well I ran here to try and find you, where’s Logan?”

“Logan is safe, kiddo,” Patton reassured, he knew how it felt, he always worried about the others too, he knew the feeling almost as if it was his own, “And me and Virgil are fine too, right kiddo?”

“But- but Virgil, you’re crying-?” Roman asked, seemingly only just noticing that fact, Patton had to hold back a giggle at Virgil’s startled expression as Roman swooped forward to cup his face with his hands, gently wiping away the tears.

“I’m fine Princey, you oaf, just- just something weird’s going on, I think,” Virgil said, batting at Roman’s hands halfheartedly. 

“How about you two come and sit with me up here,” Patton suggested, “Then I can hug you both, if you’d like me to.”

“I- I think I’d like that very much, padre,” Roman said, shifting to sit back up whilst Virgil sniffed and mumbled an agreement.

—-

Only maybe five minutes later, Logan silently walked down the stairs, book under his arm and with a wary expression on his face, and sat down on the floor in front of them with his back to the sofa. He brought his knees to his chest and opened his book, beginning to read. A few minutes in, Logan reached over and placed a hand on Patton’s ankle. 

Patton couldn’t quite fathom what on earth had gotten all three of them so upset all at once, with Virgil’s quiet sniffles and choked off sobs every now and then buried in Patton’s cardigan. Roman’s hands that shook where they held onto one of Patton’s and the featherlight touch of Logan’s hand on his foot, grounding and safe. Patton was certain he’d head Logan’s breath hitch more than once too, but he wouldn’t bring it up. Logan hated showing emotion, after all, and if he was willing enough to seek comfort then Patton wouldn’t ruin it by pointing it out.

“Well isn’t this just a lovely pile of joy?” Said Janus, completely shattering their moment as he appeared around the side of the sofa.

“Hey- hey Jnaus,” Virgil mumbled, wiping away yet more tears, “What do you want?”

“Oh nothing at all really,” Janus said, waving a hand, “I just heard from my sources that someone was being irresponsible with his stress bakes.”

“What do you mean?” Patton asked, tilting his head in confusion, he had remembered to give Jnaus some of his bakes, hadn't he? “Did I forget to give me some?”

“No, you gave me some,” Janus confirmed, “Tell me Patton, have you ever stress baked in the same capacity as you did today before?”

Patton’s face scrunched up a little, eyebrows furrowing and nose wrinkling in confusion, “I- suppose not? Today was- today was pretty bad, I suppose…”

“Well I suppose that explains your complete ignorance as to what’s happening here,” Janus huffed. 

“Why’re you being so mean,” Roman snapped from his place leaning against Patton’s side, “Patton just wanted to share his sweets with us.”

Janus recoiled only slightly, before taking a deep breath and ignoring him, instead continuing to focus on Patton, “By channelling your emotions into your baking, Patton, with… the way we are… the emotions seeped into the goods, making them bitter and impacting everyone who ate them.”

“Wh-what?” Patton squeaked, leaning forward and startling Logan by accident, “Sorry, L, but Janus, what? Are you- are you saying I’ve- what- poisoned them? With- with my negativity?”

Virgil gripped tighter to his arm, whilst Janus sighed.

“That is entirely incorrect,” He said, swiftly walking over and offering a glass of water to Virgil, “I see you’ve already made progress by calming them down, but they’re feeling your feelings, the ones you wished away into your cookies, and it won’t go away until you confront them.”

“And there’s- there’s not gonna be a way around that, is there?” Patton asked, cringing a little. Already knowing the answer.

“I’m afraid not,” Janus said with a sad smile, “Luckily for you, I had only eaten one cookie before Remus informed me what was going on, so I’m definitely not in a mindspace to help you sort this out.”

“Alright,” Patton took a deep breath, “Are, um, are you guys ok with this- I suppose having to help me sort out… my own feelings.”

“It does not seem like we have much of a say in the matter,” Logan said, voice quiet and subdued.

“If it’ll stop this crying I’ll do literally anything,” Virgil groaned.

Roman just nodded, so Patton gently nudged him with his shoulder, hoping to comfort him at least a little.

“Alright,” Janus said, moving over to sit down, “It’s time for some group therapy.”

“Wait!” Patton cried, “Um, surely uh, surely we should get Remus here too? He definitely ate far more than his fair share of the cakes.”

“You are correct that Remus has been affected by this incident, as well,” Janus said, before waving him off, “But I would recommend that you deal with him individually, considering.”

“Considering… what?” Patton asked, wary.

“Remus has landed himself with all of your intrusive thoughts,” Janus explained, “As is his name, as well as the thoughts you try and push away about wishing you could let loose every now and again, he is… incredibly excited about it.”

“...ah.” Patton said softly, nodding, “Alright, I’ll find Remus later, group therapy with just us five for now.”

“Alright,” Janus sighed, sitting down in an armchair, “Let’s get this over with, shall we?”

#sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #fanfic #patton sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders #janus sanders #tw food #rowans writings

[lesbiangummybearmafia]

Gilded Age, 02x06, Warning Shots. My thoughts...

Turner can go fuck herself! Seriously her revenge doesn't go the way she wants it to, so her next is to steal Bertha box at Met. By getting some getting some old money people to go to new opera house she has some cojones. Hoe I don't think so! I love that George set everything right again, don't mess with his wife! Good man! Can someone, but Bertha please expose Turner for who she really is, a two bit hoe lady's maid that tryed pathetically to get her bosses husband to sleep with her. She'll be dropped out of high society on her ear!

The word frenemies should of been invented to describe Bertha and Mrs. Astor's "friendship". I swear the moment Gladys said 'I thought you were friends' to Bertha, frenemies started flashing in my head in neon red lol.

Omg Marian, I felt so horrible for her put on spot like that in front of everyone. He didn't even court her or anything! Oscar at least kissed the girl he's trying to convince. He's gay for crying out loud, can't imagine kissing a woman high on list of things to do but he did damn it! Marian and Dashiell haven't even done that, let alone gone a true date or anything. I do like him, it just feels like he's jump the gun alot. It seems like he's looking more for a mother for his daughter than an actual wife. Which isn't cool dude! I do like how Marian got around saying yes, that was creative.

How cruel to do that to Aunt Ada and Luke. It's just evil! I just bust into tears. She finally finds her person only to have this happen. Aunt Ada has the purest of hearts she and Luke don't deserve this!! All I know is there better be a goddamn miracle happen and he lives!!! When Aunt Ada comes down stairs and Aunt Agnes is waiting for her just being her big sister. I couldn't take it, I started sobbing right along with Aunt Ada. Because not matter what Aunt Agnes said or does she loves her little sister.

I really don't like what their doing with Peggy and her boss! This week I'm liking she's all get away you're married. Just hope it stays that way. Because other wise it's just going to come off as badly for both characters. I really don't like her boss! Beyond he's already married! All I know is if I heard the line my wife doesn't understand me like you do. I might scream!

Ok I'm so confused what Oscar is up with the investment. I am glad he moved in direction that might lead to something more then friendship. I do like them together.

Can George please be a good man to his workers. He's such a good man in so many other respects. When he was in the head of labor union house it was easy to see he cared. Especially the fact that son worked at the plant or that the children didn't go school or have one to go to. He's not like the guy that works for him. George isn't a heartless, unfeeling, subhuman who would of gladly killed all those men and not even blinked an eye. So I'm hoping we'll see George do the right by working with the labor union to come with deal that works with for both sides. Also see build a school, George Russell is a fictional character after all why not make him like say Milton Hershey who really champion for his workers, build them homes, schools, a hospital and everything else in Hershey, Pennsylvania so they could work more easily at his plant. Because it's like we can him wanting do that. He stop those soldiers from shooting on the striking workers, where the other dude would of been happy with countless die and wouldn't of cared, he'd all been price of doing business he's just subhuman!

I think it so amazing what Jack did with clock! I definitely don't think he shouldn't give up. Love how everyone in the house expects one believe in him and gave him the money to go to patton office.

Can we take a minute to talk about Armstrong. They show us how horrible her mother is ok I can get that, but there are people with horrible parents that don't become that. I'm living proof of that! So what else is her deal!?! Because she's one dimensional at this point, even after them showing us her mother it's still impossible to have any empathy or simple care for her. She's just the most bitter, jaded, miserable character of the whole series. If anyone would be entitled to feel that way it would be Peggy's, her baby son died but she's nothing like that. So I hope they give us more on Armstrong character. Because I'm so tried of her being a buzz kill, shit Aunt Agnes isn't that bad!! When she said that stuff when Jack's patton get approved, truthfully I just really wanted to slap her. Because being cruel and horrible is a choice, it's abusive. It's not because of how she was raised with her mother if that was case she's be like to everyone. She's not, if she was like that with say Aunt Agnes her ass would of been fired by now. She's selective on who she's abusive too.

I'm over Mr. McAllister playing both side! I feel he needs to be loyal to one side now. I of course I want it to Bertha's. personally find Mrs. Astor too arrogant, overblown, way too many people been kissing her ass for so long that thinks she just be a bitch to everyone. Or that her personality because outside her daughter we haven't seen her be truly nice to anyway not ever Mr. McAllister. It's she walks in a room she just expects them all just to kiss her ass. Where Bertha generally nice to people, especially her staff. Which is one of things I do really love about her. I do wish be less shape with Gladys. She keep Gladys in a golden box than snap at her when she doesn't understand something. It's like Bertha you only have yourself to blame if Gladys doesn't understand these things. Chill woman! Gladys looked so hurt by Bertha words and tone. I understand that feeling very well. I would really love to see a scene where Gladys stands up to Bertha when she snaps at her and Bertha realize what she's doing. And they have a moment where Bertha said she's going to stop doing that. Because we have seen it in her Bertha way she does truly love both her children deeply.

I do have to say I want more Bertha in last two episodes she's been seriously lacking. Or at least it felt lacking to me. I know there are bunch of other story lines going on and need they need equal attention but I still want more Bertha!!

#the gilded age #the gilded age spoilers #the gilded age season 2 #02x06 #warning shots #bertha russell #george russell #gladys russell #marian brook #anges van rhijn #ada brook #oscar van rhijn #dashiell montgomery #maude beaton #jack tga #armstrong tga #turner tga #i #my thoughts

[fangirlwriting-stories]

Protector

Chapter One

Chapter Forty-Two:

Virgil could tell his worry about Janus was bugging Remus.  They may have made an agreement to respect each others opinions about the core sides, but Remus still wasn’t exactly Janus’ biggest fan, it was obvious he didn’t love the way Virgil clearly wanted to check on him.

He was trying to find a way to bring it up to Remus that wouldn’t just piss him off more, but it was proving rather difficult.  He’d kind of exhausted his options on all other fronts, though.  Roman had told him everything he knew about Janus’ situation, and when he asked Patton and Logan, they’d told him essentially the same thing— they were worried about Janus and he wasn’t leaving his room.  He’d tried waiting outside Janus’ door for a while, assuming he’d at least have to come out for food at some point, but there was no such luck.  He needed the opinion of a professional anti-repressionist, and there was no one better for that job than Remus.

Now if he could just get past the “Remus hates Janus’ guts and doesn’t want to help him” issue.

Fortunately— or unfortunately, it had to be one of the two, right— Remus could tell that Virgil was worried, and Virgil could tell that Remus could tell.  Meaning it was only a matter of time before one of them brought it up and they figured something out.

Virgil wasn’t at all surprised that Remus mentioned it first.

It was a Saturday, and they were both relaxing in Remus’ room.  Remus was checking on his mold pile in the corner, and Virgil was sitting backwards on Remus’ desk chair scrolling through tumblr.  It was still a little difficult sometimes to convince his brain that he wasn’t in danger from just sitting there, but he was getting much better at it, and right now, he was actually rather calm.

So when Remus moved over in front of him looking a little apprehensive, he wasn’t exactly thrilled.

“We should talk about it,” Remus said.

Virgil looked up at him.  “Right now?  Come on, Re, just let me have my Saturday.”

“Then when are we going to talk about it Ara-gag?  When you’re stressed?  That’s not gonna go well.”

Virgil groaned and crossed his arms over the back of the chair so he could drop his head on them.  “What do you have against putting off problems until they solve themselves, Re?”

“They don’t solve themselves, they get bigger.  Come on, Virge.”

Virgil sighed.  “Fine.  What part do you want to talk about?  I assume you’re not just going to give me ideas.”

“Well, I kind of like that he’s having a miserable time.”

“So just to clarify, you want to… put off fixing the problem until it gets bigger.”

Remus scowled.  “That’s different.  I like this problem.”

“So what don’t you like?”

“I don’t like seeing you worried,” Remus said, throwing his hands up.

“Well, I hate to break it you Re,” Virgil said, standing up.  “But the two problems are kind of related.”

“You don’t want Janus to be miserable for a little bit?”

“He already was,” Virgil said, rubbing the back of his neck.  “For a lot longer than anyone thought.  I’m surprised you didn’t pick up on that.”

“About the way Janny was tired of hiding who he is?  I did.”

Virgil tipped his head curiously.  “I’m surprised you didn’t tell everyone.”

“I wasn’t going to solve his problems for him.”

Virgil hummed in acknowledgement.  “Fair enough.  Can you help me solve his problems for him then?”

“Don’t want to.”

“Re, this isn’t going to get better if someone doesn’t step in.  And it’s just going to make more problems.”

“Sounds to me like it’s removing a problem.”

“What if the others get over here and no one can go to Janus for help?” Virgil asked, raising an eyebrow.  “What if Thomas’ mental health worsens significantly because he and the others aren’t taking care of themselves, or just because Janus is isolated?  That would give me more work to do.  It would give you more work to do that you don’t like as much.”

Remus whined in dissatisfaction.  “Janus can’t be miserable while everyone else is fine?”

“It doesn’t work like that, Re.”

Remus grumbled and crossed his arms.  “You can’t just stop being worried?”

“I… don’t want to, Remus.”

Remus groaned and ran his hands through his hair.  “Why not?  Why do you care so much about him?”

“I don’t know.”

“You just do?”

“Yeah.”

Remus huffed and crossed his arms.  After a second, he sighed.  “I really can’t convince you to let this go?”

Virgil shook his head.

Remus kicked at the ground in front of him.  “He leaves his room to see Thomas, doesn’t he?  Get Tommy-boy’s permission to hide and have him summon Janus to talk, then grab him and sink him out to your room.  Lock the door so you can talk to him for as long as you need.”

Virgil considered that for a moment.  “That’s… not a bad idea, Re.  Thanks.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

Virgil looked hesitantly at Remus.  “You’re really going to go on hating him for the rest of your life?”

“You said you were going to respect my choice!”

“I’m not trying to stop you, Re.  It just sounds exhausting.”

“I’m not exhausted.  I’m angry.  I’m fucking pissed as all hell.”

“That sounds exhausting too.”

“So does being scared all the time.”

Virgil considered this.  “Touché.”

“He is not going to be able to make this up to me,” Remus said.  “There’s nothing he can do.  The best option for him is to stay the hell out of my way for the rest of time.”

Virgil nodded.  “Okay.”

“How the hell did he make it up to you?”

Virgil considered this.  “I… don’t know,” he admitted.  “Maybe he hasn’t yet.”

“But you want to help him anyway?”

Virgil bit his lip, trying to think of a good way to explain it.  “Would you want to help Roman if you knew he was hurting this bad?” he asked.  “Even if you hated him?”

Remus thought about that for a moment.  “So your anger doesn’t override your care,” he said.

Virgil nodded.  “Yeah.”

“Mine does.  I don’t get why yours doesn’t.”

“That’s okay.”

Remus sighed, though it sounded closer to a laugh at the end.  “I think we’re gonna have this conversation again, Virgil.”

Virgil smiled.  “We might never stop having this conversation.”

“You good with that?”

“As long as you are.”

Remus nodded.  “Okay.  I am.”

“I am too,” Virgil said.

Remus didn’t seem satisfied with that answer, instead starting to fidget with his hands.

“What?”

“I… I don’t know.  I really don’t understand your perspective, Virgil.”

“I don’t really understand yours either, Re,” Virgil said quietly.

“Really?”

“You don’t see yourself ever forgiving him?  Years have passed, we’ve progressed to a point where we’re doing good, like really good, and you still hate Janus?”

“Yes.”

Virgil looked away.  “Okay.”

They were both quiet for a long pause.

Remus walked over and sat down on his bed.  “I don’t want to start fighting about this.”

Virgil blinked at him.  “We’re not fighting.”

“We’re disagreeing.  On something that really really matters to both of us.”

“That does not have to lead to fighting.”

Remus crossed his arms and sniffed.  “I don’t want to lose you.”

“You are not going to lose me,” Virgil said, walking over.  “Re.  Look at me.”

Remus looked up at him.

“It’s going to be okay.  I— yeah, I don’t really understand, but I’m not going to get angry at you because of it.  I can not understand your opinion and still think it’s valid.”

Remus wrapped his arms around himself.  “Are you sure?”

“Do you think I’m being unreasonable or that my decision isn’t okay?”

“No.”

“Well, there you go.”

“But what if that changes?”

“That’s up to us, Re.  We get to pick whether or not we start fighting.  We just need to make sure to keep communicating.”

“Historically, not a strong suit of Thomas’ sides.”

“Well I care about you enough to keep trying.”

Remus was silent for a second.  Then he took a breath.  “Okay.”

“Yeah?”

Remus nodded.  “Yeah.”

Virgil sighed.  “Okay.”  He sat down on the bed next to Remus and wrapped his arms around him.  Remus leaned into him, and they both sat there together.

“I love you,” Virgil murmured.  “You’re always going to be more important to me than our disagreements.”

“You are too,” Remus said back.  “And I love you too.”

And that was enough for right now.

…

“Do you think this is gonna work?” Thomas said hesitantly.

“I don’t know,” Virgil said.  “But you haven’t been able to convince him, and he doesn’t seem to be talking to anyone else.”

“Yeah no, I want him to stop being stubborn,” Thomas said, rubbing the back of his neck.  “He’s just… being really stubborn.”

Virgil smiled a little.  “That’s Janus for you.”

Thomas laughed a little.  “If you think you can do it, give it a shot,” he said.

Virgil bit his lip, stuffing down the nerves and pressure that came with that.  He wasn’t sure if he could do it.  He wasn’t sure he could grab Janus fast enough, or hang on long enough, or say the right thing to get him to hear him out.

But Janus clearly wasn’t going to listen if they did something reasonable.

So, Virgil got behind the couch, and Thomas set himself up to make it look like he was working.  He started typing on the script he and Roman and Remus were working up, then waved his hand casually like summoning Janus was a spur of the moment thing.

He rose up in front of Thomas, and Virgil blinked in surprise from his spot hidden behind the couch.  Janus… did not look very good.  His clothes were rumpled, his hair was unkempt, the bandages were clearly visible under his shirt where he’d been stabbed, and the circles under his eyes rivaled Virgil’s eyeshadow.  He hadn’t looked that bad when Virgil saw him last— though granted, that had been only for a couple seconds immediately after waking up exhausted, while heavily focused on Remus.

“What do you need, Thomas?” Janus asked, as Virgil crept up behind him.

“Huh?  Oh, nothing,” Thomas said with a casual shrug, turning back to his script.  “I’m just the distraction here to wish you both good luck.”

“What?”

“You’re coming with me!” Virgil snapped, grabbing Janus by the arm and sinking them both out to his room, locking the door firmly after them both.  He moved over to lean against his desk as Janus processed what had happened.

“What— oh real mature, Virgil,” Janus snapped, turning to glare at him.  There was a pause where he was clearly trying to leave, and Janus’ gaze soured.  “Virgil, let me out.”

“Nope.”

“Virgil!”

“We need to talk.”

“Why would you want to?” Janus asked, looking up at the ceiling and squeezing his eyes shut.  “I was trying to give you space, Virgil.”

“You’ve done plenty of that already,” Virgil said, crossing his arms.

Janus flinched, and Virgil stood and watched as several emotions flashed across his face at once.  Finally, the fight drained out of him, and he sighed and slumped his shoulders.  He turned to face Virgil, moving to the space across from him like he was preparing for an interrogation.  “Alright.  What do you want, Virgil?”

Virgil took a moment to stare at him and be a little weirded out, and then he shook himself.  “Everyone’s telling me that you won’t talk to them.”

“So?  Why do you care?”

“Because you’re not coming out of your room and if they’re not going in either that means you’re avoiding everyone, Janus.  Plus you really look like shit.”

Janus gave him a look.  “Why thank you, Virgil.”

“Why are you avoiding everyone?”

“Why are you all so insistent that I shouldn’t?  I wouldn’t think you’d want me around!”

“Well, I guess you wouldn’t know, since you’ve decided to make that decision for us.”

Janus sighed wearily, pressing his head into his hands.  “I don’t understand why you care.”

“Just because you’ve decided all of us should hate you doesn’t mean we’re going to, Janus.”

Janus gave him a disbelieving look.  Virgil gave him a very firm one right back.

Janus shook his head.  “I can’t do this today.  What do you want, Virgil?”

“Stop hiding in your room.  Your family is worried about you, Janus.  We’re all worried about you.”

“Well, worry about someone who deserves it, then,” Janus said, glaring away.

“Janus.  For fucks sake.”

“What?”

“Do you honestly think this is going to help matters?  And none of the bullshit about how everyone should want you to be alone and miserable.  Do you honestly, deep down, think this is going to help?”

“I don’t deal in honesty,” Janus snapped.

“Janus.”

Janus was quiet for a minute.

“How do you see this going?  You’re alone for the rest of your life?  You stay in your room quietly miserable because you refuse to try and atone for anything or let anyone work towards a place of moving on?  You do realize you’re preventing that, right?”

“You all seem to be moving on without me just fine,” Janus said.

“Yeah, for now.”

“How do you know that isn’t going to last?”

“How do you know it is?  Wouldn’t it be better to do the one that we’re sure of, just in case?”

“I’ll just make things worse,” Janus said.  “And why are you so insistent that I don't deserve to suffer for everything I’ve done to you?  You and Remus both?”

Virgil crossed his arms.  “Because taking the coward’s way out is my job, Janus.”

Janus’ eyes snapped open in shock.

“Oh, did you not realize that’s what your doing?  That instead of coming out and trying to make up for everything you’ve done you’re hiding in your room where nothing can ever change, like a coward?  What you owe us is a chance to try and fix things.  Not hiding away where nothing will ever get better.”

Janus looked away and said nothing.

Virgil sighed.  “Janus,” he said.  “Do you remember the night you told me you were sorry you left?”

Janus nodded.

“That pissed me the fuck off.”

Janus winced and looked back at him.

“I was so goddamn mad.  I was so furious you thought you could make up for everything you’d done with ‘I’m sorry it was necessary.’  But that’s what you said.  And I had to get you to like me enough so you’d let Remus stay here, so I told you I forgave you.  I was lying.”

Janus looked down.  “Well, that’s fair,” he murmured.

“I’m not lying this time.”

Janus looked up again.  “What?”

Virgil took a breath.  “I forgive you, Janus.”

Janus stared at him.  “Wh— why?”

Virgil didn’t have the first clue how to start explaining.  Because he cared.  Because Janus had told him he’d never stopped missing him and Remus.  Because he’d convinced Roman and Logan to take a break and because he’d done Patton’s chores and made sure Thomas was as alright as he could be when everything was falling apart.  Because he’d told Remus that Malice using his idea wasn’t his fault.  Because he was such a goddamn wreck right now.

In the end, Virgil shrugged.  “Because you’re sorry.”

“I… but I didn’t…”

“Are you going to give yourself a list of things you have to do before I can forgive you?  Because in the end that’s up to me, Janus.”

“I…” Janus looked so completely lost that Virgil almost felt bad for him.  Finally he shut his eyes again, presumably to try and hide the tears that Virgil could see anyway.

“I’m sorry, Virgil,” Janus whispered.

“I know.  I forgive you,” Virgil said again.

Janus shook his head, opening his eyes that still looked just as lost.

“That is until holding this over you until the end of time starts becoming necessary to win arguments.”

Janus laughed, a couple tears slipping free as he did so.  He pressed his hands to his face and wiped his eyes.  Doing so raised his arms up enough that Virgil could see the bandages on his shoulder.

“Hey,” Virgil said.  “Come here.”

“What?” Janus asked, looking back at him.

“Come to the bathroom with me.  I’m gonna fix your bandages.  They look like they were wrapped by a toddler.”

“I— hey.  I’ve never done this before.”

“I have.  So come here.”

Janus winced but followed Virgil towards the bathroom.  Virgil pulled his first aid kit out from under his sink as Janus took his cape and shirt off and set them on the counter.

Virgil unwrapped the bandages and threw them in the trash can, then took a minute to observe the wound.

“It’s healing really well,” he said, grabbing a washcloth to clean it with.  “Does it hurt anymore?”

Janus shook his head.

“Good, it shouldn’t,” Virgil said, starting to dab with the cloth.  “It’ll definitely leave a scar.  Most scars do go away if you die, but that’s not really a good idea when you’re the only side keeping the barrier in place.”

“I can live with a scar on my shoulder, Virgil.”

Virgil nodded in acknowledgement and started wrapping the wound again.

“What do you mean by most scars?”

Virgil winced.

“Virgil?”

Virgil sighed and got the gauze tape.  “Well, if you get hurt when you’re recovering from death, the injuries don’t really heal right,” he muttered.  “Get hurt badly enough, and it could be permanent.  Remus and I both have some scars that aren’t ever going away, even if we die again.”

He could feel Janus tense under his hand, and he looked up at him.  “We hardly notice, Janus.  They don’t hurt anymore.  Remus insists they make him look hot.”

Janus snorted.  Then he took a breath, and was quiet for a long moment.

“Virgil?”

Virgil finished taping the bandages down and stepped back, letting Janus grab his shirt and cape again.  “Yeah?”

“I— I don’t imagine this will mean much coming from me, but… you did my job very well, even if you shouldn’t have had to.  I’m very proud of you.”

Virgil stared at Janus for a minute, trying to come up with anything to say to that.  “I… uh— whatever.”

Janus smiled, just a little bit.  Virgil took a minute to try and adjust to that, which didn’t really work, and finally he shook himself back into the conversation at hand.

“So, are you going to come talk to everyone now?”

Janus tensed and dropped the cape he’d been about to wrap around his shoulders to his side.  “You really want to have to see me all the time?”

“Everyone wants to see you.  We’re all worried.  Well, except Remus, but you know.”

Janus laughed a little bitterly.

“Come talk to your family with me.”

Janus stiffened.  “They’re not—”

“Yes, they are.”

“Virgil.”

“Janus.”

Janus crossed his arms and said nothing for a very long moment.

“Janus,” Virgil said quietly.  “They’re worried about you.  Please let them help you.”

“Why should I?”

“Because it’s not fair to ask me to do it.  But I’m also stubborn enough that you know you can’t stop me if someone else isn’t helping you.”

Janus glared at him, but Virgil could tell he knew he was right.

Finally, Janus sighed.  “Okay,” he muttered.

“Really?”

“Yes,” Janus said, lifting his cape so he could wrap it around his shoulders.  “When are we doing this?”

“Now.”

“Now?”

“Yep.  Or well… you should get cleaned up first.  I’ll meet you in the commons in fifteen minutes.”

Janus looked like he was regretting all of his life choices up until that point, but he sighed and nodded.

So Janus finally sank out and Virgil put the components of his first aid kit away.  Then he headed back into his room and took a moment to breathe.  Then he sank out to Remus’ room.

Remus was sitting on his bed, thankfully, and glanced up at Virgil when he appeared.

“How’d it go?”

“Good.  Squish me,” Virgil said, and he walked over and flopped down on top of Remus, who instantly pulled him close and squeezed, and Virgil took a moment to sigh in relief.

…

Patton, Logan, and Roman were all in the living room talking with Logan about the research he wanted to do for the next video.  Logan had finally explained to them that he liked it when they did that, so Patton and Roman had both started making an effort to do so.  All three of them stopped immediately when they noticed Virgil walked in with Janus, though.

Janus was standing stiff as a board, clearly uncomfortable, but he was here, and that was the important part.

There were a few moments of silence when everyone just stared at each other, and finally, Janus stepped forward.

“I—” he said weakly.  “I’m sorry I—”

“JANUS!” everyone screamed at once.  Janus was immediately afterwards tackled by both Roman and Patton, who dragged him back over to the couch where Logan joined in the hug in a much less tackle-y way, but seeming no less desperate or relieved.

Virgil gave one more relieved sigh and left them to talk.  He had a hug pile of his own to get back to.

…

Chapter Forty-Three

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #remus sanders #janus sanders #thomas sanders #platonic dukexiety #platonic thvi #platonic anxceit #my fic

[spicycreativity]

Blanket for the fluff snippet thing for moceit possibly?

HeheheHEHEHE

We once again return to the "night meeting after PoF" scenario that Spicy believes in religiously

Bonus: worked an actual blanket into the fill

—

Patton's breath billowed out in great, rolling waves like smoke from a dragon's maw. He supposed it made sense, after all the destruction he'd wrought. Everything lay in shambles all around him and he had no one to blame but himself.

The effects of his room rendered his thoughts syrupy, saccharine, pointed firmly backwards. The memories of better days rang hollow in his heart and only deepened the ache. He would find no comfort in memories tonight.

Slipping on his cardigan, he ventured into the hall with his socks on. The cold was obviously Roman's doing, as was the sickly, desaturated tint of the subconscious' walls and carpet. Roman's door had turned full gray, covered in chains and padlocks with no keyhole.

Patton didn't even have time to tear up before movement from the other end of the hall caught his eye. He turned his head and found Janus shivering not six feet away from him, face as open and honest as a child's. It vanished in an instant, gates slamming down. He'd already had his arms pulled tight across his chest, body rigid, but he relaxed a little now and leaned against the wall. "Nice weather we're h-having," he said. "I-isn..." He shivered, words catching behind his teeth. "Nnh... Isn't it?"

"Oh, Janus." In the frigid air, Patton's heart still found a way to melt. "Are you cold?"

"Of course not; it's positively balmy in here." Janus glared at him. "What are you doing, sleepwalking?"

"No," Patton said,"just..."

Janus' expression softened just a little. "Trying not to lose your mind?"

"Yeah."

They fell silent for a moment until Janus shuddered, his eyes slipping shut for a moment. He tugged his capelet tighter over his shoulders, shrinking into himself.

"Come with me," Patton blurted, suprising himself.

"Trust you?" Janus said drily. Patton only looked at him, studying the sadness in his human eye, the red rim and glassy sheen. "Oh, very well. But if you try anything, Remus has more than just a morningstar."

"It's not a trick, Janus," Patton said, leading him down the hall. "I would never trick you."

Janus fell into step beside him. "You couldn't," he muttered, rubbing his arms.

"Because you're—"

"A mad genius, yes."

"Deceit."

Janus looked at him sideways from under the brim of his hat. "Whichever you like," he said, and sniffed.

"You're funny," Patton said contemplatively, nearly tripping over the coffee table when the living room loomed, abruptly ending the vast hallway they'd been traversing. "Whoops!"

Janus squinted at him, watching him regain his balance. "So are you."

"Touché, I guess," Patton said, motioning for Janus to sit down on the couch. "Let's see..." He got down on his knees in front of the coffee table, pawing through the wicker baskets resting beneath it. "We should have one for everybody... there!" He emerged holding two throw blankets: one yellow, one true blue. "Get cozy, okay?" He set them in Janus' lap.

Janus' brow furrow, irises darting as he searched the room. "What are you doing?"

"...Making sure you're warm?" Patton tilted his head like a confused dog. "I'm sorry, should I not have? You just looked so cold, and I thought..."

"No, it's—" Janus looked at the yellow blanket, turning it over in his gloved hands. On the far corner, Patton had imagined a snake, hand stitched, with two heads. Janus' logo rendered with all the love and care in Thomas' heart. He took a deep breath. "You are not what I thought you were, Patton."

"Is that good or bad?" Patton asked hesitantly. When Janus failed to answer, he bounced on his toes. "Anyway, I was gonna make some hot chocolate. How's that sound?"

Janus finally looked up at him again, finally relaxed and let himself smile. "Absolutely terrible."

And Patton, after a moment's hesitation, smiled back.

#spicywrites #spicyanswer #you know when something awful happens to you and all you want to do is smile because if youre smiling then youre not crying #it's like that #god i love these idiotssss #sanders sides #moceit #i want them to KISS #it's been a while since ive re-watched the series so hopefully i didnt fuck anytbing up too badly!!

[not-sure-what-im-feeling]

Song Analysation in Terms of Blorbos

Yeah so a friend and I have a blorbo playlist, and Metaphor by The Crane Wives is on it, so naturally I put it in terms of Sanders Sides. It's angsty and of a good song, so it's everything I love. The characters lines correspond to are Janus and Virgil, with the lines colour-coded respectively. Feel free to use this as inspiration for an animatic or something!

I've gotten good at leaning on metaphors

Janus uses his lies as a sort of crutch, being able to hide his true intent and try to get his way.

I've gotten good at living on someone else's page

Janus is used to working around Patton's agenda after all... Isn't Patton the one in charge anyway?

I cut my teeth on second-hand sentiments

He gives out false compliments in his efforts to gain the others' trust. You saw it in action with Roman, after all.

You can't trust a single thing I say

No one trusts him (especially not Virgil), and he knows it. Janus understands that everything he says will be taken by the others as fiction, another lie he's told.

I keep my closet free of skeletons

Virgil doesn't want to be a liar, and does not want to associate with Janus.

'Cause I'm much better at digging graves

Who needs to lie when you can bury the truth? All you need to do is kill it and forget it. Maybe no one needs to find out. Maybe no one will find out.

But I always dig up bones of your sympathy

Oh, Janus’s sympathy was so lovely, but wasn’t it always a little hollow? Ah well, it’s all in the past now, and maybe what Virgil was trying to bury and kill was his closeness with Janus.

I can't trust a single thing you say

Poor poor Virgil, so distrustful and wary, unable to take a single thing Janus says as anything true.

Don't look too hard, 'cause you won't like the scars he left in me

Well, I’m just a sucker Patton being the reason Janus has that snake face of his. I might make a post about it later.

I've gotten good at making up metaphors

Janus is so terribly wonderful with weaving his webs of lies, so falsely beautiful.

I've gotten good at stretching the truth out of shape

Well, you have to give him some credit. Not everything he says is a lie, after all. Sometimes it’s a half truth, or a warped version of it, and — if you’re lucky — it might be the full truth.

And all these words are sweet and meaningless

All of the lovely things he says mean nothing, or everything. But aren’t those two the same thing?

You can't trust a single thing I say

And it brings us right around. You can’t actually know if anything he says is true — it’s not like he’s given you any reason to.

#janus sanders #virgil sanders #sanders sides #the crane wives #sanders sides angst #anxceit

[beauty-and-passion]

FSS3: an update

Hey,

Two days ago, I finished the first draft for FSS3, a fanwriting of Sanders Season 3 (season 2 finale included) that I am doing thanks to the sweet contributions/ideas/prompts given by the people of this fandom.

When two days ago I was writing the final episode that would end Sanders Sides, I realized that 

it was boring

I was not satisfied by it

it was not what I planned

not all concepts seemed to be developed well

There was one possible solution only: to check everything again.

Some of you might think this is useless, because I already planned everything in advance, right? Well, when you write, stuff tends to be added or to change. Also, when you plan in advance, everything seems very smooth. But once you have the final result of your planning, things might be different. Still, it’s better to have it, because it makes it easier to go back from the start and check if everything really is as smooth as planned.

And so, here’s how I checked it.

Those are all the main concepts/plots I developed in each episode. I needed this to check

if all plots were developed during the season

if there weren’t too many temporal gaps

If they have been all wrapped up

But since this wasn’t enough, I also put the main ones into another graph

This gave me a better vision of how the themes have been developed and also how Character!Thomas should be developed.

And if you see these post-its, they all have a title. The title of a song of Character!Thomas’ playlists. After all, his playlist follows his character arc, so why not using it as a base to see if/how I followed his arc correctly?

And speaking of characters, I couldn’t leave behind the real main ones:

Here I wrote down what they did for each episode, then added the song titles. In this case, the songs don’t just help me see if I followed their arc, but act as a reminder of how I should write the Sides and focus on their personalities.

This also made me realize the dark boys never had a chance to talk about society, which is of course a huge oversight because they clearly love doing it every time they can.

And once I noticed this, I also realized what was sitting wrong with me: it was Roman’s character arc. Only by adding his songs, I realized that after the season 2 finale, I reverted his arc and made him full of doubts again. It could’ve worked if season 2 finale was one episode, but since we’re talking about 4 parts, Roman should start season 3 with a better understanding of himself.

Once I corrected this point, Thomas’ arc improved as well and I was ableto take away one prompt that was more of a nuisance, rather than something useful.

And so, I planned season 2 finale again. Now Roman goes through a real arc, Patton is not in the back anymore and I have a chance to show Janus’ character better: this guy is useful, but he should be used well, otherwise he will end up being just a way to make jokes.

Now you may ask: why are you telling us all of this? The reason is that I learned some stuff that I want to share - and that I hope it could be useful for people who wants to write/plan to write anything.

First of all, this second check after the first draft confirmed me the importance of planning/putting down a whole project in advance, before submitting it to the public. Just imagine if I started posting stuff, without writing the end: I would’ve reached the last episode and realized that the beginning didn’t work. Then what? Take everything down and start again? All while people already read the first bad stuff I gave them? I would’ve lost credibility and people would’ve wasted their time.

Also, some episodes I planned are very good and I love them, so I would’ve hated to reveal them mixed with the bad stuff.

It also made me question, once again, how can Mr. Sanders think that writing a couple episodes at the time will help him properly wrap up the series. Sanders Sides currently has so many threads and plot points to explore, it’s impossible to properly wrap them up by planning just a couple episodes at the time. Even by planning the entire series in advance as I did, I realized there were a couple things I forgot! How can he not entirely forget/dismiss huge themes and concepts, if he doesn’t write the whole thing at once?

Last but not least, this served me as a reminder of how fun writing is. Planning the season 2 finale again made me happy, I loved the better focus I gave on Roman and Janus. And I can’t wait to replan/rewrite Roman during season 3.

Speaking of that: as you can see from my graphs, I planned 24 episodes. And I like that number, but I also realized some episodes are very short and they can be put together into one. Also, Roman’s rewrite will probably lead to less episodes in the first part.

So... well, I might end up wrapping all of this in less episodes than planned. Which is better, in a way, because it follows the trend of the first two seasons being less than 20 episodes.

In any case, I will keep you all updated.

Bye for now and I hope you are all having a great summer <3

#sanders sides #blog update #fss3 #thomas sanders #this project helps a lot #I am learning good stuff #and having fun #I hope you will enjoy it too once it will be finished #no problem in giving you some spoilers now #I am going to change some things anyway #so it's okay #also good luck deciphering my writing and the language mix

[djs-horny-blog-lmao]

i think ive decided fr actually. good lord you guys better appreciate this bc i dont know if i ever intended to think this intensely about this au....

and sorry if u dont like it but it's my au <3

heroes

Patton Foster (alias: Guardian. Just a normal guy who trained super hard, has a handful of cool tech and a mask. He's basically Batman. - Costume is probably mostly shades of dark grey / light grey and pale blue highlights - has a cowl)

Roman Valdez (alias: Hurricane. He's basially Superman, was an alien baby who crashlanded on earth. - Costume is white with a red? gold? H on his chest, red cape, red boots and gloves. probably not masked Or has a little over-the-eyes Green Lantern/Mr Incredible style mask. Probably built like Mr Incredible too)

Remus Valdez (alias: Maelstrom. He's basically Aquaman. Also not human - half-Atlantean (im gonna steal this i can do what I like). Raised on the surface. Can control water and sea life, can talk to fish, LOVES octopi/tentacle motif above all else. - Costume: probably yknow super green black and silver, probably has that scale-like skintight chest piece and maybe some armour motifs (bc Atlantis) Face is not covered)

Side note: i think Roman And Remus were found by like. a lighthouse keeper. who went oh boy!!! free sons!!! and raised them as brothers. They fully consider each other brothers. they grew up together and hero together, probs dont live together currently tho.

also i came up with the names separately but it means they both named themselves after weather phenomena and that is twin behaviour godbless

the three of them have something like a justice league together - it probably has Other Heroes in it part time too but. waves hand. background characters. They have an HQ. Somewhere.

villains

Janus [Surname Pending] (alias: Siren. A magician-cross-catburlgar... he's like... Catwoman if she had Zatanna's powers and aesthetics. Magic is real and he has it. And uses it for. Well. Everything. Morally grey rogue rather than evil villain. He's still super fucking with Guardian. - Costume: face half-scaled (genuinely from a magic curse) the other half masked phantom of the opera style. wears like... a magician's get up crossed his canon outfit but with bootyshorts and fishnets)

Logan Sanders (alias: [pending]. He's not really evil, or, not if you ask him. But he does think having these so called super-'heroes' running around without a contingency plan is... irresponsible. In private he is building a mech suit capable of taking down Hurricane Should He Need Taking Down. Has strong morals <- not good morals, just strong morals. Sometimes funds smaller villains/rogues for ,,,reasons. Patton is his secretary but they dont know the other is hero/villain (a shame, if they were on the same side, they'd get along very well) - Costume: well. it's a mech-suit, bulkier / more armoured than, say Iron Man, but not,, like,,, ten feet tall. all cold steel, maybe burnished black in parts, and i can see it having a visor with electronic eyes that can be Logan's signature blue.

Virgil (Surname Pending) (alias: [also pending] <- probably storm Or shadow related. He's the most nebulous to me right now but tbh i can see a semi-harley quinn backstory where he was tangled up with a gangleader who won him over into a life of crime but he's not that happy (i.e., open to...persuasion) with it. Don't know if he should have powers or not... - Costume: blacks, purples w/ hints of yellow. Hood covers hair and eyes and mask covers lower face. dresses in layers typical of like... a medieval assassin (he's not an assassin) (he's probably killed people before tho)

Virgil and Janus have probably crossed paths before as their rogue aliases. Janus has met Logan (under a fake name). it's possible Logan (in costume, under alias) has worked with Virgil/Virgil's boss before. Generally, esp now Virgil's striking out a little more on his own, Virgil and Janus are kinda too low on Logan's radar for him to seek them out so far. (Janus likes it like that) (tbh so does Virgil)

#dj monologues #dj writes #nsfs superhero au #@.@ i think that's enough for now... it's midnight and im tipsy

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Prince’s Protected

Prompt: Hello, not sure if you got my other ask stattingbthis while ago or not, and if you did feel free to ignore this but I love all your superhero au come now, little prince and for a prompt idea if your interested I thought of all the charters interacting with eachother bc in all your chapters you lead up to other superheros living with janus but we never got to see how they interact in a domestic setting like that. Hope you are having a good day - anon

Read on Ao3

Warnings: past trauma alluded to, stabbings

Pairings: roceit and dukeceit are the most obvious

Word Count: 4519

Janus should have anticipated that the first thing he would need to address when adopting several traumatized little heroes was ensuring they knew they had the right to food.

 Janus should have anticipated that the first thing he would need to address when adopting several traumatized little heroes was ensuring they knew they had the right to food.

Did he ever expect to have to do this? No, not in the slightest, but then a pesky little prince ended up bloodied and on his knees outside his door one night, and, well…here they are.

That being said, it was difficult to fathom that he had simply walked into the kitchen downstairs one morning and found one of them dropping a bag of stale cereal like it was some precious gem he'd been caught stealing.

"Shh, little hero," Janus says quickly, holding his hands up in what he hopes is a placating manner, "it's alright. I'm not going to hurt you. You're safe, little hero, it's okay."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to steal, I promise, I just—"

"Hush, little hero." He hazards a step closer and hisses softly when the little hero drops to his knees. "Don't do that, little one, it's alright. Take a deep breath."

He sighs when the little hero peers up at him, eyes wide with tears.

"Hello," he murmurs, sinking to a crouch too, "there you are. Remind me of your name, little hero?"

"P-Patton."

"Patton," he says, trying to soften his voice around the name, "hello, Patton. Are you hungry?"

Patton nods.

"Alright. I think we've got something better in this kitchen than stale cereal, hm? Can I stand up and come over to you?"

It takes a tad longer than Janus's knees would like for Patton to nod, but he does, he does, and Janus smiles, standing up and crossing over to crouch in front of him.

"Hello, Patton," he murmurs, "thank you for letting me come over. What do you like to eat?"

Patton eyes him warily. Janus has a sudden memory of Roman's reaction when he'd told him he can't eat apples off the core, he has to cut them up, and soothes the part of him that wants to kill the Cyrus Corporation all over again. He takes a deep breath.

"Well, I'm in the mood for a sandwich. Would you like one too?"

"Yes, sir, thank you, sir."

"There's no need for all of that, little hero. If you're hungry, you should eat."

He's met with another suspicious stare and he forces himself to get up, to go to the cupboards and get the ingredients to make a sandwich. He leaves too many of them out on the counter for Patton to pick through, patiently assembling one sandwich and setting it on a plate before feigning a yawn.

"Forgive me, little hero," he mumbles, rubbing at his eyes, "could you make your own sandwich?"

"Yes, sir."

"Mm." Janus picks up his plate and carries it to the other end of the kitchen, sitting on a stool and taking a bite from his sandwich.

There is a strange juxtaposition to how Patton makes his sandwich. He moves as quickly and efficiently as any trained chef—better than some of them, if Janus is to be honest, perhaps if the little hero shows a passion for cooking, he can work in one of the restaurants around here—but he has the same exuberance and wonder as a child as he carefully picks ingredients that he seems to like. Every now and then he'll look up at Janus for reassurance that it's okay, that he's doing okay, and every time Janus just nods.

When he's assembled his sandwich, he just stares at it.

"I doubt it's going to taste very good unless you try it," Janus encourages, watching as Patton slowly takes a bite. "Good?"

He nods.

"Good."

They eat their sandwiches in the half-dark of the kitchen. When they're finished, Patton slowly looks up and bows his head. "Thank you."

"I meant what I said, little hero," Janus murmurs, "if you're hungry, eat. This food in the kitchen is for you."

He's not sure, that night, if Patton believes him, but the next time he goes to that kitchen, there's a sandwich waiting for him.

2.

Stormcloud is…challenging.

The little hero is a feral cat, swiping at anyone who gets too close and baring his teeth at Janus when he thinks he can get away with it. This on its own would not be a problem—many of the...less than enthusiastic members of Janus's network start out much the same way. He is used to dealing with the swipes and claws from pesky kits.

What he isn't used to is that this is the little prince's protected. This is not someone who will become a tool of his—not like that, not ever, not if he has anything to say about it—and so he cannot simply break him. If Stormcloud hasn't broken under Cyrus, Janus won't be the one to do it.

So he must be careful.

There are a few things that Stormcloud hoardes. A soft black hoodie, left in the wash by accident with the rest of the clothes given to him that the kit curls around to sleep. There's a single purple button that fell off of…something, probably, and he's never seen anyone pounce quite like Stormcloud did when he found it. Dignity seems to be the last thing on his mind as he scrambles and scrabbles for things that are his, and part of Janus respects that.

The other part of him is still seething that this child feels the need to defend what is his with such ferocity.

So he finds the things that Stormcloud likes and allows it.

The hoodie is never taken from him, never touched, never disturbed. He doesn't have it taken when it comes time to do laundry, doesn't dare let anyone so much as approach it. He gets sloppier, leaving more and more items of clothing in the wash to see what Stormcloud will take. Another hoodie, a purple t-shirt, and one little scrap of red on the end of a white t-shirt that Janus accidentally ripped. One night, he actually catches Stormcloud holding it like a comfort teddy.

He makes sure Stormcloud sees Roman the next day.

Slowly, slowly. Trust is not a quick-time event, of course, and so he lets Stormcloud decide when and how he's going to extend it.

Then, almost right after Roman spent the night with him, Stormcloud starts to follow him.

Only ever in the communal areas with easy escape routes, and only when Janus is most decidedly alone, save for one of the others, but a dark shadow begins to lurk in the corners of the room, just out of Janus's direct line of sight.

The snake hisses, curling into a chair and letting the kit prowl around, scoping him out. It's oddly endearing in a bizarre sort of way, watching Stormcloud creep closer and closer, lingering just out of reach, but very much there. He smiles to himself when he catches him perched on top of the fridge one evening. Acrobatic little kit, aren't we?

Then again, he shouldn't be surprised. Trying to pin down Stormcloud in the field was like, well, like trying to catch a cloud. Sneaky little kit.

It comes to a head one night when Janus spots a dark blob of fabric left on the floor in one of the big sitting areas next to a window. He pauses, setting his teacup on the counter and walking over to it.

It's the hoodie. The hoodie.

He knows if he looks around, he won't see Stormcloud. But he must be here. There's no way the kit would abandon such precious cargo. No, this is a test. A test to see what he'll do.

Janus simply returns to the counter, picks up his tea, and crosses to his favorite armchair, staring out of the windows and putting his back deliberately to the hoodie.

After a few seconds, there's the softest thud of someone landing on the floor. He averts his gaze from the reflection and busies himself with swirling his tea around his cup. Ears straining, he just manages to pick up the faint noises of rustling fabric, padding footsteps, and the creak of a floorboard. He holds his breath until he hears the door shut and sags into the chair, tipping his head back.

Who knew wayward heroes could be so much work?

He would be lying, however, if he said he wasn't the slightest bit pleased with the next time he spoke to Stormcloud and the little hero mumbled: my name's Virgil.

3.

If this were a different world, Janus thinks as he watches Logic work, you and I would be very, very good friends.

'Friends' is perhaps the wrong word to use, but the message is the same. Logic's efficiency and intelligence are an unmistakable asset and the more calculating parts of Janus can't help but marvel at just how much the little hero can do. He leans back in the chair, his cane tapping idly against his side, watching as Logic finishes yet another test that most of his senior analysts can't accomplish alone, looking up and adjusting his glasses.

"Finished?"

"I believe so, yes."

Janus hums and holds out his hand, letting Logic come over and pass it to him. He flicks his gaze over it and sure enough, there's barely an error to be found. "Extraordinary."

"I'm pleased to be of use."

Ah, yes, the root of the issue. For much like the Stormcloud, this is not one of the initiates, someone to be trained and made into an effective gear in the Serpent's machine. This is Logic, one of the little prince's protected, and so Janus must be careful.

"You know," he says softly, indicating for Logic to take a seat, "you needn't prove yourself to me."

"I'm afraid I don't understand."

"I'm hardly going to toss you aside if you can't perform to a certain standard, my dear. You're not in competition with anyone for a spot."

Logic's hand twitches. "I understand. I am grateful to no longer be with the Cyrus Corporation."

Janus sighs. "You are a clever one, aren't you?"

"Thank you."

"That wasn't necessarily a compliment, dear. Shh," he says, holding up a hand, "let me talk for a moment, alright?"

"Of course."

"You are very careful with how you speak to me. You are clever enough to know that you must do so in order to avoid being punished or falling into the traps I may set for you. Each sentence you say has been calculated so that you do not lie outright, but you do not speak with complete honesty."

Logic simply blinks. Janus chuckles.

"Relax, my dear, I say that as someone who does the same."

Finally. The smallest of cracks in Logic's facade. "You do?"

"Oh, yes. I'm sure Roman could tell you."

"He did say you were…good at talking."

"A high compliment coming from him, I'm sure."

Logic's mouth twitches. "Of course."

Janus shakes his head, tapping his fingers on the arm of his chair. "Dear, I know you won't believe me, but you don't have to be so careful."

"You are correct."

"That you do not believe me?"

"I didn't say that."

Janus spreads his hands. "Quod erat demonstrandum."

Logic shifts in the chair, his gaze averting. His hands twitch and fidget in his lap. Janus simply waits. After a long moment, Logic looks up again. "What is it that you want from us?"

"Hm?"

"You are keeping us," Logic says bluntly, "it would be logical to presume you are doing so for a reason."

Janus hums again, sitting forward in the chair. "And how will you know that I'm not lying to you?"

"I won't."

"Then I could say anything?"

"I will weigh the balance of probability."

He chuckles. "As you wish. Then, I shall provide you with three explanations and you may determine what you like from them. Is this satisfactory?"

"Yes."

"Very well. Perhaps I am keeping you because you were large threats to my organization and I need to keep an eye on you."

Logic nods.

"Or, perhaps I wish to demonstrate my power to other would-be heroes and secure your talents for my own use. I would be a fool to give up such assets lightly."

Another nod, smaller this time.

"Or," he says, trying not to make his voice soften too obviously, "perhaps you are the little prince's protected, and thus you are as important to me as this cane."

Logic's eyes widen and his breath catches. Janus lets him look his fill, gather whatever information he would like, before he stands up and bids him good day.

The next time they meet, Logic is poring over a book on astrophysics and Janus finds he has a sudden interest in exoplanets.

4.

He supposes it's not the best thing in the world that he plays favorites, but very few people have ever had the audacity to accuse Janus of being concerned with such things.

"Sweetie," he murmurs as Roman stirs from the sleepy little pile of blankets atop the bed, "sweetie, it's alright. It's only me, little prince."

Roman blinks up at him, eyes still wet with tears, reaching up for him. Janus lets him, wrapping his arms about him too and sinking back down to the bed. He nuzzles shamelessly into the little prince's hair and coos as Roman does the same.

"Oh, sweetie, it's alright. I'm right here. You've got me, see?"

Roman's arms are still sleep-slack and clumsy, trying to get Janus closer, closer, even closer. A little whine comes from the crook of Janus's neck and he hums.

"You're alright, my prince, you're alright. You're safe, you're safe with me, sweetie. Everything's going to be alright. Nothing can touch you now."

"J-Jan—Janus—"

"Shh, shh, my sweetie," he murmurs, "my sweet prince, my little prince…"

He murmurs more sweet nonsense into Roman's ears as they lie there on the bed, the snake curling around the little prince and hissing that he's safe, he's safe, of course he's safe, there's nowhere safer he could be. He presses gentle kisses to the little prince's forehead, his nose, and his cheeks.

Mine. Mine. Mine.

After a while, the little prince sags against his chest and Janus hums, carding a hand through his hair and kissing his cheek once more. "Hi, sweetie."

"Hi."

"Water?"

"Mm."

Janus extricates himself reluctantly to fetch a glass of water, setting it on the nightstand and helping Roman sit up. "Slowly, now."

"I know."

Janus chuckles and kisses his forehead as Roman drinks about half the glass. He leans against him and just breathes for a moment, his soft pants filling the room. Janus hums again, letting himself soak up Roman's presence shamelessly, enjoying the warmth.

"You are a serpent," Roman mumbles after a while as Janus runs his hands up and down his back, "you're stealing all my body heat."

"You're simply so warm, sweetie, can you blame me?"

"Mmf."

Janus chuckles and takes the half-empty glass, setting it back on the nightstand. He lets out a shocked noise when Roman wraps his arms around him again. "Am I your cuddle toy?"

"Yes."

He scoffs, affronted, but only to make his little prince laugh. Secretly, he's thrilled that Roman is starting to become braver about asking for what he wants, about taking comfort in Janus and having him close. The part of him that still lives in that night when Roman almost bled out in his shower hisses in satisfaction.

I'll unmake you yet, my sweet, just you wait.

"Do you want to sleep a bit more, sweetie?"

He feels Roman nod against his back, mumbling sleepily.

"Alright, then, you're going to have to let me go."

"No."

"Sweetie, don't you want to cuddle? Let me—"

Roman curls around him tighter, face smushed against his shoulder.

"Sweetie."

"Just lie down. It's fine."

"You won't say that when you have to deal with all these buttons."

"Janus," Roman whines, "please?"

Damn you, little prince, for being so difficult to say no to.

"Oh, alright," Janus sighs, "but you're going to have to move a little."

He manages to turn around and shrug off the worst of the outermost layers, letting Roman clutch him close as he drags the covers back over him. He leans down and presses another kiss to his forehead.

"Go to sleep, my precious," he whispers, "I'll be right here when you wake up. I promise."

"Don't leave?"

"I won't, sweetie, I won't."

It is a heady thing, truly, to have the little prince fall so effortlessly back asleep in his arms, tucked safely against his chest. Janus lets himself smile into Roman's hair as he too drifts off to sleep.

Sweet dreams, little prince, I will keep you safe.

5.

He struggles through the door just in time as the security system flickers to life around him. He collapses onto the floor, groaning as the stab wound reopens. He holds a hand to it and grimaces, fumbling for his phone to call Remus, call the doctor, call anyone. He can't bleed out like this on the floor, how embarrassing.

Footsteps. He cranes his neck up and sees Roman staring at him.

For long seconds, neither of them moves.

Then Roman scrambles for his phone and barks something into it, rushing over and kneeling next to Janus's side, rolling him onto his back and pressing hard against the wound.

"Hold on," he says, voice firm and sure of himself in a way Janus has not heard in a very, very long time, "we'll get you sorted."

More footsteps and the other little heroes rush in, Patton and Logic immediately taking Roman's place as Virgil crouches by his head.

"Hey," he says, voice a softened growl, "just look at me, okay?"

"What—"

"Gauze, Logan."

"Got it."

"Hey," Virgil says again, "eyes here. Patton and Logan got you, they've patched up much worse than that before. Roman's calling Remus, you're gonna be okay. You just keep your eyes on me, yeah?"

"Am I a distraught civilian you're saving, now?"

"Civilian? Nah. Distraught? Nope." Virgil gives him a firm look. "But yeah, we're gonna save you."

Someone's hands shift on the wound and he hisses.

"You're doing great. It's okay, just try and keep breathing."

"I know what to do," Janus grumbles, "I've been stabbed before."

"But it's not like you build up an immunity to stab wounds, so just sit tight and let them do their job, yeah?"

It is surreal, Janus decides, and it might indeed be the blood loss, but at the same time…

"Just hang on," Virgil says again, reaching down and squeezing his hand, "you're gonna be okay. We're gonna make sure of it."

"Keep pressure there, Logan, I need to get the stuff."

"You got it."

"Roman, any word from Remus?"

"On his way, doctor en route too."

"Great. Janus, you just hang on, okay?"

…comforting. That's the word he's looking for. This is oddly comforting.

His last thought before he passes out is that he's glad his little heroes are here.

+1.

There are many stupid emotions that humans are capable of having. One of which is the private, repulsive rage at seeing someone get help for something you had to struggle through all on your own.

At first, Janus doesn't think anything of the fact that Remus is noticeably absent whenever he spends time with the little heroes. It's not as though he's suddenly free of his other responsibilities, of course, nor can he afford to make anyone think he's gone soft. The Serpent is still at work, after all, and Remus is a part of making sure that work happens.

But then he realizes that when Remus isn't there, it feels…odd.

For so many years, it was the two of them. Janus at the top, surveying all that is his, and Remus just over his shoulder, ready to enforce it. And while he never cared about Remus as he cares now for Roman, there was a camaraderie there that had never been present with anyone else who works for him. Remus was his, his tool, his right hand, his to use, and his to discard. Remus is his.

And he misses him.

He misses the Remus that texts mission reports with gory details and ridiculous emojis, though he'll kill you if you say it out loud. He misses the Remus that he could call when he'd had too much to drink. He misses the Remus that would just be there.

But Remus is different now.

He doesn't text his mission reports in with extra things anymore. And while that is what he's supposed to do, Janus starts to worry. He doesn't let quips and remarks free anymore, nothing for Janus to roll his eyes at and playfully scold him for. He's professional and efficient and the ideal blunt instrument and Janus misses him terribly.

So, one night, when the little heroes are safe and playing some ridiculous game, he takes a bottle of Remus's favorite whisky and goes to his apartment.

The door isn't as secured as Janus's own, but it takes a moment to disable everything and slip through. He's sure it's alerted Remus to his presence so he doesn't bother to disguise his approach, striding to the kitchen and setting the bottle on the counter, half expecting Remus to be there by the time he turns around.

But he isn't.

Perhaps Remus truly isn't home. He looks at his phone, expecting a text that reads something along the lines of if you're going to break in at least leave me something good or a crass remark that only Remus could get away with, but there's nothing.

"Remus?"

No response. Janus is about to use his phone for a very different reason when he hears something coming from the bedroom. He slips his phone into his pocket and approaches slowly, one hand out, the other on the gun tucked into his shoulder holster.

He pushes the door open slowly.

Remus is home. He's standing with his back to Janus, his head bowed, something in his hands. He lifts his head and wipes something from his face before he turns.

No.

No, no, no.

Remus is not supposed to be crying.

"Good evening, sir," the thing pretending to be Remus says, still hiding something behind his back, "how can I help?"

Janus lets the door close with a thud. He just stares.

"Sir?"

"That's not what you call me." Janus steps closer. "You call me 'Janus,' or 'Jan,' or 'J,' or anything else, but you do not call me 'sir.'"

He all but crowds Remus back against the wall. Remus lets him. He lets him, lets him do it silently and without any sort of suggestive joke.

"Where did you go," he whispers, breath fanning across Remus's cheeks, "where's my darling?"

Remus's lower lip trembles but he says nothing. Janus frowns, reaching up and cupping his face.

"Remus," he calls, "Remus."

"Sir."

Janus fights the urge to growl. "No, Remus, I don't want that. I want you. Now tell me what the hell's going on."

The hand behind his back twitches and Jansu reaches down, grasping the thing in Remus's hold and pulling it away. He holds it up.

It's a pocket knife.

It's the pocket knife that killed four senior men with a drunk boy staggering behind it.

He looks back at Remus. "Darling, talk to me."

"Don't call me that."

Remus's voice, suddenly cold and cruel, is enough to make him step back. "Why not?"

"Because I'm not."

"Not what? Not my darling?"

Remus's hands shudder and twitch. "No."

"And why not?"

Remus looks down, his gaze landing on the knife again. Something horrible and pained colors his expression before he fully bows his head, unwilling to let Janus see his face. Janus looks back at the knife too and runs his fingers over the end of it, almost caressing it with a tenderness he's not shown before. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Remus glance up and look at it, staring at it with…longing?

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, no.

"Oh, Remus," Janus whispers, tossing the knife onto the bed and reaching out to take his face in his hands again, "my stubborn, ridiculous, Remus…"

Remus flinches at the first touch of his hands but can't bring himself to pull away entirely, it seems. Janus leans in and touches their foreheads, pressing him into the wall.

"I've been cruel to you," he murmurs, "I have, haven't I? Showering your brother and the other heroes with time and attention and tenderness and you've been left to starve?"

Remus doesn't say anything, but his jaw wobbles.

"Mine," Janus whispers, pressing his mouth to Remus's temple, "mine, my feral little junkyard dog, all mine, my darling Remus."

The man in his hands lets out a broken noise at that, something Janus wants to swallow and keep and hoard away from the rest of the world. He settles for pressing Remus harder into the wall and kissing his hairline. Remus whimpers.

"My good boy," he keeps murmuring, "my darling, mine, mine. All mine, my Remus."

"J-Janus?"

"Yes, my darling?"

"What—what are you doing?"

He chuckles, kissing his cheek. "Isn't it obvious?"

"N-no." Remus's hands come to rest against his chest but he doesn't push him away. "You—you don't do this. Not to me."

"Perhaps I want to."

"No. No, you fawn over Roman and the heroes, not me."

"But do you wish I'd fawn over you too?"

"What does it matter what I want? When has it ever mattered what I want?" Now Remus does push him away, but not far. "I'm the person you—I'm the thing you use to get the job done. I'm not—I'm not—you don't—we don't—"

Janus cups the back of his head and draws him close again, foreheads pressed together. "Tell me what you want, Remus."

"I—I—"

"Tell me," he coaxes, "come now, darling, tell me what you want."

He lifts up Remus's chin and kisses his cheek.

"Just tell me."

"C-can I…"

"Can you…?"

Remus swallows. "Can I be special too?"

Janus will deny how he melts at that until the day he draws his last breath. "Oh, Remus, of course, you can."

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#dragonbabbles #sanders sides #fic #roman sanders #janus sanders #sympathetic deceit #deceit sanders #sympathetic remus #remus sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders

[i-am-bitterly-jittery]

If Love Is A Game, I’m Going To Win

Word count: 3652

Rating: gen

Pairings: Prinxiety, Logicality

Warnings: if you’re looking for some fluffy Prinxiety endgame this is not it my dudes, self-discovery, minor swearing, crying, angst

Aromantic!Roman agenda 💚💚🤍🩶🖤

~~~START~~~

It started on a normal day. Roman spent the morning writing ideas in his Hopes and Dreams journal for more videos Thomas could create, then he spent the afternoon adventuring in the Imagination. Where it got weird was when he headed down to the common room to have dinner.

Logan and Patton were kissing in the kitchen. Logan and Patton were kissing. Roman didn’t know that kissing was a thing that they — as different facets of Thomas’s personality — were allowed to do.

“Oops, sorry did you need something, kiddo?” Patton asked once he noticed Roman standing in the doorway gawking at them.

“You two were kissing,” Roman observed dumbly.

“Yes,” Logan confirmed, straightening his glasses and entering teacher-mode. “That is an act that two romantic partners commonly engage in.”

“We’re allowed to have romantic partners!?” Oh, wasn’t this day getting better and better? Roman loved romance but he hadn’t realized that he was allowed to participate in it!

“Sure, kiddo, why wouldn’t we be?” Patton giggled, cuddling up to Logan. They were adorable and if Roman wasn’t so focused on his new revelations, he would have probably jumped right in to demanding to know everything about how they got together.

“I don’t know, I guess I just never thought about it before. Romantic partners,” Roman mused to himself as he sunk out, meal forgotten.

Romantic partners. Oh boy did Roman need a romantic partner by yesterday. Why hadn’t he thought of this sooner!

Romantic partners!

Logan and Patton were obviously out since they were already spoken for.

Remus was a hard-pass-not-in-a-million-years-Roman-would-rather-duck-out-than-date-him no.

Janus was… there was a time when Roman greatly enjoyed the way Janus stroked his ego. That was before Roman realized that it was all just lies to further Janus’s own agenda. So Janus was out.

That left Virgil.

Virgil would be perfect! He was the introvert to Roman’s extrovert. The emo to his prep. The pessimist to his optimist. Plus, they would have this whole enemies-to-friends-to-lovers vibe that made Roman giddy.

Yeah, Virgil was perfect.

Now all Roman had to do was ask him out.

A public display of affection was the obvious route to take, but Roman didn’t think that Virgil would appreciate that very much. Still, a musical serenade would be best. Plus flowers. And chocolate. Oh, and balloons. And confetti!

Roman grabbed his Hopes and Dreams journal and began writing down all his ideas. By the end of the hour, he had almost the entire thing planned out, all he had to do now was set it up and do it.

The actual event had to be pushed back a couple days due to Thomas’s filming schedule, but less than a week after Roman had first seen Patton and Logan kissing, it was time. He knocked on Virgil’s door bright and early in the morning, he had the whole day planned out and there wasn’t a moment to wait!

Except that Virgil didn’t answer the door. So Roman knocked again.

And again.

Finally, after a full five minutes, Virgil wrenched the door open.

“What– oh, hey Princey,” all the annoyance drained from Virgil's face when he spotted Roman. This was going to work. “Is something wrong?”

“Nothing wrong, my Nightmarish Nightingale–” that was a compliment, right? “I had just hoped that you would do me the honor of accompanying me on an adventure to the Imagination today!”

“I– now?” Virgil asked, somewhat reluctantly.

“Of course! I have the whole day planned out and there’s not a moment to waste!”

The hopefulness on Roman’s face was probably what melted the Winter Warlock’s heart because Virgil’s reluctance gave way to resignation.

“There better be food,” he warned, stepping completely out of his room.

“Of course! Anything your spooky heart desires!”

The first stop on their soon-to-be date was a charming little cafe that Roman had set up just outside his castle which was filled with Halloween themed cookies and pastries. After that, they went to the tailors for some new clothes (Roman may slay in his usual outfit, he needed to be absolutely stunning when he actually asked Virgil out, not to mention the fact that Virgil’s usual outfit was in no way appropriate for this soon-to-be incredibly romantic occasion). Then they went to the stables to get their horses for their ride through the countryside on their way to the lakeside picnic Roman had set up as his location to serenade the emo Side.

Virgil, it turned out, did not like horses, and horses, no matter how hard Roman tried, did not like Virgil.

“I am so sorry about that,” Roman apologized after Virgil’s horse finally succeeded in throwing him. He dismounted his own horse in order to help the other Side up and make sure he wasn’t too badly hurt by the fall. “I usually have more control over the animals than that, but there’s something about horses that sometimes gives Remus the edge.”

“It’s fine, Roman, seriously,” Virgil assured him as he tried desperately to brush the dirt from his new suit — a rich purple brocade with black threads woven into an intricate skull pattern. Roman waved a hand and all the dirt faded instantly. “Thanks. Can we just go back now?”

“No!” Roman all but screeched. “No, we’re almost there! I just– I have– please, Virgil?” Roman seized Virgil’s hand imploringly. “It’s just a little bit further, we can walk it in no time.”

Virgil looked down at their joined hands then back up at Roman’s face, his cheeks a little redder than before.

“Just a little further?” He asked reluctantly.

“Barely even five minutes, I swear on my sword.”

Sigh. “Okay. Let’s go.”

“Yay!” Roman pressed on to their destination, never letting go of Virgil’s hand.

He did mentally shorten the way to the lake — he had planned a much longer ride — so as to not break his promise, and they soon emerged into a clearing on the shores of a lake where a picnic was set up on the beach and a small rowboat sat ready at the end of a small dock.

“Oh wow,” Virgil marveled as he took in the scene.

Roman finally dropped Virgil’s hand in order to unpack the picnic basket for them. “Do you like it?”

“It’s beautiful,” Virgil complimented. Roman beamed.

The day was going perfectly other than the horse ride, and Roman couldn’t be happier.

…except that it didn’t quite feel the same way it did when Thomas was partaking in romantic activities. Obviously Roman knew that he wouldn’t feel exactly the same as Thomas did since he was a facet rather than a complex human being, but Roman didn’t even feel the same way that Roman felt during Thomas’s romantic escapades.

But all of that could be pushed to the side because that was Thomas and this was Roman, it was different. It made sense.

After their lunch Roman ushered Virgil onto the boat so that they could get to the next and most important step in Roman’s plan: the serenade. For this serenade Roman had chosen, obviously, I See The Light from Disney’s Tangled. Perfect song, perfect movie, perfect location. At no point did it occur to Roman to explicitly ask Virgil out, the song made it obvious, obviously.

On their walk back to town — which Roman had once again shortened but was still about ten minutes — Roman grabbed Virgil’s hand once more.

“I’m reading this situation correctly, right?” Virgil asked as he stared at the joined hands.

Roman was staring at their hands too. He had held hands with both Virgil and the others on numerous occasions, but this time it felt different. Like he could feel every millimeter on his hand where it was pressed against Virgil’s.

It didn’t feel particularly nice, it just felt overwhelming.

“I certainly hope so,” Roman chuckled as he tried to shake the uneasy feeling. “The rest of the day would be awkward otherwise.”

“You have more planned?” Virgil laughed incredulously.

“Of course! Grand romantic gestures are my specialty!”

Virgil shook his head, but he was smiling, so Roman thought he was enjoying himself. “Do I get to know any of these plans?”

“Most shall remain a surprise, my Melodramatic Melody, but I will tell you that I have fireworks planned for the grand finale, unless you find fireworks too distressing, in which case I could make them quieter, or could change course slightly if you’d prefer.”

“Quieter should work just fine,” Virgil assured him. “Especially if I know they’re coming.”

“As you wish,” Roman smiled as they entered town.

The rest of the day consisted of a leisurely stroll through the palace rose gardens, a private viewing of the Nightmare Before Christmas in the palace’s movie theater, and a romantic candlelit dinner in the Imagination’s finest restaurant. Finally, at the end of the day, a horseless carriage ride around town while muted fireworks lit up the sky in dazzling displays.

“It looks great, Roman,” Virgil commented as he watched the fireworks out the carriage window.

“Not as great as you,” Roman said, enjoying the way Virgil’s face blushed. There were a lot of elements of the day that hadn’t quite felt right, but he always enjoyed watching Virgil blush red under his white foundation.

Eventually, Roman noticed Virgil trying to stifle yawns and had the carriage take them back to the palace. From there they exited the Imagination, and Roman walked Virgil back to his room.

“I had a good time today, Princey,” Virgil smiled as they walked.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Um, if I could just ask one thing, next time you want to spend the entire day doing something, can you give me some heads up? Like, you don’t need to tell me what exactly, but maybe a general idea of what and how long?”

“That’s fair. I may have gotten a bit carried away; I was just so excited.”

“It’s all good. Thanks, Roman.”

Virgil had stopped in front of his door and turned to face Roman somewhat expectantly. It wasn’t until that moment that Roman remembered that goodnight kisses were practically a date staple. He hadn’t considered kissing before now, but faced with the expectation, he panicked slightly.

Instead, he did the first thing that came to mind: he grabbed Virgil’s hand and brought his knuckles to his mouth.

“Farewell and pleasant dreams my Sweet and Sour Lemon Drop!”

Virgil looked a little bemused, but not disappointed by the exchange. “Goodnight my, uh, Dazzling Prince.”

Roman beamed at the term of endearment before turning dramatically and making his way back to his own room. Once he was alone his smile dropped. Virgil had seemed to enjoy their date, but it hadn't quite felt right to Roman.

Clearly, he was doing something wrong.

Maybe he hadn’t been trying hard enough?

Whatever it was, Roman fell asleep lost in thought and his dreams were plagued by imperfect dates, social faux pas, and curses placed by dragonwitches.

Roman was just about ready to crawl out of his skin. It had been two weeks, but still Roman couldn’t shake the feeling that he was fucking up at every turn.

Nothing he did felt right. He and Virgil hung out in the living room, and Roman couldn’t stop wishing Virgil would get tired and leave. They went on dates in the Imagination, and he couldn’t stop wishing that he was on a quest alone.

Even when not in a date-setting, Roman was so hyper aware of where Virgil was that it was driving him batty. If Virgil so much as entered a room that Roman was already in, Roman would tense up until he’d either sat down away from Roman or left again. He was dating Virgil; he shouldn’t be feeling afraid of him!

It had to be some sort of curse!

Virgil, he was certain, had yet to notice Roman’s discomfort. Patton and Logan on the other hand…

“Alright there, kiddo?” Patton asked, having just witnessed Roman practically flinch when Virgil walked past him to the kitchen.

“I’m right as rain, padre!” Roman assured him, aiming for upbeat. Judging by the frown on Patton’s face, he’d missed the mark.

“Are you sure?”

“Now that you mention it, I am feeling a little tired,” Roman yawned, hoping for an easy escape. “I think I might go have myself a little cat nap.”

“Do you want to reschedule our date tonight?” Virgil asked, returning from the kitchen.

“I wouldn’t dream of it, mi amor!” Roman reassured him, kissing Virgil’s knuckles once more. He’d pull that move probably too many times in the past week, but luckily it was very in-character for him, and Virgil had yet to question it. “Just a little nap, and then two hours to do my makeup and I shall be ready to sweep you off your feet!”

He sank out after that in fear that if he stuck around any longer Patton might call him out in front of Virgil. He wasn’t actually tired though, so he instead spent his time making sure their date would be perfect.

Whatever Roman’s problem was, it was clear that he just wasn’t trying hard enough during his and Virgil’s dates, so tonight, under the moonlight, he would finally kiss his boyfriend, and like a fairytale, the curse would be broken, and everything would fall right into place.

It just needed to be perfect.

As he always did when they had a date in the Imagination, Roman picked Virgil up from his room and the two of them walked to the Imagination together. Their date would be a royal ball in Roman’s castle; Virgil was once again dressed in his brocade suit from their first date while Roman had picked out a stunning floor-length red gown with a plunging neckline and a train longer than Thomas was tall.

As they danced, Roman began to regret his choice of date. Virgil was pressed all the way up against him with one hand on his waist and the other in one of Roman’s — it was too much contact and it was making Roman jittery.

A thunderous crack echoed through the castle.

“What was that?” Virgil asked, looking around the ballroom for the source. There was nothing to be seen.

“Probably just Remus playing a game somewhere,” Roman suggested, mentally berating himself for his unexpected lapse in concentration. “Nothing to worry about, my Spooky Sweetheart!”

“If you’re sure.”

“I’m positive.”

The music started back up and the two continued their dance. Roman shifted his focus on his surroundings in an attempt to ignore the unpleasant buzzing Virgil’s touch caused beneath his skin.

All was going well until Virgil started to lean in.

His lips were barely an inch from Roman’s before the ground started shaking. A second, even louder crack tore through the ballroom, and seconds later the north end of the room broke away as though falling from a cliff.

“Roman!” Virgil yelped, staring at the wreckage.

This was a disaster, but Roman had a mission. He just needed to kiss Virgil, and everything would be perfect. He cupped the side of Virgil’s head to turn him towards him then cut off Virgil’s confused sound by smashing their lips together.

There had to be some sort of technique to this, and in the back of his mind, Roman knew that he knew it because Thomas knew it. But the technique didn’t come to him, and Roman ended up just aggressively pressing their mouths together.

Virgil flailed for a few seconds before firmly pushing Roman away. The rest of the castle cracked and fell until Roman and Virgil were left staring at each other in shocked silence, surrounded by the ruins of the castle.

“That always works in the movie,” Roman mused sadly, mostly to himself.

“What works?” Virgil asked, looking thoroughly shaken.

“Kissing,” Roman answered. “It’s supposed to fix everything — break the curse and stuff!”

Virgil opened his mouth, then closed it again. “Roman,” he said slowly. “I need you to be clear about this: what curse?”

“The curse that makes it hard for me to be around you,” Roman shrugged.

Virgil’s face fell, and before Roman could say anything else, he’d sunken out.

“Wow!” A voice mused behind Roman. “That was so much better than what I was going to do!”

“FUCK OFF, REMUS!” Roman screamed. Only silence followed.

It was about an hour later — an hour that Roman spent wallowing in misery and making uncomfortable realizations about himself — that someone knocked on Roman’s door. He opened the door because he was expecting Patton and he could use one of his Patton-ted hugs.

It was not Patton.

“Oh,” Roman sighed dejectedly. “I thought you were Patton.”

“Ah yes well Virgil was crying, and I thought it might be best for Patton to handle him.” Logan replied, seemingly taking little offense at the statement.

“What would you have done if I were crying?” Roman asked. Truthfully, he mostly just felt numb, Logan was probably safe from any overly emotional responses.

“I have a list!” Logan informed him excitedly, pulling out his notebook and flipping to a marked page. “It’s tailored to Patton, but I believe you would find many of the items to be agreeable!”

Roman glanced at the list and yeah, Disney movies and cuddling with someone non-romantically sounded excellent. Much better than it had when he and Virgil had done that exact same thing as a date.

“You got me there, Teach.” He was going for enthusiasm, but he couldn’t have been more off the mark.

“Hmm.” Logan’s eyes surveyed Roman searchingly. “Would you like to tell me what happened?”

“What did Virgil tell you?”

“I did not manage to get much coherent information out of Virgil, though Remus has informed me that you quote ‘flipped your shit’ end quote.”

“I was stupid,” Roman sighed. “Just one, gigantic, prince-shaped idiot! I fucked up worse than when Woody pushed Buzz out the window!”

“That is a very emotional response, with what appears to be an unhealthy dose of bias and exactly zero helpful clues as to what transpired between you and Virgil earlier — unless what you did was push Virgil out of a window.”

“No, I–” Roman choked. “I just– I was so excited by the prospect of having a romantic partner, that I didn’t stop to wonder whether or not I should have a romantic partner!”

Logan’s brow furrowed. “I am afraid I’m not quite following.”

“I think I’m aromantic,” Roman confessed. The word had been sitting heavily in his chest for the past hour, but now that it was out there, he felt the weight had been lifted. “I think I’m more excited by the idea of romance than I am by the experience of it — or at least, me experiencing it — and I know I chose Virgil because he was the most convenient option. I played with his feelings; I am unworthy of the title of Prince.”

“Beating yourself up over guilt is not a productive use of anyone’s time,” Logan stated simply. “Sometimes experimentation is required to learn things about ourselves, and sometimes those experiments accidentally hurt people. The best thing to do is apologize.”

“I know,” Roman sighed, rubbing a hand over his face — his makeup had long since been ruined so it hardly mattered now. “Can we do some of the things on your list afterwards?”

“Of course.”

Patton and Virgil were on the couch in the living room when Roman and Logan found them. Virgil was in Patton’s lap, clinging to him like his life depended on it, and didn’t seem to notice the others’ arrival. Patton sent Roman a reassuring smile.

Roman steeled himself up, mostly helped by the firm but gentle hand Logan had on his shoulder.

“Virgil?”

The Anxious Side froze for a moment before slowly pulling back from where his face was buried in Patton’s shoulder. His eye shadow was smeared across his entire face, but he said nothing.

“I need to apologize to you,” Roman continued, focusing on Logan’s calming presence. “It was not my intention to use you like I did, but I did, and for that I am so very sorry.”

Virgil said nothing.

“I was too excited by the idea of a romantic relationship that it took everything literally falling apart around me to realize that I didn’t want to be in one. You didn’t deserve to be my guinea pig. I hurt you and I will try my hardest to make it up to you because I value your friendship above anything.”

“...okay,” Virgil finally croaked before burying his face in Patton’s shoulder once more.

“I’m very proud of you, kiddo,” Patton smiled at Roman gently. “I think Vee needs some time now, okay?”

“Yeah, alright,” Roman agreed. He still felt awful, but he knew Patton was right.

“May I?” Roman turned to find Logan watching him expectantly.

“Sure,” Roman accepted, though he wasn’t quite sure what Logan was asking.

Logan took his hand — it felt nice when Logan did it, platonically, with no expectations — and sank out. They came up in Logan’s room, where the bookworm’s desk had been temporarily replaced with an in-home theater.

“My library, of course, contains every movie and television program that Thomas has ever seen,” Logan explained as he led Roman over the couch. He sat down and pulled Roman down with him, shifting them both around until he determined them to be in the perfect position — no doubt Logan had boiled cuddling down to a science. “We can watch anything you would like.”

“Moana?” Roman requested. He didn’t think he could watch a romance-heavy movie right now.

“Of course,” Logan promised.

Despite how poorly it had all gone down, platonically cuddling with Logan while watching Disney movies was the most content Roman had been in weeks. He drifted off to sleep to the sounds of Auli’i Cravalho and The Rock returning the heart of Te Fiti.

~~~END~~~

Vaguely based off of the six months in high school where I had a 🤢 boyfriend 🤮 (it was a time 🙃), and the fact that my college roommate (who I’m not sure is aromantic but def has the vibes) calls tinder her “game”

General taglist

@royalty-of-all-things-snuggly @pixelated-pineapple @arsonic-knight @misunderstood-shadowling

#aromantic roman sanders #sanders sides #ts sanders sides #virgil sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #logicality #prinxiety #remus sanders #thursday writes #my writing #sanders sides fanfiction