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rfdiscoursethrowaway · 1 month

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alr fucker ill bite

im trying 2 understand the absolute fuckin brainrot that is terf ideology solely so i can explain to people who actually want to make an effort to not be bigoted not fall into your pipelines. i do this already. but i wanna be more thorough and get screenshots and examples for specific questions. ill do a lil back and forth, but you wont be convincing me that all trans women are pedos n rapists and that we need to detransition people en mass and that trans people are delusional. i have a series of questions, if you consider yourself a terf please try and actually answer them, in a way that actually explains your thought process and isnt just calling me slurs because thats most of the discourse on this site. -------

how do you mentally justify the contridiction in "male and female brains have no difference and women are just as capable as men" (true and real) and "men are fundimentally more violent/ women less violent" besides just blatently liking sexism so long as it hurts men and not women (blatently harmful and bigoted just with a #girlpower coat of paint)

if its a socialization issue, how does female seperatism nessisarily help that? shouldnt the goal then to not treat women as an other, and to not define people based on biological characteristics? while biological differences exist they dont affect your mental or phisical capabilities in anything (in regards to biological sex atleast). wouldnt it be more helpful to treat it as simply a medical thing? like a blood type or something? and treat genital preference as just the same as any other random aesthetic preference in partners like, idk, liking fat people or likeing brown hair what is it about gender based oppression that makes you think that its the men that are the problem and not the whole gender thing, because its men thinking that women are fundimentally different alien creatures because we literally define people by their genitals and constantly talk about how your genitals make you fundimentally different then the "opposite". an ACTUALLY HELPFUL soution should be talking about how like, yeah! some of us look different, but thats like? fine? we are people. who cares whats in that person pants. and if your answer is that thats unrealistic and will require hundreds of years of societal change (true) why is your approach to double down on men and women being fundimentally different and not to like? work? twards something objectively better and less discriminatory? most of what terfs are known for is bigotry and thats not some crazy coincidence, its because your sexism (though you love to label it otherwise) naturally leads to transphobia. its because the core of your ideology is bigotry. women shouldnt be discriminated against cuz you are? fucking people? with the exact same capabilities, you do not deserve more/less praise more/less accountablitity more/less agency. infact id argue that this bending over backwords to try and exclude people you deem as men is why radfems are so much more of a pushover to conservatives. your willingness to go on and on about how biological differences make you a fundimentally different person just so you can rant about how men are all ugly evil penis havers just lets you be suseptible to violent reactionary shit by conservatives. regardless of where you come from politically, this applies to BOTH of us, if you refuse to really think deeply and critically about why you hate the things you do and why you like the things you do, and instead operate on gut reactions and absorbing politics from people on tumblr SOMEONE from SOME IDEOLOGY is always trying to take advantage of that. and transphobia IS violent reactionary shit, most the time i see transphobia especially against trans women its based entirely on appearance, people jumping all over themselves to body shame her for not being enough of a woman, talking about how gross and disgusting she is for wearing a dress or for having a deeper voice. why is this body shaming ok so long as you deem someone a man? attatching morality to appearance is just a blatently bad idea and its frankly gross how little so many of you are willing to critique that.

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whats your explaination for the tonal dissonance between "i dont want trans people dead and im not violent" and painting trans women as "always being men with terrible intentions who cosplay as women to have an excuse to rape and assault people"

because while you may not directly say "i think all trans people should be murdered" and you do it in a roundabout way with "all trans people are rapists and all rapists should be murdered" that does still say "i think all trans people should be murdered", just with extra steps. and are you aware that this is the exact retoric used by colonizers to justify genocide and slavery? painting black people as "savages and rapists"? whats your justification for painting a large group of people as fundimentally evil and violent, and how nessasarily is it somehow different then the retoric used to oppress any other marginalized group? + if its a "but im right!" consider this is also what a rapist or an antisemite or a mysogenist would say, and why you are parroting the exact same thing. like do you genuinely actually think that having a boy brain, or more testosterone, or a penis, makes you a rapist and a pedofile? really? and again if you agree with me that its a socialization issue why! dont you! treat it that way!! if you mean one thing, SAY THAT! and FIGURE OUT WITCH ONE OF THOSE YOU BELIEVE. because you cant fuckin have it both ways! if you wanna say that we shouldnt be treating women as stupid vile little vagina having worms (real and true) then like, you cant ALSO be like oh i also think we should be treating men as stupid vile little penis having worms >:) hehe i am so progressive and counter culture ignore all the horrific damage that catagorizing people like that has had i think it will be funny when we do it with men you see.

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what is with this insistance that people define themselves based on whats in their pants, like if having a pussy is just having a pussy thats fuckin fine alr but if you start insisting that people make that their ENTIRE PERSONALITY and that if you have one you HAVVVEEEE to have only a specific subsection of names and you HAVEEEE to be called a woman and use she/her and shit

like girl it is just words, who gives a fuck, if a guy says hey i wanna change my name to this girl name cuz it sounds cool as fuck its like! yea! hell yeah brother! and if hes like actually i prefer more feminine words to refer to me :) its like! hell yeah sister! how does that hurt fuckin anyone. is using words so hard 4 u. and before you be like ooOOuuyhghhg IM NOT DEFINING PEOPLE BASED ON THEY ARE PUSSY how is catagorizing people based on their chromosomes / genitals / appearance (and lets be honest here. its mostly appearance but you use chromosomes and genitals so you can pretend theres some kind of science proving that youre right, there is no chromosome detector 3000 for real life) not flattening them? like genuinely how the fuck do you justify that. you have to go to a different bathroom you have to go to a different doctors office you have to go to a different sports team all because i assume that your chromosomes and your genitals make you eaither unsafe or violent or constantly in need of protection and fundimentally less capable. terfs love to constantly insist that gender is whatever and then constantly try to force people to define themselves by their biological sex? why is whats in MY pants any of your fucking buisness? unless im at a gynocology appointment you dont need to know shit. all of this girlsgirlsgirlsgirls stuff what if you dont wanna be called a fuckin girl? what if i find it weird that you profile people and assume things about them because of their body? if gender is whatever why do you HAVE to be a male or a female. why do i have to fucking put my biology out on display for people to assume things about me based on? because i KNOW you assume things based on peoples biological sex and i KNOW you think more or less of people based on their biological sex thats half the ideology! why do you think every trans women is a sexist mysogenist who woke up one day at 24 and decided she was gonna be a girllll and wear dresses so she could opress woemennn moreeeee, why do you assume all trans men were groomed and exploited and brainwashed into thinking that theyre boys because of mysogeny and not cuz sometimes? being called a dude feels good? having a dick feels good? having a flat chest feels good? using he him or whatever the fuck feels good??? rad fem shit is just, sexism repackadged, do you never see the similarities? do you never see the fine print? that the core ideology is the same? this is just mysogeny again! like women are always the victim and men are always the perpetraitor. is just women have fundimentally less agency and men more agency women do bad things because theyre dumb and men do bad things because they had a good reason to. is just women have fundimentally less agency and men more agency please explain how that ISNT just the same mysogenist veiwpoints with a hashtag girlboss coat of paint. and this isnt me projecting mysogenistic right wing ideas onto you, i wrote all this stuff while looking through "radfem101" "terf reference guide" "things TRA's need to get thru their heads" posts. theres a reason people get them confused, ive been told these exact same things time and time again by alt rights and conservatives and mysogenists. so witch are you? why do you agree on so much?

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how do you deal with the whole, not wanting womens genitals to be constantly policed and have that be all that defines them (true and real) and the very real fact that there is no chromosome detector 3000 and if you want to create "female only spaces" you realistically are eaither going to have to subject billions of women on a daily basis to sexual harrassment to see if they are "real women" or do it just based on appearance. witch is enevitibly going to cause a disproportionate ammount of hate and violence twards black, gnc, and intersex women for not being "women" enough. something that is already happening, because trying to give rigid requirements for what looks like a woman and what looks like a man is always going to impact these groups disproportionately, you know its gonna be based off of like a white skinny cis girl! and uh! not all women are that!

and assuming there is a chromosome dectector 3000 in the future, a) intersex people b) trans men exist, and while im sure you can argue day and night about how they arent real men and phallo dicks are just a mutilated skin tube or whatever half of what you guys talk about is how you feel unsafe being in the same bathroom as someone who "looks like a dude" and who has a penis. considering the strictness in needing 100% gender conformity in trans women im sure the exact same people wouldnt be comfortable with a trans guy eaither, if youd feel ok just so long as they had the right reading on the chromosome dectector 3000 then all this talk about trans women being violent cuz penis and body hair and testosterone is just bullshit. and sense terfs love to play hypotheticals with 100% cis dudes just telling people theyre girls so they can get through the female bathroom security (a thing that totally exists believe me guys) (and also yeah telling a police officer that youre "just a trans girl" would totally actually help you in a legal case dont google trans panic defence shhhhhh its ok its ok, statistics you dont read from "xxvaginawomxngirlfucker" arent real its ok,,) couldnt a cis dude just lieeee about being a trans man? whos saying nobody can lie about my chromosome detector 3000 score! are you gonna put a bouncer in the female bathroom security gates? and like, where do trans people even pee then. we just rename the mens bathroom to the trannies and mysogenists room? the biologically more violent room? yeah lets shove a bunch of little intersex girls into the violent mysogenists room, she had body hair and a harsher jawline and that scared me so im lumping her into the room with all the people i think are pedos and rapists, she will feel totally ok about this and this wont effect her perception of herself, this wont enforce gender roles and make women having a complex about being feminine enough worse. women can be anything! except anything i think looks like a guy. so women can be feminine and nothing else :) but women can be anything i put in this super limiting box! i genuinely cannot imagine a world where this doesnt dramatically worsten sexual phisical and emotional violence against literally everyone.

and to say again. im not looking for quirky rebloggable snapbacks to each of my points i want you 2 put an equal ammount of effort as i did scrolling terflandia and writing all this up. so dont just call me a delusional tr-nny i want you to give me like. atleast a little substance here. something to chew and bite and pick apart

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intothewings · 21 days

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Have you notice how much hatred of gold star lesbian in the lgbt or queer community? It’s on Reddit, Tik tok, tumblr and everywhere else. So sickening..

I've grown tired of the same old conversations, so I don't pay them much attention anymore. I have better things to do. To believe that lesbians have never engaged in consensual sexual activity with a man under any circumstances is considered “violence” in that community, even though it’s the truth. People hate the truth which is why so many are unwilling to accept it. Women who have never been with a man will be met with criticism, resentment, and jealousy from all acrosss the board, regardless of what sexual, political, social, or religious label people decide to tack on themselves or what their relation is to you.

I realized that I was different in my teens when I’d be in a perpetual state confusion thinking something was wrong with me because “lesbians” were (and still are) forever online lamenting about comphet and lesbian masterdoc. These discussions always involved loud declarations about trying to repress their attraction to men and how hard it is to resist them, reminiscing about past romantic relationships with men, crushes on male celebrities or cartoons, and sexual experiences with men, none of which I could relate to. Now, there's the notion that it's common for gay men and lesbians to have sexual encounters with each other or that lesbians watch gay male porn etc. On top of that, there's a push to accept, date, and screw males who claim to be lesbians. If you don’t, you’re an evil transphobic terf. It’s just gotten way out of hand to the point where I don’t even bother with these people anymore. As I've gotten older, I've come to realize that genuine female homosexuality is uncommon, and that's perfectly fine. Goldstar lesbians are an extremely small minority. If women want to “identify” as lesbians during or after screwing dudes and sucking dick, I don’t care. They’re a joke to me.

I feel blessed to have some wonderful lesbians in my life, but personally, I don't actively seek out a 'lesbian community,' nor do I feel an any sense of camaraderie with them. Most women who refer to themselves as lesbians aren't actually homosexual. I've attempted to engage in "lesbian spaces," only to find them still revolving around men. Whether it's conversations about hating men (unless they conform to certain feminine stereotypes and identify as lesbians) or or their past times having sex with men, male centric topics dominate all of the conversation/discourse. Males still have their energy and attention in a way that’s obnoxiously obsessive. For me, being a lesbian isn't about hating males, it's about accepting how I was created by God. At this point, "lesbian spaces" = echo chambers where women validate each other's decisions to engage in screwing males while still claiming a to be a lesbian. Lmao right….

The funny thing is that these women are the main ones who scream about how the world is so homophobic, yet they're the first to attack an actual lesbian who has a viewpoint that doesn’t mirror their own. They immediately resort to verbal attacks, fabricated scenarios, accuse you of arrogance, and use insults like ugly or privileged simply for asserting the fact that lesbians don't engage in sexual activities with men, have crushes on men, consume gay male erotica or male pornography, being a lesbian is not a “choice” you make, males can’t be lesbians, feminism is a lie, etc. In my experience, women who are truly homosexual are just indifferent towards males. We don't harbor hatred towards them, sleep with them, obsess over them, or constantly make them the center of our conversations (feminism).

The way the term “goldstar” literally sends these people into a Pavlovian fit of rage is actually comical at this point. Males are just so irresistible in their eyes, they can’t fathom a woman that hasn’t at least tried them out once. If you haven’t, it’s just because you’re ugly lol. Their immediate reaction is always to start projecting their insecurity and self hatred onto females who are genuinely homosexual. It’s so obvious that the hatred/agitation is inspired and fueled by envy, despite the continuous denials. And if you haven’t experienced trauma that ‘made you turn lesbian,’ you don’t constantly talk about giving head, you’re beautiful, you don’t have mommy/daddy issues, and/or you have a decent personality in conjunction with being homosexual, they will really resent you because it destroys their narrative of lesbians being bitter, traumatized, feminist, unattractive, man-hating, motherless bitches lol. I’m over it. I won’t be discussing it publicly on my page after this.

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awesomefringey · 2 years

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Why am I a bad person for believing his kid is his? How does this make me homophobic? Can’t we all just accept that people have different opinions in this fandom and that they are also being vocal about it? This is not about winning a game. It shouldn’t be a gang war between different groups in this fandom.

I have nothing against anyone, i simply disagree with many theories in this fandom so im probably not a larrie by definition but more somewhere in between. I would love to discuss different perspectives especially regarding all the things that happend this year. But it’s not possible bc everybody only sticks to their own theories. Nothing else seems to be allowed. Taking Larry aside, I think questioning Louis or Harry’s actions sometimes doesn’t make you a bad fan. It’s fair to do so, sometimes. Not everything is black and white. No need to call out people just bc they don’t agree with you. And you are probably confused why I’m even on your blog. It’s bc i agree with some things that come from larries. There’s also lot of stuff that I can relate to that comes from other parts of the fandom. It’s hard to find a space where you can discuss different opinions in a more unbiased and neutral way. Maybe you can understand what I’m trying to say, at least a little bit. I understand what you believe and where it’s coming from and I respect that (not the bbg part, I must add but nevermind :))

All the love

Hi nonnie, I admire that you can remain open for every opinion, but you’re in a very comfortable position, on anonymous and not being a target.

Whilst asking me, a (“no stunts” as they say on Twitter) Larrie, why they’re not willing to accept other people’s opinions. You’re singling out that one group in the fandom whose stance is in itself the most burdensome, the most painful, in order to support them in the shit closet they’re stuck in. In order to celebrate the good people Louis and Harry are.

Yet we are relentlessly harassed, bullied, doxxed, hated on, called out, fooled, used, attacked. Yet our opinions are the least acceptable nowadays in this fandom. So don’t come to me and ask for validation and acceptance - on anon, maybe lurking for me to take some bait so you can come back and reveal you’re actually an anti having a field day.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise that we’re all so sensitive. No one actually wants talk opinions and have a discourse with Larries, so we will shut you out and huddle and won’t trust anyone. That’s why I don’t trust you one bit, nonnie. Don’t take it personally.

And while the new influx of Larries has grown Louis’ fanbase in quantity not quality (mostly teenage Larries who are willing to accept Louis is closeted but not that closeted, he is probably bi, Larry broke up in 2015, Louis had an oops baby and now Larry is back together, they’re coming out soon, they made it, everything’s a scavenger hunt and oh Hamille was defo real cause they were cute or whatever), it has become harder to talk to one another in a proper discourse. Even the “respectful Larries” are going at “no stunt” Larries now. (And RIP rEsPeCtfUl Twarries because Louis is uncomfortable with all of us apparently, you too!)

But we are being attacked from all sides, not only from within:

There are Louies who in general don’t care about Louis’ private life (his sexual label, his love life, his partner) and enjoy his music with zero links to his personal experiences I guess, they say they stan the artist and probably don’t really care what Louis wants to say with his music. I guess they’re the most casual fans but will claim their neutrality wherever they can - unsolicited. Like you, they’d go to Larries and asking what the fuck our problem is. (Just in comparison, I believe Harry has managed to gain loads of new fans of that caliber.)

There are Louies that ship Louis’ private het life the way it’s presented in every gossip mag and interview. They follow Eleanor, create fan pages for the kid, fan pages for Elounor, follow all of the Tomlishians around. Most of them are ready to fight Larries without hesitation.

There are Louies that are rads, who believe Louis is gay, was in a toxic relationship with Harry, shit on him, his looks, his music any way they can, blame him and the Azoffs for sabotaging Louis’ career but also say Harry’s obsessed with Louis still, hence all the songs and stuff. They spend a lot of their time in the fandom looking up Larrie blogs to bully them.

And there are Louies that are antis, who spend their days solely fighting Larries, trying to win whatever fight for Louis’ straightness. It’s their only mission.

Everyone above feels encouraged to blame Larries for everything. Daily. So excuse me, when my opinion hurts your feelings a bit, but I’m not too worried about you since you’d be welcomed with open arms literally everywhere else! 💜

#ask #fandom discourse #bbg #louis is a daddy but not a dad

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loveletterkins · 1 year

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♡ ♡ ♡ oh, hey, you! i've been waiting for you! welcome!

welcome to loveletterkins! ࿐

we're a system-run edit blog where we all pitch in to make edits for you! that's right, you! we do stuff for kins, fictives (and other sysmates), irls and just about anyone else who wants them! this is our pinned post, where you can find all of our information! please take care to read if its your first time on our blog.

here's the REQUEST TRELLO.

♡﹒mod monika

『 RULES 』

please be sure to check the header for if my inbox is open! whenever it is closed, i like to keep the asks open so i can answer questions and talk to followers, but any reqs sent while my reqs are closed will be ignored and deleted!

its encouraged that you give me a general themeing for your reqs. for example; scenecore rainbow dash icon or red toned nagito icons. if you dont specify, i will use my default style (as seen in my own icon and header and such)

we are a system and the only mods we will ever accept will be within our own system. mod apps will not open.

because this is only a hobby for fun, we might delete requests we simply dont think we have the motivation to do. that will be a rare occurrence, however.

no discourse in the inbox. no drama of any sort, in fact.

you can req for specific mods but it might take a while if you do!

『 DNI 』

terfs, swerfs, radfems or people who police identities and don't respect neopronouns/mogai identity labels.

people who are anti-self diagnosis and/or fakeclaim people.

people who disbelieve and/or dislike the kin community.

more can be added.

『 BLACKLIST 』 sources that i will not do.

Hetalia

Countryhumans

Attack on Titan

South Park

Family Guy, American Dad, other similar cartoons

Rick and Morty

『 WHITELIST 』 sources that i enjoy and will do eagerly, will take priority over other requests!

Pokemon

Cookie Run

Ace Attorney

Danganronpa

NGE

Splatoon

MLP:FIM

DDLC

NOTE: i will do any source other than whats on the blacklist! even if i am not familiar.

『 WHAT I CAN DO 』

Icons (incl. pride, aesthetic, matching, reply, shaped)

Headers (for tumblr or twitter)

Wallpapers (desktop or phone)

Banners (for pluralkit or blog use! dni included.)

Moodboards (for characters, but also will do these for songs and names!)

Playlists (will take a long time, and will be on youtube!)

Stimboards

Sprite Edits (will take a long time)

Character Pride Flag Recolors

Userboxes

Shopping Suggestions (fashion, stim, self-care, etc.)

Pronoun + Name Ideas (based on characters or just based on vibes you want!)

Pluralkit Display Name Formats

Pluralkit Bio Formats

Pendulum Readings

Tarot Card Readings

Shufflemancy Readings

Sparkle Images (scenecore blingee style ones)

Blinkie Packs (i don't make them but i suggest them!)

Stamp Packs (same as above!)

Promotions

Kin Confessions

Kin Venting

Kin Positivity

Kin Calls

『 PACK OFFERS 』

packs take longer than normal requests, but they come with a lot for your troubles!

Layout Pack (3 icons, 3 headers)

Pluralkit Pack (3 icons, 3 banners, display name + bio layout)

Identity Pack (1 - 3 pride icons, pronoun suggestions, name suggestions, OPTIONAL color picked pride flag)

Old Web Pack (3 scenecore icons, a sparkle image, a blinkie pack and a stamp pack)

Spiritual Pack (shufflemancy reading, pendulum reading, tarot card reading)

Bad Day Pack (3 icons, a wallpaper and kin positivity)

The Total Package (1 of each request type except for calls, confessions, venting and promotions. can ask for things to be left out if desired!)

『 MODS 』

Mod Monika (she/they/it)

Mod Sherlock (any pronouns)

Mod Karkat (he/they)

Mod Maki (she/they)

Mod Mikan (she/they/deco/nurse)

Mod N (any pronouns)

Mod Azriel (they/them)

Mod Arven (he/they)

Mod Fluttershy (she/her)

Mod Roxy (she/they/he)

Mod Callie (she/they)

Mod Ankha (she/they)

Mod Sunset (she/they)

Mod Piers (they/it/he/null)

『 BELOVED ANONS 』

if we see your anon name (such as 'tiny dog anon' or 'papyrus anon') 3 times or more, you will get added to the list so we can greet you every time we see you for frequenting us!!

🎸 anon

#pinned #edit blog #kin edits #system edits #fictionkin #requests

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melancholic-entrails · 11 months

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a lengthier intro that explains things in simpler terms :) heyo! you can call me star or sil!

i use any pronouns including neopronouns, i especially like it/it's and they/them. just make sure to add some variety sometimes if you're going for less neutral ones :)

i am a minor- i occasionally horny post/ etc however. reminder, this does not equal consent. but i normally tag them #suggestive cw or #cw suggestive if i remember.

i don't always remember to tag possible triggering things, so please proceed with caution!

a little bit about me:

i am a self shipper ( with fictional characters ) . i'm always okay with "sharing" fictional characters, because i believe in the multiverse theory when it comes to both selfship and otherkinity. the multiverse theory basically explores the idea of the multiverse with fiction- different versions of the same fictional character. meaning that in my eyes, "sharing" fictional characters does not exist because we all see them in different ways. of course, it is perfectly alright for you to be uncomfortable with sharing, but that is what i personally believe.

i believe in ship and let ship. nobody should be harassed for their taste in fiction. people can be groomed with fiction, but people can be groomed with anything. yes, this includes whatever "disgusting" things you are thinking of. it is okay if you despise them, just block and move on. don't send hate.

we are all living breathing human beings with thoughts and feelings and wants and dreams. don't send hate.

i do not believe in thought crimes. yes, this includes whatever you're thinking of. thought crimes are not real.

there is nothing wrong with having paraphilias, because oftentimes this is a result of trauma or you simply cannot control it.

however, i only stand for consensual contact in real life. meaning that i am anticontact on sexual zoophilia, pedophilia, etc.

if you find my stances personally disgusting, block and move on, please.

for trans-identifiers: most common being transgender, less common being trans-species, trans-race, etc:

bottom line, as long as you are not using these labels to mock fun of the community you are taking on the labels of, it does not matter.

people may take on these labels as forms of empowerment, simply relating to them, or any other reason.

and for the topic of system origins, such as the origins of a dissociative identity disorder, i will only say this:

i am not a doctor. i don't know the inside of your brain. so i cannot know if you are faking or not. the same goes for any mental illness. this means that i am not someone who knows enough about dissociative identity disorders and the like to properly say that endogenic systems- systems not formed by trauma- are real or not.

what i will say, though? exclusionism isn't fun. it's not nice. if the endogenic person(s) are simply existing, it is simply mean spirited to mock them.

something else i have noticed is: there are endogenic systems or plural people or etc that label as nondisordered, but i personally think many are disordered rather than they claim, simply because dissociative disorders are not researched enough.

bottom line, i don't care what you call yourself- i care how you conduct. and that includes for all sorts of discourse, including the proship vs antiship discourse, the traumagenic vs endogenic discourse, and everything else.

internet safety things: please, please, don't share a list of your triggers or diagnoses online. it is simply dangerous.

post-script:

no matter how vile you believe someone is, because you disagree with them, find them annoying, or anything else?

it is never a kind thing to doxx someone or send death threats because of their opinions on the internet.

especially for proship discourse on tumblr dot com.

just think twice, kay?

#updated longform intro #stances

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sealpup9 · 2 years

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I feel like a lot of queer discourse would be solved if everyone in the lgbtqia+ community just watched RENT once.

Its an amazing musical first off but it is so Unapologetically Queer.

If you're questioning or maybe you arent out yet. Or you haven't interacted with a lot of other LGBTQIA+ folks irl, it's such a great musical.

The first time I watched it, I was uncomfortable.

I was raised in a christian household, and i wasn't even thinking about coming out to anyone, but was trans and a baby gay™ and I had an amazing friend who was and who's father was so outwardly supportive of the LGBTQIA+ community that it was jist kindof this shock.

I thought wait, they can do that? Wait, we have movies with gay people and trans people that are just existing like this? Wait, this is what happened in the 80s?

I was in HS and I had little to no experience with the queer community.

And the musical made me uncomfortable.

But then I started thinking well why. Halfway through I'm sitting enjoying this music and just so shocked about the open speech, so unapologetic, so outwardly queer in this space that they just are and they just exist these characters are just that. Queer.

Going back it really, really was a major part of my introduction into the queer community. Because if we aren't loud and unapologetic, we risk being wiped out, forgotten, treated as sub-human.

We are human and we are Queer.

And that's just some reasons why I think RENT will ALWAYS ALWAYS stand out as a great piece of queer culture. If you haven't watched it yet, please do!! The music is fantastic! The movie was made with a lot of the original cast from Broadway! It's a great movie night movie!!!

I'm not saying that this is going to fix the TERF issue or make aphobia go away. I'm just saying that a lot of the discourse revolves around tearing down other members of the community.

At the end of the day, we stand together or we die.

And I do mean that. No anti-gay laws are going to care if your partner is trans or ace.

Discriminatory laws don't make exceptions to their rules simply because you identify as something else or you are into something else. Discriminatory laws will discriminate against anyone they deem sub-human, or anyone they can put into a box.

We're already under that one label: Queer, right?

Tearing our own community members down will only make things so much worse. Infighting is the last thing we need, and discourse revolving around transgender people not belonging or asexual people not belonging is a moot point, they've already grouped us together. It doesn't matter in their eyes. We are not better than one another, just like we are not inferior to people who are cis and straight.

The world is heteronormative. We throw a wrench in the "heteronormative ideals" that hate groups have by simply existing. Terfs, nazis, aphobes, biphobes, panphobes-- Just existing is enough to upset these people.

So live unapologetically.

Don't throw hate around.

Fight for the rights and needs of fellow humans. No one is better than any other person.

Oh, and watch RENT

#rent #la vie boheme #queer #gay #transgender #bisexual #pansexual #asexual #lesbian #intersex #LGBTQIA+#i love the fact that the movie uses terms that we've moved away from too #it's just about that experience of this is how things were in the 80s #and i understand its fiction i do #i just genuinely think its a fantastic film #a lot of discourse lately is that divisive discourse #the kind that takes our identities and tries to separate them from each other #the kind that pits us against one another #but we're all queer #we are all in this community #at the end of the day we stand together because the opposite means falling apart and being treated as sub human #we need to raise each otber up #we need to have voices from all walks of life and all groups and let everyone co exist #and by co exist i do mean all LGBTQIA+ folks #i do not mean letting nazis and terfs talk #we are in this together #queer community #my post #these are ramblings at 3am so please don't judge too hard if my point was repeated a bunch #i get emotional thinking about these kinds of things.... im by no means good at making my point though :/

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bewareofdeaddove · 5 months

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hello! since this is a discourse blog, introducing myself isn't a priority, but i'll do it anyway.

you can call me whatever name you want on this blog. i'm a minor. i use it/its pronouns. i will provide tw tags simply: no "tw" or "cw", just, for example, "blood" or "queerphobia". please block tags you're uncomfortable with!

i have no dni; i believe in fostering open and good faith discussion on this blog, as that's the point of making it! telling me to kill myself will get you blocked.

as a quick tl;dr before i conveniently list out some of my opinions: i am against harrassment and censorship, and i don't care what people decide to write fanfiction about or draw.

i am wholly against any form of harrassment. this includes calling people pedos for fictional ships, telling people to kill themselves, and anything else. if you really hate someone's posts, complain in private with your friends like everyone else does, don't harrass people.

i am wholly against censorship. media, no matter how bad or "irredeemable", always has a right to exist. all art has inherent value.

i don't judge people's morals over fictional content. as long as whatever you're posting is tagged properly and can be blocked if neccessary, it's not my business.

fiction and reality are not equal, but do have some effect on each other. i, of course, have issues with trends in media that, for example, downplay abuse and sexualize/"adult-ify" teenagers, but fanfiction is, like, the very end of that chain. it doesn't affect anyone. because of that, i don't care about it.

i don't care what you make if it doesn't hurt anyone, but being a bigot in your fiction does hurt people. the way people behave towards fictional characters, i.e. racist comments towards characters of color, can still be bigoted. it doesn't hurt the characters (obviously) but it does hurt real people, and that's where i draw the line.

i only have an issue with fanworks when they begin to perpetuate actual, real-life bigotry. this leads into my next point...

what are your personal limits regarding fiction?

aren't you basically pro-ship, then? well, yeah, i guess. i don't identify with the pro-ship label for many reasons, though. most of all, though, i don't want people to put words in my mouth; i have no desire to be called a pedophile because of the pro-ship label. i have no desire to have people assume that i want terrible things to happen in real life over internet discourse. i will never tolerate these accusations, and i don't use the label in order to avoid the possibility. you can call me whatever you want, though.

i don't particularly like anti-shippers. this is mostly from experience. i have been deeply entrenched in anti-ship communities, and i have come to only think one thing of them: the people themselves have good intentions, but the mindsets they foster are incredibly harmful. i'm open to discussion about this.

i avoid anti-shippers because of their tendency to harrass people, also. like... big tendency. community-built-on-the-idea level tendency. pro-shippers also harrass people, which is another reason i choose not to label myself as one. this i know from experience.

as a general rule, i am uncomfortable with:

shipcest

minor/adult ships

lolisho content (i have complex feelings on it, but i'm just uncomfortable with it as a whole and ask that it not be brought up with me)

rpf, but i only draw a hard line at rpf of minors and generally tolerate everything else, however begrudgingly.

i am fine with:

aging up underage fictional characters

selfcest (although i usually call it selfslash for comfort)

"rpf" of fictionalized versions of real-life people, like idk, hamilton characters.

just about anything else, honestly. we'll see about specifics.

in addition, my boundaries for this blog are as follows:

i will not respond to anon hate, including anything with death threats or anything accusing me of, like, being a pedo.

i will try not to reblog from people who have neutrals in their dni (as that's what i consider myself), but i don't really check dni pages, so i might make mistakes in that regard.

i will not reveal personal information about myself to justify my opinions.

#pinned post #pro ship #proship #profiction #neutralship #neutral ship #ship discourse #<- Ok

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estrogenism · 1 year

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hi there, i saw your account on twitter at one point and disagreed with a lot of your views, views that you now seemed to have changed your mind on. why did you hold those views and why did you change your mind?

hi anon,

first of all, i'd like to apologize for the fact that you had to see me at my worst. that couldn't have been easy to see and i'm sorry about the harmful things that i said. as for why i held those views, it's the same fucked up reasons that a lot of exclusionists hold those views.

i saw a lot of labels describing intimate attraction as strict boxes that had very little wiggle room. i've faced a lot of lesbomisia, and instead of blaming the actual lesbomisic people, i decided to blame people who actually cared about being called lesbomisic. exclusionist views generally come down to them thinking that it's easier to blame other queer people online for queermisia than it is to blame the actually queermisic people in the real world.

i was also in a radfem pipeline and under the influence of radfem propaganda, and you know how they are about labels. i'd say the most inclusive views i had at the time was that nonbinary lesbians and gays coule date eachother, transmascs could be lesbians as long as they weren't man-aligned, and vice versa with transfem gays. i felt the need to arbitrarily gatekeep lesbianism from people that whose labels i couldn't properly understand due to my own binary view of lesbianism.

in summary, it was basically another case of blame shifting based off of my own personal incredulity.

as for why i changed my views, i partially have a friend to thank for that. shi had been changing her own views shortly before i left the exclusionist side of twitter. we had a conversation about this, and after acknowledging what shi had to say, combined with a shit ton of harassment from fans of a certain white leftist streamer, i left exclustwt. this wasn't when i changed my beliefs. it was simply when i got sick of the performative, selective activism on exclustwt. and shortly after, i realized that i was sick of exclusionism in general. i basically wrote a note detailing a lot of my beliefs on common queer discourse. and i was going over the mspec lesbian and lesboy section, and just thinking to myself, i sound exactly like a terf. no wonder a lot of people consider me to be queermisic.

i started to actually open my eyes to the many resources that inclusionists provided to prove why mspec lesbians and lesboys exist. and i'm just thinking to myself, why do we even need to prove the existence of a queer label? why do we need to justify our self-identification? isn't this just the neopronouns discourse all over again? the non-dysphoric trans discourse all over again? just the same pointless queer discourse rebranded as "well this time they're ACTUALLY harmful!!" as if that isn't the same thing said about every queer group that has been a victim of reactionary exclusionary gatekeeping?

i read. i read a lot. i'm a library type of gal and often go to the library in my local area, so i'm more than used to the prospect of reading. i've read some queer literature before, but at the time my brain was shutting off at the prospect of anything that i disagreed with. i sat my ass down and started rereading queer literature, stone butch blues being one of them. i actually absorbed everything that was being said this time, and i knew that i had been wrong about what the real danger in the queer community was.

the real danger is the people who want to divide us, the people who will blame other queer people for the existence of queermisia, the people who will send death threats to a queer person. the real danger is the terfs and right-wingers and the queer people who will let terfs and right-wingers control us and our history. the real danger is the people who are compliant with lesbian seperatist ideology while saying "fuck terfs."

the real danger is NOT some butch lesbian calling themselves lesboys, it's the people who want to stop them from doing so and kick them from spaces that they've always belonged in. the real danger is NOT some trans men calling themselves lesbians, it's the people who want to stop them from doing so and kick them from spaces that they've always belonged in.

and honestly, at the end of the day? i just learned that other peoples' identities aren't my business. i don't have a right to tell other people that they're describing their own experiences wrong. i don't have a right to tell them that they can't call themselves a lesbian, because while i am a lesbian myself, my lesbianism does not entitle me to gatekeep lesbianism. nobody is obligated to listen to someone who tells them that they're wrong to call themself a lesbian, and that letting lesbian exclusionists gatekeep lesbianism is "being a good ally and listening to lesbians." by that logic, we should let lesbian terfs gatekeep trans women from lesbianism because we'd be "listening to lesbians."

as much of a fairytale that must sound like, it's the best way that i can describe me realizing that i was a stupid, impressionable kid susceptible to terf propaganda. i hope that answered your question, anon. it is sort of hard to actually put this sort of stuff into words, but i do think it's incredibly important for me and other ex-exclusionists to think back, ask why we thought that, and recognize the holes in our former views. because every exclusionist argument that i can think of has holes in it.

#lelei speaks ★#this is a long one and i'm kinda in a weird headspace right now. i'll get to the rest of the questions later #asks #anonymous #queermisia tw #lesbomisia tw #bimisia tw #transmisia tw #twitter account q&a

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calzonekestis · 2 years

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No, tumblr is not glitching. There is a a screen shot of a Marvel gif set in an unrelated fandom’s tag.

Tis a screen shot so as not to derail the notes of OP’s post with said unrelated fandom’s discourse.

If OP would like me to delete the screenshot and simply leave the link to the original post, I will happily do so.

It’s just.

I’ve been thinking a lot about just. The misogyny of fandom. Not particularly the Marvel fandom, or Stranger Things fandom, but like. Any fandom?

Cause despite what gatekeeping dudebros may want to believe - so much of Fandom culture thrives on women. Them and their creativity, and their engagement.

And I realize that as a cis man I should tread carefully asking this, but then… why is it that fandom is so misogynist towards actresses just doing their jobs?

The likes of Emily VanCamp and Grace Van Dien get viscous attacks online because people don’t like their characters, their relationships to their male faves. The actress merely living and breathing in real life is somehow a threat to their favorite fictional pairing.

Meanwhile, like. Joe Quinn talks about Eddie and Chrissy, people ignore him and say he doesn’t know what he’s saying. That he’s being pressured into saying it.

David Harbour talks about how he read Jopper fanfic, and how he and Winona adlibbed their second kiss. He’s a King for this. Fandom loves him.

Grace Van Dien just shared cute fanart to her social media accounts. She talked about how she and her scene partner approached the scene.

That’s literally all this poor woman has ever done. And suddenly she’s labeled the antichrist.

Like, ok, the screenshotted gif set. I like Sebastian Stan. I like that he Ships the Thing. I’m not saying we should tear him apart for shipping the thing - not at all, by any means.

But like. Can you imagine how opposite the response would be if he was a woman?

Saying he wants his character to marry/date/sleep with a dude? Making sexual innuendos?

Can you imagine if Grace said any such things pertaining to Eddie? I mean I know she was put on the spot with that Date/Marry/Kill game at various cons, but like.

She wouldn’t, because she has more tact - but if she was like “yeah I wish Chrissy had lived so she and Eddie could bone.” Like. If those were her words.

Like if she didn’t go all “be a weird/uncouth couple” about it, but if she was just like “girlie deserves to get it.”

I’d be snickering and cheering her on, frankly. I wouldn’t see anything wrong with that. Dear God though, could you imagine how twitter would react?

Like. Come on. Again, we’ve seen how the woman is treated just for sharing fanart and talking about how she approached her craft. If she did any of that?

Could you imagine?

A white man can get away with it, though. Be praised for it. Why is that? Is it because he’s conventionally attractive?

Like. Is that it?

Cause like. Again. Women hold fandom up on their shoulders like they’re Atlas. So why is misogyny so damn prevalent, especially when it comes to shipping culture?

I’m not even getting into acting like you’re some progressive ally just because you have a slash ship - because I think I covered that in previous posts. Its not actually caring about m|m or our representation. In many instances, you’re just horny. Or you just want to fetishize us as your “uwu soft gays”.

No, I mean like. Not even talking about the erasure if female characters, the shaming people for shipping m|f ships… why is it that the women making the content like ships? Why can’t they validate them? When you love it when the men do - at least, when they validate the ones you like. The women though, they better just keep their mouths shut. They’re so creepy, I bet they’re lusting after their costar! We aren’t projecting at all!

Again. Cis male. So like. I’m self aware enough to know I’m maybe not the best person to call this out/the person who should call it out but. Does fandom hate women? Cause it sure seems that way sometimes, and like. That makes little to no sense to me, not only because ayyy women 😩🤌 but like.

This is your house. Women built this house. Y’all are the ones who keep it running, it would be an even uglier and much more boring place without you. A patriarchal white echo chamber of dudebros complaining about a Star War.

So like. I’m sorry, but the shaming actresses for shipping a thing, cyber bullying them for daring to breathe your white blorbo man’s air.

While also building that white blorbo man on a weird little Hey Arnold style shrine in the back of your closet, so to speak.

It makes no sense to me. Y’all should be better than this. I know that you are better than this, the majority of you - that it is just a heinous vocal minority who attack actresses online but like.

What the fuck is up with that, pray tell?

I’m not blaming all this bullshit on all women - that’s stupid and I have more self awareness.

Again, white man. If I blamed you personally for this, you could blame me personally for like… I don’t know, nearly every horrible historical event in the history of history.

I don’t mean to play the blame game here, I just. I don’t understand.

Like you can tell it to me why this happens - I understand what all the words mean. Jealousy and bitterness and internalized misogyny. Yeah, I know, that all checks out.

It still. Doesn’t make sense. Going back over a decade to dig through a person’s trauma and recovery, their posts from when they were a minor… doctoring them in an attempt at defamation and libel.

All that. Over fictional characters. Over ships. Over your obsession with an actor who doesn’t know you exist and if he did would be disgusted by how you’re treating his friend and coworker.

Nothing about any of that makes sense.

#hellcheer #grace van dien #grace is loved #chrissy appreciation day

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starrbar · 1 year

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The word "proship" is about as descriptive as "mutt" nowadays.

Lil disclaimer: This is only about me and my personal experiences. Call yourself whatever you like. It's your actions I will judge, not your label.

There are two reasons why I try to avoid directly labeling myself as "proship" or even "profiction" despite sharing many, if not all, of the views those terms are supposed to stand for.

I wrote about the first reason here.

This is the second reason:

I have seen the terms proship/proshipper/profiction used by real people in the following ways, NOT counting the things antis claim it means:

"Ship and let ship" / "Your kink is not my kink (and that's okay)"

"Not caring what other people like"

"Minding your own business"

"Curating your experience"

"Scrolling when your see something you dislike instead of making a fuss over it"

"Being into taboo subjects"

"Supporting all ships, including pedophilic or incestuous ones"

"Being against thought crimes"

"Anti-harassment over fiction"

"Anti-censorship"

"Fiction doesn't equal reality" / "Fiction isn't reality"

"Fiction doesn't affect reality at all"

"Being able to tell the difference between fiction and reality"

And then on top of that, a lot of neutral people are lead to believe it just means "pedophile / incest supporter", or someone who genuinely thinks minor/adult 'relationships' are healthy and fine.

➛ It's worth a brief note that it didn't originally mean literally any of these things (as documented on the Anti-shipper and Anti-anti Fanlore pages), but you didn't come here for a history lesson.

I've also seen the following behaviors from people who used being "proship" as a shield or justification for them:

Defending MAPs

Defending or participating in invasive RPF

Defending bigotry

Supporting real life incest

Doing "problematic shipping" with child characters played by actual minors

Making lust posts about characters played by child actors

Creating, consuming, or supporting uncomfortably realistic "lolicon"

Getting way too defensive against ANY criticism of a story, even when it's not framed in an aggressive, moralizing way.

And my favorite: Fucking harassing people for perceived "anti" views. -_-

I'm certainly not writing this with the intention of making all proshippers as a whole look bad, but I've had to come to terms with what that word has evolved into and what it means to people. It's gone out of my control despite how desperately I had wanted it to just mean what I think it should mean—what it did mean originally.

When one of my core identity labels can conjure up the image of any one of these things, especially when many of them are god awful, I feel a lot less comfortable using it for myself.

I use "anti-anti" comfortably enough because it doesn't refer to my potential stance on paraphilias, what ships I'm into, censorship or ""censorship"" (the bullshit right-wing boogie man version), or even simply the way fiction affects reality. It instead only refers to my stance against what antis stand for and what they do.

And we all know what they do.

I used to have this explained on my Carrd as a mere supplement to a long, long list of my specific beliefs regarding fiction vs. reality, kinks, and all that jazz. Then I realized how futile and silly it is to preemptively explain my entire moral compass on my literal central hub of Me-ness, because who am I really convincing of anything by having a BYF page that huge? It had a bunch of claims about what I believe, but no further essays linked that might back up how thoroughly I do believe those things. So it would end up just... kind of hollow.

So whenever I'm feeling spicy, I might just write more essays about various aspects of the discourse and keep those in a totally optional directory of sorts, probably still linked on my Carrd. I have a burning need to share my thoughts and writing with the world, but I certainly don't think someone needs to know all of that just to click Like on my art.

(Also some day I might make dedicated posts to each of the links I shared, but for now I just want some level of backup to my words in this post.)

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tonitheloftwing · 2 years

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*makes a meme making fun of r/fdc*

'endogenics dni'

my guy you're the sort of person who posts on r/fakedisordercringe. just sayin'.

I don’t hate endos. I don’t hate anyone (besides kittydog, who happens to be an endo, but that’s besides the point), and would never go out of my way to harass anyone, especially people who I believe are truly suffering in one way or another (endogenic systems.) endogenic systems have something wrong with them. It could be actual DID or it could be malingering or other mental health issues. The post I made just wasn’t meant for endogenic systems. But honestly my main motivation for it was not wanting a bunch of endos to be like “omg yeah!” To that post and then having to be like “yeah this wasn’t for you…” and then having them get mad at me for being a “sysmed.” I’m radically inclusive of all labels that aren’t medically inaccurate or dangerous. Endogenics fall under that category, for a variety of reasons. I don’t really care for public syscourse, but I’d be willing to discuss this more in depth, but, deep down, the meme was about me, someone who has been professionally diagnosed with DID, being frustrated about people on fakedisordercringe and systemscringe attacking literally anyone who displays any symptoms of DID, thinking they’re “protecting real systems” from the “fakers”. When really, when you attack a system, regardless of whether you think they’re faking or not, you just hurt all systems in the long run. Especially if you’re a singlet. The WORST thing a singlet can do to support systems is by getting involved in syscourse at all. Just stay out of it, support the systems in your life regardless of your own personal opinions. Just treat everyone with kindness and respect. That’s what I do. Singlets hurt the DID community way more than endogenics ever have, and the post was about singlets. Not endos. I simply just didn’t want endos interacting with a meme that was not made with them in mind, and having to explain what I meant. Sorry if ive repeated myself at all during this lol, the sun is blazing in my eyes and I’m on a boat so I didn’t really have time to proofread anything, lol. Anyways, if you want to come off anon and message me, you can! If you want to just send more anon asks, please do! I will respond to the best of my ability! If you’re an endo, I respect you and your opinion and would be willing to learn more about your world views. I don’t think I’ll ever *agree* with endogenic systems due to like, medical evidence, but I’d love to discuss further with you! /gen

If you happen to be an endo supporting singlet just stop interacting with system discourse lol.

#Syscourse #discourse

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rivetgoth · 2 years

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do you think chris corner is mentally fucked up (not trying to be ableist here lol i'm disabled lmao) like the rest of the bandom does?? i've seen so much shit about kelli ali and debating who was right that someone needs to make a deep-fried meme with a person holding their head overwhelmed. i'd like to pick your brain about this even though i don't know much about her solo project

Uhh I don’t know what “mentally fucked up” means and your being anon-disabled doesn’t really give me any better indication here lol😭 I mean I think he very obviously struggles or has in the past struggled with mental health and in both his lyrics & interviews he’s been super candid about that so? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ [EDIT A friend told me he’s mentioned on Patreon being autistic as well which is cool, I had sorta assumed given the title of one of his recent tracks but there is also that and good for him 🖤]

But idk man as much as I love both Sneaker Pimps and IAMX I don’t consider myself apart of any “bandoms” (hate that word) and I’ve never seen some vast majority of people who consider Chris fucked up, I follow goths and rivetheads idk, like I’ve seen the discussions on the SP band drama here and there but enough to say the whole rest of “the bandom” finds him fucked up? And as far as any drama or discourse goes I guess I just don’t care all that much about trying to pick sides or make perfect moral sense of a situation that happened between bandmates before I was even born lol. Especially when it seems like it amounted to poor handling of a situation rather than like, someone being traumatized and abused or w/e. Everyone involved was young (if my math’s correct Chris would have been like, my age, and he’s in his late 40s now…) and trying to make art and human to human the situation just seems like messy interpersonal stuff and I genuinely cannot express enough how much I don’t really care if Chris Corner was somehow “in the wrong” or “didn’t handle it super well” etc. Like I could sit here and list all of the not-very-tactful things every one of my favorite artists may or may not have done, the majority of which happened before I was in the womb, but unless it’s actually something that I feel warrants discussion due to the extremity or persistence of the shitty behavior (and there ARE artists I listen to that I would say like, do deserve frequent reminders of their behavior so people don’t start getting too cocky talking about how great they are LOL) I couldn’t possibly begin to really care all that much.

I think it’s like. Very annoying how “bandoms” or whatever try to treat musicians like fictional characters and “figure out” if they’re problematic or not, if they have mental illnesses or not or what labels they use or what’s going on in their heads exactly and the reasoning for doing what they do, like if an artist actually objectively does something that harms another person or is incredibly bigoted and expresses no remorse or anything then yeah of course that warrants discussion but I feel like that’s a far cry from trying to give in-depth diagnoses on the workings of interpersonal band drama from the 90s and decide from there if the people involved are forever fucked up people from then on. They’re all just some guys idk. I also simply do not know Chris Corner as a human interpersonally & the read I get from him in interviews and stuff is that he’s a pretty private person who’s not about to share his deepest darkest feelings and secrets for an interviewer or to the public in general. Ultimately from what I’ve read I find him kinda funny sometimes & there is stuff I tease about but ultimately I respect his overall beliefs and opinions when he expresses them and he is responsible for some of my absolute favorite art ever produced and I very strongly relate to a lot of it, I don’t think he comes across as a fucked up person though he certainly comes across as someone who has been very very fucked up before and is processing that through his art, aren’t we all? I would be genuinely disappointed if news were to come out that indicated he had genuine ill intent towards others. Also I trust cEvin Key’s taste in people overall and they are good friends and have been for years.

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bugscrew-diary · 1 year

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Blogpost on Girlhood rewritten 4 sydney eheheehe

I started making this post a while ago and then didn't because I had no real reason to finish it but now I do so here u go hehe.

I've noticed that many of the women I know (myself included) had phases where they believed they were not women. When I try to explain this to cisgender people who haven't experienced that, it goes over their heads a little bit. I think they believe that very few people genuinely struggle with realizing a queer identity, and that most people just "know."

When I think of my early teen perspective, I think it actually makes sense that I jumped to the conclusion that I may not be a woman once I realized that my thoughts on gender do not align with most people. When you're in middle school, coming into an understanding that the arbitrary traits our society assigns gender to are actually pretty illogical is hard to do without it making you think you must be transgender to think that way. When you're in middle school, the only other people you know of that think that way are probably transgender.

But recently, I've been thinking about it a little differently. Not to say "Younger me should have known!" because I think it's good to contemplate and experiment with your own gender, even if the conclusion is that there's nothing to be changed. I've seen this discourse online before so it's not like it hasn't been said before, but that few years in online queer communities where it was pretty much exclusively about what label you wore and what pride flag you used was really harmful to queer ideology as a whole. Instead of breaking down the walls that queer people feel trapped by, it just added slightly bigger walls around the initial walls. "You're either this or that" became "You're either this, that, or maybe one of these 55 other very specific labels. Also you have to pick one or you're not really like us."

Some people were kind of beyond the idea of forcing one specific gender label, but not quite beyond the hyper-specificity of it all, so they would pick a few different labels. But then, those people would get piled on, it would cause a bunch of fighting and discourse and accusations of bigotry, and all of this was probably really frustrating for older queer people to see. They were watching a bunch of young people pass the "One size fits all" approach to identity, but get stuck at "These few sizes should fit all, but if they don't, we'll just make more until we get everyone!" I wish my younger self could have seen a community of queer people who understood that identity can be, and pretty much always is, an extremely individual experience.

I think this wave of identity-forcing and then identity-policing I grew up seeing made it really hard for me to accept that I didn't really need a one-word answer to my identity if I didn't find or even want one. Before I struggled with my identity, I felt the same way about myself as I do now. I don't think my "gender" has changed with my ideology shift.

I remember liking my brother's toys more than mine. We had action figures, mini Halo figurines, and Legos. I was introduced to gaming through watching my brother play. I can't recall a single toy of my own because they simply weren't as impactful for me. I'm really trying to think right now but I can't remember any of my own toys at all. Before writing this, I think I would have described my childhood gender experience as disliking "girly" things. But now that I really run it through my brain, I realize that I just didn't care about them and I liked my brother's experience better. Any perceived "dislike" of girl things was probably just because I felt like I had to pick a side. I remember calling myself a tomboy despite always dressing like a girl. It was just the way I felt about things.

Even now, most of my favorite things about myself and favorite pastimes are what people consider masculine. I've picked up more feminine traits over the years because I'm more comfortable with femininity, but they're nowhere near the most important things about me or what comes to mind when people think of me. Being a little girl unimpacted by femininity made it hard to think I could just be that, someone who absorbs femininity passively without rejecting it. I love feminine and girly things when I see other people engage with them, but applying them to myself doesn't really work for me. I used to think if I wanted to be "feminine," it would be absurdly more effort and useless to achieve that, but it turns out I just don't like it that much.

I hope this suffices sydney sowwy it took so long

#femininity #gender #gender stuff #queer stuff #diary #digital diary #blog post #eheeheehee

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xqueerneurosisx · 1 year

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No need to respond to this by the way, but I wanted to point out that the original and more correct meaning of proship is simply a person who wants to advertise that they are in favor of shipping, aka they have a "ship and let ship" attitude and don't think people should engage in harrassment. People with self admitted problematic ships are more likely to be proship for obvious reasons (to not be hypocrits), and antis like to confuse the issue by conflating the two, and in general there is a lot of confusion and misinformation out there even among people who are proship.

Being neutral is cool actually. No need to reblog this - stepping into the mess tends to attract people like me who crave discourse lol.

Heyo, I am late because of IRL shit, and I appreciate your concern, but I’m not going to ignore you just because you, or anyone else that finds this wants to open some discourse lmao! If I didn’t want these things I wouldn’t have anon turned on in the first place, my mystery pal! XD

So, for information’s sake, I’m well aware of what I’m doing here. It’s why I made this blog separate from my main. This blog is my separate space FOR discussions like this! There’s no need to worry. Discourse to your heart’s content here.

As for your takes: believe me, I know. Yeep, I was here on tumblr just having fun in the Naruto fandom when the fire nation attacked antis brought their bullshit over here from that website they tried to “scrub clean,” or whatever you want to call it. I know they literally started it by calling themselves anti specific ship names within fandoms first, and I know why and where it lead others to start using the term Proship.

The only two things I would say a little bit differently than you here is:

1) There’s one reason Proship will always differ slightly with each person who uses the label, which has nothing to do with antis lying or twisting words: different people have different interpretations of the fiction they’re applying the term to. Not that the main concept of “ship and let ship” changes much from that, but when you interpret the characters you’re looking at differently than another person who says they’re proship, then you’re going to have slightly different ideas on how TO “ship and let ship,” ya get me? That’s always going to happen, so it might be more helpful to ask “What does proship mean to you?” Instead of just looking for a definition in the most literal way, because you won’t actually find one in the first place.

2) The only thing you have to be careful with when being neutral, on something like this is: you have to make sure that you don’t make it equal being complacent. You can say “I’m neutral” all day, but you’re playing right into the anti side of things, if you look the other way when you actively HAVE the ability and the spoons to report harassment. And that’s not neutral at all. Yeah yeah, and you know I’m not talking about staying away from the dog piles for your own safety and health here. That’s a given.

All this to say, yeah I agree with you, but there’s still a couple of things to keep in mind when coming at these topics. Have a fan-fucking-tastic time of day! ✌🏻

#ask response #fandom discourse #shipping discourse

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