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#do unto others as you would have done unto you
lucabyte · 20 hours
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i am looking at nohats au 👀 please share more
So! NoHats! I'm going to grab you and use this to ramble. A Lot.
The NoHats AU is @samhainian's it's just that I'm the strange little freak who takes the words said unto me and executes on them. But I can still do a little explainer on what our overall thoughts and vibes are. (And, that we are in fact propping up a little box with some cheese under it here. 🪤 Please (PLEASE) feel free to pick up what we're putting down.)
We're far from the only ones exploring a "what if siffrin fucking died" AU, though the main difference with NoHats is the placement of the death in the timeline. Instead of being 'Mal Du Pays Wins' or 'Act 6 encounter goes horribly wrong', the death is… Just after the (literal) falling action.
(This placement is because Sam is a comic book fan who thus has become used to characters being ripped away at the cruelest times by shitty writers. THANK FUCKING GOD adrienne is not that and isat is delightful yippieee, but, back on topic.)
Giving the party the full understanding of What Happened that you get by putting the death after black hole siffrin, but before the A6 encounter leaves an interesting gap to be filled. See, making Siffrin's death very much not Loop's fault means that… this once again reads (when not read as simply a tragedy...) as the universe doing what it sees fit to fulfull Loop's wish… Thus making Siffrin's death Loop's fault again, but only in their eyes. And only in a way they could express if they were honest about who they were…
And this is where having had excuse to waffle about my general Postcanon Loop thoughts the other day comes in handy, because Sam and I have that as our canon-compliant reading to begin with, NoHats plays off of a lot of the same readings of Loop's character. Namely: Uh Oh Somebody's Lying By Fucking Omission Again. (BECAUSE TO BE FAIR THIS TIME… HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU HANDLE THAT?)
Now, neither Sam nor I are fanfic writers, so this has been a little bit trapped in our heads and DMs (and my unfinished art but,)
But our thoughts on how NoHats like… Goes.
Siffrin's death is peaceful, but that does not mean the aftermath of it is. I can't imagine the party takes it well, especially after understanding the circumstances of the Loops. (And, of note, in A5 where nobody had the discussion on what to do with each other's bodies should something happen…) But I'd imagine it traumabonds them somewhat (understatement of the century) and now knowing how the rest of the party feels, they resolve to travel together for the forseeable future.
The party track down Loop to deliver the terrible news, since they were clearly Siffrin's friend too, and invite Loop along to travel at least long enough to (let them grieve) get the burial over with. Loop, here, can be helpful in knowing what Siffrin would've wanted where the party would be at a loss. Loop, I think, takes a bit of a lead on the funerary aspects of it all, because, um. (Performing rites on your own body, huh?)
Then, as things are after a death, life just… Kind of has to continue on as normal. The party travel, pick up Nille, and get to know Loop as this mysterious new person. Maybe in this situation they might stay in Bambouche for a while to give Bonnie more stability since. They are probably taking it the worst. It would've come out of absolutely nowhere for everyone in the party obviously but god, for a kid? For A Kid?
It should be stated NoHats is not intended to be grimdark, just y'know. An exploration of grief. This is also why it's got a bit of a lopsided focus on Bonnie vs the rest of the party because hhrrhghghhghghhhghhghhh <- incoherent
Now, a crossroads.
How does the party discover Loop to be Siffrin? How long does it take. How much have the party embraced them as part of the family (especially with something as intense to bond over as this)?
There's the Odile option. Have her put it together and have to bring it up somehow. This could also be done by Isabeau, perhaps. He's smart. (which. God. If anything's the real Isabeau Torment Nexus it's this)
Then there's the other option batted around by Sam and I. The: The Universe Dislikes Duplicates option.
The items in the house that fzzt away when inspected. The Universe doesn't like there to be two of something, at least not when they're acknowledged. But one of something is just fine…?
Which is to say. I'm not a personal proponent of 'Loop getting their body back'. EXCEPT …… except this one time.
There's only one Siffrin now, so they don't need to be obfuscated to exist.
Consider, if you will. Loop swallowing their guilt for long enough to be comfortable. Falling back into old habits. Without another Siffrin around to compete for the niche of, they actually begin to act like Siffrin again. Not intentionally, it's just… The party is as welcoming as they've always been. And the party swears they keep catching glimpses of a face under all the light.
Then, one day, while still not fully human again, the resemblence becomes undeniable. Loop having not even noticed until everyone looks at them like they've seen a ghost.
Has it been months? How long have they kept up this lie? Is it even a lie, to them? They're Loop. But they were, once, Siffrin.
Even after explaining it, does that make it better or worse?
Bonnie cuts through the betrayed, struck-nerve reactions with a sobering "I missed you."
… Anyway !
Yeah so that's the vibe for NoHats. As for LoopLoops? That's more nebulous. I think it can go anywhere really in the NoHats timeline. I err personally toward the "Loop continuously replays the last 10 minutes before Siffrin's death almost immediately after they find out and have to parkour their ass up the House in the most distressing situation possible to try and get them to hold on, just please hold on." (Remember! Siffrin can remember the contents of Loop's loop backs in the A6 fight!)
But there is the possibility that this happens months, or worse years down the road. One last Loop back. Throw it all away for the chance to just get that one thing you didn't know you even wanted but now know you NEED.
Misc:
Okay miscellaneous time.
This is where I admit that I have a bunch of unfinished NoHats art that I haven't gotten around to yet because I feel like a right tool being so obviously Loop-Centric with my fancontent (I AM . . I REALISE I AM NOT DOING MUCH TO BEAT THE ALLEGATIONS.) So like if people want to see that please say because euaghghghhfh <- the nervous.
this is like the most fucked up place to do isaloop fr. anyway.
one of Sam's mid-game observations that I'm just going to share for no particular reason is that Bonnie's hair shares a bunch of shapes with Siffrin's. The flick up at the top, the 3 pronged shape of the fringe… just something to think about.
Without 2 Siffrins around to compare each other to it'd likely be a lot harder to notice Loop's similarities. Doesn't mean that those similarities don't sting more in this context though.
If you do NoHats without LoopLoops. The concept of this all fading into memory years down the line while they just have slightly-glowy but otherwise regular Siffrin hanging out is fucked up to think about. Just like real grief. Augh
6. a peek into the original dms as a treat from us
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cyanoticfireflies · 19 hours
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Hazbin Group Chat Fic, pt 4
(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3)
* CharChar added KingofDucks to “Hazbin Hotel’s Home for Imaginary Friends” *
CharChar: Hi, dad!
SeXXXySpider: Short king in the house.
SeXXXySpider: Hotel?
SeXXXySpider: Either way ;-)
KingofDucks: Hi Charlie!  And the others.
* Alastor left “Hazbin Hotel’s Home for Imaginary Friends” *
* CharChar added Alastor to “Hazbin Hotel’s Home for Imaginary Friends” *
CharChar: Alastooooooor.
Alastor: Hmph.
KingofDucks: Oh.  He’s here too.
KingofDucks: What’s wrong?  Did the guy stuck in the 1920s not figure out how to change his username?
CharChar: Daaaaaaad.
* Alastor changed his name to CharliesBetterFatherFigure *
CharChar: Alastooooooor.
WhiskeyWhiskers: The non-sexual version of your daughter calls me dad too….
PurpleFemale: Alastor.  Change it back.
CharliesBetterFatherFigure: I suddenly understand the fun of usernames and intend to keep this one.
PurpleFemale: No.
CharChar: Come on, Alastor.  Pleeeeeease?
CharliesBetterFatherFigure: Ugh.  Fine.
* CharliesBetterFatherFigure changed his name to RadioFiend *
SeXXXySpider: Gasp!
SssirP: Gasp!
NaNaNaNiff: Gasp!!!
SssirP: Alastor actually changed his username.
SeXXXySpider: And it’s not awful(?)
RadioFiend: I told you from the start that I knew how to.
RadioFiend: I just didn’t care.
CharChar: Still, this is a nice name for you, Alastor.  Well done.
RadioFiend: Hmmmm.
PurpleFemale: So, Mr. Morningstar, what’s up?  Did you just come to hang around with us?
KingofDucks: You’re the one that’s Charlie’s girlfriend, right?  You don’t have to call me “Mr”….
SssirP: Aww.  That’s sweet.
KingofDucks: And I popped in because I told Charlie I’d use some of the good old *alakazam!* to help everyone decorate their rooms.
SeXXXySpider: Serious?
CharChar: Actually, you were the one who kind of inspired me, Angel.
CharChar: All the pictures that you have posted on your door are soooo cute, and so I thought we should let everyone decorate!
CharChar: Make everyone’s space feel more like home.
WhiskeyWhiskers: But isn’t the whole point of your little experiment that everyone will leave eventually?
CharChar: I mean… I hope so, but then I can just ask dad to do the thing again.
WhiskeyWhiskers: Yeah, fair enough.
KingofDucks: All righty!  So who wants to go first?
CharChar: Oooh!  So mine and Vaggie’s room is actually fine, but can everything just get… an upgrade?  Nice big soft bed, maybe something with a canopy?  And a bigger dresser so that there’s more room for both of our stuff?
CharChar: Vaggie, what do you want?
Vaggie: Um.  I mean, a normal bedroom is fine?
SeXXXySpider: You’ve got the king of the place writing you a creative blank check.  Take advantage of it!
Vaggie: I don’t want anything too wild.  A room is supposed to be a place that’s comfortable and relaxing to be in, right?
Vaggie: Um.  Oh, maybe some built-in bookshelves next to the window seat?  Since Charlie likes to read there, it would be handy.
CharChar: You’re soooooo sweet, Vaggie!
NaNaNaNiff: Icky, romance!
RadioFiend: Truly.
KingofDucks: Well since *I* support Charlie and her girlfriend, I’m more than happy to give everything an upgrade for their room.
CharChar: Thanks, dad!
CharChar: Ummmm, Angel?  How about you?
SeXXXySpider: Any limits?
KingofDucks: I’m me, so
SeXXXySpider: Sold.  So I want the walls to be gray, but not like a dark and dreary gray, kind of a more light silvery gray but the baseboards have to match.
WhiskeyWhiskers: This is going to become a whole thing, isn’t it?
SeXXXySpider: And really fluffy white carpet, not the cheap stuff but the good kind, and it can be a little long but not more than a little so it doesn’t get all tangled around Nuggsy’s feet.
PurpleFemale: We’ve unleashed something unto the world….
SeXXXySpider: And I want a circular bed, not one of the square ones, but it’s gotta be minimum 10 feet across because I want to be able to stretch out across the bed and not have my legs dangling off the ends.  Soft pink – not fuchsia! – blankets with a big pile of white and light pink pillows in different textures and sizes.
SssirP: Oh my….
CharChar: Pentious, why don’t you just, um, take your turn while Angel is… doing his thing.
SeXXXySpider: And you know those foldable screens?  One of those but metal, not the flimsy kind, and if it can be rose gold with an actual rose pattern that would be soooo sick!  And it can go next to a little dressing area – I would need at least five drawers plus two standing clothing bars for my clothes but you don’t have to bother with closets or anything.  Two mirrors in that area might be enough.
SssirP: Ummm.  A large bed for me too, actually – the one Angel described does sound nice.  The Egg Boiz sleep with me, so we need plenty of room, and my tail does dangle on smaller beds.
KingofDucks: That’s fine!
SssirP: Could I also get a drafting table?  That I can use to work on schematics for some of my inventions?
PurpleFemale: No building weapons in this hotel!
SssirP: I won’t, I promise!
SeXXXySpider: And a vanity mirror, one of the ones that’s desk height and has a chair, and the chair needs a comfortable seat because I’ll spend a while there.  Include the lights all the way around the mirror, but soft lights so it’s not super duper bright, and some side drawers and plenty of space on top for all of my stuff.
CharChar: I think we can trust Pentious, Vaggie.
PurpleFemale: Fine.  You can have your fancy table.
SssirP: Thank you!
CharChar: Are you getting all of this, dad?  I know it’s kind of a lot.
KingofDucks: Anything for you, Charlie!
CharChar: Awww!
PurpleFemale: Husk, Niffy?  What about you two?
SeXXXySpider: And can Nuggs have a little pet palace?  One of the fancy ones that has, like, multiple rooms in it.  Something white or soft pink to match the rest of the room, and it needs to be carpeted so it’s soft when he’s laying down, and at least one platform that just open air so he can climb up and still see, and it will need a ramp for him to get up because he’s kind of a porker.  Ooh, and two little spots for his food and water bowls.
WhiskeyWhiskers: I’m easy.  Maybe a nice red, black, and gold color scheme?  Add a little table and a dart board or something? 
WhiskeyWhiskers: (He’s still going by the way.  This is getting hilarious.)
CharChar: Is that all?
WhiskeyWhiskers: Actually.  Can I have one of those wall-mounted bars?  Enough for just a couple of bottles and a little fold-out table?
CharChar: Sure!
WhiskeyWhiskers: Thanks, Princess.  And Princess’s dad.
SeXXXySpider: And fairy lights!  In both a nice soft white and pink, all over the ceiling so that it makes the whole ceiling glow, but also set up so I can have only one area of the room on at a time if I want it, and they can be all haphazard – it actually looks better if they’re not all laid out in neat lines.
PurpleFemale: Do you think Angel is aware that the rest of us are still here?
RadioFiend: My goodness, he certainly has a very clear vision, doesn’t he?
CharChar: I think it’s good that Angel is getting to express his creativity.
SssirP: I want to see his room when it’s done, actually.  It sounds nice.
WhiskeyWhiskers: Very soft and fluffy.
SeXXXySpider: And then in the bathroom the walls should be the same as in the room but a slightly lighter shade of gray so that they don’t match completely, and the sink and tub and stuff should be light pink too so that they keep the same color scheme going.
SeXXXySpider: (@Husk, hell yeah I am!  You can pet me any time, baby~)
RadioFiend: Ah, so he is aware we’re all still here.
WhiskeyWhiskers: No.
KingofDucks: That is certainly a detailed set of instructions.
KingofDucks: It’s fine, though!
NaNaNaNiff: Ehehe, I actually want a smaller room!  Everything is too big!  I have to climb up the bed to sleep in it!  Can you give me a room that’s my size?
PurpleFemale: Oh.  Why didn’t you say anything before, Niffty?
NaNaNaNiff: It’s fiiiiiiiiiine
NaNaNaNiff: But if we can have anything we want~~~
CharChar: Of course you can.
NaNaNaNiff: And lots of storage!  For my things!
SssirP: Do you have a lot of stuff, Miss Niffty?
NaNaNaNiff: I currently have 62 dead roaches!
PurpleFemale: Ew….
SeXXXySpider: Can the water itself be made pink too?  Ooh, and bubbly, but obviously only in the tub.  And can it be scented to smell like strawberries without actually adding any oil or anything too the water because I don’t want it to get gunked up on my fur but it would be soooo relaxing.  Oh!  And a shelf in the shower to hold all of my stuff because I have way too many bottles of wash and shampoo and conditioner.
KingofDucks: All right, so once the spider one is done then that should be everybody!
CharChar: Wait, dad!  You forgot about Alastor.
KingofDucks: Haha
KingofDucks: That wasn’t an accident.
KingofDucks: That was on purpose.
CharChar: Daaaaaad.
RadioFiend: How… charmingly petty.
SeXXXySpider: Oh, and a second vanity set-up in the bathroom, kind of like the first one but this one can be right next to the sink and be standing height so we don’t need to add an extra stool in the bathroom – same thing with plenty of space and instead of drawers a couple of shelves for me to put stuff on and outlets for a hair dryer and stuff like that.
KingofDucks: I just think that if he’s sooooo wonderful that he should be able to take care of himself.
RadioFiend: Maybe I can.
KingofDucks: Then maybe you should.
PurpleFemale: Can’t you two just get along like adults?
PurpleFemale: For Charlie’s sake, at least?
PurpleFemale: It stresses her out when you two are fighting.
KingofDucks: Hmph.  Fine.  I suppose I can do that for my daughter
RadioFiend: By all means.
SeXXXySpider: Oh, and can the bath towels also be white and soft pink and fluffy?  And the extra large towels, not the regular ones, because the regular ones are way too short for me so I end up wrapping up like a towel monster.  Like the sheet towels that you can totally burrito someone in.  *Gasp* And a towel warmer!
KingofDucks: What do you want, then?
RadioFiend: Hmmmmm
RadioFiend: Nothing
KingofDucks: … what?
RadioFiend: I’m perfectly capable of doing my own room.
CharChar: Are you sure, Alastor?
RadioFiend: Of course!
KingofDucks: … Leaving.
CharChar: Thanks again, dad.
KingofDucks: Anything for you, Charlie.
KingofDucks: Let me know when that other one finally finishes.  Just… send it to me, I guess.
CharChar: Will do!
* KingofDucks left “Hazbin Hotel’s Home for Imaginary Friends” *
SeXXXySpider: And now that I think about it, I didn’t even mention the windows yet!  For the bathroom, I’d like a circular window over the bath, just low enough that I can see out of it when I’m standing up in the shower, about the size of a plate, not a big one, but in the design of a wheel so that it’s done in the multiple sections, and make it clear glass instead of the frosted or wavy glass so I can actually see outside if I want to.
WhiskeyWhiskers: He’s still going
SeXXXySpider: And a big window in the main room, like the bay window that Charlie and Vaggie’s room has, but without the seat cushion since I wouldn’t really use it, and can the upper corners of the two smaller side windows be made with white, pink, and red stained glass in kind of a random pattern, but just in the upper outside corners?
SeXXXySpider: (@Husk, I can go all night, baby)
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jibunwo · 10 months
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MADE FUN OF MY SIBLING AND THEY MADE A FACE AND I COULD TELL FROM THEIR FACE THAT THEY WANTED TO PUSH ME DOWN THE STAIRS AND AS I WAS OPENING MOUTH TO TELL THEM I LIKED THEIR IM GONNA PUSH YOU THE STAIRS FACE THEY SAID SHUT UP ILL PUSH THE STAIRS
#this was near the stairs but not so near that they couldve just done it. like they could see the stairs but i was not quite ripe for the#pushing so it was extra funny that i could divine their intentions from just their face#im good at that though. i have an intuition for what sorts of silly violence people are planning to enact unto me#once my friend offered me a warhead. like the candy. and i was like oh no thanks :) and he was like are you sure? and i looked at him and#immediately covered my water cup. he was like HOW THE HELL DID YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS GONNA DO WHAT THE FUCK#and i was like HOLY SHIT YOU WERE ACTUALLY GONNA DO IT I THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY#and that started a longstanding tradition of putting shit in each others waters. he liked to sneak up on me and get me with a nerf dart bc#he knew hed never manage it if i could see his face. asshole got a napkin in my milkshake in low lighting once though. i could always read#him really well with that kinda thing though like he wasnt that surprised when i stopped on the sidewalk and walked to his other side so he#couldnt shove me into the street bc wed known each other for ages at that point but they warhead thing was like. a couple weeks after we met#ALSO SHOVING ME INTO THE STREET WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN DANGEROUS WE WERE IN BUTTFUCK NOWHERE THERE WERE NOT CARS. HE WOULD NOT SHOVE ME INTO#THE STREET TO GET HIT BY CARS. WORST INJURIES I WOULDVE GOTTEN WERE SKINNED KNEES AND THAT WOULDVE BEEN HILARIOUS AND HED NEVER HAVE LIVED#IT DOWN. BUT NO CARS. NO GETTING HIT BY CARS. ALWAYS HAVE TO REMEMBER SHOVING PEOPLE INTO THE STREET GETS THEM HIT BY CARS WHEN I TELL THAT#STORY BC ITS GETS ME INTO THE BUTTFUCK NOWHERE MINDSET WHERE CARS DONT HIT PEOPLE THEY ONLY HIT DEER#what was my point. dont remember. oh well send tweet or whatever#mine
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dr3c0mix · 11 months
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umm is it possible to get a yandere! male!siren x shy!gn reader?
Fish Bait
Yandere!Siren x GN Reader
CW: Kidnapping, assault, minor stalking, murder, thalassophobia maybe?
🌊 You are quite shy when it came to talking to people. You found the whole 'socializing thing' a bit overwhelming considering how rough and loud the rest of the people in your academy was.
🌊 You much preferred staying by the shore with a nice book or drawing book to enjoy the sound of the waves with. The ocean breeze and wailing of seagulls never failed to relax you.
🌊 One day, you heard the strange sound of splashing by the tide pools along the more rocks area of the shore. You thought it was a fish or some other animal that got stuck in one of the pools after the tide retreated and got up to help it out.
🌊 But what you saw was no animal, well, half animal. In one of the pools was a man with the lower half of a fish, his scales glistened wondrously as it splashed in the water.
🌊 The man looked at you with wide eyes and froze. You put your hands up to show you meant no harm.
🌊 "Please! Spare me! I just want to go home!"
🌊 "Calm down! I won't hurt you!"
🌊 He shook with fear as your hands drew closer to him.
🌊 You then pulled him up from the pool and carried him to the sea, he stares at you as you gently lowered him unto the water.
🌊 As soon as his tail was submerged in the sea, he swam out of your grasp and went a distance away from you, part of his head peeking out of the water as his red eyes looked at yours.
🌊 "Well...safe travels.." You mutter, wading back to shore, but the merman peeks his mouth out the water and shouts to you.
🌊 "You're not going to ask anything in return?"
🌊 You look back. "Uhm..no, I'm fine, thanks anyway.."
🌊 "Hmm, you know...you can come with me to my home. I'll grant you the power to breathe under water and you can enjoy the treasures I have there. What do you say? It's the least I can do for what you've done for me!"
🌊 "Nah, I'm good. Be safe though, I heard theres pirates that hunt merfolk nowadays..." You continue your way to shore but the merman swims quickly to your side.
🌊 "Don't you want to be rid of those insolent fools you call schoolmates? I can give you a life people only dream of!"
🌊 "I'm not really..interested..."
🌊 "...You're not?"
🌊 "Yeah..."
🌊 "...Oh..uh..ok...wow-um..well, bye I guess..." The man stutters before sinking his head back into the water.
🌊 You sigh, that was some encounter. You doubt you'd run into something like that again...
🌊 Boy howdy you were wrong.
🌊 You'd spot the strange boy again and again, always hiding back behind the rock or piece of driftwood he was watching you from.
🌊 Sometimes you'd also find trinkets and beautiful stones laid on the shore. You never took them though; you didn't want to take something someone probably lost. The merman would grumble to himself every time you ignored his baits.
🌊 You'd also see him again trapped in the pools, feigning sorrow that poor little him got stuck again during another low tide. What ever shall he do?
🌊 Your days would go on like this, the merman desperately trying to lure you into the sea but to no avail due to your shy and polite nature.
🌊 Him basically stalking you turned to him directly talking to you and trying to get you to go with him in the water.
🌊 "Oh dear, I've been stuck at this reef for ages! I just can't get out! Could you help me please? I promise not to drown you!"
🌊 "No thanks, I'm on the last chapter of my book..."
🌊 "My, my, it's so lonely in the ocean, not a playmate in sight, come down with me so we can really get to know each other yeah?"
🌊 "I don't really wanna get my clothes wet..."
🌊 What you thought was a potentially dangerous creature of the sea became a whiny, attention-seeking drama queen.
🌊 Eventually, you'd learn his name is Caspian. He gave up a bit on trying to lure you and settled on making small talk with you.
🌊 Most of your conversations would revolve around your cultures, how you two lived compared to eachother.
🌊 "So those silver things with teeth aren't combs? Interesting...tell me more!"
🌊 He more or less looked up to you because of the knowledge you'd tell him, even though it was all basic things ever human knows, but he wasn't a human so, I guess it's alright.
🌊 He'd try to crawl onto shore to see what you were reading or drawing. You'd have to scoot away from him because he was dripping wet, and you didn't want your paper to get soiled.
🌊 Please read to him! He loves it when you read out loud the books you bring!
🌊 Life seemed pretty content with you having a friend to talk to, one who's not judgmental of your quiet personality.
🌊 That was until one day, you heard laughing and shouting from your usual spot.
🌊 You saw your classmates, waist deep in the water trying to drag Caspian to the shore, the merman snarling and biting the air around him angrily as the bullies degrade and laugh at his attempts to wriggle out of their grasp.
🌊 "Look at this, boys! With this ugly thing we can buy the whole pub if we wanted to!"
🌊 "H-hey! Leave him alone!" You shouted, dropping your things as you ran to help your friend, but one of them punched you with in the face and grabbed you, about to hit you again.
🌊 "What? You're gonna let this siren kill everyone that comes to this beach? God you're dumb! No wonder why you have no friends!"
🌊 He was about to give another blow when you both heard a shrill cry from the ocean.
🌊 The water pooled with crimson as only the splashing of limbs can be seen form the shore, cries and gurgles are heard from the writhing gore. Your classmate rushes into the water to save his friends before the violent splashing stops and the red patch of bloody water extends towards him and around him until you see him get yanked below into the water, a splash of a fish tail verified in your mind that it was Caspian.
🌊 You could feel your heart pounding as you see the siren lift its head from the water, his blood red eyes staring at you again with razor sharp teeth bared.
🌊 "P-please...don't hurt me..I didn't lead them to you I swear!" You cried as he crawled to your shivering form.
🌊 You held your breath as he pulled you in a wet hug, your clothes getting stained by the salty, bloody water.
🌊 "Oh my darling~ I know you would never hurt me~ But we're not safe here anymore..I fear I'll have to take you somewhere safer...somewhere away from those disgusting creatures."
🌊 You couldn't even react before you were pulled into the water forcefully, you kicked and swam all you could to get him to let go of you, but soon enough, your whole body was under the water. The only thing that was left of you were your things by the sand, and bubbles that rose to the surface before stopping.
🌊 "You'll be safe here my love, my most wonderful treasure~"
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this one was by far one of my favorite bois ive written, he's so mhmhmghghghmmmhmhmmhhh
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doberbutts · 7 months
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Not to be Culturally Christian (tm) on main (impossible, this is a side blog) but I think more people should have paid attention to the "do unto others as you would have done onto yourself" part honestly.
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twohauntedhouses · 2 years
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being alive is like walking through glass aka the response to my animated, medium-length email to someone I have never met was kind, but very succinct and serious, so I have to burn off my fingerprints and go into hiding.
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halcyone-of-the-sea · 9 months
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Songs That Sound Like Sea-Foam (III)
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AU MASTERLIST || FINAL CHAPTER
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PAIRING: Fisherman!John Price x F!Mermaid!Reader
WORDCOUNT: 7.1k
WARNINGS: Angst, blood, death, violence, swords & firearms, abductions, hurt/comfort, torture references, nakedness, needles, gore, etc.
A/N: Alright, and that's a wrap on this mini-series. Biker/mechanic!Ghost is next on the list.
*I do not give others permission to translate and/or re-publish my works on this or any other platform*
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You hit the water and immediately push back to the surface, ignoring the burning of your open wounds. 
“John!” Your high and panicked call can’t be heard above the yells to arms and the distressed wails. “What are you doing?!” Bodies get chucked from the side of the ship and all you can do is watch as they meet the water around you—skin cut open and eyes dead. 
While the sea was numbing your pains, your heart was hurting enough for all of them; hands flailing to try and help keep you above the waves. But everything was so dark, only the light far above giving you a sliver of perception. 
“John!” You scream again, eyes snapping back and forth along the ship. Your arms burned with heat.
“Go!” The words ring out and make you cringe, graveled and ragged—an order. But how could you? Vile grunts and skin meeting skin sound out, no more shirking blade edges or the boom of pistols. Fists meeting ribs, bared teeth.
“The Mermaid was wearing tags! He’s part of the King’s forces!” The leader. “If we can’t have the beast, we’ll have the coin from a turncoat!”
“Deserter!”
“Traitor!” 
“Tie him to the post!”
Your ears twitch and pull at the horrible words, lungs near hyperventilating and black waves going red. If you weren’t able to ingest water, the way your head was slowly sinking would have left you sputtering and choking. 
What will they do to him? Why can’t I help? It was the only part in your life where you regret having a tail, because now you can’t save John in the same way he saved you. Your eyes lock helplessly to the upper deck, far, far above. You can’t drag yourself up or even find the energy to stay above water. 
Your strength was waning quickly—you needed to be tended to; healed. But it felt worse than a betrayal to see not even a glimpse of John’s brown hair or his large arms. To not feel the hold he kept on you. You wanted his lips and his flesh to be pressed into you, to venerate your image as he always did. 
A Hierei that worships at the shrine that is you.
“Curse you,” you say aloud to the men above. The ones that tie your raging love to a post; you hear his low growls and biting expletives like blades in their own fashioned way, the sea garbling your words. “Curse your greed and your violence!” 
But no one listens, and with a heavy and weighed heart, you have to let your dead muscles rest as they give out completely against your will. Sunking under the battling waves, you feel like dead weight; no different than the various bodies around you that John had dispatched. 
You felt useless. 
Above you was John, being tied up and taken—taken to a King that wants your species dead. You don’t want to leave, but the current is snatching you away like seaweed, limp and broken. Whatever John had done to your wounds, the fabric of his shirt was holding fast to your shredded flesh, but it didn’t stop the agony or the inner conflict. 
He was right above you…why aren’t you strong enough to help?
Your eyes flutter, hair and arms floating. 
Everything grows dark, but John never once leaves your mind. Perhaps the Fisherman was worshiping you, but you did the same unto him. 
The eyepatched leader’s words loop in your brain, paired with storm-blue eyes. Gentle praises.
 “...I think he loves the beast!” 
Your body sinks with the rest.
The sand under you is coarse and dry as your eyes barely open, chest rising and falling but shakily, stuttering in its course. Small noises groan in the back of your throat, fingers like stones beside your face. 
Everything hurts, but something has woken you up. Noises. Muttered speaking.
“Now why would she have these?” There was a moment of clinking metal and a low huff. 
You groan louder and curl into yourself more, only to stop when the tears in your flesh pull. Your lungs inhale sharply.
“Oh, Christ,” the accented voice is smooth as it gets closer. “Easy, then, Ma’am. Shite, I was hoping you’d stay under a bit longer, I’m not bloody done yet.” 
Forcing your eyes open, you hiss at the burn of morning light, laying on your stomach with…your brows tighten…were you wearing a tunic? A hand meets the back of your shoulder and you cry out, jerking.
“Woah!” More force is applied to keep you down but it only makes you struggle more. “Please, I’m trying to stop the bleeding!” 
You stall at this revelation like a bird, panting. Muscles tight, you cautiously look over your shoulder to weakly stare at whoever this man was.
Brown eyes meet your own, and a dark-skinned complexion over an oval face. They blink at you with concern and hesitation, sparing only a nervous smirk and a chuckle. You stare widely, saying nothing. 
“I…I’m just trying to stop the bleeding. Whoever got you,” this man trails off, glancing down at your tail. “Well, they did some proper damage.”
“Who are you?” Your voice is damaged from all the screaming you’d done, cracking and frail. You stifle a cough and survey the land with frantic snaps of your orbs. This wasn’t your cove. 
Where were you? What had happened to the ship? To John? Your hand travels to your neck but lands on nothing. It’s like the world stops turning.
The necklace. 
“My name’s Kyle, Miss, but I’m just as well off being called Gaz—” Your hand snaps to his shoulder, wrenching him down in a violent slam to the sand; with a shove of your ailing body, you cross an arm over his chest to pin him. 
Brown eyes widen, and one hand easily raises in a placating manner. You don’t bother to look at the other, your head broken into bits of instances and images of horror.
“Where is it?” Your lips hiss out. You didn’t know you could make a sound like that. 
Kyle, dressed in a fine outfit of a Bookkeeper, furrowed his brows at you. He didn’t look off-put by your brashness, or by the fact that you were of the Merfolk. 
“I’m sorry, Ma’am…I’m not following. Where’s what, exactly?” There was a glinting at his throat, and you snatched at it with a glare and snarl of ‘thief’ on your tongue. 
A blade presses into your side and you freeze. Kyle stares up at you with a frown on his face, body tight. “I think you should let that go, Miss, yeah?” 
The metal discs are the same as John's, but they hold a different name entirely. 
“Kyle Garrick, Sergeant, 141st company under the King.”
“One Hundred and Forty-First?” You whisper in a hushed voice and the blade loosens from you. Mouth opening and closing, you forget for a moment what Kyle is. Your eyes go glossy with hope. “You know John?” 
Eyelids blink at you in astonishment and all at once the knife is sheathed at his hip once more. Gaz gapes, his slight stubble shifting on his face as he talks slowly. 
“Yes, I do…how do you know the Captain? No offense, but I didn’t peg him for the type to run off with…well…” he trails, chuckling. “Not run exactly, then, is it?” 
You glower and push back, flinching at your aches but waste no time in speaking frantically to the man as your tail flaps. If he was on the same ship as John was, they certainly knew each other well; Kyle had to assist you.
“Please, you need to help me,” The man’s face goes serious and he pushes himself up, “—there’s been a terrible event. John has been taken, don’t you understand?” Your hands grasp at his collar, forgetting to ask about the missing necklace in your mounting hysteria. “They took him. They’re bringing him back to the King and it’s all my fault!” 
You don’t know if it’s the pain or the fatigue, but your emotions spill from you in droves, silver tears falling like drips from a blacksmith's smelter to the beach of this foreign place. Your body feels unable to hold itself up—so much blood lost. 
Gaz gains a sheen of panic at your state, gripping your shoulders lightly above the given tunic. 
“Now, now, Ma’am, steady. You’ve lost a lot of blood, eh? We need to get you sorted.” But internally your words disturbed him. John had been taken? His Captain? And he had known a mermaid?
“I don’t need to be sorted,” you mock, shaking him, “I need my John back! And you’re going to help me.” 
Kyle gazes around awkwardly, clearing his throat and trying to comfort you as his upper half gets forced back and forth.  
“First,” he stops you with a firm squeeze on your shoulders, “we’re getting you stitched and wrapped, Ma’am. If what you’re telling me is real,” Gaz pauses, glancing at the sea lapping at your tail, “then I need to get in contact with the others.” 
Your body slightly sags, panting and shaking. While you should have asked who the others were, your adrenaline was too great to allow you to think above the fact that Kyle was going to help you. He had known John—that was enough for you to know he was a good person. 
“Easy,” the man mutters, face pulled in concern. There’s a moment of tense silence before Gaz shifts a hand to the pocket inside of his tweed frock coat, slipping to the side of his green notch vest. He blinks his brown eyes at you before he lightly takes John’s necklace from the depths of his clothes. Kyle presents them as your shoulders loosen with a small sliver of comfort. “I believe you were looking for this, yeah?” 
He spares a friendly, boyish, smile.
Your fingers brush his as you delicately take the metal up, fingertips weeping with torn flesh. Staring at them, you bring the item to your lips and kiss it gently after a moment of agony, a few more tears slipping down your cheeks. 
“Oh, John,” you whisper, “you fool, what have you done?” 
“I’ll be needing to move you, Ma’am,” Gaz clears his throat and looks back to the grass-coated road. The beach where you had washed up was near the bottom of a slight hill, and along with sand, there were a lot of pebbles. The wind was chilled. “I was just finishing up with a temporary binding when you woke. We can speak more when I get the larger wounds stitched.” 
You see his gaze fall down you once more. 
“I’d think there’s a lot to catch up on.” Shuffling John’s necklace over your head, you allow Kyle to take bandages from his Gladstone bag which he had brought down from the road with him. He says he found you on the beach unconscious not five minutes before you woke back up as he takes out John’s tunic strips before packing the wounds with fresh material. 
“You stopped?” You ask quietly, body shaking. “Why?” 
“Well, I left the same time that the Captain did,” he explains, looping fabric around your tail as you shudder and clench your teeth at the long cuts over your scales. Kyle spares you a glance before continuing. “Same reason too. The minute innocent beings were being hunted, everyone in the One Hundred and Forty-First deserted. They weren’t too happy with us, I’d imagine. I do what I can to help anyone, regardless of species.” 
Gaz pulls back and finishes up, brushing his hands on his folded legs and sighing. 
“We all separated and led our lives the best we could—got jobs, hid ourselves, the like.” While the story was fascinating, as John was rare to talk about the King or his service beyond a clenched jaw, you truly were suffering from blood loss.
Every moment it became harder to keep your upper-half vertical and your eyes open. Gaz’s words slurred in your eardrums as the sand under your hands got pushed back by pressure like a rock being dragged. Your head must have swayed, because the next moment you’re being lifted with a grunt and a steadying of feet.
“Can’t say I’ve ever carried a mermaid,” Kyle grumbles to himself, blinking down at your form as our head rests limply on his chest. “Certainly not one that knows Price of all people.”
You focus on your breathing as he ascends the hill, going slowly and holding your form tight so as not to drop you. While not John’s size by any means, the man was still strong in a more lean and lithe way where your Fisherman’s was upfront and bare with it. 
You’re carried down the trodden path to a lone house on the upper hill above the water, small and quaint, it’s only a single square room. 
Truly this event speaks to your luck—how on earth had you found perhaps one of the only men on the planet that knew John and sympathized with magical creatures?
Kyle sets you back on his bed softly, pillows pressed into indents of your head and cheek. 
“Alright then,” he sighs, “let's get this figured out, yeah?” 
You’re offered food and water, but all you care about is sleep. Your tail hangs off the end of the bed and your fins ache with torn skin. Without even looking at your scales, you know they’re damaged immensely. Most will be left with great scars. 
Merfolk could be called vain in their lifetime, and the sentiment wasn’t entirely untrue. You were beings of elegance and beauty—ethereal lustfulness hardwired into your DNA. Image was important to you, and this loss was great. 
But the loss of John hurt more than any torture someone could inflict on you; any wounds. You needed him back. 
As Gaz prompted you to tell your story, which you did with failing consciousness, your hand traveled to your necklace to grasp it tightly. Lips quivering. When the first push of the man’s needle entered your hard flesh, you never even felt it.
You awoke for the second time, once more, to the sound of speaking. 
“Well, he’s sure gotten up to it while we’ve been away! Fuckin’ bastard.” This accent didn’t belong to Gaz, and thus your eyelids pushed back with slight unease. Had John’s Sergeant sold you out? With a struggle, you blink back to reality only to find a pair of bright blue eyes stuck on you. 
For a moment you startle, those shades so similar to John’s that for a moment you had forgotten what had transpired. Then the pain in your tail strikes up and you balk back sharply. 
“Soap!” Gaz hisses, grabbing the large and built man away from the bed. “Get the hell away from her, would you? Christ, she’s been through enough without having to look at that face when she wakes up, Mate.” 
“What in the hell does that mean?” Soap, as he’d been introduced, was the epitome of a blacksmith—ash still on his square jaw and his large black apron tied at a stiff waist. His arms were as bulky as your head and while he was shorter than Gaz he made up for it in sheer muscle. 
Blue eyes darken with annoyance before they swivel back to you, but they lighten just the same when they spot your fear-spiked expression. 
“Sorry about that, Little Lady. Just curious, is all.” You swallow the saliva in your throat and turn to look at Gaz in question. “Not every day somethin’ like this happens.”
“Johnny ‘Soap’ MacTavish,” the man offers, rubbing at his neck apologetically. “Served with John and I. You can trust him.” 
You blink and turn back to Johnny, and, sure enough, around his neck were the common silver discs that Gaz and John wore over the tunic and apron. 
“A…” You try to remember what your Fisherman had told you about human customs. With a frown, you carefully extend a hand and hold it aloft while your tail rests and your other limb keeps you up. “A pleasure, Johnny.” 
A wide grin meets your eyes and a hand is clapped into your own; shaking it firmly as yours remains limp. 
“Ah, please, the pleasure’s all mine.” When his grip leaves you look down at the various stitches and thick wrappings around your body before thinning your lips and gazing back at Gaz. He stares and tilts his head when you lock eyes with him. 
“Thank you, Garrick. I…I owe you a large debt.” He’s already shaking his chin at you.
“Negative, Ma’am,” Kyle denies. “The only thing we need to be focusing on is getting the Captain back. Simon should be along by the evening.” 
“Sure the man’ll show?” Johnny raises a brow and stands to his full height, going over to the small table in the middle of the room and sitting down with a huff. He picks up a flagon and takes a sip of ale. “He’s far off cuttin’ stone.” 
“I sent a rider out and said it was urgent. He should be getting it about now, yeah?” 
“Well, hell, I’d sure hope so else we’re out of our favorite Ghost. Can’t have that.” You watch and stare at the ease these two converse with the other, years seem to bleed from their mouths like waves in water. They had it all figured out, and noticeably, they weren’t at all panicked. 
“How are the both of you so calm?” You can’t help but ask. Brown and blue turn to furrow their brows at you.
“They took the bloody Captain. Only person worse than that to steal away would be Simon.” A chuckle. “I’m more worried about the bastards themselves than him.” And it was left at that. 
At times throughout the day, Gaz would bring you bread to nibble on to help settle your stomach, water, and ale whenever you needed it. When the dryness of the air and the fireplace got too warm for you, Johnny would be the one to carry you down the hill to the water where you’d soak your wounds in the surf. In those moments you could finally take in the pure silence under the waves and let your anguish take hold.
But you always had to break the surface at some point, shimmy into the dry tunic that Soap offers with respectfully averted eyes, and let him carry you back with his bulky arms. 
As it always did, the water let your wounds heal far faster than a man’s, though the aches were still intense. 
John’s eyes would not leave you. His crown of stars or the lantern light on his face—the way he whisked you away from danger and put himself dead center into it. Keeping you to his large chest as he held aloft a sword in your honor.
 “...I think he loves the beast!” 
Oh, and you loved right back and you hadn’t told him. 
It’s hours upon hours later when the door is shoved open as you sit up in the bed; tail limp and dim on the floor below. You look up in shock at the man whose frame nearly takes up the entire doorway, shoulders wide and thighs vast under work pants and a large tunic, cowl over his head and clasped with a brooch at his left pec. Under shined a deep brown gaze and pale brows, but his entire lower face was covered by cloth. 
Intimidating, his visible expression was entirely blank. You wondered if perhaps a vampire had walked into this place without proper entry, but then you remembered the man Johnny and Gaz mentioned. 
Simon. Ghost. 
Well, he certainly fits the part, stone dust on his clothes and large boots stacked with scrapes. A Stonemason.
“There’s the man!” Johnny exclaims, raising his hand which has another cup of ale in it as he’d downed the other some time ago. 
“Where’s Price?” Deep was Simon’s voice, and he spares you a glance but nothing more. Gaze falling down your tail with hidden flickers of intrigue and wafting back up to stop at John’s necklace. His brows pull in as he turns. 
“Gone—taken to the King,” Gaz explains from where he leans against the fireplace, face serious. 
“Fuckin’ hell,” Simon grunts, walking in and closing the door behind him. “Where was he last?” It’s mildly amusing to you that he doesn’t seem bothered or even surprised by a mermaid in Gaz’s home. 
“Just off Harpies Nest,” Johnny pipes in, itching at shaved sides of his scalp. “Where the old beasts used to fly from.” 
“I’m guessing she’s the reason for that, then?” Everyone was anxious to act, even you. These men were close, and while circumstance had forced them away from one another the loyalties still lay. 
“Affirmative. Price’s been in good company, seems.” A stale glare is sent his way and he chuckles and puts up his hands. 
“Is there anything we can do?” You ask, looking at each in turn. Seeming to still hold that ingrained ranking that all men in the service do, Johnny and Gaz look to Simon. Brown eyes blink slowly, turning to look at you in a narrowed thought.
After a while, he speaks in a monotone.
“They’ll be bringing ‘em to the castle to stand trial. We’ve already lost a day’s time and there’ll be no ship that can sail as fast as we need it to.”
“By land?” Gaz wonders. Johnny’s shaking his head.
“How do you expect we get the Lady through that?” Eyes turn to your lack of legs. Body stiff, you huff and grit your teeth. If they thought you weren’t going along, that was foolish of them.
“I can swim to the docks,” you pause, “but you’ll have to tell me the way, for I do not know it.” 
John had talked about docks—places ships went to rest. You’re sure you can make it, even like this. You had to. 
Johnny stares before he chuckles twice, sharing a glance with the others and motioning to you. “I like ‘er.”
Gaz and Simon look at one another with a side-eye, before Kyle sighs and shakes his head. Simon hooks his thumbs into his pants and huffs out, “Sure you’re up for that?” 
“I’m helping John.” Pushing, you meet those brown eyes head-on and steel yourself. “I need him back.”
There’s no further fight, and Ghost takes everything you say at face value. “Fine.” 
And that was that.
The plan was so stupid you wondered if these men had gone brain-dead, but inside the castle dungeons, John had no way of knowing that. 
He frowned deeply as his pounding skull tipped back to connect with the cobblestone wall, blood dried over the right side of his face. A growl on his lips as the chains keep his hands high above him and hanging as his backside stays seated on the floor. His limbs had long since gone numb, circulation cut out in an uncomfortable state of numbness. 
But inside of him, there was a sense of accomplishment despite everything. He’d gotten you away from dirty hands—away from hooks. Away from danger. 
John could die happy with that.
On the ship, before he’d been brought to the castle, the crew had tied him to the mainsail mast with a ragged rope that had skinned his flesh in just minutes of the rocking waves. They’d taken his vessel as well, and all of his belongings were confiscated in the docks. From there it had been amused jabs at his stomach with fists and knife-throwing practice. 
John had cuts along the sides of his arms and the meat of his thighs—clothes shredded and torn from blades. His forehead had a long gash from the scalp to the temple, dried now but pulling with red aggression. 
The fisherman hums under his breath and thinks only of you. 
It was a fact that you had brought music into his life; a melody of waves and scales that could not be denied. Songs that sounded like sea-foam and a lapping of a tail across the water. When he’d seen you that day from behind the black rocks, John had lost a piece of himself to your wide eyes and tilted head. That spark of connection. 
He had never been so thankful for choosing a new place to cast his nets, because he’d unwittingly caught the greatest creature he ever could have—one people have been running after for years. 
You. 
John’s lips pull in a tiny smile, eyes going soft. Above him his chains rattle and his arms flinch, wounds burning, but for the life of him, he can’t stop smiling. Wherever you were, he hoped you were safe and that he gave you the best chance of survival. He hoped you could forgive him.
Footsteps echo off the ground, and John looks over to the iron bars of his cell stiffly, mask re-falling to his stern face like a curtain. Two guards in armor clink down the hallway, expressions hidden by hoods and cloth. One produces a rusted key from his belt and slips it into the door, the metal rattling as it gets forced back and forth until the telltale click signifies the opening of the lock. 
“Finally letting me out, then?” John speaks dryly, voice holding a rasp. 
No one answers, and soon John’s chains are dropped and his arms seized. Yanked up, the fisherman grunts in pain as his legs drag behind him across the cobble—being taken somewhere. Probably, if John had to guess, the noose. 
Desertion isn’t something you can get out of shy of a life sentence; to hell or to a cell was entirely up to the King. And the King wasn’t entirely fond of John and his One Hundred and Forty-First. 
John was forced out into the open courtyard, a dichotomy of brightly flowering bushes and expensive finery to the platform placed in the very middle. The brunette's lips thinned at the sight of the large and imposing body made of wood and rope belonging to the gallows, a grim reaper of earthly material. There would be no great fight from him, no roar of a death rattle, just a kicking of his feet and tight wheezes, but no more. 
He knows his final thoughts will be of you—what you’re doing right now, how you’ll live the rest of your life. John hopes you don’t cry for him. 
The two guards shove him forward, and already a crowd has formed below the viewing platform for the monarch himself, who sits in all of his finery. Wyvern leather for his gloves, unicorn horn for a scepter, and…John’s eyes go tight, scales that make up a crown of opal and gold. Vibrant scales. 
Unmistakingly Merfolk, anyone who’s met one of the species would know it. It has the same shine as the one John holds in the pouch on his belt; the fisherman clings to the fact that, against all of it, you were still with him in even a small sense. You’d be with him. 
So John grits his teeth and glares up to the dias defiantly as the guards hold him under the noose, shoving his head to the side to grab the rope. He feels no fear.
“Fuckin’ watch it, Muppet,” the fisherman hisses, snapping his head to the side to stare into the glinting brown eyes from under the hood. He pauses, brows furrowing. “What…?” 
As his hands are forced behind him, they’re not tied as the excited murmuring from the crowd begins, the King’s forward-leaning attention. 
They’re given a knife. 
John hides his surprise and looks over to the other guard as he fits the noose over his neck. Amused blue, and around his neck the glint of silver discs. 
“Oh, bloody hell, you’re takin’ the piss,” the former Captain growls lowly. He knows those damned eyes, just as he knows his former Lieutenant’s. 
MacTavish and Simon. 
“Chin up, Captain,” Johnny jokes under his breath hidden by cloth. “Show’s about to start. Let’s give ‘em a proper scare, yeah.” 
Blue eye glare, but they lack the venom. A barred-teeth smile grows. How had this happened? Johnny steps back and goes to his side, the wood under their feet creaking. The crowd falls silent, looking to the King for the verdict. 
The King’s fingers raise and John memorizes his face in that instant…because it’s only then that he sees Gaz.
Gaz, who was on the upper terrace of the courtyard’s walls, holding a musket with the stock trained to his cheek; body still and ready—tutored to a perfectly motionless trance. There aren’t any guards to be seen near him. It’s a moment of pure silence, a ruling energy. The crowd is waiting for the King to verbalize an answer that he’s never able to give. 
As the monarch’s lips open there is an eardrum-bursting boom that shatters the call for John’s doom and instead spells his own in his very castle from one of his former men. A poetic ending, John would say, but he’s unable to verbalize it as he’s suddenly falling through the gallows hatch as Simon reems on the handle. 
“Knife!” It’s all the Ghost yells in warning.
With a rush of air, there’s a split second to cut the rope before it breaks his neck, and with a snapping motion, John perfects it in an instant—instinct as sharp as any blade that could be put into his hand. He hits the ground with a loud grunt of pain and struggles to sit up until Johnny and Simon jerk at him from where they’d jumped down as well. Not a second too soon, as lead balls from rival guns were already hitting the gallows. 
Not all the guards were dead, then, and apparently, the three had known that would be a possibility.
John would have to scold them later. 
“What in the hell is going on?!” The fisherman barks, but he’s being dragged before he shoves their hands off of him and follows to where they beeline into the fleeing crowd.
“What?” Johnny belts out laughter. “No ‘thank you?’ We just saved your neck!”
“Left!” Simon shouts, and although John’s body can’t take much more, they all dart into the cover of the castle walkways. “Make for the docks—the Sergeant’s meeting us there.”
“Bloody fucking Christ!” John growls but quickly goes onto the most important topic. “She’s behind this, isn’t she?” Johnny’s smirk only confirms it.
“Proper girl you’ve got there, Gaz found her on the shore. Else we’d never have heard about it all before you were dead and gone.” John blinks at him. “Getting reckless without us, now?”
The former Captain ignores the remark. “Where is she?” 
“Oi!” Ghost hisses, looking over his shoulder as the three hurry on as shouting rings from behind them. “Get your head in the game. Focus on not getting shot, yeah?” 
Brown meets blue. 
“You’ll see ‘er soon.” Simon ends, dead eyes shifting to a form that rampages through the hallway behind them. “Behind!” He calls loudly, and John ducks just as a knife is thrown with pinpoint accuracy. A sound of a body hitting the floor echoes over the distant screaming and calls of alarm. 
The King is dead. 
All of the men reach their destination by sheer luck and the knowledge of how to use a blade, cobblestone leading to open streets and back alleys. Finally, the wide stretch of sea was visible, and a shadow slinked out of a corner quickly. 
“Hell,” Gaz blinks at them, “do you think I’ll ever be let back into the castle?” 
Johnny pants a laugh. “You’ll be lucky to get into the province, ya sneaky Bastard. Fine fuckin’ shot.” 
Simon looks at them. “Gaz, Johnny, get to it.” 
They’re by the open water of the dock, long wooden walkways stretching out with ships shifting in the waves. John wonders if his boat is here in the back of his mind, but his eyes are already combing the waves greedily in search of you. 
Were you here? Oh, he hoped you weren’t. You’d be placing yourself in the middle of a very real and present danger. 
“Get to what?” John questions, looking at each man in turn. “What ‘ave you planned, eh? Seems I’ve missed the meeting where we decide to assassinate the bloody monarch in broad daylight.” 
Gaz places a hand on his shoulder as he shimmies past. “Best to leave the heavy lifting to the ones who can stand fully, Captain.”
“Aye,” Johnny confirms. “You’ll want to be here more than anywhere, bet ya.” 
Simon shares a look with the blacksmith and grabs John by one shoulder, leading him to the water as Johnny takes the other. The brunette blinks quickly in confusion and grunts an expletive. 
“Get your hands off of me you pair of—!”
“Have fun!” Johnny and Simon both shove him into the water with a final push and dart off like wisps. 
Water rushes into his ears, covering his head and soaking his clothes before it drags him under. John’s arms flailed to propel him back to the surface. A jolt later, his head is breaching the water with a venomous glare and a barked order on his lips to a vacant audience. The boys had already sprinted off to who knows where.
“Son of a…” John trials, weak legs kicking to keep him afloat. Something brushes his thigh as water drips from his nose, cleaning away the blood with a reddish tint to the liquid.
The fisherman startles, head snapping down just as your hands grasp at his abdomen, sliding up as you press your lips deeply into his in one swift motion. He gasps, grip instinctually moving to hold onto the small of your back. 
You press into him tightly, pushing every emotion into the locking of your mouths with desperation and longing. Sighing deeply into the kiss, John melts into you as your tail brushes his legs, torn fins visible and shimmering stitches pulling at flesh. Scales glint somewhat brighter under the waves, water dripping along your shoulders and wetting your hair. 
John brings you closer when he realizes it’s your form around him, eyes fluttering closed and fingers weaving behind the base of your skull. It’s as if the world stills for that quick and reverent second as if everything is right. The both of you break the kiss with soft eyes, and after a moment of staring your chest releases a chuckle; hands coming up to capture your fisherman’s cheeks, weaving through those beard hairs once more.
The brunette stares at you and lays his forehead into yours, not knowing what to say. A smile plays on his lips.
“...It seems my fisherman had more of a reckless side than I anticipated,” you speak for him, whispering into the air. Your eyes flicker over the cuts and bruises visible on his pale flesh and a flash of fear alights in your expression. “Oh, John…What have they done to you?”
“Just scratches,” the man reassures delicately. “It’s alright, Love. I’ll live.” 
But you both know this conversation can’t happen here. With a few more pecks of kisses to his lips, you ask in an ethereal voice, “Do you trust me?”
Your hand is locked to his wrist, pulling him along the waters as your head tilts at him and tail sliding along his flesh. 
John wastes no time. “Of course.” 
Lips flicker to a small, loving, grin and then you drag him under the water. 
“Do they hurt?” He asks you carefully, running a calloused hand along the tears in your fins you know will never heal fully. You sit on the rocks below Gaz’s home, the water still dripping off of both of your bodies. 
Out farther in the water the three other men are sailing back in John’s fishing boat, a few minutes out. You blink down at him and move a hand to shift his jaw upward to you, humming.
“Not when you touch them like that,” confessing, you keep close to him, held tightly under the crook of his arm and breathing in that scent of rope and wood oil. You practically vibrate with comfort, all of your worries able to be put aside at last. 
John looks down at you and chuckles, putting a deep kiss on your scalp and taking a deep inhale. 
“Cheeky,” he teases. You smile.
“And yours?” Your voice speaks out in question as the water brushes your tail. 
The man peels back to look down at you slowly. “Already better…I owe you, Sweetheart.” 
Huffing, you shake your head, “You owe me nothing. The only reason you were there was because of me.” 
John’s brows furrow, taking your chin in his fingers and tilting your head back to him. He stares into your eyes for a long while until your face starts to heat with emotion, blinking up at him innocently. His blues dart over the healing cuts and marks with hidden emotion.
“I’d do it again,” John whispers. “A million times over, you hear? I’d be a bloody fool not to.” 
He kisses you as you both wait in the setting twilight for the others, bloody and beaten—more scar tissue than anything else—but still your John. 
“Thank you,” he mutters into your lips, and then again when he nips at your flesh. The man plays with his necklace at your collarbone as he traces patterns in your scales and smirks when you shiver. 
He wonders how he got so lucky when the others anchor the boat near the shore, hopping off and wading the rest of the way to the beach. John kisses your forehead and says he’d be right back. 
You watch him with glinting eyes as he walks over to his men, taking each in a heartfelt handshake and conversing honestly. Your eyes blink at the care they display for one another and raise a hand when they peel off, back up to Gaz’s home to rest. 
They reciprocate and disappear atop the hill. 
What’s he doing? You ask as you watch John climb aboard his vessel and rummage around his fishing barrels, opening some and tossing the tops to the deck. Hands shifting along the rocks, you can’t hide the amusement or affection in your eyes at the sight of his ramping annoyance. What was he looking for? 
Your fingers go up to play with his necklace and watch. 
You can’t say you feel much heartache at the loss of your cove—even with the king dead, you were still hunted for your scales—though you had grown to see it in a new light. The place was only a home when John was there, and you knew wherever you went as long as he was there it would be alright. 
The both of you wouldn’t let anything happen to one another. 
John comes back carrying something tucked in cloth, a small parcel held in one hand and longer than it is wide. Your interest is immediately piqued, curiosity straining your eyes. 
He holds it out to you with a mischievous glint and a smirk. 
“Go on,” John motions. Blinking at him, your brows furrow as you carefully take the item from his hands, settling it in your lap before you shift the cloth away. 
Your fingers go to cover your mouth, small gasp entering the air. 
It was a golden box, engraved with movements that resemble lace and waves—shimmering in the low light. 
“John,” you stutter, “what is…?”’
“Open it,” the man insists, kneeling down in front of you as if his muscles didn’t ache. “It’s the reason I was late that day.” John grunts, rubbing at the bottom of his beard and watching intently; crinkles beside his eyes. 
You stare for a moment with burning tear ducts before you grasp ahold of the lid and open it after running a digit over the make. 
Inside sits blue velvet and, strangely, your own scales, but atop that…the blinding gold of a pair of twin cuff bracelets—stones the same shade as your tail. It was perhaps the most elegant piece of jewelry you had ever seen. 
For a solid minute you’re rendered speechless, mouth opening and closing as your tail hangs limp in the low tide. Chucking, John takes the pieces out and your ears twitch to the sound of your scales clacking together like glass. 
“Why would you…” You can’t make sense of it.
John slips them over your wrists and you gape in wonder. They fit just perfectly. 
You look up into your Fisherman’s face and feel tears drip down your chin. A hard hand comes to wipe them away as you laugh through a sniffle. 
“Do you like them, then, Love?” He asks lowly, beard pulled back in a smile. 
“Yes,” you say immediately, giggling. “How could I not? John, they’re lovely. Far too beautiful for me.” 
The former Captain grunts and his brows pull in, frowning. “Now why would you say that?” He brings your hands to his lips and kisses your knuckles. “You’re the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen. Can’t make me change my mind on that, eh?” 
Your eyes bore into him, lips parted. After a moment your face feels like it’s on fire and you cover your cheeks. 
John laughs loudly, grabbing your arms and lightly squeezing the flesh before taking your grip back down to your lap. You smile so widely you’re afraid your face might crack open.
“No need to hide,” he hums. “Let me see that face.” 
“You’re good to me, John.” His face softens, wrinkles fall away, and his chest swells with pride. You kiss his lips and whisper, “I bare my soul to you.”
It wasn’t an ‘I love you’ but something far more precious. 
The man’s face deepens with devotion, gruff figure more than easily leaning over yours as you’re carefully laid back to the tiny pebbles behind you—a hand behind your head and at the swell of what would be a hip.
In the darkening night, the sun shines its dying light across the waves just like the extending fingers of John’s firm grip; dragging you into him as sea-currents would. Wrapping you both in kelp and a salty grave. His voice is the grating of sand, the slide of a rope across a wooden deck. 
“Then I’ll take care of it for as long as I live.”
Your fisherman damns you to a crypt of land and air, and you couldn’t worship it more. To live and to die beside him is to have existed just as you should have.
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frenchkisstheabyss · 9 months
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♡ 𝖘𝖓𝖊𝖆𝖐𝖞 𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖙𝖑𝖊 𝖉𝖊𝖛𝖎𝖑 ♡
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♡ Ahem, @deathbyyeekies requested "the works" from me with a needy Mingi fic and, ya know, the works shall be delivered unto you, darling ♡
♡ Pairing: song mingi x curvy!fem!reader
♡ Summary: After a passionate weekend together you start ignoring Mingi's texts and calls which only makes him crave you even more
♡ Genre: smut sprinkled w/ some plot
♡ Word Count: 1.9kish
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♡ Warnings: strong fem dom vibes but Mingi & reader are sorta switch at certain points, mostly he's down bad for you though, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), possessiveness, unprotected sex, creampie
♡ A/N: This is a request so there are some mentions of the reader being smaller than Mingi height wise though she's still a curvy babe!
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What had he done? What cardinal sin had he committed that made him worthy of damnation? You ignore him entirely while other women kneel before him, worshiping the very ground he walks on. There are women who’d do anything for him. Follow his commands without question but you, somehow, had deemed him unworthy of such blind loyalty.
No matter how hard he tried to bury his memories of that weekend you spent together, his mind always drifted back to images of you beneath him on your bed, your teeth biting down on smeared, puffy red lips as he collected drops of arousal from your sweet pussy with his curved tongue. He knew it was all in his head but he swore he could still taste you on the back of his tongue, feel you dripping down the back of his throat. His heart nearly beat out of his chest at the thought of it. You were an addiction and the withdrawals were a bitch.
But you, for reasons he laid awake at night trying to uncover, hadn’t called him after. Five days went by without as much as a text from you. The guys all told him to forget about you but he couldn’t. Whatever you had done to him, the all consuming thirst you’d given him for your plush body, couldn’t be undone. It could only be satisfied by you and you alone. So here he is, the man who towered above you when he picked you up at the club that night, on his knees in your living room, fingers stroking your plump hips through the silk of your robe.
None of this had been intentional on your part. At least not at first. You knew his reputation when you met him. It had never crossed your mind that you might become something special to him. No other girl had. You’d simply accepted that you were no different and gave in to him anyway. Anything to feel his body against yours, the bass of his deep voice whispering filthy professions into your ear that made the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. It never occurred to you that he’d pursue you the way that he has and, once it started, you couldn’t bring yourself to put him out of his misery.
The longer you ignored him the more needy he became. You went from having only received flowers from a man once or twice in your life to coming home to dozens of roses every day. There were love notes ancient poets would envy and gifts that cost more than you made in a month. The man was groveling, doing everything he could, until you finally gave in and asked him to come to your place. “Missed me?” you ask, your voice much too sweet for a creature so cruel, as you run your fingers through his hair, nails soothing an itch on his scalp he hadn’t noticed needed scratching before now. 
“Mmhmm” he hums, his full rosy lips brushing along the tender meat of your inner thigh. Your body shivers at the contact. Beneath all of the games, you’d missed him as much as he had you. It’s why you’d spent every night running your fingers over your clit, coming with his name flowing from your lips in the form of hushed moans. It’s why you have nothing beneath this robe that reveals enough of your soft body to make him salivate. You knot your fingers at the base of his scalp, tilting his head back to lock his eyes onto yours.
He’s ridiculously handsome, the prettiest boy you’ve ever laid eyes on, and he’s at your mercy. “You want me, Mingi?” He can only laugh to himself, nibbling at your heated flesh, his tongue leaving strips of moisture along your thigh. “No. Not want” he pants, strong hands sinking into your hips to bring your core so close to him that you can feel his breath warm against your clit, “Need.” You drape your left leg over his shoulder, thigh rocking against his cheek, “Show me.” Mingi can’t tell if that’s a show of dominance or submission, it’s honestly a bit of both, but it’s all he needs to hear to place his tongue along your slit.
“Mingi…” you gasp as it swirls into you, teasing your walls. You tighten around him, coating his tongue like he knew you would. “Sweetest pussy…” he slurps, licking between your folds, his tongue circling your stiff clit, “I’ve ever tasted. Fuck, baby. Mmmm.” Mingi’s hands are locked onto your hips, his hold inescapable as he purses his lips around your clit, suckling at it so deliciously that your legs begin to shake. Each time he flicks his chin up pleasure pulses through your veins.
Freeing one of your hips from his death grip, he brings his middle and pointer fingers to your entrance, splashing in the wetness of your soaked pussy before burying them inside of you. Your eyes fall closed as he hypnotizes you with the rhythm of his wrist. “One more?” he asks, spreading you out enough for his ring finger to join the others. “Yes…please” you whine, basking in the pressure brought on by the introduction of his third finger. This is what you both dreamed of night after night.
You drenching his chin in your juices. Him claiming your pussy with his fingers. Beginning again to own each other. To consume each other. Mingi mercilessly knocks against your sweet spot, having committed to memory the precise angle it takes to make you unravel. With his knuckles grinding hard against your slit, you can feel yourself getting ready to come and he does too. 
“You’re so close aren’t you, beautiful? Ready to come all over my fingers?” 
“Yeah…” you whine, knees growing weaker by the second.
“Yeah?” he teases, fucking into you harder. 
Before Mingi you hadn’t known that fingers could be this magical but fuck if they aren’t casting all sorts of spells on your body. How were you ever really going to deny him when he made you feel like this? Who could make you come the way he does? No one and he knows it. There’s no hiding it when your pussy’s nearly swallowing his entire hand, desperate for release. “Oh my…shit!” you cry out, your body folding as you hit your high. Mingi catches you, carefully lying you back on to the floor, his fingers still pumping in and out of you.
It’s so cute seeing how helpless you are just from his fingers. Squirming on the floor, tits spilling out of your robe, with your mouth wide open saying his name over and over like a broken record. “Why didn’t you answer my calls?” he asks, taking full advantage of having you quite literally in the palm of his hand. “I don’t know…I…” you stutter, finding it impossible to string a sentence together. Mingi leans down, capturing one of your buds between his teeth, “Don’t lie to me.” He nips at your bud firmly enough to make you squeal, a gentle warning of what’s to come if you can’t get your answers straight. 
“I was scared!” you spit out, your hand resting on his as it slows inside of you, eventually coming to a stop. Mingi sits up, eyes narrowing, “Scared? Of what?” You bring your hands over your face to hide your embarrassment, “I was scared to end up like the other girls.” “Other girls?” he asks, sitting down beside you to process what you’re saying, “What 'other girls’?” You can’t bring yourself to answer but he won’t accept your silence. Mingi pulls your hands away from your face, hovering over you, “What ‘other girls’?” “Look, everyone knows that girls love you. You’re always flirting with them and…”
“Well, yeah, it’s my job but that doesn’t mean I sleep with them or send them flowers.” He leans in closer to you, his lips moistening yours with your own juices, “Or write them poems about how beautiful they are. Or beg for them. I begged for you.” All of the blood rushes to your cheeks and you’re…smiling? You roll your eyes at yourself. Ugh. “You did.” “And you know why?” “Why?” “Because,” he sighs, running his hand along the curves of your body, “I want you all to myself. I’ll beg again if I have to.”
His fingertips graze your twitching clit, reawakening your senses. Resting your hands on his cheek, you press your lips to his, your tongue sweeping into his mouth to taste whatever remains of yourself amongst the warmth of his cheeks. “No more begging.” You spread your legs for him to palm your exposed pussy, “I’m yours. Take me.” Take you? You can’t even begin to fathom the fire it ignites inside of him when you say that. “Take me,” you say it like you mean it because you do and Mingi doesn’t hesitate to do so, scooping you into his arms and carrying you to your bedroom, all while kissing you like his life depends on it.
When he finally puts you down you’re standing on your tippy toes, blindly undoing his pants to free the aching thickness stressing the fibers of his boxers. It slaps against your stomach, precum smearing on your lush belly. You stroke his length, tracing the veins that run from base to tip, “You gonna give it to me or what?” Mingi gently pinches your chin between his thumb and pointer fingers, “You’re really bossy for someone so short.”
“Shut up, you love it.”
“Fuck…you’re right” he smiles, wrapping his arms around your thighs to pick you up again.
This time your arms are around his neck, legs hooked around his waist, while he pushes into you. It’s gradual, the fullness that overtakes you inch by toe curling, back arching inch. Mingi spins around, laying back on the bed so that you’re on top of him. But he’s still in control, gripping your supple ass each time he disappears into you. You swallow his cock the same way you did his fingers. It’s almost as if you want him to lose his mind. You do. Burying your face in his neck, you inhale the intoxicating scent of his cologne, “Deeper. I…want all of you. Need.”
Mingi’s long arms close around you, making it impossible to move, and he grants your wish. There’s no “in and out” anymore. Only in. Mingi kisses your shoulder, rocking deep inside of you, fighting off the urge to come from how desperately you’re gripping him. But there's no use fighting it. The euphoria of having you again...it’s even more intense than last time.
“I’m…gonna cum. Where...want...me?”
You piece together his broken words, bringing your lips back to his. Giving him one final kiss, you stare into his eyes and whisper, “In me. Mark your territory.” You feel the air escape his lungs as his body convulses, the warm white liquid that painted your lips less than a week ago now adorning your walls. Mingi’s muscles loosen enough that you have the room to ride him through his high, triggering another of your own as your clit's pleasured by the friction between your bodies.
By the time you’re done with him, there’s nothing left. Every drop of anything he had to offer now belongs to your pussy and the grabbable, jiggly part of your inner thighs that it’s leaking down. You collapse onto his chest, hearing his heart race as you both struggle to catch the breath you lost. Mingi kisses you on the forehead, hugging you tightly again, “Mine.” You yawn, reaching a limp finger up to boop him on the nose, “Yours.”
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cleoluvrr · 6 months
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high school sweethearts (rafe cameron x reader) - prologue
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these are the requirements, if you think you can be my one true love
WARNINGS: mature content; dark!rafe, domestic violence, substance abuse & addiction, coercion, manipulative behavior, stalking, toxic relationship, attempted suicide, kook!reader
masterlist
series masterlist
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“get the hell out of my house, rafe! i don’t care!” your voice was raspy with anger and frustration as you yelled in rafe’s face. your skin was damp with fresh tears, neck covered in the salty trail leaking from your eyes. “i’m not doing this shit with you anymore!”
your boyfriend, now ex-boyfriend, was at the foot of your bed, burning eyes glaring down at your seated frame. you know why he came over, but seeing as the two of you ended on bad terms just a couple weeks ago, you were less than pleased to see him. it wasn’t really a mutual separation–it was more one of force. you told him you were leaving him–and you did–but in rafe’s head, he never left you.
rafe wasn’t a nice guy most of the time, not even to you. you knew that when he pursued you, but you still gave him the benefit of the doubt. you told yourself that it was just a defense mechanism, that he would get nicer the longer you two were together. when the cruel behavior continued well into your relationship, you realized just how wrong you were.
the name-calling, the violent behavior directed towards both you and others, the raging cocaine addiction that he wasn’t even trying to overcome; it was all too much for you. hence, why you broke it off after years of trying to find a more sympathetic side of him. he had one, you knew that for a fact, but it wasn’t enough to ignore all of his shortcomings.
“that’s not how that works, y/n. are you fucking stupid, or something?” rafe looked at you incredulously, top lip flipped up in an almost disgusted snarl. 
“what do you mean ‘that’s not how it works?’” the frustration you felt was only amplified, face screwed up from being unable to process the gall he possessed to let those words leave his mouth. “i said that we’re done. over, finished. i explained to you why we’re finished very simply–you’re a piece of shit, rafe. and until you’re not, we’re going to stay finished.”
the chance that he would ever stop being a terrible person was minimal. it had to run in his dna–maybe it skipped sarah and wheezie, but the trait definitely passed from ward unto his son. 
you’d seen the way his father spoke to him. you were the one he came to late at night when he’d storm off after an argument, drunk, high, or crossed out of his mind. you nursed his bruises, bloody noses, and sore knuckles after their physical altercations. he never had someone truly care for him growing up, and being raised by a monster only turned him into one.
it was easy to look at the broken boy and have your heart ache for him. how could someone be mad at him for lashing out when that was the only way he was taught to express his feelings? it was even harder to nurse your own bruises that resulted in his unhealed, internal ones. which is why you had to put an end to it in the first place.
“there’s no way you think i’m letting you leave me, y/n,” he says dryly. “after all the investments i made in you? you might be crazier than me.” the taller man lets out a humorless laugh as he rakes his nimble fingers through the blonde locks atop his head.
“what fucking investments, rafe? the jewelry?” 
you push yourself off your bed and shove past him, the dresser behind him becoming the new target of your rage. yanking open the jewelry box neatly sitting atop the piece of furniture, you ravage it for every ring, necklace, and pair of earrings rafe ever gifted you. turning around to face him, you toss it at his feet in a messy pile, the metal scattering around the floor and knocking against his shoes noisily.
“there you go, rafe! do you want the clothes, too?” you go to your closet door and rip it open, the box full of clothes that rafe bought you sitting neatly in the corner where you left it a week ago after packing it all away. the box scrapes against the hardwood floor as you pull it out of its hiding spot. “here! take it! take all your ‘investments’ back! ”
“y/n-” rafe tries to speak but he’s cut off by the sound of your phone hitting him square in the jaw. he bought that too, and he could take it for all you cared.
“there’s your phone, too.” it took everything in you not to smirk in satisfaction at seeing him wince in pain from the heavy object hitting him directly in the face, but it only lasted a second before you realized it was a bad idea. escalating to physical violence was never a thing you did. “now take your shit and leave.”
a few months ago, you would have never thought of doing anything like that. in fact a few months ago you were too scared to even raise your voice at him, let alone throw your phone at him with intentions to harm him.
it took you two months to even find the courage to break things off with him. you feared what was to come if you were to do something as drastic as that, but you knew that it had to happen eventually. even then you weren’t this bold, and the way rafe remained deathly still in front you stood as a reminder why you never were.
“i know you didn’t mean to do that…” rafe trails off, eyes closed as his tongue pokes though the side of his cheek in poorly hidden vexation. “you’re just angry, so i’m gonna pretend you didn't do that.” he squats down slowly to examine the jewelry laid out at his feet.
he pokes around wordlessly, the sound of the collection softing scraping against the floor taking over the silence of the room. you observe as he picks up a familiar silver piece, blinking rapidly as he rises back to his full height with it pinched between his fingers.
the square-shaped mark on his face where the phone made contact with him appears to be a deeper red as he approaches you, the few feet between you crossed in seconds with his long legs. you swallow the saliva collecting in your mouth, breath hitching nervously when he reaches for you. the feeling of the cool metal of the necklace falling into the dip of your clavicle makes you flinch instinctively as rafe clasps it behind your neck.
“you are my shit, y/n.” the taller man hums as his fingers adjust the pendant resting against your chest. “i invested my time, money, and energy into you not only because i love you, but because i expect a return on it. so, unless i’m leaving here with you, i’m not going anywhere.”
rafe’s hand so close to your neck had you frozen in place, unsure of what his next move would be. even after years of being with him, he was still far too unpredictable and unstable to feel easy around when you could feel the agitation dripping from his pores. 
“on our first anniversary, i told you i couldn’t see myself with anyone else. on our second anniversary, i gave you a promise ring–” his free hand reaches down for the hand still adorned by the diamond studded ring he gifted you almost a year ago. you never took it off, but right now you wish that you had the strength to. “and i promised that i was going to marry you one day. you were going to be my beautiful wife, you would have my beautiful children, and everyone would wish they were us.”
“why are you–” you abruptly go silent when you catch the look he gives you, blue eyes dark with a calm rage that you’d learned to fear the most over everything. you shut your mouth immediately at the wordless instruction.
“you promised to love me.” he holds up his hand to show the matching promise ring wrapped around his own finger. “you promised to accept that i was fucked up. you promised that you would be there to wipe my tears, and that you could handle all my shit, even if it hurt you. if you think i’m gonna sit here and let you fuck me over–let you waste my time? let you just–just leave?”
he shakes his head at you, both of his hands reaching up to plant themselves on the sides of your face. his palms are warm against your skin, the feeling of his thumbs smoothing over your cheeks leaving a tingling sensation in their wake. you blinked up at him, eyes wide as your heart pounds against your chest. his own eyes were still dark and angry, but you could see the pure love pouring out of them though the seam between his blown out pupils and the blue of his iris. 
you inhaled deeply when the blonde leaned in to place a gentle kiss to your mouth. it was hard to remain stoic in your reaction, especially when he pulled away with your sticky, pink gloss coating his plush lips.
“you’re not leaving me that easy.” he whispers softly into the little space between your faces. it was instinctive to gulp out of fear–the barely contained, frightened whimper pushed back down your throat with the action. “if i lose you, it will be by my own hands. it won’t be because you get a little scared when shit gets real.”
rafe is granted silence as you continue to stare up at him with your lips drawn together tightly. he sighs heavily, sensing the fear radiating off of your body. you feel his hands pull you into his chest, one of them dropping to your waist to hug you close to him as he rests his head on top of yours. 
“i will fucking kill you before i ever let you leave, y/n. do you understand that?” you say nothing in response, sure that your voice will tremble more than you want it to. you believed every word that came out of his mouth deep down, and the seriousness of his demeanor only justified your sense of foreboding. “answer me. do you understand?”
you remain silent for a heavy second, mouth completely devoid of moisture and heart pumping too rapidly to speak steadily.
“yes, rafe.” you nodded against his chest and you felt him exhale, almost in a way that resembled relief. “i understand. i’m sorry…” you weren’t sure what you were even apologizing for, but it was something you were so used to doing to save your own ass.
“it’s okay, baby, i know.” he plants his lips to your scalp sweetly before pulling away just a couple centimeters. “i know it gets hard sometimes– i know i’m hard, and i’m sorry for that. i’m really trying.”
“i know.” you say weakly, the words all but muffled by the shirt your face was buried into.
you felt him nod above you before he placed another kiss on your head. 
“i love you so, so much.” rafe whispers into your hair, the air of his words against your scalp sending chills down your back.
you nod in response, submitting to the silence that weighs heavy on your tongue.
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queen-breha-organa · 2 years
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I’ll take whatever Matthew Stover was having when he wrote the Revenge of the Sith novelization-
“This is how it feels to be Anakin Skywalker, forever: The first dawn of light in your universe brings pain. The light burns you. It will always burn you. Part of you will always lie upon black glass sand beside a lake of fire while flames chew upon your flesh.”
“This was not Sith against Jedi. This was not light against dark or good against evil; it had nothing to do with duty or philosophy, religion or morals. It was Anakin against Obi-Wan. Personally. Just the two of them and the damage they had done to each other.”
“But even in the deepest night, there are some who dream of dawn.”
“In the end, the shadow is all you have left. Because the shadow understands you, the shadow forgives you, the shadow gathers you unto itself—And within your furnace heart, you burn in your own flame.”
“This is Obi-Wan Kenobi: A phenomenal pilot who doesn’t like to fly. A devastating warrior who’d rather not fight. A negotiator without peer who frankly prefers to sit alone in a quiet cave and meditate.”
“Everything dies. In time, even stars burn out. This is why Jedi form no attachments: all things pass. To hold on to something—or someone—beyond its time is to set your selfish desires against the Force.”
“Obi-Wan looked down. It would be a mercy to kill him. He was not feeling merciful”
“This story happened a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. It is already over. Nothing can be done to change it.”
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azul-marie · 8 months
Text
flirtatious character intros. (various/goddess reader.) (3)
note: fem. reader. suggestive. 3rd person pov. feat. raiden (+ dark) fujin, nightwolf, scorpion
i’m so happy to finally share the newest installment of this series! all the exciting news about mk1 definitely gave me some much needed motivation to finish these. once mk1 drops later this month, i’m considering adding its brand new roster to this series as well — let’s hope future me does so. thank you all for the love and patience you’ve shown; please enjoy your reading.
part 1 ; part 2.
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raiden
raiden: i am glad to see you look so well, name.
name: you act as if we haven’t seen each other in years, old friend.
raiden: no matter our time apart, i will always be glad to see you. 
raiden: do you still accept my friendship, twisted as i am?
name: so long as we serve the realms together,  never will i stray from you.
raiden: your kindness is undeserving, name.
name: raiden, there are rumors whispering about us. 
raiden: do they speak falsehoods, name?
name: for my heart’s sake, i hope them true.
name: raiden, there are rumors whispering about us.
raiden: are they a nuisance to you, name?
name: i’d merely like to know how to make them fact, is all.
raiden: you never fail to surprise me, name.
name: how so, my lord?
raiden: despite our years together, my affection for you grows ever stronger each time we meet.
name: i visited the sky temple some time ago, but you weren’t there.
raiden: is that so? what were you in need of, name?
name: what else? you, of course.
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dark raiden
name: my lord, i beg of you — do not test my resolve this way.
dark!raiden: haven’t i proved myself worthy of your devotion?
name: how could i, knowing what you’ll become?
dark!raiden: devote yourself unto me, goddess.
name: my lord would have me succumb to darkness?
dark!raiden: he would have you as his rightful bride.
name: what is happening to you, my lord?
dark!raiden: do you fear me, name?
name: i fear i am losing my dearest friend.
name: what is happening to you, friend?
dark!raiden: i’ve sought this power to protect us, name.
name: in doing so, you would sacrifice the raiden i cherish?
dark!raiden: tell me whose presence offends you most, name, and i will bring you their head.
name: my lord, surely you jest?
dark!raiden: i’ve told you, haven’t i? anything for your sake is worth doing.
dark!raiden: i will allow no harm to befall you again, goddess.
name: what have you done, raiden?
dark!raiden: whatever necessary to have you remain by my side.
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fujin
fujin: the winds have blown the most loveliest of breezes my way.
name: (laughing) i am sure i’ve heard those words countless times before.
fujin: yet still they flatter, should your smile show for it.
name: fujin, there are rumors up in the air about us.
fujin: no need to mind them. let the others speak all they want.
name: are they correct, is all i wonder . . .
name: my lord, there are rumors up in the air about us.
fujin: you need only ask, and i shall speak my heart, name. 
name: fujin . . . will you accept mine in return?
fujin: my lady, would there ever come a day you’d reconsider my offer?
name: earthrealm has its brothers thunder for protection. is it necessary for me to join you?
fujin: it would certainly put my mind at ease, gazing upon your beauty each day.
name: dearest fujin? you’re still alive?
fujin: of course. i couldn’t bear another moment without your company.
name: i am glad your spirit remains ever breezy.
name: dearest fujin! everyone told me you’d been lost to time.
fujin: time itself could never keep me from you, lady name.
name: thank the four winds that guided you back to me.
fujin: tell me, has bi-han troubled you in any way?
name: the dark one has no hold over me, my lord.
fujin: should that ever change, allow me to be the first you turn to.
fujin: you’re quite popular among our mortal friends, name.
name: (laughs) worry not, he of wind. my eyes are still set on you alone.
fujin: i . . . ahem. it’s not like you to tease, my lady.
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nightwolf
name: your wisdom surpasses that of many mortals.
nightwolf: it is by the great spirit’s guidance, not my own. 
name: humble and handsome . . . she’s chosen her champion well. 
nightwolf: the great spirit wasn’t lying about you.
name: pray tell, were they kind words?
nightwolf: kind as you are lovely.
name: i admire your resilience, nightwolf.
nightwolf: all i am, all i have become, is for the matoka’s sake.
name: blest be the matoka to have you, dear one.
nightwolf: haokah is especially fond of you, name. he a close friend?
name: indeed. we’ve known one another for eons now.
nightwolf: (scoffs) if i were him, i would’ve asked for your hand the moment i laid eyes on you.
name: i’ve never met a nightwolf in person before.
nightwolf: thoughts on your first, name?
name: if you’re willing, allow me the pleasure of knowing you further.
nightwolf: the great spirit’s keen on our meeting together, name.
name: she wishes to boast the power of her latest champion?
nightwolf: she wishes for us to be . . . compatible. take that as you will.
name: have you any sage words for me, nightwolf?
nightwolf: none whatsoever.
name: the way your eyes wander tell me otherwise, young pup.
nightwolf: i have heard that countless suitors vie for your hand, name.
name: such is the life of a goddess, i’m afraid.
nightwolf: allow me to put a stop to them for you, here and now.
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scorpion
name: the thralls of hellfire no longer consume your heart?
scorpion: my suffering can only be quelled for so long.
name: if i may, allow me to ease it for as long as i can. 
scorpion: shinnok was infatuated with you.
name: he, like many others. does it trouble you, hanzo?
scorpion: so long as i am the only one in your company, no. 
scorpion: for all we’ve suffered, will you bless the shirai ryu?
name: grace me with honorable kombat, and blessings you shall receive.
scorpion: your kindness will not be forsaken, name.
scorpion: should you ever desire it, the fire gardens are welcome for you to visit.
name: a kind invitation, grandmaster. i’d hope it would come with a tour.
scorpion: it would be an honor, name.
scorpion: sub-zero has mentioned you time and time again, goddess.
name: is that envy i hear, hanzo?
scorpion: there will be no need for envy once i’ve proven my superiority for your hand.
name: i admire such ardent loyalty for your comrades, grandmaster.
scorpion: the ones i cherish fan the flames of my devotion.
name: i hope that i, too, am among such ones.
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hindulivesmatter · 3 months
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Why Gandhi is a piece of shit and you should hate him.
Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi has been established in our history as a "Mahatma" which means "great soul"
This man is anything but that.
He is EVERYWHERE. He's on our currency, he's revered as a hero who saved India, and we have a mandatory holiday on October 2nd in honor of him.
If you didn't know, now you're going to get to know why he was a horrible human being. Let's begin.
This man managed to fool people Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandela (among many others) into thinking he was a good person.
Here is some of the shit he's done:
In 1903, when Gandhi was in South Africa, he wrote that white people there should be "the predominating race." He also said black people "are troublesome, very dirty, and live like animals."
 Refused to have sex with his wife for the last 38 years of their marriage. He felt that in order to test his commitment to celibacy, he would have beautiful young women (including his own great niece) lie next to him naked through the night. His wife, whom he described as looking like a "meek cow" was no longer desirable enough to be a solid test.
Believed that Indian women who were raped lost their value as a human.
During Gandhi's time as a dissident in South Africa, he discovered a male youth had been harassing two of his female followers. Gandhi responded by personally cutting the girls' hair off, to ensure the "sinner's eye" was "sterilised". Gandhi boasted of the incident in his writings, pushing the message to all Indians that women should carry responsibility for sexual attacks upon them.
He argued that fathers could be justified in killing daughters who had been sexually assaulted for the sake of family and community honour. 
Gandhi also waged a war against contraceptives, labelling Indian women who used them as whores.
He believed menstruation was a "manifestation of the distortion of a woman's soul by her sexuality".
On 6th April 1947, he gave a speech where he said, “ If the Muslims are out there slicing through Hindu masses to wipe out the Hindu race, the Hindus should say nothing and peacefully accept death”.
He hated the great Hindu rulers, especially Shivaji Maharaj. To please the Muslims, he banned the book named ShivBhaavani which correctly depicted Islam’s intolerance and fierce fundamentalism spread by it.
Refused his wife life-saving medication (for religious reasons), but those religious reasons all of a sudden no longer applied to him when he was in a similar position.
Started a fast unto death when Ambedkar asked for separate electorates for Dalits.
Gandhi left his ailing father on his deathbed, to sleep with his wife. The child born out of this copulation died in infancy. According to Gandhi, the death of this infant was the result of this evil karma.
Gandhi, even when he claimed to be the angel of non-violence, made no efforts to prevent the British from deploying Indian troops at various locations during World War II.
Kashmir was invaded by Pakistan in 1947, the brutal Pakistani army committed heinous crimes against Kashmiri Pandits including mass rape and mass killings consequently many Pandits were forced to flee to Delhi and other places. In one incident Pandits took refuge in an abandoned mosque in Delhi. Infuriated, Gandhi threatened to fast to death if the Pandits didn't leave. The Pandits were slaughtered in a communal riot as soon as they abandoned the mosques.
Criticized the Jews for defending themselves against the Holocaust because he insisted that they should have committed public mass suicide in order to "shame" the Germans instead of fighting back. His exact words were, "But the Jews should have offered themselves to the butcher's knife. They should have thrown themselves into the sea from the cliffs. As it is, they succumbed anyway in their millions."
And this is all from a simple Internet search compiled here. I wonder what else is hiding if I do a deep dive.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
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sweet-as-an-angel · 1 year
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Seraphim [Ghost x Reader]
Summary: You help Ghost relax after an arduous and stressful mission away.
Wordcount: 817 words
Warnings: Fluff, Vague Implications/Mentions of Smut (Nothing Explicit or Shown), just two people in Love :-(((, No Pronouns used for Reader except for 'You'.
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Much like the rest of him, even Simon's hair had seemed to have grown hard - rigid - while he was away. That much was apparent to you as you raked your fingers through it, stitching shampoo through the strands.
"You're too good to me," he sighed, sinking a little deeper into the lavender water, soap suds keeping him modest. His eyes would squeeze shut whenever you found his sweet spot - behind the ears, the reason you called him your "Big Puppy", your "Guard dog."
"You deserve the world, Simon." Your words caught on the steam, sang a soft tune to the man who, like many times before, was rebuilding himself beneath your touch. "And if this is all I can do to bring it closer to your hands, then I'd do it for all the eternities the Universe will allow."
Simon's eyes cracked open, and, sensing the shift in his tone, you lowered your hands to the water, shampoo slipping from your fingers into the cauldron of aroma, and placed them upon his shoulders. His muscles were still tense, his senses tender, his mind raw.
You smiled.
"You've done more than I can ever reward you for," Simon said, and, with a sea serpent hand, he placed his palm atop your fingers, collected them like bird bones, and brought them to his lips. He kissed your knuckles, the chap of his lips disguised behind water, much like the water that gathered in his eyes.
"I don't want recompense, Simon," you said, softly. Your eyes grew doleful. Empathic. "All I want," you leaned down, pressing a kiss to the suds in his hair, "and all I'll ever want," and another to the shell of his ear. Shivers broke out across his back, fledgling wings - Seraphim. "Is your love."
Simon's shoulders raised, and for a moment, your heart squeaked, wondering if he'd jump out the water. He did not, but he was damned close. Instead, his other hand came around your waist, wetting your shirt beneath his aqualine touch. He urged you closer, and you came closer, both thighs sat on the bath edge, the water's edge.
His eyes searched yours, for any trace of fallacy, of falsity, though he knew it was a wasted venture. For now, after having your love palpable in his hands, to have felt your beating heart beneath his fingers during long evenings of just the two of you, he knew he had it. He possessed it, just as you did his. And yet, he searched for it in your gaze, every time he returned; to see if your love faltered when you saw him, to see if your pupils still blew wide whenever they fell upon him.
They did.
Just as they always had. Always would.
"You'll always have me." he said, pressing his face into your shirt, your stomach. He placed a muffled kiss there, and withdrew, looking up into your eyes. A puppy indeed. “Forever.” Simon's words were true. As was the glimmer in his eyes.
"Mind," he pulled you closer, his hand dropping to your hip, "body," he squeezed it, near making you squeal. He pulled you closer still, emerging from the waters, a Prince of the Sea meeting a Monarch of the Sun.
"And soul."
His lips found yours, a light in the dark, and you accepted him unto you. A Holy Spirit, a waiting disciple.
His lips were warm, all-encompassing, the condition of his skin becoming more apparent, rougher, as the water washed off him and onto you. You could taste how much he needed you, feel it in how tightly he pulled you to him, never letting go. 
A fragment of eternity passed between you, cutting you loose. And as you pulled away, you pressed your forehead to his, desperately trying to show him the love and life you held for him there, a projector to display all that you could neither say, nor do, to compensate for all that you felt for him.
You smiled, eyes crinkling, half-moons.
"I think I prefer just the body," you said.
Ghost's cheeks lifted, his teeth showing as a laugh rumbled through his chest. He slipped another arm around you and, before you could comprehend, pulled you into the bath, making you squeal and water and suds to spill over the sides as he settled you beneath him.
"Well, then," he said, his consideration, his musings, utterly false, pre-determined. His hands held your wrists, bracelets of blood, bone and muscle. Of Man.
"I'll just have to show you how much this body loves yours."
And with a string of kisses from your ear to your throat, the bath became a mermaid's bed, the scent of lavender curating a scene from pure fantasy, of a love which permeated the very atmosphere, turned it sweet and reduced all hope that anything as pure could ever grasp it in its shaking, gripping, spectral fingers.
Reblog for more content like this! It helps creators like myself tremendously and it is greatly appreciated :-)
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m1ssunderstanding · 3 months
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Get Back Rewatch 55 Years On: Day 17
George is so sweet to put so much effort into helping Ringo write his song and to not ask for any kind of writing credit. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, right? But also, I’d do that for Ringo too if I were him. Ringo deserves it for everything he’s given to that band and the little credit he’s received. 
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“What am I playing, Richie?” “You’ll be on drooms.” If the Beatles know how to do one thing, it’s be cute. 
John, stop talking about Paul’s strong arms, you're embarrassing yourself. 
I do have to just include this here. From my Get Back book. I never heard, “was it sexually oriented?” on the nagra reels, but apparently that’s what Peter Jackson’s cleaned-up version gave him, and again, he was like, “hmm. Too gay.” 
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He’s known Heather for how long? Less than a year, right? But if somebody had showed me just this footage and told me he’d raised her from a newborn, I would not blink an eye. That kind of tired but fond interaction is exactly how a dad plays with his kid. And she’s climbing all over him and bossing him around like he’s never not been in her life. It’s beautiful. 
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And John, with his “are you going to eat them?” is the perfect sort of bad-example favorite uncle. The kind that would check her out of school when she’s older and go get her ears pierced when her dad had said she was too young. 
Sorry, I promise I’m not just going to be thirsting over dad Paul this whole time. I have to just make one thing clear, and this is the only thing I’ll say on the subject and then I’m done. If a man is a 3 and a good dad, he’s a 10. Paul was already an 11, so I’m literally just done-for. Okay, I’ll shut up. 
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John and Paul doing their usual thing, only paying attention to each other. Talking about an Elvis gospel ending for Let it Be. George, smirking, stands up: and we’ll all kneel as you do it. If John had said it, Paul would be in stitches. But George said it, and he might as well have never opened his mouth for all the notice he gets. And it’s honestly heartbreaking, if you can take your eyes off of the insanity of John and Paul’s weird eye-contact, to watch George’s face go from excited at his own wit and hopeful for a laugh to just completely downcast. Twelve years of that. Twelve years. 
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Ringo, you’re an absolute saint. He’s being so sweet to Heather, even letting her mess with his symbols, and then Paul has the audacity to tell him to “keep it lighter.” Like. Paul. Do you think that maybe the fact that he’s got a five-year-old over there “helping” him might have anything to do with how the drums are coming out? Just a thought. Anyone else would at least have something to say about it. Ringo just sort of nods along but he looks SO tired.
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TFW you’re inspiring the next generation of women to be loud and free and take up space.
“Dig it” is actually insane to me. I know I’m crazy, but remember those twin dreams they had about buried treasure when they first met? “If you want it, you can dig it up.” ???
When George and Paul just jump into harmonizing together when they’re talking about The Long and Winding Road arrangement? Their voices are like magic together. I wish they would’ve had George sing that part in the final thing, actually.  
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daydreamingyuta · 8 months
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Hold me? | Mark Lee
Summary: While studying together, Mark confesses that he's been feeling touch starved. He thinks it's affecting his ability to focus, so he asks you to help him out. Genre: fluff, bestfreind!mark x reader, drabble Word Count: 947
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"Y/n, I genuinely think I'm touched starved." Mark says, interrupting your study session together.
"Think?" You ask.
"No. I know I am, and I can hardly focus like this." He says as he throws his head back, looking at the ceiling.
"Well, if it's that bad, you could go find someone to fix that." You say, even though you know he isn't going to take you up on that suggestion. As expected, he shakes his head no.
You sit there, watching him twirl a pencil in his hand while he thinks. You can practically see the light bulb light up above his head when he gets an idea. He's about to say this idea out loud, but then thinks better of it.
You can tell that it's still bothering him as he goes back to his work, but you decide it's best not to question it right now.
A week goes by and you've completely forgotten about Mark feeling touch starved, until your routine thursday afternoon study session.
"I've never done worse on a test in my life." Mark says, as he drops his book-bag unto his bedroom floor.
"The one you were studying for last week?" You ask, genuinely surprised that he didn't do well. You've never seen him get a bad grade before
"Yeah, that's when I was feeling touched starved. I mean, I was kinda joking about it affecting my studying, but clearly it actually did."
You really didn't know what to say to Mark. He could tell by the look on your face that you wanted to help him, but didn't know how.
Mark starts pacing back and forth and you can see him prepare himself for what he's about to say. "Ok, this is kind of a weird request, and you can absolutely say no." He says.
"Hm?"
"No, never mind I can't ask you this. Let’s just study.”
"Markkkk, you know I hate when you do that, just tell me."
"Well... I mean I was thinking that maybe you could...hold me?" He cringes as he says it, but doesn’t back out of the request which tells you that he really does need this.
"Me?"
You watch as he nods his head yes. You weren't expecting him to ask this of you, but as you think about it, it doesn't seem like such a bad idea.
Mark was your best friend, that's all you two have ever been to each other. You were confident that nothing could change that, even something as intimate as cuddling together. You also had a soft spot for Mark, and hated seeing him not his normal self, so you agreed.
You and Mark sit down on his bed and he turns on a random show to ease the awkwardness. You both sit there for a while, staring at the tv but neither of you watching it.
"So, did you want to be the little spoon or?" Mark asks.
You can't help but to burst out laughing. You never thought that you would be in this predicament with your best-friend. "Um, I'll be the big spoon, I feel like that will be best for your problem, right?"
"Yeah. Ok, that sounds good."
You two move into your respective positions. He's stiff at first but as you rest your chin on the top of his head and put your arm around him, he starts to relax.
There's something that’s so unexpectedly sweet about seeing Mark like this. He closed his eyes, and you can hear his breathing become calmer. You decide to close your eyes as well, and you two stay like this for a while.
This would be a perfect opportunity to take a much needed nap, but that wasn’t going to happen because your thoughts started to race. You couldn't help but think about how nice this felt. Maybe you were touch starved too and didn't know it.
Suddenly, you wanted to do this all the time with Mark, but best-friends didn't do that. You felt your heart get saddened by the thought of this being a one-time thing.
"I never noticed how nice your perfume is, like sweet flowers." Mark says, interrupting your thoughts.
"Oh, thanks, it's the perfume I wear everyday."
"Really? I like it a lot."
You feel your lips curl into a smile at his words, and you found yourself wanting to receive more compliments from him.
You feel Mark scoot more towards you, causing you to feel another wave of warmth and coziness.
"Y/n?"
"Hm?"
"Could we maybe do this again, one day?"
"Umm." You wanted to say yes, but you're better judgement got the best of you. "I feel like that's maybe not a good idea, Mark."
Mark turns over completely so that you two are now face to face. "Oh?"
"I just feel like doing this regularly, is the kind of thing that might make us start to see either other in a different way."
"Would that be such a bad thing?" Mark whispers to you, and you can feel a change in the atmosphere.
"Wouldn't it?"
"No, maybe not. I think the idea of potentially falling for you doesn't sound all that bad.”
You two sit in comfortable silence with each other. It always amazes you how simple things are with Mark sometimes. Change isn’t a bad thing, even if it’s a change you never thought would happen. Plus, in your heart, you knew that you could trust Mark. You knew he wouldn’t hurt you and you wouldn’t dare hurt him. You two don't say anything more to each other, you don't need to. Whatever happens, is what happens, and you know you'll be content either way.
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aren’t promises meant to be broken?
at 17 sirius promised to always be there for you whenever you need him. now 3 years after your break up, sirius has yet to break this promise.
tags: sirius black x f!reader,, magical nuisances,, exes to friends to lovers,, hurt and comfort,, fluff,, angst,, slytherins + pandora,, no voldy
a/n: took me an embarrassing amount of time to finish but i’m kinda soft for this fic ngl
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people never stay friends with their exes. even with the promises of being one when breaking up. most find it, understandably, too awkward to continue any sort of relationship with them.
you would have been one of those people, at least you think so. but certain circumstances have deemed this preference a futile thought.
“i can’t believe you got me here to clean your bathroom.” sirius glared, peeling off the rubber gloves off his hands and slumping down on the breakfast nook.
“someone had to do it.” you shrugged, “it wouldn’t be the first time,” you smiled, vanishing the gloves and cleaning the table too. before placing a plate in front of him filled with sausages, toast and beans.
“that’s the fucked up part! it isn’t even my first time doing this.” he groans, grabbing a fork that you immediately slapped away.
“wash your hands first, you animal.”
he whines a protest but gets up anyway, rubbing his slapped hands as he does so—pouting because he’s dramatic like that.
“aren’t you going to eat with me?” he asks, his back turned to you as he washes his hands.
you were almost going to say yes, out of habit, having done so numerous times before. but remembered belatedly, the date set up by regulus with one of his work colleagues. a proper fit to you, he said. “no, i’m meeting somebody for dinner later.”
he closes the tap, turning to you again. “dinner? with who?”
you clicked your tongue at the dripping mess he’s making on the floor. grabbing paper towels and tossing it to him to wipe it himself. “some bloke from regulus’ work.”
“regulus? another date then?”
you nodded, feeling a bit uncomfortable at the idea of talking about dates your ex’s brother set you up with.
he frowned. going back to the table and grabbing the fork to start eating the warm food. “i see,”
and that was, thankfully, the end of that.
you didn’t really want to delve into your dating life with anyone, much less your ex-boyfriend of all people—no matter how many times he cleans your bathroom. it was already morbidly pathetic, how your friends seem to think you needed help finding someone new and to move on with.
but in your defence, it is rather difficult finding someone who would be okay with your, er, arrangement with your ex.
it is all sirius’ fault, really, but what isn’t? accidentally making a magically-binding promise to you, seems just like the type of thing he would do. and he has.
ever since he made that promise at 17 when you’ve just started dating, sirius has been showing up in your life, ready to help you with anything you need. you thought of this is in a more figurative sense, but no. that was too simple.
instead, whenever you need something. maybe something as simple as scratching your back, to partaking in a monthly bathroom cleaning, sirius would just appear out of thin air into your house, or wherever you need him, and he would be required to do it else he wouldn���t be able to leave.
when you were dating, this was something you both enjoyed, sometimes even looked forward to. using it as an excuse to latch unto each other the whole day. but now, having been spilt for how many years now (3 but who’s counting?) you can imagine how this magic promise has become a nuisance in your everyday life.
you tried resisting it, of course. though the power of will and mental fortitude can only do so much when you can’t reach the top shelves of your kitchen. forget about avoiding your ex, when he can just pop in whenever, wherever, when you get so much as a paper cut. you can see how the novelty of the situation can run its course. so much so, you sort of just learn how to deal with it instead of fighting it.
you’ve learned to use this to your advantage, of course, making him do chores around the house, makes him a great house elf without the moral issues of owning one.
he was also quite reluctant, when you both broke up, but that was to be expected. he had tried moving away to france, thinking the distance might prevent him from showing up. but that only made it difficult to explain to the travel officers how he can exit the country without violating travel wizarding laws.
regardless of the reluctant acceptance of such peculiar arrangement, you still have that hope you can somehow reverse it.
this particular hope always trampled by your friends’ insistence to utilize your situation to your extreme satisfaction.
“i don’t understand why you would want to remove it, to be honest.” dorcas frowned flipping through the pages of magical vows and contracts, vol.2. “i mean if i had someone doing things for me all day long, i certainly wouldn’t complain.”
“are you joking? why would anyone want to stay bound to their ex?”
she looked over to you, tone playfully mocking, but mocking regardless. “you mean an ex who does everything you need him to?”
“well, how would you feel if lily was always around you doing stuff for you?”
“oh please, if lily was bound to me, cleaning my bathroom wouldn’t be the only thing she would be doing.”
you grimace, “spare me the details, i beg of you.”
“so you wouldn’t like it if you and sirius partook… in certain late night activities?” she hummed.
you sputter out scandalized gasps, face feeling gruesomely warm, “don’t be disgusting! i have no intentions of ever doing anything with him and i assume he share the sentiments, a-and it is appalling that you think so—!” you breathed in deep, willing your face to relax and to settle your wild heart. “i don’t need him to be anything other than a reluctant acquaintance.”
pandora laughs from the floor, “not even considering him as a friend? poor sirius.”
you huff, embarrassed and frankly a bit betrayed.
you friends have convinced themselves of sirius’ intentions to be more than what is required of him. pushing you of all people to act upon seducing him using your gods given womanly assets, as pandora had once labelled.
you abruptly stood up from the table, going over to the stove to reheat the water to make more tea. “besides, i am perfectly capable of handling things by myself, thank you very much.”
it’s dorcas who laughs this time, “what do you mean? just last week, he had to bandage your finger for you because you bit your cuticle to blood. you are entirely dependent on him at this point.”
you huff, “i am not. i am a woman capable of attending to my own needs. that was the bind’s requirements of it all, i have to let him do these things or the bond won’t ever let him leave, you know this already.” you groan, rolling your eyes. “my point still stands. i don’t need him, nor will i ever need him. i just want all of this out of my life and in the past, like it should have been.”
“doesn’t he have his own room in this house by now?”
“it’s not his room, it’s a guest room— that he frequently uses. there’s a difference.”
it was pandora munching on peanuts, wholly amused that responded next, “right,” she drawled, “and that’s why he has his clothes folded and tucked away in the closet.”
“oh piss off, the nuisance sometimes happens in the middle of the night. how could i let him go home so late? what kind of host would i be?”
“couldn’t he just go home straight after?” dorcas asks.
“is it a nuisance, still?” pandora asks.
you cross your arms, petulant, “he can, but he chooses not to. and yes, still.” you scoff, “i know you think something filthy is happening but i particularly don’t enjoy his impromptu trespasses, believe me.”
“i don’t know, you two seem to be getting along quite well.”
“me and that useless oaf? are you joking?”
pandora smiled sweetly, “hardly useless now, i hear.”
“and what did you hear?”
“takes care of you quite well, what with dinner invites with the potters and even travelling?”
you turned around, fiddling with the tea cups, hoping to hide your darkening flush. but you know it did nothing, judging by their giggles.
“travelling?” dorcas inquired, interest piqued.
you don’t see her but you can sense her teasing smile.
you have yet to share that tidbit of embarrassing info to her. mainly because you don’t know how to squeeze it in and you don’t know how to even begin.
you did go to the potters for one random dinner. the invite came after sirius had come and helped you arrange your home library. it was just a simple dinner. filled with other people, hardly anything scandalous.
the travelling together was accidental. you were off to travel with bloke #4, as graciously dubbed by sirius (someone regulus had set you up with at the time) off to a romantic getaway for the weekend to a hot spring up the mountains. only to get thirsty halfway through your trip and have sirius show up in your train compartment only in his boxers and fluffy bunny slippers.
there were no other stops in the train. anti apparition wards set up and the floo connection was severed in the hotel to promote exclusivity, sirius had to join in on the activities through his relentless insistence. he had ate and laughed obnoxiously loud - sitting dangerously close to you the entire trip. he had constantly went on a tangent, reminiscing about your past relationship ranging from random dates to the make out spots you’ve frequented together in hogwarts. safe to say that was the last time you’ve heard from bloke #4.
but you could hardly think to be upset about that. you quite… enjoyed yourself.
but you’ll be damned before you admit that to these two vultures.
taking a deep breath, “there was no dinner invites nor travelling. it was—“
“magical nuisance, yes, yes.” pandora waves off.
you roll your eyes again, grabbing the hot kettle to steep the tea. “stop trying to make things—ah! fuck, ow.” you hiss, holding your painfully warm, stinging fingers. you see the tiny boils already appearing on your skin, the piercing pain shooting through your fingers. you squeezed your hand, hoping to elevate some of the pain.
sirius made a quick move to grab your wrists to pull you to the sink. you didn’t even hear him arrive.
“what happened?” he asks, silver eyes looking at you in intense worry. softly holding your hand under the cold running water gliding down your hand. he was standing so close to you you could smell a tiny hint of his soap. you slowly start to relax.
that is before you catch dorcas’ glinting gaze and pandora’s knowing smile. both of which you vehemently ignore, as you stare at your red fingers and his much larger hand on yours.
“i burned my fingers on the kettle.”
“goodness love, you have to be more careful.”
“sorry.” you mumbled, but having no idea why you would even apologize in the first place. still, you feel the heat of your hand spread to your body.
dorcas, having stood up to help you sat back down again, “hello, sirius. right on time as always.” she called, a cetain lilt in her voice you nervously recognized.
“sirius black, what a coincidence.” pandora sing songs, no subtlety whatsoever.
oh, they are just the worst.
he regarded them both in an overly familiar smile (an ex shouldn’t give to his ex’s friends) and in a light teasing tone as he says “good evening, ladies. why do i get the feeling like you’ve been gossiping about me?”
“you might have been mentioned once or twice.” pandora shrugged.
sirius softly laughs, the sound barely heard over the sink, before he stares at your fingers again, rubbing his thumb over the sensitive skin. before looking at you with a teasing smirk to which you only roll your eyes at.
you see shuffling in your peripheral, meeting your friend’s eyes, you see them gesture to you and sirius. trying to wordlessly communicate to you with wide smiles. you imagine something akin to, see? what did we tell you? not useless right? nuisance my ass. look at you guys holding hands under the water.
as if just realizing it now, you pull your hand away from his grip in an embarrassed haste, as he slowly lets go with a small frown etched on his face.
drying his hands on the towel, as he leans down to unnecessarily whisper to you. “i’m going to get a burn salve, i’ll be quick.”
“it’s in the—“
“bathroom, yes, angel, i know. just wait for me.” he drawled, giving you a wry smile.
you stare at his retreating figure. you almost want to laugh at his serious reaction to a simple burn from a kettle. hardly calls for any salve. but you kept the comments in, for whatever reason. a fluffy, dangerous feeling erupting in your chest.
you hear dorcas whistle to get your attention, a smirk on her face, “angel?”
when the promise first happened, it was during graduation from hogwarts. absolutely gutted by the fact that your parents didn’t show. they’ve been vocal about their disappointment that you weren’t able to finish at the top of your class. but you had hoped they would still show. you were, after all, still their kid.
but there was noticeably empty seats in an area reserved for your family. so, naturally as any teenager, the next best thing you could do in the situation is cry alone in a bathroom.
though the lack of company didn’t last too long, because then your boyfriend appeared, looking to be in a middle of taking pictures if his big and goofy face is anything to go by.
he heard you, before he saw you. hearing your soft sniffles and the tiny hiccups from your mouth. at the time, you both didn’t question what had happen. why he was inside the girl’s bathroom, why is there a strange pull to follow your every whims. but he was suddenly there to comfort you, and make you smile again—who were you deny his services?
you both only managed to understand what was happening by the third time it happened. sirius suddenly appearing by your bedside, wet and covered in suds. he was in the middle of showering and you promptly freaked out, seeing large bits you weren’t ready to see yet.
but understanding why it was happening didn’t mean both of you would be prepared anytime it actually happened.
the bind didn’t pick and choose when, where, and why he would appear. there was an embarrassing moment when he showed up in the bathroom when you’ve ran out of tissue paper. also at your house during dinner when you needed salt, to which your parents justifiably freaked out at the sight of a boy, claiming to be your boyfriend.
this hasn’t changed years later.
now as you lie in your bed, feeling the scratchy feeling in your throat. you knew by the tingles in your arms. the thrumming static of your magic within you— letting you know of his arrival before you could even sit up.
there he was, your ex-boyfriend, like the days before. it was terribly late, and he was struggling to even stand straight as he yawns in the middle of your room, wearing a set of well-loved teddy bear pajamas.
“somethin’ wrong baby?” his voice deep, hoarse and low. something exciting spiking through your veins, making you more awake.
you knew, if he was more alert he wouldn’t have called you that.
you try not to think why you feel miffed by that fact.
“jus’ some water please.” you call softly from your bed.
he yawns again, rubbing his flat belly, “okay.” he breathes, walking in the darkness of your room with practiced ease.
you hear the small sounds of clanks in the kitchen, and the fridge being pulled open.
he knew you liked you water cold. he knew where your drinking glasses were. he knew where you keep the salves. he knew your apartment in the dark.
in the beginning, especially after your relationship ended, you associated this binding promise as an act of forceful requirement. at best, you see it as a favour you give to a stranger. but lately, especially in the quiet of your house, the pet names that keeps slipping out of his mouth as of late—you start to dangerously think of this as something else. as something more. as something painfully familiar.
he comes back quiet, siting on the bed near your thighs, as he hands you the cool, moist glass. his hair was tousled more than usual. there were sleeping marks on his face. he was probably already asleep before you needed him here.
you feel a little bit guilty, but you see his flushed cheeks through the soft glow of the moon outside your window, and the hooded gaze he desperately tries to keep open. you fight back a smile instead.
“is that all, baby?” his hand softly smoothing your hair at the back of your head. your room felt ridiculously warm.
“thank you.” you murmured before setting the glass on the bedside table.
he gives you one last sleepy smile, eyes closed and his hair toppling over his eyes. “okay, if that’s all—“
“are you going back?” you cut in, holding his wrist, your finger on his pulse. keeping him seated before he could even stand. before his warmth leaves your bed.
“i don’t have to..” he offers. like always, giving you the choice to draw the line.
you hesitate before you answer, letting go of his wrist, “it’s late..” and that’s all you say, and apparently that’s all he needs.
“is it alright then, if i stay the night? then i can leave in the morning?” he whispers back. his warm hand, touching your thigh over the covers. he felt so far away.
you don’t do this, not usually. but in the dark space of your room you feel more confident. more assured. braver.
you move slightly to the side, giving him space, “if you want.” conveniently forgetting the existence of the spare room. choosing to blame it on the lack of sleep.
he smiles, moving the covers. the short moment of exposure making you shiver in the cold. he notices, quickly sliding into bed with you. arms stiffly on his sides and yours crossed across your chest.
still not brave enough.
you feel him shuffle, laying on his side and facing you. his fingers just barely grazing your sides in a soft touch.
you fell asleep faster than any other night, hearing him breath near your ear.
you dream of a teary conversation from a time not so long ago, of desperate pleas not to leave you. and when you feel his arm curl around your waist. you dreaming of nothing for the rest of night.
the next morning, you woke up later than you would have, and see the too empty space next to you. the pang in your chest, grossly familiar.
it had been a month since the night he’s stayed with you. not a breath has been acknowledged about that night. choosing to ignore the lingering tension, the long stares and the awkward dispositions.
you don’t know whether to feel relieved or frustrated.
of course, your friends had noticed this - because hadn’t they been analyzing each of your move when it comes to sirius black?
dorcas eventually had to force it out of you. to which pandora squealed and teased you in delight. insistent of the blooming change in your relationship.
“blooming change?” you repeated.
“what? it’s poetic!” she argues.
“it’s dumb,” regulus calls out. “y/n isn’t the kind to return to an ex, especially not to my dumb brother, right y/n?” he looks so earnestly confident. so much so that you couldn’t even lie to agree with him. truth be told, you have no idea if you were even the type to go back, regardless if it was reggie’s dumb brother or not.
because sirius has been your first boyfriend and if this bind continues on, he might be your last. you don’t know if that’s a good thing, all things considered.
everyone has turned to you now, in varying degrees of smugness, amusement, pride and playful pity.
dorcas laughs, saving you from answering. “i don’t know reggie, seems like y/n’s getting a little swayed.”
reggie reacts for you, as if offended. “she is not! she is actively going on dates and meeting new people.”
“oh?” dorcas smirked.
barty, sitting up straighter, “doesn’t he have a room here or something?”
you say, “no,“ “yes.” pandora quips, at the same time.
you rolled your eyes, “it’s a guest room—“
“one that conveniently went unused in one random night.” evan hummed, smirking, as he blew his smoke out the window.
pandora and dorcas ooh’ed.
“it was late! he was practically dragging himself from the floor, i couldn’t let him hurt himself after i interrupted his sleep, a-and he was already there, it’d be rude not to—i don’t even know why i’m explaining myself to you!— i don’t have to explain myself, because i did nothing wrong.” your met with four amused looks and one gut wrenchingly, disappointed one.
dorcas clicked her tongue, “i don’t know why you’re even fighting it at this point.”
“what do you mean by that?”
“i mean, you clearly want to be with him still.”
you sputter, sitting straighter, indignant as you say, “what gave you that idea?”
“the longing gaze.”
“acting all shy.” barty adds.
“the late night rendezvous,” evan hums.
“giving him his own room.” pandora pointedly looked at you.
“the inability to pursue any other relationship after him.” regulus tutted.
you gasp, betrayed. “even you reggie?”
regulus rolled his eyes, crossing his arms and legs, “i am running out of eligible acquaintances to set you up with, you know.”
you don’t even know how to respond to that.
frankly you can’t. because you know they were right, and dammit if that didn’t hurt your pride just a little.
still, ridiculously hung up on an ex that didn’t even love you. a joke, really.
but you relish in the idea of sirius being near you. it sends a certain tingle down your spine just knowing he’ll arrive anytime, and be there for you. you like how he always stands so close to you even if he doesn’t have to. you like how you don’t have to tell him what he has to do before he does it. you like the pet names naturally slipping past his pretty mouth. how he’s always touching you in some way. how familiar it feels. the habits, the conversations, the feelings—how easy it all seems.
but it isn’t. you know it isn’t.
because you’ve tried and failed.
you fell for him, loved him the way you know how. leaving nothing for yourself as you give everything for him. loving him with no expectations for him to do the same. and so, he doesn’t.
he couldn’t love you back. at least not in the way you entirely feel for him.
he couldn’t look past his life and the experiences he’d endured just to reach that moment in the past. it wrecked you. you didn’t expect anything, but it still hurt when you got nothing for everything you had.
you don’t like the reminder, but you know you need it. you know how destroying it is to forget. you’ve tried being with him already and it didn’t work. you say this to them, whispered, as if ashamed.
you don’t even feel the tears sliding down your check as you say this.
dorcas’ smile dropped and pandora immediately sat down beside you.
“hey, you know it won’t be like that again.” pandora rubbing your shoulders.
“do i?” you rasped. “what’s so different about now than before? what’s to stop us from breaking up again?”
“it’s going to be different because you are different, and so is he.” dorcas said. “you were just teenagers, you barely knew yourselves back then. you weren’t ready for each other yet. he had issues to work out, and you had to grow up a little to understand that.”
you sniffled, “and you think we’re ready.”
“yes,” they all said.
dorcas reaching over and squeezing your hand, “i know you’re both ready.”
you shake your head, you don’t know if that’s true, “our forced proximity lasted longer than our actually relationship. and it’s only lasted this long because it’s just that—forced.”
pandora shook her head, dangling earrings clinking together. “that’s not true. it’s lasted this long because you wanted it to. you both wanted it to.”
evan nodded, smothering his cigarette butt and throwing it outside, “i, personally, wouldn’t want to spend any second with any of my exes, but you both didn’t even try finding any sort of solution to break the promise.”
barty gives you an awkward smile, as evan continues “if you had wanted to call it quits you would’ve found a way to end all of this the moment he had broken up with you. but you didn’t—“
“that’s because i couldn’t—“
“don’t lie,” regulus cut in, pouting, looking a bit like a petulant child. “we all know you could have found something in this ridiculously large library of yours.”
“why are you suddenly advocating for sirius and i to get back together again?”
regulus clicked his tongue, looking away. a slight flush on his cheeks. “i’m not advocating anything.” he huffs. “he’s an idiot who doesn’t deserve you. but if it’s sirius that ultimately makes you happy. then so be it.”
you swallow a lump, breathing a staggering breath, “i don’t know if he even—“
“he does.” regulus looking at you, eyes clear and sure. “he wouldn’t be so cross with me for setting you up with dates if he doesn’t.”
that same night, sirius, for once, was not summoned by you but of a call from regulus.
he already feels the natural flare of irritation, bracing himself for another round of teasing hums and provoking stories about how you’re on a date in an exclusive restaurant, with a bloke who’s ready to give you everything you need.
standing up from james’ couch, going to the kitchen to block the noise from the muggle telley, as remus called it. then accepting the call,
“i swear if you’re calling just to gloat about another conquest you’ve put her through then—“
“she needs you.” regulus slurred.
feeling an immediate spike in his heartbeat. already grabbing his jacket and hurrying to the front door to leave.
“we’re in a pub, bring your motorbike or something, she can’t apparate right now, too drunk.”
“i’ll be there in 10.” grabbing remus’ keys off a bowl in the entrance.
“oi, where the hell are you taking my car?” remus shrieked from the couch.
without looking back, “she needs me.”
peter whines from the living room, “but the game-!”
and he only slams the door close as a response.
“we’re in the east village, near a fountain.” regulus sluggishly explained before hanging up.
sirius wasn’t the best driver. in hindsight, he probably should have asked remus to drive him to you. but this was about you. he could hardly think about anything else when it comes to you. he would do anything for you, binding promise or not.
he found it particularly odd and extremely worrying, why you’re drinking on a thursday night. he knew you couldn’t handle your alcohol well, always ending up drinking too much and passing out.
considering regulus had to call him to come get you didn’t help his nerves as he drove faster than the limit allowed.
when he arrived expecting the worse, he found himself smiling at the sight of you.
you were laying your head on regulus lap as you both sat on the bench. he can hear barty and pandora trying to lift each other. dorcas and evan cheering them on.
but all he can see is you laying there. eyes closed and cheeks darkly flushed, dress splaying over your thighs. regulus smoothing your hair, lulling you to sleep. when he met his brother’s eyes. the younger black rolled his eyes and beckoned him over.
“took you long enough.” regulus grumbled, now sounding sober than when he called.
“is she okay?” sirius asks, crouching down and staring at your sleeping face for any signs of discomfort or pain.
regulus sighs, “just got a bit carried away, this one. she was… upset tonight so we let her have her fun an—“
“upset?” sirius cuts, couldn’t help the finger tracing your cheek and jaw. your nose twitching at his action. “why was she upset?”
regulus waves his hand, making vague gestures but offering no explanation. sirius frowns.
“i can take her home,” standing up, now as he calls out to the others. “does anybody else need a ride?”
all four heads, shook their heads and offered varying words of thanks. “you reggie?”
“don’t bother, i’m perfectly capable.” he tuts. “be careful of that metal beast.”
with slow movements, sirius slides his arms under your neck and the back of your thighs. making sure your dress stay tucked and you comfortably napping before lifting you up.
once lifted, your head turns to the crevice of his neck, burying your nose and breathing in deep. wrapping your own arms around his neck with practiced ease and familiarity.
his heart thrumming and slowing all the same. he likes you like this, so close to him and looking so content as you do now.
nodding his goodbyes to the others, as he walks to the car again. opening the car door proved to be a challenge what with an armful of you. but he managed to do so without jostling you too much. he didn’t want to wake you, but such actions proved to be futile as the moment you were placed in the passenger seat, you froze awake.
he tries to appease you with a gentle smile, brushing your hair behind your ear. “hi love, i’m getting you home today, is that alright?”
“siri?” you rasp, looking at him like he wasn’t real. his chest pounding as he sees your eyes glossing and shining with unshed tears. he immediately crouch down in front of you, grabbing of your hands, and peppering soft kisses on your knuckles.
“what is it, my love, why are you crying?”
“you’re here?”
he nodded, kissing your knuckles again. “i’m here.”
you said nothing, just staring at him. looking so lost and tearful. he feels a little guilty thinking you to be heart-clenchingly adorable, right now. looking so soft and precious, the urge to stay the night in the parking lot and just stare at you was strong but he knows he has to take you home, else you get sick.
he thought you were to say nothing else. so, he stood to close the door and head to the driver’s seat but you whined. tugging at his hand still in your clasp and pull him to you. tucking his head into your neck and burying your hand in his hair.
this is entering dangerous territories now, he thinks. one he very much like to continue venturing but he knows you weren’t sound of mind right now. so he refrains from touching you anymore than he has. his hands desperately clutching to the cold, hard car, substituting for your soft, pretty skin.
you whine, “don’t go.”
“‘m not going anywhere, baby. i’m just going to the seat next to you.” he mumbled, his lips agonizingly grazing your skin, he ignores the way your body shivers and the filthy thoughts that come with it. his hands gripping the car tighter.
“next to me?”
“yes, next to you.”
you eventually let him go, but not without constant coaxing.
he drives, slow and steady. avoiding potholes and uneven roads. you fell asleep again, from the slow, quiet drive and the soft, mellow music coming from the radio.
then sooner than he had liked, he parks in front of your house. he kills the engine and he whispers his calls to you. not sure whether he wants you awake to be feeling okay enough to walk or asleep so he can touch you again.
he moves when you stay quiet, doing everything he can to keep you from waking up. letting out a soft hiss each time a creak or a thump echoes in your quiet house.
when he finally, finally reaches your bedroom and lays you there, he’s quick to take off your shoes. then the realization of his next move taunts him. although, you looked very pretty with your dress, he doesn’t know if he should change your clothes into something more comfortable for you.
he knew an intense hungover when he sees one. getting up to change clothes isn’t pleasant with a raging headache. he stares at your laying figure. the thin strap of your dress slipped down, and your legs looking longer than he remembers.
he looks away before he sees anymore. it didn’t feel right, looking at you that way. especially whilst unconscious.
he open your dresser, knowing the drawer you keep your pajamas.
he sees a familiar, more faded than he remembers, shirt he always wore. the thought of you wearing his clothes makes him too happy and giddy for an adult man.
he fights his heart from beating too loudly. afraid you’ll hear. bites his lips to stop his giddy grin, and forces his eyes to focus on his search. but eventually did land on his old shirt and some long bottoms so you’d be warm.
he slid the bottoms first. careful not to touch your skin but very much feeling the heat of your thigh. he held his breath as he reached the curve of your bum. stopping and not knowing what to do next. with one arm he lifts you slightly off the bed. and with his eyes clenched tight, fast and frantic hands—holding his breath as he went to pull it up.
next was his your shirt. he had you sit up, head laying heavy on his shoulders. softly pulling back from you to slip the shirt over your head before letting you lean into him again. guiding your arms and pulling the soft tee down.
with a bated breath, he feels for the zipper at the back of your dress.
fingers touching and sliding over your back. the touch leaving a lingering static in his fingers. when he clutched the thin tiny thing, he slide it down. slowly, careful not to pinch your skin.
he hears you sigh from relief, letting himself smile, knowing he did a good job.
he lets you lay back down, properly this time, slip off your dress, cleans your face with a warm wet face towel.
he knows he should go. he knows to let you get your rest and sleep. knows he should return remus’ car. knows the lads are probably waiting for him. but there is no urge to leave. instead he stares at your clean bare face, the soft lines and pretty marks on your face just adds more to your allure.
he didn’t know how long he stared at you. it could’ve been a minute to a full hour, too busy studying your face, seeing all the new marks and the familiar ones, committing them to memory.
he was about to leave, lest he bothers you and wake you up. but you stirred.
stretching as you did so. and blearily stared at him. expectant and quiet.
your voice hoarse but genuine all the same. “it’s late..” he knew what you mean. the unspoken invitation, just like last time.
and he wants to—god he wants to.
“i can’t baby,” you were drunk, he wasn’t. it wouldn’t be fair.
“you’re leaving again?”
that did him in, slumping down on the bed. rubbing your outer thigh through your covers. “i’ll stay then, just rest.”
“but you’ll just leave me like last time.” you mumbled.
he gives you a lopsided smile, apologetic and painfully endeared all the same, “i had to, my love, i had work.”
“no,” you breathed, softly shaking your head, letting out a staggering breath like you were going to cry. “i meant the first time.” you whispered.
it was shameful the way he slowly realized what you had meant. you didn’t sound angry or bitter. or even resentful even if you had all the rights to.
he didn’t respond. letting your words stew in his mind. the quiet in the entire house emphasized by the ringing in his ears. he didn’t know what to say.
what words you were waiting for him to say. what words he can say to make it all better.
he didn’t even know you still think about that. still thinking about your relationship, and what had happened, and why it ended the way it did.
still thinking about it like him, who sometimes find it difficult to sleep thinking about you and the pain he caused you. the regret heavy in his veins like lead.
he should apologize, probably beg or grovel about the way it ended.
he was about to.
but he hears your soft breathing again. the stillness in your body, only sleep can make that he realizes he’s lost his chance.
again.
he rubbed your thighs, still. hoping to lull you into a deeper sleep. he grabbed a glass of cold water and put a statis charm so it would stay cool. he petted your hair, and caressed your cheek. it was painful, and he struggled. but he eventually left. feeling the same amount of fulfilled and disappointment altogether.
it was the next morning where sirius was beckoned again, this time not by a call from his baby brother but by the usual pull of your magic. he had expected as much, even fixed up his hair and wore fresh clean clothes and even put on perfume.
he did it whenever he could. in case you were to need him.
he even has a couple of hungover potion in his pocket just in case.
when he got summoned, popping into your familiar bedroom like the nights and mornings before. he was greeted with you still buried under the covers, eyebrows scrunched and eyes already open. you looked like you’ve been awake for some time now, but still refused to move.
you looked so tired and groggy and so soft and warm and homely and pretty.
someone with a hungover shouldn’t look as good as you did. but you are. he ignores the flutters in his stomach, tightening into a coil and puts on an easy smile.
“good morning dizzy girl.” he sing songs. plopping down on your bed, making sure to bounce you a little as he did.
you groan some more, turning away from him, holding your head.
he softly laughs. reaching over to smooth out your hair, “did you drink water?”
“hn.”
he took that as a no.
“up you go, c’mon. drink, you’ll feel better.” he grabs the glass. still filled full and cool like last night.
sliding his rough hands under your neck and the other to your back. slowly sitting you up so you can drink. you give little to no protest at all at his touch and considers this a win. his lips feeling a little wobbly as he fights a smile.
you took a small sip and then a larger gulp, sighing after finishing the whole glass.
“i also have a hangover potion and a headache one that lily made, so you know it’s good—“
“you left again.” you rasped, a small frown on your pretty face, still turned away from him.
he stops.
it suddenly dawns on him how you’ve yet to look at him, or greet him like you do when he always appears. he chalked it up to you being hungover or the highly probable headache you must have. not sulking, or possible moping over the fact that he hadn’t waited for you until morning.
he feels his heart take up larger room than normal in his chest. the loud thrumming under his veins as his magic comes to life, the burning desire of it all, the ringing in his ears, his pulse loud and the heat coming to his face.
you weren’t playing fair.
“i’m sorry,” he whispers, scooting near you. reaching out to wrap his arms around your shoulders, then lightly tugging you to him, to lean on him like you did the night before. it was through his absolute delight that you let him.
giving him the courage to continue his ministrations.
“you said you’d stay.” you softly whined, voice muffled by his neck. your hands gripping his shirt.
so unfair.
he’s fully hugging you now. he tries to fight the sigh that threatens to come out of his mouth from having you in his arms again.
he hadn’t expected for you to remember last night, what with constantly falling asleep. he should’ve prepared for it though.
“i’m sorry.” he repeats. this more graver than the last. this apology carrying more weight and more reason, when he remembers your last question.
“you always leave.” he feels something wet touch his neck. his hearts clench, the image of your tears too clear for him. “always leaving me.”
he tries to lean back to get a good look on you but once you felt him move away, you tightened your grip. now wrapping your own arms around his waist. sirius doesn’t know how to feel. suddenly wrapped in your warmness and the familiar feeling and the guilt that you’re crying over him.
again.
causing you pain, again.
“i know, i’m sorry.” he hates that it’s all he can say. hates he can’t say anything else.
so you ask, “why?”
why?
he knows what you’re asking isn’t about why he’s sorry for leaving. he knows you’re asking something else. one withheld from you from the very beginning.
why do keep calling me nicknames?
why do keep touching me?
why do i feel this way?
why can’t you stay?
why did you leave?
why didn’t you love me back?
there’s a lot of answers he’s withheld from you but he starts from the one heavy on his mind.
he suddenly wonders if you’ve been left wondering too.
if it keeps you up at night, and having no one to answer it. if it eats you up and if you regret being with him, the same way he regrets ever leaving you.
“i didn’t think that— you would want me to stay, after what i did. i didn’t dare myself to even think you could still want me— or even be around my presence at all.” he says this quiet and so close to your ear.
you let him go now, leaning against the bed post instead.
sirius instantly wishing for you to come back into his arms again, but he refrains.
“you thought i didn’t want you?”
“who would?” he laughs, albeit a bit self-deprecating but hoping you’ll take it as a joke. you only frown. “sirius, of course i would still want you. you’re the best thing that happened to me.” your eyes looked so clear then, so sure.
so sure it burns him.
“but i hurt you. i caused you pain, i’ve disappointed you again and again—“
“you didn’t disappoint me.” you grab his hands, your touch still so soft like he remembers it. “i was hurt, yes, but that wasn’t your fault. it was my own fault for giving you more than what you were comfortable with.”
he shook his head, frowning hard. “don’t do that.”
“what?”
“be understanding,” he laughs, incredulous. “taking responsibility for me being a shitty boyfriend to you for being a complete arse to you.”
“you did what you could. what with everything you went through?”
he turns away, but you grab his face with your other hand, and tilts his chin up.
“all the things you’ve had to endure? i know you try to hide your struggles with it all. but i see you. i see all the things, all the extra steps you have to take to become better than what your parents set you out for. and now look at you, making it out on your own. making new friends, no trace of the anger and bitterness they tried so hard to embed in you. i loved you for it all, and i understood why you couldn’t, even if it hurt. because that’s how people love. you love someone even if they have all the capabilities to hurt you more than anything in the world— and i have loved you for so long. and i might’ve not understood this when we were younger, but i do now. i wasn’t asking for apologies because i’ve long forgiven you for everything in the past. but i wanted to know what it is you felt. why you felt the need to hide the reasons from me.”
he lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.
you let his face go. but he grabs it. incasing your hand in his.
mind sticking to one thing he feared.
loved?
has he lost his chance again?
have you deemed him unnecessary?
“you don’t—?” he sighs, stopping himself, that wasn’t important right now. especially not if you were looking at him, looking so patient.
he started slow, contemplative if he can articulate it well enough for you to understand. “i didn’t think i could ever be capable of love, or be anyone you could ever want and need. because you’re amazing. when you said you loved me for the first time, i thought i was dooming you. my family. my circumstances. i thought i was going to ruin you and i couldn’t live with the thought of doing that to you. so i thought that leaving would be for the best. i tried to leave. tried and convinced myself it was for you. that i had to let you go for you. but i couldn’t do it. selfish as it is, i couldn’t let you go.
“i even found a way to stop the bind, but thinking that my last connection with you would be gone, and you would forget about me—have a life without me there, i couldn’t. because, because i love you. i have loved you from the moment you smiled at me. it terrified me, how much i love you and how much i was willing to do anything for you. i love you more than i could ever understand and i’m sorry if i couldn’t say it that time, i’m sorry if this is a bit late, but i love being needed by you. i love being around you. i-i need you, more than you could ever need me.”
he didn’t notice the tears spilling to his cheeks before you wiped it away for him.
your eyes looking so soft.
“you love me?” you breathed.
as if it was unbelievable.
as if it wasn’t possible.
sirius hates himself a little more at the thought he might have caused some insecurity for you.
because it was ridiculous.
“i love you.” and like a broken record, he repeats it. again and again and again. much firmer than the last.
and you smile, so big and beautiful. and your eyes shining and so pretty. it was like the sun was shining so much brighter that day. like the clouds were opening up in the sky and bathing you in a golden glow.
he repeats it again, because he’s spent so many years holding himself back. and if your reaction is the same every time he says it then he’ll say it everyday. with every sentence, with every greeting, with every meal you cook for him. with every night he picks you up from a pub absolutely sloshed. with every irritating conversation he has with his baby brother. with every teasing quips from the lads. with every secret smile you give him. every time he touches you, every time he looks at you. because gods, don’t you look absolutely magnificent and unbelievable right now.
“i love you,” he repeats.
“i love you too.” you laugh. like your smile was getting too wide and too happy that you had to laugh.
and his heart soars. couldn’t stop himself even if he tried, as he leans in and captures your lips like he’s done so many times before.
thinking himself a proper idiot if he ever thought he could ever live without touching your lips ever again.
he touches your face like he did the night before. he grabs your waist like he always does. and he tilts your heads like a time before. he tastes a salty thing as your tears slides near his lips and he relishes in its taste.
he feels the warmth spreading to his entire face and body. feels the humming of his magic intertwining with yours. your soft mouth moving against him. and the stretch of your lips, smiling into the kiss.
he pulls away even if he didn’t want to.
“i love you,” he says again, and you smile at him so sweetly.
he repeats it because of your pretty smile.
and again. because he can.
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