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freakurodani · 25 days

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The parallel between Sokka and Tenzin as their fathers' sons.

Sokka, left at 13 as his father and all the other men head off to war. Hakoda tells him "being a man is knowing where he's needed the most" and he needs to protect his sister, his home.

Tenzin is the second airbender. He is also half water tribe, he's a man. When Aang dies, he will be the last airbender. He understands what he needs to do.

Untold amount of pressure and responsibility have been thrust upon them by their fathers. Though, I believe it is not all intentional, but the unfortunate circumstance of being the fathers of sons who take responsibility incredibly seriously.

In Sokka's case, "protect your sister" is a vague instruction. It was meant to give him purpose, to help him feel okay about being left behind, He is too young for war, his father does not want to bring his child to slaughter. But Sokka will die with purpose. He will train the children of his tribe so they will be protected, he will face a fire nation ship until his last breath. He cannot go to war, but Hakoda did not see that war was all around them. In trying to give Sokka purpose, Hakoda put their world on his shoulders.

We do not get to see Aang be a father (in the TV shows), but we know he had hopes for the future. All his children were air nomads, and the air acolytes brought his culture back, but Tenzin could bend. This part of their culture is one ONLY they share. I do not think Aang would hide this, he is joyous that he gets to share his culture. When he feels respected, he always is, he taught the air acolytes after all. Off handedly, he could say, "I'm hopeful for a future where there are lots more air benders," and that, which feels mostly innocuous to him, is the nail in the coffin of Tenzin's fate. He is Avatar Aang's son, and the future of the air benders. It would not matter that Aang meant a future in generations. Tenzin sees the responsibility and it's his. He is his father's only air bending child, he knows what he needs to do.

Being a parent is not understanding the way the things you say harm your children. Even those things that feel innocuous in the moment can be life altering. Especially the more the child respects the parent. Purpose and Hope for those with a broader perspective, can be death sentences to a life that could have been when expressed to those who idolize the former.

#avatar the last airbender #avatar the legend of korra #atla sokka #sokka #tenzin #lok tenzin #aang #avatar aang #hakoda #atla #conspiracy lvl: text #i thought about talking about how my own mothers expectations for me broke me #they just felt like facts of life for her #just as like anecdotal evidence for my thought process #bc like we only know aang as a father from his frustrated adult children #but i REALLY REALLY dislike the takes that are like 'aang kept having kids until he got an airbender'#bc THAT doesnt feel like aang #like #if that were the case dont you think aang and katara would have had like A LOT more kids????#like if the goal was make airbender babies why stop at one???#but its because bumi kya and tenzin are reflections of sokka katara and aang #ive made a post about that #its about AANGS FAMILY #and he loves them #i think the favoritism is reasonable #makes me sad but thats cause my mom had obvious favorites (it wasnt me lmao)#another reason why i didnt wanna bring her up <- is doing it anyway how embarrassing #i ALSO thought about my dad though #but i cant talk about that here bc APPARENTLY tumblr only lets you add 30 tags now rip

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vigilskeep · 9 months

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i need to wynnepost. somebody has to

#its crazy how people will assume she is all the tropes she subverts and then ignore her #also how sympathy for circle mages’ indoctrination only lasts until they get old i guess and then fuck them #because its not as if they were ever a terrified child who’d never had anything better than a single templar’s mildest kindness and any kind #of home even if it was the tower #so an orphan kid who had no memory of anything but scurrying between farmsteads and hiding in barns #didnt want to leave. what a shock. you guys dont get the place comfort has in keeping circle mages complicit #so it’s violent and terrible and you never have privacy and your children get murdered and you’re always watched and hated #its also a warm bed and community and a chance to succeed #do you honestly think every kid from fucking THEDAS knows theres anything better out there #that doesnt make the circle good. it makes it horrific that they prey on vulnerable kids to teach them the world hates them #and only the circle is ‘safe’#i just think there should be some sympathy for those kids and what they grow up into #its easy for the player to walk in and say their character would hate the circle and never have listened to the templars #its easy for say an amell or even a surana with a family back home to not fear what they left behind #wynne genuinely thinks without the circle mages would all be murdered and she’ll fight and die protecting her fellow mages #from the right of annulment #yes its a flaw that she goes on to teach others the circle must be tolerated and that is precisely how the circle is perpetuated ove #over generations #but its amazing to me to just act like its her fault #well. this is more tags than i expected it to be

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mihai-florescu · 1 day

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I posted this on priv last week but imagine being an eichiP. Falling in love with eichi's story of second chances, getting what you want and regretting your actions in the process, redemption, desperation, overcoming fate and asserting one's self into the story, saving a school in a dying industry that saved your life by giving you a dream, an arc fulfilling to the reader at the end of ! era. And then in !! he becomes an idol colonialist

#im removing thevother half of what i wrote i think its funny on its own #will return to this #maybe #honestly i couldnt tell you what ill do in an hour i have stopped expecting things from myself #at most a fragmented thought ill forget #but ive been journaling and eichi was brought up. i think thats funny #im like a mom on the brink of a breakdown at work whose kid is also causing trouble

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flareboi · 1 month

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what if purple never calls him dad

#what if the word ‘dad’ is something purple doesn’t like.#what if it carries a bad connotation for them and a bitter reminder for mango.#family doesnt always have to look like one thing yknow? i dont think those two would have a traditional dynamic in that way #maybe purple does consider him their parent. they just dont call him ‘dad’ unless its in third person #and theyre fine with that and so is he #king is his father figure yes but he’s also a mom. a big brother. a sister. their dynamic just isnt captured in purple calling him ‘dad’#maybe his name is the best way they can say it. the best way they can appreciate him #because for purple a father is someone who hurts you. someone who leaves you #i think ‘purple calls him dad on accident’ is a cute idea #but honestly it would make more sense if they called him mom on accident instead. or if it happened when they were afraid. not comfortable #(this is presuming orchid is his mother and navy his father based on the pronouns used in the react vids iirc)#because why would purple refer to someone he sees as a parent with the title of the one that presumably did not raise them?#and on mangos end #i think u can kinda tell who in this fandom has never lost a loved one in how they characterize him #guys. grief doesnt leave. it never leaves.#you just learn to live with it!!!#mango is not okay just because he has a new kid to take care of. i would know this my bio mom passed and i have a stepmother!!!#she does not fill that void and i do not expect her to because it cannot be filled. but she brings a lot new to ease the pain and is a #wonderful part of my life #the same thing here #mango will never ever just .. go back to how he was #he will never be the same since gold died. and thats okay #purple will not change that. they will merely add something new #their dynamic can be beautiful and nontraditional and a showing of how grief can change you #it doesnt have to be ‘replacement dad and replacement son’#its so much more #oke. tag rant over #fett rambles #ava #uhh should i tag the chars

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llitchilitchi · 22 days

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I get hating certain political systems and trying to abolish totalitarian regimes but at the same time many of them are so interwoven with our history and society they have become tropes and when I consume media with a setting where the monarchy is absolute and revered then I am playing my part and sucking that princeling off

#litchi.txt #there are games that address this kinda stuff! and thats good! its good that there are games talking about how this is bad!#but at the same time when I go into a game knowing I will be the prince's sword and shield I dont expect the game to be anti-monarchy #despite having pretty strong opinions on many a thing I tend to put most of them away the moment I engage with media #imperialism bad. monarchy bad. doesnt mean I cant enjoy roleplaying in a game where I help these systems #because guess what its fictional and not everything needs to be a strong statement about politics #sometimes we just... wanna vibe with a setting #I am so very thoroughly exhausted from the politics in this country and where things are going I just kinda need that no brainer gameplay #even if it means working as the secret police for an emperor #even if it means replacing one dictator with another #because its still a game #a lot of people talk about imperialism-monarchy-colonialism with these things because they are a big issue even today #and they are important to talk about!! in real world!!#but I rarely see people be this upset about like religion etc which like. thats also a massive problem.#idk Im just tired of trying to look at fanart of all my fantasy medieval games and people being upset that the games #are not super anti-monarchy despite the marketing being literally 'you are the emperor's bestie. you help him out and go on a quest.'#'your quest is to manipulate local government to support the emperor and do his bidding'#like idk how That is supposed to be a game that addresses it properly #and maybe it does but ig since the MC doesnt look at the player and go REMEMBER KIDS! THIS IS EVIL AND BAD AND WHY MONARCHY SUCKS #it doesnt count??? I guess???

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chuckyray · 2 months

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jelix gets so much hate and people act like it's truly problematic. It's so funny to me. you can hate its fans and not have to justify it with acting as if the ship itself is somehow offensive.

sorry y'all can't see the beauty in 70s repressed homosexual adultery and the consequences of it being tragedy. i forgot the kids these days haven't even seen brokeback mountain.

#also its just fiction guys this isnt real life men cheating on their wives lmfao these are some fictional dudes in an analog yt series #theyre like wahhhhhh he killed his kids and jack hates him now !!! yeah. now. are we disregarding the 20 years of friendship #where they built their dream company together? no ones saying that jack would fuck him post accident lmfao yall are just reaching #blah blah jack would NEVER do that to rose!!! first of all you dont actually know anything about him.#second of all people do shit you'd never expect all the time. even if they do love someone and are happy #also that one take where someone says the concept of jelix is inherently racist because jack is latino and felix is white so #that means jack is giving in to a white mans desires is insaneeee do yall hear yalls selves. like seriously listen to yourself. just once.#and its weird for you to tack actual racial issues onto a fictional ship that has NOTHING to do with that.#literally saw someone say that its perpetuating the white man desires and exotic latino stereotype and im sitting here like what.#what does that have to do with twf. yall just reaching. just say you dont like jelix and go. simple.#the walten files fandom is a joke atp. none of you should be watching this series yall arent mature enough yall cant even handle a ship #let alone a story centering around actual serious topics like childhood trauma and addiction and morally grey characters #rant over #twf #the walten files

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oatbugs · 1 month

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pls i need to provide updates

#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year #and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire #and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f #friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl #acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what #are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and #friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after #everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to #invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me #i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother #and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids #so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo #any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷‍♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd #and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk #THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date #w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a #few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay #scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK #like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl #like is that even doable #but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much #.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us #god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x #but it would be soooo funny #I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed #popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x #i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like #its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe

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brothfan1997 · 4 months

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the problem with working a job where u interact with like 1500 people per day & u are supposed to be charming and informative the whole time is that sometimes you are so weird on accident?? and u say something that is so weird to say to another person out loud ?? and u just have to be like :) lets pretend that was normal. do you have any other questions

#me sitting at my table in silence recounting my day and visibly wincing repeatedly etc etc #to be fair to myself people say really weird things to me and then i have to respond.#i think sometimes disney adults expect childrens museum employees to all be like disneyland character employees.#which we are not i’m not actually doing a bit i’m just some guy who works here and will talk to your kid about dinosaurs ??#if your kid points to a dead bug and asks if its dead (this is in the context of letting children touch preserved specimens)#im literally not gonna play along and lie to your child that is ridiculous #its not sleeping. i am here to talk about science #LOL i will probably delete this later i am so exhausted holiday break sure is… breaking me…#2600 people today…#unrelated sometimes people come up to me later to compliment my stage shows and i think in the new year #im just gonna start being like :) what parts did you enjoy ? elaborate please #i feel like im doing improv all the time.

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cometblaster2070 · 1 year

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you know something that was never addressed in both ever after high and monster high; something that has bugged me for a very long time:

Cupid

cupid is something and someone who has never been properly addressed in both of the shows and worlds she is part of.

who is chariclo arganthone cupid?

she’s the adopted daughter of eros, yes, but what exactly does that even mean?

her adopted father is literally the primordial force of procreation.

was she a mortal? a demigod? was she turned into a god by eros? was she already a god? who abandoned her? how did she even come to be adopted by eros?

cupid is something of a goddess; yet she attended high schools in two different world that no one is supposed to even know about.

cupid has unthinkable power.

she can literally control the way people feel.

she’s also a bone elemental, and while im honestly not exactly too sure about what that means, it sounds horrifying in the sense that she can probably control bones.

cupid is an enigmatic figure with endless power and everyone should be rightfully terrified of her.

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termagax · 1 month

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u know at the beginning i kind of thought kfp4 was gonna do something with shifus whole. deal. but they didnt like at all which is a shame

#the plot was extreeeemely thin and formulaic as it stands imo #kind of held together by the strength of the action sequences which i liked #but idk it just felt weird that po said an objectively correct thing (why isnt shifu the spiritual leader hes clearly better at it #) and i kind of expected that shifu would have something to do where he learns not to be so. idk #i guess faith in his own judgement rather than like. just kind of Accepting His Destiny or whatever. they make gags about how #hes clearly kind of upset about this whole thing #especially with tai lung having a speaking role its just like. well i wish shifu was here so you guys could talk this out #given how the idea of destiny kind of shapes their worldviews #i think what i wouldve done is a destiny is not so set in stone thing #bring shifu on the quest but when po has his vision he sees zhen betray him and decides to trust her anyways while shifu advises against it #because The Universe Said So and po is like what if..the universe is wrong. or what if we can change its mind :D she seems like a good kid #maybe she just needs some good influences :D and shifu is like -'_- thats fucking stupid po <- thinking abt his shitty son #and maybeeee they could even have tai lung be more involved in the latter half because his dad is here. and they can talk #idk i dont know if this is anything i just kind of wish the movie was giving More

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toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account · 8 months

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Tiktok is trying to plan a general strike in less than a week and a half (on sept 1st) and... from the app that could not even properly organize a fake movie gimmick its going as great as you'd probably think it would

#some saying its 1 day some saying its indefinite and uh. the fact that no one can get the facts straight is part of the problem #you can't just shout into the algorithm that you're striking and expect it to have the right effect #it honestly just. i hate to say it but it feels like a kid screaming that theyre running away #and the fact that people have responded to Genuine Non-Hostile input about it being poorly organized/rushed #with 'well shut up if you wont contribute :)'#is genuinely. so infuriating #like. we want something like this to work just as much as you do but this just. IS NOT feasible #this energy would be better put into community building and mutual aid than trying to do One Big Disorganized Push #strike #mine

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aria0fgold · 2 months

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Surprise for Morgana

Morgana sat by the window of the attic, observing what he can outside that can be overlooked from it, the people walking, the buildings, the darkening sky as dusk approaches. It was a good way to pass the time with, though there wasn't anything much he can do with this annoying cat form of his, and with Ren hanging out with Ryuji, he's left to just stay at home.

Morgana huffed, which is his way of sighing in this form. Staying at home is somewhat stuffy although it does give him enough peace and quiet to think more about what to do next for the Phantom Thieves, he may not have all his memories yet, he still has his intuition. And so far it proved to be rather accurate, in fact, currently his intuition is telling him that Ren's new friend is more than meets the eye.

Kaito Kuroba, a new friend that Ren made by walking around in Shibuya. The two hit it off well even by their first meeting so they exchanged numbers. Ren has a way of meeting new people and Kaito seems just as delighted to have met someone new just as well. It was a chance encounter that the two were more than happy with. Morgana was too, it's always nice to see Ren getting along with other people outside of his usual group. Although, there was just something about Kaito that Morgana can't quite put a finger on it— or in his case, a paw.

Kaito met up with them from time to time too, he seems to be good at observing people, is highly skilled with his hands considering the magic tricks he loves to show-off sometimes, he seems to have skills that'll be incredibly useful for the Phantom Thieves. Then again, he's also mischievous, annoying, a pain in the neck, and has Morgana said annoying yet?

Whenever he comes by he would always tease me! He's way worse than Ryuji especially since I can't even talk to him the same way I can talk to the others! He's frustrating to be around with, who said he could be helpful, forget about that, I would rather not be in the same room as that guy!

Morgana's tail flicked about as his thoughts drifted to the many times Kaito messed with him. Just as his annoyance rose, he heard what seemed to be faint sounds of footsteps climbing the stairs. His ears perked at the sound of it, expectant that Ren is back home, he jumped down preparing to greet him.

“Hey Morgana! I got a surprise for you!” Ren's voice called from the stairs.

Morgana tilted his head, confused at what the surprise was, although he also couldn't help feeling a bit excited from Ren's own excitement.

“Geez, you didn't have to get me something! But glad that you're ba—”

Morgana wanted to act cool by seeming to not be interested at all, but his attempt was abruptly stopped by what greeted him next. It was Kaito that appeared from the stairs.

Huh???

He walked past him, confused as to where Ren was, he looked down the stairs, but he was no where to be found.

But I heard his voice…?

Kaito's laugh brought Morgana's attention back to him, he wore a wide grin on his face. “Look at you being so confused! You sounded so excited too!”

No way… Did he… imitated Ren's voice?!

“Well, Renren may not be here but I wasn't lying about having a surprise for you!” Kaito held up a package, one that Morgana knows all too well. After all, it was from the sushi place they once visited. He remembered that the takeout was instead given away, when it was something he had been looking forward to.

Is that…

“There's fatty tuna here too.” Kaito winked at him.

“Fatty tuna!!!" Morgana exclaimed, though it only came off as a loud excited meow towards Kaito.

Kaito laughed, “You're a really smart cat! Come on, you can have a piece while we wait for Renren.”

Well, maybe he wasn't as annoying as Morgana first thought.

#ariawrites #persona 5 #magic kaito #kaito kuroba #morgana #my usage of joker's two names depends entirely on vibes and this time i want to use his renren nickname cuz its just so cute #also wanna give morgana his fatty tuna. i felt so bad for him when he was so expectant to have it but couldnt #dw morgana kaito got your back even tho he can be annoying to you. its the unfortunate reality of being a cat #also yes. to the non dcmk fans. kaito can indeed. copy anyone's voice. it's one of the things he does as kaito kid #he disguises as someone. copies their voice and other stuff to seem like that person. he's one of the few that can do that in it #i dont thiiink??? he does it outside his kaito kid persona tho. as kaito kuroba he only does magic tricks #so im thinkin that in this oneshot. he wanted to prank morgana a lil by imitating ren's voice cuz morgana is just a cat #not knowing the fact that morgana can talk tho so here we have morgana knowing a lil secret (and possibly tellin ren too)

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the-valiant-valkyrie · 7 months

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Answering (by far too many) questions about Phoenix to get a better feel for their character. There's no spoilers for 3 in this, either 💕 So the only thing there is to worry about is how comically long it is

Does your muse make decisions with their head or their heart? Perhaps a bit of both?

Phoenix doesn’t get much room to think with anything beyond their head on the job. And more often than not, they are on the job- or at least, they’re stuck in a similar headspace… That being said, during what little time they spend beyond their occupation, that completely flips. In the rare instances they’re allowed to be lax, they’ll be far more likely to let their emotional state guide their behaviors.

Would you say your muse lives up to their potential? Are they trying to, or could they care less?

They’ve surpassed their initial potential, really. They would never say it out loud, but Phoenix absolutely thinks that it’s only downhill from this point onwards. Sure, they survived a hell of a lot, but that doesn’t mean they know how they did it. They sure as hell would like to keep the reputation they’ve gained, but they don’t feel like they’ve earned it themselves. More like fate just tacked it onto them against their will.

Is your muse protective of those they care for? If so, how do they show it?

It’s been a while since Phoenix has even had someone that they’ve cared for. If you were to have asked them before they joined the Agency, they probably would have responded with a shrug. Nowadays though, the bond they’ve developed with their handler is probably the strongest one they’ve ever had. Taking a bullet for him is the least of what Phoenix would do for that man. Thankfully (for now, anyways), he hasn’t found himself in any sort of situation that would require Phoenix doing that.

Does your muse tend to judge others, or are they more open-minded?

No, Phoenix is absolutely a bit of a judger. Just about anyone who they meet for the first time, they’ve got some internal commentary stirring up in their head the second they lay eyes on them. It happens a lot with Zoraxis operatives especially. Normally it boils down to “ohhh, this guy’s weird”, while actively ignoring the fact that they, too, are very weird. They’re not above being a hypocrite in that regard.

Does your muse have any strange interests? do they keep these interests to themselves, or are they comfortable sharing them with others?

Straying from the somewhat obvious answer of their pyromanic tendencies, Phoenix has a habit of… ‘finding’ stuff out in the field and taking it back with them. It absolutely boggled the Agency the first few times they did it, but nobody stopped them while they had the chance, and they quickly made a habit of it. Sans the handler, they don’t really have great connections with most people in the office, so it isn’t something that comes up a lot. If someone asked them about it, they’d be happy to explain it, but more often than not they’d prefer it if people they didn’t know stayed away from their stuff. After SatL, Phoenix was devastated to learn that all of the souvenirs they collected were removed from the van- probably discarded somewhere by other faculty. Their handler was equally upset about it, though at the time that he learned what the Agency had done, he was still under the impression Phoenix was dead, so.

Has your muse ever been arrested? If so, what for?

Before embracing the life of an agent, Phoenix had gotten themself caught up in a criminal lifestyle far bigger than they were. They were on the hook for a lot of things, really. Trespassing, grand theft, breaking and entering, second degree murder, and, of course, arson, among a few other things. … It was actually the Agency who intercepted their arrest… Read over their files, saw their talent, and didn’t figure them enough of a threat to be against ‘hiring’ them for an agent position. Or maybe they were just looking for some cannon fodder who wouldn’t be missed. Phoenix didn’t really know. But between being an agent or going to jail, it was an easy answer.

Does your muse consider themselves a good person? Why or why not?

… It’s a question Phoenix thinks about a lot. They don’t really have an answer- though if they had to choose, they’d lean towards ‘no’. Their past certainly doesn’t help them think very highly of themself and their morality. They’ve left it behind, but that doesn’t mean they don’t think about it… They wouldn’t even be an agent without all the skills they honed during that time of their life. It’s inseparable from who they are now, whether they like it or not. Phoenix didn’t join the Agency willingly… Not really. Sure, they got used to it- maybe even grown to like it, in a strange sort of way, but they have coworkers who trained and dedicated their lives to their job because they wanted to help people. Because they wanted to save the world- protect the innocent. Phoenix didn’t have a choice. Do they want to help people…? Do they want to protect the innocent? They think they do- they’re pretty sure any rational person would. But they wouldn’t be here if the Agency didn’t snatch them up… Would they even care, if it wasn’t for them? It’s hard to consider being a good person when the good things you do, ultimately, stem from the debt that you owe.

How important is family to your muse?

Not very. They never really knew their mother, didn’t have a great relationship with their father, and keeping contact with him post joining the Agency wasn’t a very high priority for them. Add being an only child to the mix, and that doesn’t really leave much left.

Does your muse tend to blame themselves or others?

It depends, but normally it's much easier for the blame to fall on Phoenix if something goes wrong in the field. Originally, this was because when something went wrong, it usually was their fault- they touched something too quickly, or threw away something they actually needed, or accidentally gripped something too tightly with the telekinesis they were still adjusting to. Though they’ve gotten better at making less mistakes in the field, it's hard to shake the habit of blaming themself whenever things start to go awry.

What decisions have your muse made that they regret?

Regret is… a strange concept for Phoenix. Oddly, one they get particularly thoughtful about. Of course, they regret a lot of the actions in their past, but without it, they wouldn’t be where they are today… They’ve got a place to live they can call their own, an office full of people who… tolerate them, free lunch every day, and a friend they wouldn’t trade for the world. Not to mention all they’ve done since becoming an agent… They certainly don’t regret any of that. Ultimately, Phoenix tries not to dwell on things like regret to begin with. If they don’t think about the past too hard- if they enjoy the present for what it is, and leave everything else behind- then it can’t hurt them as much. Right?

What haunts your muse? Is there any event in your muse’s past that they can’t move past?

A lot… But to narrow it to just one, Rising Phoenix clings to them like a dead weight. Not because of the mission itself… Not because of Juniper, or the missile, or Zor (well, okay, maybe Zor a little bit)... But they can’t shake the memory of their handler crying out to them when the elevator cables finally snapped. With the earpiece tucked directly behind… you know, their ear, it felt as if the sound was echoing around in their skull. They could have died, then. And that wasn’t new, obviously- they nearly died just about every day that week… But having it sink in that even their handler didn’t trust their odds… It was a lot to think about all at once. That they might die. That someone else might care if they die. That his voice shouting their ‘name’ could be the last thing they ever hear him say… The last thing they ever hear period. Revelation after revelation hit in rapid succession, and plummeting to their would-be-death in an elevator certainly hadn’t helped matters much.

Does your muse favor nonviolence? Will they be violent if needed? Do they revel in violence?

Generally, if Phoenix can handle a situation without killing somebody, they will. Physical harm that doesn’t lead to murder is a completely different story, though. They’ll generally do just about anything short of murder to get someone off their back. Phoenix is a pretty big advocate for improvised weaponry, and partnering that up with their telekinesis is quite the dangerous combination. If it’s not bolted to the wall, you’re likely to get hit by it. Hope you have a particularly sturdy skull.

Does your muse prefer to keep the peace or rock the boat? Are they a mediator, or do they tend to make others upset?

Over the years of working for the Agency, they’ve certainly gotten better, but Phoenix has always been a bit of an instigator. It’s a habit they never quite broke. You give them five minutes and they can turn just about anything into an argument. It made them pretty unpopular during their first few months in the office. Nowadays, they’re a lot more playful about it, and they’ve gotten better about learning the limits of those around them (and they’ll only pass those limits if they’re a Zoraxis operative).

Does your muse have any specific fears? Is there a reason why they fear these things?

Phoenix has had a pretty bad case of paranoia even before they joined the Agency. Of course, turning to a life of secrecy pretty much only made that worse. They feel more comfortable meandering through the hallways of an Agency facility than they do walking down the street. They feel safer spending a late night at their office than they do in their own home. There’s a sense of security that comes from being surrounded by their peers that they only really notice once it’s gone… It’s one of the main reasons they’ve stopped asking for vacation days. Not like they’d be very relaxing anyways…

Is your muse happy with their job or career path? Why or why not?

When they started, they couldn’t have cared less about what it ‘meant’ to be a secret agent. They were onboarded to be a dispensable asset, and they knew that full well. Over the years, though, they’ve come around to it… They’re certainly proud of the work they have done (even if they barely know how they even did it), and the sense of community could be a hell of a lot worse. Not needing to fear for their life every time they wake up in the morning would be nice, but you’ve gotta take what you can get, you know.

Does your muse like to travel? have they traveled in the past? Where would they like to go?

Quite obviously, Phoenix travels for work a lot. Before that, though, they never really went too far from their hometown. The concept of traveling for leisure wasn’t really at the forefront of their mind at the time. They can’t deny, though, being an agent has sent them to quite a few gorgeous locations… Though they have no desire to recreationally travel as of currently, they can certainly understand the appeal.

Does your muse believe in an afterlife? If so, what do they believe the afterlife would look like?

They… try not to think about that. If there’s nothing left for them after they die… If everything just cuts to black, and they disappear into the thoughtless ether… Well, there’s plenty of worse things to wake up to, that’s for certain.

Is your muse cowardly, or courageous? what would it take for them to act heroically or selflessly?

It’s a complicated question. If you were to ask Phoenix themself, they certainly wouldn’t consider themself courageous, even despite all they’ve done. Just about every incredibly selfless thing they’ve done- the Death Engine, the stunt in Rising Phoenix, and everything else… Well, they were just about scared shitless the whole goddamned time. Some people would consider it brave to find something heart stoppingly terrifying and still be able to do it anyways. But Phoenix just considers it embarrassing. They don’t really… talk to other agents very much (they aren’t exactly the most popular operative, even despite their accomplishments). With their limited worldview, it’s kind of hard for the imposter syndrome not to creep in. Other agents would have probably done the same things they did, had they gotten the opportunity. And they probably would have done it faster. Probably wouldn’t have hesitated as much.

What are your muse’s most negative traits? How do these traits influence their lives? (ex. if a muse is aggressive, they may have trouble forming lasting friendships.)

Phoenix is an admittedly dangerous combination of standoffish and impulsive. They listen to themself, and act without thinking. Of course, they’ve been working on that a lot more after establishing a better relationship with their handler, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t come back to bite them in the ass from time to time. … It’s so strange that people actually concern themselves about them now. That when Phoenix acts too irrationally, there’s punishments beyond the short term physical, or situational. They get hurt, and their handler gets… scared. They’re not used to that. Even despite their bond, they’ve gotten into a few pretty heated arguments about the matter from time to time. Phoenix still isn’t really used to their actions having consequences for people other than themself. But the world has been relying on them an awful lot, lately… It’s quite the weight on the shoulders.

Has your muse ever felt trapped? by what?

Ultimately- no matter how much they’ve grown used to them, and no matter how much they’ve adjusted to their life as an operative- the Agency is, and will always be Phoenix’s cage. They’re stuck there. They owe a debt, and they can’t really leave if they wanted to. Luckily, they don’t really want to… They’re not really sure what they’d be doing, if not for this… But like most things adjacent to their past, they try not to think too hard about the fact that they’re stuck in this particular career.

#ieytd #i expect you to die #agent phoenix #headcanons #ive been going kinda crazy on the feefee content lately. this is because of my innumerous diseases.#this was pretty fun even if it took an absurdly long time. maybe i'll do this again at some point #i really like my feefee interp.... swings legs and twirls hair. there's something special abt them (their illnesses)#COMPLETELY unrelated but these kids (college aged) have been out here rolling coins down the driveway hill for 30 minutes straight #its 10:40 right now #what are they doing dude......

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