#do you know how many of my friends are self conscious about just...sharing knowledge

[ssinboo]

Couture Kisses

summary: You've been in love with your best friend, Kim Seungmin since forever!

or

in reply to this lovely ask!

pairing: Fashion student!Kim Seungmin x Fashion student!F!Reader

word count: 4k (25~ minute read)

warnings: weight insecurities and mentions of body image issues that aren't resolved, author has very limited knowledge of fashion, making out, oral (f rec.), unprotected sex

a/n: This ask has been marinating in my inbox since june ... OTL I apologise it takes me absolutely forever to write TT I couldn't bring myself to write him as exactly asked, so this is very vanilla!

An entire collection by the end of winter. 

That’s your final project for fashion school.

Needless to say, you were panicking, hard. 

Not that you didn’t have plenty of sketches to pick and choose from, but it being your final assignment it had to be special. Twelve pieces, all able to stand on their own and at least one that you would model on your own and steal the show. 

Even though you tried to shimmy your way from the spotlight and just stand backstage, your professor was very insistent on you modelling at least one of your pieces. 

You absolutely dreaded the stage and the attention. 

Shy by nature, is how you were described by those close to you. And growing up larger than everyone around you took a toll on your self-esteem. 

Your sister was more than up for the modelling, she loved you and of course, loved all your work. Always your number 2 supporter.

Who was number 1? Oh, well, none other than Mr. Kim Seungmin. 

Unfairly handsome, Seungmin stood at a gorgeous 178cm with jet black hair and flowy bangs dyed a platinum blond. He had the most gorgeous almond eyes, which would adorably cross anytime he was a bit too tired. His nose was button shaped and a deep bridge that only accentuated his gorgeous eyes and the faintest little bump along its length. And his lips, gosh, his lips, you could go on and on about his perfectly shaped cupid’s bow or his exquisitely plump lower lip. (which only made his lip ring phase harder on your mental sanity). 

Not that you had a crush on your best friend or anything, of course not!

On other news, Seungmin was a lot less worried about this final assignment, given that you actually agree to his maniacal request: model for his collection. All because you had asked him to model yours.

There were models available, of course, but you could also bring your own and being able to take multiple measures, and do as many fittings as you wished helped ease your anxiety. 

“Come on, don’t be such a meanie!” You whine as he once again insists on this deranged idea.

“It’s only fair, we model for each other. Also, I introduced you to my friends so you could use them as your guinea pigs, you owe me one.” 

“That’s… different,” You shrug. You were grateful for his friends’ willingness to help and the sheer quantity of them was a perk. But you would not get up on that runaway, no way!

“No, it’s not.” 

“You know it is! You’re gorgeous… And I–”

“You what?” He interrupts with a thorny rasp. 

You jump at his sudden jab, suddenly self-conscious about your self-consciousness. 

“You know… I’m gonna make your clothes look ugly.”

Seungmin runs his tongue along his metal-clad teeth and slaps his hand over the cafeteria table.

“You’re gonna walk for me or I won’t do it for you. Don’t think of contacting me until you’re ready to give me the ultimatum.”

Harsh, yes. But he cared about you, more than he cared about anyone or anything, ever. You were the most gorgeous, caring, funny, intelligent, charismatic and talented person and his eyes. And everytime you put yourself down, it took every inch of restraint in his body to not grab your shoulders and yell just how much he loved you. 

Although, he regretted his words as soon as they left his lips. As soon as the anger subsided, he was ready to call you and take it all back. But you came running to your shared apartment, ready to apologise and agree. 

He was your bestest friend in the whole universe, you would do anything for Kim Seungmin. And it was about time you started doing it.

And all was forgotten by the time sketchbooks were splattered across the dining table and you exchanged ideas back and forth over chinese takeout. 

You were crazy about holidays and especially valentine’s day. It was only fair for your final assignment to reflect that. You had plenty of lovely sketches that were fitting for your early february deadline. But you racked your brain over the clothes that would fit Seungmin. 

Just what could possibly do his indescribable beauty justice? Any of your designs felt unbecoming of him. 

It’s when you’re splayed out on your sofa during your weekly movie night, watching Pride & Prejudice for the thousandth time over, that you get an idea. 

An idea so great you’re jumping and throwing the blanket over your half-asleep best friend. 

Seungmin, the poor fella, thinks something might’ve happened. So he waddles into your bedroom, blanket wrapped around his shoulders. 

You’re scrambling around for paper and pencils. 

“What’s up?” He asks, voice drenched in sleep. Had you not been entranced by your sudden burst of imagination, you certainly would’ve melted at just how adorable he looked.

“I’ve got your outfit,” is all the context you give him. 

“What?” He leans against the doorframe, fighting against his sleepy eyelids. 

“Mr. Darcy! How could I have not thought of it before! It was right underneath my nose!” You’re gesturing and your thoughts run all over the place, but you’ve got the brightest smile across your lips. 

And he stands there, watching you try and bring your vision to life, mumbles and grumbles coming out every now and then. Though his love-stricken smile is invisible to you.

Fabric shopping was always fun, especially when your best-friend tagged along. Seungmin had been keeping his inspiration a secret so far, despite your attempts, he was good at being quiet when he wished so. 

You looked at different textures and colours all day, leaving behind a good chunk of your savings at the chain store. But all for a good cause. 

There was plenty of cheaper fabric for mockups at home, so that’s where you started out. Since you didn’t want to bother Seungmin, his fit should be the last one – also, part of you was terrified of his look and how intricate it would be. 

You were still in the warm-toned shades of autumn by the time you had your collection ready for next february. 

All you needed were his measurements to get started on your Mr Darcy modern valentine’s day sort of look. It sounded strange to say out-loud, but the sketches looked great. 

Seungmin comes out of his room in a tight tank-top and loose boxer shorts and you gulp, tightening your fingers around your measuring tape, this would be the longest day of your life. 

Here he stands, in the middle of your room, surrounded by the fabrics you insisted he picked, with his arms stretched out and his chest available to you. 

Starting off easy, you run the tape from his shoulder to his wrists, fingernails lightly grazing his bare skin. His eyes don’t leave yours for a single second, especially when you’re standing so absurdly close. 

And when you have to basically almost wrap your arms around his chest to reach behind for the tape, he feels the odd urge to hug you and not let go.

You hugged often, of course, you did. You were best friends. 

However, standing in your strawberry lotion scented bedroom in summer pjs, feeling weirdly warm for the current temperature outside, Seungmin feels his skin burn every time your fingers meet his body. 

Seungmin is so beautifully proportionate, you think. Studying his slender arms and long legs, his torso, just perfectly built. In every way, he was destined to be the main character of a timeless romance. 

This is way past your normal antics of going all obsessed with the bodies that would fit your designs. Thinking about making the outfit Seungmin would wear for all to see. 

It’s like he would carry a piece of you. 

You’re chewing at your lower lip, revising all numbers and doing the maths in your head to gauge out how much of each fabric you’ve got left and how much you’ll need. 

“You got it?” He asks, startling you away from your thoughts. 

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Great. Your turn now,” He smiles, stretching out his hand for your sparkly, strawberry-scented pen and notepad. 

So came the dreaded day he would take your measurements.

You haven’t done your own sizing in over a year now, an irrational fear of the tape finds you each time you think about it. 

And part of you is totally ready to call the whole thing off and just beg Seungmin to please find someone else. 

But he gives you no window of space to talk, pushing you to stand in the middle of the room and pulling your arms in the right position.

And you feel extremely exposed. 

You’re so entangled in your spiral of self-hatred, you completely miss the sweat that threatens to pool at his forehead, or how often he’s gulped in the past five minutes. 

Though he constantly craved close proximity to you, this time might be enough to kill him. 

Your chest has always been the bane of his existence. Squishy, soft skin always pressing up against body whenever you hugged him happily, practically pouring out of any piece of clothing with a tighter fit. Rubbing around his arm when you’re walking hand-in-hand at the shopping centre. 

And he feels horrid for being such a pervert, he does. 

You’re his loving, kind, best-friend and he’s always ogling your body with his dirty male mind. 

God, your waist. Abundant flesh folded over in adorable rolls, so perfectly shaped for his hands and his hands only. He imagined himself grabbing handfuls of your ass, running his hands all over your hips and waist.

Your thighs, so full and creamy; in particular when you wear the one summer dress your sister gave you on your last birthday. That dress drives him absolutely crazy. Floral linen with a wrap-around layered cut that leaves his mind running around thoughts of undoing those flimsy ties and finding that gorgeous body you’re so intent on hiding. 

“Minnie?” You ask, a bucket of hot water over his flames. 

Your voice is so soft, dripping in affection as always. 

“Have you got it?”

He gulps, immediately shying away from your body lest he be corrupted by any evil thoughts. 

“Y-Yeah.” 

“Are you alright?”

Seungmin nods. 

“It’s bad isn’t it?” You scratch at your nape, eyes avoiding his.

“Wha- What?”

“My measurements,” You shrug. 

“No– No. Absolutely not, you’re fine, you’re perfect. It’s just– I’ve been rethinking my collection lately– Nothing to do with you,” He loses track of his words, rambling on and on while your love-stricken heart hangs hopelessly onto the word ‘perfect’.

“Well,” You fidget with the hem of your pyjama shirt, eyes slowly prodding at his reaction, “Anything I can help with?”

Seungmin finally smiles and your heart blooms in warmth, “Not yet, but there will be.” 

And so on, your days are consumed with the mindless routine of class and working on your project. 

Work went great with Seungmin’s friends, they were all so friendly and outgoing, you felt right at home. And everything looked perfect. Just missing one final look. 

Though Seungmin was more than willing to do as many fittings as you’d like, you both scheduled a double try-on day. Which would also be the first time you’d see his design. 

You keep fidgeting with your fingers, anxiety gnawing at your brain with every passing second. He’d locked himself in his room for ‘last-minute corrections’ and you were almost going crazy.

An hour later, Seungmin finally emerges from his room, a plastic cover draped over his design, keeping you from peeking. 

“So?!” You inquire, he keeps avoiding your eyes, for some reason. 

“I’m ready,” He nods and so do you. 

“Rock, paper, scissors, loser goes first?” You ask.

“Please,” he nods fervently and you smile nervously. 

So you stand before him.

He calls it out. Rock. Paper. Scissors. Shoot.

You put out Scissors.

And he put out Rock.

You go first.

Shit. 

Seungmin seems all too relieved, still psyching himself up to show his design. 

You pull your creation from the plastic covering and hand it to him. A creamy white button-up with flowy sleeves, a velvet crimson coat with embroidered details following its length and black leather trousers in a high-waisted cut. 

“Good luck, I guess,” You joke and he laughs.

“No need for it. It’s gonna be the best,"he says. 

Though when he finds himself changing into the set in the privacy of his bedroom, Seungmin is astonished, admiring every single detail you’ve poured into it. His fingers caress the handmade lacy collar, feeling the hours spent in every thread and stitch. 

And it fits his body perfectly; white linen drapes across his chest, hugging his pecs but flowing down freely down his torso. 

“You ready?” He calls out and you gnaw at your fingers in anxiety. 

“Yeah.”

Seungmin pads through the hallway, eyes scanning the living room until they meet yours. You smile, eyes glistening in adoration, taking in this moment as if it would end too soon.

“Wow.”

He smiles, “I know, it’s amazing… You’re amazing.” 

“No– It’s– You look so… Handsome,” It wasn’t uncommon for you to compliment each other, but this once felt too intimate. 

Seungmin blushes, scratching at his neck. 

“So… My turn, I guess?” 

“Oh, yeah,” Oh, how you dreaded this moment, not that you doubted his abilities but with your luck, you’d ruin his hard work with your subpar looks.

Seungmin hands you an opaque plastic cover, he notices your hesitation, but gives up on saying anything lest you actually give up. 

He plops onto the sofa as you leave for your room, chewing on his own lips. He hoped this dress could convey everything he felt for you, even if a little bit. 

It takes you excruciating 5 minutes to finally come back into the living room. 

Seungmin stands up, letting the cushion he’d held fall to the ground and match his jaw.

His work, – an asymmetrical white dress with a poofy skirt and a translucent layer of tulle decorated with snowflake shaped beads over its length – hugs your body perfectly.

You look absolutely ethereal standing before him with a shy smile, wearing the clothes he made with his own hands, every stitch done with thoughts of you. 

“You’re breathtaking,” 

You laugh quietly, “The dress is doing most of the work. It’s beautiful, Minnie, I don’t have any words–”

“No– You’re… Gorgeous.”

He’s serious, dead serious. 

And you’re stuck in a staring contest, standing five feet apart in your living room, time comes to a standstill. 

“You’re the most beautiful woman in the world.”

“You’re lying.”

“I wouldn't– Not to you.” 

You study his expression, searching for any, absolutely any sign of jest, but he’s serious. He truly thinks you’re… pretty?

“You think I’m pretty?”

“Yes,” Seungmin takes a step forward, “The prettiest.”

“Since when?”

“Since forever…” 

You want to believe his words, Gosh, you do. But it’s hard, it’s hard to believe anyone would look at you and think anything even remotely positive. 

“Minnie– Seungmin, please,” You breathe out, “Please, tell me you’re not joking about this– I won’t forgive you.”

“Every day and night I think of you and I can’t take my mind off how you manage to steal my breath away every damn time.”

Your heart skips a beat or ten; he steps forward and you wish to close the space between you for once but your body doesn’t move. 

You can’t take this, not if he isn’t serious, no. You would never recover from something like this. 

“Say something, please,” He pleads. 

“I think I’m in love with you.” 

Seungmin freezes.

And you curse at yourself, there, you’ve done it now. You’ve gone ahead and ruined everything.

But he lets out a sigh of relief and his hands find your jaw, pulling you toward his body at once. 

Your fingers run up the soft fabric, gripping at the freshly overlocked edges, his pale skin teasingly on display through a tiny heart-shaped window which would later be adorned with blood-red rhinestones, though some had already been placed. 

And your breath gets caught on your throat, threatened with the lull of proximity and his minty breath fanning on your lips. Nails digging into the velvet fabric of the overcoat, your eyes are stuck to his enticing chest. 

He smells of baby powder, chalk, and of the blueberry-scented shampoo you bought on sale last month. And you let his perfume lure your stupid heart into an erratic rhythm. Let the heat of his body find your own, setting your cheeks on fire. 

When your lips meet his, it’s as if a current runs through your bloodstream, awakening every cell and fibre in your body to the taste of the man you love. 

“I’ve waited for this for forever, it seems–” He whispers against your kiss-reddened lips. 

His fingers are tangled in your hair and his lips crash against yours once again. He’s forceful, desperate. All-consuming and ravenous. 

You can only melt into his touch and seep into his body, hoping to become one and never be apart ever again. Oh no, you couldn’t stand another day away from his gorgeous lips now you’ve had a taste. 

You wrap your arms around his neck and let him guide you, taking the smallest of steps back until your legs meet the sofa and you both fall down with a loud ‘poof’.

His hands cup your cheeks, tongue ravishing your mouth with relentless want, he drinks every moan and sigh before it even makes it past your lips. You’ve barely made out for five minutes and you can feel the volume of his hard-on poking at your hip bone. 

Oh, it’s an incomparable rush of dopamine to affect someone so much. 

Seungmin kisses at your lips, cheeks and jaw, nipping and sucking at your skin until he leaves behind his mark; his claim on you. His teeth graze along your skin, erupting goosebumps over its path.

“Don’t– Don’t want to ruin your dress–” You sigh, willing yourself to push him away. 

He smiles against your collarbones.

“Wanna take it off, then?”

An indescribable heat flushes your body.

“Seungmin!!!” You yell. 

“What? Take it off…” His hand reaches for the hem of the dress, toying with the soft tulle. 

“No-!” 

“Let me see your body, hm?” He hums, puppy-eyed and all.

“It’s–” You look away. You could barely fathom the idea of standing naked before anyone let alone the guy you’ve loved for ages. 

Seungmin licks his lips, “Look, I’ve– I’ve been dreaming of this– You, under me…” His fingers ghost against your bare thigh. “I– I… You have no idea what you do to me, now, do you?”

You shake your head.

He reaches for your hand and then places it above the leather-clad bulge that rages in his trousers. As soon as your hand barely grazes the fabric, Seungmin gulps. 

You’re overtaken with a desire to pleasure him.

You’re rid of the dress, – even with your pleas to treasure it, Seungmin throws it aside, eager to feel you bare. 

You attempt to cover your modesty, but he solves that issue by pinning your hands atop your head. As he truly sees your body for the first time, you watch his eyes glisten in true adoration, a dark hint of lust behind them. Your skin burns hot under his attention.

“You’ll be the death of me, y’know…” He jokes, but there’s a hint of truth, his heart pounds against his ribcage. 

He peppers kisses along your chest, tongue licking at your skin, watching you squirm and sigh at his every touch, how your nipples stand hardened and kiss-bitten. Trailing down your stomach, he makes sure to nip at the abundant flesh, to marvel at how plump and absolutely perfect you are. 

Oh, and he mumbles at every move just how ethereal you are.

His lips graze your inner thighs, licking at your skin but not where you need him the most. Every time he breathes against your aching pussy, you practically jump. 

Though he planned to tease you endlessly, Seungmin can barely hold back his wish to do nothing but lose himself between your gorgeous thighs. 

He licks a long, torturous strip along your core.

You squeal. 

But despite your squealing and squirming, Seungmin’s got a strong grip on your hips and he is making sure your pussy is all his for the tasting. And he finds it, he might be the one most affected, after all.

You taste absolutely divine, liquid euphoria flowing through his lips and eager tongue. He eats you out like the world is ending; as if this is all a dream and he will wake up alone and hot in his bedroom. 

And you moan his name with each syllable sounding more tempting than the last. 

Only once you come on his tongue, does he rest; but not for long, no. 

If it were up to him, he would get a couple orgasms out of you, lay in between your legs for hours. 

Seungmin leans back on his knees, admiring just how absolutely fucked-out you look with messy hair and heaving chest. And you look up at him with glossy, swollen lips and teary eyes. He can’t resist you, after all.

He kisses you again and again, fingers fidgeting with his trousers; Goddammit, why didn’t you put a zipper in this finger? Historical accuracy be damned when you want to fuck someone!

After his trousers are off, you urge him to lose the shirt as well and he complies. Seungmin is gorgeous; milky, unblemished skin with a slender build. 

“Look at you, so perfect– So eager– Just for me–” He breathes out, tip teasingly rubbing along your dripping core. 

You mewl, hands reaching out for him.

“Come on, baby, tell me– Tell me what you want.”

“I– I want you… I want you to fuck me.”

He curses a thousand bad words under his breath. 

When he finally slips it in, his fingers dig into your love handles, leaving behind tiny crescent moon shaped marks. You arch into him and he holds you firmly, arms wrapped around your body. 

He manoeuvres your legs over his thighs for a better angle and you feel him reach the deepest parts of your body. And you sigh, letting yourself feel full, stretched beyond bliss. 

It’s only when he notices with a devilish smirk how you’ve started to grind against his hips that he starts to move.

You are bathed in pleasure and lust.

His hands run up and down your leg, worshipping your thighs and your stomach that jiggles with every powerful thrust of his hips. Oh, and your tits, how hypnotic is it that they bounce up and down?

You moan his name over and over, mind hazy with pleasure and he lavishes in that feeling. Of rendering you cockdrunk, providing you with inconceivable bliss.

Seungmin pounds into you relentlessly, skin slapping sounds an obscene symphony that fills your ears, only accompanied by the breathy moans; Oh, the sweetest of sounds were the way he sang your name.

You clench around him, greedy and lovestruck. 

“Minnie– I’m gonna–”

“Shit– Come on, baby. Let go–” He groans out, hand reaching to rub your clit. 

Your second orgasm crashes into your body with an unstoppable explosion. You squirm and Seungmin leans forward to capture your lips in kiss, to drink your most euphoric moans. 

Hands wrapped around his back, you pull him flush to your heaving chest, letting the pleasure find your fuzzy brain. 

When he finally reaches his own climax, he pulls out, painting your skin with translucent ropes of white. Draping over your stomach pale strings of his seed, a claim. 

You’re smiling when his eyes meet yours and he is filled with immense relief; That’s you’re happy and well. 

He lays by your side, pulling you on top of him with a smile that mirrors yours. 

You lay on his chest, drawing figure eights along his soft skin to the stable sound of his heartbeat. Your own heart is draped in joy beyond comprehension. 

“I think the clothes look great,” Seungmin jokes.

You laugh. “Yeah, I think they do.”

#kpop smut #kpop x reader smut #kpop x y/n #kpop x you #skz smut #skz x reader #skz x reader smut #skz scenarios #skz imagines #stray kids x chubby reader #seungmin x reader smut #stray kids x reader smut #stray kids smut #stray kids x reader #stray kids seungmin x reader #seungmin x reader #kim seungmin smut #seungmin smut #Couture Kisses #🔖 requested #🧭skz

[roguesscribbles]

A drawing of my WoL, Ari Remko! She’s a miqo’te black mage!

I recently finally caught up with FFXIV after playing it on and off for over a year, so I wanted to finally draw my beloved WoL. Expect to see more of her!

Some information about her character under the cut!

Very kind and caring, wanting to help anyone she can whether she knows them or not. This goes as far as being considered a bleeding heart, though she doesn’t share her kindness out of ignorance or naivety. Tries to find the good in everyone, always full of hope. Fiercely protective of those she cares about, and will do anything for them and their safety.

Very food oriented, has a big appetite. Very fond of meat-based dishes. Could be related to how much she (over)works.

Can be quite shy and anxious, despite the confident front she puts up due to her status. She’s quiet when she’s with people she’s just met or doesn’t know and only talks when she’s spoken to or if she needs to. However, if you become her friend and become close with her, then her personality comes out in full bloom, and she can and will chat your ear off. Reaching that point is a sign she trusts you.

Her blooming personality is very cheerful, enthusiastic and jokey, she likes to crack jokes and bounce friendly sass off her friends. She can also be very chatty, going into rambles regarding just about anything if you give her the time.

Tying into her want to help people, she’s very much considered a workaholic. She’s always trying to find ways to help people, especially during times of crisis. When theres no work to be done, or people refuse to give her any work, she will train or do research into magic. She won’t stop working unless the people around her force her to. She doesn’t like not being busy as her mind will wander into dark places and she’ll go into a downwards spiral. Because of her status, she keeps her negative feelings bottled up (there’s a lot of them), and she will very rarely let others see her break down. If she does, she either doesn’t have a choice or really trusts you.

She wouldn’t tell anyone this, but she finds a huge thrill in fighting a strong enemy, like the primals, and the only person she has ever admitted it to has been Zenos, who left that secret at the edge of the universe. However, the trials of the last couple big events has taken it’s toll on her, and it hasn’t been at all fun when the world and the people she cares about are at stake.

She’s not nearly as book smart and academic as most of her fellow scions, and she tries not to feel too self-conscious about it. Her strength lies in combat and her in-depth knowledge of black magic, as well as her world knowledge and connections from her many travels all over The Source and beyond.

She has a huge crush on Estinien.

#wol #warrior of light #ffxiv #ffxiv wol #ff14 #ff14 wol #ffxiv fanart #ffxiv oc #ffxiv original character #final fantasy xiv #final fantasy xiv wol #ffxiv miqo'te #miqo'te #black mage #ffxiv black mage #MY OCs #female miqo'te #ahri remko #rogue does art stuff

[oneshortdamnfuse]

Hi. I saw your video on the HP game. I found your points interesting. I never got into that franchise myself but a very dear friend of mine, who is trans, grew up with this franchise and it helped her cope in so many ways. She never cared for jkr. However when the bs that woman spits out became hard to ignore it broke my friend's heart she was so upset. She decided however to seperate the movies from jkr for the sake of her childhood memories. She feels awfully conflicted about it though since it meant so much to her and is devastated the author ruined this magical world. Do you have any tips? Sorry for asking you but you seem so wise and knowledgeable. I have no idea how to help my friend out of this dilemma 😔 and I don't think telling her to look for another franchise is helpful or an appropriate thing to say

Hey 👋🏻

It's not my video specifically. I am just sharing it.

I know what it's like to enjoy media made by a person who is pretty terrible. While there are valid arguments to be made about separating the art from the artist, it's important to consider whether engaging in the art itself 1) perpetuates a harmful ideology and/or 2) gives monetarily to a person or group of people who will go on to fund a harmful activity of some kind.

The point is to think about where your money is going and to be conscious of the content you are consuming.

For example, the fast food industry as a whole is exploitative. All of these companies engage in bad labor practices and use up important resources. But. There are times when people have to eat something quick and easy and inexpensive. I don't blame people for that. However, some companies like Chick fil a are using their money to donate to really harmful and homophobic organizations. When we ask people to avoid buying from there, we run into the same issues with JKR's work. It's part of our childhood! We like it! We're just trying to enjoy our lives in this capitalist hellscape!

Yet, there are alternative products to Chick fil a. The downside for me is that most fast food doesn't meet my dietary needs, but Chick fil a has items I can eat. Still, I don't want to be complicit in their harm so I choose not to buy from them. I have to ask myself if my craving for grilled chicken nuggets is more important than the queer people being harmed by their donations to homophobic organizations and you know what? To me it's not worth it. It takes more energy out of me, but I can make grilled chicken nuggets at home.

Does that make my life a little bit harder? Yeah, especially when I have no energy to cook and I can't easily pick up a cheap meal. It's worth it to me though to make that "sacrifice." I don't perfectly avoid all businesses with horrible practices because I just can't afford to sometimes, but the point of that video is not "do no harm," but rather do less harm.

...and look, harm isn't 100% avoidable even if you tried your best. I know this. Does rereading the HP books you already have make you complicit in the harm JKR does to trans folks? I don't know. I am not the judge. However, I do know that continuing to buy JKR's work contributes to TERF lobbies and Anti-Trans legislation. Whether or not you like her work isn't important so much as it's important how the money made from her work is being used. There are alternatives to JKR - much better alternatives to JKR. It's not insensitive to say, hey, maybe this hyperfixation you have on her work deserves some self reflection and maybe distancing yourself from it can't happen overnight but it may be worthwhile to seek out content that has a similar premise but does not involve harmful tropes nor line the pockets of bigots.

Fiction is fiction, yeah.

There's many fictional works out there made by problematic people with problematic elements and the enjoyment of that work doesn't mean you are a bad person. It's normal to enjoy things with a critical eye or say, okay, I know this thing they said or did was wrong but I can separate that from my enjoyment of their work and I personally am not going to use my enjoyment of their work to intentionally harm anyone.

But Fiction is also fiction in the sense that it's not so deep that you can't possibly divorce yourself from art and artists who are actively doing harm forever or at least until they are no longer actively doing harm. There's other stuff out there. I feel like it's not as big of a deal as people make it out to be to drop something that is causing people harm, especially if it is doing harm to your own community. There are much bigger ethical dilemmas than figuring out whether or not to buy more HP content.

#asks

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #191

Do you have a large dog? If not, are you afraid of them? No, we literally have a chihuahua lol, but I'm not scared of them at all.

Has anyone ever told you that they loved you, and you didn’t say it back? Yes.

Who is your favorite photographer? Anastasiya Dobrovolskaya. She's well-known for a portrait of three different colored hair women holding three differently colored foxes.

Were you shy in high school? Not very, no.

Did the last guy/girl you kissed have any piercings? No.

Do you actually love your parents? Yes. I feel some amount of soreness and aching over my dad, but I still love him.

Do you know anyone autistic? My niece and very likely myself; I'm finally being examined for it next month.

Do you like your girlfriend’s/boyfriend’s parents? I love his mom, even though I very much disagree with her religious beliefs and how intense she is about them. I never got to meet his dad; Girt's told me that we would've disagreed on a whole lot, and he's always described him as having been a hardass, but I certainly still respect him and how dedicated a husband and father he was.

Do you like Polaroid photography? Yeah, it's very aesthetically pleasing to me.

Who was the last family member of yours that died? One of Mom's cousins recently did.

Do you have any gay family members? Yes, another of Mom's cousins, possibly second or third, idr.

Would you be upset if you caught your boyfriend looking at porn? No, I'd only be upset if he tried to hide that fact from me.

What is your favorite type of cat? Oriental shorthairs.

Who of the opposite sex has seen you at your worst? Either Jason or Girt, I can't decide which instance was really my true "worst."

Were you raised by someone other than your parents? No.

What’s the last chore you did? I emptied the dishwasher.

What is your favorite jungle animal? Probably tigers, or clouded leopards. Or red pandas... lol idk, there are so many.

Is your father injured? He has back problems, but that's all I know.

Are you part Native American? Not to my knowledge, no.

What are your pets’ names? Roman, Venus, and Cookie, whom we didn't name.

Have you ever worked two jobs? No.

What are the names of all the dogs you’ve ever owned? Trigger, Angel, Teddy, Dale, Delilah, Cali, Bentley, and Cookie are the ones I count. I think we briefly had Harley, my older sister's former dog, but it was very short-lived, and we also had a dog for like, not even a week before Cookie, and I can't remember what Mom named her in the brief time she was here, she just wasn't for us.

Would you ever get a face tattoo? It's doubtful. If I do, it would absolutely be something very small and subtle.

Who in life have you felt the strongest need to protect? Probably Jason when he had bronchitis, apparently my "mama bear" response only exists for partners and it's weird.

What is the cruelest thing a person has ever said to you? She basically called me a liar about being traumatized because I "did the same thing to her" and don't even get me fucking started on this shit

Who have you most feared in your life? My dad.

What is your strongest reason for your opinion on abortion? What goes on in someone's own body is fucking nobody else's business. You don't wanna share it with another growing life form, that's your goddamn right.

What one natural thing would you most like to see? Aurora borealis.

Do you like the game Tetris? No, it actually really stresses me out lmao

What’s the most rebellious thing you’ve ever done? I'm unsure.

Have you ever wanted to be a model? No.

Do you like your name how it’s spelled? Actually no, I prefer "Britney" since that's how you *actually* pronounce it.

Who was your first online friend? It was Mazzy!

Your last ex: how did you two get together? I actually had a dream of us together and woke realizing "... oh" lmao.

Does your mom dye her hair? Yes, she's self-conscious of her gray so adds more brown occasionally.

What’s the best kind of video game? (Adventure, shooting, etc) Horror is what I have the most fun with.

Do you know anyone who has road rage? My younger sister does.

Have you ever had a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend? No, I ain't playin that game.

Have you ever tried to break up anyone because YOU liked the guy/girl? So actually no. In the situation where my best friend's boyfriend liked me when I was 12, even though I flirted back, I didn't actually want them to break up. I was just being reckless and dumb and not truly realizing my actions had consequences until he was saying he loved me. I also never actively tried splitting Jason and Ashley up, though boy trust me my bitter ass wanted to, but I had just enough self control to not go 100% child.

Do you draw fanart of anything? Not regularly whatsoever, but I have before.

What was the last music video you watched? Did you like it? "Sport frei" by Lindemann, and it was fine, yeah.

What’s a condition you have that you haven’t been officially diagnosed with? I am like 99.99% sure I'm a high-masking autistic, and apparently ever since childhood, some people (including my mother ofc) have wondered, we just never truly looked into it.

Which one of your parents do you think is smarter? I know Mom is.

Have you ever supported anyone’s Kickstarter? If so, what was it? No, but I would if I had my own income and was exposed to one I really liked.

What band has the power to make you cry by splitting up? Oh Rammstein for sure lol, their retirement probably isn't too terribly far off and it already scares me lmao, I need ONE concert.

Would you feel funny if you kissed somebody of the same sex? I've done this before and no, I didn't feel weird.

Can grills be sexy on a guy? I think they're unattractive on anyone.

What’s your favorite comic book/graphic novel? I don't read these and never really have.

Do you prefer original or sour Skittles? Sour.

Do you find it easy to pass the time or do you get really bored? One of my primary depression symptoms is anhedonia, do the math.

Have you ever been in a Catholic confessional? Yes, don't do this shit to your kids btw, I still hold bitterness over being forced into this as a child.

Who was the last non-relative you rode in a vehicle with? Girt.

What was the title of the last song you listened to? "Altes Fleisch"

Who is the lead singer of your favorite band? Obviously Ozzy himself; Till Lindemann.

Do you expect to be married in the next 2 years? No.

Have you ever had an allergic reaction to an insect? No.

Who IMed you on Facebook last? My friend Summer.

Is there an item that you bought on a whim, but now consider it a crucial part of your life and you would or have purchased it again? Possibly, idk.

What flags do you have in your room, if any? None.

What was the last thing you ate? A sandwich.

What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? Hurricanes.

Do you or your parents rake your yard? No, it's very environmentally unfriendly anyway.

If you’re not straight, who was the first person you came out to? Sara.

What do you think of the ‘Healthy At Every Size’ movement/philosophy? I don't agree with this, and mind you this is coming from an obese person. I believe it's perfectly possible to not equate one's worth to their weight (like being fatphobic, which is absolutely evil) while still not encouraging bodies that by definition cannot function in a truly healthy manner. I more so believe in "unhealthy at any size," which is just meant to imply that someone's external appearance doesn't automatically decide their health; everyone's body is different, and what goes on inside doesn't always match the exterior.

Where did you meet the last person you swapped numbers with? She's my boyfriend's mother.

Who was the last person to add you as a friend on Facebook? Ariel, who owns the horses I recently took photos of.

#survey #surveys #random questions #personal questions #questionnaire

[cosmicangel888]

Sex is Never the Answer ~ 5D Re-Write

Anyone that thinks they can have sex with you to get 'back in' to your life, or energy or way into your work, business, secrets -

Sex is never ever the answer to anything - when you are equal, balanced, self loving and self respectful and honouring - then the equal balanced discussion - of sharing your life force;

Life force is everything - your life force is the divinity of Source, God, and the earth - and how to honour, be of blessing, great ways to uplift new ways of co-creating so that we have our children enter the earth with pure sacred love - sacred becoming -

You can satisfy yourself in many ways and doing so in self love, self expression, allowing energy to flow, and glow in natural and self honouring ways that is healing; until you heal, know who you are, and then make love not intentional sex that brings in the wounded parts of you - all is purposeful -= but be certain about what you want to manifest - no child deserves to be born into sexual trauma, and karma due to lack of self choices -

Up - levelling - #5D #cocreating #selflove #selfhonour #selfrespect

#healingdivinefeminine

Sex is never the answer to get something or used to manipulate and will invite equal entities attachment and so on - whatever you INTEND, DIRECT, FOCUS on in any way, sex or eating, creating or art - is what you manifest -

Be it STD, or infant that has to work through your choice of immaturity and giving in to lesser than use of your energy - body, mind, soul - it is all maturing in the divinity of you and who you are -

I no longer have 'just sex' - why I have been celibate for over 13 years - to truly know yourself, clear the trauma's and clear the ignorance, and imprints of what is in our social collective all are here to heal - all have sexual imprints and knowledge, wisdoms, and so on ;

Your body is sacred

Your mind is sacred

Your emotional body is everything to manifesting - balance is key

Your spiritual essence is everything - and sacred.

I understand the exchange of energy - and I get it - so those that 'think' they prey on women this way; there will be no movement

I will make it clear - there will never be a reconciliation of any person, energy of the past - friends or otherwise -=

There will never be a friendship remade - forgiveness yes - but there will never ever be a sharing of any energy - there will be no engagement -

All know what to do to make right - see the lawyer and return all monies stolen taken and business copying - sex is never the answer unless all are equal, equally healed, equally vibrational at the same self loving space, and equally ready to know the profundity of life force -

I am not interested in any connection - no past no person thinking sex is the thing; I am only only open to 5D - do the healing - do the balance and do the inner work - 5D is that which will be invited in; I have earned the sacred intentions;

I get to choose who I choose to be with; the past will not be my future and know the games are over - I will not be tested and I will not be thwarted - truth is truth - respect is respect

conscious co-creating -

Blessings and light

Joanna

#ascensionbooks

#sacredlife #sacredness #alllifeissacred

#5Dnewearth #5Dart #5Dmusic

[bananonbinary]

i will never forgive the internet for what it did to the word “mansplain”

#do you know how many of my friends are self conscious about just...sharing knowledge #about infodumping #about telling u about that cool article they just read #PURELY because theyre men? #or vaguely masc-aligned? #fuck you #mansplaining is a VERY SPECIFIC thing its not 'literally any time a man tries to make conversation' why are yall terrible #men are allowed to be excited about things and want to tell you about them

[nothorses]

Just wanted to say, finding your blog has helped my confidence in my masculinity grow so much. In so many ways it's been good for me to see other transmasc people talk about everything from their struggles to the things we love about ourselves and have pride in.

The body positivity and more "masc" features positivity has helped me to view aspects of my body I'd previously ignored and suppressed and been self conscious of as actually good and attractive and something I get to have fun with, even. In the later half of last year I decided I'd let my beard grow out to a longer length and to occupy more of my face, as well as bring back the mustache I had when I first started T. And honestly? It's exciting! There's patchiness on the jawline so I still shave there but I have hope it will improve. In fact, I went ahead and bought products specifically for taking care of my beard. It's no longer just something that I have to bear with or get rid of, it's something I'll cultivate and play with and take care of and be proud of having. It shouldn't be surprising, but when you take care of the dang thing, it's less physically unpleasant, too! Softer and neater and more in line with how much care and attention I put into other aspects of my appearance.

Also, I had the courage to really connect with my dad. I live with my parents, they're loving and supporting, they take care of me and I love them and feel loved by them. My dad isn't an exception to this, but we've kept our distance from each other. For years, I could assume he had no ill thoughts about me, my transition, my disabilities, or my mental illness. By all evidence I had his support, but what did he THINK? How much did he know? His only source of information my mom, and the filter of my experiences through her understanding to his. Last summer, I took it upon myself to find him and spend time with him. I took an interest in his projects and interests and was more vocal about mine. I told him about my friends, my life, my goals, and some of my struggles. I asked for his advice and sought his knowledge. I think a part of me had been so afraid of putting my masculinity so close to his, revealing so much of myself to him and being under scrutiny. But he doesn't have any judgement of it. It's not important to him. We can both be comfortably men without being carbon copies.

I have to stay home and avoid social outings because my immune system is compromised and the risk is too great, but I hope in the future I can take this confidence further and meet more men who I can shared my experiences with and hear them talk about their own. It's great to see a community here on tumblr and gives me hope and faith there's people in my own real life community that will give me the same kind of support. If it weren't for the harassment campaigns, I would love to say all of this off anon, but I'm sure you understand.

Anyway, I just wanted to share the positive impact of you and other transmasc bloggers being out there and outspoken and give my thanks and appreciation for all that you do. May most if not all your anons be positive and loving like this!

This is so great to hear, wow!! I'm so happy for you!

A lot of this really resonated with me, too- I think I've kept my distance from masculinity for a really long time as well, and it's taken some healing and some self-acceptance to feel more comfortable around it again. (And some un-doing of the radfem rhetoric I swallowed as a teen)

I'm so glad you've been able to do that, and it's such an honor to be counted as any part of the reason why. Thanks for reaching out & for the kind words, anon. 💙

#good asks

[tchallasbabymama]

Troubled Waters Chapter Four

Hey, yall! Here’s the next chapter of Nia and T’Challa’s journey. I’m super proud of this one (I’m proud of all my work, but still.) With the help of @wordsfromthelivingghost being a bomb ass beta reader, I think this is some of my best work yet. And I’m only gonna get better!

Check out my masterlist to read my other stories (and catch up on this one if you’re new here.) I love when y’all talk to me and share my work so others can discover it, so hit those comment and reblog buttons. Also, be sure to let me know if you want to be tagged in anything. Enjoy!😘

Word count: 8,894

CW: A little blood and cutting but NOT for self-harm reasons. If it bothers you, skip the second half of the scene at Kokou’s temple.

Nia pressed her cheek to the window, careful not to smudge the thin line of white clay painted down the center of her face. Her eyes were wide, and her mouth hung slightly open as she watched Wakanda zoom by from hundreds of feet in the air. She had always loved seeing what the world looked like from above, but it had been years since she last got to enjoy the view. When she was young, Amare would carry her in his arms as he flew high above the ground to give her a taste of what she so desperately wanted: to feel the wind beneath her nonexistent wings.

T’Challa half-watched Nia from his seat off to the side of the cabin as he flipped through news articles on his kimoyo beads. As they flew over a statue of Bast in her full panther form, he could tell the bright blue light radiating from the tunnel beneath the goddess intrigued her. Her head tilted slightly to the left, and he turned off his beads right as she turned around with a question on her lips.

“That’s Mt. Bashenga,” T’Challa answered prematurely as he stood and made his way over to the window, looking out at his kingdom as Okoye steered the Royal Talon over the Mining province.

“Why’s it glowing?”

“Vibranium.”

“Ohhh.” Nia thought back to the human history books she read as a child that told their story of the founding of Wakanda. Obviously, they had censored the part about aziza, but she still found their revisionist history fascinating. “That’s where the meteorite landed, right?”

T’Challa nodded, impressed by her knowledge.

“Ubaba always said vibranium was ‘the humans’ magic’,” she whispered just loud enough for him to hear.

T’Challa was mildly shocked. He had never considered it that way, but he supposed it was sort of otherworldly what they were able to do with the substance. In comparison to other humans, anyway.

Okoye kept her focus on flying the ship, but T’Challa couldn’t help but spot the slight glow that emanated from Nia’s skin while she ogled the scenery. The king reflected on the description of aziza he had read the day before and remembered that it mentioned their luminous skin. He had noticed that even when she was standoffish towards him, she seemed to radiate light from the inside out, but seeing her literally light up in excitement brought him joy.

When Birnin Zana came into view, Nia’s eyes curiously trailed along the tributaries that moseyed through the metropolis and she was reminded of the magic realm’s big city, Birnin Umlingo. She smiled fondly at how similar they were despite the fact that Birnin Zana was so much bigger. It was nestled between rolling hills and sharp cliffsides, and she was pleasantly surprised to see all the lush greenery dispersed throughout the city. There were small parks everywhere and most of the roofs were topped with well-kept gardens. The skyscrapers and apartment buildings stretched to the sky like the trees that lined the streets, but Nia was almost blinded when the sun bounced off of an impressive structure in the middle of the city. Two almost conical, shining towers spiraled up from an ancient foundation that swirled around the base like the flowing tributary that surrounded most of it like a moat. The towers were connected by a long bridge about a third of the way up and despite her amazement, Nia couldn’t help but wonder why they had to build two towers instead of just one.

“Bast, is that the palace?” She pointed up ahead.

T’Challa smirked proudly. He never tired of seeing the dual vibranium spires that towered over even the tallest skyscrapers throughout the city.

“It is,” he said proudly.

“It’s so big,” she whispered, then turned to look at him. “Does it ever feel empty?”

He furrowed his brows, making a little crease appear between them that Nia found endearing. “How do you mean?”

“Well, it’s just you and your family that live there, right?”

The king nodded.

“Then why do you need so much space? And why two instead of just one? It seems so unnecessary.”

Okoye bit the inside of her lip to keep from snickering at Nia’s sincere inquiries. She wasn’t too keen on Nia and wasn’t quite sure why she was there, but she had worked for T’Challa long enough to know he didn’t like people questioning him.

“I don’t- it’s not just...look.” He pointed back out the window to distract her, and Nia whipped her head around to watch their descent to the landing pad in front of the palace.

The three of them exited the Talon, but instead of entering T’Challa’s gratuitously large home, they made a left and walked through the palace gates and into the bustling streets of Birnin Zana. Nia had been to the big city before when she was young, but it seemed like it had exploded over the last couple of decades. It had always been a busy hub of commerce for the Merchant tribe, but business owners from the other tribes had moved there in droves over the past few years to get a piece of the pie.

The three of them passed through the financial district with ease. Nia kept her neck craned to look up at the tall banks, corporate offices, and massive parking garages filled with hovercars. In the distance, she saw an arena and she wondered what took place there. Did they have many concerts? Sporting events? She made a mental note to ask about that later and continued to take in her surroundings. The maglev trains zooming by high above the street caught her attention, and her eyes widened. She had never been on a train before.

They eventually made it to Three Step Town, the cultural hub of the city and Nia looked on in awe at the various businesses that surrounded them. Once again, she was reminded of Birnin Umlingo as she looked around at the diversity that surrounded her. Most of the older folks were dressed in the traditional clothing of their tribes, but the younger Wakandans seemed to prefer a more modern look. They really were a spectacle. Some people had brightly colored manes and shining vibranium tattoos that decorated their skin, and the sight had Nia’s wheels turning. She had never really experimented much with her look, but they were giving her the inspiration to try something different.

Just as Nia began to ponder what body modification would look good on her, she felt someone grab her and yank her to the side of the street. She began to protest right as a streetcar full of people rolled by. Nia turned to thank her savior, smiling sheepishly when she realized it was Okoye.

“Watch where you’re going,” the general warned harshly and let go of Nia’s arm. The two of them joined T’Challa as he spoke to a snaggletoothed young boy who had proudly shown him the Black Panther action figure that he carried everywhere. The boy’s parents thanked the king for being so polite before they said goodbye and went on their way. Nia’s heart warmed a little at seeing T’Challa be so kind to them. He could have easily ignored the family or had Okoye intervene, but he seemed to enjoy interacting with his people. As the three of them continued on their journey, a small smile pushed up the corners of Nia’s mouth knowing he wasn’t as arrogant as she assumed.

Nia was almost overwhelmed by the many shops they passed by. She could buy anything she wanted: jewelry, instruments, furniture, hats. It seemed like they had everything. However, she came to a halt when they walked by a store with colorful, hand-woven baskets hanging out front. The old lady that ran the shop noticed Nia staring and came forward to help her pick one out, but paused when she saw that the king was standing beside her. She saluted him fondly and turned to face his companion.

“Excuse me, how much for this one?” Nia asked the shopkeep as her fingers ran over the intricate patterns along the sides of a mid-sized sweetgrass basket.

“For you it is free,” the older woman said through a bright smile that crinkled her eyes. Before Nia could protest, she had already taken it down and pushed it into her arms.

“Are you sure? I can pay-”

“Just tell people where you got it,” the woman winked before going back inside to help a customer that was ready to check out.

Nia couldn’t believe how kind the woman had been to give her the gift, but her amazement was cut short by T’Challa leaning in close and ruining the moment.

“Just one of the perks of traveling with the king,” he teased.

Nia rolled her eyes and stepped away from him, continuing down the street with her basket swinging in the crook of her elbow. She had been so caught up in her surroundings that she hadn’t noticed the stares from passersby and began to get a little self-conscious. A few people even snapped a picture or two of the king and his elusive friend, some of which would surely end up on gossip blogs by the end of the day.

Her nervousness was short-lived and quickly got replaced with longing when they turned the corner and walked right through the food district. Not only did the colorful produce stands call to her, but the smells of curries and grilled meats continuously pulled her attention from left to right. However, when a deliciously sweet aroma tickled her nose, she stopped dead in the middle of the road.

“Where is that coming from?” Nia sniffed the air and veered off the main street as she followed the scent to a man that was serving up deep-fried sweet plantain on a stick, drizzled with chocolate. T’Challa kept a close eye on Nia but stayed back and let her wander up to the dessert cart alone. He watched as she engaged the man in conversation and saw her come alive when she tasted the sample he provided her. A small smile crept up the king’s face, but his amusement was cut short by Okoye clearing her throat next to him.

“My king,” she started, and he turned slightly in her direction, nodding for her to continue as he kept his eyes on Nia. “If I may...what exactly is her purpose here with us?”

“Nia is a devotee of Bast, and I believe she may be helpful in our attempts to understand what has happened to her,” he stated matter-of-factly.

Okoye sensed his unwillingness to go further into detail and grew quiet again as Nia damn near skipped back over to them with her hands full.

“Here you go,” Nia sang as she held out two of the desserts for them to take. “He saw I was with the king and gave me three for free!”

Neither of them was hungry, but they just couldn’t say no to her big, childlike eyes.

“Thank you,” T’Challa waved to the man behind the counter and took a bite of the dessert, eyes rolling back in ecstasy. “Mmm”

“See? It’s amazing,” Nia said with a mouth full of plantain. Even Okoye had to agree.

The three of them ate their midmorning snack as they strolled through the streets, eventually making their way to a much quieter section on the outskirts of the busy city center. Just as Nia finished licking the last bit of chocolate from the wooden stick, she came face to face with an ancient-looking stone building that didn’t quite fit the vibe of the modern neighborhood. Her eyes zeroed in on the large statue at the entrance. It was a being with the body of a man and the head of an ibis holding a scroll in one hand and a staff in the other.

“Welcome to the flagship branch of the Wakandan Public Library,” T’Challa said proudly.

While Nia loved a good library, she was a little confused about why they were there. “I thought we were going to a temple.”

T’Challa wiggled his eyebrows as he stepped past her, climbing the steps with Okoye in tow, “This is the temple.”

Nia’s curiosity got the best of her, and she followed behind the king and his general. They threw their sticks away in the trash cans outside of the doors that swished open as they approached. Nia hadn’t expected the building to have such modern technologies based on the look of it, but she surmised the library would have a few more surprises up its sleeves.

“Kumkani wam!”

All three of their heads turned towards the woman behind the large marble desk as she scrambled to salute the king, dropping the small stack of books from her arms. T’Challa quickly rounded the desk and smiled at her as he crouched down to pick the books off of the floor. Before she could stoop down to help him, he had already placed them neatly on the desk.

“T-thank you, my king,” the woman stammered and pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. Never in her life had she imagined she would be so close to royalty, much less her biggest crush. “What can I do for you?”

“Well…” he started, trailing off to get her name.

“Fatima, sir.”

“What a beautiful name,” he flirted innocently and leaned on the cool marble as Nia and Okoye both fought their eyes from rolling to the ceiling. Okoye was used to his flirtatious manner making women swoon at his feet, but it still irked her to no end. They had a job to do, and he was wasting time. Nia, however, felt the tiniest tinge of something deep in her gut as she watched him make eyes at the beautiful librarian. She waved it off as annoyance since she still wasn’t the king’s biggest fan. Adding “womanizer” to her list of reasons not to like him certainly tipped the scales further away from him, balancing out his actions from earlier.

Fatima giggled as she struggled to make eye contact with the handsome king, “Thank you, your highness.”

“Please, call me T’Challa,” he implored, resting his hand over his heart and flashing his irresistible smile.

“Oh, no. I couldn’t do that-”

“I insist.”

Okoye cleared her throat, and T’Challa’s eyes reluctantly shot in her direction.

“Anyway, Fatima, we were wondering if Abdu is in today,” T’Challa continued as he straightened up and stood to his full height, making Fatima swoon even more in his presence. Her eyes wandered down to his chest, but she snapped out of it and attempted to look him in the eye. Her knees nearly buckled under the intensity of his gaze, but she stood firm.

“Y-yes, he is, my ki-”

T’Challa reprimanded her with a simple raise of his right eyebrow, and she quickly corrected herself.

“I mean, T’Challa,” Fatima giggled once more. “I’ll go get him for you.”

“Thank you, Fatima,” he smiled down at her, watching as she walked away with a pep in her step and her hips twitching just a little more than usual.

Fatima disappeared behind a green velvet curtain, and when they were sure she was out of earshot, Nia and Okoye both turned to look at the king. They wore matching expressions of disapproval, but, for some reason, it stung to see on Nia’s face.

“What’s wrong?” he asked her.

“Must you flirt with every woman you see?” Okoye butted in, clearly exasperated by his antics.

Nia’s eyebrows jumped as a teasing smirk settled on her lips. “Oh, so this is a common occurrence?”

“You wouldn’t believe how many-”

“General,” T’Challa warned, and Okoye stopped talking.

Nia tried to contain a laugh, but it came out more like a snort than she intended. Just as T’Challa opened his mouth to make fun of her, Fatima appeared from behind the curtain with a heavy-set man with tortoiseshell glasses just a few steps behind her.

“T’Challa, my boy! Oh, excuse me, my king.” The man bowed sarcastically and crossed his arms in a salute. T’Challa waved him off with a smile and a click of his tongue, and the two men embraced each other. Nia had noticed T’Challa wasn’t really one to demand formalities, but the man’s familiarity with the king intrigued her.

“Abdu, how have you been?”

It had been several months since T’Challa last visited the library. Abdu had worked and worshipped there for decades and had watched the king grow into the man before him. Some of T’Challa’s fondest childhood memories consisted of him spending hours curled up in the stacks, flipping through whatever book caught his eye that day. Abdu would bring him story after story for him to get lost in, and the older man never tired of T’Challa’s curiosity. No matter how many questions he threw at him.

“Getting old, but I can’t complain,” the much shorter man said as they pulled apart. He looked around T’Challa and noticed his company. “Okoye, a pleasure to see you as always.”

“You as well, Abdu,” she smiled.

“And who might this lovely creature be?” Abdu asked as his gaze fell on Nia. She bristled at his choice of words but said nothing. Even as a child, she had always been sensitive to the word “creature” and felt it offensive to refer to non-humans as such. She knew he had no idea about her bloodline, though, and since he meant no harm she simply ignored the terminology.

“Nia Olu, sir,” she introduced herself with a nod of her head, and he returned the gesture.

“Ah, a beautiful name for a beautiful woman. And what is it that you do, Nia Olu?”

“I am a healer and a devotee of Bast.”

“A devotee, huh? Well, I think we will get along nicely,” he smiled warmly at her before turning back to the king. “What can I do for you all today?”

“Well, actually, Nia is a big part of why we’re here,” T’Challa began. “It seems Bast has gone missing. Neither of us has been able to contact her as of late.”

“Are you a priestess?” Abdu asked Nia, confused as to why a simple devotee would be partnered with the king for such a task. Okoye felt vindicated by his questioning but stayed quiet.

“No, sir.”

“Then, I must say, I’m a little confused on how you would have a direct connection to her-”

“She is highly favored in the goddess’ eyes,” T’Challa cut in, hoping his vague answer would be enough to dissuade Abdu from asking too many questions. He knew it wouldn’t be easy to hide anything from a priest of the god of wisdom, but he also knew he couldn’t give away Nia’s full identity. “We were wondering if maybe you could see if Thoth knows where she is or why she isn’t answering.”

Abdu could tell there was something else to the story, but decided not to press the subject. He figured that if the king felt it was important enough to keep from him, then he had to trust his judgment.

The priest nodded and motioned for the three of them to follow him. T’Challa winked at Fatima before falling in step with Abdu, and once again, Nia’s and Okoye’s eyes struggled to remain straight ahead as they followed behind the two men.

Nia couldn’t help but stare in awe at the rows and rows of floor-to-ceiling bookshelves they passed as they walked through the centuries-old library. She imagined herself spending hours combing through the texts and soaking up whatever knowledge held, just like she did with the many books Amare provided her with as a child. Her daydreaming was cut short when they passed through the children’s section, and she noticed a display of picture books, one of which caught her eye. There, on the cover, was a colorful illustration of an aziza sitting in a tree, watching over a group of children as they played in the grass below him.

Before she knew it, Nia had grabbed the book and started flipping through the pages, scanning the words and pictures for any sign of historical truth. She found none, but her hope didn’t die out. Maybe, just maybe the library held onto more of the past than the Wakandans realized. She knew magical creatures were relegated to folktales, but she began to wonder how many of those tales were historically accurate, if any. She hadn’t noticed that the others had stopped and were watching her tear through the book like it held the secrets to the universe.

“You like that one? It’s a fairly new release. Very popular with the children,” Abdu said, but his words fell on deaf ears.

“Nia?” the king called out to her.

She jumped and dropped the book, but T’Challa caught it before it could hit the ground.

“Yeah? Sorry, I just…” Nia trailed off, unsure of what to say. All three of them looked at her curiously, but when T’Challa’s eyes graced the cover, he understood why she had been called to it. “Are there many stories like this?”

“Of aziza?” Abdu asked for clarification, and Nia nodded. “Sure! Kids love fantastical creatures. You know, some of them even swear up and down that they’ve seen them in real life.”

T’Challa and Nia shared a quick glance as he set the book back where she found it. Of course, Okoye caught their quick exchange.

“Such wild imaginations,” Nia murmured, and the group continued on their trek. She was quiet for a moment as she tried to figure out the best way to word her next question when she decided to just go for it. “Abdu, is there any mention of, um, species that are no longer around in any of these books?”

T’Challa looked at her knowingly out of the corner of his eye. He knew what she was getting at, and he was curious about Abdu’s answer. After seeing Nia’s book the day before, his mind had begun to wonder about ancient Wakandan texts. She had told him that they coexisted long ago, so there had to be some evidence hidden deep in the bowels of the library. If there was proof anywhere, it was here.

“Of course!” Abdu said excitedly and pointed to the far left wall. “Species naturally go extinct all the time. If that interests you, check out our history section over there.”

Nia and T’Challa both cataloged that information for later and started mentally planning their next visits.

The deeper they traveled into the vast library, a tingling grew in Nia’s stomach. There was great power there, and she could feel it. The tingling intensified as they arrived at a large door with an image of Thoth that had been hand-carved by artisans long ago.

“We’ll take it from here, Okoye,” T’Challa ordered, and the general nodded before standing at attention with her back to the door. Then, his eyes fell to Nia. “Ready?”

“I think…”

“That’ll serve you well here,” Abdu joked as he pushed open the heavy door.

Nia wasn’t quite sure what she was expecting to see, but a winding staircase certainly wasn’t on her list of possibilities. The three of them quietly descended the steps, and all that could be heard was the sounds of their sandals connecting with the stone as they went. After what seemed like forever, Abdu came to a halt at another large door and turned to face his visitors.

“You must enter with pure intentions and a cool head, or he will not answer. Understood?”

Nia and T’Challa answered in unison.

“Yes, sir.”

“Of course.”

“Good,” Abdu smiled at them and reached for the handle, pushing it open and revealing what looked to be a private study. The lamps along the stone walls lit up when they entered, and Nia was once again amazed at how the ancient seemed to flawlessly combine with the modern. As she looked around, she noticed that instead of books, there were scrolls stacked neatly on the shelves. A high-backed chair sat behind a large wooden desk with several scrolls strewn about it, and in the center of the room, there was a stone lectern that looked like it had been there since the dawn of time. Colorful pillows surrounded it on the floor, and next to it stood another statue of Thoth. This time, his hands were out and he was holding a staff that resembled the one from the statue out front, except this one was made of gold. This one was real, and it made the hairs on the back of Nia’s neck stand at attention.

Abdu made his way over to the closest shelf and grabbed a scroll from the top of the stack. He then crossed the room again and stood behind the lectern. When he unrolled the scroll, Nia and T’Challa were both surprised to find that it was blank. They watched with bated breath as he produced a shiny gold pen from his pocket and removed the staff from the statue’s arms.

“You two, come sit down,” Abdu said to them, pointing to the floor pillows.

They obeyed his order, and each grabbed a pillow. T’Challa sat cross-legged while Nia carefully placed her new basket on the floor and tucked her feet under her. They waited patiently while Abdu mumbled a prayer under his breath. Despite T’Challa’s enhanced hearing, he could barely make out what Abdu was saying, but the more he spoke, the colder the room became. The priest continued his prayers for several minutes until the staff began to glow with blinding orange light and his mouth snapped shut tight. A soft breeze blew through the room as his eyes glowed the same color as the staff, and the pen in his left hand started to frantically scribble words onto the formerly blank scroll. His hand moved faster than humanly possible, and Nia recognized what was happening as a possession. She bowed her head in the god’s presence and nudged T’Challa in his side to do the same. He followed suit, but neither of their eyes left Abdu, too curious to look away.

It seemed like forever had come and gone as the two sat in silence, watching in awe while Abdu filled the scroll as he channeled Thoth. The only sound that filled the air was the fast-moving pen on the papyrus and a faint humming from the staff, but suddenly, it all stopped. The staff’s light waned, and Abdu blinked his eyes back to their normal shade of hazel. He carefully placed the staff back in the statue’s hands and read over the words he had been given from his god. A frown appeared on the priest’s face, and Nia made eye contact with T’Challa. Neither one felt good news was coming.

“Well,” Abdu broke the tense silence, “to sum it up, it seems Thoth hasn’t seen or heard from Bast in several weeks. He says that’s very unlike her, as I’m sure you know, T’Challa.”

The king nodded. “Is there anything else? Did he say where she might be?”

“Oh, he said plenty, but not about your question. He can be quite long-winded at times,” Abdu murmured as he scanned the text once more to make sure he wasn’t missing anything. He then looked down at his two visitors with an apology in his eyes. “I wish I could’ve been of more help.”

T’Challa stood from his seated position and reached a hand out to Nia. She swatted it away and stood on her own, straightening out her long, flowing skirt before sending Abdu a warm smile. “Thank you for trying.”

“It was a pleasure, my dear.”

“So,” Nia turned to the king, “where to next?”

--------

The smile never left Okoye’s face as she landed the Talon in an open field and proudly led them to their next destination. They had traveled to Okoye’s hometown in the Mining province, and she nodded at her former neighbors as they waved to get her attention. It wasn’t often that she could return to Birnin Djata, but since she was on duty, she had to remain professional.

The town was much smaller than Birnin Zana, and the walk to the temple was much shorter this time around. A few moderately-sized dwellings lined the road to the temple, and Nia could see the town square in the distance. They passed groups of miners boarding and exiting the trains that took them to and from work, and Nia couldn’t help but wonder what all that vibranium looked like up close.

When they arrived at the temple, Nia was pleasantly surprised that this one actually looked like a place of worship. The wall that surrounded it looked as old as time, but the vibranium door in the center had to be no more than a hundred years old. A strange sound echoed from inside, and although Nia thought she recognized it, she was confused on why it was coming from a temple of all places.

“Is something wrong? What’s going on in there?” she asked with concern, making Okoye’s smile expand and her eyes light up.

“Sparring.”

Nia’s confusion grew, and she turned to T’Challa for clarification.

“Kokou is the god of war. Fighters often train here, and many of his followers go on to become great warriors. Including Okoye,” he explained.

“Ohhh, ok.”

Okoye led them up the temple’s steps, and Nia’s attention was drawn to the rows of fire that lined the walkway. As the party of three got closer to the doors, they slowly parted to grant them access. Loud shouts and grunts came from the right, and Okoye led them down the hallway, directly towards the noise.

Nia watched excitedly as the warriors-in-training sparred with one another. Fists connected with flesh, spears sliced through the air, and fighters seemed to glide across the padded floor. She recognized some of the fighting styles and thought back to her younger days when Amare took it upon himself to teach her some of the combat skills he had to learn for his days as a secret operative. Even though she was a healer, Nia sure was scrappy and could hold her own. It had been a while, though, and she was sure she had forgotten her training over the years.

A bell rang on the other side of the training room, and all of the fighting ceased. Okoye bowed her head in deference as a tall, muscular older woman in red emerged from an observation room and smiled softly in her direction.

“My king,” the woman saluted T’Challa, making all of the fighters whip their heads around and salute him as well. The woman crossed the floor as her trainees stood at attention, and grabbed Okoye’s hands in hers. “Okoye, my dear, it has been too long.”

“Priestess Yaa, how good to see you.”

“And my king, welcome to the Temple of Kokou.”

“Thank you, priestess.”

“What brings you here?” she asked before shooting a sly glance at Okoye. “You never come visit anymore, so I know it must be important.”

“My apologies for keeping her from you,” T’Challa interjected.

“None needed. I knew when Okoye became general that she would have little time for us anymore,” Yaa waved him off and smiled proudly at Okoye before her eyes fell to Nia. “And who is this?”

“Nia Olu,” she respectfully bowed her head.

“And you are a fighter too, no?”

“Um, not exactly. My father taught me how to fight when I was young, but I am a healer and a devotee of Bast.”

This was the first T’Challa had heard of her knowledge of combat, and he wondered what else he didn’t know about her.

“I’m sure it’s still in there somewhere. You have a warrior’s spirit.”

Nia was surprised by the priestess’ comment but thanked her nonetheless.

“Priestess Yaa, we have a problem that you might be able to help us solve,” the king stated.

Yaa nodded and called to her class, “Keep sparring. I’ll be back.”

The room came alive again, and Nia couldn’t help but watch the dozens of bodies moving about with powerful grace as they fought.

Yaa gestured for them to follow her, and she led them around a corner to get away from all the noise. “How can I help you, my king?”

“Bast is missing, and we would like to ask Kokou if he knows where she is,” he cut straight to the point, and Yaa appreciated his brevity.

She gestured again, and the four of them relocated to the other side of the temple. They entered a large, empty room with nothing except a wall of ancient weapons and a huge, raging fire pit in the center.

“This eternal flame was gifted to us by Kokou many millennia ago as a way of contacting him,” Yaa narrated. “In order for him to answer, you will each have to give a sacrifice.”

“I didn’t bring anything to-”

“Blood, dear. You sacrifice blood. He is the god of war, after all,” Yaa chuckled as she glided over to the wall of weapons. Her fingers danced along the flat side of the blade of a vibranium dagger with a red and gold hilt before wrapping her hand firmly around the grip and removing it from its position. Yaa tested the weight of it in her hand as she rejoined the group. Without warning, she sliced her palm open and allowed her blood to drip into the flame. The priestess noticed the look of horror on Nia’s face and attempted to quell her fears. “Don’t worry; you’ll only need a drop or two.”

Okoye was first to step up, pressing the dagger’s tip into her hand and drawing a small amount of blood. She handed the dagger to T’Challa as she made a fist and let her blood droplets fall into the fire pit. The king did the same before passing the dagger to Nia. She looked at it apprehensively, but T’Challa continued to hold it out for her to take.

“Go on, dear,” Yaa urged. “We will heal you up after.”

Nia and T’Challa locked eyes as they were both reminded of the night they became reacquainted with one another. T’Challa’s wound would quickly heal on its own, but she wouldn’t be able to use her powers to heal herself in Yaa’s and Okoye’s presence. She took a deep breath and tried to ignore the feeling of her palm stinging with the memory of alcohol pads. T’Challa knew where her mind had wandered to and took her formerly injured hand in his as he ran his thumb over her palm.

“It won’t be as bad as last time,” he whispered so only Nia could hear him. “Just a little cut, ok?”

Nia’s mouth dried up, and her eyes traveled to Okoye and Yaa. The priestess seemed intrigued by his tenderness towards her, but the irritation on Okoye’s face was clear as day. Nia remembered that he was a serial charmer and removed her hand from his. She reached for the dagger and quickly pricked her finger, squeezing a couple of droplets into the flame.

Yaa set the dagger aside to be cleaned and watched as the flames grew in intensity. All four of them stepped back when the fire surged towards the sky and took the vague shape of a man.

“Kokou,” Yaa fell to her knees, and the others followed her lead. “Thank you for answering our call.”

“Where is the fight?” his voice boomed around the expansive room as what looked to be his head swiveled from side to side taking in the four who summoned him. He had no eyes, but Nia felt his gaze land on her and linger for a moment too long.

“There is no fight this time, but we have an inquiry,” Yaa said as she stood.

“Very well,” Kokou’s voice rang out again, and the flames whipped in T’Challa’s direction. “What is so important that the king requires my assistance? Have you not a god of your own?”

T’Challa looked to Yaa for reassurance as he began to stand, and she nodded for him to continue. “Yes, I do, but she is missing.”

“Missing?! What do you mean missing?”

“She has not spoken to me in weeks, and Thoth has not seen or heard from her either.”

Kokou turned back to Nia. “And you have not heard from her?”

“No, sir,” Nia stood tall as she answered him.

“I am surprised she has not spoken to you of all...people,” he said with a mischievous lilt in his voice. Nia stilled as she realized that he knew what she was. She slyly made eye contact with T’Challa, and though his expression was unreadable, she knew he had to have heard it, too.

“You know, blood can tell you a lot about a person...or being,” Kokou began to pace around the large fire pit. “Who they are, what their lineage is...you, Nia, are very special. But I am sure you know that already, don’t you?”

Nia ignored the confused stares from Yaa and Okoye and stared straight into where she assumed Kokou’s eyes to be. “Yes, sir.”

“Good.”

“Kokou-”

“Patience, your highness,” the god chastised T’Challa, “I was getting to it. I just had to take a little detour first since you brought me such an interesting young lady. Now, to answer your question: sorry to disappoint, but no. I do not know where Bast is. I wish I did, though; she is an excellent sparring partner.”

Nia and T’Challa both deflated a little bit. They had hoped for a better answer than that.

“Thank you, Kokou,” T’Challa spoke with his head bowed to the god. The others did the same, and just as quickly as he had appeared, Kokou was gone.

--------

“Third time’s the charm,” T’Challa mumbled as he held the intricate iron gate open. Nia and Okoye walked through, and the general was blown away by the beauty before them. The botanical gardens sat on a protected stretch of land on the border between the Mining and River provinces, but people from all over the country traveled there to witness its splendor.

Nia, however, was no stranger to the gardens. She made sure to visit a few times a year just to sit and commune with the diverse group of plants, but she never knew it doubled as a place of worship. She liked that the gardens were never full of people, and depending on how deep she veered off the main walkways, she could avoid the public altogether. Except for the delightful presence of one of the attendants, Nia always managed to find solitude and serenity among the plants of the botanical gardens.

“Has this always been Mujaji’s temple?” she asked as the three of them followed the long, winding path that led to the greenhouses in the back of the gardens.

“As far as I’m aware. Why?”

“It’s just that I’ve been here before, and I never knew. I always felt like there was...something here, but I just assumed I was feeling the energy from all of the plants.”

“You can do that?” Okoye asked, and she caught another shared glance between Nia and the king. They had been doing that all day, and she was growing tired of it.

Nia opened her mouth to try to fix her slip-up, but she was saved when a young woman about her age emerged from behind a mango tree and recognized her colorful headwrap.

“Nia?”

“Sukutai!”

Nia ran over to her, and the women embraced. A smile crept up T’Challa’s cheeks at seeing Nia’s faint glow again, but, unfortunately, it seemed that Okoye might have seen it as well. The king ignored her pointed stares and continued to watch Nia and the woman from afar.

“What are you doing here? It’s been months since I saw you last!” Sukutai playfully scolded her before leaning in like she had a secret to tell. “You have to see the new fire lily blooms; I know they’re your favorite.”

“They are,” Nia chuckled, “but I’m here on business today.”

“Business?”

Nia gestured behind her, and Sukutai’s eyes widened in shock as she finally noticed T’Challa and Okoye standing in the distance.

“My apologies, my king,” she quickly saluted him, but he waved her off.

“None needed. Any friend of Nia’s is a friend of mine.”

Sukutai’s eyebrows almost reached her hairline as she turned back to Nia. “I know we don’t know each other very well, but how come you never told me you knew the king?”

“He’s new,” Nia shrugged nonchalantly.

Sukutai shook her head fondly at her friend as T’Challa and Okoye came to stand next to her.

“What brings you to my humble garden, your highness?”

“I would say this is anything but humble, priestess,” he chuckled. This time it was Nia’s turn to be surprised.

“Priestess?!”

“Yeah, I don’t like to advertise it,” Sukutai shrugged.

“Well, I guess we both have our secrets,” Nia teased, making her friend giggle.

“I guess we do.”

“Sukutai, we are here because we need to speak with Mujaji. Bast is missing and-”

“You need to see if he knows where she is.”

“Yes,” T’Challa nodded.

“Right this way,” Sukutai said as she stuck her elbow out for Nia. She wrapped her arm around it, and the two of them took off, chatting about the flora they passed on the way.

Sukutai led them to the back of the botanical gardens towards the greenhouses. There were several smaller ones scattered around that were about the size of Nia’s home, but the very last greenhouse was huge. It stood about two stories tall and expanded across an acre of land.

“How did I miss this?” Nia wondered aloud.

“You weren’t looking for it,” Sukutai winked. “Too distracted by the pretty flowers, as usual.”

“You should really pay more attention to your surroundings, Nia,” T’Challa teased, and she narrowed her eyes at him. Despite the fact that she was still very hesitant to trust Nia, Okoye had to stifle a chuckle at her attitude. It was refreshing for her to see a woman that seemed to be immune to his charms.

The four of them entered the greenhouse, and Nia was amazed at what she saw. Instead of beautiful flowers and lush trees and bushes, there were rows and rows of crops.

“I knew you had some fruit trees, but I didn’t know you grew other foods here, too,” she said with her mouth wide open.

“We have to. Who do you think taught us how to work the land?”

Nia nodded as she soaked up Sukutai’s words. It had never occurred to her that the humans had to learn agriculture from somewhere...or someone. She wondered if aziza had learned from him, too, and if so, why hadn’t she heard about it? Were their history books incomplete, too? Nia’s train of thought was cut short as they arrived at the center of the greenhouse. There was a large patch of soil surrounded by an old stone wall no more than two feet tall. A small plaque near the opening caught the visitors’ eyes, and they crowded around to read it.

“The first garden?” Nia gasped, and her eyes traveled to the rich soil.

Sukutai smiled proudly, “That’s right. This is where Wakandans first learned how to grow sorghum. Mujaji’s magic still inhabits the land, and he allows us to speak to him through it.”

“How does it work?” T’Challa asked, equally in awe of the plot of land that allowed his people to prosper. Yes, they had vibranium, but what use would that be without the ability to feed themselves? Had they remained hunter-gatherers, they never would have gotten to where they are today.

“I’ll show you,” Sukutai said as she untied her shoes. “Nia, would you like to help?”

“M-me?”

“Yes, you, silly. You have the heart and hands of a gardener.”

“What do you need me to do?”

“First thing’s first, shoes off,” Sukutai instructed, and Nia slid out of her sandals. “Now, you see those jars full of seeds over there?”

Sukutai gestured behind them, and they all turned around to follow her line of vision.

“Yes,” Nia’s voice shook as she spoke.

“Don’t worry about what each one is. Just go pick whichever one calls to you.”

Nia nodded and padded her way over to the table covered in glass jars. She felt the power radiating from each one, but she felt compelled to pick up a small jar full of green coffee beans. Her hand instinctively reached out to touch it, but she pulled back and looked to the priestess for permission.

“Go ahead, take one,” Sukutai urged, and Nia carefully screwed the top off. She reached in and grabbed one of the beans, and walked back over to Sukutai.

“Ok, how does this work?”

“We start with a yes or no question. Let’s try ‘Do you know where Bast is?’ and go from there, ok?”

“Ok.”

“Follow me.”

Sukutai stepped onto the sacred land, and Nia did the same. The ground seemed to vibrate, and Nia’s face lit up. The slight glow returned to her skin, and this time Okoye was sure in what her eyes beheld. She quickly turned towards T’Challa, who looked at her out of the corner of his eye but kept quiet. He shifted his weight away from her nervously and continued to watch Nia and Sukutai work.

“You feel it too, huh?” Sukutai asked with a sly smile on her face.

“It feels...it feels like my feet are buzzing.”

Sukutai’s head cocked to the side, and her eyes narrowed as she tried to understand exactly what was happening. Nia obviously wasn’t a priestess of Mujaji, yet his magic spoke to her in some way. That wasn’t normal, and neither was the faint highlight that appeared on her skin.

“Yeah, it does,” she agreed and shook the suspicions out of her head. She knelt to the ground, and Nia followed suit. “Hold the seed in your hands, close to your face- yes, just like that. Now, close your eyes and let it feel your energy. When you are ready, speak to it. Ask your question.”

Nia shut her eyes and focused on the feeling of the seed in her hands. She pictured it growing big and strong, and after a few moments, her mouth was filled with the taste of coffee. It was ready. She brought it closer to her lips and whispered, “Do you know where Bast is?”

When she peeled her eyes open, she saw a huge grin on Sukutai’s face.

“You’re a natural.”

“Thanks,” Nia giggled. “What now?”

“Now you plant it.”

“Anywhere?”

“Wherever you choose.”

Nia studied the ground around her and turned a little to the left. She held the seed in her left hand as she made a small mound in the dirt with her right. She gave the seed one last glance before pushing it into the soil.

“No water?” she asked.

Sukutai shook her head with a mischievous smile, “No need.”

“Ok...so now we wait?”

“It won’t take long. Usually about-” Sukutai’s eyes widened. “Look!”

Four sets of eyes trained on the tiny green sprout that pushed up from the ground.

“It’s never happened that fast before.”

The sprout turned into a seedling, and the seedling matured right before their eyes. Just as hope began to fill the air, it left, and the coffee plant shriveled up. The leaves turned brown, then a murky black before decomposing entirely. Everyone’s shoulders slumped in defeat, and silence descended upon the group. Without even asking, they all knew it was a resounding “no.”

--------

The silence was thick on the ride back to Nia’s. Okoye flew the Talon with a million questions running through her mind, all of which seemed to come back to Nia. Who is she? What is she?

Nia left her position by the window, no longer interested in the ground below, and met T’Challa by his sand table. She watched for a moment as the molecules dispersed and recollected themselves in the shapes of the temples they just visited and the gods they just contacted. He chewed on his lip as he tried to put the pieces together, but there just wasn’t enough information.

“T’Challa?” Nia spoke softly to keep Okoye from hearing.

“Hm?” he grunted without looking up.

“What if the problem isn't in this realm?”

The king tore his eyes away from the table, and the sand fell flat.

“You are suggesting we go to the magic realm?”

“Again with the ‘we,’” she sighed. “No, I’m suggesting I go to the magic realm.”

He stared at her blankly for a moment before calling out to Okoye, “General?”

“Yes, my king?”

“You will travel back to the palace alone-”

“No-” Nia tried to stop him.

“I will be staying with Nia a little while longer. I will call when I need you.”

“Yes, my king.”

Nia dragged her hand down her face, then immediately looked down and noticed the clay that had transferred to her palm. She pinched the bridge of her nose and groaned in frustration, both at the king and at her careless mistake.

“T’Challa, I just said-”

“I know what you said,” he snipped, “but this is my kingdom, and I need to know what’s going on.”

“But-”

“I’m going with you, and that’s final.” He turned away and joined Okoye in the cockpit.

Nia sat off to the side and pouted the rest of the way home. When they arrived, Okoye reluctantly left the king behind and flew off to the palace.

“She could’ve just stayed outside, you know,” Nia fussed as they entered her home. “Now she definitely knows something is up.”

He rolled his eyes, “She knew something was up the moment you started glowing.”

Nia froze and mentally kicked herself for not using the glamor spell her ubaba had taught her. She was in such a rush that morning that it completely slipped her mind. The smug look on T’Challa’s face made her want to slap him, so she stormed down the hall to her bathroom to fix her facepaint. As soon as she finished, Nia heard the king make a strange noise and looked out to see what he had done. A laugh erupted from her belly as she watched the king stand on the couch to get away from Sego. He glared at her, but his eyes promptly fell back on the python that was too close for comfort.

“Call off your snake!”

“Python,” she giggled. “Sego, stop messing with him, please.”

Sego turned her way, and Nia could see the playful look in his eyes. He thoroughly enjoyed messing with the king. T’Challa climbed down from the couch and let out a calming breath as Sego slithered away to the kitchen.

“So the mighty Black Panther is scared of pythons, huh?” she mocked him as she leaned against the doorframe.

“Not scared...I just don’t like them.”

“Mhm. If it makes you feel any better, he’s not fully a python. He’s a shifter.”

“Meaning…”

“Meaning sometimes he’s in his human form, sometimes he’s in his python form.”

T’Challa thought about it for a moment. “Actually, that does make me feel better. Thanks.”

Nia smirked and rolled her eyes.

“So,” T’Challa cleared his throat, “what now?”

“First, we go see my ubaba, then the queen.”

“Ok...how do we, you know, get there?”

“It’s easy,” she bragged as she walked over to him. “Give me your hand, and I’ll show you.”

Nia reached out to him, and when their hands connected, an image of the two of them sharing a feverish kiss popped into her mind. She gasped and pulled back as though she had touched a hot stove.

“What is it?!”

“N-nothing, I just,” she had to think of something quick. “My headwrap. I take it off when I go to the magic realm...to, uh, let my ears breathe, you know?”

“Um, ok.”

Nia hurried from the room and left T’Challa standing there, confused about what just happened. He knew she was lying despite the fact that her excuse had some semblance of truth to it. Thanks to the heart-shaped herb, T’Challa could hear her heartbeat, and something had caused her heart to almost beat out of her chest. His suspicions didn’t last for long, though, because when she came back from her room, his jaw dropped. Of course, he had noticed her beauty the first time, well the second time, he laid eyes on her, but as she came down the hallway fluffing her coils out into an afro that framed her face like an obsidian halo, he felt a knot form in his chest.

“Ready?” she asked, obviously over whatever had been bothering her.

“Yeah,” T’Challa cleared his throat. He was suddenly parched. “Ready.”

“Ok.” She grabbed his hands again, but this time there was no vision. Nia sighed in relief and looked him dead in his eyes as the atmosphere around them began to thicken. “Be cool. Don’t embarrass me.”

Next Chapter

Taglist: @maddeningmayhem, @theblulife, @motheroffae, @love-mesome-me, @toni9, @bribrisback, @dersha89, @impremenior, @ljstraightnochaser, @love--life--passion, @yourstrulybrii

#cecewritessometimes #troubled waters #tchalla x oc #black!oc #black panther fanfic #black panther au #Youtube

[melias-cimitiere]

Regarding Channeling

Lately several things have come to my attention regarding people’s opinions and stances on channeling spirits and deities. As someone who has been doing this for many years, I feel compelled to write some notes about making contact effectively while trying to avoid some common pitfalls.

 First of all, it is not a trifling matter nor should it be taken lightly when bored or indecisive. I heard people simply not knowing what to do and while feeling bored, they try randomly to see “who’s willing to talk to me”… such things are not the right way to approach the spirits or the deities. It should be a conscious effort of dedication, not something to fill time when idle. Secondly, sometimes I have heard they attempt to channel without actual prior knowledge of the spirit; on occasion they even wanted to do this with spirits of the dead, hauntings or other entities that they had not met before and were full of unknown variables. It must be mentioned that while doing channeling you allow a part of your mental space to be “shared” with the entity / spirit. Therefore if you don’t know what you are doing or if you allow such mind-sharing with an unknown being, it could potentially have detrimental effects on your mental health. Emotional outbursts and impulsive behavior that are out of character are all too common, but more severe and enduring effects could occur. I had two friends in the past who were not too careful and ended up with mental health disorders.

 A third thing to bear in mind is that you should take all the necessary steps to make this contact as good as possible; even if you are good at it, even if you know the spirit or deity beforehand, it is good practice to make the right environment for the contact. This is two-fold: by the right environment, most people understand the outer environment as being conducive to the channeling; no distractions, the appropriate offerings/objects for the spirit (if available), preferably without bright lights, incense, etc. However the internal environment is just as important. A calm and serene mind, a body in relaxation are perhaps too obvious, but remember that you also need to part with your “everyday self”, putting it aside. If this is not done, the message will get contaminated by your own ideas, thoughts, past experiences, fantasies, and will end up being untrustworthy. I have heard several people who think of themselves as experienced who fail to do this, believing that they can simply bypass the problem just because they have talent, strong will or good technique.

 It is vital to the procedure to learn to put aside one’s ego and to allow space in yourself temporarily in order for the spirit to speak better. You do this by practicing emptiness in yourself, a feeling of hollow space (not linked to depression), as if you are receptive and totally trusting without reservations. Obviously one can see that unless you absolutely trust the spirit or your safety precautions, it can be a really bad idea as it can lead to possession (or even lesser troubles, but in some cases enduring and causing severe grief). Contrary to what many believe, this is, indeed, a difficult skill to master as it is exceedingly difficult to be free of illusions while doing this, and only through years of practice combined with talent you may see satisfactory results.

 You must always remember that spirit or deity channelings must happen with free will and without coercing the entity or forcing yourself to do this. If one fails to take this into account, they will soon discover how much of a bad idea it was. Sooner or later, bad spiritual practice always produces negative states which can be felt in the person’s life, so be cautious of this. Do not be easily impressed with wild claims and exciting prospects, but instead, try step by step and advance yourself through solid training. There are no substitutes for a spiritual life (by spiritual, I mean a life in direct communion with the spirits); once a person has tasted it, they never go back to mundane life as it seems hollow and empty of promise. So the desire to channel for yourself or others may be strong; however always temper it with reasonable expectations based on actual achievement and skill, practicing at every opportunity. It takes years but in the end, the rewards are too profound to mention. I certainly never looked back; but I also never trivialized it or made it sound easy and quick to master. The gates of knowledge are open to those who willingly devote themselves to the practice of spirituality. Be patient, and work meticulously. Like everything else that demands time and serious practice, it has costs and there are personal sacrifices to be made at times. But my voice joins those others who walk this Path and say, it was worth it.

#spirituality #luciferianism #deity work #spirits #channeling #medium #spiritual practice #paranormal #psychic #oracle #entities #spirit channeling #invoking

[mythicamagic]

"You couldn't handle me even if I came with instructions."

Okay, curiosity got the better of me, and even though there are so many good prompts to choose, I settled with this one. There is no telling which way it will go, but it sounds amusing! Have fun! ^_^

Decided to do something different with this involving mind reading, hope you like.

----

Becoming privy to Sesshoumaru's thoughts happened about as unexpectedly as one would think. Having returned from the future after three years, Kagome had figured the amount of weirdness in her life would scale back a bit. The jewel was gone, and everyone was enjoying their 'happily ever afters' so surely she could finally gain some semblance of normalcy in the past, right?

'Irritating…'

Kagome shifted, sneaking a glance at the Daiyoukai as he sat at the base of a tree. His voice resounded inside her mind, seemingly without his knowledge or consent. He was eyeing something flitting about mid-air. A fly, she suspected.

Golden eyes shifted, slit pupils keen. A hand blurred, catching the thing between forefinger and thumb.

'Die.'

Green light shone out from between his fingers, successfully killing his 'prey.'

Kagome supposed it was somewhat comforting to know that his thoughts were about the same as whatever words he deigned to speak aloud. The psychic ability she'd gained only applied to Sesshoumaru, and had happened one random day when she'd been fighting a demon.

Between one moment and the next- a presence had warmed her side as he'd deflected an attack meant for her. This had resulted in sharp, static red youki swallowing their forms briefly- Sesshoumaru's energy rushing through her system. It had stolen Kagome's breath and sent her heart thundering.

A second later, she'd started hearing his thoughts. Most startling of all, they'd begun with something completely unexpected;

'I will keep you safe, foolish miko.'

Biting her lip, Kagome snuck another glance at him- only to find Sesshoumaru gazing back. Squeaking, she focused on her forgotten work, roughly weaving a basket with a little more force than necessary.

"Are you alright, Kagome?" Sango asked, sitting beside her on the grassy hill as they prepared a few herbs and useful things for Kaede.

"Fine! Totally f-"

'Her scent is erratic, yet the woman continues to sneak glances at me. How odd. Is she becoming interested in this one? It is long overdue.'

"What?" Kagome questioned out loud, feeling Sango’s perplexed stare. The heat of another pair of eyes warmed the nape of her neck.

'Hn, I have not sensed her pine for the Half Breed in many months after their breakup. It is possible she is looking for another male. The miko is not promiscuous enough to trifle with me. She requires...a lasting bond.'

Biting her lip, Kagome's eyes burned with want to look at him again.

'Could I keep a miko? She is not like others. They usually despise my kind- and I do not care for them. But this bratty, fiery woman has proven herself through her dealings with the Jewel and the Spider. Mn...the thought of having her should not stir my blood so,' he sighed in her mind. 'Perhaps once I accept my interest in her, the vivid fantasies will stop.'

What fantasies? she wondered.

Kagome really should not have asked, because somehow a lewd mental image of herself was projected from his head directly into her gawking brain.

Standing quickly, skirts swaying about her thighs- Kagome forced a smile. "I-I forgot to do something earlier! Sorry Sango, I'll finish up with you later."

Hurrying down the hill, she stiffened upon hearing a silky voice trail after her inside her mind.

'Why is she leaving? This is unacceptable. She takes her mouth-watering scent with her,' he seemed to pause contemplatively. 'Must your retreating form be so pleasing to the eye, Kagome?'

Kagome flushed red, feeling the urge to cover her ass while running from the unexpected thoughts. However, she kept her hands at her side- a weird thrill of excitement racing down her spine.

Like a radio broadcast sounding out from a speaker- the further she ran, the dimmer his velvety voice became.

---

Emerging from Kaede's hut a few days later, Kagome fussed with her new clothing. Miko robes felt somewhat uncomfortable, but Kaede had insisted she at least try getting used to wearing them for a few days.

She honestly couldn't imagine walking around in such garments as a permanent uniform. They reminded her too much of someone else.

'No.'

Kagome jerked, freezing in place and pretending to fiddle with her collar, trying to secretly glance around for the elusive Daiyouaki.

'...Those robes do not suit her. What's more- her light scent is muddied with unnecessary feelings. Those clothes make you self-conscious, do they not, miko? Take them off.'

Blinking, Kagome's heart warmed slightly inside her chest. He could read her so easily? He...cared about how she felt?

"And those pants cover her long legs. Disgusting. You are the one who forced me into appreciating a woman's thighs, miko. Bare them to me again.'

Hissing a short breath through her teeth, Kagome whipped her head to one side- spying Sesshoumaru lingering by a hut about 40 yards away. He stiffened, blatantly surprised she'd pinpointed his location so easily.

'Could she sense me?'

Blushing, Kagome cleared her throat and gave a slight wave, before disappearing back inside the hut. She wanted to test something, and the fluttering inside her lower stomach was getting too prominent to ignore.

---

Stepping out after a quick wardrobe change, Kagome pretended not to notice him again, fiddling with her cute modern outfit. She felt more at ease in her home wear, and the voice in her head seemed to agree.

'That is much better…' Sesshoumaru's tone slid into that of curiosity. 'You feel mischievous, miko? Now why is that? I sense your fluttering excitement.'

Raised her arms above her head nonchalantly, Kagome arched her back as she stretched.

'What…?' the thinness of his tone almost made her grin ferally. 'What...are those?'

Kagome had never intended to wear them. In fact, she'd stuffed them deep inside the depths of her backpack because Yuka, Eri and Ayumi had taken it upon themselves to buy her something 'sexy' for her bad boyfriend and Souta had innocently walked into her room one day while she was packing. She hadn't had the heart to tell her friends she'd broken up with Inuyasha a long while ago.

She had no need for black lacy thigh highs, complete with suspender garter belts resting enticingly on her thighs. Or at least, she hadn't until today. Kagome stretched with a little more exaggeration, letting out a breathy sigh as her pleated skirt hitched up, exposing more of her toned legs to his gaze.

A terribly loud noise deafened her hearing like a clap of rumbling thunder, heralding a storm. Kagome realised a little belatedly that it hadn't been contained to the privacy of Sesshoumaru's mind- the growl rippling through the space between them.

He stood much closer than expected, golden eyes pinning her in place.

"Oh- hi there, Sesshoumaru," Kagome hid her surprise behind a smile. "Something wrong?"

The Daiyoukai's burning, orange eyes searched her face. Slowly, they dimmed back into gold, as he realised there was nothing appropriate he could say.

'Do you know what you are doing, little minx? Or are you completely unaware of how badly I desire those thighs wrapped around my waist?'

"Nothing," he said out loud, face completely devoid of expression.

Kagome arched a brow. He had a damn good poker face.

"Well...okay," she lifted a shoulder, taking a few steps away. "But you know, if something was bothering you, it would be better all round to just tell me. I'm not a mind reader."

Mild intrigue flickered. "I do not think you would appreciate knowing my innermost thoughts."

"Try me."

Sesshoumaru's lips curved, his blank expression cracking into something more honest and imperfect. Human, almost, in its raw appetite- the demon circling around her slowly like a predator. "The dark hungering of an inuyoukai is not something that pure and pretty miko's could stomach," he uttered.

Kagome took a breath, keeping to her bravado. Because if she didn't keep her courage, the thoughts she'd heard so clearly inside her mind would remain exactly that- formless. Never touching reality.

And that felt like a shame.

"Maybe not all of them could, but I've journeyed across Japan with a perverted con-artist and been kidnapped by dark and terrible demons much bigger than you," she hummed, keeping eye contact. "And I'm not promiscuous or anything, but I'm not a prude either. Given the right person, even I can get a little...hungry."

She heard a sharp in-take of breath. Sesshoumaru stopped, lingering in close proximity as his voice dropped into something downright sinful. "How surprising."

Kagome lifted a shoulder. "Not really, but judging by your hesitancy to share anything on your mind- maybe my 'dark hungering' would be too much for you."

Golden eyes flashed. "Preposterous."

"No, no- I think it's true," she gave an impish smile. "You couldn't handle me even if I came with instructions."

This seemed to snap his carefully constructed facade of control. Sesshoumaru's claws snapped out, fingers trembling as they gripped her hair. A fierce breeze lashed around them as Kagome realised he'd collected white energy around their forms- speeding them out of sight into the lush forest. Away from the safety of witnesses. None could save her now.

Sesshoumaru bore down over her, neck craned, mouth hovering close. It was sharp teeth that brushed her parted lips first.

'I will have you- strange, enticing, annoying woman.'

Kagome shuddered, blue eyes darkened as her thighs rubbed together. Her hands met silken robes, gliding up into silky hair as his arm swooped down, hooking beneath her knees.

While their lips crashed together and Sesshoumaru held her aloft- Kagome smiled and wordlessly obliged by wrapping her thighs around his lean waist, giggling as the taciturn demon inwardly purred.

#Sesshoumaru x Kagome #Sesskag #asks

[sakuric]

birthday.

synopsis!it all happened with a cake and some cupcakes.

wc!2.2k

pairing!sakusa kiyoomi x gn!reader

a/n!HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE LOML!! have this one shot i wrote.

the early morning’s sun shone through the thin curtain of your window. you rubbed your eyes awake and stretched your arms over your head, before sliding the curtain to the right side and admiring the sunset. the way all the hues– orange, yellow, pink –mixed together reminded you of the way sakusa’s face would blush when you called him pet-names.

sakusa loved pet-names, and that was a thing no one knew about him, except for you. kiyoomi classified you as someone he could always trust, so he told you about his day first thing when he got back. you're his walking diary, and you didn't mind it.

he told you jokes that atsumu told him, he’d tell you about the way his favourite chemicals work, he’d show you a new way to spike or ask you to help him exercise his wrists.

you blasted your favourite songs, from the playlist you and kiyoomi created, while getting ready. today was a saturday, the least busy day of your week, so you decided to just roam the streets of tokyo and try to find something to spend your time on.

sakusa, on the other hand, was tracking how much his heartbeat rises whenever he looks at you. he had pictures of you, and himself, in a special folder in his phone, and choosing one of the pictures, he looked down at the fitbit on his wrist and saw his heartbeat rise.

he, also, decided to play some music while still thinking of you. he had a separate playlist on another music app (so you couldn't see it), and it was all songs that reminded him of you. the current song playing was yellow by coldplay. he knew that the song had a meaning, and he knew he had to find his own yellow, or soulmate as people like to say, yet he thought it’d be obsessive if he called you his soulmate. for that exact reason, he hid the playlist in another app, moved all the pictures with you into the hidden part of his gallery and tried to shake off any thoughts about you.

his fingers tapped the screen of his phone as he dialed your phone number, which he had memorised, before hovering his finger over the green ‘call’ button. what if you're busy? he wouldn't want to disturb your day, neither would he want to be annoying. he went over all the possible what if’s, and by the time he gathered the courage, you had facetimed him instead.

“hey, omi-omi,” you huffed, your breath creating warm fumes in the cold air. god, how he loved when you called him that; even if atsumu came up with the nickname, you saying it was a whole different feeling. if atsumu continued calling him that, he’d make a disgusted face and swat him away, however, when ‘omi-omi’ leaves your lips, his heart does a double backflip and lands into a split. he feels delighted and bright inside.

“hey, y/n.” he answered, checking his fitbit and seeing his heartbeat spike up higher than before. he hid that hand in his pocket as he started strutting around his living room while talking to you. you offered to meet up and spend the day together, as neither of you had any plans and were incredibly bored. (and it was also his birthday, which he thought you forgot about.)

“uh,” sakusa hesitated, calculating everything that could go wrong if he said yes, but then imagining you get upset if he said no. “..sure. let me get ready and i’ll meet you there.”

“yay!” you exclaimed, before blowing a kiss at him and ending the call. sakusa sighed, placing the phone in his pocket and getting ready to go out.

“omi!!” you exclaimed, wrapping your arms around his neck as he leaned down and wrapped his around your waist, pulling you into a warm and tight hug. sakusa pulled away after inhaling enough of your smell. (he didn't want to be weird, but he likes the perfume you use and how you overall smell.)

“let’s go to that café we always go to,” you smiled at him as you grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the café. sakusa hated crowded places, you knew that, but he had given you consent to bring him anywhere as long as you're there with him.

he feels safe when you’re around him; you're like a walking home to him. he always feels comfortable, the way you’d feel sitting by a fireplace on a cold, winter morning. his hands don't feel weird holding yours, and if it was anyone else he’d hide his hands in his pockets, but he appreciated you and felt comfortable enough to, maybe, share some germs with you.

“hey, you okay?” you pouted, seeing sakusa’s eyebrows knitted and his face showing signs of overthinking; for the past few years of knowing sakusa, you picked up on his habits and the way he handled situations. he’d make a certain face when overthinking, secretly pinch the back of his hand when he’s nervous or jog a little faster when he’s excited to see you.

all of this knowledge about your best friend still didn't save you from what was about to come. sakusa gave you a bright smile, a prominent dimple decorating his cheek as he told you, “i’m okay, y/n. let’s go get the coffee and head to go shopping.”

“you..” a mumble left your lips as you placed a hand over your mouth. you were surprised– no, you were smitten. it felt like the whole world stopped and it was just you and him in the café, standing in line and looking at each others eyes. your heartbeat reached the highest of numbers as you felt the sight of sakusa’s dimples engrave his name into your heart.

“i.. what? do i have something on my face?” sakusa quickly put on his mask and hid his face behind the large palms of his hands. he was self-conscious about his own looks, even though he's been trending on social platforms for being one of the most handsome faces.

“no..” you hummed, still amazed by the way you couldn't notice it before. you grabbed his hands and removed them from his face, holding them tightly and saying, “you.. you have a dimple”

“oh, yeah.” sakusa let out a small chuckle. “it came up recently. did you like it?”

“i love it.”

sakusa blushed, but his mask concealed it completely. he motioned for you to go order first, as he ordered after you and you left the café with two coffee’s in both your hands. sakusa offered his hand, which you politely agreed to hold, and you both started walking towards one of the many shops.

“wait here,” you spoke, giving him a reassuring smile as you left him to sit at the bench outside of the cake shop. you decided to confess today, even though it was his birthday. it’d be like a gift, right? you ordered the cake and waited for it to be done. you saw sakusa doodling something on the small hand sanitizer bottle that he had gotten.

it was a pineapple scented hand sanitizer, one of your favourite scents. you knew he didn't like scented hand sanitizers, so why did he buy it? maybe it’s for a friend, a family member. either way, you smiled at the thought of omi finally finding a pair. he was always so closed off and never wanted to have a s/o, but maybe this change was good. good for both you and him.

what you didn't know, was that he didn't want an s/o, because he had you. he knew that one day, he’d gather enough courage and ask you out, ask you to be his. while waiting for you to get back, he took out the scented hand sanitizer and a pack of sticky notes, along with a pen. he came up with this idea while getting dressed to meet you. he thinks he’s ready.

you came back with a box of cupcakes and a cake box stacked on your hands. sakusa stood up and helped you by taking off the top box. (which, luckily, was only the cake.)

you decided to go back home before giving him the cupcakes. the train ride back was quiet, you both exhausted from walking and talking about nonsense. sakusa’s arm was draped around your shoulders, while the other one held the cake box. you got comfortable and placed your head on his shoulder while closing your eyes.

“don’t fall asleep yet, y/n.” sakusa huffed through his mask. you looked up at him, your eyes forming crescent moons as you smiled. he felt his heart flip and turn, tugging at his chest. his lungs tensed and it felt hard to breathe. “i won't fall asleep, omi-kun.” you grinned, turning your gaze down to where your phone was. you clicked the camera icon in the list of apps and turned it around to face you. sakusa noticed and put up a peace sign as you took a picture. you giggled and accidentally clicked the sound up button, which took a picture of you smiling brightly and sakusa’s eyes forming small crescent moons as he smiled slightly under his mask. the picture was unexpected, but it was one of the best you’ve ever taken.

“omi-kun! look at how pretty you look!” you exclaimed, zooming into his face in the picture. sakusa looked closely, trying to figure out what was ‘pretty’ about him in that picture.

“i don't see it.” sakusa raised a brow, admitting to not knowing how beautiful he was. you sighed, rolling your eyes and looking up at sakusa. “stop saying that, omi-omi. you’re handsome and you know that!” you pouted, which caused sakusa to smile a little. he knew he was handsome, but he enjoyed hearing you call him that.

“do you think i should post this?” you asked, typing out a caption under the said picture. sakusa eyed the caption; on the move with my favourite boy!! @msby.sakusa <3 . sakusa nodded and so you proceeded to hit ‘post’.

sakusa invited you to go to his house after the trip, which was unusual, because he doesn't prefer people entering his home. you carefully took off your shoes in the corridor and placed them in the right place before entering his home.

the house he had was located in the further east part of tokyo. it didn't have many houses around it, which seemed fitting for sakusa's taste. the interior part of his house was decorated with few paintings and other home decor. one of which caught your eye; it was a picture frame of him and the msby team, another picture frame next to it had you and sakusa in it. you softly ran your finger over sakusa’s face in the picture, smiling to yourself. sakusa quietly observed you from the doorway to his living room. he leaned on the wall, arms crossed on his chest and a small, genuine, smile on his face. you placed the picture down and turned to see sakusa eyeing you. a blush creeped upon your face as you fixed your hair and entered the living room.

“so, uhm..” you started. “i asked you to hang out because it's your birthday and i didn't want you to be alone during such a special day.” sakusa’s heart already melting at what was about to come. “i got you this cake, which you already saw, but i also got you these cupcakes. “ you handed him the box, which he opened. he widened his eyes at the icing on the cupcakes. each of the cupcakes spelled out “i like you.”, which sakusa thought was a dream. he quickly pulled out the sanitizer and note from his back pocket and gave it to you. “i guess both of us had something we wanted to confess…” sakusa spoke as you read the note.

y/n, i like you. be mine?

it was straight-forward, yet it made your heart flutter at such care. you returned your gaze at sakusa, who was still eyeing the cupcakes he had placed on the table. he looked back at you, opening his arms to embrace you in a hug, which you gladly took. pulling him in close, you hoped this moment would never end. his arms embraced you in the warmth of his body as he mumbled something into your hair. only a while after, you realised he kept saying ‘be mine, be mine, be mine’

“i’m yours, kiyoomi.” you answered, looking up at him. his face was painted a light shade of crimson, which you found cute. it was just like the sunset this morning, you thought. sakusa leaned in, hesitating to press his lips on yours. you noticed, and leaned in to save him the struggle.

you both pulled away after a while, both of your faces tinted with blush. sakusa let go of you and went to open the cake box. his heart strings tugged as he read what was written on the cake;

happy birthday, omi-kun ♡︎

and to his diary, kiyoomi spoke; “thank you for the best birthday i’ve ever had, darling.”

© all work written by sakuric is not to be posted on any other writing app or website without notice. if it is found to be reposted without consent, rightful action will be taken.

#sakusa kiyoomi #happy birthday sakusa #sakusa x gn!reader #sakusa #msby sakusa #kiyoomi sakusa #sakusa x reader #sakusa x you #sakusa x y/n #sakusa fluff #msby fluff #haikyuu #hq #haikyuu!! #haikyuu fluff #— zero writes

[floralovebot]

Helia and Tecna friendship headcanons? -lambofzenith

AHHHHHHHHHH okay so

helia is really bad at technology right? pretty much anything that isn't covered in red fountain lessons, he's a complete no-go at. tecna takes it upon herself to try and help him understand basic technology a bit more and it goes so wrong. helia is literally the mom that squints their eyes and holds their phone away from their face while using One pointer finger to type everything. tecna hates it so much.

helia naturally doesn't understand a single thing that comes out of her mouth when she's talking technology but he still supports her nonetheless

helia is surprisingly rational most of the time! he's a firm Push All My Emotions Down And Then One Day I'll Die kind of person so even during really stressful missions, he's good at keeping a level head about things. tecna really appreciates this and it's not rare to see her, helia, and timmy discussing mission-related strategies During The Middle Of A Fight

tecna has a tendency to talk while she works (only noticeable around people she's comfortable with though) but she gets a little self-conscious about it. she knows it's not Bad or anything, but it doesn't seem Right either so she tries to keep quiet most of the time. helia on the other hand is so used to working while it's noisy that he's totally chill with it. they've gotten used to just vibing in the same room, working on their own things, and not actually talking to each other during it. they're comfortable around each other :) helia doesn't mind when she rambles out loud and tecna doesn't mind him pacing around the room every five minutes. symbiotic relationship.

tecna doesn't like talking about what she went through in the omega dimension, even with timmy. however, she does occasionally draw things out when she really needs to vent and can't think of any other way how. she's always been good at sketching due to her background in designing gadgets so this wasn't a weird transition for her. helia told her about this anonymous place for artists to submit their art with absolutely no names attached and after checking to make sure it was legit and she was completely safe, she started to submit one or two a year. she doesn't like to do it often but it does help to sort of "get it out" without actually talking about it.

while helia is notoriously Bad at video games, he does actually like the more "physical reality" ones (think that virtual reality tecmy scene!) mainly because it feels close enough to real life that he doesn't need to rely on just technology to do it. tecna and helia often have very competitive gaming matches but specifically within those kinds of games otherwise, he's really bad at it and she gets annoyed that he can't remember any of the buttons.

speaking of competitions, helia has an inner bet going on of How Much Can I Pretend To Not Know Jackshit About A Specific Technological Topic Before Tecna Notices. what he doesn't know, is that tecna knows he does this and has her own inner bet of How Long Can I Explain This Specific Topic Before Helia Gets Bored And Moves On. so far, the score is mostly even, with helia only winning because timmy isn't aware of this mental battle and will often jump in to explain things too. helia is very smug about this and tecna can't say anything to timmy otherwise she loses the fight that no one actually set firm rules on.

timmy is just really happy that his two best friends are also friends and sometimes he tries to invite helia and flora on their dates. tecna is okay with this only because she thinks it's funny. florelia were also okay with it but started to not be because they realized that their version of a date and tecmy's version of a date was extremely different. they've started to come up with increasingly ridiculous excuses for why they can't go and so far timmy is the only one that hasn't noticed. poor timmy, he genuinely thinks flora's best friend cactus is sick and needs care 😔

when timmy isn't available, helia will call tecna for any technology related issues he's having. on one hand, she likes that he trusts her and can rely on her, on the other hand, she's told him ten separate times not to leave his computer running all the damn time. (tecna: please turn the computer off when you're not using it. this will immensely help solve all of the problems you've been having. helia: okay so i'm gonna leave it on all the time?). he's not trying to be difficult though. he just forgets everything and assumes it should work regardless (he a little stupit).

roxy gets so much gender envy from both of them and it confuses her all the time. they have no idea what a gender envy is though and they're mostly just wondering how they stop giving it to roxy since it seems like it agitates her??? help please???? researching the matter doesn't help and it ends up becoming a meme on winx stan twt because tecna made a very official and serious post asking about the severity of "gender envy" and needing to know how contagious it is. now whenever either of them posts, earth teens just comment gender envy at them. helia still doesn't know what it means.

they don't watch movies/tv together but they will binge-watch the same shows and then talk about them later on. tecna's formatting is still very formal and functional meanwhile helia bounces off multiple points and forgets to make a conclusion. he stresses her out so much.

helia notices when tecna has stayed up too long for too many nights and will occasionally send her a "please sleep" message when he knows timmy is already asleep and can't do it. she doesn't always listen but sometimes she will, but not before sending the same message back because why the fuck is he up at this hour huh dumbass?????

tecna has a pet bird and helia has multiple cats and they absolutely cannot be in the same room together. her bird is constantly trying to fight his cats and while they're usually well behaved, he's genuinely scared they're gonna try to eat it (tecna: stop calling my bird an "it"; helia: stop putting your bird near my cats 😐)

they actually don't like hanging out when one of them is upset. they both have a hard time talking about their emotions (for different reasons obviously) and they always end up feeling like they have to say something when they're together. they just really prefer hanging when they're both in a good mood or at least calm. whenever one of them gets upset, they stop hanging out together until that person feels better.

connected to the last point, you'd think that would mean they don't know a lot about each other, but they surprisingly do! they're both relatively observant people (tecna gets better every year) and they're actually really good at figuring out why the other is upset and what would help. they just don't talk about it.

although, on a similar note, the one time they did have an emotional talk, it was about timmy. tecna was feeling upset again and worrying over whether or not she's "too logical/not emotional enough" and it was the one time where she actually allowed herself to hang out with him while being upset. they had a genuine heart to heart about things and especially about how she's way too hard on herself. they thought it would be awkward since they actively avoided this kind of thing but it wasn't! it went very naturally and helia even teared up a bit. he's very proud of her and the effort she makes every day and since that talk has been much more vocal about it.

when they went to earth in s4, they both spent way too much time learning about Earth Things; tecna about earth media (canon), and helia about animals since that's what flora was talking about. he started calling tecna "chip" after that because chipmunks reminded him of her. she disagrees with this assessment and he refuses to admit he mixed up chipmunks and squirrels. he still calls her chip to this day, and fortunately, it's grown on her. unfortunately, he calls timmy "chip" too, and now it's a hassle to figure out who he's talking to.

helia is surprisingly interested in zenith technology despite not understanding it all! he enjoys walking through the streets of zenith with tecna while she proudly points things out so he can go "ooo aaa" at everything. sometimes she tries to explain how things work and his mind starts playing elevator music automatically. tecna has gotten really good at knowing when helia is just. brain empty no thoughts because she recognizes the Empty look in his eyes. she enjoys catching it live and trying to figure out why he's just. not thinking (usually it's because he either doesn't understand something or got bored) (this happens often when sky starts talking) (sorry sky)

tecna is one of the winx (besides flora of course) that helia trusts the most. not in an emotional or friend way, but in a physical, we're on a mission way. she has good control of her magic and knows how to use it. she's good at thinking of strategies and applying them properly to the situation. and after the omega dimension, he had a newfound respect for her previously unknown to him survival skills. if he were even in severe danger, she would be the first winx he'd call (depending on the situation, she is occasionally ahead of flora).

helia is really bad at sharing details. he tends to go straight to the conclusion but doesn't share how he got there (adhd king 😌) and tecna is the best person to call in when this happens. her logical questioning makes it seem so easy because she has the patience and knowledge to connect the dots and ask the right questions. when anyone else tries its more like (helia: i'm sitting in a pool of blood; person: uhm do you know where it's coming from?; helia: probably the stab wound; someone: did you get stabbed??; helia: oh yeah definitely.)

#lamb.. i love them so much... #the comedy potential with these two are just off the roof #winx club #winx tecna #winx helia #answered #lambofzenith #mine.headcanons #ugh ik i mentioned it on the trivelia post but this made me think of the backstory i made up for helia #because tecna plays a big part in it later on in the story #i have an entire rewrite that i refuse to ever actually write ajhgljadlg #but tecna plays a big part in helia's Main Arc in the story... and its so self indulgent i just really love these two #posting now.. when no one is awake.. ajkdhljaghdlj

[ghosthan]

hello!! i saw that you made a lot of stuff for 1872 and i was wondering if 1872 tony is similar to regular comics tony?? i know mcu and comics tony are different and i want to get into 616, but if 1872 comics are more easy to read i might try those first! 😅

Hello, hello! 

Thank you for asking, and sorry it took me so long to get back to you! I wanted to think about it and put together a thoughtful response because I am desperately trying to convert MCU fans to 1872. Or comics fans who just haven’t gotten into 1872.

This post will contain some 1872 spoilers, but not the Big Spoiler that you probably already know about anyways. 

Anyways, let’s get into it. Yeehaw.

What is 1872? It’s Steve/Tony in the wild west.

1872 comics are very easy to read, very short, and you need absolutely no prior knowledge to get into them; I highly recommend these as a start point for MCU fans who are curious about dipping their toes into some of the other Steve/Tony universes. And 1872 is, indeed, a Steve/Tony universe. It’s really gay, (and dramatic.) Uh. So gay, in fact, that one of the comic artists who drew pages even occasionally shares Steve/Tony shipping memes. So.

Marvel 1872 is a four issue series released as a part of the Secret Wars event; you really do not need to know anything about this to enjoy 1872, because it is a self-contained alternate universe in a “pocket dimension”, meaning it’s totally separate from the 616 cannon but technically exists in the expanse of the multiverse!

Here’s the summary:

In the Battleworld zone of 1872, Sheriff Steve Rogers faces corruption and fear in the boom town of Timely. Can Anthony Stark pull Rogers' fat from the fire? Probably not, since the only thing he seems capable of pulling is a cork from a bottle. Things in Timely are bad, and getting worse — and when a stranger arrives in town, Timely will be changed forever.

Now, to compare “regular comics Tony”, or 616 Tony, with 1872 Tony.

The main difference? 616 Tony wears this sexy little under suit (or nothing) under his armor, like this:

And 1872 Tony wears dirty, stinky one-piece pajamas under his armor (not sexy):

He’s so gross, he’s a mess. I love him. You’ll love him, too. 

No, okay. Being serious.

 616!Tony’s backstory is a lot more complicated just due to how long the character has existed, and the decades of cannon (much of it self-contradictory at points.) Like MCU Tony, 616 Tony used to manufacture weapons, experiences something life-changing, and becomes who he is as a result of this as a catalyst. 616 Tony’s backstory has been rebooted a few times, and I’m definitely not the definitive source on Iron Man lore compared to people who have read all of his comics, but I’ll try to touch on the basics.

Originally, 616 Tony Stark is shaped by his experience in the Vietnam War. This is later rebooted and changed to war in the middle East (we see this in the MCU when Tony is held captive in Afghanistan.) In both circumstances, he is taken captive after being in the air for war technology, and then he creates the suit to save his own life (losing a beloved mentor in the process, the guilt of which stays with him after.)

Tales of Suspense #39

In 1872, Tony’s formative event is the Civil War in some ways, but in other ways, this is only half of it, because this is not the event which causes him to build armor or set him onto his “become a better person” trajectory, like in the other comics. Mainly, the Civil War functions to cause Tony to stop weapons manufacturing and throw his life away down a bottle.

We get a flashback of Tony in the year 1862 with his female companion, picnicking and about to watch a battle, (rich people from the North did this in real life. If you’re interested, read more here!) We don’t get much of his past, but we discover that he is a rifle manufacturer and that he has created something called the ‘Stark Repeating Rifle’, and it seems that he has done so with the hope of encouraging a cease-fire, more than a slaughter.

Well. We don’t always get what we ask for.

Tony vows to actually never touch a weapon ever again, and this personal oath means so much to him that he gets creative at times during 1872 when he’s being chased by baddies:

Witnessing the extreme bloodshed of the Civil War, and feeling responsible for a huge amount of deaths, Tony turns to drinking, (and presumably moves to the west to escape the Pain of his Past, but this is not shown explicitly on panel; I have assumed, though, that Tony’s weapons manufacturing company was in the East, probably Boston or New York, since he comes from family money and because the American West was still “young” at this point in time so it would be unlikely that an established business would be supplying a war from lawless territory with little infrastructure.)

In 616, it’s worth noting that Tony builds the armor to save himself from danger in a war scenario; this is not the case in 1872, things unfold a bit differently. The Civil War certainly sets in motion the chain of events that eventually lead to the creation of Tony’s armor, but he’s not in physical danger or physically traumatized by the war in this verse as he is in other verses, and 616 Tony seems to have a stronger sense of duty than 1872 Tony, but this might be a complication of the depression/apathy related to the alcoholism.

What I mean by this is that both iterations of Tony struggle with alcoholism, but differently. Mainly, while 616 Tony has several alcohol themed arcs, and hits rock bottom with his alcoholism to cope with his trauma, he is sober more than he is drunk in the comics. His drinking almost kills him, and he almost loses everything because of the drink. It’s a source of enormous shame for him.

In fact, during this time in 616, I think Tony at his lowest reminds me a lot of 1872 Tony; 616 Tony is not an apathetic person and he holds himself accountable for an obscene amount of responsibility, but during what is referred to in fandom as The Second Drinking Arc, Tony basically gives up. This is the most “like” 1872 Tony, at least at the start of his arc. Rhodey takes over the mantle of Iron Man, and 616 Tony spirals, not caring whether he lives or dies, not hero-ing certainly.

We see both versions of Tony express similar sentiments, a certain cavalier attitude about their lives (and outright suicidality at other points) with nothing left but the drink.

Iron Man Vol. 1 #182

Compare with:

And you can certainly see a resemblance between this set of panels from IM v.1 #176 and in 1872:

Iron Man Vol. 1 #176 and Marvel 1872 #1

It’s a little different in 1872, where his drinking really is purely a result of his existing despair, and it doesn’t cause enormous problems for him, (minor problems, sure. He spends a lot of time drunkenly singing to Sheriff Rogers, or bothering him from the inside of a jail cell.) But this Tony lives at rock bottom, whereas 616 Tony only stays at rock bottom long enough to get his life back together (as many times as it takes.)

This Tony really doesn’t show any outward shame about his drinking; presumably, the people he knows in Timely have only ever known Tony as a drunk, and none of the people from his old life are here to see him like this. 

This is a Tony who has essentially given up on himself and has moved out West to hide from his shame and his past; this is not a Tony who is scared of letting down his friends by drinking, or scared of shirking his “duty”, because this Tony has moved away from all of his friends and has given himself no duties. He’s a bit more apathetic, but I would argue that this is not because he inherently is a less moral version of Tony, but because in this verse, he was drinking for a very long time and circumstances unfolded differently so it took him a longer time to find that sense of purpose and responsibility (beyond just shutting down manufacturing guns,) which is awakened in him by Steve Rogers. 

616 Tony’s sobriety is a major part of his character, and a conscious choice that he makes, even during some lowest points:

Civil War: The Confession

He takes some amount of pride in his sobriety, and when he does fall off the wagon at times (or magic makes everyone think he did,) it absolutely tears him up because 616 Tony cares very, very much about his sobriety and does not like who he is when he’s drinking. We do not know if 1872 Tony’s father had been a drunk or not, but we know 616 Tony’s father was, and that the drink lead to him treating Tony abusively.

Iron Man Vol. 1 #285 

Avengers Disassembled #1 (This was when ~magic~ made Tony drunk and it wrecked him breaking sobriety without ever having actually drank. Oof.)

616 Tony’s long struggle with alcoholism is a major part of his character and he has had relapses over the years and throughout the reboots, but in general, he does not drink.

1872 Tony starts drinking in 1862 and doesn’t stop until the last pages of the story, so in terms of the cannon we have for him, he is a current drunk, rather than a former drunk. This isn’t to say he doesn’t stop; but since it’s in the last page or so, it sets the reader up to imagine his sober future, rather than exploring his sobriety as 616 does. (Calling all fanfic writers!)

Anyways, both Tony’s are excellent. Both are damaged and traumatized, both are Iron Man in their own ways, both (eventually) find sobriety, both have some cute, quippy dialogue (though 616 Tony tends to be more reserved/polite for sure, in general). 

The last thing I’ll point out, is that both Tonys’ narratives are intertwined with and influenced by their respective Steve Rogers. I’m not saying soulmates but I’m saying soulmates.

Anyways. Sorry this post got super long, and I apologize if any of it is confusing or redundant, I am not functioning at my highest capacity currently. Please read 1872. Let it rock your world. Create & consume the fanworks, I would love to see a boom of 1872 content (more than the fics and art I keep making!) And my ask-box is always open!

#Anonymous #anon #ask #1872 #1872 stony #stevetony #stony #616 stony #616 #han reads comics #my post #idk how to tag this my brain is fried sorry if this post is all over the place #tw suicide mention #suicide mention #tw alcohol #alcohol #tw abuse #abuse #long post #comic panels #han speaks

[nerdferatum]

3 and 19 for the writer asks :)

Thank you!!! 3 goes under the cut because it's a long one.

19. Is there something you always find yourself repeating in your writing? (favourite verb, something you describe ‘too often’, trope you can’t get enough of?)

I forget any possible knowledge of english when I write, so I'm very self-conscious of my grammar and how many times I repeat certain words, but that wouldn't be fun. However... My characters hold hands all the time for emotion emphasis. I know many people who find it silly or childish, but at this point I smile every time I notice I wrote it (and it's also something I do a lot with my friends so).

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway).

This would be a scene set in the future for @themirroredhearts . It isn't a question about being lazy about set up and context, it's just what we in the server call "gem scenes". They are some blurbs of writing that might not have a place in the fanfic because our chapters are long enough, or they wouldn't move the plot along, but they are fun to imagine and write and show a bit more depth for the characters' relartionships. This one in particular is a small gift for @lookingforsomethingcuzimbored and @moderarato for beta reading most of my Pygmalion AU.

It was too soon in the game to say anyone was friends with the other islanders, but it was true that some of them had started to see their reflections in each other.

Zane, Este and Venus knew that being around people all day would be exhausting. They came to the Villa knowing it would be hard to find time to be alone. No one wanted to be there on their own. Sky and Milly had formed what would transform into a friendship no one really expected the first time they met. The gym crew spent the least hot hours of the day working out and those who weren’t into that found other ways to entertain themselves by the pool. The trio of girls, though, had another strategy. By being together close to each other, they showed an illusion of private conversation no one would interrupt.

That afternoon, hiding from the sun in the living room, Este was painting some stars on Zane’s hands with a marker while Venus tried to keep her hair under control. She groaned when another strand of hair escaped the buns on the nape of her head.

“There are so many clips you can put on your head you know,” said Zane, who was looking at her amused by her struggle.

“The pool is destroying my hair and it’s even harder to keep it out of my face,” Venus sighed. She lowered her hands just as a long curl slipped out of the hair tie behind her ear.

“You should just cut it. Problem solved,” deadpanned Este, while taking a look at the finished piece on Zane’s left hand.

“I would look like a mushroom,” laughed Venus cheerfully.

“You would be a cute mushroom, though,” someone said behind them, making them jump.

Bobby was leaning against the wall, observing them with a grin.

“How long have you been there, creep?” joked Este before throwing him a pillow, which hit him on his chest without him trying to avoid it.

“A while. You all seemed too distracted to notice.” He walked up to Zane and lowered his head to inspect the drawings closely.

“You know, when we are here it is because we want silence,” commented Este.

“That’s a very rude way to tell me to go.”

The three girls shared an amused glance before Venus spoke:

“We were hoping for some girl time,” she smiled at him.

“That’s equally rude, but I’ll allow it because it doesn’t sound like it when you say it.”

“That’s favoritism. It isn’t a good look either,” added Zane in a low voice.

“Zane! We are friends! Don’t betray me like this!” Bobby exclaimed, straightening his back and stumbling back.

“What are we, then? The milkman?” Este asked. She was having a hard time trying to not laugh at Bobby’s ridiculous expression.

“Venus does sleep in my bed…”

“Ew! Gross!” Este took the pillow from the floor and hit him with it again, no real effort behind the gesture. Venus was giggling at the scene.

“What do you want, Bobby?”

“Only the treasure of your company, lass,” he answered to her partner without missing a beat. He threw himself onto the seat next to Venus. “And also, I’m extremely bored. Do you know how many times the gym crew argue about cardio benefits?”

“No. Because we are usually at a sensible distance,” said Zane. She had her hands spread out in front of her, worrying about moving and ruining the ink.

“It’s like a silent movie. We enjoy the scene, we don’t need to hear it,” stated Venus.

“That’s not how that- Nevermind,” Bobby interrupted himself when he noticed Venus’ teasing smile.

“I’m sorry, we can’t provide entertainment for you. I’m done with the temporary tattoos.”

“Then let me make you an offer, my dear Este.” The girl scrunched her nose mockingly at the nickname. “What if… I was the entertainment. Please, keep your clown jokes to yourselves.”

The group let out a collective “oh” in disappointment.

“Do you have something ready for us?” Curiosity took the best of Zane.

“I’m always ready to impress. Now, please, sit together. Yes, Zans, if you don’t mind taking a seat with your friends there…”

He guided the girl with his hands on her shoulders to sit between the other two and took his place in front of them.

“Now, I have revealed my magic powers before, so let me use them for good… To keep the best people here happy.” He stopped for a second and grimaced at his own words. “Maybe don’t tell anyone I said that, but anyway…”

Bobby approached Venus and inspected the hair clips which had survived her attempt at styling her hair. He took a shiny golden bobby pin and inspected it closer.

“Yes, this will do.”

“Please, be careful,” begged Venus, “I only have two of those.”

“I’m a great magician, it’s safe with me.” He stretched his arms and spinned slowly. “As you can see, I wear nothing where I can hide it.”

Surely, he was only wearing his purple swimming trunks.

“Say goodbye to that pin, Venus,” mumbled Este and Bobby shushed her. He was holding the accessory in front of his face.

“I need to focus so it doesn’t get lost in its travels. Because… You know… Anything can happen when magic is involved!”

He moved his hands elegantly, although too fast for them to follow. He showed them his empty hands with a loud “ta dah!” Venus and Zane gasped appropriately for the moment; meanwhile, Este raised an eyebrow. Bobby was too easy to tease.

“Well, it’s clearly-”

“Silence! We have to make sure it gets to its destination safely,” he declared in a solemn tone no one could disagree with, “Please, can the only person I can trust look into her pockets?”

Both Este and Venus turned their heads promptly to look at Zane, who seemed surprised to be the center of attention.

“Oh, come on… Can at least you two pretend…”

But Zane was eagerly going through her pockets, stopping on her shirt’s one. Her eyes widened while looking at Bobby. She took a shiny golden bobby pin out and showed it to her audience. Bobby punched the air in triumph.

“I’m so great. That will shut you up, non-believer.”

Este opened her mouth to debate him, but hesitated and leaned back on her seat.

“You obviously got yourself a catch, V,” she said, in the most sincere tone she could muster, which wasn't saying much.

#sara writes #answered #oc: venus #oc: este #oc: zane

[nct-oli]

I also miss atots! I wanna read your ramblings so may I ask what are some of your head canon for phutian whether it’s during the series or post-series.

HI!! You’re so sweet. I am so sorry that I haven’t responded to this sooner! Life got really hectic, and it honestly kind of stole my creativity, to the point where I read this back when you sent it, but I could not think of a single headcanon at all.

But I’m here and I’m going to finally talk about some because I rewatched ATOTS with a friend and it sparked some headcanons in the process!!

1) This is probably my biggest headcanon. Phupha and Tian wrote emails to each other during their two years apart. I’ve seen some people say letters, and of course letters are super cute and classically romantic. Plus they are fitting given that’s how Tian was communicating with Phupha when he returned to Bangkok. But the reasons I like emails for them are:

Getting letters domestically to a rural village is one thing, but getting them internationally without some of them getting lost feels a bit less likely. And I think Tian and Phupha would know that. So emails are a more consistent and reliable form of communication.

Obviously Phupha can’t access the internet from the village, but you know who does have internet? Dr. Nam. I very much love the idea of Phupha strolling into the clinic every so often trying to be all cool and not at all giddy to check for a new email from Tian, and Dr. Nam never, ever letting him use the computer without a lot of proud best friend teasing. Remember when Phupha went to Dr. Nam to ask what a scar on the chest would mean? Yes, just like that, except regularly. (And when Phupha doesn’t go to Dr. Nam’s clinic, he could go to town to check his email too.)

This part doesn’t really fit the canon storyline at all given Phupha was still gazing at the only photo he had taken of Tian two whole years after taking it and also Phupha never told the children where Tian was. BUT think of the photos they could send each other. Tian sending photos of himself in various places in the US, his hand with Phupha’s ring always visible so Phupha can be there with him for every adventure. Phupha sending photos of the kids as they grow, the tea sachet business (or whatever the villagers end up doing with Mr. Sakda gone), the very rare selfie by a rather self-conscious chief... sending physical letters limits the number of printed photos they could send each other. Plus printing photos may be a bit easier for Tian, given he can just print them at a nearby Walgreens or something, or even have them ordered online. But that would be tougher for Phupha, needing to leave the village and find somewhere. So emailing photos back and forth would be easier.

Imagine Tian printing every email sent back and forth and collecting them. Imagine him in the library with the biggest smile on his face, printing out emails to and from his mountain boyfriend back in Thailand and his university friends watching him with the most confused but intrigued eyes. I love it. I love that idea.

I remember there being discussion post-finale about whether Tian and Phupha communicated in that time at all. The discussion revolves especially around how at ease they seemed in their Pha Pun Dao cliff reunion and they didn’t quite act as though they had been fully apart for two whole years. And I fullheartedly believe they had contact, even if very infrequent. I think they found a way. And while I do think letters are incredibly romantic and fitting, I just have this fondness to emails. Maybe it’s a result of watching We Best Love recently. I’m not sure.

2) Tian chose to go to the US ultimately on his own. Now, we all know his mother is the one who picked the university for him and “sent him away.” But I do like the idea that, after coming to terms with the fact that maybe running away to Pha Pun Dao immediately wasn’t the best plan, especially if Phupha wanted to forget him, he grew to like the idea of going abroad. It would be his chance to have probably as much freedom as he could get. He wanted to go to the US before he died (episode 3 conversation with Tul). He could take time to himself, without the influence of anyone else, and figure out just what he wanted for his life. And when Phupha showed up at the airport and they got their true feelings out in the open, Tian didn’t feel like his family was pushing him away from the man he loved and the life he wanted; he felt that he had agency in choosing the US and asking Phupha to wait for him, to give him the chance to figure out this new chapter first. I find comfort believing Tian didn’t board that plane feeling resentful but instead feeling hopeful. And when he returned, he wasn’t filled with regrets. He was filled with excitement that he was returning home to Pha Pun Dao and Phupha right on time. (Plus Phupha had more confidence when Tian returned to him that he truly wanted to be there in the village with him, because despite literally traveling the world and seeing so many options available to him for places to build his future, Tian still chose Pha Pun Dao.)

3) The teacher’s house remains Tian’s home too. Hear me out: I don’t mean full time. I’m obviously a massive softie for domestic PhuTian, so I want him to still stay with Phupha. And Phupha probably can’t leave the base permanently, as he’s the chief and needs to be there regularly for his rangers, so the two of them can’t move into the teacher’s house fully either. But Phupha’s room is quite small. I love the idea that Tian still escapes sometimes out to the teacher’s house where it’s quiet and he can still have his own space. A space to lesson plan, to take the students when they need a new environment, to feel connected to his three original months in the village when he fell in love with the people and his person (Phupha). That house was his home, and while Phupha’s place is now also his home, I like the idea that Tian still keeps that house for himself too. At least so long as it isn’t needed by anyone else. (Also, if Phupha and Tian need space, well, there’s no Yod out there to start knocking.)

4) This semi-connects to the last one. When Tian and Phupha finally get married, they have a ceremony in the village and Tian convinces Tul to stay a night in Pha Pun Dao. His parents come to the wedding too, but they stay in a hotel in the city, where Tul stays some nights except for the night Tian gets him to stay with him. Tian and Tul stay in the teacher’s house, and Tian tells him all about his many nights sleeping there. Tul is, well, not convinced of its appeal at first, but watching Tian share his stories with the brightest smile, he decides he can warm up to it a little bit. And after seeing Tian with Phupha, with the kids, and with the rest of the village, and finally understanding how perfectly Tian fits in Pha Pun Dao, it starts to make sense to him why some of the luxuries don’t matter to Tian anymore... will Tul himself ever move to a rural village like that? Absolutely not. He’s not convinced that much. But the joy that village life brings his best friend and the glow he exhibits is enough to leave Tul content for one night on a hard mattress inside a mosquito net in the middle of seemingly nowhere. (No but really, imagine the chaos of Tul trying to live in Pha Pun Dao for a night. I want to watch that so much.)

5) Okay, I hope the couple that got married have a child and that child goes to school under Tian’s teaching. Or someone else in the village has a child. Imagine Tian getting a new student and having to navigate a classroom with early teenagers and a tiny kid. (Headcanon within a headcanon: Tian did a LOT of research during his two years abroad specifically on multi-aged classrooms because he knew he wanted to return to Pha Pun Dao one day and would need the skills.)

6) Longtae and Tian most definitely go on that trip across the border that Longtae wanted (just a couple years late). And they have the best time. Longtae tells Tian about any new stories from university. Tian shares stories about his students and tries not to talk about Phupha too much but occasionally can’t help it, to which Longtae smiles brightly like the cute bestie he is. And the two of them get the CUTEST photos that Longtae prints for Tian immediately when he gets back to the city.

All of these headcanons are for those two years away or after he returns. I’m trying to think of some headcanons for the show prior to ep 10 part 4/4...

6) OH this doesn’t necessarily have to be before ep 10 part 4/4 in the timeline, but Phupha and the rangers apologize to Tian and the villagers for not telling them about Torfun’s death sooner and that burden being left for Tian to carry instead. I just want that settled.

7) HERE’S ONE FOR WITHIN THE SERIES TIMELINE. At the wedding in episode 4, Phupha didn’t deny it when Dr. Nam called Tian Phupha’s guy. So yes, of course Dr. Nam started calling Tian that all of the time, to which Phupha did eventually argue against but he secretly liked hearing it. His guy.

8) I’m back to going outside of the timeline again... all of my headcanons are for after the series it seems. Oops. But Tian most definitely brought the kite to Pha Pun Dao with him, and it hangs very proudly on the wall in their room. Tian tells Phupha about how he had it flying back at his family house in Bangkok, how seeing it blow in the wind brought him comfort when he felt homesick for the village and for Phupha. That knowledge had Phupha smiling for the rest of the week.

I’m running out of ideas. I kind of wanted to hit ten, but I just don’t have ten headcanons off the top of my head. BUT if I think of anymore, I’m sure I’ll post about them somewhere. Maybe I’ll even write a ficlet about some of these... I used to write those here and there, way back when... we’ll see.

Thank you again for your message, anon! You are a wonderful human. I’m sorry for taking so long to respond, but I didn’t forget about your message or ignore it. I just couldn’t get my brain to give me anything to respond with! I hope my rambling was sufficient for you. <3

(Also man, I miss writing about ATOTS so ridiculously much. This felt so familiar and also kind of sad. Phupha, Tian, villagers... come back to us. I miss you.)

#phutian #phupha x tian #a tale of thousand stars #atots #1000 stars #anon #I miss ATOTS so much every day #I just rewatch episodes and EarthMix interviews trying to pretend the show didn’t actually end

[wrenhyperfixates]

Full Disclosure

Pairing: Loki x reader Summary: Thor has always been supportive of his brother’s love life, but Loki won’t tell him that he’s dating you. When Thor won’t stop setting him up on dates, Loki has to move past his fears and confess. Warnings: just a fluff-bomb A/N: Thank you for requesting, my lovely nonny! This is longer than a typical imagine might be because I had so much fun with it (in fact it’s really more of a oneshot, oops). If you wanted something a little shorter, I already had a similar incorrect quote in my drafts that I’ll be posting for you later in the week :)

Disclaimer: Gif not mine 

Sometimes it was hard to have a brother so dense. There were plenty of times during their youth when Loki would try to discuss lessons or ladies with Thor, but never seemed to make any sort of breakthrough. It was only when Loki started dating you that he was glad for it, as it made hiding the blooming relationship much easier. That is, until Thor kept trying to set him up on dates.

“I believe I might shove my brother off a cliff, darling,” Loki whined one afternoon, dramatically flopping on your bed.

“Aww. What did he do now?” you inquired after giving him a small peck on the lips.

“He arranged another date for me, and I was left with the arduous task of cancelling. It is a wonder how he has not noticed how absolutely smitten I am with you, my love.”

He nuzzled into your neck as you cuddled him, breathing in your comforting scent. You bent your head down to place a kiss on the adorable little crinkle between his brows. He relaxed a bit, but you could tell he was still stressed.

“Well, we could always tell him about us,” you suggested as Loki’s frown reappeared. “I mean, almost everyone else on the team figured it out. So I don’t really see why we shouldn’t tell Thor.”

Loki pondered this for a moment. True, the other Avengers were aware of your relationship, save for Steve and Bucky, who were too oblivious to even realize their own feelings for each other. Still, it was different with Thor, his brother, his only family left. He knew how fond of you Thor was, but if he were to oppose to the two of you dating, he had no idea what he’d do.

“My brother can be overbearing. I am not certain that telling him is the best option at present.”

“Ok. If you’re sure that’s all, then we’ll wait.”

He whispered a thank you into your hair as you shifted positions so that now he was spooning you. The whole reason you’d decided to keep the fact you were dating a secret in the first place was to be able to enjoy quiet moments like this. Loki has been worried that his teammates would disapprove and try to split you up. Surprisingly, they were supportive, even if they did engage in some subtle teasing. Though, their knowledge of your relationship made what happened at dinner the next night all the more embarrassing.

You and Loki kept secretly holding hands under the table, earning you some smirks from your teammates who happened to notice. Feeling self-conscious, you broke apart but left your legs touching ever so slightly, just enough to feel the warmth radiating off each other. You must have laughed a little too loudly at something Loki said because, suddenly, Thor got what he thought to be a novel idea.

“You know,” he said, pointing at you and Loki, “I believe you two would make a really cute couple.” As if that weren’t bad enough, he continued in a stage whisper, “You should really ask them out, Loki.”

The God of Mischief turned bright red as you started fidgeting in your seat. Everyone else made eye contact with each other before giving in to a bout of laughter. Thor demanded to know what was so funny, but no one could get any words out. When Tony laughed so hard he fell out of his seat, Loki decided that he’d had enough.

“Brother,” he shouted over the din. “I-well, we have something to tell you.”

“What is it?” he shouted back, still not catching on.

“Maybe we should do this somewhere quieter,” you suggested after a small sigh.

The three of you made your way out of the noisy dining room, and Loki started wringing his hands as both his lover and brother looked at him expectantly. This was his moment to finally get the truth out there. Unfortunately, his hands seemed to have a mind of their own and lashed out with a dagger, striking Thor.

“Surprise attack!”

“Loki!” you bellowed, upset with your boyfriend.

“Do not worry, my friend. This is a normal occurrence,” Thor assured you as Loki grabbed your hand and whisked you away.

Once behind closed doors, you fixed him with a withering glare. He knew that he was being ridiculous, especially now that Thor has shown he would be fine with you two dating. But Loki realized something else was stopping from sharing his joy with his brother. If he told Thor, it would be like bridging his old life and his new one. Granted, you already knew of his past misdeeds, but what if there was something else he hasn’t told you? Something long forgotten in his memory that Thor lets slip? In the end, his reluctance all boiled down to a fear of losing you.

“I know, I know. That was not the best route to choose. I just didn’t think it was the right time to say anything,” he lied.

“Why can’t you just be honest with me, Loki?” you pleaded as tears formed in your eyes. “It’s obvious that you’re embarrassed of me or something. The least you could do is tell the truth about it.”

“Oh, my darling,” he cooed, wiping a plump drop that had fallen and made a glistening track halfway down your cheek. “Please understand that my inability to tell my brother of us has nothing to do with you. You are the most wonderful thing to ever happen to me.”

“Then what is it?”

“I fear that you may come to resent me if you hear any more of my past.”

“Loki,” you said, voice heavy with emotion. “Look at me. I know that you’ve done some... questionable things before. But I know you now, and that’s what I care about. We’ve all done things we’re not proud of, but you work harder than anyone I know to make up for it. It’s one of the many reasons that I love you.”

He looked at you with eyes full of gratitude before hugging you close. “I love you too, dearest. Never doubt that.”

The air relaxed around Loki and his beloved as a quiet contemplation settled in. He slowly rocked the two of you back and forth, trying to plan his next move. If there was one thing he didn’t like, it was not knowing what to do next. But he was sure that, with you beside him, he could figure it out.

“Ok,” you said after sucking in a long breath. “We’ll wait then. As long as you need.”

“No,” Loki interjected, coming to a conclusion as you spoke. “I want to tell him now. Well, maybe not right at this moment. But tomorrow for certain.”

After checking that he was sure of this decision, you agreed to have lunch with Thor where you would tell him the news. Loki’s nerves were at an all-time high by noon the next day. He helped you set the table to try to calm them, but nothing seemed to cull his worries.  You came up behind him and wrapped your arms around his waist, pressing kisses to the tense spots between his shoulder blades.

“Hey, it’s going to be alright. I promise,” you reassured him, hoping to relieve some of the pressure he was feeling.

He relaxed in your embrace for a second before you broke away upon hearing Thor’s heavy footsteps approaching. Loki tweaked the utensils once more, and you pressed a quick kiss to his knuckles in a final act of comfort. It also helped some that Thor seemed to be in an even more jovial mood than usual. Which, of course, was saying something as the god was relentlessly optimistic.

Sitting down, he greeted you both by name and told you everything smelled delicious. The God of Thunder bit his lip to hold back a smile, but you and Loki could see it tugging its way onto his face. The two of you shared a look, attempting to figure out what exactly was the cause of such joy for the older Odinson boy.

“Um, Thor?” you said. “Is there something you wanted to share with us?”

“No. Is there something you want to share with me?”

Another look passed between you and Loki. Suddenly, Loki realized that his brother must know the news you were about to share. It figures that after all this time, he worked it out moments before he was about to come clean.

“You have figured it out,” Loki sighed, “haven’t you?”

Thor nodded eagerly and came around the table to hug his brother and friend, overjoyed that they were dating. He loosened his grip around you upon hearing your gasping voice telling him he was hugging too tight, a terrible habit of his.

“But when did you figure it out?” you questioned, puzzling over the timeline of events.

“I have known for months, of course.” He tried to stick to this story, but the skeptical looks from both you and his brother made him abandon his position. “I saw you two being all cuddly just before I came in,” he conceded with slumped shoulders.

All three of you began to laugh, and Loki was surprised by how relieved he felt at not having to actually confess. The rest of the lunch went swimmingly, and the God of Mischief relaxed further, happy to have both his brother and beloved in such high spirits. Unfortunately, his own sunk when Thor offered to tell a story about him. It seemed like his worst fears were about to come true.

“One time when we were children,” Thor began with a wistful look in his eye, “Loki tried to use some of his magic and accidentally turned himself into a cat. He came to my room and pestered me until I brought him to mother. Remember that, brother?”

“Indeed, I do,” Loki said with a nostalgic laugh, feeling relieved that was all Thor shared. “It was one of the first spells I ever tried. I am afraid that I sorely botched it. I was coughing hair balls for weeks.”

“So that’s why you won’t let me get a kitten!” you added with a laugh of your own.

The brothers went back and forth telling embarrassing stories about the other. You refused to share any of your awkward childhood moments, and your companions vowed to get some out of you one day. All in all, Loki had a great time. He squeezed your hand in thanks under the table. With shining eyes he observed you and Thor laughing. He realized that, for the first time in his life, he had nothing to worry about. After all, he’d been wrong when he’d thought Thor was the only family he had left. Now you were his family, too. And nothing could possibly take away you or the love you shared.

#loki x reader #loki x y/n #loki x you #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #loki friggason #loki fluff #fluff #mcu loki #marvel reader insert #marvel #marvel fanfiction #reader insert #loki fanfic #mcu reader insert #mcu fanfiction #thor odinson #the avengers #request #anon request #thanks for requesting! #established relationship #gender neutral reader #loki pov