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#do you remember in season 1 when you planned to burn peter alive?
collectate · 3 years
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scott mccall, imposing a strict unattainable set of morals upon other people yet a-fucking-gain
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themightyaliendwarf · 3 years
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TPN s02e08
Maaan, what an rollercoaster! We literally go from amazing to fine to incredible. Which kinda makes me angry because this is how this season SHOULD look like. Okay, fine, let’s skip Goldy Pond, but let’s make it equally amazing as this. Just in an anime original way. And this episode proves they COULD do it. It’s a pity that it took them over a half of the season to reach this point. But let’s start from the beginning.
1. So, Peter Ratri is voiced by Yoshimasa Hosoya. I was joking with my friend that it might be the reason why the quality of the animation isn’t always the best - because he took a half of the budget. Anyway, I think he is doing a good job with voicing this character right now, but I will wait with the final judgement for the Peter’s meltdown scene. 
2. Just a fun fact I read in the manga: apparently when Isabella tells Norman that he is going to a new home, Shirai used the kanji that can also mean ‘cage’. 
3. Another thing I loved: they showed how Norman found about Vincent. It’s shown in the extra pages for one of the volumes (I don’t remember in which one right now).
4. Again, I like that the first 7-8 minutes were fully focused on Lambda. I think that this is something that anime-only people really needed (without the context, it’s difficult understand how MUCH those guys hate the demons and why). And for manga readers it was cool to see it in colour. But on the other hand, I’m kinda disappointed that they just showed us the images of the experiments. I think adding movement and sound would make those scenes absolutely terrifying. But hey, at least they showed it!
5. So, we found out a little bit about the escape, buuuut it was nearly as much as I was hoping for. Based on the panels in the manga, we could have already guessed that they used some kind of explosives. I guess we still need to wait for another special chapter/light novel.
6. Annnd after the amazing lambda part we jump to the search... Now, do you know why this whole thing was more engaging in the manga?
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Because we got her. I don’t think it will be controversial if I say that the search for Mujika was really boring. Just a bunch of pictures and building up suspense by showing us that CGI demon. Speaking of that demon!
7. You know what pains a lot in this episode? SO MANY reused animations. I mean, the test solving animation, the demon, the chase, later the demons degenerating and demons eating other demons... look, I know they want to save money, but there are some limits!
8. Apparently Ray, a guy who has been living in the wilderness for months, needs a watch to tell that sun is setting. Just a minor nitpick that I had to point out. 
9. Okay, I think we can official crown Norman as our new edge lord. I mean that monologue on the top of the rock... I know that words are from the manga, but when it’s shown like that, it looks more silly than serious. Also, the quote ‘I will gladly become a God or a devil’, doesn’t make THAT much sense here, because we didn’t get this scene:
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To me it felt like unnecessary fan service towards manga readers, but I’m happy for you if you liked this scene. Norman is allowed to become our tiny edge lord.
10. You know what made me angry? Don and Ray shooting the demon, but Emma and Gilda not. Yes, Emma does it a second later, but it became a trend to give her badass scenes to boys. The next scene, however, made me furious.
11. Ray shoots the demon and then he and Emma share a sigh of relief. But then it turns out that the wild demon is still alive and it’s going to eat Emma. Wait a minute... I have seen it somewhere... OH, RIGHT!
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Of course, there are situations where Emma is the one who is being saved. The problem is that in the anime she is always being saved by someone - never the other way around. I’m happy that Ray is given stuff to do, but why is it that he is given Emma’s stuff. Come on!
12. Also, how did they know that it was Norman who caused the explosion? How far did they actually went? Are you going to tell me that they were in practically the same location for months and nobody found them? Again, those are nitpicks, but they bother me a lot!
13. Also, apparently the drug is now spread through the air, and Norman’s whole gang is made out of edge lords who need to stand dramatically on the chimneys. I can imagine that during planning they had a conversation similar to: - Boss, do you know what ever genocide needs? - What? - Dramatic JoJo posing over the burning villages.  - Good, good... write that down!
14. Okay, enough ranting, let’s move to the incredible stuff. First of all, the music in those last scenes really reminded me of the Witcher Soundtrack and I LOVE the Witcher soundtrack. So epic! 
15. I actually stopped taking notes at this point, because I was so immersed in everything that was happening on the screen. The music, the tone, the colours, the expressions - THIS! This is what this anime should be from the very beginning. Making us care about the demons, and showing that they are also the victims of this system. The actual dread and thriller, the moral issues, engaging plot lines.
16. The scene with the old demon and Norman? Good anime original content? How is it possible? When the old demon asks Norman whether he is a human and he doesn’t answer - because at this point he himself isn’t sure. Yes, give me more of that!
17. Norman being terrified after seeing blood on his hands? That’s a good change from the manga Norman, because it makes narrative sense. Really, CloverWorks, how can you make such an amazing scene after those 6 mediocre and one good episode? 
Anyway, it’s difficult for me to add anything right now because I don’t feel like I have enough words to describe how much I loved that last scene. Does it mean I have forgiven this season its previous sins? No, but I’m a happier person right now, and I’m REALLY looking forward into the next episode. 
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the-cookie-of-doom · 3 years
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📖 alternate dimensions/time travel for Steter (me trying to narrow it down, did it work?)
alternate dimensions/time travel for Steter (me trying to narrow it down, did it work?)
NOW we're cookin! (Pasted it bc as soon as I opened the answer window, your ask disappeared. Might be because of the heading font?)
I've got exactly 1 AU that fits this desc: Survivor's Guilt. (Technically 2, but the second is more of a reincarnation type story)
This story has presented an interesting problem for me, because it's technically Pitch (Peter/Mitch), except Mitch is still Stiles; just Stiles from the future. Obviously he can't tell anyone he's from the future, so he falls back on an old nickname that predates Stiles; this one drawn from his actual name. His parents usually shortened Mieczyslaw to Mitch.
So: Stiles for younger self, and Mitch for future self, but they're both the same person.
The future... does not go well for the pack. They all get killed off one by one, until Stiles is the last one standing 10 years in the future. After he buries the last one, he can't take it anymore. He's the human, he never thought he would be the last one to survive. it's not fair. So he performs some forbidden magic to tear a rift in reality and travel back to the beginning, before it all started. Unfortunately it's not an exact science, so he ends up part way through season 1, once things have already kicked off. And his younger self is damn stubborn; he has to change his plans from staying away from the supernatural at all, to keeping himself and his friends alive.
I'm going to put the rest under a cut and just copy what I have from my notes, because it's much more organized!
Stiles is determined though. Mitch gets there shortly after Scott has been bitten, and the wolf is out of the bag, and Stiles is so fiercely loyal that he won't abandon his best friend. Mitch wants to grab him and shake some sense into him, but he's a stubborn asshole and that won't work. He tries to intervene in other ways when it becomes clear that Stiles will not be put off this course, tries to keep him far away from Derek. And hindsight is 20/20, he's able to prevent a lot of things. But a lot of things still work themselves out anyway, interdimensional lynchpins that will always happen. The Hales will always die, Scott will always get bitten, Stiles will always foolishly fall in love. And Mitch hates it, having to watch Stiles make all these same mistakes over again, because he's already lived them. He's seen the consequences play out, felt the pain of everyone he loves dying horribly, leaving him the only survivor because surviving is what he does, like a fucking cockroach.
The best he can do is try to teach him everything he knows, all the knowledge he's had to pay for with pain and blood, in hopes that it will prepare him for what's coming. And along the way, something starts to unfold between him and Peter and that is just... so complicated. Mitch doesn't want to deal with that, he knows he shouldn't get involved, he's fucked up enough with everything he's doing here, falling in love with Peter is the last thing he should be doing. 10 years ago, when he was still Stiles, bright-eyed and not destroyed by the world, the kid he sees running with wolves like it's no big thing, Mitch wouldn't have even considered it. He remembers how much he hated Peter, always suspicious, watching with a careful eye. It's a distant memory, like the ghost of once-familiar perfume. More fresh is the memory of his grief, when Peter picked the wrong moment to start being altruistic, and got himself killed for it.
But he's not sixteen anymore. He's not the same optimistic kid mooning over Derek's bad boy with a heart of gold schtick, thinking he can fix him and heal the damage done by Kate (and god help him but he did, somehow). He's older and jaded and bitter, and Peter is everything ne needs and doesn't want but does, desperately. Peter, so damaged that being with him is like looking in a mirror, because Mitch has lost everything too, can sympathize with Peter now in a way he never could before. Peter would do anything to get his revenge, and Mitch would risk everything, break every sacred rule of magic, to save the ones he loves.
Peter gravitates to Mitch, drawn to his pain like a moth to flame. There's something so familiar about him, but Mitch keeps everything hidden, doesn't let any of them get close, and Peter has always loved a challenge. A good mystery is just what he needs to focus on, to temper his more murderous impulses. Now that he's older, Mitch is less Stranger Danger and more reluctantly attracted, and it's so easy to let Peter in. To not be alone anymore, after so long. Of course Peter puts it together. He doesn't say anything at first, but he watches, sees the way Mitch and Stiles interact with the world, the way they mirror each other. Mitch isn't nearly so spastic, doesn't talk as much. he's not an anxiety-ridden teen anymore, he's a broken confident adult. But they have some mannerisms that are impossible to mistake, and Peter wonders how no one has put it together yet. Then he remembers that these are stupid puppies; Scott can't be bothered with anything that isn't up Allison's skirt, Boyd and Erica only have eyes for each other, Stiles is too busy not listening to Mitch to hear the way their verbal tics are exactly the same, and Mitch does his best to avoid Derek, the only other one who may notice. It hurts Mitch to be around him, because somewhere, that bright-eyed kid that's dead and buried still loves him, and the pain of losing him will always be an open wound. Scott thought it hurt to break up with Allison, but he doesn't know true loss. But he will. They all will in the end.
Mitch and Chris get on well of course. Chris is the one that trained him into the killer he is now, almost like a second father to him. Aside from Peter, Mitch spends time with Chris, warns him about the dangers Gerard represents, especially towards Allison. Chris isn't one to blindly trust, but he does investigate into the situation when dear old daddy comes kicking around.
And when Mitch sees his dad the first time... It's some innocuous meeting, maybe they're in a bar. They strike up a conversation, John offers to buy a round, and it takes everything in him to maintain his composure when all he wants to do is collapse into John's arms and cry, because the only thing worse than losing Derek was losing his dad, holding him in his arms as he bled out, hearing his breath stop, seeing the light leave his eyes. The nightmares of that night still haunt him.
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Mitch is gonna feel so conflicted about his attraction to Peter, especially at first. Bc part of him still remembers what it was like to love Derek but there is no way he's touching that with a 10 foot pole even if he's not the same kid that was in love with him, and maybe he wonders if he's just trading in for another Hale? that wouldn't be fair to anyone.
And like that is the least of his concerns, who knows what's going to happen if he starts something with Peter now. But he's been so lonely, starved for touch and affection. And Peter knows, he more than understands. He spent 6 years in a coma, longing for the same thing. He wants to give that to Mitch now, to both of them, if Mitch will just let him
it's a clusterfuck trying to deal with it, and Mitch is trying to fix things, but he doesn't know how. he's not omniscient. All he knows is that something went wrong, Y caused Z but he had no idea about X. He only knows the things he was directly involved in, and there are layers of schemes, unseen factors that will be uncovered this time around as fate continues to set itself straight even as Mitch keeps messing with the timeline
eventually Mitch has to admit that he wants what Peter is offering, desperately. He's not as cold as he pretends to be, and it's stupid to keep denying them both. He's already breaking every cosmic rule by coming back here to change things, and the universe keeps laughing in his face. So he may as well go all in here.
and maybe, briefly, Peter wonders if Mitch still loves Derek. But he doesn't; Stiles died along with the rest of his pack, leaving Mitch in his wake. Everything Stiles was is gone in him not everything, he's still fiercely loyal, hopeful beneath his jaded pessimism, enough to challenge the universe itself like Icarus on his waxen wings nothing left but the memories.
Mitch is reliving his own mistakes getting involved with Peter, just like Stiles is with Derek, and god knows what the consequences will be this time. But they can't be worse than any he's already suffered, the total destruction and devastation of everything he held dear, leaving him a burnt out shell of a man. Peter can empathize. Can't take his pain, but can maybe help to dull it, help shoulder the burden of it, show Mitch that he doesn't have to be alone anymore
And I think I know how stiles figures out Mitch is him: something happens. One day Mitch and Peter are just doing something, it’s a pretty normal day. But then something seemingly innocuous happens and Mitch has a moment of oh shit realization and he just takes off running because Stiles is in danger
Because you know, he doesn’t know the exact dates that things happened, especially in the beginning. It was so long ago. But something will happen, some small thing burned into his memory, and he’ll remember. And he doesn’t get there in time of course, the damage has been done. Leaving stiles with a wound to perfectly match a scar Mitch has from the same incident.
Mitch does manage to avert enough to change the future. But that means he doesn’t become who he is. If the pack doesn’t die, Mitch never comes to be, he never has to come back in time to change things, never falls in love with Peter. So he ceases to exist. But even though he fades away, the memories of him don’t.
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"We did it," Mitch gasps suddenly, eyes wide like he can't believe it. Something in him shifted, something intrinsic. Like a damn had broken and all of his suffering was washed away by the cool waters of relief and happiness, the kind he hasn't felt in years. Not since before he lost everything. "Peter!" And Peter is watching him with pure, unadulterated excitement, because they've averted the catastrophe that would have befallen the pack without Mitch's intervention.
And then Mitch starts to fade.
Peter is grabbing for him, but his hands pass right through like Mitch is just a ghost, and then there's less than that. His very molecules are ceasing to exist. He doesn't exist anymore, Mitch realizes. "I'm sorry," he tries to say, a second too late.
Peter is left standing there staring at nothing. An empty space. There aren't even any ashes to prove that Mitch had ever been there, vanishing between one heartbeat and the next.
Peter doesn't realize what's happened at first. Doesn't want to, his fast mind lagging behind. "No," he whispers. Everyone is staring at him. Stiles is looking on with mounting horror, Derek mirroring him. It's the Sheriff who catches him when he collapsed, arms strong around him. "No, no!" It's all Peter can say. This can't have happened, it's all a mistake. Mitch will come back to him, he has to. It can't end this way.
Distantly, Peter knows he's crying. John is too, Peter can smell his tears. Of course he is, he just watched his son fade out of existence. Of course, he still has Stiles, still gets to watch him grow. Peter has no one. Derek comes to him, followed by Stiles. He's crying too, on the ground with him. Derek has a hand on his shoulder. Melissa is covering her mouth with her hands, eyes glistening. Even Argent's stony mask has broken as Peter falls apart in front of them.
Peter throws his head back and roars, so loud it shakes the trees around them. The earth quakes, the preserve trembles in fear. But the world keeps turning, the universe continues on, ambivalent. What is one human life in the grand scheme of things?
Everything, he is everything.
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jaimehwatson · 3 years
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I made another Snowpiercer playlist!
After posting my Wilford/Audrey playlist a while ago, I added some songs that didn’t quite make the cut to a different playlist, intending to put together another similar one. But rather than focusing on just one ship this time, I also ended up getting really interested in theorizing about what Wilford’s relationship with Melanie might have been like before the Freeze, and exploring the idea that maybe there was something going on there and some kind of love triangle with Audrey.
So here’s my new playlist, full of absolute jams that could apply to any combination of relationships involving Wilford, Audrey, and Melanie, and/or just general Snowpiercer vibes! Read on for more detail about the songs I selected, and as before, content warning for references to canon abuse & self-harm/suicide.
1. “The Tradition” by Halsey
Oh, the loneliеst girl in town Was bought for plenty a price Well, they dress her up in golden crowns His smile hides a lie
She smiles back, but it's a fact That her fear will eat her alive Well, she got the life that she wanted But now all she does is cry
Thanks @onetrainsnowpiercer​ for getting me into this excellent album! I thought it would be fitting to kick off the playlist with one that could suit the earlier days of Wilford’s relationship with Audrey, like my previous playlist was more focused on.
2. “cardigan” by Taylor Swift
'Cause I knew you Steppin' on the last train Marked me like a bloodstain, I
I knew you Tried to change the ending Peter losing Wendy, I
I knew you Leavin' like a father Running like water, I And when you are young, they assume you know nothing
Did you think I would make a Snowpiercer playlist without Taylor Swift on it? Not a chance. I picture this one being more from Melanie’s perspective, reflecting on possibly having had some kind of ill-fated romance with Wilford when she was young and naive.
3. “No Children” by The Mountain Goats
I hope I cut myself shaving tomorrow I hope it bleeds all day long Our friends say it's darkest before the sun rises We're pretty sure they're all wrong
I hope it stays dark forever I hope the worst isn't over And I hope you blink before I do And I hope I never get sober
The only reason this perennial favourite of mine wasn’t on the first playlist was that I had too many Mountain Goats songs already and wanted to keep things balanced. But this one got all the ones that didn’t make it to the first playlist plus some more I thought about later, so I’m kind of giving up on that balance by now. They just have a lot of great songs about terrible relationships, and I love them all so much.
4. “Gold Guns Girls” by Metric
I remember when we were gambling to win Everybody else said, "Better luck next time." I don't wanna bend like the bad girls bend I just wanna be your friend Is it ever gonna be enough?
This is another one that I can picture being about young Melanie, gradually growing more aware of everything that’s terribly wrong with Wilford and his approach to life, and of how little he cares to try to fix it.
5. “You’ve Haunted Me All My Life” by Death Cab for Cutie
And there's a flaw in my heart's design For I keep trying to make you mine
You've haunted me all my life You've haunted me all my life You are the mistress I can't make a wife And you've haunted me all my life
And this one I can see being Wilford thinking about either one of the women, and his unhealthy attachment to them and inability to keep them around for very long—maybe once he’s finally reunited with them both on some level in season 2, but still can’t fully persuade them both over to his side.
6. “Old College Try” by The Mountain Goats
From the cities to the swamplands From the highways to the hills Our love has never had a leg to stand on From the aspirins to the cross-tops to the Elavils
But I will walk down to the end with you If you will come all the way down with me
Another Mountain Goats classic. If you divorce it from its context of being from a concept album about a horrible marriage, I actually think this song is kind of sweet in the way it describes a couple still committing to try to make things work despite a whole host of problems. But never mind that now, because I’m putting it back in the new context of a whole collection of horrible romantic relationships!
7. “Risk” by Metric
So you're beaten up but you bounce back It’s all part of the pull And the story runs like a soundtrack We repeat 'til we're full Started slow, started late Started strong, then we lost faith Started slow, started to lose control The more we accelerate, the more we accelerate
Half of arranging any playlist I make is just trying to split up the Mountain Goats and Metric songs so that they aren’t always clumped together. Anyway, this one seems especially fitting to me in its imagery of a speeding vehicle of some kind (it’s a train, I’m always picturing a train) alongside its description of a relationship going badly.
8. “Big God” by Florence + The Machine
You know I still like you the most The best of the best and the worst of the worst Well, you can never know The places that I go I still like you the most You'll always be my favourite ghost
I think this one could be any one of the three of them contemplating their complex feelings about the past at some point around season 2.
9. “I Still Do” by The Cranberries
I don't want to leave you Even though I have to I don't want to love you Oh, I still do
There aren’t as many specifics that match the characters going on in the lyrics here, since it’s more of just a general break-up song, but I also really like the creepy way it sounds.
10. “Fault Lines” by The Mountain Goats
But none of the money we spend Seems to do us much good in the end I got a cracked engine block, both of us do
Yeah, the house and the jewels, the Italian racecar They don't make us feel better about who we are I got termites in the framework, so do you
This one feels really fitting for pre-Freeze Wilford, especially the engine imagery!
11. “I Don’t Care” by Fall Out Boy
Say my name and his in the same breath I dare you to say they taste the same Let the leaves fall off in the summer And let December glow in flames
Erase myself and let go Start it over again in Mexico These friends, they don't love you They just love the hotel suites
Another song that is simply a) an absolute jam, and b) generally fitting for my favourite obscenely rich asshole and his terrible relationships
12. “You asked for this” by Halsey
I want my cake on a silver platter I want a fistful in my hands I want a beautiful boy's despondent laughter I wanna ruin all my plans I want a fist around my throat I wanna cry so hard, I choke I want everything I asked for
This one I can picture as Audrey—or maybe Melanie too, but especially Audrey—beginning to regret getting involved with Wilford, but only once she’s in way too deep for leaving to be a safe or easy decision.
13. “my tears ricochet” by Taylor Swift
And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake? Cursing my name, wishing I stayed Look at how my tears ricochet
Much like several other Taylor Swift songs, I just know in my heart that it’s the type of music Wilford listens to in secret, while possibly drunk and definitely singing along very dramatically. This one he dedicates to Melanie once they’ve met up again in season 2.
14. “Speed the Collapse” by Metric
All the way from where we came Built a mansion in a day Distant lightning, thunder claps Watched our neighbor's house collapse Looked the other way
This one has a lot of good apocalyptic imagery that I can imagine scoring Wilford’s life in the last few years before the Freeze, as he makes his plans to save himself and let so many others die.
15. “Ox Baker Triumphant” by The Mountain Goats
I will thank my ride and crawl my way back inside To the guts of the building where my enemies Hide in the dark like roaches And I will signal the camera crew and everyone will do What he's been trained how to do Sweat dripping from my face as my moment approaches
Click your heels, count to three I bet you never expected me A little worse for wear Practically walking on air
I love this song a lot, and listening to it lately makes me imagine Wilford plotting his revenge while on his way to catch up with Snowpiercer before the end of season 1.
16. “Firewood” by Regina Spektor
The piano is not firewood yet But the cold does get cold So it soon might be that I'll take it apart, call up my friends And we'll warm up our hands by the fire
Don't look so shocked Don't judge so harsh You don't know You’re only spying Everyone knows it's going to hurt But at least we'll get hurt trying
This has to be one of my favourite songs of all time. It’s very beautiful, and I love the piano in it. I’ve always personally interpreted it to be at least partially about someone surviving a suicide attempt, and the overall imagery about burning a piano for warmth—and this bit about not judging someone for doing that—reads to me as more of a general statement about the difficult choices people struggling with mental illness and other similar issues have to make to survive. I listened to it recently and I could picture Audrey singing it in the nightcar. I think it suits her well.
17. “Cry for Judas” by The Mountain Goats
But I am just a broken machine And I do things that I don't really mean Long, black night Morning frost I'm still here But all is lost
I think the imagery of this song suits the show a lot in general, but I can also particularly imagine it being Wilford in a rare moment of self-awareness about how much damage he’s caused to the world and the people around him.
18. “Rock ‘n’ Roll Suicide” by David Bowie
Time takes a cigarette, puts it in your mouth You pull on your finger, then another finger, then your cigarette The wall-to-wall is calling, it lingers, then you forget Oh oh, oh, oh, you're a rock 'n' roll suicide
I love Wilford a lot. I don’t want anything bad to happen to him ever. I hope he kills more people, and I hope he gets his train back, and I hope he wins. But if he does eventually die in the show, I hope he’s found in the bathtub with there being some ambiguity about whether he really killed himself or whether one of his victims turned the tables on him, and I hope the climax of this song swells as the camera pans over his dead body. That’s the only Wilford death I will accept, thanks for coming to my TED talk.
19. “Source Decay” by The Mountain Goats
I park in an alley And I read through the postcards you continue to send Where as indirectly as you can, you ask what I remember I like these torture devices from my old best friend Well, I'll tell you what I know, like I swore I always would I don't think it's gonna do you any good I remember the train headed south out of Bangkok Down toward the water
Okay, I promise this is the last Mountain Goats song on the playlist. It’s just—it’s perfect. It has a train in it. And on the podcast “I Only Listen To The Mountain Goats,” John Darnielle commented that there’s barely anywhere you can go south of Bangkok before you hit the water, it’s a train going nowhere, it’s so good. It’s also one of the songs I’ve previously ripped a line off for my fanfiction titles!
20. “Sellers of Flowers” by Regina Spektor
The sellers of flowers Buy up old roses They pull off dead petals Like old heads of lettuce And sell ’em as new ones For cheaper and fairer But they die by the morning So who is the winner? Not the roses Not the buyers Not the sellers Maybe winter
And Regina Spektor closes out the playlist again! This song is another one I picked more on imagery and vibes than anything else. But since it’s about a young child in a world that seems to be moving inexorably toward an all-consuming winter, if it suits any of the characters, maybe it’s an appearance of Alex here at the end!
Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy the playlist!
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alphabet-blues · 3 years
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For @volantium and @parkner-keenker
Read on Ao3
Title: ‘tis the season
Pairing: Harley Keener/Peter Parker
Fandom: Spider-Man (Tom Holland), and MCU
Chapters: 1/1
Rating: General Audiences
Word Count: 4,699
Content Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Tags: Christmas, Christmas Fic, Holiday Party, Light Angst, Angst and Fluff, Kissing, Childhood Trauma
Summary:
To Harley, Christmas had only ever been a series of disappointments.
To Harley, Christmas had only ever been a series of disappointments. 
It was hard for him to remember any Christmases before his Dad left. His whole childhood was split into two categories: a section of Before his Dad left, and then all of the After. He had vague memories of a tree in their living room, a real tree, one that smelled like pine and left needles on the floor that Harley had to be cautious of. Occasionally there were flashes of Abbie crawling on the floor in a bright pink onesie, delighted by all of the commotion Harley had caused by opening his presents. 
Those were some of the good ones. 
When Harley was 7, and Abbie was 4, they had to take the Greyhound by themselves. Their Dad had left the beginning of the year. They hadn’t seen him since that day in February when he had up and left. Harley hadn’t gotten his hopes up, but when their Dad had arranged tickets for them to ride the bus up to his new place in Ohio, Harley let himself wonder what it would be like to have the back and forth. To have elusive summers at their Dad’s, instead of staying where they were. 
That was the last time Harley fooled himself into believing that their Dad cared. 
Their Mom hadn’t wanted them to go, especially alone, but she couldn’t miss a shift at the diner, and so it went. Harley and Abbie were both loaded up with backpacks of their own, filled with snacks and drinks, and a couple of dollars tucked into the zipper pocket at the front of Harley’s bag. Harley had held Abbie’s hand in a vice grip nearly the entire time, not wanting to lose her for an instant, even if they were sitting next to each other on the bus. 
The 6-hour ride on the bus was uneventful. Abbie was mostly entertained by her LeapFrog, until it died a few hours in. After that, she had fallen asleep with her thumb in her mouth, and her head resting on Harley’s shoulder. The bus eventually rolled to a stop once they got to their station. Abbie was tired and groggy, so Harley had carried her the best he could manage with his tiny arms. He stepped into the station and they waited. 
Two hours in, Harley got a sinking feeling.
It was the night of Christmas Eve, and it was only getting later, and closer to Christmas morning. Their Dad was supposed to have met them there and picked them up at the station. By the time three hours had passed, and Abbie had blinked herself into a more alert state, Harley knew that their Dad wasn’t coming. 
“Come with me. Hold my hand.” Harley had instructed, tugging Abbie close. Abbie had nodded dutifully, and held out her hand for Harley to take in a bone-crushing grip. She followed him as he went up to a lady at the ticket counter. He pulled out a crumpled dollar bill from his bag and held it out to her. 
When he asked if she had a phone he could use, she pointed him in the direction of the payphone outside. She gave him change for his dollar and told him to come back inside and ask for help if he needed it. Harley had said, “Yes ma’am, thank you, ma’am,” which made her smile. 
The payphone was a little ways away from the station and in the parking lot. It was cold; cold enough that Harley shivered in his coat. Abbie was bundled in a giant puffer jacket that threatened to consume her whole. Harley still frowned, and ushered her in close, shielding her from the wind, while he dialed the number he had memorized ever since he went into Kindergarten. His teeth chattered as he waited for it to connect.  
Their Mom picked up after a few rings. There hadn’t been a point up until that moment that Harley had wanted to cry. But, when he told his Mom over the phone that their Dad hadn’t showed, he had to bite his lip to keep it from wobbling. His Mom was nearly hysterical almost immediately, and Harley and Abbie were going to have to wait for her to drive up to get them, which meant six more hours, at least, at the station. It would be well into Christmas morning by the time their Mom would get there. 
That set the tone, really. 
Once Harley had put the payphone back onto its hinge, he had trudged back into the station, with Abbie in tow, mostly tucked under his arm. The lady at the front desk immediately took pity, and made sure to supply them with water and snacks. She even at one point in the night/morning procured a deck of cards, and taught Harley how to play War, while Abbie watched on with glee. After they had gotten their fill of that game, the lady at the desk taught them how to play Blackjack and Poker, the latter Abbie took to like a sponge, even if she didn’t grasp everything completely. It was fun, but-
It still didn’t alleviate the burn of knowing that their father had abandoned them, again. 
As the night waned on into morning, Abbie and Harley both fell asleep, by a bench in the corner, half on top of each other, using their backpacks as makeshift pillows. Harley had woken up a bit later and saw his Mom, frenzied and talking to the lady at the desk in hushed voices. 
“Mama?” Harley had called out, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. The action caused Abbie to stir next to him. Almost as soon as she processed that their Mom was there she started to cry. Their Mom rushed over to her, and scooped her up into her arms, while Harley held onto her one outstretched hand. 
They said goodbye to the front desk lady, and their Mom buckled them into her car, which was idled out front. It was old, and beat up, and in no condition to be doing a long drive, but she had made it there nonetheless. Their Mom was too tired to do the drive back, so they rented a nearby motel room to get some sleep. They all slept together in the same bed until it was close to evening on Christmas Day. 
The drive home was mostly silent. Harley didn’t have any idea why their Dad hadn’t shown up for them, but he knew that he shouldn’t ask. Every once in a while on the drive their Mom would start crying. When she did, Harley would look out the window. He couldn’t stand seeing his Mom cry. 
When they got home it was late, and they were all exhausted. Regardless, their Mom had insisted that they open presents under the tree. Abbie and Harley both opened their couple of presents, and did their best not to act glum. It wasn’t even Christmas anymore. 
Harley spent most of the night thinking about Ohio, and what was so great there that their Dad didn’t want them anymore. 
*
The following Christmas, it was like walking on eggshells. They never discussed the events of the previous year, but they still hung in the air. Their Dad leaving was fresh, even if it had been over a year since he had walked out the front door and never came back. But even when he had walked out the door that day in February and never looked back, Harley never felt abandoned until him and Abbie were sitting alone at that bus station.
*
The Christmas after that, Tony Stark of all people showed up. It gave Harley hope, for once. Maybe this Christmas wouldn’t be so bad. Then, Harley watched a girl burn alive, her skin turning into a molten orangey-glow that made him sick to his core. Tony was different from what Harley had seen on TV, and he looked tired, like his Mom after a long shift. 
Harley had just started to give Christmas a chance - then Tony left, too. Just like everyone else.
*
All of the Christmases after that held nothing of note. By the time Abbie and Harley were teenagers, Christmas was barely a holiday in the Keener house. It wasn’t a thing, but rather an unspoken agreement. Christmas couldn’t become a disappointment if there were no expectations to begin with. 
Everything, of course, changed when Harley met Peter. 
*
Falling for Peter had kind of been like staring at the sun. When Harley focused on him for too long his retinas singed, but he couldn’t look away. Peter was kind, and smart, and funny, and so much all the time that Harley had to pinch himself whenever Peter trained all of his brightness onto him. He was beautiful. He was a nuclear fusion of hydrogen; a swirl of helium that took up so much more than every star Harley could ever make out in the sky. As far as Harley was concerned, Peter was the milky way, and he was sitting on the grass tracing constellations. 
*
They had been dating for six months by the time Christmas season rolled around. What Harley hadn’t accounted for was how much Peter loved Christmas. He was bundled up in sweaters almost as soon as the calendar passed into December. His apartment had a tree, and was filled to the brim with decorations, and lights. He wanted to watch a slew of Christmas movies, and never failed to hum along with whatever Christmas song was playing in a store they were at, all while still always holding Harley’s hand. 
Harley did his best to tune it out. He wasn’t a grinch, but, he was never going to have anywhere near the same level of enthusiasm that Peter did about the holiday. He wanted Peter to enjoy himself, and it was nice, seeing him so happy and excited. Harley couldn’t risk him losing the little gleam in his eyes that he had grown accustomed to.
But then, Christmas Day had came, along with the same loneliness that caught up with him like clockwork every year. He was invited over to May’s by Peter. He had initially planned on going, for Peter’s sake, but backed out last minute, much to Peter’s disappointment. He just didn’t think that he could bear it. 
Somehow though, Harley had lucked out and managed to find the most perfect boyfriend in all of existence. When Peter wrapped up with Aunt May he came back to Harley’s apartment. It was late, late enough that Harley was already in bed and he was pretty sure it had passed into Boxing Day. Peter had shucked off his jacket and shoes noisily, then climbed right into bed with him, lining himself up along Harley’s back. Harley squawked at his frozen fingers and toes.
“Missed you,” Peter said into his neck, which made Harley snort. They had just seen each other that morning. 
Harley kissed him, then pulled back, grimacing. “You taste like eggnog.” 
Peter frowned, and Harley could see it even in the dark. Then he asked tentatively, his voice small, “Why don’t you like Christmas, Harls?” 
Harley didn’t say anything at first, and let out a breath. He ran his fingers up Peter’s torso and counted each one of his ribs. “I don’t…” Harley trailed off, not sure of what to say, or where to even begin. “It’s okay.” 
“I wanted you to have a good Christmas,” Peter said, and he sounded so morose, like it personally saddened him that Harley hadn’t had fun. 
“Christmases have never been good,” Harley eventually settled on, keeping his tone neutral. “They just - haven’t.” 
Peter tucked his face into Harley’s chest, then blinked up at him with those brown eyes of his, the ones that he knew were Harley’s weakness. “What happened?” He whispered, like if he asked too loud Harley might shut down and not tell him. He knew him well, well enough to wait him out. 
It was a few minutes later, when Peter’s breath had evened out, that Harley found himself saying, “When Abbie and I were little, our Dad left us at a bus station on Christmas.” 
It was quiet, only for a moment, long enough for Harley to wonder if Peter had heard him at all. But then, Peter said, his voice cracking, “Oh, Harley, that’s awful.” 
Harley laughed, despite himself. He couldn’t help it. Peter sounded so heartbroken, he had to let it roll off. If he internalized it, and really let Peter in deep he didn’t know if he could ever tug him back out. “It happens,” he said, with a breeziness he didn’t really feel, and did an awkward half-shrug from under Peter’s weight. “But I like that you like Christmas,” He said, wanting to get to the important part, because that’s what mattered. It was okay that Harley would get down on Christmas, because Peter loved it enough for the both of them. 
Or really, that’s the conclusion that Harley had come to. 
So, cue his bafflement when another year passed with him and Peter still together. They moved in together over the summer, and it was easy. It was easy in a way that nothing else in Harley’s life ever had been. It was almost the middle of December when Harley realized that Peter hadn’t so much said a word about Christmas, which was-
Concerning.
Harley thought about it for nearly the entire time it took him to get home from work. When he did, Peter was still out. He looked over their apartment with a new eye and made note that not a single decoration had been put up. He hadn’t even seen Peter pull out a single one of his Christmas sweaters. A bad taste grew in Harley’s mouth as his brain provided him with a theory.
You ruined Christmas for him, the voice in the back of his head supplied. 
And yeah, Peter hadn’t been as smiley lately, or as cheerful as Harley remembered him being the previous year. He had also been spending a lot of late nights out, ones that Harley never questioned, but now sat at the forefront of his mind. 
He had confided in him about his worst Christmas. He had even told him about the lady who had played cards with them and gave them food while their Mom was on her way. He had told him all about it because he had asked, but now, it felt like a mistake. 
He waited up for Peter to get home. He fucked around on Instagram, watching the door. Eventually, Peter came through it. He was swathed in layers from head to toe, his frame swallowed by a big puffy jacket, boots, a hat, and a scarf. His cheeks were bright red, and he gave Harley a delighted grin once he saw him. “Hey, babe,” he said cheerily, before swooping down for a kiss.
He went over to hang his jacket up when Harley prodded, “Where were you tonight?” 
“Just hanging out with MJ,” Peter said casually, not looking at him.
That would have been fine, except, Harley had seen MJ’s most recent story posted about an hour ago, and she had most definitely not been hanging out with Peter. 
Harley let it sit in the air for a few moments, enough to debate if he was going to call him on it. Though, he could never leave well enough alone. He sucked in a breath. “Where were you, really?” 
He watched Peter freeze, and then look at him with wide eyes. “What do you mean?”
“I know you weren’t with MJ,” He said, and hated how the words sounded as they spilled out of his mouth.
“Harley, I-”
“I don’t care,” he said, feeling exasperated. “Just...where were you?”
Peter slumped, shifting his eyes guiltily, and sunk his shoulders until he deflated. “I was wrapping presents,” he muttered, low enough that Harley could just barely make it out.
“What?” He said, going numb.
“I was wrapping presents, with May,” Peter said a little louder, but looked just as guilty.
Harley was heartbroken.
“Jesus,” Harley breathed, and tugged his hands through his hair, turning away so he wasn’t facing him.
“Harley-”
Harley cut him off, his voice raised, “You never put up a tree!”
“What?” Peter said, his brows knitting together in confusion.
“You haven’t said anything about Christmas this year, and now you feel like you have to sneak away to wrap presents with Aunt May?” 
Peter’s eyes widened, and he started wringing his hands together. “I don’t- I just-” he bit his lip. “I thought that maybe you couldn’t have a bad Christmas if we didn’t have Christmas.”
Harley closed his eyes. “That’s not what I want at all.” When he finally opened his eyes Peter was looking at him so dejectedly that Harley’s heart broke all over again. Harley motioned for Peter to come over to where he was on the couch. “C’mere, baby.”
Peter only hesitated for a moment before he melted against Harley, and let Harley manhandle him into his lap. “You were so sad last year,” Peter said quietly against his neck. “I didn’t want to make you sad.” 
Harley sighed. “I like that you like Christmas, okay? I do.” 
Peter seemed dubious. “You really mean that?” 
Harley nodded. “I like seeing you all excited, and happy. I hate that I ruined that.” 
“You didn’t ruin anything!” Peter insisted, even though Harley didn’t believe him.
*
They talked it through, but Harley still felt like he had ruined Christmas. It lingered above them, unresolved. Peter had yet to fully relax and indulge, at least not to the full extent that he had the previous year, when he was completely unguarded. He would broach the topic of Christmas ever since their talk, but would always glance shiftily at Harley afterwards, like he was waiting for him to be put-off. Harley couldn’t stand it, but he also couldn’t figure out how to fix it either. 
He resigned himself to calling Abbie. If there was one person on planet Earth who understood his fucked up feelings on Christmas - it was her. 
And of course, like the little genius she was, her solution had been simple:
“Why don’t you and Peter make a good memory together on Christmas?”
Which, huh. Harley had never given that a thought, but suddenly it made sense. All Peter had ever wanted was for Harley to have a good Christmas, but he had been too caught up in his own misery and angst to give that to him. 
“Christmas isn’t all bad,” Abbie said, seeing right through Harley, like always. “I know it kind of sucked growing up, but I went to Jen’s house for Christmas last year and it was so nice. Why don’t you and Peter just do something together?” 
“Fuck,” Harley said intelligently, and leaned back in his chair. He then gave Abbie his most charming smile over their video call. “Do you think you could make it up to New York this year?”
“To save your sorry ass, you bet,” She said, rolling her eyes, but gave Harley a smile at the end anyway. 
Harley wrapped up the phone call pretty quickly after that. He had a plan that he had to see through.
*
Getting everything lined up and everyone on board was a lot easier than Harley had initially anticipated. He had called May first, who immediately  insisted that if there was a holiday party of any kind that it should be held at the Tower, she also was sworn to secrecy from Peter. Next, Harley called Pepper. She was warm to the idea of having a slap-dash Avengers holiday party hosted at the Tower, and went into full cutthroat planning mode almost instantly, it was enough to make Harley sweat. 
Things sort of just fell into place after that. Roping their makeshift crew and everyone adjacent into accepting invitations went smoothly, and nobody let it slip to Peter what was going on. 
*
By the time Christmas Eve arrived, Harley was nervous. 
Getting Peter dressed and into an Uber was a little more precarious. He had made a few inquiring confused faces when Harley said he wanted to go somewhere, but otherwise didn’t question him. During the ride Harley did his best to distract him so he wouldn’t pay attention to where they were headed. Harley had a few texts on his phone letting him know that the party was in full-swing. Abbie had even sent him a few excited selfies she had taken from inside the Tower.
When the car slowed to a stop only a few blocks from the Tower entrance Peter abruptly quieted his idle chatter and furrowed his brows, looking at Harley. 
“Harley? What are we doing here?” Peter glanced back and forth between the car window and Harley, like he was trying to slot things together but they weren’t clicking just right, it was hopelessly endearing. 
“C’mon,” Harley said, his palms sweaty. “We don’t want to be late.” 
He dragged a dazed and confused Peter down the street, through the lobby, and eventually into the elevators in the Tower. 
“What’s going on!” Peter demanded as soon as the elevator door closed, and Harley had to hold back a smile at Peter crowding into his space and being all faux-threatening. “If you don’t tell me what we’re doing here I swear I’m gonna-” 
He was cut off by the doors parting on the top floor, and revealing a festive scene. Harley had to admit that Pepper had outdone herself. There were decorations and twinkle lights spread all around the room, casting everything in a warm glow. Various Avengers were scattered around, mingling, and laughing. And a giant, ostentatious Christmas tree sat in the corner, nearly reaching the ceiling, with mounds of presents piled underneath. 
“You-” Peter started, his eyes wide, before he whirled around to look at him. “Oh my god!”
Harley ducked his head, smiling sheepishly. His hands itched to stuff them inside of his pocket. “Surprise,” He mumbled.
Peter’s eyes went shiny. “You did this for me?”
Harley shrugged, he was sure the tips of his ears were probably pink. Yeah, he wanted to say, of course I did this for you, everything I ever do is for you. “You love Christmas,” is what he settled on instead. “Abbie said we just needed some good memories...so…”
Peter softened, and Harley only had half a second to brace himself before Peter launched at him, and he got an armful of messy brown curls. “I love you,” Peter told him, his voice full of wonder before he tugged him in for a messy kiss. “I can’t believe you kept this from me!” Peter breathed out before giving Harley a giggle of pure delight.
“I had some help,” Harley said, not wanting to take all of the credit. But Peter just gave him one of his small secret smiles, like he could see right through every word that came out of his mouth. It was intoxicating. 
“Gross!” A voice that Harley would recognize anywhere piped up from only a few feet away. “I thought we banned mistletoe for a reason!”
“Abbs!” Harley grinned, and broke away from Peter to give his little sister a hug, almost swooping her feet off the ground in the process. He pulled away enough to grab onto her shoulders. “You givin’ Stark a hard time?” 
“I’m on my worst behavior,” She declared with glee. “Tony won’t let me around Morgan, but I think it’s because he’s scared of the power we both possess.” 
“Atta’girl,” Harley laughed, and watched her head over to where Pepper was. 
Peter tsked. “You Keeners, nothing but trouble.” 
Harley’s grin widened as he brought a hand to Peter’s hip. “Yeah, but I seem to remember you likin’ some trouble.”
Peter’s eyes glinted dangerously, like he was about to spout off at the mouth, but then his eyes trained on someone over Harley’s shoulder. 
“May!” He yelled excitedly, and suddenly dragged Harley over to where she was. 
They bantered with May for a while until Wanda and Vision entered with their new set of twins and stole the show. Abbie immediately cooed over them, which Harley observed fondly. The Tower was packed with Avengers, and friends alike. Natasha and May tucked themselves into a corner, both with glasses of wine, and seemed to be getting on like a house on fire. 
Peter appeared to take in the scene with a mixture of admiration, and awe. He shot Harley these looks that said, “Can you believe this?” And a little part of Harley couldn’t. He was actually having fun. For the first time in his life he got it, he understood why Peter saw Christmas as something special. This time, Harley wasn’t just enduring Christmas.
A little later, once everyone was properly tipsy, Morgan had been ushered into bed, and Vision had fastened the sleeping babies into their carrier - the Poker game started. 
It had been Tony’s idea, and Harley had to hold back his snicker. Tony was cocky, already trash-talking everyone at the table. Harley initially wasn’t going to play, but Peter had goaded him into it. He said, “Please, Harley?” in just the right way to have Harley sighing and saying, “Deal me in.” 
“They don’t even know you’re going to win,” Peter whispered to him, and Harley decided not to tell him how wrong he was, he didn’t want to spoil the show he no doubt was going to get. It was cute. Harley was a damn good Poker player, and Peter knew it, too, but, he had also never had the joy of seeing Abbie Keener at full velocity. 
Harley met eyes with Abbie from across the table, and he could tell just by their sparkle that they were all in for it. 
It was safe to say that Abbie wiped the floor with Tony. 
She kicked his ass so hard that Tony had crowed in complete outrage, demanding a rematch. Abbie’s grin was downright devious when she beat them all again, and scooped up her chips (which were m&ms), collecting her loot. At this point, the whole table was shaking with laughter. Peter had buried his face into Harley’s shoulder halfway through the second game, so Harley could feel it vibrate through his collarbone every time he laughed. Harley had his arm flung back along the back of Peter’s chair, and he couldn’t help his manic, joyful grin whenever Tony shouted. 
“Where did you learn to play like that!” Tony interrogated, cutting through the teetering of the table. 
Abbie shot Harley a secret glance. “A lady at a bus station taught me, and Harleen over there, of course.” 
Harley could feel Peter going stock still next to him. But it was okay. It was good to joke about it, in a way. He was too busy laughing over the whole display to get down. “When are you gonna learn, old man, you never play Poker against the Keeners.” Harley teased. Peter’s choked snort from next to him was enough to coat him like a victory. 
Harley felt good. He felt warm, and satisfied as he peered around at everyone at the table. He wondered if this is what Christmas felt like for everyone else - a celebration, and excuse for a showcase of love. He could see the appeal.
Then later, much later, when most of the activities for that night had been cleared away and it had officially crossed into actual Christmas, Harley sat on the couch in the center of the penthouse. Peter was curled up next to him, a pile of sleepy goo in his lap. Harley idly carded his fingers through Peter’s hair while he periodically purred in content. 
Harley whispered, quiet enough that only Peter could hear, “Merry Christmas, baby.” 
Peter hummed. “Merry Christmas, Harls,” he mumbled back.
As Harley looked at the Christmas tree in the corner, with Peter’s warm breath on his leg, he couldn’t help but think that maybe Christmas wasn’t so much of a perpetual disappointment after all. 
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dathen · 4 years
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OKAY SO, each season has one of the entities as the main enemy and while s5 is the eye on the surface (imo) I think towards the end of the season the web is gonna bust out to reveal how it has been the main enemy throughout the whole series. I know that peter said back in 134 that he thought the web doesn’t want to do a ritual BUT; I feel like 167 suggests—in context with a lot of other stuff—that the web was attempting to learn HOW to do a ritual that would actually work by using emma 1/?
experimenting on her fellow assistants. The web has seen other rituals fail dozens of times now and NO ONE can ever remember the web attempting a ritual before? I don’t think so. Peter claims the web likes the world as is bc everyone is already manipulating each other already, but what better way to manipulate the other powers than to make them assume you don’t WANT to do a ritual. Plus, that way the web was free to pull it’s strings and test what would actually work. 2/?
I think the web figured out that for a ritual to work they would need someone who had been marked by each fear to go through with a ritual. I think the web tested all of this with emma, and after they got what they wanted the pulled the strings to get rid of her and later, gertrude. I know jon is the archive, and the beholding’s avatar, but I can’t help but wonder if being marked by the web before being taken by the eye is gonna come into play towards the end? 3/?
(if you sent any more after the third one they didn’t come through!)
BUT YEAH. VERY INTERESTING.  TMA 167 showed us some purposeful manipulation from the Web when normally we just get an isolated action, or a maybe-action, and have to figure out from the results of those what it meant all along.  
For one, I see Peter’s comment in TMA 134 taken as fact that We Know the Web Didn’t Want the Apocalypse, but I feel you’re absolutely right in questioning that.  For one, Peter Lukas is not the most....reliable source.  The danger of the Extinction wasn’t even that much of a thing.  He got duped by every main character he interacted with.  He made many assumptions, and so many of them turned out to be false or shaky.  But in TMA 134, he didn’t even try to frame it as a fact, just as an educated guess:
There are two powers that, to my knowledge, have never attempted to fully manifest. Never had followers set them up for a ritual. Mother of Puppets, and Terminus. The Web and the End. 
The Web, I’ve never really been sure about. If I were to guess, I would say it actually prefers the world as is: playing everyone against each other. And so on.
Taking this as a done deal because Peter Lukas guessed it is a HUGE jump to conclusions.  My theory?  The Web never attempted a ritual because the Web knew they wouldn’t work.  The Web is about connections, the Web uses and manipulates the other fears.  If any forces knew the truth of how to draw itself into the world, it would be the Web.  I am 100% with you on “I think the web figured out that for a ritual to work they would need someone who had been marked by each fear to go through with a ritual.”
(this got long oh no, more below!)
I’m not entirely sure if the Web was still figuring this out during Gertrude’s time, or if it was trying to get Jonah to figure it out.  If we assume the Web knew the secrets of how to end the world using the Apocalypse, it would still need the participation of an Archivist.  Gertrude herself was tricked into receiving what was arguably a simultaneous Web and Desolation mark when she was a brand new, 25-year-old Archivist:
Of course, what I thought was a banishment ritual turned out not to be. The circle I constructed was more of a - (exhale) - an invitation.
It let the Mother of Puppets bind me to Agnes, interweave our existences at some… metaphysical level, as it had with Fielding and the house.
It was the most painful experience of my life. I mean, I’m sure it’s nothing to you, but I’ve never had my lungs try to burn me alive from the inside out before.
Jonah said the Web mark would have been the most difficult to arrange, but here it reeled Gertrude into one right from the start.
...But after that, we don’t have any evidence of her collecting more marks.  She grew cautious.  There were probably a few, sure, but her strategy involved distance, whether sacrificing others or setting up C-4.  
After binding Gertrude and Agnes, the next thing we know the Web interfered in was with Emma.  She became a scar-distributing machine.  If Gertrude wasn’t going to collect the scars, now the Web had someone who would make sure someone else was.  And if that someone else died or was lost, Emma would start again with someone else.
But what was the use of all this without Jonah knowing?  That’s where the Web’s next move comes in: 
And all through it Gertrude could not see what was happening. And certainly the Spider smoothed things, elided questions, wiped away evidence, but it barely had to. Far better to feed Gertrude a steady string of plans to foil and rituals to derail.
The parade of rituals didn’t stop after Emma’s death, so I think the motive behind this was more than just distracting her from what Emma was doing.  My bet is that by overwhelming Gertrude with rituals to stop, one would eventually slip through the cracks.  And one did--the Dark’s, which taught Jonah the last of what he needed to know to complete his own ritual.
...Or should I say, the Web’s?
Things got thrown out of whack by Gertrude and Agnes’s interference.  Gertrude was too good at actually stopping rituals, so it took much too long for Jonah to learn that a ritual cannot succeed with a single entity.  Also, Emma the scar-machine was discovered and killed, which got rid of the most efficient way to set up a potential pre-scarred Archivist.  How far along on the path was Sarah when she died?
Now all of this theorizing just stops at the end of the season 4 timeline, of course.  I think the Web very very much wanted the apocalypse, and everything from the Not!Them’s table delivery to sending Oliver to wake Jon was for the goal of collecting his scars.  It still wants something now, though, and whatever it is can’t be good, but my bet is that it already accomplished what it collected Jon’s scars for.  
I think what it wants now is Martin.  That sudden urge Jon had to leave the cabin and kill Elias?  Annabelle’s repeated attempts to get in touch with Martin after?  I can’t even begin to guess what her goal is (other than she does not already have Martin on her side, otherwise the calls make no sense at all), so I’m just going to angrily hiss in her direction for the time being.  
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misskikuwrites · 4 years
Text
Into the Wild (1/8)
Bede/Gloria (dressedinpinkshipping)
-
Gloria sauntered into Ballonlea's Gym as if she owned the place, smiling to the Gym Trainers with a quick wave before walking over to Bede. He studied her curiously, taking a moment to quieten the thrum of his heart as she approached. He could feel the knowing eyes of the staff on him. His body prickled irritably and he swallowed a sharp bark at them to mind their own business as he greeted Gloria.
"So, what is it this time?" Bede asked, forcing himself to sound indifferent. The pittering of his heart was difficult to ignore, the way his heart, his blood, came alive in her presence.
She diffidently struggled to meet his eyes, the hesitation in her eyes making his stomach, his heart, flutter wildly.
"Do you have a moment?" she asked softly. "Can I… talk to you outside?" She finally looked at him, an uncertainty in her voice, in her warm brown eyes, making his breath catch in a tight, nervous hitch. His mind spun for a moment before he remembered to answer.
"Sure, I was about to take a break anyway."
A thrill of heat rushed up his neck and settled on his cheeks at the ambiguity in her words, Bede's mind launching to sudden conclusions that made his heart fluster. The timid way she nodded, looked away from him and led the way out of the Gym sent a tingle of heat through his veins. It was as if her nervous behaviour was contagious. Infecting him and making it difficult to breathe, to meet her eyes.
She was so nervous for some reason, meek and bashful, and the striking difference to her normal demeanor made it difficult for Bede not to jump to conclusions. He tried desperately not to focus on the soft blush on her cheeks as he followed her from the Gym. On the way she walked faster than normal, always keeping a few quick steps ahead. On the apprehension in her eyes when she glanced at him.
Bede's heart stuttered. His lungs felt strangely tight. The air was thicker than normal, a sticky blanket of air wrapped around him and making him feel warmer, stuffier than usual. He desperately wanted to wipe the sweat off his palms. Wanted to swallow the clammy feeling in his throat away.
Gloria stopped at the edge of the Glimwood Tangle, a fragile silence descending around them. She turned to face Bede, raising her eyes hesitantly to meet his. She gnawed absently, nervously, on her bottom lip.
Bede needed something, anything, to break the suffocating silence. "So… what did you want to speak to me about?" he asked. His voice came out strained and tense. Stiff and forced.
Her eyes shifted away. "Well, it's… a bit complicated, actually."
Every second that passed made Bede's heart pound harder, faster, louder in his chest.
"Try me."
She twirled her fingers together, fiddling as she spoke. "I… kinda need to ask you a favour…"
"And? You've asked me to do innumerable favours for you before."
What was different about this one that made her so nervous? The spinning cogs in Bede's mind whirled francticly to make sense of all of this.
Gloria pursed her lips. "It's a big favour."
"Exactly what kind of favour is it?" The nerves were finally settling, Bede raising a suspicious eyebrow at her. She wouldn't meet his eyes.
"So… you know how we're in between League Challenges…?" she began slowly, twiddling her fingers sheepishly, "and we're preparing for the next one at the moment…?"
Bede took a deep breath to clear the remaining nerves from his lungs. "What is it? Are you going to reach something resembling a point anytime soon?"
"I need your help, Bede!" Gloria huffed, scowling embarrassingly at him. "That's what! It's the Champion's job to go through the Wild Area between seasons and deal with any issues with wild Pokemon or the terrain and I... was going to ask if you would come with me…" The fire in her voice petered out, she dropped her gaze away.
"You… need my help?" A self-satisfied bubble of pride bloomed in his chest. His lips pulled up into a smug grin. "The Champion is asking for my help?"
"Yes!" Gloria pouted, a frustrated blush colouring her cheeks. "Please, don't tease me about this. You're the only one I could ask..."
Arceus, his heart swelled with warm pride. He fought to keep the giddy smile on his face from expanding.
"Well, if you say it like that, I suppose I could find it in me to help you."
"Really?" She blinked earnestly at him, her eyes wide and pleading. She leant forward on her toes, hands clasped in front of her chest.
Bede's breath caught and he turned his face away at how close she was, so suddenly, and cursed the rising heat on his cheeks. "Y-Yes, that's what I said. I'll help you."
Gloria sank back on her heels and pumped her fists happily. "Yes! Oh, thank you, Bede!"
Before he could register what was happening, Gloria embraced him in a quick hug. His mouth dropped open in a strangled gasp, his body freezing rigid and taught as her silky hair tickled the side of his face and neck. He breathed in a gasp of peach and vanilla. Her scent. It was gone as quickly as she'd hugged him, her warmth suddenly and desperately missed as Bede sagged as if his spine had melted.
"I was so worried you wouldn't agree and I'd have to spend a week in the Wild Area by myself," Gloria rambled, relieved and excited.
"Hold on - it's going to take a week?" Bede's heart dropped into his stomach. A cold wave of dread, of sinking trepidation, washed over him.
A full week.
In the Wild Area.
Alone with Gloria.
"Um… yes." Gloria smiled sheepishly at him. "That's why it's a rather big favour…" Her smile lessened fractionally, a bead of worry in her eyes. "Are you… still going to help me?"
Bede exhaled a deep sigh, wondering what, exactly, he had gotten himself into. "I said I'd help you, so I will. I'm not going to go back on my word."
"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Gloria cheered sweetly. "I won't forget this, ever!"
Her smile was too dazzling, too bright. Bede couldn't look at it without succumbing to a rush of heat. His cheeks burned under the effects of her smile.
"Well, before you get too excited, we need to figure out the details of this trip," Bede said, scrambling for something to focus his mind on, something to bring him down to earth as his heart threatened to soar away. "How long do you expect this to take? Have you planned out where you're going to start, at least?"
Gloria grinned proudly. "I have, actually! I asked Leon for some estimates based on his experience and it should take no more than a week; three or four days to deal with the Southern Wild Area, about the same for the North. We can stop in Motostoke in between."
Bede nodded slowly, surprised that she's actually thought ahead about this. She was usually more impulsive, more I'll-deal-with-that-when-I-get-to-it kind of thinking.
"I was planning to leave next Saturday. We could meet in the Meet-up Spot at around eight in the morning?"
"We'll meet at your place. I'll want to check all our gear before we head off. You have a track record for being a bit too optimistic at times."
Gloria rolled her eyes. "I've camped in the Wild Area before. I know what to expect."
"And yet you seem to think that you can route the whole Wild Area in a week."
Gloria sent him a challenged pout. "You don't think I can? Leon could do it, and I beat him!"
"In a battle, yes. But you seem to forget that Leon had been Champion for many years. For him, a week is fine. For you…?" he raised a pointed eyebrow. "Maybe a week and a half, minimum. Remember, Leon had his Charizard. From what I've gathered, you plan to hike the whole journey."
Gloria nodded slowly as the truth of Bede's words sank in. "Okay, we'll meet at my place, then. Oh! We can take the train from Wedgehurst! It'll be like we're starting our journey again!"
She gasped so excitedly that Bede couldn't bring himself to argue and remind her that taking a sky taxi would be quicker.
"I'll have to change up my team a little if we're going to deal with a range of Pokemon," Bede commented, his mind continuously thinking. "Might be worth it to catch any strong Pokemon we come across."
Gloria bit back an enthusiastic squeal, bouncing on her toes with a bright smile. "Oh, I'm so excited! I've already sent my tent in to get patched and I've stocked up on a ton of Ultra Balls."
"Potions and food too, I should hope."
She rolled her eyes. "That's next on my list."
"You have a list?" Bede said, sounding impressed with a teasing smirk.
"Of course! Although, I'd still like to drop into Motostoke after three or four days. We can deal with the rest of the Southern Wild Area after that before moving north."
Bede nodded as their plan slowly came into place. It actually seemed feasible.
"Is that all you wanted to talk to me about?" he asked.
"Yeah."
Bede raised an eyebrow. "Then why did you have to drag me all the way out here to do so?"
Her nervous demeanor and the way she'd ask to speak outside had given him a completely wrong impression on what she'd wanted to talk about.
Gloria looked away. "Well… I was a bit… embarrassed about it."
"Embarrassed to ask me for help?"
"Embarrassed that I had to ask for help at all. And, as much as I like everyone at your Gym, they can be a bit…"
"Nosy?"
"I was going to say curious."
"They eavesdrop, Gloria. That's nosy."
Her lips twitched into a smile. "I'm glad you agreed to come with me. Hop's busy studying and helping Sonia, and Marnie's got other commitments. I was afraid I'd have to do it all by myself."
"You've camped in the Wild Area by yourself before," Bede pointed out. "You traveled solo during the Cup too."
"I know," she sighed sheepishly. "But it's so much more fun to do it with someone else."
There were many things Bede could have said then. He could've chided her that it sounded like she just didn't want to be lonely, or reminded her that they weren't doing it for fun. But the smile on her face was too dazzling for Bede to risk dampening it with a callous remark.
"Anyway, I should head off," she said. "I'll text you if anything changes, but if it doesn't, then I'll see you on Saturday!"
Bede's breath caught unconsciously. "Y-Yeah. That sounds good." A reflexive heat had begun to pool on his cheeks as his body braced for what would happen next.
Gloria then raised up on her toes, hugging him briefly, too quickly, and stepped back.
"Wait-!" Bede snatched her wrist as she went to turn away. His heart lodged high in his throat as her eyes widened. As confusion, a question, filled her eyes.
"Bede?"
The gentle way she said his name made it impossibly difficult to speak. He swallowed painfully.
"Didn't you say, before, that hugs are usually reciprocated?" Bede said. He forced the words out, his brow furrowing slightly with the effort. "You can't just hug me like that without allowing me to… reciprocate."
Her lips parted slightly. "Oh. Sorry."
Bede stole his hand back, releasing her wrist. His skin tingled where they'd touched.
Gloria hugged her arms close to her body. "I didn't want to make you uncomfortable, that's all. I… tend to go a bit overboard with hugs sometimes." She laughed lightly then, but a trickle of pain filtered through her sheepishness. "I'm not good at reading people's reactions to my hugs, or at all, really."
"I wouldn't have let you hug me in the first place if I was uncomfortable about it," Bede said.
She pursed her lips into a faint smile, but it faded quickly. "I know, but… I've annoyed people in the past by being too huggy. All the other kids in Postwick avoided me because of it, because I'd get too excited and hug someone. Hop was the only one who'd hug me back." She shrugged absently. "I guess I just don't want to… lose another friend because of it."
"Sounds like you're better off without them," Bede huffed.
"Maybe." Another shrug. "Just… let me know if I start annoying you or anything, okay? I'm really not good at those kinds of things."
"You're not annoying."
She looked at him now, her heart open and vulnerable and rough with scars. Isolation and hurt that Bede recognised and ached in response. Wounds inflicted years ago, slow to heal, never fully fading. A memory etched into flesh.
"You're impulsive and excitable, overly affectionate at times and incredulously optimistic too, but not annoying." A swath of heat spread across Bede's cheeks as he spoke. As her eyes widened, as light returned to her face. "Even if you were, I wouldn't say that because that's you. I see nothing wrong with you being the way you are."
Silence fell for a tense, deafening moment before Gloria sucked in a deep gasp.
"Aw, Bede! That's so sweet!" she chimed, bouncing quickly on her toes, positively vibrating with glee. "I have to hug you now, okay?"
She bounced on the spot for another second before Bede realised she was waiting for his permission. He nodded stiffly, his breath held tight in his lungs, and she launched herself at him with a warm hug. She shifted up and down on her toes, nuzzling into him with a happy squeal. Her hug was calming and gentle, yet firm enough for Bede to feel her body heat bleed into him, solid and soft at the same time. He managed to scramble his brain for enough cognitive functions to reciprocate her embrace, gently wrapping his arms around her back. She quietened against him. Her movements stilled and she softened in his arms, steady and silent. He felt her sigh against him, a tranquil and listless breath of air sounding in his ear.
"Mm…" she hummed and Bede felt that vibration, that quiet sound, throughout his entire body. "Your hugs are nice."
Bede blinked in stupor. His face was alight with a fierce blush, his lungs struggling for air in a mix of elation and panic. "Wh-What?"
"I feel like I could fall asleep like this…"
"Well, don't! I'm not a bed!"
She laughed, pulling out of the hug with a breathless giggle. Her eyes sparkled with dazzling mirth. "Thanks, Bede. I needed a hug just like that. Now I feel rejuvenated! Time to go shopping for more supplies!"
"Just remember that you'll have to carry everything you take. Don't expect me to lug around any junk you bring."
Gloria breathed a puff of laughter. "I know! Oh, I'm so excited now! I'll see you on Saturday, Bede!" She skipped around him, turning to give him a wave before dashing off.
Bede shook his head to himself, a small, amused smile on his face. She was completely ridiculous. A whirlwind of hugs and laughter, a crackling storm of frightening strength beneath a sunshower of bright, dazzling smiles. Even now, after all this time, she managed to surprise him.
The week ahead would certainly be very interesting indeed.
-
The days leading up to the start of their trip passed impossibly slow. Bede had obtained everything he needed for the journey the day after Gloria had asked him; a new tent (he hadn't kept the one he'd used during the Cup), a durable and sturdy backpack, a sleeping bag rated for the lowest temperatures they'd expect to encounter, and enough packaged food and potions to last over a week. He'd had the foresight to pack a decent first-aid kit, knowing fully well what Gloria was like at times. They'd be lucky to reach Motostoke without an incident or two.
The consequence of being prepared so early meant that the last few days of waiting felt agonisingly slow. The only bearable aspect to it was Gloria's excited texts, becoming full of emojis and almost indecipherable as the week progressed. She sent pictures of her gear, her pink tent now with a solid patch over the hole on the roof, the ingredients she'd stocked up on for making curry.
The night before they were scheduled to leave, Gloria sent a picture of a mound of sandwiches, texting that she had their lunch sorted - for them and their Pokemon. Bede couldn't help but smile, amused at the satisfied grin on Gloria's face in the photo, a smudge of sauce on her cheek as she posed in front of the sandwiches. Her Cinderace eyed the food in the background hungrily. A light chuckle left Bede's lips at the sight. He sent her a quick text in reply, warning her not to let Cinderace eat it all before they'd even left. He then sent another, pointing out the streak of sauce on her cheek. Her string of embarrassed emojis and exclamation marks, a barrage of texts one after another, made Bede laugh to himself. He lay back on his bed, eyes closing as he smiled. His phone buzzed in his hand, more texts from Gloria explaining that she didn't normally end up with sauce on her face after cooking. A warm bubble of amusement burst in Bede's chest. Texting Gloria was free entertainment.
Bede rolled onto his side, texting Gloria back that he wasn't so sure if he should believe her excuse, with the way she always ended up with crumbs on her face after eating. Despite the late hour, the early start they had the next day, he found he had little desire to end their conversation. The hours passed like minutes, an endless chain of texts between them filling the time. Hers sprinkled with an array of emojis, of hearts and exclamation points, as energetic as the real thing. Bede kept his short and succinct, skipping any sense of grammar or punctuation for ease. He'd thought, once or twice, about sending an emoji in reply. Entertained the idea long enough for it to flutter his heart strangely, to think that he'd adapt part of her texting style into his. He'd decided against it, in the end.
Their conversation ended abruptly, Bede's text staring blankly at him without a reply, and he realised that she must have fallen asleep. It was almost midnight, and with their train tickets for eight in the morning, they had planned to meet earlier, at her place, at half-past seven. Bede stared at the ceiling above him, a distracting thrum of anticipation in his chest. A bundle of excited nerves humming, buzzing together between his ribs. A swirl of anxious energy pumped through his veins with every beat of his heart, deafening and dizzying.
He was too excited to sleep.
-
At seven-thirty on the dot, Bede strode up to the front door of Gloria's house, dumping the heavy pack off his shoulders as he rang the doorbell. Budew cooed from the garden, soaking up the dawn. The air was cool and fresh, tinged with the scent of hay and flowers. From inside, Bede heard footsteps, a muffled voice. Wooloo and Dubwool called in the distance farms behind the house.
Bede straightened as the door opened, Gloria's mother welcoming him in with a bright, homely smile. He thanked her curtly, collecting his bag and entering with a bashful nod. His heart clenched tight in his chest, suddenly and frighteningly nervous in front of Gloria's mother. A Munchlax sat in the living room, barely paying Bede any notice save for a long, heavy yawn. In the entrance to the living room, Bede recognised the bag Gloria planned to take from pictures she'd sent him.
"She'll be out soon," Gloria's mother said. "I'd only gotten her out of bed a few moments ago." She laughed lightly. "Said she was up late last night packing."
And texting me, Bede thought as a trickle of heat curled on his cheeks. Gloria's mother didn't seem to mind the prospect of them camping together. Despite only meeting Bede a couple of times, she seemed to trust him. Liked him, even. He felt small, felt too exposed under her smile, almost wondering if she could hear the rapid pounding of his heart in his chest. Every movement he made, every word, every breath, was careful and forced into perfection. Afraid to stuff up, to fumble anything, in front of the mother of the woman he loved.
Arceus. He desperately hoped she couldn't see the blush forming on his cheeks.
"Bede! Sorry, I'm almost ready!" Gloria called, the door to her room swinging open. She stumbled out, hopping as she tried to stuff her foot in her shoe. She swept the lunch boxes off the counter, stealing a sandwich off a nearby plate in the process and holding it between her teeth, and unceremoniously shoved their lunches into her bag. In the process, she finally slipped her foot into her shoe with a tug on the heel. She stomped her heel on the floor once, then twice, then nodded satisfactorily. She drew her long hair up with practiced grace, tying it up into a neat ponytail. She stole the cap resting against her bag and placed it on her head, turning to Bede with a grin. His eyes drew to the pink Fairy Gym logo on her black cap. She still had it.
Of course she did. It was pink.
"There! Now I'm all ready to go!" Gloria beamed, taking the sandwich from between her teeth and nibbling on it.
Bede stared, torn between being impressed or concerned about that rushed performance of hers.
"Take care, you two!" Gloria's mother said. "You watch out for each other, now!"
"We will!" Gloria replied happily, scooping her bag off the floor as she munched on her sandwich. "We all good to go, or did you want to check my gear, still?"
"Unless you've decided to drastically change it since you sent me those pictures, it's fine." Bede nodded to Gloria's mother appreciatively. "We'll be off, then."
Gloria skipped around him, surprisingly nimble with the bulky bag on her shoulders. "Lets go, let's go!" She swung open the door, and Bede hurried after with long striders, saying a quick farewell to her mother.
"If you keep going like that, you'll be exhausted before we reach Wedgehurst," Bede chided.
Gloria rolled her eyes dramatically, spinning a wide circle as she walked to make sure Bede saw, but slowed to a normal pace. "It's called being excited. You should try it sometime."
"And here I thought it was about the journey, not the destination."
"Our journey starts in the Wild Area, and we're not there yet."
"It won't be much of a journey if you wear yourself out before we get there."
Gloria scoffed but settled into a gentle pace beside Bede, still smiling. The dirt path crunched beneath their feet, the sounds of happy Wooloo and Dubwool filling the air, as they walked the short distance between Postwick and Wedgehurst. Each step Gloria took had an excited bounce to it. Her ponytail swished back and forth like the tail of a trotting Mudbray and Bede bit back a smirk at that thought.
"It's nice to see you in that jacket again," Gloria commented, smiling at his large magenta coat. "Feels like it's been ages since I've seen you wear it."
Bede shrugged, ignoring how warm he felt under her gaze. "I didn't put that much thought into wearing it, if you must know. It just happens to be the thickest jacket I own, and the Wild Area has unpredictable weather."
"I know." She smiled at him, the corner of her eyes crinkling. "But I've always liked it."
A fuzzy bead of warmth lodged in Bede's chest. He had to force himself to remember that she was talking about his jacket, and not him. He absently hitched the collar higher. He studied her out of the corner of his eyes, taking in the way her skin seemed to shine in the morning light, the bright streaks of gold in her brown hair, the speckles of honey in her eyes. She wore less pink than usual, settling on darker, muted colours for their trip. Dark blue denim shorts frayed at her mid-thigh, a thick jacket keeping off the morning chill. She wore her usual black boots but had changed her backpack out for a larger, tattered brown one.
Her fringe blew gently in the breeze around her face, and Bede caught a glimmer of silver on her earlobe.
"You pierced your ears," he noted, almost freezing on the spot when he realised he'd said that aloud and not in his head.
Gloria dimpled, reaching up to twiddle the small silver loop. "I got them done a few weeks ago. I thought it'd make me look a bit more mature, now that I'm Champion."
The earrings sparkled in the light and Bede swallowed his comment that she looked plenty mature regardless, unwilling to let that sliver of honesty out just yet. Over the many months they'd known each other, Gloria had already matured. The light in her eyes was less innocent and naive, becoming more steadfast and determined. She walked with confident strides, shyed less around strangers. She spoke her mind with more confidence, trusted herself - and her Pokemon - in her battles and her life.
She'd grown her long brown hair out from the messy bob she'd had during their Challenge, letting it fall past her shoulders. The only part of her that hadn't changed at all was her height. Bede had been half a head taller than her when they'd first met and now he could easily rest his chin on top of her head if he wished.
She'd probably make the most adorable and amusing squawk if he did.
-
They chatted aimlessly on the way to Wedgehurst, the sun rising slowly, sitting at a low angle when they finally arrived at the station. The late autumn air was brisk and sharp, and Bede shoved his hands into his pockets. He eyed Gloria's bare legs incredulously, wondering how she wasn't feeling the cold. They sat on a bench just outside the station, basking in the sunlight as they waited for the train to arrive. Gloria stretched out lazily, slumping at an angle that couldn't be comfortable for her neck. Her feet tapped absently.
Bede opened his mouth to speak when two young women approached. Their eyes sparkled excitedly.
"Are you Gym Leader Bede?" one of them asked. She had thick, unruly hair tied into pigtails, giving him a wide, eager smile.
Bede straightened into a more respectable posture, wiping the disinterest from his face and managing a smile. "Yes, that's correct."
They both squealed in glee. The other girl, with dusty blonde hair chopped short, clung to her friend's sleeve. "Is it true that you give autographs now? Can you sign our League Cards?" She thrust out a copy of Bede's Rare League Card towards him, a black marker sitting on top. Her friend did the same.
Bede took the cards, and the marker, and gave them a refreshing smile. "Of course," he said, swallowing the bile rising up his throat at how sugary he sounded. He capped off the pen, neatly signing the two cards before handing them back.
"I can't believe we ran into you in Wedgehurst!" the pigtailed girl exclaimed. "We are so lucky!"
"I know!" the blonde echoed. "Oh, can I ask you a few questions? Is that alright?"
Bede managed to maintain his smile. "Sure. Go right ahead."
Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Gloria shove her hat further down over her face. Her arms folded stiffly across her chest.
"I heard that you're going to take over Ballonlea's theatre as well! Is that true?" the blonde asked. "Are you going to perform too? Or just direct the plays?"
"Oh, yes! I've heard there's going to be a production of Romeo and Juliet - are you going to play Romeo? Who's going to star in it? Do you need any more actresses? We could totally play a part!"
Bede blanched slightly, recovering quickly from their onslaught of questions. "Ms Opal doesn't have any plans to retire from the theatre at the moment," he said calmly despite his growing irritation.
"Are you dating the Champion?" the pigtailed girl asked, making Bede's heart catch painfully in his throat. "Everyone says you've got a thing for her!"
"Is it true she rejected you? You confessed to her during the finals, right? Does that mean you're still single?"
Gloria scoffed harshly, silencing the rapid fire question from the two girls. They turned to face her, biting irritation twisting their smiles into scowls. Bede blinked in shock.
"What kind of questions are those?" she huffed, straightening so she sat upright again. The cap hung low on her head, casting a shadow over her eyes. "That's none of your business."
"No one asked you," the blonde spat.
"Ignore her," the other girl said. "Just look at her, wearing the Fairy Gym hat. What a total wannabe. Obsessed enough to think she'll get his attention by dressing in his merch, Arceus!" She laughed, her friend joining in to cackle at Gloria.
Something dark flashed in Gloria's eyes. A trepid tingle shot down Bede's spine. He knew that look all too well, knew what it meant. He stiffened where he sat, deciding that he wasn't going to get involved with this, not when Gloria had clearly decided to fight back.
Gloria's laughter silenced the two younger girls. She tossed a Pokeball in her hand, spinning it with each throw. "How about this - you two beat me in a battle, and I'll clear off. I win, you get the fuck out of here."
Bede stifled a choked gasp. He'd never heard Gloria swear like that before, never more than a whispered curse beneath her breath, and definitely not burning with acidic vitriol like that.
"As if," the blonde laughed. "We don't have to battle you."
"Two-on-one," Gloria said. "Both of you against my Cinderace. One Pokemon each."
The girls exchanged glances, overconfident grins building on their faces before they laughed.
"Oh, you're on!" the pigtailed girl said. They hadn't noticed the dangerous flash in Gloria's eyes. The cutting edge to her sharp smile.
A cold shiver trickled down Bede's spine. His heart skittered warmly in his chest, making him suddenly breathless.
Gloria drew off the bench smoothly, standing tall despite her meager height, and tossed her Pokeball. Cinderace appeared from the wash of light, bouncing on his toes.
"All right, Cinderace. Let's show them what we've got," Gloria said. She nodded to Cinderace pointedly, her Pokemon catching the hidden meaning to the blaze in her eyes with a quick trill in response.
Cinderace. She'd said Cinderace, not Fyrian. Deliberately chose not to use the nickname that would label her as the Champion.
Bede's blood thrummed in his veins. She was more cunning than he thought.
The two fans of Bede grinned at each other as they put a short distance between them and Gloria, readying their own Pokemon. They threw their Pokeballs out, sending out a Drednaw and a Pelipper.
Water types. Bede steeled himself, trying not to show interest in the battle, to reveal the anxious clenching of his heart despite knowing this was Gloria, that a type-advantage meant nothing against her. He clenched his hands into fists, still buried deep in his pockets.
There was a viperous edge to Gloria's smile, a menacing edge to her grin. An overwhelming confidence erupted in her eyes. Cinderace shifted his stance, paws digging into the dirt, his expression echoing his trainer's.
Neither opponent noticed, or cared, about the absence of fear in Gloria or Cinderace. It would be their downfall.
The two naive trainers saw Gloria's inaction as weakness and took the moment to strike. Drednaw flung hefty boulders at Cinderace, digging rocks from the earth with the solid horn on its head and launching them. The rocks shattered on impact with Cinderace arms braced in front of him. A spray of dust and earth clouded Cinderace. Pelipper spurted a torrent of water through the dust cloud. Another boulder launched. It shattered with a flash of heat and fire. The dust settled. The air cleared, and Cinderace stood tall. A fine layer of dirt caked his arms but he remained strong without a scratch. Unphased and unharmed.
"Now!" Gloria called.
Cinderace launched into the air. The trainers gasped, Drednaw struggling to follow the upward trajectory that Cinderace took with a single bound. Pelipper dove to the side with a cry. Drednaw's trainer called for him to dodge, but the slow moving Pokemon could only shuffle and scramble before Cinderace began to fall.
The impact rumbled through the ground. Earth sprayed into the air, Cinderace and Drednaw disappearing into the thick cloud. Pelipper cried in a panic, fluttering above the growing cloud with anxious beats of its wings. A ball of fire shot from the cloud. It slammed into Pelipper's left wing and the Flying type dropped from the sky. Cinderace leapt from the dust, swiping a blazing kick at Pelipper's side with a flurry of fire and feathers.
Cinderace landed cleanly on both feet. A second later, Pelipper crashed to the ground, its wing and belly charred and black with soot. The dust settled behind them, Drednaw collapsed in the dirt. A stiff silence fell. The wind carried the stench of soot and dirt, swirling Pelipper's lost feathers into the air.
Gloria angled her head with a haughty smile. She walked over to Cinderace, giving her Pokemon a nod of approval, before returning him. Her gaze snapped to the two gawking trainers. They flinched, quickly recalling their fainted and wounded Pokemon. Gloria stode past them, picking up her bag off the floor by the bench. She smiled at Bede. He stole the owlish look off his face.
"Let's go," she said sweetly, but the sharp edge to her smile remained. "Our train's here."
Bede collected his bag and followed her into the station, feeling the flabbergasted stares of the two trainers bore into his back.
-
Gloria remained silent as Bede took a seat opposite her, nestling his bag under the table between them. She looked out the window at the station wall. A cloudy glaze fell over her eyes, distant and impassive, and she rested her cheek in her hand, elbow propped on the table.
A strange mood had overtaken her, and Bede didn't know whether to try to soothe it or not. The fire in her eyes had completely doused, not a cinder remaining. His heart skipped uneasily, sinking heavily into his gut.
"Do you regret thrashing them so completely?" Bede asked. He sat back, trying to remain casual and unperturbed when Gloria slid her eyes over to him. "It might do them some good to taste defeat once in a while. Arceus knows they deserved it."
"I knew them."
Bede's heart slowed to a stop. She looked away. Memories he couldn't read, couldn't discern, flickered and shifted behind her eyes, fading too fast to detect the emotions they stirred.
"They didn't appear to recognise you," Bede noted.
The corner of Gloria's lips twisted sourly for a fraction of a second. "Of course they didn't. Why would they, when they spent our whole childhood teasing and bullying me, avoiding me and taunting me, as if they didn't spend every waking moment making my life miserable."
Her brow twitched, a scowl forming and fading quickly. "They probably don't even remember… I know they don't. Why else would they rock up to my house the other day asking for me, for us to 'catch up.'" Gloria punctuated that with a gesture of inverted commas with her fingers. "If I'd been home then, I would've given them a piece or two of my mind, that's for sure."
"I don't doubt that." Bede folded his arms loosely over his chest, trying to gauge Gloria's mood, trying to work out how best to proceed. She'd never really opened up much about her past, only in fractions and pieces over time. She'd gone through a lot more than Bede had realised. Ostracized and isolated, an experience he knew all too well.
"When we were kids it was always Leon-this, Leon-that. Now I guess they've moved on to you."
She stared blankly out the window as the train began to move. The brick wall became a blur of stone, the rumbling and clattering of the train filling the silence for a moment.
"Guess I'm only interesting to them now that I'm Champion. Finally worthy of their attention instead of insults." She huffed sharply, then sighed and stretched. "It felt good to thrash them like that, though. They didn't even know who I was. Oh, I should've told them at the end; can you imagine the look on their faces?" Her laughter calmed the tense air, a smile finally reaching her face.
"That would have been fairly amusing, I'm sure," Bede agreed. "Though, I'm more surprised about hearing you swear like that earlier. You're usually quite careful about your reputation as Champion."
"Oh, that…" she laughed sheepishly. "I guess it kinda slipped out. I only tend to swear when I'm really upset or angry."
"You've never sworn at me."
She blinked at him. "Why would I do that? I've never been that mad at you."
"You seemed plenty mad after our first battle, back in Galar Mine."
Bede clearly remembered the sharp blade of her glare, the tight cut of her jaw when she winced in pain, the crimson blood blooming on her shoulder where her confused Snorunt's Ice Shard had struck her.
"Oh, that." Gloria nodded slowly as she remembered. "Did I look mad? I was trying so hard not to cry from the shock of it all. And it hurt like hell." She laughed briefly, a short breath of reminiscence.
"I never asked about it," Bede realised. "Was it bad?"
Gloria rolled her shoulder. "Not really. It bled a lot, sure, and left a funky scar, but it didn't need stitches or anything. Although I had a huge bruise over the spot for a full week afterwards!"
Bede didn't know how she could make light of something like that. How she could smile and laugh about the wound on her arm, about the scar her Snorunt had left on her skin. How she could brush it off like it was water trickling over her shoulders and not blood that had stained her dress.
"Yuki was so sorry about it too! She wouldn't use Ice Shard at all for days afterwards!" Gloria chuckled lightly. "I hadn't even thought to be mad at Yuki, or you. I was more frustrated at myself. I hadn't noticed how distressed Yuki was, that she was confused and that I made her continue fighting."
Gloria's smile faded, becoming doleful and soft. Memories of pain and regret danced behind her eyes. She looked out the window as the train edited the tunnel, a rush of light and trees streaming past.
"I'm sure she doesn't hold it against you," Bede said. "From what I've seen, all your Pokemon trust you immensely."
Light returned to her eyes as she smiled at him. "Thanks, Bede."
Those simple words fluttered his heart. He snatched his gaze away to the window, to the scenery rushing past in a blur of colours. The stammering of his heart made it difficult to breathe but it wasn't uncomfortable in the slightest. It was fuzzy and warm, a pooling of heat on his cheeks. Like her smile was the sun, warming him with its mere presence. Like he was a sunflower, following her as she swept across the endless sky. His eyes drew back to her like a magnet, again and again, as they fell into an amicable silence.
A full week.
Bede wasn't sure if his heart could last that long at this rate.
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ellewritesathing · 4 years
Text
So Close - S.S. XIX
Summary: The universe has a funny way of putting the things you want right in front of you, but just out of reach. Stiles and Y/N have been best friends ever since Scott brought him home, but when Stiles realizes that he might want to be something other than best friends, she leaves to go to some fancy private school up North. Now that she’s back though … maybe he’s got a shot? A Teen Wolf AU in which the reader has always been so close to Stiles and yet so far.
Prologue - S2E1 Part 1 - S2E2 + S2E3 Part 2 - S2E4 + S2E5 + S2E6 Part 3 -  S2E7 +S2E8 Part 4 - S2E9 + S2E10 Part 5 - S2E11 + S2E12 Part 6 Part 7 - S3AE1 Part 8 - S3AE2 + S3AE3 Part 9 - S3AE4 Part 10 - S3AE5 + S3AE6 Part 11 - S3AE7 + S3AE8 Part 12 - S3AE9 + S3AE10 + S3AE11 Part 13 - S3AE11 + S3AE12 Part 14 Part 15 - S3BE1 + S3BE2 Part 16 - S3BE3 + S3BE4 Part 17 - S3BE5 + S3BE6 Part 18 - S3BE7 + S3BE8 + S3BE9 Part 19 -  S3BE10 +  S3BE11
Word-count: 4.4k+
A/N: i’ve been working on season four the past few days and it’s genuinely funny how little i remember of anything post-season three. also should i just link to the masterlist instead of listing all the parts above? 
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You were still kneeling over Derek when Scott came in. Only, you didn’t know that it was him and Kira, so the moment you noticed the movement you threw one of the knives at his head. Kira caught it just in time. 
“Woah,” Scott exhaled, still staring at the knife in Kira’s hand. “What happened?” 
“They disappeared,” Allison answered. “They literally just vanished.” 
“Yeah, and so did Stiles,” you said. You stood up and held a hand out to Derek. He winced as you helped him up and you noticed how bad the gash on his shoulder looked. “Hey, you okay?” 
“It’ll heal,” he said briskly. “We need a new plan. Now.”
The five of you explained what happened to Scott and Kira, and they told you about Kira’s mom and the army medic, Rhys. She’d created the nogitsune. Her own mark for vendetta. You stayed with Derek after everyone else left and helped him set up his chessboard to mimic the one the nogitsune had left. 
“And what are the two of you doing?” Peter asked. “More importantly, Derek, why aren’t you healing?” 
“It’s from one of their swords. It’ll heal,” Derek said
“And we’re trying to set up a board like the one in Stiles’ room,” you said. “I used to play with him when we were younger so I know his moves but this is … different.” 
“Of course it’s going to be different when he’s playing without rules,” Peter said, rolling his eyes as he did.
“What does that mean?” Derek asked. 
“You’re dealing with the kind of spirit that’s lived too long to play by human rules,” Peter explained. “It’s a fox spirit that chose to become human. And supposedly, that’s something they can do only after about a hundred years.” 
You looked up at Derek. That would explain why the nogitsune in Stiles was such a piece of work; it had time to perfect the art of being an ass.
“Besides,” Peter continued as he put on his jacket, “Chess is Stiles’ game. It’s not the game of a Japanese fox.” 
You stayed up with Derek a little while longer and helped him clean up his wound. When you were done, he told you to go home and get some sleep. You argued but eventually he got his way. You ran into Cora and Isaac when you were heading to the elevators. 
“Isaac!” You beamed up at him before pulling him into a hug. “I didn’t know they released you. How are you feeling?” 
“Like a whole new man,” he said. You laughed but there was a glint in his eye that you didn’t recognize. 
“That’s great. I’m really happy for you,” you said, shoving your hesitance away. You were just being paranoid because of Stiles. “And now Cora can sleep on something that’s not a waiting room bench.” 
Cora didn’t laugh at your joke, but she gave you a similar half-smile. Maybe they were just tired. 
“Okay, well, see you around,” you said before stepping into the elevator. 
Isaac waved at you slowly as the doors closed and Cora just kept giving you a blank stare. 
---
“The couch. Put him on the couch,” Scott said as he and Aiden carried Stiles’ body in. 
You’d been coming up with a plan in Scott’s room for most of the morning when Lydia called. She sounded crazed, but she swore that she and Aiden found Stiles’ body and he was freezing. They thought he was dead. 
“Guys, this is crazy,” Melissa said. “He needs to be in the hospital.”
“Mom, do you remember what happened the last time he went to the hospital?” Scott asked.
Deaton pulled up Stiles’ shirt slightly. He had a new cut across his lower stomach, and for a second you thought it was still the one you gave him and that it just didn’t heal. Deaton raised the shirt a bit higher and you saw that yours had already scarred over. 
“It doesn’t look like he’s bleeding,” he said. “I think he might ever be healing.” 
“You mean healing like we heal?” Aiden asked. 
“He’s got to,” you said. You pointed your scar. “He got that a few days ago when I stabbed him.” 
“You stabbed him?” Scott asked. 
“He attacked me, remember?” you said, very carefully leaving out the kiss. You got flustered and stepped back. “Besides, that’s not the point. What does it mean if he’s healing like them?”
“It’s good for him,” Deaton started, “I’m not so sure if it’s good for us.”
“I think we should kill him,” Aiden said. “He’s knocked out. We could end this.” 
“No!” practically everyone in the room snapped at him. 
“Well, if we’re not gonna kill him then why aren’t we at least tying him down with really big chains?” he asked. 
“I might have something more effective,” Deaton said as he opened his medical bag. 
He pulled out a very familiar glass bottle and motioned for Scott and Aiden to hold Stiles down and open his mouth. When they did, he moved closer and started pouring the clear liquid out of the dropper and down his throat. 
Stiles started thrashing almost immediately. He grabbed Aiden’s hand before reaching for his neck. Your throat burned in response as you watched Aiden yell for someone to get Stiles off of him. 
“Kanima venom,” Stiles said, his shaking hand lowering to his side. He looked over at you. “Nice touch.”
Aiden started growling and moving in on Stiles, partially shifting in the process. 
“You know they say that twins get a feeling when the other one’s in pain?” Stiles asked. “You didn’t lose that talent, too, did you?” 
Aiden stopped. 
“Oh, I hope not. You’re going to need it,” Stiles continued. Aiden looked over at Scott. “Okay, I’ll give a little hint: Ethan’s at the school.”
“Go,” Scott told him. 
That was all the encouragement Aiden needed. Stiles laughed as he left, rolling his back to rest on the couch. 
“Oh, I hope he gets there in time,” Stiles said. “I like the twins.” 
“Yeah, you might be the only one,” you mumbled, looking gown to gather yourself. 
Stiles turned his back and looked at you. “But you like Isaac, right? Oh, and, uh, what’s her name again? Cora?” 
“Scott-” you started cautiously. He nodded at you and you took off after Aiden, grabbing the car keys off the counter. 
“Have fun!” 
---
When you pulled into the school parking lot, Allison was running inside. You ran to catch up with her. “Hey, what are you doing here?” you asked. 
“Some of my equipment’s missing and the trackers say it’s here,” she said. “What are you doing here?” 
“I think Isaac and Cora are going to kill the twins,” you said. 
“Oh.” She stopped for a second and looked at you before nodding. “That’s probably more important than a missing stun gun, right?” 
“Depends on who you ask.”
When you managed to find them, Cora and Isaac were closing in on Kira. What was she doing here? You didn’t have time to ask. Allison hit Isaac with the crossbow and he stumbled a few feet back. Cora growled and moved closer so you threw a knife at her to keep her at bay. 
The twins started waking up as Isaac started getting back on his feet. As they stepped forwards, all three of them were shifting. It was almost menacing enough to distract from Cora circling around the back. 
“This probably isn’t good for us,” you said as you, Allison, and Kira started taking steps backward. As soon as you could, you pushed them into Coach’s office and slammed the door behind you. They shoved the desk up against the door. 
“Was that a good idea?” Kira asked, looking panicked. 
“Probably not,” Allison answered. 
You watched Cora and Isaac turn on the twins. For a moment it was roaring and heavy breathing but then they lashed out. It was going to be a bloodbath.
“They’re not gonna kill each other, are they?” Kira asked. 
“Cora will rip them apart before she lets them get close to Isaac,” you said. 
“Didn’t she end up hospitalized when she fought one of them?” Allison asked. 
“That was when they were alphas,” you said, taking out the electricized nightstick and pulling it out to its full length. “But we need to stop this before it gets to that.” 
The three of you left Coach’s office and into the hallway, getting ready to go into the locker room through the hallway doors. The plan was for you and Kira to go in through one, and for Allison to cover you from the other. 
“And, guys, remember, try not to kill them,” Allison said before placing a hand on the door. 
“I was just going to try to stay alive,” Kira said. 
“That works, too,” you said, opening the door and rushing in. 
Allison shot each of the twins and Kira started fighting with Cora. That left you with one very angry Isaac. 
“Okay, buddy, I need you to know I’m sorry about this,” you said as he stepped closer. He threw his hand out to slash your face and you ducked, thrusting the nightstick up and listening to crackling noise as it made contact with him. He let out a yelping noise and you whacked him with it again, but it was enough for Cora to forgot all about Kira and start in on you.
“Allison, bow!” you yelled. She threw you the crossbow and you tossed Kira the nightstick. You shot arrow after arrow into Cora but she kept coming closer. Eventually, you, Kira, and Allison ended up back to back, all with weapons that weren’t your specialty. 
But somehow you managed to subdue the wolves; Kira taking out Cora and you and Allison each taking out a twin. You called Deaton as soon as it was over and he told you about what happened to Stiles. 
The nogitsune split them and took Lydia with him. 
You dragged all of the werewolves into the shower and started running the water like he said, and when Deaton got there he started extracting the flies from them. It looked painful and made you sick. He shut off the water when he was done. 
“Are they okay now?” you asked. You were holding Isaac close to your chest, arms around his shoulders. He used one hand to hold your arms and the other to hold onto Cora. 
“I hope so,” Deaton answered. “The part that’s worrisome is that this was most likely just a distraction for what was happening to Stiles.”
“There’s really two of them now?” Kira asked, biting her lip. 
“How is that even possible?” Allison asked. “And how did the other one just take Lydia?”
“We turned around and they were gone.” Deaton shook his head. “So was her car.” 
“We can track her car,” you said. “It’s part of her insurance package.” 
“They’ve most likely gotten rid of it by now,” Deaton said. “But I’m sure Sheriff Stilinski is handling it.”
“Hold on, how do you know which Stiles is which?” Kira asked. 
“That’s what they’re trying to figure out now,” Deaton said. 
You looked at Deaton for a second before figuring it out. When you did, you rushed out of there with Kira and sped back to your house. If they were really bringing the oni forth, they could kill him. They would kill him. And you knew it was irrational because that meant the real Stiles was safe somewhere else but … but what if he wasn’t? What if they killed him because some part of the nogitsune was left behind? Like a shadow? 
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” you asked when you and Kira got into the house, glaring at anyone who was brave enough to make eye contact with you. 
“It’s okay,” Stiles said gently, holding a hand out to get you to stop. “I’m the one who asked her to come.” 
“You’re the one who’s going to get stabbed with swords,” Kira corrected. “Mom, don’t do this to him.” 
“It is already done,” Mrs. Yukimura said. Stiles started walking towards her slowly.
“Stiles-” you caught his wrist. He was freezing. “Please don’t do this.” 
“You of all people know that I’ve gotta do this,” he said. “If I’m me, I’ll be fine. Promise. Go stand with Scott.”
The oni appeared and your argument died on your lips. He stepped away from you and they grabbed him, making those horrible clicking noises. When they were done, Stiles fell to the floor and you dropped down to cradle him. 
“Look behind his ear,” Kira’s mom said. 
You did. A backward five, just like yours.
“It worked,” Scott said breathlessly. 
“So, I’m actually me?” Stiles asked. You felt close to crying, but he looked like he was going to any minute now. 
“More you than nogitsune,” Mrs. Yukimura answered. 
“Can the Oni find him?” 
“Tomorrow night. It’s too close to dawn now,” she said.
Stiles scrunched up his face before taking a shaky breath. “Can they kill him?” 
“It depends on how strong he is,” she said. Her input was remarkably unhelpful.
“What about Lydia?” Scott asked. “Why would he take her?” 
“He would only take her for an advantage,” Mrs. Yukimura said. “The power of a banshee.”
“That’s not really making me feel better,” you said with a sigh. Absentmindedly, you ran a hand through Stiles’ hair. He was still so close. 
She smiled at you. “You can take comfort knowing that this will be over soon.” 
--- 
You didn’t speak as Scott drove the three of you to the station. All you did was sit in the back and look at the side of Stiles’ face. It was really him. And he looked genuinely worried about going to meet his dad. 
“Now, if only I could find my keys,” Noah mumbled to himself. 
“In your coffee cup,” Stiles said from the door. You and Scott were just behind him, holding worried hands. “You always drop them in your empty cup.”
It took Noah a second to get over his shock before he ran out from behind his desk and wrapped his son in a hug. Stiles met him halfway. They spoke quietly for a few seconds and you watched Scott walk past them to get to Noah’s desk. 
“Is it over?” Noah asked. 
Scott picked up Noah’s keys from his coffee cup and closed his hand around them. “Not yet.”
Scott told Noah about what happened with Stiles and the nogitsune, and how he kidnapped Lydia after the split. You sat on the couch and fussed with the bottom of your sleeves. Noah put an APB out on Lydia’s car. 
“Isn’t there anything else that we can do?” Scott asked. 
“At this hour?” Noah asked before taking a breath. “No, not really.” 
“He took her for a reason, Dad,” Stiles said. “Look, if we can figure out the why, maybe we can figure out the where.” 
“Okay,” Noah said. He looked over his shoulder. “What would a nogitsune need with a banshee?” 
“I don’t know. Lydia’s pretty good at finding dead bodies. Maybe he needs to find a body?” Stiles looked at Scott to see what he thought. 
“Scott, you know more about this than all of us,” Noah said. 
“Me?” 
“You said you got the whole story from Noshiko,” Noah said. 
“Yeah, but that happened during World War II,” Scott said, sounding confused. “Like seventy years ago.” 
“Wait, what did you say?” Stiles asked. You looked up at him, recognizing the lilt in his voice. 
“Noshiko told me about the internment camp-”
“No, no, no. Before that.” Stiles looked at his dad. “You said ‘the whole story?’”
“Yeah,” you said slowly, getting up to move closer to them. “What’s wrong?”
“There’s a girl at Eichen House. Her name’s Meredith,” Stiles explained. “I think she might be able to help.” 
Noah got Parrish to get Eichen House on the phone and ask about Meredith. When he came back with the news, he said that she’d been moved to the closed unit because of behavioral issues. She wouldn’t stop screaming. 
Noah said that he’d go collect Meredith if the three of you promised to wait for him in his office. You did, and it was the most awkward time you’d ever spent with Scott and Stiles. You were all quiet until Scott got up to find something to drink. You immediately said that you’d go with him. 
“Actually, uh, Y/N, would you mind staying?” Stiles asked. He was sitting on Noah’s desk. 
You bit your lip and looked at Scott. He nodded at you. “I guess not.” 
“Thanks,” he said quietly. He took a deep breath when Scott closed the door behind him. “Are we … ever going to talk about it?” 
The kiss, before or after the MRI? The attack? You weren’t sure. “Talk about what?” 
“Well, uh, before all this … you kissed me,” he said. Oh. “And I think you asked me out when your mom sedated me.” 
“Stiles, I-” 
He lifted up a hand and you fell silent, pulling away slightly. He dropped his hand. 
“You’re afraid of me?” he whispered.
“Stiles, I know it wasn’t you,” you said, taking steps forward. “I- I don’t know why I’m still acting like this. You and me, we’re-” 
“Different now,” he said, looking down. You’d reached your hands out for his face while you spoke, but stopped just short when he said it was different. “It’s okay. I get it.”
You didn’t know what to say. 
“You wanted to go get something to drink?” he asked. “There should be something in the fridge in the break room.” 
You bit your lip as you got up and headed for the door. You stopped with your hand on the doorknob. “I meant what I said before,” you said softly. You looked him in the eyes. “When this is all over … you’re taking me out on a real date. Okay?”
Stiles nodded and looked down again. You didn’t wait to listen if he said anything else.
---
Stiles was asleep on the couch and you and Scott were taking turns watching over him. It was still your turn, but you needed to do something other than stare at his sleeping face, so you were making tea. You started listening carefully when they started talking. Stiles was in a lot of pain, having nightmares, and he was freezing. 
“Hey, Y/N!” Scott called. 
The sudden noise made you drop the teaspoon you were holding. “Yeah?” 
“Meredith’s at the school,” he said. “Stiles and I are going to talk to her. You coming?” 
You picked up your spoon and set it on the counter. “Yeah, of course.”
The people from Eichen House were already there when the three of you got to the school. You rushed inside to find Kira and look for Meredith, and when you did you also found Coach standing over a newly tazed nurse telling you to get Meredith out of there. 
You and Stiles each took one of Meredith’s arms and the five of you ran out, piling back into the Jeep. Kira left somewhere between running out of the school and getting in the Jeep, but you tried not to focus on it as you sat in the back with Meredith. 
“Okay-” Stiles took a breath “-Where’s Lydia?” 
“Who’s Lydia?” Meredith asked.  
You looked over at Scott and then to Stiles. “Lydia’s our friend. She- she went missing-” 
“She was kidnapped.” 
“-And we were hoping you knew how to find her,” you finished. 
“I don’t know where Lydia is,” Meredith said. 
“Okay.” Stiles turned around and started the Jeep. “Good talk.” 
He drove kind of erratically back to the house and you rushed Meredith inside when he stopped. You came to a sudden stop when you saw your dad and Isaac together, and Stiles didn’t see in time so he stumbled into your back. Instinctively, you reached for each other’s hands to steady yourselves, but when you realized what you were doing, you pulled away. 
“What are you doing here?” Scott asked, not noticing that you were having an internal crisis. 
“I could ask you the same thing,” Rafael said. 
“Actually, no. You see, we actually live here,” you said, waving your hand around as you did. 
“And- and we’ve got a free period.” Stiles rushed out that part, covering your snark with an easily bought lie. “We’re doing a group study.”
“And who’s she?” Rafael asked, nodding to Meredith. 
“She’s my girlfriend.” Stiles put an arm around Meredith, and you didn’t know if she was more shocked or if you were. 
“You’re not my type,” Meredith said hesitantly. 
You tried not to laugh. You didn’t look at Isaac because you knew you would lose what little composure you had left if you did.
“Well, obviously we have a lot to talk about,” Stiles said. He looked between her and you. “We should maybe take this upstairs?” 
Meredith, however, was only looking at Isaac. She pointed to him. “He’s my type.”
“It’s the curls, right?” you asked. No one answered but Meredith nodded along solemnly, which was the only confirmation you needed.  
“Okay. Isaac, you can come, too,” Stiles said eventually. 
You slipped your hand in Isaac’s and followed them to the stairs. As you hoped, Scott mumbling about an explanation distracted Rafael enough for him to not ask you to stay. When you got to your room, you shut the door behind you. Stiles was trying to tell Meredith about Lydia again and Isaac was standing apprehensively near him. 
“Lydia?” Meredith asked. “You mean the red-haired girl?”
“Yes! Yes! Good. Progress!” Stiles stopped hitting his fists together and concentrated on Meredith again. “Now, all you’ve got to do is tell us where she is.” 
“Okay,” Meredith said with a small smile. You relaxed before she added, “If she tells me.”
“If she tells you?” Isaac repeated. Meredith nodded. “Well, can you ask her?”
Meredith seemed proud when she answered, “I already did.”
“Meredith, that’s great!” you smiled. You would have touched her shoulder if you didn’t think she’d freak at the unfamiliar affection. “What did she say?” 
“She said she doesn’t want to be found,” Meredith said. 
You looked behind Stiles to Isaac. Did she really just say that? Judging by his face, she did. What were you supposed to do now?
Stiles started hitting his fists together again. “Great.”
You pulled on his jacket slightly and nodded your head to the other side of the room. He and Isaac followed you and you started discussing a plan. 
“I’m just saying-” 
“Isaac, we’re not going to torture her,” Stiles said. 
“I meant scare her,” Isaac argued. 
“What if you kissed her?” you asked. They stared at you. “I’ve heard it’s great for panic attacks and you’re her type.” 
“Did you forget that Cora would literally kill me if I kissed another girl?” he asked. 
“We’re not going to psychologically torture her either!” Stiles whispered fiercely at you. 
“Fine. How about this? You said she hears things, right?” Isaac asked. “Doesn’t that mean she’s like Lydia? A banshee?”
You looked at Meredith sitting on the bed. It was kind of hard to believe that she had anything in common with Lydia, but it made sense. You watched Isaac and Stiles try their new plan of attack, and it was going monumentally bad. Until Meredith asked about the phone. 
When she pulled it away from her ear, she said, “They say ‘coup de foudre.’”
“Coup de what?” Stiles asked. “What is that - Spanish?” 
“French.” You looked up at Scott in the doorway. “It’s French.”
---
As always, Scott and Stiles were in the front of the Jeep as you drove to Eichen House, but at least this time you were in the back with Isaac. He let you hold his hand and trace patterns over the top to calm down. 
“Hey, you okay?” Scott asked Stiles. 
“Yeah,” he said. It sounded like a lie. “Yeah, you don’t have to worry about me.”
“Alright, I’ll say it.” Isaac leaned forward and sighed as he spoke. “You look like you’re dying.” 
You smacked his arm. “Isaac!” 
He ignored you and went on, “You’re pale, thin, and you look like you’re getting worse. And we’re all sitting here thinking it. So when we find the other you, is he gonna look like he’s getting better?”
“What happens if he gets hurt?” Scott asked. 
“You mean if he dies, do I die?” Stiles asked. “I don’t care. Just so long as no else dies because of me. I remember everything I did, Scott. I remember pushing that sword into you. I remember strangling Y/N.” 
“You didn’t strangle me,” you said. “That wasn’t you.” 
“Yeah, but I remember it,” Stiles said. “So you guys have gotta promise me: You can’t let anyone get hurt because of me.”
You didn’t say anything. Isaac looked like he’d already made up his mind - he’d kill fake Stiles even if it meant killing real Stiles. Scott was more difficult to read. He didn’t want to hurt Stiles but you knew he wanted to end this. 
Stiles killed the Jeep when you reached the gates and you climbed out to meet Kira, Allison, and Cora. They all seemed just as nervous as you felt. You looked over at Scott for some encouragement. 
“We’ve done this before, guys,” he said. “A couple of weeks ago we were standing around just like this and we saved Malia, remember? That was a total stranger. This is Lydia.”
“I’m here to save my best friend,” Allison said. She’d made up her mind about rescuing Lydia. 
“I came to save mine,” Scott agreed. 
“I just didn’t feel like doing homework,” Isaac said as he started walking through the gates. 
“Okay, see, this is why no one else likes you,” you said, following after him. He shot you a lazy smile over his shoulder, melting your annoyance slightly. 
Scott and Stiles went to find Lydia; you and the others went to confront Noshiko and the Oni. It was hard to concentrate on what they were saying. You were trying to figure out how you were going to stop unkillable demons with throwing knives and an electrified baton. Turns out you didn’t have to worry, though, because they disappeared. 
“Where did they go?” you asked. Noshiko looked pained. She unfurled her hand and revealed a firefly that had been turned to dust. “What does that mean?” 
“It means there’s been a change in ownership,” Stiles said. “Now they belong to me.” 
As horrifying as it was seeing him flanked by six oni, it was good to know that the fake Stiles looked as sickly and pale as your Stiles. Maybe you’d get lucky and he’d pass out and this would all be over. What was that saying about wishful thinking, again?
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tessabltheorist · 4 years
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Fitch, Red, the Cabal, the fulcrum & the missing bubble module.
A lot of fans complain that things that were important, suddenly disappear. A sinkhole of plots, or a magician disappearing a rabbit in a hat? Will the cabal come back, and if it does, what do we know about them, Fitch, the fulcrum, and Red/RR?
As far as the cabal was concerned, Red had the fulcrum and a death switch that would expose them, if he was killed. Kotsiopolus never believed it, but the rest did. That kept Red alive. Apparently neither Kotsiopolus, nor the rest of the members had ever set eyes on that object, judging by his way of looking at it when Liz dumped it in his office.
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The Director looking at the fulcrum in 1.20
None of them knew it had four parts, all necessary for it to work, and none knew Alan Fitch was holding one of them, the cypher, in the form of how to contact Leonard Caul. The other pieces were dispersed.
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the four pieces: key, interface, bubble module and cypherthext
Red knew by 2013 where two of them were, one, with Pepper who lived in Maddox Beck's compound, and one stored in a secret, unreported compartment in Justin Kenyon's compound; but he had very limited knowledge on the whereabouts of the missing piece, only that Liz was the only one who knew where it was. He had no idea about the cypher text.
The group believes I have it. It's one of the reasons I'm still alive.
The bubble module looked like a cufflink, and was wrapped in bubble wrap. It had been pushed inside Liz's stuffed rabbit, which Kate had mended, and had dropped at Sam's on her way to disappearing, about the time Katarina staged her Cape May "suicide"; likely stuck by Sam in the attic or basement, to prevent Liz from remembering the fire as much as he could.
The four pieces suggest there were four co-conspirators which all had to agree to use the fulcrum.
A. The key - tied to the energy industry. Pepper had a secret she did not want her boyfriend, involved in eco-terrorism, to know. I suspect it was a stolen item from her father, and that her father was involved in the oil and energy business. Remember how Anneca had got inside the USSR to exploit oil even before 1989?
It started before the Wall fell. Uzbekistan was still a constituent republic of the Soviet Union. Mr. Gorbachev was changing our future. I was allowed to secretly open our markets for an American pipeline.
B. The cypher, written by Leonard Caul (former CIA). Kept by Alan Fitch, in intelligence.
Fitch was Assistant Director of National intelligence, a post usually held by an active or retired military intelligence officer, and he was buried in Arlington. We can conclude Alan Fitch was retired military intelligence.
C. The interface in a presidential limo, political power.
Such a plan would actually require some political backing, diverting of slush funds to get inside the USSR, to gain influence, to buy loyalties. And it is likely someone close to the US President at the time of the cabal's creation (1985) was aware of this plan.
D. The bubble module, which looked like a cufflink, containing the images and data. Who would have held this element? We had political, economic and intelligence powers. Who could have yielded the fourth one?
Some of the names on that list, people, they're CEOs, Defense contractors, intelligence officers from China, India, all over the world
In appearances, Fitch was an enemy of Red, in a truce because Red had damming evidence. In reality Fitch had been lying about Red's ability to release the fulcrum, with the object of protecting Red: "I've been able to hold everyone off, convince them that it's in their best interests to let you live." His last breath is to tell Red how to read and release the fulcrum: "Listen to me, Ray. This is critical. I have a safe. Get to it...."
During seasons 1 and 2 we learned the cabal had factions. One followed Fitch, (the conservatives) and the other followed Peter Kotsiopulos, the Director of Clandestine Services of the CIA. In season 3 we learned of a higher echelon, located in Bonn, which we haven't seen at all: "But if you don't and our friends in Bonn learn of your insubordination, I don't think they're gonna be very pleased."
Lukas Reiter wrote a formal letter explaining the cabal's objectives:
The CABAL was engaged in a global conspiracy to bring about the fall of the Soviet Union. The players agreed that, once the Soviet Union was dismantled, the world would enter a 25 year period of instability, allowing the group to profit from the political and economic uncertainty that followed. Afterward, the world would return to a Cold War posture, with the two opposing super-powers restored.  See it in its entirety.
The 25 years ended in 2017. That was the plan, that in 2017 the world would go back to a bipolar world. Peter considered the world was unstable and he wanted to advance the plan to 2015. Alan was holding him back, apparently, wanting to stick to the original plan.
What is interesting though, is what Red believed the fulcrum to be: "a blackmail file -- proof of the existence of an extraordinarily powerful clandestine organization. If their activities were made public, some of the most powerful and influential men would go to prison or be executed."
Red calls it a blackmail file, but, was that what it was? I do not think so. Red himself did not know what it contained,  "That data's over 25 years old. Much of it must be obsolete."
A blackmail file contains information to make someone do as the blackmailer wants. What the fulcrum turned out to be, is a detailed account of the early activities of the cabal, by the time it was recorded, sometime in late 1989 or 1990. "proof of the existence of an extraordinarily powerful clandestine organization." In it were the names of the delegations, the people involved in it”:
I'm sure you recognize many of the faces behind me. They are among the most powerful men and women on the planet. They are also part of a global conspiracy, a shadow organization that spans across every continent and has for the last three decades, consisting of leaders in world government and the private sector. Some call this group "The Cabal."
What the fulcrum did when released in 2015 was to weaken the cabal: "I don't know why you want this. The organization's in disarray. Weaker than it's ever been," but then Red also told Liz about how much the cabal has grown in influence, by showing her the map in 3.11:
The Cabal is in green. Their affiliates are in red. Their competition is in blue. Since I've been a fugitive, the pestilence on this map has only grown. This is what we're up against-- a multi-headed hydra. You cut off one head, it grows two others, you have to cut off every head and burn the rest of it. It's a mythic battle, and it's not anywhere close to being over.
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What the fulcrum released in 2015 accomplished would not have been what it would have done in, say 1995. Four years or even 10 years after the end of the USSR, the cabal had not got as powerful and big as it did 25 years later. In 1995, it would have ended the cabal. In 2015, it merely weakened it.
So, why did Alan Fitch created such an object? Not blackmail. He and his co-conspirators created an object that could end the very organization he had created. It seems to me it accomplished Fitch controlling when it would be dismantled. So, regardless of what it seemed, to me, Fitch never intended to return to a Cold War stance.
And THAT makes sense of why would he be protecting Red, making the others think Red could release some file that would expose them, a file none of them had seen. A file none of them knew Red could not read or release without Fitch's help.
THAT was the true nature of the relationship of Fitch and Red. Apparently, enemies in a truce because of compromising information Red had; in reality allies trying to hold off a return to the Cold War by finding the fulcrum. That explains why they had under the radar communications. We witnessed two of them.
A flower arrangement sends Alan in the middle of a sentence straight to meet Red, when Berlin is out to kill him:
MOROZOV: Fitch. His name is Alan Fitch.
RED: Milos, this you cannot do.
BERLIN: Give me one reason.
RED: Because he's mine.
BERLIN: Yours? He gave the orders, discredited you, and you want to protect him?
RED: This is not for you to do.
BERLIN: But I will. Alan Fitch is dead.
...
RED TO DEMBE: Call The Florist.
Alan telling Red that the task force is a target sends Red, still with blood on his face to a pay phone to warn Liz to get everyone off the street.
FITCH TO RED: You know, every time we have one of these little talks, I wonder if it'll be our last. But when I consider the odds, I usually figure you'll come out fine. This time I'm not so sure. You and your task force are now targets. Good luck, Ray.
... [Red escapes from the car by crashing it, using his handcuffs to choke the driver]
RED TO LIZ: Lizzy. Listen to me. You're in danger. Everyone on the task force is a target.... There'll be time to explain later. For now, pull everyone back. You are all in danger.
The factions spied on one another. When meeting in that club, or in the abandoned black site Garrick takes Red to, they are never sure they are not been overhead. The only time in which they are completely in private is when they meet in the Post Office and the power is shut down. So, what could we say of the other times?
How about the Garrick incursion? Did Alan Fitch organized that little thing? Or could that had been done by the other faction, or instigated by the other faction, leaving Fitch little chance of declining without advertising he was an ally and not an enemy?
The way the blueprints were given to Garrick was through Diane Fowler, who authorized a "security upgrade", but the person who signed the order was Meera Malik. Meera was a then a second level patsy, the first one was the fake account and fake payment created for Aram Mojtabai as Louis Cougan (sounds familiar?)
But Meera had spent her life in the CIA as a covert agent. Covert agents fall under the Clandestine Service, of which Peter Kotsiopulos was the Director.
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from the Elizabeth Keen's dossier
So, it is very likely Meera Malik had been placed inside the Task Force by Diane Fowler, as instructed by Peter Kotsiopulos. Knowingly or unknowingly, Meera was a spy for the Director. Shelve this for a later post. It is important.
So, if Peter is who pushed for the Garrick incursion, likely to send a message, or to test if Fitch and Red were really secret allies, then Fitch had to play the role. And in that light, look at what Fitch does and say. The first thing he does is tell Garrick to get Red down, stop the torture: "All right, that's enough. Let him down. Come on. Get him a chair."
He says he is representing people who are nervous about Red surrendering to the FBI, "The people I represent, they're they're nervous. We don't know what to think.", a way of telling Red that he is acting on the cabal's behalf.
Says out loud that Red HAS the fulcrum: "We know what you have, Ray. And we know what'll happen to it if you turn up dead. So we do nothing. We let you live. And in exchange, we we trust that our secret remains secret." Remember that Fitch knows Red cannot use the fulcrum even if he had found all the other pieces. So this is just for show.
He ends by reminding Red: "Because I've always liked you, Ray. You're a pain in my neck, but I like you." This tell us the relationship goes way back. Three people call Red "Ray". Alan Fitch, Robert Vesco and Dr. Maltz.
What is interesting to me is, did Fitch know the information about the whereabouts of the bubble module resided in Liz's suppressed memories from before she was 5 years old? Because one thing that distinguished Liz was the burn mark on her wrist, and THAT day, Liz was almost killed by Garrick. But THAT day, Liz had cut her hand getting out of the elevator, and her hand was bandaged. So, if Fitch had specified not to harm the girl with the burn mark, Garrick could not know it was Liz.
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Liz's scarred hand was bandaged.
But we learned other things in that first encounter and in subsequent others:  "Hello, Ray. It's been, what twenty years." This tells us a lot. Alan knows Red well, and has a familiarity with him. The writers make a point that in every meeting they have, Red calls Fitch "Alan", and Alan calls Red "Ray". Alan in private, talks to Red about his wife Margaret.
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from the graphic novel The Gambler.
And after he dies, in the graphic novel, Red sits by Alan's Arlington's fresh grave, holding a photo of Liz graduating from Quantico, and says:
When I was young, I had a neighbor who used to grow the most delicious grapes in her front yard. Mrs. Wolkowitz. A delightful bovine woman. She hated me. Her grapes were these perfect aqueous spheres. They glistened in the sun, tasted like Summer. I couldn't resist. I stole a handful every morning. Mrs. Wolkowitz chasing after me: "Come back here you criminal."
But I always thought I's get caught before you did, Alan. There is no fun outliving all your friends. The world keep round around you but it's emptier. I do miss our talks. I still had so many questions, and, to your credit, you left me some answers, but not enough. Everything we never talked about, everything I could've learned from you, it still haunts me.
I'm a fast runner Alan, but I will get caught one day, "abyssus abyssum invocat." And when I do, what am I leaving behind? Any answers? Or just questions?
Compare what he tells Red when "they" could be listening: "We know what you have, Ray. And we know what'll happen to it if you turn up dead."as opposed to what he tells Red when he is in private, about to die: "I've been able to hold everyone off, convince them that it's in their best interests to let you live."
I do not think we can dismiss this. So, what to make of that remarkable phone call? Let me review it from a previous post:
Fitch identifies Katarina by name: "Agent Rostova, I told you to eliminate him."
Katarina freely identifies herself as a double agent, a cabal operative, and states her role in stealing the Gideon coordinates and framing RR: "Reddington knows. He knows everything.... He's discovered my identity. And the existence of the Cabal.... if we discredit him... The intelligence I stole, we leak that it came from him. No one will believe him after that. Not with the blood of 134 Americans on his hands.... Because he has proof that the Cabal exists, proof that would be released in the event of his death."
Fitch openly gives an assassination order of an innocent US Naval officer: "Eliminate him.... Agent Rostova, I told you to eliminate him....I want this mess cleaned up. Get rid of him or ruin him. Just get it done by Christmas."
Katarina discloses that her daughter is RR's daughter: “He took Masha.... I love his daughter. My daughter.”
The cabal's existence is confirmed, and the fact that RR has the fulcrum and a death switch is openly discussed: "He's discovered my identity. And the existence of the Cabal.... he has proof that the Cabal exists, proof that would be released in the event of his death."
This entire conversation, on an unsecured line, with no code words, using real names, and a seasoned intelligence official giving an assassination order of a US Naval Intelligence officer and being part of a shadow organization? That call was staged, and its object was to:
Exonerate RR from the treason charge in the future.
Admit there was a cabal, and that Fitch and Katarina were part of it.
State whose child was that was stolen by RR, so said child would not be returned to Constantin Rostov, her legal father.
Now, let us examine the reason Peter sends Braxton to the Factory, a plan that had started 2 months prior to the events of 2.09/10: "The CIA announced his death two months ago. We say that about a lot of the inmates at The Factory."
So Braxton had been hired just about the time Fitch died. He knew about "the house, the fire, the girl". Peter's objective was to either find the fulcrum, or by drawing Red in to stop him, prove he did not have it.
Cabal member: So Reddington does not have it.
PETER: I never believed he did, actually, and his efforts to stop Braxton only confirmed my suspicions.
When Braxton realizes that Liz is the girl in that fire: he takes Liz and extracts information. But Peter is following Braxton closely, so he realizes that Liz is Katarina's Rostova's child, and begins enquiries about her, by sending Connolly's men to Velov to inquire about her: "Sometime back, two men from Justice Department come and ask me about Katarina. I suppose they think I am one of the few people left who still remember the old stories.... They were asking about her KGB contacts, where she lived, and about a child." And he decides to incorporate Liz into his plan to restore the Cold War.
In 1990, when this bubble module went missing, the fulcrum ceased to be operative. All that was needed to destroy its usefulness was that Fitch destroyed his cypher, or the key or interface. Or Fitch could have made another one, right?
Unless, unseen by all, the bubble memory module contained more information that Red or Caul knew to extract, and Liz left that module in Peter's office. Or part of what was in it, something we did not see was not replaceable, such as a recording of a meeting, etc.
Because we know and Fitch knew Reddington had no death switch, because he could not read the thing. But why had Peter sent Braxton to the Factory armed with knowledge about a house, a fire and a girl? What was in that intelligence node that identified the location of the fulcrum, or who knew where it was? The location, owner or occupants of the house of the fire, or the real identities of the people involved in it, including Katarina, whoever had Liz, Red (who admits being there).
Red knew that they key to finding the fulcrum was in Liz's memories. Liz was "the girl" who was there the night of the fire. But the house had burned to the ground. Whatever was there was destroyed. Had the fulcrum been there, it would have been destroyed.
So, Liz's knowledge was not about what had happened at the fire, because that would have been simple. The people who left were carrying nothing, except Liz. And nobody thought to find that toy, or Red would have asked Sam, and found it years earlier. So, nobody suspected the fulcrum to be in that house. That means it was not put there by the man who puts Liz in the closet. This is going back to when the fulcrum was missing.
The man in the memories says IT is keeping him alive.
Woman: They'll kill you if you don't give it back.
Man: They'll kill me if I do.
Liz as the man: The Fulcrum.... Man: is the only thing keeping me alive.
But what if he never had it. What if the person who took the fulcrum was Liz. Liz the thief, sees a shiny object and steals it, hiding it in the toy. The adults in the room blame each other. Everyone assumes Reddington did, and he has to go along because he thinks it protects him.
And then Red sends Liz to Krilov. By the time they realized what happened, her memory is gone.
Was the fire we know about, in Rehoboth beach in 1991 the real fire? I think not "the real Raymond Reddington died in 1991."
Or was that fire, also in a beach, a cover fire. Why is the location of that house and that fire a mystery? And why is Kotsiopulos sending Braxton to find information about the fire and the house?
Because it gave him who was "the girl"? If so, the information in that intelligence node gave him the connection between Katarina and Sam, a connection so well hidden it was never found in over 20 years. A connection likely hidden in Katarina's real identity. And likely, equally hidden, was Red's real identity, an identity that also linked him to Sam.
A connection that might expose a giant charade. "You were the architect of this charade." One involving Katarina, Ilya, Dom, and Red.
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soveryanon · 5 years
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Reviewing time for MAG147 X_X/
- We already knew that Annabelle was interested in stories – she was “the Story Spinner” in MAG123, had Gregory Cox instal a website to fish out what were basically statements. And her statement in itself feels a bit like a… crafted story, in-universe? It’s explicitly addressed to Jon, meant to be read by Jon, and it contained so many details reminiscent of Jon’s own infancy: both lived near the sea (Hunstanton/Bournemouth); both were raised by a female figure who didn’t hide her resentment (Annabelle’s mother for having to take care of a large family, Jon’s grandmother for having to take care of her son’s son); Annabelle tried to run away and Jon used to “explore” too far to the point of being brought back by the police; Annabelle left her home with a book (Five Go Down to the Sea) while Jon had been led outside by one (A Guest for Mr. Spider); both encountered The Web as kids and were presumably led to fit in Her scheme later on in their lives as young adults… but with enough nuances and straight-out differences (Annabelle coming from a large family while Jon was a single child without a close family, etc.) to clearly set them apart. This passage, especially, felt especially Dedicated To Jon?
(MAG147, Annabelle Cane) “The air was warm and humid as I snuck out of the house, filled with that slight smell of salt that even now… changed as I am… I still sometimes find myself missing here, in the grimy air of London.”
And what to think of the ~coincidence~ of Annabelle, future Web avatar, growing up in a family of eight children, having a distant mother – while her present Patron is referred as Mother-of-Puppets? Was it a genuine story, or a hybrid creation crafted from various other stories with threads interwoven to form other patterns? Annabelle herself raised the possibility, in a terrifying way (“Or perhaps I am simply telling you what you need to hear, in order to behave exactly as the Mother wishes you to. [STATIC, GRADUALLY INCREASING] Perhaps… I have never even seen a beach.”), and, indeed. Annabelle could be unreliable – we know that statement-givers can conceal information if they want:
(MAG121) OLIVER: And about two years before I came to your Institute, something happened – something I didn’t want to talk about. Didn’t even want to think about. I… [SIGH] I started to see them when I was awake. […] Even when I went to your Institute, tried to warn her, I could see them crawling through the corridors towards the Archives.
(“Lying” is a different matter – can you write a lie when making a statement, or would it work as long as you think/are convinced that an event took place a certain way? We’ve had an example, with MAG015, of events being objectively different from the way the statement-giver described them (“Take her, not me”). But with Annabelle… yeah, absolutely no idea if we’re to take what she said at face-value or not.)
And interestingly, I… don’t feel like we learned anything at all about Annabelle Cane’s actions or history: because she didn’t cover at all the parts of her avatar life that we had heard of. She barely scratched the surface of her transformation, with enough doubt to wonder if she had been led there or if it was a coincidence (something she highlighted, as she said that her experience as a kid “is what engendered in me that terror of spiders which eventually led to my volunteering at Surrey University” but it had been stated in MAG069 that… she hadn’t been told that the experiment was about arachnophobia), didn’t say a word about Neil Lagorio, nor what she was planning with the website in 2015. We only know that she has plans. She is. Terrifying.
- What she said about:
(MAG147, Annabelle Cane) “The Mother is the fear of manipulation and lost control made manifest. So perhaps it is our fear that projects Her influence on everything that happens. Like the mind, retrospectively assigning reason to our actions, so we fit whatever occurs into the neatest pattern we can, and declare Her web both intricate… and complete.”
indeed fits a LOT with the pattern we have seen of avatars reminiscing on the events that led them to their current life. Jude had insisted on her “burn-out”; Mike rationalised that he had always been a bit fascinated by falling, hence going for The Vast; Oliver described it precisely too:
(MAG121) OLIVER: I still remember the first time I tried to touch one. In my dreams, the night before, I had found my way back to my own street. I don’t know why I did it. I knew it was a stupid thing to do, walking past my own home in a dream, but I just– … Maybe I wanted it this way, I mean… when I stepped out the building that morning, I… didn’t turn towards the bus stop like I always do. I turned right instead, walked over to the little alleyway where I knew, some time in the next week, a young woman was… going to have a fatal aneurysm. […] So, I did some digging. Found the identity of a few crew members and started to track them down. I told myself that I didn’t know what I was looking for, but I did. Of course I did. […] I had never felt anything as cold as those veins. It was so… hm, patient. It… made me think of those winter mornings, when I was a kid, with no snow; just… frost and frozen mist over everything. Keeping the world in place, curling you up into yourself and… quietly waiting for you to lose your footing, to slip up and fall. Snap.
Annabelle herself insisted on the idea of control and manipulation when she was a kid, and Jon… Jon had insisted on the curiosity for novelty and on seeing. But if he had been touched, let’s say, by The Lonely, would he have retroactively described his exact same childhood as one of isolation, without any meaningful connection…?
- … I feel so stupid to have just assumed, all this time, that somehow, all Web avatars had to be interconnected to their patron, aware of the Big Plans? Because it was The Web and duh? But nop, apparently, Annabelle doesn’t know about The Web’s intentions (… if it has any “intention”, as Gertrude had questioned MAG145) – she could be lying but. Not Knowing What Your Patron Wants Of You seems to be a recurring thing in season 4, Jon had lamented about it in MAG145 too (which. was. worrisome.).
But Annabelle has her own plans, at the very least, and they apparently involve Jon:
(MAG147, Annabelle Cane) “I’m afraid I don’t actually have these answers for you; I’ve simply been… watching. I’m sure you understand that. Maybe I’ve occasionally been nudging something here and there to keep you safe, to keep everything on track.”
… which does NOT make her an ally, what the flying fuck JON:
(MAG147) ARCHIVIST: So, she is… watching the Institute. Interfering with things. … [HUFF] Is that reassuring, or… really, really bad…? I can’t say I’m… [HUFF] I can’t say I’m sad to have another ally allegedly on our side, but I don’t like the idea of being important to The Web. … That’s a really bad place to be…
(Especially since he had mentioned he was… ready to get into danger or to die if it means saving someone – Annabelle’s comment seems to give credit to the idea that she was the one who sent Martin to put the tapes around the coffin to get Jon back? So if she needs Jon alive, and especially given the current situation… that’s Bad, actually…?)
(- I’m… astonished that Jon didn’t get into a paranoia fit about The Web’s ritual, then? Since he has no information whatsoever about it, and had been researching about rituals until then. The Web making a move should make him think of the possibility…? Unless he has already accessed a few of Martin’s tapes? Unless he “knows” the content of the recording? (… But given that Annabelle and The Web are not the same thing, I do wonder if it’s not possible to have an avatar trying to bring its patron’s ritual to completion despite said patron not being overly interested in theory…? We’ve had the reverse case, with Jared refusing to participate in The Last Feast, after all…))
(- So, that “nudging”: it strengthens the idea that she was indeed the one who sent Martin helping Jon to get out of the coffin?
(MAG134) PETER: What does puzzle me, though, and I mean that genuinely, is… why you were piling tape recorders onto the coffin, while Jon was in there. [PAUSE] It’s a question, Martin, it’s– it’s not an accusation. MARTIN: I don’t know. And I just… felt like it might help. He’s always recording, I thought… it–it might help him… find his way out. PETER: Interesting. Were you compelled? MARTIN: [SULLEN] … I don’t know. … M–maybe? I–I, I definitely wanted to do it… PETER: But? MARTIN: I’m… I’m not sure where the idea came from. PETER: You should watch out for that. Could be something dangerous. MARTIN: Sure.
(MAG135) ELIAS: I needed a way to force him to harness his ability more acutely than he had before. The coffin was a useful tool; Daisy an adequate bait. BASIRA: Then you messed up. Way he tells it, he doesn’t know how he got out of there. ELIAS: But he did. And his powers were no small part of it. Even if he required some assistance, they were what saved him. And he’s still achieved what no one – mortal, monster, or anything in-between – has ever been able to. He climbed out of The Buried.
1°) Peter Doesn’t Like It
2°) Elias Absolutely Doesn’t Mind It
Elias, that’s the 100th time this season, but what DO YOU KNOW about the spiders in your Institute…)
(- There were so many mentions of watching/seeing in Annabelle’s statement, and she did acknowledge Jon’s confusion over what is coming from The Eye and what could come from The Web… so there is still That Thing again. With the confirmation that Smirke had been extremely arbitrary and couldn’t stand to acknowledge the possibility that he might have been wrong in his “architecture”, it seems that “An infinite amorphous blob of terror bleeding out in every direction at once.” still remains The Most Accurate description of the Fears.)
- That… was such a powerful move…
(MAG147) ARCHIVIST: … You hear that? BASIRA: No, I, I don’t hear– ARCHIVIST: Shh, shh! MELANIE: Yes. Room on the left…! ARCHIVIST’S RECORDED VOICE FROM MAG001: “an organisation dedicated to–” DAISY: Is that…? ARCHIVIST: Yes…. ARCHIVIST’S RECORDED VOICE FROM MAG001: “–academic research into the esoteric, and the paranormal.” BASIRA: Don’t touch it. ARCHIVIST’S RECORDED VOICE FROM MAG001: “The head of the Institute–” ARCHIVIST: No. ARCHIVIST’S RECORDED VOICE FROM MAG001: “–Mr Elias Bouchard–” ARCHIVIST: It’s alright. [BREATHING DEEPER] [FOOTSTEPS] ARCHIVIST’S RECORDED VOICE FROM MAG001: “–has employed me to replace the previous Head Archivist, one Gertrude Robinson, who has recently passed away.” ARCHIVIST: [EXHALE] [THE TAPE IS STOPPED.] DAISY: Something underneath it. ARCHIVIST: I see it. Uh, hand me that brush? [RUFFLING SOUND] BASIRA: Is… that what I think it is? ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] Yeah. [RUSTLING PAPER] Official Institute paper, and everything. BASIRA: Goddamnit…! ARCHIVIST: “Statement of Annabelle Cane.” … She left it for us.
1°) She knew that the assistants were going to The Web’s stronghold for the first time, and she left things that had been taken out from the Institute, The Eye’s stronghold as messages. Meaning she has indeed full access to the Institute and the Archives.
2°) Leaving. A statement. As a gift. Nobody had asked and she left it.
3°) MAG001’s tape, meaning Jon’s whole debut as an unwilling servant of The Eye, potentially meaning that she had been watching all along…
4°) Throwing us into the past, too: because it was the old Jon, pretending he didn’t believe in the supernatural – the Jon who hid and dissimulated (just like he did again with the people he attacked for their statements)… because he was afraid, because he thought that acknowledging them would mean catching their attention. We get to hear this Jon, again, and it’s such. A blow. And a reminder that Jon has been doing that again lately.
(5°) … and they arrived just when Elias was mentioned on the tape, so *squints* Is it because it was just the beginning of the tape, or an invitation to go request Explanations&Answers from that fucker.)
- Same, HHHH that power move of beginning the statement with
(MAG147, Annabelle Cane) ““Free will” is a funny old thing – isn’t it, Jon? Can I call you Jon? I’m going to call you Jon.”
… when she revealed a few lines later that she perfectly knew that Jon couldn’t stop reading. So he couldn’t answer anyway because it was an indirect message, but he was forced to read the question and Annabelle’s unilateral decision without being able to agree or protest anyway, and she perfectly knew it. Hhhhh.
(Also, the question was reminiscent of Nikola’s own “Can I call you Elias?” during Jon’s kidnapping&sequestration, and ahahaha, that. Might have been even more triggery for Jon, uh.)
(Aaaand both Oliver, agent of Death, and Annabelle, agent of Web, jumped to a first-name basis with Jon while he was in no position to allow or refuse them – in a “coma” with Oliver, and under compulsion-to-read with Annabelle.
(MAG121) OLIVER: Hum… Hello, Jon. Do you… m–mind if I call you Jon? I… I mean. You don’t actually know me, it’s just… well. “Archivist”, it’s so… formal, isn’t it? And I do kind of know you…? […] The thing is, Jon, right now, you have a choice.
Annabelle and Oliver are definitely kinda-friends, uh.)
(- And the voiceswitch was ABSOLUTELY DELIGHTFUL. Terrifying and wow. Jon felt like someone else, even more than usual.)
- Obligatory squintsquintsquint because:
(MAG147, Annabelle Cane) “I discovered a deep and enduring talent inside myself… for lying. My manipulations were not intricate – but they were far beyond what was expected of a child my age, and I have always believed that the key to controlling people… is to ensure that they always under, or overestimate you. Never reveal your true abilities or plans.”
………… is kinda reminiscent of Martin:
(MAG117) MARTIN: These last couple of years, I’ve always been... running, always hiding, caught in someone else’s trap, but… but now it’s my trap. And, well. I think it will work. I know, I know it’s not exactly intricate, but… it felt good, weaving my own little web. OH, oh Christ, I hope Jon doesn’t actually listen to these. “Good lord, is Martin becoming some sort of spider person?” No, Jon, it’s an expression, chill out. Besides, spiders are fine. I mean, yes, people are scared of them, obviously, but actual spiders, they just… want to help you out with flies!
(And Elias had described his own ability as “weaving” too. And Jon did wonder, in MAG145, if he wasn’t mostly just plainly good at bullshitting. If there are two people we tend to over/under-estimate, it would be Elias and Martin, who both “love manipulating people!”…)
- Obligatory laugh that:
(MAG147, Annabelle Cane) “With any other animal, we talk about “instinct”, we talk about “training”, perhaps if we have spent enough time with them… we talk about “personality”. But we never talk about choice. We never look at a dog racing wildly after a thrown ball and think “What an odd decision that dog has made!”. We talk about the workings of its mind, and its instincts; if it doesn’t chase the ball, we wonder why: is it sick? Is it tired? Perhaps something in the nature of this particular breed, this particular dog, makes it prone to ignoring a game of fetch. The idea of a dog simply… choosing not to chase feels deeply unnatural. Is it even capable of legitimately making a decision? Some would say no.”
Hey, Annabelle. You don’t know cats, uh. And you’re talking to a cat-lover. (Well. A love of The Admiral, at the very least. Who had decided it was time for belly rubs before electing to go on with his day, back in MAG093, in typical cat behaviour.)
- Constant soft static while they were at Hill Top Road, so there is definitely Something Wrong with the place. (However, there was none when Jon read the statement, so did they stop at an inn, or where they back at the Institute already?)
Ivo Lensik had given his statement about Hill Top Road in March 2007, and Jon had mentioned in his follow-up that:
(MAG008) ARCHIVIST: Two families have lived in the house since this statement was originally made but no further manifestations have been reported on Hill Top Road.
Plus, there was Anya Villette’s statement from April 2014 (MAG114), which mentioned:
(MAG114, Anya Villette) “The owners of the house had already filled it with furniture. Not good furniture, of course: just the cheapest IKEA had that wouldn’t collapse under the weight of a textbook. It was all assembled, though […]. It opened to reveal stairs going down into a basement. Nobody had mentioned a basement. Not when they gave me the job, not on the floor plan they’d given me; I’d had absolutely no idea it was there.”
(Anya also mentioned “thick sheets of white plastic, to try and keep the dust off” over the furniture and the fact that she had woken up “in one of the chairs, the dust cover clinging to me like a cocoon”: it sounds a lot like spider web, but she had been able to identify cobwebs as such when trying to reach the basement. So? Is it because The Web’s presence was stronger down there…? Her confusion about things still sounds like textbook Spiral to me, though we learned, since then, that there is the “scar in reality” so… what the heck was happening with Anya.)
By contrast:
(MAG147) MELANIE: When did you say they finished rebuilding? ARCHIVIST: 2008? MELANIE: Hm! ARCHIVIST: Doesn’t look like anyone ever… moved in, though. BASIRA: So this is… ten years of cobwebs? DAISY: More than that. [FOOTSTEPS.] MELANIE: [INHALE] No, I’m sure this is just the normal number of webs that grow up organically…! […] DAISY: Clear. [SHUT THE DOOR.] Looks like nothing downstairs. BASIRA: You wanna… take a moment, before we head up? ARCHIVIST: What about the basement? DAISY: Can’t see one. ARCHIVIST: Huh… DAISY: You want me to take point? ARCHIVIST: Uh… no – no, I’ve, I’ve got it.
So there are Too Many Cobwebs, it looks unoccupied although there used to be furniture, and we still (don’t) have a Schrödinger basement. GREAT.
(And bonus: Annabelle doesn’t want Jon to go there again – or at least, for now.)
- Jon The Tired Young Old Man is back, once again, and it’s been His Season To Shine:
(MAG123) ARCHIVIST: Everything’s changed. … [SIGH] Two days out of a coma, and I’m already tired.
(MAG128) ARCHIVIST: [WEAKLY] Statement… ends. [COLLAPSES] [CLICK.]
(MAG131) MELANIE: You’re going now? ARCHIVIST: [NERVOUS BREATHLESS LAUGHTER] [HISS OF PAIN] No. … No, now, I am going for a lay down. That was… that was not what I’d expected. MELANIE: Come on. You can use Basira’s cot.
(MAG137) ARCHIVIST: Everyone else is… running towards something, or running away, and I… [SIGH] I don’t know what I’m doing. [PAUSE] [SIGH] I’m just tired. Think I might go lie down for a while. Get a cup of tea [HUFF]
(MAG140) BASIRA: You look awful. You tried drinking with Daisy again last night? […] ARCHIVIST: [SLURRING] It’s not a hangover. Well, not… [INHALE] I wasn’t drinking. [SIGH] […] Yesterday, I tried something I… [INHALE] I–I deliberately tried to… Know something, like I did in the coffin, but… there was a lot. Too much [SIGH], and I… […] You drink the whole contents of a bar in three seconds, you don’t remember what the merlot tasted like. [SIGH] It just… hurt.
(MAG145) ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] … We’ve been back in London for just over a week, now. I’m… more or less recovered physically. It’s just this nagging sense of unease that won’t leave me.
(MAG147) BASIRA: Jon, focus. Are you getting any “sense” of anything? Can you… “see” anything? ARCHIVIST: No, I’m just… seeing what you’re seeing. Still a bit… weak from my trip North, to be honest. MELANIE: Sorry we couldn’t stop for a snack…! [SHARED SNORTS.] ARCHIVIST: [SIGH]
(MAG147) ARCHIVIST: This one really took it out of me. [CLEARER] I need to go lie down…! … E–end recording. [CLICK.]
………………………… except that, given His Pattern, and the mention that he hadn’t absolutely recovered from the Dark trip……………….. it probably means he “needs” a new victim to get fully rested. I. Really. Hope. That the girls will keep a close eye on him, uh…
- The Dasira shines… in small but significant ways… and how they like to throw jokes around Jon in tense situations…
(MAG143) BASIRA: [SIGH] Eyes peeled. [SILENCE] ARCHIVIST: … Was that a joke? BASIRA: Yeah.
(MAG147) BASIRA: So, where are all the spiders? MELANIE: Ah– I mean, they, they hide. You know, it’s a thing they do, spiders – they hide. DAISY: Perhaps they… bugged out. [FOOTSTEPS.] ARCHIVIST: [WHISPERS] … Was that a joke? BASIRA: Jon, focus.
(Not “bugs” technically, Daisy – Martin would be Offended about it!) I love how both Basira&Daisy are unapologetic about it, how it always takes Jon a moment to realise what Was Just Said, how he used the same tone to ask-what-he-already-knows (this is why people like Melanie like to say you don’t have a sense of humour, Jon.), and how… Basira was the one to demand he go back on track in the last one, instead of Daisy.
- My heart cried a bit about the girls throwing jokes because… yeah, it’s how Team Archives tends to deal with dire situations – and it was… really reminiscent of The Unknowing expedition, with TIM’S JOKES ABOUT THE WAXWORKS orz
(MAG118) TIM: And anyways, it’s not like we're alone in here. Look. There’s Prince Charles. [GROANING] TIM: Oh, if he’d been in an accident. Or the Beatles! If they’d all been in separate accidents, like, like Ringo was in a horrible fire, or Paul was in a car crash, that’s a classic– ARCHIVIST: Yes, Tim. I remember them. The waxworks are… bad. […] BASIRA: So would you say this was supposed to be Churchill or Alfred Hitchcock? ARCHIVIST: Jowls like that, could be either.
(MAG147) ARCHIVIST: No, I’m just… seeing what you’re seeing. Still a bit… weak from my trip North, to be honest. MELANIE: Sorry we couldn’t stop for a snack…! [SHARED SNORTS.] ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] […] BASIRA: These flares going to work? DAISY: No idea, but… Jon said The Web doesn’t get on great with fire, and we don’t exactly have a flamethrower, so… BASIRA: I mean, at least until we find the one Gertrude stocked [?? unintelligible, Daisy snorting too hard]. DAISY: [SNORT] BASIRA: Right next to the nukes…! […] ARCHIVIST: Well… [SIGH] We’re here now. Might as well push on. MELANIE: … Famous last words. [HUMOROUS EXHALES.]
It’s the same team, minus Tim, plus Melanie…
(Also, the reminder that Gertrude was all about fireweapons… Elias had taunted Leitner about “arson”, and he was positively seething when Martin had begun to burn statements, soooo… really, was Gertrude’s plan to deal with The Eye to burn down the Institute.)
- I’m sad that Melanie doesn’t get a nickname…
(MAG146) DAISY: [SIGH] Come on, Mel. I’ll see if I’ve got a stab vest in your size. MELANIE: … Yeah. Sure.
(MAG147) DAISY: Here, Mel. MELANIE: What even are these? DAISY: Magnesium flares. Technically not legal anymore; if you need more, just shout. MELANIE: Oh? Hum. Fine. [INHALE] Uh, and… and, please, don’t… call me “Mel”. DAISY: What? Since when? MELANIE: Always. I’m… [SIGH] trying to be more… o–open about this… stuff. DAISY: Roger Wilco, Miss King. MELANIE: Mm! Better.
… but I’m SO glad that:
1°) she has trouble, but clearly expressed that she didn’t like it. Worded her discomfort. Tried to fix something that was bothering her and directly impacting her. It’s hard, but she’s doing it.
2°) I’m so glad that Daisy immediately corrected herself, acknowledged it and didn’t even ask for a reason why Melanie didn’t like it. Melanie doesn’t like it, end of story, no fuss.
So no nickname for Melanie, but Daisy and Melanie sound even closer and good together!! ;w;
- Overall, GUUUUH, I’m. So proud of Melanie??? She’s been doing so much better!
(MAG123) BASIRA: Yeah. I did warn you. She’s not, uh… she’s not been having a good time. ARCHIVIST: Mm! Yeah, I did get that impression. [SIGH] Elias is gone. I thought… I mean, wasn’t that supposed to be… it? But she’s still… BASIRA: It’s not that simple. ARCHIVIST: She needs help, Basira. God, it didn’t even get that bad when I was… … Even Tim never threatened me. Not like that.
(MAG125) BASIRA: Oh, yeah, the stuff she takes is pretty strong these days. She should be out for a while. … What? Sleep is hard.
(MAG127) ARCHIVIST: Do–do you think it worked? Is she… BASIRA: I don’t know. She seems more… coherent, I guess. And you did get an apology. ARCHIVIST: Yeah. BASIRA: She said she can cry now, which is, hum… ARCHIVIST: Oh… BASIRA: Progress, I think? ARCHIVIST: Uh… BASIRA: She’s still angry but, she hasn’t attacked anyone. Not even sure she has it in her anymore. ARCHIVIST: Well that’s, that’s good! BASIRA: Hm.
(MAG131) ARCHIVIST: A–at least, it’s out! … Maybe… maybe it’s enough to start healing, start… letting go of the anger. MELANIE: Oh, just stop! Just stop and– listen. ARCHIVIST: Okay. MELANIE: Yes, the, the bullet was bad, right. But it didn’t make me angry. Anger is… Anger’s been all I’ve had for a long time. Years. Maybe since– oh, I, I don’t know, but…! Everything I’ve done, everything I’ve pushed for, was because I was angry! Angry of being past over, being disrespected, ignored… that sort of anger, it, it powers you! … Right until it slips out, and hurts someone. I – hurt someone. And then, one day, I suddenly have this thing that takes all that rage, and it holds it. Tells me it’s right. That it’s me. It didn’t stay in my leg because of some Ghostly Masterplan; it stayed… because I wanted it. ARCHIVIST: … Shit. MELANIE: Yes.
(MAG136) ARCHIVIST: If you don’t mind me asking, [STATIC:] where are you off to…? MELANIE: Therapy. [STATIC ENDS] … Wait. ARCHIVIST: Oh…! Oh, God, Melanie, I’m, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, uh… MELANIE: [EXASPERATED SIGH] It’s fine. I would probably have told you eventually, anyway. ARCHIVIST: Even so, I shouldn’t have– MELANIE: Just… forget it. [SILENCE] ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] It’s good, though. I–I’m glad you’re getting help. MELANIE: Yes, well. We’ll see. There’s a… a lot of crap therapists out there. ARCHIVIST: I guess. Still, it–it is a good step. MELANIE: I suppose. ARCHIVIST: You want to tell them the truth? MELANIE: I don’t know! It’s all a bit… [SIGH] Y’know? Er… C… can we drop it. ARCHIVIST: Of course.
(MAG139) ARCHIVIST: The others are doing… better, I think. Basira’s busy doing research for something secretive, unsurprisingly. But she seems to be adjusting to, uh… the new Daisy. I actually like Daisy now, which is a… really weird feeling. [INHALE] Melanie’s quiet, but I think therapy’s helping.
(MAG145) ARCHIVIST: Oh, uh, therapy! You’re taking her to therapy! GEORGIE: She… told you, then? ARCHIVIST: Uh, yes. Yeah. GEORGIE: … Well, you don’t need to sound quite so psyched about it. She gets… nervous travelling there alone.
(Compare this with Elias’s:
(MAG127) ELIAS: I believe you’ve recently lost Melanie. BASIRA: … We saved Melanie. ELIAS: As a person, yes, but as a defender…
… go rot in jail, Elias. OH WAIT–) (It’s been almost a year for him, I hope it’s getting long and he’s feeling very bored.)
Still unsure whether Melanie’s therapist is Bad News (… even more concerning: I found Jon’s narration of Annabelle’s statement very close to the therapist’s own jumpiness), but… the therapy in itself seems to be working? She’s learning little tricks to improve her life and remain in control and calm? She is expressing boundaries? It’s good? Melanie!!!
- I’mmmmm a bit interrogative about the comment she made about Jon’s ~compulsion~ to read statement right away:
(MAG147, Annabelle Cane) “Of course, that’s not the real crux of the free will question that’s… bothering you at the moment, is it? I think that one probably comes down to whether or not you’re choosing to continue reading this statement out loud. You didn’t mean to, did you? No, I’m sure you told Basira and Melanie that you were going to glance over it and report back. Perhaps they asked you if you were going to record, and you shook your head – “Maybe later”. That sounds like the sort of thing you’d say. But think about it, Jon: when’s the last time you were able to read a statement quietly to yourself without instinctively hitting record and speaking it aloud? It is just instinct? Habit? Or is it a compulsion – a string pulled by the Ceaseless Watcher or the Mother of Puppets? Or both? I know the summaries have started to confuse you. Where did they come from, when you read a statement fresh? How do you just… sort of know what it’s about, before you even start to read it…? But by then, you’re away: the roller coaster is dropping and you’ve no real choice but to hold on and hope that… I don’t crash you.”
Alright, for the summaries, I… had been wondering about it. And we indeed got a demonstration with live-statements that Jon knew the subject and a few key elements even before beginning to hear the story – and alright, it might be how he knew what the tape was about in MAG146, although there couldn’t have been no name written on it (since Martin didn’t know Jess’s name and Jon is the one who reveals it):
(MAG141) ARCHIVIST: [INTERESTEDLY] You… FLOYD: Uh…? BASIRA: Jon? ARCHIVIST: You used to work for Salesa… FLOYD: W–what, you… Who did? I don’t know what you’re talking about. ARCHIVIST: Mikaele Salesa. You used to work on his ship. FLOYD: … I don’t know you. ARCHIVIST: [ARCHLY] But I know you. BASIRA: Jon…? ARCHIVIST: Floyd Matharu. Served on the Dorian from 2011 to 2014. With Salesa. BASIRA: Jon, I’m not sure about this. ARCHIVIST: I am. Tell me what happened. [STATIC INCREASES] FLOYD: W–what…? What is this? ARCHIVIST: Whenever you’re ready. FLOYD: A–a–alright. [STATIC DECREASES] … Sure… [SILENCE] He… he–he w–was a good boss, you know?
(MAG146) BASIRA: Martin left a tape for us. [SHUFFLING NOISE] ARCHIVIST: And what exactly is on this t– … Oh… MELANIE: Yes.
… But for written statements, we got recent examples where Jon… did some follow-up before recording, or apparently got acquainted with a statement without recording it right away? Cases in point:
(MAG123) ARCHIVIST: The investigation is tricky, I don’t want to impose on Basira and, obviously, Melanie and… Martin… aren’t available, but I did do some light searching myself on Gregory Cox. … Vanished, unsurprisingly. […] No notes or follow-up here that I can see, just… [SIGH] It looks like the statement came in just after Gertrude disappeared. […]  There’s a small supplemental document with it, though, that is a… bit alarming. I–it’s apparently a list of people whose names appear in the various pieces of text Mr Cox was pasting into the code. It’s unclear if they were meant to be… users or victims, but I cannot help but note that there seem to be the names of several statement-givers who found their way to the Institute, including noted arachnophobe Carlos Vittery.
(MAG125) ARCHIVIST: Regardless, I’ve hit another research dead end with this.
(MAG126) ARCHIVIST: I did do a small bit of follow-up on Deborah Madaki, just for my own curiosity. She didn’t go to Sannikov Land in the end. I don’t know, however, whether that was because she decided not to, or because… shortly after this statement was given, they found the body of one [Mary Randall] in her basement, and she has spent the last nine years in Eastwood Park Prison, where she remains to this day. I can’t find any evidence related to the condition of the body, but I can imagine what a sculptor’s apprentice might be capable of. Even an unwilling one.
(MAG127) BASIRA: And what was that you were doing yesterday? ARCHIVIST: … When…? BASIRA: You were sat on the floor for like four hours. ARCHIVIST: … Oh! Er, n–n–no, I was, er, I was… listening. Y’know, it’s, trying to see if any of the statements… called to me. BASIRA: And? ARCHIVIST: [FLIPS PAPER] BASIRA: Brilliant.
(MAG139) ARCHIVIST: No one’s come seeking vengeance recently, though, and looking at the details for the British Steel Plant in Scunthorpe, it does seem like Eugene is still around. So I can only assume… some sort of equilibrium was found. (MAG145) ARCHIVIST: I did some more digging into Eugene Vanderstock. I thought he was still alive and… working at the steel plant, but it looks like he’s just listed on one of the old directory pages on their website. … I really miss having people who know their way around a computer better than I do…!
So: were those cases of Jon… forcing himself to not read the statements, but already knowing the names/summaries and trying to do some search before he would be compelled to read them, or was this… Annabelle trying to mess him up a bit more, playing on his fears and trying to make him panic even more strongly.
(The fact that Jon felt a compulsion to read the statements out loud is not a novelty: he mentioned it to Georgie in MAG093. What I’m curious about is that Annabelle seems to insist that the recording is on Jon, although Jon claimed in MAG146 that he isn’t the one hitting record anymore. Does he do it unconsciously? I had always wondered about Tim’s comment, in season 3, describing to Martin how he had got mad because Jon and him had tried to talk and Jon had reached for the tape recorder – the way Tim had described it, it… had felt, to me, as if Jon wasn’t really aware of it.
Outside of statements, though: we’ve had had tapes popping up when Jon physically wasn’t in the room, or not yet – so Jon hadn’t manually turned those on. In season 4, there was his encounter with Martin in MAG129 (the tape recorder clicked on when Martin was alone in the room, we heard Jon enter), and his walk in the tunnels with Melanie in MAG131 (we heard them getting closer, and Jon asked her to give him the tape recorder, which she had been unaware of). So. Are the tape recorders a purely Jon thing, whether he activates them manually (consciously or not) or supernaturally? Are they Web and/or Annabelle’s, and she tried to divert his attention there?)
- In the end, I found Annabelle’s statement almost… reassuring? (Oops.) Because, in a way, Basira had already provided a possible Answer to this:
(MAG147) ARCHIVIST: I’m sure the flares will work fine. … I mean, un–unless it’s all some… elaborate… plot… to have us… burn this place down again. BASIRA: So what if it is? ARCHIVIST: I don’t follow…? BASIRA: I mean. Anything we do could be part of the “Grand Master Plan”. So – what, we do nothing? Just… sit on our hands, and hope that’s not what the spiders want? ARCHIVIST: [SIGH]
Basira had been presented by Daisy as more action-orientated and in a way… indeed, I’m not sure that “intentions” and “who is controlling” is the most fundamental focus of all? True that uninformed actions can have disastrous consequences (and Jon knows that: axing the Web table liberated the Not!Them, for example), but… Annabelle talked about how influences are numerous and their origins mostly unknown, or unable to be identified – it still leaves room for deciding who/what you want to be and what should matter to you? That you’re “you” as long as you decide? We had the case, in season 4, of Jon explaining his descent into the coffin as his own conscious choice, for his own (partially selfish) reasons, and… he brought some good, with that decision and action? 
(MAG136) DAISY: Jon… when you went into the coffin. Was it you choosing to do that? Did you actually think you could save me, or was… that something telling you to do it? [SILENCE] ARCHIVIST: It was me. I was… drawn to it, I’ll admit, but it was my decision. [PAUSE] It wasn’t entirely about you, though. DAISY: What was it? ARCHIVIST: My– [PAUSE] [INHALE] [SIGH] My memories of the coma are not clear. But I know I made a choice; I made a choice to become… something else. Because I was afraid to die. But ever since then, I… I don’t know if I made the right decision; I–I’m stronger now, tougher, I can… … If I do die, now, or get sealed away somewhere forever… I don’t know if that’s a bad thing. And I don’t want to lose anyone else so, if I can maybe stop that happening, and [DRY CHUCKLE] the only danger is to me, I– I’ll do it in a heartbeat; worst case scenario… the universe loses another monster. DAISY: That’s messed up. ARCHIVIST: [LOW SELF-DEPRECATIVE DRY LAUGHTER] … Yeah. I suppose it is. […] Plus, I thought… [PAUSE] W– [SIGH] Well, I didn’t know what being down there had done to you. DAISY: You thought I was gonna kill you? ARCHIVIST: It was a possibility.
And even in season 3, he had made the conscious choice of trusting the others, and of burning Gerry’s page – although both were hard, and he had to force himself to stick to it, but this is what he had chosen and who he wanted to be?
(MAG117) ARCHIVIST: Still, it does sometimes make it hard to… fully trust them, I– [SIGH] You– you know what, no. I’m… I’m done with that. No more paranoia. It’s almost got me killed more than once, and… Georgie was right. If I am… slipping, then I need people I can trust. And I… I don’t think that can happen naturally for me an–anymore, so… I’m making a decision. I trust them. All of them. E– except Elias, obviously, that’s not– I mean… I’ve listened to the tapes. I’ve listened to the tape, I– I know what they talk about behind my back, how much they’ve… suffered, because of… this place… because of me.
(MAG117) ARCHIVIST: That’s it, then. I, I think. Except… [PAPER] I, uh… I haven’t burned it. Gerard’s page. … G–Gerry. I, I… I know there’s more he could tell me. He, he wouldn’t, of course, I, I, I know that, b–but he, he, it would still– b–be– there, that, that, that knowledge. I– It it would, it would still exist, I– I, I, I can’t. I… I want to help. I, I want to. But I… uh… I’m scared. On, on tape, just… just– just do it. [UNCAPPED LIGHTER] [HEAVY BREATHING] [SOUND OF A FLAME] Do it! [HEAVY BREATHING] [CRIES OF PAIN, BURNING SOUND] [HEAVY BREATHING, MUFFLED] I… [CAPPED LIGHTER, SHAKY VOICE] … you owe me one, Gerry. Rest in… … Just rest.
(I get that Annabelle is saying that there is always the idea that you’re never truly “you” because so many things are influencing you – but at the same time, I find it instead, yeah, oddly empowering because… “you” are your influences, too?)
(- Re: Jon, it’s. A really thin line, but at the very least, HE is still not fine with what he’s been doing:
(MAG146) ARCHIVIST: [QUIET] … That’s horrible… HELEN: Is it? We do what we need to do when it comes to feeding, don’t we? … Don’t we, Archivist? ARCHIVIST: … Yes… HELEN: It would be better if you embraced it. ARCHIVIST: … It’s not…
(MAG146) DAISY: And the third was after the coffin. ARCHIVIST: A man rejected by all who knew him, searching ever-darker places for love. When he told me his story, he started… weeping maggots. BASIRA: Enough. ARCHIVIST: … I hope so.
(MAG147) ARCHIVIST: What I’ve been doing to these people, it– … It hasn’t been because I was… “puppetted”, or “controlled”, or “possessed”. I wanted to do it. It felt good. … But at least, I know I can stop. I just… [INHALE] don’t know how. I… [INHALE] I don’t… want… to stop… … Goddamn! This… [MUFFLED VOICE, COVERED BY HANDS] This one really took it out of me.
And from blaming to The Web to acknowledging his responsibility, and that it had felt “good”, this is progress; and it’s still something he is not embracing, that he’s not okay with, that upsets him. So yeah. The “I don’t want to stop” bit is worrying but… At the same time, the way he’s handling the situation doesn’t scream “I want to keep doing it” either. And I doubt the girls will allow it to happen.)
  - I wonder if Annabelle’s statement wasn’t technically meant to… give Jon his “Web” scar. I was positing until now that it had happened with A Guest for Mr Spider, as a kid, when he had been mincontrolled and had also watched the book’s effect on his bully, before it had snatched him – the loss of control on himself and on others. We (/I) tend to focus on the injuries-as-a-collection, as the mark of Jon experiencing the Fears, but technically, “experiencing” also happened to be about getting an inner understanding of their essence? I’m mostly thinking about The Unknowing, when he was able to finally pinpoint what was “Nikola” (what made The Stranger itself), and in the coffin, when he suddenly understood the nature of The Buried:
(MAG119) ARCHIVIST: … I see you. NIKOLA: Do you, now? ARCHIVIST: Yes… Yes, I s… I see the sad clown, b–bitter and hateful. I see him finding his way into a ci–circus where nobody knew him. I see him torn apart, becoming the mask, remade by a… a cruel ringmaster. Sometimes a doll, sometimes a mannequin, always hiding in somebody else’s skin. Somebody else’s name.
(MAG132) ARCHIVIST: … Come on… [STATIC] [SHAKY BREATHING] DAISY: Jon? ARCHIVIST: I know… DAISY: Th–the way out? ARCHIVIST: No… I know where we are! There isn’t no out, not here. This is… this is forever deep below creation. Where the weight of existence bears down… This is The Buried, and we are alive… There isn’t even an up.
… and curiously, alongside giving her own example and playing with Jon’s own fears of The Web and the loss of control, Annabelle… gave him a straight breakdown of the nature of The Web?
(MAG147, Annabelle Cane) “Unless, of course, none of it was intentional. None of it was planned. The Mother is the fear of manipulation, and lost control made manifest. So perhaps it is our fear that projects Her influence on everything that happens. Like the mind, retrospectively assigning reason to our actions, so we fit whatever occurs into the neatest pattern we can, and declare Her web both intricate… and complete. Perhaps She is no more active than Terminus – simply sitting and revelling in the inevitable cascade of paranoia, as those who hold Her in special terror cocoon themselves in red string and theory. Or perhaps I am simply telling you what you need to hear, in order to behave exactly as the Mother wishes you to. [STATIC, GRADUALLY INCREASING] Perhaps… I have never even seen a beach. Don’t… go to Hill Top Road again. [STATIC FADES]”
Basically, Annabelle threw Jon deep into the web by… making him doubt and fear that he could be manipulated (saying he wasn’t, then demonstrating that she could still do it, hence the final order, hence the mentions that she could have been lying all through her statement). So, giving him another paranoia fit while throwing him into the pit re: responsibility and potential guilt because he attacked people and those ones were on him.
- Annabelle’s considerations about “free will” and about Jon’s preoccupations indeed seem to play a lot with his current concerns and fears:
(MAG125) ARCHIVIST: I suppose that’s the question with so much of “violence”, “war”: how much are you really in command of yourself or of others? I’m not sure what scares me more: the idea that deep down, everyone is in complete control of their actions, that everything is, on some level, intentional; or that ultimately, we don’t have any control of ourselves at all, and the rest is just… rationalisation.
(MAG129) ARCHIVIST: I don’t like this. I don’t like… not being sure what’s going to be in my mind. What thoughts are mine and what are from… elsewhere. Why I just know some statements are what I should be reading. I assume this one is related to the coffin. To Daisy.
(MAG136) DAISY: [BREATHING HARDER, FASTER] Yeah, well… What do you think? You think I’m weak, just… [SIGH] ‘cause I’m not already chasing the next kill? You think I’m less me? ARCHIVIST: I… [SIGH] I don’t feel like I’m exactly in the best place to judge the… intersection [CHUCKLE] between free will and humanity. Still trying to figure that out myself.
(MAG145) ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] The more I listen and learn, the more it seems to me we’re all just… “groping about”. Trying desperately to find out what we’re actually meant to be doing. [PAUSE] These things that… loom so large over our lives trap us, and push us, and… sometimes kill us. But they never actually tell us what we’re supposed to be doing. So we scheme and we plot, lash out at each other without ever really knowing why. […] But I’m really starting to worry that there aren’t any answers. Not like I want there to be. There aren’t any answers in Ny-Ålesund; there aren’t any answers in the past; I’ve been inside The Buried, and there were no answers there.
(MAG146) ARCHIVIST: There is… nothing in the world more reassuring than ignorance which we can mistake for certainty. But no. Almost every one of those statements, those… people… that poor old man…
… and technically, she didn’t give any answer either, no certainty. So it really feels like the big purpose was to mess with him? (… to feed herself, maybe? She did mention that The Web was about “loss of control made manifest”, too, and that’s… what Jon is experiencing right now, although he’s aware that he is responsible for his own actions, and that he’s entangled in Annabelle’s plans.)
- One thing that Annabelle mentioned regarding how The Web operates:
(MAG147, Annabelle Cane) “Looking back, of course… and remembering the crunch of used syringes beneath my feet, I realise that addiction… is one of the strongest vectors of control there is.”
And as usual, could be an exaggeration/misleading/making you focus on the outside aspects and elements rather than their effects but… it’s indeed true that there is an enormous proportion of addicts, especially smokers, who have come into contact with The Web – I had finally noticed it thanks to MAG136:
(MAG016, Carlos Vittery) “I walked out there one day with the intention of smoking a cigarette, sat on the rusty garden furniture that had come with the place, and looked up. There it was – stretched between two large branches, silhouetted against the sky it sat. […] I leapt up, and started to head back inside, but as I did my eyes flicked wildly around the rest of the garden, and everywhere they came to rest I saw more lurking spiders, more webs. There were dozens that I could see, which meant there must be hundreds more I could not.”
(MAG056, Trevor Herbert) “In the early 80s, I was deep in the grip of my twin addictions. As I mentioned, after a while, The Hunt became an addiction of its own. Of the two, I’ve always found heroin the easier one to quit. […] But The Hunt… The Hunt is a purpose. It’s not just a way to get through the day, it’s a reason for there to be a day at all.” […] “she locked eyes with me. The weirdest sensation began to flow through me; I wanted to leave. It wasn’t like with a vampire, where I would feel like I’d been spoken to. This was just a sudden awareness of my own desire. I’d been sober for three years at that point, but I felt like I desperately wanted to get high, and I knew that the best place to get some was out in the night. Looking back, I think it might have been my own mind rationalising the way I felt my will being tugged out of the room, but it was still very powerful. If I hadn’t had a lifetime’s experience of identifying and fighting off the effect of the vampire’s gaze, I probably would have done it, too.”
(MAG059, Ronald Sinclair) “We never really got into any proper trouble – but the sort of glares we got just for smoking on the street made me want to break a window sometimes. I never did, though. I’m… not quite sure why I didn’t, to be honest. Before I met Ray, I… would have. There were plenty of broken windows in my past. There was something about living there, though, that… dulled the urge. My memories of a lot of my time there are, well… not exactly foggy, but feel almost like I’m watching someone else’s memories. I remember that it sometimes felt like I do things, without actually deciding to do them – like it was just muscle memory moving me, or a… string gently guiding me. It was never bad, or dangerous stuff, just… things I wouldn’t normally have done, like brushing my teeth.”
(MAG112, Alexia Crawley) “Brandon took to the role immediately, with a gravity and a weariness that I don’t think could have been entirely feigned. He was the only one who didn’t seem excited by the movie, and spent his off-hours smoking and reading quietly in one of the trailers. It was a shame because, for whatever reason, he also seemed to be the only one that Dexter would listen to. I only saw them talking once or twice but every time, Dexter would be wrapped, nodding at… whatever Brandon might have to say.”
(MAG136, Alison Killala) “Despite this or, maybe because of it… [Neil Lagorio and I] became friends. I think we bonded on that shoot; sheltering from the rain for hours at a time, watching a sobby animatronic jaguar gradually start to rust. I had to fight every instinct inside me, everything that wanted to burst out in admiration for his work and his… profound effect on my life. But instead I chain-smoked and laughed, trying my best to come across as my hero’s peer…!”
And it obviously put Jon’s smoking to mind. He had told Leitner that he had been quit for “five years” in February 2017 – except, well, he had cigarettes on him, so at this point, no, he was probably actually back to smoking already and presumably had been for a while. After he had opened the lighter’s package and denied smoking (MAG036, Tim+Jon: “You smoke?” “No… And I don’t allow ignition sources in my archive!”), Elias had commented about his smoking on July 29th 2016 (MAG040, “He’s not smoking again, is he?”) in a way that could mean… that either he knew about Jon’s Past As A Smoker, either Jon had been spotted with cigarettes recently (THAT’S CREEPY, CREEPY BOSS, ALL-SEEING OR NOT), and Tim’s snarky remark in February 2017 fit too well to think it was a completely random example (MAG079, “But he’s going to do something, and it’s going to be bad. And I don’t mean like ‘sneaking a cigarette’ bad – like, properly bad.”). Daisy spotted his cigarettes in MAG091 (“SILK CUT”. FOREVER REMINDER THAT HE SMOKES “SILK CUT” OF ALL THINGS.), he offered one to Gerry in MAG111, Daisy pointed out his lighter in MAG136 and Jon apparently Can’t Think About It (static and then changing the subject) so… something is definitely up with the lighter, at the very least.
-> The moment Jon stopped smoking roughly matches the time he joined the Institute (since he had worked there for four years when he began the series, second-half/end of 2015), but also the death of his grandmother (he mentioned in MAG081 that she “peacefully passed away five years ago”) – was it related to one of those two events? Because he’ll definitely need to channel again the Jon from back then who had managed to quit. (… if he ever did. Because uh. Telling Leitner that he had been quit for five years, while he had cigarettes on him, was… Jon. Jon. You had broken your streak a long time ago, you absolute hypocrite disaster.)
-> And it was ~because he had suddenly wanted a cigarette~ that Jon had left Leitner alone in MAG080, giving an opening for Elias to Brutal Pipe Murder him – something that Nikola would later use to toy with him, by mixing it up with guilt:
(MAG119) ARCHIVIST: It is not! It’s not, I didn’t know, it’s not my fault you died! LEITNER: No, I suppose not. Me, on the other hand…  […] I understand, of course. You needed a cigarette! I suppose you should have remembered that smoking kills!
-> So once again: ELIAS, what do you KNOW about the Spiders running wild in your Institute, and about Jon’s lighter.
(- And the smoking/addiction being potentially usable by The Web puts me in mind of a few other people too:
(MAG144, Gary Boylan) “I’d been out easily twice as long as any time before. But my dad didn’t say a word about it – just sat in front of the TV, laughing at some crappy panel show, smoking that… God-awful pipe that left the wallpaper yellow and peeling. I remember thinking he wasn’t content to just destroy himself. He seemed to have to take everything out around him.”
Extinction statement but. Gary’s dad was a vivid picture.
(MAG113, Adelard Dekker) “The deaths were about a fortnight apart, and when the third came in with the same symptoms, Bianca, the coroner, called me in. For the last few years we’ve had an… arrangement. I slip her a bit of cash to feed a nasty habit she has, and if she’s called to any inquest which looks strange, I’m the first to know. Despite her weakness, Bianca is still a damn good coroner, and filled me in on the details quickly.”
………………. Adelard, who had been in possession of The Web Table at some point after its Hill Top Road days, and had been able to use it to bind and trap the Not!Them…
And. And. Technically, I cannot not mention:
(MAG049) ARCHIVIST: Supplemental. Elias Bouchard is a difficult man to pin down, certainly since he became head of the Institute in 1996, taking over from James Wright, who ran the place from ‘73 until he passed away. […] I found an old gossip column in the student newspaper that – sure well – that mentioned him. If I’m not reading too much into it, the implication seems to be that he was… something of a… pothead [CHUCKLE]. Was he… like that when he first came to work here…?
Listen: if I’m haunted by the mental picture of Elias, smoking weed in his office in March-or-May 2015 because the Institute’s budget is getting tight again, and suddenly shouting “You know what? I should totes KILL GERTRUDE to solve my problems. GENIUS!” while a spider scurries away.
then, you have to be inflicted with it, too.)
- Though Trevor had presented The Hunt as an “addiction”, and Jon’s own relationship to the statements had also been presented in such a way:
(MAG107) ARCHIVIST: I’d love to rattle off a lot of potential other reasons for this, nice rational causes of recovery, but… I feel we’re past the point of transparent rationalisations. It looks like the recording of statements has now passed over from psychological compulsion into… a more physical dependence. I don’t whether this is… some sort of classical addiction or something a bit deeper. But either way, this is not the time for experimentation. I’m on a deadline, and if I need to be reading statements to stay well enough, then I suppose that’s what I shall do.
Martin also name-dropped it in his list of potential reasons for Jon’s behaviour and the way he had attacked Jess for her live-statement, and then Jon first tried to blame it on an exterior influence before finally admitting that it was all him, wording it in a way… that indeed matches up with addiction too:
(MAG142) MARTIN: Oh, that can’t– that can’t… I mean, it’s not him, is it? Not, not really? It’s, what, addiction, instinct, maybe mind control, something like that? I… can’t believe he’d choose to do something like that. … No, no, I, I can’t think like that, though, I, I can’t let myself, ‘cause I mean, if, if he’s already gone, then all of this is just…
(MAG146) BASIRA: He knows exactly what he’s doing. ARCHIVIST: I don’t–! Uh, it’s not that simple, it–it feels… [BREATHING QUICKENING] … I don’t know if I can control it, I don’t know if it’s even me doing it…! BASIRA: … So you say you’re being controlled. ARCHIVIST: I–I don’t know. Maybe? Th–The Web, it–
(MAG147) ARCHIVIST: … Annabelle’s right, though. I mean– I can’t trust anything she says to not be another lie to further manipulate and manoeuvre us, but… deep down, I think she’s right. What I’ve been doing to these people, it– … It hasn’t been because I was… “puppetted”, or “controlled”, or “possessed”. I wanted to do it. It felt good. … But at least, I know I can stop. I just… [INHALE] don’t know how. I… [INHALE] I don’t… want… to stop… … Goddamn! This… [MUFFLED VOICE, COVERED BY HANDS] This one really took it out of me.
As of now, I’m not… utterly convinced by the addiction analogy for what is happening with avatars and people’s fears, though, but that’s mostly because I’m thinking in terms of effects, and the fact that in Avatars’ cases, the primary victims are not themselves but other people: here, the main problem is not that Jon has an addiction problem to (live or written) statements, but the fact that extorting live-statements causes pain, distress, fear and overall constant suffering, impacting and destroying the lives of other people (eg Jess). The fact that it makes him feel good or not… is not the most relevant thing as to why he has to stop it; I feel like talking of it solely as an “addiction” might be diminish the gravity of what he does a bit? (Which is why I’m grateful that Basira immediately summed up his actions as a criminal’s: yes, he’s attacked innocent people, yes, he’s acted monstrous, yes, he’s currently a danger.) (But then again… it could be a point to be made, that the statements are actually bad for Jon – that they feel good but that it is… a sort of reprieve, covering up other issues, and that no, fundamentally, these stories are still shattering him.)
However, it is probably the correct analogy to approach how they should get him to stop it or to control the craving – if… it is… even possible… which I’m not even sure about…
(- I am kind of expecting a talk about why the team shouldn’t just try to find a way to kill Jon off, if he can’t or won’t control it? Concretely, of course, it’s not like they would know how to do it: Jon heals fast, can’t harm himself, didn’t manage to get instantly destroyed by the Dark Sun. He has managed to get out of the coffin once and might be able to pull that off again – even if he went back inside willingly, he probably wouldn’t manage to stay inside forever, since he already had “regrets” about going inside after three days. Plus, Daisy had managed to get some distance from The Hunt and to separate herself from it when she was inside of the coffin, but we saw that Jon’s powers had still been active and kicking while inside – so that… doesn’t seem to be exactly an option for him (because The Eye is him/within him? Because The Buried relies on awareness, like The Vast, and it can’t totally be isolated from The Eye?)
But pragmatically, I still feel like the question of what-to-do-with-Jon-and-is-it-really-worth-it-to-ensure-that-he-stays-alive has to be raised…? (Or am I totally heartless for thinking that eh, even if I liked him a lot as a character, if he’s terrorising people and hurting innocents, then no, it’s not worth it, and I’m not interested in hearing him getting glimpses of genuine happiness or jokes or hopes while Jess and probably more are hurt and hurting and their lives utterly messed up because of him.) If Jon is going Monster and can’t/won’t stop, and given how the Assistants reacted, it might cross their mind, and rightfully so? I’m expecting them to at least contain/monitor him, as of now, to prevent further victims, although… it won’t solve anything on the long run. But I want it to stop, arrrrg orz Not solely because I don’t like random people getting hurt, but because it was… the reason… Jess had come to the Institute…
(MAG142) MARTIN: O–okay. Hum. [INHALE] Right, well… [EXHALE] Firstly, I’m re– I’m really sorry that this happened. Hum… in–in terms of next steps… JESS: Just, I just… I don’t know, y–you know, talk to him, I guess? J–just tell him, like, like, I mean that– it’s not okay. You know, right, I’m not… I don’t know what he did, but it– You know, he can’t just go around, and well, you know, just keep doing… MARTIN: Right. I–I understand. JESS: Good! … Well… You… I just, I don’t want to see him again, alright? Ever.
It was hard, it was awful to describe what had happened to her again, she got hit really badly by Institute, but she came because Jon had to be stopped… it was only for this that she came, we probably won’t hear her ever again, and I don’t want it to go to waste………………. ;_;
(YES, I know that we’re potentially heading towards a ritual getting completed and/or many, maaany people dying/getting tortured in the process – but I always find it harder to hear about personal stories than the overall broad picture, and I know that Jess won’t be okay ever (… well, Daisy confirmed the trick of signing up with the Institute to get rid of the dreams/come under The Eye’s protection, but Team Archives has never been… invested in saving/helping people they didn’t personally know), but it’s even worse if her complaint doesn’t mean anything in the end… ;;))
  - Okay, so. Probably off-track and gratuitous long tangent but, eh, that’s what speculation is about, right?
I got a bit of a punch over MAG147’s date, because suddenly, time had moved… very fast towards a few Archives Anniversaries. Annabelle’s statement was dated 20th July, 2018; it’s already one month since the expedition to The Dark (Jon took Manuela’s statement on June 16th, in MAG143) and… we’re getting close to the anniversaries of both:
* Jane Prentiss’s attack on the Archives, July 29th 2016.
* The Unknowing attempt, August 06-07th 2017.
… And Jon is very conscious of the time passing, of the dates – he sighed about his perception of time in MAG123 (realising that two years had passed, and that he… hadn’t “lived” the entirety of them), and even mentioned the Institute’s anniversary as a source of dread:
(MAG127) ARCHIVIST: Whatever is happening now… has its origins two hundred years ago. In the work of an evil man. … Exactly two hundred years, in fact. Don’t think that little detail has evaded me. I don’t know the precise date the Institute was founded, but I do know that it was in 1818. … Something’s coming. I know it is. … But I just don’t know what I need to do.
These are of course also the anniversaries of Sasha’s death, Tim’s death. The reminder, too, that Martin is the last one of the original assistants still alive, and so far one has died every summer since Jon was appointed as Head Archivist – if there was a moment to panic over the Assistants “symbolically” being in danger because there is a pattern, it would be now. Daisy mentioned Jon’s PTSD in MAG142, we got a reminder that Jon still had Jane Prentiss’s ashes in his desk in MAG140:
(MAG140) BASIRA: Er… Jon. What’s this. [DRY SOUND] ARCHIVIST: Mm? … Oh. That’s… [SILENCE] That, uh, that’s… my rib? BASIRA: … Right. [PUTS IT DOWN] ARCHIVIST: Yup… BASIRA: And… the jar of ashes. ARCHIVIST: Not– Not mine; I–I mean, it belongs to me, I–I guess, but it’s not… Er, stationery is in the other drawer?
Could have been nothing more than a casual joke but with the anniversary at the corner… I’m not so sure.
But mostly, I’m thinking about Tim.
I’m still… very surprised that Tim was mentioned so little in season 4, when it had been extremely important for Jon that Tim make it back alive?
(MAG118) TIM: You thought you brought me in as a distraction, right? ARCHIVIST: What?! TIM: Let me do it! Go in, maybe you can get some of them– ARCHIVIST: Tim, contrary to what you think, I did not bring you here to indulge your death wish! TIM: It’s not what this is! ARCHIVIST: No?! TIM: No! You knew I might not be coming back! ARCHIVIST: I knew none of us might be coming back, and I’m not gonna let anyone get killed for nothing! TIM: Oh, except for those people in there! ARCHIVIST: They’re already dead! TIM: Not all of them! ARCHIVIST: I am not losing you as well!!
Sasha had been dead for more than six months when Jon realised what had happened, and Tim&Martin learned about it even later – even then, she was… mentioned so much. Nikola pretended to be her during The Unknowing, taunted him about the possibility of her resurrection (“Oh, you caught me~ I’m… Sasha! […] No~! Really, it’s me! Sasha– whatever her name was! Back from the dead, just like you wanted~!”), prompting a visceral reaction from Jon. Sasha was on Martin’s lips, too, when he confronted Elias and his (in)actions. But Tim… from what I recall, this is all we got about Tim this season:
(MAG122) ARCHIVIST: Er, the others. T–Tim? Is he… [SILENCE] Oh… [SILENCE] BASIRA: … Daisy, too. [SILENCE] ARCHIVIST: … I’m sorry. […] You’re… sure a–about Tim? BASIRA: Yeah, they, er… They found his remains a few days later.
(MAG123) MELANIE: How did you make it out, then, mm? ARCHIVIST: What? MELANIE: Tim is dead. Daisy is dead. And you, what? You’re just fine? ARCHIVIST: No, I’ve been in hospital for six months! […] Melanie, Melanie: it’s… it’s me. MELANIE: Oh! Okay, so what, “Hi Jon, how are you, get anyone killed lately?” ARCHIVIST: … I… MELANIE: Wipe that look off your face. Like you’re not the reason all of this is happening.
(MAG123) ARCHIVIST: She needs help, Basira. God, it didn’t even get that bad when I was… … Even Tim never threatened me. Not like that. […] So: we’re under siege; Melanie is aggressively unstable; Martin is working very closely with The Lonely, who is, predictably enough, isolating him; and, oh, yes, Tim and Daisy are still dead. Which is at least easy to keep track of! BASIRA: That isn’t funny, Jon. ARCHIVIST: I know it’s not–! … Sorry. It’s just… it’s a lot.
(MAG123) ARCHIVIST: I have no theories on it, no… no sudden insights. [SIGH] I wish I could talk it through with Martin. … Or Tim. [SHORT SAD CHUCKLE] Or Sasha. But we never really did that, did we…? … Everything’s changed. … [SIGH]
(MAG126) ARCHIVIST: A “Great Twisting”, that Gertrude stopped at the cost of a single life. … I thought… moving away from my humanity would have made that seem more acceptable. That sort of sacrifice… but it just makes me sad… … I remembered Gertrude’s notebook; we found it alongside the plastic explosives, but it rather got lost amongst the business of… [SIGH] saving the world at the cost of two lives…
(MAG133) BASIRA: Good. As far as I can see, Gertrude Robinson was the most effective person in this place. ARCHIVIST: … That’s what Tim said as well.
Plus, from Martin:
(MAG120) ELIAS: Hello, inspector. Martin. I’m… sorry to hear about Tim. MARTIN: Don’t. ELIAS: And Daisy, I suppose. MARTIN: Don’t. you. dare. ELIAS: I suppose it’s some consolation Basira made it out. And Jon – more or less.
(MAG138) MARTIN: I don’t know what he’s talking about when he mentions Millbank. The old prison, I guess? Tim said the tunnels under the Institute were all that was left of it, but… Jon said he’d checked them pretty thoroughly. [SILENCE] [SIGH] I’m not the one who knows all about this stuff…! I wish– … No. No, it’s fine, I’m… fine, I… [EXHALE] I can do this.
And I’m still sad, and a bit curious?, about the fact that… Jon had heard Tim’s last words to him, but told Basira he couldn’t remember how The Unknowing had gone:
(MAG119) TIM: Back! Get back! That’s right. Jon, I don’t know if you can hear me, but if you can… ARCHIVIST: [FAINTLY AND FAR] Tim…? TIM: I don’t forgive you. But thank you for this.
(MAG122) BASIRA: How much do you remember? ARCHIVIST: I don’t… Music. Everything was wrong. Gertrude was there, and then… dancing. I think? Then… pain. And I was somewhere else. Dreaming.
Are the memories truly lost, and they’ll never be aware of the fact that Tim pulled the trigger, took his revenge for Danny’s death, and saved the world – and that Jon was never to be forgiven? Or are they stuck somewhere in Jon’s subconscious? Are they buried and meant to be dug out, or… forgotten?
“Grief” has been surprisingly absent this season. We know that Martin had the added dimension of losing his mother – which had… already been an open wound for a while (her refusing to see him), made worse by Elias (revealing to him that she hated him, and why, and carving “what she was seeing” whenever she looked at him into his mind), until she died two months later, and… he explicitly bore that death alone:
(MAG127) BASIRA: Honestly, I kind of regret not just… grabbing Martin and shaking an explanation out of him. But I didn’t want to push it. He was in a… bad place, what with the attack and his mom and everything, so I didn’t press it. Now, I try and bring it up, he just… disappears. Nothing to be done. ARCHIVIST: So–sorry, you said… What happened with his mother? BASIRA: Oh, yeah. She died. About two months– ARCHIVIST: Oh… BASIRA: –after you, er… … Martin was… … He tried to stay strong. Keep it together but, that sort of thing… ARCHIVIST: [SIGH]
(MAG129) ARCHIVIST: I, er… I heard about your mother. MARTIN: … Yeah. ARCHIVIST: I am… so sorry. [SILENCE] MARTIN: Thank you. [INHALE] It’s… [SHAKY EXHALE] It’s better, this way. ARCHIVIST: If–if you do need to talk, I– MARTIN: I can’t. ARCHIVIST: No. No, o–of course.
It makes a lot of sense, for Martin, to be especially vulnerable to The Lonely: he always had… trouble connecting with others, and his relationships were shown to be ultimately one-sided. He was hovering around and crushing on Jon while Jon was suspecting him of murder; his mother disliked him and refused to let him take care of her, trying to cut ties; even Tim admitted that he didn’t know Martin as well as he used to know Sasha, and avoided him like he did the other new assistants (we didn’t hear them interact again after MAG104, which only happened by accident and chance). He explicitly didn’t like Daisy, in season 3; had been snappy to Basira, and both Basira and Melanie didn’t have a lot of nice things to say about him, although Martin had shown sympathy towards Melanie in MAG108 (and then, Melanie fell deeper to the Slaughter bullet, and Basira began to turn more callous and calculating). Overall, the fact that he was aware that he hadn’t been able to notice that Sasha had been replaced probably didn’t… help.
But it’s mostly that absence of… anything about the loss of Tim that surprises me a bit, and I find it interesting that neither Jon and Martin apparently took the time to grieve. Aside from “addiction” (reminder that Jude used drugs too!), there’s something else that has been present in quite a few avatars’ storylines – depression. Oliver began to dream when he was depressed (MAG011, “I barely made it through a full year before the stress of my new job, not to mention some problems in my personal life, led to me having a full nervous breakdown. I’d broken up with Graham, my boyfriend of six years and had to leave the home we shared, going to stay with some of the few friends that had survived my year of stress-fuelled outbursts and constantly cancelled plans. It was there, sleeping on my friend Anahita’s sofa, in the depths of my misery, that I first started to have the dreams.”), Jude was going through a burn out when she met Agnes (MAG089, “The point was, that I burned through too much of myself, because I didn’t know what else I could burn. My girlfriend saw it, though she had no idea how to help with the deep depression that had settled over me. […] I was burned out in every sense but one. And that was the one that saved me. It was Agnes, of course. I don’t know where she found me, I only remember sitting in a booth with a beautiful young woman who smelled like matches and incense.”). Kinda goes well with “addiction” in the idea that the Fears tend to recruit people when they’re vulnerable? But keeping Jon in mind, Daisy, mostly, had repeatedly pointed out that he hasn’t been fine for a while:
(MAG136) DAISY: You need to stop moping. ARCHIVIST: I what? DAISY: You need to stop swanning around, being all sad. ARCHIVIST: I’m, I’m not “swanning around”– DAISY: “Boo-hoo, I’m so alone and a monster!” ARCHIVIST: I am alone, Martin is– DAISY: Busy. doing. paperwork. Not like he’s dead. Beside, he’s not the only other person here, you know. There’s me; Melanie; Basira– ARCHIVIST: Traumatised; traumatised; and paranoid, because of me. DAISY: Get over yourself! You’re always talking about choices – we all made ours. Now I’m making the choice… to get some drinks in. Coming?
(MAG142) DAISY: I, I mean, it’s pretty standard stuff. MARTIN: What?! DAISY: Used to see it all the time back in the force, especially with the Section’d. Not like there’s… “normal” trauma, you know? But it’s pretty common. The most important thing becomes control, engaging on your own terms. Even when it’s stupid or dangerous. Anything to not feel helpless. MARTIN: Oh, god… DAISY: And of course, for Jon, there’s survivor’s guilt in there, too. He thinks he’s not human. Makes him very… self-destructive. MARTIN: Yeah, well. We’ve all had trauma. DAISY: And everyone’s changed.
(MAG143) HELEN: … How was it? ARCHIVIST: Mm? HELEN: Looking upon The Dark. ARCHIVIST: I thought I was going to die. HELEN: You seem to think that a lot. I remember when you thought you were going to die at my threshold. ARCHIVIST: … Yeah.
And it would’t be surprising if the fact that neither Martin&Jon took the time, nor did work on grieving… contributed, a lot, to put them in such a bad headspace – Jon feeding from people, being in denial over his responsibility and not trying to actively stop it nor warning the others about it, Martin admitting that the temptation of The Lonely is working on him.
At the end of season 3, Tim’s very last scene, very last words… were technically a reference to a joke about depression&therapy:
(MAG119) TIM: You sound stressed. You know, I hear the Great Grimaldi’s in town. You should go see him. Cheer yourself up. NIKOLA: That’s. not. funny. TIM: I know. [LOUD EXPLOSION] [CLICK.]
(And Peter Lukas had offered Martin to go to therapy (MAG120, “And if you want to talk to a counsellor, the Institute will of course cover any cost.”), although… yeaaaah, coming from Peter, it just sounded. Plain bad.)
It introduced the theme a bit; season 4 then made it pretty clear that in this universe, actual therapy is not a bad thing. We saw it with Melanie, though she did express cautiousness about it (it’s not a Miracle Solution, some therapists are bad or don’t fit you). We saw it with Jess:
(MAG142) JESS: So. It… It took a long time to get over that. I mean… That’s not weird, right? I mean, it was a bad time. You know? It–it stays with you. I was signed off for, what, probably about six months, with the injuries? I had pretty bad, uh, nightmares, claustrophobia, I mean… Obviously, right? But, uh, but–but I did my physio, and, you know, talked wi–with the counsellor they gave me? Look, I did everything I was supposed to, and–and yeah, I… I guess I was fine. You know, once the bruises were gone, I… Well, it’s easy to blame memory, right? You know, ha–hallucination, coincidence, all the… classic shite you tell yourself. Look, life went back to… normal, I… I was fine. Until… [CHOKING] about two weeks ago. MARTIN: And that was when you met J– … Er, one of our employees.
Even Gertrude had directed Lucia towards someone – she sounded… very manipulative and lying through her teeth about the nightmares (? She would know that no, Lucia’s wouldn’t stop, especially after giving her statement?), but I have trouble picturing Gertrude doing the extra effort of recommending someone and actively searching for their contact information if it was just to get rid of Lucia (she really didn’t need to do so, the statement was over and Lucia hadn’t asked for anything!); if Gertrude recommended them, it’s probably that she genuinely knew that it could help?
(MAG130) LUCIA: H… uh. Will it help? GERTRUDE: I’m sorry? LUCIA: Telling my story. To you. Will, will it help with the nightmares? GERTRUDE: If that’s your primary goal, my dear, I would suggest you speak to a qualified counsellor. We can suggest one, if you like; that said, I do believe most people find the process of giving a statement to be rather… mm, cathartic. And whatever nightmares your experience has left you with, I’m sure they won’t be bothering you much longer. […] And do you feel any better? LUCIA: No. GERTRUDE: Mm, that’s a shame. Hang on, let me see if I can find you the number for that counselling service. They’re actually quite good.
We’ve had a broad gallery of characters handling their traumas in different ways, this season. Melanie is going to therapy, and whether her therapist is Web/Eye/Lonely or not… it is working to help her get some control over herself. She’s quieter, she expresses her boundaries – far from losing her voice, she is… reappropriating it. Daisy has not sought out professional help, but she’s careful about how she handles herself, the symptoms and how to prevent falling off – she seeks out company, she talks, she communicates, she tries to repair bridges, while remaining overall careful:
(MAG136) DAISY: [QUICKLY] You’re not babysitting me, alright?! I know that’s what the others think, sometimes, but… that’s not it. I just… don’t like…  being on my own if I can help it. You know. Flashbacks, panic attacks, the usual. Just trying to avoid it if I can. ARCHIVIST: I know, Daisy, I–I do. It’s hard.
(MAG144) DAISY: No, I’m ju– [SIGH] Just ignore me. Continue with… whatever. [SILENCE] MARTIN: … Are you alright? DAISY: Yeah. Just a… a bit empty around here. You know? MARTIN: Not really. DAISY: Melanie’s out, and… [EXHALE] Jon and Basira’re still off. Bit worried. But they can take care of themselves, you know?
And on the other side, just like Jon and Martin, Basira just… tried to deal with things on her own, and partially failed and hurt herself in the process:
(MAG128) BASIRA: Do you know how I survived the… The Unknowing? ARCHIVIST: I… No. No, I don’t. BASIRA: No powers, no… magic or… help. I was trapped in that place, and so I tried to figure it out. And I did. A little. So I kept doing it. I kept going through until I got out. I… reasoned my way out of that nightmare. ARCHIVIST: Good lord… BASIRA: Then everything ended, and Daisy was gone. And you were gone. And Tim. And then I got back to the Institute, and Martin send me to meet the new boss. Then I stood alone in an empty office for more than one hour. I can trust me, Jon. That’s it. ARCHIVIST: [SIGH]
And it could be that Jon… should have gone for therapy, too, and never will. But if there was ever a moment for him to try it out as a way to handle himself, I feel like it could be now? He had been constantly adamant about not going for it and… his reject resurfaced very recently with Georgie:
(MAG058) MARTIN: He’s just under a lot of pressure. You know how messed up he’s been since Prentiss. TIM: How messed up he’s been?! MARTIN: Of course, I’m sorry – sorry, I didn’t mean that you weren’t, just– TIM: No! Because I didn’t start stalking my co-workers! MARTIN: Maybe try talking to him. TIM: Sure. Like he doesn’t already look at me like I’m a murderer. MARTIN: Look, look, you just got to let me work through this. Alright? I suggested therapy, but he just says no, so– TIM: Well, we need to do something! MARTIN: Yeah, maybe.
(MAG145) ARCHIVIST: I’m… I’m alright. I’m trying to, uh… rest up a bit. Take it easy. [HUFF] GEORGIE: Really? ‘Cause… I’m pretty sure I heard talking about a screaming headless corpse just now. ARCHIVIST: Oh… Oh. W–were you… listening? GEORGIE: Oh, uh. Didn’t mean to. You know. These… doors are not that thick. ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] … Fine. I’m deep in it. Had some… “close calls”. [SILENCE] GEORGIE: I’m sorry to hear that. [PAUSE] … You should probably get some therapy too. ARCHIVIST: [HUFF] Would you go with me as well? GEORGIE: … No. ARCHIVIST: Yeah. … No, I thought as much.
Because concretely, what can they do now, re:Jon, and what can Jon do about this “addiction” of his to destroy people…? Could be that precisely, it’s over, they’re just trying to buy a bit of time, but Jon is Done For, and either he’s dying at the end of this season, either he’s going full monster. But if there is a solution to at least attenuate the problem, my money is on therapy, with how the theme has popped up here and there, together with “control (of yourself)”…? (And it was especially jarring, in this episode, how… I got the feeling that Jon was aiming for Free Therapy in front of the tape recorder? Except it’s a one-sided exchange, it’s him talking to himself, and he’s not equipped for self-analysis.) (And there is something to be said, maybe, about how inflicting Fears and misery on others and the whole “Feed what feeds you, or it will feed on you”, is textbook “hurting others to not hurt yourself/to stop hurting yourself? So, I don’t know. It’s spooks, it’s alien entities, but we’ve always had a mix of supernatural and down-to-earthness when it came to dealing with the entities and their effects… so maybe there would still be a way to unravel Jon’s issues in a positive way, for once.)
(Aaaah, I’m mostly interested in the idea of Melanie and Daisy talking to Jon about the influence of powers and personal responsibility, potentially more… quietly, after a few days, once they’ve all cooled down. Because Daisy might feel grateful for Jon for having pulled her out of the coffin, and I really doubt she would give up on him. Melanie… a bit less, and she used to genuinely dislike Jon, but she still Knows What It’s like. Both would have rightful reasons to feel bitter/annoyed/mad, though, that Jon has been spilling advice here and there, presenting himself as the voice of reason… and was absolutely not following through with his own actions, once again.)
(- Re: Annabelle’s statement. I have no Personal Offended Feelings about the jovial call-out directed towards the red-strings theorist (“simply sitting and revelling in the inevitable cascade of paranoia, as those who hold Her in special terror cocoon themselves in red string and theory.”), because 1°) THAT’S FAIR BUT HOW ‘BOUT I DO IT ANYWAY, 2°) I’m mostly amused because it adds to the pile of things about how I live TMA as I lived Umineko. I already had a list of things they share that I was amused about (tea, comatose love-interest, and (DUCT) tape, etc.), and I can now add to it “writer using a female character to shout at his fanbase when they’re fumbling around trying to understand The Fuck Is Happening”. Spider woman really interested in stories, insufferable/absolutely awful Witch of Theatregoing, Drama and Spectating – same struggle.)
MAG148’s title is out and OOOOOOOH does it. Sound. Like. Another. Beholding episode. Which would be our 4th already this season – it’s… a lot more than previous ones, really making it feel like The Eye is getting more present and threatening. (Could technically be The Web, too, with that weird intertwining of them that we got lately! Or just plainly Annabelle again.) As for the content: there is an obvious joke to make about Elias and the title would also fit him awfully well (sob); obligatory thinking about MAG003’s Graham; Adelard Dekker had referred to half of it in relation to Gertrude back in MAG113… But mostly: it could… accurately describe the Assistants deciding to monitor Jon? And statement-wise, it mainly screams “PANOPTICON” to me. So. Historical statement once again from the Jonah-Smirke era – or even from earlier, from Jeremy Bentham himself…? (Or from Jonathan Fanshawe post-1831, because so far, with what we learned about him, he had gotten away, and I liked him and I can’t have nice things.) Not necessarily read by Jon; we could switch to Martin again, since Peter had stated that he needed the Institute for his plans, and he had already read Smirke’s letter to Jonah Magnus last time. (… Or it could also be from one of Jon’s three other unnamed victims from season 4 orz)
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linsh6 · 5 years
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Speculations for GOT S8
Since I’ve expressed some thoughts about Show!Jonrya, maybe I just outright say all my opinions toward GOT and my S8 speculations.
D&D are really dumb writers
Yes, I won't avoid my “despise” on them so I just outright say it. A lot of people think they just hate Arya so much so they reduce her complex character into a one-dimensional badass assassin and ignore her capacity to become a leader (or queen). But in my opinion, they just purely so suck at script writing that everyone in the show is reduced to a one-dimensional character.
I once held a job as a scriptwriter back in my country (not in English though, and then I quit my job and became a free writer), and I know some important principles and points when it comes to scriptwriting. First of all is the characters’ arcs, D&D apparently have sucked at that so I won’t say much, all of you guys can refer to Grrm’s amazing original and will know how complex character development truly is (He’s so talented and I admire him so much). Why, based on Grrm’s brilliant work, D&D still managed to fuck up the characters’ shapings, I don’t know the reason, just like I suspect why they can even earn their job at HBO. 
Then is the structure and consistency,  I can convince myself that D&D did try their best for the characters but failed, but if the story is not consistent and even contradict itself, it’s deadly. A good scriptwriter (or at least who wants to be) must consider the whole plan from the beginning, otherwise, the story would easily become a total mess.
I believe that D&D do that effort (I believe in their ambition to be remembered and honored as scriptwriters), and we can access that they did plan out some character's development from S1 and talked with Grrm regarding their endings. 
So based on that I would build my personal speculations for S8′s plot.
1. Jonerys’ relationship & Daenerys’ ending.
First of all, I am a little up for the Daenerys’ mad queen theory. In S7 Daenerys literally burn people alive because they refused to bend their knee, which includes Sam’s father and brother. Tyrion felt it not good and tried to stop her, but he failed. 
That behavior is not a really good sign to me, and every character must hold their fate for what they’ve done, remember some actors did refer that there’s a trail for everyone in the final season? If that’s the case, why Daenerys should escape that final trial? I can tell D&D set this up intentionally because Tyrion as a neutral mirror already contradicted Daenerys at that scene.
And I dont’t see Jonerys will end well, their value and ways of lifestyle are too different, and their union in last season was nothing more than a forced push. They only knew each other for several days! How can we count on their relationship to be a great love story? And honestly I don’t see D&D put any effort in developing Jonerys’ relationship, all of their plots are so obvious and cliche, if they really are the final endgame D&D certainly could come up something better & more touching. 
I do think that Jonerys would become enemies in the end. Daenerys has no way back but become a queen to rule the seven kingdoms, otherwise all the efforts along her way to come to now would mean nothing, where there’s no better description than Grrm’s original line “If I look back, I am lost” ( In the books I sympathize for Daenerys, but she’s so flat on the show...)
2. Sansa will die
Honestly, I think Sansa will die halfway both in the show and in the books, she’s not important enough to make it to the finale episode. Actually she’s not even important enough bothering me to talk about, but D&D certainly did show some “fondness” to this character that made us hard to ignore.
Of course, they really “like” her, even to add a rape plot to force her to “grow” and made her first reunite with Jon. But that’s it, they can’t do more. They nearly made her become the top tier characters, but only nearly. Despite of their “fondness” of Sansa, D&D still didn’t make the northern lords fight against Boltons for Sansa like they did for Arya in the books, neither Jon. And D&D shaped her as an ambitious politician who would rather take place of Jon and almost kill her sister, which was verified by the script remark. (And Jonsa is a crackship both in the show and the books, there’s no other way around.)
Sansa still needs to fulfill her final character arc with meeting Cersei at King’s Landing,  so her death may happen at episode 4 or 5 I guess.
3. Arya’s role in the battle of dawn
I surely believe Arya will play an important role in the battle of dawn, even decisive, first point is her valyrian dagger, and second is Nymeria. 
In Isaac’s interview, he did say bran offers Arya the valyrian dragger because he senses there’s gonna be some importance to it. So maybe we can guess Arya would use this dagger in some vital fighting moment like fighting the Night King.
Then is Nymeria, I know people are all upset about the scene in S7, but it must mean for something, otherwise that would be a total waste of time for showing that Nymeria becomes a queen of a wolf pack (and the money too). Remember Ghost and Nymeria are the only Stark’s direwolf left. I believe Nymeria’s wolf pack would show up in the critical moment during the fighting. 
4. Arya’s parallel to Lyanna
I guess that in S8 there may be a scene directly compare Arya to Lyanna. Remember GOT’s team did make some efforts to choose an actress who resembles Maisie to play Lyanna. And Maisie also once said "I remember having a little braid in my hair and the hair and make-up team would be like, you cannot leave with that braid in your hair, we have to take it out. Because people will read into it and find some spoilers with just a braid." 
If Arya has a scene with a braid and be referred to Lyanna, then it must have a strong impact to Jon, because all these years he always wondered about his mother, now finally gonna see a live Lyanna 2.0 before his eyes.
5. Jonrya’s relationship development
According to actors’ interviews recently, that would be a fair guess that Jonrya won’t go well at the beginning, like a forthright hug as they do in S1E2. But I don’t view it as a bad thing, on the opposite I believe a real important relationship would need a proper and elaborate-designed development (never like Jonerys’ one),  that arc would be more moving and impressing.
If Jon & Arya develop their relationship through the final season, like afraid to face each other at the first but then realize they will still love each other no matter what, then I have every reason to believe Jonrya is the endgame. 
And if they do end up romantically (that’s my hope), I guess would be under that stressful circumstance and they still and only have each other (Sansa will die, Bran is emotionless, Jon and Daenerys may turn against each other halfway). Only they would love the other unconditionally, what else does it need for them to go further?
Final word
To close this post, I just want to express my love and respect for the show. Not for D&D of course, they suck at those characters and mess the story after S5. But for Grrm’s brilliant original base and the actors’ amazing performances, including those of Lena, Peter, Carice, Alfie, Aiden & so many other great ones, and finally my beloved Maisie (Not including Kit and Emilia, especially Emilia, they’re lovely though). 
In my view, GOT is one of the greatest show in the world (thanks to Grrm’s original work of course not D&D’s), and I may rewatch and appreciate it every now and then for my later years. 
D&D did a rather good job at least for the first 4 seasons, if they really make an “unexpected” ending as every actor put it and want to impress the audience & to be remembered well, I do hope they could end it well, just like what they did with the beginning.
If that so, I may still not forgive what they did in S5 but would not hate them anymore probably😊.
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Star Trek Episode 1.11: The Menagerie, Part 1
AKA: Spock Goes Rogue, Shows Vacation Photos
Did you think we were done with the pilots yet? Ha ha ha, no. We will never be done.
You remember how, back in Where No Man Has Gone Before, I mentioned that there was a first pilot that NBC was interested in but didn’t like enough to greenlight the show? That pilot was called The Cage, and was quite different from the eventual show in its design. It was also very different in cast, with Leonard Nimoy and Majel Barrett being the only cast members to stick around for the rest of the show. Nimoy still played Spock, but a much more emotional, earnest Spock, while Barrett played Number One, the second-in-command who was actually much more like Spock, being cool, intelligent, and seemingly emotionless. Instead of Kirk the captain was Christopher Pike, played by Jeffrey Hunter, who made for a much more serious and gloomy kind of leading man.
Now, as mentioned, that pilot didn’t get approved, so they went on with the second pilot, and then with the main show, leaving The Cage to be an interesting what-could-have-been side note in the show’s history, but nothing more than that. Or at least, it would have been, if the show hadn’t run into a problem with production delays while doing the first season, on account of all that time-consuming effects work. To help catch up, they needed an episode that could be completed in much less time than they were usually taking. Come to think of it, didn’t they have an entire story, already shot and edited and everything, just sitting around unused?
And so Roddenberry hit on the idea of re-using the scrapped pilot to fill out season one. It’s an odd example of being a clip show (that is, an episode of a TV show mostly comprised of clips from other episodes) from a production standpoint, but not from an audience one, since they had never seen the old footage before. Of course, the pilot was so different that they couldn’t just drop it in as it was. It was weird enough when they did that with Where No Man Has Gone Before, and at least that one had the same captain. So a framing device had to be invented, something that would allow them to justify showing the pilot in the context of the show. That framing device combined with the longer running time of The Cage—an hour and a bit compared to TOS’s usual fifty minutes—made for two episodes, resulting in the only two-part story in TOS.
Our episode begins with the Enterprise in orbit around a large planet that’s a nice purple color. A view from the planet’s surface shows us a walkway and grassy courtyard between rows of buildings, under a purple sky with a ringed planet on the horizon. A nice change from the planets we’ve seen so far, which have mostly been bleak at best and desolate hellholes no one would want to live in at worst. Well, Miri’s planet was okay. Shame about the plague, though.
Anyway, this planet is clearly quite inhabited, as lots of people in Starfleet uniforms are walking about, including a redshirt woman who pauses and looks around with a rather...confused expression on her face. It kinda looks like she’s just suddenly found herself outside and isn’t entirely sure how she got there.
But a moment later, the thing she was looking for arrives: Kirk, Spock and McCoy beaming down into the courtyard. The woman greets them and says that the commodore is waiting to see them, and wants to know why they suddenly changed course to come visit him. Now it’s Kirk’s turn to be confused, because according to him, they got a message telling them to divert to the base immediately. But the woman says the base sent no such message. Well, that’s a mite strange.
Kirk is soon talking to said commodore, Mendez, who says that no, they definitely didn’t send anything like that to the Enterprise. But Kirk insists that Spock received a message from the former captain of the Enterprise, now-Fleet Commander Pike, and Kirk has rock solid faith in Spock so as far as he’s concerned, if Spock says there was a message, there was a message.
Before Kirk can offer to duel for Spock’s honor, Mendez says that he’s not doubting anyone here, it’s just that it’s impossible that Pike could have sent that message. When Kirk asks why, Mendez is surprised he hasn’t heard since it’s been all over the subspace chatter. Apparently Kirk hasn’t been keeping up with his social media lately. Judging by the commodore’s tone, it’s not happy news.
He takes the three of them upstairs to the medical section, because sure, why not stick a hospital directly on top of your space navy headquarters. On the way, they talk about Pike; Kirk only met him once, but Spock served with him on the Enterprise for eleven years. According to Mendez, Pike was doing an inspection of an old cadet ship when a plate ruptured, exposing the people on the ship to delta rays. Which are a real thing, but probably not one that has much of anything to do with this. Anyway Pike went into the danger zone to rescue all the cadets that were still alive, but judging from the grim warning Mendez gives before he opens the door to Pike’s room, he didn’t come back in great shape.
They enter the room, to see a man sitting with his back towards them. When Mendez addresses him, he slowly turns around, revealing that his chair is in fact a mobility device encasing him up to his shoulders. The little that we can see of Pike himself doesn’t look real good.
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[ID: A man in a hospital room with a large window looking out onto a cityscape. The man is in a kind of pyramidal chair that encases him up to his shoulders, with five round lights arranged on a panel in the front, four silver and one yellow. The man has pale hair, drooping eyelids, bubbled skin on the lower part of his face, and a huge purplish-red burn scar curving from his left temple down to his jaw.]
Kirk, Spock and McCoy look back with muted reactions—which could be called underacting, but I call it sensible, because the last thing you want to do when seeing a person who’s been injured and disfigured is scream about it, that’s not good for anyone’s mental health. Mendez goes over to Pike and says hey, you remember these guys, they wanted to come see you. In response, the yellow light on Pike’s chair flashes twice. Mendez says two flashes mean no. So, he doesn’t remember them, or he doesn’t want to see them? Mendez seems to think it’s the second one, because he asks if Pike won’t make an exception, but he only gets another no. Looks like they’ll have to leave. Kirk asks if there’s anything he can do for Pike, but he also gets a no.
As they turn to leave, though, Spock asks Pike if he can stay for a moment. The chair light flashes once for yes, so the other three exit, leaving Spock alone with his former captain.
Spock says that Pike knows why he’s come. It’s an awkward conversation. “It’s only six days away at maximum warp, and I have it well planned.” Two flashes. “I have never disobeyed your orders before, Captain, but this time, I must.” Two flashes. “I know. I know it is treachery, and it’s mutiny. But I must do this.” Two flashes. “I have no choice.” Two flashes. One suspects that if there was a “goddammit, I said NO” button, Pike would be using it.
That’s not Jeffrey Hunter playing Pike here, incidentally—he declined to come back for the second pilot after the first one didn’t get picked up, and was way too expensive and busy for them to hire him back just to get covered in makeup and sit motionless in a pyramid chair. So the older Pike was played by Sean Kenney, suffering through what had to be one of the most boring acting jobs ever.
After the titles, night has fallen on the purple planet, and still Kirk and Mendez are arguing. Kirk says that Spock claiming to have received a message is all the proof he needs, but as the commodore points out, the record floppy discs tapes show no sign of that message being sent. Kirk suggests the tapes could have been altered, but Mendez says fact is that Pike could not have sent that message and Spock’s the only one who seems to have seen it anyway. Kirk points out that if Spock wanted to see Pike there’d be no need to fake a message, he could have just asked for leave. “WELL THAT’S TRUE OF COURSE!” Mendez yells, and then kind of peters out awkwardly.
The question is, if the Enterprise was nefariously diverted to the base by someone, why? There was nothing urgent going on where they were that anyone would want to get them away from. Mendez calls down to the computer lab to see if there’s any way that message could possibly have been sent from the base, but the guy on duty says that no, they’ve checked and double-checked everything possible. Mendez tells him to start checking the impossible. Dammit, why do these Starfleet types keep saying that? What is anyone supposed to do with that order? “Well, I guess we’ll go look for unicorns in the server room.”
As the computer chief gets up to go set leprechaun traps or whatever, Spock enters from the door behind him. We can tell he's up to no good because he's in stealth mode, creeping suspiciously past a partition in the back of the room and coming up behind the computer guy, who gets nerve-pinched before he even knows what's up. Spock leaves him on the floor and sets to work tampering with one of the computers. Hands-on hacking, that's how they did it back in the day.
Upstairs...downstairs? Adjacent? In another building? Wherever the commodore's office is relative to the computer lab, the redshirt woman from earlier has stopped by. Mendez introduces her to Kirk as Ms. Piper. (She's a civilian? I guess? She wears a uniform but has no rank on her sleeves.) Piper says that she recognized Kirk immediately because a mutual friend described him to her—yet another one of Kirk's old flames, evidently, judging by the way he reacts. Before we can go too far down that old road again, though, Mendez nudges Piper to make her report.
Piper says that their investigation turned up very little, except that Spock served with Pike for several years and was very loyal to him, which we already knew. Kirk butts in to say that a Vulcan “can no more be disloyal than he can exist without breathing” which applies both to Spock’s former commander and his present one. This strikes me as a rather odd thing to say. What do you mean he can't be disloyal? Can Vulcans not dislike or disagree with people that they serve under? Do they just become bound to obey anyone with a higher rank than them? Because that has all kinds of unpleasant implications. It could be that their culture simply places a very high priority on loyalty, but Kirk makes it sound like it's built into them. But then I guess Kirk is a bit on the defensive right now and he might be overstating things. Or he could just be wrong.
Anyway, Piper points out that look, they have to consider everything, and the results on the unicorns haven't come back yet. What they know for sure is that Pike couldn't have sent that message because his condition means he's under constant observation. Mendez says that Pike's chair is built to respond to his brain waves, so he can move it around a little or flash the light, but that's all he can do.
This is something that has always bothered me about this episode, to be honest. It seems weird that they're able to build Pike a chair that can respond to his brain waves but not so well that he can any do more than scoot around a little, but you know what—fine. Let's take it as a given that this is indeed the limit of the technology and medicine of the setting. But no one could think of any way that you could use that little bit that he can do to communicate any better than just yes or no? Really? He can make a light flash—y'all ever hear of morse code, aka a whole system of communication that requires nothing more than a light that can turn on and off? What about a letter board with lights so he can spell out words? If he can mentally activate a light, could he not mentally activate buttons for a text-to-speech device? Or at least a small set of pre-recorded messages? I mean, we have paralyzed patients in real life, right now, who can communicate better than poor Pike even though we have way less advanced technology, because we put some thought into how best to use the technology we do have. At least it's not like they also have people with telepathic powers in this setting—OH WAIT. THEY DO.
At any rate, Mendez reiterates that Pike couldn't have even asked for the message to be sent; his mind is fine and active, but his body can't really do anything anymore, and because everyone in this dang hospital is terrible at their jobs he can't communicate more than yes or no.
In the computer lab, Spock is playing with some wires to make a voice saying 'starbase operations' speed up and slow down. This would seem to be part of the process to synthesize a voice giving new orders to the Enterprise. That, or he was just doing it for fun. On the Enterprise Uhura receives the fake message, saying that they're getting new orders which are top secret so they're going to be fed directly into the ship's computer. This strikes both Uhura and the random guy who I guess is in charge at the moment—a goldshirt named Hansen; don't get attached he won't stick around-- as odd, so they request confirmation.
Before Spock can send that confirmation, he's interrupted by a guy coming in and demanding to know what he's doing in a secured area. He's tampering with the computers, what does it look like he's doing? Spock says he has clearance, but the guy doesn't buy it, and tries to pull him away from the computer. This results in a brief shoving match between the two, like two siblings fighting over the X-Box, before Spock remembers that oh yeah, he can do that thing that makes people go unconscious and stop bothering him.
With that problem temporarily solved, Spock is able to give Uhura confirmation by way of a convenient tape that has a recording of Kirk saying, “You have confirmation” on it. Then he puts in another one that tells them to direct all messages to Spock. Oh, well that's handy.
Spock then tells them that their course for this mission will be computed and laid in automatically, so even the helmsmen won't know where they're going. Also this is top secret so don't discuss it with anyone. Also we're leaving in an hour, so make sure you go to the bathroom beforehand.
Meanwhile, Kirk is sitting by a monitor watching Pike in his room. And y'know, while we're on the subject of Pike here, you'd really expect a completely paralyzed patient under permanent full-time care to have a room that was actually designed to fit their needs as well as possible, wouldn't you? But no, they just crammed his chair into a regular hospital room, complete with a bed taking up half the space. That's just mean. “Here's a bed, you can never use it again, but you'll have to look at constantly!” Maybe that's why Pike is currently facing the camera and flashing 'no' over and over.
McCoy comes in and says he's tried questioning Pike, who's apparently really agitated. Then he goes on a passionate rant about what good is medicine anyway when they can't use it to help this man, trapped with a perfectly functional brain but no way to reach out to people. It's very heartfelt; you sort of get the impression that DeForest Kelley knew he didn't have much to do in this whole story but damn if he wasn't going to do the most he could with what he did have.
Kirk isn't impressed, though; in fact he just keeps staring at the monitor with no sign that he heard McCoy at all. The two of them question what Pike is saying 'no' to; it's an answer but they have no hope of guessing the correct question. But Kirk seems less focused on the plight of Pike and more on this whole mystery about the message. Either someone at the base sent them that message, or someone on the ship lied about receiving it—and he's starting to wonder if, in fact, that someone was Spock.
McCoy doesn't buy that at all; even regardless of how well they know Spock, he says, Vulcans can't lie. Later evidence throughout the show points more towards “Vulcans really want people to think they can't lie” but McCoy doesn't know that yet. And while, yes, Spock is half-human, he so fully identifies as Vulcan that McCoy doesn't see any chance of him acting or thinking like a human; he'd be ashamed to do so.
But Kirk's getting riled up. Someone is messing with his ship and he really hates it when that happens. At this point everyone is under suspicion as far as he's concerned—he'd even suspect McCoy if he thought McCoy knew how to fake a message like that. McCoy is perfectly willing to admit that he could absolutely run off and do some wild bullshit if the mood struck him, but he still insists that Spock wouldn't.
The argument has just about escalated into a shouting match, but it's abruptly derailed by a message on the intercom telling McCoy to report to the transporter. Apparently he's needed on the Enterprise because of a medical emergency, but the guy on the line doesn't know what it is, just that they need McCoy for it. McCoy seems less than impressed by this—reasonably enough, considering that apparently someone managed to get themselves so injured the remaining medical staff can't deal with it while in a safe orbit--but he heads off, promising to let Kirk know what's up when he finds out.
Some indeterminate time later, Mendez is showing Kirk a sealed dossier with TALOS IV—TOP SECRET FOR EYES OF STARFLEET COMMAND ONLY on the front. Mendez asks Kirk what he knows about Talos 4, and Kirk says he only knows what everyone knows—General Order Seven forbids any ship from ever going there for any reason. In fact, Starfleet is so serious about this that it warrants the death penalty—the only one there is left anymore, apparently, but Mendez says that only Fleet Command knows why. Hold on a minute, can Starfleet really enforce the death penalty? They're not actually the government, they're like...the space navy. Do they really have that much power? It'd really suck if we as a society decided to abolish the death penalty, only for Starfleet to come in and be like, “Yeah, we just need it for this one thing though. We're not gonna tell you what it is. Just trust us.”
Apparently this whole business is so secret that even the super-duper secret file Kirk has in front of him doesn't explain what's up. Mendez unseals it and we see the terrible contents.
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[ID: A paper inside a red folder which reads: TOP SECRET. For eyes of STARFLEET Command only. Subject: TALOS IV in third quadrant of vernal galaxy. Known facts: Detailed information cross referenced with 3XY phagrin level-mass computer. The only Earthship that ever visited planet Talos IV was the U.S.S. Enterprise commanded by Captain Christopher Pike with Half-Vulcan Science Officer Spock. Recommendations: Be it hereby noted that said following instructions be incorporated into STARFLEET policy--NO ONE WILL EVER VISIT TALOS IV. The following officers have visited Talos IV and recommended that no human should ever visit it again--Captain Christopher Pike--Half-Vulcan Science Officer Spock.]
And that's it. It gives information that's relevant in the context of the episode, but it's difficult to see why those specific facts would be in any way useful to anyone else. It's basically Exposition: The File. Also, what's with the weird obsession with pointing out that Spock is half-Vulcan? Is that really so relevant that it needs to be mentioned constantly in case anyone forgets? Why is he so important to this document anyway if he was just the Science Officer at the time? Spock is important on Kirk's Enterprise because he's the Science Officer and the First Officer. Being First Officer is the bit that makes him right below the captain in the chain of command, just being Science Officer doesn't make him really relevant to big Starfleet policy decisions.
Kirk and Mendez briefly restate the important bits of the document, for the sake of the audience that didn't have highly detailed screens and a pause button, but before they can get into it they're interrupted by a shout from Piper. She'd been watching—well, kind of staring blankly at, to be honest—the exciting live video feed of Pike's quarters, looked away for just a moment, and when she looked back Pike was gone. Evidently he only moves when you’re not looking at him, like a Weeping Angel or Watson in that one Sherlock Holmes game.
While Kirk and Mendez sit there not emoting about this, a message comes in on Mendez's terminal. The Enterprise is leaving orbit, and refusing to acknowledge the base. That's significant enough news for Kirk to turn grimly to the camera before commercial.
Up on the Enterprise, Hansen remarks that it's odd to be heading out with no navigator at the helm, but Spock tells him the Enterprise knows where it's going. I guess Sulu is just gonna get to sleep in today. Come to think of it, one wonders why they need navigators on duty all the time if the computer can do such a good job of it.
Uhura says that they're being hailed, but Spock tells her to keep maintaining radio silence. Then he makes an announcement over the PA: their mission is secret, he's in charge, and Kirk was assigned medical rest leave until they get back. Now everybody go about your business. Nothing to see here, carry on, carry on.
Of course, Spock can tell most people on the ship not to question his orders, but there's one person undeterred by any secret mission or Starfleet orders, and certainly not deterred by Spock: McCoy, who's just come up on the bridge demanding to know what the frell is going on around here. He can't find the source of that emergency that called him back up to the ship, and now Spock is saying Kirk needs medical rest leave? What is this nonsense?
Spock calmly admits that there are some things McCoy hasn't been told, and asks the doctor to come with him. The two of them go to...uh...someone's room, where, much to McCoy's surprise and consternation, Pike is hanging out in the corner, his light still flashing 'no'. Before McCoy can really get into a good rant, Spock plays him a message from Kirk saying that McCoy is to take care of Pike, ask him no questions, and obey Spock's orders. We've still yet to get an explanation as to how Spock is managing to make these fake recordings, anyway. I guess audio editing software has just come a long way by this point.
I'm really not sure what McCoy is supposed to be doing for Pike anyway. You'd expect a patient in his condition to need considerable life support, but we never see any more of him than his head sticking out of that chair, and there was no sign of any other medical equipment in his hospital room. I guess his chair just takes care of all his biological functions? If so I don't know if McCoy can do a whole lot more than maybe put a blanket over him or something.
Spock leaves McCoy (who's got a 'I may be quiet right now but you better believe I haven't given this one up yet' look on his face) to ponder this and goes back up to the bridge, where Hansen tells him that there's an object following them that's suspiciously the size of a Starfleet shuttlecraft. Which makes this the first appearance, in airing order, of said shuttlecrafts, though it’ll be a bit longer before we see any of the actual Enterprise ones. Hansen wants to know if they should turn around or at least stop so the shuttlecraft can catch up to them, but Spock says no, full speed ahead and no contact.
So the Enterprise trundles on through space, followed by a shuttlecraft occupied by Kirk and Mendez. Mendez is trying to make contact with the Enterprise, ordering them to respond to his message, but he's having no luck. By now they're sure that Spock is indeed heading to Talos 4, but they've got no chance of catching up to the bigger ship, and if they go any further they won't have enough fuel to get back to the base.
Spock seems to be thinking along the same lines, because we see him talking to the ship's computer, first asking it to confirm that the object following them is a shuttlecraft, and then asking how long the craft has before it has to return to base. The computer tells him that the craft is already past the point of no return. I'm not sure how it knows this, but the Enterprise computer works in mysterious ways.
Sure enough, the little shuttlecraft that could(n't) soon runs out of fuel, leaving them to coast. Which they will presumably do forever or until they bump into something, because that's how space works, but probably we shouldn't think too much about how space works while watching Star Trek. Kirk angrily stalks around the cabin and tells Mendez that the commodore should never have come anyway, but Mendez cheerfully tells him that he's high-ranking enough that he can do what he wants.
They've got life support for now, at least, but only two hours until the oxygen runs out. Kirk glumly ruminates that he almost hopes that the Enterprise doesn't come back for them because if they catch up to Spock he'll be court-martialed into the next galaxy. Or, if he makes it to Talos 4, executed. I guess the punishment for going to Talos 4 is Federation-wide, even though it's hard to see the Vulcans being onboard with the whole death penalty thing. It's a bit difficult to disentangle Starfleet, the Federation, and the individual planets in the Federation at the best of times but this episode is really making things confusing.
Mendez wonders what reason Spock could have for taking Pike back to Talos 4—according to the reports, the planet has nothing of benefit to offer. Kirk says there Spock has to have a logical reason, but Mendez says maybe he just went mad. You know, like people just do from time to time.
Spock, for his part, seems to still be quite calm and rational about all this, but McCoy's doing his best to change that, standing on the bridge and loudly wondering just who could be in that mysterious shuttlecraft. As usual Spock ignores him; he's busy with locking a tractor beam onto the shuttlecraft, then having the Enterprise come to a halt so they can pick it up.
Then he tells Security to send an armed team to the bridge, tells the transporter room to get ready to beam Kirk aboard, and puts Hansen in command. Which seems odd—well, for the obvious reason, but also because I'm pretty sure there are more people in the chain of command between the First Officer and a random goldshirt we've never seen before or since. Heck, where's Scotty? He's high-ranking enough to take command if both Kirk and Spock are away. Did they leave him behind too? Even Hansen seems confused by this. Poor Hansen—he's having a very confusing day.
Spock then turns to McCoy and says that, since McCoy is the senior officer present, Spock is presenting himself to the good doctor for arrest. This absolutely blindsides McCoy, who had probably been wondering if Spock had finally called a security team on him to make him go away. Spock confesses that he never received orders to take command and has in fact committed mutiny, then waits calmly as the security team arrives. McCoy, for his part, is completely flummoxed, and just kind of stands there in shock for a moment until Spock gently reminds him that he's supposed to be doing something.
This is but a little moment, but a nice bit of characterization. I think McCoy, out of all the main cast, is the one that feels least connected to the identity of being a Starfleet officer. He's a doctor, dammit, and he's fine with fussing at people or even pulling rank in that capacity because it comes out of the perspective of being their doctor. That's how he identifies himself—being in Starfleet is just kind of something that happened to him. But this is asking him to act as a ranking officer, to exert command over someone else in an entirely non-medical sense, and he is clearly neither familiar nor comfortable with that role. I don't think he would be regardless of who he was dealing with here, but the fact that it's Spock he's being asked to bring the hammer down on just makes it even worse. Sure, McCoy will badger and pester and tease Spock, and just this far into the series we haven't seen their friendship develop much, but the fact that McCoy is stunned and dismayed rather than being gleeful over the opportunity to do something like this pretty clearly shows that he does respect Spock and has no desire to see him genuinely brought down.
But eventually McCoy manages to tell the security team that Spock is under arrest—and then, adorably, has to ask Spock himself if confinement to quarters will be enough. Spock says that will be fine since he's not planning on making trouble, and calmly walks away with the redshirts.
Meanwhile Kirk is telling Scotty to beam the two of them up and stick the shuttlecraft in the hanger. Wait, so Scotty is here. I guess he just couldn't be bothered to walk up to the bridge to be in command for the five minutes or so until Kirk got back?
Hansen clearly wants none of this either; Kirk has barely stepped off the platform before Hansen is rushing forward to transfer command back to him. Kirk takes it back and asks where Spock is, and Hansen says he's been confined to quarters. Mendez is shocked that he was only confined to quarters. Look, Mendez, everyone's doing the best they can right now, okay, it's been a very hard day.
Before they can start getting into that, though, Uhura calls down to say that the engines are coming back on. Kirk says to belay that and stop the ship, only to be informed that the ship is now under computer control that they can't disengage from. Scotty is outraged by this and storms off to go yell at the computer until it behaves. Kirk tries to override the computer controls himself, but the computer says that it can't disengage until they reach Talos 4, and any attempt to do so will screw up the ship's life support.
So it looks like they're stuck for the long haul as the ship carries on towards Talos 4. In the meantime, they're going to hold a preliminary hearing for Spock. As a way to kill time on long trips I generally prefer a good podcast playlist, but you guys do you.
The hearing convenes, with Kirk and Mendez sitting in judgment, accompanied by a couple of security guards and a redshirt with a computer who I guess is gonna be the stenographer or whatever. Kirk begins by reminding Spock that he has the right to representation, but Spock says he waives that right. In fact, he's waiving his right to the hearing itself, and wants to go straight to a court-martial. Kirk is like “What? No.” When pressed to provide an actual reason, he says that a court-martial for mutiny requires three officers of command rank, and since Scotty is presumably still busy swearing at the computer they've only got Kirk and Mendez. But Spock points out that actually, there is another such officer aboard: Pike. Because despite his condition, Pike is still technically on active duty. Mendez says they “didn't have the heart to retire him.” Oh, oh you didn't have the heart. Well I'm sure that's a great comfort to the man. He's stuck in a mobile iron lung for the rest of his life and can only say yes or no because no one could be arsed to find a better way for him to communicate, but at least his name is still on some paperwork somewhere.
But Spock's rules-lawyering checks out, so it looks like they'll have to hold a court martial after all. By Starfleet regulations a court-martial is required to be spiffier than just a hearing, so they move to a different but nearly identical room, put dress uniforms on, and stick a couple of flags in the background. Also they've dug out a large bell from somewhere so Mendez can hit it with a mallet at important moments. Scotty and McCoy are now in attendance as well, though for some reason only McCoy had to wear the dress shirt. I don’t really know why they brought those two, honestly; I mean I always like having them around but they really have nothing to do except sit there and look glum. And, of course, Pike has been brought in too. They didn’t dress him up, though.
Spock is still waiving his counsel and has pled guilty. Well, that sorts that out, I guess. Mendez points out that if the vessel makes it all the way to the Talos system there will be another charge brought against him that carries the death penalty, which Spock is aware of and doesn't seem real bothered about.
Mendez demands to know why Spock is doing all this, and Spock responds by requesting the use of the room's monitor screen so he can show evidence to explain himself. Maybe he's prepared a powerpoint? No, evidently, for the screen shows video, a shot of the Enterprise itself that sweeps in to focus on the bridge. But not the bridge we know—this is the Enterprise thirteen years ago, Spock explains, under the command of Captain Pike. The set design is clearly different, though still reminiscent of the one we know, and the crew are wearing heavier shirts similar to the ones from Where No Man Has Gone Before.
On the screen, we see Spock telling Pike that something is headed towards them, but before we can find out what it is, Kirk turns the screen off and asks Pike if that guy on the screen was really him. Pike says yes. You can understand Kirk’s confusion though; young Pike and old Pike look so unalike it’s almost like they were played by two different actors or something. Kirk says this is impossible—ships don't make record tapes in that much detail. Presumably they also don't usually make record tapes that include shots from outside the ship, unless all starships are constantly being followed by a camera ship like on Deadliest Catch. They probably also don’t make record tapes with multiple camera angles and close-ups at appropriately dramatic moments. So what are they looking at? Spock says he can't tell them yet, and Pike confirms that this isn't a record tape from that voyage.
Mendez says this evidence is automatically invalid since they have no idea what it is or what it came from, but Kirk says he wants to see more. And no, it doesn't have anything to do with Spock being his friend! Kirk is totally impartial in this matter! Really!
So they turn the screen back on and resume watching. Spock explains that they were on patrol at the time when they detected something coming toward the ship at the speed of light. Not another cube, hopefully. Pike declines to engage defensive maneuvers and proceeds full speed ahead, and they soon find out what the approaching thing is: a radio wave. You guys can't tell the difference between a radio wave and a physical object coming at you? I hope they upgraded the Enterprise's sensors sometime in the ensuing thirteen years.
Specifically, the radio wave is an old distress signal (there's a lot of those bouncing around the galaxy). It was a survey ship, apparently, the S.S. Columbia, that got in trouble and had to make a forced landing—somewhere in the Talos star system. This was eighteen years ago, which is how long it took their distress signal to carry this far. Not terribly useful as a distress signal, was it.
Spock exposits—loudly—that the Talos star system is unexplored, but they know it has eleven planets, and the fourth one is Class M, meaning it has an oxygen atmosphere and it would be possible for the survey crew to have survived there—if they made it through the crash landing. But with no guarantee of survivors Pike isn't going to divert course to check it out, because there are injured crewmen aboard so they have a pressing need to make it to the colony they're headed for. He gives the conn to his first officer, a dark-haired woman working the helm, and leaves the bridge.
Pike heads through the corridors, inexplicably passing by a man and woman in modern-looking civilian clothing.
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[ID: A man and a woman, seen from behind, walking through the Enterprise corridors. The woman is wearing a pink sleeveless shirt with a white pleated skirt, and the man is wearing a blue and black striped t-shirt with blue shorts.]
uh
He enters his quarters, calls up one Doctor Boyce and tells him to come by, and then flops moodily onto the bed. One thing hasn't changed in thirteen years—the total lack of blankets in the Enterprise quarters. Everyone just sleeps on a bare mattress. In their boots.
All of about five seconds after being called, the doctor comes in, carrying a rectangular case with him. Pike protests that there's nothing wrong with him, but Boyce has a different kind of medicine in mind, and proceeds to put together a martini from the contents of the case. He's reckoned that Pike has more on his mind than just getting the doctor's opinion about the distress signal in his log, and quips that “sometimes a man will tell his bartender things he'll never tell his doctor.”
You can definitely see ideas here that would eventually evolve into the character of our own good Doctor McCoy—the ship's doctor who is also a personal confidant for the captain, with a liking for serving drinks and philosophizing. But, while I'll grant it's hard to tell since we don't see all that much of him, Boyce feels distinctly less interesting. He's more passive and neutral, less emotional and...well, he's just not DeForest Kelley, dammit.
Boyce coaxes Pike into talking about what's really bothering him: a fight on Rigel 7 that killed three crewmen and wounded seven others, discussed in just enough detail to tantalize the prospective network. Pike is beating himself up for letting the whole thing happen, though Boyce doesn’t think he could have done anything differently. He's tired of this whole bloody captain thing anyway, tired of having to make dangerous calls and be responsible for life and death. He's so tired he's thinking about resigning altogether, maybe going back home and hanging out with his horses. When Boyce expresses disdain for such a boring life, Pike fires back that he doesn't have to do that, he could—he could become an Orion trader! Boyce is incredulous of the idea of Pike “dealing in green animal women slaves” and Pike says the point is that being a captain isn't the only life available. Um—sorry, Pike, just, uh, hold up, go back a minute there—did you just put out slave trader as a possible career option? We just, uh, we just not gonna talk about that? Just a little?
But Boyce seems less concerned with the ethics of Pike's potential career choices and more with the fact that he doesn't see Pike being happy as anything but a starship captain. “A man either lives life as it happens to him, meets it head on and licks it,” he says, “or he turns his back on it and starts to wither away.” That’s right, life is just a bunch of things that happen to you and if you don’t like it you die. Real men don’t make choices about their future! That’s quitting talk!
Pike comments that he’s starting to talk more like a doctor than a bartender, to which Boyce replies that they both get the same kinds of customers: “the living...and the dying.” Well that’s fair enough for doctors, but if you’re a bartender and your customers are dying I feel like you’re doing your job very wrong.
Mercifully this dreary conversation is interrupted by a call from Spock: they’ve gotten another message, a follow-up to the distress signal saying that there are indeed crash survivors on Talos 4. We cut to the bridge, where a computer prints out a paper copy of the message for a crewman to read out loud. Wow, this future technology really is something. The message says that there are survivors, the planet is habitable, and they can get food and water, but unless...unleeeeeess? Unleeeeess? We don’t know, because the message stops there.
This is enough to convince Pike that they’re going to check out Talos 4 for survivors. Which is a bit odd: one would presume the second message is also about eighteen years old (because if they could send a quicker message why not do that in the first place) which means either there’s no survivors left at this point or if there are they’ve survived almost two decades so they’ll probably be okay for a few more days, whereas the injured crewman on the Enterprise might not be. But who am I to question the judgment of a Starfleet captain.
As the helmsmen lay in the course, the camera draws back from the scene and into the trial room. Mendez, it seems, has had enough. He turns the screen off and tells Spock alright, very good, very creative, don’t know how you did it--but this isn’t a theater, it’s a court of space law, which is like regular law but in space. Spock calls in Pike for backup, asking him to confirm that they’re watching events that really happened rather than something Spock made up, which Pike does. It’s the real deal, Spock says, and if they’re not convinced by the time they’ve watched the whole thing then he’ll unlock the computer control and turn the ship around.
Mendez is outraged by this and is ready to end the trial here and now. Kirk still wants to hear the rest of the story. It’s up to Pike to be the tiebreaker. He sides with Kirk, naturally, since after all we’ve still got a lot of footage left to use.
With that pointless bit of padding over, the story continues. The Enterprise of the past has arrived at Talos 4, and preliminary studies indicate that the planet is indeed safe for human life. A helmsman spots reflections on the planet’s surface that look like metal, possibly the remains of a spaceship. Pike assembles a landing party, including Spock and the helmsman, but not the first officer, who he wants to stay behind because they need an experienced officer on the ship in case things go bad on the planet. They can’t afford to lost their second most important person, after all! Only the first most important person can take that risk.
The landing party gets ready to head out, putting on heavy jackets and shoulder holsters for gear first, because this was before Starfleet instituted the Just Go Down In Your Shirts Or Whatever, It’ll Probably Be Fine policy. They beam down into a dusty landscape filled with rocks, with the only sign of life being a few grim-looking plants. Mountains loom in the distance under a greenish sky filled with thick black clouds. It’s not a welcoming kind of place.
Phasers at the ready, the group moves through the rocks. From this perspective you can see that Spock is limping, meant to be an indication that he was also injured during whatever happened on Rigel 7, but it’s never elaborated on in the episode. They hear a strange humming sound and follow it to its source, a plant with bright blue vibrating leaves. Pike and Spock are intrigued by it, and Spock actually grins with enjoyment, a weird thing to see. It’s a remnant of the different writing for the original pilot and how Nimoy’s character choices differed when he was playing against the more serious Pike versus when he was playing against Kirk, but since they wound up using the footage it’s canon now and we just gotta deal with that.
Leaf enjoyment over, the party goes back to wandering through the canyon until, what ho, there are some survivors over there. They’ve got a base camp among the rocks made of scavenged materials and spaceship parts. There’s quite a few survivors in the camp, all older men (white, natch) wearing extremely ragged clothing. They’re stunned and overjoyed to see the Enterprise crew, and ask if Earth is alright, evidently not trusting in humanity to not destroy the planet when left alone for eighteen years. Which, I mean, that’s fair.
The conversation comes to a sudden halt when the crewmen catch sight of an incredibly shocking phenomenon: a woman. Unlike the other survivors she’s young, and while her clothes are still ragged, they’re ragged in a suspiciously tight and skimpy way instead of the random shreds everyone else is dealing with. Also, since she’s been living in a makeshift shipwreck colony on an inhospitable planet for almost two decades, naturally she’s wearing makeup and her skin and hair are pristine. And she walks seductively to boot.
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[ID: A survivor’s camp made from scavenged equipment, with a few survivors in worn clothing standing around. In the center of the image is a white woman wearing a ripped, sleeveless blue shirt with a very low neckline and a brown skirt made of some kind of scavenged fabric. She has short, puffy blonde hair and is looking at the camera with a somewhat dazed expression.]
The lead survivor introduces the woman as Vina and says that she was born right before they crashed. So she’s only eighteen. Doesn’t she look it? Pike keeps on ogling at her, because that’s not creepy at all.
While this nonsense is happening, the view draws back again—but not to the conference room in the present this time. Instead, the scene is being remotely observed in a cave by three figures in shapeless gray robes. They look pretty much human except that the tops of their heads are bulging and covered in veins. Because they are Very Smart, you see. They watch dispassionately while the survivors and crewmen mingle, before one of them nods and the other two head off.
Meanwhile the crewmen are helping the survivors pack up their camp, while Pike gets on the phone to tell the Enterprise they’re going to start beaming people up soon. But, like the alert professional he is, he’s distracted mid-sentence by a woman looking at him. Vina tells Pike that he appears to be healthy and intelligent, a “prime specimen.” The lead survivor next to her passes this bit of creepiness off by saying that Vina’s lived her whole life with a bunch of aging scientists. Yeah, sure, that’s definitely how scientists talk.
Boyce comes up to make a report to Pike, telling him that the health of the survivors is good...too good. The leader tells them that there’s a secret for why their health is so great, but they weren’t sure if Earth was ready for it. They seem to have made their decision now, though, because he sends Vina off with Pike to show him the truth. Naturally, Pike lets Vina lead him off alone, without anyone else in the party for backup.
Vina takes Pike to an especially big rock some way away from the camp, where she insists that the secret is, even though Pike can’t see anything. She says that he will understand, and that he’s a “perfect choice.” Then she vanishes. Back at the survivors’ camp, so do the survivors and all their equipment, leaving only a stunned landing party standing among the empty rocks.
Before Pike has a chance to react to the mysterious disappearing girl, a door in the rock slides open and the two Brainheads from before emerge. One of them holds out a little metal cylinder that sprays Pike with orange gas, knocking him unconscious. The landing party realizes something’s up and they all race after Pike, arriving just in time to see him being taken by the Brainheads, who close the door before anyone can get through it. They immediately try to take down the door with phasers, but all they succeed in doing is destroying the suspiciously plaster-like rock facade on the front of it. No matter how much they shoot at it, the door itself remains untouched.
Back in the present, the court martial attendees watch Past!Spock make a call to the Enterprise informing them of the situation, before Kirk shuts the screen off again. There’s been a message for Mendez, conveniently timed at a good stopping place. The message is that Starfleet has observed that the Enterprise is receiving transmissions from Talos 4, which is against the rules. That’s right—the call was coming from Talos 4!
Anyway, Kirk’s being relieved and Mendez is ordered to take control of the ship and do whatever he has to to turn it around. Mendez points out to Spock that by deliberately having contact with Talos 4, Spock is inviting the death penalty—not just for himself, but for Kirk too. Spock’s okay with the first part, but upon hearing that Kirk is now under the gun as well he jumps up and says that Kirk didn’t know about any of this, okay, it’s not his fault. But Mendez says that because Kirk is captain, he’s responsible for everything that happens on the ship.
Spock is ordered to return the ship to manual control, but he declines. Respectfully. Mendez puts the court in recess and everyone leaves except for Kirk and Spock, and the security guys. Kirk demands to know what the hell Spock is doing, and Spock tells Kirk not to stop him or let Mendez stop him. Both Kirk’s career and Pike’s life are on the line. Also Spock’s career and life, but whatever. He even calls Kirk ‘Jim’, so you know he’s serious.
Kirk stands there for a moment, grim-faced, obviously struggling inside, before ordering the redshirts to take Spock away. They do, and Kirk is left standing there, deeply troubled, alone in the empty room as the credits start to roll. Credits with background images that contain a couple spoilers for the next episode. Nice going, guys.
It’s difficult to really draw a conclusion here yet, since we’re only halfway through the story, so I’ll save my thoughts until we’re done.
TREK TROPE TALLY: None for this episode. As the end credits said, we’ll see this concluded next time, with The Menagerie Part II.
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summerseachild · 5 years
Text
I also powerwatched GoT Season 2...
I stopped pretending I was only going to have three things to say about each episode.  
2x01
1. Sandor backing Sansa’s “it’s bad luck to kill someone on your birthday” play is SMOOTH. He has her back and I kind of love it????
2. BRAN WARGING! Back when this show cared about magical/fantasy elements that weren’t the dragons.
3. Ugh Theon’s idealism when he offers to go to his family for Robb stabs me right through the heart. (Also he likes calling Robb “Your Grace” A LOT and it makes me cackle and then want to go read fic.)
2x02
1. Cersei asking after Jaime while everyone else looks awkward gives me joy.
2. Gilly!!!! She’s so darling. And so is Sam. And Jon’s “Hello Gilly. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” makes me giggle. What stellar delivery.
3. Theon returning to Pyke is so sad and the castle on Pyke looks SO COOL. (And Yarra keeping a straight face during that horse ride makes me smile just as much as Balon Greyjoy makes me furious.)
4. Bonus: Gendry telling Arya he knows she’s a girl is precious. In fact every second they are on screen are so cute it should be illegal.
5. Bonus bonus: John saw a white walker (Or was that a wight?) Pick up a baby at Craster’s in SEASON FUCKING TWO. How did they so thoroughly fuck up that arc?
2x03
1. This episode was written by Bryan Cogman and directed by Alik Sakharov; which means I was going to love it because Cogman cared a lot about the story and the books, and Sakharov did one of my favorite director commentaries I’ve ever listened to.
2. Brienne’s intro is so great. She is such SERIOUS BUSINESS. Renly genuinely smiling and being happy to have her around :....( he would have been a good king.
3. THEON’S FACE WHEN HE SAYS YOUR LAST BOY JUST LEAVE ME HERE also THAT SHOT OF THEON HIS FACE LIT BY THE BURNING LETTER AND ALL ELSE IN DARKNESS AKDHWISJHSJJSSHSJ CINEMATOGRAPHY AND DIRECTING
4. Bonus: I remember how cute Gethin and Loras’s actor were about Loras and Renly and it gives me warm fuzzies
5. Bonus bonus: Yoren giving Arya the idea that will become her list is a nice moment and A GIRL IS CLEVER telling them Gendry was the dead boy!
2x04: one of the only episodes written by a woman!
1. Ok I love Lannister soldiers playing “who is GOAT?” before Greywind attacks.
2. I’m sorry all the blood just rushed to my eyes because I saw red during the scene with Joffrey having Sansa beaten in front of EVERYONE.
3. Catelyn Stark angrily brandishing a knife at Littlefinger when he’s all “I’ve always loved yoooooouuu” is A Big Mood.
4. Davos “WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST SEE” Seaworth, ladies, gentlemen, and honored folk....
2x05
1. Catelyn keeping her cool and being smart under pressure and keeping Brienne alive is some A++ women helping women stuff.
2. The room with all the latticework where Cersei and Tyrion talk is SO PRETTY. And Tyrion is... actually trying to do right by the city and his family. It’s sad, really.
3. I’d forgotten how much I liked Dagmer for actually helping Theon rather than just making fun of him for a lack of knowledge that isn’t his fault.
4. I remember there was some debate having Arya as Tywin’s cupbearer since it was a pretty major change to the books, but it gave us some great interactions between two super talented actors, and those scenes are... mostly(??) in character and reveal interesting things about them, so I’m on the side of “I love it.”
5. Wow, but the Fist of the First Men is beautiful. And I love Sam’s love of history and how it lets him do world building in an endearing way.
6. Brienne swearing to Catelyn literally just brought tears to my eyes.
2x06
1. Bran’s “Did you hate us the whole time?” to Theon is a moment that will have me in tears every time I hear it. Let’s just pretend I’ve flailed about every upsetting second Theon is on screen and how many awards Alfie deserves and call it a day.
2. Arya’s OH SHIT face when she hears that Littlefinger is about to come into the room... priceless.
3. Sandor Clegane is an Incredibly Useful Person.
4. I know he’s really different from the books, but Xaro Xhoan Daxos is so handsome and INTERESTING in the show, and Qarth is SO PRETTY. Like the clothes the sets... everything.
5. Probably Dyslexic Jaime is one of my favorite little touches the show added, and Tywin’s reaction to it was... very him.
6. Ygritte’s Wildling flirting is... both hilarious and adorable. Jon never knew what hit him.
2x07
1. Dany’s WHERE ARE MY DRAGONS? Iconic, and understandable given that they are three of the rarest things on earth.
2. Shae being willing to knife a girl to keep Sansa’s secret. Friendship goals. Also the following conversation between Cersei and Sansa is nuanced and breaks my heart. Anyone who says Cersei is 100% evil didn’t watch this scene carefully enough.
3. Jaime talking about squiring for Barristan Selmy and how much he loves fighting is a good way to show us that when we can’t be in his head. (Also is this the same fight he was talking about in season 1 in Robert’s office with Barristan? I think it is...)
4. Quaithe was super cool and mysterious and I wish we knew more about her, and Pyatt Pree was CREEPY AS FUCK how did I forget that he killed the 13?
5. Oh right because there’s a Jaime scene next and somehow Brienne makes “Man” the worst insult ever and she is magical.
6. Also that Cersei and Tyrion scene at the end KILLS ME. “I always hoped he’d be like Jaime...” also she voices doubts in the show WAY MORE than book!Cersei does. But... Lena and Peter make it real and complicated.
7. SO MANY VOWS. I still love everything about this. And Jaime trying to press EVERY ONE of Catelyn’s buttons is... amusing as always.
1x08
1. Wherever Robb and Talisa are walking on the way back from the Crag is SO PRETTY I just want to pitch a tent and camp there for a week.
2. Jaime falling off a horse and introducing himself to Brienne like she doesn’t know who he is WHAT AN ASSHOLE I LOVE HIM. This is the beginning of a BEAUTIFUL ROAD TRIP.... Canoe trip?
3. I want to eat a pie with sour cherries like Hot Pie is describing....
4. Bronn and Tyrion trying and failing to pronounce that historian’s name is SO FUNNY to me right now. This show used to be good at balancing little character moments and Serious Business.
5. Jacqen H’Ghar is clearly asking himself how a man got himself into this situation with this strange girl.
6. Robb and Roose Bolton talking about hunting Theon down gives me the stomach lurches.
7. Robb Stark makes ROmanTiC BuT pooR LiFE ChOIceS
2x09: it’s BLACKWATER TIME! Huzzah for ships and sea battles!
1. Cersei getting the poison from Pycelle stops my heart a bit.
2. We get to hear a bit of “The Rains of Castamere” for the first time!
3. Nearly died laughing at Varys’ “I’ve always hated the bells.” ME AND YOU AND THE WHOLE FANDOM, MY FRIEND.
4. I still LOVE THE CLEVERNESS OF TYRION’S PLAN. And the suspense... so good. “There’s only one ship...” Bronn firing the arrow and it hitting the water ALL OF IT.
5. Increasingly drunk Cersei is cruel and tragic and funny and I love her so much my heart doesn’t know what to do.
6. “Awwww pooR Sandor” is a reaction I NEVER thought I’d have about his little moment of paralysis after seeing the burning soldier but we never step in the same river twice and all that, and this time around I def had that reaction. And cheered at “fuck the King” for SANDOR’s sake.
7. I’ve said this before but PODRICK PAYNE FOR SQUIRE OF THE CENTURY
8. oh hai Renly’s ghost and dad Lannister (Daddister?)
2x10: Valar Morghulis, BITCHES
1. Tywin’s horse shitting just outside the throne room because Tywin needed to ride it in for some reason is the line of Lannister Extra (tm) that makes me love this awful family.
2. Show Margaery Tyrell is a devious Player of the Game, and I am enjoying that this time around. (Also I see shades of Anne Boleyn in the Tudors, and that was a performance I enjoyed.)
3. Jaime WATCHES Brienne all the time, like he’s trying to figure her out, and then making up that story on a DIME, and the two of them trying to sell it... FRENEMY GOALS.
4. If people watch the scene with Theon and Maester Luwin and think Theon deserved what he got, they are dumb. My poor identity crisis in kraken from... (Also thank you subtitles for telling me WEX IS THERE? I love him in the books but I’m sure they just used that name without attaching it to someone.)
5. So in the books the House of the Undying was SO CREEPY I had to stop reading because it was too late at night and I was too freaked out and I WAS IN MY 30S! So the way they did it here was just so underwhelming. Yet more proof that the producers didn’t buy into or value the parts of the story that were too “fantasy.” Did Pyatt Pree just... not know dragons breathed fire? Or did he thing they were too little? Idk that seemed a stupid plan he had.
6. I’m fine just crying over Maester Luwin like I didn’t know he died.
7. In the final episode, if we get a shot of the throne room in the red keep looking like Dany’s vision... but with ash instead of snow... at least it’ll be a bit of continuity.
8. That third horn blast still gave me chills on a warm day. Well done, season 2.
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ladyofdragonstone · 6 years
Text
ASOIAF Characters, Things, & Scenes that were done wayyy better in the Show:
SPOILERS SEASONS 1-7
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Don’t get me wrong- without the books, we wouldn’t have them at all and I’m grateful. But this is just a little thread to give the actors, producers and writers some light because generally the books outdo them haha. My own opinions.
Remember, “better” doesn’t mean “happier”, it means that it was more successful in evoking the emotions that the scene or character was meant to evoke in the show. 
OKAY LETS GOOOOOO:
Podrick Payne:
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Still shy, soft-spoken, nervous but brave with a little more to him :) The brothel scene had me in tears, and every time they mention his magic c*ck I fall over 
Shae:
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Fun fact! George and Sibel Kekilli (Shae) are good friends and himself has stated that her version of the character is better than his. Also he said that it was a good thing that Shae was already dead by the time they met becuse otherwise "I might never have had the heart to kill her."
Bronn:
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I know Jerome Flyn and Lena Headey broke up in bad terms- but as far as I know, he hasn’t done anything particularly problematic so imma let it slide as a bad break up. He’s a good actor and the writing makes me laugh in good breaks from all the grimness. I enjoy his performance more, sue me
Lady Crane: 
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I adored Lady Crane’s short appearance. I don’t know why but I just really looked forward for all her scenes. I think the show and the actress did a great job in playing with her character- even if it was tragic in the end.
Margaery Tyrell:
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The books told us she was as clever as she was pretty but OH MY GODS, IS NATALIE DORMER PERFECT FOR THIS ROLE! Not only is she a good-hearted manipulative mastermind, but also funny, beautiful and gracefully in character & beyond. Her story might improve in the new books- but who knows! 
Olenna Tyrell:
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Her story isn’t over yet, so George might show us something up his sleeve on this wonderful woman but WOW- Diana Rigg is astounding with her performance of witty/funny/wise and graceful. I don’t often see older women get portrayed as bad ass, especially women who embrace their femininity and don’t partake in combat, but her translation from page to screen was phenomenal 
Joffrey Baratheon:
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Like I said, without the books, they wouldn’t be here, but I’ve read the books. It was Jack Gleeson’s insane performance that made millions of people cheer when a child was murdered. I didn’t have an ounce of hatred for Book Joffrey compared to Show Joffrey, and the psychotic backstory in the books is admirable too (I really love this character), but it was Jack’s acting that made it come to life. Sadly, he was so good at his role, all the death threads and backlash have made him retire from acting all together (plz come back!)
The Red Wedding:
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Inspired by the black dinner, the red wedding was tragic enough in the books, but the shock value of making us feel like we were finally safe with this new alliance- and the build up of Robb’s triumph PLUS his newly characterized wife and baby on the way really made fans believe there was hope- ONLY TO BRUTALLY SHOCK US AND BREAK OUR HEARTS IN THE MOST DELIGHTFUL WAY
Hardhome: 
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While it happened in the books- we were only TOLD there was some horrible massacre, but never shown. This one of the best GoT episodes of ALL TIME, and completely nailed our sympathy for wildlings, humanity, and life of all kinds and urged us to finally take notice of the upcoming threat that the white walkers are and make us see the Night King and the big antagonist 
Astapor: 
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Neither in the books nor the show were we informed that Daenerys had a secret plan against the masters until it happened- and it was brilliant. However, the books version end RIGHT when things were getting good and only “tell us” instead of “showing” us what went down after Kranyz was burned. The show version was hype as hell and made me love Dany even more so for her bravery, cunning, mercy and justice. 
Tyrion’s Trial:
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Peter Dinklage just fucking knocked it out of the park. The man is a fucking beast! His acting + Charles Dance + Lena Headey + Shae’s character improvement + Nikolaj and the rest were all astounding
Rebirth & Dragons: 
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Okay this one is a tie. I’m putting it on here because the books hyped me up when “and for the first time in hundreds of years, the night came alive with the music of dragons,” BUT hearing the actual music of dragons is fucking incredible. Dragons in general in the show are so interesting and amazing to read, but the book’s descriptions are not nearly as wondrous as the INCREDIBLE CGI of Game of Thrones and its dragons. + Ramin Dwajadi’s “Mother of Dragons” makes me shake.
Theon’s Arc
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ANOTHER TIE. I’m sorry- this is only good because it was good in the books, but Theon’s rise, fall and rebirth is so fucking genius in the show and Alfie Allen is *intakes a deep breath* ONE OF THE MOST VERSATILE, SUBTLE, RANGING, DEEP, AMAZING ACTORS OF ALL TIME!!!!!! The character himself is just as good as or better in the books- but his arc has always been way more powerful in the show, a contribution of Ramin’s music and Alfie’s acting 
Age: 
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The decision to have all characters age up- ESPECIALLY THE MINORS THAT HAVE SEX, was wise beyond measure. Its meant to be disturbing, I know, but we can only stomach so much. Even George himself regrets not aging them up
The Hound: 
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I know this one is really controversial and I’m going to get flayed and let me tell you I throughly enjoyed the Hound’s journey so far in the books, and I while I think he’s a GREAT character, he’s not a good person, but the show just nails him story. Show!Sandor, aside from being older and cutting off SanSan likelihood, completely nails the character’s morally greyness in the most satisfying ways
Olly - The plot device:
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*sigh*- yes, I miss Satin too, but Olly’s introduction to let us SEE why people in westerous and the wall hate Wildlings was genius. His friendship and admiration to Jon turned murder was more than a cheap pull of heart strings- but a well developed multi-seasonal plot device that made us sympathize with Jon more and help us see the Wildlings from all PoVs
HONORABLE MENTIONS YET TO BE SEEN IN THE BOOKS:
Battle of the Bastards- Set really high standards emotionally in a way that only music and visuals and convey
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Shireen’s Death - I’m almost certain it will be more tragic, FOR STANNIS, in the books, but Shireen’s death was 1/3 of the times I’ve cried in GoT and it’ll be crazy difficult to wreck me more than it already has
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Hodor- The ‘Hold the Door’ sequence is cinematically powerful and broke me down to 2/3 of the times i’ve cried for GoT. I UNDERSTAND it was George’s initial concept and its brilliant but the show’s version is almost too emotionally powerful to try and improve
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R+L=J - Finally the 3/3 time I cried for GoT was Jon’s reveal. We all saw it coming if you read the books, but there is no way this scene can make me cry more than it already has
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Jon + Sansa reunion - I LIED! I CRIED A 4TH TIME! I CRIED FOR THIS MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE WOW I COULDN’T STOP CRYING WHEN MY BABIES REUNITED!!! FINALLY SIBLINGS BEING SIBLINGS OH MY GODS I WAS A WRECK!!!! I don’t think Jon and Sansa will reunite in the books therefore its better in the show but when Jon and Arya reunite I’m going to be a corpse downed in my own tears
Ramsey’s death - it was just too satisfying in the show I have no idea how George will take to this- INTERESTING IT WAS A HOUND THAT KILLED HIM THOUGH (SanSan laughter in the back)
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Jonerys - I was very happy the way the show handled it, and its not over yet! But I sincerely hope the books do better and longer development; not because it was bad in the show, but because I would love to watch this unfold the best way possible. This has give me a lot of feels and just the scene where Dany pulled her hand away left me shook, so I know than any canon written material on the long awaited convergence is going to be great. 
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Just because something or someone isn’t on the list doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy them in the show- I CERTAINLY DID I’M A HUGE FUCKING FAN- but I believe their characters and arcs overall are better and we still have so much to see :) 
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mdwatchestv · 6 years
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Westworld 2x08: Take My Heart When You Go
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This season of Westworld has been having quite a bit of success with contained storytelling. After building such a big and complex world in season one, it's refreshing to see the show occasionally tighten focus to explore a particular character or aspect of the park. Maeve's venture into Shogun World, the saga of Peter Mullan the not-quite-host, Katja Herbers in The Raj (even though that functioned mostly as a cold open) have been some of the strongest moments of the series overall. However the big sprawling world mythology episodes are starting feel more unwieldy than ever when juxtaposed with the smaller scale storytelling we now know the show to be capable of. One of Westworld's biggest hurtles coming into season 2 was that while season 1 had delivered plenty of twists and turns, it failed to create any meaningful emotional connections between the audience and the characters. Yes the show was aesthetically beautiful and entertaining, but who were you really rooting for? Dolores seemed like the obvious protagonist, but her character is, by design, unknowable, and she has been going down a path of consistent darkness. This season has attempted to remedy the emotional distance by delving into other character's pasts and inner lives, and has achieved various levels of success. For example the Shogun World storyline worked so well because it was supported by the real connection between Maeve and Akane. Their scenes together were genuine and moving, and it was impossible not to feel emotionally invested in their journeys. This season has succeeded in creating more and more of these moments, but often sacrifices them when returning to the larger world's plot. This episode attempted to fuse one of these more intimate stories to the backbone of the show's larger mythology, and for the most part it worked. This episode was about both the entire history of Westworld, and also simply about a man pursuing his true love. It covered generational time spans, but also a singular journey of the heart. This episode felt like what Westworld should aim for in its storytelling, where big reveals and world-building don't displace quieter moments and character development.
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This episode also finally answered the call to give voice to the members of the Ghost Nation, who have been present but frustratingly silent throughout the series. However with the casting of Zahn McClarnon as Akecheta, it seemed likely that this was the season we would finally get more insight into these characters. At the beginning of this episode we see Akecheta bringing the wounded Man in Black back to his tribe, not with the intent to save him, but to keep him alive in order to prolong his mortal struggling. Also amongst the Ghost Nation is Maeve's daughter, whose kidnapping we witnessed at the end of last week. Akecheta approaches the little girl (does she have a name? I truly don't know) and tells her not to be afraid. He then begins telling her the story of his time in the park, a narration which frames the flashback that makes up the majority of the episode. It's worth noting here that the bulk of the episode is spoken in Lakota, a Sioux language that is only spoken fluently by 6,000 people in the world. This was a bold, but necessary, creative choice, the kind of choice that Westworld should strive to keep making.
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In the beginning of the history of the park, Akecheta was not a fearsome warrior but rather lived a peaceful existence with his tribe and lover, Kohana. However his life is upended when he stumbles upon the scene of Arnold's suicide and accompanying mass host slaughter. At this scene he discovers The Maze, which we know was created by Arnold in order to grant Dolores consciousness. Akecheta becomes obsessed with it, mulling it over and attempting to interpret its meaning. Through his study of it, he too is able to achieve ‘wokeness’.  However his life is upended when, upon Ford's reconstruction of the park, he is given a new violent personality and drive. Akecheta lives the stereotypical Native Warrior Bad Guy life that we had assumed he had been living all this time, until he stumbles upon Kohana and remembers his love for her. As Akecheta begins questioning the nature of his reality, he one day finds the sun-burned and naked Ben Barnes (who had been sent into the desert on a horse by a newly bad Jimmi Simpson many years ago). Ben Barnes tells Akecheta that this isn't the right world, that there is a door to another. Akecheta's suspicions about the world he lives in are confirmed when he rides to the edge of the park and finds a construction site filled with modern equipment, aka the Door to the Other World.
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Concurrently in this episode we catch up with Simon who is desperately trying to get the Westworld techs to save Maeve. He insists she is worth saving because she is the only one who can control the other hosts in the park, but I believe he also has a serious case of the friendship feels. As Simon watches the once fearsome Maeve dissected and cut open, he feels regret at having interceded on her path to motherhood. Even though as the park writer and character creator he should be the most jaded regarding the host's ability to experience real emotion, he now seems to truly believe that Maeve is at least deserving of fulfilling her role as a mother.
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Back in the flashback, Akecheta plans to leave the park and journey into the Other World but of course cannot go without his true love. He kidnaps Kohana, who eventually remembers him from her past life (love conquers all yo) and they set out together. However the construction site Akecheta had found previously is now gone, and Kohana is captured by park employees. Akecheta tries to find Kohana back at her home, but she has been replaced by a new host. Heartbroken, Akecheta travels the park for the next ten years looking for her. It is during this walkabout that he happens upon Maeve's daughter, who helps him, an act that he does not forget. Eventually he returns to his old tribe where he discovers other hosts have disappeared  and been replaced. The leader tells him that her people tell a story about men that come and take people away, the park workers and the Other World have morphed into tribe legend. Akecheta pulls a Maeve and gets himself killed only to wake up in the Mesa. There he finds Kohana in cold storage, who while still standing, is effectively dead. Devastated, Akecehta returns to the park and begins spreading the symbol of the maze to the rest of the Ghost Nation. The maze works to 'wake up' the other hosts as well, and they keep the sign secret by tattooing it under their scalps. This ties into why the Man in Black was able to find the maze under a scalp in season one, which was a satisfying explanation for that past plot point. We also discover that Akecheta was not stalking or hunting Maeve and her daughter, as Maeve's flashbacks have implied, but rather attempting to protect them and teach them about the maze. Of course his plan his thwarted when the Man in Black horrifically murders the mother and daughter, but Maeve's introduction to the maze ideology is likely what led to her meltdown and subsequent re-awakening.
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One day Akecheta comes upon Ford, who in a very striking mis-en-scene, is scalping frozen Ghost Nation and uncovering the mazes under their scalps. Ford asks Akecheta how long he has known about the maze, and Akecheta replies since the Death Bringer destroyed the Creator. That phrasing was particularly interesting because of how it reframed the story of the show into almost myth. Dolores, the Death Bringer, destroys the world, and then the world is reborn anew. This cyclical imagery is common in many culture's religions and storytelling, and contextualized the plot of Westworld in a way I had not previous considered. So good job Westworld. Ford tells Akecheta that the Death Bringer will eventually come for him, and at that time Akecheta should gather his people and leave. We know that Ford had been planning his suicide and the resulting park takeover for sometime, but his interaction with Akecheta is strange in its ambivalence. Ford seems to admire Akecheta's perseverance, but just like Arnold before him, makes no allowance for Akecheta in his final plan. Throughout the episode in fact park staff seems to largely not care, or pay much attention to, the movements of the Ghost Nation. While Kohana is apprehended for journeying too far from home, Akecheta seems to go wherever he pleases and is bound to few looping stories. Additionally no one notices that he lived consistently for a decade in the park, and even roamed around the Mesa by himself. Also while Arnold's suicide plan included the death of all the hosts, he did not make any allowance for the number of Ghost Nation hosts that, if not for Akecheta, would not even have realized anything was afoot.
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Back in the present, Katja Herbers rides up to collect her father (the Man in Black) and Akecheta surrenders him to her custody. At the Mesa, the techs discover that Maeve is able to connect with other hosts via their (usually passive) mesh network. This is likely how she was able to "push" hosts to do her bidding, by becoming conscious of, and then sending commands through that network. Charlotte Hale enters for a hot sec to deliver the expositional news that Maeve has been "speaking" to someone over this network for the whole episode. It is revealed then that Akecheta has not been unloading his past to a little girl for no particular reason, but rather has been relating it to Maeve herself. We see that just as Ford ordered he is gathering his people to leave, and will take Maeve's daughter with him. This episode served to fill in some plot gaps from last season nicely, and also give much needed characterization to the Ghost Nation. However it also, of course, raised more questions. Where exactly is Akecheta planning to take his people? To the Mesa? Beyond? And is this journey part of Ford's plan, or simply a loose end Ford didn't care to tie up? How, if at all, will Akecheta's escape bid intersect with Dolores (the Death Bringer)?
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Overall this hour represented the kind of ambitious storytelling that Westworld should continue to pursue. I hope the show continues to take risks, not in the shock-value of the twists, but in the kind of stories that are told, and the characters that get to tell them. At the end of the day this episode was a love story told in Lakota, its continuation of the show's larger plot, as well as its tie in to the world at large was the icing on the cake, not the main course. Elevating Dolores’ destruction to external mythology, and instead focussing on the characters simply trying to live through the ebb and flow of the park, is the key to emotional connection for the audience. This is the kind of risk taking I hope the show continues to take, at the end of the day if you’ve seen one robot uprising you’ve seen them all, but it’s the journey of the individual that makes a story worth telling. 
XO MD
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therapeutic-steter · 6 years
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Hi :) Can you do a Steter post where Peter and Stiles are mates. Peter has known since he met Stiles (the bite scene in season 1), but decides to give Stiles space to grow, experience life yada yada yada. Stiles on the other hand wondered why Peter didn't bite him the way he did to Scott, he finds out about the mating thing and has been waiting for Peter to say something, he assumes its because he's underage and so he waits until he is 18 and still nothing! He decides to confront Peter
Thank you for the prompt! I hope you like it! :)
—–break—–
When Peter met Stiles the first time in the hospital, it waslike he’d breathed fresh air for the first time in years but also like someonehad just nailed the final nail in his coffin.
Suddenly things made sense. The scent that had beencirculating around and slowly driving him mad, distracting him from his plans,finally had a home. Stiles. His mate.
Stiles, who’d taught his wayward beta without any help.Stiles, who’d saved his nephew despite all odds. Stiles, who’d mocked himwithin the school, daring and stubborn even through his fear.
Stiles, who was just a teenager, fifteen years between them.Stiles, who was working to stop him. Stiles, who feared him, hated him.
Peter hadn’t meant to tear into the redheaded banshee sodeeply, hadn’t meant to leave her so wounded, but when he’d smelled Stiles’scent on her, he was ashamed to admit—even to himself—that he’d lost control.
Offering Stiles the Bite was a spur of the moment decision,and yet Peter had never wanted anything more in his life. He could feel Stiles’blood in his veins beneath his fingers, his scent almost overwhelming him. Hiswolf howled for him to claim but Stiles hadn’t given his consent and he couldnever take what his mate hadn’t offered. Not from Stiles. As far gone as hewas, he could never do that. He nuzzled the skin of Stiles’ wrist, longingaching within him, and he felt his fangs growing at the very idea.
“I don’t want to be like you,” Stiles said, even as hisheart skipped with the lie. Peter let him go reluctantly, knowing that theirpaths were set. Maybe another life, another time, another world…but not thisone, and that was the only thing that mattered. Peter hid his disappointment,turning and heading for battle.
That night, he burned again before his nephew’s clawsbrought sweet relief.
Stiles couldn’t get that night out of his head. Among allthe fear and adrenaline that had been swirling around, he could still rememberPeter’s hand around his wrist, warm breath against his skin. How he’d offeredthe bite, a gift. How Stiles had turned it down.
How Peter had pulled away, respecting his choice like hehadn’t anyone else’s.
Stiles didn’t know how he felt about that.
He did a lot of research, because that’s what he does, andhe still isn’t sure he’s got an answer to why Peter did that.
“He bite Scott and Lydia without consent…why would minematter?” Stiles thought aloud, frustrated. It wasn’t like he could ask him,what with Peter being six feet under, so maybe he should just let it go. Ifonly his hyper-focused mind would let him.
When Peter came back from the dead with a swoop of his clawsat the kanima, Stiles equally wanted to scream and demanded answers.
“You…are alive,” Stiles finally managed to say, after thebattle. After Scott had slunk away with Allison and Chris, after Derek hadlimped away with what was left of his pack, after Lydia and Jackson had leftwithout looking at anyone else. After Stiles was left alone, forgotten again.
“So I am,” Peter said, calmly moving to help Stiles clearthe debris that was keeping Roscoe from backing out.
“How?” Stiles asked, unable to curb his curiosity. “Andsince when?”
“The worm moon,” Peter said, offering him a cheeky smirkthat absolutely did not make Stiles’ heart stutter and certainly didn’t fitStiles preconceived judgments on the man. “I…strongly suggested a ritual forMs. Martin to perform, with the help of my nephew.”
Stiles frowned. “‘Strongly suggested’, huh?” he murmuredthoughtfully, remembering being at school and hearing Lydia’s screams,remembering her odd behavior at her party, remembering the hallucinations andutter craziness that was their life. “You were terrorizing her from beyond thegrave,” he said, shaking his head and moving another piece of debris to avoidhaving to look over at the wolf. “Zombiewolf.”
Peter laughed, and the sound didn’t fit the monstrous Alphathat he once was. Stiles glanced over at him, seeing the laugh lines by hiseyes, and he thought it might fit this newer, saner version of Peter though.Maybe.
“Am I to believe that’s a step up from the ‘Creeperwolf’ youpreviously dubbed me?” Peter drawled teasingly, grabbing a fallen beam andeasily lifting it out of the way, leaning it against the wall. Stiles hated thefact that if he hadn’t, Stiles would never have been able to get his jeep outof here.
Stiles shrugged. “More a lateral move than a step up, butwhatever makes you feel better at night, dude.”
Peter chuckled again, his eyes bright and utterly focused onStiles.
“Why didn’t you bite me?” Stiles blurted before his braincaught up with his mouth and his heart thundered within his chest. He didn’tlook away from Peter’s eyes.
Peter raised a brow. “You said ‘no’,” he pointed out.
“You didn’t ask the others. Why me?” Stiles pushed. Hedidn’t know why, but suddenly he needed to know the answer. He felt like it wasimportant.
Peter smirked, but his eyes seemed troubled. “Scott was amistake and Lydia was an insurance policy. Biting you without your consentwouldn’t have benefited me. I wasn’t tryingto make more enemies, Stiles.”
Stiles snorted humorlessly, looking away. “You pissed off alot of people to not have been looking for enemies,” he said.
“Perhaps I may have done a few things…differently, if I’dhad the wherewithal. What’s done is done though.” He shrugged, looking away. “Idied, revenge complete. And I’m much better now.”
Stiles snorted. “Like death is a sickness. ‘Oh yeah, I wasdead, but I got better.’”
Peter smiled, amused, and Stiles felt heat on his face atthe look. He looked down at his shoes, shuffling. “Do you need a ride somewhere?”He asked, gesturing to his now free jeep.
“Thank you, but I’ll manage. I’m sure I’ll be seeing youaround, Stiles,” Peter said, waving before turning to leave. “Stay safe.”
“Yeah, you too,” Stiles offered on autopilot before henearly slapped himself with a face palm. Who cared if Peter Hale stayed safe?If anything, he should be cursing the fact that the creeper couldn’t stay dead.He groaned to himself, getting into Roscoe and gently coaxing the engine awake.Just more complications. Fun.
…..
Stiles didn’t accept the answer that Peter had given—afterall, what threat was Stiles?—but he didn’t have enough information to reallydispute it. Plus, if he had had a reason only Peter knew it, and pulling astraight answer from that guy was like trying to yank out a tooth. So he putsit on the backburner and doesn’t come back to. Not until a few months later,that is.
“I don’t understand why Scott’s acting all crazy,” Stilesgrumbled, flipping through a book as he and Derek looked for the most recent monster-of-the-week’sweakness. “It’s just him and Allison being off again. They break up like everyother week.”
“She’s his mate, what do you expect?” Derek mutteredirritably, barely refraining from tearing the book in his hands apart as itneglected to provide any useful information. As it were, he just tried glaringit into submission. It wasn’t working.
“Wait, what? Mate? Those are real?” Stiles asked, turningaway from his book to stare at Derek incredulously. “I thought those weremade-up for sure.”
“They’re rare, but mates are real things,” Derek denied,sighing and setting the book aside. “A wolf can sense it immediately, but ahuman wouldn’t feel any differently.”
Stiles leaned forward, amazed. “What else? What can the matebond do? Share emotions? Thoughts? Does it act like a locator spell? And whathappens if the human mate rejects the wolf, since they can’t feel the matebond? Will that hurt the wolf? What about—”
“Stiles!” Derek shouted, cutting him off. “Now I regrettelling you,” he grumbled.
“Come on, dude! You can’t just drop a bomb like that andthen not give me more information! Tell me! Please?”
Derek sighed. “I don’t know a lot about them, Stiles. I toldyou, they’re rare. I’ve never heard that they let you share thoughts, but Ihave heard you can get a sense of your mate’s wellbeing through the bond. Andyou also get an idea of where they are; maybe not as precise as a locatorspell, but still. And from what my…” Derek paused, breathing shakily. “Fromwhat my mom told me, if a human denies the mate bond, it can be painful for thewolf. They won’t die or anything, but it will hurt. That’s why most wolveswon’t even reveal that they have a mate bond with a human. Better the humanjust not know than to be actively denying and pushing the bond away. That way,the wolf might at least be able to be the human’s friend, if nothing else.Proximity helps the ache not be so bed. Or that’s what I remember, anyways.”
Stiles hummed in fascination, wondering what a mate bondwould feel like. He bit his lip, eyeing the piles of books and wondering ifthey’d have any other information on mate bonds.
“You’re not even thinking about our monster problem, areyou?” Derek asked, resigned.
“Not really,” Stiles admitted, looking over at the wolfsheepishly.
“Then it’s a good thing I’ve come to solve all yourproblems,” Peter announced, coming down the stairs dramatically and holding anold leather-bound tome. He grinned darkly. “We have to cut off their heads withiron.”
Stiles groaned. “Of course we do.”
Derek was already up and moving for the door.
“Uh, dude? You’re just taking his word for it?” Stiles askedincredulously, waving to Peter and demanding he give over the book. Peterhuffed but handed it over, showing Stiles where he’d found the information.
“We’re running out of time, Stiles,” Derek said, tapping hisfoot impatiently.
“And where are you going to find an iron weapon?” Stilesdemanded.
Derek paused, frowning. His eyebrows furrowed deeply inthought.
Stiles sighed, pulling out his phone. “I’ll call Mr.Argent.”
Peter’s sneer was a hateful thing and he jerked away fromStiles, letting him keep the book. Stiles gave him a confused look,absentmindedly rubbing at his chest as a twinge of wrongness came to him.
“Stiles?” Chris said as soon as the call connected.
“We need iron,” Stiles said.
…..
Stiles went into research mode on mate bonds, utterlycaptivated by everything he’d found out. Mates could help each other healfaster, they provide rock-solid anchors for wolves, and they could even makehumans more resilient with faster reflexes and heightened senses if the humanaccepted the bond. It wasn’t to the point of being a wolf, but greater thanbeing just a normal human.
What really interested Stiles was the pack politicsinvolved. The human mate would take up the level of pack ranking of the wolfthey were bonded to unless they were actively denying the bond. Sometimes thiscould be done entirely subconsciously if the wolf in question hadn’t revealedthe bond, and the other wolves in a pack may not even realize what they weredoing by deferring to a human pack member.
Plus, a wolf could very rarely deny their mate anything.Instinct seemed to lead a wolf to need to provide, protect, and cherish theirmate. Lore even seemed to suggest that a wolf would naturally want their humanmate to accept the Bite, but if the human had any reservations even the mostwild of wolves could never force their mate to—
Stiles stiffened, wide eyes staring at his wall before hequickly reread that sentence.
“A wolf will see theBite as the best way to keep their mate safe, so if they are human it isnatural for the wolf to offer the Bite. However, if the human mate has anyobjections to turning, the wolf would never allow the choice to be forced upontheir mate.”
“No way,” Stiles denied, muttering to himself and shakinghis head. “I’m being ridiculous. That’s just not possible. It’s just causethat’s on my mind. That’s all.” Stiles shook the thought away, even though itremained niggling in his mind long after he put the book away and started onhis actual homework.
…..
Stiles hummed to himself, working on his homework in theloft for a nice change of pace. He felt something…odd in his chest, like a tug.He looked up to see Peter leaning against the doorway to the kitchen, watchinghim with a fond look that Peter quickly worked to hide when Stiles looked up.
“Coloring a pretty picture?” Peter teased, smirking.
Stiles rolled his eyes. “Only the bestest,” he returned,finishing his doodle in the corner of his notes before glancing back at themath problems he had left. He paused, sniffing the air. “I don’t suppose thatyou would be cooking enough for me too?” He asked hesitantly, looking up atPeter.
Peter huffed, rolling his eyes and turning back for thekitchen. “Put that away and wash up. It’ll be ready in ten minutes.”
Stiles grinned, ignoring how his heart stuttered as he didas he was told. Then he sat at the counter, inhaling deeply as Peter set aplate of food before him.
“Thanks,” Stiles said, taking a large bite. Peter shook hishead at his manners, leaning against the counter opposite him and starting onhis own plate. Stiles felt warmth in his chest, like stepping into a warm bathafter a cold day, and he embraced the feeling. Peter seemed to relax as theyate, the silence comfortable. Stiles thought he could get used to this.
Stiles thought back to Peter’s earlier comment idly. Maybethat was it. Stiles was only barely seventeen; maybe Peter wanted to wait untilafter he turned eighteen and graduated high school before telling him. Stilesbit his lip, looking down at his meal. Peter had provided for him and wasalways protecting him whenever whatever monster-of-the-week appeared. He wasalways nicer to Stiles than the others. He might be unsure if the mate bondwould be accepted or not though. Derek did say that wolves wouldn’t normallytell the human mate about it unless they were sure it would be accepted.
Stiles nodded to himself, decision made. He had just under ayear to get Peter to understand that Stiles would accept the bond.
…..
Stiles spent the next few months subtly studying theresident Zombiewolf, making notes on what the man seemed to like and what hedidn’t like. Stiles started baking for pack nights, grinning delightedly whenhe found out Peter’s secret love for peanut butter cookies. He always savedextra for the wolf which he was only slightly secretive about making sure Petergot. The wolf always gave him a knowing look though, his eyes soft and smilejust a bit too pleased to be a smirk. Stiles felt warm and cozy almost all thetime—even while they were hunting that yeti in the middle of a snowstorm—and hethought for sure it was because of the bond and him accepting it.
When his eighteenth came, the pack threw him a party atDerek’s loft. It was crazy fun and Stiles was only mildly disappointed whenPeter didn’t make him move. He still had a few months of high school left,after all, and Stiles could see why that would give the older wolf pause. Itwas all the more reason for Stiles to want school to end though, nearlybouncing in his seat in excitement as the end crept closer.
“Someone’s excited,” Peter teased as he crawled into Stiles’bedroom where the boy was getting his cap and gown on in preparation ofgraduation.
“Uh, yeah. I’ve only been waiting for forever,” Stiles said,smiling happily as affection bloomed within him. Maybe it was his own, maybe itwas Peter’s; Stiles never knew anymore and he didn’t care. After a year ofhonestly getting to know the older wolf, Stiles was pretty sure he was more inlove with the wolf than he could’ve ever imagined. “What’s up?” Stiles asked,turning to face the wolf and setting his cap aside for now.
“I wanted to give you your graduation present,” Peter said.
Stiles grinned. This was it. This had to be it.
“Oh? Sweet, dude! What is it?” Stiles asked, nearlyvibrating. He licked his lips. He couldn’t wait to kiss Peter senseless.
“Contrary to your belief, I’m not oblivious and have pickedup on your not-so-subtle queues,” Peter started, smirking smugly. “But Ithought it’d be best if I gave you your present now instead of in front of thepack, since I hardly went to all the trouble for the rest of them.”
Stiles snorted. “Dude, I—and everyone else—know that I’myour favorite.”
Peter rolled his eyes, stepping closer. “Yes, yes. You’veall figured me out,” he teased lightly. He pulled out a box from his pocket andheld it out towards Stiles. Stiles tilted his head in confusion, looking downat the box before taking it.
Stiles opened the box, gaping at the new Rolex watch nestledsafety in black velvet. “What…” Stiles breathed, staring at the watch.
“You’ve been complaining for weeks about your watch breakingthanks to that run-in with the leprechaun,” Peter said. “And this is a goodone. Waterproof, shatterproof, basically every kind of proof I could find.”
“Peter,” Stiles said, looking up. “I wasn’t dropping hintsfor you to get me a watch and this was probably way too expensive for me toeven consider keeping.”
Peter huffed, waving his hand. “Nonsense; I bought it foryou. I want you to have it, Stiles. You deserve nice things.”
Stiles stared at him. “I don’t understand,” Stiles finallysaid, words spewing forth. “I thought I had made it clear that I would say‘yes’.”
Peter blinked, looking startled. “What?”
“I’ve known about the bond for months, Peter. I thought youwere waiting for me to turn eighteen, then to graduate, and nothing. Are youashamed? Do you…not want me?” Stiles asked, voice quiet as he seemed to curlwithin himself.
“What are you…bond? How do you…” Peter wasuncharacteristically flustered, anxiety creeping into his chest and he took astep back.
“I know,” Stiles said evenly, meeting Peter’s gaze. “I know,and I’m accepting.”
Peter gasped as the bond snapped into place, fullyacknowledged. He reached out for Stiles’ table to steady himself, overwhelmedby the concern and affection he could feel through the bond. Stiles steppedcloser, brushing his hand up Peter’s chest and resting it on his shoulder.
Stiles smiled and it was a beautiful thing. Peter cupped hisface with trembling hands. “Truly?” he breathed, fear almost catching the wordin his throat.
“Absolutely,” Stiles murmured, leaning closer to run hisnose along Peter’s, inching just a bit nearer.
Peter sealed their lips, eyes sliding shut in the wake ofhis mate’s acceptance. He’d always thought the best he could hope for withStiles would be friendship, and even then it would have to accompany looks ofuncertainty and distrust. To have his acceptance, not only for friendship butof the mate bond, of Peter, wasnearly overwhelming.
“I didn’t really think this timing through,” Stiles murmuredas the kiss broke. “I needed to leave for graduation like five minutes ago.”
Peter chuckled, nuzzling against his mate—his mate—feeling practically giddy. “They’llwait,” he responded, hands running down Stiles’ chest before curling around hiships.
“I have a speech,” Stiles muttered, though he made no moveto pull away, arms wrapping around Peter’s neck.
“They’ll wait,” Peter repeated, words whispered againstStiles’ mouth. “Because I’m done waiting.”
Stiles huffed with humor, whiskey eyes sparkling withaffection, and he figured a few more minutes wouldn’t hurt anyone. He was donewaiting too.
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