#do you think everyone believed jc for the first few years or

[obsessedelusional]

broken, but together, whole

paring ↬ König x Fem!Reader

summary ↬ You had a terrible accident at your last place of employment. The need for a fresh start brings you to Kortac, where you meet König. His constant gaze leads coworkers to believe he has feelings for you. Telling you all the reasons why you they think he’s a freak, including why he wears a mask constantly. Making you realize you two might have more in common than you thought..

word count ↬ almost 4k jc

Feedback & Reblogs are helpful and extremely appreciated ♡

⊹ ꙳ ✦ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹

Your recent employment in Kortac was a simple transition. After an incident that lead to several months in the hospital, all healed up you decided it was time for a change. Moving and finding a new job.

Mostly everyone was easy to work with, welcomed you with open arms. No one knowing of your incident, made it easier to pretend that it never happened. They kept you very busy, constantly traveling to accomplish different missions.

The only one to not make a single attempt at being friendly was Konig. You didn’t understand his dismissive attitude toward you. That never really stopped you from saying simple hellos everytime you met his unwavering gaze when he was around.

His gaze unchanging as you smile before continuing what you were doing before he entered the room. When he was around, it felt as if his eyes never left you. Trying to convince yourself that you were being delusional. Only to catch his stare every single time you looked his way.

The group just came back from an exhausting mission, three days spent without a proper meal or bed has led the lot of you straight to the mess hall to eat. Some going straight to their quarters to rest or clean the built up filth from the previous days. As you enter the mess hall, you come to a halt your tired body knocking into someone. You immediately register who and what just happened, looking up to see Konigs eyes piercing down on you from under his mask.

“Sorry..”

“Kein Problem.” He mutters, his accent heavy. Speaking the first words he’s ever spoken to you. Two simple words, completely harmless but why are they making you feel something? You shake it off, grabbing a tray of food and sitting with some of the friends you made since joining.

“What’s his deal? Before you came around here was always holed up in his room. Now he just looms over everyone, staring at you.” One of the girls ask, pointing to Konig who’s per usual has his eyes on you.

“I don’t know.” You sigh, looking away from him.

“He’s a freak. In all the years I’ve worked with him, he’s not once said a single word to me.” Another woman adds, talking as she stuffs her face.

“Maybe he’s just shy.” You suggest thinking about the fact that he spoke to you a few moments ago even if it was brief.

“Maybe he has a crush on you.” She retorts, laughing as if him having a crush on you should upset you.

“And if he does? Would that be so terrible? Have any of you ever even tried to talk to him? Like genuinely?” You ask. Not one of the people sat at your table can say that they gave Konig an honest chance at a conversation. Which has you thinking maybe you should be the first one to try. You sit there listening to them go on about their own beliefs on why he is the way he is.

“Well I heard he never takes that mask off cause he’s all disfigured under it.” Someone announces.

“Yeah something about an explosive going off in his face.” Another chimes in, making you realize the two of you might have more in common than you thought. You look back to where Konig was once sat, he’s no longer there. Feeling bad because he most certainly had to have heard at least some of this conversation.

—

Since yesterday afternoon you kept thinking about Konig, hoping to get him alone so you could try to talk to him. He never showed up for dinner or anything that day. Probably locked away in his room but there was no way in hell you were just going to knock on his door. So you waited, deciding it would happen whenever it was meant to be.

You get to the mess hall early for breakfast with full intentions of grabbing a cup of coffe and a breakfast burrito and be on your way. A busy day ahead of you, a lot you need to accomplish on your day off. Never entirely sure when they come so taking the opportunity to get personal things done.

That’s until you turn around from the coffee table, burrito in hand and see Konig sat alone. He’s busy reading something, looks important. He looks like he doesn’t want to be bothered. Yet your legs lead you to his table, sitting across from him.

“Morning.” You say, so casually as if this a regular occurrence. He only looks up from his papers, confusion appears in his eyes. That quickly fades to his regular stoic gaze before looking back down, ignoring you entirely.

“Whatcha reading?” You ask, unwilling to give up so easily.

“Nothing.” He says, voice filled with annoyance. But it’s another word, so you smile before continuing.

“Well it’s obviously something. Or else you wouldn’t be reading it.” You respond, your silly tone not matching his energy. His eyes leave his reading again to look at you. Still filled with annoyance aimed at you.

“Report. It’s a report for the next mission,” He explains, now sat back in his chair. His attention on you fully.

“Boring.” You reply, causing his to furrow his brows. You wouldn’t know unable to see his features. He’s suprised by your bluntness, they way your talking to him like it’s an everyday thing.

“Can’t that wait? We only get so much time off and you’re wasting it working.” You ask, mostly curious using this an attempt to find out more about him. Maybe he’d let slip some details of his life outside of his job.

“I am always working,” He explains, you’re grateful he’s responding at all even if his answers are short and lack any real insight on him.

“That’s just sad. You don’t do anything else? Never kick back and relax? Have a little fun? That’s no way to live.” You prod into his life and he can’t help but wonder why you even care enough to ask. Wondering why you decided to bother him at all. Slightly annoyed that you claim his way of life is sad but he knows you’re right.

“It’s my life. I’m fine the way it is.” He replies. You go to speak but he’s not done yet.

“I must go.” He adds, already standing up and leaving. Not giving you an opportunity to try and convince him otherwise. You say goodbye as he steps through the door to the hallway, where you can no longer see him. You smile to yourself, satisfied that he talked to you at all and didn’t immediately dismiss you.

Konig on the other hand is completely beside himself, overwhelmed by the small interaction. Praying that was a one time thing as he makes his way back to his quarters. Not realizing that him simply responding opened a whole new chapter for his life: you.

—

Every day from that point, when Konig was near so were you. At first he’d brush you off or respond with one worded answers. Pretending to hate every second but enjoying your company. Finding himself wishing you’d find him sat alone somewhere on the base, so you’d bother him.

Ask him about his day and any other things that came your to your mind. Listening to you rant about your day or your current hyperfixation he didn’t understand. He’d mostly sit in silence but it was okay because you did more than enough talking for the both of you. He could listen to you talk all day long and not get tired.

Early in the friendship he gives you a nickname, calling you Schatz. It takes a lot of begging but eventually he explains that it means treasure. He doesn’t elaborate past that but it makes you feel special. Grinning like an idiot every time it leaves his mouth.

Months had passed of you two becoming friends. Eventually you convincing him to tag along with your other friends on the base. He knew the second you asked, it was game over because he was considering doing something he refused for years simply because you wanted him to.

It started with him sitting with you and your friends. He was sat in silence but he enjoyed every moment. Konig wasn’t socially awkward he just didn’t care to share conversation with ones he didn’t care for. Which made you feel special, he was allowing you access to a part of him that not many experience.

Just as you expected nobody really understands your friendship with Konig. Often questioning you when he’s not around, never hesitating to stand up for him. Making sure everyone knows how important he has become to you. That you won’t stand for any slander of König.

Everything was going great, until it wasn’t. You had this overwhelming feeling that König was avoiding you. He was holed up in his room more than normal and when you did see him in the hall he’d walk the other way. The few times you were able to get him alone, he’d say something about being busy. Leaving you alone as he makes an escape.

You two has made so much progress. Out of no where, he was shutting you out. One day as your walking past his office, the doors open just enough to see him alone. It takes all your courage but you let yourself in. Preparing yourself for the conversation that’s about to be had. He doesn’t even look up from what he’s working, even when you shut the door. Letting it close hard to notify him of your arrival. He’s not stupid, he knows your there. He’s ignoring you.

“König?” You ask, finally breaking the silence. His attention snaps towards you. He looks at you from under his sniper mask, his ice blue irises almost piercing right through you.

"Yes?” he replies quietly in a deep voice. He sounds annoyed.

“Is there a reason why you’re avoiding me?” You ask while König turns his focus back to what he was working on, not looking back up at you as he answers.

"I have my reasons," he says in a terse tone. His voice is cold and unfeeling. You don’t give up yet, pressing him for more information.

“What? Did I do something wrong?” You question.

"Ja," He answers bluntly.

“What did I do?”

"That isn't important," König says quickly, looking away from you. He sounds irritated.

"I'm not interested in explaining myself to you," he adds. He goes back to focusing on what he was working on before.

“Where the hell is this coming from? Quit dismissing me like that, like I don’t mean anything to you.” You reply, your tone turning from concern towards annoyance. He looked up and he looks at you for a few moments, as if he’s trying to decide what to say.

"I don't want to be near you," König answers sharply, still not looking up at you.

"I'm tired of you constantly wanting my attention, always expecting me to drop whatever I'm doing to spend time with you.You want more than what I can give." He doesn't hesitate to say what he knows will hurt your feelings. And boy does he hurt them, you’re angry now.

“You are so fucking dramatic. It’s called being friends. Maybe you’re not use to having any friends. Don’t worry, I won’t bother you anymore.” You are almost yelling but the time you finish, leaving his office before he can respond. Once you’re gone he’s sat there alone, staring at the door. Regret immediately washed over him but it doesn’t matter he’s too late.

You start walking away from his office, finding yourself feeling pretty heartbroken. Your throat starts to feel tight. As your walk towards your quarters, tears begin to fall but don’t fully release until you’re alone. Wishing for nothing more than for things to go back to how they were.

Feeling absolutely devastated the fact that he basically said you’re too annoying. Once believing that he enjoyed your company, liked your personality. You don’t what to think anymore. A small part of you thinking he might have had feelings for you. Where did the once sweet, caring man go?

—

It’s been three days since that terrible encounter. You’ve begun to avoid König. Easy enough when he doesn’t want anything to do with you. Unfortunately for the both of you, you still work together. With an upcoming assignment you will have no choice but to see him.

You walk into the armory on a mission preparation day to check for any updates. You sigh in relief when you don’t see him in his regular spot, where he’d often spend his time tinkering with weapons.

"Schatz," König's voice, still sounding cold and distant, resonates through the room. You mentally scream a few cuss words before facing him. A nick name that used to bring you joy causing you distress. He's in his all-black uniform, his sniper mask covering his entire face beside his irises that remain piercing and blue.

“I’ll just come back later.” You say, turning to leave.

"Where do you think you're going?" König's voice echoes through the empty room.

“Away from you.”

"Wait." He crosses the room in three swift steps and puts his right hand on your shoulder, stopping you from walking away.

"I need to talk to you."

“No fuck you.” You spit, turning to face him. He’s taken back by your outburst not expecting such words coming from you.

“Don’t say that.”

“I’ll say whatever the fuck I feel like. You’re a real asshole. Making me give a shit about you, just to push me away. And then to blame it on me being too much for you to handle, you’re a fucking coward.” You let the words out, all the anger you have being let out finally.

"Coward? A coward is someone who is afraid of facing their fears," he says sternly, moving his head closer to you. He's almost nose-to-nose with you, his eyes locked onto yours.

"I'm not a coward," he says coldly. He moves his right hand to your chin, forcing your head to look at him.

“Yes you are. I know for a fact that you have feelings for me. And that fucking terrifies you. Instead of facing those feelings, you push me away.” You snap back, still only inches away from him.

"I didn't push you away because of my feelings. I pushed you away because of your feelings," König says quietly, still staring at you and not blinking.

"I'm not what you want. I'm not good enough for you."As he says those words, an intense pain fills his eyes for just a moment before he re-wears his cold, stoic mask.

“You couldn’t have come to this realization before making me fall for you?”

“If I could go back in time and stop myself from meeting you I would," König says quietly.

“I never intended for you to fall for me but it’s too late…” His voice trails off, you can tell he’s thinking carefully about the next words that he will say.

“I want you.. I need you but-..”

“But nothing. The only one making this difficult is you. Quit being an asshole and pushing me away, we could be together.” You cut him off not letting him finish.

"I know," König says quietly, not disagreeing with you at all.

"I don't know what I'm doing. Everything I do feels wrong. I'm scared." He says, nervously fidgeting with fingers.

“Scared of what?” You question, noticing his nervous habit. Taking his hand in yours. His gaze goes up from his hands to your eyes. He takes a shaky breath.

“You're perfect." There's a hint of sadness to his voice when he says the word 'perfect'. It sounds like he knows something you don't.

"And that scares me. I'm scared that once you realize I'm not perfect," he leans in even closer to you, "you'll leave me."

“I’m not perfect, nobody is. I don’t give a fuck about any of that.” You respond, your hands still in his as he nervously rubs his thumbs against your hands.

“Have you ever wondered why I wear this mask? Why I never take it off?”

“Sure but it doesn’t matter. I don’t care what’s under there. I like you for you.” You say, trying to reassure him.

“You don’t understand, you never will.” As he speaks, you see something in him break. He leans back and brings his right arm up to the sniper hood covering his face. He stares at you for a long moment before finally taking a deep breath and removing his mask.

You can't hide your shock as you see his face for the first time. The left half of his face covered in scars. The biggest one going down his face, through his eye and down his chin. The right half of his face, the scar of a burn taking up most of this half. Under the mask, none of this noticeable. The black eye makeup is smeared around his eyes. The eyes that look at you with such sadness as he waits for a reaction.

“Please.." König says softly, his voice filled with shame and fear. His scars are now plain to see, exposed and raw. Your heart breaks for him as it suddenly becomes clear that his pushaway behavior was motivated by shame and fear... not anger and disinterest.

“König..” You whisper his name, cupping his jaw. Letting your thumb gently rub against his bottom lip.

When he doesn’t stop that simple touch you let your fingertips gently touch the scarred tissue on his face. Making König close his eyes and take deep, shaky breaths.You can tell that he's not used to anyone touching him, and that physical touch of any kind is almost overwhelming for him. But at the same time, he craves to feel loved and cared for... the way he leans into your touch. With his eyes closed, you kiss him.

After a moment of uncertainty he kisses you too, his scarred lips touching yours. This is his first actual kiss, since the accident and he's unsure of what to do, but the tenderness in his touch still surprises you. You feel his tongue touch the corner of your mouth, exploring your lips as he tries to mimic your movements.

You feel it in your heart to be patient and understanding with König, and seeing him finally let himself open up to you and give in to what you both want melts your heart. König wraps his arms around you, pulling you close and letting his scarred skin touch your bare skin.

You break the kiss to breathe, but there's nothing but silence in the room. Then, you look into König's eyes. They're filled with warmth and tenderness, his scars suddenly not seeming to matter anymore. König's scarred fingers lightly brush your hair as he gathers his thoughts.

"I... I don't know how to say this," he sighs, then finally just blurts it out.

“I love you. I think I have for a while, and I haven't wanted to admit it to myself..." König leans forward, his scarred face now visible, and looks you directly in the eyes.

"I'm broken. I've always been broken, and I've always been scared that I'll never be enough for someone like you..." He explains, sadness heavy in his tone. Even after the kiss you two shared after you seen his face and didn’t run away, he’s still insecure.

“You are enough, more than enough for me. Quit doubting yourself, so I can show you the love you deserve.” You explain, taking his face in your hands forcing him to look at you while you speak. König is shocked by your words.

"But... how could anyone love me, looking the way I do? Knowing all the things I've done? I've been a soldier my whole life. I've hurt people, killed people. And I'll never not be that person." He closes his scarred eyes, trying to hold back emotion.

“I'm... I'm a monster."

“You are not a monster. Just because you’ve done bad things doesn’t make you a bad person. Ever since I met you, you have been nothing but kind to me. You make me happy, you make me feel safe. At least when you’re not avoiding me because you think you know what’s best for me.” You explain, letting your hands continue to explore his face. You cup his chin, kissing his lips before moving my lips up his scars. Pressing sweet simple kisses along his scared face. Letting him know they don’t scare you.

König breathes in sharply as your lips hit his scarred skin. Your kisses feel incredibly tender and loving. He closes his eyes as you continue to explore his scarred face with your lips. As you continue to kiss his scars, he lets out a deep breath and lets his head rest against you. You take his hand, pressing delicate kissing to his scared fingers.

Your gentle touch makes him feel loved and wanted, not a monster or a killer or a scarred beast, but a normal person who can still be cared for and loved by someone else. He finally opens his eyes and looks at you.

“You don't... you don't care what I look like, do you?"

“No I don’t. And I’ll spend the rest of my life reminding you if that’s what it takes.” You reassure him.

"But my scars... how can you not care about them? How can you love someone with all these scars?" König takes a deep breath and slowly caresses your cheek with his scarred hand.

"You have scars too, don't you?" He asks and now it’s your turn to come clean.

“I haven’t showed anyone since it happened…,” You whisper pulling up your shirt exposing the burn scars that run up the side of your body. Yours are a lot more recent than his. It’s obvious there’s a lot more under all the clothes you’re wearing. You see König's jaw drop slightly as you expose your scars. You see a look of raw emotion in his eyes, like he just saw you naked for the first time. A gentle smile spreads across his face as he stares at you, and his eyes begin to glisten.

"You... you understand?" he whispers.

“Yes.. I understand.”

König leans in again and touches your burnt skin lightly with his scarred fingertips. He traces your scars with his thumb, looking up at you to make sure you see the love in his eyes. He caresses your scars as if they're an intimate part of your body, like he's finally touching a part of you that no one has ever touched before.

"You understand my scars... you accept them... and you still love me." His voice breaks as he whispers these last words, and you can see tears beginning to well up in his eyes.

"I love you..." He leans in and kisses you passionately, grabbing your hips and pulling you closer.

Your scars, his scars, they're both part of your past, but they don't define you. You both have wounds that are still healing and scars that will never go away. You'll both carry them for the rest of your life, but you carry them together. You're both broken, but together, you're whole.

#konig x female reader #konig x y/n #konig modern warfare #konig x you #konig call of duty #konig mw2 #konig cod #konig #konig x reader

[thepurplewombat]

Why was WRH so stupid?

I've been thinking about this for a while and like, WRH's actions were deeply stupid in a way that turned the whole cultivation world against him in self-defence when, with a bit more patience, he could have wiped out all the Great Clans within five or so years and set himself up as a petty-Emperor of the cultivation world.

If I was WRH, this is how I would do it.

A ten-step plan for world domination.

Step 1: don't attack Cloud Recesses. The pretext was dumb and nobody bought it. Send a polite invitation to a Wen Study Term just like Cloud Recesses'. A POLITE ONE! The clans will acquiesce because nobody wants to rock the boat.

2: now you have to decide whether you want to go after the Jiang, the Lan, or both. I would recommend choosing one - both is too ambitious. The Nie are not an option for reasons that will become clear. I would recommend the Jiang.

3: kill Wen Chao. He's useless anyway, but he's still the son of the sect leader.

4: frame Jiang Cheng (not WWX - WWX can be disavowed, but Jiang Cheng is the sect heir, his actions are, to an extent, the actions of the Jiang Sect) for the death of Wen Chao. It doesn't have to be murder, although it would be best if WC could pick a bunch of fights with JC beforehand so that whatever 'night hunting accident' he dies in can be spun as JC deliberately getting him killed out if rage. (now we see why the Nie are not an option. Nobody would believe that NHS murdered Wen Chao, and if WC got killed on a night hunt because of NHS' incompetence, the Nie can easily say that the Wen knew that Second Young Master Nie is not suited to night hunting so why was he there in the first place? Not that NMJ would do that because the loss of face would probably send him into qi deviation, but best not let it come up)

4a: Massacre the Jiang. Nobody is going to object - and if they do, they won't do it loudly. The loss of a son and heir - because WC is still in the succession, I believe? - is sufficient pretext that nobody is going to object too loudly. If you want to be super practical you can just kill the Jiang inner Disciples and take the sect for yourself, but I feel like WRH does have the manpower to take Lotus Pier and keep industry flowing with civilian labor. No need to risk hostile cultivators at his back.

5: we are now one Great Sect down, and no war. Everyone is kind of 👀 about it because they never thought their own tactics would be turned against a Great Sect like this, but there is sufficient precedent that nobody wants to object too loudly.

6: now you wait. Move too soon and you could scare the Lan and the Nie into uniting against you, and you don't want that. While you're waiting, you consolidate your hold on Yunmeng, bringing the smaller sects in the region under your banner. Nothing to see here, just doing what sects do. Make sure your relations with the Jin remain good. Jin Guangshan won't cause any trouble for you if you don't cause any trouble for him.

7: choose whether to go after the Lan or the Nie next. I recommend the Lan, because the Unclean Realm is a tough nut to crack.

8: attack the Lan. Kill everyone - but most especially you want to kill everyone in the line of succession. You don't want Lan Xichen or Lan Wangji rallying people against you later on. A pretext would be useful for this, but at this point is not entirely necessary. Don't burn the library, you idiot.

9: you are now left with the Nie and the Jin among the great clans. This is good because they don't get along, and also Jin Guangshan is useless. Besiege the Unclean Realm. You don't have to go frontal assault, just keep them bottled up in their nice little fortress where you can pick them off at your leisure. This may take a few years, but once they are sufficiently weakened you can take them out.

10: CONGRATULATIONS!! CONGRATULATIONS!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!! Important things must be said three times! World domination is now yours! The Jin are the only Great Sect left, and they won't dare move against you and can't unite the smaller clans (whom I hope you have been treating well as you unite them under the Wen. You have been treating them well, right?) . At some point later, you can take them out if you wanted, but it's not necessary. I'd recommend taking care of Jin Zixuan, who is likely to bear a grudge and is an honorable idiot who won't take well to having a Wen boot on his neck. Jin Zixun will be much more amenable.

There are some people who might see your plan and derail it - primarily NHS and Meng Yao. NHS is unlikely to be able to do much since nobody will listen to him, although if both he and Meng Yao are in the Unclean Realm they might be able to convince NMJ to take action before the attack on the Lan can happen. I would recommend convincing JGS that a spare heir is never a bad idea (if this works you can always get Meng Yao installed as head of the Jin later - if he knows you're the one who convinced JGS to take him on he will be loyal to you, and if JGS and Co treat him as they did in canon he will not object overmuch if you kill him, and might even do it for you). If that doesn't work, kill him.

#MDZS #A ten-step plan for world domination #WRH #Jin guangyao #WRH lost the war because he had no patience #And all his pretexts were dumb

[golbrocklovely]

You say you like both boys, but you seem to be very biased towards Colby. Reading through you're blog you seem to take every opportunity to attack Sam and call out his flaws while letting Colby's slide even way back in your blog in years past. You say people baby Sam and attack Colby while doing the opposite yourself by babying Colby and attacking Sam making you a little bit of a hypocrite.

You should let people know you are more biased towards Colby so that they understand your answers to their questions might be weighted slightly in Colbys favour as people seem to be asking you for unbiased opinions on things when you're not unbiased at all.

usually with asks like this, i just ignore them and move on. but i have the time today.

i'll get all of the initial things out of the way first: everyone has a bias. shocking, i know. having a bias isn't a bad thing inherently, especially in cases like this where we're not talking about life or death topics. we are talking about fandom nonsense and nonsensical things like who's the better singer or who could be a model or what hair style looks best. who cares if i have a bias? none of this matters ! you're asking for my opinion, and this is what my opinion entails. if you don't like it, don't ask. or ignore it if it goes against what you want to hear. if you want someone to just agree with you, find someone that will. i'm not trying to change anyone's opinion, i'm just stating my own. and again, there's no such thing as an unbiased opinion.

out of all the ppl on this site that answer asks about sam, i'm one of the few that is actually nice to him. me calling out things that i think are a bit strange about him, or flaws of his, is not an attack. there are plenty of asks i've answered over the years where i have defended sam from anons who downright hate him (or at least sound like they do). i give him the benefit of the doubt a lot of the time. just bc recently i haven't agreed with the way he manages to not edit videos doesn't mean i'm attacking him.

i've tiptoed around saying my full, god's honest opinion about this fandom for a very long time, bc i think it's gonna piss some ppl off. but i think it's time i say it.

this fandom loves to coddle sam and full on hate colby. personally i believe that some fans that claim they love sam don't even like him. they just hate colby so much that sam is the only other option to them. that's not to say no one likes sam. i love sam. i care about sam. but that doesn't negate when he does things wrong imo. i don't have to turn a blind eye to them just bc i like him. and that applies to colby too.

the amount of asks i have answered over the years pointing out colby's issues in relationships, how he treats himself, his terrible choice in friends outside of sam, his ability to purposefully tease the fandom only to them complain about it, the times he has disappointed me, ect… i've talked about that ad nauseam. but so has the rest of the fandom as well. and not just on here; on sites that colby can actually see it on. ppl point out colby's flaws all the fucking time and no one cares. no one is coming up in my ask box saying "hey guys we don't know colby like that. let's give him a fair chance now." I'M the one saying that. but sam…. i have to walk on eggshells just to talk about in fear that someone is gonna get pissed bc i said he's a bit annoying sometimes.

let me point out some examples.

colby literally gets slut shamed very frequently. hell, there are ppl on here that do it often. i don't do it bc i would love for him to go out and have fun as much as he wants. but anytime he's even near a girl, it's "omg colby's at it again, acting like a fool. when is he gonna give it up and stop sleeping around?" but all of sudden bc sam is single it's "i can't wait to see sam hook up with girls. i wonder who his next gf will be." no issue there. sam was literally dancing up on a girl at jc's party, but colby's the one that gets called out for standing next to the same girl all night. okay then.

colby got berated on here a while ago for having a possible type - white, skinny, dark hair, light eyes. even tho he has been with girls that don't look like that. but bc it's believed to be true, he's a dick for having a type. sam literally followed like 10 asian girls in a row, some of which were onlyfans girls (which btw colby also got hate for following onlyfans girls so there's another example) and it was seen as "omg sam is so funny, what is he doing following all these asian girls???"

another prime example: kat is getting hate for writing music about sam. why? bc it doesn't favor him. bc it points out that maybe he wasn't the best the entire 8 years they were together. she has borderline albums dedicated to that man but all of a sudden it's an issue when she writes a song that doesn't metaphorically suck his dick. yall don't bat an eye when major artists shit talk their exes. it's tea, it's drama. but kat can't do the same to sam bc…. you like him?? not to mention, kat is now getting called a slut for talking to other guys (some of which are just her friends) when again at the SAME party, sam was with a girl and then admitted to hanging out with her after the party.

let's get into more, quasi serious, examples.

who participated in queerbaiting? sam, colby, and brennen. who apologized for it? colby. who got yelled at for not doing enough and not being sincere about it? colby.

who got yelled at for not talking about jan 6th on jan 6th as it was happening? colby. who got called misogynistic for wishing happy international women's day? colby. who got called out for not posting links to reputable sources when stop asian hate was trending on twitter? colby. do you know what sam did? nothing. he didn't post anything until colby eventually did, the difference is he didn't get yelled at for it. he didn't get cancelled for it. am i saying that colby didn't make some fuck ups during this time period? of course not. but the difference between what was said to him and what was said to sam over the same exact situations is a bit confusing.

colby still gets called an asshole for the killing best friend prank, a prank that BOTH OF THEM participated in and were in on.

i have seen this discourse happen on twitter a bunch: a lot of sam fans wish that he got recognized just as much as colby does. but do you know what that recognition brings? a tremendous amount of hate. colby receives that DAILY for almost every decision he makes. he loses followers when he grows facial hair, he got a death threat so bad when he was getting cancelled that he left twitter for like a week straight so his mental health would go back to normal. kat's own fucking fans rejoiced when colby lost his journal and was emotional about it. there is a level of respect that sam receives that colby doesn't.

sam and colby fan accounts can exist, sam accounts can exist, but colby accounts get called rude bc they forget about sam, or they get told "it's sam AND colby." yet weirdly, who's saying that to the sam accounts? bc i have a sneaking suspicion no one is telling them "hey you pay too much attention to sam, give colby some love too." bc i'm gonna take a wild guess that you wouldn't have sent this ask if i favored sam over colby.

i could go on, but i think i've made my point clear: do i have a bias towards colby? sure. i've openly admitted to favoring him sometimes or saying that he's my type more than sam. but i'm also right when i say this fandom babies sam. colby gets a lot of love, but a fuckton of hate on top of it. there are things that sam has done that colby could NEVER get away with. the amount of times sam doesn't address shit and just goes quiet and ppl just move on from whatever drama it was…. that could only happen to colby in a completely different timeline. i love sam dearly, but me pointing out that sometimes he's out of touch or isn't the nicest doesn't mean i'm attacking him. i call out colby for the same shit but no one cares bc shitting on colby is an everyday occurrence in this fandom. sam is literally known as the smart one of the two. you don't think that in itself kinda proves my point? colby is literally seen as the dumb one. what about that screams unbiased??

#ask #personal

[jittyjames]

so late to this, but! for the ask game!! 5, 13 (bc i need to read more fics in both hamilton and jcs lmao), and 16!

5. i think my writing has improved a lot since i first posted mine to subdue. i think i've grown more confident with knowing what i want to say and how i want to say it. i might be wrong, but i think i've developed a style that is consistent which i'm very proud of. i basically improved on the smoothness of writing, too, i think (i could be so wrong). i basically improved all of this just by working nonstop, and writing every chance i get. i do want to write different things every now and again. i feel like my works can get repetitive very quickly, and often that's what stops me from posting if i think a fic is too similar to something i've already done, or someone else has written something under the same premise. so that's kind of what i'm working on. i want to be able to bring something fresh and unique, so i'm trying to work on expanding my vocabulary a bit more and think of new ideas.

13. oooo this is so good. first and foremost i will say, i believe fic writers (And fan artists naturally) are what keep fandoms and my fixations on them alive, so these fics have greatly impacted me in that way, and the excellence of them inspires me to keep writing and keep going. for hamilton, i have read the fics for years. i've been on ao3, fanfiction.net, and wattpad since practically the beginning. i remember when there was <100 posted on ao3. like it goes so far back. sons of libertea by fihli was my favorite fic when i was thirteen and what really got me into reading hardcore for hamilton. i haven't read it in a long time so i don't know if it holds up, but i'm sure it does. so that one is really iconic for me, and i know it was really popular at the time. i've talked about it before but the monticello furlough was a game changer for me. anything by holograms is brilliant and i die every time. and it's not just bc y'all are my pallys and kiddos, but @youreverydaydemikid @cecescomposition @fireballdance, the fics y'all write literally have me dropping whatever i'm doing to read what you post. it's so so good. like it's genuinely consistently good work that i squeal over every time. also @binch-i-might-be is an absolute icon that has kept the fandom fed for a good few years. there have also been numerous fanfics that have been deleted over the years that i adored, so we will have a moment of silence for them, but alas, it's the price i have to pay for being in a fandom that became "cringe culture" and made everyone delete their work even if it was really good.

NOW FOR JCS. it is such a small fandom, but that does not mean there is any lack of wonderful content. OBVIOUSLY, i will start by recommending anything by @solarflicker. their work is genuinely jaw dropping and i die every time. their characterizations are so good, and their stories are so well written. i could not recommend them enough. if i had to choose one, though, it would have to be judecca. like that one is one i reread practically every week. but as i said, all of them are so good. you would be doing yourself a disfavor by skipping any of them. @ohsoldier is so so good too. their good omens au is chef's kiss. picking up the palm fronds by @hobgoblinns is also very very good. beserk's jcs fics are also golden little au's that are so so good!! they have like a reincarnation au that i adore. another good reincarnation au that i love is that's what you had (but you don't have it anymore) by zartbitterpoetin. this one is so unique and well written. like it's so creativeeee. those are all a bit angsty BUT there's a really cute coffee shop fic (i think it has smut in it so be careful youngins) but it's the fic that all the people not in the fandom find and it blows their minds that people ship jesus/judas lmaooo. but it's called i'm falling for brew by framblebee. NOW I'VE RAMBLED ON THIS QUESTION FOR FAR TOO LONG SO I'LL LEAVE YOU WITH ONE MORE. you have to have an account to view it, but it is the 2012 revival fic (once again i think it had a tad bit of smut so watch for that) but so tonight that i might see by altzfic is amazing. like honestly there are so many good fics out there. it's crazy how talented people are in both of these fandoms. i could go on for ages, but i will end the rant here.

(i could genuinely make a long post of just fic recommendations for both fandoms and it would be longer that this. it's just so good.) (lemme know if y'all want that. it would take a while to collect all the links, but i would gladly boost the fics i love)

16. the worst writing advice i've ever been given was to delete everything and start over if you get stuck. my storage might hate me, but i've learned i regret very much if i delete my work. even if i don't use something in the fic i originally wrote it for, i could always use it somewhere else or expand on it and make it it's own thing. another bad piece of advice i got was never use flowery language. i resent that. i loathe that. i am a writing maximalist, my dears. i will make my writing as longwinded and drawn out as possible.

#ask games #these are such good questionss ahhhhhh #sorry didn't mean to namedrop all of y'all feel free to disregard this #i just wanted to make sure people were able to find your accounts and fics bc y'all deserve it :))))

[butch-reidentified]

One of my best friends is a gender critical, intensely radfem-aligned, mtf transsexual. I've talked about this friend several times before on here, but I think it's time I devote a stand-alone post. As with most of my posts, it will be long in signature JC fashion, but I think the topic warrants it: my friend is a wonderful person first and foremost, but is a truly fascinating and unique example of transsexuality as well.

First, a note: I've said this before, but for anyone new to my discussions of my gc mtf friend, she has never and would never expect or ask me to use she pronouns, but it's just how my brain perceives her despite rationally knowing she's male. I have no interest in forcing myself to use sex-accurate pronouns when it doesn't come naturally, because I don't believe it really matters in this context. It matters when it comes to things like news media reporting violent crime by transwomen as committed by women, but interpersonally or in a tumblr post, I don't feel a need to firmly stick to sex-accurate pronouns when my brain naturally goes to cross-sex ones for someone.

Here's a slightly amended quote from one of my early posts about her:

These are the same type of people who drove the transwomen I love from their own spaces by shaming them for having actual sex dysphoria and not "embracing the girl dick" or whatever. Literally what happened to my best friend, and she doesn't deserve that. She's so deeply passionate about women's liberation, believes firmly in female only spaces and sports, in honoring all of women's boundaries, in the definition of homosexuality, regularly argues with our other friends that eliminating all males would objectively result in a better world (with sources lol), calls herself a transwoman only - specifically as one word, for which she has a particular definition predicated on being male - not a woman, and most interestingly, comes across as very much female socialized. And not in a remotely intentional or performative way: it negatively impacts her the same way it does me or any actual woman I know. It's wild.

This is something I'd be interested in proper research on, because according to all her lifelong friends and neighbors, she's always been this way (and has been on an anti-porn crusade since the THIRD fuckin grade). She never internalized male socialization, like at all, and somehow seems to have internalized at least the majority of female socialization. Interacting with her feels exactly like interacting with any woman, no matter the context. I've known her for 6 years or so now and that's been consistently very true. I would NEVER have guessed she wasn't raised female. She completely "passes" but doesn't wear makeup or remove body hair, wears normal clothes like just pants and a shirt, etc. She seems like such a regular woman in every way, but she's not a woman (and she won't call herself one or demand you use she pronouns... I just do because nothing else feels right tbh). Several times, friends have straight up not believed she's transsexual at first.

When I talk about her seeming female-socialized in ways that are negatively impactful, I mean things like struggling to feel like you can say no, being prone to imposter syndrome, feeling like everyone else's needs come before your own, not feeling allowed to take up space, devoting endless emotional labor to those around you even when it's 3am on a work night before a crucial 9am meeting, giving of yourself well beyond what you should... those types of things (which are only a few examples of course) are her to a T, and are things she is working to unlearn for her own wellbeing alongside other women in our friend group.

She experiences sex dysphoria the same way I've described in myself - as a seemingly neurological, very physical sensation (in the same way pain or itchiness are physical sensations), somewhat akin to Phantom Limb. I've described her "social transition" before as "an incidental byproduct of medical transition," which I still think is accurate. She transitioned medically as a last resort measure to treat physical/neurological sex dysphoria, and ended up being perceived as female. It eventually just made logistical sense to assimilate socially. She couldn't care less how others perceive her "gender" or what pronouns they use or any of that, and shares the radfem view on the definition of gender and on gender ideology.

She's in the camp of "transactivism behaves like a cult and is explicitly a men's rights movement." I remember once a couple friends asked her why she was so passionate and outraged about female erasure and lesbian erasure, and she said very simply that "the trans cult has already erased, redefined, rewritten actual transsexual people," so she understands to a small degree the feeling of it, and sees them doing the same to women and homosexuals and can't tolerate it.

Her childhood friends (nearly all female) have said they have pretty much always innately interacted with her like they would with a female friend, and never understood why. I've never had to explain anything about the female experience to her, nor known of anyone else doing so. More often, my other friends and I find ourselves explaining to her that other males absolutely don't know the things she does (regarding both the biological and social aspects) or have the awareness she does, all these things she observed as a little kid, many of which upset her deeply on behalf of her female peers.

She did go through CSA, domestic violence, a trafficking attempt, and other major traumas throughout her childhood and into young adulthood, but the people who've known her her entire life say she was already the way she is in terms of all this stuff before that.

The adults she talks about looking up to as a kid, the ones she latched onto as mentors and who shaped her, are all badass, gnc, and/or feminist women. Her number one role model as a kid was her female karate instructor who had won major competitions all over the country and was very gnc both physically and personality-wise. The memories involving these mentors that she talks about most and remembers most vividly are almost all regarding misogyny and the injustices and cruelty women and girls face.

One other interesting fact is that she's XXY and had gynecomastia and slightly more feminine than normal features such as fat distribution before transition, and her body feminized more from HRT (she only had genital surgery due to extreme intractable dysphoria; she is opposed to any other surgeries like FFS or BA since they're entirely cosmetic to her) than any transwoman I've ever met or even seen pictures of. Most TW I've known barely fit a training bra - she's a D cup. It's so odd to me that she has the seemingly-neurological sex dysphoria AND the weird femsoc thing AND her body responded much more dramatically to estradiol than any other transwoman. I'm at a loss. It drives my little scientist brain crazy.

I have my theories, but ultimately I really don't know how to explain her. I've known a whole lot of trans people, and a whole lot of transwomen in particular, and while I have certainly met a few that don't come across like Gamestop Maam/average AGP vibes, they typically seem more like gay men rather than female-socialized. Even with those who do show some femsoc-like traits, it's not remotely to the degree I see in my friend, and oftentimes it's something they clearly trained themselves into to blend in.

I know there are other gender critical transsexuals out there, but idk if there is anyone else like her. I want to know, tbh, I am really super curious about it and about how/why she is the way she is (as is she lol).

I wanted to share this more concisely since I've mentioned her in multiple reblogs and posts and answers to asks over the years, but haven't really made a post specifically about her. Feel free to ask questions! She's given me full permission to discuss her experiences and whatnot here.

#One of our friends is still convinced it's a big prank and she's not trans at all 💀 #mine #gender critical transsexual #gc transsexual #gc trans #gcts #femsoc #ntsd #neurological type sex dysphoria #sex dysphoria

[the-al-chemist]

Moving forward…

I’m going on a very short publishing break between chapters of the Saga. I’ve reached a point in my HPHM adaptation that I felt demanded a brief pause before continuing straight on. Before I do continue, I wanted to talk a little more about the storyline, particularly the events of Y6C18 of HPHM and Y6C8 of the Saga, and what will come after.

I’ve put a cut in as this post contains spoilers for HPHM and discussion of death/grief.

I know when Y6C18 of HPHM dropped, people’s reactions were naturally very strong. There was disbelief, sadness, anger… All the natural responses we feel to loss and death in real life. And that makes sense, the characters we love in the stories we read, watch, play, and write become close to our hearts. That’s why people engage in fandom in the first place.

I found out about Rowan’s death accidentally whilst looking online for a summary to help me remember what happened during the first few years of the game when I returned to playing it after a break. I didn’t believe it, to the point that I had to go back and re-read the article and look up a second to make myself realise that it wasn’t a mistake. Killing off the second-most major character in the story with more than 1/7th of the plot to go? One that has been there since the beginning? That was brutal, shocking, upsetting, and… brave. Rowan is a beloved character, and making the decision to remove her from the story in such a final way was a risk.

When I read about this, I had already started considering using the game and my MC from it for writing practice. But I think the thing that made me think that this had the potential to be more than just a collection of short stories and instead one large overarching series was this plot twist, or, more specifically, what it represented/what followed it.

I’ve seen Rowan’s death being critiqued as unnecessarily cruel, inappropriate for the target audience of the game, and downright lazy storytelling. I actually disagree on all three points, and in this essay I will…

I’m not actually going to write an essay, but I will say this. Loss is - sadly - a part of life. It’s something that affects everyone. It is cruel by its very nature, but it is a reality. That’s why it is featured so heavily in stories intended for all ages, from the five-year-old crying over Mufasa in the Lion King to adults with their jaws dropped open in response to Ned Stark’s beheading in Game of Thrones.

Death is used in many ways in stories. It’s used for shock value, it’s used to drive a plot forward, it’s used to allow readers (especially in children’s stories) to experience a difficult reality and explore difficult emotions in a safe way, and it’s used to symbolise the ending of something other than just the character who has died. In coming of age stories, the thing that ends is childhood. And that is why Rowan’s death makes sense, at least in the story that I’m trying to tell. She’s the first friend Artemis makes, she’s there even before Hogwarts is. She symbolises this innocent time in Artemis’ life, and the fact that she dies just before both she and Artemis turn seventeen (the age of adulthood in their universe) is not a coincidence. Her death marks this irrevocable change and makes one thing clear about the characters in this story: These are not children anymore.

Where I do think that JC had it wrong was the handling of Rowan’s death in the chapters after. We had one chapter of the castle mourning, the following chapter to form the Circle of Khanna in her honour, and then it was back to business as usual until the Head Boy/Girl sidequest. I can see why they did this; lingering on a topic as tough as grief isn’t easy, especially when you are marketing a game, but I don’t think that it gave the characters or players time to really process the loss of Rowan as a character, and I think that is what made it feel a little cheap and hollow.

With that in mind, I’ve really tried to use the chapters following Rowan’s death to explore the feelings that these characters, particularly Artemis, have in the aftermath. I am aware that loss is something that affects all of us, and I am aware that many readers might find parts of the story difficult or upsetting to read. I promise you wholeheartedly that it is not my intention to cause harm with my storytelling, and I have tried my utmost to write this subject with the levity and sensitivity it deserves.

To do this, I went through a period of research to try and understand grief a little better. In the process, I found several resources that may be helpful for anyone who is affected by this topic:

Mind Mental Health

Good Grief Trust

Young Minds

Marie Curie

BBC Actionline

A couple of these have links to even more resources which are free and could be really helpful.

So, I have ended up writing an essay after all. But I felt like I needed to. Lots of love to all of you.

Al x

#al speaks #hogwarts mystery #hphm fic #hphm #the hexley saga #hphm spoilers #about redacted #artemis hexley

[plan-d-to-i]

Hi Plan,

Probably You might've answered this already. Is so, Please Link it.

I would like to know, Where did this "WWX, LWJ was suffering from PTSD or any other mental illness" take comes from???

I admit I started out with CQL and then I read the novel but I've never found at any page where the Author mentioned anything about Trauma or mental illness. I always see ppl portraying them as victims... Whereas I see them as two Heroic Figures with strong moral conviction....

Is this something common in this fandom??? Because I am fairly new and it's just annoying to see these amazing characters getting reduced into some Drama Queens🙄🙄🙄

I think that's just fandom in general. People are always trying to make characters more relatable for themselves. These days that means frequently giving them x identity. In terms of characterization it's probably some cql leaching into things as well. And ofc "trauma" is always thrown around a lot. If the character doesn't show any symptoms of it, it must be just because they don't know it yet! Or ~no symptoms must be a symptom >:0~! WWX in particular seems to suffer a lot from this treatment in fandom. Which is odd because he only really has one thing he can't get over, that fandom is far less understanding of, and that's dogs! (Both in the case of jc stans who use it to try to make their fav into a victim, or bc many ppl like dogs and want their fav to like them too.) As for everything else, WWX has a pretty healthy way of processing things for himself in the end.

After staring at this face for a long while, Wei Wuxian rubbed it again a few more times, massaged his eyes, and thudded back onto the shore. 

It wasn’t that he couldn’t endure others’ harsh tongues and nasty words. After all, when he had first made his decision, he had understood perfectly clearly the kind of road that lay ahead. His mind had long reminded him: remember the motto of the Yunmeng Jiang Clan—“attempt the impossible.”

Only, he had believed his heart to be an unmovable stone. Yet, in the end, humans were not rocks or vegetation.

The little donkey seemed to recognise his low mood and, for once, didn’t impatiently moan and bray."

This only comes right after he overhears the cultivators discussing Jin Ling and YanLi (and his own encounter with Jin Ling). And again about his core in a very similar vein:

"It wasn’t something he liked to reminisce about. He didn’t want to be reminded again and again of what it felt like when his core was cut out or what price he had to pay. If this were exposed in the past, he’d most likely laugh and comfort Jiang Cheng, ‘It’s not that big of a deal anyways. Look at me all these years. Without the core, I still managed to come through, didn’t I? Beating everyone I wanted to beat, killing everyone I wanted to kill.’ But now, he indeed didn’t have the strength left to put up such a confident, nonchalant pretense.

From the bottom of his heart, he knew he wasn’t so indifferent about it after all.

Was it really that easy to move on from such a thing?

Of course not."

He's not dwelling on it. He's not blaming himself. He's not struggling with resentment. He's not spiraling in grief. So it's not like we need to make up WWX's feelings as we go along and just decide he must always be secretly traumatized. A lot of those type of posts also have this weird 'he's too oblivious to know if he were traumatized' flavor to them... Which leads to- there's also a significant difference between WWX allowing himself to acknowledge that he's faced hardships, and it wasn't a lark now that he has the space and time to do it, and the woe is I, everyone owes me, victim mentality so much of fandom imposes on him. That just erases a really significant aspect of his character, in the interest of making him more understandable and palatable to people who seemingly can't wrap their minds around someone going through trying things without making those things their entire personality.

#deeply apologetic for the delayed responses. have been away from my computer the past few days :) x #mdzs #answers #Wei Wuxian #Lan Wangji

[missnight0wl]

I honestly think it doesn’t make sense that Rakepick Began searching for the vaults, had a lil whoopsie then buggered off leaving it all unfinished only to start searching for the vaults again a few years later.

I think after the little whoopsie she had to bugger off. And then maybe she returned to them in Y4 bc she heard that Jacob’s sibling is now getting involved with them. Like she cared for Jacob and was semi-responsible for him getting trapped or whatever and she’s Not going to let his little sibling get fucked over too whether it be from R or something else (like Also getting trapped in a vault)

And then I think this idea links to Rakepick’s whole “R can make you work for them without you even knowing.” Rakepick came back to Protect Mc from R only to find out she’s Ultimately Helping R (since you know, Mc’s dad prolly Is R)

I mean… Rakepick’s story is such a mess if we want to believe in what JC is giving us.

Like, I hear what you’re saying with: “maybe she returned to them in Y4 bc she heard that Jacob’s sibling is now getting involved with them”. But here’s the thing: why she didn’t return earlier? First of all, it was well known that MC is involved with the Cursed Vaults since the end of Y2. They tell Rowan at the beginning of Y3 that The Daily Prophet wrote about it, so everyone knows. All Rakepick had to do is to come to Hogwarts and say: “Hey, Albus, I heard you have some curses to break. How about I deal with it?”. But more importantly, it becomes even more ridiculous when we consider that Dumbledore was actively searching for her since Y1 and wanted her to come. So, again, why she didn’t? It doesn’t make sense whether she had good or bad intentions.

Also, I get your point that Rakepick was doing what R wanted all along, and I actually talked about a similar idea a while ago. But even here, we still have a problem that the Red Cloak told us in Y4 to stay away from Rakepick. And I just don’t see what was the point of bringing up her name at all in that situation. Seriously, if the first Messenger warned MC only about staying away from the Cursed Vaults, it’d be way less problematic. But that’s also why I came up with my theory about false memories: because I believe that something changed between R and Rakepick only in Y5.

Finally, your idea of Rakepick feeling semi-responsible really reminds me of my version of the story where Jacob died between Y4 and Y5. I do think that it’d be a very interesting motivation for her character. However, on its own, it doesn’t explain the issues I mentioned above, for example.

If you want to read more about the ideas I mentioned above, you can check these posts:

Why Rakepick didn’t appear before Y4? Pretty vast analysis, but it explains quite a lot.

In this post, I talked about the idea of Rakepick “working” for R, in the way you proposed in your message (it's a short one, so I really do recommend reading it).

Is Jacob dead? This theory uses the idea of Rakepick feeling responsible for Jacob.

Sorry for sending you away to other posts like that, but I just think I explained things pretty well there, and I believe you might be interested in reading it. No pressure, though, of course.

#hogwarts mystery #hphm #hphm datamine #hphm spoilers #patricia rakepick #hphm r #ask #its probably for the best

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #004

(aaand this one was earlier today, so caught up!)

What beverage do you prefer to drink in the mornings? I am an awful person who is very serious about my morning Mtn. Dew AHHHHHHHHHHHH Tell me what some of your nearest & dearest like to eat for breakfast. Uhhh wow, I actually don't really know. Mom hates eating because since chemo, she's always gotten terribly nauseous afterwards, but obviously does eat. As of recently I do know she's been making scrambled eggs a lot for the protein since she apparently needs that. What colour was the last car you traveled in? It's white. Do your pets have a specific type of food that they prefer? Roman prefers fancier wet cat food, and I know Cookie prefers some sort of more expensive food as well. Mom tends to mix a bit in with both of their foods most mornings. What’s your favourite variety of apple? I don't really have a favorite color, I just care that it's a firm apple with zero mushiness. What are you listening to? I finally listened to Ozzy's new song "Patient No. 9" and UMMMMMM i am OBSESSED so it is on repeat laksdjfl;ajew Are you looking forward to anything within the next few days? Not really, no. When you woke up today, did you have unread messages on any social platform? No. What’s something you used to believe in that you don’t anymore? For most of my life I had shitty, disciminative conservative beliefs as a whole. Thank fucking god I grew out of it all myself, but jc I coulda done with someone knocking me out lmao like why did mfs spare me What do you admire most in a person? Resilience, particularly from traumatic events. It is NOT easy to just always keep going; it takes an incredible breed of strength. What’s your favorite dinosaur? It has always been the spinosaurus, ever since I was a kid, through all anatomical adjustments that have been discovered. I am also very fond of social raptors too, though. Do you believe in reincarnation? If so, what would you like to be reincarnated as? Nah, but I don't think it's completely impossible. Do you ever use the grounding technique "54321?" Yes, and it's very helpful. What’s the silliest thing you’ve gotten injured from? idk Where would you relocate if you were forced to leave your place of residence? Uh, either Dad's place or far more preferably Girt's. Living with my "Covid is a government scheme" bigot of a stepmother would eventually cause problems, I know it would. Hell, to be honest, my boyfriend's mom might even be problematic with how anti-religion I am; I'm immediately defending her first with I absolutely do not know how deep her religious side goes, but if it's the shitty intensity that tries to encroach on others', oh there would be problems. Do you play any instruments? I played the flute all through middle school and I wanna say three years of HS, and I was consistently a pretty high chair at it. I don't even remember the vast majority of notes now, haha. I also took lessons for the electric guitar very briefly. I wish I'd kept up with it. Fucking props to guitarists, it was NOT easy. What is an unpopular opinion you have? The government was 120% to SOME degree in on 9/11. Research that shit. Those were fucking pre-placed bombs, not just planes. Have you ever done a crazy dare? No, not my thing. What’s the oddest text you’ve received? Something Jason once asked me early into our relationship that is not going to be repeated. Caused a fight. Looking back, I honestly overreacted. What’s something you believe everyone should have? Shelter and access to food and water at the very, very bare minimum. Do you believe love is blind? Certainly. If you owned a restaurant, what would you serve? Man idk, I have zero desire to own a restaurant. Have you ever met a president? Nope. What food tastes better than its appearance to you? Uhhh this is hard with how picky I am, haha. I guess sloppy joes? Do you actively post on social media? Well I did make a new Tumblr that I'ma try and be active on. I also "share" a lot of stuff on Facebook, but I practically never post about my own life. What’s the best name you’ve heard a pet named? My shitty uncle's family once had a dog named "Pia," which really just stood for "pain in the ass" lmao. That was sa good damn dog. Would you rather have multiple hobbies or 1 true passion? Multiple hobbies. I get more joy out of diversity, although for me personally I always do gravitate towards one BIG obsession. Like I like other things, but they're tamer interests. Then there are ~incidences~ such as with meerkats, Rhett & Link/GMM, Mark, and Rammstein. Do you listen to podcasts? Which ones? Nope. Would you say you’re good at saving money? I honestly don't think I've had enough experience with money to confidently answer this. Have you ever ridden in the front of a roller coaster? Bitch I will go down FIGHTIN if you try to get me on a rollercoaster, nvm the front car. Has anyone ever given you a gag gift? Possibly, I don't know. Have you ever broken into a public place, like a high school, after it was late and secluded? No, but it's one of those subdued cool ideas, haha. Like I'd totally do it if I wouldn't get arrested or anything, but at the same time it's not like a dream or something. Have you ever gone to the movies and hopped from movie to movie all day? No, now that's something I don't want to do. Would you be interested in going scuba-diving? YES Have you ever had sex with someone you didn’t love? No. Have you ever been in a cave? NO, I WISH. :( Do you know anyone who’s painfully socially awkward? bitch me, like i nearly burst an artery everytime i speak to someone Do you actually know anyone named "Bill" or "Bob?" I have a NON-insane uncle named Bill. He's the one that's leading the charge against my shithead one. Do you tend to sneeze a certain number of times in a row? Yes, twice or thrice. One of those. One is my mom and the other is me. I can't remember which is which lmao. Who were you last in a hot tub with? Oh jeez. I legit haven't been in a hot tub since the apartment... so Jason, Jacob, and Amanda. Have you ever sold anything to a pawn shop? No. Is there anything other than clothes in your dresser? practice safe sex kids What’s in your closet? Uhhhh hoodies, jackets, "fancy" shirts, my flute and guitar, "treasure" box, uhhh... other stuff but I don't feel like going to look. How many pictures do you take of yourself in a week? Shit, I generally take zero a month. Has anyone ever sent you flowers? Yes. Have you ever had a water balloon war? As a kid, yeah! Good times. The most expensive clothing item you own; how much did it cost? I have zero idea. Have you ever found a member of the same sex attractive? Yep, I'm pan. Literally anyone can be sexually attractive to me. Have you ever seen an eclipse? I have seen lunar eclipses. Have you ever been in any kind of an abusive relationship? No. What kind of parent do you think you’ll be? I won't be a parent. Even with the direction the government is going now, I honestly think I would illegally terminate if I god forbid got pregnant, because otherwise I would almost certainly *slides finger across throat* so with that being said: Fuck The Supreme Court. What kind of parents do you have? Dedicated, supportive, hard-working, loving ones. What is the most exciting thing that’s ever happened to you? It is literally still when Markiplier reblogged the gif I made of him and his dog/child Chica and I couldn't sleep for three fucking days because he noticed my existence lmao. Damn that Tumblr better get revived bro, I had some Quality gifs on there. Have you ever had a Nutella and marshmallow fluff sandwich? No, but now I NEED to try that. What keeps you up at night? Nowadays, my hypomania. Do you or would you wear apparel with your favorite character from a TV show, movie, or video game? UGH I want more video game merch shirts for sure. Have you ever seen an NC-17 film? Can you name one? I have no clue. Have you ever been in a house with an elevator in it? No. What Rock Band or Guitar Hero games have you played? What would be your favorite? Holy cow, SO many. I was a pro at the game and pretty much collected them. .I'd say my favorite *might* have been Metallica's edition of GH. Have you ever watched a film that was originally in English in a different language? I don't believe so. Your favorite animal (or one you really like): Is it the whole species you like or are you just interested in one breed of it (example with dogs: You like all dogs but mostly pugs)? Meerkats have four known sub-species I believe, and I love them all, BUT I find the Kalahari-dwelling subspecies (suricata suricatta siricatta) to be the most attractive. Possibly Meerkat Manor bias, haha. Were you upset when you found out certain things weren’t real? (Santa, Tooth Fairy...) I mean I wasn't devastated. I pretty much already knew before I was told. Name something you’re proud of. Brag a little bit. I'm proud of how DP came out. :') And we're not even totally done yet! It was just SO long of feeling like I was making the most minimal edits, but it's all coming together. <3 Where would you like to go right now? Well I'd need a shower first but it'd be extremely nice to see my boyfriend after his 18-day work gauntlet where seeing each other just wasn't practical because of gas, sleep, and time. Name a random fact. I'M LOSING WEIGHT AGAIN lkjfalk;sdjfa;kldwjfql;wjeiow this thyroid med doin WORK What’s been an embarrassing phase you went through? Y'all remember the "LAWL SO RANDOM!!!!!! XD" phase? I wish I didn't. Would you ever move a far distance for a relationship? If it meant Girt and me staying together, yes. I can almost guarantee it's not something he would do though for the sake of knowing he can get right to his mother if she needs him. What’s the ugliest animal in your opinion? Blobfish, I know you get picked on a lot, but c'mon, my man. What about cutest? Meerkats, esp. the pups. :') What song describes your life currently? No idea. Are you in any pain currently? No, just kinda tired. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? I have not. What’s a law you would create if possible? Hey how about we fucking keep abortion completely legal, or is a stretch to prioritize a more developed life with dreams, goals, memories, plans, morals, and educated emotions? fuck outta here Have you given any thought about what the Christian god looks like? The devil. :) What’s your most used emojis? Either the crying or laughing one. How many slices of pizza can you eat in one sitting? 2-3, depends on how hungry I am. I have to be absolutely fucking starving for four. Do you prefer to fix things yourself or always call an expert? I mean, it depends. I lean more towards the second option though because I always worry I'll fuck something up.

#survey #surveys