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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #408

“tied to the rat race / a big bird in a small cage”

Who, whether a person or company, emails you the most? I really don't check my email enough to even know. If you were given an assignment to draw anything besides stick figures or just doodles, what would you draw? A meerkat of course, ha ha. Do you play the games on MySpace/Facebook? I never did. Well no, I did play "Dragons of Atlantis" when Facebook bought it or whatever, but now that it's a mobile game, I don't play anything on there. When was the last time you were sunburnt? Ha, actually now. It's from riding an hour to and an hour back from the TMS office every weekday; the sun coming in through the window got my arm. Who all do you live with? My mom and my two pets. Has a guy ever let you wear his jacket? Yeah. It was so comforting when Jason gave me his leather jacket to wear if I was cold; it was pretty big on me at that time and just really cozy. Thanks survey, now I feel like crying. :^) How many friends do you have of the opposite sex? Like, one. Do you have bird feeders hanging up outside? What about any hanging plants? No. Does your house have sliding glass doors? No. Was the last food item you ate part of a meal or a snack? A snack. What color is your hair brush? I don't use a brush, but a white comb. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? I think I prefer sunny for the sake of helping keep my depression at bay, but sometimes I really do enjoy some nice steady rainfall at the window. Who’s the last person that you hugged, not family? I have no idea. What will your next piercing be? Probably getting my nostril re-pierced. How many people have you kissed, that you can HONESTLY say you loved? Two. Can you recall the last time you liked someone a lot? uhhhhhhhhhh now What’s scarier: spiders or worms? Worms gross me out, but a spider is more likely to actually scare me, but at the same time fascinate me. Do you play poker for real money? No. If you were pregnant, how long would you wait to tell the dad? I'd tell him immediately. Would you ever date out of your own race? I have in the past, and I would again. Do you still watch movies intended for children? Yeah. Hell, more than half the time they're better than "grown up" movies. What’s your favorite movie trilogy? Uhhhh does TLK count? ha ha What would you like to take lessons in? German. Whose Facebook password do you have? Just my own. Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school? No. Have you ever crawled through a window? Yes. Are you too forgiving? Yuuuup. Ever have a sleepover with the opposite sex? Well, we were dating. Have you ever gotten someone suspended? No. Have you ever wanted to be a teacher? No. Would you live with someone without marrying them? Yes; I believe you really probably should before getting married so you see if you "fit" as far as household habits and such go. Have you ever wanted to strip naked in front of someone? Yeah no. I'd feel way too awkward. What are you listening to? A John Wolfe video. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? My mom. Did anyone watch you the last time you kissed someone? I mean possibly, it was a public place, and some people are definitely caught off-guard by seeing two girls kiss. Do either of your parents have any tattoos or piercings? No. Mom wants a tattoo, though, dedicated to all of us kids and her grandkids. Are you desperate for anyone’s approval, in particular? -_- Would you ever stalk a celebrity? Um, no???? You don't stalk ANYBODY. It's a violation of space, privacy, basic respect... Do you have any National Geographic magazines lying around? No. Have you ever been mistaken for the opposite gender? No. Do you use liquid foundation, mousse, or just powder? None. Have you ever picked out a song to listen to on a juke box? Maybe? I don't remember. Have you ever eaten 3 meals from 3 different fast food places in one day? Oh god, I hope not. I don't remember ever having done that. Have you ever ridden in a limo? No. I always wanted to as a kid. Have you ever tried to put a huge puzzle together? Yeah, I have. I used to like to do that with my mom especially. Ever wake up early on Saturdays to go garage sale shopping? Yes, actually. My family used to love to do that. Do you keep magazines by your toilet? No. Ya better just bring your phone. What did you last take a picture of with your camera? On my actual camera, a hydrangea bush. On the camera on my phone, I believe my cat. Are you proud of who you are? Not... really. If you were a waiter/waitress, would you make good tips? Nope. I'm too awkward and I would NEVER write the orders down quickly enough. I write so slow. What are the best kind of Girl Scout cookies? The chocolate and peanut butter ones. If you hit an animal while driving, would you stop to see if it was okay? Well I doubt it's okay, but I would absolutely stop to move it away from the road and sob my eyes out. I'd probably try to find some flowers to rest on it. What's your favorite kind of pasta? Spaghetti. Have you ever played computer solitaire for hours on end? I don't even know how to play solitaire. What's the dumbest thing you've heard of that supposedly causes cancer? Who the hell knows, everything does apparently. If you saw wet cement, would you place your handprint in it? No. Can you honestly tell the difference between DiGiorno and delivery pizza? Absolutely. Do you own a lava lamp? No, but I would looove one. What charity or cause would you donate $1,000 to if possible? Off the top of my head, the Trevor Project. I'd probably research before actually donating, though. What would you say is your greatest strength? I guess that I care a lot about people. What's one food that you find too disgusting to eat? Things like clams, es cargot, sashimi... just ew. What's something that will never bore you? Uhhhh good question. Pizza Hut or Domino's? Domino's, by a long shot. What's something that always, no matter what, makes you laugh? Stupid Vines, lol. Have you ever been in a canoe? No. How many vehicles does your family own? Just one, my mom's. Are you generally afraid of taking risks? Yes. Have you ever caught/swatted a fly in/with your hand? Ew, no. Would you ever dye your hair bubblegum pink? Yeah. What was the last thing to happen that you really weren't expecting? The woman whose wedding I shot TWO YEARS ago finally reaching out to me about buying some pictures. What does it mean when you start eating less? What does it mean when you start eating more? If I'm eating less, odds are I'm extremely serious about losing weight. If I'm eating more than usual, high odds are I'm depressed or bored. Or I'm on my period. What’s the strangest named pet you’ve ever had? Harry Potter, ha ha. He was a guinea pig. What are some defense mechanisms you find yourself using when in an argument with someone? I'm very likely to just metaphorically flee from it because I fear confrontation so much. Do you know if there is anyone who was once important to you that you will never talk to again, even though you could? If I have any say in it, I'm never talking to Colleen again. List the initials of every person you have ever kissed, from first kiss to most recent kiss. (Put “?”s in the place of initials you don’t know.) I'm not listing their last initial, but anyway: J, T, G, S. Does your face break out right before your period? Not "break out," no. I'll just get a pimple or two. What did you dream about last night? All I remember was that it focused on Jason and his late mother. I miss her so much. I hope so much that whatever exists beyond death, she found the peace she was so worthy of. Do you think the United States health care system needs reform? FUCK yes I do. Our health care system is a disgusting fucking nightmare. Who was the last person you cried over? Jason. My PTSD has been doing quite well, but I had an emotional episode recently nonetheless. Do you prefer ceiling fans or fans that stand up on the floor and you plug in? I use both, but I think my preference is ceiling ones. What would you do if your son was at home, crying all alone on the bedroom floor because he’s hungry, and the only way to feed him was to sleep with a man for a little bit of money? Hypothetically, if I had a child, if I'm totally honest, I probably would. I would hate it, but I'm not letting my child starve to death if I can do something about it. Why do you think evolution is true/false? Because there is substantial evidence for it and imo is the most logical theory we've thought up. Some things about it seem kinda far-fetched, but I still have faith in it. I trust scientists and the evolution we see firsthand, such as caterpillars to cocoons, tadpoles to frogs, etc. Who came through for you at a time when you really, really needed it? Colleen. She let me live with her when I was technically homeless. What turned out better than you thought? Good question. What object did you used to, or do you still, keep hidden? My drawings. I've flipped my shit when Mom's found them in the past, even though she went on and on about how "amazing" they were. I don't draw anything "bad" at all, but still, I don't like people seeing my creativity. Who can’t you figure out? My damn self. What are you hoping for? The most recent thing would be hoping Shonda buys a lot, if not all, the wedding photos I took. I desperately want to use the money along with what I have left from Christmas to buy Venus' terrarium and proper supplies all by myself. What’s the best physical object that you kept from a previous relationship? Idk, there's a few things. What is the most socially unacceptable thing that you have no problem with? Maybe women not shaving. Like I couldn't care less. What have you done that you surprised yourself by doing? *shrug* What used to be a secret about you? Hm. Anything that used to be a secret probably still is one. What is the most stalky thing you’ve ever done? Just Facebook digging, and that's not something I've done a lot off. What did you wind up liking that you didn’t want anything to do with at first? The only thing that comes to mind at the moment is something sexual, so let's not go into that. Who do you owe your life that you can never pay back? Mom and Jason have both saved me from what would've been suicide attempts.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''monkey tree'' by mother mother

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ofgunsandlipstick · 6 years

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Chill

@mrgaretcarter MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

I am sorry this took me so long to get out. I hope you’ve had a wonderful holiday season! I tried to give you a little angst and a little fluff. Hope you enjoy!

Title: Chill Rating: G+ (for mild language) Summary: Steve’s plane has been found. Peggy won’t see him.

Read on ao3

She barely keeps her grip on the telephone receiver. “Peggy? Hello? Carter?” Howard’s voice crackles to life in her ear, tinny and loud, each question sounding more and more concerned. “Peg, you still there?”

Peggy takes a shaky breath. “Yes, Howard. I’m still here.”

“I found him, Peg. I found Steve.”

. . .

She has too much to do to greet the ship. But that doesn’t mean it’s far from her mind. In fact, each and every day, she thinks that she should stop by the facility where Howard tells her Steve is recovering. But she doesn’t.

Peggy tells herself it’s because she’s too busy, she’ll stop by the moment she gets a free one. She can’t slack off at work; it would give the men too much to point to as a flaw. There is no room for a woman’s imperfection in the bullpen of the SSR.

A treacherous little voice in the back of her head points out that the reason she’s so busy is because she chooses to be. She works longer hours, more shifts, than anyone else in that office. No one would notice if she were to take a single day.

She chooses not to think about it too hard. Peggy’s not given over to introspection.

The weather grows colder, fall turning to winter. Peggy bundles up in scarves and heavy coats and still can’t summon the courage to make it to the facility. Howard phones weekly with updates.

Steve wakes and—Howard tells her in a voice really more self-righteous than he has any right to—asks after her. She almost sends a cordial note expressing gratitude for his recovery, but that seems even worse than simple silence somehow.

Peggy finds herself restless and far more snappish than she’s been. She spends hours in the agency’s gym, pummeling punching bags. And more than once going into work with taped up hands. She’s losing weight too—her cheekbones stand in sharper relief than they usually do—so she avoids looking in the mirror if she can help it.

At least the bulkier clothes of winter hide the way she’s growing gaunt. And her snappish demeanor keeps most of the other agents out of her way.

It doesn’t do her any favors at the automat.

“Alright, English, spill,” Angie says, sliding a piece of chocolate cake in front of her before untying her apron and plunking down in Peggy’s booth.

“Don’t you have customers?”

“I’m on my fifteen. Let’s go.”

“There’s nothing to spill, I’m afraid,” Peggy sniffs imperiously. “Unless you count my coffee, of course.”

The stare that Angie gives her could only be described as withering. Generals in the United States Army would be well-served to study her. Peggy does her best to keep her face completely straight, but even she finds herself bowing under the pressure.

“You’ve been nothing but a ball of anger for the past month and a half,” Angie informs her. “At first I was thinking you were sour with me, but then you talked the same way to Mr. Fancy. So then I thought, well, maybe it’s just that time of the month-”

“Angie!”

Angie steamrolls right past her objection. “But no, you’ve been downright mean for the past six weeks. So who’s the guy?”

The nonsensical connection takes Peggy by enough surprise that she almost laughs. “I’m not sure I know what you mean.”

“You’re not eating, you’re a piece of work almost all the time, you’re running around at all hours of the night. My nonna says anybody acting like that’s in love or out. But it’s one of the two. So spill.”

“Angie-”

“Don’t you dare, English. Don’t you dare try to tell me different.” She gestures forcefully with the metal fork, suggesting just where Peggy might find that fork if she doesn’t think about her next few words very, very carefully.

The stubborn set of the woman’s jaw tells Peggy that if she doesn’t share now, she’ll be paying for it until she does. In a myriad of increasingly torturous and creative ways. Peggy puts nothing past Angie Martinelli.

After the fiasco with Howard, Angie knows enough to be caught up on Peggy’s history. But somehow she can’t find the words to explain exactly what has happened. Besides, as far as she knows, Captain America’s triumphant return continues to be a state secret.

“It’s just… an old friend of mine’s returned.”

“Boyfriend?”

Peggy’s lips purse. “Well, uh, no, not exactly. We never, that is…”

She wouldn’t have called Steve her boyfriend at any point in their time together. The word is simultaneously far too much and entirely inadequate, which gives Peggy a slight headache.

“Gotchya.” Angie nods knowingly and Peggy’s surprised to realize that she trusts that she does. “So your special friend is back in town and you saw him and it went disastrously.”

“Not exactly.”

“What do you mean not exactly?”

“I haven’t seen him yet. I just know he’s back.”

“Oh, for Pete’s sake, English! You don’t get to be this miserable over somebody you haven’t even seen yet!”

“It’s not-”

Holding up a hand, Angie silences her with a single withering glance. “Oh, no, no, no, honey, don’t even start.”

Peggy sighs, dropping her chin into her hand.

“Yup. That’s lovesickness if I ever saw it.”

Peggy groans and rests her head on the table.

Her friend pushes the cake further in front of her. “Eat up, English. Put some meat on those bones. Then we’ll deal with the rest.”

. . .

They come up with a plan of attack. Peggy will go to the facility and Steve, fully prepared to grovel. She will be honest but kind, and goose her story with just a hint of the whole national security responsibility thing. It makes her feel better to have a plan.

She needn’t have bothered.

Peggy’s running late for work and in a thunderously poor mood. Thompson has gotten less directly antagonistic lately, but he’s still looking for any and all reasons he can sneer at her work ethic, the bastard. A delay of ten minutes could very well be a cataclysm in his eyes. She enters the bullpen spoiling for a fight, ready to stand up for herself when Thompson inevitably makes a comment about the time. Instead, she runs into a brick wall.

Well, not so much a brick wall as a person with the size and tensile strength of a brick wall. Before she even looks up, Peggy is hit by a dizzying wave of aftershave. It’s not strong, but she knows it and she knows when she looks up, it will be Steve’s face looking back at her.

She’s not wrong.

His face is more angular than she remembers and he’s grown a slight beard. She’s never liked facial hair and yet somehow it only makes him look more attractive. He’s always beautiful—how many times had she nearly lost herself during a meeting staring at those soft blue eyes and long, dark lashes. And those hands…

Peggy shakes herself. Not the time. She takes a step back and that’s when she notices the determined set of his jaw.

“Agent Carter,” he greets her and she supposes she deserves the cold formality, but it’s surprising how much it hurts. He’s wearing an ill-fitting suit that somehow manages to be too tight in some places and baggy in others.

“Captain Rogers.”

There’s an awkward, pregnant pause before he looks around and sighs. “Look, can we talk?”

“Aren’t we already?” She can’t help but be slightly antagonistic if he’s going to be so withholding.

He looks pained. “Peggy.”

She sighs and says, “Follow me,” before leading him into the conference room, shutting the door but leaving the blinds open. No need to encourage gossip. Turning to face Steve, she waits.

More silence. Steve paces. He’s nervous, she can tell, but the pacing is a good sign. Steve only goes still if he’s deathly serious. At least, that’s how he used to be.

Peggy just waits, watching in silence as he rakes a hand through his hair. After several laps around the room, he stills, looking over at her.

“It’s customary to say hello,” she comments.

“I’m not sure, but I’m pretty sure so is visiting your friends in the hospital.”

Peggy raises her eyebrow. “Is that what we are then? Friends?”

There’s color high in his cheeks, but to his credit, he pushes on. “If we’re anything else, you’re digging yourself a deeper hole.”

She sighs. “I’m sorry, Steve. I did mean to call.”

“Call.” His brows furrow, his lips pinch and she knows she’s said the wrong thing again. Jesus, she’s terrible at this.

She blinks and says nothing. Another bad move. He sighs heavily.

“It was good to see you, Peggy,” he says and walks out the door.

Peggy swears under her breath.

. . .

She goes another two days without incident. Peggy does her Christmas shopping—there isn’t much to do. Bourbon for Howard, schnapps and sheet music for Angie, good chocolates and decent tea for Mr. Jarvis. She walks by a set of beautiful colored pencils and picks them up for no particular reason (at least, that’s what she tells herself).

Dropping by the automat to drop off Angie’s gift, she’s met with a most unwelcome sight—Angie, leaning her hip against Peggy’s usual booth, which is occupied by none other than Steve.

She stalks over. “Are you stalking me now?”

Steve shrugs. “Howard said you eat here a lot.”

Angie’s jaw hangs open for a moment. “Maybe I’ll just go get you two some coffee…” she says in a way that makes Peggy certain she’s going to stand by the coffee pot and watch.

“You could sit if you want,” Steve offers. He seems less unsettled than the other day. Peggy slides into the booth across from him, hands folded in front of her as she waits for him to speak.

But he says nothing, just watches her, staid and quiet.

Peggy fidgets under his gaze. He waits.

“I wanted to see you,” she admits finally. “I just…”

“I got you a Christmas gift,” he says, throwing Peggy off yet again. She hates how off-kilter he’s gotten her. He slides a flat package across to her.

It’s a record—Bing Crosby. She tilts her head. When she looks up, Steve has a small, hopeful little smile that sets her heart fluttering in a way it hasn’t in two years. Since he smiled at her last.

“I shouldn’t have cornered you at work like that,” he says. “But when you didn’t come, I thought- well, I don’t know what I thought. But I wanted to see you and that was the only way I could think of.”

“I could have given you a warmer reception,” admits Peggy.

“Look, Peg, I don’t know what’s going on in your life anymore. I tried not to ask Howard too much- didn’t want to pry. I know it’s been awhile and things change. You’ve probably moved on. But I just figured this way you could get your dance. With whoever the right partner is.”

He’s so earnest, so beyond anything Peggy’s behavior the past few months deserves. She could cry. Looking down, she bites her bottom lip before speaking. “I wanted to come see you, Steve. Really. But I- at first, I just didn’t want to see you in that bed and then… I was scared, Steve. Made it through a whole war and the thought of seeing you again terrified me.”

“Why?” He’s never been one to pull punches.

And he deserves honesty. “Because if you didn’t look at me in the same way, it would have crushed me.”

Steve reaches out, takes her hand “You’re the only one for me, Peggy. You always have been.”

Her heart hammers; there’s a lump in her throat making it nearly impossible to speak. “I’ve missed you, Steve. Every single day.”

In a single fluid move, Steve’s pulled her to standing and banded solid arms around her. She wants to step away—they’re in public after all—but she’s never letting him go. Not again. So she buries her face in the side of his neck and sighs. For the longest time, that’s all they do. There’s tension in his body that suggests he’d like more and holding back on her account.

Reaching up, Peggy pulls his face down to meet hers, pressing her lips softly to his. “Happy Christmas, Steve,” she murmurs. “Thank you for finding me.”

The tips of his ears are bright red and his grin could light New York for the whole of a year. “Merry Christmas, Peggy. Thanks for letting me.”

When Angie drops off two pieces of chocolate cake, they’re sitting on the same side of the table.

Peggy discovers that it’s very difficult to eat with a single hand. But Steve’s got a tight grip on her other one and she’s not going to pull away from that. Not ever again.

#mrgaretcarter #steggysecretsanta #steggy secret santa

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