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#does anyone care about space jam spoilers
escargon · 1 year
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the space jam 2 post (spoilers)
Tl;Dr: there should have actually been conflict with the toons so that bugs relationship with them as his family could have been better explored as a parallel to LeBron James’ character. What we got was a contrived mess that did nothign for anyone and weakens the whole movie, also wasting everyones time.
My biggest gripe with this movie is the disconnect between the way Bugs is written and portrayed and the motivation given as to why he was abandoned at all. The first time Bugs is introduced he is alone, having been abandoned by the rest of the Tunes leaving for greener pastures within the Warner Brothers serververse. Bugs is not shown to have done anything that would warrant being abandoned, nowhere does the film imply explicit, deliberate coercion on the part of the antagonist in separating his friends from him nor does it even use the visual medium of the pictures shown on the screen that they were unhappy in the Toon World and/or the “franchise worlds” they are gratuitously animated into.
According to Bugs, the messaging being given to them was that they were “wasting their time” living in the toon world. What that means is unclear, leading to a very weird scene where the entire cast sans Bugs is implied to have left of their own free will and on some level were nondescriptly dissatisfied with life in their own world. There are so many things to be said about the IP shoving garbage that is the entire runtime of this movie, but this is the part that makes the least sense to me. I think they were going for “representation of the future thinks the Looney Tunes are outdated,” but that comes across only after careful deliberation and is barely there in the actual text of the movie.
The audience and the characters themselves are given nothing other than “serververse cool” as a reason for these characters to leave Bugs, and also no indication anywhere that there is something stopping them from coming back. There is no barrier to entry in these words but transport, which historically has been very easy in Looney Tunes and from how easy it was to bait Marvin and steal his ship, easily could have been done at any time. And then, all the other characters do throughout the serververse is play “recognize the IP dress up.”
There was no reason for Bugs to stay there alone going mad unless it was some sort of self-imposed exile because he failed his friends, or there was the aforementioned barrier to entry to and from Toon world (which doesn’t seem to exist). Addressing the former, what would be the reason for that? Bugs has done literally nothing. He has done nothing wrong. Nothing worth cutting him off. Nothing.  All he did was choose not to leave his home. The actual presented stakes of this situation are so bizarrely void of any meaning when there is no reason for them to be separated or get back together at all other than “Warner Brothers is making a new Space Jam movie,” and even then they don’t make any sense at all, and the emotional stakes the co-lead to this movie could have had are so contrived and nonsensical they had to introduce a life-or-death element one hour in because none of the other characters or the story itself are actually responding to the emotional journey the performance (given by the combination of the voice actor and the animators, I know Bugs Bunny isn’t really there) is trying to convey.
This movie is fucking awful and confused and there’s not enough thought put into the emotional journey of Bugs Bunny, and this is mostly just a thought dump as to why. I genuinely believe I thought more about the plot of this movie than the writers did, and I watched it for the first time literally 26 hours ago. At least Back in Action had the decency to only be an hour and a half long and has interesting character moments with Bugs and Daffy (who was done. So fucking dirty by Space Jam 2) despite having a lot of the same problems as this movie, weirdly enough.
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iwannawritelots · 2 years
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This is just a song for an aspect of Cinna (my MC)’s relationship with each of the babes. Obviously not too in depth but… hehe. Maybe I’ll do it more than once since I am self-shipping so hard… comfort… it’s difficult picking just one song for Barbatos and Simeon particularly lmao. ALSO if you’d want to do this too please tag me??? I love seeing this stuff shskdhd (my MC is polyamorous (demiromantic)
SPOILERS for season 3 in Dia’s section. I avoided explicit spoilers in Belphie and Simeon’s sections but Dia’s song only makes sense if the spoilers are said outright sorryyyy
Idk if this has been done before but like??? I like doing stuff with my MC… I blame my mutuals for making such good MC content (affectionate).
Lucifer💙
Monster - Adventure Time (feat. Olivia Olson & Half Shy)
This is definitely more from Lucifer’s perspective. In-game he definitely doesn’t like to be vulnerable, which is an issue between him and Cinna (a huge issue, frankly). He gets better with each season so I suppose this would be the aspect of him showing affection more clearly over time.
Mammon💛
Heart Attack - Demi Lovato
Definitely from Mammon’s perspective lmao. Mammon is a tsundere with MC in-game but has been described as basically a sex god in the past so he clearly only acts ridiculous when he likes someone (and has conflicting feelings) like he seems to in game. He wants to impress them, but kind of makes a fool of himself in the process quite often. Denying his feelings (whether because that’s just how he processes romantic feelings or because of fear of another Lilith-like event) is his go-to, though he is well aware he is in love. He wants Cinna to say something first, but they don’t fall in love nearly as fast as he does. Mammon’s frustration is real. (Sorry Mammon.)
Leviathan🧡
Malfunction - Steam Powered Giraffe
There’s literally no escaping anxiety for either of these two, but as Cinna is better learning to take care of themself, Levi is being taken into this as well (this goes for Barbatos and Asmodeus too, frankly, but this section isn’t about them). Cinna won’t let Levi get away with negative self-talk, and they expect him to call them out when they slip up as well. Accepting their own issues is key here, and Cinna is dragging Levi kicking and screaming if they have to at a certain point tbh.
Satan💚
Home - Cavetown
Both perspectives, I think. Satan and Cinna bond a lot after Cinna learns to adjust to his wrath, and Cinna confides in him about their mental illness/trauma, gender dysphoria, and feeling broken before anyone else. They both share conflicting feelings towards Lucifer, and have identity issues (for different reasons of course). Of course, they also share a love of literature and cats (and vengeance). They feel they can rely on each other, even if at first Cinna is a bit on edge with Satan. It’s a bit surprising (or perhaps not) that Asmodeus was the first to be romantically involved with Cinna.
Asmodeus💘
Boys Like You - Dodie
This is from both sides. Asmodeus definitely would believe Cinna is only interested because of his status of avatar of lust, and Cinna definitely would think Asmodeus is only interested because they’re an easy target (in the beginning of their relationship). They would be sexually involved first before Cinna ends up realizing they actually like Asmodeus romantically. It’s especially a slow burn romantically since sexual and romantic attraction aren’t necessarily related for either of them (plus it seems like Asmodeus isn’t even used to someone being genuinely interested in him).
Beelzebub❤️
The Jam Song - Steven Universe (feat. Zach Callison and Grace Rolek)
These two aren’t particularly close, but Beel becomes a safe space for Cinna nonetheless. They can hang out in company and Cinna might teach Beel cute little songs (like this one haha) once they’re comfortable enough.
Belphegor💜
Change Your Mind - Steven Universe (feat. Zach Callison)
Both sides…? Mostly Cinna considering lesson 16. They end up being unable to stand Belphegor no matter how hard they try, though.
Lord Diavolo❣️
Heather - Conan Gray
From Diavolo’s perspective. By season 3, Cinna doesn’t really have any romantic interest in him at all, so his confession is… rejected, unfortunately. Dia is constantly watching them be involved with others, even his butler, but they won’t give him that kind of love. Of course, Cinna wants to be his friend, so there’s that!
Barbatos🖤
Dasher - Gerard Way (feat. Lydia Night)
Both sides but mostly from Barbatos’ perspective. Wanting attention, wanting the love that Cinna seems to have, but unable to get himself to grasp it (at first). They definitely are slow burn altogether since Cinna gets super nervous about Barbatos, and Barbatos isn’t sure how Cinna feels. They both think about each other a lot until they end up actually addressing their feelings for each other, which ends up becoming an improvement for both of them.
Simeon🤍
Stiff Kittens - Blaqk Audio
This is kinda weird tbh…? It’s like a push and pull of both perspectives. Lesson 16 and lesson 38 (& 75) make them both change for better or worse, and as time goes on they feel different but intertwined with each other all the same. They become closer through their respective hurdles and have in some ways abandoned their expectations given by each other as well as those surrounding them. Their love remains despite it all.
Solomon🤎
Build a Little World with Me - Laura Shigihara
Both perspectives…? Probably more Solomon. They both end up closer because they’re humans, but also Cinna becoming Solomon’s apprentice. With the fact that Cinna is mortal (for now…), Solomon has to accept they are temporary in his life. He feels happier having someone in his life for genuine companionship, and Cinna loves his company. Solomon’s romantic feelings are on the back burner because of Cinna’s mortality (and apparent lack of romantic interest in him).
Mephistopheles💟
Under My Skin - Jukebox The Ghost
They probably really piss off each other at first, not gonna lie. His pride is somehow not worse than Lucifer’s but it’s a whole different kind of pride and it makes Cinna fucking apeshit. They get to know him better and eventually start to like him quite a bit, but Mephisto seems indifferent towards them at best.
Raphael💔
The Piano Duet - Danny Elfman
I really wanted to keep them all with lyrics but honestly I think this fits Raphael and Cinna well. Raphael slowly letting Cinna in, getting comfortable with them, and eventually they’re romantically involved (probably past season 4). Bonding over small things and admiring each other in small ways until it’s possibly something more.
Thirteen❤️‍🩹
She’s so Mean - Matchbox Twenty
I literally had to rely on the scraps of Thirteen they gave us in season four and my headcanons for this decision. She had the least amount of screentime of the new three ugh. Anyways, I feel like this fits Cinna and Thirteen! Thirteen is a bit sassy and always making traps and trying to kill Solomon. Cinna frankly just finds her interesting honestly. They might get involved at some point but in-game stuff isn’t helping a lot here.
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bogleech · 3 years
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yeah so Space Jam 2 wants us all to know that Wile E. Coyote was one of the War Boys hunting escaped slaves for Immortan Joe before he was recruited to play basketball mere seconds from killing himself in a spraypaint-induced high
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ramblingguy54 · 3 years
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Sonic & Tails R: A Love Letter To Miles Tails Prower’s Characterization
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     Warning: This will contain massive spoilers for the short radio play series of Sonic & Tails R. If you haven’t listened to the radio play yet on Youtube, I’d highly recommend any hardcore Sonic fan who hasn’t seen it check it out. It’s one Hell of a treat.
     For as far back as I can remember in my childhood, Tails’ story of trying to step outta Sonic’s shadow has been such a resonating one for myself. Even when I was a much younger kid playing my Dreamcast, during entries like Sonic Adventure 1 & 2, there was some idea lingering about why Tails just stood out more emotionally in his journey to grow beyond depending on Sonic all the time for help. Now here I am a young adult in my late twenties having such a deeper appreciation of this little two tailed genius kiddo because he’s got an important element that’s made him so beloved for good reason.
     In spite of his genius being a rival to that of Eggman’s high IQ and of course proving to surpass it plenty of times when scenarios boil down to being a high stakes battle, Miles Tails Prower beneath it all is still just like any one of us. We’re all trying to find our place in this world about what defines us for who we are as unique people. He wants to be more than just seen as someone who’s alongside Sonic The Hedgehog’s never say die attitude, but prove he’s plenty capable of standing on his own two feet to protect everything the kid holds dear to himself. Underdog stories, when they’re naturally executed very well, can reel me in so easily. They are very much my bread & butter trope I adore seeing.
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     To no one’s surprise, the two Sonic Adventure’s iterations portrayal of Tails’ characterization are hands down some of my favorite writing for the two tailed fox, regarding what the 3D era has done toward him, development wise. It gave him more of an existential struggle to endure like, “What happens when Sonic isn’t around to help stop Eggman? What if I’m not strong enough to accomplish what he can?”, making Tails plight to be seen as an equal all the more endearing when stopping Eggman in his climatic battle against the Egg Walker in Station Square. This here is a great use of a timeless lesson you can apply in life that if you set you heart and mind on anything, there isn’t a thing you can’t accomplish on your own, which is why many fell in love with Sonic Adventure 1 & 2′s writing for Miles Tails Prower’s journey of independence.
     As someone who comes from a large family tree of relatives, I feel the weight of my existence on my shoulders at a number of points more than I’d care to count, admittedly. Seeing Tails struggle with his sense of purpose, in contrast to observing how much Sonic has accomplished with his carefree, yet deeply compassionate attitude, means the world to me in watching another trying to comprehend their value as a whole on how much they matter, overall. This is a big part of why my fondness for SA1 & 2′s quality has never wavered over these years, besides still obviously enjoying most of their game play mechanics. People can try to debate to their heart’s content on whether the Adventure games still hold up in their own eyes, but I’ll always respect them for how they tried to develop certain characters, such as Tails, Gamma, and Shadow The Hedgehog notably, to attempt expanding upon their characters, as well as world building.
     I won’t bother going into a rant about how Sonic’s recent 3D games have butchered Tails’ personality & relatable nature, due to the current writers in charge of handling the cast of characters. More or less, I greatly empathize toward the notion many have already stated about Tails being so cowardly and God forbid, looking at Lost World, downright severely mean spirited. Rather, I’m obviously writing this lengthy post to breakdown why Sonic & Tails R succeeds, where these certain 3D games have greatly faltered in exploring Tails’ emotional dilemmas as an insecure, yet still having the courage to prove himself, talented boy full of hidden potential he doesn’t quite realize, until his back is against the wall in life threatening situations.
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“That day, I realized I couldn’t depend on you forever. Not that I can’t depend on you, but like, “What happens when Sonic isn’t here?”, you know?”
     Sonic & Tails R further delves into this fundamental rule of what has defined Tails in Sonic Adventure 1 & 2′s stories of events where Sonic wasn’t there to aid his best bud in taking down Eggman’s evil efforts for global domination, most importantly his fear of defending the Earth without his role model. Besides what I already stated in SA1′s events in Station where he stopped the Egg Walker, as well as the missile Eggman launched from detonating before their climatic battle, Tails watched Sonic blow up in ARK’s capsule presuming him to be dead after Sonic imparted how much faith he has in the kid’s abilities to be truly strong in the face of any foe. Sonic & Tails R manages to use fan service in a way that doesn’t feel like “pandering” for the sake of it, using this past canon material to do more of an in-depth study about Miles’ anxieties of existing without Sonic.
     Wouldn’t put it past them if EmuEmi & crew were using SA2′s Sonic death fake out scene in that space capsule to further add trauma to Tails’ psychological attachment to Sonic, as well as his insecurities of depending on him too much, to boot. While it’s never obviously outright stated in their radio play, I definitely believe they were factoring this element into adding dramatic exploration for why Tails is so self-conscious about the worst case scenario of permanently losing Sonic. Watching Sonic supposedly die put Tails into a deeper state of self-reflection, so I very much enjoyed how they went using these past events to create a thorough exploration about him learning just as it’s important to realize you need to stand up for yourself without using someone else as a crutch all the time, it’s doubly important to remember there’s nothing wrong about asking someone for help when you’re about to be down and out with little options left.
     Sonic & Tails R beautifully builds upon the foundation these two games’ stories left behind years ago, creating new damn great material to explore with the most iconic characters of this cast, Sonic & Tails brotherly dynamic. I’ve been praising Sonic & Tails R out the wazoo for how well it captured Tails underdog story of overcoming death defying odds, but it managed to remind me how simply adorable and outright wonderfully endearing their brotherly chemistry is as a whole. This is a big friendly reminder Sonic isn’t all about being cocky wise cracking character making meta jokes left and right, but he can be plenty capable of showing serious compassion to anyone he values as an ally and friend. This is no greater evident, than with him verbally lifting Tails up in his time of need when he’s self-depreciating his own significance. It can be seen in Episodes 2, 4, and 7 giving Tails motivational pieces of advice.
    Episode 2 In Adabat’s Cavern
-Sonic: Wasn’t it your radar that helped us find these Emerald shards in the first place? How could you be slowing us down when you’ve gotten us this far?
-Tails: But, I...
-Sonic: I could never make something like that. You’re the smartest person I know, Tails. One way or another, we’ll figure this out, count on it.
         Episode 4 In Holoska After Helping Silver Save The Chao
-Sonic: So, what was that back there? At the cave, in Adabat? -Tails: What do you mean? -Sonic: Frozen stiff. Confidence shot. It’s not like you. It was more than feeling like you were “slowing us down”, right?
        Episode 7 Inside The Egg Carrier 3
-Sonic: Let’s split up! I’ll distract them and you can go after the energy source. -Tails: You’re gonna take them on all by yourself!? Let me help, Sonic! -Sonic: No time for this, Tails. Stop overthinking and just go! If I can get their attention, I’ll take the heat off of you and that room you’re going to probably won’t have any security. Take this emerald and I’ll take the other one we have. It’ll lead me right to you after I beat these guys. -Tails: O-Okay... -Sonic: Hold on, Tails! Listen to me. Don’t stop moving and be careful. I’ll be fine and so will you!
     Sonic & Tails R remembers the most crucial detail of their important relationship. One isn’t better than the other and needing to always rely upon that notion for helping one outta a jam, but instead showcases how they’re equals as a team/bros. Sonic may be super fast and strong, however Tails has his intelligence to analyze situations in a different angle Sonic wouldn’t necessarily consider, per say. Which isn’t to say Tails couldn’t put up a fight either, as we’ve seen in SA1 & SA2′s stories where he faced Eggman one on one with no outside help to best him at his own game of wits & strength.
     We get see the apex of this idea through Tails facing Eggman in his super improved mecha walker. Although Tails may get thrown for a loop here at first by Eggman, it’s his villainous speech about winners and losers in their world that ironically does the exact opposite of what he intended. Eggman wanted to crush Tails’ sense of self worth before finishing him off, but all it did was reignite the very lesson Sonic told him earlier before running to distract Eggman’s robotic minions. That said lesson of he’s more than capable of facing dangerous threats
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-Eggman: Poor boy. We all have to learn this lesson, sooner or later. In every game there’s no one you can depend on. You’re all alone and you’re either a winner, or a loser. And as you know, loser’s lose all of their lives. Say goodbye, fox!
-Tails: You’re wrong! I can depend Sonic! I won’t let him down! I can’t because...Because he’s depending on me! And because of that I won’t lose to you!
     This radio play strikes a good balance in utilizing the grey moral area about depending on someone vs it being an unhealthy display of attachment derived from serious insecurity. Word’s can’t begin to describe how much I loved this moment to pieces because it’s oh so important for writing Tails’ characterization. If you’re going to tackle him being super self conscious about his reliance on Sonic, then you gotta remember why they are so close to one another to begin with. Sonic & Tails have an unbreakable connection, considering they’ve brought out their best qualities in themselves from being together as individuals. For Sonic, it’s his older brother compassion to Tails to bring him outta feeling melancholy. For Tails, the kid finally understands there isn’t anything wrong with depending on Sonic when he needs it most.
     After all, that’s what a real healthy friendship is all about. Whether you’re giving someone a dose of tough love, or simply a piece of motivational advice, it defines how much you truly care about someone, period. Sonic & Tails have this very same power from their bond, which is why new emeralds form from their compassionate friendship that hasn’t been shaken after all the years they’ve been together. Another detail worth noting is it adds to the lore in an impactful manner when Tikal expresses in Episode 8 about positive connections and thoughts from users of the Chaos Emeralds having a strong will & heart. Using the ideas they had for encapsulating Sonic & Tails’ dynamic to create new emeralds from their love for each other as brothers adds an emotional weight.
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“So, Sonic’s not the only one who harness the power of the Chaos Emeralds? I can too!?”
“Yes, you have a strong heart! There is a power waiting to be unlocked within you, as well.”
          I’d always daydreamed about in my childhood seeing Super Sonic & Tails take down a threatening villain, whether it was Eggman or different powerful creature such as Chaos or the Biolizard. You can imagine how fucking giddy I was beyond belief to see this artwork of Episode 9′s cover for the radio play. Tails not only got to have another one on one with Eggman, but a team up with Super Sonic in his own respective Super form? Sign me the Hell up! Talk about an all you eat buffet of good writing for Tails’ journey reaching its climax. Getting to hear this play out, alongside the amazing song of Fly With Me, made it authentically feel like something straight outta if there were an installment of Sonic Adventure 3 being brought into reality, which certainly feels like it now.
     Episode 9 has so much awesome stuff with Sonic & Tails working together in their super forms. Particularly, my favorite scene is at the beginning when Sonic teaches Tails how to navigate his newly acquired speed in his respective Super form. My heart melted hearing Sonic help Tails through it all, while he was overjoyed about how fun this new form is for himself. Wholesome Sonic & Tails content is the perfect daily serotonin for me, easily. It’s an awesome fun fact to know they used a scrapped boss from Tails Tornado segment in SA1 for Eggman’s flying dragon three headed robot in their big final battle, once again using old canon material in a very effective manner to boost the quality of their fan made story.
     It’s been a real thrill to hear Mike Pollock play a straight forward serious Eggman making my day in more ways than one, considering that’s another thing I’ve been yearning for desperately besides Tails being a competent character again. His performance in Episode 9 when Eggman gave that speech about how long he’s been at odds with Sonic & Tails stubborn will power was simply excellent. The moment he told his mechanical dragon to crush them I got serious chills. That’s the Eggman I remember and grew up with. He could be a hammy villain sure, but Eggman wasn’t a doormat that could be swiftly beaten. Robotnik can be considered a serious threat in his own right and this radio play nailed it down to the very letter with how much he predicted their actions.
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“Sonic, all I ever wanted to do was be like you. You’re not scared of anyone or anything. I could never be like that. At least, so I thought. I grew from that, but then I got so caught up in trying to prove it that thought it wasn’t okay to depend upon anyone, especially you. I just didn’t want to be that scared little kid in Station Square anymore, but now I understand. It’s okay to depend on your friends. It all means is that we’re stronger together, so the next time Eggman comes back and wants to start any trouble with you, or any of my friends. Emeralds or no emeralds, he’s gonna have to get past me and he won’t!”
Sonic By Episode 1′s End: Aww, yeah! Adventure, here we come!
Tails By Episode 10′s End: Aww, yeah! Adventure, here I come!
Turn your thoughts into power. Be all that you can be.
     The ending legit got me choked up because what of they decided to do for wrapping up Tails journey in a poetic fashion. Having Tails go off on his own separate journey to grow more independence pulled on my heart strings perfectly. Very much so, as I’m transitioning slowly, but surely, into gaining more freedom to go out into the outside world in my own life. Concluding the story, by Sonic & Tails holding onto the two Emeralds their bond had formed from positive energy, due to their powerful friendship, was so heartwarming. This is how you write an overview of what makes Sonic & Tails chemistry work so well as it does.
     Sonic & Tails R’s ending represents while some things never change, like Sonic and Tails bond for each other, it also shows there’s very much a necessity for people to grow, hence Tails’ whole solo journey in the epilogue. People can’t stay in the same place forever and will need go about finding their own path, even if it means saying “goodbye” periodically for a notable amount of time.
     It’s for these reasons I’ve listed in great explanation above throughout this detailed post cement Sonic & Tails R high on my list of favorite Sonic fan projects. They captured the magic of what made the Adventure games so beloved. Gonna be looking back on this passion project for many years to come. Everyone involved in this year long effort of a project dating all the way back Summer of 2020 ought to be immensely proud for how much their hard efforts paid off in the long run.
Thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts here! 
Hope you enjoyed. 
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littlehollyleaf · 3 years
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So talking of finales penned by spn writers.
One of my fav comics the last few years has been Spider-Man/Deadpool, written by our very own Robbie Thompson.
Obviously, Deadpool is a character I was always gonna be fond of, since his fourth-wall breaking power / chatacter trait makes him all about the meta, and metafiction is My Jam.
Spider-Man/Deadpool has the additional fun of being about Wade and Peter's relationship specifically, which is just fun and adorable any which way, but the series also makes constant nods to the idea of them as a romantic couple (the title IS a LITERAL REFERENCE to slash fic/shipping). Never in a baity way either. The writing celebrates the idea of Spider-Man/Deadpool without ever teasing the idea it might actually happen. It's mostly Wade explicitly referencing them as a slash pairing in his various fourth-wall breaking speeches, while in the 'reality' of the universe the writing is pretty clear on the fact Peter only thinks of Wade platonically (or occasionally antagonistically :p), while Wade genuinely has an explicit romantic crush, but overall just simply respects and cares for Spider-Man as a person and primarily wants to be and have him as a friend (tho there's absolutely, deliberate, space left in the writing to imagine/fanfic a mutual romance between if you want).
(ASIDE: PETER PARKER IS NOT A KID IN THIS CURRENT VERSION OF MARVEL CANON HE IS 100% AN OF AGE ADULT, like he is in the Spiderverse film - in case anyone was freaking out)
So yeah, that's all fun and sweet and completely catering to my interests.
One of the big, big things about the characters and their relationship, though, is the fact that WADE DOES NOT KNOW SPIDER-MAN'S IDENTITY. And this quickly became one of, if not THE, things at the heart of their evolving friendship/relationship. The closer they get, the more and more you WANT Wade to find out or, better, for Peter to TELL HIM. Because you want them to reach that place of love and trust where they each know intimate things about each other, where Peter cares about and knows he can trust Wade enough to share that vulnerable truth about himself.
So, Peter telling Wade his secret identity - that's, basically, the ship/relationship endgame everyone is rooting for.
SO.
In the *cries* final storyline of the series, this whole epic Thing happens, that I won't explain cos it'll take too long. But basically, the world appears to be ending and in that context of dire and angsty straits - Peter reveals his identity to Wade! *insert Deadpool movie shock gif*
Now closer than ever, they team up with a rag tag collection of other characters to take on the Big Bad and, long story short, they discover the whole epic end of the world Thing has been a fake reality created by the real villain of the piece -
THE WRITER, aka Robbie himself!
Due a series of implausible comic book events they are able to confront and defeat him and he offers this in his defence -
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and I just -
<3
aw Robbie
your supervillain origin story was... WANTING FICTIONAL CHARACTERS AND THEIR RELATIONSHIPS TO GROW?
(#relatable)
When I first read this (which was, oh, back near the very beginning of spn S15) I thought
a) amusing that an ex-spn writer is, like spn itself, writing a meta story in which the writer is the villain
b) it's funny how spn's villain writer and Robbie's villain writer both harm/manipulate their characters for the exact opposite reasons - Chuck wants to prevent the characters from developing, comic!Robbie wants to force them TO develop
(and c) I wonder if this lament over characters not being allowed to grow, and the fact that wanting to change that associates Robbie with villainy, in any way connects to... other writing jobs he may have had... before the comic...)
The tragedy, tho, is that after his defeat, as Spider-Man and Deadpool are locking comic!Robbie away, he tells them his capture doesn't matter because in the end HE WON, because Wade now knows Spider-Man's identity!!
To which we end with this -
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The growth Robbie wanted was denied!
*sad face*
(I forget the in-universe explanation, if there was an explicit one - either defeating comic!Robbie and his fake world caused all memory/experience if that world to be lost/destroyed... or there was genuinely no real explanation and that in itself was a meta nod to how comic book narrative is constantly dropping/discarding/ignoring/retconning plot points in order to maintain the wider status quo of the comic universe narrative)
AND YET - while the biggest growth of learning Peter's identity was denied (presumably because, as noted above, wider comic book canon requires/insists both characters and their relationship remain in a specific, static, status quo - so the industry can keep churning out multiple comics with them without necessarily having to bother with the extra time/hassel of researching specifics of continuity - because, money), as Peter and Wade's further discussion points out, SOME development HAS happened at least. Wade has grown more moral/heroic in how he doesn't immediately kill his enemies. And Peter has come to care deeply enough about Wade to be proud of him for this and tell him so. AND they walk away together side by side, their friendship cemented.
So bottom line - the story ends. And it's not in the BEST way. It denies the readers and the characters (and the writer!) the fulfilment of that key endgame plot point.
And YET.
It manages to still be a funny, heartwarming and ultimately SATISFYING end. One that, tongue in cheek, lampshades the development the rest of the story has, in many ways, been building up to and, using metafictional tricks, tells readers in a way that is funny, entertaining and also feels somewhat apologetic, that it simply wasn't a plot the creatives involved were able to give. But offers SOME growth at least, and leaves things open enough for readers to imagine the characters are poised for more in the near future (...although due to the nature of comics that may well have been jossed by other comic book runs at this point - I haven't read any that include the characters since this title ended).
WHY am I making a longass post about this you ask?
Well
a) because the comic is great and I think more people should read it, consider this a recommend (tho sorry for spoilers!)
b) ...just ...wanted to big up Robbie Thompson for a bit. A++ Robbie, way to land an ending, both in fiction and meta, kudos to you, nice to be reminded that it can be done!
(also in case by some miracle anyone at Marvel is reading this - I said the ending was satisfying, but that doesn't mean I WOULDN'T SPEND GOOD MONEY ON A REVIVAL OF THIS TITLE IN A HEARTBEAT! just because I'm ok with the last comic being the end doesn't mean I don't WANT MORE WITH A BURNING PASSION why must you cancel all my favs?? ...*coughs* so, yes, thank you any Marvel execs for your time...)
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carewyncromwell · 3 years
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Now that the Statue Curse has been broken, how's Olivia doing? Did she get freed? How was her reunion with Jacob and Duncan? What's the first thing she's gonna do after being unstonified? Is she gonna help take down R or is she sworn off Vaults because of her trauma? What's her reaction to finding out Duncan died and Jacob was trapped? Since she's still like 15, does this affect the way she and Jacob and Duncan interact because they're both older? How does she like Carey and co?
Heh, well, I admit, I don’t love how Jam City’s written everything to do with the Sunken Vault, so I feel like I’d probably rewrite a lot of it, depending on how year 6 ends. At this rate, I’m just tempted to make the Good!Rakepick AU my canon and be done with it. If I could just finish it already... >>;
To answer your questions in the event of the Statue Curse being broken and Olivia being freed, though...one thing I will say is that I’d want the Statue Curse being broken to basically be at the end of the story. If we have to deal with the remnants of R, fine, but I’d want the Cursed Vaults and their “treasure” to be completely dealt with. Not going into spoilers about how I want the Cetus to be defeated in that AU (for those of you who are still waiting for the finale -- I’m so sorrryyyyyyy DX), this is how I’d see things --
Upon waking up, Olivia was definitely very shaken when she first saw Jacob again, looking a good four years older than she’d last seen him. Duncan being a ghost was even more of a shock, but finding out exactly how much time had really passed was the most devastating. Olivia, who Duncan and Jacob had always known as this very unassuming, level-headed person, burst full-on into tears, screaming in grief and horror, and had trouble letting anyone get near her. Like Jacob and Duncan, her tragic fate played off of her own worst fear -- Jacob’s fear of tight spaces and being unable to move was reflected in being trapped in a Portrait, Duncan’s fear of being insignificant was reflected in dying young before he’d really accomplished anything, and Olivia’s fear of being irrelevant was reflected in her being “left behind” by all of her classmates and even her own younger siblings, who’d all outgrown her. Jacob, who’s never been as empathetic and nurturing as his sister Carewyn, had no idea how to comfort Olivia, and so all he could do was grab her and forcefully squeeze her in his shaking arms until she stopped crying, apologizing over and over through his own flood of tears. Duncan, since he couldn’t touch Olivia that well at all, merely hovered over the two, resting his cold, translucent hands just over their heads. 
Because of the defeat of R and Duncan both playing a role in ending the threat of the Cursed Vaults once and for all and in having people who would mourn him when he was gone (Jacob, Olivia, and Carewyn), Duncan was finally able to pass on and rest in peace. Jacob burst into tears, devastated at the thought of losing Duncan all over again, and his boy best friend used all of the focus he could to become just corporeal enough to bring a hand up to Jacob’s face and kiss him on the lips before disappearing. With a bittersweet smirk, he instructed Olivia, Jacob, and Carewyn to “take their dear sweet time in joining him, or else!” Carewyn and Olivia hugged the sobbing, shaking Jacob for almost a half-hour after Duncan vanished, both crying silently themselves. 
Olivia’s return to her family was rocky. Her parents, who had never stopped grieving her absence, were just grateful to have her back, but Olivia’s younger siblings -- now all significantly older than her and in some cases even having started families of their own -- couldn’t help but resent her for her risky behavior with the Vaults having put their family through so much heartache and trouble. Plus, since they were Muggles and she was the only magical child in the family, there’d already been a tension point of her being the “special” sibling in contrast to the others, and her return only brought that back in full-force. Olivia’s family relationship never really recovered, even if her parents still clearly loved her, and once Olivia came of age, she moved out and sort of fell out of touch with her siblings all together. 
After going through a lot of therapy over the summer, Olivia returns to Hogwarts for her sixth year, one year under Jacob’s sister Carewyn, who of course is in her seventh year and Hogwarts’s new Head Girl. She ends up making good friends with Carewyn’s Ravenclaw friends Badeea Ali and Talbott Winger, as well as fellow Prefect and family black sheep Percy Weasley. Andre also helps poor Olivia a bit with her outdated 70′s fashion sense, because GIRL, we’ve started a new decade, get with the times. Olivia also stays in constant written contact with Jacob, who remains her best friend for the rest of their lives. Fortunately, even if she is still 16 and Jacob’s now 20, Olivia’s always been rather emotionally mature for her age and Jacob’s always been rather immature for his, so they’re still relatively like peers despite the age difference (not unlike how Carewyn and Bill are, actually!), and as the years go on, that age gap isn’t as significant. Olivia fortunately doesn’t have to deal with the Vaults anymore, and she most certainly doesn’t want to deal with either them or R ever again. Her trauma of being locked in the Statue Vault for so long makes it so she has just as little interest in cursebreaking for the rest of her life as Carewyn has, and even less interest in jumping into danger or fighting Dark wizards. Olivia also becomes rather fond of Carewyn, seeing her like a little sister even though Carey’s techically now a year older than her -- Carewyn herself, seeing a lot of similarities between Olivia and her mother Lane, grows to care for Olivia quite a bit too and keeps correspondence with her post-Hogwarts.
Olivia starts her seventh year the year Harry Potter starts his first, after having been chosen as Head Girl. She was one of the first students who sensed there was something “off” about the newly returned Professor Quirrell and discussed it with Snape, who she could tell was also suspicious, and Dumbledore, who rather predictably gave a lukewarm reaction to her concerns despite his own suspicions. When Hermione first came back up from the third floor corridor with the injured Ron to get help, she actually ran into Olivia first, who had taken on night patrol as Head Girl upon catching wind that Dumbledore had left Hogwarts on business. (Hey, after dealing with the Cursed Vaults and R, this girl had more than enough reason to think something bad might happen the instant Dumbledore wasn’t around.) Olivia rushed Hermione and Ron to the Hospital Wing while Hermione anxiously told her everything, only for the two to run into Dumbledore, who’d just returned to the school. Hermione tried to babble everything to Dumbledore too, including her misguided thought that Snape was behind it all, but Olivia had quickly put two-and-two together that it was Quirrell instead and calmly but firmly talked over Hermione, telling Dumbledore very shortly that “Potter has gone off alone to protect the Stone” so that the Headmaster could quickly rush to Harry’s aid. Olivia then brought Ron to the Hospital Wing and escorted Hermione back up to Gryffindor Tower, counseling the poor, terrified girl as best she could on their way back upstairs. Dumbledore later followed up with Hermione and Olivia after Harry was safe, and Olivia sent a letter along to Carewyn about the incident, since she knew Carewyn’s best friend was Ron’s eldest brother.
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stillness-in-green · 4 years
Text
Shigaraki Birthday Week, Day 7: free day
Learning control, and the lack of it.  (Spoiler-free except for Shigaraki’s real name.)  
Content Warning: No death or violence, but does contain calculated child neglect and All For One being supportive about exactly the kinds of things you’d expect him to be supportive about.  
———–      ———–      ———–      ———–
Sensei takes the gloves away in stages.  
“Let’s try for an hour today,” he says as he gently pulls the bulky fabric off of Tenko’s hands.  “I’ve brought you some toys to practice with.”
Tenko reflexively curls his fingers into fists and jams them up under his armpits when he feels the air pricking at his bared skin.  Sensei chuckles, running one hand through his hair—it’s going pale now, black fading to white, like the longer he stays with Sensei the more he starts to look like him, a lizard changing its skin to take the color of its surroundings.  
“You may be a bit old for these, but they’re a good size for your hands right now.”  Setting the gloves to the side, Sensei next holds up a pail and tips it out onto the floor. Brightly colored blocks tumble into a loose pile, big clunky wooden things.  “Come.  We’ll try and build something.”  
Tenko ends up decaying as many of the blocks as he’s able to stack on each other, his itch getting worse every time, until, weeping in frustration, he kicks over the rudimentary tower and destroys every block left within reach.  
Sensei smiles through the whole thing.  
———–      
“Let’s try to do lunch with no gloves today.  I brought finger food!”
It’s all Western-style things.  Chicken nuggets are easy; so are french fries.  The hamburger is messy, but it’s enough layers that, to his surprise, it doesn’t decay even when he accidentally touches it with all five fingers.  As long as he keeps his thumb on the bottom bun and his fingers on the top, the whole thing stays together.  Sensei hums thoughtfully at the discovery.  
Tenko manages to keep his cup intact until almost the end, but the hamburger made him lazy, and they end up with soda all over the table.  
———–      
The first time Sensei has him try to sleep through the night with no gloves, he tries everything he can think of when he gets into bed.  He curls his hands into fists, tucks them under his nightshirt, curls into as tight a ball under the blankets as he can.  
He wakes up shivering—nightshirt gone, pillow gone, blankets gone.  The bed is full of ash, and then throw-up, and Sensei finds him in the morning curled up in one corner of the room, wide awake and too tired to even tremble.  
He doesn’t get new bed things until the end of the week, and he’s starting to figure out the pattern.
———–  
The blocks turn into action figures; the finger food gives way to chopstick lessons; the blankets—well, Tomura just has to figure out about the blankets.  He has nightmares, is the problem, and he tosses and turns in his sleep so much that it doesn’t matter what position he arranges himself in to start, somehow he always wakes up with less than he went to bed with.  
Sensei tells him about lucid dreaming and brings him a journal.  He writes about the bloody fragments of his dreams, and the longer he does it, the more he can remember of them, random strangers reaching out to him, buildings collapsing, animal sounds hounding him in dark alleys.  
He’s standing in the middle of a supermarket, lights so bright he can’t see anyone above the waist. He spots Sensei’s shoes, polished black with short, neat laces, and follows them through the store, shading his eyes.  After walking for a long time, turning down aisles and dodging shopping carts and the odd large dog, one of Sensei’s hands touches his back, the other gesturing him forward.  He looks up and finds himself standing in front of a mirror.  A scared little boy, hands still tucked at his sides, looks back at him.  
“Go on,” Sensei urges. “Pick one.”  
There’s a whole row of mirrors, he realizes, and he takes a few faltering steps, looking into them like windows.  His reflections all look the same to him, though.
The realization comes quiet, simple words that arrive in his mind like snowflakes falling on the sidewalk and melting.  
I’m dreaming.  
The boys in the mirrors all swing around to look at him, but it’s too late; he wakes up with his hands still tucked at his sides, his breathing fallen still, a cold nausea sitting in his stomach.  
Lucid dreaming works, but he doesn’t like remembering his dreams—and sometimes even knowing they are dreams, he doesn’t wake up, and the dreams turn ugly, violent and full of pain as he curls in on himself, thinking, Don’t reach out, don’t reach out, don’t reach out.  It’s easier to just stay awake until he passes out.  
Sensei says, “You’re your own master, Tomura, or you will be one day.  It’s your choice to make.”  
He keeps Tomura’s dream journal, though.
———–      
Changing clothes is a pain, especially anything with buttons.  He gravitates to simple black pullovers because they’re easier to get into and stains don’t show up.  Wearing the same black shirt for days leaves him grimy and annoyed, but less grimy and annoyed than wearing a white shirt with a food stain on it or decaying a fresh shirt when he tries to pull it over his head.  
He decays the clothes he doesn’t like.  Sensei will buy him more.  Eventually.
———–      
“There’s going to be a typhoon coming in tomorrow,” Sensei announces casually, setting a huge stack of books and magazines down on the table.  “It won’t be safe to go outside for a few days, so I’ve brought you some reading material.”
It’s a lot of stuff—a big dictionary, thin school workbooks, storybooks, manga, hardcover textbooks, glossy news magazines.
“Are you going to stay?” Tomura asks, fitfully pushing the gifts around the table.
“Why, are you afraid of thunder?”  Sensei laughs at the look Tomura gives him and sits down on the couch.  “No, I have some things to take care of.  I’ll come back if they put out an evacuation order.”
“What’s that mean?”
“Evacuation means to remove all people from an area.  Like if there’s a villain attack.”
Tomura absorbs that as he pulls a book out of the pile and climbs up onto the couch with it.  
“Science, today?” Sensei shifts around, letting Tomura squirm over into his lap.  “When I was your age, I liked the comic books.”
“I don’t like them,” Tomura says bluntly.  “The heroes always win.”  
Sensei chuckles, propping one arm up on the back of the couch and resting his cheek in his hand. “I’ll see if I can find you some stories for older people, then.  Or you could start reading history books—in history, strong people win.”  
Tomura makes a sound of vague agreement, flipping the science book open.  It’s got a lot of pictures and big colorful text, but it’s about space and planets, things that feel so big he doesn’t have to worry about them one way or the other.  Sensei reads over his shoulder, still smiling.  
“…Do people have to evacuate for you?” Tomura asks eventually.  
“I try not to be so showy, usually,” Sensei answers without hesitation.  “But it’s happened before.”
Tomura curls up a little tighter.  “…Will they have to evacuate for me?”
“Would that bother you?”
Tomura shakes his head. He squeezes his lips together tight; the old scar there throbs and he reaches up to rub at it with the back of his hand.  He thinks about it, walking into a town and all the people in it running out the other side, police lights flashing and heroes waving them along.  An empty city left behind, all his to explore and he can go anywhere he wants, with no one to shove him around and yell, or walk towards him and then back away as soon as they get too close. 
“No,” he says at last. “I wish they’d do it now.”  
Sensei hums fondly in his throat, ruffling Tomura’s hair.  
“Keep working at it, Tomura, and one day they will.”
———–      ———–      ———–      ———–
I understand the impulse to soften Shigaraki’s awful backstory via paternal Kurogiri as much as possible, but it is categorically not an impulse I share.  I desperately want canon-compliant fic about AFO and Tomura in their earliest days together (given the timeframes involved and what we’ve seen on the page, I’m pretty certain it’s at least a year before Kurogiri comes into Tomura’s life, and it could be much more than that).  I can never find much, though, so I figured for free day I’d be the change I want to see in the world and write it myself.  
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septemberlikestea · 4 years
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Hi! Ok so when I played hk I interpreted Brumm going to banish the troupe as being traitor. Could you explain why it's not? I'm legit curious, not being sarcastic or anything, because I see both takes but the "he is obviously not a traitor yall dumb" take NEVER has an explanation so I'm not sure what I'm missing? I read the dialogue and everything, all I can see is that he went behind their back to banish them because he didnt want to continue the ritual. I want to understand why that's wrong?
thank you anon for being very nice and also for giving me a real reason to finally whip out all my troupe lore juice. it is time. i will also try to use Proper English. just this once. 
obvious hollow knight (specifically the grimm troupe) spoilers!!
Brumm doesn’t fit the definition of a traitor. Partially, sure, it works. He does try to sabotage the ‘endless song’, as he puts it, very poetically. He does want to let Grimm and Grimmchild be free and not have to die (or die eventually) for the Heart, which seems to want to sustain itself with sacrifices, much like the Pale King and the Radiance did/do. He also doesn’t seem entirely against the Troupe, since he doesn’t express any dislike for any members, so he is not turning his back on them.
“Traitors betray the trust of those who have faith in them or believe their promises.”
Brumm says that Grimm’s ‘scarlet eyes’ (whether Grimm can consciously monitor the troupe members or if the ‘eyes’ are not actually Grimm’s, but the Nightmare Heart’s) cannot see him in Deepnest. To reach Deepnest, he had to go through half of the whole kingdom, which Grimm must’ve been aware of. That was Grimm’s first chance to catch him in the middle of doing things he’s not supposed to. Collecting flames for the child seems to be something only the Grimmkin Novices, Masters and Nightmares have to do, and Brumm is not one of them for many obvious reasons.
Then, Brumm goes ahead and stands near the Nightmare Lantern. You know, the thing used to call the Troupe in the first place?? He just stands there??? It’s a place Grimm has absolutely no excuse to be unaware. What does Grimm do? Nothing. He allows Brumm to stand there for an indefinite time, consdiering you can just take the flame Brumm gives you and never meet up with him in the Howling Cliffs. 
Brumm must also be aware that Grimm knows he’s there, judging by how he knows that Grimm can’t see him in the Distant Village. His thoughts are directed at him. He’s not actually going behind anyone’s back, he’s practically looking Grimm in his eyes and waiting for someone to help him stop the Ritual. 
I don’t think there’s a time limit for how long you can stand in the room with the Lantern while Brumm is keeping his staff jammed in it. So, in theory, you can make him stand there, tinkering with the Lantern, forever. Grimm won’t do anything. (if you can’t do that, then? that’s interesting and i would like to hear more about that?)
Another point, Brumm has two very similar, very interesting lines of dialogue:
1. “Perhaps together we can banish that livid flame and let this dead Kingdom rest in peace.” This implies that the Troupe aids dying kingdoms and cleanses the lands of dead kingdoms to make space for new ones to grow. This also tells us a detail about Brumm’s character and shows that he is probably aware of how many times Hallownest has been ‘revived’ (by sealing the Hollow Knight and by the Radiance taking over corpses).
2. “It is painful to defy the Master, but our harvest… it profanes this dark, quiet Kingdom.”
While Brumm doesn’t seem to have any trouble with physically doing any Banishment-related actions, like jamming his staff into the brazier, this might be implying he is emotionally attached to Grimm and understands that Grimm has his reasons for encouraging the Knight to complete the Ritual. The part about how it ‘profanes’ is very interesting to me, because not only does it tie in with his unwillingness for trying to keep Hallownest standing for the third (?) time but it also makes me think about a very horrible and bad similarity between the sacrifices the Troupe makes for the Heart (vessels, the troupe masters), the sacrifices the Pale King made to keep his kingdom (vessels, his children) and the victims of the Radiance (vessels, husks of dead bugs filled with her light). The Ritual adds another death to Hallownest’s disgustingly high number of them, and it also involves a Higher Being. That’s messed up. That’s just fucked up.
Now, about Nymm. He only loses his memories, which he might have lost because he’s no longer linked to the Nightmare Heart, or because Grimm took them. Wouldn’t Grimm want to punish betrayal and make Nymm remember and regret what he’s done and put him in danger due to how risky it is to regret anything in Hallownest, with how close the Void is? Brumm is implied to have been on good terms with the Troupe, the Grimmchild interacts with him in their own weird flying follwing baby way. Wouldn’t being stranded in a dead kingdom without the people he knew and remembered and cared about be a horrible punishment? It would make him vulnerable to the infection for sure. Sly and Bretta were manipulated by the Radiance, and Nymm would be easy to trick into going down to Hallownest if he remembered and wanted to go back to the Troupe. 
TL;DR: 1. serious answer: brumm, at most, goes behind the troupe’s backs to involve the knight, their summoner, in stopping the sacrifice of grimm. everything else grimm is most likely aware of and does nothing about.
2. joke answer: god just. hes not trying to kill the king like xero did and hes not killing his child and accepting a violent and dangerous source of power like traitor lord did. hes trying to help. 
3. somewhat serious but also funny answer: you wouldnt call someone going ‘hey this is kind of super fucking bad to do this how about we discuss it further by doing this thing that gives us some time’ a traitor, would you?
one day i will fucking SNAP and make an hour long video mossbag style that is JUST about brumm. i have so many thoughts.
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bubonickitten · 4 years
Text
TMA fic: Reciprocity
Summary: Sometimes, listening to the quiet just doesn't work. Jon and Daisy drown out the noise with tea, board games, and some heart-to-heart conversation.
Notes: Writing this one put me in the mood for more Jon & Daisy friendship, so I decided to write a fic to expand on this silly headcanon I had.
Cross-posted to AO3 here.
CW: brief descriptions of claustrophobia; panic attacks; discussions of canon-typical trauma; brief psychological self-harm (i.e. punishing oneself by purposely exposing oneself to a triggering situation). Spoilers up to & including MAG 146.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The storage room is claustrophobic: cramped, cluttered, and dark. Pitch dark, actually – there is no gap between the door and the floor, nothing to let the light from the hallway filter through.
 Shelving units line the walls, sagging under the weight of boxes and papers. Daisy has managed to squeeze herself into a tight space between the shelving and a wall, knees hugged tight to her chest, wrapped tightly in a heavy blanket from the cot in the corner. A precarious column of boxes sits in front of her, crowding her and half hiding her from view should anyone come in. She’s become rather gaunt lately – a combination of eight months in the Buried and her failing appetite – and even through the blanket, she can feel her vertebrae pressing up against the cinderblock. She anticipates bruises.
 All of this is fine.
 Until the door creaks open and a thin streak of light shoots across the floor. Daisy hisses and presses the heels of her palms into her eyes, leaning into the pressure.
 “Daisy?”
 Jon’s voice, soft and tentative. It reminds Daisy of the tone one might use when approaching a wounded animal, or perhaps to avoid provoking a bear after unwittingly stumbling into its path. 
 Prey or predator. She isn’t sure which she hates more. 
 “Did you Know I was here, Jon?” She grits her teeth against the snarl climbing up her throat, but doesn’t bother to keep the edge out of her voice.
 “I… yes,” he admits, after an uneasy pause. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to – to Know, it just… it came to me.”
 “It’s fine,” she says, voice clipped and teeth clenched so tightly her jaw aches under the tension.
 “Are you –” Jon stops himself short of asking a question. “I would like to know how you’re feeling,” he says instead, reframing the sentence. He speaks each word carefully, deliberately; he’s trying to keep the compulsion from creeping into his voice, Daisy knows. 
 “Fine,” she repeats, unable to stop the hint of a growl underlying her tone this time. “And stop talking to me like I’m a frightened rabbit, or – or a rabid dog.”
 Jon is quiet for a few moments. When he speaks again, he does take on a more conversational tone: still calm, but without that timid tinge to it.
 “Daisy, I’m going to turn on the light,” he warns. “You should close your eyes if you don’t want to get blinded.”
 Daisy hears the flip of the light switch, followed by Jon’s footsteps crossing the room. She pulls her hands away from her face but keeps her eyes closed, letting them adjust to the sudden influx of light. She doesn’t open them until she hears Jon stop, followed by the rustle of clothing as he lowers himself to the floor. Squinting against the light, she sees that he’s sat a few feet away on a diagonal from her, placing himself within her line of sight while still giving her space.
 He settles back on his haunches, leans back against the shelving unit, and draws his knees to his chest, an unconscious mirroring of Daisy’s posture. When he looks in her direction, he doesn’t actually meet her eye, instead staring at the wall just over her head. He’s been self-conscious lately about eye contact, she knows, ever since he listened to the tape of his victim: He’s all eyes. He’s all eyes.  
 Even so, Daisy still feels exposed. Vulnerable. Known. Seen –
 “What?” she snaps. She’s far too tense right now to care how harsh she sounds.
 It’s fine; they both have a tendency to lash out when they feel cornered. They’re working on it, but in the meantime, they’ve reassured each other that when it does happen, it’s not personal. They’ve been through this song and dance many, many times – which is probably why, when Jon replies, he sounds utterly unfazed.
 “You already know what I want to ask.”
 “Did you rummage around in my mind, then?” It comes off as caustic and accusing, and this time she feels herself wince – yes, there’s the guilt. That was a low blow, and she knows it.
 After a moment of uncomfortable silence, she chances a glance at him. There is the slightest trace of hurt in his eyes, but otherwise, he keeps his expression neutral.
 “No,” he says simply. She can tell he’s trying to keep the conversation from becoming about him, from turning into Daisy comforting him rather than the other way around. Which means she's not getting out of this easily. “I just recognize self-harm when I see it.”
 “I am not –”
 “You’ve hidden yourself away alone in a cramped space, in the dark, and you’re smothering yourself with the heaviest blanket you could find,” Jon interrupts. Then, more gently: “I don’t have to read your mind to know what you’re trying to –”
 “Leave. Me. Alone.” She nearly chokes on the last word, hating herself for how weak it makes her sound. Tearful and timid, like easy prey.  
 “No,” Jon says resolutely.
 Daisy groans. On the whole, Jon tends towards doubt and indecision, but he can be stubborn when he wants to, and she recognizes this tone of his. She has one just like it, though she uses it more often than he does. It exudes an attitude of no, you move – and it’s infuriating to be on the receiving end of it.
 “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but I’m not just going to leave you here to torture yourself.”
 With that, he looks away, giving her back her privacy, and lets the silence settle between them. Fine, Daisy thinks. Jon might be stubborn, but she matches him in that regard. Moreover, she has the advantage of patience. She can sit with silence a lot longer than he can, and she determines to wait him out.
 As expected, it only takes a few minutes before he looks down and focuses his attention on his hands, flexing his burned hand, rubbing his fingers together on the other, tapping them against his knee. Daisy knows by now that Jonathan Sims can’t sit still even when his life depends on it. After he was abducted by the Circus, she saw the bruising from the ropes they bound him with. It wasn’t unexpected, but it still seemed more extensive than it should have been, as if he’d struggled against the restraints the entire month they had him. Even in the Buried, he’d never stopped squirming.
 Usually, his fidgeting doesn’t bother her. Right now, though, it’s grating on her nerves, and she can tell that Jon is in this for the long haul. She cannot handle hours of this.
 Daisy heaves the loudest, most exasperated sigh she can muster, and Jon – damn him – smirks. It’s a private little thing, probably unconscious – a nearly imperceptible upturn at the corner of his mouth, just the faintest hint of self-satisfaction that for once he’s managed to outlast her in one of these conversational stalemates – and then it’s gone.
 It still takes some time for her to compose a sentence, but when she does, the words tumble out in a rush.
 “In the coffin, I couldn’t hear the blood.”
 “I know,” Jon says softly. “But I don’t think forcing yourself to relive the Buried is going to drown it out.”
 Daisy opens her mouth – whether to agree or to make a snide remark, she isn’t entirely sure – but no sound comes out. She can hear her own heart thundering in her chest, can feel the throb of her pulse in her throat. Suddenly, she is all too aware of the blood coursing through her veins – and through Jon’s.
 She jams her fingers in her ears, but it only amplifies the sound of her pulse; she leans back as far as she can, chasing the ache of the wall against her spine, trying to ground herself in the present. That distant but ever-present roar is creeping up on her, though, building in volume, commanding her to seek, to chase, to hunt, to sink her teeth into the prey and let its fear revitalize her.
 The Archivist is right there, the blood tells her, vulnerable and exposed. For too long now, he has delayed the death that dogs his steps. She allowed him to escape, and his continued existence an unforgivable insult to the Hunt. All she needs to do is finish what she started so long ago, grant him the end he knows he deserves, and then she can be whole again –
 “I can’t – I can’t handle the quiet right now,” she blurts out, slamming her hands onto the hard floor. Her voice cuts through the silence, sharp and abrupt, reminding her all too much of the bark of a wild dog. She gives Jon a pleading look, and she doesn’t care how helpless she sounds right then; he’s already seen her like this, in the coffin and so many times since. “I – I need a distraction.”
 “Come on, then,” Jon says, standing and extending his hand. “I’ll pull out the board games. I already made tea.” 
 As he pulls her to her feet, Daisy starts to speak, but Jon heads her off. 
 “Yes, I made yours extra sweet,” he says, rolling his eyes. It’s only faux annoyance, though – there’s fondness in his little half-smile, and he gives her hand a light squeeze.
 Daisy tightens her grip in response before loosening and letting go. Jon lets her hand drop without comment.
 Over the months, they’ve both become adept at offering different varieties of reassurance and comfort, while still giving each other the space to withdraw when necessary. Jon has admitted to her before that he’s always had difficulty reading people, and it’s only gotten worse since working in the Archives. His long bout of paranoia demolished his ability to trust in his own judgments of others, and his constant hand-wringing about his own humanity doesn’t help matters. Lately, he seems to spend every interaction nearly tripping over himself trying to read people’s cues and body language and speech patterns, frantic in his attempts to avoid hurting anyone and constantly dreading the rejection he has come to expect.
 It’s hypervigilance, plain and simple. When it’s just him and Daisy, though, it’s… different. It comes more from a place of mutual understanding, of shared experience. They both know what they’re capable of; they both know that they are things to be feared. With Daisy, Jon can retreat without flinching away and tolerate disengagement without curling in on himself. With Jon, Daisy can let her guard down and trust that he will not patronize her with pity, will not judge her for her moments of weakness. They see each other for what they are. It’s a simple thing, but it makes them both feel just a little bit more human all the same.
 Jon pauses at the threshold, glancing back to make sure she’s following. With a sigh, Daisy steps out of that suffocating room and into the hallway, shutting the door behind her.
 Even she has to admit that sometimes, it’s nice to be seen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A short time later, they’re cloistered away in Jon’s office with two mugs of tea and a stack of battered old board games. Jon had insisted that Daisy choose, so she kneels on the floor and sifts through them.
 “How about Uno?”
 “Hmm. We can, but you seem a little wound up right now, and Uno can be a little… intense.”
 “Fair,” Daisy says after a moment of consideration. “I did get competitive last time.”
 She doesn’t take offense. When they first started spending time together after the Buried, they had promised to be honest with one another. They both had trouble trusting others; reassuring one another that they would be explicit about their thoughts and feelings removed that extra roadblock of constantly questioning the other’s sincerity. Mostly, though, they were both deeply terrified of their own potential, and blunt honesty was the best way they knew to keep each other in check.
 Daisy tosses a few more boxes aside before settling on another. “What about Clue? You’re all about solving mysteries.”
 Jon visibly flinches at that.
 “Did I touch a nerve?” Daisy asks, keeping her voice as neutral as she can. Jon is always primed for rejection these days; all it takes is a hint of disapproval, and he’ll start apologizing for feeling things and setting boundaries.
 “It’s fine.” Jon waves her off, but she gives him a pointed look until he relents. "Just - something Elias said to me once. 'You never could tolerate an unsolved mystery.' He wasn't wrong, but... well..." He trails off and shrugs. 
 "Got it," Daisy says, making a mental note to avoid that particular subject. "So, Clue?"
 He bites his bottom lip, considering. “Unsure. With my luck, the weapon will end up being the lead pipe, and I don’t expect I’d handle that particularly well.”
 He chuckles, but she can detect the seriousness beneath it. She can vividly remember the crime scene. Jurgen Leitner had been bludgeoned so thoroughly that his corpse was unrecognizable, and the blood spatter had traveled so far that Jon was stumbling across overlooked droplets of blood in his office for weeks after he returned. Daisy was desensitized to that sort of thing, but that was likely the first time Jon had seen anything like it. He’s seen worse since then, no doubt, but sometimes the firsts are the ones with the most lingering impact. 
 Daisy holds up another box. “Trivial Pursuit?”  
 Jon seems to perk up at that. The bright spark in his eyes is reminiscent of a child unwrapping a present, and Daisy flashes a knowing smile. “I take that as a yes?” 
 “I… I like trivia games, alright?” he says, a little defensively. “When I was in uni, I used to go to the pub with Georgie on trivia nights –” He cuts himself off, a pained expression dawning on his face. Georgie is always a sore subject, Daisy knows. He has to take a long moment to compose himself before continuing. “She, uh, used to tease me for taking it so seriously. Apparently I can be a bit competitive with it, and – what?”
 Jon stops when he hears Daisy's snickering, and he looks so affronted that it only makes her laugh harder. “Nothing, nothing. That just sounds very… you.”
 “What’s that supposed to mean?”
 “Sims, you’re the biggest nerd I know.”
 He huffs. “We can play something else –”
 “No, I think I want to see what you look like when you get competitive,” Daisy says, already unfolding the board on the floor between them and setting up the stacks of cards. “Youngest goes first,” she says, tossing the dice to him.
 Jon still seems a bit petulant about the ribbing, but she knows it’s just a mask he puts on sometimes, whenever he feels a bit too seen. They’ve spoken a lot about the things they can tease each other about and the things they can’t. Sometimes it’s inconsistent – something can be fair game one day, and the next it’s salt in an open wound – but they try. Jon told her that it makes him feel more alienated when people walk on eggshells around him. Daisy’s light teasing makes him feel included – like she’s treating him as she would treat anyone else she’s friendly with.
 Also, Daisy has found that Jon is actually pretty transparent, once you hang around him long enough. And right now, she can tell he’s inordinately pleased. If he’s trying not to seem too enthusiastic when he rolls the dice, he’s failing magnificently.
 “Purple space. That’s… Art and Literature.”
 “Right,” Daisy says, picking up a card. “Question is… ‘How many sonnets did Shakespeare write?’”
 “One hundred and fifty-four,” Jon blurts out, not missing a beat. 
 Daisy raises an eyebrow. “Didn’t even have to think about that one, did you?”
 “I majored in English as an undergrad,” Jon mutters, sounding a bit embarrassed. “And I already told you, I explored AmDram in uni for a stretch. Did some Shakespeare.”
 “Hm. You’ll have to show me your Hamlet one of these days.” Her voice drops to a lower register as she mimics him: “‘To be, or not to be -’”
 “Absolutely not.”  
 “You’re no fun.” Daisy rolls her eyes in mock annoyance and rolls the dice. "Looks like… Sports and Leisure for me.” 
 Jon dutifully picks up a card and begins to read, modulating his voice the way he does when he’s afraid of letting the compulsion slip through. “‘What are the three positions in roller derby?’”
 “Jammer, blocker, and pivot,” Daisy recites automatically, counting off on her fingers.
 “Didn’t need to think about that one, did you?” Jon says, mimicking Daisy’s previous tone.
 “Is it really that surprising that I like women’s contact sports?”
 Jon laughs. “I suppose not. My turn.” He rolls the dice and moves his piece. “Ah… purple again.”
 “Right. ‘What is the translation of the Russian proverb “chemu”…’” Daisy frowns. “I can’t read this.”
 “Give it here,” Jon says, taking the card from her. “‘Chemu byt’, togo ne minovat’,’” he reads out. Daisy doesn’t speak Russian, so she can’t know for sure, but… she swears his diction sounds indistinguishable from a native speaker. At the very least, there’s no hesitation in his voice, no false starts, no hint of unfamiliarity with the words. 
 “That’s… a weirdly difficult question for Trivial Pursuit,” she says slowly. “How is someone supposed to guess that if they don’t know any Russian?”
 Jon just stares at the card for a few moments, brow furrowing, before placing it face-down on the floor and looking back up at Daisy. “Can I pick a different one?”
 “You can’t just pick a new card whenever you don’t know the answer.”
 “No, I… I do know the answer,” Jon murmurs, shifting uncomfortably. “I just feel like answering it would be cheating.”
 “Why? Are you fluent in Russian or something?”
 “Not… exactly.” Daisy stares at Jon insistently until he sighs. “Sometimes when I read things, the Eye sort of… translates it for me.” He flaps his hands nervously. “It’s – it’s a whole thing.”
 “Right. Different question then,” she says, cutting him off before he can start berating himself. “Let’s see… ‘In Egyptian hieroglyphs, the symbol of a decorated eye most commonly represents the eye of which god?’” Daisy frowns. “That’s a little on the nose.”
 It’s most likely just a coincidence, but she can’t help the feeling that the Eye is laughing at them. Or maybe the Web. Is it able to just magically manifest cards that didn’t come with the game, just to mess with them? Or maybe it’s Helen, having a laugh. It wouldn’t be the first time she’s played a prank that falls just on the side of cruel.
 Daisy is about to say so – mostly but not entirely as a joke – but when she looks up, she sees that Jon has that peculiar look on his face again. He reaches over to the stack of cards and picks one up.
 “What are you –”
 As he reads it, he shakes his head and tosses the card aside, reaching over to take another one. He glances at it, mutters something under his breath, and discards that one as well. Then he picks up another card. And another. And another.
 “You… you alright there, Sims?”
 Jon says nothing, just continues reading and discarding cards, increasingly agitated.
 “Jon.” Daisy reaches over and puts her hand on his wrist. He freezes in place. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
 “I Know all the answers,” he says dully, pulling his hand back.
 “Okay, so you’re good at trivia. I already know you stay up most nights bingeing Wikipedia articles –”
 “No, I – I Know all the answers.”
 “Ah.”
 “Yeah." He steadfastly avoids eye contact, plucking absently at a loose thread on his sleeve. 
 “Alright, out with it,” Daisy says.
 “What?”
 “You’re moping.”
 “I’m not moping –”
 “Yes, you are. I can practically hear your brain going through the five stages of grief over there. So, spill it.”
 “I’m supposed to be comforting you, not – not making it about me!”  He makes a frustrated little groan and buries his fingers in his hair, tugging lightly.
 “We don’t get to choose when the hurt comes.” He said much the same to her just the other day. Both of them seize every opportunity to parrot each other like that, especially when making allowances for the other while refusing to accept the same. It's almost become a game at this point. 
 “Don’t use my words against me,” Jon mutters.
 “No double standards, remember? If it applies to me, it applies to you, too." 
 Jon makes an irritated little sound, blowing a stray lock of hair out of his face. “It’s stupid, anyway.”
 Daisy stares at him, undeterred. She can wait him out all day if she has to. But she won’t have to. Their standoff in the storage room notwithstanding, Daisy usually wins these contests of will. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 Predictably enough, Jon only manages to withstand the silence for a few minutes before he crumbles and lets out a heavy sigh. He catches Daisy’s fleeting, victorious grin and shoots her an annoyed scowl, but there’s no real bite behind it.
 “I just… I feel like I can’t go ten minutes without being reminded how much I’ve changed.”
 “We’ve all changed.”
 “You know what I mean,” Jon says sullenly. “It’s just so… so invasive, having some – some thing put knowledge into my head. I’ll just suddenly Know the answer to a question I never asked. It's just there where it wasn’t before, interrupting whatever I was thinking before, like – like tripping over a piece of furniture that shouldn’t be there. And when I actively try not to Know things, it’s like opening the floodgates – it’s more likely to slip through the cracks, once the idea is there. Like a…” He gives a short laugh. “Like a compulsion, I suppose. Intrusive thoughts, but with a supernatural origin.”
 “Sounds like how the blood feels for me. Sometimes I can listen to the quiet, but other times – like earlier – there’s no drowning it out.” Daisy’s expression darkens. “I let down my guard for a second, hear the first note of it, and then it has its claws sunk into me. And it doesn't like letting go." 
 “That’s… that’s it exactly," Jon says. "Seems like you’re better at controlling it, though.”
 “I’m not, really. It keeps getting harder and harder.”
 “Well, you’re better than me, at least. I couldn’t even ask you how you take your tea without accidentally compelling you. I can recognize on sight when someone has a statement, and it’s everything I can do not to – to gravitate towards them, like a shark to blood.” He grimaces. “I can’t even look people in the eye anymore. I’ve noticed lately that if I lock eyes with someone, they can’t seem to look away, and sometimes I can’t either, and then – then I have to watch as the dread starts to dawn in their eyes. They always sense that there’s something about me that they should fear, even if they can’t put their finger on why, and I have to watch it play out on their faces. It's like the nightmares, but... bleeding over into real life, now. And I’m constantly bombarded with – with facts and figures, almost all of them completely useless, or –” 
 That familiar sense of dread creeps up on him, and with it comes the pressured speech, a stream-of-consciousness torrent of words that spill from his lips before he can even process what he’s saying. He threads his fingers through his hair again, pulling lightly, trying to ground himself in the sensation.
 “I passed someone in the lobby the other day, and suddenly I Knew the cause of death for their Year 9 maths teacher. I can’t be in crowds anymore – too much floods in at once, I can't separate myself from the noise. And – and just yesterday I was making tea, and between one thought and the next, I Knew the exact number of casualties in the Nivelle Offensive – right down to the single digit.” Jon knows he’s rambling, can hear his voice rising in volume – louder, louder, anything to drown out the sound of his own heartbeat thundering in his ears – but he can’t seem to stop himself. He tugs even harder on his hair, just to feel some semblance of control over something.  “That’s – that’s not even a thought that would occur to me naturally, I’ve never – never wondered about that, military history was never my thing, but – but there it was. I – I can’t even read a book anymore without having the ending spoiled for me before I even finish the first chapter.”
 By the time he stops, Jon is nearly panting. Daisy says nothing for a moment, leaving an opening for him to continue before she speaks. 
 “That sounds…”
 “Yes, stupid, I know,” he mutters darkly.
 “I wasn’t going to say ‘stupid.’”
 “Well, it is. So much has happened – Jane Prentiss, the Circus, the coma, the Buried, the – the existence of potentially world-ending Rituals constantly looming over all of us. Losing Tim, and – and Sasha, and… and Martin being…” Jon leans forward and puts his head in his hands, covering his eyes. “And then I read, and experience, and – and feed on – other people’s trauma, and what I finally break down over is some silly little thing like this.”
 Daisy sighs. “It’s not stupid, Jon. This place keeps finding new ways to make us all miserable. Sometimes it gets to be too much. Especially when we aren’t even allowed a good distraction from it all.”
 That’s really what it is, isn’t it? The Eye has stolen everything from him – from all of them. They have no respite from its watchful gaze, no sense of safety within these walls, and any ounce of comfort they can scrounge up is promptly wrung out of them. And Jon – Jon doesn’t even have the space to think, to process any of what’s happened to him – not when his own train of thought can be unceremoniously derailed without warning, replaced with the details of some hapless stranger’s darkest secret. Even his dreams aren’t his own.
 He keeps trying to listen to the quiet, but he can’t find it in all the noise.
 Before he went into the coffin, it was only the Eye keeping the Lonely from claiming him for itself – and yet, he was still never alone in his own mind. It was jarring, feeling isolated and watched and possessed all at the same time. He wanted companionship, yes, but he also was desperate for just a moment to himself – just one inch of himself that belonged to him and him alone. He has Daisy, now, and she keeps some of his loneliness at bay, but it doesn’t dispel that fundamental sense of ostracism he feels when interacting with any of the others, and it doesn’t change the fact that he hasn’t been his own person in a very, very long time – and probably never will be again.
 He doesn’t know how long he’s been lost in thought, but he snaps out of it when Daisy adds: “Sometimes it’s the little things that wear you down the most.”
 She isn’t wrong. Jon distinctly remembers what finals week during uni was always like for him. He’d pull back-to-back all-nighters, let that ever-present fear of failure drown him, bottle up all the stress until the pressure became too much and he would finally, inevitably break down. It was always some little thing that would finally set him off: someone playing music too loudly outside, a car alarm startling him into heart palpitations, not being able to find a particular page of notes in the constant clutter that was his desk. There’s always been some seemingly insignificant last straw that leaves him crying over spilled milk, figuratively speaking. (And, on one occasion, literally: Georgie had walked into the kitchen one time to find him sitting on the floor just staring at an upended milk carton and fighting back tears.)
 Apparently that hasn't changed much in the intervening years. 
 “Yes, well,” he says, “I don’t see you breaking down over every little thing.”
 “Hmm.” Daisy stretches her leg across the gap between them and nudges him with her foot. “Want to know why I was hiding in the storage room?”
 “Only if you want to tell me.”
 “I fell in the tunnels. I had been doing fine down there, but then out of nowhere the walls felt too close together, and when I tried to run, I tripped. Scraped my hands on the floor when I fell. When I looked at them, they were covered in dirt, and that made me think of the coffin. And there was blood – just the smallest amount, but it was enough to make me think of…" She gives a humorless chuckle. "Well, it’s a cliché, but it made me think of all the blood on my hands.”
 “And then you felt guilty,” Jon says slowly, putting the pieces together, “so you decided to punish yourself by simulating the Buried and cramming yourself into it.”
 She gives a little half-shrug. It’s as good as a confirmation.
 “We… we’re a mess, aren’t we?” Jon says with a wry smile.
 “Yeah. But at least we have that in common.” Daisy gives Jon a purposeful glance. “Better than dealing with it alone.”
 It takes a moment, but Jon nods.  
 “Well,” Daisy announces, clapping her hands on her knees. “I’m going to go out back and burn this.”
 “Wait – what?” He watches, completely bewildered, as Daisy folds up the game board and starts shoving cards haphazardly back into the box. “Daisy, you don’t have to –” His hands flutter anxiously for a few moments before he throws them up in exasperation and sighs. “Why is everyone’s first plan always arson?”
 “I get to destroy something that upset someone I care about,” she says, matter-of-fact, smashing the lid onto the box, “and no one gets hurt in the process.”
 “It’s not the game’s fault that I –”
 “Yeah, well. I can’t exactly set Elias on fire," she says, punctuating Elias' name with a low snarl. “The next best thing is a reminder of what he’s done.”
 With that, Daisy stands, tucking the box under her arm.
 “I –”
 “When I get back we can play Candy Land,” she says, overriding Jon’s protests.
 “Candy Land?” He laughs, bemused. “Really, Daisy?”
 “What, are there any statements on – on evil sugar that I should know about?”
 She means it mostly as a joke, but there’s still the hint of a genuine question there. Given everything they’ve both seen, malicious, sentient candy would just be one more impossible horror on the pile.
 Jon tries not to think too hard on which of Smirke’s Fourteen would be its domain.
 “No, uh –” Jon laughs again, not quite able to disguise the nervous uncertainty that creeps in. “No confectionary horrors so far, thank god. As far as I know, anyway.” He wrinkles his nose. “Just – just meat.”
 “Good. Now go make some more tea. I’ll meet you back here.”
 “Fine,” he sighs. “Just don’t – don’t set the dumpster on fire while you’re out there? Last thing we need is for someone to call emergency services. They would send Sectioned officers over as soon as they saw the Institute on caller ID.”
 “Right, right.” Daisy starts off down the hall. “Extra sugar in my tea, Sims,” she calls over her shoulder.
 “I know how you take your tea by now, Daisy!” he shouts after her, smiling as her laughter echoes back to him. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
End Notes:
The "you never could tolerate an unsolved mystery" line Elias is from one of my other fics.
The Russian is a transliteration Чему́ быть, того́ не минова́ть. It loosely translates to "fate cannot be avoided"/"what will be will be" (or, that's the gist, anyway). Baaaaasically I needed to manufacture some kind of conceit to have Jon translate a thing, and I figured I may as well make it something that would feel just a little too personalized for him specifically. (And also handwave how out of place that question would be in your standard Trivial Pursuit deck by saying 'the Web or Helen probably did it just to bully Jon, idk, that seems pretty on-brand for them'.) Anyway, I checked the translation and transliteration with a friend of mine who knows Russian; hopefully I got it right.
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iamcinema · 4 years
Text
IAC Reviews #013: The Forest (1982)
I’ve been gone for far too long and in desperate need of a massive pick-me up with how everything around us is becoming more of a tire fire by the minute. So, let’s pack our bags and make our way for the woodlands to get away from the chaos for a while. I miss being out in the great outdoors during times like this. It’s so calm and peaceful, and with us approaching summer here in the northern hemisphere, it’s all the more pleasant. The fresh air, wide open space, the clear night skies - what could possibly go wrong? _______________________________________ I first heard about The Forest back in 2008 when I came across the Creepy Kentuckian’s review of it as part of his now dead series “Creepy’s Crappy Movie Reviews”, in which he spotlighted other horror titles like Lost Boys: The Tribe, Terror on Tour, Return to Sleepaway Camp, and Bates Motel to name a few. Since then, it sort of faded away from my memory and much like other films like Don’t Go in the Woods...Alone and Backwoods, which was for better or worse. Because I have an unusual fascination for these gritty, lesser known or spoken of titles, my eyes almost always light up when I come across something in the wild like this. I hope you packed your bug spray, because we’re going in deep for this one. Who knows what we’ll find?!
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The Forest is a 1982 horror-thriller film that was directed, produced, edited, and written by Don Jones who doesn’t exactly have the most impressive filmography with anything too noteworthy to speak of. Most of his credits are attributed to the sound department, with titles like Blood of the Iron Maiden, The Psycho Lover, and Girl 27 (which is most recent credit as of 2007) coming up when you crosscheck his information. In regards to the cast, most of them didn’t go on to do a ton either after the 1980s for the most part, apart from Gary Kent who has the most prolific career of the crew with most of them being attributed to acting and stunt work - something he provided here as the acting stunt coordinator, which he went unaccredited for.
Our story centers on that of two couples and longtime friends who go on a camping trip to get away from the city and potentially help save one of their marriages from divorce. However, their fun doesn’t last too long when car troubles, bad weather, and a cannibalistic hermit looking for his next meal before winter puts a damper on things. While this isn’t anyone’s first rodeo with woodland cannibals, hermits, and weirdos, perhaps this one will bring something special to the table to help it stand out among all the rest.
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The Forest In One Gif:
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Well, color me impressed...I think. ________________________________________ It’s hard to really put a pin in movies like this since it feels like you can only do so much with the concept. You don’t exactly know what you’re going to get, so at best you might get something above average and at worst you’ll have a disaster of a time. Going into this, I honestly wasn’t sure what to expect given the mediocre review from the Creepy Kentuckian and the abysmal 3.8/10 rating on IMDb. I’ve had luck with poorly rated and received films before in the past, so maybe there was some hope that this would impress me. Maybe.
As far as the story goes, it's not all that bad and the motivation for our main characters feels like it means something so it doesn’t feel like a completely bland and generic slasher film - sort of. With the reviews I’ve come across on IMDb, some say that while this absolutely looks and feels like a stereotypical horror film with the same tired tropes, it bring something else to the table that helps it feel a bit more different. But, what this thing is I can’t exactly nail down either. I think it's partially due in part to the supernatural elements that come into play a bit later, which caught me off-guard because I wasn’t expecting it - certainly not for a film like this, as well as the subtle drama with our villain’s backstory and the marital subplot.
If I had to make one gripe about it that I can think of, it would be the logic and reasoning behind why our cannibal hermit, John, is doing what he does. I mean, we do learn more about his backstory and why he’s the way that he is, but why he chooses to hunt people for sport and his food supply doesn’t completely make sense to me if that’s how he’s scraping by alone. He’s situated on miles upon miles of woodland with plenty of freshwater sources, so why he isn’t utilizing those to his advantage doesn’t make a ton of sense to me. Plus, you’d have to have a good amount of luck to just stumble across random hikers and campers like that, but again, that's just a small gripe that we don’t get much of an answer for.
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With our characters as a whole, they aren’t all that bad and or as forgettable as others are from similar low-budget, obscure, and forgotten horror films. There’s something charming about our main characters, even if the acting isn’t very good and the dialogue being clumsy which starts to show itself more as things go by in a way where it boarders between feeling awkward and sometimes unintentionally comedic. The latter feels all the more accurate when it comes to one of the scenes towards the end of the film, and I don’t know if that was done on purpose or it was a weird stylistic choice with the editing [which, as a spoiler, flashing epilepsy warning for those who are photosensitive].
From a technical standpoint, it’s pretty good for what it’s worth and I have very little to nitpick about.
However, the only way to truly enjoy this is in 1080p+ because you’d otherwise be robbing yourself of the all around sound visuals, which is probably the strongest thing going for it. The film was shot in the Sequoia National Park, which makes for some truly beautiful shots with the scenery; both the day and night shots when the lighting was good. But, some of the day for night shots it feels a bit off because we’ll cut from that to an actual night take, and then back to day for night. It can throw you off a bit with what time it’s supposed to be, but that feels more like something that can be overlooked with some patience.
If I had to fault the technical department somewhere, it would be with the sound. For the most part, it’s quite good and clear. In spite of that, we have a few hiccups here and there where the dialogue feels muffled or low due to the background noise of the rivers they were shooting near or on part of the child actors who have a filter distortion over them. Once again, this can be glossed over, but without captions or a good ear you might overlook something unless you don’t care.
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When it comes to the SFX work, I’m impressed by how gruesome it was for something this low budget. The opening sequence in particular is probably the most graphic moment of the film and it gets us off to a nice start with what we can expect for the duration of the film, even when it comes to the more tame murders or bloody injuries. The same can be said with the stunt work as well in a way too, I suppose. While the fight sequences aren’t anything special, it’s interesting that one of the actresses, Tomi Barrett, did her own stunts; which included a scene where she dove off a small cliff and was swept down the river over some rapids. Much like her co-star and husband Gary Kent, this also went unaccredited for.
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On another semi technical note, the score and soundtrack isn’t all that bad either and is kind of catchy, at least to me. It was composed largely by Richard Hieronymus and Alan Oldfield; with Hieronymus providing work for films like Lethal Pursuit, The Astral Factor, and The Love Butcher and Oldfield working on films like 10 to Midnight, The Fear, and The Fear: Resurrection. The songs are also a nice touch as well, even if they’re brief; particularly “The Dark Side of the Forest” (ft. David Somerville) and the closing song “The Edge of Forever” (ft. Carol Browning). If you have a guilty pleasure for 80′s horror soundtracks, especially the somewhat cheesy like ones like Blood Lake, Psycho Pike, and Truth or Dare?: A Critical Madness, then I think you’re going to have fun with this one. I hate to admit it, but I’ve been jamming to both ever since I wrapped up seeing this a few hours ago.
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So, where am I at now with this? I don’t completely know, if I’m being honest.
To hearken back to something I said about Rot last year, I think that the low score it has is a rather harsh and a bit unfair. While I agree that it’s better than Don’t Go Into The Woods Alone by a long shot, it doesn’t sit right with me. On that note, I feel that seeing reviews that place it at 8/10 or above is being a bit too generous as well, even if it’s in a “so bad, it’s good sense” which I don’t consider this to be since I don’t see it as a terrible horror film either. This is why it’s difficult for me to stick some pins in this damn thing to figure out where I’d place it.
It’s not a masterpiece by any means, absolutely not, but it’s not trying to be and it’s not a massive disappointment either like a certain film around the same time was. If you’re looking for a different slasher film of the time, especially if you have a weakness for woodland flicks goes, consider giving this one a watch some time and see where you fall with things. I’m stumped with how I feel about this one. I didn’t hate it, but I don’t see myself rushing to watch this again in the near future.
Rating: 5.3/10
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polaris-australis · 4 years
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6 Horror Podcast Recommendations For Quarantine
I’m bored, you’re bored. If you’re interested in looking for new audio dramas to listen to (because I’m bad at the nonfiction ones, sorry), especially if you’re a fan of scaring the shit out of yourself like I somehow am, then I have a few I’ve been meaning to talk about. Note that I will either give warnings for each one or they can be found in the descriptions of the episodes themselves. These are all my opinions on them, though I will try to stick to basic summaries. I just think these are good content. 
I’m also willing to make a part 2 for this people are interested, because there are so many more and I haven’t even touched on most of the more popular ones (namely Magnus Archives which I’m not going to talk about because literally everyone is so it’s not hard to find a summary about it). 
2 Short Podcasts
1. The Hyacinth Disaster: This is the shortest show on this list, being only seven episodes long, each being about 20 minutes long, but it’s amazing and I love it. It centers around a group of asteroid miners trying to strike it rich on an asteroid in order to bargain for the life and safe return of their friend, who is being held hostage by a rival company who claims the ship was in their territory. However, it turns out the asteroid is kind of sentient, and over the course of the show, every single character dies. This isn’t really a spoiler, so I feel like I can say it. It’s masterfully done, being very character focused and emotional. I can’t think of any major warnings here besides death (which aren’t explicit or particularly gruesome), but there should be some in the episode descriptions as needed.
2. Limetown: We’re only counting season one of Limetown because season two is absolutely garbage and hardly anyone I have seen actually considers it canonical. This one is also one of the major ones on this list, as it was one of the early audio dramas that really showed what the medium could do and brought in new listeners the way WTNV did for many people (including me). It surrounds a journalist named Lia Haddock who is investigating the mystery behind Limetown, a fictional research town for the top scientists in the country where, within a single day it seems, every single resident vanished. When she begins her investigation, a survivors start to come out of their hiding places, revealing exactly what was going on and some of them dying in the process. It’s six episodes total with mini “announcements” in between that are part of the show, though are usually about 3-5 minutes. Episodes average out around 30 minutes, sometimes more or less. It’s interesting and in-depth and I did enjoy it - however there are major trigger warnings that I wish someone had given me. At the end of episode 2, there is a man who people refer to as “The Manic Man” who is very much unstable and frankly pretty ableist and gross, but I won’t get into that here. He basically bangs his head on Lia’s door screaming her name and that she needs to stop investigating Limetown. He appears again at the end of episode 3, having broken into her parents’ house and is ominously saying her name into the phone. He is not heard from for the rest of the season, nor in season two if you listen to that disaster. Episode 3 also involves animal death, and in “The 911 Call” there are gunshot noises. Again, it’s an enjoyable podcast, but please be careful is any of these things are triggering for you.
3 Medium-ish Podcasts
3. Academicasaurus : This one is a bit different from the others, but I’m considering it horror because a) someone is listening in to all the phone conversations, which is how we’re hearing them, b) it does end up surrounding the supernatural, and c) it just has a creepy vibe to it. This one surrounds two English literature professors and the head librarian, who help run Academicasaurus, the school arts journal that combines older aspects and elements of literature with modern pop culture. It begins when they begin getting wildly inaccurate articles dropped at their office doors, and then strange things begin happening around the school, including a fire in the library and a missing person case. In season 2, the supernatural aspect to the school starts to unveil. Episodes are about 12-20 minutes for season one, which is 7 episodes, then start hitting the 20-25 marks in season 2, which is 8 episodes. Season 3 is starting May 25, 2020, so I’m probably going to relisten before then. It’s fun content, and yes goes along with the grey academia aesthetic.
4. Janus Descending:  Listen. Listen. This was so close to being my jam. The twist just ended up screwing me over and I hate so much that it was ruined for me. It’s another space podcast where two xenoanthropologists head to an unknown planet where there were signs of an ancient civilization and things go terribly wrong. It’s told through alternating perspectives and audio logs, but the real kick is that Chel’s tapes go in normal chronological order and Peter’s go backwards. So you get the sheer whiplash of going from “everything is going to be amazing!” to “sobbing because one is dead and the other is about to die.” I personally just didn’t enjoy the main twist at the end but that was just me. Episodes are about 20-30 minutes, there are 13 total. The main warnings are for lots of paranoia, crying, and major character death/some violence. Not bad horror wise overall.
2 Longer Podcasts
5. What’s the Frequency?: This is a much weirder one that I have found is a hit or miss with most people. It’s set in 1950s LA and at first surrounds two private investigators searching for a missing typewriter, but then expands into a world descending into madness due to a strange radio show. It’s a bit gorey but there are trigger warnings, and the aesthetic is honestly terrifying. The audio effects are amazing, distorting and making it sound like an old radio. Episodes are around 20-30 minutes except for the finale I think which is longer. Only the first season is out for now but season two is supposed to be out soon, which is why this is going here instead of above. Regardless, this is a good time to listen.
6. The White Vault: This is a podcast I’ve referenced before on my main blog. It’s an isolation horror podcast about a team sent up to a research outpost in Svalbard to fix a transmission issue, but they become stranded by an unnaturally brutal snowstorm. They discover a vault (literally) in the bunker that leads into a cave system that isn’t as abandoned as they thought. This one is honestly terrifying, it’s just the anticipation and slow build up that then becomes actual horror as the monster hunts them down one by one. Three seasons are up right now, and the final season comes out in October, so this is a good time to catch up if you like. Episodes can be from thirty minutes to almost an hour, each being told through the “found footage” format with a separate narrator putting the pieces together. Each season has about 10 episodes. I adore it to bits.
Feel free to tell me if you try any of these shows and your thoughts on them! Again, I’m totally willing to make more posts like this touching on other horror podcasts or nonhorror ones, but I felt like making this one first. Hope you’re all having a good day, and, if not, that it gets better soon < 3
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kinetic-elaboration · 4 years
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January 27: Thoughts on The 100 2x09, Remember Me
...For some reason I was really angry at the beginning of this? Also there’s a lot of Lxa bashing. Sorry. And some Clarke criticism but in the latter case, I mean it well.
Also this is really long whoops.
*
So...I miss when killing off main characters was a big deal and people actually reacted to it.
I truly cannot take Lxa seriously I’m sorry. I don’t find her... intimidating at all.
I’ve already complained repeatedly about her complete bad faith deal making at every turn so I won’t go into it again but nevertheless, here she is, again, moving the goal posts of the negotiation. ‘I’ll withdraw my army if you cure the Reapers. No, if you give up your friend. No, if you give me his body.’ Clarke should have double crossed her immediately.
Also I know that I ultimately did think it was reasonable for Finn to face Grounder justice (except insofar as that justice was itself morally untenable--that is, the Torture Porn) but now that he’s dead, I think there’s no real moral argument to be made that the Grounders deserve his body. I understand their traditions, which in fact I found quite moving when I first watched this ep, but surely his people have, or could make up, some traditions for his burial also. He is still their friend. This seems like little more than an excuse to be cruel. And Clarke’s so fucking broken she just goes with it. It’s truly awful. I mean she’s doing the only thing she can do I guess but it’s laughable that she sounds as if she has any sort of upper hand, you’re getting played bitch.
(Yeah I know, Lxa is being ‘groundbreaking’ and ‘revolutionary’ by even semi-accepting capital punishment without torture and taking his body is a way of appeasing her harder line advisers but like cry me a river--she’s either the all powerful commander or she’s fucking not.)
“We want the same things.” Lol if you wanted the same things you would have stuck to the original deal. No I’m not over this at all I guess.
I also still can’t get over how Clarke has literally never earned true leadership in the eyes of her own people and yet she continues to be randomly viewed as a leader by the Grounders and thus retains pretty much full de facto control over her own people’s power structure.
Also Kane shut the fuck up. I completely forgot about this but they really did put him through an off-screen 180 where all of a sudden Lxa is a God to him and can literally do nothing wrong and to this day we have never been given an explanation how that came to be. Guess it’s easier to tell not show huh?!?
ALSO I get we’re suppose to see a sort of racism-corollary to lines like “I don’t think they know what peace is” like obviously this rubs one the wrong way automatically. But Abby’s not really wrong. And despite what Kane thinks, Lxa has given, again, NO indication at all that she is interested in peace. She has given a lot of indications that she wants to do whatever she can to wring as much from the Sky People as she can without giving anything in return and hey we’re only halfway through the season and she’s already psychologically broken Clarke (also the only person she acknowledges as the leader even though she is not, cannot emphasize this enough, the leader of anything... and thus the only person L really has to break) and sunk-cost-fallacy-ed her into submission. Now that Finn is dead Clarke would cut off her own tit to make Lxa happy because anything else is “letting him die in vain.”
...Why am I so angry lol?
I understand the positions of both Clarke and Raven in this scene, which is fucking brutal, but I sympathize more with Raven. Clarke’s basically just a messenger, but what the Grounders are demanding is (I know I already said it) cruel, and cruel to Raven above all. And Clarke is almost all business. I think that’s what she needs to be for herself but it’s not helpful to the situation.
Anyway here are my faves in Mount Weather. It’s almost hard to watch these scenes because I want to, like, memorize them. Partially for the C/M story and partially just because. Today’s adventure is getting to a radio to send a message to the Ark-wide channel, which is a term for a thing that exists. Also I forgot how snarky everyone / Miller was to Maya. Which, I get. But--are they not thinking about how her own people have experimented on her? Like she is expendable to them, this is just a known fact at this time. So yes, there is a real risk to her, Nathan.
“Oh, is that all?” / “No--there’s more.” Monty’s so one-track he didn’t even hear the sarcasm. I love him.
“Their army has been getting their ass kicked by Mount Weather forever.” Bellamy speaking the truth. Do they need the alliance, or do they just need the Grounders to back the fuck off from attacking them? (Spoiler: they do not need the alliance.)
Ah Bellarke, always quick to reassure each other. Blindly, even.
“Since I don’t take orders from you, I’m going to need a better reason” is one of my favorite lines, and underrated. Finally someone reminding Clarke she’s not actually in charge of everyone and everything all the time. (I realize this sounds like I dislike Clarke. I don’t. I just find certain traits of hers frustrating. But this just makes her a good character.) Also you can see that, rather like her moment with Raven, she falls back on being business like and direct and issuing orders to avoid talking about feelings or breaking apart.
The United States War Room survives the apocalypse.
I’m sorry but it’s ridiculous to think that Lxa invented the concept of an alliance lol.
I guess Clarke needs to go all in on the alliance because of Finn, but... I also think this is part of who she is. Her sense of practicality outweighs any human desire to hold a grudge, and I think she assumes a level of practicality in others too, automatically, such that she underestimates wariness in others. Like Bellamy and Gustus and everyone is right to be uncertain about this literally hours-old alliance--not even an official alliance, since L’s latest demand hasn’t technically been met!--and Clarke’s like ‘yeah I’ll sleep next to people who would have killed me six hours ago np!’ because now that she’s in, she’s in. She’s neither angry nor afraid.
Linctavia like “Google Earth, always taking pictures.”
Is Lincoln wearing Ark clothes?
I know Raven is made to look kind of wan and sunken and sad but yet this scene where she’s being disarmed is honestly like peak hotness for me and I don’t know why. I like my women sullen and covered in knives?
Interesting how allegedly only the warriors knew English and yet Lxa’s big announcement re: get in line with me or die is made in English. Just going to point out yet again what a big mistake that throwaway S1 line is.
What a sad life to lead, where random declarations followed by “or death” have to form the entirety of your belief system “Don’t be upset that your wife and child are dead...or I’ll beat you to a pulp.” I truly don’t understand how we were ever supposed to get in line with this society as sympathetic or interesting. So much so that they get a whole prequel I guess???
I’d rather have a Mount Weather prequel except not really, don’t ruin it for me.
I love Miller’s canonical insane superhuman strength. This is a trait often overlooked in fics.
The usual comment on Mount Weather scenes: I love all of it.
The thing is that if everyone were on board with the funeral ceremony, it is touching. Murderer and murdered together, and the people who’ve been hurt, on both sides, saying goodbye as a group. It’s just that Clarke’s people were coerced into this--they weren’t convinced it would be a fitting ceremony, just told ‘well this is how it is and if you don’t like it, we could perhaps... KILL YOU?”
Is this a new revelation that Mount Weather crashed the Exodus ship (still a really satisfying belated explanation imo)? Or did we know that because, unlike Monty et al, we knew about the jamming signals already? Can’t remember.
You can see how L came to believe what she believes but nevertheless this is bad advice lol. “Don’t care about other people.” Okay, I’ll just stop doing that then.
Mmmm, a feast in a subway station. Delicious. Fucking full pig head as the centerpiece. Very DC.
Kane (handing over pure space moonshine probably): Just don’t drink too much of it. Clarke (five minutes later): Guzzles whole bottle at once. #partygriff is officially canon.
Waiting until tomorrow to start the war? Procrastinators. Clarke didn’t kill Finn for this.
I love Certified Dramatic Ho Bellamy knocking the cup out of Clarke’s hand even though she had made no move whatsoever to drink it.
“When you plunged your knife into the heart of the boy you loved, did you not wish that it was mine.” Lxa, also a certified Dramatic Ho.
Clarke kinda deserved to be punched in the face given that it wouldn’t actually make sense for Raven to try to poison Lxa--and make Finn’s death mean nothing? And put them all in danger in enemy territory? Nonsense. Nevertheless it’s hard not to feel bad for her when she follows this accusation up with a psychotic break.
Hmmm, do I think Abby turning in Jake was the same as Clarke killing Finn? Not really. She didn’t directly kill Jake, that was Jaha, and Jaha is who Clarke should really be mad at. That said, I don’t think she was really saving anyone in the direct way Clarke was. So, apples and oranges. Crazy awkward moment to bring it up, though lol. “Oh Clarke, you’ll feel better eventually--remember that time I killed your Dad? I got over that! Wait--does talking about your dead father upset you? That’s a surprise!” Nevertheless I appreciate major actions having consequences as that’s a semi-rarity on this show.
Monty Green: hero.
“Lxa needs this alliance as much as we do.” - True, if she intends to get her people out of MW. “She’s shown herself to be flexible.” - Not true. She’s given the bare minimum of concessions. Kane, please crawl back out of her colon for like 5 seconds, get some air.
Interesting that Raven and Bellamy are chilling near each other. I wonder what they were discussing. Tbh Bellamy’s feelings on everything in this episode are rather opaque. Other than understanding why Clarke mercy-killed Finn and being skeptical of the alliance.
“Kill one person and destroy the alliance” is literally only merciful because the default in this society is “kill everyone all the time for any reason.” Like, I guess??? That’s mercy by comparison?? But forgive me if I am not moved to admiration.
“This time justice will be done” says the woman who used the barest sliver of evidence to decide that a random person was guilty so she could have a public execution. A public execution to replace the other public execution, in fact, not to avenge a death because Gustus isn’t dead. (Yet.)
Kane’s really okay with letting Raven be tortured to death, huh? Gah he’s fucking annoying.
Bellarke: Crime Solving Duo. That’s some satisfying teamwork. Clarke figures out how the scheme worked. Bellamy figures out who’s behind the scheme. With all the evidence put together, the motive becomes clear. (Honesty, they should have been suspicious that the poison not only didn’t kill Gustus, it barely harmed him lol.)
Check out all the Department of Homeland Security stuff on Monty’s computer. This is perhaps Dante’s log in? There’s a set of “personal” files too. And a set of President’s Office files, which one would assume not everyone would have.
Anyway, I have a Thing for tense sequences of hackers...hacking.
When I first watched this season I was often so tense my whole body hurt and it’s mostly because of MW scenes like this one where Monty is caught. Like aaaaah it still gets me. He almost makes it... and then almost makes it again, with his silly little salute... (Never forget that he is A Dork.)
On the one hand, Raven being tortured and then seeing Gustus tortured to death allows her to see why Clarke killing Finn was an act of mercy, to forgive her, and to move on, so the narrative can continue with them as allies and nominal friends. And it works, basically. But I also think there’s something to the theory that they were never the same, that the wound never really healed.
I’m sorry but Octavia’s face when Clarke’s like “Yeah B, you’re expendable, go get yourself killed, have a map!!” is hilarious. Like, he’s just said that Gustus doing anything for Lxa made sense, and Octavia responded with “Look at the thanks he got” which seems to me like She Knows and then 5 seconds later Bellamy is basically thrown away by the person we all know he’d do anything for... I mean the face is fair. Also this is Bellamy’s idea and it’s a good idea and so he was right before and Clarke is also right now, but it’s still so... annoying.... like “okay, I’m done caring about you lol bye.”
And Raven’s just totally confused. It’s been a damn long day I guess.
Why are they all such fucking hotties? It’s hard to pay attention to “the plot.”
So the ashes Abby tries to give to Clarke are the same ashes, perhaps, that Jasper scatters in S3? This vial looks smaller. Why did she not immediately give them to Raven? That would seem to be the obvious thing to do.
And here we see Clarke, under L’s direct influence, becoming Increasingly Insufferable. I love her but this is obviously supposed to be her descent into the abyss: she treats her friends like little expendable minions, she turns her back on Finn’s memory, and then she ends the episode by dramatically walking into a dark room in slow motion to creepy chamber music. I mean this is the hero’s fall guys!! That’s what it always was!!!
If only they’d handled Bellamy’s hero’s fall in 3A, and Clarke’s rise again in 3B, as well.
That ending is a straight up horror movie thanks that’s why this is my favorite season.
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battlersexual · 4 years
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Board Game Showcase #3: Sentinels of the Multiverse
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Introduction:
I mentioned in my introduction post for this series that my love of board games only really blossomed when I joined my college’s board game club. This game in particular was actually one of the major reasons why.
Sentinels of the Multiverse is a game about superheroes, but it’s not like any of the multitude of superhero-based board games on the market. Most of those just license actual Marvel or DC superheroes and put them on some other game, like Monopoly or a generic deckbuilder skeleton. Sentinels is something very different: It’s a totally original superhero game, (admittedly very much based on the Marvel-DC characters in a lot of ways) and it’s incredibly fun. Let’s talk about it!
Story:
I’m going to give you the broad strokes here, because trying to tell you the full story of Sentinels would be kind of like trying to summarize the plot of Magic: The Gathering in a single text post. Even with that, this will probably be the longest story segment I write.
In an alternate universe, instead of the Marvel and DC we’re familiar with, the comics publisher that came out on top was Sentinel Comics. Within the world of Sentinel Comics, the stories followed a similar trajectory to ours: the Golden Age where superheroes fought ordinary criminals and nazis, the Silver age with its wacky space shenanigans and superscience nonsense, the more restrained Bronze age where comics started to tackle more serious issues, a brief Dark age where everything was gritty and EXTREEEEEME, and the Modern age, where writers tried to take the best of everything that came before and just tell good stories (perhaps with mixed results, but I’m not a comic critic, so I’ll leave it at that.) The actual card game can best be described as a licensed game set in the Modern age of Sentinel Comics, which just so happens to have fallen through a time portal to our universe.
Overall, the story follows the Freedom Five, an Avengers-esque superhero team working together against all manner of villains, from the moustache-twirling to the downright terrifying. The villains in the game are all structured like crisis crossovers, with a team of supers going up against them. Each expansion to the game introduced part of the ongoing struggle as the comics progressed, culminating in the OblivAeon crisis and the end of the multiverse as we know it.
Obviously there’s more to it, but I want to move on and talk about individual characters later.
Mechanics and more under the cut.
Mechanics:
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Sentinels is, technically speaking, a card game instead of a board game. That said, it still falls into the nebulous category of “Tabletop game” and most board game fans consider them board games anyway.
The game is technically 3-5 players, but can easily support 1 and 2 player games by having each player control multiple characters. Each player will pick a hero from the box, along with their deck. For example...
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(Legacy is in some ways the most basic hero, so I’ll be using him as an example often.)
Each hero has a character card that gives them an HP value and a base power (In this case, Galvanize). This means the hero always has something they can do no matter which cards they get. Each hero has a unique deck of cards that focuses on their particular niche, Legacy’s being buffing the team and tanking damage.
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Heroes generally work on their own, but often excel by teaming up with other heroes and complementing their own powers. Each turn, a player does three things: Play, Power, Draw, in that order. Play a card from their hand, use a power (either their innate power or one listed on an ongoing card) and draw a card. You can skip both play and power to draw two cards instead. If a hero is reduced to 0 HP, they’re not out of the fight yet: the flip side of their card has “Incapacitated abilities” that help the other team members.
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(I couldn’t find a good image of Legacy’s incap side, this is from one of the other characters, Fanatic).
Sentinels is a cooperative game: the heroes work together to defeat a villain.
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Each villain has their own deck, which acts as a rudimentary AI. Before the heroes get their turn, they flip over the top card of the villain deck and do whatever the card says. Villain cards are often extremely powerful, and can seriously screw over the heroes’ efforts.
In addition to heroes and villains, each game of Sentinels has an Environment. This is a third type of deck that works similarly to the villain deck, but tends to be neutral: I.E. it helps or hurts both the heroes and the villain. The environments range from the city of Megalopolis to the far-off planet Dok’Thorath to the town of Silver Gulch in the year 1883 to a far-future post-apocalyptic earth, each with unique mechanics. The turn order goes villain, heroes, environment before repeating until either the villain or all the heroes are defeated.
Flavor:
An AMAZING amount. You might have noticed that Legacy’s cards have quotes on the bottom referencing a comic he was in. Every card in the game has this, and it’s a joy to piece it all together and figure out what happened in the extensive storyline of Sentinel Comics. The game itself also presents an exciting puzzle where you try to figure out how to get past the villain’s defenses before they kill you. Each hero feels unique and interesting, and once you find your favorite, you’re all set. (Mine is Chrono-Ranger, the time-traveling cowboy).
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I do have another particular favorite in terms of flavor, but I... don’t want to mention him. (Too late.) He might show up, and that’s not going to be good for anyone (Hey!) so let’s just move on.
Expansions:
The base game includes ten heroes, four villains, and four environments. This is a pretty good number, but honestly a lot of the most fun heroes arrived in the expansions. I find every new deck to be fun and interesting, so I can blanket-recommend all the expansions, but there’s a lot of them, both big boxes and mini-expansions consisting of a single deck (Like me!), so I’m not going to talk about them individually like before (WHAT?), so let’s just move on to-
No no no no NO! What kind of cop-out is that? You’re just going to tell people that expansions exist and then not explain anything? You make me SICK.
Oh no.
Oh YEAH! That’s right, I’m here to take over this showcase, so why don’t you just sit down in that corner and watch a REAL pro do his job?
Get off my post, Guise.
Not gonna happen! Take this! And this! And some a THESE!
...There we go. Hello, reader! Yep, I’m talking to you, the one reading this now. My name’s Guise, and I’m the best hero in the whole game!
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Ha, I love that picture. ANYWAY, since that idiot couldn’t be bothered to cover the expansions properly, I’ll be doing that for him, just for all of you! Aren’t I the greatest? Well, let’s hop to it!
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Ahhh, good old Rook City. Nice place, if you like giant mutant rats and government corruption. Which I do, because that stuff is totally X-TREEEEEEEEME!!!
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Rook City was originally its own expansion, but the developers released a box that combined it with the next expansion, Infernal Relics! What nice people. Rook City includes two heroes who are almost as X-TREEEEEEEEME!!! as me, as well as two environments and four, count ‘em, FOUR dastardly villains!
Infernal Relics has plenty of spooooooky magic at play, and features another four villains, two environments, and two heroes, one of which is my good friend the Argent Adept! Here, look at this picture of us!
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Ha ha, good times.
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They did it again! Shattered Timelines and Wrath of the Cosmos, all in one box. How can you turn that down? If you like time travel and space adventures, these are gonna be your jam, with a total of four heroes, eight villains, and four environments, two of which are IN SPACE! Everything’s better in SPACE! Here’s a picture of me, IIIIIIINNNNNNNN SPAAAAAAAAAAAACE!
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Oh, and the Shattered Timelines expansion is where that cowboy that the dumb nerd who started this post likes comes from. You know, if you cared. Which you don’t, because you’re cool! Like me! I can tell.
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Vengeance added five new heroes, and introduced the TOTALLY AWESOME team villain variant, where instead of fighting one strong villain, you fight a team of weaker villains! This one can get pretty crazy. The set includes the VENGEFUL FIVE, who you can see on the box, and their decks come with all sorts of bit villains and lackeys to torment the heroes! I took a picture with my nemesis, Argentium!
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Whooo, that was one tough customer! Luckily, I got him to chill out. Get it? Chill out? Because I froze him, ha ha! I’m hilarious. And awesome!
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And then they did more team villains! Villains of the Multiverse has ten new villains for the team mode, four environments, and NO HEROES AT ALL! Well, lucky thing you can still use the ones from the other expansions, hey? I took a picture with a villain to commemorate this one too, but I can’t seem to find it...
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Oh, there it is!
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And the last major expansion is... OblivAeon! (Dun dun DUUUUUUUUN!) This one adds five heroes (formerly villains! Oooh, exciting!), five environments, and OBLIVAEON himself, with a new game mode centered around fighting him! Not to mention, you get to see ME take center stage as the big hero that saves the multiverse!
(Uh, not really, it was mostly Luminary who-)
Hey, quiet! Don’t go badmouthing me in front of my adoring fans!
Anyway, I’d love to show you my cool new form in this expansion, but that might be a liiiiitle spoiler-y, so I’ll just say I look like THIS, but WAY sexier!
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Well, those are all the big expansions, but we’re not done yet! There’s a bunch of mini-expansions, little individual decks you can buy to add one hero, villain, or environment to the game. I’d cover them all, but there’s really only one you need...
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That’s right, ME! Hell, you don’t even need the other big expansions when I’m so much better! Not only do you get my awesome character card, you get all the cards I’ve shown you from my deck, as well as the best card ever! No, really, that’s what it’s called!
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I mean, come on! You don’t even need the base game! Just buy me, and you’ll have the best part of Sentinels of the Multiverse, all for the low low price of- hey, get off me! Ow! Stop that! HEY!
All right, that’s ENOUGH. Get OUT of my house.
...Whew, he’s finally gone. All right, let’s get on with things.
Replayability:
Sentinels is pretty darn replayable. You’re almost never going to get the same experience, even if you pick the exact same heroes, environment, and villain. If you have all the expansions, you not only get over 60 heroes and 45 villains, but you can get Variants, which replace all the hero cards (and some villains!) with new versions of the characters that have different powers. I’ve never played a game of Sentinels and felt like I’d seen it before. In addition, you can play it alone, so if you can’t have friends over regularly it’s still a good purchase.
Criticisms:
It runs into a similar problem to Cosmic Encounter where the game is SO spread out over so many expansions that the full experience ends up being an expensive and space-consuming prospect. It’s also a very fiddly game, with tons of counters and cards, so it can be a chore to play some of the more complicated characters. Both of these problems have solutions, however.
Availability:
Sentinels is still being sold, as far as I’m aware. It’s also totally available as a mod on Tabletop Sim, although this doesn’t fix the problem with fiddly counters and running out of space for cards, and in fact makes it worse. But there’s another option.
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Sentinels of the Multiverse: The Video Game is an official online version of the card game. It includes every expansion as dlc, heavily marked down from its price as a physical item, and takes care of all the tedious bookkeeping for you. It also lets you earn the variant cards by doing challenges in-game, which is super fun, although you don’t HAVE to to unlock them that way. There are weekly challenge games that pit a certain team against a specific villain and environment, which often act as a cool little puzzle, (and you get to hear my amazing voice!) Shut up, Guise. I very occasionally stream games of SotM on my twitch channel, so if there’s enough interest I can show off more of the game. In general, I recommend the video game even if you already own the board game: it’s really well-done and fun to play.
Creators:
This is kind of a special segment. I normally don’t talk about the creators of these games, because they’re usually irrelevant to the final product. However, artist Adam Rebottaro and writer Christopher Badell are incredibly active in the community around their own game, and they have a podcast where they talk about the lore of the game and answer viewer questions about the characters and universe.
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It’s a ton of fun, they’re really engaging and you can feel their creativity and love for comics radiating from their voices whenever they talk. They’re super funny, too.
(And if you want more of ME- ah, what am I saying, of course you do! - you can tune in to this episode right here, where I make a special guest appearance to talk about myself!)
Get OUT, Guise!
Ugh, what a pain. Anyway...
Conclusion:
I know superhero stuff is kind of over-saturated right now, but even if you’re sick of superheroes - give Sentinels a try. It’s a celebration of comics more than superheroes in particular, and despite taking a lot of cues from existing superheroes, everything about Sentinels is fresh and fun. It’s one of my favorite co-op games ever, and its story is so well-told that I genuinely feel like I need to go read the comics, which I remind you don’t exist. Sentinels of the Multiverse is brilliant and just plain FUN.
Seriously, go play it, and make sure to use all my cards!
Didn’t I tell you to get out of my house?
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the-kipsabian · 5 years
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9, 11, 13 and 17 headcanons for Asagao!Mads??
General physical contact headcanonhonestly mads isnt. the biggest fan of physical contact with people? especially if its with someone she doesnt know too well, or she has to participate in any kind of ‘trust’ experiment cause she just. doesnt tbh lolbut if youre friends with her? you get a shit ton of hugs. she’ll hung up on your arm, hold hands while you walk, high fives are a thing she also enjoys very much tbh. PIGGYBACK RIDES. ..which she ofc cant really give to anyone cause shes a smol, but if she asks you for one you better be sure that shes very comfortable around you and likes you a lot oops
Wardrobe headcanonALRIGHTALRIGHTALRIGHTALRIGHT. so first of all, pajama pants and shorts all day long. if its cold, its usually pajama pants, if its warmer its shorts and knee high socks. and she has waaaaay too many pair of knee high socks. in multiple designs, including but not limited to legend of zilda, space themed, foxes, rainbow striped, multiple single colored ones that she just wears mixing and matching cause thats just how she rolls. shorts come in both jean style for warm days and as sleepwear, for colder days its skinny jeans in any different colors you can think of (spoilers her favorite pair is blue skinny jeans that make her butt look just gr8). skirts dont really exist in her wardrobe outside of the school uniform tbhand thEN. NERD SHIRTS. literally take any piece of media that she likes, and she probably has a shirt of it. legend of zilda? check. animal intersection? check. nokemon? DOUBLE CHECK. and so forth. like she has at least one shirt for every game, show, movie, musical artist, what have you that she enjoys(and she doesnt really have a lot of them personally, but she likes to steal them from the bois and they end up in her closet that way, but oversized hoodies. and just in general oversized boyfriend’s shirts cause thats her jam tbh)
Nickname headcanonmads is. really bad at nicknames lol. if she gives you a nickname, its usually just some really easy twist from your actual name. shes much more used to calling people by their actual names and just saying them really weirdly (think like stretching or putting emphasis on certain letters, or just in general. yelling their name out loud whenever she sees them lol), unless people have a nickname someone else/they themselves are already using. like she’ll call jimmy jimbo cause everyone else does that, for example
Soft spot headcanontheres three really easy ways into her heart tbh1. cats. bright her a stray or give her anything with a cat print (this also works with foxes tho!), and shes probably gonna cry cause she loves you so much for that2. chocolate. anything with chocolate. you bring that to her, shes also probably gonna cry3. literally anything you can say about her writing. SHE WILL CRY. it doesnt matter what it is, if its as much as you say that you’d like to read it, she will cry cause its just really important to heralso im high key super sure im interpreting this wrong but i dont care i wanna share these ways to make mads cry either way LOL
send me character headcanons!
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graciecatfamilyband · 6 years
Text
Leia, Princess of Alderaaan Review*
*Really just a mixture of my thoughts/impressions/feelings. Way too long. 
Note: So, after almost a year of “defending” certain choices made in Leia, Princess of Alderaan by Claudia Gray, I decided to actually read the darn thing. It might surprise people to hear I hadn’t yet, since in some ways I was a very vocal “supporter.” The truth is, I usually don’t enjoy Star Wars books very much, and prefer whatever I or my fellow fans make up instead, so I was never particularly interested. When the “controversy” hit, I never “defended” it out of any attachment to the book or its author, but out of a belief that most of the storytelling choices that were decried as out-of-character were actually legitimate possibilities for Leia’s history either in this book or in fanfiction stories, regardless of whether or not they were a part of anyone’s personal canon. It was entirely possible that LPOA itself was out-of-character trash. Based on the excerpts and summaries and spoilers I’d read to engage with the criticisms of it, it did not seem to me that it was- but I hadn’t read it, so I couldn’t definitively say. If it were trash, though, the fact that Leia speaks to people her own age or had a boyfriend (also her own age) weren’t to me among the reasons why. And that in particular is what I was so vocal about.  
Finally, however, I figured if I was gonna go down in fandom history as one of the people who “supported” LPOA, I might as well actually read it and find out whether or not I actually liked it.
I’m so glad I did. I liked it *immensely.* Far beyond what I would have thought.
Here’s the TL;DR version, and then I’ll post a more detailed gushing review under the cut. Spoilers included. 
1. It is as much a political thriller as it was a coming of age novel. Which is exactly my jam. 🙏🏻 I knew every major plot point going into it, and it still somehow left me dying to know what would happen next. Sure, it’s written at a “young adult” level so it’s not incredibly “advanced” as a “political thriller” goes- but it got the job done much better than I thought it could have. (And for a YA political thriller, I think it is actually incredibly advanced.) I had SO MUCH FUN reading it. SO MUCH. 
2. It was practically perfect as a “prequel”. It managed to do its own thing without “stepping“ on the original trilogy at all. The backstory for Leia is good, plausible, in-character, and manages to allow her to grow (essential for a coming-of-age novel) while leaving tons of room for the character growth we see in the OT. It inevitably won’t be everyone’s personal backstory for Leia, and that’s okay. But I couldn’t find anything that wasn’t a legitimate, sensible possibility. 
3. It captured this stage of Leia’s development so well, which it turns out is something that’s really important to me. 
Leia was to me the perfect balance of intelligent/well-educated/innovative/tenacious and still learning the ropes as a political player. Navigating a tyrannical government and wrestling with how to respond in a way that is likely to be effective is something almost every character in this book wrestles with (save characters like Tarkin), and Leia engages with it on a level that is sophisticated even though it’s also age-appropriate. I knew a couple more things than the Leia of this book, but that’s understandable- I am much older than she is in this book, and if she knew everything already, there would be no development, no story, and indeed, there would have been no childhood for her. She is coming out of childhood in this book and learning as much as she can, and it’s just so…. appropriate, believable, wonderful. And she’s no fool; she knows a LOT, she was well and duly educated in her childhood, and she pieces together things very quickly. (I must say, she’s also much braver and more ballsy than I, which is also in-character.) 
I also loved the way the book handled the changing attachment/relationship to one’s parents and the anxiety and distress that comes with that (especially when one has had a close relationship to one’s parents) in adolescence. I loved how that resolves as both the young adult and their parents learn to have a new, more adult-to-adult relationship. (It also fit my headcanon of the Organas being a loving and close-knit family, which I deeply enjoyed.) 
I love how the book allowed Leia to start building much closer relationships with same-age peers, and that this was both a part of her learning to separate from her parents and define herself (not to become the same as any of her peers but to learn from them and accept certain ideas and reject others) as well as a part of her laying the foundations for the coming civil war (after all, they are going to need as many allies as they can get). 
This is probably my favorite thing about it, because I am a nerd interested in and care about adolescent development. I don’t think I’ve ever read a Star Wars book that cared as much about character, character development and growth, and psychological motivations, which is why I enjoyed it so thoroughly, especially as compared to other SW books.
5. I could not recommend it more highly. 
Spoiler-y unnecessary ramblings under the cut. 
More Things I Loved About It 
Leia loves storms. YAS.
We get to see Leia spearheading her first (legitimate) diplomatic missions!!!! And doing things on her own for the first time as an Apprentice Legislator (rather than simply as her father’s intern)!!!! And learning to exercise leadership with people who’ve known her since she was a kid! And fucking up in very understandable ways- ways that don’t infantalize her, but are normal for a young politician learning to navigate her way through this political terrain with limited information, and sometimes in ways that still trip up seasoned politicians because they are literally traps laid by the Empire. We need to see Leia make mistakes in a book like this / in any story of her adolescence, and to learn from them- and they need to be mistakes that don’t take away from her overall competence or character. This book does that very well. 
I loved reading about the ways Leia attempted to learn all her parents knew and to help them in their respective positions throughout her childhood. I love that Leia interned for her dad for several years in the Imperial Senate by this point! 😍😍😍 And all the little “her dad always told her”, “her mom always said” moments in this book are just beautiful and very in-character for both Bail and Breha. I love that as Princess of Alderaan and as a member of the Organa family, Leia has always looked to them for guidance on how to rule, who to be, what skills she needs, etc. and worked hard at those things. That all seemed very in-character to me. 
I love the familial and parent relationships, period. I’ve already said how much I adored the way this book represented the push-pull of the parent-adolescent relationship, and how much I love that this book nevertheless gives her loving familial relationships as her foundation. It was so wonderful to read these little moments of the Organa family, both when they were struggling and when they were finding more common ground. These relationships were also very “3D” to me, human, what I personally would “ideally” want for Leia without being “too” ideal or unreal. I didn’t know how much I needed to ready more of the Organa family all together until I read this book.
I love that this book was able to make me angry at Bail Organa (my bae 💚)- sometimes quite repeatedly- without making him out-of-character or an ass; that’s not easy to do. It was clear he had his own character struggle work through, and as difficult as that was for me as a Bail fan, it seemed in-character to me, came from a place of deep love, added layers to him, and made the intimate moments between him and Leia and the resolution between them that much more satisfying. 
Breha Organa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 💜🙏🏻😍🙌🏻👑🙌🏻😍🙏🏻💛💜 What a queen, what a leader, what a mother. I loved watching her differ in her opinions from Bail, and handling some of the differences between them including how to approach the Rebellion, and their daughter. I found it interesting and unexpected that she accepted the reality that the Rebellion would eventually mean civil war sooner than Bail did, but in a way that worked very well.  
Bail and Breha’s marriage. It’s so wonderful that they have such a beautiful partnership, in which they can wrestle with difficult questions, and disagree, and even need space from each other, and yet always come back to each other and support each other in their endeavors (and enjoy a bit of romance too). It’s exactly what I’ve always wanted and headcanoned between them. 
I thought it might be distracting to me that Bail and Breha and Alderaan might vary in small ways from the ways that I have headcanoned them. For example, the pulmonodes thing is kind of aesthetically cool, and it is nice to see someone in the GFFA with some robotic/mechanical parts who is described as the opposite of evil/ the embodiment of warmth, but is a major departure from how I’ve seen Breha for years, and that kind of thing is always a struggle for me. But it turns out it’s much more difficult for me to engage with when it’s an abstract post on Tumblr. In the book, it didn’t bother me almost at all? It was subtly and well-integrated, and the character was so well-done, that it didn’t matter that’s not how I had seen Breha and is not (as of now) part of my personal headcanon. 
 Candlewick flowers 🕯🌹 are such a gorgeous addition to the GFFA.
I think it’s great that there was a process for Leia declaring her intention to pursue the throne and at minimum a very challenging ceremonial way she had to earn it, even if it’s not the way I would have chosen. 
I’m going to go ahead and say on Alderaan they have basic guaranteed income. 👌🏻
It was so good to see the Captain Antilles of the Tantive IV and spend time on Alderaan itself (sad as it is too 😪). Like so many of the characters, I liked him and I’m incredibly sorry he’s dead within the first few minutes of ANH.
Lieutenant Res Batton is a treasure. 
Queen Dalné of Naboo is a character I’d actually love to see appear in later stories (including fics) that occur during the OT or afterward. Do she and Leia meet again? In what context? What is that like??? Although her reign has probably ended by then, Dalné help with the Rebellion in any way or with the rebuilding that comes after the Empire’s fall? I like the way they connected in this book, and I’d love for her and Leia to become friends. 
I had mixed feelings about Amilyn Holdo, but I appreciate that the inclusion of a female character who could be a peer to Leia and that she ultimately ended up being an important and foundational relationship both personally and “professionally.” @otterandterrier summed the good qualities of her character up to me nicely, saying, “I do appreciate [Amilyn] becomes closer to Leia, is a person who will inform her to not be set on her first impressions of people, and by TLJ is a long-time friend her age, rather than thinking all her childhood friends died.” Agreed. 
Mon Mothma 😍 🙌🏻. This book cemented Mon as a new fave of mine. Great to see her be such a positive and wise mentor to Leia, and to see her be able to see things that her parents (especially Bail) cannot yet. 
The cameos worked beautifully without being “too much.” Threepio’s was excellent, but Artoo’s was even better. Also, I was incredibly skeptical at the fact that there was a Millennium Falcon cameo, but it worked just perfectly. They succeeded at making the reader feel clever and “in on” it, which is 👌🏻. 
Thank the Alderaanian goddess that the romance was a side-plot and not the focus! 🙌🏻 It was great to see Leia have a book that allowed her to have so many different sides, and that her romance was one of those sides but not the exclusive or even the most important focus. The book could have survived without it, but Leia’s relationship seemed to me to add to the narrative rather than take away from it. 
It was such a great first romance, from a writing and story-telling standpoint. It absolutely did not threaten to overshadow the major romance of Leia’s life that most readers are so invested in, which is essential in a prequel story like this, but it was also a good experience for Leia even if it ended so sadly. I really like that the relationship was good and meaningful at the time, but it was also clearly not a relationship with longevity. This post on why Kier works so well as first love is a very good one. I also just really genuinely liked Kier as a character, even if ultimately I disagreed with him and of course don’t want him to end up with Leia “forever.” 
The Chalhuddan storyline was 😍😍😍. I loved that they insist that Leia require something of them before accepting her mercy mission donation and calling out her “wealthy saviorism.” I love that she exercises good diplomatic judgment in how she handles that, and that it ultimately turns into the beginning of a potentially lasting political alliance between her and them. Again, I just love the political elements of this book in general, and this was 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻. I’d love to see them again in fic or wherever. 
I had a list of things that I did not like. I’ve already spoken about some of these in other posts. But honestly, this book gets so much vitriol hurled at it, and I loved it so much, that I just don’t want to include those things at this time. 
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ais-n · 6 years
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(2) So when did Boyd figure out E actually loved him? Not that E was ever hard to figure out with that. Even Viv knew. Also when did Boyd start to care about E to that extent? Just now thought of that. I'm glad he does but it seemed like quite the leap from before or was it a gradual thing as I'm suspecting? I just cant see Boyd caring for E in Interludes like he does in Fade lol Still love it though! I love Boyd
SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS FOR ICOS! :D
2 - answer continued from last ask - I put this one behind a cut because I wrote a lot and it ended up having more specific spoilers.
Regarding Boyd caring, he started to give a shit surprisingly early on, but really started actually caring more in Interludes, but like, more toward the end of it. In Afterimage, there’s that whole scene where E shows up at Boyd’s house and Boyd’s like FUCK OFF ASSHOLE GET OUT at first, but E ignores him and they start talking. There’s a part there where Boyd realizes E = LMC, and since LMC was pretty arrogant but actually helpful, Boyd immediately re-evaluated what he thought of E. He had gone into the idea of E loathing him because of what E had done to Hsin, but realizing E was also LMC meant he couldn’t all be bad. And since being LMC without saying HEYOO GUESS WHO I AM? :D despite seeing Hsin all that time, made him both kind of an asshole, but also mostly a big fucking dorkball in Boyd’s mind. And so he was like -- ”jfc, if you’re THAT fucking awkward about emotions, then yeah, I can translate you by using my Hsin Translation Skills.”
Early Interludes, Boyd still wasn’t sure exactly what he thought about E but he realized pretty much right away that E really cares about Hsin. Loves him, in fact. And Boyd recognized that E was even worse than Hsin when it came to the idea of love or positive emotions... Hsin was awkward about it and wouldn’t really talk about shit, but his actions said a lot for what he was thinking. E was even more awkward, to the point that he tended to profess loudly all this shit that Boyd read right through and recognized often was the opposite of how he felt.
So pretty early on, Boyd gets E, and reads him pretty well. But he’s also kind of like *eyeroll* in most of Interludes because E’s so extra about everything. But Boyd also knew E could be relied upon to get shit done if it was sketchy or illegal and had to do with Hsin, so he kept him in mind. Also, Boyd didn’t want to make Hsin uncomfortable. He knew Hsin was kind of mad that everyone ended up loooooving E no matter what, despite Hsin being like BUT HE’S SUCH AN ASSHOLE WHY. Boyd didn’t want Hsin thinking Boyd liked E because of the mask he put on, because that mask was not Boyd’s jam at all and he would actually hate E if he was only like that. The reason Boyd liked E was because he saw so much Hsin in him, and so he thought maybe he could help E and Hsin reconnect, if they needed it. He kind of felt like they just both needed their words and actions translated to each other, because they were both such morons when it came to love. But E was way more of a moron than Hsin. 
But, knowing that it upset Hsin (because at one point in Interludes maybe? or late Afterimage? Hsin basically tells Boyd it kind of frustrates/annoys him that even Boyd was sort of defending E), Boyd tried not talking about E too much around Hsin except where it made sense. And it’s not like E and Boyd hung out much so most of the time, it wasn’t really something where it mattered that much what Boyd thought about him.
But yeah, Boyd had actually kind of liked E from that moment he first talked to him as E. It’s just that if you read that scene, he went into it HATING E because he thought he was the lowest human being on the planet for what he did to Hsin, until he learned he was LMC and then he did an immediate about-face and reassessed his feelings. I forget how much made it on page there, but that’s basically what was happening internally. 
It’s not like in that scene he immediately loved E, it’s just that he immediately went, “Wait, maybe I owe him a chance to prove himself” and so he shoved his biases aside and spent most of Interludes kind of observing his behavior and determining what he felt about it. But pretty much right away he got that E is a dork. In Interludes - Masquerade or whatever it’s called where E and Boyd train, even there Boyd’s already seeing through E’s bullshit, and being like “yeah, yeah, you’re like a 2 year old who can’t say what he really wants to say because he’s too embarrassed. i’ll just react to you based on what you’re REALLY saying, not what’s coming out of your mouth.”
So generally speaking it was mostly gradual, except for his initial reassessment in his home back in Afterimage, where he did a total 180 on his willingness to listen to E’s side of anything in that single scene, based primarily on the knowledge that E = LMC. Because LMC had been a pretty decent dude who Boyd had felt like he could trust, for some reason, so E had banked up a decent amount of goodwill in Boyd as LMC. I mean, LMC was still fucked up, but he had saved Hsin’s life, and despite fucking with them he had also helped them, so Boyd’s overall review of LMC had been relatively positive. (I can’t remember if he knew back then - or ever - about E being involved in the whole attack on the compound thing, though. That would’ve brought his feelings back toward the negative. I feel like Boyd didn’t learn E was involved in that until way later??? Been too long, I forget.)
Ok so anyway back to the original question - all that above answers that question up until Fade.
The reason why, by those scenes in Fade, Boyd seems to care more about E in general, and specifically even more than his own mother, is because of all the shit that happened between Interludes and Fade.
Boyd felt betrayed by both his mother and the Agency. He was incredibly fucked up mentally and emotionally, and losing Hsin was the most devastating blow that could have happened. Carhart didn’t seem super sympathetic to Boyd and as I mentioned in another ask, Boyd’s belief that he could inherently trust Carhart with his vulnerability was already shaken in Afterimage when Carhart made it absolutely clear (Boyd felt at the time) that Boyd meant nothing to him compared to Hsin. Kind of a feeling like - if one of you has to die, doesn’t matter which of you made the choices that lead to that ultimatum, either way Boyd should die and Hsin should be saved no matter what, because Hsin is inherently more valuable regardless of anything else. 
It’s not like Boyd hated Carhart or anything but he had felt safer going to E with things emotionally than Carhart because E was jacked up but at least he was a jacked up Boyd could translate. The only translation Boyd knew to do for Carhart was more in line with his mother, which is to say, he saw it like this: Carhart is as honest a person as his mother is. Which means if they tell you they hate you or wish you were dead, they mean it. Not like if E or Hsin tell you they hate you or wish you were dead, at which point they’re actually saying they like you a lot and it annoys them that they feel that human emotion of liking you so they lash out. 
So in early Fade, when Carhart wasn’t very open to Boyd (because he himself was shut down emotionally after everything), Boyd didn’t really have anywhere to go. He was super fucked up and he just needed someone to understand how fucked up he was and not judge him for it -  someone who loved Hsin as much as he did, so would understand. Carhart loved the holy hell out of Hsin, that wasn’t a question. But Carhart’s way of dealing with his loss was kind of being guarded, which was understandable, but not something Boyd could deal with mentally properly at that time. It felt like punishment to Boyd. He needed someone to talk to him, to let him feel like he was in a safe space, and Carhart at that time felt as cold as Viv did in terms of being an open safe space.
So that’s why Boyd goes to see E... first of all, because he’s really hoping that E somehow fixed everything and this is all a lie and etc etc. But also because he knew E wouldn’t lie to him. E wouldn’t shut him out. E would have been as fucked up as Boyd felt, because E had clearly lashed out and gotten himself in trouble. Which meant Boyd felt he could trust E more there. After all, there was nothing Boyd had done or that he felt now that he thought E would judge, since with E’s background, he seemed more likely than anyone to understand.
Hsin was the main bonding agent for Boyd with E in Fade, and that’s why going forward Boyd started trusting and caring about E even more. Not only because E reminded him of Hsin, but because E was the one person Boyd knew loved Hsin as much as he did and who got as fucked up by him being gone as Boyd was.
Also, in that infamous scene with E and Boyd, even though things got all fucked up between them later, in the beginning of that scene, they seek each other out because of overwhelming grief. And when Boyd was super vulnerable in the start of it, when Boyd expected that E with his history of drug abuse would totally let Boyd get into shit without even thinking about it, E stopped him. Even though Boyd was angry about it, E still stopped him. 
And that meant the world to Boyd, especially afterward. That one moment of stopping him without judging or chastising him, of just being like “yeah I get it, I know why you want it, but nope-a-dope, bro, my boy would kill me” showed Boyd more than anything that E cared, but also that E would help him when he was at his lowest. That E wouldn’t try to use him and throw him away or betray him like the Agency had, like he felt his mother had, like he even felt a little like Carhart had. Especially right after the whole Aleixo thing, where he spent so long being hurt by others for their gratification, that gesture of E’s cut through Boyd and showed him that E didn’t want to use and betray him like everyone else. E was fucked up, definitely, but so was Boyd. They may make stupid decisions sometimes, but at least when it came to each other and Hsin, they had good intentions. And for Boyd at that time, that meant the world.
By the time the whole thing with Carhart happened, Boyd was more concerned with E than the others because Boyd felt like Carhart and Viv were similarly built mentally, even though so much about them was SO different and opposite. But it seemed like both of them could use other people who were close to them and then just shut them out and down without warning, seemingly outwardly without any feeling about it, if it benefited them or their careers. Boyd felt that Carhart had done that to Boyd himself more than once, even though other times Carhart had also helped. And it hurt Boyd deeply every time. But Carhart also cared about the Agency, same way Viv did. Because of that, sometimes they were in shitty positions where they didn’t really have a good choice. 
But Boyd knew people like E didn’t really function that way of cutting off emotions suddenly. He knew E loved Carhart, and he knew that love was pretty much the hardest thing for E to acknowledge, and he knew that would make E really vulnerable to Carhart. And with Hsin not around, Boyd probably identified more with E than anyone. He felt like E could have really put a lot of his vulnerability into loving Carhart, believing Carhart to be the trustworthy and stand-up dude Boyd had once blindly thought him to be too, and since Boyd knew for himself how hard it was to trust others with his vulnerability and exactly how much it cut him to the core to have that vulnerability be taken advantage of or used against him, he felt like in the group of E, Carhart, and Viv, E was the one most likely to be hurt. Because E was the least calculating of them. Of the three of them, Boyd assumed E was most like him in that way, and so he was most concerned with E feeling like he was being used and betrayed. And since E was way more unpredictable than Carhart and Viv, Boyd also worried about how crazy E could go if he suddenly decided FUCK IT about everything, since he thought that the main reason E hung around the Agency was for Hsin (now no longer a factor) and Carhart. If Carhart betrayed E, what would happen?
I guess the tl;dr on it all is - Boyd originally liked Carhart because he felt like a kind, safe, genuinely good person to be around... someone who would protect him. He felt like Carhart really cared about him after a point, and that he wanted him to succeed. Basically, Carhart was his father figure. The dad he had now, after his real dad was killed when he was so young. It was something Boyd desperately needed and wanted, and it helped him start to come out of his shell more to feel like someone was there as a parental figure who he could trust not to hurt him the way his mother had so many times. That was why it hurt so much when he felt later like Carhart suddenly turned on him and made it clear Hsin would always be his only REAL son, and Boyd was just like, the annoying neighborhood kid they let into the house to eat their cereal sometimes because it was easier letting him in than not. Boyd may feel welcome in that home, but he wasn’t actually family, and never would be. In the end, he would always be meaningless on any scale including the REAL children. It was a reminder, therefore, that the person who would have loved him above all others like Carhart did for Hsin, was not Carhart but was his dead dad. In other words, Boyd would never have anyone who would care about him and help him and never hurt him, who would be his parental figure, and who would always be there without judgment if he faltered. That person did not exist for Boyd. That person only existed for Hsin.
E was someone who never pretended to care about Boyd at all, let alone more than anyone else. E never made Boyd feel like he could be a father figure, or like he would always be there to back Boyd. E never even pretended to be reliable for Boyd emotionally. E was just there, doing his thing. But because of that, Boyd came to really trust and rely on him, because he knew E wouldn’t lie to him. E wouldn’t convince him it was okay to give him that vulnerable side of himself only to throw it out with the garbage when it wasn’t convenient anymore. E never pretended that Boyd mattered to him as much as Hsin, just so he could later make it clear to Boyd’s face he meant nothing compared to Hsin. E simply acted like Boyd was just some weirdo kid fucking his son, and they got along surprisingly well and could talk about whatever because they didn’t really care if they offended each other. And so Boyd trusted him more, because E would never be able to hurt Boyd as severely as Carhart or Viv could and had. Sort of like how Boyd had come to trust going to Kassian with certain things at one point because it didn’t matter what Kassian thought of him at that time, not the way it mattered to Boyd at the time what Hsin thought.
For Boyd, he’s just very guarded with certain things because he’s been burned too many times. And so, for him, he trusts people the most when they don’t lie to him, or when their honesty isn’t telling him he’s worthless or meaningful only at the convenience of someone else. In Fade, those feelings were even stronger. In Evenfall, he still believed in people more, and it was that willingness to eventually take a chance on trusting others that got him burned at different points, and by Fade made him realize people could be good people or predictable people and that’s fine, but if they didn’t want to prioritize him in any way then they were most likely going to make a choice at some point that would devastate him because they were placing other values higher than him. Which didn’t make them inherently bad, or anything. 
It was just that by then, Boyd was tired of being collateral damage. He had been that pretty much his whole life, and he no longer wanted to bear his heart to people who couldn’t be trusted with it.
That’s why E felt like the safer person for him, and why he ultimately was more worried about E than anyone. E never really said or acted like, “You, Boyd Beaulieu, you matter to me” and so Boyd felt like it wouldn’t rip him apart if E would ever later suddenly decide to make it clear Boyd didn’t matter at all. And by that point, E was the last person Boyd had who totally got why Boyd was so completely fucked in the head and who loved Hsin as much as he did. Which meant E understood how those two factors could sometimes overlap in really jacked up ways.
I feel like I took a million words to say the same thing over and over in varying ways. Sorry about that -_- I just find it so hard to explain because some things probably feel a bit contradictory between what’s seen of characters on the surface by other characters vs the way Boyd internalizes and interprets things. Carhart and E are a perfect example of that, because Evenfall Boyd trusted Carhart SO MUCH and really liked him and cared about him, and hated E from the stories he’d been told. But Fade Boyd felt like Carhart could turn on him at any second but not do it to be a dick, just do it because he wouldn’t realize or necessarily care about the impact it might have on Boyd because Boyd didn’t really matter to him except in very specific circumstances, all of which were based on what was convenient for Carhart and not what was needed emotionally by Boyd. And E, meanwhile, was more reliable to Fade Boyd because E didn’t lie to him by pretending he cared about him in the first place, so if E suddenly turned on him it wouldn’t really hurt or even feel like a betrayal.
I guess the even more tl;dr way of saying all of that is in Evenfall, Boyd didn’t have high hopes of anyone and expected people to ignore him but he still believed in the possibilities of others, and in Fade, Boyd expected people to use and betray him and then act like he was at fault for reacting to that.
I’m probably just making everything way ++++++ more confusing by now so I’ll stop.... jfc -_-
btw it was probably clear because I tried to word it this way, but everything in this post is based on how Boyd saw things and how Boyd interpreted things, regardless of how the other characters saw their own actions or intended them to be interpreted.
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