#does he ever get tired of this

[reineydraws]

kyojuro corruption arc

#kny #kny fanart #mugen train #akaza #kny akaza #rengoku kyojuro #renkaza #akaren #demon slayer #demon slayer fanart #comic #kny comic #incorrect kny #nah obviously kyo would never get tired of being nice #what he DOES get tired of is expectations though!!!!! #he doesnt even realize he's tired!!!! it's just that one day it hits him that he only ever feels comfortable to be TRULY himself #around the demon that almost killed him. why? bc he lets himself be mean and ugly to akaza--why should a demon deserve his courtesy? #doesnt even realize he's baring his vulnerabilities with all the hateful emotions he directs toward akaza #and the way akaza actually reciprocates with baring his own vulnerabilities too #until one day he realizes he's *waiting* for akaza and that he'd *miss* akaza if he didnt show. #so where does that leave him but in love with a demon? 😔 ohh temptation

[turtleblogatlast]

Mikey and Leo episode centered around Mikey wanting to push Leo and Draxum together since Leo’s the most reluctant to give Draxum any grace (for good reason!) But, thinking on the spot, Leo says he’s gotta go do something for Hueso and “just can’t hang out right now 😔” (yes, he says the emoji out loud.)

Mikey calls his bluff and now the three of them (Mikey having grabbed a weary Draxum along) go to Hueso’s to find that yes, he actually does have a job for him. Said job asks for Leo to go with Hueso to deliver multiple pizzas to this giant yokai quite a distance away, and Hueso figured it would probably go better with Leo’s help (emphasis on probably.)

Well, Mikey decides that this would be a great bonding opportunity for them and basically invites he and Draxum along. Unfortunately for Leo, Hueso doesn’t care enough to wave away more help, though he does side-eye the wanted criminal Baron Draxum coming with them. But who is he to judge? (This choice has consequences.)

The journey goes about as terribly as you’d expect, but at least the pizzas get delivered on time.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt leo #rottmnt draxum #rottmnt hueso #listen you don’t understand #imagine mikey trying to get leo to accept draxum as a father figure only for this to push leo to purposefully turn to Hueso instead #idk I love when this accidental flaw of Mikey’s is explored and I think it meshes well with Leo’s own AND fits nicely with their dynamic #100% this ends with Leo & Hueso bonding and Mikey & Draxum bonding and Mikey & Leo bonding and even Hueso & Mikey a bit #but notably only a little Draxum & Leo - because it’s important that Leo isn’t forced to accept him imo #Leo realizing during all his denials of Draxum that oh you know who he DOES think of as family? Hueso #Draxum is trying mainly for Mikey’s sake #Hueso is too tired to care about all this family drama but is reluctantly worried about Pepino #Mikey just wants one big happy family because - that’s just easier y’know? #he tries so hard to work with everyone’s emotions that he just wants things to be easy for once #he wants love and family to be easier than it is - than has BEEN lately #gimme that heart to heart Mikey & Leo moment in this regard #by the end Leo DOES raise Draxum up a bit from ‘complete distrust’ to ‘mild side-eye’ #but it’s a long ways off if he ever gets pushed into the family tier #and also #SO MUCH SLAPSTICK COMEDY and sarcastic comedy in this episode fr #and if you’re wondering- #yes they DO fight the Yokai monster they’re delivering the pizzas to #but they get paid so it’s whatever #kinda wanna attempt to copy the style of the show and make fake screenshots of this ‘episode’ ngl

[bloodiegawz]

the ordeal of waking up

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst silver #gawzdrawz #how tired do you think this guy is #literally the strongest man ever #it has to be like. terrifying #right ? #he gets so much sleep against his will #doing so much training and exertion #even though his brain and body must be absolutely miserable #not to mention it doesnt even seem like he notices when he falls asleep #forced to trust someone will wake him up #and that when he does he'll be in the same place

[luck-of-the-drawings]

smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.

#jrwi show #jrwi fanart #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #made this within a short span of wahtever bc i gotta go up to the mountains for my stupid gay job tonight n im trying #nnot to frrRREAAAK THE FUCK OUUTTTTTTi dont wanna work but. get that bread we fuckin shall i guess #ONWARDS TO THE FISH TORMENT!! sometimes flowers feel pain when you trim them before their blossoming. atleast i imagine so #i used to draw gillion with loooong hair tied into a big ol braid. and then it was confirmed that he had short hair when he was little. #AT FIRST I WAS SAD. but then i realized the duality of. when they were little. gill had short hair. edyn had long hair. #AND NOW THEYRE OLDER. and gillion has long hair. and edyn has short hair #both mirroring eachother. looking up to eachother. subconsciously or not. they most certainly care. and most certainly miss eachother. #GILLION ALWAYS LOVED HOW LONG HAIR LOOKs. atleast i imagine so. he hasnt cut it since he left the undersea. sure he wanted to go back home #but even at the very start. he knew he was free in some way now. free to grow out his hair. an adventure would await him before he returns. #he knew it would be a while. so he cant let this go. he cant let this sought-after hair-length get cut away from him again #not yet. not yet. i like to think he loved music too. I SAW SOMETHING INTERESTING A BIT AGO #i see alot of ppl commenting on my baby gill comics like;'i wouldFIGHT this teacher i wanna KILL EM i want them DESTROYED #all very good and nice sentiments! i LOVE the energy here! and it would be nice. to have that catharsis #but the story of young tidestrider is not a story of catharsis. it is a story of agony and being so so small and so special and also so dum #and sucking so bad. and just being a kid and doing the things that a little kid does and so many tired tired people reacting badly to it #youre supposed to be the hero that will save us. our world hangs in the balance and you are the one who tips the scales. #YOU are supposed to SAVE US!! you NEED to SAVE US! CAN YOU PLEASE STOP SQUIRMING IN YOUR STUPID CHAIR!! #you'd think that young tidestrider ought to prevail. and be tucked someplace all safe and sound. #elders gone missing and rotting in a jail. their cultists nowhere around. but theres no happy endings. not here not now. #this tale is all sorrows n woes. you may dream that justice n peace win the day. but thats not how this story goes #BIG ideas for this lil baby gillion series. if anything i make ever gets disproven im killing myself in a well as to poison a water supply

[bugsbenefit]

all i'll say about Noah's video is that i think it's weird people are calling it a "bad apology", because it's not even an apology video. the only thing he says is that his opinions have been misconstrued and that he doesn't want people to die, which, yeah, he already said before. there's no sorry, from the video alone you wouldn't even know if he's aware of what he did that made people turn on him so fast in the first place

i know the norm nowadays is to call any response to an issue/a situation an "apology" but sometimes it's just a statement, which is what this is. if he was genuinely "apologizing" he'd have to address the actual things he did, like keep misinformation up, even after it's been disproven and worst of all the "zionism is sexy" thing. what he's doing is just cautious backpeddling by saying everyone got him wrong. just a pretty obvious pr nothing-statement sadly

#seen some people say to watch his 'apology' and just... why are you calling it that #he only doubles down on not wanting anyone to die which is something he's already said before #i didn't expect him to actually reflect and do a 180 in a few months so i'm not surprised #if he ever does change his mind i'd expect it to take a few years at least #but well... just seems like a damage control press statement he's making because of ST production starting up again #my opinion on it in case you're curious #but also obligatory holy shit it's tiring to see people immediately jump to wishing death and disgusting things on him and his family #unproductive as hell #posting online about how much you want a celebrity with a shit moral complex to get hit by a car or something is Still not activism #shockingly #so nothing's changed essentially #that 1 minute video really did nothing who would have thought

[clowningaroundmars]

my absolute fave thing to read in punkflower fics is lovesick puppy hobie brown

cool-as-a-cucumber hobie overthinking miles' every move, leaving lingering touches on him, longing glances thrown his way

certified BAMF hobie hanging by a doorway or window just a second too long before leaving miles

"skinny-hot" hobie refusing to believe someone as ✨️cool✨️ as miles would be into someone like him

badass punk hobie just yearning and pining and practically draping himself all over miles in desperate attempts but then pulling back all scared when anyone even hints that they should get together

god, i need pining lovesick loser hobie like AIR rn 😭

#mine #punkflower #spiderverse #can yall tell i am Not Normal rn #COOL HOT BADASS FUNNY HOBIE JUST!! *clenches fist* JUST!!! just fuckin swooning #like a victorian lady whenever miles does Anything #i mean do yall SEE the way he pays attention to and looks at miles in the movie? #i am unwell. i will never be able to emotionally recover from this #just... god. i love it #hobie brown spider punk just trailing after miles #joking with him and wrapping him up in all of the clothes he can manage to bring #practically screaming silently for miles' attention at every moment #showing off a lil bit when theyre swinging #dont get me wrong hobie is a very very cool guy. when miles isnt there #miles: shows up #hobie: immediately turns into the worlds biggest clumsiest clown to ever exist #miles: smiles #hobie: crashes into 2 walls a telephone pole and falls over a fence #bonus points if miles literally has zero clue the entire time #bc like obviously miles KNOWS hobie is ridiculously hot. this is canon #but SURELY someone like hobie has nooooo interest in him whatsoEVER right guys? …right? ahaha #IDIOTS the both of them #idiots in love #this is a trope i will never tire of ever #also the skinny-hot comment is a reference to the official atsv script #LOOK IT UP IF YOU HAVENT ALREADY #it is filled to brim with homosexuality and plenty of funny ass lines of miles being jealous #but miles my boy. my baby boy #look at me #you need not be jealous of hobie. YOURE the one in the middle of the love triangle NOT GWEN

[flowercrowngods]

i don't know how to be merely acquaintances when we used to be friends. or i think we used to be. i don't know how to yearn for a simple hello when you've been heaping your affection on me months ago, and i don't know how to talk to you when you won't say anything. when suddenly it's all about me. you know i have nothing to say, you know my brain is void of everything but horribleness and i cannot tell you about my day because i don't even know about my day. i cannot tell you about my day when i know you won't listen, when i know you'll apply your philosophy to my world and don't believe me when i say that everything is terrible. i don't know how to be the person you seem to think i am, or the person you want in your life. i don't know if you want anyone else in your life now that you're in love and sappy, found another recipient for your affections, leaving me empty and wounded and yearning.

you said you missed me. said it many times, while i was gone. now i'm back, have been back, and i wonder how you missed me, why you missed me, when you won't talk to me. i think you mistook missing for worrying. i think you mistook caring for a feeling of obligation. i think you like missing me more than talking to me.

and i think i can't breathe with how much that hurts

#how do you miss me when you won't talk to me? how do you like me so much and then go to just. not? #how did i let you in when i try so hard not to let people do that because i know that once they get past the walls all i'll be left with #is the idea of them rotting and withering inside me. polluting the space i create to keep myself safe. #why does everyone leave? leave in silence too. leaving behind so many questions and so many words engraved in my brain #i am so tired of *grieving* when those i grieve are still alive and well and thriving and i'm reminded that it's versions of myself #that i'm grieving instead. how do you grieve yourself? how do you not fucking fall apart over it? #just. fucking talk to me. don't make it be true that all i'll ever be is nothingness and the memory of someone you liked once #but never never never liked enough #i'm so so cold already. i'm a shell. i want to be warm again but it always leaves me so hollow and hurting #i grieve the dio who was warm. i grieve them i miss them i am so so angry that he had to leave. to hide. with no way out #i'm happy for you. i'm happy you're happy. but you're no better than anyone else and it makes me want to run away again #but i have nowhere else to run and no one else to be. and it's so fucked that it doesn't matter who i am i'll never be enough #for someone to just. stay. to see me and to stay. to hear me and to sit and listen and just. just fucking stay. #maybe i'm not worth staying for. maybe there's nothing to know nothing to hear nothing to see nothing to listen to nothing to find #maybe all i'll ever get is one/two good months paid for with a lifetime of grief. and i'm at the point where i don't want the good months #anymore with you or anyone else who tears down these walls with affection that is so endlessly addictive and leaves me yearning. #on the off chance that it will keep the grief away too. but that's the thing about grief isn't it? it's here to stay. unlike you #god this is so fucked up and i'll delete this later but for now i just need to. let it out. poe said i should make a side blog for the grie #but poe's not there anymore. poe has stopped starting fires. so this goes on main until shame makes me take it down #blah #personal #not st

[5-pp-man]

I keep thinking abt this dialogue cause like. when did Yosuke ever say that to him. did it happen off-screen?? was it something I missed? or is it just an unfortunate translation choice??

#kanji tatsumi #yosuke hanamura #persona 4 #yosukan #ive heard the japanese dialogue for this part but im trying to find footage so i can be 100% of what they're saying #cause it seems to match up for the most part? I think? #i think it might be a case of kanji misremembering something yosuke said in the og text. but it not carrying over correctly in the dub #why does nobody ever talk abt this he literally says this when you pick yosuke. which is like one of the most populair options for this par #its 3 in the morning guys i am. blaming this on that mcdonnie coke i had. #ill find the footage tomorrow ima tired... #tedpost #tedtalks #should i tag with yk or will i get ripped to shreds for doing that... hmm #EDIT; fuck it.

[twpsyn-who]

Today on "Another JeanMarco Soulmate AU absolutely no one asked for" I present to you -

Soulmate AU in which you stop seeing colors when your soulmate dies, the only exception being your soulmate. Now cue to Jean who just found Marco's, his best friend's, body. And you know, there's the shock of finding out Marco's dead. The pain and confusion and guilt. But there's also the revelation, because despite everything he can still see Marco like nothing took place at all- yes, half of his face is missing and his body is straight up lifeless, but Jean can still make out the color of his eye ; see that light shade of brown perfectly, remember all the times he has found himself looking at them while listening to Marco talk. He can still make out the colors of his uniform, see the same shade of black his hair has always had, practically see. Despite being dead, Marco was the only piece of color left in his life.

And there's denial for a moment because there's no way Marco was his soulmate. But that goes away fast, getting replaced by guilt. By the fact that he hasn't been there to save him, that Marco has to die all alone without anyone being there for him.

And that was worse than the simple fact that he could no longer see colors ; because Marco was there when Jean needed him, but he failed to do the same. And not only he lost his best friend that day, but his other half too.

#Anyway this fucker doesn't tell anyone about the whole soulmate thing. Not of shame of anything but because he's mourning man and also is no #One's business. Anyway the first one to find out is Armin because he notices and ever since he makes sure to mention colors as often as he #can. Like 'These flowers are a nice shade of red' or 'Green suits you well Jean! You should wear this shirt' stuff like that #Jean does appreciates it once he gets over his ego and pain and lets other people get closer to him #Funny enough Jean is the only one in that situation loool. Well I don't know about Reiner and Historia is getting there soon enough but #everyone else??? Colors everywhere man #Is both funny and sad #'Since when..?' Jean expected that question yet he wasn't truly ready to answer it. Deep down he knew he was never going to be ready for it #'Trost' his voice stains sightly while naming the city. His own city. The place he grew up in all his life. The others say nothing else #after that confession. They were all aware many has died during Trost. It wasn't that far fetched for Jean's soulmate to be some civilian #lost during the evacuations or something. But then Connie's eyes widen ever so sightly the realization sitting in. He doesn't even register #when he says 'It was Marco right?' and regrets it immediately. Jean's painful face is all the answer they needed #Also Historia ready the letter and the world losing colors while she's doing that??? Her tearing up a little but not letting herself cry #until she gets alone???? Her going to Jean once that happens and them comforting each other????? #They starts seeing colors again once Eren dies. Poor Jean is trying his best to not have a breakdown because Connie needed him more in that #moment #Reading* wtf my tags make no sens sorry guys I'm lowkey tired #aot #jean kirstein #jeanmarco #aot jean #marco bodt #marco bott #aot marco #jean kirschstein #snk #JeanMarco Soulmate AU #soulmates au #I'm not sad you are

[daydadahlias]

you can't reclaim a word that's never been used against you

#if you've never been called fat before please dont use that word #as someone who has been called fat a lot in my life in very painful ways... y'all dont get it #and i dont want people within a hundred feet of a word they dont understand the connotation/power of #im really just sad and tired of seeing non-fat people call ashton fat. because it just Keeps happening a *lot* and i just like #cannot stomach it at this point. i mean i literally see it FREQUENTLY and now ive just seen some stuff about it on my dash tonight and like #it brings me to tears literally every single time i see it. and i *never* see fat people call ashton fat ever. it is *only* non-fat people #and it's because they just simply do not understand how that word feels. and i shouldn't necessarily fault people for it BC they dont get i #but people writing feeder fics about him?? and going out of their way to describe his body in a way they never would a thin person's... #and more than that. like. he's not *fat*???? that's just not the right word. sure he HAS fat. everyone does #but calling him fat pointblank is just like... i do not see the benefit in it. he's Big. he's Muscular. but he's not *fat* #and it makes me think that you dont know any fat people. when that word has only ever been used in a derogatory manner by the majority #i mean that is NOT a neutral word. at this point in history. and if you have never experienced the harm that it can bring i just #i mean i dont know why you *want* to be using it #so yeah uh saying my bit on that bc y'all know me #im a little blabber box chatter mouth #and it's just something that i see a lot of especially on ao3 and one of the primary reasons actually that #i dont really read new fics by authors i dont know #because the way people treat ashton's body is very different than how they treat others' #and it's usually not fat people creating that content SO! #please uh consider maybe the words you're using... and how they could affect others! #ok i have a lot of homework to do tonight so im gonna. hunker down and do that #and feel Not Good about my body because if you think *ashton irwin* is *fat* then #i dont really want to know what you think about an actual fat person

[wayward-wren]

Am I the only one who doesn't think that 60s era Doctor Who's trend/themes of 'protect women' isnt sexist?

Most of the complaints I see about 60s Who sexism, and the male characters of that era is largely due to the men being like 'girls stay back.' But a) there is nothing inherently sexist about that imo? Men protecting women is the most healthy masculine thing possible. And b) when the women are like 'no lol' the men are like 'okay fine let's go' and respect their decisions on the whole.

Like that isn't sexism? That's just recognising men and women are different?

#wren rambles #doctor who #classic doctor who #this is mostly about jamie #who yes he does make sexist comments appart from his drive to protect #but only ever does that in the context of trolling his female friends #honestly i feel like if i look close enough i could argue that modern who is MORE sexist than 60s who #tempted to make that argument shfhs #i mean just look at the variety of women we have in the 60s era alone! #theres people from the past (victoria) and the future (vicki) #theres people who hang back and tend to be more damsel in distress (susan) vs women who are on the front lines (polly) #theres ladies who are pretty streets smart (dodo) and ladies who are able to keep up with the doctor intellectually (zoe) #there's BARBARA WRIGHT #the 60s era ladies are so different and all stand out in their own way #they have different skills and gifts and personalities #and (on the whole poor dodo) are pretty well developed characters #vs the same trope of 'Contemporary British Woman Who Adores The Doctor As The Best Ever Who Can Do No Wrong' fits like 70% nu companions #idk man. #i get tired of people saying 60s who is sexist #cos i dont see that it is? but maybe im missing something #i will say that i love all the 60s ladies soso much #and find some of the modern ladies less developed #ANYWAY RANT OVER THANK YOU

[paranorahjones]

you know it's bad when you start journaling about him

#for clarity this is NOT the guy that i've vague-posted about before #the one that most assuredly does not like me #i'm still dealing with that #this is a different fella whom i've somewhat known for a little while and may be getting to know better in the near future #maybe #i don't know he's just really sweet and funny and his smile warms up the room and makes me smile and idk #and he goes to my church #idk idk idk #i'm ready for a new crush to completely take over my life lol #tired of the blue-eyed blond that gives me the WORST mixed signals i've ever experienced #we're moving on to dark eyes and brown hair

[milflewis]

.

#in a strange place today and i need to put this somewhere. i do not have a journal yet. this is it #my grandad was diagnosed with dementia years ago and the grandad i have now is often unrecognisable from the one i grew up with #and while this like isn’t fun and it is strange for him to look at me and not know me more times than he does. it has also been kind of l #lovely? #bc he thinks my granny is still alive so whenever i get to go see him i get to pretend she is too. and she is for a minute. and tho i am #glad she went before him. it is nice to say oh i’m popping in to see her after this grandad and talk about her like she’s hasn’t been gone #since i’ve been ten. my dad has spoken more to him in the last five years than he has his whole life #he was not an easy man. he was loud and friendly and hard working and funny and scary but not easy. in ways he is even #harder now. in others he is easier. #he is more of a child. this is what dementia can do to a brain. we are learning things about his childhood that no one alive has ever spoken #about. that no one knew. my dad doesn’t love him more now but he understands him better #my grandad taught me how to drive a tractor and how to fish through my dad and he has not recognised me in over a year and he #hasn’t walked since he broke his pelvis seven years ago and his muscles are nearly all gone. he is a fraction of the size he used to be. his #personality and body took up my childhood like adults on the screen in cartoons. he hasn’t dressed himself in a decade. he told one of the #nurses that after dinner he wanted ice cream plain like herself and nearly peed when she laughed and told him to fuck off #he is in there. he is himself. i know him. but he isn’t. he doesn’t know me but he allows me to tell him how to ppl he knows are doing. he #still somehow trusts me. we talk a lot about my granny and how she stayed up watching tv again last night so she’s tired today. don’t stay #long when you call in to see her? #whenever we would journey to see him and my granny and get in v late he’d ask us if we wanted apple tart and my granny would say michael. #not ur kids. u can’t parent them. he didn’t know my name yesterday but he asked me if i wanted apple tart #i hope he dies soon. for all that i will miss this. miss my dad having this. he would not want to live like this. it wouldntbe living to him

[oncillaphoenix]

it's kind of frustrating that essentially all the advice on tumblr for functioning when your brain's not working properly assumes By Default that your brain's not working properly because of depression.

like. don't get me wrong, i'm glad there's advice for people with depression. and i'm totally capable of going, yeah ok this post isn't meant for me, moving on. but...when you have to do that with every advice post, when everyone around you is promising that everyone will feel better if they can put in the effort to do these things you know will make you feel worse, you start to wonder where the heck the posts that are meant for you are.

#this post brought to you by me considering making a different vent post and stopping for fear that everyone will jump down my throat with #that same 'baby steps! self-care! if you're tired just do a little bit every day and you'll get better at it! take your life into your #own hands!' that everyone here always says. i can't kyle. i have post-exertional malaise #curseposting #salty jungle cat noises #i don't know. maybe i'd be less annoyed about this if i hadn't had to deal with a year and a half of everyone around me telling me to #Just Exercise More And You'll Feel Better when i KNEW that would make it worse. and that one awful speech therapist who was convinced that #just wasn't trying and if i tried harder i wouldn't have brain fog. (he didn't SAY that but he made it very clear anyway.) #and having to On Purpose ignore all the academic advice i was getting because it was actually making it harder for me to succeed in school. #what am i some kind of alien. am i so different to everyone else that all advice ever does more harm than good. what #this is why i have issues with trusting authority #vent #*sigh* man i wish my collection of disorders were less obscure

[marathedemonoverlord]

Lesson 17 Hard Mode Spoilers(???)

Just finished Lesson 17 Hard Mode ( Don't @ me. I'm taking anything I can get to stay invested ) and like.... Did Michael just love bomb the Angels? (ಥ ͜ʖಥ)

Maybe my ass just hates gifts cause I'm so difficult but like... Weird doting vibes- Anyways weirdly I feel bad for Raphael being caught in the middle of it all - He's so awkward I see myself in him (ಥ ͜ʖಥ)(ಥ ͜ʖಥ)

#obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me nightbringer lesson 17 hard mode #obey me nightbringer lesson 17 hard mode spoilers?? #obey me nightbringer spoilers?? #Does this count as a spoiler? its literally two lines of dialogue... Interesting dialogue mind you but I'm not saying what it entailed. #I'm going through a phase of always loving men i cant have #I was obsessed with Simeon and Solomon but I feel like I get Raphael #Maybe I just dont like anybody and the fact Raphael dont like anything connects me to him #Imagine just trying to do your job as an Angel and Simeon makes it difficult - Like okay Karen take the kids and go LOL #I'm kidding Simeon's not a Karen I hope... He definitely makes life difficult for angels and demons alike #I like Simeon :> #No but like I don't try to weigh in anything with Michael cause we don't know him we only get pieces but this story bit... #I can't tell if hes mad doting with dad vibes that spoils every kid he meets or if he's someone who knows what hes doing giving gifts #I wonder if Michael and Diavolo would ever have a dynamic or ever conversed I feel like they are two people pulling Lucifer in directions #And of course Diavolo would be painted as the “good” option based on the angle of everything then Michael... #They'd probably either paint him as the opposite of Diavolo or similar to Diavolo except with darker elements under a saintly smile #Idk my mind's tired and rolling don't @ me #Still pretty odd huh.

[kennabeth]

.

#like look obviously the narrative that ~wah no one loves fitz~ is stupid he is so very very loved by so many people #but hes taught himself that if theres a part of him others dont like or if someone can use him #then their love for him might as well not exist #and thats how most people love. it's not wrong. #he just thinks it is because hes used to being treated as an item by everyone who doesnt love him unconditionally #up to his adulthood the only person who did ever seem to love him unconditionally was patience #so he made sure to take away from her the opportunity to see something in him she'd find repulsive #--like the wit--because she didnt have the chance to fully know him #which sucks because patience is the best person in the whole series #if he'd like her know him she'd love him all the same #anyway where im going with this is after the accidental... skill coupling?? #and understanding for sure and for real there is no part of him that beloved does not know and does not love anyway #that despite his love of the world in general beloved is only continuing to use him as his catalyst because it's the only way fitz lives #(the fool weeping with makeup running down his face saying he doesnt want to be a prophet he wants this to end #but he cannot watch fitz die again had ME weeping) #ANYWAY that all scared fitz shitless #'it's too much. no one can give that much' is just. devastating to me for both of them #fitz because he still cannot see himself as worthy of being loved and not used #and beloved because all he does is get shit on for what fitz demands of him #I'm so tired #and fitz has yet to notice it was the fool making sure he had food/water/fire in the tower even when they were fighting #because unconditional is unconditional. not liking at that moment is not not loving #i hate it here #also fitz violently breaking the skill connection because 'he would know my secret. he would see my deception' is absolutely crazy #repression go brr #says kenna #kenna reads rote #ALSO when the coterie was healing him and he was begging beloved through skill to not look at his heart or his mind #what the hell!! #one flesh one end bitch!!