#does he realise that this post itself is funny.....

[queenofapeacefuldawn]

SPY × Family: Chapter 94 analysis unhinged thoughts

hello hello! i am back with my thoughts for the latest chapter! please note that there are spoilers ahead for chapter 94! (Long-ish post incoming?)

Okay, so I loved this chapter. I'm a person who loves locked room murder mystery type stories, so this definitely scratched that itch for me. Obviously, I'm biased.

Analysis (of sorts?):

Right off the bat I can say that this chapter isn't really oriented on emotions or certain character dynamics. It is pretty plot heavy (but. not to the main plot. this chapter in itself has a plot to its own, but I really really liked it).

So the chapter starts with Bondman facing off an enemy in a snowy mountain...

which, of course, inspires Anya to have an adventure of her own. She asks Loid to take her skiing, only to be flatly denied...

BUT! Agent Anya has tricks up her sleeve (threatening to cry), and that works on our dear, super-spy Agent Twilight (he's so weak and stupid y'all.)

side note:

he thinks he's soooo cool. he's not.

Anyway, we get Twilight trying to explain skiing to Yor, which... fails, kinda. we also get gymnastics from Yor, (SHE's the cool one), and a half-baked explanation from her about learning all that from a gymnastics teacher.

The Forgers are trapped in a snowy blizzard, which leads them to take refuge in a lodge. They meet a group of young college students, who regale them with a tale of a bloody snowman who kills people in the dark.

Might just be me, but this design reminds me of Type-F from the new Code White movie (note: this isn't exactly a spoiler, I haven't seen the movie, but this is what's on the wiki and in the trailers). The snowy backdrop + this Type-F-esque design might be a homage to the movie? Probably just me, though, haha.

Anyway, onto the main focus of the story (kidding, it's not):

WE COULD'VE HAD IT ALL..... YOR AND LOID SLEEPING ON THE SAME BED.... WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN....

(jk, it probably wouldn't have happened, but a girl can dream)

"Eh, why not?" Certainly, these words CANNOT exist in the vocabulary of THE Agent Twilight! Perhaps.... no, it can't be... he's finally RELAXED for once? Feeling secure enough to ASSESS THE LAYOUT FOR POSSIBLE ESCAPE ROUTES WITH HIS YOUNG DAUGHTER? No... it can't be possible....

(Sorry, I know I'm unfunny. I don't think that'll change)

But, genuinely, this just shows how at ease he is with his wife and daughter. He might not know it yet, but I know it (← somebody whose opinion isn't worth shit).

Finally, onto the main crisis of the story:

the would-be murderer.

There's something to be said about how he jumped into action to save the guy's life, (as one does), BUT. BUT

OHOHOHO. The minute Yor's in danger (see: the man reached out to grab her but Loid just grabbed his hand) he decides to find the killer to prove her innocence. (You know his adage? A spy should never draw attention to themselves.) The minute his WIFE was in danger he resolves to find the killer and prove Yor's innocence their guilt. HMMMMM. Agent Twilight, you ain't slick. I think you momentarily forgot about about your #1 lesson to never draw attention to yourself just to prove Yor's innocence. OHHHHHH. The fanfiction is fanfiction-ing

(I'M SORRY I'LL TRY TO BE FUNNY FROM NOW ON)

To summarize the rest of the chapter: Anya realises with her telepathy that the killer is the lodge owner, and meddles in the investigation to nudge Loid in the right direction, and the police arrive to the lodge to find the incident resolved. Everyone's happy, right?

Not... really.

Anya's excited because, "Wow, I solved a murder! So cool, best trip ever!"

But Yor and Loid aren't that happy. Loid is worried that this kind of meddling will get Anya in danger... and he's more worried that she isn't really grasping the gravity of the situation.

Which. She kind of isn't. A man was almost killed, but she's not showing any signs of shock? Remember, he was this worried even after the hospital visit where she makes a mess of that sand-model thingie, and after the bus hijacking arc, when she's hyped about the Stella, and he tells her that the Stella was "not for the reckless way you defied those hijackers."

Which.... is a lot of character development from the man who was A-OK with leaving her alone in the apartment, to now how he constantly worries about her wellbeing. Growth.

Also, another tidbit:

I feel like this chapter showcases another facet of his personality. Not Agent Twilight's, or Loid's, but [REDACTED]'s.

[REDACTED] always wanted to help. Even in the War Arc, when, in Luwen where he was staying at his great-uncle's house, we can see that he wants to catch fish for his and his family's dinner, while, in the backdrop, children are laughing and playing. It's always been in his character to help, and, hell, it's partly the reason he is who he is today. Agent Twilight wants to think that he left [REDACTED] behind after that fateful bombing in Luwen, but [REDACTED] is hanging around him like a ghost, and some of his character bleeds through the facade that is Agent Twilight, which is masked by the facade that is Loid Forger.

Final thoughts:

Loved the chapter. It's probably just me reading into it too much, but... that scene where he grabs the guy's hand who was trying to tie up Yor. Hm.

This entire chapter might have been a locked-room murder mystery type chapter, but I genuinely think that it showcases how much of an effect this family has had on Agent Twilight. What with taking Anya on a sweep of the premises to look for escape routes, to trying to prove Yor's innocence that definitely betrayed his number 1 rule as a spy... this man is truly so oblivious, I wanna cry.

(Also: did he not stop for a moment to think that him performing first-aid on the victim, or trying to build a radio from scratch OR playing detective to prove his wife's innocence IN FRONT OF A GROUP OF OSTANIAN PEOPLE would raise suspicions? Obviously, it was all overshadowed by the discovery of the would-be killer, but... at least one person had got to have been suspicious of Loid.)

(Also also: He's so weak. One look at her crying face and he's gone.)

This was just my thoughts from a preliminary read of the chap, so if I get more thoughts, I'll probably add onto it in a reblog or a new post. Tysm for reading! Hope you liked it, and have a great day/night! Remember to stay hydrated!

#spy x family #spy x family manga #spy x family manga spoilers #spy x family chapter 94 #spy x family chapter 94 spoilers #agent twilight #loid forger #thorn princess #yor forger #agent twilight x yor forger #twiyor #loid forger x yor forger #loidyor #anya forger #bond forger

[shini--chan]

Hey, could I request yandere Allies punishing dear reader, only to realize afterwards that the Allies themselves misplased the knife ect? And thank you for the amazing writing you do!

The pleasure is mine, dear. And please people, don’t read this during, or after eating - this especially refers to the France part of this post. Rated mature for reasons. 

Trigger warnings: Attempted murder, temporary death, body horror, gore, domestic violence, animal death

Yandere Allies - Oversight

America

Now that had been unexpected, it occured to Alfred while he was in limbo. Limbo generally was a weird place, and it was best to focus on the internal going ons, than the external happenings. The alien geometries and starburst fractals and the unliving creatures haunting the semi-shadows would only make the aroma of his own death linger longer in his mouth should he inspect them. No need to pass over to the other side yet, either - he wasn't at the end of his life either. 

You were going to be in so much trouble when he got back. All that blood on his desk, it really wouldn't do. Perhaps he should force you to clean it up. Couldn't you have opted for a less bloody option, than slitting his throat? For all that you claimed to be kinder and fairer than him, with your modus operandi you had demonstrated that you were anything but that. And you called him a hypocrite. 

All of this because of your damn attitude problems and a misplaced knife. Hormone imbalance, mayhaps? He should have you take a blood test, just to make sure that a thyroid dysfunction wasn't on the table. 

Slowly the connection to his physical body started to reestablish itself and he felt the chill of death creep in his bones. Thankfully, due to his superpower status, his time in the limbo was relatively short and his body was therefore not too cold when he returned to it. Though, the dead time had been increasing as of late, and that was worrying all on its own. Something he would have to look at another time, though. 

Air entered his lungs and his heart gradually started pumping again. His throat felt like shit, but thankfully was closed. By the feel of it, you had covered it after you had murdered him. Speaking of you, he felt your hands rummaging in his jacket pockets. Rude. 

With some effort, he cracked his eyes open and observed you through his half-closed eyelids. He was on the floor, spread-eagle. Even through the postmortem blurr, he could recognise that you were pale beyond belief and you were shaking. The hands searching his person were frantic and your breathing was erratic. As his sense of smell kicked in, he caught the sharp sting of bile floating from his waste paper basket. 

Double Rude. If you had to kill someone, best not be a pussy about it and not vomit after doing the deed. Blazes, what was wrong with you that you couldn't even murder somebody probably? Maybe he'd have you kill one of those rats that once had vyed for your attention. Good riddance and a lesson all in one, that would be fantastic. 

Now, just to get your attention.

A hand wrapped around one of your ankles, and with his sight becoming clearer, he could see how your eyes went wide. Hands froze, and you turned your head to look down in that slow, comical fashion that was so typical of horror movie protagonists. When you screamed, he yanked your leg out from underneath you, causing the scream to morph into a yelp. 

Now this was funny

Given how distracted Alfred can get, he'll probably overlook where he placed the knife and will only realise what happened when it is too late. The best course of action would be to book it. If you want further time then you'd have to put Alfred even further out of commision, so that more time is spent healing.

When he does get you again, he'll be borderline manic and you can be assured that whatever punishment shall commence will be worse than the one that allowed you to obtain the knife in the first place.

Canada

"I do hope you just have the knife 'cause you wanna cook something", he remarked. Matthew didn't even look up from where he was plucking his eyebrows, just kept staring intently in the small beautician mirror he had before him. There were more important things than you waving a knife around as if you knew how to use it. You couldn't even chop vegetables properly.

"And what if I don't?", you asked snidely. Slippers scraped against the floorboards as you approached him. Turning the mirror just so, he saw you over his shoulder, with a knife held high. Was your pallor and trembling due to the blood loss, fear, or both?

"You wouldn't dare to kill me. We both know that."

"How can you be so sure? After everything you've done to me, why shouldn't I?", you asked in return. Your voice wasn't even - it cracked and faltered at the end of some words and he had to strain his hearing to make out the others.

The personification turned around slowly, intent on being dramatic. He jad seen Alfred and his Lord Father do so often enough for him to be able to imitate them perfectly. 

There you were standing, holding the never some knife he had used to cut paper fine cuts in your back, a tally of all the spanks he had inflicted on you. You had been so upset, the humiliation and pain forcing tears from your eyes. Not surprising that you were having a tantrum, therefore.

Matthew was taller than you and therefore it was so easy to look down on you. 

"You've never hurt somebody. You wouldn't even dare cut a bunny's throat and then skin it, even if your life depends on it. Everytime somebody talks about organs and blood for more than five minutes, you become green. Do you really think it is believable when you say you want to injure me? Or even go further than that and kill me? 

So stop lying to yourself. You don't have the guts to kill me, 'cause that would mean staining your ledger with red", he explained, and with each other word, took a step closer to you. Eventually, you had to tilt your head back to look him in the eye.

 Trembling like a frightened rabbit, you clutched the blade even tighter to make sure it didn't fall out of your hand. No further words were said, but there was no need, for when he met no resistance when he pried the implement out of your grasp, he knew his words had hit home. 

It would come as no surprise to Canada should you approach him with a knife and malicious intent. Judging from your past reactions to punishments, it would be a given that you would act out more than usual, should you get your hands on a weapon

He would be willing to let it slide, as a way of showing just how inconsequential you arming yourself is to him. It is not like you can gain the upper hand over him or something of the sort, so why should he punish you for that? Besides, he is more angry with himself for making such a mistake. He is supposed to set a standard, to have a certain image in your mind. How can he have that if he is constantly slipping up?

China

The steel felt cold against your skin. This whole thing was rather silly, even petty. It wasn't like that you didn't have unrestricted access to a whole assortment of knives. Heavens, it would take little convincing for Yao to let you take up fencing, and with historical swords for that. With a little work, you could then turn a blunted long sword into a sharp blade. This was more about the principal than the outcome.

Yao was enjoying a book on the couch, as was typical for a workday evening. There was even a cup of tea … no, herbal infusion on the table beside him and every now and then he would reach over and take a few sips. 

You just had to get your timing correct. 

After a few minutes of waiting, he finally reached over again and that was the moment you chose to strike. Quickly, you lunged in order to cross the space in the blink of an eye and rammed the knife downward.

The ugly screech of metal being embedded in wood filled the room, and the steel glinted crimson with droplets of blood. Yao hadn't even let go of the tea cup, now lifted slightly off the table surface. What he had done was spill some tea. 

There wasn't even a change in expression when he fixed his eyes on you. The cup exchanged hands and your partner lifted his hand to his mouth and sucked the blood away that was seeping out of the shallow cut in his hand.

"That was planned?", he finally inquired, his hand falling down to the table. He pushed himself upright and set the cup back down. 

It was kind of strange, now. You were kneeling at his feet and he was sitting above you, like you were some child begging for leniency from the patriarch of the family. 

"Yes."

"Don't tell me you are still upset about me eating the last of your chocolates."

"That is what you think this is about. No, it is about the dress."

"Really? That is even worse than the chocolate argument."

"Excuse you, but not everybody takes it well when you cut a dress from their body and burn it in the fireplace. It was new!"

Thin eyebrows shot up and he gave you a nasty sneer as he recalled the incident that had occured last weekend. Oh, he had made it so apparent that he hated seeing that piece on you. 

"Why would you insist on clothing your body with that filth gifted to you by that mutt? He wasn't doing it to be a friend, he was doing it because he wanted you in his bed."

Scoffing, you rose to your feet and brushed the dirt of the trousers you were wearing. 

"Don't you think I noticed? He was being rather obvious about it. And before you accuse me of wanting to sleep with him - no, just no. But I wasn't going to say no to that expensive dress.

Since China wouldn't use the knife itself to directly harm you, he'll quickly brush this all off as an overreaction. Due to such an incident occurring rather early in the relationship, it would be easy to make you see your own actions as being unreasonable. Will do his best to make you feel guilty about the whole thing.

Would treat you like a brat afterwards. You better think of something good to make up to him. This treatment would go on for a while until you "prove" to him that you are mature. Yao will use this incident to his advantage in the future - such as making you turn two blind eyes to his red flags so that you can't be accused of overreacting. 

England

Arthur had his features drawn together in a pinched expression. Muscles in his cheeks jumped as he visibly kept his anger in check. Stretch a hand out to you. 

"Now, now darling. Be good and give me the knife", he said, with that soft, light tone that was more fitting when talking to a child than with you. It made your skin crawl. It made you grip the knife in your hand ever tighter. 

"No."

"Don't draw this out longer than it has to be. Give me the knife, and then you can go curl up on the couch 'till I'm finished tending to the fire.”

He was trying so hard to reason with you, to persuade you into complying with his will. But you know, that if you do, he’ll be no more lenient with you, than if you hadn’t. That is the part of the inherent cruelty of Arthur Kirkland. He is a callous and selfish man, who parades his supposed virtues not out of the pureness of his heart, but because they are fashionable. With you, there are enough times when he forgoes keeping up appearances, because it is not like you can leave him. 

And so the sheathed blades are unsheathed, and if you step out of line, a world of pain awaits you, both in the metaphorical and the literal sense. Arthur has an ideal that he wants you to live up to, and he doesn’t take it well when you break the mould. 

He took a step forward, and you one back. This couldn’t go on. Constantly he goaded you on being weak-willed and therefore needing him to make major decisions in your life - this was the opportunity to make him eat his words. 

All factors weren’t considered when you charged forwards, blade thrusted forward and aimed at the heart. The next few seconds passed in a blur, but afterwards, looking back on it, you knew what happened: 

The fire poker was pointed downwards and used to push the kitchen knife to the side. With the momentum you had put in the move, you weren’t able to take a step back and redeploy. His right arm wound itself around your outstretched one, fastening you to his side. The poker moved swiftly, swinging over the outer side of your elbow and the tip found its home at your jugular. 

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you wanted to be subdued by me. You know how aroused I get when I get to tame you. So tell me, did you want this all along?”, he asked coyly. 

A wild spark danced in his eyes, not akin to one that you had ever seen before. A hunter that only went after the biggest, most dangerous quarry and delighted in the fight itself. The scent of blood and sweat, the screams of the dying - you had feared Arthur before, but this was a different story. There had been to much ease with how simply he turned the tables. Perhaps fears of him being a berserker at heart were well founded. 

You tried to wind out of the lock, and subsequently bent your arm. Thankfully, the poker was no longer a few milimetres from penetrating your neck, but now it was pressing you down by the elbow. The strength behind the move forced you to give in and follow the course that Arthur was directing you to. Being led around like that, you were forced to make an arc around him. The fire poker pressed your elbow towards him, giving you no choice but to flop down on your back. 

Hand and metal implement vanished and you breathed deeply. Arthur was still standing in front of the fireplace, the fire shining behind him. That, and with him standing over you, made him look like some angel about to punish you for your sins. 

“If you have to attack, then never do so half heartedly or when full of rage. I can tell you this, because either way, you never stand a chance of winning against me.”

Arthur would be very irritated in this whole matter. But if you are so insistent, then he’ll gladly play teacher to his new, so willing pupil and give you a lesson that you wouldn’t forget so fast. With all the years of combat experience and practice in swordsmanship under his belt, his victory would be a given. He would even go so far as to say he would be able to defeat you with a cooking spoon. 

Would make a whole game out of it. It has been so long since he has had a decent sparring partner that he might as well train you up to par. That way, he could easily demonstrate his superiority on a regular basis, he would have the perfect conditions to bully you, and you would get to release all those pesky emotions of yours that otherwise make you so disagreeable. Win-win, right?

France

You glowered at France. The bastard was sitting across from you, arms crossed in front of him and with a disgustingly smug grin on his obnoxious face. It was sickening really, the whole thing was sickening, and he was acting as if justice had been served. 

So far, you had managed to avoid eating the meat part of the dish, and had wasted a lot of time pushing around the chips and carrots before consuming them. The piece of meat was covered with cheese, something that you had decided on so that you wouldn't have to see it, that you wouldn't have to smell it.

Cooking your beloved pet had been bad enough as it was. The scent of blood still lingered in your nose, and even now that last panicked scream echoed in your ears. 

Now it would be time to start eating it; there was nothing else left on your plate.

You wanted to puke. 

Grabbing sideways, you managed to get the knife in your grasp. You didn't even look as to where the offending thing went exactly. Eyes were just focused on his face, and the time went in that general direction. He even had to duck.

The next moments didn't register by you, as you buried your face in your hands and sobbed loudly. All of this just because of one man's jealousy. With a sweeping motion, you sent the plate crashing to the floor, not caring that the results of you resisting your punishment. 

You just wanted this whole nightmare to be over. 

France wouldn't really be the sort to resort to physical violence, except if very specific circumstances apply, like war, colonialism or dealing with treason to the nation. Since that can't really be expected, the knife would be an instrument in your psycological torture. In the case described above, that would take the form of forcing you to kill, process and eat a pet that he is jealous of. 

In his eyes, you should be his lover and not share your love with somebody or something that isn't him or his. If you would not let him bask in your love and attention, then drastic measures shall be needed. And what is more valuable than a life? 

Russia

With a nauseating squelch, the knife buried itself in the meat of his shoulder. Blood sprayed upwards and some of it immediately seeped out of the wound. A loud grunt broke the silence as your victim was torn from his sleep through the violence. 

You wanted to wrench the blade out while you still had the chance, but it was harder to pull out than you thought. Perhaps the force behind the blow had been enough to lodge the knife in the bone. It apparently wasn't sharp enough to effortlessly slide out of it. 

On top of that, Ivan scooted out of the bed before you could dislodge the blade, fast despite the injury and the sleep weariness. Your captor stood a good few metres away, the twilight of the room making him look like some giant beast. The heavy panting and the knife handle sticking out of his shoulder only added to that image. 

"Are you insane?", he hissed. 

One large hand reached up and pulled. Now the blade came out in a fluid motion, and drops of blood sprayed forward. Due to the very loose nightshirt that he was wearing, you hadn't managed to emesh the fabric with the wound - the metal had only penetrated human tissue. 

Ivan hadn't even let out a single grunt of pain. Even now, when blood was running down his chest, then disappearing down the hemline of the shirt, staining it red, he seemed unfazed.

"You're one to talk", you snapped back. "Did it never occur to you that I might get fed up with the way you treat me and decide to retaliate?" 

He scoffed and stepped closer to you. The knife was tossed to the side, and he glowered. 

"And did it ever occur to you that I don't punish you because I find it fun, but because you need to learn that your actions have consequences? You are not some child, so you should know better than to think I'll simply let you do as you please. Though, from the stunt you've pulled now, I'm actually inclined to reassess my thoughts about your maturity", he stated. 

With each word, he took a step closer until his toes were touching yours. A strange crawling motion could be seen in the area of the wound, like it didn't want to accept the parting. 

"Oh, and weren't you of that same opinion when you put me over your knee and gave me a hiding with the flat side of that blade?", you challenged him. Oh the terror had quickly morphed into humiliation once you had realised what was going on. 

"Perhaps you should stop behaving like a sugar-addled brat then."

The skin and meat knitted itself together, a grotesk acceleration and bastardisation of the natural heal process. Ivan signed in relief and took his attention off of you and inspected the scarless skin, rolling his shoulder and flexing his muscles. 

Your heart dropped and your thoughts slowed to a standstill in shock. You had severely underestimated him.

"And also not turn to being a traitor. You know very well what I do with those."

Ivan would take your actions against him as treason and if there is something that he can't tolerate, it is a traitor. Gone are all the privileges and outings and affection. If you aren't quick to make up to him and express your remorse and see the error of your ways, you're going to have a long road ahead of you. You'll have to work hard to get back into his good graces; even just getting him to treat you with human decency would take a while. 

In his eyes, if you choose such disproportionate retaliation in response to his actions, then you either have an attitude problem or something went wrong in your upbringing. He'll be happy to correct that. It'll range from what you are allowed to eat, to the media you consume, to your bedtime. Imagine a strict headmistress or matron. 

A/N: The move I described is actually a real technique used with one handed sword. It was a cool day learning that one. 

France was hard to write, so I decided to keep it short. 

#yandere hetalia #yandere america #yandere x reader #yandere france #yandere england #yandere russia #yandere china #yandere canada #yandere allies #x reader

[sadlybeans]

Jonathan Kent headcanons✨

to be fair some of these are for all kryptonians but i wanted to talk about him exclusively because i love him

He has a lot of behaviours/habits that do look weird, which is strange on itself because he’s been raised as a human and his dad was raised as a human, it just seems to come naturally.

Despite not acting completely human, he can read social cues and facial expressions really well even without his super senses.

The glasses: why are they a good disguise? My personal opinion is that kryptonian eyes look completely alien and unique. Not only do they have a colour that’s too intense to be real, their pupils are not black- they’re a lighter tone than their irises. So like, the glasses drive attention away and probably have some sort of film that helps conceal them.

He can’t tan much. As a kid he was pale as a ghost but as he grew up he could get a bit more melanin, tho never too much. Which is funny bc I think Clark does have a good tan.

Something about how kryptonians look makes you feel unsettled after you look at them long enough, and if you stare for quite a bit you’ll inevitably think of the uncanny valley effect. They look human enough to be very convincing, but they’re too perfect and flawless.

Jon’s half ‘n half but he still looks more kryptonian than human, he’s a mini Clark after all.

If you asked me to design him all grown up I would actually make him shorter- mostly bc I think it’d be hilarious for ppl to underestimate him. Imagine how many idiots would overlook this pretty boy only to be hit in the face with the fact he’s kryptonian. Lots of wasted comedy right there.

He has no fashion sense. I’m sorry but it’s true and you know it.

His childhood hero crush was definitely Nightwing.

Growing up is realising his (Nightwing’s) little brother’s much cuter.

He’s indeed a ray of sunshine, but he’s also a sarcastic and problematic little shit as product of hanging around the Wayne kids far too much.

I’ve probably mentioned this in one of my previous posts but he has a room of his own in Wayne manor ever since he started being bffs with Damian. he prefers to sleep with Damian now but it’s still there.

He’s probably the only person brave enough to call Bruce uncle when he was a kid.

He’s diagnosed with ADHD but it’s actually just his half alien brain working differently/faster than a human’s, which makes it harder to focus since humans do things too slow in comparison.

Once he decides he’s your friend you’re never getting rid of him.

the age up never happened it’s true i’m actually DC

#jon kent #jonathan kent #jon kent headcanons #superboy #kryptonian headcanons #there’s some damijon sprinkled in there ngl #damijon

[that-ari-blogger]

Inciting Incident (Thank Goodness)

One of the most popular songs in Wicked is sung by Galinda, and centres around the idea that the society she lives in is corrupt and that she is the only one who knows how it really works. But is she right about that? Does she actually know as much as she thinks?

I think the answer is complicated, and that's the fun of it. I think that Glinda has intellectually grasped that the system is flawed, but I don't think she's emotionally wrapped her head around it. Case and point, the complete and utter cognitive dissonance that is Thank Goodness.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD: (Wicked, The Trekkie's Tale)

Thank Goodness is actually two songs. Thank Goodness itself, and a reprise of No-one Mourns The Wicked. So, it's a rehashing of the first act, opening with Glinda conversing with the crowd, the difference is whether or not she is appearing to agree with it.

In the first Glinda tries to argue for Elphaba's morality, and it frames the entire story. But now, Glinda stands idly by and goes along with all that the chorus says while they get more and more worked up by lies that she knows to be untrue.

You would think that the two segments of the song being in agreement would mean that they go well together, but they really don't. Thank Goodness and No-one Mourns The Wicked do not fit with each other at all, in my opinion.

So, what does this mean?

I think that this song shows Glinda lying to herself, and finally starting to crack and realise what is happening.

Glinda spends this song deflecting from the problem, instead of confronting it head on. She relies on popularity and giving the people what they want to distract them.

My ex-girlfriend is being hunted by the masses for something she didn't do, but look over here, I'm getting married!

"Like some terrible green blizzard

Throughout the land she flies

Defaming our poor Wizard

With her calumnies and lies!"

The obvious thing here is the tense. This is happening now, as opposed to something the characters have lived through and made it out the other side of. It is more immediate.

But the other thing that I want to point out is the wall that the Ozians are putting up. The reason Elphaba can't get through to anyone is because they think she is lying, because who are you more likely to believe, someone who you trust implicitly, or someone who everyone around you says is dangerous?

The song is broken into four sections. The introduction, Glinda's two reflections, and Madame Morrible's story, which prompts her to change her mind a bit.

"When you bowed before his throne

He decreed you'd hence be known

As Glinda the Good, officially!"

The following is an excerpt from The Trekkie's Tale, a Star Trek fanfic first published in 1974.

"Gee, golly, gosh, gloriosky," thought Mary Sue as she stepped on the bridge of the Enterprise. "Here I am, the youngest lieutenant in the fleet - only fifteen and a half years old." Captain Kirk came up to her...

"Here, take over the ship for a minute while I go get some coffee for us."

This is the archetypal Mary Sue story, a format where the protagonist gets all that they want and more. The world revolves around Mary Sue, and as a result, it isn't particularly compelling. She wins everything, then she saves the day and dies, and everyone mourns her.

Nobody online seems to be able to agree on whether this story was a satire of general fanfiction trends or not, a fact that I find rather funny.

But compare that to the story Madame Morrible is telling about Glinda. Allegedly, the wizard gave her the title for... not much actually. In Morrible's version of events, good people get things just because, and nobody is asking any questions.

Essentially, Glinda is getting all that she wants on a silver platter, with no questions asked, no strings attached. Well, one string attached.

"Then with a jealous squeal

The Wicked Witch burst from concealment

Where she had been lurking, surrpetitially!"

I mentioned in my post on Defying Gravity (maybe go check that one out) that the central conflict that ended Elphaba and Glinda's relationship was that Elphaba was prepared to sacrifice everything, and Glinda wasn't. But Glinda did have to give up something to achieve her dream, and I don't think she quite understood that until now. To get the power she craved, Glinda had to lose Elphaba.

This song is essentially bludgeoning Glinda over the head with the fact that this tradeoff was not worth it.

That is the dissonance inherent to Glinda's entire character. She recognises the flaws in the world around her but has convinced herself that it will be worth it when she gets to power.

I don't think that Galinda would have realised this, and I am making a point of differentiating Glinda and Galinda. In my mind, Glinda is the version of this character who fell in love with and was changed by Elphaba. The two characters are incredibly similar, and one is an evolution of the other, but it is the influence of Elphaba that makes the difference.

Galinda was seeking power for the sake of it, a person who got her way because she couldn't understand anything else. But Elphaba changed that and gave her a purpose for seeking to climb the ladder. I think Glinda believed she could make a difference from within the structure of Oz, probably to help Elphaba.

Glinda has got everything she theoretically wanted, but at the behest of the reason she was doing it, and now that she is here, she can't even initiate the change she wanted to change. Glinda made the wrong choice, and is only now realising it.

"We couldn't be happier

Right, dear?

Couldn't be happier

Right here

Look what we've got

A fairy-tale plot

Our very own happy ending."

If you are wondering why I've been leaving Glinda's monologues until the end, it is because they make my case for me, and make analysis rather difficult as a result. I have been saying over and over that this musical is about dreams and reality colliding, and that is explicitly stated in these verses.

The fact that there are two of these mirrors the two sides of Glinda's character. The first is the side that craves the attention and has got everything that she wants, then the song reminds her of Elphaba, and she tries again with a more nuanced perspective.

"Though it is, I admit

The tiniest bit

Unlike I anticipated

But I couldn't be happier

Simply couldn't be happier

Well - not simply

'Cause getting your dreams

It's strange, but it seems

A little, well, complicated"

This is literally what I've been saying. She's got what she wanted, but not in the way she wants. It's complicated, and that facade of hers is finally cracking.

That duality is mirrored by the time signature, which is maddening. The song oscillates between a ton of different signatures, and if someone with more musical knowledge understands anything more about this than me, please give me a hand.

From my, admittedly limited, understanding, this feels like a lack of surety. Glinda doesn't know what she wants or thinks anymore, so she can't decide what she is singing.

It also gives an incredibly informal tone, as the lack of structure matches how a person speaks, almost. There have been two characters who have distinct speech patterns in this musical, Madam Morrible, and Glinda. The script of both of whom is written in recurring patterns and rhythms, making up words to match the metre of their sentence. It's pompous and pseudointellectual.

This is most obvious in how smooth the start of Defying Gravity is. There, Glinda doesn't have to change how she talks to match the song, because she is already speaking in the right rhythm.

Cynthia Erivo's rendition of this song in PBS's Wicked In Concert is phenomenal and I highly recommend you check it out, not least of all because removing the crowd gives the song a completely different vibe.

But here, halfway through a song, she gives up with artfulness and just speaks her mind. It's still a song, so you still get the rhythms and melodies, but that is breaking down, and is gone in the script from this point forwards. That's partially why I say Glinda and Galinda are different people, they sound different to each other.

There are a few almost exceptions to this rule, and I say almost exceptions because they come really close to breaking the mould, but don't.

In this exception, Glinda is trying to convince herself that she is happy. The song is limited to one thought, the idea that Glinda should be happy, and there can't be anything wrong. She has got everything she wanted, and that would make her happy, right? Happy is what happens when all of your dreams... That's the word that throws her off, dreams.

This is no longer Glinda's dream.

This song is a microcosm of Glinda's entire arc in the musical. She follows the story laid out for her, but is changed by the journey until it no longer fits. She has changed, and now she can't do anything about it.

Ironically, Glinda has gained all the authority she could dream of, but she is more powerless and has less agency than she started with, and all of that happened without her notice.

"There's a kind of a sort of, cost

There's a couple of things get, lost

There are bridges you cross

You didn't know you crossed

Until you've crossed."

Final Thoughts

Genuinely, my favourite trope in a story is a character undergoing character development and not realising. For example, the "nobody's that heartless" line in The Emperor's New Groove.

But Glinda is my favourite example of this because of the way in which she reaches her conclusions. She is smart, possibly the most intelligent character in the entire musical, but her biases cause her to make some serious leaps of logic and ignore several things that would change her worldview until she runs headfirst into them.

Also, the stagecraft of this song is simple in order to not distract from Glinda's thoughts, but that means a lot of these photos are remarkably similar. I apologise for that.

Next week, I will be looking at Wonderful, and how it forms a neat little mirror of Sentimental Man, so stick around if that interests you.

Previous - Next

#rants #literary analysis #literature analysis #character analysis #what's so special about...? #glinda #glinda upland #wicked the musical #wicked musical #wicked #glinda the good witch #glinda wicked

[thefirstknife]

So Immaru this week is clearly trying to manipulate us, but it does make me wonder just how much influence the Traveler has/had on who the Ghosts choose.

Its always been said that the Traveler chose who the Ghosts choose, but Ghosts are clearly their own people

Yeah, it's up for debate. Even among Ghosts themselves. Some Ghosts clearly think that the Traveler told them to raise a specific person. A good example is Felspring who told Felwinter exactly that:

Then it gentled its voice, "The Traveler told me to save you. That something was different about you." "That ball in the sky you showed me? It talked to you?" "I can't explain it."

But there's other Ghosts don't feel that way. Difference of Opinion lore tab is funny, but it also highlights just how much Ghosts differ in opinions about the Traveler and their own purpose. In contrast to Felspring, Sagira's answer for Osiris was just:

"Why did you choose me?" Osiris's voice is hollow. He flattens a palm for Sagira to perch. "You have a spark." Her voice is warm air.

Sagira further offers some insight after about why some Ghosts potentially choose bad people:

"He needed someone strong. A fighter." "Nothing more?" Sagira pauses. "The Traveler was… wounded when it created us. That pain echoes. Some of us make choices we shouldn't. Some of us are scared. The process isn't streamlined."

We obviously don't know if this is just Sagira's interpretation or if it's fact. Ghosts simply don't know anything with 100% certainty, but this bit that she said makes a lot of sense. Ghosts are pieces of the Traveler and when they were made, the Traveler shed those parts of itself and sent them out into the world. It's logical that some Ghosts adopted certain aspects of the Traveler. Some Ghosts are scared and impulsive and raised a bad person who ended up being cruel because being scared and impulsive and needing a protector at all costs is part of the Traveler. Others chose heroic people who would sacrifice themselves for others because being heroic and sacrificing yourself for others is also a part of the Traveler.

Most likely what happens is that it's a Ghosts' choice, but that choice is inextricably linked to the Traveler. Even what Felspring said makes sense in that regard. Perhaps Felspring was a part of the Traveler that was observing Felwinter's progress as he was learning about humanity and believed that he was worthy of that humanity (and he was!).

One of my ideas right now is that perhaps Immaru (and other Ghosts that followed him) adopted the part of the Traveler that really wanted to help the Hive, back when they were on the Fundament. It would explain why he feels so strongly about the Hive being more deserving of the Light. That's just an idea, if we follow this logic that Ghosts are reflective of all aspects of the Traveler.

I doubt the Traveler could influence Ghosts post-creation however. First of all, it was dormant so that would've been almost impossible anyway. If any Ghosts could specifically hear the Traveler's instructions back then, it was probably exceptionally rare, if possible at all. And second, the Traveler is all about personal choice. It would never tell anyone what to do or what not to do, even if their deeds will end up badly. Even when it spoke to Clovis, it wasn't to give him orders, it was only in metaphores to nudge him to realise that he's doing something awful. But it never directly told him "Stop this!" It's something that Clovis resented about it and why Clovis fell to Darkness in the first place. Clovis wanted to be pointed directly towards a goal. Meanwhile, the Traveler:

"The best voices," she said, with infinite grief and unending hope, "never let themselves be heard at all. This lesson is worth teaching again and again. The choice is never mine. It is always yours."

The only other time the Traveler made a direct choice and spoke was when Rhulk wanted to experiment with a Ghost. The Traveler not only said a strict no, but also went as far as to destroy the Ghost to make sure. Now that I think about it, in retrospect, knowing that a Ghost can be used to connect to the Veil to make the portal... I wonder if the Traveler's reaction was for this reason. A Ghost in the hands of a disciple of the Witness is not a good idea. With extra extra retrospect, this is possibly also why the Witness had to trick us into getting our Ghost near the Veil. If the Witness simply took one or directed a disciple to take one and bring it to the Veil, the Traveler could've simply destroyed it. Obviously hard to tell if this was planned out that deeply, but it certainly adds some sense to several details.

I definitely think that the Traveler has no direct say in who is chosen by a Ghost. The Traveler chooses who to help in the sense that it appears in their system. And at one point it appeared in the orbit of the Fundament, helping species one by one and Hive were in line to get that help, but they were steered against it before the Traveler could reach them. Ghosts themselves are unique and were only made in the Collapse on Earth. They, from all we know about them and the Traveler and its philosophy, choose by themselves, even if they maybe feel some urges that they can't explain and some may attribute those to the Traveler. But yeah, it was Ghosts that chose the Hive. It was Immaru that chose Savathun. The Traveler had no direct say in it, despite many characters blaming it on the Traveler. It's a natural reaction to do so, but as far as we know right now, the Traveler didn't tell those Ghosts directly to go rez the Hive. Until the Traveler speaks directly and plainly to us, until it lets us ask it questions, we will probably never know for sure.

#destiny 2 #ghost #hive ghost #immaru #traveler #ask #long post

[youronlybean]

ChilledChaos Appreciation Post Essay :)

There’s a whole lot of negative things I can say about streamers and content creators in general, especially about YouTubers I myself used to watch and enjoy (I have since grown as a person and recognise that they are, whilst not inherently terribly people, unfunny and uncool). However, I prefer to spread positivity wherever I can, so here’s my ChilledChaos appreciation essay.

From watching Chilled’s YouTube content from back in the day to watching his streams for over three years now, he’s one of the best around in my sincere opinion. Whilst things have changed since the early YT days, it’s clear that Chilled remains timeless and just a genuinely good guy. He’s mature and fair, compassionate and understanding, funny and charismatic (despite the ���sociallyawkward’ tag on his stream lol) and above all else, he has an incredible innate social awareness.

Chilled, outside of being cunning, deceptive and Evil with a capital E for the laughs (CTC: Can’t Trust Chilled!), is at heart a genuinely very empathetic person. For good reason Chilled hosts many of the lobbies in PR1. He makes sure that his players are having fun, constantly checks in on them to make sure his settings are fair and fun for everyone, and will always change a rule if most people agree that it isn’t fun for them. He takes criticism very well and recognises that his players aren’t being critical of him as a person at all when they ask him to change one of his rules. They respect his decisions as much as he respects their opinions, which is incredibly important when playing long-term with a group of people, especially since they all have valued friendship.

He can recognise when things are too loud or chaotic (the occasional stream mute is very refreshing for neurodivergent ears) or when people just aren’t having fun. He recognises when a game is more fun when it’s played frequently and when it’s more of a twice a year kind of game, for both the players’ sake and the audience. He also does his best to make sure everyone gets to play the game as much as possible and protects those who have died early a lot in a session or tries to make a game go quickly if there’s a lot of people dead and waiting.

(I remember when the green shield mechanic was first introduced for Town of Us, Chilled didn’t want to use it because then people wouldn’t learn. He began to use it I think when he realised that the game itself is very unpredictable, and people can’t always pay attention to everything, especially when they’re trying to stream at the same time.)

Chilled also remains true to his morals. He doesn’t do “edgy” jokes (I think everyone knows what I mean by “edgy”), and has consistently put his foot down when topics that definitely should be taken very seriously were joked about. He does this whilst also recognising that there wasn’t harmful intent behind the jokes but that they still shouldn’t be made. The good thing about it is once he tells them to stop joking about something, it is never joked about again (this doesn’t happen often at all but when it does I know I can count on Chilled to be a voice of reason). He doesn’t bring the vibe down when doing so either, simply tells them to stop, they stop and apologise, and everyone moves on. I know this has got to be hard to do on a livestream, especially in front of an audience of thousands and for your job. It’s got to be a lot of pressure. He’s professional about it and takes into account that people make mistakes sometimes and that doesn’t make them bad people. He’s also not afraid to stand up to his friends if they are the ones to blame, but also recognises if he’s in the wrong.

(One particular occasion comes to mind a lot from about a year ago: I won’t go into detail but Chilled was absolutely right, the joke was not funny despite no ill intentions towards anyone, and no joke on that topic has been made since on any PR1 stream I’ve seen. People aren’t perfect, but they can recognise they made a mistake and they did because Chilled took a stance and helped them recognise that it was a bad joke, and was able to criticise his friends without damaging any relationships or respect for each other.)

Chilled also very clearly values his online friendships. He definitely knows how to pick his friends by the people he consistently surrounds himself with and has even maintained some of those friendships for over a decade (Junk, Ze, Tom, Tay, etc.). He’s not afraid to introduce new people into his circle and has great chemistry with just about anyone he talks to. He’s great for matching a chaotic energy or a relaxed one, and is able to keep up a cheerful mood or a good vibe when things are looking rough. He doesn’t take bumps in the road to heart and knows when a bit or joke or even a game has run its course. He has moments outside of his persona when he shows genuine concern and compassion for his friends and even if he talks shit he’ll always admit that he is fond of someone, even if it’s not to their face.

(Here I think of Vikram, and how it’s clear that they are good friends even if Chilled gives him a lot of shit - Vikram does ask for it too though, lol. If Vik is missing from a TOS lobby it’s just not the same without him, a sentiment Chilled has often expressed. He always very sincerely mentions that he hopes his friend is okay if he is suddenly MIA - and this also applies to all other PR1 members)

Chilled is also just insanely funny. It’s obvious to just about anyone that he deserves the large audience he has, as he is a skilled entertainer and knows how to make someone laugh. I mean, what’s funnier than growing a moustache out of pure spite? He worries about balancing so much because he wants everyone to have a fair chance at winning because he knows that losing over, and over, and over again just isn’t fun. He’s very genuinely smart and can admit when he’s wrong, he’s often the first to deduce that someone else is lying (takes one to know one!) and very logically driven (spontaneity is his Achilles heel, best examples being Ze, Vik, Chibi and Side, all of which are either comedically impulsive or refuse to adhere to logic). The fact that he is very in-touch with others emotionally and intellectually (whether he realises it or not) makes him very good at a myriad of things - mystery-solving, game-balancing, entertaining, and literally any of the other things I’ve already said about him and in my excited live-blogging.

(Something I notice just as a general observation about PR1 vs. some content creators I used to watch is that there’s a lack of rage in PR1. Personally I think this is a huge improvement and it’s way more entertaining to watch people having genuine fun and for grown adults to not take losses as failures and not get pissy and rage quit when things aren’t going their way. And the lack of rage-induced slurs thrown around is… well, refreshing, to say the least. - more on this in another post, probably)

Anyway, in conclusion, Chilled is awesome and I have copious amounts of respect for him (even if he is addicted to Yu-Gi-Oh! and doesn’t have gutters lmao)

#oh so I can write a parasocial gush essay about my streamer but can’t write a single sentence of school work? figures. #I could go on for hours. this is draft 2 and I think it’s comprehensible now. hopefully #anyway. there is a reason Chilled has a big audience and it’s this #chilledchaos #private recording 1

[ffb6c1lover]

Clothing colour symbolism in The White Queen

So. I was looking at this image and wondering why Richard stands out so much in terms of colour and what it might mean, which led me down a rabbit hole. I discovered that there's one too many coincidences to be casual.

So, here's my theory about each character and what their clothing says about them and their motives.

Richard Duke of Gloucester

Richard, throughout the first episodes of the show, is mostly seen wearing either blue or Edward's trademark colours (cream, white). Blue signifies loyalty, a trademark of Richard ("Loyaulté me lie") and that loyalty is to Edward.

After Edward's death, he is seen wearing a darker shade of blue (blue + black = loyalty and grief). He is wearing full black after the deaths of Edward his son and of Anne.

Edward IV

Edward wears mostly cream or beige. It could be interpreted as white (purity), in some cases even as yellow (generosity). I haven't found much about cream: maybe it was normal nobility clothing, even though the most common association with nobility is royal purple.

The most interesting thing about his outfits is when other characters match him to show their loyalty to him, most notably Elizabeth and Richard, but also George after his betrayal of Warwick.

Sometimes, him and Elizabeth alternate, with one scene where one is wearing cream and the other light blue and viceversa, which may represent their loyalty to each other. I think, but I am not sure, that the one who is wearing cream is the main focus of the scene, whereas the blue-wearer is showing their support. But I don't remember the context of the scenes, so this is just conjecture.

His colours are always light though, be it yellow or blue.

George Duke of Clarence

I would have expected George to wear a lot of green, considering it is the colour of envy, so I was quite surprised when I realised he didn't so much (he still does sometimes, though). I had noticed, however, that in his introduction scene, while both his brothers are wearing cream/beige (matching), he stands out with orange clothes.

What does orange represent? "Worthwhile ambition". Checks out.

He sheds the orange definitively by the time he joins Edward's side again (as shown in the top picture) and he wears progressively lighter clothing, possibly showing his redemption? By the time of Isabelle's death and his own, he is only wearing a white chemise. He is visibly wearing the chemise under black clothes (grief) at the masked party.

But, do you know who wears a lot of green?

Richard Earl of Warwick

Do I need to explain this one? He envies both Edward and the Woodvilles for the power they hold.

He wears some yellow, which represents generosity, so long as he is keeping up friendly appearances and up until his betrayal of Edward. He does not, however, wear white, because the last thing he wants is peace. He is just acting like it for what he thinks is Edward's sake.

Queen Elizabeth

White is the colour of peace (in the first scene she is trying to make peace with Edward). We also see specks of blue (loyalty), probably to her dead husband.

However, she is most often seen wearing yellow (generosity), most notably at her coronation, white (purity) and light blue (loyalty). Much like Richard, she often matches with Edward.

Queen Anne

Anne is quite funny. She changes colours quite a lot, sometimes matching Richard, her sister or her father, other times not matching anyone else.

I think it shows her loyalty is to the people she loves and not to loyalty itself, unlike her husband. However, she is also ambitious and follows her own agenda, but she's always careful not to step on any toes.

She is loyal, generous, reliable and sometimes envious, which all shows in her clothing throughout the show.

Literal Queen.

Margaret Beaufort

Say what you want about her, but I am in love. Her strength of character is incredible and she is so funny, but this is unrelated to the post.

Black = the colour of grief. Her character arc is loss and gain, but the latter only comes into play in the literal last minute of the show. So loss of everything and subsequent grief.

Red = the colour of martyrdom. She is the most pious and self-sacrificial character in the whole show.

Blue = undying loyalty to the House of Lancaster, despite the risk it poses to her life and that of the people around her.

Jacquetta Woodville

Blue all the way down. Her loyalty is not to a house, or to a King, but to her daughter.

Isabelle Neville, Duchess of Clarence

Lots of green, like her dad, but mostly in a lighter shade, showcasing innocence.

She is also quite envious of Elizabeth, but not to the point of starting a war about it, so less envious (therefore, less green) than her father.

In her case, green might even represent youth.

Anthony Woodville

Brown, the colour of honesty, stability and reliability.

He is not afraid to speak his mind to Elizabeth ("your marriage was fake"), but he is also her rock throughout the show.

#let me know your thoughts I had a lot of fun making this!!! #the white queen spoilers #the white queen #richard iii #edward iv #george plantagenet #elizabeth woodville #anne neville #warwick #margaret beaufort #isabelle neville #jacquetta woodville #anthony woodville

[tallerthantale]

What Does Aziraphale Actually Believe, Part 5: Temptation

This is a series of my takes on what Aziraphale believes through the timeline of the show. It is all my personal interpretation, and I am happy to hear others. You don’t need to read them all in order, but know that I am coming from a perspective on Aziraphale’s machinations that can be difficult for people without a psychology background to follow without the first two posts as a primer. The quick version is that Aziraphale has a set of beliefs that exist in some form or another within his mind. However, at any given moment, only some of them exist ‘with awareness’ or as I am putting it here, conscious!Aziraphale only has access to the beliefs that the rest of his mind, veil!Aziraphale, allows him to know about. The context of the moment will determine what lives on the surface and what stays buried behind the veil, whatever arrangement best prevents a threat to Aziraphale’s sense of self and makes whatever he is inclined to do feel right.

In this part I will be starting with the ox rib we skipped over last time, then moving forward through the cold open flashbacks between Job and Edinburgh. Edinburgh itself will be the start of the next post. The focus is on temptation, Crowley tempting Aziraphale, Aziraphale learning to do Crowley’s temptations, then Aziraphale learning to tempt Crowley himself. 3.7k words. I just keep getting carried away don’t I…  All hope was lost when I started doing end notes.

Temptations are Crowley’s department, all the way back to the apple. He was perhaps the original tempter. I have commented before that his description of himself as only ever having asked questions could be a description of him essentially tempting the other future demons to try to unionise heaven. He likes crafting a persuasive argument, and he makes them based on a model of what he knows other people believe, rather than his own beliefs. While Aziraphale shifts what he believes he believes, Crowley shifts the belief he is arguing, his actual beliefs stable but obscured. 

Are You Trying to Tempt Me?

“Not at all, angels can’t be tempted, can they?”

“Certainly not.”

“Well, then you’re free to try the food.”

This is, once again, a fallen angel, an entity who was an angel, ‘did the wrong thing’ and now isn’t an angel anymore because of it, telling a current angel that it is impossible for an angel to do the wrong thing. Once again, Aziraphale endorses the face value assertion. Aziraphale may be starting at times to adopt a view where Crowley’s fall didn’t happen because he did the wrong thing, but because God has an ineffable plan for Crowley. 

That said, it is still funny to me that Crowley makes this argument, given that he at least considers the fall to have been intended as a punishment for doing the wrong thing. He knows the argument will work on Aziraphale anyway, because Aziraphale likes to assure himself with absolutism. Crowley knows that by claiming Aziraphale is inherently incapable of being tempted he’s framing things in a way that mindfucks Aziraphale. He is offering Aziraphale options for how to rationalise his actions. He also makes a point of presenting the platter, and holding it and himself still, such that every action Aziraphale takes is within his own control.

Aziraphale tries the food because he wants to. He would not have realised that he wanted to if Crowley hadn’t put it in front of him. He might not have gone for it if Crowley hadn’t verbally handed him the rationalisation. Individual definitions of temptation may vary, but I’m pretty sure this qualifies under most of them. Or rather, the degree to which it qualifies depends on the value judgement we put on eating the ox. We wouldn’t generally say a dehydrated person was tempted to drink water. 

Does Aziraphale think that he was tempted after the fact? For the rest of the Job minisode he’s got bigger things to worry about, and we don’t see him again until 2533 years later. However, flashing forward to their interaction in Rome, my take would be that he does come to believe Crowley tempted him with the ox rib, but he feels positively about that. 

Aziraphale has a peculiar trust in Crowley, where he never rules out that any particular thing Crowley says is a lie, either directly or through misleading, but has utterly unshakable faith that Crowley will not substantively abuse their bond. He is not worried for a second that Crowley will blackmail him or harm him. I think that version of complex trust extends to believing that Crowley can and will tempt him, including in manipulative ways, but it will only ever land him somewhere he will in retrospect be happy to have gone. Aziraphale can believe Crowley manipulatively tempted him to pick up earthly pleasures, and also believe at the same time that Crowley did him a favour by tempting him, as an act of service. 

Aziraphale tends to sort things as morally bad when they feel wrong, and morally good when they feel right. Before trying the food, his desire to eat felt wrong, and he was at war with himself about it. He was being nudged towards something that felt wrong, he feels he might be being tempted, he feels conflicted, he is not at peace with himself. Once Crowley nudged him over the line, and he tried it, it felt right. His inner conflict was cured by the nudge, and now eating food feels right, and the temptation wasn’t like… a TEMPTATION temptation. Just a little tempting, as a treat. 

While I think Crowley hesitates to tempt frequently, largely out of fear Aziraphale will decide it was the bad kind of temptation, Crowley is actually very protected from that outcome. In the event that Aziraphale doesn’t enjoy the thing, he won’t pick it up as a habit, and the TEMPTATION will have failed. Any temptation that works is the good kind, so Aziraphale won’t take up a vice and then feel negatively about Crowley for the fact that he has the vice. Even so, the pattern puts a lot of heavy lifting and responsibility on Crowley, and I can see why Crowley wouldn’t push those lines often.

Not Quite Allies

We next see the duo at the Crucifixion, where Aziraphale laments that he is not consulted on policy decisions. It is a tacit admission that he would not have made the same call if he had been in charge. He doesn't have any authority over what heaven decides to do. Does he think God made the decision? Does he think God was playing games with the angels to see what they would go along with? I don't know, and I'm not sure Aziraphale knows what he thinks either. At this point I think he tries to not have opinions as often as he can, but isn’t always successful. He wants heaven to be different, but he doesn’t have a plan. Does he want to be consulted on policy decisions? Not if it won’t make a difference. If he is too outnumbered for expressing dissent to matter, that is a workplace politics nightmare, and he might have to fake a position to avoid retaliation. Best to avoid that. But what if it is a case of pluralistic ignorance? See end note.

Crowley had a temptation mission and didn’t like how it went. 

“Still a demon then?” 

“What kind of stupid question is that? Still a demon? What else am I going to be, an Aardvark?”

“...Saluteria.” 

Crowley’s bitter sarcasm, while partly from his already sour mood, still makes me think he doesn’t believe it is physically possible for him to stop being a demon. I don’t think Aziraphale has any material knowledge Crowley doesn’t. Aziraphale has no reason to have the hypothetical possibility in his mind that Crowley could stop being a demon. Sure it was just a fumbling awkward thing to say, but it had to be in some part of his mind first to come out of his mouth. As I have said before, when Aziraphale believes something inexplicably, it’s because he isn’t emotionally prepared to live in a universe where it isn’t true. Aziraphale isn’t emotionally prepared to live in a universe where Crowley will forever be a demon. That said, he’s going to have some fun with the fact that Crowley is a demon for now.

“I thought I’d try Petronius’s new restaurant. I hear he does remarkable things to oysters.”

“I’ve never eaten an oyster.”

“Oh! Oh, well, let me tempt you to… Oh, no, that, that’s your job, isn’t it?”

Gulp

Aziraphale tells Crowley it's his job to tempt him. It's a bit facetious, sure. But it's still in the context of genuinely encouraging him to go to an explicitly homoerotic fiction writer's aphrodisiac restaurant, so.... I have a long post about why Aziraphale wants Crowley to tempt him more, dubbed the spicy meta if you haven't read it yet. Long story short, it's a responsibility dodge for having desires in the first place. If Crowley tempts him, he can imagine himself to be accommodating Crowley’s desires rather than having his own. I would also speculate that given the popularity of the Roman baths Aziraphale has already figured out how to make the effort, at least as far as appearances go. At this point, is Aziraphale DTF on the grounds that it's just sushi with friction? I'm not sure I'd go that far, but I do think he is taking a baby step on a road that he knows is headed in that direction. See end note.

I don't think he thinks God would object, but I do think he imagines that returning Crowley to being an angel is a milestone on that road. He has seen the truth of Crowley's loneliness as a demon who can only go along with hell so far, and I think Aziraphale is already aiming for eventually creating a reformed heaven that wouldn't have cast Crowley out and could take him back. If he didn’t deserve to fall for Uz, why should Crowley be a demon for asking questions? Aziraphale treats Crowley’s demonic status as a temporary state. When he assigns qualities or features or allegiances to Crowley due to Crowley being a demon, Aziraphale doesn’t see that as an essentialization, because to him ‘demon’ is a transitory state of being, not an identity. That isn’t how Crowley sees it, and Aziraphale is frustratingly oblivious to that fact. 

Several hundred years later they are both stationed in Great Britain. Aziraphale refuses the first offer of the arrangement. Aziraphale likes doing good deeds. He gets carried away doing miracles for people. Doing good things makes him feel good, and he likes it when what he is supposed to be doing and that he enjoys doing gets to be the same thing. His only inkling towards accepting Crowley's proposal was a creature comfort one, "It is a bit damp." Notably, the offer was not one to cover or trade responsibilities, but to mutually stand down. The next time we see the arrangement offered, it's a bit different.

All the World’s a Stage

When Crowley and Aziraphale are facing the same direction, Season one goes extremely hard on always placing Aziraphale to Crowley's right, and Crowley to Aziraphale's left, all the way through the season building up to the body swap reveal. Except at the Globe. Here they switch back and forth, to show they are now comfortable changing roles.

At the Globe Aziraphale protests, before it is revealed that he has already done Crowley's temptations dozens of times. The number one flashback I want to see in Season 3 is the first time Aziraphale performed one of Crowley's temptation assignments from hell, and why he agreed to do it. My guess is that it was mostly the potential for Crowley to be doing blessings that sells him on it. Probably relating to Crowley's fondness for doing nice things for people, but also probably part of Aziraphale's hopes to get an angelic Crowley back. I would imagine that proving a demon can be saved and become an angel again would in his mind be a far greater good than the harm done by him personally performing the occasional minor temptation that was going to happen anyway.

It is also clearly observable that when Aziraphale loses the coin toss, is now responsible for doing Crowley’s temptation, and won’t be getting Crowley to do a blessing, he isn’t bothered by it. At some point off screen he has gained the ability to tempt people himself without it ‘feeling bad.’ He has also gained the making puppy eyes at Crowley ability. He can get Crowley to do things without asking out loud, and therefore without having to acknowledge that he was asking for something.

Aziraphale now has a card he can play to not take moral responsibility for temptation behaviour. As long as he is tempting someone, or baiting them into something, he didn’t actually do the thing himself, he didn't ask anyone to do that... We can observe that he is personally doing a job assigned from hell, and judge Aziraphale for not considering that to be getting his hands dirty. I certainly do. But Aziraphale is clinging to that distinction. He tempted humans, they still did it themselves. He only presented Crowley the opportunity to do a good deed, Crowley made the play a hit. The last step in the causal chain is what counts. Except when it doesn’t.

His initial objections to the arrangement are all for show. It’s the theme of the flashback, all the world’s a stage and Aziraphale and Crowley are playing their parts when they do their jobs, and can play each other’s parts just as well. But who is Aziraphale’s show of protest for? There is plenty of room for interpretation on this point, but it seems to me that any observation from heaven or hell of their shenanigans would get them both executed no matter how many times Aziraphale faux protested about it first. 

If Aziraphale’s sanity hinges on believing God is ok with what he has gotten up to, so he can assume he believes God already knows and doesn’t care, and the institution of heaven would condemn him either way, why the show? He doesn’t put up a show with the snacks. He’s just an angel that likes snacks. That works for him. Why can’t he just be an angel who’s friends with a demon? Because he isn’t at peace with it yet. His conflicted feelings about Crowley and about their allegiances are making a mess in the back of his mind, and the performance he is putting on is for himself.

Aziraphale’s initial protest lets him believe that Crowley made him do it. But isn’t he also, at the same time, learning to tempt others and not take responsibility for what they do? Yes. So does he believe the tempter is responsible, or does he believe the tempted is responsible? He CAN believe either. They are options he has, when his mind constructs his conscious experience. Whatever lets him do what intuitively feels right at the time without damaging his sense of self gets loaded into his awareness. 

The Bastille

Princess Peach is looked up in the Bastille. Aziraphale cannot bring himself to simply take Crowley out to lunch. That wouldn't be a very angelic thing to do, taking a demon out for a lunch date. But alas, his encouragement of the temptation demon to tempt him more hasn't gone in the direction he had hoped, and so yet again, he must personally do the tempting himself. How can he, an angel of the lord, tempt a temptation demon into a lunch date without it being a lunch date? Well, if circumstances arose such that he happened to owe the demon a favour, the angelic thing to do would be to treat him to lunch of course. It wouldn't be a date per se, it would be courtesy. Maybe he can keep finding creative ways to owe the demon favours. 

Once again we can ask, how much of this nonsense is keeping up appearances for heaven? I think it is basically zero. Aziraphale believes God already knows everything he and Crowley have done, and they have done it with God’s indifference if not blessing. Aziraphale will go to some effort maintaining appearances around the archangels, they wouldn’t like him fraternising. But I still don’t think the Bastille nonsense was an act for them. In my opinion he knows heaven’s management doesn't care if Aziraphale is out to lunch with Crowley because it's a date or if it's repayment for the Bastille rescue, it’s treason either way. There is a case to be made that Aziraphale is only ever worried heaven will give him a slap on the wrist for his nonsense, but in that interpretation I still think the distinction between lunch date and lunch repayment remains a distinction Aziraphale would know the archangels don’t care about.

So if Aziraphale isn’t putting the charade on for God, because God already knows, and he isn’t putting it on for heaven’s leadership, because the difference doesn’t mean anything to them, why is he doing it at all? Because needing the repayment excuse to take Crowley out for crepes isn't about maintaining an outward facing concept of appearances, but an internal one. 

Aziraphale has an internal sense of what he prefers, and what feels right. His feelings towards Crowley create a conflict between his sense of what he prefers and what feels right. He prefers to buy Crowley crepes. Inviting a demon out to lunch for a date doesn't feel right. Repaying a favour feels right, problem solved. Of course what would really feel right would be for Crowley to be doing the pursuing and tempting. Then he would just be accommodating the demon’s desires, not having desires of his own. Crowley isn’t taking on the tempting / romancing role without some very aggressive subtext paving the way, but by learning how to do Crowley's temptation assignments, Aziraphale has also learned how to tempt Crowley.

Aziraphale can believe he is acting in accordance with God's ineffable will as long as what he prefers to do can also feel right, and he can get very creative about what feels right. It probably felt very righteous to swap clothes with the executioner. It wouldn't have felt righteous to personally kill the man with his own hands, but Aziraphale didn't do that, so in his mind he isn't responsible for the death.

There is a poetic justice argument to be made in favour of killing the executioner, and Crowley does make it. But that isn't how Aziraphale understands it. We see in the modern era that Aziraphale claims to have never killed anything before. Unless he personally does the killing directly, it doesn't count. He doesn't consider himself responsible for the death of the fish in his sushi either, contributing to the market demand for animal products is even more abstracted than changing the executioner's clothes. 

Part 5/10

End Notes

On policy decisions: There is a Game Theory issue, where if one person can’t make a difference, and you risk destruction for speaking out, the right choice is not to speak out. Unless secretly a lot of people are all making the same calculation. Say you have a group of people, and there is a vote between green and purple. If purple wins, everyone gets 20$ and the organisers are fired. If green wins, everyone who voted purple is shot. The organisers say they will fine anyone who promotes voting purple. Everyone says they will vote green. Is it in your interest to vote purple? Only if you know you will win. Everyone says they will vote green, so you can’t ever have confidence that purple will win, even though purple winning is clearly the better outcome. This sort of trap hinders a lot of attempts to form unions IRL, even when a strong majority do want to form one. 

If Aziraphale wants to coup heaven, he’ll need to know he has enough angels siding with him to win. He isn’t in a position to pull off so much as a sneaky headcount while stationed on earth, and given how isolated heaven keeps angels I’m not sure he’d make any progress stationed in heaven. I think there are differences he’d like to make in how heaven runs, but it isn’t clear if arguing the point would make progress or get him a one way ticket to a scrivener’s closet with a wiped brain. If everyone in heaven really is on team whack the kids, it makes sense for Aziraphale to just keep his head down. But what if like 95% of the angels actually agree with Aziraphale, and are also just keeping their heads down, because everyone is individually incorrectly assuming the majority are on team whack the kids, because everyone is coerced into saying that they are on team whack the kids? Then we might see his unwillingness to force the issue in a different light. The second version feels very Terry Pratchett to me. 

On sushi with friction: I personally don’t think Aziraphale would have a romantic or sexual relationship with a human. I think he would consider it out of line with his responsibilities as a guardian / caretaker of humanity. I think at this point, that is the only reason he wouldn’t. Aziraphale parallels a lot of IRL behaviour of people with shame around their sexuality or sex drive, and it’s worth observing and commenting on, or feeling represented by for those who do. However I think his hang-ups with Crowley, wanting Crowley to tempt him, approach avoidance about it ect… are more about Crowley being on 'opposite sides' than about Aziraphale having shame responses around sex. That is just my perspective though, as with everything else here. Differing opinions are encouraged, I’m happy to hear what other people think.

On killing the Executioner: Theoretically modern Aziraphale could have not loaded the memory of the incident with the executioner into his awareness. We see when they go to the Ritz in S1E1 that Aziraphale’s memory of the time period has gaps, and he mostly remembers the crepes date. That said, we know from Neil’s recorded commentary on S1E3 that at least as far as Neil sees it, Aziraphale doesn’t take responsibility for the executioner’s death because that's just how he processes events at the time. 

#good omens #good omens meta #go meta #aziraphale #anthony j crowley #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #ineffable spouses #what does aziraphale actually believe

[tears0fsatan]

Could you also do an angst/comfort oneshot with "Please don't scare me like that again. I can take alot of things, but not loosing you." And "Just get the fuck over here and let me hold you." For bottom Mammon? I modified the last quote hope you don't mind!

✦ ⊹ ˚˖ warnings... gn!reader [no pronouns used], relationship isn't specified, maybe a lil ooc [esp. towards the end but oh well], would u consider a summoning to be kidnapping, kinda sappy lololol

 :¨·.·¨ ♥︎  a.n... MY DARLINGS, MY SWEETS, MY ANGELS, REJOICE FOR I HAVE RETURNED momentarily!!!!! thank u for bein patient with me i'll do my best to sprinkle in a post here n there heh anw!! ofc i don't mind love! thank u for sending in so many submissions omg i feel so loved ;'D

the sound of your laughter could be heard bouncing off the walls of devildom's plaza, followed by the sound of the avatar of greed's yelling. you wiped away the tears that pricked the corners of your eyes, taking in shaky deep breaths in an attempt to calm yourself.

"it's not funny! i don' get why yer laughin so hard, i'm tellin ya, i nearly died!" despite his words, there was a large smile on mammon's face. he looked at you with an empty glare, but all it did was send you into another fit of laughter.

"i'm sorry, i'm sorry, it's just," you couldn't stop the giggles that bubbled out of you, "it's so funny how you thought it was a good idea to scam a high priestess."

"it wasn't funny! them witches embedded all sorta magic in their weapons after that! it was so bad that i couldn't show my face in the human world for a century! plus it wasn't a scam, it was a one-sided beneficial agreement!" mammon defended himself, though he too couldn't help but let a few chuckles slip at the absurdity of the story.

he crossed his arms in front of his chest while grumbling simultaneously, "ain't my fault the dumb bastard didn't realise." you sighed at his comment, though the ends of your lips curled up in amusement.

"good thing they didn't get you or else we wouldn't be here right now." you joked, pulling him closer to you so you could rub his head. the demon yelped and tried to escape your grasp while muttering 'hands off my noggin' under his breath, though it was obvious he enjoyed the action as he put no strength behind his attempt.

everything was going well, so well that the two of you didn't notice the magic circle that appeared below mammon's feet and the sparks that began to cover his legs. there was no noise to indicate what was happening, and the two of you didn't realise until the demon just... vanished out of thin air.

you blinked in surprise at the quick flash of light followed by mammon's sudden disappearance. your hand that had been wrapped around his shoulder limply fell down to your side. your eyebrows furrowed in utter confusion and your feet were stuck in place.

"ma-mammon?" you hesitantly called out, your eyes roamed the plaza to try and spot him. the thought of it being a joke slowly started to dissipate the longer he was gone, and a heavy weight began nestling itself within your chest.

"mammon?!" your voice holds more urgency this time, your head frantically looks around in hopes you'd spot his discernible white hair in the crowd.

you don't.

you ran around the plaza, turning over every rock you saw but no matter where you looked, he just wasn't there. the sound of your heart beating wildly rang in your ears and your vision gradually blurred to the point you could hardly make out anything through the tears, yet you still couldn't tear your mind away from the missing avatar of greed.

you tried calming yourself, taking in deep breaths in hopes it would, at the very least, help you think rationally. you shakily unlocked your DDD to try and contact him, only to no avail. it doesn't help your growing anxiety in the slightest, but it does give you time to organise your thoughts.

your thumb shakily hovered over lucifer's contact, unsure of whether to inform the oldest demon lord of what's occurred. you try to recall if any of the brothers have mentioned something like this happening, and your mind can't help but wander to the conversation you two were having before mammon poofed out of thin air.

the only reasonable explanation you could think was is a summoning, given as there was no prior warning to his abrupt disappearance. your thoughts begin to divulge into a different sort of worry with your new found knowledge, mind scrambling at the things they could be doing to him while you were stuck frozen in place.

the knowledge that you are essentially powerless in this situation leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. with a heavy mind, you make your way back to the house of lamentation.

the walk back home and the moments leading up to you burying yourself in his bed were a blur, you hadn't realised just how much time had passed by as none of the brothers came to bother you. on top of that, your DDD had been silent too, there was no sign that mammon had even received your messages.

the occasional sniffle from the lump underneath the pile of blankets was the only indication of life in mammon's cold and dark room. you weren't sure how much time had passed since the incident, not that you wanted to know anyways.

a sudden creak from the doorway has jerked you out of your reverie, your head whips toward the direction of the noise and the tears well up before you can control yourself.

the light from the hallway illuminates mammon's silhouette and you can barely make out his disheveled appearance. a sob wrecks out of your throat and you scramble off his bed. some pillows and a portion of his duvet is on the ground but you don't notice, attention solely focused on the figure leaning on the door frame.

your movements were clumsy and your limbs felt heavy after not moving for ages, but you found yourself standing in front of him soon enough.

mammon avoided your gaze, his eyes, which you noted were unusually nervous, darted around the room. he had a complicated look on his face, as if he was feeling a myriad of emotions and couldn't control them.

a shaky breath made its way past your lips as you took in the sight of him. the demon flinched at your reaction, eyes quickly glancing at you before looking around the room.

the silence constricted around your throat, which made it hard to swallow. your mouth felt dry and your thoughts were jumbled, making it difficult for you to find the right thing to say.

it was clear that mammon felt the same, so you chose to blurt out the next thing that came to mind.

"fuck- just, please- just get the fuck over here and let me hold you." you somehow managed to croak out, your throat felt as if it was closing up but you paid it no mind. the demon flinched at the roughness of your voice but slowly trudged toward you. his eyes are cast downwards, focused solely on the ground and his feather light steps.

his steps started out slow and hesitant, before he rushed into your open arms. he buried his face into the crook of your neck and your hands tightly interlocked behind his back.

you could hear him take a deep breath and his hands gripped the back of your clothes tighter than before. the tears dripped down your face before you could make a move to stop it, though by the way mammon's fists clenched around the material of your top, you assumed that he wasn't as bothered by it as you had imagined.

"please, don't- don't scare me like that again. i can take a lot of things, but not losing you." your voice wavered, displaying your desperation to mammon without him having to see your face. the demon's eyes welled up at the sincerity behind your words and he couldn't stop the tears that trickled down his cheeks.

"i know you're a powerful demon lord 'nd what not, sniffle, but i'm still gonna worry about you." you subconsciously tried to pull him impossibly closer, to which the demon didn't bother to try and fight against, he needed this as much as you did.

a muffled "'m sorry." could be heard from where mammon had his face buried in the crook of your neck, with his forehead resting against your shoulder. the material of your top grew increasingly damp, but you weren't in any place to call him out for it.

you squeezed the demon in your arms ever so slightly, "it wasn't your fault." your tone was sharp and curt, despite your shaky voice from earlier, leaving no room for mammon to refute your words.

the two of you stood at the empty doorway for a moment, simply taking the time to bask in one another's much needed presence. with him in your arms, you felt the knots in your mind slowly untangled themselves and left you feeling relieved.

of course, you still had a lot to discuss with the avatar of greed but that could wait until he was ready. although his appearance was considerably shabbier compared to how well kept he usually looked, he wasn't injured. even while holding him, you had taken the initiative to inspect now that you were closer to him.

"why don't we go lay down? i'm sure you're tired, darling." you softly muttered, not wanting to disturb the peace. you could feel his head moving up and down against your shoulder, though he made no move to lift his head.

your hands tenderly cupped his cheeks, pulling his face away from where he had hid himself. your thumbs wiped the tears that continued to run down his cheeks and all you could offer him was a small, bitter smile.

"we can deal with it tomorrow. for now, i really just want to keep you in my arms." mammon let out a watery chuckle, his sorrowful expression from earlier was nowhere to be found.

© 2022 TEARS0FSATAN. please don’t repost, modify or translate my works anywhere!

#4D0N1S event #៹ ࣪˖. 🎧 light mode﹒☆ #obey me #omswd #obey me x reader #obey me x gn reader #obey me x male reader #obey me x you #obey me angst #obey me mammon #mammon x reader #mammon x gn reader #mammon x male reader #mammon x you #mammon angst #not beta'd #please forgive the switches between present and past tense #if there are any #this has been collecting dust in my drafts for TWO mfing months

[samobservessonic]

We open this issue on a bunch of badniks tormenting a young boy called Tufftee, because like in the early Archie comics, the badniks could talk when the plot requires them to. Once they introduce a larger villain roster, there’ll be less call for them to talk Regardless, Tufftee is interesting because he’s the younger brother of a much better-known Sonic character…

…Sally Acorn!

Now, I’m a big fan of Sally in general, so I’ve been looking forward to getting to this story, which I didn’t realise would turn up so quickly. She only actually appears at the beginning and end of the story, but she’s here! It’s Sally! I also find it a funny coincidence that over five years later, Sally would also be given a brother in the Archie Comics, albeit an older brother called Elias. Now, I do genuinely think that these two characters were made wholly independently of each other and their creators probably didn’t even knew the other character exists (especially since I believe this is Tufftee’s only appearance), but it’s just kind of wild that out of all the characters to randomly give a brother to, both comics chose Sally

Anyway, after Tails rudely awakens Sonic (who is less than happy about that), Sally reveals that her brother wanted to play hero like Sonic and borrowed a pair of his old power boots, which Sonic thinks could still contain a bit of his power. Sonic races off before Tails has a chance to ask what to do and then we get the usual page of Sonic racing through zones, doing action hero stuff. I don't really talk about these parts as much, but I like that they include them as a “this is Sonic doing stuff like he does in the games” thing Speaking of stuff from the games, it’s only a cameo here, but we get our first appearance of the Special Zone:

Now, in StC, the Special Zone has a narrative importance that it doesn’t have in most other Sonic spin-offs. It’s treated as a place within itself and it’s also home to the Chaotix of all people, but we’ll get to that later. For now, Sonic has Tufftee to save

Which he achieves easily enough. We get a few pages of Tufftee being tormented by the badniks, before Sonic comes along to defeat them and rescue him. I love that one of the critters in that panel above straight up looks like someone's pet cat

Tufftee manages to save Sonic at the last minute, which reassures him in his own mind that he’s a hero, even if Sonic isn’t very enthusiastic about it. Also, I didn’t post this panel, but there was a part earlier on where we see that Tufftee couldn’t control the speed that the shoes magically granted him, as a little “there’s more to being Sonic than just going really fast”

We end this issue with the siblings being reunited and Sonic bluntly taking his shoes back from Tufftee, with the warning that they only work for him. Like I said before, I don’t believe we see Tufftee again after this? I can understand why, since StC already has Tails as the younger character working hard to prove himself to his hero, so we don’t need another character basically filling that same role in the comic. Even so, I like it when Tufftee appears with Sally in StC fanwork. Y’know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone make an AU where Sally has both her brothers, Tufftee and Elias, but idk I think it might be interesting? Sally has a lot of middle sibling traits already Also, to wrap us up, I just wanted to talk about the art here, which is a vastly different style to the first two issues. For this issue, we had Casanovas on art duty and, while I haven’t been posting about the non-Sonic stories, this more-detailed style is actually closer to the high-fantasy styles used in the other comics featured in StC at the time. It’s definitely a ‘your mileage may vary’ sort of thing, but I like it purely for the nostalgia of this era of StC. We’ll be seeing a lot more of the fantasy-setting angle in regards to Tails’s backstory at some point as well

#sam observes sonic #sonic the comic #tufftee acorn #sonic the hedgehog #sally acorn #miles tails prower #stc issue 3

[tinylilvalery]

people are taking matthews quote from a recent interview out of context abt tomgreg (he said he didnt play it as romantic but thinks it's fun that the fans see it that way) and claiming it means tomgreg is dead and he hates it... i'm so frustrated with this goddamn fandom smh...

It's interesting that he said that (I haven't seen the interview) considering how he acted Tom, but also people gotta realise

1. It's shipping... You can ship things whether actors ship it themselves or not. Hell, William Shatner has said time and time again that Jim Kirk is heterosexual, and yet you can watch TOS and see how Jim interacts with Spock and like... I really don't need to explain, I'm sorry sksnsk. So I look at Tomgreg the same way if it's really true MattMac doesn't ship it (again, idk what he said, but if he did say that these are my thoughts on shipping even when an actor doesn't). I have very close friendships and I don't behave in the way Tom does with Greg, but that's just me 🤷‍♀️. To summarise I'd say, it's like death of the author actor, because the performance itself transcends the actor's comments on it after the fact.

2. Actors aren't solely responsible for the character and the characters relationships W others, therefore they can't really take full credit of the character. Yes they embody and bring them to life, but there's also the script (multiple writers), the showrunner, as well as editing and direction as all the other massive contenders as to who creates the characters and the relationships on screen. As a writer myself, I do find it really um,, like very irritating¿ that people keep anointing actors as the sole creator of a character. They interpret script and bring it to life with direction but they didn't write the character and so they didn't create it. Kieran Culkin's acting practice is that he doesn't like to know where his character is heading, so he lives in the present and episode to episode when acting Roman. What I mean by this, is regardless of Kieran, there was ALWAYS a set path for Roman as to where he was headed in each season, and it didn't matter what Kieran was up to, his plotline still existed despite not knowing it. Does that make sense? My point is, whether an actor knows it or not, things are written in by writers, and I consider Tomgreg VERY MUCH a part of the text and subtext of the show.

So to summarise, if MattMac really said he didn't play Tomgreg as romantic and doesn't see them that way he basically achieves Death of The Actor because his performance speaks louder to me than his comments about his approach to acting Tom. Tom looks at Greg with such adoration that I've never seen him look at another character, he speaks to him in tones that he doesn't speak to other characters in, so again, his acting transcends his post comments. And SECONDLY, MattMac's comments still aren't a ship killer to me because he didn't actually create Tom alone. He interpreted the character, brought him to life, and definitely would have had say + freedom in his performance considering what we know of Succ's production, but he didn't CREATE Tom. That credit is owed to the writers who literally wrote Tom, and wrote Tomgreg's scenes how they did. The credit is also owed massively to editors in how they edited all the many hours of footage to portray Tom and Greg's relationship as we saw it.

We all know Succession is an incredible show. There's so many undercurrents happening all at once that surface at various times in forms of parallels and callbacks. I think it's funny to think that despite the pedigree of Succession, something as massive as Tomgreg was some sort of shared hallucination. It wasn't. Tomgreg is part of the sauce, and they're an intentional ingredient.

#Tomgreg #succession hbo

[carnivoreofthesea]

in your swap AU; how does pike wizard/amber, slime wizard/goobert and most importantly (the precious and need to be protected) lonely wizard would look like ?

are they now grimora's pupils now or still with mags but they are now undead ?

HI OK IM SO EXCITED TO ANWSER THIS BECAUSE I AM SOOO SO NORMAL ABOUT IT HEHAHDJAKDJADJ!!!

THERES A LOTOF STUFF UNDER THE CUT

So with magmento (mags), I did originally plan to have his pupils be in the crypt but it was getting too long. They're grimmoras pupils traits, But they have His students names and a few key features.

Pike wizard -> Decapitated Scholar

"Do not pity me, It was all worth my while."

Being a mortician before she died, She had made new ways to cremate the dead and be preserved longer. However she ended up dying from a mixture of chemical poisoning after inhaling some of the ingredients used in said embalming and an unfortunate accident. Her skin had become more frail and she had restered her head on one of the spikes on her fence. Poor baby got impailed without even realising it :[. She hopes that she could use her body to make a less deadly way of preservation, To no avail yet. She looks pretty similar to normal Amber but instead of a helmet she wears a mourning veil! Also her little spike is a singular fence post that looks a lot more fancy. She has the same concept as Amber, Hurting herself to be more appreciated by her scrybe (although its more the concept of death she was trying to pay respects to) and still being in servitude when the player comes.

Goobert (my baby boy <3) -> Goo pile

"Please, Please! Arghhhh... Battle me! I'm promise I am more than just a gnarled mess!"

Died in a horrible accident, Something that contorted and squished him past being recognized. His death was more famous than the life he lived, So now he strives to be remembered for something other than his death! He's trying so hard, please just give him affection :[. a lil kissie on the head for always trying new things and working to be good at them! He looks pretty similar to goobert, if not more. Gross <3. I’M SORRY BUT HE WOULD BE NASTY… He would be a pile of just random sludge and liquids, if you’re lucky you could find bits of melted skin? Purrrhapes his ghostly body would piece itself together but even then he would look like a nasty little pile of grossness. I love you babay… but you are nasty.. I would still hold him though!! Just put the goofy goober in a jar again please.

Lonely wizard (ALSO MY BABAY!!) -> Loney Dominguez

"PLAY A GAME! PLEASE?! I need something to do!"

He was quite young when he died, Being a coma was terrible considering he was such a rambunctious kid! He couldnt see or hear or move, but he could feel his body and think. Even when he died, Magmento trapped him in his coffin out of fear. He's not good with kids... Especially ones that are 6 FEET TALL. That may have been related to his death but I haven't decided yet. Also think of just a huge coffin that's hidden away under the main room, the player finds it and he’s just like. “Oh yeah, that's the crazy kid, He bites. I think.” And then you just see the coffin violently shake and scream. He has normal anatomy and would just be a very VERY rotting body. Like yes, he has formed, just melty and turning into goop. Maybe a few bugs live with him so he isn’t as lonely… Also think it would be funny if he still had a hyper fixation about wizards out of spite. Let my baby like his wizards damnit.

James cobb -> James Hobbes

"Oh neat. A player, Let's do it."

A mellow player who died... How did he die? His tombstone says he drowned but he doesn't have any signs of it like the others do. In fact he might even tell you that it's fake. He won't tell you how he actually died but as long as it solves the puzzle who cares? He's probably the most normal guy you'll meet, Also is very tired. Like. let the guy nap. please. strangely modern. Uses slang and sometimes makes suggestive comments but he's a baby girl for that. He’s actually a fairly healthy corpse, Only slightly pale and occisonally goes stiff. His hands are deathly cold but at least his hair is still a bright red. Good for him! Good for him :].

GRIMETHS ARE SO SILLY PDSUIAUFHIUFHW MANIC LAUGHTER

James Cobb -> Kaycee Cobb

“Don’t you wonder what’ll happen? C’mon, I wanna find out.”

IM TALKING F. R. E. AY KAYYYY. SHE IS MY FAVORITE CAN YOU TELL BATTING MY EYELASHES SO MUCH WHEN I TALK ABOUT HER. ANyways she’s the sillayest wizard ever. She doesn’t take herself seriously and just straight up tells the player that she enjoys being stuck in there. Its literally her dream and she uses magic to fuck herself up. She can finally have gender goals of occasionally turb herself into whatever the fuck she wants! Don't like feeling of skin? SIMPLY BECOME A SKINLESS BEING FOR A LIL! god i love her sm… She definitely indulges in the whole wizard shit and has a whole over the top outfit. other than that still very greasy <3

Lonely wizard -> Royal Wizard (GOD I LOVE HIM)

“YARGGGG! WATCH ME SKILLS, YE LANDLUBBER!!”

Oh my god. Peek tism. Category five tism events. He's a pirate obsessed wizard who has a problem with summoning things. Specifically. a ford f150. vehicular manslaughter never ends. He's very confident in his skills and thinks he should be a head wizard or at the very least a card, However he can only do a few spells… God he’s so silly I love him. He's a low poly pirate that I’m thinking of making black. give mah boy some pirate dreads!!! Why? Because IT LOOKS COOL. Anyways he locked away in a ship in a bottle by Grimeth as a “final test”. He's never getting out.

Goobert -> Stinking mass

“Ohhhh… Yes… Perhaps I’ll cast a spell that will finally make me disappear..”

Oughhh… Gender dysophoria baby… I love you poor baby. Turned himself into a pile of… Something? Honestly he doesn't even know. His final test is to turn back, And he’s trying real hard! The thing is, It would probably be easier if he was going to transform into who originally was but he didn't like how liked he looked… He wants to transform into something better to prove himself to be better than how he looked. god my baby. i need to hold him.

Bone lord -> Eye.

Need I say more? Its a painted eye in a black room that speaks in fucking wing dings.

#inscryption #inscryption au #inscyption #inscryption swap au #swap au #au #alternate universe #oh my god i love them #ALSO ALREADY DRAWING BABAY GURL KAYCEES #I LOVE HWR SM #you dont understand #I LOVE HER #ALSO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK!! #THIS WAS WONDERFUL ANON KISSING YOU!! #anon ask #anonymous #go submit asks!!! #ask #ask me anything

[marengogo]

QUICKIE - 2: Watchu Want Me To Say Tho?!...

Listening to INDIGO by RM on repeat. STILL. YES. I KNOW.

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

–🐺–🐺–🐺–

I know, I know, I know .. I have blogs to complete, comments to reply and asks waiting for me to answer; I know. There are reasons for the lack thereof, of course, but today, today I will not stay here and bore you with My Lifes’ Whys, I’m currently feeling a heavy wave of sadness, which I am starting to finally recognise as a sign that my period is looming. Used to only have pain, but now I’ve evolved to heave-ass sadness ungracefully tiptoeing its way into depression, which given some personal stuff and very recent Tannie Jin specifically stuff, couldn’t have come at a worse time. But I digress, as I said, today I shall not share negative stuff.

Instead, I’d like to share a cute/funny/peculiar thing that I realised/noticed Jikook do from time to time when they start something with each other and one of them proceeds to perhaps take it a bit too far until the other is left in a situation where they are like: “Whatchu Want Me To Say Tho?! …” NGL, most of it is usually JM, but JK has his fair share;source: Trust Me Bro. As this is a “quickie” I’ll bring up 3 examples for each. Let’s start with JM.

#1 … IT’S JUST A GAME THO.

Time & Place: RUN BTS 15 - Aired March 14, 2017.

This was the second episode of “The Spy Who Returned” 3 parts RUN BTS episodes. At the very beginning of the episode, they are playing a “tolerance” game where they are divided into couples and each has to say something that they don’t like or that bothered them about the other and the other has to not be offended and “sincerely” state that they “understand/I see”. The couples were: Tae & Namjoon, JM & Jin and JK and Hobi (Yoongi was the host).

JK & Hobi went last and though JK had nothing to say, Hobi did, lots to say in fact 😂, which in itself would have been enough but JM, out of nowhere, had the not-so-brilliant impulse to get up in there, uncalled, to question JK about a mysterious toothbrush. JK is clearly taken-aback like all of us watching I am sure given that he and JM are in the same team. Yet JM doesn’t stop, he clearly wants to hear something from JK in regards to … the toothbrush. JK does reply, and says that the toothbrush wasn’t his and JM stands there speechless, seemingly not expecting that answer … oh the confusion of it all! …  which is why JK’s “it wasn’t me” actually really felt to me more like a: “Whatchu Want Me To Say Tho?! …” .

This to me in “Whatchu Want Me To Say Tho?! …”-vibe is very close to the “JK hugs me when he sleeps” moment which happened at the Sinchon Fansign - May 15, 2015.

#2 SO MUCH FOR PRESENTS …

Time & Place: FESTA 2017 - Aired June 12, 2017.

We’ve actually already discussed this in a different previous post. This was one of the few times where JK wasn’t able to even try and reply to something. If it were me, and we were just friends, you’d have to wait for me to gift you something on your next birthday: YES I’M PETTY. Yet, homeboi pulled up that same year with a trip to Tokyo as a gift, so obviously the problem wasn’t the question itself. What was the problem? We will most likely never know, but in that very moment JK’s silence was definitely a: “Whatchu Want Me To Say Tho?! …” silence.

#3 SO YOU GETTING MARRIED UH?

Time & Place: WEVERSE LIVE in Busan - October 15, 2022.

This is one of my recent personal favs, because as opposed to the Jikook VLIVE - June 21, 2020, which also had to do with a marriage related question, this time around JK tried his very best to not divert the convo and hold his own. Yeah, he really did … but JM was not having it. He really wasn’t. How many of you have said “Yoongi Marry Me” for fun? How many of them have said “Yoongi Marry Me” for fun, including JM? At times even changing the Subject all in good fun.

This time around, JK simply mentioned that saw “Jungkook Marry Me” and all hell broke loose. Yeah, for some reason, JM wasn’t having it, and so began a little back-and-forth between the two at the end of which JM accepted that in summary JK “just saw the sign and meant to take no action”. JM smiled/laughed, got up and got out of frame. JK also smiled, watching JM leave, with a: “Whatchu Want Me To Say Tho?! …” giggle, like I don’t even know what just happened tho! aaand he proceeded to wait for him to get back like:

Jiminah … 😬.

And now it’s JK’s turn. Differently from JM this young man is a tad more determined in getting his answers and JM indulges, for the most part, in fact I’ve noticed that he’s never just kept silent, but don’t let it fool you, cause at times, whatever answer he provides wasn’t the answer JK was looking for; lest we forget that JM is indeed the HYUNG … but yeah, let’s get it!

#1 SOMETHING ABOUT THIS PICTURE …

Time & Place: JinJiKook VLIVE in Osaka - December 15, 2016.

Jin and Jimin decide to have a candy-centric episode of EatJin, and Jimin seems to be a bit on his mischievous streak right from the bat, but Jin, being the outstanding eldest hyung that he is doesn’t seem to mind at all and cutely goes along with his playful dongsaeng. All is well thus far until the bell rings and, you’ve guessed, it is JK.

By this point Jin, like all of us, is still very much oblivious to any argument/quarrel which might have happened between JM and JK, one may even dare say that frankly my dears, he didn’t give a damn! But JM had damns to give and so he did, testing JK on the other side of Jin’s closed hotel room. Jin is now starting to get confused and to this point, JM has full control of the whole situation, until JK whips out his cellphone. 

Quite clearly JM didn’t take JK seriously, at first, he even egged him to post “whatever questionable pic” JK thought he had but that was Jin’s danger-alert-signal moment: no questionable pic was going to be uploaded on his watch and that’s how the doors were finally opened to the maknae. So, once JK got his way into the room, Jin, and us watching, clearly could sense something going on, but as for what exactly, nobody had a good clue. Like anything else revolving around Jikook afterall, for example, we may know that they once fought and JK ended up crying in the rain (FESTA 2020 - Aired June 12, 2020), but as to what caused the argument? … 🤷🏾‍♀️.

JM at this point is still trying to have it his way don’t ask me why, how would I know?! But JK was high on courage that day and ever so casually, the moment JM tried to leave the room, he once again whipped out his phone, pulled up a particular pic which we got to see later as JK did momentarily uploaded and it seemed he had something like a hickey on his neck and simply said “I took a good selfie” and JM quickly sat back down and replied “I won’t go then, all right” in a very: “Whatchu Want Me To Say Tho?! …” resigned manner. Then again, if the selfie was just that, a good selfie, JM could have easily said “sure, go ahead and show them”, but that’s not what happened right? 

#2 STILL, YOU TURNED IT OFF 

Time & Place: Jungkook (eventually TaeJiJinKook) VLIVE in New Jersey - May 19, 2019.

Yet again, Jin and Jimin were up to their shenanigans with our maknae, who just wanted to show his face to ARMY. That’s all he wanted but the other two ended the stream. So what does one do? If you are a JM you post a quick apology video on twitter, but if you are a JK you start your own stream: obviously. 

This stream is supposed to be just you doing exactly what you wanted to do to begin with, show your face to ARMY, but then … all of a sudden there is a cough in the background and the plan folds when do plans every work anyways?!, immaright?.

Hence starts a whole convo summarising what just happened in Jin’s room leading up to JK’s “cutting off” during which not only does JM explain himself, he also apologises and lets JK once again know that he loves him. Yet, JK still stresses that, he just👏🏾 can’t 👏🏾let👏🏾 it 👏🏾go👏🏾 at which point JM decides that it is time for him to leave in a very: “Whatchu Want Me To Say Tho?! …” fashion, more like “what else do you want me to say?!”. 

#3 I SEE HOW IT IS …

Time & Place: FESTA 2022 - June 14, 2022.

Emotions are running high, slightly tipsy, but still hella high as the boys start getting us ready to momentarily part from them. Within all of this there is a lot, A LOT, of banter there are even first official talk of a PJM1 and everyone was hella excited, ARMY and TANNIES alike except for a certain JK who playfully made it known that he didn’t appreciate not knowing about progress in said PJM1, not once, not twice, not thrice, but 4 times (didn’t put the 4th time in the pic because, you know, aesthetics 😌).

JM does try to explain that he’d told everyone that they were all more than welcome to go and listen to him working if they wanted though apparently JK wanted his hyung to go to him instead, but that is a different story … in addition, when Namjoon pointed out that Hobi will always be the first for JM, both JM and Hobi quickly worked together to deny the “accusations” but at this point I think JK was very much speeding on the “I AM UPSET”-train, so much so that none of it seemed to matter and he very much and very blatantly ended up telling JM:

At which JM did reply, quickly, shyly and all the colors in between, that “I am sorry” but in a very: I mean “Whatchu Want Me To Say Tho?! …” way, and who knows, were the cameras not on he might have had more to add, but, we’ll never know!

There are actually many more moments I can think of, and much funny at that, but this was supposed to be a quickie, and I can see that it ain’t damn … So let me just leave you all with this, go make myself productive, and not stress about life for a second or two. Hope you all have a great week, okay? Okay! 

Always respectfully yours 🫰🏾💗 pink heart in honour of Jin,

Marengo.

#QUICK JKK #Jikook #Watchu Want Me To Say Tho Jikook #Youtube

[langernameohnebedeutung]

You mentioned Meredith Vickers from Prometheus in blorbo post and HOLY SHIT, you've thrown me right back in the blorbo trenches. I watched that movie to kill time, and came out of gnawing at my own flesh about (im)perfect daughter (im)perfect son subtext... like, god THIS was my Succession long before Succession graced our screens. I have So Many Blorbo Feelings about her! Please share yours as well

!! But exactly this! Yes!

The thing is, there is this really big focus on the dysfunctional relationship between Weyland and David - but most of the time when I engage with the fandom, Vickers is kind of reduced to this secondary bully when really, she's also a deeply wounded person and her relationship to Weyland and her trauma are at least as complex. Even on the more redditor-side of fandom, I've heard a thousand times "why does it matter that Weyland is her father, how is this an important reveal" and this just tells me that they never noticed her as a character, never really engaged with her as anything other than a plot-device. But if you pay attention to her, to her actions, to her rivalry with David - then finding out that she's Weyland's daughter makes all of that fall into place.

There is this really interesting theme where she tries to be as inhuman as possible - immediately doing push-ups after waking from cryosleep while everyone else is puking their guts out, the deleted scene where she is disgusted/annoyed by Janek's little christmas tree, the flamethrower scene, even her clothing and style at the beginning of the movie - which is why Janek asks her if she's a robot, too, but she's deeply offended by the notion (by the way, I once thought about this one AU idea where it turns out that she is, in fact, a robot, and it is kind of a controlled experiment on Weyland's part and she gets away at the end either with Janek or Shaw and she has to work through that).

Like...literally, she is so fascinatingly robotic at times:

She just desperately wants to be good enough, strong enough to be recognised as a human being and a person (and I think this is also a relevant theme about womanhood, the idea of her trying to be recognised as a person, as a child, as an equal to her "brother", of working harder than your male peers just to be taken seriously, acting colder than them to be taken seriously...)

Generally, despite the grand themes, they really break down to an abusive family situation where both children blame each other and envy each other instead of realising that their parent is neglecting and mistreating them both (Though I think David is less caught in than loop, I just don't think it makes as much difference in his books) But also, there is this one deleted scene where she tells David that "these idiots are about to infect my ship🙄🙄🙄🙄" and I loved this moment where they actually formed a small in-group in her eyes, them vs. the idiots...) Also, I like that as I mentioned, her clothing and style is very "robotic" at the beginning, but you can actually see her look become more "human" as the film progresses and I love that too. (Also I love that David actually plays up his own android-ness when he wants to annoy her like 'cup of tea, ma'am?' after she threatened to kill him. Really making her feel like she just yelled at a roomba). I actually believe that because of her resentment of David, she actually comes close to seeing him as a person - because resenting a device would be pointless - but that idea itself is insane and she would sound insane if she brought it up. So she is stuck working side by side with her fucking nemesis who can always hide behind being a fucking machine. Even stuff like David's obsession with Lawrence of Arabia or dying his hair - for everyone else, that's just a funny robot quirk but for her, it's probably maddening as hell. Especially because she doesn't know if he's doing it on purpose or whether she's starting to imagine things. Especially when he's clearly aware of this and can dial it up and down on purpose when he's feeling vindictive)

And then there is her relationship with Weyland. For one, you have the distance between the two of them. Weyland doesn't mention that she is his daughter in the big recorded hologram speech - he only talks about David (and how soulless he is). She literally has a different last name (is she married? were her parents not married? did she take on a different name to step out of his shadow? In fact, even that she is on board is really telling because if she was his heir, you would assume that she wouldn't accompany such a risky, potentially one-way mission, thereby risking the company legacy)

There is so much resentment between Weyland and her - but also, I genuinely believe that she loves her father (unlike David, who is just programmed to obey him - but who Weyland actually talks to and confides in instead of her). We know Weyland has this extreme god-complex where he wants to be a creator and he wants to archieve godhood for humans - for himself - by showing the Engineers everything he has accomplished and that they should give him immortality in return when he's already dying. And then you have Vickers reminding him that "A king has his reign and then he dies" - in a way, she is his reminder of humanity, his memento mori (his human daughter). She is the only person in the universe who can give him her honest opinion, actually freely criticise him - but at the same time, that only causes him to push her away further because he cannot stand that. She sees him as human and she's the only person who cares about him as a human, as her human father, but because he tries to erase that part of himself and become god, she has to watch him destroy himself and take them all with him. For Weyland, creating David was a crowning moment for him, for the entire human species. That was the moment THEY created life and became equals with the Engineers. And as his daughter, she cannot live up to that, no matter how much power and success she has and now much tea David has to pour for her.

I just think she's neat, okay 😭

#prometheus #fandom

[seb-writess]

BOOKS I READ (APRIL 2022)

General thoughts of the books I read in April '22! I read 8 books in April (7 new and one reread). My top recommendations from this month are

Our Year of Maybe by Rachel Lynn Solomon

Autoboyography by Christina Lauren

All That's Left in the World by Erik J. Brown

My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell

Find synopsis and reviews under the cut!

Perfect on Paper by Sophie Gonzales Contemporary, romance, LGBTQ+, High school

Summary: Darcy runs a business, where you can write to her anonymously and ask her for love and relationship advice, where she will e-mail you back. She has 99% success rate. Only when Alex one day finds out who she is and what she can do, he black mails Darcy into helping him win his girlfriend back. Darcy is busy figuring out her own love life with her best friend, Brooke, trying to keep her identity a secret, all while having a bisexual crisis.

Rating: 3/5

I always like Gonzales' analysis of sexuality, although sometimes I think it can fall flat in the sense it doesn't run too deep. It feels like I'm being talked at sometimes, rather than reading a discussion. Though her nuances in characters is entertaining and the way she writes discovering parts of themselves can feel spot-on. I also like the way she perceives different complications in relationships; I find it's always with a fresh take and sometimes a little too relatable (in a good way).

I didn't hate this book. I didn't like the main couple though (I was routing for them to get with other people) though I loved the discussion of bi erasure and how that can effect bisexuals coming to terms with that part of their identity, even though the discussion itself can feel a bit flat to me. I liked all the characters individually. It's a good story, especially if you enjoy Sex Education.

Our Year of Maybe by Rachel Lynn Solomon Contemporary, romance, LGBTQ+, High school

Summary: Sophie and Peter have been best friends since childhood. Inseparable. Both them and their families, but Peter has lived with a dysfunctional kidney since he was born. When Sophie finds she's a perfect donor match, it's a no-brainer what happens next. Except post-operation, Peter is now allowed to discover parts of himself he didn't realise he held, and those parts don't always align with Sophie's. Sophie expects them to grow ever closer, bonded by a whole organ. Peter is ready to find out who he is outside of his house, and outside of Sophie.

Rating: 4/5

This was a really interesting read. I loved the back and forth. Loved both characters. Loved the emotional turmoil from both of them as they go through not only the operation, but what it does to them mentally (together and as individuals). I kind of wanted it to go darker, go just that little bit deeper, but I also think it reflects on the characters Solomon built that it didn't. A really good deep-dive into a co-dependent relationship, and breaking out of that, also what happens when you stake all your claim on loving one person only.

(Reread) Autoboyography by Christina Lauren Contemporary, romance, LGBTQ+, High school

Summary: Bisexual Tanner Scott moves from Palo Alto, California to Provo, Utah, and Provo's heavily Mormon population isn't something to glance over. As a result, Tanner is forced back into the closet. He thinks this is fine; it's only until college. No one in Provo (besides his family), needs to know anyway. Until he immediately falls for Sebastian Brother. Smart, funny, intelligent, athletic. Mormon. And the pastor's son. Complicated with a capital C.

Rating: 5/5

When I say I'm obsessed with this book I mean I'm obsessed with this book. It was about this time I tested positive for Covid so what else was I going to do but reread all my favourites. I had only first read this book two weeks ago, but my need for a reread was too strong to pass. I love these characters. I love how deeply Christina and Lauren dive into their identities and the complications of being together in such a small and heavily religious town. I love how fleshed out all the characters are, not just Tanner and Sebastian. The chemistry between them is insane. The prose is incredible. It's so easy to pick up and so hard to put down. It has an incredibly bittersweet ending, but it was so satisfying. I've been recommending this book to anyone who will listen.

The Charm Offensive by Alison Cochrun Contemporary, romance, LGBTQ+, Adult

Summary: Think The Bachelor. But make it gay. That's what happens when lead contestant Charlie begins to grow closer to his handler and producer of the show, Dev. Likewise, Dev begins to find it hard to find the balance between work and keeping a professional distance. And that distance shrinks very quickly.

Rating: 3.5/5

I think I'd give this a higher rating if I read it again, but it just felt so fast paced I couldn't keep up at times. But this book has some incredibly good parts, and Cochrun does an amazing job of making characters that are so easy to love. The depiction and discussion of mental illness and the ways in which it appears in different people is incredible, and doesn't feel forced at all. It's very entertaining overall, but there were some scenes I found hard to get through. Although I liked the ending itself, I didn't quite enjoy how it got there. (Minor spoiler warning ahead) I'm never a fan of big, impassioned speeches in front of a crowd at the end of a story; it's just not my thing. I felt it was necessary in this scenario, but I didn't enjoy it anymore than it wanted me to.

My Favourite Half-Night Stand by Christina Lauren Contemporary, romance, Adult

Summary: Millie Morris has always been one of the boys, and her four best friends love her like one of their own. But she's always had more of an attachment to Reid than to anyone else, and this attachment comes to a head one night when they take their friendship further and sleep together. This might not have complicated things so much, if Millie wasn't about to start talking to Reid through a dating app under an alias. Now Reid is falling for (who he thinks) are two different women, and Millie is having a hard time pushing him to fall for the right one of them.

Rating: 2.75/5

Meh. I have nothing more to say about this book. It wasn't terrible. It wasn't great. I think it hit on some good points about finding the right people to trust to open yourself up to, and definitely hit the complications of online dating. I think there might have been too many characters. If it had been a four person group total, or even three, the other characters would have come out more well-rounded (Alex got no development at all, and the book would have been the same without him; even though I really liked him). It's a cute story, and that's about it.

Cinderella is Dead by Kalynn Bayron Fantasy, romance, LGBTQ+

Summary: Cinderella is dead, and she has been for 200 years, but what she's left behind is a society run by men, where a woman's value is based on if she's chosen at the annual ball. If she's not, it means worse than death for not only her, but her whole family. Sophia is, rightfully, pissed. She hates the system, hate what's expected of her, and hates she can't be with who she chooses. So what if she followed in Cinderella's footsteps, and ran away from the Annual Ball, not even leaving a slipper in her wake?

Rating: 2/5

I wanted to like this book so badly, but it bored me to tears and I had the worse time trying to finish it. I didn't like Sophia, who as the main character, makes the book that much harder to get through. The concept is so interesting and the twist the world has put on the tale of Cinderella and how that feeds into propaganda had such potential. I liked Constance, the main love interest. I don't mind that the ending was so cliche, (I like cliche and it still had enough twists to keep me semi-interested), but it felt both rushed and too slow at the same time. I'm still interested in reading Bayron's other works, but I'm no longer in a rush to do so.

All That's Left in the World by Erik J. Brown Contemporary, LGBTQ+, Post-apocalyptic, science fiction

Summary: There was covid. And then there was this. A plague has descimated the world's population, leaving only a few survivors behind, Andrew being one of them. Except he's that much closer to being one of the unlucky ones when he steps in a bear-trap that he himself set weeks prior. With a broken and infected leg, he stumbles upon Jamie, out in the woods, alone in his cabin, and pointing a gun at Andrew's face. But these two have a lot in common, the biggest thing being: being alone any longer is scarier than facing death.

Rating: 4/5

Incredible! Astounding! I'm addicted!! Firstly, please read this book for the confession scene alone. I've never scene such a great and nuanced depiction of opposites attract. It's scary in all the right places, happy when it needs to be, the chemistry built between Andrew and Jamie is so natural; it's beautiful. I like it's not zombies, it's a real world illness, which obviously due to current events, makes it so much more relatable. The peak into the human psyche and what one is willing to do to protect themselves vs. protect those they care about feels so real. It's has a snappy pace, not staying in one place for long, keeping you interested and intrigued, always wondering where it will go next, and who you can trust along the way. The ending is satisfying, and leaves it open for a sequel, which I'm crossing my fingers Brown gets the chance to write!

My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell Contemporary, fiction

TRIGGER WARNING: Graphic depictions of child abuse, sexual assault, emotional abuse and suicide

Summary: At fifteen years old, Vanessa Wye becomes addicted to one thing and one thing only; the attention of her teacher Jacob Strane. And Strane seems far too eager to give it. Seventeen years later and Vanessa is struggling to find herself outside of him, and more importantly, how what he did shaped herself and her life.

Rating: 4.5/5

This is a dark read, but a fantastic one at that. The prose is elegant, accurate, addicting and terrifying all at once. It fills with you a deep sadness, regret and anger at the same time. The ending frustrated me, and I know in that way it's meant to be realistic. There's not always justice in these stories, and there is ever rarer a happy ending. It made me scream in anger over some pages and cry over others. If you can stomach it, it's a beautifully insightful book into a sexual-abuse victim's telling from one journey to the next.

#perfect on paper #sophie gonzales #our year of maybe #rachel lynn solomon #autoboyography #christina lauren #my favorite half night stand #the charm offensive #alison cochrun #cinderella is dead #kalynn bayron #all that's left in the world #erik j brown #my dark vanessa #kate elizabeth russell

[lesbicosmos]

heartstopper episode 2 thoughts

-nick nelson stalking your 'friend''s instagram and smiling at almost every photo they've posted is not heterosexual behaviour

-unpopular opinion but i love charlie's lockscreen

-ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW COMIC ACCURATE CHARLIES ROOM IS?? they looked at that room plan alice drew and said copy paste

-charlie having autocaps off and nick having it on is just so...yes

-charlie is actually sm braver than ppl give him credit for, he rly just said fuck it and sent a heart emoji to his 'straight' crush

-TARA AND DARCY TARA AND DARCY TARA AND DARCY

-girl in red being on this soundtrack is gay rights in itself

-taradarcyelle my favourite trio <333

-best gal pals 👀👀

-"you should come round my house and meet her!" charlie: **literal heart eyes**

-i know oliver isn't in the show but id have loved if they'd have kept the "i have a 6 year old brother. mario kart is my life." line from the comic in to at least acknowledge he exists and that we just don't actually see him on screen?? really hoping he's in season 2 tho he's actually my favourite character

-the snow scene brings me so much joy u have no idea, it deserved that mtv award <333

-sarah nelson: ipad kid mum

-IMOGEN IS AN OVERHATED CHARACTER AND I'LL STAND BY THIS TIL I DIE I LOVE HER

-the your mum jokes are peak british highschool humour

-tao is a docs kinda guy and i love him for it

-with the knowledge that tara jones is an absolute lesbian, the whole 'tao insisting nick has a crush on tara and they're bound get together' plotline is so funny, like tao ik ur the token straight but ur gaydar needs some work

-"it's fine im just being an idiot!!" **gives elle actual puppy eyes**

-nicks little "wot" and the lean forward because he notices something's up with charlie, then his smile when charlie asks him to come round his house. i can't with this actual golden retriever

-CHARLIE JUST LOOK UP FROM THE DRUMS FOR LIKE ONE SECOND THAT BOY IS GIVING YOU LITERAL HEART EYES RN

-lost count of how many times nick looks at charlies lips during these few scenes, how does charlie not realise how utterly in love with him he is

-the sparks as he nearly held his hand. the "you look so cuddly like that." the hug. the zooming in on charlie's face on the photos and smiling like he's the best thing he's ever seen. none of this is hetero behaviour nicholas

-nick with the am i gay quizzes was me in lockdown after watching bbc merlin for the first time and laying eyes on the beauty that is katie mcgrath as morgana

-why am i like this is also top tier soundtrack, i can't get over how fitting it is for the scene

#these commentaries are gonna be long #my apologies #i have so much to say about this show #i love it too goddamn much #heartstopper #heartstopper liveblog #heartstopper netflix #nick and charlie