#does it make you feel less alone

[greenreticule]

No no listen no listen as a matter of AUs for your consideration listen:

Dexter Jettster is the perfect character to slip in under Maul’s conditioning to get him to reconsider his loyalty to Sidious before the shit happens on Naboo

Because Dexter Jettster is like Darth Sidious

Sidious rises in power because he puts up the palatable front of Palpatine, and even after he gains the most powerful position in the republic, he’s still manipulating things from the shadows.

Dexter Jettster was the biggest information broker in the core worlds, had an entire smuggling tunnel in the back room of his diner, and he was able to prevent the Coruscant law enforcement from becoming aware of his underworld dealings by putting up a palatable front of the friendly diner owner.  And he uses his connection with Obi-Wan Kenobi to manipulate galactic level political proposals as a fucking diner owner.

(citations: this huge ass essay breaking down all his appearances in Legends and canon)

Both of them put up friendly fronts so that they can bend and twist situations to their liking.

However Dexter Jettster is obviously not like Darth Sidious. This Besalisk is a fucking bundle of compassion. Sidious’s manipulations are for himself and for his own rise to power. Dex’s manipulations are for his community and to better the galaxy around him. Sidious uses and discards the people around him, while Dex cares deeply for the people around him.

(citations: the huge ass essay again, the smuggler’s guide, this mini essay of mine, and hermione’s fact file from legends)

This is painted perfectly in Queen’s Hope where both Dex and Sidious see through a disguise of Sabé. Sidious uses that to subtly use her, where Dex uses it as a chance to subtly counsel and comfort her.

Now what this means for our dear angy Nightbrother...

Maul is used to responding to Sidious with respect, deference, loyalty. Maul is also desperately, constantly seeking Sidious’ approval.

If by some chance he encounters and maybe has to work undercover with/against Dexter Jettster on a mission where he can’t contact Sidious for a time (there is so much space before AOTC for Dex to just not be on Coruscant; boy had an entire smuggling career)...

...it would be very plausible that Maul would have an instinctual reaction to the qualities that Dex shares with Master Sidious.

That a part of Maul would recognize these similarities, and in the similarities, Maul would have an easier time accepting challenges to the way Sidious had raised him. That Maul’s guard would unconsciously drop enough, to let the part of Dex that is wholly unlike Sidious affect him. That Maul would allow himself to be loved.

#darth maul #dexter jettser #darth sidious #this brotp i'm telling y'all WORKS #this time i'm bringing a buddy #does it make you feel less alone #as friends as brothers

[wayward-wren]

Am I the only one who doesn't think that 60s era Doctor Who's trend/themes of 'protect women' isnt sexist?

Most of the complaints I see about 60s Who sexism, and the male characters of that era is largely due to the men being like 'girls stay back.' But a) there is nothing inherently sexist about that imo? Men protecting women is the most healthy masculine thing possible. And b) when the women are like 'no lol' the men are like 'okay fine let's go' and respect their decisions on the whole.

Like that isn't sexism? That's just recognising men and women are different?

#wren rambles #doctor who #classic doctor who #this is mostly about jamie #who yes he does make sexist comments appart from his drive to protect #but only ever does that in the context of trolling his female friends #honestly i feel like if i look close enough i could argue that modern who is MORE sexist than 60s who #tempted to make that argument shfhs #i mean just look at the variety of women we have in the 60s era alone! #theres people from the past (victoria) and the future (vicki) #theres people who hang back and tend to be more damsel in distress (susan) vs women who are on the front lines (polly) #theres ladies who are pretty streets smart (dodo) and ladies who are able to keep up with the doctor intellectually (zoe) #there's BARBARA WRIGHT #the 60s era ladies are so different and all stand out in their own way #they have different skills and gifts and personalities #and (on the whole poor dodo) are pretty well developed characters #vs the same trope of 'Contemporary British Woman Who Adores The Doctor As The Best Ever Who Can Do No Wrong' fits like 70% nu companions #idk man. #i get tired of people saying 60s who is sexist #cos i dont see that it is? but maybe im missing something #i will say that i love all the 60s ladies soso much #and find some of the modern ladies less developed #ANYWAY RANT OVER THANK YOU

[pbnmj]

actually you know what the mcu was absolutely evil for introducing spider-man and immediately making him follow iron man around and then ALSO using him as a prop to make iron man look cooler meanwhile peter barely gets a faithful story of his own IN HIS OWN MOVIES

#sorry that it takes like. one textpost to get me writing a paragraph wall #THE FACT. IRON MAN . IS A MASSIVE PLOT POINT IN HOCO AND ALSO IN FFH. BROTHER I DO NOT FUCKING CARE ABOUT THIS GUY #DO NOT GET ME FUCKING STARTED ON THE SONY MOVIES . I AM SO . FUCKING . INSANE RN #I MISS HARRY SOOOOOOOO BAD I WANT PARKSBORN CODEPENDENCY NOWWWWWWWWWW #PERSONAL #THE FACT THAT HOCO IS 'peter is so young and naive he keeps making mistakes' #AND THEN FFH IS 'peter is so young and naive he keeps making mistakes' #AND THEN NWH IS 'peter is so young and naive he keeps making mistakes' #DUDE WHEN DOES HE LEARN. WHEN DOES HE GET CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT #ALSO THE FACT HE JUST . EVERY MOVIE HE FINDS OUT TONY IS ACTUALLY AN EVEN WORSE PERSON THAT HE PREVIOUSLY BELIEVED AND #NOOOOTTTTHINGGGGGG IS DONE ABOUT IT #the fact it took 3 movies of fucking around and it ended up with the mcu implying he's going to be more comics accurate. or at least less .. #like that.... #like you have a trilogy to do something with spidey and also an EXTENDED UNIVERSE and nothing happens #the nymcu (new york marvel cinematic universe) where its just daredevil and spider man and some select avengers that i like is very real to #me. VERY real to ME #we also seriously have to lower the stakes i'd love for him to be a friendly neighborhood spider-man #im not joking. why was he even in england. like just write any semblance of plot so peter feels responsible and FOLLOWS beck to england #because he literally cannot leave it alone. because it is his responsibility. because he cant help but think this is his fault #mostly a joke cause i dont love england but still. #SOMEHTING LIKE THIS PLEASE. PLEASE PPPPLLLLLEEEAAAAASE (the sniper on the opposing rooftop takes the shot and kills me) #edit: excuse me everybody i am not hating on tasm i love andrew garfield so much i can look over its issues #i AM hating on the weird little fucking spiderman universe theyre making without a spiderman. LMFAO #like what is sony thinking . WHAT. #morbius and also the kraven movie i have so little hopes for you its insane #and i very much enjoyed the venom movies but theyre also soooo fun as a standalone #where eddie is just going a widdle batshit

[bloompompom]

here’s a fun silly question: does anyone else rapid fire sneeze??

#i sneeze 3-8 times usually in a row really tiny and fast #one time my teacher said ‘was that a sneeze? i thought you were whispering something sweet?’ #or i’m told i sneeze like a bunny #or told to shut up lmfao #i’ve only met one other person who does this #make me feel less alone pls #bloomy rambles

[perhapsiamaplant]

you know what I feel so alone and isolated all the time and I am just so glad that I can come to tumblr to see all the other lil mentally ill MCR fan outcasts and we can all just vibe silently together on this website

#we may not know each other #or speak to each other #but I love you all very much #and you are my friends #it makes me feel a little less alone #and I hope it does that for you too #like ghosts in the snow #mcr #my chemical romance #american rock band my chemical romance

[themthistles]

rain scene in ep two really is the perfect representation of who dongsik is as a person and nam sangbae's words about dongsik helping others to make himself happy. he's holding an umbrella over that boy's head, looking at him jumping up and down and his smile is so bright and warm like he doesn't even notice that he's got no shoes on and that he's cold and wet. because the boy is safe and content and if he can keep him that way, if he can keep everyone that way, protect them from pain, sorrow and fear then maybe he can keep a tiny part of himself safe too. gain some peace and sanity in a world that is anything but that for him. for a little while he can leave his own head, see the world through their eyes, forget the horrors, escape his grief. he can't go back in time and save his past self so he saves those he can now.

his only way of interacting with the world is 'how can i help? what can i do?' but he really doesn't like when other people try to help him in return. especially when he thinks they have to sacrifice something to do it. he's annoyed with jeongje when he lies to give him an alibi. he's frustrated with jaeyi when she wants to involve herself in catching the killer. angry with juwon for trying to take the blame for him.

dongsik's attitude undergoes a huge shift first after jaeyi tells him 'i SHOULD get hurt. i want to get hurt if that's what it takes. why are you the only one making sacrifices?' and then after juwon tells him 'this is not on you. this is not your responsibility. i'll deal with it myself and i'll suffer the consequences however terrible they may be.' jaeyi tells him you're not crazy, just sad and lonely. juwon tells him you've had enough of that lonely sadness in your life. they tell him let us help so he does. gets whole team together to catch nam sanbae's killer. agrees to work together with juwon to take down han gihwan. tells jihwa about it. yeah juwon learns how to take the hand he's offered but so does dongsik. they learn that lesson together.

#beyond evil #for jayi it's realising that people will continue trying to help him and if he refuses they'll just go behind his back to do it #so it's better to accept help #and then juwon DOES go behind his back and dongshik experiences firsthand how angry and scared and confused it makes you feel #he tells jihwa i can't let that fool go down alone but he's exactly the same type of fool himself #and then part of it i think is also survivors guilt #that he thinks it should've been him who died instead of his sister and so now he feels like he has to make up for his life continuing #to prove that he deserves to exist #and so dongsik's arc is about learning that his life has meaning beyond what he can give #it's inherent #his mom reminds him of that #just eat well sleep well and don't do harm to anyone that's enough to be a good person #i never thought of you as less than your sister #idk does that make sense #sorry i should probably tag #beyond evil spoilers

[vvanessaives]

no but thinking of violante's manic state following her murder of ruven and that sick game of association-replacement played by gortash where he acts just like ruven did, picks up some of his behaviours and mannerisms and speech patterns he specifically used with violante and that he knows of well bc he observed and studied them interact, so that he can fill up the now empty spot left by ruven's death.

#rena.txt #LIKE THE LAYERS. vio is visibly not. alright. it's all about 'i'm alone without him' so he plays a role. takes advantage of the weakness so #to devote her to him like she was devoted to ruven. vio could've killed for ruven and now more than ever she's a powerful asset to have on #your side. plus she showed she can and will kill. she took out the only person she cared for (in their twisted ways) in the world so she's #useful but dangerous. a double edged blade. no better moment than now that vio is so unstable and lacks purpose and a sense of community #to lure her on his side for his future plans. there's smth about the manipulation in it that makes me lose it like #i know this is what you desperately need rn and i know you know you will never have it back so what if i showed you i can be that thing #you're missing? that sense of loneliness is what he's pressing on the most. and the loss too. and vio notices ofc she recognises when he #speaks or acts in a certain way. she's aware but willingly letting his plan work bc god. she does miss ruven so sickly much and the comfort #in a lie is preferable to what's going on in her mind in that moment. #there's exploitation and there's a lil touch of loneliness on his side too and it's bitter to pretend to be someone else to convince her to #stay but he won't ever admit it. genuinely think that if vio didn't leave without saying a word his plan would've worked. she'd willingly #pretend he could replace ruven. it would hurt less probably #that devotion that could lead her to do great horrors...both her weakness and strength 👍 the illusion of free choice 👍 #it's past 3am if i could elaborate better i would but i feel like i'm having visions at this point.hit me with a giant hammer so i can slee #i 🫶 toxicity in my characters dynamics btw

[licorishh]

Hey as a super introverted but not shy person I'd just like to say the jokes about extroverts "adopting" introverts to "get them out of their shell" are actually completely unfunny and it just goes to show how little respect a lot of y'all have for the fact that we genuinely don't want excessive social interaction and that y'all are forcing us to do something that brings us extreme physical and mental discomfort because you perceive our introversion as a failing rather than as purely a difference in personality.

We don't need your "help" to socialize. We're not children. We're simply not interested in spending every waking second of our lives talking to people and being talked at in return.

#again i scream from the rooftops that there is a monumental chasm between being shy and actually being an introvert #a shy person is someone who's afraid of social interaction. an extrovert can be naturally shy. #a shy person can WANT lots of social interaction but simply have not learned to feel comfortable in social situations. #people who are just very introverted simply have little desire or capacity for excessive human interaction. #we're not “afraid” of it. we just don't enjoy it and it wears us out. #you don't need to swoop in and save us because we can't handle ourselves. we're perfectly fine thank you #extroverts are constantly demanding that we get out of our comfort zones but few of you are willing to make the alternative more comfortabl #if you're a very extroverted person please do not take it upon yourself to jokingly “adopt” introverts you meet. #it's not funny and it's not helpful. it's irritating that you perceive our quietness and low social battery as something that needs “fixing #we won't miraculously learn to love and be comfortable with excessive human interaction. that's not how we're wired and that's OKAY #i'm honestly getting so sick of the “the lonely introvert and the extrovert who adopted them” memes #i can guarantee you that if you are an extrovert who operates this way then your introvert “friend” is actually probably very uncomfortable #and just don't want to say anything because they think it would be rude to bring up the fact that they don't want what you want from them #this does NOT mean extroverts and introverts cannot be friends nor am i saying all extroverts are annoying or that they all do this #i'm simply saying that if you are very extroverted and you have a friend who's very introverted #then it's on you to be aware of your introvert friend's limited social battery and STOP pressuring them to just “put up with it” #don't spend every second with them constantly talking. be willing to spend some time just in the quiet. #be willing to let them bow out of something if they're exhausted and are low on social energy. #don't expect them to want to come to every meeting or party or get-together because it WILL drain them completely. #be willing to let them spend time alone when they need to to recharge. #letting an introvert cool off and recharge when they need to is ALWAYS going to make social situations less stressful for them. #PLEAAAAASE take their feelings into account and understand that they do NOT perceive social interactions the way you do. #most very introverted people do not find socialization relaxing or invigorating. they don't do it to unwind #they have to unwind AFTER lots of social interaction #that's about it. thank you and good night

[anissapierce]

I think a six hour video about star wars n star fandoms racism wouldn't fix me but itd make me feel less alone

#bc i feel crazy when the only times toxic fandom is brought up its the misogynistic dudebros #and yes ive read a lot about this but the thing abt reading is tht #hile it does make you feel less alone...theres sth abt an actual person taking time to talk about it yknow #its like yes the books about lgbtq coding n shit in movies are great i rlly enjoyed reading screening the sexes #but like documentaries give me more catharsis #sw talk tag

[greenreticule]

Our Names to Each Other

Keeping a step ahead of a galactic senator, ahead of a goddamn Sith Lord, is hard enough. Keeping a step ahead of one's own fears and doubts is harder. How do you go about finding family, if you are afraid of what the very word means?

Sequel to Keep Running, Soft Heart. A series where serotonin is stored in the tiny Maul and the single dad Dexter Jettster

#darth maul #dexter jettster #fanfiction #star wars #does it make you feel less alone #this time i'm bringing a buddy

[zemnarihah]

my best friend has been very distant w me lately and i asked today if she wanted to hang out and she said she probably couldn't bc it's her brothers birthday but she would let me know if she could and i have her location and i just looked and she's at her boyfriends house rn....

#we have it bc we're roomates so we started sharing locations when we first moved in like in case someone doesn't come home at night or smth #she recently told me that she wants to move out bc she has always wanted to live alone and she can finally afford it. and i asked her #directly like is there an issue because she is so non confrontational so she has never ever mentioned me doing anything that bothers her #and i said please tell me if there's something wrong because it would really suck if there was and i never got a chance to fix it because #you never told me. and she said no it has nothing to do with that i really just feel like it's time for me to live on my own. and a couple #days ago she was like okay i'm next in line for my apartment i'll probably move out in april. and i try to get her to hang out still and #she always has something else going on and i swear every night this week she's been at her boyfriends. #and if i see her around our apartment and try to make conversation at all she's so like short about it and barely responds like will only #give one word answers. i feel like it kind of started when i started dating e but i realized that i was spending less time with her and i #didn't want to be the girl that loses all my friends bc of a boyfriend so i started specifically reaching out to hang out with her and she #says no most of the time and never asks me. like i don't know what else i can do. #i'm like maybe it's bc of her boyfriend? bc they've been on again off again for a long time and previously when they were together it was #really distant with her like i barely saw her EVER. and they were mostly broken up for the past couple years and have been together i think #for a while again... but she knows i don't approve of that relationship and so she would like not say when they were talking again. so maybe #since lately they've been hanging out or dating or WHATEVER she doesn't fucking tell me what's going on with him. maybe that's why. #i literally like try to think of ways it could be my fault and maybe i'm being crazy but i cannot even think to blame myself for more than a #fleeting second bc i'm like. i have ASKED HER directly if there is an issue or something i do that bothers her and she says no. so even if #i'm somehow pissing her off would i ever know to change anything?? i just feel so frustrated bc it's like she's an entirely different person #to me. like this is not the person i know. and i don't know what else i could possibly do like i feel like we need to sit down and have a #conversation about it but what good does that do if she just acts like nothing is wrong. but i don't want to lose my friend i have such a #hard time making friends. i've known her since i was 14 like i can't imagine my life without her. we were the only two in our whole friend #group in high school to get out of the church i still love those other girls but we have so little in common now.

[ofallthingsnasty]

Thinking about Nanami and piss - Nanami who's hesitant when you bring it up for the first time, who doesn't quite get the appeal at first - but who's still willing to try. And Nanami who ends up cumming hard and fast in your mouth after he marked you, who's a little taken aback and out of breath but still flushed. Who won't admit that he liked it, but who'll never say no to a second round...

#tw.piss #ahh i wanna write it #it'd be so cute and needs some gojo teasing sprinkles #he'd make you do it in the shower/bathroom #i just know it #gojo would piss on you in public lmao behind some corner #he does not care lol #but nanami would be so shy about it lol #but you can tell he likes it #from his face alone #hmmmm #who didn't know how great it'd feel to see you covered in his piss #that hehe #edit: so this showed up in the tags #when i didn't want it to #i am so sorry :/ #i just wanted him for the search on my blog nothing less #ah well i hope these are enough now #nanami

[mifunebooty]

Only thing i have to do to move on from how bitch ass messy 5th grade me was that totally was out of her control is to kill that bitch

#cherry says #that really at the end of the day when i lashed out toward others was just mean #yes youre SOMETHING mentally wrong with you but what do others have to do with you? #what does bringing other people into ur anger and confusion and make u feel distracted from being alone achieve? #mad to your classmates in general are pointing out as a collective you as a presenting woman arent feminine enough nor light enough? #fuck them fuck off #mad to a new world coming that wants you to turn into something you dont even know? mad at this image of who you even wanna be? #whats the purpose of it #self sabotaging 5th grade me ....... i have to kill you and drive off with you in a shallow grave like nothing #i wish somebody was nice to you you stayed in the library forever you thought of peoples opinions less #because theres ways to love attention daily like nothing while not caring what they say #i wish somebody was your best friend since forever and never left you and stayed and stayed #but people move like book pages and so do you because this isnt love to yourself nor others around you #and thats why i have to kill you and leave you and not even give much ceremony for because i gave u enough power anyhow

[saetoru]

i think about what alhaitham’s childhood must’ve been like and i honestly make myself very sad thinking about it

#idk i feel like #he always says he doesn’t care what ppl think of him and that he’s happy to keep to himself #but i feel like a small part of that is stuff he says to convince himself he’s fine w having no friends 🥲 #like bffr every kid wants a friend idc #he definitely wanted a friend as a kid #i’m convinced he was a bullied kid #i think it’s not a very unique hc tho im sure so many ppl think that too #but isn’t that just so :( #idk like i imagine his grandmother encouraging him to make friends like ‘once they get to know you they’ll love u like i do’ #and then no one likes him 🥲 #and he’s just like why what did i do ? in his head #if a kid is like 6 ur not gonna convince me like #oh yeah he’s cool w not having friends he’s just like that he likes keeping to himslef #no way. i don’t believe it for a second #so he’s just like ok who needs friends i can thrive and lead a simple life without that nonsense anyway as a way to cope and it just sticks #i mean sure he’s introverted and he prefers to keep to himself #yeah ok. but he definitely does not want to die alone and never have anyone he can share memories w and so i feel like #for someone to reiterate so much that they prefer solitude so strongly and hold rationality above all else #even when they’re clearly someone who makes decisions that are more or less morally guided #there must’ve been a very lonely and melancholy past there #and every time i think ab it #i get sad #and don’t even get me started on his grandmothers death #idk every time i think ab alhaitham #he just seems so heartbreaking and tragic in a very very normal way #not some elaborate brother betrayal or dead friend from the hands of a god #or being abandoned by ur mother and betrayed by humans 283774 times in a row as u search for ur purpose #just a normal sad story of dead parents and not fitting in and having no one and losing the one person who loves you wholly #and it makes me so sad bc it’s the most realistic sad past of all the characters and nothing can convince me that’s not what his past was #and it makes my heart bleed for him

[outlying-hyppocrate]

positively despising how my consistent personality is leaving me and how i resort to such strange lies

#random thoughts #i write this on the cold tile floor of a place that has yet to hear my wailing screams. this is a lie. i am in bed #if my writing were anywhere near kafkaesque i don't think i'd be doing very well. but how i do admire his work #i read quite a bit. my bookshelves one day shall be piled with the works of authors such as anne rice. oscar wilde (and franz kafka himself #though this is the 21st century. what of modern fiction ? what of modern nonfiction ? i've made myself into someone #whose vocabulary is strangely extensive. we could argue that i've been this person all along #a sort of “gifted child” perhaps. except. i don't fucking use words like perhaps #as. not as. because this is a mockery of the self #how to put it less concisely ? i sound so old. “so mature for [my] age.” #i'm a very strange sort of person and when i stand alone in the water my screaming takes the form of beautiful song. but #how i long to stop the sound and choke it out into something strangled with my very own fingers. my essence is poetry #and therefore all that i am is poetry. i am so beautiful #my face and my body and everything we are made of #to spill the essence of poetry in the form of something more human. blood or spit or tears or vomit #i am so very interested in human function. what am i saying i'm being strange on purpose? but i like being strange #and this is how you see me now. my eccentric persona(lity) does not make me special at all. i'm not doing very well #i never am to tell the truth. it is getting so hard to prove my humanity and i'm starting to feel rather artificial #i have nothing to show proof of humanity such as blood or spit or tears or vomit #but then again i am simply being dramatic. i'm just being dramatic. that's it #i am just a boy and just a puppet and just how i present to others #i am pleasant. i am charming. i am robotic. i am awkward. i am cultured. i am weird. i am almost a person #my fingers are so thin. i've always been inhuman. they have their blood and spit and tears and vomit #and i have nothing but i think i like those words quite a bit. and i am watching the numbers raise higher. notifications. pretty things #i'm sorry i'm acting like this. acting. acting. actingactingactingidon't know what's brought it on #i speak so strangely. maybe i should try something else. i shall go to sleep and pretend that nothing happened. which it did. let me #bstvlpeooiamotridst . you have the words. i've been purposely alternating every three tags to write blood and spit and tears and vomit #i like patterns very much what else can i say. patterns are. pretty. though pretty isn't a word that fits into my extensive vocabulary #it should be buried at the bottom rather. what's a nicer way. i'm not actually sure #if you've made it this far please kindly say hello. otherwise that's alright #we've arrived to form our pattern again and i don't actually feel very much. bloodspit tearsvomit

[dailybaizhu]

49: celebrating our annual second of screentime!! :D

#baizhu #genshin impact #baizhu genshin impact #i didnt want to leave cringe neg alone i wanted to be clear that this is a pro cringe space #so this one is delayed a day #taking a break from asks so i dont have to delay him any longer #also im sleepy and while the idea of this blog IS sloppy doodles but a lot of them #(many pots versus good pot to improve yknow) #i also feel less guilty if extra sloppy ones arent the requests yknow?? #it does help that i know the identity of like. probably 50% of the asks #and if there was one he wanted But Not Sloppy he does know my main art blog #actually like a third of my followers do. i do not have very many #hello mutuals thank you for supporting my mental illness💪 #and hello nonmutuals and an extra double thank you because you guys arent even like. here to be nice to my ego #which is actually even Nicer to my ego #oh this got off topic #the point was. im sleepy and rambly and if i know someone might actually want a drawing i prefer to like. put a smidgeon of effort in yknow #not so much as to hamper it being An Achievable Daily Goal but yknow #anyway ignore that his tummy line is missing i noticed when cropping and im too lazy to switch back to drawing app #and by lazy i mesn sleepy. good night baizhu nation make sure to eat lots of lanterns to prepare for him to show up!!!