#does luther hargreeves know he means the whole entire world to me

[taiturner]

This is the failure of my life. I sit here staring at centuries wasted, all because a different me was unkind to his children.  Listen, Dad. It's not that simple, all right?

THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY 3x09 | “Seven Bells”

#luther hargreeves #lutherhargreevesedit #reginald hargreeves #tuaedit #the umbrella academy #tua #theumbrellacademyedit #brellygifs #dailynetflix #tua spoilers #tua s3 spoilers #tuas3 #* #number5theboy #userraven #userbecca #tusermich #does luther hargreeves know he means the whole entire world to me #i saw someone say it made no sense that he voted no but :( yes it does :( he does not want to be his father's weapon or pawn anymore #and he shouldn't have to be!!!!! #blowing a kiss to him

[itsthenovelteafactor]

The Hargreeves + Love Languages

Not technically for Valentine’s Day, but the timing lines up pretty well! Here are my theories for the Hargreeves and their primary love languages. 💕

Luther: Words of Affirmation

“Sometimes these things just take time.”

Luther both expresses and seems happiest receiving affection through words of affirmation, which makes a lot of sense for him, given how Reginald used the faintest scraps of praise to earn his undying loyalty for years (the only positive about this man being back is that now the kiddos get a chance to kill him themselves). We see it in how he interacts with his siblings. When Allison confesses how lost and alone she feels after losing Claire, he gently encourages her. When he and Vanya begin to mend their relationship he instantly becomes her #1 hype man (we love to see it). Even Elliot! We also see how even the smallest encouragements from other people clearly mean so much to him, whether it’s his siblings, or, you know, Jack Ruby. 

Diego: Acts of Service

“I know what it’s like to love dangerous people.”

Ah, Diego “I have to save everyone, wtf is self care?” Hargreeves. Not only are acts of service the primary way he shows affection, they are also pretty much the only way he knows how to. Like, Diego will tie Klaus to a chair to help him get sober, and attack a bunch of angry vets for him, but when he tries to talk he ends up wistfully recalling the time Klaus got his mouth wired shut. He gets incredibly attached to people who help him, even if they have ulterior motives for doing so (read: Lila and to some extent Herb), and goes to ridiculous lengths to help them in return (literally throwing himself in front of a huge onslaught of bullets to protect Five). Which makes sense, considering his relationship with Grace really developed because she was willing to help him work on his speech when no one else would. 

Allison: Receiving Gifts

“I’m the luckiest man in all of Dallas.”

“Is that right?” 

Okay, first of all, Allison Hargreeves is 100% the kind of person to pick up little gifts for Claire literally every time she’s out of town. We see the two people in the series that know her best, Luther (who’s attachment I’m deciding to interpret as 100% familial... don’t ruin this for me) and Raymond, both give her gifts to show her how loved she is. Ray picks up a book for her, and she just about melts on the spot. She kept the necklace Luther gave her for years. We also see her giving gifts as a form of affection, from using her powers to get Ray a nice suit, to the “feast” she sneaks in for her and Luther as children. It makes a ton of sense for her as a character, too. I think on some level, Allison fears that none of her relationships are as real as she wants them to be, so having someone say “I was somewhere else and thought of you, here is something that it never occurred to you to ask for” means so much to her in proving that she is loved in return as fiercely as she loves. 

Klaus: Quality Time

“Logging in some quality bro time before the end of the world.”

We see multiple instances where Klaus is seeking out time with his family as a way of expressing affection. He leaps at any opportunity to accompany Five on a mission, and the aforementioned incident with Diego. He takes Allison and Vanya for tacos to spend time with them. He just wants to spend time with his family, y’all. It’s honestly kind of adorable. It’s how people show affection to him, too. Diego drives him places, and we see when Klaus is at a low point, he takes special care to come back in and check on him. It also makes sense for reasons of sad, because we know that Klaus is never really alone, and the constant presence of ghosts is dulled by spending time in other people’s company. Because of this, he associates spending time with the people he’s close to as being both comfortable and safe. 

Five: Acts of Service

“Everything I’ve done, I’ve done for my family.”

This little gremlin really went out and said “I’m going to save the whole entire world for my family,” like, honey. Doing stuff for people is the primary way he shows affection. He’s constantly fighting to save his family, and carries Dolores around constantly. He shows up when Vanya asks for help. We also see it in the way he responds to other people. Like, Hazel does one nice thing for him and he’s like “oh, we’re friends now.” Vanya makes him sandwiches to show him that he’s being taken care of. Reginald actually gives him legitimate advice for once. Donut shop guy (R.I.P) buys him his coffee. That small smile he gets in the elevator when they all show up to talk to Reginald together and he sees that they actually do care. Five has been doing everything by himself for so long, and having someone else step in, even if he won’t ever admit it, means the world. 

Ben: Physical Touch

“Can you hug me as I go?”

Ben was a little harder because we don’t really see him interact with that many people other than Klaus, but he really made it his mission to hug all of them, so it kind of works. The moment with Vanya, the hug with Diego, even how he just wants to occupy the same space was Jill as soon as he can, Ben just really wants physical contact with the people he cares about. The first thing he does when he realizes he can touch things is play patty cake with Klaus. Which makes the fact that he spent 20+ years incorporeal and unable to touch anyone... kind of devastating actually. It also makes sense because we know that Ben hates the destructive capabilities of the Horror, and the fact that someone is okay with being physically close to him means that they trust him and aren’t afraid.

Vanya: Words of Affirmation

“You’re plenty elegant.”

All things considered, it makes a lot of sense that words of affirmation would be the way Vanya feels most loved, most seen. Reginald Hargreeves verbally dismissed her whenever he had the opportunity, and we see her clinging to anyone who says nice things about her. Leonard talks her up constantly, and she falls for him instantly. In a much nicer (and more genuine) way, Sissy tells her frequently that she’s valuable, that she’s wanted. Vanya talks herself down a lot, and Sissy will not hear it, lol. We also see it in the way she reached out to other people! She’s so encouraging and supportive of Sissy. In a beauty parlor, she just gushes to both Klaus and Allison, “this family’s amazing” even though they’ve kind of just exposed themselves as the trainwrecks they are. It’s cute af. 

#tua #the umbrella academy #tua meta #the umbrella academy meta #love languages #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #i'd love to know people's thoughts and whether they agree :)

[in-tua-deep]

Hufflepuff Five is so good! Are the Hargreeves lives as students as adventurous like the main crew from HP? What about the Ministry of Magic? Would they get involved if someone caught wind of the sibling’s powers that weren’t just magic?

Their lives are SO wack honestly like, they just vibe. They just are going through their magical youth being absolute feral children who don’t trust adults as far as they can throw them while trying to hide their weird funky powers and also ravenously going through magical feats like they’re going out of style

Luther is every sibling’s go-to practice partner because apparently durability extends to being like? Slightly magic resistant? Basically if you hit Luther with a spell it will only be like, maybe half power? So the siblings use him as a magical shield half the time and an experiment the other half and Luther just Suffers Through This until it all goes wrong and he ends up as a werewolf, oops

(But at least Ben is alive! Honestly the only reason Luther wasn’t straight up mauled to death was a combo of his durability, Ben’s proficiency in healing magic, and Ben managing to befriend the acromantulas)

(Luther eventually gets a sense of humor about this after long years of working on accepting himself and constantly threatens to bite his siblings or makes comments about them looking extra tasty when they irritate him)

Allison is a quidditch star, super popular and athletic as all hell. She probably ends up being the Slytherin team captain, honestly. Allison is all glamor and charisma and in her later years of hogwarts has an absolute blast. Allison is very much functional passing so she’s usually the front man to get the professors off their backs, but she also is the front man for a lot of the shit that the family sell for extra spending money. Five and Ben might make potions, but Allison rules the underground black market in slytherin with an iron fist (which gets them into shenanigans involving other kids who Owe Debts)

Diego is on the gryffindor quidditch team and so him and Allison are constantly at each other’s throats on the pitch (Allison sometimes rumors him during matches when she gets within earshot which makes all of the siblings yell at him but she maintains that he gets to use his stupid powers to score points so she should get to as well). Diego gets roped into everything because he’s super soft. He starts a lot of fights because he has vigilante genes so he serves a lot of detentions. His house tolerates him losing them points because the man is a wizard with a quaffle

(Diego and Allison actually practice a lot together, which their respective teams are like HMMMM over but they’re siblings and slytherin knows that Allison would never hesitate to knock Diego off his broom and wave cheerily as he falls to his death, and gryffindor is aware that Diego can, should, and must throw a ball directly at Allison’s dumb face if she gets too close to him because of the Cain Instinct)

(Honestly Allison and Diego do a LOT for interhouse unity, showing that you can still be ride or die for each other while also wanting greatly to kill each other uwu)

Ben is too independent for his own good, which is what gets him into trouble. He likes gardening, and he likes herbs, and sometimes he’s just GOTTA go into the forbidden forest on a full moon to gather these very specific ingredients, c’mon. He also just. Likes spending time in the forbidden forest. He’s Hagrid’s favorite student because he doesn’t bat an eye at all the weird magical creatures, bc homeboy got an eldritch horror in his navel. Ben makes friends with the acromantulas (who have a healthy respect for him after the Horror ate a few of them), patiently avoids the centaurs, and bribes the pixies into giving him their shed wings through liberal application of jam stolen from the Hogwarts kitchens. 

You know what Allison is functional passing and Ben is distinguished passing, all their teachers assume that Ben is the most put together of them but they’re WRONG. They haven’t seen Ben at two in the morning yanking Vanya out of ben because if they don’t break into greenhouse four and help those poor fucking plants the first years are tending to they’re all going to DIE and that’s not fair??? ben is single handedly going to save all those poor plants (and all those first year’s grades)

Vanya is just VIBING, he ends up coming out as trans in fourth year and gets to be roommates with Ben which is pretty sweet. If only Ben didn’t drag him into shenanigans?? All the teachers are like “ah yes Vanya, such a quiet boy not like his siblings at all” but Vanya can will should and must climb onto the roof of the astronomy tower to play his violin because He Just Likes To Be Tall. Vanya once punched a snobby ravenclaw kid in the nose and then stared them down saying “the teachers will never believe you.”

Vanya steals Luther to practice his powers with in unused classrooms the most?? he’s durable. he’ll be fine if Vanya blasts him into a wall with his powers lol

Vanya’s solution to all their problems is “do you want me to blow it up with my powers?” or “do you want me to kill them for you?” 

(All of the siblings now refuse to duel with Vanya except for Luther bc Vanya is RUTHLESS. He WILL murder his siblings (almost) given the chance. They’re all so lucky that Ben is so good at healing and carries extra vials of healing potions on his person otherwise Madame Pomfrey would be VERY CONCERNED)

Five and Klaus probably get into the most shenanigans? Klaus gets less and less afraid of ghosts the more he runs into nice ones like Fred Weasley. Fred also lovingly nurtures Klaus’s absolutely terrible sense of humor and encourages him to prank the whole school. Klaus knows ALL the secret passageways thanks to Fred, a previous owner of the Maurauder’s map, so he’s just like. Constantly in the walls. He once dropped out of the ceiling to get to transfiguration in time and nobody even commented on it because Klaus is just Like That.

(A few people see Klaus’s boney elbows and knobbley knees and thinks he’s a good target for bullying just because he’s a slytherin and interhouse awfulness absolutely it at an all time high so recently after the war. YEAH his siblings step in and put the fear of god into any bullies, but Klaus fights like a cornered raccoon.)

Five is just way too smart and curious for his own good. He likes to poke around, figure things out, and also make money. Five does people’s homework, charges them for potions or rune work, tutors, dismantles shit in the chamber of secrets, ALSO explores the secret passageways (and finds some that weren’t on the map), is lovingly bullied into Friendship Activities with his housemates, breaks into the other houses’s common rooms for funsies, and keeps getting fed by the house elves who found out he can ‘apparate’ like them (without a wand) and have apparently adopted him against his will

Five is the sibling who has his fingers in like. ALL the pies. and just constantly pops up and drags them into things. Five will be helping Klaus with potions homework then glance up and tell Diego he’s cashing in the favor he’s owed for carving runes into Diego’s knives and that Diego now gets to break into Douglas Eddington’s room to steal back Lana Delwich’s diary so that Five can trade it to Lana for her rare Solomon Babik chocolate frog card which Five can give to Barnaby Beeson in exchange for a Large Distraction of Five’s Choice and a sketchy book on ward breaking which Five needs so he can break into the headmaster’s office to get a confiscated dark magic book that has some information Five needs to alter a potion that he’s probably going to make Luther drink later

Five is the sibling who is like “Ugh, I thought I was trading for some nundu ingredients but now i have a Whole Baby Nundu in the basement :/”

Which, of course, Klaus wants to keep despite the poison breath.

“This is literally one of the most dangerous magical creatures, we are not keeping it.” Luther says, unimpressed. However, he definitely has it cradled in his arms and makes kissy faces at it when he thinks no one is looking. (Apparently baby toxic nundu breath only makes Luther sneeze, so there’s that?)

“If you guys are arrested for smuggling I am not bailing you out.” Is Allison’s only decree about the matter.

Honestly I wouldn’t be shocked if someone DID eventually find out about one of the siblings’ powers - however, they would come to entirely the wrong conclusion about them?? Because this is a world of MAGIC and so everything magical has to have a magical explanation, right???

Luther is durable as all fuck???? Uhhhhh maybe he has some like. Troll blood or giant blood something back in his family line, obviously not something he would ever want the world to know about bc of species-ism

Allison can make you do whatever you want with her words????? Maybe she’s part veela? With that charm appeal?

Five is doing. Wandless apparation?? I mean, that’s rare as FUCK but wandless magic is,,, grudgingly accepted though it’s usually only used for small or very familiar spells and not usually something as complex as apparation but OKAY just sit him down and forbid him from doing it anymore bc boy boutta be SPLICED or some shit

Klaus can. Klaus can talk to ghosts. Who are not full ghosts. Hmm. huh. Maybe it’s?? A family ability??? a super rare one? like being a metamorphagus? (What the fuck??????? what the FUCK???????)

Primarily the kids started off paranoid because they believed that their abilities indicated that they weren’t the same type of magic, and they didn’t want to be returned to their father, and then it progressed into “these abilities might make people scared of us (looking at you allison, with your imperius-ass abilites)” or “we can’t afford that kind of scrutiny or curiosity about our powers (they might find out luther is a werewolf or something idk)” and “if we are ‘desirable’ children with ‘rare abilities’ the government might try to split us up and adopt us into weird pureblood families or something OR might try to lock us up (like where would they even put Ben??)”

honestly if ben ever got found out he’d just deadpan “it’s a curse, hand me the black wormroot would you?” and be like “oh yeah it’s under control i just go vibe in the woods every so often and rip up a tree or something. I think the horror wants to be the whomping willow when it grows up actually, so just don’t get too close when i’m in the horror zone. if you can live with a murder tree on campus you can live with me on campus”

someone sees vanya fuck something up with his powers and is like ???? and Vanya is just like “accidental magic lol” 

“aren’t you... a bit... old for accidental magic...”

“accidental. magic.”

#hogwarts au #they get into so many shenanigans op you have no idea #honestly they probably get a lot looser with publically using their powers #except for allison #she keeps a lock on that shit bc it's an azkaban sentence for using imperius babie #also yes vanya is trans in the hogwarts au now sorry i don't make the rules #congrats elliot page for coming out #i'll probably vary between my aus what is going on with vanya but hogwarts au vanya is trans #he shares a room with ben and gets dragged along to help ben break into greenhouses #five has put himself in charge of getting funds for their futures #because they might survive on the hogwarts orphan fund right now but what about AFTER diego #allison is going to become a famous quidditch player so she doesn't care #but the REST of them??? #allison is a jock and you can pry that from my cold dead hands #they have less 'take down the government' school shenanigans #more 'magical school that can kill you' type things #and also whatever shady shit five has gotten into #the slytherins have given up keeping five out of their common room #someone: what have you got there? #ben with the horror out gesturing with a tentacle: a smoothie #luther about being a werewolf: i'm a MONSTER #five: and WHERE was this attitude when you ate my last jar of marshmallow fluff? #the siblings are all just. immune to bullshit now honestly #long post #far tua long #Anonymous

[majorsoapfan]

Umbrella Academy Season 3 Wish list

This is a long one so buckle up:

Let Klaus and Allison take centre-stage this season in leading the plot. Both are incredible characters and deserve the chance to shine. And I can think of several reasons why they deserve the chance to take centre-stage: out of the whole Academy their powers are some of the most fascinating and in Klaus’ case he has so many that haven’t been revealed yet. They’ve both suffered and lost a lot as well, particularly in season 2 and their hardships tend to get ignored by others. Their relationship together is already really interesting and supportive and they would be an awesome team up. There’s more but I’ll be here forever if I tried to list them.

No Apocalypse. The world ending in eight days was a great plot driver in season 1 and again in season 2 with the reveal that the end of the world actually followed the Umbrella’s back in time. But if the same thing gets repeated over and over then I’m worried that the show will lose it’s edge as a result. In order for the characters to develop new crisis's need to take its place.

Let Five have a rest. Even if it’s just for an episode or two so he can get a solid eight hours sleep if nothing else. For the last two seasons Five has been running around non-stop trying to stop the end of the world and save his family. Without that Five can grow as a person and get a literal break that he really hasn’t gotten in 45 years.

Oh course that doesn’t mean I want Five out of the drama entirely and I do expect to see Reginald and Five scenes in season 3. Five is the only one of his original children that the bastard seemed to tolerate and he did seem to have some form of twisted respect for Five as well. And I wouldn’t put it past the monocle monster to have some twisted plans in store for the eldest member of the Umbrella Academy. He’s had fifty years to plan for the Umbrella’s return after all.

The Sparrows. I just saw the line up of the Sparrows for season three and I am honestly so interested. I can’t wait to see what their powers are like and I already have some ideas. They have so much potential and hopefully they’ll be done well. And so far they seem to be written as the Umbrella’s foils. Marcus is a natural leader who loves his family, while Luther forces himself into the role and alienated his family as a result. Both Ben and Diego long to be the leader but while Diego is more emotional, Ben’s more strategic. Five is driven by his love and desire to protect his family, while Sloane feels held back by hers. Vanya was treated as an outcast and betrayed her siblings trust while Christopher, a literal Cube, is said to be loyal and is treated as a loved family member 

That being said though, I don’t want the Sparrows to be the main focus this season or have the attention split between them and the Umbrella’s. Because while I do want to see the Sparrows and their family dynamic and how they interact with the Umbrella’s, I would prefer to see how the Umbrella Hargreeves’ cope with their existent and how this impacts them and how they move forward with this. Or a team up between Sparrows and Umbrella’s would be fine. Or multiple team ups, I’m not picky.

There is a really good fan theory out there about Klaus and Five being twins and while I know that in the comics it’s Luther and Five, the fan theory in season 3 would be so much better in my opinion. And in all honesty it makes so much more sense. Physically they are strikingly similar, especially as children. Their powers both concentrate in their hands and emit a blue glow when they use them. Their powers themselves are literally time and death, which are linked and they have additive personalities, which can be inherited between family members. And I can’t help but feel that this moment:

lends a new level to their relationship then what we see with them as adults. Look at how alike they are! And that fond smile that Five is giving Klaus? Making them twins opens up a wide range of possibilities for Klaus and Five both character and plot wise.

Give Luther a proper love interest. And I can’t believe that this even has to be said but his sister does not count! Literally all of siblings have have romantic interests, all of them so important in the Umbrella’s life in some way or another. It would be nice too to see Luther form a healthy romantic connection for the first time in his life.

While I’m on the subject of Luther and healthy relationships, it also brings me back to the Sparrows and how their number one Marcus seems to be Luther’s foil. And it would be interesting for the show to explore just how seeing the Sparrows and someone so similar to Luther might just affect him. He did spend thirty years of his life after all being Reginald’s little solider and believing that his position as Number One made him the family leader only to find out it was all for nothing. Only Marcus seems to be respected in his position as leader and loves his family dearly, while Luther was mocked and seems to have driven all of his siblings bar Allison away from him because of it. This has incredible potential for Luther’s character arc this season especially if it makes him acknowledge his behaviour to his siblings as they were growing up; particularly to Klaus and Vanya who probably got the worst of it. Allison after all was his closest companion, Diego was his rival (more or less), Ben seemingly got on with everyone and Five would have bitten Luther’s head off if he tried anything. But Reginald’s disappointments Klaus and Vanya? Luther, wanting to impress their dad and follow his orders probably didn’t treat them the best. And I want Luther to admit that and apologise and make the next step in becoming a better person and brother. He’s made incredible progress in season 2, but I don’t want his past treatment of his siblings to be swept under the rug. It needs to be acknowledged and Luther needs to admit it was wrong so he can grow. 

Can we get Diego’s season one hair back too? I wondered just how it got that long considering that he was only in the sixties for around three months. Klaus makes sense as he was in the sixties for years. Plenty of time for him to grow it out, not really for Diego. But I really prefer his season one hair so can it make a comeback please?

What I want to see for Vanya this season is for her to realize that she doesn’t need powers to be special. I kinda noticed that she seems to have defined her worth on her powers and that’s not healthy. So a potential scenario: Reginald seems to have made the power-suppressing drug himself, so he may still have it in season 3. Imagine Vanya getting a dose of it that knocks her powers out for a good chunk of time and in the meantime some of her siblings are in danger (I’m picturing Luther and Diego here the himbos) and she ends up saving them. Not with her powers but because of her intelligence and other skills that she has and she realizes that she doesn’t need her powers to be special or to save the day. A logical step in character growth.

Getting some closure on season 2 character like Sissy, Ray, Grace, the Cult (which I really didn’t like) and the Swede and what happened to them once the Umbrella’s left the sixties. And maybe finding out what happened to season one’s characters since the Umbrella’s didn’t exist in this timeline: Agnes, Patch, Leonard, Pogo, Claire.

For Klaus and Umbrella Ben to talk about their issues and make up. I know that our Ben is now up there with the little girl in the sky but that has not stopped Klaus from visiting heaven before. And I think that if Klaus and Ben do not get at least one final conversation to talk through their issues next season then I will sue. They both did crappy things to each other in season two but they both love each other dearly and they deserve the chance to get the closure they both need. I think that Klaus will definitely need it in order to move on completely.

I know I said no Apocalypse but I’m still going to be expecting some major crisis to happen during the last few episodes. An alien invasion or Sparrows trying to kill the Umbrella's maybe? But no matter what the problem is, I really want Klaus to get his moment to shine by being the one to save the day. Reginald said himself that Klaus has untapped potential and we know thanks to the comics what other powers he has. And thanks to Ben’s antics at the family dinner the old bastard has probably written him off as useless and not a threat when making plans to deal with the Umbrella’s. Which means nobody is going to be looking at Klaus or considering him a potential threat to their plans, leaving Klaus relatively safe to start exploring and enhancing his powers. He was supposed to be the one to have done it in season one with the moon and his abilities were brushed to the side completely in season two or used for Ben’s benefit so I think he’s long overdue his moment to shine. And maybe then will the rest of his siblings stop seeing Klaus as a joke.

Lila. I don’t think we’ve seen the last of her, her story felt unfinished and she does have a briefcase. She could pop at any moment in the story. She has so much potential and I did love her actress. Imagine her and Five forcing to team up or something? Or maybe her and Allison?

Another character I’d like to see return is Hazel. He’s someone who really grew on me. And there is a chance that he could return and maybe team up with the Umbrella’s this season. Potential scenarios: Five on the hunt for allies to help him restore the timeline hunts down Hazel who in this timeline is working with the Commission and because the Umbrellas don’t exist hasn’t met Agnes yet. Maybe something happened to her because of the Sparrows?

Finally Dave. I’m a huge Dave fan but I really don’t want him to show up in season three. Or if he does then for the smallest amount of time possible just to give Klaus some ‘closure’. Time travel is in the Umbrella Academy universe after all and it’s possible that by Klaus warning Dave about his faith and causing him to enlist earlier and in a different branch as a result he’s saved Dave and opened up the possibility of seeing Commission!Dave later. Which is the perfect storyline for season 4. Season three is only 10 episodes long and there’ll be a lot going on already so shoving Dave into what will already be a pretty packed season won’t give Dave the attention he deserves and will take away from the other focus. Not only that but Klaus’ motivation for the last two seasons is doing something for either Dave or Ben. I want to see Klaus train his powers either for himself or to help someone else. Also, Dave deserves the chance to grow as a character as well and making him a part of season 3 would take away from the main focus of the Umbrella’s and Sparrows. Making him a main focus in season four instead if we get one will give a great opportunity story-wise to develop both him and Klaus as individuals and as a couple.

#the umbrella academy #tua #the umbrella academy season 3 #the sparrow academy #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #reginald hargreeves #marcus hargreeves #fei hargreeves #jayme hargreeves #alphonso hargreeves #sloane hargreeves #christopher the cube #christopher hargreeves

[feralnumberfive]

The Rewatch Academy: Episode 6 of Season 1

“The Day That Wasn’t”

I am in no way a good analyst so my little analysis and speculations probably sound a bit goofy or pretty wild and probably mean nothing at all. Everything I put into this post about each episode is purely what I noticed or thought, whether it’s funny or serious. I will be making jokes, so please just leave it at that (in no way am I trying to make fun of an actor and or character!) I am also in no way saying I noticed this stuff first. This is just what I noticed while rewatching these episodes

☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂

| 1x01 | 1x02 | 1x03 | 1x04 | 1x05 |

☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂

☂ Klaus is lucky that he never got the briefcase shot up

☂ *Hears Klaus flush the toilet and talk* Luther: Oh good, you’re up

☂ Also Luther gave Klaus about two seconds to get up before hounding him again on getting downstairs

☂ Sounds like Tom’s accent slipped a little bit when he said “three days”

☂ Yeah they needed to have a family meeting right away and yet they took the time to go get coffee or at least order it and have it delivered

☂ “Old bastard” and “Our little psycho” 

☂ I still don’t get at this point how they wouldn’t believe Five. Look at him, he himself is evidence of his time traveling! He was gone for 45 years, but to them it was only 17. Either way they try to grasp at that, Five would look older if he made it back without messing up. He knew about their father’s death without anyone telling him. I really think all the mistrust comes from the way he looks and the way he acts (they obviously believe he’s just crazy right now)

☂ “What did Five even see?”

☂ Also throw back to 1x02 and I didn’t realized this until now but Five doesn’t have his tie

☂ I know it’s for the title card gag but no one questions the random umbrella falling and popping open

☂ I aspire to be as sarcastic as Hazel

☂ So where exactly is The Commission HQ at? Is it a random location in the real world? If so then wouldn’t normal people happen to stumble upon it? What about their location in space in the comics? Is this in space?? All we know is that it’s in/based off of the year 1955

☂ “I’d like to discuss the logistics of my family’s safety at your earliest convenience.” He cuts right to what’s most important to him. No “How will you stop the apocalypse?” or “What’s my job?” and even “How will my body replacement work?”

☂ Five sounds almost like he’s snapped back into a work mindset. He's suddenly polite and calm with The Handler. Maybe being back in a work environment has made his brain automatically switch into being more professional. However he might also be acting this way to try to throw her off of him being antsy with a plan

☂ Here's some Commission posters shown throughout 1x06

☂ One of us, one of us, one of us-

☂ So basically The Commission makes up history? How do they know what to do and when to make something happen? How do they know it’s right? And what’s The Commission supposed to do when the world ends? Haven't they already fixed stuff in the past or are there just continuous time loops so they need to make sure things happen over and over again? If multiple historical events happen with multiple ways they are made, then which one gets to be in the original timeline??

☂ Dot: No hard feelings! 😁

Ma’am does it look like he’s going to accept that

☂ Wait why are Hazel and Cha-Cha considered the best Temporal Assassins if Five was/is the best?

☂ Well Five has the job of taking down the Hindenburg again but this time from behind a desk. So it’s possible to accomplish “corrections” without actually having assassins do the work. So I guess there’s just so many timelines that they need to fix every single one of them over and over? That sounds like a pain in the ass

☂ TUA portraits!

☂ Y’know I have to agree with Allison on this one. Vanya was left out, however she’s offering to talk with her about the important family matter and Vanya is just denying it. I get she’s upset, but her sister is offering to include her. After Vanya leaves Allison immediately wants to go after her to talk with her. On the other hand Allison should have told her it was an emergency meeting and that they didn’t have the time to ask Vanya to join them

☂ Klaus seems genuinely concerned/upset for Vanya

☂ “We need to figure out what causes the apocalypse. Now, there are loads of possibilities. Nuclear war, asteroids.” Wow spot on, Luther! I can’t believe they actually included foreshadowing for both apocalypses (even though technically it was a chunk of the moon, not an asteroid.) I wonder how much foreshadowing for S3 was put into S2.......

☂ I know it’s big joke about Luther and the moon, but the poor guy just really believes that he was on the moon for an important reason. I mean if I were in his shoes I would believe him too since he had to send a lot of daily updates and samples

☂ “Klaus shockingly has a point. What gives us a win this time?” Shhhh careful Diego, he’s right behind you

☂ Luther is initially the only one onboard with Five on trying to stop the apocalypse. All the others want to go off and do their own thing before the world ends. He tries to get The Umbrella Academy back together to work as a team, but his leadership skills are now severely lacking. Do people *cough cough* mainly people who hate him *cough cough* overlook Luther wanting to also get his family together to stop the apocalypse with his family? Definitely. 

☂ “We need the full force of the Academy to stand a chance.” Well golly gee, Allison, what did did Luther just try to do? Was that not him trying to round up all of The Umbrella Academy to stop the apocalypse? 

☂ Even though Vanya is ranting, how does she not hear all the creaking metal and shaking cars?

☂ *it’s sunny around them but just the block they’re walking on is rainy until she calms down* “ThAt’S a CoInCiDeNcE.” 

☂ The hall floor and Diego’s floor are so dusty

☂ It’s sweet that Diego wants Klaus to get clean in a safe way instead of going cold turkey 

☂ Dot, what does “utter silence” mean to you?

☂ “Look at you, deadly little thing.” You’re not wrong, but I don’t think he appreciates being called “thing”

☂ Such a smug smile

☂ So how does Five know all of this about Karl and his son? Does it talk about Otto never washing his hands in the file? That seems like an oddly specific detail but I guess in a case file it gives as many details as possible for the worker to figure out who needs to get assassinated

☂ There are a few cog references all relating to The Commission, so I wonder if this is a nod to “Teenagers” or if they’re just using this terminology

☂ Odd tattoos (sorry for the super blurry pic)

☂ “Can I ask you a cuckoo bananas question?” Hazel is such a fun guy

☂ “Wouldn’t it be nice to kill who you want for a change?” You mean like straight up unhinged murder? 

☂ The first time I watched this Hazel and Cha-Cha scene I for sure thought that Hazel was a dead man

☂ This scene just absolutely breaks my heart 💔

☂ *skips 25:24-27:42*

☂ Diego is just so accepting to everything Klaus is saying

☂ I’m sorry, are we suddenly on the set of The Phantom of the Opera?

☂ Diego, I think you’re forgetting a very important person in your life who you let down too who is also dead......(poor Ben can’t believe what his brother just said so he leaves)

☂ “Ordinary is not a word I’d use to describe you.” You’re right, it’s “Extra Ordinary” ha! Sorry Vanya, I had to use that joke

☂ Well at least we know Five ate a sandwich 

☂ How exciting! The same division that made a simple candy taste like a candy from the past, but technically it’s not the past since The Commission HQ is based in 1955, is building a human body! That sounds so promising 

☂ Sooooo whatever happened to Five’s new body? Is it just sitting in a lab somewhere?? Or is The Handler just lying about it to try to get Five to stay at The Commission?

☂ With the amount of time Five was staring at the suit, it obviously hurt him to know that while he has a new body within reach, he’s not going to get it because he’s about to leave

☂ “Course it’s a bit easier to see from 30,000 feet.” What is she talking about Reconnaissance aircraft? There was no mention of aircraft though so why would she bring that up? My closest guess is that she’s referring to strategic bombing in general, or even the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki

☂ It sounds like Five suddenly has a New York accent when he says “operator” when talking to The Handler about Gloria

☂ Fuck you, Veggie Tales Hargreeves

☂ *skips 36:47-39:48*

☂ Well there’s your hit, Klaus

☂ I love the camera moving with Klaus as he falls and the transition into Vietnam

☂ “Lock and load, Charlie’s away!” Wikipedia’s definition of a “Charlie” is  an American military slang referring to the Viiet Cong and North Vietnamese soldiers

☂ Klaus desperately calling out for a medic hurts my heart

☂ Well Luther if you had left then your body wouldn’t be the way it is now

☂ *fucking skips 45:41-50:00* 

☂ Ooooh I just really love the entirety of the “Kill Of The Night” scene! If you listen to the lyrics it’s about someone luring someone into a trap to get revenge because they messed with the wrong person (it’s also about love but we’re going to ignore that part). I personally believe it’s aimed at The Commission from Five because the entire time it plays he’s messing things up for them and in some way it’s like a little bit of revenge from him

☂ Why is Gloria confused on who Hazel and Cha-Cha are? Hasn’t she heard their names a ton of times especially since they’re some of the best assassins?

☂ How did Five know which tubes to put the messages in? 

☂ You can see at this part how Five immediately gets anxious and antsy. He has a wild look in his eyes. From this point onwards he’s constantly moving, shaking with energy, anticipation, and probably a little bit of anger

☂ “You’re a great disappointment to me.” That’s definitely not the first time he’s heard that

☂ “I don’t belong anywhere thanks to you. You made me a killer!” The first part of that stings. Obviously he feels like he doesn’t belong anywhere, but again I think has to do with the whole “good” and “bad” thing that’s going on. He feels like he doesn’t belong at home because he’s “bad” and has done a lot of dark stuff to get home (it doesn’t help that Luther voiced his acknowledgment of this  to Five and now he has that in his mind that Luther knows and somewhat views him as “bad”). Five 100% feels shame in what he has done, and definitely has an issue of coming back to his family with blood on his hands form what he has done. He doesn’t belong in The Commission anymore because he doesn’t want to stay there to do their dirty work to kill or give out kill orders. He’s done with that or at least wants to be done with that life.

The last statement though is Five taking his anger and guilt about being becoming an assassin out on The Handler. She brought him into The Commission, which in turn he became the best assassin across The Space-Time Continuum. It’s not something he’s proud of, and he never enjoyed killing (as much as I want it to be the DNA alteration I just don’t think it exists in the show or at least not yet). However The Handler replies with “You were always a killer. I just pointed you in a direction.” which you can immediately tell has struck a chord with Five. For the briefest second he looks taken aback and his eyes ever so slightly open wider in shock, whether he took that as the truth or just a terrible accusation isn’t exactly clear. Either way he doesn’t like being accused or hearing the truth out loud of always being able to be murderous, a killer. 

I believe it’s a mixture of The Handler just trying to get into his head and a combination of the truth. Reginald trained The Umbrella Academy to use brute force, but that doesn’t mean Five had killed anyone but he was definitely violent when it came to stopping bad guys (not to mention in the pilot script he was called a “Ruthless little war machine” after violently attacking and decapitating a bunch of mannequins)

☂ Diego: I’m going to go kill Hazel and Cha-Cha!........Riiiiight after I get done walking with my mom in the park

☂ He’s so happy to see Klaus again 

☂ ✨Gremlin✨

☂ Who exactly does Five owe a debt to? Maybe his family after accidentally leaving them and now he wants to save them? Or is it a singular person?  

☂ Ouch! Now that’s what I call a problem later!

☂ 

☂ Five using “Ya’ll” is weird to hear

☂ Five is talking to his siblings like he knows what’s been happening but in reality he’s rarely been at home so how would he know

☂ I love that Five doesn't even answer Diego at the end and instead just stares at his siblings 

☂☂☂☂☂☂☂

Feel free to comment or reblog with things you have noticed too!

#surprise here's another long over due post! #tra #the rewatch academy #the umbrella academy #umbrella academy

[zontiky]

okay so i tried to save this ask as a draft and it got deleted because tumblr is just such a functional website like that <3 but the prompt was “the hargreeves as ghosts in the apocalypse with five” or something like that i’m going to scream

this is SUPER long so i’m putting it under the cut hfkjsd

pre-five: the hargreeves siblings are dead. wait i feel a drabble coming on ooh

The Hargreeves siblings are dead.

Ben isn’t very aware of this at first. He’s been dead since 2006 -- he’s quite used to it, by now. What he is aware of, first, is light. Blinding white light. And Vanya, in the middle of it. He doesn’t close his eyes because he can’t feel pain, but if he could he thinks she would have made him blind. There’s light, and heat, and power, and then he closes his eyes anyway because the ceiling is collapsing around him and it’s instinctual.

When he opens them again he sees ash. Ash -- and Klaus.

He’s gotten used to Klaus, too. Klaus has a memorable sort of face; even if he didn’t, Ben has seen it every single day for almost twenty years. He doesn’t know if it’s actually been twenty years, for him. He doesn’t know how time moves for ghosts. Klaus has assured him it moves the same as it does for the living. Ben isn’t sure Klaus, stoned out of his mind, bleeding sluggishly from his arm, knew what he was talking about.

Anyway.

Klaus.

He’s wearing the coat he’s been flaunting around for the past week. His shirt is see-through, with little stars on it, like a pale imitation of the sky. Ben remembers his pants had laces on them, he’s sure they did not a minute ago, before the brightness that threatened to wipe out his very soul -- his soul is all he has left, really. His gaze drifts down anyway, to check.

Yes. Klaus’ pants have laces up the sides.

“No,” Ben says. Klaus is laying in a heap on the ground, his fingers curled like his tendons have been cut.

His lips feel numb because they always feel numb. Because Ben can’t feel at all. He takes a step. “No,” he says again, louder, surer. “No!”

Klaus looks up at him. His makeup is smudged, like it tends to be. His lips are bitten raw, like they tend to be. His hair is a mess, like it tends to be, and like it will be, always, because Klaus isn’t breathing.

Klaus is lying in a heap on the ground. Klaus is standing above his own body. Klaus is reaching for Ben like he’s hoping to touch him for the first time in years. Just when Klaus’ cold, dead, fingers brush his face, a voice from behind says, so quietly, dripping with disbelief: “Ben?”

Ben shuts his eyes and wishes desperately he could cry.

He feels a hand on his shoulder, for the first time in so, so long, but he also doesn’t feel it at all. He feels-but-doesn’t-feel someone turn him around, until they are saying, “Ben? Ben!” and he has no choice but to open his eyes and face the music.

Diego is gripping his shoulders like he is a dying man and Ben is the answer. Behind him, Luther and Allison watch them, stunned silent. Allison’s hands are pressed to her mouth. She looks like she wants to cry. 

And Vanya. Little Vanya, painted white. Her head is hung as her shoulders shake with the weight of the destruction she has so inevitably caused. (Ben would say he always knew she was destined for great things -- but he can’t, because he didn’t.) (Nobody ever said great things had to be good.)

The Hargreeves siblings are dead. Their bodies are strewn across what is left of their childhood home, smouldering and burning, and Ben is very aware of that fact.

righto anyway. so they have an emotional reunion but its also kind of bitter? id have to actually write this for it to make sense so lets skip it for now lol

five shows up

he cannot see them obviously bc theyre all ghosts

god if i did write this it would be such a monster of a fic and would take me like 2 years to finish i already know fhkjdsk

somehow ?? they manage to influence the world around them maybe? idk maybe now that klaus is dead hes sober

or maybe hes high for all eternity?

for the purposes of this au lets say he died sober or in the late stages of withdrawal, and bc ghosts cant feel pain in action hes sober

so EVENTUALLY they figure out how to corporealize bc klaus is like blam wham ghost powers

asdlfk that sounds so stupid im sorry

he would say that tho imho,,, it sounds like something hed say,,,

if i DID write this it would be alternating povs also,,,

ok so out of all of them klaus and ben have the most experience homeless

and while being stuck in an apocalypse is not at all the same thing as being homeless it does help to have some knowledge

five doesnt eat the twinkie!! good for him

dammit okay. theres 2 options we can take here. in the comics five couldnt get back bc he fucked up his math and spent 15 years doing the wrong thing, but if u apply that here, with 6 other ppl checking his work this could be avoided and they end up skipping the whole assassin shtick and just hopping straight back to 2019, ready to prevent the apocalypse

OR five still gets hired for the commission but the sibs are tagging along

i think bc five isnt completely alone in this au unfortunately dolores doesnt exist :((

for each other the 2 paths tho theres also options?? bc they (ghosts) can go back in time and inhabit their past selves bodies? OR they could just,,, cease to exist

IM JUST NOW REALIZING HOW MANY PATHS THIS COULD TAKE,, AAH FUCK

okay gonna split this into parts. this is gonna be so long brace yourselves.

1) they go back in time because math checking and the ghosts swap out for their past selves

after multiple years of being stuck in an apocalypse together i think they would learn to get along with each other. like at least a little bit

which would make it easier for them to prevent the apocalypse

bc theyd:

trust each other more

already know abt the apocalypse and not have to wait for five to grace them all with his knowledge

are working as a team from the very beginning

have open lines of communication

yeah uh. so there

vanya is also already aware of her powers so the whole harold goading her into turning against her family and snapping to wipe out all life on earth thing? yeah that doesnt happen

oh and harold wouldn’t know how to do that in the first place because klaus wouldn’t throw out reggie’s journal! this solves so many problems wtf

there’s still commission issues bc they (and by they i mean five) are on the commission’s radar

so there’s still dope fight scenes sdlkfd pinky promise

okay idk. they stop the apocalypse and everything is okay the end hfkjd

2) they fix the math but only five can go back and the ghosts cease to exist

this is just sad! it would be sad okay! im sad! lets move on

subset of the past one: ben CAN go back with five because he was already dead and time travel affects them differently or something idk

aaaaaa

five & ben dynamic duo would be dope as shit BUT five would not be able to see him... so they use klaus as a middleman fjsdsfd

is there 2 bens? is one ben deleted in favor of the time-traveling ben? i dont know! i dont know my brain is melting

either way shit is happening yall!! obviously klaus is clued in, directly or indirectly it doesnt matter but he is on board the ‘don’t let the entire world end in flames’ train

3) they join the commission and then when five goes back in time they all go back

this is fun because now five is a highly trained assassin who is also lowkey a complete marshmallow for his siblings and once again TEAMWORK WOO

basically the first path but now five has a gun fhsdjk

4) they join the commission but five has to leave them behind and they cease to exist

five with a gun but hes sad now

i didnt go into how much losing his siblings would suck in the prev path but like. it would suck so much. he’s already lost them once if you think about it when he time traveled the first time and yeah he found the adult ghost versions but,, its different

and now suddenly hes stuck with these strange adult versions of the people he knows and he KNOWS them but also he doesnt? at all? they dont have all the years of shared experiences together? and theyre all grown up from the first ‘set’ of siblings he had which for five was like 40+ years ago??

SCREAMS

i have losing my mind disease (self-diagnosed)

subset: five has to leave them behind but they still exist because the commission is out-of-time kind of? idk but they’re still floating around somewhere and come back to impact the plot later or something

yeah idk. literally just wrote them down bc i didnt want them to die^2 hfkjwehd

subset: they still exist but instead of being just Somewhere they’re specifically at the assassination of JFK onwards because thats where five left them and they either go on ghosting and make an appearance in s2 OR they cease because them-wise they havent died yet but that doesnt make sense because ghosts can time travel so nevermind

i dont have the brain energy left to explore this one aaaa

okay jesus christ i think that’s all

I DON’T KNOW. i don’t know. i might write some more of this because honestly it is a very fine flavor of angst + hurt/comfort <3

#didnt proofread this at all 💀 fhsdfks #tua #the umbrella academy #pls dont let this flop i spent like an hour on it hfjksd #aus #team zero #ben hargreeves #wip #I GUESS #misc #ghosting au

[isabellitah]

🤍 HARGREEVES FAMILY

————————————————-

Title : new normal

Pairing : none- this focuses on Five 🤍

Warning : none

Note : this is based on @klaus-is-the-real-number-1 ’s soft post apocalypse fluff ahh thank you so much for giving me permission to do this ! I love your work alskjdl oh! And you guys can read the HC here 🤍

Also I didn’t know if she/they’d be okay w me adding Number Eight sooo 👀 this contains no Number Eight or reader insert. And- I added my own tweaks to it. I hope you still enjoy tho 🤍

————————————————-

so…

the apocalypse is permanently over

everything-

everything’s… normal

so-

now what?

majority of Five’s life was dedicated in stopping the apocalypse

and now that he accomplished that and lived

he doesn’t know what to do

his siblings can go back to their everyday lives

but him?

he has to start from scratch

he has no formal education

or hobby

or job

i mean-

his whole life was the apocalypse

either that or killing

but neither are on option he wants in his future

so what is he to do?

what’s the new normal for the Hargreeves Siblings?

It was Klaus and Allison’s idea, really. For the entire family to move into their childhood home- permanently. To quote the excuse Allison used, “well we did the impossible with stopping the end of the world- why not make new and happy memories where most of our nightmares occured?” and just like that, the Hargreeves siblings were all under one roof once more.

Now- Five is technically older than every single one of them but does that stop them from treating him like the child he looks like? HA! nO-

But they do respect him because c’mon-

The boy guy is willing to go through puberty twice just to make sure they live a long ass life- of course they’d respect him. Not to mention that as their sibling- they love him- even if they show it in their own odd ways.

As a man that looks like a child, Allison basically mothers him- not really the smothering type of mother but rather the type that makes sure he eats healthily, sleeps enough, and overall just takes care of himself. And Five lets her because he knows that aside from showing she cares, it’s her way of coping that she still isn’t allowed to see her daughter. And let’s be real here- all the Hargreeves siblings long for positive and loving attention aimed towards them so you bet that no matter how much Five grumbles about Allison’s mothering, he secretly loves it- he loves that someone cares enough to look after him- actually show him that he still matters and is still a part of the family.

And another thing- due to the numerous traumas bestowed on him by both being in the apocalypse and in the commission, Five hates sleeping alone. In the apocalypse, he always fell asleep hoping that it was all a nightmare- that when he wakes up it’ll be to the bright morning light streaming into his room from the window. While working for the commission, he fell asleep with thoughts of how to travel back in time to stop the apocalypse- only to wake up due to the nightmares varying from seeing his siblings’ dead bodies or hearing siblings’ blame him for their deaths- that he couldn’t save them. And so, because of the fear that he’ll wake up and everyone will be gone or he’ll be back in the apocalypse or the commission, he developed a habit of sneaking into his any of his siblings’ rooms armed with a blanket and a pillow at night and proceed to sleep on the floor only to disappear minutes before they wake up. This worked well until Luther tripped over him one night and screamed like a lil girl shouted like a man. Luckily Five didn't wake up as it was one of those rare times that he was in a deep sleep. Upon noticing that it was his older younger brother, he lifted Five up and placed him on his bed before turning around to give him space. Not even two steps later, he felt a hand around his wrist before he heard Five mutter, “please don’t leave me alone…”.

Yeah- during breakfast that day, Luther told everyone, much to Five’s dismay but hey- at least Five never sleeps alone again- and he rarely has nightmares nowadays, and when he does- his siblings are there for him to comfort him and remind him that he’s home now and that he's safe with them.

And another thing- after finding out everything Five’s done for the family, you bet that they all became softer and more protective of him. But Diego? Oh Diego went to the next level- he literally became Five’s bodyguard slash guard dog. The man literally barked at some kid when he made fun of Five’s uniform I- the kid ran away crying. Diego looked pleased while Five just facepalmed- but he had a smirk on his face. It was amusing and worrying, to say the least, for passer-bys that day to see a grown man in all black looking like a full-blown assassin barking at a grade schooler.

Next scene- Klaus’ drug problem- they all band together to help him- don’t try to convince me otherwise- this is canon to me. And they struggled with it at first what with Klaus being stubborn but his siblings combined are even more so- but what actually made him start to put in more effort to be clean was when he heard Five mutter that he didn’t want to loose him again. You bet that that night, Klaus cuddled Five in Five’s own room.

Every Thursday night they always make time to all sit down on the floor in front of Vanya who stood in front of the fireplace. No matter how busy their schedule was that day- no matter how tired they are- hearing Vanya playing the violin always eased all their muscles enough to make the, all fall asleep then and there. After about three pieces, Vanya joins in on them- cuddling in between Five and Allison- right at the center of their cuddle pile. Between Allison and Luther is Diego, while Klaus is between Ben and Five. i refuse to have Ben dead fight me

Speaking of Ben- he’s a famous poet now! His most famous book of poetry is, as you guessed it, about his love for his family. And of course it was dedicated to said family. Five was the first one who bought it- Ben didn’t know that Five stayed up late to get the book because let’s be real here- some die hard fans probs stayed up late to try to get the first copy too. It was rumored that the first copy always had a polaroid copy from Ben’s personal album- none of the previous first buyers ever confirmed or denied it nor have they ever shared the picture- it was between them and Ben only. Anyway- when Five got it, it actually had a personal and handwritten note from the author, thanking him for being the first buyer of that book- and the two polaroids attached to it was one of his family, and one of him with Klaus and Five. In the polaroid of him, Klaus, and Ben, Ben was smiling widely at the camera while Klaus and Five jokingly kissed his cheeks. And underneath that polaroid was written, “nice try, Five- I saw the address and immediately knew it was you. Thanks though and I love you -Ben 🤍”

A new development- that everyone loves- is playing with Five’s hair. Even just brushing their hand through it can somehow feel so soothing to the siblings. Five would just be sat in his chair in the kitchens drinking his coffee or on the couch eating the sandwich Allison made him- and someone will just walk past and run their hand through his hair or actually sit next to him on the couch and just play with his hair. They’d never get any complaints. Heck- he once laid his head on Ben’s lap right after finishing his sandwich and whined when Ben teasingly stopped his petting then actually let out a purr when Ben continued the motion of combing his hand through his hair. In conclusion, Five acts like a cat sometimes.

A way to end the week right is to have a slumber party with your siblings. With that said- every Saturday night, to celebrate another successful week finished, they all have a slumber party where they have a movie marathon, pig out on takeaway, snack on various junk foods, and talk about nearly anything and everything under the sun all night long until they all fall sleep in one big pile. If one sibling is unable to make it- you bet that Five would jump to wherever they are so that they won’t miss their weekly slumber party. He’ll just jump them back in the morning if they had a meeting or something important to go to- he prefers them all to be complete under one roof so that he can make sure that they’re all safe.

So-

What is the new normal for the Hargreeves Siblings?

Well- therefore I conclude, that the Hargreeves Siblings turned from a chaotically stressful and dysfunctional family into a chaotically and stressfully loving and somewhat functional family.

And that, is their new normal.

#tua #tua x reader #the umbrella academy #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #vanya hargreeves

[dadsbongos]

Hargreeves Kids in Order of Their Problems (and do i have a problem?)

No secret that the Hargreeves children are all fucked up, but as I was re-watching I was like damn - what if we ranked them? So here we go, I’m ranking all the Hargreeves’ spawn by their pain; taking into account their trauma with and without Reginald (mostly for Five/Klaus) and how bad it messed them up. I’ll be sticking mostly to the first season because that’s where a lot of the meat is, but I might include a tiny peek into season two.

Also, I will be directly addressing the frequent question I ask myself “Am I attracted to trauma when it comes to characters?” by looking at my favorites and if they’re all deeply scarred.

S Tier Pain - Five Hargreeves:

Not only was he forced to endure Reginald’s abusive training regime (at least until the haha moment), but he also got stuck in the future after a miscalculated time jump. You’d think that’d be bad enough, what with no longer being able to see your family, but no. Well, technically he did see them when he found their dead bodies but that’s just more to Five’s suffering. He also got jammed into a post-Apocalyptic life where he was the sole survivor and had to live all on his own (though he had Dolores, which is a whole can of sad, loneliness worms we don’t have time for). Then to make matters worse he was taken into the Commission where he was turned into as assassin for years, to which he quit early to save his family from the Apocalypse. After the first one - yes, the first - and arriving in the 60s, Five got to see a glimpse of his siblings dying to the second one. All he ever does is for his family’s survival, even if it means his misery. In season one (and two) he makes a deal with the Handler, who he can’t stand, just to

maybe

 ensure she’ll protect his loved ones from the end of the world. He willingly works with a woman he hates and likely doesn’t trust so his family would be safe. And who could forget that redheaded lady in the bowling alley, like gosh, she really ruined his life by assuming his age like that... poor guy.

A Tier Pain - Klaus Hargreeves:

Unlike Five, he got to stick around for the entirety of Reggie’s cuck ways of abusing his kids physically/emotionally/mentally. From a young age (if that episode two lunch scene is anything), Klaus has been using drugs as a way to cope with his family life and his power. His addiction has led to a rather sad life, as evident from the first episode and some of his own dialogue - he’s not used to staying in one place, if anything his visits to rehab centers are the longest homes he really has. He’s not expected to stay sober long by the counter employee, indicating he’s been there before multiple times. When talking to Five outside of the prosthetic department, he outright admits he hasn’t been with someone for longer than about two weeks. He’s never shown to even hold down a job unless you count supplying local pawn shops - or, you know, the army. He served in war, straight up war, he likely has PTSD and to make things better, note the sarcasm, he lost his boyfriend in that war. Dave, the one person he’s described as loving more than he does himself. Klaus is constantly brushed under the rug as this crazy, attention-seeking junkie for most of season one by his family, but he’s more likely just calling for the help he clearly needs. Speaking of his family, I just wanna throw in that Klaus was kidnapped and tortured and not one person seemed to notice or even care.

B Tier Pain - Vanya Hargreeves:

Neglected by her adoptive father and siblings her entire life, Vanya was left out of the loop of even her own powers until she discovered them fucking decades later. She wrote a book trying to air out her father’s awful deeds and rather than finding solidarity with their shared agony at least a little, her siblings pushed her even further away. Quick mention, during the argument on whether or not to turn off Grace, she was immediately shut down on an opinion until she was shown to agree with Diego. Her vote didn’t matter until she sided with another sibling. Vanya grew up so starved for attention and love that when she got into her first relationship with Leonard (that bitchy murderer) she mistook it for a real love. Stayed with an abusive, gaslighting killer against all her sister’s warnings. She was betrayed by her own brother (fuck Luther, me and the homies hate Luther) after coming home, sobbing and pleading forgiveness, just wanting to help into being locked back in that vault Reginald used to keep her in. Vanya snapped, felt there was no other outlet and truly there possibly wasn’t for her, and ended the world. She was in so much pain, so angry with her life and how it was ruined by her own family that she blew up the moon. And honestly? I’m not even mad at her for it.

C Tier Pain - Diego Hargreeves:

Dude found his ex-girlfriend’s - and probably his potential love interest’s - corpse. He’s aching inside at least a bit. His spot as Number Two fueled a deep need to prove himself, whether he admits it or not, it’s why he’s a vigilante. Diego functions off of stopping crime and it’s only different from his childhood because he does it alone. He feels the need to validate what he went through, as if his suffering needs to be explained in some way. Speaking of childhoods, who gives them to us? Moms. Grace is his robo-Mom with no real sentience (well, before Cha-Cha and Hazel raided the place anyway, reboot Grace has some weird independence complex going on). She read to him, put him to bed, and fed his Mama’s Boy fixation - even going as far as to help Diego with his stutter. He put her down, in the robot sense. Diego was the first person to speak against shutting Grace down and yet he did so himself - knowing it’s what had to happen.

D Tier Pain - Ben Hargreeves:

He’s dead, so I’m not sure what he’s gone through other than having “The Horror” in his stomach and Reginald as a dad. So there’s not much to say about his trauma other than having to sit through watching people die horribly by his power’s hand. But again, he’s dead, and dying is one of the most traumatic things I can think of. That’s why he’s higher than the others but still lower than the previous four Hargreeves’ kids.

E Tier Pain - Allison Hargreeves:

She’s known as a “Daddy’s Girl” how that’s possible with Reginald, I’m not sure, but she is. Not to excuse any of the torment she got as a child or give the abuse a pass, at all. It’s just an inference that as Number Three and someone who easily got what she wanted with her power, she probably didn’t feel out-casted like Vanya. Nor was she left to survive on her own and then kill to live like Five. Allison, in all fairness, was viciously attacked by her sister after revealing she “Rumored” her memory away. Unlike Ben, she survived and went on to be the peaceful one of the family and her power didn’t directly kill, especially in ways that “The Horror” did. So I must rank her pain lower with a sad bob in my throat, nervous that all the Allison lovers will scream at/cancel me for putting her at E.

F Tier Pain - Luther Hargreeves:

Fuck Luther, me and the homies hate Luther. This little fuck found something out of proving himself to his father. So far up his dad’s ass that he was cool with being a monkey space boy for years until he realized Reginald didn’t give a shit about him. And honestly? Same. No but really, he did become a monkey man purely out of Reginald’s need for a hero to do what he said - and Luther couldn’t fill that if he was dead. I do recognize that his life was essentially wasted by his years spent on the moon, blindly following Dad’s orders but to be honest, he’s too in the background. He had nothing other than his father and therefore lost nothing other than his family, it’s hard to feel bad when you know he had no intention of doing anything other than be by Reginald. No plans unlike Klaus who had his life decimated by his drugs dependency or fuck, Five! Five had absolutely no life other than living through the Apocalypse for decades. Overall, I hate Luther but even though I can’t stand his gorilla guts, I do recognize that he has trauma.

~~~Do I Have A Problem?~~~ Considering that Five and Klaus are my favorite characters and they are the most traumatized? Yes, I am unnecessarily in love with characters in pain. I didn’t want to be a mannequin before I knew about Five, and now I crave to morph into Dolores (or at least combine with her like a Power Ranger)

#the umbrella academy #tua #number five #five hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #diego hargreeves #ben hargreeves #allison hargreeves #luther hargreeves #five the umbrella academy #klaus the umbrella academy #vanya the umbrella academy #diego the umbrella academy #ben the umbrella academy #allison the umbrella academy #anti luther hargreeves #fuck monky space boy

[multifandom-ramblings]

The Psychic (Part 3)

A/N: Hey guys! I apologize for the really long hiatus. The transition to college was rather tough. So without further delay, here is the next installment of “The Psychic”. 

Not long after the two of you parted, Allison decided it would be best to call a family meeting. You vehemently turned down the idea, having had enough excitement for the day. The anxiety that left was once again hitting you like a train. “They aren’t going to believe me Klaus. I mean, hey, what are the chances of me growing up in the same exact neighborhood as you?” You whispered, your eyes glued to the floor. The familiar tremors shook your whole body; your mind going elsewhere. 

The snapping sounds took a few minutes to reach your ears. Your attention switched to the sounds. Your gaze met an all too worried Klaus. “You gotta learn how to stay out of your head, trust me. I should know.” You scoff, almost under your breath.

  “Ah yes, trust the drug addict.” You lightly hit the taller man’s shoulder. Almost immediately regretting the joke as your anxiety took back over. “I-I’m sorry if that offended you at all. It was supposed to be a joke.” You broke eye contact. However, it was Klaus’s turn to laugh. Before he could respond, though, the conversation was cut short by the sound of steps. Presumably, Allison had finally gotten the group up. The two of you strained to hear their conversation. 

“You mean, you woke us up for Klaus’s friend? Why is that important enough for a family meeting?” A gruff voice stated. You bit your lip, debating on leaving before they even get out here.

  “It’s not like that, Diego, but it is for (Y/N) to explain.” Allison responded. One by one, the familiar faces made their way into the room. Except one of them appeared to be a child. You knew who he was by looks, but were so utterly confused as to how he was not as old as his siblings.

  “Alright, Klaus. Why the hell are they important enough to wake up the entire family?” Diego snapped. Klaus pushed you slightly into the center of the room, as a bit of an encouragement. 

“They’re like us.” Klaus responded. “Go on, explain.” Your chest becomes tight as their stares bore into your soul. They all rolled their eyes. Your anxiety making it nearly impossible to even speak. 

“I.. uh.. I was born on October 1st. I spent my life isolated from the world, even from my parents because of my abilities.” You slowly gain more confidence. Though, your explanation was cut short by Luther moving towards you. 

“Yeah, like we haven’t heard that before. Please leave.” He continued moving towards you. “Or we will be forced to make you leave.” You start backing up towards Klaus. 

“You haven’t even let her finish Luther!” Allison exclaims. 

“We’ve heard this story so much before. People just trying to get their claim to fame. Don’t tell me you actually buy this crap?” Diego counters. Luther reaches out to grab them. 

“No, Luther!” Alison and Klaus yell, but it was too late. They had already made contact. Your face had gone blank, your eyes slightly glowing. 

Darkness was all you could see. It stayed like that for a few seconds until a picture of a ceiling came into your mind. You hear screams. The sight pans to what seems to be some type of monkey body. You feel their panic enter your veins. Your mind, then, flashes to the earth from the view of the moon.

“What the hell is going on?” Luther exclaims, drawing his hand back. You finally are able to break from the trance. Your eyes glued to the floor once again, as you try to slow your breathing. 

“I’m sorry.” you whispered to no one other than Luther. His forehead creases in confusion, not knowing what you were apologizing for. “Allow me to explain fully please?” You met his eyes, almost pleading. He nods and steps back. “When Sir Hargreeves came to my family, they refused to give me up. They thought I was normal, because I hadn’t shown any signs. That changed when I was 7 though..” You explain the same story you told Allison. Their eyes never left your form. You paused slightly, “So if you can’t tell, I’m some type of psychic. My father told me it’s called psychometry. However, not in the normal sense. It typically has to do with touching objects, but whenever I have physical contact with another human I see glimpses of their past.”

“How do you control it?” The younger version of Five spoke. 

“I never really learned. My dad tried to teach some grounding techniques, but that only works after a few times of touching someone.” You shrugged.

“What does that mean?” Vanya asked. 

“The more I touch someone, the weaker the visions become until they are nonexistent. For example, the first time I touched Klaus I was fully immersed. Every sense came into contact with what he experienced. The next time though, the vision was a lot less detailed. I could only focus on the big things.” You slowly explained. 

“Do you do anything else?” Five questioned again, seemingly curious. 

“Not that I know of, but having been in isolation and my family having no clue what to do or how to train me, I would say it’s a possibility.” You smiled at the small boy, finally feeling comfortable around the group. 

“How did you and Klaus meet, anyway?” Diego finally spoke. You looked behind you to Klaus, silently asking for permission. He nods. 

“Well, actually, I found him passed out on the street and couldn’t tell if he was dead or alive. After he woke up, and saw me crying, he demanded an explanation. Then, forced me to come here.” You summed up, leaving out the bigger details. “Thank you for allowing me to explain, and thank you for bringing me here Klaus, but I really need to get going.” They nodded in response. 

“I’ll show you out, (Y/N).” Klaus smiled. As you walked out Luther caught your attention. 

“You're always welcome here, I promise.”

TAGLIST: @garbagejay​ @marvelmayo​ @daughterofhecateandhades @shondlenoodle @darkqueennox​ @midiocris @chewingoffmyfoot @rachelscosplay @help-i-need-a-social-life @panicatttckiss @wayward-lucifer @sweetpeabellamyblakedracomalfoy @breakthru-rhapsody 

#Umbrella Academy #The Umbrella Academy #umbrella academy x reader #klaus hargreeves #klaus hargreeves x reader #diego hargreeves #diego hargreeves x reader #luther hargreeves #luther hargreeves x reader #Allison Hargreeves #allison hargreeves x reader #vanya hargreeves #vanya hargreeves x reader #five hargreeves #five hargreeves x reader

[number5theboy]

ALRIGHT

THIS SEASON

IT WAS A LOT

my liveblogged thoughts under the cut

Episode 1

·         Exhilarating! I love Ben

·         Ben already has more lines in these first five minutes than he had in the first season

·         This montage is good

·         ALLISON BABY

·         Luther yelled for Diego first I love this

·         Diego is immediately in vigilante mode…….hot

·         THE SHOT PARELLING VANYA’S FIRST WORDS

·         Vanya is a mess we love to see it

·         The shot of Five’s feet hitting the puddle? So aesthetically pleasing

·         The battle scene is such a smart way of reintroducing everyone’s powers and their Final Form™ succinctly

·         I love Hazel. So much.

·         The Umbrella Atomic Explosion™ is SO clever I love it

·         ALRIGHT UNCHARTERED TERRITORY LET’S GOOOOOOOOOOO

·         Oh Hazel and Five make me soft

·         Agnes and Hazel had a good life

·         Hazel is so dead

·         Welp that took no time at all

·         “How many times did I say bulletproof briefcases?” ily mister five

·         I love the Swedes they’re stupid

·         Are we ever gonna know what Agnes made Hazel promise?

·         Five is honestly world’s best character

·         FUTURE HEADQUARTERS

·         “Well the truth is out there!” abkdkblhlkbkhl

·         I shouldn’t make quick judgments, but conspiracy nut guy is nice and I hope he doesn’t turn out evil, because I also through Harold was nice in the beginning

·         Diego got himself arrested already what an idiot

·         Asddjgflkflhfl Diego’s problems all put out

·         Okay, set-up for Diego’s character arc of self-actualisation we love to see it

·         Lila is awesome, but I hope they don’t make her crush on him excessively

·         Diego and Five is an underrated duo

·         THEY ARE SO BICKERY

·         Five is jut gonna murder him sometime along the way

·         I LOVE FIVE SO MUCH WHAT A LITTLE SHIT

·         Oof Vanya is so cute in that outfit

·         This scene perfectly encapsulates women having to listen to men

·         VANYA’S GOING TO MILFTOWN Y’ALL

·         I cannot tell white men apart, does Carl look like conspiracy nut guy or is it just me?

·         As usual, Ben and Klaus are bad at everything

·         “neither does your beard” icon Ben Hargreeves

·         I support Ben pummelling Klaus

·         I passionately hate the beard and love the coat

·         Why do all the white men look alike, I thought this poker dude was a Swede

·         I KNEW BEN WAS LYING

·         “Pick a better time to self-actualise!”

·         I still hate the beard, let’s see if it grows on me

·         Yusuf Gatewood………….hot

·         By far the hottest couple so far in TUA

·         Please tell me she’s not still hung up on Luther

·         Yes she is goddammit

·         The moon thing is cute though, I can appreciate that

·         Luther finally gets a well-soundtracked fight scene I love it

·         OI THAT WAS BRUTAL HOLY SHIT

·         Oh Luther is pulling a Five in feeling bad about his excessive violence

·         I already hate his boss

·         Raymond marry me pls

·         Allison marry me pls

·         OH MY GOD VANYA LAUGHED

·         Sissy and Vanya have excellent chemistry

·         Oh I see the deliberate parallel with Vanya, Umbrella Academy, you aren’t fooling me

·         SWEDISH ASSASSINS BABY

·         Do you think they’ll say a single word or?

·         Literally the only way this show knows how to signal danger is through flickering lights

·         Two bopping fight scene and Five hasn’t been in any of them

·         Lila and Diego have no braincells between them it’s beautiful

·         Alright, she knows how to fight……..supicious

·         If this show wasn’t so hellbent on making Luther and Allison a thing, he would be best ace rep

·         Lmao “I don’t give a shit” I love you Luther

 EPISODE TWO

·         ALRIGHT THE HANDLER IS BACK???????

·         Okay so Hazel and Cha-Cha are dead but that pestilence still runs around??? Bruuuuuuuuuh

·         Kate Walsh is still hot though

·         AJ??????

·         THE FISH SMOKES?!?

·         God the Commission is such a capitalist hellhole

·         Oh there we have 743

·         H E R B

·         Okay I am here to see her humiliated but please no redemption arc for her

·         I love the deliberate parallels between Five and the Handler

·         “Like a masseuse?” IDIOTS

·         Oh Five is so lost and vulnerable baby boy

·         Also the character developments in Luther!!!!!

·         “Dad should’ve left him on the moon.” Five is, simply said, an icon

·         Oof Sissy is SO cute

·         I’m already not ready for Five to find Vanya

·         Lila is so extra can we keep her

·         Great now I have sympathy for Carl

·         Luther’s new outfit looks so good on him

·         OH LUTHER IS THE FIRST ONE TO SEE HER

·         Well that was dramatic and didn’t lead anywhere

·         Alright two episodes in, Civil Rights plotline hasn’t been fucked up yet

·         WHAT THE FUCK IS THE SWEDE DRINKING SO CONSCPICOUSLY

·         ELLIOTT IS THE NAME OF MISTER CONSPIRACY

·         “cousins on my robot mother’s side”

·         “Imagine Batman, then aim lower.”

·         Lila is great I love her

·         Diego is gonna throw both Five and Lila through a wall at some point

·         Five is so ready to throw Diego under the bus

·         Klaus Hargreeves, world’s worst cult leader

·         ……….did Klaus built a cult on pop lyrics?

·         Klaus and Raymond bonding I love it

·         DIEGO AND FIVE BEST TEAM

·         REGINALD IS THE UMBRELLA MAN

·         OH LUTHER IS GONNA FIND HER HOLY SHIT

·         THE BARN FROM THE PROMO PICTURE

·         This scene is so good

·         “You shouldn’t be the one to apologise.” I’M GONNA CRY

·         Tom Hopper and Ellen Page are so good in this scene

·         WHY DID HE LEAVE

·         What the flying fuck is up with the Swedes

·         BRO WHAT THE FUCK

·         Is Five ever gonna bring up the fact that he was supposed to kill Kennedy or?

·         Raymond is wasted on someone who doesn’t give him her whole heart

·         What the FUCK, Klaus

·         Why does she remember her name tho

·         The violin starting up when she talks about the callouses on Vanya’s hands

·         Brotherly bonding is my new favourite scene

·         Do the filmmakers know that your scene can be suspenseful and well-lit

·         Okay maybe baby Pogo is cute

·         There is gonna be no Five murdering spree, the blood is solely from Pogo

·         Next well-soundtracked fight scene

·         The choreography of this!!!!!

·         Man Reginald is a shitty dad before he even becomes a dad

·         Diego cannot catch a break poor baby

 EPISODE 3

·         SHITTY WIG ON KLAUS ALERT

·         THE LEVITATION IS BEN I HATE THIS

·         So far, all title card umbrellas have not disappointed

·         You are running in a straight line you really should hit her

·         Yep, Watchmen flashbacks

·         Luther remains cute and awkward

·         THEY ARE TALKING TO EACH OTHER BABY

·         S E Q U I N S

·         SNEAKY LADY ALLISON IS BACK

·         FINALLY

·         A HUG  

·         Allison and Klaus are so cute

·         What in the goddamn Looney Tunes is this outfit lady

·         WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU LADY

·         ALLISON HARGREEVES YOU QUEEN

·         This spooky ghost show is great

·         Everyone going off on Five is great

·         @ this show stop ripping Vanya and Five apart and let them be soft

·         Diego is so naked this entire season

·         Diego and Lila are a good dynamic

·         Elliott is a babe I love him

·         The Handler continues to be creepy about Five

·         So much driving

·         Luther is baby and Raymond deserves better than to deal with all the baggage from all the Hargreeves brothers

·         HE SHAVED THE BEARD

·         Ouch this is awkward

·         I don’t get why they didn’t cast normal Dave to play young Dave they’re not that far apart in age

·         Oh he’s gonna have to let Dave go

·         Oh this scene must be so triggering

·         Oh shit’s bad and it’s only episode 3

·         PUPPY???

·         WE WERE RIGHT ABOUT LILA

·         WHAT DO YOU MEAN THANKS MOM

 EPISODE 4

·         Oh my god the Handler is pure fucking evil

·         She learnt the fighting from her mom alright

·         THE RED BOOTS WERE THERE ALL ALONG

·         Man I hoped that the antisemitism was gone

·         Vanya being protective of Luther :’)

·         Luther only has shitty father figures

·         I can’t believe they were better organised last season

·         Why do you hate the Vanya/Five dynamic so much, show?

·         Five got an extra dose of asshole today this season huh

·         Reggie is probably the twelfth

·         Oh boy Klaus is a trainwreck

·         That marriage is also a trainwreck

·         I understand Ray though

·         Why is there Styx on this soundtrack

·         Oh Klaus baby

·         GALA NIGHT BITCHES

·         Five is a smart young old man

·         Oh baby is eating his heart out

·         Oh the hug makes me soft though

·         Honestly, Tom Hopper and Emmy Raver Lampman have such cute chemistry

·         AWKWARD DARLING MAN

·         “Doomsday” *nervous chuckle*

·         Ballroom lessons as kids

·         This is an excellent dance scene

·         OH MY GOD MOM WAS MADE AFTER A REAL WOMAN

·         THIS SHOW MAN THIS SHOW

·         Reggie is gross

·         Diego’s mommy AND daddy issues are put on blast this season

·         Sissy is such a babe

·         Man we got budget BUDGET for this season

·         Alright, the white violin can revive people now cool cool cool

·         How different her powers are when powered by love

·         I love Elliott I hope he survives the eason

·         I am down for Luther and Elliott getting high together

·         LET’S GO LESBIIIAAAAAAAAAANS

·         God Allison and Klaus make me so soft

·         I am very supportive of Elliott and Luther becoming bros

·         You already shanked one son, go poker stick another one

·         YES EXCELLENT FIGHT MUSIC

·         They both?????? Just left him to fend for himself??????????

·         Ancient Greek??? Bitch what

·         This show is rated for violence and we have barely seen any!!!!!! What!!!!!!!

 Episode 5

·         Okay baby Pogo and Grace is adorable

·         Why is Pogo in space now

·         THEY KILLED POGO

·         AGAIN

·         Hargeeves got a hug before Five did what the effing fuck

·         He might be a dick but his instincts are good

·         Haha old cowboy

·         Ben is so done

·         Vanya……..Sissy……..my heart

·         Wow Reginald continues to be a massive arse

·         Luther/Diego/Five are DUMB and I love them

·         “No, bro, he shanked your heart.”

·         God the Handler!!!!!!

·         THE MUSIC AT THE REUNION

·         We didn’t even see Five reunite with Allison and Klaus!!!!!

·         GOD WHAT A SISTERLY UPGRADE

·         KLAUS VANYA AND ALLISON HUGGING

·         Allison and Diego rights babey!!!

·         Are the Swedes ever gonna say something or

·         LILA AND FIVE TEAM-UP LET’S GO

·         I’VE MISSED YOU ALL SO MUCH I’M GONNA CRY BABY

·         The red-blue dynamic in Luther and Diego I live for that

·         Luther and Diego are gooooooood together

·         What is up with that

·         Klaus, Vanya and Allison are dumbasses and I love them so much

·         Alright where are the Swedes doing and why is that tree so creepy

·         Oh the youngest Swede just went tits-up

·         Please tell me Five is finally getting a fight scene

·         Excellent fight scene

·         Great, now I feel sad for the Swedes

·         They deffo have a cooler aesthetic than Hazel and Cha-Cha

·         This cover is beautiful

 EPISODE 6

·         This wig looks better than Klaus’

·         Also Ben has barely been in this season where is he at

·         Oof Ray is so cute

·         The Handler and Five have such good chemistry holy shit

·         Diego, Luther and Vanya are a god-tier dynamic

·         We love the CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

·         BENNY BOY HAS A CRUSH

·         Wait how is this only episode six I feel like this is already the pensum of the first season

·         Clothing montage baby!!!!!

·         God they look so good together

·         Oh Allison can be RUTHLESS

·         THE BINGO CARDS

·         Oh no no no no I didn’t think Klaus and Dave could be even more tragic

·         THEY TALK

·         God she is so fucking creepy stop lusting after a child

·         World’s most satisfying elevator shot

·         This scene is chaos I love it

·         God everyone just harps on Diego’s daddy issues jesus

·         Oh baby no

·         Oh babies no

·         NO NOT THE DISSOLUTION OF TEAM ZERO

·         Why are there so many antisemitic dogwhistles in this

·         This scene between Five and Reginald is good

·         NOT ELLIOTT

·         Oh no no no no Carl

·         Alright at least this promises a good fight scene

 EPISODE 7

·         This polka music bops

·         Wait how did he get to 1982

·         HE SAID FUCK

·         Man Carmichael was out so quick

·         No fish-eating?

·         Awwwww Klaus and Ben have a heart to heart

·         Oh God, Diego and Luther have no brain activity between the two of them

·         That is a Look

·         Oh this montage of Ben rediscovering touch

·         The writing of this show was oddly prophetic

·         Oh wait Vanya’s gonna be incarcerated too right????

·         Oh this is heart-breaking

·         Really?????? Ben’s the dorky one???

·         Oh my god Ben is getting a hug and Diego is so soft

·         Man why are Five and Vanya so antagonistic

·         FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

·         Dude a fight between them would have been so epic

·         Diego

·         You idiot

·         Oh Allison really loves him and he loves her

·         Oh I am so sad

·         Yeah this episode is infinitely worse than the day that wasn’t

·         FUCK YEAH BACKSTREET BOYS

·         What the fuck

·         Yo that is sadistic as fuck Allison what the flying fuck

·         This scene might ruin the song for me

·         There definitely was an easier way out

·         They fucked it up

·         I am not surprised

 EPISODE 8

·         Oh she speaks Russian

·         Five just snapped and honestly deserves it

·         Yeah I feel for the Swede

·         What is it with commission assassins and axes this season

·         “Your vagina needs fresh glasses.”

·         Nepotism

·         Oh Grace is turning on him baby!!

·         Ha remember when we were all like ‘oh no they’re making Reggie sympathetic’

·         Yeah so much for that

·         Five and Luther are……..soft

·         What the fuck is up with that

·         AYYYY BUTTHOLE SURFERS ON THE SOUNDTRACK

·         Oooooohhhhhhh trippy kid scene

·         Also Reggie is bad at German

·         I love Luther and Five so much

·         We finally get to see older Five’s tie pattern

·         Alright Lila makes me uncomfortable

·         FIVE IS GONNA GO FERAL Y’ALL LET’S GO

·         Man after the last rampage you’d think they’d upped security in this place

·         Herb for president!!

·         Some catch Diego’s ego is going berserk

·         Oh not again

·         Dot is a rebel now

·         Everyone is ragging on Five, even Five

·         This is so trippy

·         Oh yeah the brains. Forgot about those.

·         I……….sad

·         Oh my god oh my god oh my god

·         Of course it’s all the government’s fault

·         Love how they just walked into an FBI building

·         Bro what the fuck is going on

EPISODE 9

·         Allison is always there for Vanya and I love her

·         Hello Klaus and Diego are so cute

·         Oh my heart you go Klaus

·         So much for that

·         BUT BEN

·         YOU ARE CLIFF-HANGERING BE INSIDE AN EPISODE

·         Crazy Five is an idiot I love him

·         “I’m the daddy here” is not the gazelle, but it’ll do in a pinch

·         The 743!!!!!!

·         Oh God, Harlan is in danger

·         She loves him?!? You barely know the man!!!!!!

·         WHAT’S ON THE PAPER

·         Oh it’s her file

·         HELLO LET US SEE THE FIVES TYING TO OFF EACH OTHER

·         This continues to be trippy

·         These visuals are so stunning

·         This is my favourite scene so far, this is so good, this is an excellent talk

·         NO

·         NOT BEN

·         NOT BEN

·         “I’m askin’, Carl.” You go Sissy, love you, you’re doing excellent

·         Alright, we have a mini-Vanya here

·         Oh I hate the Handler so fucking much she is the worst

·         What a plot-twist

·         Oh god so much is going on in this season

·         Oh we get fish-eating, but it’s not Five? That’s lame

·         Why are they all so hell-bent on making stupid decisions

·         Klaus you idiot

·         Oh that SON OF A BITCH HARGREEVES

·         What the fuck what is on the dark side of the moon

·         What the flying fuck what the fuck what tebdjbdgkbjdsgkbjgsdjgnj

·         WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE GOING TO WAR

 EPISODE 10

·         Oh the kids are back for Ben’s funeral

·         I hate this

·         Reginald is just. The worst.

·         My emotions are all over the place

·         Oh……..babies

·         OH MY GOD DIEGO

·         AND FIVE

·         It wouldn’t hurt to go to an abandoned farm

·         God this is a family of shitty choices

·         I don’t want Ben to be gone

·         FAMILY TIME

·         Oh shit I totally forgot about the last Swede

·         BRO THE STAKES

·         YEAH THIS LOOKS BAD

·         ALRIGHT Harland is gonna be alright

·         All these assassins have shit aim

·         HE’S MATRIXING

·         LILA’S ONE OF THE 43

·         SHE CAN ABSORB AND REDIRECT THEIR ENERGIES

·         ONE OF THEM ONE OF THEM ONE OF THEM

·         Awwwwww they love each other

·         Oh great THEY’RE DEAD AGAIN

·         Oh now LILA will have to fix the timeline

·         Wait now they’re all dead

·         The swede to the rescue?

·         Please tell me she’s dead for good this time

·         We love a de facto protagonist saving everyone’s asses once more

·         GO VANYA SAVE THE BABY

·         Dot and Herb are precious dumbasses

·         This is heart-breaking, but I understand Sissy so much

·         WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS CLIFFHANGER

#tua spoilers #not that you'd understand much if you don't watch the episodes #personal #come yell at me in my inbox please

[angst-fairygodmother]

On Her Father’s Wings (The Umbrella Academy S2 Fic)

CHAPTER 2: FATHERS

What if there was one more thing left in Five’s care at Hazel’s untimely passing? Something more precious than a briefcase, more useful than a tape, and infinitely more infuriating. A smart-mouthed girl determined to pick up where her father left off and help save the world, whether the Hargreeves like it or not.

Word Count: 5230 Rating: T for canon-typical violence, swearing

Warning: this chapter contains major spoilers for both S2:E2 (The Frankel Footage) and plot twists later in the season. Read at your own risk.

Cross-posted to AO3: here Previous Chapter: New Sidekick

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“So that went well…” Piper drawled, leaning back against her elbows on the edge of the bar.

Five startled, causing her to snicker.

“How did you get in here?” he asked, sounding less surprised or impressed than she’d hoped and not even bothering to look up from his drink.

“Fun fact, they’ll let anybody in when you’re dressed like a cigarette girl,” she said wryly. “So what are you going to do now? Besides mope into a whiskey?”

I don’t know,” he admitted with a sigh. “I’ve struck out with both siblings I’ve been able to find.”

“So far. But you all landed in the same place, and Elliot said they all went back to the alley looking for the rest of you, so odds are these two aren’t the only ones that stuck around Dallas. Just have to keep looking.”

“And what if I say no?”

“Then I’ll kick your scrawny ass and do it myself.”

He looked up at her finally, surprised by her determination, only to quickly look away again, blushing from her sequined and very revealing outfit.

“Do you want me to stick around, keep an eye on this brother and see if he leads us to the rest?” she asked, tilting her head to one side.

“No need. He said he thought we were all dead.”

“Cheerful. Could he be lying? I mean he wasn’t exactly thrilled to see you from where I was standing. Maybe he thinks he’s protecting them?”

“Protecting them? From me?”

She shrugged. “Anything’s possible. I mean you are a time-travelling assassin. And I don’t know what family Christmases are like at your house.”

Five sighed in exasperation. “Stay if you want. I’m going back to Elliot’s. He’s still, unfortunately, my best lead.”

He continued to sip his drink. She rolled her eyes, not liking the feeling of being dismissed. Still, she decided, she may as well spy on his brother and Jack Ruby while she had the opportunity.

Just as she was about to walk away, Five finished his drink, muttering about how their father should have left Luther on the moon as they both watched the larger man “escort out” a drunk. Then he stood, the pocket of his jacket catching on the back of the chair and tearing away to reveal a bulky yellow box. He took it out, staring at it, puzzled.

“Do you know what this is?” he asked her almost absently, voice sounding like his mind was far away.

“No idea,” she answered, eyes fixed on the label, on handwriting as familiar to her as her own. “It was in your pocket. Why would I know about it?”

“I think Hazel put it there. When he saw those goons get off the bus.”

“Well, it’s probably important then. You should go figure out what it is. I’m going to stick around here and see if I can’t find out a little more about your brother problem.”

Five frowned, glaring as she turned the tables, dismissing him for once, but she was already walking away, a cheerful smile plastered on her face as she held out her cigarette tray in question to one of the other club patrons.

Not long afterward, Piper watched as Luther exited through a back door, and followed, keeping far enough back that he wouldn’t notice, or at least she hoped not. He seemed to freeze, staring as he watched a mystery woman climbed into a car near the payphone out front. Piper couldn’t see his face, but she didn’t really need to to recognize the shock written across his entire body. The woman stared back for just a moment, confusion on her expression evident.

“Vanya,” she heard Luther whisper as the woman shut the car door and drove away.

Luther turned, watching her go, and Piper caught a glimpse of his distress before she ducked back inside to avoid getting caught tailing him. Back inside, she leaned against the wall, biting the nail of her thumb as she debated sticking around to see what other events unfolded for the night and reporting back to Five that she had at least some idea of where another sibling was.

Her decision was made for her though, when an unnervingly large arm pressed across her, pinning her to the wall by her shoulders.

“Who the hell are you?” Luther asked, face mere inches from hers and twisted into a scowl.

“Relax, there’s no need for violence here,” she said, trying to placate him.

“Why are you following me?”

“I’m not. I mean I was. Sort of. I mean it was more general surveillance than ‘following.’ Although it did…also involve following…”

“Shut up and answer my questions.”

“Um, which of those would you like me to do? Because I can’t simultaneously shut up and…speak, which I need to do to answer your questions.” She tilted her head questioningly to one side and put on her most charming smile.

He pressed his arm harder across her collarbones, shaking her, the pressure making it momentarily harder to breathe until she adjusted to it.

“Quit playing games. Who. Are. You?”

“My name is Piper Rofa. I’m with your brother, Five. A fact that he’s not super thrilled with because of his whole grouchy loner thing, but I’m not about to let that stop me. I stayed behind to keep an eye on you in case there was more you knew or something, even though he’s willing to write you off as a lost cause. Because I’m not about to let the world end based on the fact that your asshole family can’t get their shit together.”

His hold on her slackened, though the arm was still large enough that even slight pressure kept her in place. “I don’t know anything. Until Five showed up, I thought everyone was dead.”

“So that wasn’t your sister in the car?”

“It…was. But tonight was the first time I’d seen her since…”

“Since she blew up the moon and tried to kill you all? Or was that the other sister?”

“No…that was Vanya. How do you know so much about us?”

“It’s a long story. One I’ll happily tell to all of you once you’re rounded up in the same room but I really don’t want to have to keep going over.”

“I’m done with that life.” By now he had released her completely, but she remained rooted in that spot anyway.

“But they’re still your family. Don’t you want to see them?”

“Are they?” his voice was soft, pained. “All I’ve ever done is push them away and hurt them. It’s better for everyone if I just…don’t go back.”

“Bullshit. Family’s hard, but also family’s family. Whatever you’ve fucked up, they still love you. Or at least, the one I’ve met does. You should have seen his face…”

He stared at her, mouth open in shock, face twisted in uncertainty. “How…how many of them are together right now?”

“None. But we can make it at least three, possibly four if you give me that address, and you come with me back to our makeshift base of operations. We still haven’t found Allison or Klaus?” she hesitated, unsure she had the names right. “And the other brother is locked up in an asylum which Five for some reason decided not to spring him from, but that’s…fixable.”

“I’m not going to give you this address. I don’t even know if Vanya actually lives there, but if she does…I don’t know you, no matter what you claim. And I need to talk to her first. Alone.”

Piper rolled her eyes. “Fine, suit yourself. Just, when you’re done, both of you should come to Morty’s Television and Radio.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“I guess that’s all I can ask,” she shrugged. “Now unless you’re planning any other secret sibling reunions or interesting events, I should probably be off.”

She gave him a wink and wave as she sauntered away.

~

“I can’t tail a car on foot!” she shouted in frustration as Five raged. “And what else was I supposed to do? Fight your brother for the wallet? He could snap me in half like a toothpick!”

“You incompetent…useless…” his face was rapidly reddening. “What is the point of you if you can’t even do a simple task?”

“Hey!” she glared, folding her arms over her chest. “At least we can confirm that she’s still in Dallas. And that she’s either a very good actress or didn’t recognize your brother. Neither of which we’d have without me sticking around, which you called a waste of time. Besides, Luther all but said he was going after her, so we can tail him there.”

“Don’t bother. Let’s just focus on this tape from your father and hope it’s more helpful than you are.”

She bit back the first retort that came to mind, sticking her tongue out petulantly. “Do you have the magic power of film development now too?”

His jaw flexed as he gritted his teeth angrily. “No. I don’t have the power to develop the film. But I’m sure I will find someone who can.”

“Some stranger? When there could be signs, clues, or references to the apocalypse? Great plan. Definitely won’t lead to panic or getting arrested as a terrorist or anything. Especially if you drag them out of bed to do it.”

He sighed angrily. “What would you suggest then?”

“Wait until morning, see where these came from,” she gestured to the photos around the loft. “Until then, do some more research through all this junk to see if we can find where the last two siblings are?”

She watched him struggle with himself, not wanting to admit that she was right.

“Now pass me that box,” she gestured to a large cardboard box overflowing with sheets of paper and newspaper clippings, clearly things that Elliot thought were important but hadn’t gotten around to sorting into his desk or “conspiracy wall.”

~

Hours later, Elliot shuffled out of his bedroom, setting up a pot of coffee before noticing that the two time-travelers were there, each wrapped in their own heads and oblivious to the world.

“Do…do you like eggs?” he asked them, stammering out an offer for breakfast, cutting through their thoughts. “Or cereal?”

Piper looked up, smiling politely as she accepted and Five waved him off, muttering about “just needing coffee.”

As the girl and Elliot ate, Five looked around again, eyes falling to focus on some of the strange images on the walls.

“Elliot, did you develop these photos yourself?” he asked, leaning in to look closer at one of them.

“Of course. Can’t exactly drop that stuff off at the neighborhood Fotomat,” Elliot stood, walking across the partition with his bowl of cereal. “Government has eyes everywhere.”

Piper rolled her eyes, half listening as they discussed the lack of darkroom and Five asked him to develop the footage her father had slipped him.

As Elliot began listing supplies and excuses for why they were difficult to get, she rose, moving to lean in the doorway, arms folded.

“Elliot,” Five said, face taught with frustration.

“It’s like five, maybe six hours.”

“Would it go any faster with a sweet ride?” she asked, spinning her keychain, complete with neon orange rabbit’s foot, around on her finger.

Elliot’s eyes lit up at the prospect and Five became distracted by the call over the radio.

“The hell is a code 3-15?”

“Fugitives on the run,” Piper and Elliot said at the same time, glancing at each other in surprise before focusing back in on the rest of the call.

“Oh, Diego,” Five sighed, pressing his lips together and turning his eyes toward the ceiling as if to ask God ‘why?’

“Who’s Diego?” Elliot asked and Piper gave him a puzzled look.

Hadn’t they talked about it the day before, when he’d shown Five the mugshot? Or was the at least 30 hour day starting to mess with her memory? She shook it off, surreptitiously pinching the flesh of her own upper arm, the quick, sharp pain waking her up some.

“Imagine Batman, then aim lower,” Five explained before turning away from the radio.

She snorted at the description, which just about matched up to what her father had told her.

“You get started on that film,” he told Elliot. “We’ll be back as soon as we can.”

“Actually, it’s probably faster for you to go alone,” she pointed out with a shrug. “I mean you can just pop to him and sort things out without…awkward introductions or sidetracking. Plus, I can get the supplies, help Elliot here; we’ll know what’s on that tape a lot sooner.”

Five hesitated. She flashed him a reassuring smile.

“I promise,” she said. “We’ll play nice. I mean, I can only hope the feeling’s mutual but I like Elliot, and this is something actually useful I can do. Now go teleport after your crazy-escapee brother.” She waved her hands in a shooing motion and Five rolled his eyes, heading for the door.

“Alright, Elliot,” she said, turning back to the man and planting her hands on her hips in an exaggerated, almost-superhero pose. “Hope you’ve got a shopping list and some cash because I have neither. But I’ll drive.”

~

Several hours later, she sighed, brushing hair out of her face as she bent to the task Elliot had given her, focused intently as they neared the finish line. Suddenly, something heavy clumsily smashed into the side of her head and she staggered away from it, dropping her tools and turning, shifting instinctively into a defensive stance to face her attacker.

“Elliot?! What the hell are you doing?” she shouted, watching the nervous little man drop the lamp he had swung moments earlier.

“I saw the footage!” he shouted. “I know what you are!”

Her head throbbed from the blow.

“What are you talking about?” she asked, frowning. “What exactly did you see?”

“I saw enough! And I won’t let you get away with it!”

She sighed, uncoiling her fists and trying to be as nonthreatening as possible. Holding up her hands, palms flat and facing him, she locked eyes with Elliot.

“Calm down Elliot, please,” she said, voice trembling almost imperceptibly. “I don’t know what you think is going on, but I promise there’s an explanation.”

“I’m not going to let you warp my mind!” he shouted. “You’re some sort of demon or alien or…or Russian spy!”

“What?”

Rather than responding, Elliot charged at her and swung a wild haymaker, so unexpected (and surprisingly quick) that it caught her off-guard. Striking on the same side he had already hit her, it drove her to her knees, vision swimming. The last thing she noticed as the world fell away were hands on her wrists and her only thought was that she had failed.

~

When Piper woke up next, she was somewhere completely dark. She could feel that her wrists and ankles had been bound together, trapping her in a hunched over position. Luckily, her captor (Elliot she suspected) made the mistake of putting the ropes in front of her, and probably didn’t know about her training in escape artistry. Gritting her jaw against the waves of pain and nausea that her movements triggered, she set to work, among other things discovering that she was in the darkroom closet.

Outside, she could hear shouting, and then, worryingly, the blast of a gunshot. Elliot wouldn’t actually shoot Five…she hoped. Though she also didn’t expect him to knock her out cold and tie her up, so maybe she didn’t know the nutter as well as she thought. And even if he wouldn’t really shoot Five, she couldn’t say the same in reverse if Elliot threatened him.

Finally, she felt the ropes go slack and stood.

“Where is she Elliot?” she heard Five ask through gritted teeth.

Her hand stilled momentarily on the doorknob, curious to hear where this would go.

“The one you left here to kill me when I found out the truth?” she heard Elliot snap. “I took care of her. Bet you weren’t expecting that.”

She rolled her eyes. So dramatic.

“I swear, if you hurt her…”

“Who are you talking about Five?” she heard another voice ask. “Is Allison here? …or Vanya?”

So that must be Diego then. Before things could go any further, she decided to make her grand entrance.

“Christ,” she said loudly as strode casually out of the converted closet, shaking the remaining ropes off her wrist. “That was uncalled for.”

Elliot stared. Diego and the mysterious woman with him stared. Five pointedly avoided looking at her, but she thought she might have caught a flash of relief cross his face.

“Seriously,” she smiled at Elliot who she now noticed was pinned down by the one she assumed was Diego. “That was an impressive punch from such a wimpy-looking guy,” her face fell into disappointment and she held out the rope, “but it was super unnecessary.”

“He managed to take you out with one punch?” Five asked, tone somewhere between mockery and incredulity.

“I mean, there was the element of surprise. And I think a lamp?”

“I had to do it! You people are dangerous! I know!” Elliot shouted, trying and failing to struggle as the strange woman tied his legs together.

Piper rolled her eyes. “You don’t know shit, Conspiracy Brain. Which would have been obvious if you let me explain instead of giving me a migraine. Now you had better have aspirin somewhere or I am going to be very annoyed.”

“Who the hell is this girl Five?” his brother asked.

“I like her,” the woman chimed in, earning her a glare from both Hargreeves and a smirk from Piper.

“My name is Piper Rofa, it’s really nice to meet you,” she called as she rooted through the bathroom medicine cabinet. “Do you want to explain the rest, Old Timer, or shall I?”

“Rofa…why does that name sound familiar?” Diego muttered.

Piper caught sight of Lila’s eyes, narrowed and studying her shrewdly. Something about her calculating look put the younger girl’s nerves on edge and she looked back with the same faux-casual inspection.

“Let’s just watch the film, see what’s got Elliot all worked up, and we can do introductions later,” Five said, brushing aside Diego’s curiosity.

They tied Elliot more securely, to one of the dental chairs he had inexplicably laying around. Lila dug out an old bottle of sickly green nail polish and began doing her fingernails and the captive man’s toes. Piper couldn’t help but chuckle from where she sat with her boots resting up on the corner of the kitchen table; the other woman was really doing a bang-up job of playing the loon.

They all sat in silence as the tape began. And then, realizing what it was, Diego leaned forward with a new intensity of focus.

‘He really is obsessed with JFK,’ she found herself thinking. ‘Professional interest or crush?’

“How do you have this?” Diego asked his brother.

“Hazel died to get me this footage,” Five explained, eyes flickering to his brother, and then to Piper who tried to hide her distress behind a blank mask, before turning back to the projector screen. “It must be the key to stopping doomsday.”

“It had better be,” Piper muttered.

“Hazel?” Diego said with an accusatory frown.

Piper stiffened, swinging her legs down to the floor. She did not want to deal with a confrontation right now when her headache was finally going away, but she wasn’t going to stand for anyone disparaging her father’s memory either.

“Long story,” Five said dismissively, still focused ahead of him.

“What’s doomsday?” Lila asked, looking pathetically up at Five from her seat.

“Longer story.”

“What exactly did he say to you?” Piper’s eyes flickered to Five’s face, equally curious for his answer as his brother was.

“Well he was killed before he could explain. But whatever he wanted us to see, it’s on this film.”

Her teeth found the middle knuckle of her thumb, biting down on it gently while she wracked her brain for something her father might have told her that could help, feeling useless. How could she claim to have known him, to be his protégé or fill his shoes if she didn’t even know what he died for?

Four sets of eyes flickered determinedly over the screen as chaos unfolded, only Lila looking away, confusion and fear on her face as she instead watched the watchers. Suddenly, Five muttered something under his breath and moved to rewind the tape, shifting the projector around to change the focus. Whatever he saw, Diego noticed the second time around, hesitantly unfolding himself from the countertop, mouth hanging open as he approached the screen in shock to get a better look. Elliot meanwhile, was thrashing about and struggling in his chair as if he still thought he could get away. It was distracting, and for a brief moment, Piper considered the lamp and returning the favor just to get him to calm down.

“This can’t be,” Five said, his focus fixed.

“Okay are you going to fill me in now?” Lila snapped. “What the hell is this shit we’re watching?”

“No that’s impossible,” Diego’s statement might have been a denial but his face seemed to say that whatever the realization the two Hargreeves had come to, it was as plain as the hair on their heads now.

“Clearly it’s not.” At least Five had the decency to sound awed at the new information.

Information Piper still didn’t understand.

“What…what is it?” Elliot asked from around the makeshift gag in his mouth.

The two remained transfixed on the grainy image in the center of the room.

“I gotta say I’m with Lila and Elliot on this one. You two might recognize the mystery blur, but the rest of the team’s,” she gestured around, “in the dark.”

“Dad…” they both said softly.

“Oh shit.”

To call what followed a discussion would have been giving far too much credit to the participants, and vastly underplaying the childishness of their sniping at each other.

“No, you’re jumping to conclusions,” Five said, pacing back and forth.

“What the hell else is he doing standing on the grassy knoll, holding an open black umbrella, on a sunny day, in Dallas, the exact same moment the president gets shot?” Diego shouted, gesticulating wildly at the screen.

“It doesn’t look good, I admit,” Five snapped back.

“I mean your father clearly had a thing for umbrellas, given the academy, tattoos, etc. so that could be nothing,” Piper drawled, inspecting her nails as the brothers went around and around in circles, physically and metaphorically. “Or it’s for shade, and maybe he’s there to watch or meet the president, like everyone else in Dallas? He’s not a supervillain, right?”

“You think it’s a coincidence? No. He’s the signalman for the whole goddamn thing.” Diego turned to face her, eyes ablaze. “And what would you know anyway? Who the hell are you?”

“I told you. Piper Rofa. I’m…a friend.”

“Bullshit.” From seemingly nowhere, he had drawn a knife, pointing it at her threateningly. “I saw your face while we were watching the footage. You know something.”

“I wish I did! I wish I could answer your questions or villain monologue or whatever it is you’re looking for. But I don’t know jack, except that the world is ending. It might be connected to Kennedy, it might not.” She shrugged, slapping her hands back down to her sides. “My father is dead, and he told me that The Umbrella Academy were the best chance at saving the world. So get your stupid knife out of my face, and figure it the hell out.”

“Who…?” Diego looked momentarily taken aback. “Who’s your father? How does he know about us?”

“Piper, don’t,” Five cautioned. “Now is not a good time to be bringing that up.”

She sighed, turning away from both of them and folding her arms around herself. “Hazel,” she admitted softly, almost apologetically.

She thought she heard Lila gasp and frowned at that, but there wasn’t time to address it as Diego seized her shoulder and slammed her into the nearby doorframe.

“Your father killed my…friend,” he hissed through clenched teeth, knife pressed to her throat and face in hers.

She rolled her eyes, undaunted. “Oh cry me river. Good people die all the time. Besides, that’s in the past…or the future? And I’m not him. Nor will killing me do anything, other than make a mess of this lovely apartment and delay what’s important. So can we focus back on your dad, who you apparently think is just as bad or worse than mine?”

He growled, pressing the blade harder into her neck, enough that she felt a thin trickle of blood, clearly not taking kindly to her opinion on the matter.

“Easy Diego,” Five interrupted, placing a hand on his brother’s arm and drawing him away.

Piper rubbed at her neck and shoulder where the majority of Diego’s weight had been, adding them to her growing catalogue of bruises to expect.

“Seriously,” Five sighed in exasperation.

“No, it makes sense,” Diego insisted, shifting instantly back to the topic of Reginald Hargreeves and JFK as if there had been no interruption at all. “This is what Hazel was obviously trying to tell you.”

His eyes flickered over to Piper and she shrugged. Lila stood up, offering to help her with the wound and hesitantly she accepted, both women leaving the brothers to argue.

“We have to stop dad from killing the president,” Diego declared dramatically.

Piper rolled her eyes and caught Lila doing the same. She frowned. There was something about this woman…something that set her teeth on edge but felt very familiar.

“Do I know you?” she asked.

“No. I don’t think we’ve met,” Lila answered with a smile that seemed to waver uncertainly. “But I can tell we’re gonna be good friends.”

Piper bit her lip, wanting to say more when Five’s voice cut through again.

“Dad’s clearly in Dallas, right? Let’s just go talk to him. Maybe he can help us fix the timeline.”

“That sounds like a terrible idea,” Piper muttered, brushing aside the rest of Lila’s first aid to return to the main room in case she had to referee between them.

“Dallas is a big place,” Diego pointed out. “We need to find him first.”

“Gee, if only we had some magical, old-timey way of finding people and their addresses.”

Piper tossed the October 1963 phone book at Five, “Or should I pull another fast one on the 911 operator?”

He dropped in on the table. “Let’s start simple, his name.”

Before he could, Diego had already opened the book and bent over it, scanning for ‘Hargreeves’ with increasing frustration. When they didn’t find it, Five suggested looking for his company instead.

“D.S. Umbrella Manufacturing Co.”

“Yeah, I know the name,” Diego shot his brother a look.

“Seriously, more umbrellas? I think it’s time to consider it was a fetish,” Piper joked, drawing a laugh from Lila and a disgusted shudder from Diego.

When they found what they were looking for, the two almost immediately turned to go, rolling up the screen and heading for the front stairs down into the showroom.

“He okay to leave here like that?” Diego asked quietly.

“Yeah, he’s fine. What about the girl?” Five answered.

Both men looked behind them to find Elliot, still tied and gagged, and Piper flipping aimlessly through a magazine, once again leaning back in a chair and resting her feet on the table, making it all to obvious  that she was eavesdropping. There was no sign of Lila.

“Shit,” Diego muttered, turning back.

Five sighed. Piper pointed over her shoulder to the darkroom closet Lila had scurried off to as soon as their backs were turned. He sat down across from her while Diego went to check on the other girl.

“Are you coming with us?” he asked, eyebrow raised.

“No. I think I’m going to stay here. We still need to find the rest of your family as fast as possible, and I have a few ideas. Plus something’s not quite sitting right with me that I want to follow up on. And I don’t think your brother likes me much.”

Five chuckled. “Diego doesn’t like many people.”

“He likes Lila a hell of a lot. You sure that’s not going to be a problem?”

“No, I’m not. But it’s one we can deal with later.”

She sighed, fidgeting with her hands on the table. “You wanna take my car?”

His expression softened, understanding the gesture of trust it was meant to be.

“No, I don’t want to draw attention.”

She raised an eyebrow.

“It’s a very flashy car, Piper.” The tone of his voice sounded almost like a scolding father, or like her mother’s not-quite-disapproval when she’d cut the picture out of a magazine and pinned it to her corkboard at fifteen. It made her smile sadly, rubbing at the sting of loss she hadn’t let herself feel completely yet.

Diego emerged from the cupboard, Lila following behind a few moments later.

“You three play nice now,” Five said, faux-sternly. Diego turned to him, surprised, but his face was blank, showing no sign that he might have just made a joke. “We’ll be back soon.”

~

Piper waited until Five and Diego had been gone for some time, and until Lila had finished painting Elliot’s nails, in case things went south – it would be rude to leave him with only two thirds of a mani-pedi after all.

“We need to talk,” she said sternly, setting aside the article she had been reading and sitting up to face the other woman, arms folded across her chest.

“About what?” Lila’s tone was the epitome of innocence and Piper found herself impressed. She was one hell of an actress.

“You’re Commission right?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Lila frowned in confusion.

Piper scoffed. “Oh please. My father was a Field Agent til he met Mom and settled down. But you knew that.” She cocked her head to one side in question, inviting Lila to deny it again. “He taught me how to spot another agent, in case they ever decided to use us to force him into un-retirement or something.”

Lila tensed, body movements subtle but still there, noticeable to a trained eye like Piper’s as she got ready to attack.

“You can relax,” Piper sighed, waving a hand in the air dismissively. “You don’t get in my way, I won’t get in yours. Or rat you out.”

“And what if our missions are incompatible?” Lila’s eyebrow quirked, finally dropping her ‘scared little crazy girl’ act completely.

“Still no reason to bring extra parties in. If it comes to that, we settle things the old fashion way, and may the best woman win.”

The two women locked eyes, sizing each other up, baiting each other. The air practically crackled with electricity. Elliot, still bound and gagged and distinctly uncomfortable, tried to mumble something as his eyes flicked frantically from one to the other. Surprisingly, Lila broke the stare first.

“Yeah sure, I’ll agree to that, at least for now.”

“Excellent,” Piper smiled wryly. “Like you said, I can tell we’re gonna be good friends.”

#On Her Father's Wings #The Story of Hazel and Agnes's daughter #The Umbrella Acadmey fic #TUA season 2 spoilers #The Umbrella Academy season 2 spoilers #season 2 canon-alteration fic #I feel like it's been 84 years since I published the first chapter #but I finally finished this one #purely platonic Hargreeves/OC relationships #also: it should be obvious by now but (despite me not being a car buff or really having any knowledge) loving her car is a personality trait

[itsthenovelteafactor]

Fall of the House of Hargreeves

So I mentioned a while back in my Superhero Gothic meta that there were a number of parallels between the season one finale of The Umbrella Academy and the Edgar Allen Poe short story The Fall of the House of Usher and that I could probably write a whole meta on that if anyone was interested. Shout out and love to the anon who requested that I do that! 

It’s been a minute since I’ve done one of these long form metas, but I am very excited to get back to writing about two of my favorite things: gothic literature and chaotic superheroes. 

Part I: The Fall of the House of Usher

The Fall of the House of Usher (which I’ll call House of Usher for convenience for the rest of this meta) is a short story by Edgar Allen Poe first published in 1939. It is considered a classic gothic short story, and deals with themes of family, madness, inheritance, and isolation. 

Since it’s in the public domain, I’ll go ahead and link a pdf to the story here. If you aren’t interested in reading, though, or just want a refresher, the story follows an unnamed narrator going to visit his ill friend, a man named Roderick Usher in his isolated (and very spooky) family estate. Upon arrival, he discovers that Roderick’s sister, Madeline Usher, is also ill, and has a tendency to fall into dreamlike trances.

Over the course of the visit, Roderick confesses to the narrator that not only does he believe the house is alive, but that it is connected to the fate of the family which, at this point, only includes Roderick and Madeline. He later comes and tells the narrator that Madeline has died, and enlists his help in order to bury her in the family tomb beneath the house. They do so, but for the next couple of days Roderick is suspiciously...on edge. 

Then, one dark and stormy night, Roderick shows up in the narrator’s room incredibly worked up, and throws open the window, and starts low-key (read: high-key) having a breakdown. The narrator is unsure as to why until he hears ripping and tearing sounds coming from somewhere in the house. These ripping and tearing sounds are revealed to be Madeline whom Roderick and the narrator buried alive whose appearance scares Roderick to death, right before she collapses, also dead from the strain of tearing through the foundations of the house.

The narrator decides this would probably be a good time to leave and is very much right about that because as soon as he leaves, the house (which was already in pretty bad shape) splits in two and collapses into the lake surrounding it. The end.

Part II: Umbrella Academy as Gothic

So, there are probably a couple similarities between House of Usher and The Umbrella Academy season one that stand out right off the bat, but I’d like to start by taking a step back to talk about thematic parallels between the two works. If you’d like to read a very long winded explanation of why I consider The Umbrella Academy to be a modern gothic tale, I have a really long meta about it. 

If not, here’s a quick overview:

Gothic does not have a clearly defined set of requirements as a genre, but its purpose is to explore the contradictions and the failing edifices of convention in a way that is dramatic and often fantastic. 

Gothic fiction plays with reality, but usually in a way that is representative of the characters and story. 

It often situates itself during times of great change, as there is something haunting about the irreversible passage of time, particularly for those that struggle to acknowledge it and hide behind conventions that have grown increasingly irrelevant. 

Poe is considered one of the classic authors of gothic fiction (though the genre significantly predates him), and is decidedly one of the best well-known examples of it. 

The Umbrella Academy is a family drama about former child superheroes dealing with their trauma while trying to prevent an apocalypse that their every move seems to set further in motion. It explores the messy and complicated relationships between siblings who have been abused and pit against each other for years. And yeah, it’s fun with great music and talking gorillas and dance sequences, but the premise is kind of hard for me to read as anything other than gothic.

Part III: Parallels

Like House of Usher, the first season of Umbrella Academy takes place in a massive, largely empty mansion where siblings gather with disastrous consequences. Both works explore a family that is past their prime and disconnected from the present. They also both explore the psychological toll of isolation, the consequences of tyrannical family rules, and why it is a really bad idea to lock your unstable sister in a basement and just leave her there. 

Let’s start with some thematics parallels. Everyone in House of Usher is extremely isolated, and the absence of anything resembling the modern world amongst the house full of relics is part of the horror. All of the siblings in Umbrella Academy are defined by their isolation as well, physically (Luther, Five, and Ben), socially (Vanya, Diego, Klaus, and Allison), and emotionally (legit all of them). It is this isolation that drives the conflict of the story, feeding into every characters’ choices. 

In both House of Usher and Umbrella Academy, the main characters are trapped in this isolated state as a direct result of their familial legacy. In House of Usher, the titular house is a character itself, a manifestations of the obligations Madeline and Roderick hold as members of an aristocratic family that is so far divorced from wealth and status that it keeps them from ever fully moving on and rejoining the real world. In Umbrella Academy, the characters are similarly trapped by their familial legacy, this time in the form of the specter of their abusive father, and the roles he created for them. Like the Usher siblings, the Hargreeves have no way of maintaining the roles their family left out for them – they were never given the tools to function in the real world and it cripples them – but are trapped in them regardless. 

Part IV: The Woman* in White 

*As of the time I am writing this, nothing has been said regarding Vanya’s gender identity being written to match Elliot Page’s. I am using she/her pronouns for Vanya, as that is what has been used for the character thus far. 

Aside from thematic parallels, however, the most direct connection between the short story and series, and in fact the reason I was inspired to write this meta in the first place is the way both of the stories end: with a sister trapped beneath the house clawing her way out to face her brother(s and sister) and creating a disruption of the family legacy so great that the entire estate crumbles.

Madeline Usher is described at this point as wearing a white dress, strained with the injuries she sustained from physically breaking herself out of the basement tomb her brother buried her alive in. Vanya, of course, becomes at this moment the White Violin, and though she has not yet had the epic violin-music-so-powerful-it-changes-the-color-of-her-clothes scene, the principal still stands.

As characters, there are also a couple of noteworthy parallels between Vanya and Madeline. The narrator at one point describes “the illness of the lady Madeline had lone been beyond the help of her doctors. She seemed to care about nothing” (Poe, 27). The reader never knows what illness precisely is the cause of Madeline’s apparent madness, but we see the effects. It dulls her emotional responses to situations and leaves her withdrawn and powerless. Similarly, we learn over the course of the first season of The Umbrella Academy that the medication Reginald Hargreeves prescribed Vanya for her anxiety is actually a power suppressor for her abilities that has much the same effect – because they are strengthened by extreme emotion, the drugs numb Vanya’s emotional responses and deprive her of the ability to access her powers.

Additionally, the final scene of the story story shows Madeline escaping her tomb during a great storm and going to face her brother who put her there, the storm itself being a metaphor for her anguish that tears the house apart. Vanya’s connection to the destruction of the house is a bit more literal, but it is similarly a manifestation of her anguish and trauma. She sees flashbacks of her siblings being distant and rude to her in their childhoods and the anger she feels rips the foundation apart. 

It is not entirely clear in the short story why Roderick buries Madeline alive – there are a lot of theories: he genuinely believed she was dead, he wanted her out of the picture, he himself was succumbing to the madness of the house, etc – but the guilt he feels for doing so manifests as him hearing her scraping her way out for several days preceding her escape. The justification for Vanya’s imprisonment is more clear in text, but the series of flashbacks make it clear that it is not just the imprisonment that has driven her over the edge. It it guilt for her sister, anger at her abusive upbringing that is much more easily directed at her siblings than her father, the newfound emotions experienced by being off her medication for the first time since childhood, Leonard’s manipulations, etc. 

In both cases, amidst a spiral of emotions and experiences folding in on themselves, Vanya and Madeline experience a single, cold moment of clarity that drives them to escape, and it is that moment of clarity that breaks the shadow of the family legacy. They observe the situation as it stands and realize that it is completely unacceptable, and it is the realization that leads everything to crumble. Because gothic literature is focused on the complexities of maintaining that which is out of date, the realization that things must change can break the spell.

Part V: Conclusions 

As per usual, I have no great theories on why this is or what it means. One of the reasons I love gothic literature is that it is rife with meaning that can be more easily felt than deciphered. I welcome any and all interpretations, theories, (politely worded) disagreements, and comments. 

Thanks for taking the time to read; I have a lot of fun doing these. Enjoy spooky season, y’all. 💛

#The Umbrella Academy meta #TUA meta #The Umbrella Academy #TUA #The Fall of the House of Usher #House of Usher #Edgar Allen Poe #back here with the long metas on gothic literature and superhero tv #Vanya Hargreeves #Madeline Usher #happy spooky season y'all

[in-tua-deep]

Angsty au idea, five makes it back except he arrives dead and only Klaus and Ben can see him. (What happened to his body? Could be that his body got stuck between space time or he drops off as his thirteen year old sib and thats gonna traumatize the sibs probably) (Ig he could have also either died from wounds because the commision figured that he'd be turning and got strained from the time travel or an error in equations)

me, resurrecting myself over here

okay okay okay i’m going to take your idea and tweak it just a teeny tiny bit and produce:

Time travel isn’t viable.

Not the way five travels. Not without a conduit. Not when he’s essentially harnessing all of time, all of those endless possibilities, within the heart of a human being. It’s so much. It’s too much. Five died the moment he blinked away on that street outside of the Hargreeves mansion. 

But Five doesn’t know that. 

He doesn’t notice that no one gives him a second glance when he appears out of nowhere on those bustling streets. He just jumps again, because why not! He’s excited, he’s proving his father wrong, he’s liberated! And then.

And then.

He’s in the apocalypse.

He doesn’t notice that he can’t interact with anything until he touches his Luther’s corpse and his hand goes right through. And then, his first thought isn’t - I died. It’s - something went wrong with the last jump.

Which makes sense to him. He’s managed to get himself trapped on some kind of in-between plane. And that’s why his time travel powers aren’t working! Because they don’t work right on this plane! 

Five wanders the apocalypse, and it’s a little better than in canon because he doesn’t need to eat.

(Oh, he misses eating.)

He’s a smart boy. A brilliant boy. He’s thirteen, and he thinks he’s invincible. But his powers are jumping, and he can take himself apart molecule by molecule, and eventually eventually after years and years have passed he manages to solidify his hand enough to pick something up.

The first time he turns a page in a book feels like victory. 

He camps out in the destroyed remains of a library. Being solid enough to pick something up is... exhausting. He can’t do it for long periods of time. But he has a little stack of useful books, a little pile of chalk, the store mannequin he likes to talk to (he named her Dolores), and a blanket that has seen better days. He can’t exactly feel the ground when he curls up on it, and he can’t really sleep in this messed up pocket dimension or wherever he’s stuck, but he closes his eyes and pretends with all the power of the child he isn’t.

He’s in the apocalypse for a long time, trying to figure out a two-fold problem: how to get out of his pocket dimension and back into the ‘real world’ and also how to get back to his siblings when he does. He isn’t stupid. Time travel when he was capable of it was a crapshoot, he needs a way to get more exact.

And then the woman comes. Pristine and blond and carrying a suitcase. She frowns when she steps over the rubble in heels that click click click and frowns harder when she presses gloved fingers against Five’s equations written in chalk.

Five hides behind some rubble, but gets brave. Gets curious.

(Curiosity killed the cat.)

He comes out, he says “Hello?” and isn’t sure what he expected when she doesn’t even turn around. Five goes towards her with silent footsteps, footsteps that don’t disturb the dirt and chalk dust of the apocalypse because they don’t exist. 

He doesn’t know who she is, but he’s curious what’s in her suitcase, and waits patiently for her to open it. He’s also planning on following her back to whatever settlement she came from? He hadn’t thought there were any people alive, but clearly she is proving him wrong. 

So when she walks away, he puts his hand on her suitcase so that he doesn’t lose her, because even if she wouldn’t feel it putting his hand on her and watching it go through would be... demoralizing. 

And then she opens the suitcase, and suddenly they’re somewhere else. Except not somewhere else. Its bustling with people and the woman’s heels click loudly against the tile floor and someone walks right through Five and he trails after the woman because everyone seems to give her a wide berth and being walked through sucks. 

Someone addresses her. The Handler. That’s not - that’s not a people name, Five is pretty sure. That’s a title. But no one addresses the woman by name, so the Handler it is. 

Five doesn’t know how old he is, but he still looks thirteen. (He doesn’t feel any different, because he isn’t. His growth is permanently stunted, he will always have died at thirteen-years-one-month-and-nine-days-old.)

So he lives at the Commission headquarters for a few years, invisible and a tiny bit mischievous. He can travel through the walls if he wants, so no door is locked to him. He makes himself a little den in one of the vents where he gets a small collection of office supplies that he steals from the assholes as punishment. He doesn’t do anything major. 

He finds out what the commission does. He tags along with some assassins on occasion. He once distracted Cha-Cha by shoving a glass off a counter and breaking it to try and give a child witness time to flee.

(Hazel found her in the closet, terrified and silent with huge glassy brown eyes. He lifted a finger to his lips and quietly closed the closet door. He yelled “Clear!” to Cha-Cha, and then he and cha-cha and Five all left. Five looks at Hazel differently, after that.)

(Hazel has a soft spot for kids and bird-watching diner owners. This is important.)

Five scribbles equations on the walls of the vents. He gets more data every time he travels with the agents so he starts traveling with them a lot, even though he hates it, even though he sees so much death and destruction and he can’t stop it. He helps, sometimes. As much as he can. It’s not enough.

Five finds something, one day, when he’s wandering around. He finds a picture of Vanya, framed. He recognizes her immediately, from the back of Vanya’s book that he found in the apocalypse. They have lots of pictures of famous people around the commission, and lots of pictures of ordinary people. All of them significant in some way to the ‘preservation of the timeline’.

He goes to the Handler’s office, and among her many souvenirs he finds a cracked violin, and he remembers the background music that made up his entire childhood. 

(He steals the violin and puts it in his vent nook. He flips it over and traces the tiny V that’s shallowly carved shyly into the bottom, the same one Vanya has been putting on every violin she’s ever had since she was seven-years-old, after Diego and Luther broke hers and tried to claim that it was just a random violin, not her violin and it wasn’t their fault she didn’t take care of her possessions -)

(Why is Vanya’s violin in the Handler’s collection of weapons?)

Five is aware of something. He thinks the commission has something to do with the apocalypse. They protect the timeline of whatever, right? And yet the apocalypse happened. Which means it must be planned. 

Five has been trained to fight ‘villains’ since he was tiny, and he recognizes a villain when he looks at the Handler’s shiny smile and too long nails. 

Vanya has to have something to do with it. Do the commission kidnap her? Do they kill her? She’s important, somehow.

(Maybe before he traveled he would have doubted that. Vanya was ordinary. Why would she be important? But Five has tagged along on so many missions where they killed perfectly ordinary people in order to spark a chain of events. In fact, it’s almost always ordinary people.)

Five solves one of his equations on a regular, ordinary day. It’s the time travel one. Not the one about his... unfortunate circumstances.

So Five finds a nice empty room, and he gives it a try. He’s not expecting much, since the pocket dimension bullshit fucks up his time travel anyway (though he can still spatial jump curiously enough) except - it works. He splits the world apart, and it’s hard. Way harder than he remembers it being. 

He chalks that up to the whole pocket dimension effect.

He pushes and pushes and then - something breaks. Like ice shattering for a spring thaw, and he’s through. He’s on the ground, winded. He looks up and - it’s them. His siblings. Older than he remembers, clearly the equation wasn’t exactly right, but they’re here and they’re alive and Five can feel himself tearing up and he lets it happen because none of them can see him anyway and - 

“Five?” 

Two voices, overlapping. Five’s head snaps over, eyes wide with shock and alarm and - 

It’s Klaus and Ben. Both staring at him, equal alarm and shock in their eyes.

“You can see me?” Five demands loudly, patting at his body frantically. Is this it? Did he kill two birds with one stone? Did coming back undo whatever bullshit he put his body through - ?

“Klaus, why would you say that.” Allison scolds automatically, “That was in poor taste.”

Five looks at her, and her eyes scan straight over him, in the way that’s been familiar for - for - 

(Five didn’t bother to keep track of the years. Not when he was unaffected by time, by seasons, by weather. What was the point?)

Five’s eyes snap back to Klaus’s, who hasn’t taken his eyes away. It’s weird, Five thinks absently. His skin crawls under the attention, not used to it.

(Isn’t that strange, in a boy who used to demand attention with every breath he took? Isn’t that odd?)

There’s a hand on his arm and Five just about jumps out of his skin, whirling around and flailing and - oh look, that’s Ben on the ground, looking absolutely shocked. Five is also shocked, because he hasn’t been touched in - in forever. 

“Ben?” Five half-asks, voice smaller than he’d like with a tremble that he kind of wants to kick in the gut. 

“Five.” Ben responds, kind of sounding like he’s been punched in the chest. Actually he might have been, Five was never very gentle when it came to removing his limbs from others grasps.

“Well!” Klaus says loudly, making Five and Ben look over. “If the crisis is over, and we’ve lost a perfectly good fire extinguisher to the void, i’m going back inside!”

Klaus gives Ben a significant look as he turns on his heel and marches back in, and Ben winces. “Come on,” He whispers to Five, getting up and brushing himself off. “It’s better to talk when no one else is around.”

Ben hesitates, and Five hasn’t spoken to anyone but himself in a very long time. It’s been even longer since - well. And Ben looks so lost all of a sudden, that it’s really for Ben’s benefit when Five takes Ben’s hand in his own and tugs him in the direction of the mansion, “Well get a move on.”

Ben looks like he’s about to cry, looking at their joined grip, but nods and leads Five into the building. He gives Five’s hand a squeeze, as though making sure he’s real, and Five allows it gracefully.

Finally, they’re tucked into Klaus’s bedroom, Klaus sprawled across the bed and staring at Five like he’s something entirely alien.

“I don’t understand.” Five says, because the silence is getting awkward. “How come you guys can see me, but the others can’t?”

And Five is very confused when Ben’s face just - crumples. He looks like he’s about to cry. And Klaus, the contrary bastard, starts laughing, just a tiny bit hysterically.

“Take a guess shortstack.” Klaus wheezes out, “What’s my power?”

It’s seeing the dead, of course. But Five isn’t dead he’s just - in between. Right?

Besides, there’s a glaring flaw in Klaus’s theory.

“Uh, Ben can see me.” Five points out, lifting his and Ben’s conjoined hands where Ben’s grip is actually getting a little bit painful.

But isn’t a good kind of pain. Five hasn’t felt pain in - equally long. 

Klaus’s laughter cuts off and Ben makes a noise like a squeaky toy that’s been stepped on. “Yeah,” Klaus says, uncharacteristically serious, “Well. You missed a lot, kiddo.”

“Ben’s not dead.” Five protests, because he’s not. Five can see him. He’s right there, and he’s never had Klaus’s powers. He turns to Ben and - 

Ben envelops him in a hug, a tight one. The kind that Five would never have allowed unless absolutely necessary before he’s left, but now just sort of - melts into. It’s the pressure of it, honestly. Ben’s a good hugger.

“Five I’m so sorry.” Ben whispers, pressing his face against Five’s hair. It tickles a little, where Ben breathes out. “I’m so, so sorry.”

He pulls back, and brushes trembling fingers against Five’s hair. “Five, Five. Haven’t you - haven’t you wondered why you can’t - Five. You’re still - it’s been so long and you’ve been alone and - ” Ben breaks into sniffles.

“I’m just stuck.” Five says blankly, trying his best to process, “I’m just - I jumped wrong, and I got - I got stuck in between. I’m not - I’m not dead.”

“You’re deader than a doornail, kiddo.” Klaus interjects loudly.

Five, never one to take that lying down, untangles himself from Ben just enough to pick up a knicknack and hurls it at Klaus’s head with a scowl. “I’m not a kid.”

Except now they’re both staring at Five again, even as Klaus presses a hand against his forehead where Five had whalloped him (his aim was a good as ever, clearly).

“How -” Ben stutters, staring between Klaus and Five with alarm.

Klaus sputters as well, “What the fuck! How did you do that!”

“Well you see, Klaus.” Five says, voice toxic with the sweetness he exuded, “When someone leans down, and picks something up, they can exert a force on it. This force interacts with other forces to form the trajectory of an object - ”

“Not that!” Klaus sputters, “You picked something up!”

“Yeah, that happens sometimes.” Five says dryly.

Ben prods him in the side, making Five look over (up, if we’re being technical. Grown-up Ben is... kind of tall, actually. Compared to Five.) “How did you do that?”

And Five isn’t dead. He isn’t. But - he remembers the early days. How terrifying they were. How he couldn’t interact with the world around him at all. And if Ben is going through the same thing - “It... it took me a while to figure out. Um. It’s - it’s kind of hard to explain? Because like, when I jump it’s - it’s kind of like taking myself apart and then putting myself together somewhere else. And it’s like, like taking that feeling, except instead of putting yourself together somewhere else you like, layer it over yourself as you are? Like, making yourself denser somehow, I dunno.”

“If you can do it, then I can, too.” Ben says ferociously, a determined glint in his eyes. “I’ll finally be able to throw things at Klaus when he’s being an idiot.”

“Hey!” Klaus protests, looking very offended.

This is all very nice, but Five did come here with a mission... so he tugs at Ben’s arm. “Ben, what’s the date?”

Ben shrugs, because why should the dead care about the date? He looks at Klaus. Klaus looks like a deer caught in headlights. 

“Um.” Then he brightens, “Right!” He grabs something from his pocket, it’s rectangular and flat. There were lots in the apocalypse, though Five has never figured out their functions. Except when Klaus clicks his, it lights up. 

“Uh, March 24th.” Klaus says, squinting at the screen.

“What year?” Five asks, leaning forward.

“2019.” Klaus says.

“Fuck,” Five says, with feeling. “A week.”

“What’s a week?” Ben asks warily as Five flails and untangles himself from his grasp to stand up and pace.

“You don’t understand.” Five says, turning to them both, “I haven’t just - just been traveling the world as a fucking ghost. I time traveled. It worked. But - the future - ”

“Five?” Ben asks, all concern and love and it’s painful.

“The world ends in seven days.” Five tells them both, voice cracking, “There’s nothing but - but rubble and ruin and - and - ”

He remembers their bodies, remembers them splayed out in the rubble. 

“You died.” Five told Klaus, “You all died. The whole world died. Everything was - ash everywhere. I was there for - for...”

“The courtyard scene.” Ben realizes, reaching out as something like comprehension dawns on his face. Five dances back a few steps, his breaths coming in funny little pants. “You came back from - the future?”

“Breath, Five.” Klaus advises, sounding a little bit worries himself.

“If I’m dead why do I need to breath?” Five snarls, and Klaus’s face drops and he curls in on himself a little looking pathetic. It’s enough for Five to toss out a mildly panicked “Sorry” because? That’s what you do right?

(Five hasn’t interacted with people who can talk back in decades and it shows.)

And Five tells them everything, in halting uncertain breaths. He winds up curled up on the bed with Ben’s arms around him, steady as a rock, while Klaus manages to somehow sit in the desk chair in a manner that makes Five a little uncertain that his brother possesses bones and ligaments. 

He tells them about the future, about finding their bodies, about learning to - to condense himself just enough to interact with the world. He tells them about the woman, about the suitcase, about following her. He tells them about the Commission, and how he’s sure they have something to do with it - the Handler had Vanya’s violin - 

By the time Five is finished talking, he’s exhausted. The sun has slipped below the horizon already, and he feels like dead weight in his brother’s arms. At some point, Ben had started running a hand through Five’s hair, and the repetitive motion is soothing.

“That’s - that’s a lot.” Klaus says, and something must have shocked him a little bit out of his goofy persona. 

“I just wanted to go home.” Five mumbles.

“You are home.” Ben tells him, squeezing him tightly, “And we’re going to make sure the apocalypse doesn’t happen. Right, Klaus?”

Klaus shuffles, awkwardly. “I mean. I’m not exactly uh, number one choice for team apocalypse you know?”

“Ben’s number one choice for team apocalypse.” Five points out, flopping his head against Ben’s arm. “You’re an okay second choice though, I guess.”

It makes Klaus bark out a laugh, and Five can feel Ben’s snicker through his chest.

“Vanya’s gotta be on the team.” Five mumbles, loud enough for them to hear. “She’s important. Gotta make sure, make sure no one uh, no one kills her or anything.”

Ben and Klaus exchange a look over his head that he doesn’t see.

“We’ll plan everything tomorrow.” Ben tells him gently, “In the morning, okay?”

“Mmkay.” Five agrees absently.

The dead don’t sleep, but they can get - tired. Being in the living world is exhausting, and Five closes his eyes and just. Ignores the world. Just for a little while. The dead don’t dream, but that’s okay, because Five’s dreams have never been anything approaching peaceful.

Five made it back. He might be a ghost, but he made it back. An impossible goal, and he accomplished it. After that, taking on the apocalypse will be a piece of cake. 

(And if Ben and Klaus think Five is going to give up on his idea to un-dead himself, they have another thing coming.)

#unviable au #tua au #Anonymous #far tua long #the umbrella academy #long post #five hargreeves #number five #klaus hargreeves #ben hargreeves #klaus ben five and vanya are going to make up team apocalypse #five might be a ghost #but he's also a poltergeist #and also thirteen #ben says 'i am your mother now' to five #to be fair to ben five is the only person he can touch and outright interact with #five CANNOT interact with people only objects #he isn't sure why #living people i mean #ben is a cuddler and five is touch starved and that's that #klaus thinks it's very very cute #but also tragic #also he keeps getting dragged into saving the world shenanigans #when he could be doing LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE #klaus might be a bit grumpy #ben is unsympathetic #five can and will throw things at klaus #vanya is just. very confused #but also happy because five is?? back? #the family bugged klaus about five's ghost for years

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

Important Young Avengers/Umbrella Academy Things

Loki and Five, brunch buddies

also bitchass little shits buddies, but don’t tell them that to their faces

Teddy is one of the few people in the world who can actually knock Luther out

Kate, warily eyeing Diego’s getup: you’re not like. ghostrider or something are you?

Klaus: no im the one with the ghosts

Klaus doing everyone’s eyeliner

America does NOT have a crush on Vanya!!! shut UP

the entire team does not have a crush on Allison like???? SHUT UP

Eli and Luther: we are the Leaders of our teams

Kate, Klaus, and Diego: pppfffhhtptttphtpth

Kate and Five bonding over coffee. she is the ONLY person who can make a decent goddamn cup, holy christ

He actually hates her before the coffee, he thinks she’s all sanctimonious and self righteous and ugh like most team leaders

Then he sees her fall out of a two story window and come up shooting and he thinks “oh okay. This I can work with.”

Five ~training~ everyone in combat skills so literally like a bunch of 30 year olds getting beaten up by a kid

and Five and Loki fight and it’s both hilariously cute and incredibly terrifying to watch these murderous children go at each other

Diego: so you’re like me?

Kate: nah i don’t have powers or anything it’s called a trickshot ok

Diego: WHAT DO YOU MEAN I JUST SAW YOU SHOOT THREE ARROWS AT THE SAME TIME AND THEY ALL HIT A DIFFERENT TARGET WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN WHA

Noh hanging out with Klaus when he’s having trouble staying sober

Allison calling Luther, Eli, and Teddy the Big Boys Brigade

(+ Big Girl!!! she says while smiling at Cassie, who melts)

Noh: THAT’S Sir Reginald???? That’s your DAD???? THAT MOTHERF–

(noh and sir reginald have crossed paths before. noh’s no stranger to sir reginald’s morally questionable methods)

Kate’s friendship with Wade and her encounter with the Ghost of Ben Franklin mean she’s got the most experience with actual ghosts on her team

also people talking to what appears to be thin air

so she’s a lot less weirded out by Klaus’ whole thing, AND she’s the first to really Get Ben’s whole deal

by which I mean, she’s the one who asks stuff like “hey is Ben here?” and “What does Ben think?” She’ll have Klaus point her in the right direction and just say hi to Ben directly, without going “Klaus, tell Ben I say hi” like the rest of her team does at the beginning

Klaus is half-irritated half-amused at Kate and Ben having conversations through him

unrelated, Ben has a HUGE crush on Kate, and that was before she started talking to him. he just thought she was scary and pretty and badass, and THEN she proved she was nice, too. Klaus canNOT handle this

Cassie growing herself so she’s as tall as Luther

Kang for SURE needs to be involved because Time Travel

Kang and Five worked together on and off over the years. 

they DESPISE each other

Everyone thinks Diego and Kate are going to start dating or something but in reality they spend half of their time being mean to each other and the other half being super platonic besties

they are GROSS about their platonic-bestiness. super huggy with each other when they’re drinking, Kate always brings Diego fluffy blankets and he always brings her new arrows and they sharpen weapons together and have aim competitions and they cuddle on movie night

Diego is CONVINCED Kate has powers and she just wishes he would let it go already????

Diego: do u want to go to a police station and irritate some cops

kate: are u KIDDING? that’s my fave hobby

Klaus is L.I.V.I.N.G. for their friendship

Tommy tries to flirt with Klaus all the time and…fails. A lot. really spectacularly. 

Allison’s powers don’t really work on Billy or Noh. 

Allison and Noh have a mind control-off which is weird mostly because it looks like a flirting session interrupted by bouts of acting like a chicken or reciting Hamlet monologues

Tommy and Five sort of bond over their powers? They aren’t the same but they’re related

Also Tommy gets roped into being Fake Parent for Shenanigans a lot. He’s a little less unpredictable than Klaus and easier to pay

Billy helps Vanya figure out how to control her powers...or Vanya helps Billy learn how to harness his powers...it’s unclear who is teaching who

Kate and Vanya as a string duo

like lbr they probably know each other from being musically gifted kids?

and Tommy and/or Kate and/or Noh definitely know Klaus--at least, they’ve seen him at clubs

Tommy and Diego sleep together and it’s comically bad because they realized halfway through they weren’t being physically passionate or whatever, they were fighting over who got to bottom (be the bottom? what’s the correct way to say this)

Kate: Five come with me immediately

Five: I think not

Kate: but there’s a dog

Five:….I’m getting my coat

You’d THINK America and Five would bond over similar powers but Five says he thinks America has ostentatious presentation and gets a bloody nose for his insolence

Five pretending America is his mom just to screw with her in public

they can’t stand one another. when America gets frustrated she just lifts Five over her head until he stops being an asshole

“I am SIXTY YEARS OLD, show me some goddamn respect!” Five shouts at her as concerned families watch this happening in a park

Not sure if this is dimension hopping YA or if they’re all in the same universe

But I kinda like the idea that they were…mentored by a DIFFERENT eccentric billionaire who was MORTAL ENEMIES with Reginald Hargreeves

its Tony Stark

He doesn’t BUY the exceptional children, a lot of them still have loving families, but at various points they all lived under the same roof

And in THAT version, Peter Parker and Miles Morales are both as-needed parts of the team

#young avengers #the umbrella academy #kate bishop #america chavez #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #allison hargreeves #tommy shepherd #diego hargreeves #my stuff #cassie lang #vanya hargreeves #eli bradley #noh varr #billy kaplan #etc etc i'm tired of tagging #the millennial mess au

[momoyomaki]

Could Five realistically be autistic based solely on what we see on the show?

I stumbled across the theory that Five is autistic, and as someone with autism I find that very interesting. I’m not yet convinced he does have autism, but I’m not convinced he doesn’t either.

So let’s take this apart. :cracks knuckles:

First off, a couple things to keep in mind:

-No two autistic people are exactly the same.

-I am drawing on my own experience living with autism, and what I’ve witnessed from my sister and the kids I work with.

-Disabilities that affect the brain overlap. Many different things can affect the same areas of the brain, and we just categorize things for ease of assigning coping mechanisms. For example, if you were to take a brain scan of my brother who has PTSD, my sister who has brain damage from childhood trauma, and myself with autism, the scans would look very similar.

-Whether or not Five has autism, he most definitely has PTSD.

-Please chime in with your own theories and experiences, I’d love to open this TED talk up.

Ok here we go:

Klaus calls Five addicted to the apocalypse and he’s not wrong. Through an autistic lens, obsessing and hyper-fixating is like our bread and butter. My hyper-fixations have driven me to all sorts of extremes, like staying up for 24 hours, and giving myself heatstroke by hyper-fixating while outside. Whether Five is autistic or not he can obviously relate. His obsession with stopping the apocalypse drives him for 40+ years. He carries an eyeball around the entire time. His fixation on returning to his family keeps him going through his career as a hitman, something he makes clear he didn’t enjoy. On that note, he spent an episode walking around with a goddamn bullet wound. Talk about mind over matter, and also another tick in the hyper-fixation column. Again, when he checks on Klaus after he time travels to the Vietnam War, he’s clearly concerned for him, but gets sidetracked once again by his need to stop the apocalypse. Which is honestly valid, I mean, it’s the apocalypse.

Dolores. Anybody whose seen a decent therapist will probably have been told “yeah I know it sounds crazy, but try talking to yourself.” Being your own sounding board is a very healthy thing believe it or not, and Five uses Dolores for this purpose. Those with autism in my experience have crazy good imaginations. If I try hard enough I can fabricate fake memories to the point where I can’t quite remember it’s not true. I think this has a lot to do with the way autism thinks in pictures. Imaginary friend anyone? So Five finding Dolores and talking with her as if she were real for so long that he actually sees and hears her as a person? Totally believable and something I could see having happened to myself under the right circumstances. That being said, I feel he’s probably perfectly aware that she is, in fact, a mannequin. Dolores can be seen as a sign of Five having snapped or as a brilliant way of keeping his sanity while isolated for decades.

Coffee. Five’s caffeine addiction is probably not related to autism in anyway whatsoever, but boy can I relate. Coffee is my holy grail because it calms my personal blend of brain chemicals down enough for me to focus on things like driving. Of course that’s my ADHD talking. It’s not uncommon for those with autism to also have ADHD, but that’s a whole other post. So let’s just say Five’s relatable and leave it at that.

Sarcasm and Snark. Possibly the most common coping mechanism ever for any problem in existence. Probably just a part of Five’s glorious personality, but let’s say he developed it the way I did. As a way of taking on the world, sarcasm makes everything more bearable. It’s also a form of humor and nothing is as good as humor to cover social missteps. It takes you from being a weird outcast to being the Funny/Sarcastic Friend™️.

Five and routine. The first thing Five does when returning to the past is make his signature sandwich. Here he is, back with his family after all this time, and he doesn’t allow himself to bask in that, because the count down to the apocalypse has started. There’s no way he isn’t thrown off though, come on. 13 years old again with his family alive. When feeling shaken, most people with autism will absolutely fall back into routines even if they’re old ones. And who wants to bet he drove past at least one other perfectly serviceable shop with coffee on his way to Griddy’s and ignored them in favour of familiarity? And of course he works to get Dolores back right off the bat. When upset over the lab getting blown up he returns to what we can assume was home during the apocalypse; the library.

Five and his ability to take people at face value despite his overactive paranoia. From my experience working with those with autism, autistic people are some of the most forgiving people you will ever meet. This doesn’t have to come from a place of kindness. It’s more our black and white nature. Something used to be this way, and now it’s that way. We tend to just accept it where others might have a million questions. This goes hand in hand with our people sense. Oh we suck at reading social cues, but our instincts in regards to a persons trustworthiness are generally bang on. You see this in Five’s chat with Hazel. He doesn’t seem to have a problem buying what Hazel’s selling. Same with Klaus, who he acknowledges more then his other siblings even if it’s in a snarky manner. (He didn’t shoot Klaus down when he talked about conjuring their dad unlike Luther, and despite his angry reaction he took Klaus’ point about being addicted to the apocalypse seriously.) He gets angry when Vanya doesn’t believe him about the apocalypse but when it becomes clear that her disbelief is not malicious he doesn’t take it out on her. In contrast he doesn’t buy the Handler’s bullshit. To sum it up, Five is a practical people person, with good instincts but an outdated copy of Social Cues for Dummies. Is this autism or an effect of 40+ years alone? Both?

Five, the pragmatist. As the Handler says, Five is a first rate pragmatist which fits how a lot of those on the spectrum are very blunt, black and white thinkers. Where my family can debate politics for hours, my opinion is always the straightest path to whatever outcome I’m arguing for.

Five and clothes. Those on the spectrum tend to be hypersensitive, and clothing can be a Thing™️ for us. Certain materials feel like they're made of needles as opposed to just itchy, jeans are too tight, turtlenecks feel like a noose, etc. This is common, but sometimes it’s less about comfy sweatpants and more about familiarity. I have an undercut and if I don’t have time to get it shaved at the usual point, I get panicky. My hair feels slightly different, it looks slightly different, and it all just doesn't feel right. Five grew up wearing the academy uniform, and while he didn’t have the luxury of a suit and tie in the apocalypse, wearing a suit was clearly important to him during his time with the Commission. Even the Handler took notice, and gifted him a suit. And the second thing he does after making a sandwich in the past is find a suit that fits him. Ok, he didn’t have any options, but he didn’t have to wear the whole outfit. He could have mixed and matched. He could have stolen something from the department store. But no, he’s got to wear a suit jacket and tie. He even grabbed his tie off the guy he strangled at Griddy’s before he took care of the last dude. (Badass power move btw.) So I find it believable that the uniform was partially about appearances and partially about Five’s comfort zone, physically speaking.

(But wait, I hear you say, how can you throw in hypersensitivity when back up this post you claimed Five could have ignored his bullet wound via hyper-fixation? Here’s the thing, hyper-fixation basically mutes the notifications our bodies send us. We can be uncontrollably hypersensitive and still not clue into our bodies screaming at us while we fixate on something. But boy, we sure notice when we snap out of it.)

Five is all or nothing, ride or die. Oh boy is he ever. And most autistic people are too. We put our all into everything we do. Doesn’t always translate to doing it well, but we definitely give it our all. (In fact, we tend to over do things and need some serious recouping time after.) This can cover things already in the hyper-fixation section, like his obsession with the apocalypse. But going all in for something is different from the magnetic pull of hyper-fixation. It’s a conscious decision for one thing. The biggest example for Five is his commitment to his family. The Hargreeves are a dysfunctional family, and Five didn’t escape this by jumping to the future. He’s hardly the perfect brother but he’s the most invested in his siblings nonetheless. He became a killer for them, threw morals out the window for the slim chance he might be able to save them. And as is established pretty quickly, he put his all into being a hitman, becoming the best there ever was. That fight scene in the diner speaks for itself. And slicing up his own arm to get at the tracker? Well, it’s pretty clear that when Five commits to something he doesn’t mess around.

Five and math. Here we hit a stereotype about autistic people and their ‘special interests.’ Yeah, it’s really common, but what most people don’t know is that the majority of those on the spectrum are not math geniuses, or geniuses of any other kind. My sister’s ‘special interest’ is still relatively useful, being science, but she’s not a genius. Mine is ‘stories.’ Books, movies, theatre, music, etc. I can devour fiction forever. It’s basically useless to society though, because I’m picky af. But okay, Five fits the stereotype and is a math genius, or at least where it applies to time travel. We see this in the flashback already. Ok, time travelling didn’t work out as he’d hoped, but he managed it at 13 when even Reginald didn’t think he could. This makes me think that his tendency to spend hours working out equations didn’t start in the apocalypse.

Does Five stim? If so, we don’t really see it. That doesn’t rule out autism though, because, well, it’s a spectrum. I only stimmed as a toddler. Some people don’t stim at all.

Vanya. Another theory I’ve seen thrown around is that Vanya is autistic. I’m not going to address that here, but I do want to say that if she is, that wouldn't affect whether or not Five is autistic. Autism is not personality after all, and they are very different people. Again, autism is a spectrum and nobody displays all the same traits. If you’re thinking it would be unrealistic for Reginald. To have adopted two kids with autism, think again. That one autistic sister of mine? Adopted as a baby before we had any idea that she was a mini me.

Five doesn’t appear obviously autistic. What most people don’t realize is that autism is at the end of the day an invisible disability. Most people will know someone at some point on the spectrum and never even realize it. Because sure, sometimes you’ll see us rocking under the table or otherwise displaying what movies have stereotyped as autistic behaviour, but most of the time you won’t notice. We’re the slightly overly bright cashier at Walmart, the quiet bookworm at school, your favourite author that writes emotions so well, the person at comic con who can recite their favourite movie line for line, that kid that gets along best with those older or younger then them. If Five is autistic we may never know, because he’s perfectly functional, but that's hardly and argument against autism either.

And finally; people relate. Nobody knows autism better then those with autism themselves, so I’m inclined to take all the posts I’ve seen about Autistic!Five as a pretty big point on the autism column.

To summarize; none of these points taken alone indicate autism, but together well.... it’s an option at least.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk, I will now open the stage to audience input before this monster grows any longer.

#my asshole husband #five hargreeves #tua #umbrella academy #the umbrella academy #autistic!five #autistic!5 #number five #number 5 #five #the boy #netflix #autism #autistic #ua #the hargreeves #ted talk #fandom #musings #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #alison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #ben hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #autistic!vanya

[the-walnut]

The Umbrella Academy- Five

So, for no other reason than the fact that I just love to over-analyze shit:

*SPOILER ALERTS!!!!!!!*

We all know how dysfunctional the Hargreeves family is, and I know lots of people have been looking at the relationships the siblings all have with one another and are picking those apart, which is really cool. I love seeing all the theories that are popping up and the headcanons and whatnot- but one thing I want to see more of (which I know has been catching traction slowly) is Vanya and Five.

I’ve come across a couple people talking about this, but I want to expand on it a bit. In episode one, of course, we hear Vanya talk about how she used to leave the lights on and make Five snacks just in case he found his way home one night. And of course, adding to that, when Five does make it home, he talks to Vanya about her book and he’s not bitter. Unlike the rest of their siblings, who are all pissed about Vanya’s biography, Five tells her it’s well written, that he read the whole thing, and that it was a ballsy move, which is the best feedback we see her get throughout the entire season. It’s validating, even if it is in a snarky Five-ish way.

It’s been pointed out by a few people on here, but there are more scenarios than this. Vanya is the first person Five goes to after the Griddy’s Donuts attack and when he needs someone to listen, and Vanya, upon her power surge in the finale, goes through each of her siblings’ rooms, remembering times when they shunned her or let her down- all of them except Five. She doesn’t go near his room, and he’s the only sibling she doesn’t recall with anger, which is intriguing to me. And while one could argue that maybe it’s due to a genuine lack of memories including him due to his disappearance, which is fair, I find it interesting that Ben was part of that sequence as well.

When Five first decides to time travel and is arguing with Hargreeves, they make it very clear that Vanya doesn’t want him to push it, and he notices, but still leaves anyway. 

This is what I really wanted to get to.

The first people that Five yells for when he gets stuck in the future and finds the Academy in ruins are Vanya and Ben. Instead, he finds the bodies of his other siblings, all of them far older than he remembered them being.

And believe me, there’s no way he wouldn’t have known it was them. Five’s a genius, and even before he managed to jump back in time and find his family again, he would have known who they were. Combined with the fact that he knew what year it was, due to the newspaper (hence how old they all should have been), as well as the fact that they were all in the rubble of the Academy, matched the physical characteristics of each of his siblings, and, of course, sported that umbrella tattoo, he absolutely would have known. One other thing that he would have noticed immediately? That two bodies were missing. Particularly, the first two of his siblings that he thought to look for, because damn it, Ben is small and meek and doesn’t like using his powers, so how could he have handled this, defended himself against this kind of utter annihilation- but Vanya, Vanya is powerless. How could Vanya Hargreeves, Number Seven, the girl who “cried when they stepped on ants” and loved the violin, and had no powers have survived that amount of destruction?

She couldn’t have. 

So how long do you think he searched for bodies before realizing that he wasn’t going to find any? That maybe he could find four of his siblings because they’d gone down fighting right at the very end, but that the other two could have been buried under five feet of concrete and brick and memories, the first victims of a fight that had been too harsh for them to win?

Later, he finds Vanya’s biography and it’s like a punch to the gut because somehow, despite all his intelligence, he had never really thought of a time or place in which one of the siblings would be gone before the rest of them- that, in a way, because they’d all come into life at the same time, they’d all leave it that way as well. And yet, as he reads, he discovers that Ben, the brother he couldn’t find, wasn’t ever going to be found in that rubble pile, because Ben hadn’t lived long enough to be a part of it. But almost in an equally damning way, the fact that he’s holding that paperback in his hands, with the picture of a woman he doesn’t recognize on the back- a woman with his sister’s name, and her sad, drained smile, and the same shoulders that slump like she has the weight of the world on them- means that Vanya did survive up until the apocalypse. Survived up to it, and could do nothing to defend herself when the time came. Died, and died the same way she’d done most things when they were kids- alone.

And maybe that’s why he holds onto that book like a lifeline, choosing to write his equations and thoughts along the margins and in between the sentences created by his sister’s hand, even if her words are sharper and more scathing than he can remember Vanya ever being. It’s the closest he can be to explaining his thoughts and plans to them, circling important memories and writing the occasional response back in the corners of crumpled pages, tiny notes of familiarity and remembrance that keep him going. That biography doesn’t serve as a notebook so much as a motivator to get the damn equations right and return home to them, save them, save everyone before it’s too late to save them at all.

So when the opportunity comes, he does his time with the Commission and cuts all ties with guilt and emotion each time he pulls the trigger, reminding himself that with every kill, he’s a day closer to fixing things, to making sure that it doesn’t end this way, that he’s not the only one of the Hargreeves children who makes it past thirty. Taking a life here or there to ultimately save the lives of billions seems a small price to pay in a twisted sense he doesn’t want to think too deeply about.

When he makes it back and realizes he has literal days before the end of the world, it’s both a breath of air and an overwhelming amount of pressure. Turning to Vanya for help feels natural because it’s what he’s done for the last few decades, writing out all his thoughts in her book, rereading paragraph after paragraph until he has the whole thing near-memorized. Her voice, her writing, the work that she dumped her time and energy into that none of her other siblings appreciate, that was his link back home. Whether she realizes it or not, his going to her and saying “You’ll listen,” isn’t by random chance. He goes to Vanya because she’s the person he’s been subconsciously been bouncing ideas off of and turning to since the first day he found that smouldering biography in the ruins of an old life, now unfamiliar.

Out of sheer necessity more than anything, he finds himself reaching out to his other siblings as well, frantic above all else to stop the apocalypse (something that nobody else seems to understand the full gravity of), the fate of humankind being a burden that needs a little spreading around at times. 

Family means a lot to Five, and he demonstrates it in small ways throughout the course of the season. Sure, he can be a self-confident smartass, and his concerns are often veiled but if you look, they’re there. His first question to the Handler, upon having her make him an offer, was whether or not he could go back to his family. Upon making it home, he asks about Ben, whether or not his death was bad, warns Vanya about her windows, and checks in with Klaus after his return from Vietnam. Despite his conflict with Luther, he reminds him that he’s lived a lifetime already, and that Luther should be more concerned with looking out for himself than watching Five’s back, taking the time to analyze and change the scene before leaving with the Handler the second time to ensure none of his brothers would get hurt. Clearly at one point or another, he has the time to look into Allison’s life and find out about Claire, saying that he wants to meet her. And then there’s also Diego, who he thinks ahead for in order to have his name cleared, as well as talk to him about Patch.

When Five first tells the Handler what his conditions are for returning to the Commission, the first priority on his list is the survival of his family. All of them. The only exception he’s willing to make in regards to priorities over his own brothers and sisters is ending the apocalypse. That’s the line.

So when they first find out that Leonard is Harold and can’t get a hold of Vanya, Five has two strikes against this man- one, is that he’s the supposed cause of the apocalypse, which makes him the priority to get rid of in the first place, but the second strike is that Five knows something the rest of his siblings don’t- that Vanya’s body isn’t found with theirs. And while he claims “Vanya is not important,” he immediately follows up with, “I’m not saying I don’t care about her, but if the apocalypse happens today she dies along with the other seven billion of us.” He tells his siblings that Harold Jenkins, the man Vanya’s with, is their main priority without ever telling them that on the day of the apocalypse he found all of their bodies except hers- meaning she might not have died in that house.

Horrifically, and previously unthought of, she might have died only a day or two before the apocalypse. And it doesn’t take a brilliant mind to put together the pieces that if she’s with a murderer, there’s a good chance she’ll be a victim. So no, his priority isn’t finding Vanya- his priority is finding Harold and killing him before he initiates the apocalypse or potentially does anything to his sister, because Vanya’s storyline in regards to the end of the world isn’t clear. They can focus on finding her after both threats are gone.

After finding Harold dead, Five is the first one back at the Academy to start searching for Vanya and see if she’s come back. Upon discovering that their sister is still nowhere to be found, Five’s immediate reaction to Diego trying to leave is to ask, “Where are you going? Vanya’s still out there.”

Even when everyone else seems to find better things to do and nobody questions where Vanya Hargreeves ended up after the incident with Leonard, the first thing out of Five’s mouth when he finds an armed Hazel pointing a gun at him and standing in his doorway is not the anticipated and appropriate “Are you here to kill me,” but, in fact, “Do you have my sister?”

With all of this leading up to the fact that Vanya causes the very event that Five’s been working to prevent for a literal lifetime, the solution that we expect to see from him (as we’ve seen in other scenarios up to this point) is that averting the apocalypse is priority over even his own family and, therefore, Vanya has to die to guarantee the world’s safety. And yet, at the end of all things, when Luther questions whether or not they should be bringing Vanya with them, Five answers on everyone’s behalf that they’re not leaving Vanya behind- that she’ll always be the cause of the apocalypse, but maybe they can prevent it if they help her, which is what she needs. While the easiest solution would be to off Vanya and prevent any chance of the apocalypse occurring, Five is (for once) willing to risk the whole apocalypse happening all over again on the chance that they might be able to mend past rifts and build the bridges that they never did with their seventh sibling.

So, to summarize, I want more Hargreeves sibling interaction, particularly between these two, because I’m up for some quality character development coming out of this, and I think they definitely have the potential to build off of it.

#the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy five #the umbrella academy vanya #theumbrellaacademy #this was a way longer rant than I anticipated #sorry folks