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starswallowingsea · 11 months

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Thoughts on enstars?

i like this game a normal amount

i downloaded it on a whim after seeing one of my mutuals post about it shortly after the english release and we talked a little about it. i unlocked like half of the date plan atoz story (like i said, early. that's the second event EVER in the !! era) and thought it was cute or whatever and then kind of played motor show but it wasn't until i gave up on genshin that i really got into the game. i think i was reading chapter 2 of the main story and had just met rinne and was like oh i need to know what this guy's deal is and was dead set on going for his night club card when that event came out.

and then night club came out and i was a goner. that event changed me. it was my first time i think i seriously read any of the event stories and cared about what was going on and i really started brain rotting over rinne specifically and then eventually somewhere along the way i started really liking the rest of the bees too, i think after the release of chapter 5 of the main story and seeing kohaku go on stage and talk about how much he wishes they had gotten closer before rinne and niki had taken off and how they had all been able to come together for such a short time and still do something with their performances.

i read meteor impact early in the fall semester, i remember i spent a full day after class for like 5 hours just slogging through all whatever 50 some odd chapters of it and just losing my mind. and then i read checkmate i think over two days and the same thing. i've read a few other stories since then that were more filler stories but still gave me a greater sense of the world and the characters who are just so. there's 49 of these fuckers and there's a guy for everyone i swear i've been assigning my friends enstars characters on discord and lose my mind over different ones every week lmao. they feel like real people and real friendships that go through real problems and ugh. madara is one of the characters i connected with most with regards to leaving my childhood religion.

like yeah we joke about this game being absolutely insane and there being a lot of weird out of context moments that make others stop and pause and ask what the hell is going on but at the end of the day, the writers clearly have a story they want to tell and love the game just as much as the fans. the fact that they incorporate so so much literary and religious symbolism into these idol gacha game stories that just make me lose my mind (Me, who is like Judas Iscariot, who betrayed the saint for some dimes. You, you don’t hold any grudge for me, and even affirm your love to me, right? Would you even forgive those that crucified and sacrificed you, too?).

For all its flaws, of which there are many, it's such a genuine experience to read and play. The music is good the stories are well written most of the time and it's so full of love.

#ESSAY UNDER THE CUT BTW #i didn't talk about the flaws here but you can find other people who talk about them #like portraying rinne and hiiro as ainu and the stereotypes that get leaned on in some things #like the dog hiiro stickers. poor taste man. and rinne being drunk/a gambler which is a general #anti indigenous stereotype (ofc rinne is way more than that but including those traits to begin with is a little #sketchy at best)#i think most of the time even with stories that fall flat like succession match #they have good intentions and i can see what they wanted to say with the stories yknow?#nobody is perfect and i dont expect that and i'm more shocked that they'd decide to even attempt to seriously talk about #immigration and migrant communities in japan and how they interact with society at all.#it was a little. hmm. but like. i dont think it had bad intentions behind it yknow?#does that make sense?#message in a bottle #anonymous

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peapod20001 · 8 months

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I wonder how many times I’ve googled whether I’m having a panic attack or an anxiety attack...

#vent #hohohahhaoho anyways #I am sooooo bad responding to things....#anyways I’m literally less than five seconds my heartbeat shot up to 144 bpm so. fun <3 my lucky number 44 wouldn’t have it any other way #anyways I need to cry but I can’t cry so you understand. I’m pacing my room and standing with locked knees #and trying not to fumble or bump into things while makin my sister a snack while smilin and being normal <3 #do u understand. ough what is with TODAY whhhhh. is it the aderall?? did the adderall fuck me up today?? or ?? wha??#oghghgg why am I so sweaty JUST in my pits like that’s the WORST spot to be sweaty in #kitty is here <3 she can sense when I’m crazy 🤪🤪#I’m at 160 now <3 ogohohoo ahhhhh I can’t lay down right like that the one thing you shouldn’t do with a fast heart rate #hoho anyways the crippling fear of not being who I need to be for the people I need in order to be #sounds chaotic and strange cus of phrasing but. you understand #anyways my heart doesn’t even get like this when I’m like. performing a full page monologue in front of my peers #I can pretend to be a cat for a minute and a half and tell the dog to stay in their place and not get into mine #uhmmm yea idk I want people to feel comfortable being serious around me and prove I’m the friend to go to for things or be the one who under #understands. but I always feel like. a pariah. is that the word? idk. when I feel confronted with things all I can do is like. run away. cry #suffer alone cus it’s what I deserve. yeaaaa I’m going insane can you tell I think this is the first time since like. February where I feeL #SO bad ugh idk what. I did this to myself the fuck?? haha. hope it doesn’t stress me to hair loss and skin picking and disorderd eating and #bad (or should I say worse HA) sleep habits. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm sorry my problems are minuscule to others and I haven’t had a day of #any real discrimination or struggle in my life #i have everything I need. all I have to worry about is doing class work and attending lectures and watching plays. I don’t have to get thing #a myself or worry about food or a place to live. wooofff uhmmm. I wish I had someone here to squeeze me until I don’t feel like crying any #more. oh I feel so bad what the hell. and my nail is breaking ahahaha imagine. a life where my biggest problem I have to face is #a nail breaking mhmhmhaha #haha when you hold in your tears so hard your nose drenches your chin. sorry that’s gross ahaha idk what I’m doing flooding your dash with.#whatever this is. I’ll try to stop now. sorry

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tatoasting · 1 year

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Now im the dumbass who said "I'm so cute you better claim me for real before I get lost out here" and then made a very serious comment about our shared hesitation for monogamy and that we could hypothetically work around that. I sent that after they went to sleep and then followed it up a few hours later by saying that in less serious news I am watching Bluey and its cute. I added this just in case they didnt want to address what I've just said bc we do have plans to hang with a friend tomorrow afternoon and I will not be awake for long before then so like uhm. Yeah. Idk why I'm getting so impatient to have the conversation. I think I just realized how much I like them recently and idk, I want to be able to call them mine, which is idk. I know they arent big on the whole feeling like they belong to someone, because they belong to themselves first and foremost but idk, the idea of being able to call them like... my girlfriend. And it be true. Woah. And like, maybe thats why they say it jokingly so often but like aaa!!! It would be so nice to say that idk!!

#my mushroom #I get why people say they're green when they're high #it makes so much sense and sounds real good. thats exactly what it feels like. I am green. woa #greened is bad tho. not a fan #this is my personal opinion feel no need to share it #anyway I think this will all be okay #ultimately I think this was a good thing for me to say which will lead to something better in the future #hold on this episode of Bluey is so cute and like. aa #it felt like having a real family wtf am I living vicariously through a cartoon dog?#i wish I had a dad like him #hes just so involved and caring and he commits to the bit and his family AAA #I also wish I had a mom like her. in less episodes #thats mean but yk whatever #im just being edgy bc bluey is so cute and I need to balance it out #I think I'm going to go eat my butter cookies now #Im so excited about them. ive been snacking on them lately bc I havent had the time or energy but I can put butter on them today & I will #bc like. they're like coffee cake. its just that its better with the butter yk? yeah #oh im so tired tho honestly. might fall asleep on couch with cookies and bluey #that sounds nice

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inkoutsidethelines · 1 year

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Thinking about how I would write an adult Scooby-Doo series, because I think it can be done.

The first thing I’d do is make the characters actually be adults. Still young, but adults, in the mid to late 20s range. Mystery Inc. is a private detective type business that they run together. In this universe, the supernatural/ghosts/etc are real, but not necessarily common, so when they take on a case, the culprit might be a person disguised as a monster, or it might actually be a real ghost. The stakes can be higher; sometimes a bad guy is legitimately trying to kill them. Sometimes the mystery they’re trying to solve is a murder. Sometimes they actually get hurt on their cases.

Fred: the core of Fred’s character should be that he’s incredibly kind. Like, give a stranger the shirt off his back kind. The “Fred can’t talk to potential clients because he might take a case for free and we need to eat” kind. He’s an honest and good person and sometimes gets himself into trouble because he assumes other people are too. While he’s not very good at reading people or noticing ulterior motives, he’s brilliant when it comes to mechanical or engineering type stuff, so he’s the one who keeps the mystery machine running, builds their gadgets, and of course, designs the traps.

Daphne: she comes from old money, and her parents absolutely despise her life choices, to the point where they haven’t officially disowned her, but they have basically cut her off, so she doesn’t actually have access to any family money. Growing up wealthy has granted her a variety of skills, including speaking multiple languages, horseback riding, and fencing. She’s very into fashion and jewelry (even if she can’t afford it anymore) and has extensive knowledge of both that can occasionally provide a vital clue in a case. And even though her parents have cut her off, Daphne still has a wide network of contacts she can ask for favors sometimes, because she’s personable, and people tend to like her. Daphne is also very emotionally intelligent, and is usually the one who can spot when someone is lying to them.

Side note - I ship Fred and Daphne, so I think I would start them off as an established couple for this universe. Dating, engaged, married, I don’t care. They are stupidly in love, ride or die for each other. There’s no will they, won’t they, no worries about cheating. They are in a healthy, happy, loving relationship, and no one (not even Daphne’s disapproving parents) are going to mess that up for them.

Velma: she is the forensics nerd who sometimes gets super excited about the wrong thing at the wrong time (”He was mummified in seconds? That’s so cool!” “Velma! His wife is standing right there!” “Oh. Sorry.”). She’s not purposely insensitive, she just gets laser focused on her work and forgets to filter herself sometimes. She’s also the one who can get so fixated on solving whatever mystery they’re working on, she’s willing to bend or maybe break laws. Is breaking and entering really so bad? Not if it gets them answers.

Shaggy: he is still the comic relief, but he’s the comic relief by being the only person in the group that actually has common sense. He manages the business’s finances, he’s the only one who knows how to cook, and the others tease him for being a coward sometimes, but Shaggy maintains that if a ghost with an axe is coming for you, running is the only sensible option. He should also have a range of random knowledge that sounds useless, but sometimes saves the day (ex ventriloquism, origami, the history of spoons, etc).

Scooby: as this is a universe where supernatural creatures exist, Scooby is an ancient eldritch type being that took a shine to Shaggy when he was a kid, and took the form of a talking dog to befriend and hang out with him. Aside from the talking dog bit and not aging, he never uses his powers in a way that anyone notices. The audience is not told upfront that Scooby is an ancient eldritch being; it should slowly be hinted at throughout the series so the audience put it together, but the characters never realize it. Scooby genuinely considers Shaggy to be his best friend, and cares about the rest of the gang too.

#ink speaks #scooby doo #i like the vibes of a grown up scooby doo #where they're part of a mystery solving business #it needs to be a monster of the week type deal #so that it can play around with the character dynamics #because i think that's fun #long post

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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 5 months

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Gonna complain in the tags

#i am in so much pain right now i almost want to die about it tbh #i suspect i have an ear infection and it is some of the worst pain ive ever been in #i can hardly breathe through it. if that makes sense #i cant go to sleep. i wake up in pain. im taking eight ibuprofen at a time every two hours #i know thats bad for me. but it was the only thing that was helping #but now the ibuprofen has stopped helping and the pain is getting worse and ive been suffering like this for two weeks #so i finally decided to make what may be a crippling financial decision #and im gonna go to urgent care tomorrow #and hopefully theyll help with this incessant fucking pain #also it's made it so i cant hear out of my right ear which is super inconvenient #also its my birthday. and im spending it in so much pain that i cant concentrate on anything else #also the other day i found out my best friwnd and my ex girlfriend have been fucking #so im not talking to my best friend for now. i dont know if i will ever want to again #and my ex tried to call me earlier and just recently sent me a snapchat that i havent looked at #those are the two people i want to speak to LEAST in the world right now. im angry and i hate them a little bit #and im in so much pain and i cant hear and im so tired #being in this much pain tires you out so much #like my body is under so much stress that i have no energy to do anything except be in pain #yesterday i woke up at 9am to take out the dog. then went back to sleep until 5pm. after getting a full night's sleep #i have to work tomorrow and its gonna be a long fucking day and i cant hear out of my right ear and everything hurts #and i hate the people i thought i would love forever #so fuck me i guess. happy fucking birthday

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inkskinned · 9 months

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no, actually, where is the whimsy?

my ex had a best friend named larry who asked me once: what do you think comes after irony?

we were at the bar where larry worked. it was a quiet night, and he'd hopped over to sit with us on the patron side. i swirled the lemon around my limoncello martini.

earnest positivity, i said, while my ex said, art self-destructs.

i stared at my ex. he stared at me.

his argument was the cinemasins argument: look how bad media is becoming! look at the loopholes and the dumb shit!

it was roughly 2011. galaxy print was still in. at the time, i had a favorite shirt that was a wolf howling at the moon. it got ripped in half in the wash and i honestly still mourn it. i dressed like effie stonem, because everyone did. and irony was the name of the thing. men liked MLP "ironically." the internet liked the kind of crass, "anti-mainstream" vibes of things like fuck romance, touch my butt and buy me pizza. we put cats in sunglasses everywhere, which was because we only liked things in irony.

and media had the same vibe in it: anti-hero white men would be "hard to love" and then storm off the scene. nobody was just earnestly trying to save the world: they were jaded, angry, unoriginal. mad you even asked them to try to help.

my ex ends up not being wrong. cinemasins becomes super popular. a lot of people start viewing media with this lens that is the cruelest, most jaded depiction. it's wrong for your character to have unexplained powers, even if the entire movie is about how strange it is she has unexplained powers - that is still considered a "loophole." characters make thoughtless, panicked choices? loophole. characters are actually kind people, despite hardship? loophole. features a woman doing literally anything without assistance? loophole. movies become hyper-aware of scrutiny, and now irony rules the media.

which means you go to a movie, and the character has to turn to the screen and say "beats me!!" or one of the side characters has to have some kind of quip like "are you seriously telling me that you think this is normal?" because nothing can happen in earnest. like a sitcom laugh track, we now anticipate the fourth-wall break: the moment that the media acknowledges it is telling a story. the media has to apologize for itself, or else someone like my ex rolls their eyes.

but here's the thing: i wasn't wrong either.

the difference might be that i am (and always have been) so soft-hearted that any crack in the light of this world will spear me into the ground. and i was the poet in the relationship. (he thought that was the same thing as being naïve and stupid). i was making things daily. i knew how all of us artists are driven by some strange desire to evolve. he notably liked to critique art, not to create it.

so yes, i've made things that are bitter and angry and even ironic. i've made long, sharp poems with all capital letters, and i've made poems about how the silence stretches out like a song. someone wrote once that we will spend our whole lives just circling the place we grew up. i think it's more that we spend our whole lives trying to remake a home. i think it's that as we age, it becomes less exciting to build the castle on the beach - we become aware of erosion, of windforce. we realize what we really want is to come home to our dog, castle or not.

and while art in the foreground is mired in white male violence and irony, and aggression, and not taking anything seriously - i don't think that's true of all art. i think more and more artists are leaning in to the things we love. the world has changed so much. they have taken so many things from us. the only thing we have left is love. at the bottom of the moving box - all we get is the faint sense that we have to appreciate what little we've got. i can't enjoy this stuff ironically anymore: what room do i have for irony? if it makes me happy, that is an amazing thing. there are so few happy places left for me. i want to be happy because of how leaves shiver beside each other like nestling birds. i want to be happy because of the color pink, and how magenta doesn't exist. i have spent so much of this life suffering, i have earned my right to a gentle ending. if nothing matters, i get to assign meaning to the nothing. i get to create meaning. i am an artist first and foremost, which means creation is my thing.

where is the whimsy? wherever i fucking put it. because if this is my last fucking chance to do any good in this world - i want to do it earnestly. i want to write things that make you happy. that make people feel heard and seen. what comes after irony has to be positivity.

it was close to my 21st birthday. in 7 years, i would end up writing a book about this relationship, which is hopefully coming out somewhere around May 2024. i come back to this bar scene in my memories a lot. i keep thinking of how pale my ex was. the look that crossed his face. how i looked back at him. how for a moment, both of us couldn't recognize the other person. like the gulf between us was a suddenly wide and cavernous thing. like we were alien to each other. he never took my opinion seriously, and he always seemed surprised whenever his manic-pixie-dream-girl ever broke free of the plot. like in the whole time we were together, i wasn't human enough.

this knowledge: where he said nothing comes after, my only instinct was what comes after is love.

#spilled ink #writeblr #this is a real story lol #looking back i liked larry as a person SO much more than my ex hollyyyyy shitttt #compulsory heterosexuality will do you DIRTY #edit to correct effies name my apologies to effie and effies family

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ode-on-a-grecian-butt · 1 year

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I saw this on quora and thought it was cool and wanted to share it on here. Its a long read but crazy. Its from Erik Painter

They did try. And they did capture Navajo men. However, they were unsuccessful in using them to decipher the code. The reason was simple. The Navajo Code was a code that used Navajo. It was not spoken Navajo. To a Navajo speaker, who had not learned the code, a Navajo Code talker sending a message sounds like a string of unconnected Navajo words with no grammar. It was incomprehensible. So, when the Japanese captured a Navajo man named Joe Kieyoomia in the Philippines, he could not really help them even though they tortured him. It was nonsense to him.

The Navajo Code had to be learned and memorized. It was designed to transmit a word by word or letter by letter exact English message. They did not just chat in Navajo. That could have been understood by a Navajo speaker, but more importantly translation is never, ever exact. It would not transmit precise messages. There were about 400 words in the Code.

The first 31 Navajo Marines created the Code with the help of one non-Navajo speaker officer who knew cryptography. The first part of the Code was made to transmit English letters. For each English letter there were three (or sometimes just two) English words that started with that letter and then they were translated into Navajo words. In this way English words could be spelled out with a substitution code. The alternate words were randomly switched around. So, for English B there were the Navajo words for Badger, Bear and Barrel. In Navajo that is: nahashchʼidí, shash, and tóshjeeh. Or the letter A was Red Ant, Axe, or Apple. In Navajo that is: wóláchííʼ, tsénił , or bilasáana. The English letter D was: bįįh=deer, and łééchąąʼí =dog, and chʼįįdii= bad spiritual substance (devil).

For the letter substitution part of the Code the word “bad” could be spelled out a number of ways. To a regular Navajo speaker it would sound like: “Bear, Apple, Dog”. Or other times it could be “ Barrel, Red Ant, Bad Spirit (devil)”. Other times it could be “Badger, Axe, Deer”. As you can see, for just this short English word, “bad” there are many possibilities and to the combination of words used. To a Navajo speaker, all versions are nonsense. It gets worse for a Navajo speaker because normal Navajo conjugates in complex ways (ways an English or Japanese speaker would never dream of). These lists of words have no indicators of how they are connected. It is utterly non-grammatical.

Then to speed it up, and make it even harder to break, they substituted Navajo words for common military words that were often used in short military messages. None were just translations. A few you could figure out. For example, a Lieutenant was “one silver bar” in Navajo. A Major was “Gold Oak Leaf” n Navajo. Other things were less obvious like a Battleship was the word for Whale in Navajo. A Mine Sweeper was the Navajo word for Beaver.

A note here as it seems hard for some people to get this. Navajo is a modern and living language. There are, and were, perfectly useful Navajo words for submarines and battleships and tanks. They did not “make up words because they had no words for modern things”. This is an incorrect story that gets around in the media. There had been Navajo in the military before WWII. The Navajo language is different and perhaps more flexible than English. It is easy to generate new words. They borrow very few words and have words for any modern thing you can imagine. The words for telephone, or train, or nuclear power are all made from Navajo stem roots.

Because the Navajo Marines had memorized the Code there was no code book to capture. There was no machine to capture either. They could transmit it over open radio waves. They could decode it in a few minutes as opposed to the 30 minutes to two hours that other code systems at the time took. And, no Navajo speaker who had not learned the Code could make any sense out of it.

The Japanese had no published texts on Navajo. There was no internationally available description of the language. The Germans had not studied it at the time. The Japanese did suspect it was Navajo. Linguists thought it was in the Athabaskan language family. That would be pretty clear to a linguist. And Navajo had the biggest group of speakers of any Athabaskan language. That is why they tortured Joe Kieyoomia. But, he could not make sense of it. It was just a list of words with no grammar and no meaning.

For Japanese, even writing the language down from the radio broadcasts would be very hard. It has lots of sounds that are not in Japanese or in English. It is hard to tell where some words end or start because the glottal stop is a common consonant. Frequency analysis would have been hard because they did not use a single word for each letter. And some words stood for words instead of for a letter. The task of breaking it was very hard.

Here is an example of a coded message:

béésh łigai naaki joogii gini dibé tsénił áchį́į́h bee ąą ńdítį́hí joogi béésh łóó’ dóó łóóʼtsoh

When translated directly from Navajo into English it is:

“SILVER TWO BLUE JAY CHICKEN HAWK SHEEP AXE NOSE KEY BLUE JAY IRON FISH AND WHALE. “

You can see why a Navajo who did not know the Code would not be able to do much with that. The message above means: “CAPTAIN, THE DIVE BOMBER SANK THE SUBMARINE AND BATTLESHIP.”

“Two silver bars” =captain. Blue jay= the. Chicken hawk= dive bomber. Iron fish = sub. Whale= battleship. “Sheep, Axe Nose Key”=sank. The only normal use of a Navajo word is the word for “and” which is “dóó ”. For the same message the word “sank” would be spelled out another way on a different day. For example, it could be: “snake, apple, needle, kettle”.

Here, below on the video, is a verbal example of how the code sounded. The code sent below sounded to a Navajo speaker who did not know the Code like this: “sheep eyes nose deer destroy tea mouse turkey onion sick horse 362 bear”. To a trained Code Talker, he would write down: “Send demolition team to hill 362 B”. The Navajo Marine Coder Talker then would give it to someone to take the message to the proper person. It only takes a minute or so to code and decode.

youtube

#WW2 #Navajo code talkers #war in the pacific #Native Americans #Joe Kieyoomia #history

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felidthing · 10 months

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i feel like a lot of my pet/cat opinions sound like theyre teetering on the edge of "animal ownership is problematic" but i am absolutely not hinting at that. i just. have weird ideas about pet animals

#posts #^guy who is a cat #but yeah like. i very much know how cats and dogs differ from humans and im not gonna try to treat them like humans #< ive gone on many-a-rant about how that exact behavior is my least faorite thing ever. thats what makes ppl project human morals onto pets #hate that. your dog isnt doing things to spite you etc etc #but i also feel that cats and dogs (i am so much less familiar with literally every other kind of pet) DO have very important feelings and #deserve a similar respect that humans do. not in an animal rights way #just in a ''living thing youre responsible for'' way #like my animals deserve to not be afraid of me. to the best of my ability. i wish i could explain scary things to them so bad #bc it can be very hard to make things like wound treatment non-scary. its harder for them to understand that youre not trying to hurt them #i am rambling. cats are people in the sense that they are family member adjacent (or not adjacent) and deserve care and respect not unlike #the care given to a child

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beeseverywhen · 10 months

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I just think that if someone's paying their rent and they are using the land you rent to them for its intended purpose (growing food and flowers for my households use) what does it fucking matter how they do it. Like please. What is the point. Chill the fuck out

#gardening is one of those hobbies where you meet people you'd never have reason to spend time with otherwise #which is great! i love that i get to meet ppl and have reason to socialise with ppl who are largely of a different generation.#it's interesting to meet people different to you!#but in the same hand. oh my god i have met some of the worst people. and they arent the worst cause they are bad ppl. they are #just oblivious. not everyone gets to have a healthy working body till they hit 60! not everyone has outdoor space at home #not everyone has money to make this an expensive hobby. not everyone has a car to aid them with that hobby.#not everyone has the time and energy to follow stupid rules that serve no purpose. if it isn't hurting anyone do you need to rule against it #on allotments you find 2 types of hobbyists: ppl who like gardening. and ppl who like dictating how other ppl garden #some ppl are honest to god in it for the rules. like. it irritates me to no end cause they put so many ppl off! diversity is good actually #i like seeing someone a few plots over doing something bizarre and inexplicable. tell me more. please. i love that you are doing you #I'm a big believer in knowing every rule and knowing why it's a rule. don't dump shit cause that makes the land unusable #don't damage the soil because that'll have a lasting impact on the next tenant. look after the soil &#don't turn it in to a dustbowl for the same reason #you cant sell shit because we have a legal entitlement to land to grow things for our own use not commercial use. if you use this land for a #different purpose than intended. everyone's entitlement is threatened. they'll say we don't need it and take it away. use it or lose it #you can't have a cow here cause the land isn't big enough to treat that cow fairly. so restrictions on animals are fair #as tbh are restrictions on trees (tho i badly want trees. i want them so bad.) a tree is a commitment. if you don't commit and tend to it #it'll limit space to grow other stuff. as it can shade/ take water from veg beds which can produce more food #limits on what chemicals you can use make sense! I'm not even against the no dog rule. some dog owners are super annoying & cause problems #but some of these rules are for the sake of making up rules. if someone can argue a way they can do something without being a disruption #to others or causing lasting damage. you should be able to say 'oh OK yeah. in this case that's fine'.#its not reasonable to ban stuff cause you don't personally like how it looks. it's not OK to decide someones wrong cause they arent doing it #as you would. you need to accept that ppl are different and not everyone wants to do things in the same way you do them #not everyone's doing them for the same reasons

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whetstonefires · 1 year

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One thing I don't think I've ever seen talked about is how post-apocalypse ideation is largely about homelessness.

Homelessness looms large in the American consciousness. Like, not that it's irrelevant elsewhere, but it's got a particular cultural place in the US that's reflected in Hollywood, and therefore relevant because what makes it into film and TV sets the terms of so many conversations.

We don't acknowledge it if we can help it, but I think most people know they're never more than a few very bad months from winding up there.

Even people who are sure it only happens to people who deserve it, who fuck up and put one foot in the morass of their own foolish volition. Even they know the quicksand is there, waiting to be walked into, and that the odds are stacked against ever climbing out on your own once you have. And that they, too, are capable of fucking up. Of trusting the wrong person. Of getting cancer incorrectly.

And those of us who know damn well we can't be sure we're safe even if we do everything right, we know it even better.

And in that sense it doesn't matter what the world would realistically look like after X kind of apocalypse, what people would do, how society would adapt. Because the anxiety that's being processed is about the reality that's in existence now.

About what if my world ends. And I lose access to the fruits of developed society, to clean clothes and new glasses and running water, to a safe place to sleep where I don't expect to be killed or robbed, or driven out by men with guns and dogs. To my home and work and family and everything I usually use to tell me who I am.

What if every man's hand is against me, and every meal is a small victory, and there's only my own dwindling strength between me and the long night?

Will I make it? Will I hold up under the strain? Will I retain my dignity? Will I be lucky? Will I be able to protect the people I love, in that world, the world where no one is protecting us anymore?

Is there a way to continue to live as a human person, when you're denied the prerogatives of one, and don't know if you'll ever get them back?

Putting this anxiety into the context of a massive apocalypse divorces this scenario from the burden of shame tied up in the idea of winding up in that sort of situation in the normal course of events, by having society vanish rather than expel you, personally, as a washout, and continue on around you.

It also allows you to rule out a priori the question of what resources might be offered but can't in an anticipatory context be counted on; shelters and programs and housed friends and family who may or may not help. And narrow the narrative to only the question of what you can survive, and often a fairy tale about surviving all of it and starting over.

Rehearsing for a loss in a mythologized format is a very normal anxiety processing behavior, and I think a lot of apocalypse scenario building is attached to the buried dread of that personal apocalypse. But I haven't seen that one make the list.

#hoc est meum #homelessness #apocalypse #post-apocalypse fiction

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seat-safety-switch · 18 days

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When I visit folks in the palliative care home (to see if their cars are running up a big parking ticket that I can "take care of,") they have a lot of regrets. You have but one life to live, unless you're Sonic the Hedgehog, but then you'll fall down holes or get impaled on spikes a lot. I digress: near the end, everyone knows that they are missing a big part of their life.

You might think that this is a loss of a relationship, or an opportunity, or even not seeing that awesome movie in theatres. And you'd be totally wrong. Most people miss their favourite coffee mug from times long past.

Coffee mugs are fragile, and so are our lives. Just like human beings, they're made of dirt and some kind of external force we don't understand. Each one is unique, and when you find your ideal mug, it is gutting to be torn away from it. Clumsy maids. Cabinet door malfunctions. Earthquakes. Swarms of ceramic-devouring wasps. There are so many threats, and we will all part with our favourite coffee mugs before their times.

If only there were something we could do. There is something we could do. To be more correct, there is something I could do. I was extremely fortunate that the palliative care home also contained many dying mad scientists (who did not practice appropriate workplace safety, just saying.) After reading their journals very, very closely, I was able to devise a new machine. This machine, which we are now calling the Mugmembrer, reaches into the farthest depths of the human mind and 3D-prints up an exact replica of that mug you smashed so long ago. Life is brought full circle, with a truly fulfilling sense of closure at long last.

Just don't hook this fucking thing up to a dog. They don't know what mugs even are, but that doesn't stop the machine, oh no. Real bad shit happens really fast, trust me.

#best of

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thebeesatemyknees · 7 months

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141 AND HOW THEY ARE WITH SOMEONE WHO THEY DISCRETELY AND SECRETLY LOVE. LIKE MAYBE NOR A HIDDEN RELATIONSHIP, BUT MORE LIKE BEST FRIENDS AND THEY LOKE READER BUT READER DOESN'T KNOW. IDKK

141 secretly in love with their friend

Word count: 2k || No warnings || Reader: gender neutral. Pronouns "you"

Simon Riley, who always chooses to sit next to you. It’s not even that he lets you sit next to him, no – he goes out of his way to sit next to you. When you’re hanging out in a pub, with him and a bunch of mutual friends (mostly the rest of 141), he lets you choose a seat while he goes to get your drinks. Once he’s back, he places your glass in front of you and tells you to budge up so he can sit next to you. Though, after a few times, it became a routine and you naturally began to make some space for him. Others also know to leave at least one seat beside you empty. If someone forgets, or isn’t privy to this unspoken rule – Simon slaps their shoulder and wordlessly points to a different chair. And so far, no one’s had the balls to tell him no.

He’s a master of dark humour and dad-jokes, and he tells them no matter what reaction he’ll get. He’s used to people rolling their eyes at his puns, but he doesn’t really care. However, with you? It's different. He closely observes your reactions, taking note of things that genuinely make you laugh and things that seem to make you uncomfortable. He catches himself yearning for your reaction, wanting to make you laugh. While in a pub with friends, he keeps telling jokes and adding sarcastic comments, but does it so quietly that only you can hear them. And when he manages to make you laugh, he has a hard time hiding the proud look on his face.

He gives you the “scary dog privilege” and goes out of his way to make it obvious that you’re under his protection. He’s not possessive nor aggressive towards others, but he can stand his ground and you’d have to be absolutely crazy to willingly get on his bad side. So whenever he’s home, he comes with you to all the places you frequent and makes sure all the regulars see that you’ve got a big, scary-looking man at home. They don’t have to know you’re just friends. Honestly, he’d like everyone to think that you’re together. That would keep all the wrong people, all the creeps away from you – that’s what he tells you after not correcting a stranger who commented on you being a cute couple. He then watches your reaction closely, wanting to figure out how you feel about the idea of being together. Whether he has a chance, or should he back off.

If you playfully flirt with him, he smugly reciprocates. As much as he likes puns, he doesn’t use pickup lines, but his witty, flirtatious comments are enough to make your face feel all hot. And he always tells them in the most deadpan manner possible, while looking at you with a half-lidded, almost lazy, look in his eyes. And he doesn’t look away, wanting to see your reaction. To see the smallest twitch of a smile in the corner of your lips. To see you roll your eyes at him or turn away with a blush creeping on your face. He wants to see if you meant it. If you’re willing to take it further.

John Price, who does a bunch of domestic things with you and for you. He makes your friendship feel as if you’ve been happily married for the past 20 years. He rarely goes back to his own flat, most of the time staying at yours. It started with him popping by for a cuppa or to fix something. Now, however, you go grocery shopping together, he has his own drawer in your wardrobe, you have movie nights that you don’t even have to invite him to. You don’t actually live together, he sometimes stays at his place to keep the sense of normalcy. But then you wake up and find him in your kitchen, sleepily drinking a cup of coffee after letting himself in with the spare key you gave him. Fresh bread lying on the counter next to him, as he scrolls through news on his phone. He greets you and stands up to start preparing breakfast for both of you.

He lets you borrow his clothes. Though, that’s a bit of an understatement. He wants you to wear his clothes. That’s why he started to “accidentally” leave his jumpers and shirts at your place. Once you officially let him have a drawer in your wardrobe, he brings all of his best, most comfortable jumpers, even going as far as spraying them with his cologne, in hopes that you'll find comfort in them while he's deployed. He also keeps an extra jacket in his car, though he only offers it to you if he’s not wearing one himself. He won’t admit it, not even in front of himself, but giving you the jacket he’s been wearing ignites a warm feeling inside his chest.

If you playfully flirt with him, he doesn’t flirt back, suddenly getting more serious instead. He might laugh quietly, but sometimes he looks downright annoyed with your teasing. At least that’s what you think. In reality he’s just worried, overthinking the situation while a sombre feeling sets in the pit of his stomach. He feels like he’s betraying you. Here you are, feeling comfortable and safe enough to joke with him like this, while the only thing he can think of is to make you his.

Kyle Garrick, who takes you out as often as possible. He organises lots of platonic (please end his misery) dates. If either of you wants to check out a new place or simply go to your regular spots, he immediately calls you. Cafes, arcades, shops, parks, galleries, bookshops. At some point, it might make you think that he doesn’t have that many friends, but no. He just chooses to spend time with you over anyone else. While eating out, you often get into arguments over who’s gonna pay the bill. He jokingly tells you that he needs someone to spend the “military money” on, but he really just wants to see you enjoy yourself properly without worrying about the expenses. To see you, being taken care of. And he’d be so damn happy to be the one to do that.

He’s also very attentive to your likes and dislikes. While walking through shopping centres, he takes note of things you seem to want but end up putting back on the shelf. That being said, he’s the best gift giver. And it’s not just expensive gifts. Honestly, he rarely gets you pricey things, worrying that it might overwhelm you. But he doesn’t stop himself from getting you knick knacks, your favourite snacks, or even simply picking some flowers for you when you go on hikes.

While deployed, he sends you short letters, sometimes adding some local sweets as well. He knows it would be much simpler to just text you or call you, which he does, but he believes that handwritten letters are more meaningful. The first time he tells you that, you roll your eyes at him. He then asks, pretending to be deeply offended, if he should stop sending them since you dislike them so much. No matter your response, he’d be sending them anyway. And if he ever finds out that you kept all of his letters tucked away safely in a box somewhere in your room, he will have a hard time hiding the tears welling up in his eyes.

If you playfully flirt with him, his brain short-circuits. The best he can do is huff a laugh quietly and reply with a simple “alright” as he looks away from you, trying to play it cool. He doesn’t flirt back, simply because he can’t. His face gets all hot, sweat suddenly coating his palms. Did you mean it? Are you teasing him? Did you finally find out about his feelings towards you? His heart is just as frantic as his thoughts. He shakes his head and tries to casually change the topic, which only makes him look more suspicious. You, oblivious to his internal torment, probably interpret his reaction as discomfort, which makes you step back and avoid flirting with him again. This, in turn, leads him to even more panic, worrying that he’s lost his chance, as he tries to bring your conversations back on the more flirtatious track.

[Sorry to my Scottish readers, you might feel a bit excluded here. Anyway, Johnny still takes you on a fun road trip!]

Johnny MacTavish, who takes you on spontaneous road trips. If you’re not from Scotland, he takes you there to show you his hometown and places he used to go to with his family when he was a kid. He picks you up and drives north but takes an indirect route, stopping at different locations that interest you. You get stuffed with snacks that he prepared for the road and lose both your voice and your hearing from how loudly both of you sing. Throughout the whole trip, he discreetly takes care of you, casually opening the car door for you, making stops so you can stretch your legs, making sure you’re not getting cold. And so, instead of getting to your destination in seven-ish hours, the trip itself takes you two days. You stop midway and find a decent room in a small inn, ending up sharing it together. He keeps his distance, but he has a hard time stopping his eyes from lingering, finding great pleasure in looking at you getting comfortable and ready for bed. His voice gets low and calm while you talk, letting the late hour lead your conversation towards more meaningful, intimate territory. Next day, once you get to his childhood home, he introduces you to his family, and at some point you catch his mum giving him a strange look. When you ask, he tells you he doesn’t know what you’re talking about. However, what you don’t notice is that he turns away while saying it, trying to hide his reddening face from you. You might be oblivious to his feelings, but his mother figured out that her son is head over heels for you the moment you walked into their house.

He tries to teach you some Scottish phrases. You don’t really use them, worried that it would sound strange next to your regular, very not-Scottish accent. But then one day it slips out of your mouth. Maybe you got annoyed with him, which wouldn’t be surprising considering how often he teases you. The moment the words leave your mouth, a wide grin spreads across his face. He cheers like a lunatic, picking you up and twirling around with you in his arms. [And let me make myself absolutely clear – even if you’re a bigger person – you’re in the air. All you can do is dangle your legs above the ground and hold onto him for your dear life. His muscles are for practical purposes, not just visual.]

If you playfully flirt with him, he shamelessly flirts back. With one simple comment, you unleash absolute chaos upon yourself. Hopefully you’ve got more pickup lines up your sleeve, cuz you’ll really need them. To this point, he was keeping himself in check, making sure not to overstep any boundaries. But once you flirt with him, it’s a green light, game on – he’s not stopping anytime soon. He’s a very open flirt too. He’ll use the most cheesy pickup lines on you, a wide smile permanently fixed on his face. Seeing him wiggle his eyebrows at you doesn’t even surprise you anymore. He’s also a rather physical person, so you’ll have to get used to him leaning in and playfully bumping your shoulders or knees together, or constantly resting his arm around the back of your chair.

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