#doing incorrect quotes for the owl house now huh

[nobody-expects-the-inquisitorius]

TBB Incorrect Quotes, Part 6

Wrecker: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute. Tech: No, that's not how you make cookies. Omega: FLOOR IT!! Wrecker: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!? Tech: yOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN- Wrecker: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES! Crosshair: DO IT! Tech: NO-

Crosshair: You are an absolute fucking dork.  Wrecker, singing: Yeah, but I'm your dork!  Crosshair: *sighs* Yeah, you're my dork. 

Echo: Can I have some? Hunter, mouth full of cheesecake: It's really spicy, you wouldn't like it.

Crosshair, with a headache: Advil me up, daddy. Echo: I will short out the language center of your brain if you say anything like that ever again.

Wrecker: *Kicks the door open, looking panicked* Hunter: What did you do?! Wrecker: NOBODY DIED! Hunter: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

Echo: So don't panic but one of us is possessed by an owl.... Omega: .... Tech: ..... Hunter: ...... Wrecker: ..Who? Echo: That's the thing we don't- *Everyone stares at Wrecker*

Omega: The floor is lava!  Hunter: *helps Tech onto the counter*  Crosshair: *kicks Wrecker off the sofa*  Echo: *lays on the floor*  Omega: ...Are you okay?  Echo: No. 

Crosshair: *coughs blood* Wrecker: Don't die, Crosshair! Crosshair: Don't tell me what to do!

*Hunter is cleaning the house and he finds an empty bottle of orange juice* Hunter: Clear orange juice? Hunter: Oh, it's empty. Echo, who has been watching the entire time: I live with an idiot. I live with an idiot. I live with an idiot.

Crosshair: We can't lose. Because we have this. *points to his chest*  Echo: We have heart?  Crosshair: Heart? No, me. I'm pointing at myself. I'm going to win this for us. 

Tech: *falls down the stairs* Omega: Are you okay? Echo: Stop falling down the stairs! Crosshair: How’d the ground taste?

Wrecker: I wasn’t that drunk. Echo: You colored my face with a highlighter because you said I was important. Wrecker: BECAUSE YOU ARE!

Echo: What if people had food names and food had people names? Tech: Hey, spaghetti, we’re having Echo for dinner. Hunter: What is wrong with you people? Crosshair: Shut up, chocolate.

Crosshair: I have the sharpest memory here - name one time I forgot something! Tech: You left me, Wrecker, and Omega in a parking lot at 2am a day ago. Crosshair: I did that on purpose, try again.

Tech: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything? Hunter: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital. Tech: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you. Hunter: But I heard a siren. Omega: That was Wrecker. Wrecker: Sorry, I got nervous.

Echo: Tell Crosshair off, Omega! Assert yourself! Omega: That's my ice cream! Echo: Good! Now let him have it!! Omega, handing Crosshair the ice cream: Here, you can have it!

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker* Echo: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know. Everyone: Omega: ...I did. I broke it. Echo: No. No you didn't. Crosshair? Crosshair: Don't look at me. Look at Tech. Tech: What?! I didn't break it. Crosshair: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken? Tech: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken. Crosshair: Suspicious. Tech: No, it's not! Wrecker: If it matters, probably not, but Hunter was the last one to use it. Hunter: Liar! I don't even drink that crap! Wrecker: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier? Hunter: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Wrecker! Omega: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Echo. Echo: No! Who broke it!? Everyone: Wrecker: Echo... Crosshair's been awfully quiet. Crosshair: rEALLY?! *Everyone starts arguing* Echo, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. Echo: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Echo: Echo: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

Echo: You know, when I first met you I thought you were a real bitch.  Crosshair: What changed your mind?  Echo: Oh, I still think you're a bitch. I've just grown to like that about you.

Tech: You guys worried about Wrecker?  Omega: Totally!  Hunter: Yeah, he called me in the middle of the night and just yelled, "what do I do, what do I do, what do I do, what do I do?"  Tech: And what'd you say?  Hunter: "I dunno, I dunno, I dunno, I dunno."  Omega:  Tech: He’s lucky to have you as a friend. 

Crosshair: You are a solid 11/10. Tech: Aw, thank- Crosshair: Which is 1.1 because you look like shit.

Hunter, very tired: Can I sleep in your bed?  Crosshair: *half asleep* Hunter, this is a queen-sized bed. That means it’s for *gestures vaguely to himself* the Queen.

Tech, to Crosshair: If Wrecker doesn't say "I'm King of the world" within an hour on that boat, I will give you my next pay check.  Wrecker, within 5 minutes of getting on the boat: I'M KING OF THE WORLD!!!

Wrecker: Remember that time you dared me to lick a swingset?  Tech: No, I said "Wrecker, don't lick that swingset" and you said "Don't tell me what to do!” and licked the swingset.

Tech: Bottling up negative emotions is bad for your health, so you shouldn’t do it. Crosshair: I know. That’s why I bottle up all my emotions, both positive and negative, so it cancels out. Tech: Th-that’s not how that works-

Hunter: Hey, are you okay? Crosshair: Yeah. Hunter: You don’t look okay… Crosshair: Then stop looking. Tech: Ducks are better than rabbits.  Hunter: What? Rabbits are adorable. Have you ever been in a fight with a duck? Ducks are jerks.  Wrecker: Duck is delicious! Rabbit is all gamey.  Hunter: We’re not talking about flavour, Wrecker!  Wrecker: Flavour counts!  Hunter: Who carries around a duck’s foot for good luck? Anyone?  Echo: You wrap yourself in a comforter stuffed with rabbit hair. I’ll wrap myself in a comforter stuffed with duck feathers! Who’s cozier?  Hunter: Okay, but-  Echo: NO, NO, NO, NO. WHO’S COZIER?  Wrecker: Then why don’t we take a rabbit, a duck, stick ‘em in a cardboard box and let them fight it out!  Hunter: BECAUSE IT’S ILLEGAL, WRECKER!  Wrecker: ONLY IF WE BET ON IT, HUNTER!  Tech: I- Jesus-

Hunter: What can therapy do for me that screaming in my car for 30 minutes can’t?

Tech: You ever get so tired that you start seeing spiders?  Echo: Me after I take 17 Benadryl and start seeing the hat man.  Tech: THE WHO?  Echo: Oh is this not a safe space suddenly?

Wrecker: How did you break your leg?  Hunter: Do you see those porch stairs?  Wrecker: Yes.  Hunter: I didn't.

Crosshair: Who wants to make fifty bucks?  Omega: How?  Crosshair: I need someone to take the fall.  Omega: What did you do?  Crosshair: I can't tell you. Yes or no, no questions asked.  Echo, from the other room: Oh my god.  Crosshair: ...  Echo: OH MY GOD!  Omega: Make it a hundred.  Crosshair: Deal.

Tech: Anything else?  Crosshair: Yeah. Stay away from me!  Tech: Alright. See you in the room we share.

Omega: I have a problem.  Crosshair: Kill it.  Omega: Can you chill for like, two seconds? Echo: BWWAAAAAAAAAA! Oh, you hear that? That's the wrong opinion alarm.  Tech: That is not something you actually have installed.  Echo: Sorry, say again? I couldn't hear you over my alarm that YOU SET OFF with your WRONG-ASS OPINION.

Tech, looking at a selfie of Wrecker’s: I hate this photo.  Wrecker: I’m cute as fuck in that photo! I’m smiling kindly.  Tech: You’re not smiling kindly; you look like you’re up to something.  Wrecker: Up to kindness.

Tech: What do you do when someone offers you drugs?  Wrecker: Take them!  Hunter: Punch them in the neck!  Echo: Say thank you!  Crosshair: Offer them more drugs to assert dominance!  Tech: …  Tech: No.

Hunter: Crosshair, you're testifying in an aggravated assault case tomorrow, and the D.A. is worried about how you'll present yourself on the stand.  Crosshair: Why? I'm fine on the stand!  *flashback to Testimony #1*  Crosshair: Look, I'll make this real simple so even these dumdums can understand.  Crosshair, to the jury: MAN DID CRIME.  *flashback to Testimony #2*  Crosshair: I'm sorry, could you make her stop doing that weird thing with her face?  Defense Attorney, next to the crying defendant: ...Crying?  *flashback to Testimony #3*  Crosshair: And when this is over, I'm gonna find you and I'm gonna break those little fingers.  Judge: Could the witness please stop threatening the stenographer?

#incorrect quotes #incorrect bad batch quotes #the bad batch #tbb #star wars #star wars memes

[crying-pan420]

@trendyshadowqueen @thisistheroomofthedead incorrect quotes

Diego : *coughs blood* 
Aaron : Don't die, Diego ! 
Diego : Don't tell me what to do!

*While planning to break in somewhere* 
Liam : Hey, let's do "Get Help!" 
Diego : What? 
Liam : "Get Help." 
Diego : No. 
Liam : C'mon, you love it! 
Diego : I hate it. 
Liam : It's great! It works every time! 
Diego : It's humiliating. 
Liam : Do you have a better plan? 
Diego : No. 
Liam : We're doing it! 
Diego : We are not doing "Get Help!" 
*A Minute Later* 
Liam , carrying Diego : Get help! Please! They're dying! Help Them! *throws Diego at guards, knocking them out* 
Liam : Ahh, classic! 
Diego : *gets up* I still hate it. It's humiliating. 
Liam , laughing: Not for me, it's not.

Diego : Just so everyone knows, don't ever try to climb a tree at night carrying a strobe light, owls DON'T like it. 
Jade: ...what happened? 
Diego : I made a VERY bad mistake.

Aaron , texting in the group chat: I wonder what Apple shots would look like? 
Liam : *Sends a picture of of a syringe with an apple slice shoddily edited inside* 
Jade: *Sends a picture of a shot glass with an Apple poorly drawn inside* 
Diego : *Sends picture of person dunking a Basketball into the hoop but replaced the basketball with a poorly resized apple* 
Aaron : I hate all of you.

Aaron : What's worse than a heartbreak? 
Jade: Waking up in the morning and your phone wasn't charging. 
Liam : Waking up in the morning. 
Diego : Waking up.

Jade: They... well, I wouldn't call it inheritance per se. What do you call it when you kill someone and get their stuff? 
Liam : Um, murder??? 
Aaron : Adventuring! 
Diego : Tuesday.

Liam : Today at 7 am, Diego poured a Monster energy drink in their coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing. 
Jade: I watched Diego brew their coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think they ascended into the astral realm. 
Aaron : The survivability of the human race never fails to amaze me.

Jade: We might have gotten into a bar room brawl back in the city. 
Liam : Well, that was entirely predictable. 
Jade: One of them punched a gang member. 
Liam : Aaron ? 
Jade: Diego , actually. 
Liam : Oh, that was going to be my second guess.

Liam : So Aaron was just using me? 
Jade: I’m sorry, Liam . 
Diego , trying to contain their amusement: You must feel pretty stupid right now. 
Liam : 
Jade: Ok, that’s a time-out. 
Diego : No, I was just trying to- 
Jade: Go sit over there! 
Diego : *walks away in defeat*

Aaron : *points at Liam * A human turtleneck, *points at Jade* a narcissistic monster, *points at Diego * and literally the dumbest person I’ve ever met. 
Diego : And who am I? Describe me now

Jade: Yesterday, I watched Diego try to eat a decorative rock from Liam 's potted plant. Aaron caught them, and told them they can't eat rocks. Diego started whining something about no food being in the house before walking away.

Liam : Oh god, they texted you ‘hi.’’ punctuation only means one thing, Aaron . They're mad at you. 
Aaron : No, it's Diego . They're just being gramatically correct! 
*meanwhile* 
Diego : And then I used a period so they'd know that I'm mad at them. 
Jade: A period doesn't say 'I'm mad', it says 'you're dead to me'. 
Diego : I stand by my choice.

Diego : I’m gonna die alone. 
Liam : Diego , you’re not gonna die alone. 
Diego : Aaron , was my safety net, okay? They got married and now I have to get a snake. 
Jade: Uh-huh. Why is that? 
Diego : If I’m gonna be an old lonely person, I’m gonna need a thing, you know? A hook. Like that guy in the subway who eats his own face. 
Diego : So I figured I’ll be “Crazy Man With A Snake”, you know? Crazy snake man. 
Diego : Then I’ll get more snakes, call them my babies. Kids won’t walk past my place, they will run! RUN AWAY FROM CRAZY SNAKE MAN!

Aaron : Good night. 
Liam : Sleep tight. 
Diego : Don't let the bedbugs crawl up to your ear and whisper threatening things that make you question yourself. 
Jade: Great, now Liam 's crying.

#rtc oc #rtc sona #choirsona #choirsona incorrect quotes #i just think the 4 of them have a silly dynamic

[theriverdraws]

Got the idea from @pizzaboat

#doing incorrect quotes for the owl house now huh #seems like a common theme between me and fandoms lol #toh #the owl house #toh hunter #luz noceda #hunter toh #my art

[poisoned-peppermint]

I made dsmp incorrect quotes you wanna see em of course you do here

Bad: *seductively takes off glasses*

Bad: Wow...

Skeppy: *blushes* Haha... what?

Bad: You're really flipping blurry.

~~~~~~~

Skeppy: Is something burning?

Bad, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you.

Skeppy: Bad, the toaster is literally on fire.

~~~~~~~

Skeppy: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?

Bad: ...Have you never taken a shower before?

~~~~~~~

Skeppy: So don't panic but one of us is possessed by an owl....

George: ....

Dream: .....

Sapnap: ......

Bad: ..Who?

Skeppy: That's the thing we don't-

*Everyone stares at Bad

~~~~~~~

*Everyone is giving advice to Sapnap*

Skeppy: It's okay to ask for help.

Dream: You're not a burden.

Bad: Murder is okay.

George: Your feelings matter. 

~~~~~~~

Dream: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.

Sapnap: This knife is actually a magic wand.

George: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel.

Bad: *cocks gun* Magic missile.

Skeppy: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

~~~~~~~

Dream: Did you bring Sapnap?

George, gesturing to Skeppy: No, but I brought the next best thing.

Dream: Skeppy? The next best thing would be Bad.

Skeppy: I would be offended, but Bad is freakishly strong.

~~~~~~~

Sapnap: You're a lying piece of shit!

George: Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!

Skeppy: I'm leaving and I'm taking Bad with me!

Dream, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.

~~~~~~~

Sapnap: So anyways have y'all seen Bad?

Dream: I think they went in Skeppy's room 'studying'.

George: Doubt that. I heard groans there.

*Meanwhile in Skeppy's room*

Bad & Skeppy, fighting:

~~~~~~~

Bad: Isn’t it weird that we can’t ride any other animal except horses. Like if horses weren’t a thing, humans would be fucked cause we couldn’t ride any other animals. Like riding animals wouldn’t really be a thing. We should probably be more grateful to horses.

George: Elephants.

Bad: Blocked.

Dream: Camels.

Bad: Extra blocked.

Sapnap: Donkeys.

Bad: Ultra blocked.

Skeppy: That dick.

Bad: ...Followed.

~~~~~~~

Bad, opening a Capri Sun: Guess I'll drink my sorrows away

 ~~~~~~~

Quackity: I’m this close to falling in love with Sapnap.

Karl: Your fingertips are touching.

Quackity: Exactly.

~~~~~~~

Karl: So how’s the food Quackity made?

Sapnap: It's great! Compliments to them.

Karl: *goes to the kitchen*

Karl: You're adorable.

Quackity: *blushes*

~~~~~~~

Bad: Hey guys I just found a new song I really like-

Quackity: Is it about death?

Bad: No.

Sapnap: Is it about drugs?

Karl: Is it about sex?

Bad: NO- it's about happiness and peace and-

Quackity, Sapnap, and Karl:

~~~~~~~

Karl: Made you all playlists!

Karl: Sapnap, yours has only heavy metal, and is dark like your soul.

Karl: Quackity, yours has sad songs and blues to pair with your crippling depression.

Karl: And Bad has the ABBA Gold album. 

~~~~~~~

Karl: I give up. I am so tired.

Bad: Get the emergency supply!

Quackity: *carries Sapnap and places them in front of Karl*

Sapnap: *smiles*

Karl: AND I AM BACK BABY, LET’S GOOO

~~~~~~~

Karl: What’s the announcement, Quackity?

Quackity: It’s a lecture. Bad’s gonna tell us everything they know about sex.

Sapnap: It should be an enjoyable 60 seconds. 

 ~~~~~~~

Bad: Sapnap, you'll be working with Quackity and Karl.

Sapnap: Alright! My fantasy threesome!

Everyone else: *blank stares*

Sapnap: ...Of people on a team.

~~~~~~~

Quackity: We might have gotten into a bar room brawl back in the city.

Karl: Well, that was entirely predictable.

Quackity: One of them punched a gang member.

Karl: Sapnap?

Quackity: Bad, actually.

Karl: Oh, that was going to be my second guess. 

 ~~~~~~~

Bad: Alright, which one of us is gonna check outside?

Karl: Not it!

Sapnap: Not it!

Bad: ...Neither one of you are as dumb as you lead on to be.

~~~~~~~

Karl and Sapnap: *making loud, shouty gorilla sounds at each other*

Quackity:

Bad, exasperatedly: We have a guest. 

 ~~~~~~~

Sapnap: I am darkness. I am a power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am-

Karl: A doll.

Quackity: A cinnamon roll.

Bad: A sweetheart.

Sapnap:

Sapnap: ...stop it. 

 ~~~~~~~

Quackity, pointing to the wall: What color is this?

Sapnap: Gray.

Bad: Grey.

Quackity, turning to Karl: Now tell them what color you think it is.

Karl: Dark white.

~~~~~~~

Karl: We need to distract these guys.

Bad: Leave it to me.

Bad: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.

Sapnap & Quackity: *immediately begin arguing* 

 ~~~~~~~

Skeppy: Bad is too tall for me to kiss them on the lips. What should I do?

Ant: Punch them in the stomach. Then, when they double over in pain, kiss them.

Quackity: Tackle them!

Puffy: Dump them.

Velvet: Kick them in the shin!

Bad: No to all of those! Just ask me to lean down!!

~~~~~~~

Velvet: Christmas lights?

Bad: Check.

Ant: THermos of hot cocoa?

Bad: Check.

Quackity: Santa suits?

Bad: Check.

Puffy: Shovel?

Bad: Check.

Skeppy: Alibi and bail money?

Bad: Check- wait, WHAT?!

~~~~~~~

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

Bad: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Everyone:

Skeppy: ...I did. I broke it.

Bad: No. No you didn't. Velvet?

Velvet: Don't look at me. Look at Ant.

Ant: What?! I didn't break it.

Velvet: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Ant: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Velvet: Suspicious.

Ant: No, it's not!

Quackity: If it matters, probably not, but Puffy was the last one to use it.

Puffy: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Quackity: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Puffy: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Quackity!

Skeppy: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Bad.

Bad: No! Who broke it!?

Everyone:

Quackity: Bad... Gumi's been awfully quiet.

Gumi: rEALLY?!

*Everyone starts arguing*

Bad, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

Bad: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Bad:

Bad: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here

~~~~~~~

Velvet: How much you wanna bet Bad got a Lap dance from Skeppy?

Ant: If that happend, Quackity can drink free tonight.

Quackity: As much as I love the thought of having free drinks I don't like the idea of Bad receiving a Lap dance from someone other than me.

Velvet: Hey Skeppy, did you give Bad a lap dance?

Skeppy: So what if I did?

Velvet, to Ant: I guess Quackity is drinking free tonight.

Skeppy: Be right back, I'm gonna go cry-

Bad, entering the room: What the muffin??

~~~~~~~

Bad: Skeppy kissed me!

Ant: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!

Bad: It was unbelievable!

Ant: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!

Velvet: Okay, we wanna hear everything. Ant, get the wine and unplug the phone. Bad, does this end well or do we need tissues?

Bad: Oh, it ended very well.

Ant: Do not start without me! Do not start without me!

Velvet: Okay, alright, let’s hear about the kiss. Was it a soft brush against your lips or was it like a, you know, “I gotta have you now” kind of thing?

Bad: Well, at first it was really intense, you know? And then, oh God, and then we just sort of sunk into it.

Velvet: Ohh... So, okay, were they holding you? Or were their hands on your back?

Bad: First they started out on my waist and then they slid up and then they were in my hair.

Ant and Velvet: Ohhh.

*meanwhile*

Skeppy eating pizza in their house: And, uh, and then I kissed them.

Quackity: Tongue?

Skeppy: Yeah.

Puffy: Cool.

~~~~~~~

Bad: If you can’t beat them, dress better than them

 ~~~~~~~

Bad: Okay okay stop asking me if I'm straight, gay, bi, whatever. I identify as a FREAKING THREAT.

 ~~~~~~

I will be making a part 2 shortly this is just getting to long

#dsmp #incorrect quotes #skephalo #dream smp incorrect quotes #karlnapity #dsmp techno