#doing this is the spirit of Jenna Marbles
Text
Jenna Ortega, Princess AU,
Fateful love
Forbidden love
Soul mates
First love
None of this is real <obviously> this is just a work of fiction.
This is my first post on here, I used write on wattpad!
Warnings: Domestic Abuse, Swearing, mature language, kissing(?) There may be more, im not sure.
The Moon and The Ocean
There's probably going to be spelling mistakes, grammar errors and maybe it's even a confusing plot.
Word count: 8000+
Your days went by dreadfully slow, every moment that blinked was torturous. Your father, the king of some far away land had promised your hand in marriage; You was to be wed the moment you turned a women, your 18th birthday.
It was the day before, you paced back and forth your bedroom. Biting nervously on your nail, your hair lossley falling below your collar bone. Your feet tapped against the hard wood, your room feeling foreign to you. It was strang, marriage was always something you knew would eventually come. However, you hadn't expected your dear father to had given your hand in marriage at the young age of 6. Sickness swelled in your stomach, knowing full well that the man you was to marry was at least triple your age.
The bile rose, aching at your throat. Suddenly, the corset that was tied far too tight on your stomach began to burn, your eyes swelled with tears and you sobbed. You slide down your door, gasping as the tears consumed you whole.
Screaming wasn't something you wanted to do-but you needed to. It was mortifying, not being able to chose who you love. You stared at the floor, the magnificent marble of the ceiling soon catching your tearful eyes. You huff out, tears still falling down your cheeks.
Why couldn't you just be a happy husband-less princess?
But no, your father had screamed practically howled when you suggested a life without a man. He cried out that his own daughter, the hier to the throne had to marry and birth other heirs. You gritted your teeth, deciding this wasn't a battle to lose your head over. Literally.
Slowly, your spirits was brought back to life. Extremely slowly.
You stumbled to your feet, shuffling as the dress below your feet tripped you up ever so slighly.
The door infront of you swung open, in walking the princess Ortega herself. You holted in your stance, taken back by her sudden appearance. You bowed down, your dress once again catching under your feet and making you slip.
"What's with the formalities, Y/L/N?" The princess smiled up at you, offering you a dimpled filled sight. Your stomach swooned, your cheeks blazing a deep red. You too offered a sweet smile, shining your teeth at the women infront of you.
"To what do I owe this pleasure, princess?" You asked, a brow raised. The Ortega infront of you chose to ignore your question, she strode forward walking further into the room.
"I do love your room, it's the most glamorous sight I have been fortunate to see." The princess stated, sliding your closed blinds open. The sun broke through the dark curtains, seeping into your dim room. She smiled at the sight of the castle infront of her, the true beauty that was held within the country you would soon be ruling.
"Isn't it beautiful?" The brunette asked, swooning at the sight of such a kingdom. Your eyes couldn't tear away from the sight of her, she was flawless. You always thought Jenna Ortega was beautiful, naturally perfect; but her freckles was the thing that drove you to insanity.
"Positively." You mumbled, eyes preoccupied with how her eyes lit up, her dimples creating shallow pools on her cheeks. You sigh softly, running your hands up her back.
Sadness dipped into the atmosphere, the truth of what was to come tomorrow. Your birthday would come, your husband would show, you would be married, forever.
"Do you have to?" The princess' voice broke, her eyes no longer holding the sight of the kingdom but now the sight of someone who was about to lose the love of their life.
"I tried, Princess. I tried." The women infront of you gripped the curtains that were held in her hand. She gritted her teeth, not understanding the sudden formalities you had forced on her.
"Why won't you call me by my name?" She asked, turning around to you with an accusing look. You stumbled back, the harshness taking you by suprise.
"We love each other." She whispered, a single tear falling from her chocolate fountain of eyes. You gulped down your pride, your heart shattering with the look she gave you.
Jenna Marie Ortega had stole your heart, took it for herself. She was flawless, funny and most of all your bestfriend. When she confessed under the moonlit tree you honesly couldn't care about the repercussions that would take place for you, the princess who fell in love with another princess.
It wasn't talked about, nor was it a thing you thought plagued most people. You fell in love with a women, and that was bad. She told you it wasn't, she told you that running away would be fun; facing the raft of the people finding out their future queen was anything but perfrect; they'd kill you, murder you in broad daylight infront of hundreds to name and shame your kind.
She wiped away the single tear that treded down her plush cheek, her digit soon wiping away the tears that fell for you. You couldn't face her, too ashamed that you wasn't brave enough to stand up and speak about the love you felt for Princess Ortega.
"We loved each other." She then corrected, her eyes turning a dark cold. Her eyes no longer sparkled when they met yours, they burnt with anger. Princess Ortega already had a well established reputation, she was named the voice of the people.
She stood up against racism, single handedly helped thousands of people who was ruined due to poverty. She was a true princess, a selfless soon to be queen who stopped at nothing.
You however was scared, terrified of what your father would do. Murder? Conversion? Banishment? All of the thoughts riddled you at night.
Every kiss, every touch, every hushed whisper of I love you rang through your head as you stood defeated. You once again reach out and nibbled on your nail, scared of what Jenna would do.
"I love you-" she released a sigh at your confession, her eyes softening at once. She was hesitant, her finger grazing her dress as she reached forward. The princess you fell hopelessly and loyal for came rushing back into her face, a sigh leaving your parted lips.
"Run away with me, please."
The bubbly laugh that sprung out of your mouth was mocking, a pure sign that her request wasn't going to be taken into consideration. Princess Ortega huffed out her chest, hating nothing more than when someone would laugh in her face when she asked them something.
Princess Ortega ran a hand through her curled hair, her nose flaring ever so slightly. She glared at you like you was nothing but a toddler. Her eyes shot to kill, annoyed that she couldn't have what she wanted.
"Why are you laughing." She seethed, her bottom lip trapping in between her teeth. You shuffle on your feet, assuming she was joking. Your mouth fell open, soon closing when the women infront of you stormed closer to the window; in the utmost dramatics.
"I- I thought you was joking." You mumble out. She placed two hands against the pane window infront of her. She was yet to calm down, her breathing staggered and eyes trained to everything but you.
You stood awkwardly in the center of your room, hands gently brushing into your dress due to the build up of sweat. A sigh left your parted lips, the realisation dawning down on you.
"I'll be Queen tomorrow." You offer the brunette into a conversation starter. The Princess' shoulders tensed, her hands gripping into a fist.
"No. You'll be married tomorrow. You'll be some pawn in a game that was meant to defeat a women to ever rule a fucking kingdom without a stupid man beside her!" The women screamed, spit stuttering out of her hung open mouth as she did. Her eyes were blood shot by now, tears forming as anger swelled her short frame. Her fist clenched, so tightly the once was a nice olive colour turned white.
"Jenna-"
"No. Your father promised you to a man when you was 6! Y/N, you was a child and another man came along and picked you. The man you will marry is 50. He was a grown man when he decided you would be his queen." The princess screamed, howling like a banshee. No doubt the guards and maids outside your room heard the argument erupted, their eyes trained to the floor as Princess Ortega released every thought that ran through her mind.
"We can't just change the way the world functions, Princess. That isn't how this stupid game plays out. We had fun, we fell hopelessly in love and you became my world, the moon would speak to me at night- talk about the ocean and I would speak of you, your smile, your laughter, the way you always try to fight. I'm not a fighter, Jenna, I won't lose my kingdom, I won't lose my life because-" the words died, you was left gasping. Your breathing became irregual, struggling to see when the tears began to leak like acid out of your eyes; burning you as they did.
"Because you love a women?" The question lingered in the air, the tears fell from both of your eyes uncontrollably. A seemingly dramatic sight for those who was fortunate to never fall in love with someone who you couldn't have; but to those who knew the pain, felt the burden and the hollowness of how love could drag you into such a dark and unforgiving place. It was tourtous, a wound that never healed, a song that you wished you'd never heard.
"Isn't it."
"My dad-my dad would kill me, he'd have me hung within the hour. I won't die, Jenna. I would rather marry a man, birth kids that I was forced to have than die a pathetic death-I'm not-I'm not dying today, nor another." Your words slipped through your clenched jaw, tears no longer watering down your face; only anger stining into your heart.
"He would never hurt a hair on your head." The Princess infront of you pleaded, her hands drawing small circles on your upper arms. You tensed away from the touch, the mear presence of her burned, it was like a thick fog was casted over you; making you unable to breath.
"I'm scared, I'm scared every day of the week, every waking moment that I breath-the fears consuming, it hurts.-" you turned your back on her, walking towards the desk that was pressed against your wall.
"I refuse to live in fear. If- if I marry him tomorrow I'll have security, I will be queen and I will essentially rule the kingdom therefore the people." You slide into the cushioned chair, sliding down into the hard wooden back of the chair. The cold, and over all hurting sensation brought some sense of peace in your heart that was turning cold quicker than you'd wish.
"You think by ruling what happens to the kingdom you'll be able to make them love you? They love you already, Princess, I love you-" The Princess promised kneeling down infront of you in a disparate attempt of holding out to something that was slipping out of her fingers.
"Tell me you don't love me, tell me you'll marry that man tomorrow with no regret in your heart and ill leave-my father has places I can leave to, I have a safe space were I can be who I truly am without the force of society burning into my soul- I know you don't have that luxury, but just tell me you don't love me." The women's eyes cracked, water still leaking from them. She looked up at you, like a puppy that had just been scolded. Her bottom lip trembled, her teeth not doing much to prevent it. Your hand reach up and wiped away the tears that flowed for your love. Her brown eyes met yours, the chocolate puddle making your whole body set aflame.
It was magical; with one single look you knew, she knew. You two would forever be each others, a secret shared between two souls that feared the unknown. Every whisper, every kiss, every glance, every everything. She was the person you moured for in the darkness of the night, she was the melody that made your heart sing, she was the breath you took everyday in order to see her dimpled smile that sent your body into an up-roar of euphoria.
"Tell me, princess Y/L/N. Say it, say you don't love me, it's okay." The girl lied to herself. She lolled her head, leaning into the warm familiar touch of your hand on her body. You smile at the sight, loving how the princess infront of you always melted due to your touch.
"I cant." You whispered back, your throat burning and aching at the thought of admitting something that wasn't true. "You know that." She shuffled forward, her knees hitting the base of your foot. She leaned up, her nose brushing against yours.
"Because you love me?" She whispered, her breath brushing into your face. You huff, rolling your eyes at her. She giggled into your neck, soon pulling away just to her that confession of yours. "You love me." She no longer questioned it, fully knowing she had you today, tomorrow and forevermore.
"Indeed, Princess. I love you." She hummed, satisfied with the outcome of the heated argument that had just taken place a few moments ago. You lean further down, assuring she didn't strain her neck.
"Do you wish I would say it back?" The women teased, her lips ghosting over your own. Your tongue darted out, damping the skin below the muscle. She looked up into your eyes once again, her eye brow raised ever so slightly. The air blew harsher in a moment, the curtain brushing into your room further.
The wind blew, the scent of Princess Ortega's desired perfume hitting you. Your lungs collapsed, a heavy groan leaving your mouth. The tension brewed in the room, a heat forming on your cheeks as the women infront of you refused to press her lips into your own.
"Princess" you groaned, leaning closer almost to the point of falling. She shuffled further back, falling onto her elbows.
You followed after her, falling onto your own knees as your leaned over her. Your hair fell down your face, falling onto her own. She giggled at the sensation, the feeling of strands of hair against her skin making her laugh.
"May I?" You pressed a kiss to her cheek, assuring she was comfortable with a kiss. The Princess drew her hands to the back of your neck, biting her lip at you.
"You never have to ask, I am yours, my queen." She mumbled, pulling you that little bit closer. Finally, after a restless about of time your lips collided into a swoon worthy kiss.
With one sudden movement the door slammed open..
-----
Dearest Y/N,
It has been far too long since we last spoke, 4 years in fact. I miss our conversation, I miss your laugh, I miss the way we loved. I miss you the most, everything about you. Its nearly your twenty second birthday, I doubt you'll get my letter; since you haven't replied to the last four. I heard you've became a mother, I'm glad your happy, I'm glad you married someone you love. I hope Damien is okay, I hope your mother enjoyed my latest letter. I no longer hate you, but it appears you still hate me. I hope you still talk about me to the moon, as I do to the ocean.
Forever yours,
Your Jenna.
You walk around your kingdom, constantly wearing a smile full of happiness. Your husband Damien- not the man you was supposed to marry, no your father backed out after an argument with your mother. Instead, you was matched with Damien, he was a hopless romantic with a boy-ish grin. He had dazzling green eyes, something you didn't used to love. He had a charming gaze, long hair that you constantly had your fingers tangled in. You fell in love, hopelessly. You once only held love for one person in your life.
Damien held a tight hold on your hand, smiling as your eyes met. He leaned closer- your heart swooned- just like it did whenever you was with Princess Ortegan.
"You look beautiful my queen." The man spoke into your ear, leaving a kiss to your jaw. You giggled, ducking into your shoulders as you blushed. He smiled, your child- Marie- was hung to his hip. You had made it a tradisation ever since you got crowned; to walk through the village, speak to your people before the anniversary of your coronation.
"Mamma." The baby cooed reaching out to hold you, Damien offered you the child, carefully placing her into your hands. The crowd around you awed at the sight of the latest royal family that was caught infront of them. The baby held your hair, loosely brushing the stands in her small hands. She nuzzled her head into your neck, seemingly tired of all of the fuss.
"Are you tired, Marie?" Damien asked, his hand brushing your shoulder. The child nodded, humming as she lolled to sleep in your embrace. You smiled to yourself, carefully walking back to the Palace were you lived; hand in hand with Damien, your daughter tucked into your chest.
-----
"You cannot be serious?" Jenna told you, a smile begging to be played on her lips. You glared at her, chewing at your nails. Jenna immediately slapped away the hand, scolding you. You huff, hiding your blush as she brushed her fingers through your hair.
"My queen." She cooed, her breath brushing over your ear. You giggled, it had just been your coronation, you was officially a queen- without a king.
"I am being serious." You chuckle, feeling Jenna press feather light kisses to your cheek. She hummed, not really paying any attention to what you was saying. You push her away ever so slightly, trying to pry yourself away from her entoxicating lips.
"You'll be a queen without a king?" She once again asked, repeating herself. You nod, exited for what your future holds. She squealed, knowing no one would be able to take you away from her.
"Are you okay my queen?" Your maid- Eliza- asked with worry in her eyes. She was the women who interrupted yours and Princess Ortegas more intimate moments. The younger women looked at you, preparing herself to fetch whatever you desired.
"Why didn't you tell." You whisper to her. You was sat on your couch, which was placed in the drawing room. She looked at you confusing, acting like you was a make-shift medus and had grown snake hair.
"The day before my 18th birthday, you walked in on me kissing Princess Ortega. Why didn't you tell me father?" You finally looked her in the eyes, the women stared at you for a moment. The girl wasn't much younger than you, maybe 21. She watched as your eyes became an ocean, as your voice swelled with tears.
"Because I knew all along, your majesty. I knew you loved Princess Ortega, I- it was just so obvious." The girl explained, her own eyes darting with sadness. You glare at the floor, thinking maybe if you stared hard enough It would create a black whole for you to fall into.
"Was we really that blinded?" You whisper, your words dying as your voice finally gave up-
"Dance with me!" Princess ortega demanded. The rain danced around the two of you, the ocean above you screaming down at the two of you. Jenna began to spin, twirling her drenched dressed around her legs. She stared at you, she reached her finger out and pried it back; urging you to give in. It had only been a few weeks since becoming Queen- you'd already been granted a break. You ran with the princess towards an old cabin on the out skirts of your kingdom, where you could be free.
The rain didn't stop, it began to pour more harshly if anything. Slamming into the dirt below your feet, the trees bent back and forth the wind causing such a fuss.
"In this weather?" You ask, pointing out the obvious problem with the literal sea pouring on you. The Princess infront of you however giggled, running over to you.
Her hands gripped your waist, her baby hairs covering her perfect face. Her lips curved into a smile, her eyes a sweet brown. She giggled once again, tilting her head to meet your lips.
You acted quick, Cupping her chilled cheeks and swayed with her. Your lips never left hers, the smell of her was consuming- fresh maple trees, with a hint of strawberries. Her breath lingered with all different types of fruits, most prominent one being raspberries.
The rain some how began to bleed faster, mocking your act of love as thunder stuck behind you. A near by tree was stricken down due to the bolt.
You and Jenna gasp into each others mouths, but that didn't pry you two apart. You carried on to dance, her fingers brushing through your hair.
"Will you love me forever?" The brunette infront of you shouted over the storm that carried on to block at every bad thought.
"Beyound forever."
Your rage seethed through your veins, your anger swolling you whole as you paced back and forth your garden. Marie was sat down on the blanket, nicely placed by Eliza. Your hands clutched unopened letters, tears burned down your cheek.
"My dear, how has your evening been?" Your husand, the love of your life, the father to your child ask. He walked up to you, wearing smart attir as he gripped your jaw; placing a forced kiss opon your lips.
"What are these?" You thrusted the letters into his open hands. He cupped the paper, shock clearly written on his face. He clenched the one letter, ripping it in half. A sudden side to the man you'd married bled through his transparent persona.
"How dare you." The man screamed, his cheeks flaming red. The letters were tucked into his closet, covered in old clothes he no longer wanted to wear.
"How dare I?" You shouted back, howling as the thought of him betraying you was still hot in your brain. Eliza quickly picked up the little girl that was sat on the green grass, walking off with your daughter.
"I am your king, you had no right to accuse me of such things." The man matched your anger, even daring to strike a swelling smack to your cheek. The smack stung, sizzling with heat as he retracked his hand.
"You're measly the man I married, the person I decided to allow to share the same bed as I. You have no rights to struck me, nor call yourself king." You seeth back. You decided to ignore the throbbing pain that ached your cheek. Damien stumbled back, staring at the floor in guilt.
"She is your past." He expressed, his words coming out unsure, they sounded more like an excuse than anything. You gripped your dress, your knuckles turning white. You knew he wasn't acting normally, he was never an aggressive man.
"She is my world. She is the reason I live, she's the poison in my oxygen, she's the ache in my heart. I loved her the moment i met her, I'll love her until the moment I die. She's with me everywhere I go, she's the shadow I chase when im alone. She's my queen, Princess Ortega is a better person than you'll ever be." You screamed, every thought, ever passing momemts; Princess Ortega was always there. She was your everything, and you couldn't bear the thought of someone keeping you away from her.
"She left you." Damien jolted your memory, remembering the night that still jolted you awake in the crack of dawn.
Damien had swept you off your feet, his stupidly dumb green eyes enchanted you to your very soul. Jenna hated him, absolute despised the man to his core. You didnt love him, he was just a friend.
Your pinky fingers were locked, walking around the ball. The close proximity of the two of you made your locked hands evaporate among the silk of your dress. She flashed you a prize winning smile, offering a hushed "you look amazing."
Your foot trembled, pushing you over ever so slightly. Your whole body lunged forward, Jenna went to reach for you but Damien was already there. He brushed your hair out of the way, flashing his stupidly cheesy grin towards you.
"Are you okay princess?" With one glance Princess Ortega had ripped herself away from you and found herself sat in between her own family.
Throughout the ball you offered her small waves, senting your smile her way. She didn't look at you once, she didn't mutter a single word to you that entire night. When Damien had worked up the courage to ask you to dance you immediately said no.
He nodded, his smile falling. Princess ortega watched, then she watched how you grabbing his hand. You pulled him to the center of the room, dancing along with the violen and cello.
Her face twisted, heat pooling in her chest. Her fingers fiddled with the hem of her dress, debating whether to leave.
"Sister, have you decided whether you'll join me?" The older Ortega boy asked, smiling apon his sister. Jenna looked at him confused, unsure of what he was implying.
"My trip to Europe, the invitation has been extending to my favourite sister." The man was met with a swift punch to his shoulder by his youngest sister. Jenna giggled sending one last look your way; You was dancing, freely without any fear. His hands were politely resting on your sides, still offering you his best smile he could muster. You laughed every time he cracked a joke, after Jenna left for Europe without another word, you accidentally fell in love.
-----
Your feet moved faster than your brain, your heart beat raced. Your eyes scattered around the familiar sight, proudly standing infront of you was Ortega manner. Your fist clamped together, knocking formally.
The old man smiled apon seeing you- randy- he offered you into the house. The warmness of a full house washed over your body, you smiled to nothing. The loudness of clattering and someone talking caught your attention, you dart towards the sound assuming it was your princess.
"Princess Y/L/N?" Mrs Ortega stumbled seeing your sudden appearance. You furrow your eyebrows at her sudden attitude, she glared at the floor. Her voice was stuck, her chest tight with the realisation of what her daughter did.
"She didn't tell you?" Your heart stopped, you could have swore you saw the grim reaper himself. Your eyes grew fuzzy as the older women explained everything. Your chest was tight, anxiety filled your heart. Unbeknownst to you, the Ortega family was fully aware of yours and their middle child's affair.
"She left me?" You gasped out, tears leaking from the source of yours eyes. She embraced you, held you as you screamed for your lost love. The news you had begged to share with Jenna died in your mind, becoming a passing thought
She had left, she has left. She was in some third world country saving the poor, of course she was. You gulped down every tear you pleaded to shed. You somehow stumbled to your feet, sending your goodbyes to Mrs Ortaga.
You fumbled with your foot, falling head first. A strong, muscular hand caught you. The man chuckled, the same man you had dance with all night.
"Prince, h-how are you?" He smiled down at you, lifting you up onto your own feet. You stood awkwardly on the pathway, staring up at the man.
"We must stop meeting like this, Miss Y/L/N." He spoke softly, you nod. If Princess Ortega hadn't have left she would have known about Damien, and how he had agreed to marry you so you and Jenna could forever be together. He shrugged a hand through his hair, awaiting your answer.
"She left." Your heart turned cold. Your eyes no longer felt the need to burn for someone who couldn't even handle one simple dance, you burned for her and she left. His face dropped, riddled with confusion.
"Why? I- I thought she loved you.." He stoked the patch of beard he had under his chin, a puzzled look on his face. You hum, not really caring to waste your breath on someone who clearly didn't care for you.
"I guess she didn't."
"Your highness!" Eliza called out, her hands clutching a bag that you had made a few moments ago. You stormed into your daughters room, collecting all the essentials you'd need to get through the days with a toddle. Marie was none the wiser, happily hung around your neck as you darted around her room.
"Help me, Eliza, I can't stay with that man." You seethed, the memory of you smacking him back and you demanding a separation still hot in your mind. She nodded, stumbling forward in hopes to grap your attention.
"When will you meet her?" Your head whipped towards the question, daggers leaving your eyes and piercing the women infront of you. You stood silent, assuming she had betrayed you too.
"You knew?"
"I- I, I assume Princess Ortega is back? That's why he was so mad? Or has he always been violent?" You release a shaken sigh, dropping your head. Your daughter began to fuss, demanding to be put down. You was scared, you couldn't stay with Damien but you also couldn't leave your daughter.
"Here." Eliza offered her help, picking up your daughter and began to play dolls with the little girl that resembled you, shockingly.
You nod, everything seeming too fast for your brain to catch on to. Your hands thrashed through Marie's things, your feet trodded across the hall towards your bedroom. You stomed around; gathering clothes, Letters, Information you'd need.
Damien was no where to be found, probably at the better end of a whiskey bottle. You found it easier that way, thanking his alcoholic demands for having such a hold on him.
"May I ask you something?" Eliza sheepishly asked, packing the final bag into the trunk of your carriage.
"Yes?"
There was a pause, an undeniable awkwardness within the cramped space. She bit her lip, nibbling ever so slightly on the skin.
"Is she worth it?"
Not even skipping a beat, not even batting an eyelash you nodded, "Yes."
Jenna was worth every tear you shed, every ache you felt, every smile you held, every laughter that bubbled out of your throat. She was the root to everything in your life, whether that be bad or good. She was always behind everything.
You hadn't read the letters yet. He had torn one, one that you hadn't had the knowledge of reading. You knew, whatever she wrote she wrote it for a reason.
"Goodbye, Queen."
"Mother has written, do you wish to know what for?" Jacob, Jenna's older brother asked whilst walking into the drawing room. Jenna hummed, her hands flipping through different pages of her book.
"Queen Y/L/N, didn't know you was leaving." The boys tone was scolding and accusing. Jenna shrank in on herself, her lip between her teeth.
"She fell out of love." She mumbled into her palm, knowing that was only half true. However it wasnt at all true.
"That's not what our mother declares." Jacob carried on. Jenna didn't give the boy the satisfaction of knowing she was dying to know what their mother had written, word for word.
"She chose him."
"She danced with him, that wasn't her declaring her undying love for that fool." Jacob retorted, throwing the paper towards his younger sister. "Shes gone mad without you."
The carriage ride was exhausting, you dreaded seeing your father. He was a strong man that turned sour with his age, he was mean and wouldn't have even cared if you told him the truth; that your husband turned abusive.
Your foot nervously bounced up and down, debating whether to read the letters, they were hundreds and you needed to read them eventually.
Tears openly flowed out of Princess Ortega's eyes, clutching the letter her mother wrote a few days prior. It had been 3 months since leaving, it was hard not to demand her brother to return home. But she suffered through the pain, hoping eventually she'd find a sense of belong; a sense she'd only even found in the arms of you.
The words bled together, her hands tearing the piece of paper into shreds.
Queen y/l/n is engaged, to be wed next week in the halls of belle. Damien was the man's name, charming, she does seem happy, Jenna-
Jenna couldn't bear to read more, her heart already broke and stomped on atleast 12 times already.
"Y/N, we've missed you." Your mother cooed, holding Marie in her hands. The baby giggled, nibbling on her pacifier. She had been teething terribly bad, to the point of tears each and every night.
"Mother, could I trouble you, I need a piece of paper and pen." Your mother nodded, asking her own maid to fetch the demanded things. You sat yourself down on your desk, the same desk that Princess ortega would write random love poems to you, the same desk were you'd kiss each night before she'd have to leave-
My dearest Jenna,
Loving you was probably the most easiest things I'd ever do in my short liven life. I loved you, I loved you until it psychically hurt. Every moon lit date, every dance among the ocean, every song you declared was ours, I always found myself loving you. But,
My love was always not taken serious by you, the constant recurrence I had to send your way just for us to have a normal day was exhausting. You was mess, a mess that I wanted. I danced with Damien because he looked so sad, I laughed at his joke because I was being polite, I stayed with him all night because we had a plan. I was going to marry him but love you, instead you decided to leave me. You left me, with nothing but empty space. I don't forgive you, I don't hate you either. Your the light in my tunnel, the air in my lungs and most famously; The Ocean to my Moon.
Damien stole your letters, I left him. He knew, I think he knew, I'd always love you no matter what.
I loved you the most when you was dancing with the rain singing without shame, I loved you when you broke down in my arms the day I told you I was marrying that old man. I never hated you, because hate was too close to love. I just stopped everything, I went numb because I'd rather lose myself than live with a life were there was no jenna.
I can only hope that we will meet again, maybe under a moon lit night were we dance once again. I'd like to kiss you before i die, maybe express how much I loved you even though you left. But I won't let myself dream anymore, it's painful. I have a daughter now, Her names Marie. I guess deep down i knew you was always the love of my life, my soul mate. She's named after you because I wanted her to be beautiful, to be strong and a fighter just like the women who was supposed to be her mother. I'll leave my seemingly long letter with that, I hope you get this my princess.
I'll love you beyond forever.
Sincerely, yours Y/N.
Jenna found it oddly surreal walking back into her childhood home. The colours were still a warm green, the lights still hung on the walls. Her younger siblings running freely among the grass outside the manner, her nieces and nephews making baby noises as her older sister chats with their mother.
She walked further into the home, sadness dwelling on her due to the fact no one noticed her appearance; she'd been gone for 4 years. Her feet softly padded into the floor, accompanying her mother as she stood on the lawn.
"Evening, Mother." She greeted the older women, smiling as the sun blared unforgiving at them. It was like the weather was controlled by Yours and Jenna's love, when the Sun was out the two of you couldn't have been further apart, when the rain poured down on the earth the two of you was probably found kissing somewhere no one would found you.
"Jenna!" The women gasped, embracing her daughter into a bone crushing hug. The two shared a few moments together, before the nagging need to find out why her daughter had suddenly came home.
"I love the welcome intrusion, but why are you here Jenna?"
Jenna wrote madly on the pieces of paper infront of her, scribbling down every ounce of love that she felt for you. Her brother watched, a scowl on his face.
"Jenna, what on earth are you doing?" The man asked, walking towards his sister in hopes to read what she was writing. The girl shooked away from him, hissing at the thought anyone but you would read what she needed to say.
"Writing."
Jenna needed to hear of you, she needed to know you was okay and that you still felt atleast something for her. She wrote every pained thought she felt, every sadned question that aired her brain. She knew you was marrying Damien, she knew you wasn't hers anymore. But still, the thought of you forgetting her was enough to drive her into insanity.
Word after word, page turned into pages until she finally had a book.
Jenna stared at her mother's question, she found herself wearing a smile mixed with blush.
"Queen Y/L/N, replied."
————–
Eliza carefully tied the lace on your corset. The annual ball was today, the anniversary of your coronation. You impatiently bounced your left foot, chewing on your nail like you did many years prior. But things were different. Next to you, as beautiful as ever stood your daughter. And there wasn't no Jenna to push away your bad habits.
"I'm dreadfully tired." You mumbled, hoping you could excuse yourself early to the party. Even though you was still well into your youth, days always seemed to drag. Eliza hummed, her hands dragging once up your whole back before leaving the corset with that.
The dress was soon fitted, sliding down your frame. You smiled at yourself, seeing what stood infront of the mirror. You may not have achieved much in your life, but you was sure as hell proud to be able to call Maria your daughter. She was playing quietly in the corner of your bedroom, fiddling with letters Princess Ortega made you when you two were only girls.
"All done, Queen."
—————
As always, your night was dreadfully long. It was brain numbing to be witness of the true mindless People of your country. The Ortega family arrived late, Jenna a no show like the current balls your family had held.
You sometimes caught yourself wondering if Europe was all it seemed to be. Surely it wasn't that interesting to invest years of your life to travel it.
In your pitiful state, you felt the damness of the atmosphere shift; water began to positively pour down into your kingdom, drouding out all thought that casting into your soured mind. Jenna getting lost during the rain, forgetting every pained image you had of her. Your feet dangled off the edge of the hill, below it was a drop worthy enough to kill. You often spent your evenings casted to witness the wildlife that traveled through the vally like state. Along side the hill stood a tree, the same tree that held many feelings in your heart.
Your bear feet had trickles of water droplets falling off them, along with the edge of your jaw and tip of your nose. It was enough to bring a mad person to sanity, the feeling of rain falling onto your tensed shoulders.
Everything was corrupted with the sound of the rain, the weather suddenly growing harsh and unforgiven with each moment you stayed painfully unaware of the brunette who chased down each and every one of your staff in hopes to find your whereabouts.
"Have you seen the Queen?" Jenna breathed out, her pants clouding her speech ever so slightly. The man that cooked you dinner shrugged, not really caring for the women infront of him. A strained groan left the princesses lips, clutching her hands together with a sob. You hadn't realised the time that drifted, it had been two hours since you left your own party.
Jenna left the kitchen, sprinting to your bedroom. Funny enough, almost like time had stopped all together when Jenna entered your bedroom eveything was the same. Everything in the same place, the only different was the sleeping girl that laid in the mist of your pillows and blankets.
Jenna gasped, her heart exploding. She was identical to you when you was a just a child, her hair scattered across the pillow and cheeky plushed.
"Princess Ortega" Eliza bumped chest with the frantic girl infront of her. Jenna was untameble, her eyes wide like a serial killer. She panted, her lungs seizing at the thought of being too late.
"Where- where is she? Where's my Y/N?" Your name rolled off her tongue, like it was meant to be. She wasn't ashamed to show her face anymore, she wasn't paralysed with crippling jealousy like she used to be. She wanted what's rightfully herself, she came for a reason and every moment of her passing years dragged all due to one reason. You was no where to be seen, you became a stranger and she'd be damned if your love story didn't end with the two of you hopefully in love with no fear in your heart and a house fill of laughter.
"Shes- she never told me. She said she's leaving to her safe space." Eliza stuttered, shifting on her feet at the sudden desperation that stormed Jenna's features.
Jenna didn't reply, she hurried off. Her feet slammed, claiming down onto the carpeted wooden floor, she barged past people ignoring their cries of ignorance. They didn't know why princess Ortega was harshly running through the halls, nor why she was in such a panic.
Jenna finally stumbled towards the tree where you and her first kissed. You two was 16, she had finally admit her deepest secret that led to you sharing yours.
"I..I think I'm in love you." Jenna sheepishly admit, her face a blushing mess. The moon lit night did wonders for her beauty, the moon truly reflection the astonishing view she could be. You was so caught up with her freckled nose that you almost forgot to reply.
Your confession was caught in your lips. Jenna was sat infront of you, waiting for an answer. She was smiling, almost like she knew you was desperately in love with her too. It was obvious, the love you two shared wasn't a secret. It was painfully clear to anyone with a sense of mind, no friends long for one another like you and jenna did.
"I know I love you Jenna. There isn't a doubt in my mine, you're my ocean." Confidence washed over you, your chest growing in size with the amount of oxygen you took in as you breathe.
Jenna giggled, her hand dragging closer to your cheek. She cupped your face ever so slightly, placing the other on the floor to stabilise her. She leaned forward, scared to fully commit the sin she wanted to destroy.
"Kiss me."
The way Jenna ran towards the moon lit tree was supernatural, she didn't stop when a seizing pain took over her lower stomach. She treded through the untamed grass, storming faster when she saw the faint sign of someone sitting down by the hill.
"Y/N!" Jenna howled, her words echoing through the air. She shuffled, huffing out in pain when the shadow didn't turn around. Biting down on her lip she ran faster, her thighs burning and the bottom of her dress tearing.
"Y/N!" The grass sqelched below her, the mud splattered up the better half of her legs. She ignored the uncomfortable feeling off the thick muck intruding her skin, knowing you was only a few minutes away.
Just as God frowned down on the two of you, the weather began to grow worse. God upping his game, the rain began to pound, slamming into Jenna's skin leaving harsh marks in result. The rain turned into thick clumps of ice, then a shed of hailstones. A sharp enough peice of ice slashed the cheek of Jenna, she hissed holding the skin as blood began to trickle down her flesh.
"Queen!"
Thunder crashed down on the tree standing right beside you. Your body jolted awake, the lighting scaring the life out of you. Your hand clamped around the fabric around your chest, breathing becoming labored and strained.
"Holy-" Your whole body was forced side ways, your arms swinging ever so slightly. You gasped, someone coming into contact with your face. The strangers hands cupped your cheeks, forcing you to look at them.
Standing infront of you, as beautiful as ever stood your Jenna. She was wearing a shy smile, her hair stuck to her head. The water droplets dribble down her face, leaving her a mess that sent yout into a coma. She was ethereal, extremely elegant.
The years you'd spent apart felt like nothing anymore, like the gap in history was drawn out of proportion and it hadn't been four years but a mear few days. Jenna looked exactly the same, maybe even gain more worshipable freckles that would add to your on going count.
"Princess Ortega-" Your words were muffled, Jenna's lips crashing into yours. The lack of people around left the both of you reckless, a slave to the desire that drilled into your bodies at the lack of being near each other in far too long.
"You once promised me that you'd love me forever." Jenna gasped, the lack of air still evident with her struggle with breathing. Her hand never left your face, determined to keep you as close as possible.
"I believe I said beyond forever." You reminded her, smiling with the same cocky over confident smirk that made Jenna want to rip your head off. Instead of rolling her eyes, slapping your arm or even straight up leaving like she once did after seeing the sight she pulling you closer to her. Her lips crashed into yourself, your hands finally coming to life to hold her face too.
"Do you intend to keep your promise?" Jenna asked, pulling away from your lips. A stern groan left yours, a plead of objection.
"Only if you intend to extend the same sentiment my way."
She smiled, both of you giggling like it was second nature. The weather was yet to seize, only growing more fearful.
"I'll love you until humanity crumbles and the sun explodes into nothing."
The Ocean will always have its Moon. And you will always have your Jenna
#jenna ortega#jennaortega#lgbt#scream#tara carpenter#Lorraine day#xmovie#wlw#gxg#jenna ortega x fem#jenna ortega x you#lesbian#bi#Spotify
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Oh my god Inky, is Kylar's spirit animal Kermit from Jenna Marbles
DON'T DO MY- yeah. drooling and shaking and procreating at the park. ah, what a creation
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Is today the day I decided to fuck with my hair, let's find out.
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Jenna Marbles is a chaotic good entity and I’m glad she’s out there living her best life
#jay talking#jenna marbles#i respect her free spirit and williningness to do whatever the fuck she wants
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I'm sure you've probably spoken about this before but how do you feel about Rei x Minako? If you ship them, do you have any headcanons or anything? What about favorite canon moments?
Um, yes, I'm a big supporter of Reinako, lol. They're actually one of my favorite ships ever!
I absolutely love the ship and really wish it got more focus in the 90s anime (which gives much more focus to the Rei x Usagi relationship), but thankfully the manga and PGSM pick up the slack. I think Minako's wackiness is a great contrast to Rei as the straight (wo)man, but they make a great dynamic duo when Minako gets serious and takes up her position as the leader (as seen in the Stars arc of the manga).
Some headcanons/general thoughts:
Some names I've come up for the ship are things like Burning Love, All's Fair in Love and War, etc.
They take turns being the little spoon when they cuddle.
One of my favorite AUs I've come up with is where Minako is a famous influencer/YouTuber (I envision her with major Jenna Marbles energy). Rei appears in her videos, is beloved by her fanbase, and there are all sorts of memes about her.
Friday night at the Aino/Hino household is Bad Movie Night, where they watch and roast shitty movies. The rest of the Senshi have an open invitation to drop by and participate.
One of their favorite intimate activities is brushing each other's hair, especially since they both have such long and beautiful locks.
Artemis actually the one who encouraged Minako to ask Rei out, a fact he lords over her constantly.
I see both Rei and Minako as bisexual rather than lesbians, since they've both shown interest in men before (well, to be more specific manga!Rei might a biromantic asexual... she definitely gives me major ace vibes in the manga)
Favorite canon moments:
The entire side story chapter in the manga where Minako goes to TA Academy and makes an ass out of herself before ultimately saving Rei from a spirit.
That iconic chapter from Stars where Minako and Rei partner up, share a lot of deep moments together, and then tell the Starlights they don't need men.
When they narrate a baseball game together during the Stars season of the anime.
It's been years since I've seen PGSM, but I do remember there's one episode where Rei poses as an idol (I think her stage name was Reiko Mars or something?) and Minako helped her along.
Another PGSM moment is (SPOILERS) when Rei breaks down crying after Minako succumbs to her illness and dies. I also love when she takes up Venus's weapon and dual-wields daggers in the final battle.
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Certainly, there are legitimate reasons to criticize cancel culture - such as, in the grand scheme of things, it’s very unhelpful. It gives people an excuse to bully others while hiding behind a good cause. Also, it hurts those who are generally good-hearted… but are imperfect, or hold an unpopular view on a contentious subject. Contrarily, those who are actually mean-spirited and pride themselves on being as offensive as possible… Well, cancel culture doesn’t even work on those folks! In fact, they’ll just continue saying whatever they wanna say. They don’t care about trying to appease anyone. Hence, even if not for any other reason, the best reason to oppose cancel culture is that it never even works on those who… who actually do need to rethink their views.
Now, with that said, all these… alt-right folks on Twitter… who are constantly rambling about cancel culture with regard to Jenny Slate, Jenna Marbles, or The Dixie Chicks… Well, I don’t think these folks even really know what cancel culture is… or truly understand just why cancel culture is harmful… or understand that individuals choosing to alter certain things about their image in order to be more sensitive… Well, that’s not even really cancel culture.
Now, do I necessarily agree that those changes needed to be made? Not exactly! But it doesn’t really matter what *I* think! What’s more important is that they’re doing what *they* believe needs to be done! To my knowledge, I’m really not aware of any of the aforementioned individuals engaging in cancel culture. I’ve not seen Jenny Slate, Jenna Marbles, or any of The Dixie Chicks cancel anyone else for… uh, being problematic. They’ve only made changes regarding their own images, and that is perfectly fine!
So, please, if you’re gonna criticize cancel culture… then you should be knowledgeable of what exactly cancel culture is, and also… be able to pinpoint why it is that cancel culture is harmful. Don’t just be… uh, mindlessly throwing that phrase around and using it simply to… rant about how you just don’t like people being sensitive towards the needs of others. When you do that, you’re… uh, being just as unhelpful as the proponents of cancel culture themselves are. In other words, you are being just like those folks that you complain about.
So, please, as someone who is a fervent critic of cancel culture myself… stop making my side look bad! Please, I beg of you!
Jimmy Reed, Understanding Nuances in Cancel Culture Discourse
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73 questions.
I was tagged by @halseyassthetics and @anf-stuff
I tag @feeblej0y @savemeyourfprayers @imhalseymusic @corditeandshrapnel @twinzmoon @peacelovehalseytaylor and anyone else who wants to join!
On a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now?
5, i was looking forward to a lot of things that have now been cancelled :(
Describe yourself in a hashtag?
#annoyedsensitivebaby
If you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be?
probably halsey let’s be honest
If your life was a musical, what would the marquee say?
she’s trying her best!
What’s one thing people don’t know about you?
my sister and i are two years apart but we share the same bday
What’s your wakeup ritual?
i turn off my alarms one after the other + wake up 2 hours later than planned
What’s your favorite time of day?
10pm-2am because it’s my chill time with myself
Your go to for having a good laugh?
watching jenna marbles, anya, or jackie aina
Dream country to visit?
the u.k. because i was supposed to go this summer but it was cancelled :( (also japan!)
What’s the biggest surprise you’ve had?
being so sad about missing the one direction tour in 2013 but my parents surprised me with tickets :’) it was my first concert + i got to see 5sos as well
Heels or flats/sneakers?
my converse or docs
Vintage or new?
both but vintage is cooler
Who do you want to write your obituary?
no clue
Style icon?
harry mf styles
What are three things you can’t live without?
music, movies/shows, and family
What’s one ingredient you put in everything?
pepper
What 3 people living or dead would you like to make dinner for?
that is a loaded question even if i were willing to make dinner lmao
What’s your biggest fear in life?
not finding satisfaction for myself
Window or aisle seat?
window
What’s your current TV obsession?
atypical (2 out of 3 seasons done)
Favorite app?
spotify
Secret talent?
no clue
Most adventurous thing you’ve done in your life?
definitely going to concerts last minute which i’ve done a couple times
How would you define yourself in three words?
empathetic, conflicting, creative
Favourite piece of clothing you own?
probably sizzy rocket’s old jacket
Must have clothing item everyone should have?
a band t-shirt i mean c’mon
Superpower you would want?
shape shifting
What’s inspiring you in life right now?
books! i’ve picked up reading again and missed it so much. i’m also finding a lot of inspiration through music and pinterest.
Best piece of advice you’ve received?
my mom has reminded me that i need to look out for myself, even though it is my nature to please everyone else. i’m going to be with me the rest of my life, so why make myself suffer?
Best advice you’d give your teenage self?
don’t be a fucking pushover and let others make decisions for you. be ok with who you are and don’t feel bad about yourself when people don’t understand.
A book that everyone should read?
so you want to talk about race by ijeoma oluo
What would you like to be remembered for?
being kind and loving life, also my art
How do you define beauty?
embracing your true, authentic self
What do you love most about your body?
my eyes and my hair when it behaves
Best way to take a rest/decompress?
watch a show, make some tea, or read
Favourite place to view art?
in a museum/gallery
If your life were a song, what would the title be?
clementine by halsey
If you could master one instrument, what would it be?
guitar *my guitar glares at me where it’s been in the corner for months*
If you had a tattoo, where would it be?
arm
Dolphins or koalas?
dolphins but i also love koalas
What’s your spirit animal?
dragon (my chinese zodiac, my school mascot, and my fav mythical animal)
Best gift you’ve ever received?
my record player
Best gift you’ve ever given?
i’m bad at remembering these but i guess any art i made
What’s your favourite board game?
cards against humanity (i’m counting it as a board game lmao)
What’s your favourite colour?
blue
Least favourite colour?
orange
Diamonds or pearls?
diamonds
Drugstore makeup or designer?
uh designer if i could afford it
Blow-dry or air-dry?
air dry when i’m lazy but blow dry if i’m going somewhere
Pilates or yoga?
neither
Coffee or tea?
coffee but ily tea
What’s the weirdest word in the English language?
there’s too many
Dark chocolate or milk chocolate?
dark chocolate
Stairs or elevator?
stairs if it’s only a flight or two + elevator when i’m at my school apartment where i live on the 7th floor
Summer or winter?
summer
You are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat?
bread
A dessert you don’t like?
if it has raisins i don’t want it or any dried fruit for that matter
A skill you’re working on mastering?
working through my feelings because whew she’s a lot, she being me
Best thing to happen to you today?
i made some bomb chocolate chip cookies
Best compliment you’ve ever received?
a couple people have said i’m a good friend which i value a lot
Favourite smell?
lavender
Hugs or kisses?
hugs
If you made a documentary, what would it be about?
music
Last piece of content you consumed that made you cry?
watching atypical
Lipstick or lip gloss?
lip gloss
Sweet or savoury?
both
Girl crush?
which one??
How you know you’re in love?
idk you tell me
Song you can listen to on repeat?
my number 1 on repeat rn is forever... (is a long time) by halsey
If you could switch lives with someone for a day who would it be?
zendaya because she’s probably the coolest person alive
What are you most excited about at this time in your life?
spending time with my family and my dog, it’s all i can really do i guess
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if you could get zayn to do a 10 minute vlog on any topic, what would it be? obviously, the number one choice would be music, but what would your second choice be?
Fkldk ohhhh my stars anon this is such a mean question 😂😂 How can I decide??? But it’s also such a good one and just the idea of Zayn talking for 10 minutes straight fills my soul with peace wow!!!!!
Okay so I was honestly gonna cheat and come up with a minute-by-minute breakdown of all the things I want to experience him talking about/doing in 10 minutes (cooking! drawing! shopping! horticulture-ing!) lmao but I’m actually gonna follow the rules!
Tbh I would love to see him in any kind of Jenna Marbles-esque video because being able to watch Zayn create anything would be unbelievable but to see him do it while being goofy and jokey and laughing the whole time would shoot me into outer space????
So in that vein and since I’m in the ~holiday spirit~ I’m saying Halloween!!!! And by that I’m proposing
Entire history of Zayn’s past looks
Making/curating his own costume + backstory on why he chose it
Makeup tutorial???
Would love to see him in a haunted house but only if it’s his thing
Spooky song medley
Costume reveal!
Bonus: pet costume construction & modeling for every single animal in his household
Lol anyway like you said, music would be an amazing choice! (Songwriting was the first thing that came to my mind too!) And there are so many other more serious and/or revealing topics he could really dig into, but I think more than anything I’d love to watch him be creative in a way we don’t get to see much. And 10 minutes of Zayn giggling and happy is exactly what the world needs right now!!!!!
Thanks for the great question and for stopping by!!! xx
#anon you really made me think on a friday night but i forgive you!!!!!!! lol such a good q#that video of him doing tie dye came to mind and he seemed so giddy doing it i feel like he'd be so fun to watch!!#also the jenna marbles video where she does the bratz challenge with her bf is one of my favorite things ever so if zayn would like to#recreate that then i'm here for that lol#answered ask#anon
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🌟🎁💎💛🎨🐧🐵💫🎀👻💗 -cat
🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!)
I like being pretty smart? It’s sometimes annoying in the way of “ignorance is a blessing”, you know? But I learn stuff quickly, I hardly ever had trouble understanding stuff, in general, I feel like I’m quite smart or I just think I am, without being pretentious. The only time I remember someone ever acting annoyed like I was being a smart-ass was my then BFF in high school but I was kind of lecturing her for getting in trouble in a stupid way. Also, most of the time when someone tells me “oh you’re really smart!” I’m like akhdskjds n-no wtf. I also have a good memory, which I don’t like to put in the same category as being smart because you could recite an entire book from memory without having any clue of what it really says, what it means, etc. just knowing stuff doesn’t equal being intelligent, you could say it’s just like being a parrot repeating what you heard someone else say but it’s useful to remember lots of things. I kind of get annoyed when people say “oh you’re smart” just because I know things that I’m able to remember if that makes sense? Like it’s not knowledge I’ve produced, I take some pride in being able to have this big library in my head but that doesn’t make me smart, I didn’t create this, I didn’t write these books? Anyway, all this stuff aside, I have GREAT hair, I’ve always had really amazing hair and I’ve hardly ever done anything to achieve this magnificent mane which is pretty annoying to many people I’ve met that ask me what hair products I use. The same way I take personal offense when people are like ‘i dont exercise and I can eat whatever I want without getting fat lol’. The times I thought well maybe I should take better care of it were the times it probably looked worse so I honestly find it better to just let it grow, cut the tips once a year or even less, DO NOT WASH YOUR HAIR EVERY DAY, once or twice a week is enough. I know the process of going “more natural” is greasy but then your head gets used to it and your scalp won’t feel greasy even if you spend 5 days without washing your hair. Or at least in my case, but I’ve read many people say the same so idk, I’m not a hair expert, I can’t take a lot of credit for my hair, I’ve been lucky with it lol
🎁 what never fails to make you happy?
Animals, my pets especially make me very happy unless they are blatantly ignoring me. Sleeping is usually a very good one too, but not always because of the nightmares and stress dreams. Watching Jenna Marbles’ videos I think never fails to make me laugh.
💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why?
Well, I could use a lot more wealth than I currently have, I think it’s obvious why: we live in a shitty world and money rules over us. From the first answer, I guess you could tell i think quite highly about my current levels of intelligence lol beauty is relative, I sometimes think I’m the ugliest creature to ever walk on this goddamned earth, other times I think I’m just a normal person and at the rarest times I’m like “hey, I actually look pretty good!” so idk, I could be the most beautiful person to current beauty standards and I’d probably still feel the same. Kindness? I don’t think I’m a bad person either so I don’t think I’d need more. I could also use more bravery in my life but if I had more money I could probably get better therapy and hopefully those therapists would help me overcome my fears. I don’t need to be fearless, that usually leads to recklessness, being afraid isn’t bad per se but have crippling fears so I just need to overcome that and then it’s over for you bitches
💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?
I have no clue. I sometimes think of what I could’ve done better, had I known how things turned out but I only know what happened to me in this time-line. Life doesn’t offer binary life choices. It’s not a “you picked this, then this happened, if you had picked the other option then the opposite would have occurred”, I don’t know if there’s a message I could’ve received when I was younger to prevent me from becoming suicidal, I don’t know if that was always in me? So I can’t think of a message to my younger self that’d genuinely helped me in a way I’d like so I think it’s better not to say anything.
🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?
Hmm, mostly simple shaped like hearts or stars if it’s like idle doodling but if I’m putting a little bit of thought into it I doodle pokémon or just try to come up with human poses that don’t look too weird
🐧 describe yourself in 3 words
These are the kind of questions that kill me (with favorites or picking top3 etc) ‘cause as you can see I’m not very good at keeping stuff simple and concise. Let’s see: moody, convoluted, whatever.
🐵 which quotes changed you?
I don’t think there’s one. There are quotes that I like but I don’t think anything “changed me” since I can’t think of any life-changing revelations lol I supposed that if there was one it’d come to my mind immediately
💫 who inspires you?
The only person that comes to my mind for these kinds of questions is Jenna Marbles. I’ve been following her for years and I think she’s beautiful inside and out, extremely funny and smart but also kinda weird.
🎀 what’s your fashion sense like?
I don’t even know how to describe it, I just wear clothes
👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?
I guess I do, maybe spirits but not ghosts in the sense of a floating semi-transparent shape of a person that once lived but now is around you in your house making scary noises and making stuff fall? I believe in immortal souls but I have no idea how they are, what they look like, or what they do once the body is dead. Why? Because it’s kind of sad and a bit scary to think that our bodies are all there is of us.
💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?
Probably my BFF Luby who I haven’t actually met irl but I do love her, she’s like the little sister I never had
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Top 10 Jenna Marble Go To Videos
These are all my personal rewatch value kinda videos which means I can sit back and watch, listen, or even sleep too if I feel like it.
Why I picked these ones, in particular, is because of how much it shows Jenna’s personality her humor and generally what I like seeing from her
10. Teaching My Dogs How To Swim - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olONgK_CxG4&t=69s
>Favorite aspect of this is her enjoying spending time with her dogs and caring for them
9. Double Drag Makeup - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmyKv-v9iyQ
>Julian and her work off one another so well it’s hilarious with how different they end up looking.
8. Transforming Myself Into My Dog - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ag6Xj26WBf8
> Simply “Don’t talk to me or my son ever again” enough said.
7. Reacting To Compilation Videos of Me - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNs9IZAeFQU&t=660s
Reacting To Compilation Videos of Me 2 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMn3p7hhMew
Reacting To Compilation Videos of Me 3 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74EDvTEhqtE&t=613s
> Cheat for a 3-way tie cause if I watch one of these I watch them all. They just go hand and hand for the same setup and still hilarious outcome since they are looking at the edits the community has presented.
6. I Made That Awful Jean Chair - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2McDQu5UQpk&t=512s
> She is so determined and frustrated in this I feel for her spite so much. Also, she kept roasting X”D
5. Shaving My Eyebrows - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZngynzkNQ0
> I mean I relate to it on so many levels I would do exactly what she did in this. Just provoke me.
4. How To Care For Your Cermet - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1QOAd6o0C0
> This is a classic and explains the endless meme of Cermet at his finest
3. Cutting And Coloring My Own Hair 2 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZOyzi4W-wg
> A perfect sequel to follow up from the first and proves that if you leave her alone she will find a way to entertain herself XD
2. Cutting And Coloring My Own Hair - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EWZyU_mXf4&t=101s
> She is my spirit animal go away
1. Reading Mean Comments About My Dogs - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRbHTeAcJLQ
Reading Mean Comments About My Dogs 2 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPpBz9x6a6I
> Again can’t watch one without the other. I beg for a 3ed one cause this is the content I signed up for and I have watched these more than I ever should have but you know what??? It makes me laugh and really were the first videos to get me back into watching Jenna and now here we are as I bother friends with the beauty that is she.
Mostly @othervio
she puts up with a lot from em
I still believe in me
#Jenna Marbles#ted talk#top 10#no one cares#but this was fun#Vio was curious so that's what drove me to make this#yes I am easily provoked go away
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tag game
i was tagged by @literalite, ty seph babie!!!
1— dogs or cats? i’ve always been a dog person, my mom is allergic to cats, and i might also be allergic
2— youtube celebrities or normal celebrities? uhhhhhhhhhhhh
3— if you could live anywhere where would that be? tbh i really like the place i live in! but i would really love to live in another country for a bit
4— disney or dreamworks? vomit emoji
5— favorite childhood tv show? victorious was my jam, i can’t rlly think of many other shows rn
6— the movie you’re looking forward to most in 2020? tbh i don’t watch many movies, so i’m not really excited for any movies in 2020, but i’m excited for a few shows!!!
7— favorite book you read in 2019? the shiver series by maggie shssiesesleskhvishvueej
8— marvel or dc? neither. don’t like that stuff
9— if you chose marvel favorite member of the x-men? If you chose dc favorite justice league member? i.. no. vomit emoji
10— night or day? probably day, i tend to feel sadder at night
11— favourite pokémon? i was never able to play pokemon as a kid so i don’t know any pokemons. all i know is that yellow rat bitch
12— top 5 bands? i don’t really listen to bands tbh, i mostly only listen to single artists (i’ve woken up just recently so im sorry for my dumb brain)
13— top 10 books? that’s too many. no
14— top 4 movies? across the universe, bohemian rhapsody, howl’s moving castle, spirited away
15— america or europe? i mean??? i live in america, so i guess america. it sucks though
16— tumblr or twitter? i don’t use twitter, so tumblr
17— pro-choice or pro-life? pro-choice. like seph said, it’s literally almost 2020
18— favourite youtuber? bestdressed, philip defranco, and jenna marbles
19— favourite author? no.
20— tea or coffee? coffee. i’m addicted to coffee.
21— otp? my boyfriend and i but right now he makes me want to vomit
22— do you play an instrument/sing? tbh i can only sing, i can barely play the ukulele
idk who to tag tbh. go ahead and do this if you want
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601.
How long has loneliness been your friend?
>> So, before I take this survey, let me just say that someone should check on joybucket @ bzoink dot com because... oof. That being said, she makes some of the more interesting surveys so I’ma try taking this one anyway...
Loneliness is something I’m learning to live with, and not try to solve all the time. I feel more stressed out when I try to fix it or bury it than if I just... sit with it, and let it exist. After all, I’ve felt lonely on-and-off for most of my life, I know the feeling isn’t going to destroy me. No point in being afraid of it.
When was the last time you remember not being lonely?
>> I mean, I don’t feel lonely right now. It’s not a constant feeling, it comes and goes as it pleases.
How many guys have attempted to rape you?
>> I think I’ll skip that.
When was the last time a cop committed a crime against you?
>> Never. Thankfully. Trying to get justice against a police officer is like, literally fucking impossible in this country.
Who was the last person you missed?
>> ---
Who is the last person you heard about who died in a car accident?
>> I... uh, I don’t know? Probably someone on the news.
Have you ever lost a best friend in a car accident?
>> No.
Have you ever had a woman try to seduce you sexually?
>> Sure.
Do you ever pretend to not be so alone, or are you honest about it?
>> I’m honest about it to myself, but I don’t go telling other people about it. That would make me uncomfortable and probably just intensify the feeling.
Are you wearing leggings right now?
>> Nope. (Also, lmao, the mood switch...)
Do you wish you had a new pair of fuzzy pajamas?
>> Nah. I mean, I love fuzzy pajamas, but I can’t wear them. I get too hot. :(
When was the last time you went to church?
>> Easter.
Do you wish there were a good church in your town?
>> There are multiple progressive, service-oriented, open-and-affirming churches in this city.
Do you wish you lived in a Christian bubble?
>> I sure don’t.
What is your favorite Avril Lavigne song?
>> I don’t have one.
Who are five of your favorite down-to-earth singers?
>> I don’t know what a down-to-earth singer is.
Is your hair messed up?
>> Nah.
Do you wish you could let your anger show, and not hold it in?
>> I have no reason to want to vent my anger to other people. It’s really not productive.
Why do you hold in your anger?
>> I don’t hold it in so much as I just... keep it to myself. I process it internally, not externally. Any time I try processing it externally, people (me or others) and/or objects get hurt/broken.
Name someone who sexually harassed or abused you. Have you ever told anyone about this? If not, do you want to? Do you fear that no one would believe you?
>> I’m not going to name him. I’ve told multiple people about it. At least two of them did not believe me, and treated me either like a liar or like someone making a big deal out of nothing.
What's one thing you hate about being a woman?
>> I’m not a woman. One thing I hate about society is that I have to be called one.
Do you wish you could be yourself without restraint?
>> I am myself. Any restraint I employ is for good reason (like, you know, not being hurtful or needlessly disruptive), not because I feel pressured to stifle myself.
Name one good person you know.
>> Meh.
Who would you like to talk to ?
>> A good listener.
Was your last crush a good person, or a heartbreaker?
>> ---
Have you ever had a crush like you back and be with you?
>> Hm.
Have you ever told someone you had a crush on them?
>> Sure.
Has anyone ever tried to force you to pretend you were suicidal, so they could get money?
>> No??? This is... a really unfathomable situation for me. I need some more context.
Who do you wish you could trust? Name one person.
>> ---
Has anyone ever accused you of being gay, then tried to seduce you?
>> No.
Would you be more open about your faith if it weren't for persecution?
>> ---
Do you dream about being loved?
>> No.
Who do you love? Name one person .
>> Can Calah.
Do you wish your parents loved you?
>> Yeah, I really do, actually.
Would you be ok if your parents loved you?
>> I mean, I don’t know how much of my life that would change, but it sure would be nice.
Why does everyone hate you?
>> I don’t know anyone that hates me. If they do, it’s not my problem.
Do you stand up to bullies, or give in to them?
>> The last time I was bullied was so long ago that I can’t even fathom what bullying would look like in my present life.
Do you think it's ok to last out at someone when you're angry?
>> No, I don’t.
Why are you so nice?
>> I’m not, though.
Do you realize that most people taking this survey are probably living in a bubble?
>> I don’t believe that at all and I’m not sure why you do.
Do you know anyone who's not selfish?
>> Most people I know are a pretty logical mix of self-serving and other-serving. Then some other people are more other-serving than self-serving, to a harmful degree.
Do you know any true Christian women? Women who aren't selfish or rude?
>> Sigh...
When was the last time you had a hug? Can you remember how many years it's been?
>> I don’t mean to be glib, but like... I’m almost amused at the sheer pathos in this survey. Anyway, uh. I get hugs a lot inworld and it’s nice.
When was the lsat time you switched doctors? and do you like your new one?
>> ---
Have you ever overdosed?
>> I’ve tried.
Do you wish all the people who have tried to kill you would get caught?
>> I don’t think anyone’s tried to kill me, although one person did threaten it. I wish he’d gotten caught for multiple things he’s done to me, but that’s water under the bridge now.
Who was the last couple that you'd expect to get divorced (that did)?
>> ---
Who was the last person that you'd expect to turn on you (that did)?
>> ---
Name a church that just wants your money.
>> I mean, I’m sure I don’t know.
What's the last church you left because of the way you were treated?
>> ---
How bad do you want a mother?
>> Sometimes I want one really badly, but most of the time I’m accustomed to the fact that I’ve never had one and I never will.
Do you pretend that you don't want a mother?
>> I’m sure I did when I was younger, but I’m past pretending at this point. It’s just not as relevant anymore.
Do you wish you could afford make-up that wouldn't get ruined when you cry?
>> This just makes me think of Jenna Marbles, I’m sorry.
What was the last church you loved that closed down?
>> None, but the church down the road from us, where we go to Christmas and Easter services (and where I used to go when I was trying out Christianity again for the last time) got a new pastor and I’m mad lmao. I liked the old one!!!
Who was the last friend that betrayed you?
>> ---
Name 6 people who have tried to kill you.
>> Six??????
Do you think calling gossip "tea" is stupid?
>> I really do not, and I don’t want to talk to anyone who thinks like this.
Who told you that reaching out to friends for support when you're grieving a loss is a sin? and is this person a leader at a church?
>> You know, out of all the surprising-sounding things in this survey, this is the least-surprising. Christianity is full of horror stories and this just fits right in. (But no, I’ve never been told this.)
Do Avril Lavigne songs speak to you?
>> I mean, I just don’t listen to Avril Lavigne, so I haven’t had the opportunity to find out if any of her songs speak to me.
Do you hate being poor?
>> Sometimes I do, most of the time I deal with it with as much dignity as I can manage.
Were you bullied at youth group?
>> Not to my recollection.
Which church has the biggest bullies?
>> ---
Who lied to the police about you because they were mad at you?
>> (The way these are worded, it’s like these are common occurrences? ... Are they? I need more people to take this survey.)
Do you trust any of your firends on facebook?
>> Most of the people I have added on facebook (you know, all 20 or whatever) are people I trust in at least some capacity. Not necessarily the full capacity, but like... enough, I guess.
Are you a healer?
>> No.
Do you have supernatural gifts?
>> I have whatever I have.
Does anyone appreciate you?
>> Sure.
What would you like to tell someone?
>> Meh.
Do you look your age?
>> According to popular opinion, I look younger.
Are you sleepy?
>> No.
Do you hallucinate?
>> Not unless I’ve taken something that makes me hallucinate.
Have you ever seen a spirit?
>> Maybe.
Can you see spirits?
>> Doubtful.
What do you want for Christmas?
>> Money.
What's something the Lord healed you of?
>> He hasn’t healed me of anything. We don’t have that kind of relationship.
Do you wish you didn't have to keep your faith a secret? and that you weren't persecuted?
>> ---
Do you wish you were loved?
>> Hmm.
Do you pretend you don't want to be loved?
>> I used to, when I thought that was the way to protect myself.
Can remember how many years it's been since someone loved you?
>> It hasn’t been that long.
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welcome 2 my twisted mind ex dee !!
PREFERRED NAME — james :o)
PRONOUNS — she/they
AGE — 20 whole years i am aging rapidly
PINTEREST — HERE!
DISCORD — sniff#3644
TUMBLR (PERSONAL/MUSE/RPH) — svrgcnts is my muse / rph except im rly lazy n don’t do shit
OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE — i like the attention on twitter but i’d prefer 2 b im’d for that ,,, it’s got my Face on it ,,,
MYER-BRIGGS — istp or w/e the fuck ,,, used to be infp or smth tho
HP HOUSE — i ,,, i don’t know ,,, i always get a different answer ,,, u tell me
ZODIAC — [burps] aquarius
DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY? — no ... ? like ... it’s just a fun ol’ thing but i don’t base my life around it ... i won’t scorn u if ur a gemini or smth
HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU STARTED RPING ON TUMBLR — uhh ... 19 i think ?? off tumblr it’s been a whole decade tho
WHAT YEAR WAS IT? — 2018 :/
NAME A RANDOM ROLEPLAY THAT STICKS OUT IN YOUR MEMORY — it was a closed group but we had an rp based out in the desert / loosely based on killjoys where ppl would build big ol’ robots and fight them in an arena n it was like ... dystopian. i had a gal named uuuhhh ... nora maybe ?? her granddad was the local fortune teller n she was one of the engineers
WHAT WEIRD ANIMAL WOULD YOU HAVE AS A PET IF IT WAS REALISTIC — are raccoons that far off .... from being realistic ... i’ve seen it done before ...
NAME THE FIRST SONG ON YOUR DISCOVER WEEKLY ON SPOTIFY OR THE FIRST SONG THAT COMES ON APPLE MUSIC / ITUNES SHUFFLE — alligators. alligators by trophy scars
NAME A BOOK THAT YOU READ IN SCHOOL THAT YOU SURPRISINGLY LIKED — uuhh ... fucking uuuhh ... what books have i liked ... pride and prejudice or the great gatsby b/c i always hated assigned reading but i’m a whore for mr. darcy n i liked daisy buchanan probably too much :/
NAME A BOOK YOU HATED THAT MOST PEOPLE LIKED — uuhhh ... fuckin’ ... i didn’t like mice of men ?? i don’t know how popular that was. don’t like the hazel wood by melissa albert or w/e but does Anybody lmao ... i don’t rly know ... hated this book i think called splinter and it was like alice in wonderland meets scene kids and i thought it was fuckin’ stupid.
WHAT TV SHOW DID YOU RECENTLY BINGE? — i haven’t binged any tv show recently ! i watched howl’s moving castle and shrek back-to-back though :/
FAVOURITE QUOTE — i’m big stupid ... i don’t know ... feed me anne carson quotes ...
LINK TO A VINE THAT EXUDES YOUR ‘ENERGY’ — this
DO YOU WRITE OUTSIDE OF RP? WHAT DO YOU WRITE? — rarely but i usually write urban fantasy ... big fantasy slut here
THREE YOUTUBERS YOU STILL TRUST — jenna marbles, emilia fart, sidney lavin, and BONUS youtuber joana ceddia
A CELEBRITY CRUSH THAT JUST WON’T QUIT — um ... uuh ... anne hathaway ... i think there’s another celebrity that makes me feel a certain way but i just. cannot remember atm.
EVER MEET A CELEBRITY? SHARE YOUR STORY — no but my mom’s friend dated lenny kravitz in high school
WHAT’S YOUR PICTURE-PERFECT NIGHT? — this ... but without anxiety
A CONSPIRACY THEORY YOU KINDA BELIEVE IN — princess diana was mc’fuckin’murdered :/
ARE ALIENS REAL? — yuh
PLAY ANY PHONE GAMES? WHICH ONES? — lily’s garden atm
WHAT’S A FILM YOU LOVED WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG AND RECENTLY WATCHED, ONLY TO FIND OUT YOU DON’T ANYMORE — i actually ... don’t like spirited away as much as i used to as a kid which makes me :/ still love howl’s moving castle though
DO YOU COLLECT ANYTHING? — sea shells and pretty rocks, books, random knick knacks, lighters, condoms except that one was accidental
WHAT’S SOMETHING YOU WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT BUT YOU’RE TOO LAZY? — i wanna learn ... some cool nature science shit ... animals and shit ... i’m not lazy i’m just poor and 2 stupid 4 a science major
THREE LANGUAGES YOU DON’T SPEAK, BUT WISH YOU COULD — italian, spanish, and like ... arabic maybe
MOVIE YOU’VE WATCHED MORE THAN 5 TIMES — shrek ... princess diaries ... uuhhh ... halloweentown and all the sequels ... maybe legally blonde
NAME A FICTIONAL CHARACTER FROM TV/FILM/MOVIE/GAME/BOOK THAT YOU FIND YOURSELF PROJECTING ON / YOU RELATE TO — [sticks fingers into my nostrils] uuhhh ... veronica mars, scott pilgrim, molly from booksmart, kelso, penelope garcia, mike myers’ cat in the hat, dr. evil, scooby doo
DO YOU FOLLOW ANY SPORTS? WHO DO YOU ROOT FOR? — no.
HOBBIES BESIDES WASTING AWAY HERE? — no.
PLUG A TV SHOW / MOVIE / BOOK / VIDEO GAME / ETC… YOU WISH MORE PEOPLE WOULD CHECK OUT — miss fisher’s murder mysteries ... very good if u like detectives but hate bbc sherlock. six of crows 4 a book. deponia (the complete journey) for a video game ... check out big fish if u wanna see danny devito’s bare ass
WHOSE BRAIN WOULD YOU LIKE TO PICK, ALIVE OR DEAD? — elon musk’s ... i don’t like him but i need to Know.
TEAM EDWARD OR JACOB? — edward :/
LAST MOVIE SEEN IN THEATRE — once upon a time in hollywood. it sucks and i hate feet but all the girls ? hot as fuck.
DO YOU STILL READ? — uuh ... kind of ??
IF SO, WHAT ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? — last book i was reading but haven’t finished and haven’t ... gotten around to reading more of ... is strange the dreamer which is a really good book i’m just shit for brains
ON A SCALE OF 1-10, HOW MUCH DID YOU HATE FILLING THIS OUT? – like ... a 5 i think ... my back hurts and i have 2 pee
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hey there!! my name's maddie and im a 16 year old australian living in france ☆
a little about me.･:*:･ﾟ
✧ i absolutely love drawing and i hope to pursue a career in visual arts and storytelling.
✧any indie pop/rock or alternative music is usually down my alley. open to any music suggestions
✧youtubers i stick by are jenna marbles, joana ceddia and penguinz0 but i honestly just watch what ever pops up in my recommended. i do watch a lot of study, journal, penpal, sketchbook tour and generally very aesthetic videos.
✧i dont watch too many tv shows, but i do absolutely love steven universe, mob psycho 100 and bnha. once again, open to suggestions~
✧my fav movies include spirited away, howls moving castle, a league of their own, ferris bueller's day off, the orphanage, carrie, the cabin in the woods and zoolander ((list seems random, but i wanted to show my favorite genres through it))
im open to meeting anyone between the ages of 15-19 and with similar interests and hobbies to mine, as long as you're not a complete creep. i also really like to facetime/skype so it's a bonus if you do too.
･:*:･ﾟ☆alsoo, ive been wanting a penpal to write to forever now. so if you would be interested in that, i would love to be penpals!
tumblr & instagram: @mxdsiee
#internet friends#internet friend#online friends#online friend#looking for an internet friend#looking for an online friend#internet friend wanted#online friend wanted#online#internet#friend#friendship#bff wanted#find a friend#findafriend#friends#submission
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ft. Bruce Pearson, Ida Pearson, Zachary Pearson, Andrea Pearson, Louie Pearson
contents: history, quick facts, and too much detail for a bunch of npc’s
written by: sam, a dumbass
triggers: death i mean its family history my guys
Bruce Robert Pearson ( father )
better known as: Bruce
faceclaim: Blair Underwood
age: fifty three
occupation: head of paediatric surgery at Yale New Haven Hospital
relationship status: married
zodiac: taurus
Ida Bente Pearson ( mother )
better known as: Ida
faceclaim: Vibeke Boe
age: fifty one
occupation: professor at Yale Law School ( field: family and juvenile law )
relationship status: married
zodiac: capricorn
Zachary Dante Pearson ( older brother )
better known as: Zach
faceclaim: Jacob Artist
age: twenty six
occupation: medical student at Yale School of Medicine ( focus: neurology )
relationship status: single
zodiac: pisces
Andrea Mona Pearson
better known as: Drea
faceclaim: Alisha Boe
age: seventeen
occupation: junior student at Broadripple Academy
relationship status: single
zodiac: aquarius
Louie ( family greyhound )
better known as: Lou or Louie
faceclaim: imagine jenna marbles dog kermit but bigger
age: six
zodiac: aries
History
A successful legacy has been something that the Pearson family has been after for some time now, Zachary and Andrea are only the latest generation to feel its pressure. Before them was their father, Bruce. The son of an ambitious small business man who never got as far as he wanted to. Now, that’s not to say he was unsuccessful. He was quite successful, by anyone’s standards. He just never got as far as he dreamed, as far as he believed he deserved to go. So when he didn’t make it, who else would carry the expectation but his oldest son: Bruce Pearson. Luckily, Bruce had already inherited his father’s ambitious spirit. He was energetic, charismatic, and above all, eager to please. But like all children that hold their parents hopes and dreams on their shoulders, he eventually let his father down. You see, while he had the perfect attitude for it, he had no desire to be a businessman. Especially not one trapped in one town, in one experience for the rest of his life. He once described it to feel as though he were picking out his own casket.
Ida had always felt similar, except about everything. Every part of her early life felt as though she were organising everything for once she was gone. A feeling that was largely due to her family’s attitude towards death, which was always prepared for it. The person Ida is now doesn’t believe in curses, but when she was young it was almost impossible not to. With each birth that happened in her family, there was a death. Usually within a month, sometimes within a week or even the same day. And Ida as a child had felt especially cursed for the night she was born a true horror occurred. As her parents shared the news of the birth of another beautiful, healthy baby girl they found out their family in law had been involved in a home robbery gone wrong. Ida’s cousin first, suspected to have scared the burglars followed by his parents as they reacted to the loss. Three deaths for one life. While her parents tried to protect her from that mentality, the rest of the family was not so forgiving. She grew up constantly thinking that the universe would eventually have to balance itself out and take her too, that she was constantly out running death. It left her torn between trying to make the absolute most of everything she did and not trying at all. As she got older, she chose the former.
The two initially met during a very important part of their lives. Bruce had moved across country to study biology to prepare for his eventual medical school application and not business like his father had hoped. Left most of his life behind and started pursuing a life he believed was the one that would bring him the most joy. The one where he could contribute while not wanting to roll over and die for how bored he was. Ida was on exchange in the states, getting her first experience of the world without her family right behind her, breathing down her neck and reminding her of something that happened minutes before her birth. Deciding what she wanted to do and what she wanted to pursue. Her mind was set on psychology. Study of the mind so maybe she could figure out the intricacies of her own family’s mentality. But it was her meeting with Bruce that lead her to the path she eventually followed to became a lawyer and later a law professor. While during their first meeting the two did not form a romantic connection they were exactly what the other needed at the time. Someone to believe in them, encourage them, and push them to achieve all they ever wanted to. After a semester of becoming close friends, Ida returned to Norway and tragically they grew apart. There was no hard feelings, simply distance.
Their reunion years later was not planned but was certainly not unwelcome. While neither of them believed in fate, both would agree their reunion was extraordinarily lucky. Even if it was a dislocated shoulder on Ida’s part that ended up bringing them back together. Their relationship progressed quickly, catching up at bars turned to dinner dates at nice restaurants, leaving a few things at each others places for convenience turned to applying for apartments together with both their needs in mind. And finally, pregnancy quickly followed by engagement. It wasn’t until that point that the two really started making an effort in becoming closer with each of their families. Realising then that they didn’t want to do all of that alone. Ida desperately wanted her father to walk her down the isle and Bruce wanted to see her dance with her father at their wedding reception as much as he wanted to hear his mother say how proud she was of him while they danced at the same reception. There was some push back, first, neither of their families had really known how serious the relationship had been. They felt cheated and betrayed from being kept so distant and in the dark about their childrens’ lives. And then they found out Ida was already pregnant. Both families could easily be described as conservative or at least, traditional for seperate reasons. While Bruce had his doubts, his parents were rather devout Christians. They definitely believed that the child could not be born out of wedlock, but didn’t want their son to be married simply because he knocked “some girl” up. It took a fair amount of convincing to assure them that the news of the coming baby had only sped up the proposal he had already been planning. Ida’s family had their reservations for different reasons. Like the Pearsons, they too were traditional and believed that the baby could not be born out of wedlock, and were upset the engagement had happened before Bruce had asked the family for permission. But they also feared for the curse. While Ida had fled to America to escape the constant reminder that her life had taken three of her relatives, it quickly returned to discussion the moment it was revealed she was pregnant. Would the curse worsen because the baby would be a bastard? Not exactly the thing a pregnant woman wants to hear, but a question she heard whispered a lot whenever her family gathered.
But they prevailed. Through judgement and the stress of pregnancy, they made it to the other side and were wed. They had their first ‘legal’ wedding in America, in a church in Bruce’s hometown of Anderson, Georgia. A gorgeous affair that at least Ida’s parents and elder sister were able to make it to until they were able to have their second wedding in Trondheim, Norway, Ida’s hometown. Between the two weddings however, they had to wait for their child to be born. Mostly because Ida couldn’t travel too far, especially not internationally being almost full term. Partially because the closer the baby’s due date came, the more she feared the curse. Would her family blame her beautiful baby for another loss like they had her? Or would his birth finally take her life, had she invited death to come and collect her after so many years and leave her son without a mother? One thing she hadn’t considered, was that her son’s birth would take the life of someone she loved so dearly. The same day Zachary was born, Ida’s own father passed on from cardiac arrest. While Zachary was welcomed so warmly by the American family, he did not receive such love when they made it to Trondheim a few months later. Of course the family was excited for the new baby, they were always excited for a new baby, and her mother was delighted to be a grandmother. They were just in mourning, they couldn’t celebrate while in mourning. Something that took Zachary many years to understand was that while his American family didn’t even know of the curse, to his Norwegian family he was a reminder of tragedy. And he lived too far away, saw them too little to ever truly become anything else to them.
After all the high expectations and pressure Bruce and Ida had received from their own parents throughout their lives you might expect they wouldn’t put the same pressure on their own children. That they might have learned from their parents and not want their children to experience what they did, but unfortunately for Zachary, and later Andrea, this was not the case. They did believe they had learned from their parents, that they now knew exactly what kind of life their children needed to lead in order to be successful and start a legacy that wasn’t family curses and small businesses. While he was still quite young, Zachary was allowed to participate in the extra curricular he wanted, it wasn’t until much later that it was claimed that most of them were a distraction from his studies. While he was pushed into it, he did always enjoy science and math and what his parents considered the “useful” subjects at school. He loved science fair time because it usually meant he got to mess around, talk very loudly about something his classmates likely didn’t know, and if he picked the right thing, he could make something explode. But nothing compared to being able to run around a court or field, be a part of a team, and have people cheering you on. Little league basketball practice and games were his favourite times of the week and he always came back from them with flushed cheeks, wobbly knees, and giant smile.
However, it didn’t last. While people with exceptional talent and incredible dedication and a large amount of luck could make it as a star athlete, Zach’s parents didn’t think it was reasonable to dream for something that only might happen even if he did everything right. They had a vision of something far, far more reliable for their son. A reliable, and impressive career was what they had in mind. Something like medicine, law, or science. Something that would certainly add to their legacy with hard work and next to no luck necessary. It wasn’t that they told young Zach that he had to give up basketball and focus on his studies, no they would never. They simply said that basketball was a distraction, that his academics were what would take him far. And with that he started to develop a fear that if he got distracted, he would fail, let his parents down. He couldn’t just aim high, he had to reach his dreams too. Or, at the very least, his ‘realistic’ dreams.
By the time Ida was pregnant with her second child, Zachary was already well on his way to being everything her and Bruce had dreamed of for their children and their legacy. That, thankfully for Andrea, would lift some of the expectation off of her. While she was expected to continue the legacy they were trying to build, if she didn’t, at least Zach was already doing it. Learning from their ‘mistake’ with their eldest child, Drea was only encouraged to take up extra curricular as hobbies. Hobbies that had designated times and either didn’t distract from her studies or encouraged them. As much as they tried to push her towards the latter, Drea seemed to stick more with the former and on top of that did everything she could to let hobby time bleed out and take on more of her life. She was always pushing to work longer on an art project, or run a few more laps, anything that would get her away from study groups and mathletics and debate teams. As she started to get older, she realised it was easier to just pretend she was interested in academics and keep her hobbies more secret from her parents. Put on the show they wanted to see. And thus, the legacy of hiding things from their parents continued. Not exactly the successful legacy the Pearsons had in mind, but they were all very, very good at it.
Now don’t forget the curse, because it reared its ugly head for Andrea’s birth too. The Norwegian side of the family was worried again, especially after Zachary’s birth seemed to have robbed them of a beloved father, uncle, and grandfather. And Ida was scared too, she desperately wanted another child but she was taunted by the idea that it would steal another family member. But once again she persevered with the help from her husband and this time, her son too. And when Andrea was born, Ida thought that the curse might have finally ended. And so did her family. It was a cautious joy, and rightfully so because it didn’t last very long. Exactly one month after Andrea’s birth, Bruce’s mother passed away. While the time between birth and death, and the fact that it was a member of Bruce’s family and not Ida’s made it hard to connect it to the curse, the fact that Andrea grew up to be so similar to her grandmother did not go unnoticed. Rebellious spirit paired with artistic flair. Almost as though her grandmother’s spirit had passed on to her. But unlike Zach, Andrea had the opportunity to at least try and fight that association in the minds of her and her grandmother’s loved ones. While they didn’t live very close, Connecticut was closer to Georgia than Trondheim and that was enough. The person who took the longest to forget, was Bruce. He saw so much of his mother in his little girl, which only made him want her to succeed even more, push her even harder for success to honour the memory of his mother.
Boarding school was never something that had been envisioned by Bruce and Ida. Private school certainly, they wanted to give their children the best chance they possibly could and they’d decided that public school was too focused on sports and arts, not the academic vision they held. Of course, Zachary being Andrea’s elder by almost ten years, was the first to reach high school. Several schools were thrown around but they eventually landed on an all boys catholic boarding school for Zachary. Catholic hadn’t been their first choice but religious education was hard to avoid not only within New England but also within private education. But it made their elders (what remained of them) happy, and it was a good school so off Zachary went. To get his education and start to gain some independence. And because he graduated as valedictorian and made it into Yale with dreams of med school, his parents considered it a job well done and were already picking out boarding schools for Andrea while she was still a few years off high school at all. But truth was, he had hated it. Being so surrounded by school and people he didn’t like, and then going home to relax and find his parents only ever wanted to talk about school too? It was suffocating. But it was easier to suck it up, and accept that it was so he would have the best possible chance to succeed and live up to his parents expectations, than it was to try and tell anyone how he felt, much less his parents. So that’s what he did. What he didn’t consider, was that his little sister would have to go to boarding school too, given his success.
coming eventually: a seperate post specifically detailing drea’s relationships with members of her family bc thats a whole other 10 paragraphs lmao
#this long as shit and is still the summarised version#but its been sitting in my drafts for too long and i like the graphic too much so : )))))) here it is#( about. )
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Um, whoever made that Jackson Pollock post doesn't know anything about Jackson Pollock. He was a really passionate artists, wasn't pretentious at all. Also the painting they used as an example of his work wasn't made by him. A lot of his works were actually really cool, I really like "The Deep" by him for example. Sorry it just bugs me that the person who made the original post made such a big mean-spirited assumption about what kind of person he is just because they didn't like his work.
Hey, that’s cool. I actually know a little bit about Jackson Pollock and I know he was passionate about his work.
I just really like the Jenna Marbles art, tbh. Her art videos are so relaxing and comforting, because, like, anyone can have fun with art and it’s so fun to watch and to know that you can do it too. No judgment, just enjoyment.
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