#doja caf | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cruisercrusher · 4 years

Text

Hey, I found your vibe

Hardcase finds out one of his favourite musical artists is a crappy person, so the others cheer him up while suggesting new music for him to listen to

word count: 1244

A clone wars modern au one shot, that fits into the broader modern au but I couldn’t find a place to insert it effectively so here:

“Hey, what’s up?” Ahsoka walks up to the group, noting how Hardcase is lying in the grass, gazing forlornly up at the sky.

“Hardcase is distraught,” Echo says as she sits down with her caf pasta.

“I’m inconsolable.” Hardcase says with a straight face, but doesn’t elaborate, and Ahsoka turns to the rest of the group for clarification.

“He just found out Doja Cat is a really gross person,” Jesse explains. “And now he has no music to vibe to.”

“Oh, that sucks,” Ahsoka says. Hardcase sighs, and Kix reaches over and pats him on the shoulder, one eye still on his textbook.

“We’re all trying to come up with music suggestions for him,” Rex says. Next to him, Anakin is pouting.

“They’re all roasting me for my suggestions.”

“Not everything is about you, Skywalker, but also, your suggestions were all bad.” Fives says. “Try thinking of something less white trash and also something Hardcase would actually listen to.”

Hardcase drapes his arm over his eyes. “What even is a ‘fallout boy’? I don’t know her.”

Anakin puffs up, rising to the bait almost laughably easily. “Fall out boy is literally one of the most—“

“I don’t know her. I’m too pretty.” Hardcase turns his head to look at Ahsoka. “Ahsoka, who’s your favourite artist?”

Ahsoka shrugs. “I like, uh, girl in red?”

Hardcase considers this. “Hm… I don’t think I’m really girl in red’s target demographic.”

“What’s that band Bly loves?” Rex says. “Cavetown?”

“Cavetown does slap a little bit,” Hardcase says. “But it’s not the same vibe… I need music I can dance to but also dissociate to and also just vibe, you know? I have to be able to vibe.”

“What about Britney Spears?” Fives suggests, and Hardcase gives him a look.

“If you think I don’t already listen to Britney then you literally don’t even know me.”

“Yeah, that’s fair. Pretty sure we all listen to Britney.”

“Doesn’t everyone?” Anakin says, because even he has at least one Britney song downloaded.

“I love Britney.” Echo pitches in, and Fives nods in agreement.

“Britney is an icon. When I say I hate celebrities Britney is not included in that statement.” Rex says. “What about Todrick Hall? You could make his music your main thing.”

“Hey, yeah,” Hardcase reaches for his phone. “Speaking of gay icons. He put out a new album recently, tons of songs on it, lots of bops, some bangers if you will. I’m upset though, because one of the songs on there that slaps the most is featuring Rupaul, and I hate Rupaul.”

“What’s wrong with Rupaul?” Ahsoka asks.

“He’s one of those people who was progressive in the nineties but have either seriously regressed since then, or have just lost touch and not noticed that the people he paved the way for have completely left him in the dust.” Rex explains. “And won’t or can’t catch up.”

“And also he’s irritating.” Jesse interjects. “I just don’t understand the ego on that man.”

“He wouldn’t last a day on his own show. Did you know Rupaul can’t sew? Clown behaviour.” Hardcase scrolls through something on his phone, then snickers. “Rupaul stopped being a gay icon when he invested in oil fracking.”

“Oil fracking,” Kix mutters with contempt. “I hate his laugh. Like, that laugh he does? Can’t stand it.”

Ahsoka nods. “Ah, I see. Yeah, oil fracking is… not great.”

“So Rupaul isn’t on the table,” Anakin says.

“Rupaul isn’t even in the dining room.”

“Right, what about, uh, that girl who was in fifth harmony but left? Her new music?”

“Ew, Camilla Cabello?” Echo answers for Hardase. “Sorry, I thought we said no more hetero garbage suggestions.”

Anakin looks offended. “No, the other one! Normandy?”

“Normandy is a place in France, idiot, you’re thinking of Normani.” Rex says, and Hardcase’s eyes widen.

“Normani! Yeah! I loved her debut solo single, I should see what else she’s got.”

“Wait,” Jesse says, “I thought Normandy was in the Netherlands?”

“What?” That finally gets Kix to look up from his note taking. “Are you serious? No, Normandy is in France. Remember, invasion of Mormandy, D Day, world war two? We learned this.”

“Mormondy?”

“That’s where the mormons live.”

“That’s where Stephanie Meyer is from.”

“I’m tired, don’t come for me.”

“Normandy does sound like it could be a place in the Netherlands, though.”

“Mr. Kenobi would be disappointed in you.”

“No!” Jesse cries, turning his distraught face to Anakin. “Would Mr. Kenobi be disappointed in me for forgetting Normandy is in France?”

“Probably not.”

“I don’t think he would be.” Ahsoka says. “Obi-Wan is nice. He’d just say something like he’s glad that you’re learning.”

“Phew,” Jesse feigns wiping sweat off his brow. “That was a close one.”

“Fetts be like, seeking the validation from Mr. Kenobi we don’t get from our father noises.” Echo says, and his brothers around him wince.

“Oof, too real, Echo.” Rex says.

“Just because it’s true doesn’t mean you can just say it.”

“Wait, oh my gosh, moment of inspiration--” Fives sits forward, look of pure revelation on his face. “Hardcase, you know who I think you would totally vibe with?”

“Who?”

“Jojo Siwa.”

“Jojo Siwa?”

“Jojo Siwa.”

“Jojo Siwa?”

“Jojo Siwa.”

“Hm.” Hardacse considers this.

“Isn’t Jojo Siwa that girl with the glittery bows and shit?” Anakin asks.

“Jojo Siwa is actually really cool.” Ahsoka says. “I follow her on tiktok. She encourages young girls to, I don’t know, let themselves act like the kids they are? She’s like the only person on the planet not telling twelve year old girls to throw it back. And she’s genuinely funny and seems really nice… yeah. Also, her outfits are literally so cool.”

“Oh my gosh, yeah,” Hardcase says, tilting his phone so the rest of the group can see. “Look at this alien costume thing whatever from this music video, I’d go so far as to call this club kid revival. Girl’s got hella style.”

“Wow,” Anakin says, “I can’t believe a twelve year old has way cooler style than all of us.”

“Jojo Siwa is our age.” Rex informs him. Anakin blinks.

“What?”

“Yeah, she’s seventeen.” Fives says. “Anyways, I don’t know why but I really think you’d vibe with Jojo Siwa, Hardcase.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Hardcase says. “Hold on, let’s listen to some of her music.” He pulls up her spotify and queues some of her newest releases, then turns the volume up on his phone and tosses it onto the grass in the middle of their huddle.

An upbeat, funky tune starts playing from the phone’s speaker, and all eight of them lean forward in attentive silence as they listen to the song.

‘Bop bop, twist twist, check it off your checklist, chug chug kick it, move it move it mix it--’

“Wow, Jojo is slaying on this track,” Jesse says after a minute. “Queen icon legend.”

“She’s killing it. Go, Jojo!”

“Yeah, I’m digging this actually.” Hardcase shimmies a little to the beat. “Thanks, Fives!”

“I live to serve.” Fives smiles. “Sorry your favourite artist turned out to be a terrible person.”

Hardcase shrugs. “Eh, it’s alright. I stan Jojo Siwa now. Life is good.”

“To stanning Jojo Siwa!” Ahsoka holds up her milk carton in a toast. Hardcase, who has no drink to toast with, just grins and lightly slaps the carton. They laugh, and the sun smiles down on them, and life is good.

50 notes · View notes