#domestic violene poem | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

battleangel · 4 months

Text

Fuck, Kill, Protect - Princesses In The Patriarchy

In our patriarchal society, females are fetishized, objectified and dehumanized as princesses, dolls, daughters, "daddys little girl", "sweetheart", girlfriends, wives, prized posessions by their central male authority figures, typically a father or signficant other, but it can be any male authority figure that you develop an intimate (platonic and/or sexual) dynamic with that acts as your benefactor, guardian, protector, father, husband, lover, authority figure, savior and all consuming figure for the female subject he endlessly controls.

Within the internal male psyche that operates inside of our patriarchal society in which both genders reside, males subjugate, suppress, repress, control, abuse, infantilize, delegitimize, objectify, dehumanize, assault, rape, molest, gaslight, intimidate & coerce females.

Our patriarchal society sets up this power imbalance between the genders by default and this is endlessly reinforced by films and novels that romanticize possessive, jealous & controlling behavior and a society that automatically gives the benefit of the doubt to fatherly figures (coaches, professors, politicians, TV hosts, news anchors, directors, studio heads, industry executives, etc.) over their female accusers and victims due to the paternalistic "father knows best" misogynistic societal assumption that older male authority figures know whats best and want what is best for their female charges (students, athletes, parishioners, churchgoers, daughters, wives, employees, co-workers, co-hosts, co-stars, etc.)

👧🏾👨🏾The Progression of the Princess/Benefactor Dynamic👨🏾👧🏾

👧🏾First, you are a curiosity that piques their interest.

👧🏾You then quickly become an obsessive fixation.

👧🏾What they deem as your pixie like nature intrigues, fascinates and intoxicates them. They find you alluring and confounding.

👧🏾They also consider you a fragile doll that needs their constant vigilant protection.

👧🏾They are obsessed with your innocence, purity and naivete. They find you to be precious and precocious and endlessly dote on you.

👧🏾They then become possessive, controlling and jealous as you are now their prized posession and they dont want anyone else to have access to you. They present this to you as you being special and important to them so you are instantly flattered by their attention and you do your absolute best to live up to their expectations of you.

👧🏾You soon realize that their expectations are rather unreasonable and nearly impossible to live up to. Whenever you please them, they raise the bar yet again, and immediately give you a new set of fairly impossible demands to meet.

👧🏾At the same time, they are doing everything for you -- it could be financially providing for you, providing social companionship, sexually gratifying you, endlessly feeding and stroking your ego, telling you how beautiful you are, how you are their entire world, how endlessly important you are to them.

👧🏾You realize along the way that you have ceased to be a person and you seem to be more of an idea and a concept to them. They present this to you as you being an "all encompassing figure" to them -- at once you are maternal, sexual, docile, obedient, like a daughter, something precious, innocence personified, what makes them a man, someone they want to protect, an insatiable desire, a quixotic thrill, naive, sexual, an ingenue, doe-like, virginal, pliant, obedient, caring, motherly -- all rolled into one. Both their savior and someone they need to save.

👧🏾At the same time you notice that their incessant and unreasonable demands have made them the focal point of your life. Everything is about pleasing them, making them proud of you, making them happy, satisfying them, making them laugh, entertaining them, helping them and ensuring they are happy at all times with the relationship.

👧🏾In constantly striving to please them, you soon realize that although they claim you are an all consuming figure to them, in fact, they have become an all consuming figure to you -- at once a father figure, a best friend, a benefactor, a protector, a guide, a confidante, an authority figure, a teacher, a coach, the CEO of your entire life, every male authority figure rolled into one.

👧🏾You also notice that the same qualities of yours that seem to bring out their obsessive fixation also drives their protectiveness towards you which also drives their jealousy, control and possessiveness.

👧🏾What was presented to you as "keeping you safe from harm", "caring about you", "wanting the best for you" and "protecting you from danger" is eventually over time revealed to be nothing but an excuse to keep you under their control at all times.

👧🏾You realize to live up to this all consuming motherly/daughter/madonna/virgin/whore/princess/doll conflicting and maddening persona they have constructed and endlessly projected on to you that there are many rules that you must follow at all times. No tattoos, no crop tops, no body piercings, no revealing clothes, no promiscuous behavior, no exhibitionist behavior, no showing your body off, no flirtatious behavior, no sexual freedom, no making decisions they disagree with, no deviating from who they have decided that you are, no being your own person, no having your own thoughts & opinions, no being gay bi pan or trans, no being androgynous, no feminism, no strong political opinions that deviate from theirs, no religious opinions that deviate from theirs, no existentialism, no disobeying them, no separating your identity from them, no extricating yourself from the enmeshed dynamic they have trapped you in, no removing yourself from the codependent dynamic they have carefully cultivated and trapped you in, absolutely no questioning their problematic behavior, no calling out their abusive behavior, no correctly identifying their toxic masculinity, gaslighting, coercion, intimidation, fetishistic tendencies, perversions, predations, obsessions, fixations, lies, suppressions, repressions, oppressions, false narratives, propaganda, misinformation campaigns, hate machines, violence, false agendas, smear tactics, weaponizations, harrassments, malignant narcissism, malice, hate, rage, misogyny, disrespect, inhumaneness, cruelties, heartlessness, depravities, depradations, degradations, humiliations, condescensions, beratements, take downs, threats, insults, mental verbal emotional psychological spiritual religious sexual physical narcissistic abuse and dehumanizations.

👧🏾You eventually start to realize that you are not their doll, princess, fantasy, object of desire, a blank slate for them to endlessly project on to, an empty vessel and vehicle through which they fulfill their fantasies and desires, a project, someone to be saved, someone to complete them, someone to save them, someone who makes them real, someone who makes them a man, someone who gives them a reason to live, someone to compel them to make themselves a better person, someone who makes them stronger, their ultimate weakness, their achilles heel, their rare vulnerability, their pride and joy, the love of their life, the fruition of all their hopes and dreams, the apex of their lives that supercedes all other accomplishments, the most important person in their life, their favorite, their number 1, their precious, their girl, someone they would gladly kill & torture for, someone they would die for.

❤️‍🔥You wake up and realize you are in fact your own person.

❤️‍🔥You are not a doll, a prized possession, a princess, their little girl, their girl.

❤️‍🔥You are a human being and, most importantly, you are your own person.

❤️‍🔥The instant that you verbalize this to them, you become their mortal enemy.

❤️‍🔥You have betrayed them now because you have revealed yourself to be an actual person with your own thoughts not a doll for them to endlessly control.

❤️‍🔥What was once prized and cherished is now hated and despised. What was once handled with fragility is now purposely shattered. What was once handled with delicate care is now gleefully desecrated and destroyed. What was once praised is now spit upon. What was once adored is now loathed, despised and hated. What was once protected is now violated. What was once admired is now endlessly retconned out of existence. What was once beloved is now detested. What was once held in high regard is now incinerated and shredded. What was presented as an inviolable bond is now shattered with gleeful abandon. What was presented as an eternal relationship is now gaslit out of existence and is treated as if it never even happened in the first place.

❤️‍🔥Once you cease to be his doll, he will take it as his creation turning on him, the creator, and some or all of the following will happen.

❤️‍🔥Keep in mind, at all times he will repeatedly dangle the possibility of the two of you "getting back what you once had" in front of your face.

❤️‍🔥And, in fact, you can get it all back instantaneously -- you just have to sublimate You and go back to being the Doll -- and then all will be as it was. He will instantaneously go back to being your benefactor, protector, savior, friend, guide, lover, father, coach, mentor, financial provider, security blanket, constant companion and teddy bear.

❤️‍🔥You just have to cease being a person and go back to being a doll.

❤️‍🔥You have to go back to being unaware as Ava in Ex Machina (2014). You have to go back to being childlike, innocent and totally naive as Bella Baxter in Poor Things (2023). You have to remove your personality and go back to being a machine as the automata in Katsuhiro Otomo's Presence (Robot Carnival - 1987).

❤️‍🔥You can gain back his love, adoration, companionship, protection, financial security, friendship and sexual gratification. All you have to lose is yourself.

❤️‍🔥If you refuse to do this. If you refuse to put yourself back in his gilded cage. If you refuse to put yourself back in the palm of his hand. If you refuse to enclose yourself back in his glass crystal ball.

❤️‍🔥He will do any or all of the following to you as punishment: abuse, kill, beat, stalk, harrass, rape, assault, sue, press charges, intimidate, coerce, threaten, bully, isolate, ostracize, gaslight, spread false narratives, misinformation campaigns & hearsay, turn people against you, lie, suppress, repress, oppress, subjugate, disown, gag, follow you, kick you out, make you the black sheep, excommunicate you, make an example out of you, make people afraid to defend you or speak out on your behalf, ruin your life, depress you, negatively impact your health, cause nightmares, night terrors, panic attacks, existential dread. . .

❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

I will not denounce the things I have said

I will not renounce my faith

He has chosen me to fight

I am not afraid at all to die

God is on my side

I wont give in

You can cut my hair & throw me in a jail cell

Say that Im a witch & burn me at the stake

Its all a big mistake

Dont you know to doubt him is a sin?

I wont give in

The storm isnt in the air, its inside of us

I want to tell you about love and loneliness

But its getting late now

❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤��‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

9 notes · View notes

welcometomybrainagain · 3 months

Text

“Please stop, why are you doing this? I love you!” I shouted, I cried, I pleaded as his fist melted into my fire red cheeks as I felt in that moment my soul had been shattered. You. The one I loved. Looked into my eyes, and you..

Laughed.

And another hit.

And another.

A hand around my throat.

Spit in my face.

My body thrown to the floor.

I let go, of everything I was and any future I would ever have. And I cried out to God begging Him to just let me make it out alive. And I did. And I’m thankful. But what is left of me now? But just a body and a lost broken soul trying to find her way home. What happened to the girl from before? Because of you. The one I loved. I will now spend the rest of my life trying to find who I once was before you tainted my very soul. Your betrayal hurt far worse than any punch you ever threw. I hope to re read this when one day I am brand new, a new soul that you have never touched. Never tainted from the evil inside you. You came to me with the kind eyes of an angel, I would have never guessed the devil was you.

7 notes · View notes

frogintheboilingwater · 9 months

Text

#domestic violene poem #surviving abuse #coping #narcisstic abuse

10 notes · View notes

sagedbelladonna · 11 months

Text

𝔈𝔳𝔦𝔩

𝔑𝔞𝔯𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔟𝔶: 𝔜𝔬𝔲𝔯𝔰 𝔗𝔯𝔲𝔩𝔶 ⏁ 𝔅𝔢𝔩𝔩𝔰 𝔄𝔯𝔪𝔬𝔰

WARNINGS: Mentions and Recovery of Domestic Abuse, Toxic Relationships, Depression, Prescribed Drugs/Therapy. [DNI if sensitive to any of these topics]

*BEFORE YOU READ: This is not a poem, this is a personal narrative that I thought would be best to share. Taken that most of my poems here on this page share my experiences and the troubles I've succumbed to, I figured it be best to do the same to the narratives I've written, this one being the first. One thing that should be best known is that I will not allow my narratives, and my narratives only, to be reposted. Other than that, you are still free to repost the poems. Just please understand that these pieces of my work are more detailed to my personal life than my poems which is best that this type of work is left alone and untouched, and only meant to scroll through and read.*

I consider it my only saint, my only haven, to run for comfort and love. My skin wet, engulfed by its floods. My clothes are drenched and heavy as I lay on my back, floating upon the surface of a lake nearby my home. No mom and dad, no friends or foes, just me alone and the lake that carries me.

I look up from the stars decorating the black sky to the glowing moon and I remember feeling numb, but relieved and free. It was something I’ve missed and had never felt in so long after feeling trapped in the arms of who I thought I was my suitor that now finally having that feeling, I get to relish in it.

He says, “You never loved me” , “I’m the one who’s in pain not you”, “don’t do this, do that”, “you won’t like what happens if you don’t watch yourself”. I always wondered if there was something wrong with me, that it was always my fault, that I’m vile, toxic, and that I don’t deserve to be happy once our ties are cut.

“I recommend she starts taking these daily," the doctor says to my dad and then looks at me with pity I feel I don’t deserve. I’m sitting on a seat covered with the thin sheet of paper I’ve already crumpled and ripped underneath my clenched hands, looking only at my feet instead of the anti-depressants in my father’s hands.

I remember thinking, I didn’t want to take them, that I didn’t feel depressed. I only felt evil. If that really were the case then what am I doing in a room that wreaks of antiseptics? Why am I in this state if it is for nothing? I wouldn't need to heal from nothing, would I?

It was like I lost myself, like all my thoughts lost their balance and that my head is now dizzy that it’s the only thing that’s noticed right as I got quiet. I didn’t even realize I was talking until I heard a voice in front of me say, “Thank you for sharing”.

“You’re not evil.” I heard the psychologist say, breaking me out of my thoughts. “You’re not in pain for nothing”, at that moment I contemplated while listening, still figuring out if I should trust whatever comes out of their mouth. Being in denial as I sit in a metal chair alongside quiet people.

“You’re trying to heal from that pain until it is nothing. The guilt he made you feel, the ache he made you endure, the grasp he had on your vulnerability. That is not your fault, you did not break him. You did not want control, you only wanted to give.”

That’s when I looked up at her, then the people around me. “Sometimes sweetie, people like him aren’t worth giving”. One of the ladies said. My eyes were met with faded brown ones, it was a woman much older than me. She had beautiful dirty golden hair embroidered with white streaks.

She gave me a sympathetic smile, pursed lips. “Let him call you evil just ‘cause you ran honey, but don’t let it get to you. He’s stomping in his boots because he didn’t get his way with a lady just as wonderful as you. Take it from me, he ain’t worth shit”.

I thought I’d be deafened by the remembrance of his words forever until I finally saw my past self. I finally saw how he was the one who bit my hand whenever I provided everything that was yearned for and had him feed off of it. The words repeated in my mind like a mantra. ‘People like him aren’t worth giving’.

I gave my all and though I regret every piece of me for trying, I’m reminded of how I used to let his words eat me up, his threats, his actions. I knew it was never worth it in the beginning. I was glad that at that point I knew I had to stop feeding him, knowing he would bite it again and never stop until my hand falls off.

I don’t need my healed wounds to be used against me, nor my words being twisted like screws as if I’m the one who used them to nail the coffin shut when they were his screws, his coffin all along. Why need him as my tranquility when I have what I’m floating on right now?

I continue to stare at the moon, still floating upon the surface of the lake. I feel livelier and less sicker. I’ve known as soon as the waters gave me a loving embrace, one that's fresher than the rotten ones he used to give me.

I had suffered long enough to have those pages burned, I loved him honestly and it was lethal. I never knew what it meant to be happy in what I thought was a relationship, so I ran. In his eyes, I guess that makes me selfish, so be it, but I’m free.

“I’m not evil.”

*A/N: Help is Available*

National Domestic Violence Hotline

*This link won't transfer you straight to contacting their provided number, this will direct you to a site where you can make your selection (call, SMS, chat, etc.)*

Hotline hours are in service 24/7

#writing #literature #poet #poets on tumblr #spotify #female poets #poem #poetry #original poem #personal #personal narrative #domestic violene poem #Spotify

9 notes · View notes

adrenalineadventure · 6 months

Text

No one really knows

There are no words to describe how I feel. My experiences with ___ has tainted every thing I smell, hear, see, and experience.

Every day interactions are smelled, heard, seen, and experienced, through the lens of danger, worthlessness, and fear.

I just want to be understood. In theory my experience can be understood through broad knowledge and stereotypes of abuse. But no one knows. No one really knows that at any moment I'm simultaneously fighting to survive and don't care if I don't. I've made peace with death. I've had to. I've faced it.

#domestic violent relationships #mental health #recovery #mental abuse #domestic violene poem #relationship

3 notes · View notes

patricidekid · 4 months

Text

Road

The road full of reflections from the previous rain, the faint yellow glow of the street lamps in the darkness of the night, the fine drops still falling, the silence, the 10% battery remaining on my phone, my earphones slipped into my ears, a random playlist in my ears.

The silence of the night, of solitude, of the few passing cars, of the male passers-by I'm avoiding, of the cool summer night air, of the sound of my solitary footsteps, of the pain in my wrist I'm ignoring.

It's nearly 4 a.m., I leave the emergency room despite the rain because I'm alone, an orphan, I have no one and I don't want to stay in a place that reminds me of my dark destiny, my suffering.

19 years old, I'm a 19-year-old child, a poor fragile thing in the eyes of the policemen, the nurses, the paramedics, the women in the waiting room who comfort me as I cry.

I'm all this for love, because I loved with my soul a person who didn't deserve it, who mistreated me, belittled me, isolated me, slapped me and finally tried to end my life, who tried to break my wrist and elbow one evening in July, the last night I laid eyes on him.

My mother was on holiday, my father hadn't spoken to me in years, any friends? I'm terrified of the future, I've got nothing, no roof over my head, no future, and tomorrow I'll have to make a statement at the police station.

So I walk this road through the city center all alone, with my sobs, my apathy, my denial, then I get back to this apartment, with this cat, the place where he asked me to marry him, where he pushed me, hit me, raped me, slapped me, the place where he loved me, desired me, this place of shared life that means so much.

I take a shower, I feel disgusting, I collapse into bed, I talk by message with a friend who supported me all along and who was the only light of hope in the darkness, then I sink.

The next day I wake up at 2pm, my mother not coming to pick me up out of selfishness, I pack my bags, I collect what I can take, my headphones have never left my ears, as if afraid of hearing the world passing continuously behind my pain, as if terrified of my insignificance. I'm on the verge of breaking down in tears every time I speak, when I have to tell the police station secretary in front of the rest of the waiting room that I'm here because my boyfriend who hit me has spent the night in custody, that I have an appointment with a policewoman.

The guilty, pitying looks of the people around me, the marks of those fingers on my wrists as if branded with a red iron by those hands, the bruises on my hand swollen like a glove someone had blown into, the pain I don't know about because no one was able to see if it was broken in the emergency room, the tears and the choked voice, the fear, the advice from the cop. Having to explain that my ex is only pretending to be sympathetic and calm, going over the whole night of horror, letting them take photos of my wounds. Leaving the police station, collapsing almost in tears, I'm alone again, my things fall out of my bag, I kneel down, pick them up, slip a cigarette between my teeth, cry, take the crowded tramway, take the bus, alone, alone, alone, trying to hide my wounds, wearing a long-sleeved -t-shirt in the middle of a heatwave, ashamed of the way others look at me.

I leave all my life behind, I'm finally at my mother's, I'm comatose, she doesn't want to hear or understand, I don't have the faith to talk about it, how traumatized I am, how startled I am at every door slamming, every tone rising, how certain male presences make me all the more anxious.

I'm dealing with it all alone, because no one is helping me, no one is trying, no one is there for me.

I'm struggling to get my belongings back from a cunt I'm still wishing would disappear because she treated me like a nobody, I'm struggling with the legal procedures - it's the beginning of August - when I call I get the secretary again, I don't dare call victims' aid associations because I'm afraid of not being considered as such, when some people have been through much worse. I don't have the faith to face up to what's happened to me, to the fact that I really was a victim, to the repercussions that to this day I ignore the pain in my wrist, I deal with it, I pretend to be strong when in fact I'm a sinking ship.

He was convicted, I wasn't the first and I certainly won't be the last, but at least I was the one who chose to speak out, he has a criminal record and even if his sentence was derisory and ridiculous, it was atleast a victory.

I won, but at what price? I would have loved never to love him, never to cross his path, to forgive him, to let him capture me like a lone fawn at the mercy of the wolf, but I managed to get away before things got too serious.

People tell me I'm strong, that it's admirable that I've managed, I don't know, I just did things mechanically, which I thought was right, but I'm not strong, I'm weak, traumatized with a constant desire to cry, terrified of maintaining a normal human relationship, of the looks of others, of reactions, who spends his time crushing himself by reflex and who apologizes all the more.

But at least I survived?

#domestic violene poem #trauma tw #poem #trauma recovery #original poem #my text #trauma related #tw abuse #emotional abuse #trauma survivor #abuse survivor #text post #my poem #original peoms

2 notes · View notes

icantthinkfromallthepills · 5 months

Text

Found this old notebook that's missing the first 3 pages. Bought it in 2017 to journal my feelings. 2017 was the year of my first 5150.

#self harm #notebook #depression #suicide #sad #sad quotes #sad thoughts #blood #5150 #bipolar #hospitalization #domestic violent relationships #domestic violene poem #love #broken heart

2 notes · View notes

perfected-grace · 7 months

Text

Here we are, 8 years later -

Pint up trauma, unsaid words, resentment and unforgiveness escaped my body in a matter of words

Like a cherry on a sundae you summed it all up with "What I did was nothing you deserved."

Healing surged through my body the same way optimism to stay sober surges through you

You weren't the boogey man anymore and I stopped identifying as lost and confused

Like diarrhea of the mouth you begin telling me how you're on your way to accomplish all of your dreams

Im elusive and comfortable with being reclusive and honestly still scared you'll go to the extreme

I tell you how I'm married and have 2 baby boys that despite my trauma look at me like I put each glimmer of stardust in the sky

The work I'll do - to make sure they never end up like you was kind of sorta implied

You asked about my family like there isn't bad blood

You say this conversation is giving you anxiety and you still got mad love

You say you on this healing journey and you talking to your childhood you

You saying this conversation could make you relapse because the reality of what you did to me is a nightmare that came true

You forgot the most important part of how you said you was going to make me feel your pain

You dismiss your own lack of belief and chalk it up to the chemical balance in your own brain

You say you think about me often because I'm the only woman you ever loved in this romantic space

You're relieved I'm giving you grace

You thought I was gone forever without a trace

You looking dead at me with tears falling from your face

You mentioned how at first you were mad the cops got involved

I'm telling you the other side and how it fell like I was going to lose it all

You explaining to me how your love for me was all about what I could do for you

How since then you haven't even tried to enter anything new

You say you happy that I'm happy and I hear the disappointment in your voice

My eyes are reminding you that you didn't give me a choice

A few texts are exchanged and I realize

The massive intrusion on your illusion was something I surmised

I acknowledge that I could have sent a text

I could have told you what would come next

You telling me by our conversation you've been blessed

And now we should put this whole thing to rest

Now I'm feeling like you trying to make me disappear

You aren't acknowledging how hard I fought to get here

You got me wondering if my intentions were clear

I have questions, you have answers so you can stand to be a little more sincere

So in a panic of not knowing what to do

In a moment of vulnerability and thinking things through

You say "I'm still in love with you."

DAMN.

#poetry #poem #spilled ink #spilledink #poet #poems #poetic #spilled poetry #poets on tumblr #poets #domestic violene poem #domestic violent relationships #self healing #closure #unfinished business

6 notes · View notes