#don’t ask me if I’m okay I’m fine

[shepscapades]

When i very first started reading this I was really excited xisooma was in it but was a wee bit disappointed in how littel he was, BUT I TAKE IT ALL BACK YOUR SERVING ME SOME GOOD STUFF!! Like like him and doc prioritizing each other and him seemingly getting closer with him and eaaaahhhhhhh thanks :>>

EEP yeah!!! Yeah, I’ve very much fallen in love with xisuma throughout this process. It’s been a joy to have him so prominent in this part of the au, and I love him so much, so I must give him the special angst treatment >:]!! If this is any consolation, Xisuma strikes me as someone who doesn’t SEEM as strong or intimidating or scary as you might expect because of how soft he speaks and how kind he is and how DERPY he is, but throw him in a stressful situation and he does a total 180. Let me just say that, if it were anyone else being slammed to the ground like that by a blood thirsty corrupted android, they would not be doing so well. Xisuma is strong— way stronger than he lets on, imo. He’s holding Etho back from doing who knows what, and I think that’s plenty impressive. HES EVEN ASKING IF DOC IS OKAY WHILE HOLDING ETHO BACK!!! Idk man I have a lot of feelings about him

I’m also really happy people are noticing him and doc prioritizing each others’ safety. It’s really special to me 🥺 I just think they should be research partners who care a lot about each other!!! That’s all!!!

#dbhc #dbhc ask #ask #anon #dbhc xisuma #dbhc doc #listen don’t get me started #xisuma is goofy and kind and little bit empty headed when it comes to certain things but #again #put him in a stressful situation and he goes 180 #not that I’m currently writing him frustrated and stressed and scared and high on adrenaline #and am learning that he is so absolutely the type to get totally fed up with something and sigh and grumble and #I’m fine about xisumavoid #not that I think he would maybe do the occasional curse in mental narration #but yknow #I just think he’s a complex character and someone should (try her best) to do him the justice he deserves #DRBNDFGBKCGHN #okay I need to shut up now

[shima-draws]

So my roommate is also into One Piece. I’m not sure if he’s watched any of the anime, I know for sure he’s watched the live action, but earlier tonight he came upstairs and watched a few episodes with me while waiting for a food delivery, and then he got hooked, and then he sat and watched MORE episodes with me without really knowing what was going on. But it was still wildly entertaining to him, esp since I’m right in the middle of one of the (arguably) best arcs rn, and now he wants to finish the arc with me LOL. NOBODY is immune to One Piece propaganda. Or Bon-chan 🥰

#Shima speaks #IT WAS JUST REALLY FUNNY #Like he’s been spoiled to a lot of stuff and has general knowledge of some things #So he knows (as well as I) about what’s going to happen to Ace #But yeah I’m in the middle of Impel Down and it’s absolute fucking CHAOS rn. Insane. #He was like. How much more are you going to watch tonight. #And I was like well I usually go until right before bedtime when I’m binging it #So he was like let me grab my blanky :) LOL #We started chanting PRISON RIOT!! PRISON RIOT!! PRISON RIOT!!!!! #Idk it’s just nice. I usually don’t get this kind of reaction to stuff I watch #My parents don’t like anime and my sister. Well she likes it but only specific series #So I couldn’t rope her into OP even if I tried lol #So having someone be like ooooh what are you watching it looks good I want to join! #IT FEELS NICE. OKAY. I don’t get that ever!!! #I don’t have the kind of family who would be willing to watch anime with me #And tbh I get jealous when my friends tell me they watch anime with their parents #I doubt my parents would watch anime if I were on my deathbed and asked them to. LMAO #Not faulting then it’s not their cup of tea which is fine. It just makes me sad #*them #Bc that’s just. Such a HUGE part of my life and who I am. And they don’t know anything about that side of me #Or about the things I’m into #Sorry didn’t mean to get emo in my tags. Anyway. #I was gonna watch more OP during my lunch break tomorrow BUT since my roommate also wants to watch more. I will wait :) #Never have to do that usually! Huh!! How fun!!! #One Piece

[ladysophiebeckett]

marcela demanding and having access to his bank statements is insane. it just gets glossed over and never brought up again. this is not normal behavior.

#ysblf #I would say this is uhh toxic and abusive #especially considering that it’s not like they share bank accounts #I’m assuming armando gave in so she would stop asking #but it’s another form of her constant vigilance over him #suddenly it’s not so bad that Marcela had to pay for the wedding herself #if they can’t even trust each other with their money #(I mean embargo blah blah blah ) #Marcela’s argument must have been ‘why can’t I see them? if u have nothing to hide’ #and Armando was like ‘okay fine whatever’ #her not understanding or caring that he wants privacy for the sake of privacy #anyway I don’t have it in me to be on the ‘poor Marcela train’ #when she was just as a participant in the toxicity of their relationship as he was

[enha-stars]

mf is so predictable pls 😭 why are men so unoriginal

#don’t text me ?????? #ESPECIALLY DONT TEXT ME ‘hey how are you pretty’ ill kms #fr i will #i have played this man off so many times and HE STILL WANTS MS??? #let me be hoe pls #am i entertaining it a bit? yes okay FINE I AN #SUE ME #but he makes it so easy 😭 #omfg am i in my toxic fboy era #nah it’s just him #and it’s not like i don’t like him #he’s fine #anyways #no way bro waited till my last exam to text me #if i ask him to show me his calendar i’m sure it’s written there #simp #enha!me

[raeathnos]

.

#apparently I’m not done being mad about this I’m sorry guys I gotta vent #my dad is like an ox and never sick and like not very understanding with health issues/general illness #which you’d think he would have been after having me the super sickly child with a ton of health issues but no #we have a positive Covid case in the house and I have the same fucking symptoms I just started later #I have taken two tests- one yesterday and one today #and he yelled at me saying I’m wasting tests and also that I’m apparently fine which like #even if I somehow don’t catch covid I’m still sick but okay dad 🫠 #if it helps put things into a better perspective… did yall know that back in November after I had my 3rd fucking endometriosis surgery #he asked why I was off work for two weeks and why I didn’t go back the day after surgery? #like I had had this surgery twice before and at home recovery was also two weeks both those times #but moreover like sir I have 3 incisions in my abdomen and my job requires me to left 50lbs??? #at which point he still insisted I was fine and was just being ‘dramatic’ 🙃 #I wanna fucking scream #I’m lissed the fuck off #did yall know he nearly got me killed once because I had neurovirus and he refused to take me to the er? #I eventually lost consciousness from severe dehydration- he thought I was sleeping and continued to argue with my mom that I was fine 🫠 #they eventually took me but I was unconscious for several hours and it took five bags of iv fluid for me to regain consciousness #and the doctor estimated I was about two hours away from death so like #yeah #if that gives yall a better idea of the shit I’m putting up with #I have like zero tolerance for dealing with his bullshit when I’m sick #it’s the trauma from not fucking being believed for years of my life about any of my illnesses #and like also the fucking almost dying part #fun times 🫠 #I’m sorry I’m ranting so much today I’m just really fucking done and have no other outlet 🙃

[daisyjohnsn]

love when my mom is upset about something not involving me and starts just ignoring me

#like won’t even look at me let alone say a word #she’s said literally 2 words to me since she’s been home for lunch and that was just to say ‘i’m fine’ when i asked if she was okay #logically i know she’s probably shutting down because she doesn’t want to say anything when she’s in a bad mood that she could regret #i also just hate being lied to. i’d rather her say ‘no i’m not okay but i don’t feel like talking’ than just lying and ignoring me #but it really makes me feel like those babies in the attachment study screaming and crying because my mom won’t acknowledge me #ko.txt

[curufiin]

Sorry to anyone awake to see my 4:30 am ramblings but this feels like the cruelest torture loop in the world

#archi screaming #my inability to physically show my mental distress strikes again #a few days ago. i thought of that time i was on vacation with my family #and my dad asked if i still feel depressed and shit #and i was like yeah. because let’s be real i am always one stupid thing away from ruining my whole day #and they were like well you seem better to me you don’t look that depressed #and obviously i was upset bc ofc i look better to you I actively avoid looking like i’m in a bad mood for everyone’s sake #(mostly mine because then i’d have to explain i don’t know why i’m upset and i don’t know how to fix it atm so let me figure it out on my- #-own time. probably not something my parents will take as an answer) #idk looking back on it now. how the fuck did i get this bad #i don’t know i guess that’s why i’m so annoying about being depressed on the intwrnet (aka doing it publically) #and all this shit about ‘oh girls in school bathrooms are so nice if you’re crying they’ll support u even if they don’t know you’ whatever #okay that’s great . i can’t. cry. it’s not that i am physically unable to cry as in bodily malfunction #but when i’m upset i can’t cry so it’s like. idk i wish. someone would notice. that maybe i’m not fine #god i wish i was not like this and yet! what can a man do against entropy

[lilgynt]

got un depressed enough to take the dog on a walk immediately got re depressed and had to lay down after letting mom know she didn’t have to walk her tonight

#personal #oh okay thanks mom i frequently flash back to moments with dad at a worrying rate #came home crying yesterday #i’m losing more and more hair in the shower and i’m trying to tell myself it’s not what i think it is even tho getting worse with my ed #am considering just never reaching out to my eldest brother again bc he 180ed during dads thing or like just showed who is he is under #pressure my jobs awful my car is breaking down the dog needs a tooth pulled and my dad is dead #and my mom can’t just keep it straight on if she likes or hates me #or if i’m selfish or not #and ignores me but not cruelly which is worse actually #like my mom stone walling me bc she’s upset or something? okay #it’s so hard to describe like. she cares but she doesn’t #she’ll bring me food or ask how my day is going #but i try holding a conversation or anything and she can’t acknowledge me or turn away from the tv #not even bc she’s mad!! she’s just. not? interested? #i don’t know how to describe it #and im upset she said i was selfish during dads death but she’s a acting like we’re fine now #how are we good. if you genuinely resent me and how i acted during that period how are we good #i can barely talk to you without getting super angry or really desperately wanting you to just. i don’t know not be you? be normal ?

[robyn-goodfellowe]

stayed up a bit too late watching problematic coasters again……..goodnight

#i forgot i have to present my final tomorrow #as much as i talk here…. i am so afraid of public speaking it’s not even funny #but it’s fine. i might be dead last on the list. that’s fine. that just means we might run out of time before i can do it right. right #anyways goodnight i procrastinated sleeping cuz i’m scared of The Nightmares but i think it’ll be okay #hmmm what to ask what to ask #u know what i’m nosy. what’s a topic u love that u don’t get to post about much? i want to know :) #for me it’s airplanes+airports. i don’t post about it because the stuff here on tumblr for it doesn’t interest me #and also math. but i’m also really bad at math i just think splines are cool ehehe #zzz #btw i know i don’t always respond to these but i promise i love reading them it’s always nice

[asmolbirb]

.

#so we’re back to this eh #tag rant #I don’t WANT to learn new skills I don’t WANT opportunities to grow I don’t WANT to be included in conversations with senior leadership #I don’t WANT to be giving feedback to creative directors #and moreover I don’t think it’s fair to literally anyone to ask creative directors to receive feedback from me #me who is like 3-4 titles below these directors with decades less experience #yes I know I have potential and I know I’m talented or whatever but #no one else at this table is looking at me as a talented supervisor #they’re looking at me as an underperforming director #idk idk idk I can’t articulate what’s causing me to have an emotional aneurysm rn #bc it’s not that I’m being given responsibilities for the next title up. that’s fine I’m okay with that #I think it’s that no one seems to be acknowledging the power dynamic and idk how to bring it up myself without sounding too sensitive #or maybe that they’ve given me an opportunity I didn’t ask for and now I’m flailing and being judged for it. when it’s THEIR fault #work woes #whatever I’ll fake it until I either make it or get put on a PIP. and I know they’ll never put me on a PIP #and on the plus side I’m receiving a monumentally helpful crash course in what my core strengths truly are

[cetoddle]

also i got lots and lots of compliments on my outfit today and they were able to fix my necklace! i only wanted the big knot out but they fixed the other ones for me too and even cleaned it and for some reason they didn’t even charge me !! and i got my book ! yayyy

#successful day 😎👍🏻 #also the part for my car arrived..now i just have 2 wait on my f*ther to replace it for me.. #anyways #i didn’t even wanna get up out of bed today but i had to cause i had therapy and u know what #i ended up having a pretty good day -w- #i didn’t get to talk 2 the cute barista at starbucks but..whatever #but! i did end up dressing up a little and i felt so cute today and got lots of compliments which was nice #and i got all my shopping done and had fun.. #im still surprised they fixed and cleaned my necklace and didn’t charge me.. #i asked abt it and the guy said not to worry abt it and to just come back again sometime *wink* #and i said okay :D and left and then tripped on the curb outside when i was leaving #i’m not exactly in the market for fine jewelry and hopefully my necklace won’t implode on itself again at least for a while so..i probably #will not be going back anytime soon #i did kinda wanna ask if i could have like my ring size measured but i was too shy to ask #the guy behind the counter was kinda cute and very nice and i didn’t wanna bug him so i just sat and waited for my necklace ;-; #i don’t even wear rings im just curious #uhmm. what else. i got some ingredients to make cookies tonight :3 #it was nice to have a good day for once -w- i just hope this isn’t a bad omen that things are about to get super fucked #im not trying to be negative!! but it is a genuine pattern in my life that whenever i have a good day or things go well for a bit #that means something disastrous is looming around the corner #i guess we’ll see :’) #snow.txt

[nope-body]

.

#I fucking hate how my dad has essentially told me that it’s my fault I’m in so much pain #not that he’d ever acknowledge how much pain I’m actually in #but I just keep getting told that my general physical condition is my fault and I’m a burden for needing more support than others #and that I don’t know what I need or how to take care of myself and just generally that I’m bad for being disabled #not that anyone would ever say that I’m disabled #and I just hate it! I’m so tired of it #I’m tired of my dad treating exercise like a cure and my mom supporting me only when my dad isn’t around and never in any meaningful way #and I’m tired of feeling like an unlovable burden when I’m in so much pain that I can’t stand #because it’s really getting to my head! I almost texted my friend asking them if they were sure they wanted to be roommates with me because #I might be in pain sometimes and that might impact them #like. what the fuck!? they already know I’m disabled and they’re disabled too! and we support each other and we are more than aware of what #being roommates consists of. my parents are just getting into my head to the extent that I feel like I shouldn’t be around people because #I’m a burden and unlovable due to my pain and I would tell anybody else that that’s wrong #so why am I letting myself believe it? #also I keep saying that my parents are getting better but I don’t think they’ve changed. They can communicate a bit better but #their feelings are the same and that’s the problem. they don’t understand and they don’t care until they’ve had time to think about it #about it and normally I’d be fine with that but when you’re stuck on the floor crying in pain you just want someone to care #you don’t want to wait until your health comes up weeks later in a conversation #you just want compassion and someone to be there with you and tell you it’ll be okay #they have never done that

[crabs-but-better]

oh god oh fucj

#category 2 yearning event #i have our group photo hanging up and i just looked at it and remembered and how she asked me out and said she’d text me to #plan a time but she hasn’t yet and we don’t really talk so do i text her out of nowhere and follow up or do i just leave it at that #and oh god school is starting again and i’m gonna see her eeeeek #and also idek if it was romantic i mean it had to be right? she asked me to go to chicago with her that is surely a date #but i had told her i was gay which is technically true but i am occasionally attracted to people other than men so like it’s complicated bu #how would she know that? and also she asked me to go to a filipino place which is like a Thing bc we’re the only other filipino people we #know besides our family so it could be that she just wants me to try that restaurant with her but still. all the way in chicago? #aurggghhhh #it’s okay everything’s fine haha

[gatheryepens]

My third driving lesson today and well it’s not going so well…

#pre lesson #I was asking like a lot of people how good they were after doing 3 lessons #because I feel like I’m just really bad #but a lot of people were reassuring me that it’s fine #so anyway doing my lesson #everything is fine #until we have to do a right turn downhill #but I go on the curb #and then queue breakdown #like I’m sat there trying not to combust in front of this dude and he’s like you alright #and I’m like y 💧e💧s #so he drives for a bit #then I re do the turn it’s a lot better than last time #like my issue is I’m a bit anxious to use speed #so I say that to him and he’s like okay that’s fine don’t put as much speed #then a couple minutes later he’s like increase the speed #and I’m like…… #I had to stop a lot and take breaks #which I felt really bad about #but I just get really anxious when there’s loads of obstructions and there are cars coming #I just hate that driving lesson have been a source of anxiety #like I shouldn’t be this anxious/nervous about them because it’s just a lesson #the urge to quit is really strong 😭😭 #but number 1 this is a really valuable skill to learn #and number 2 winners never quit and quitters never win #which is a quote by vince lombardi #and might be like in a barbie song #gatherrambles #gatherbabblesaboutnonsensicalstuff