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#don’t mind me i’m crying at the season finale
discotitsposts · 3 hours
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i do
spencer reid x fem reader
spencer asks you to marry him and you get married in a quick ceremony (set in like season 11 in my mind)
a little short but silly and fun and i love happy spencer he deserves it
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his ass looks so juicy here
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Spencer had been nervously shaking all morning. You were really worried about him. Why is he acting so strangely? You wondered while drinking your own coffee.
“Spence, anything the matter love?” You ask softly as you set his mug of coffee down on the table in front of him.
He just lifts his head and reaches into his pocket nervously. He slowly gets down on one knee in front of you. You realize where this is going and gasp. He pulls out a small black velvet box in the shape of a heart.
When he opens it carefully, there sits your dream ring. It’s absolutely beautiful.
“Will you marry me?” Spencer asked tears flowing from his eyes.
“Yes! Of course I will Spencer!” You jump excitedly.
“I know a pastor that can marry us in an hour if you’d like.”
“But I don’t wanna marry a pastor, I wanna marry you!” You pout.
“What? No that’s not what-,” Spencer starts confused.
“I’m kidding! Of course I want to marry you now!! Let’s go!!” You race to grab your phone and call the closest thing Spencer’s got to a real family. The BAU team.
The team was going to meet you down at the church. You had just snagged a wedding dress quickly from a bridal shop. It was beautiful and exactly what you wanted. You were now in an antique shop.
“Ok so your necklace is the something old, your dress is the something new. All that’s left is something blue and a penny in your shoe.”
You lift your heel so he can slip the penny in your shoe.
“What can we find that’s blue?” You keep looking and find nice cufflinks for Spencer to wear. He was currently looking at vintage suits.
“What do you think?” He holds up a dark blue suit.
“Honey I don’t think you can be my something blue.”
“I just happen like the color though.” He pouts.
“Then it looks very nice. Hey what about this?” You hold up a beautiful antique tiara littered with blue jewels.
“Beautiful. Let’s get it.” You both race to the church and change. The girls help you with your hair and makeup.
Spencer goes ahead to meet the pastor at the altar while you wait at the end of the aisle. The BAU team and a few of your friends are waiting there cheering you both on. The organist plays the wedding march and Rossi takes your arm and walks you down the aisle.
JJ’s son follows as the ring bearer.
You’re crying, Spencer’s crying, Rossi’s crying, everyone’s crying. Even Morgan.
You thank Rossi and step up. Emily, JJ, Tara, and some of your friends are bridesmaids and Penelope, being your maid of honor, lifts your dress’s train and adjusts it. Spencer’s best man is Morgan. Hotch and Will are up there with him.
Spencer takes your hand and you speak your quickly written vows. Then the pastor.
“Do you Dr. Spencer Reid, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?”
“I do.” Tears are streaming down his face.
“(y/n) do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?”
“I do.” You’re smiling at him and squeezing his hands.
“You may now kiss the bride.” The pastor smiles proudly.
Spencer kisses you passionately. Then you throw your bouquet to the bridesmaids, Penelope catches it excitedly. Emily doesn’t even try to catch it.
Hotch throws some rice at you guys while laughing. JJ and Will are also throwing some.
Morgan shouts after you guys as you try to escape, “They’re excited to get started on the honeymoon!!”
After you guys leave he turns to Penelope, “Can’t believe the kid finally got hitched!”
That’s just what you guys did, hopped on a flight to anywhere you’ve always dreamed of going, got the biggest honeymoon suite the hotels offered, and enjoyed yourselves.
They lived happily ever after!
The End💘
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i hope this was even a little bit fun to read, please let me know if you enjoyed.
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tags-
@whoisspence
@lemonadeinfuser
@fictionalobssed
@exoticisles
@in-another-april
@gallifreyan-idiocracy
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motherofsunshine · 2 years
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celeryb1tch · 1 month
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spencer reid x student!reader
18+! this post contains nsfw content
when spencer gets home from work he finds that you haven’t finished your essay, so he tries to ease your mind.
content: lots of pet names, fem!reader, you’re getting an arts degree lol, age gap but not too intense since this is early-ish seasons spencer, slight degradation at the end, reader orgasm, oral and fingering (r! receives), overstim, forced orgasm.
(i’m literally gay but i’ve been so delusional and in love with this fictional man lately i had to write something to get it out of my system!!!)
when your boyfriend came home from work, tie loose and satchel abandoned on the kitchen counter, you felt a wave of embarrassment flush you. you were still working on the same essay you had been last night; the one spencer made you promise you’d finish today.
“how is my pretty girl?” he asked, laying back beside you on the couch. when he leaned over to kiss you chastely, your stomach churned and you shut your laptop quickly.
you could feel hot tears start to pool in your eyes, biting back the sob you so desperately needed to get out. spencer took one look at your face and sighed, wrapping an arm around you.
“oh, baby. you didn’t finish it?”
“i tried!” you protested, your eyes squeezed shut to avoid seeing his disappointed face. “please don’t be mad at me.”
spencer’s gentle hand cupped your cheek, running his thumb across it lightly. “look at me, angel. i’m not mad.”
the floodgates opened when you finally dared to look at him, seeing his mouth pressed in a flattened line. tears streaked your face and it only added to the embarrassment. your boyfriend was a capable man, and here you were crying because you couldn’t finish a stupid essay before he got home from his 9-to-5.
he tried to hold you closer, but you struggled against him. you didn’t deserve his comfort or his sympathy. he settled for running his free hand through your hair soothingly. “hey, just talk to me. what went wrong, can i help?”
you shook your head, fighting through a hiccupped sob to answer. “i couldn’t find the last source i need. i was sifting through articles for like four hours, and i just gave up.”
ever the problem solver, spencer smiled down at you softly. “okay, let me take a look. you know i have fairly good research skills, they’re kinda required for my job.”
“you don’t get it!” you huffed, frustration evident in your voice. “you go to work all day and i can’t even find one source. one! i shouldn’t need your help for everything.”
recognition flashed in his eyes, and then he really pulled you in. it was useless to relent, you could feel the determination in his touch. he shushed you softly, one hand wrapped around you firmly while the other drew patterns on your back. when your breaths slowed and your sobs subsided, he pulled back to hold you at arms’ length. “baby, you are one of the smartest people i know.”
you couldn’t help but roll your eyes, and spencer grabbed your chin to ensure you couldn’t look away.
“i wouldn’t lie. no one i know is as sensitive as you are, as empathetic and in touch with their emotions. that’s what makes you so good at this program. i certainly couldn’t complete your degree.”
and you knew how bad at concealing the truth your boyfriend was, so reluctantly you believed him. “thank you,” you just about whispered.
his eyes cast pure adoration on you, even as your tear-stained cheeks were red and raw. “your incredible brain is one of the reasons i fell in love with you. so if you can’t find anything, there must be a reason. could you please just let me take a look?”
spencer had indisputably won you over, one arm still holding you to his side as he opened your laptop on his own lap. you relaxed into him, head pressed to his chest where you could hear his heart beating perfectly. with a hum, he scanned your tabs in a matter of seconds, scrolling to the bottom of the search result page at a speed the computer could barely keep up with. “i know what it is, but you’re not going to be happy.”
lifting your head, you squinted at your boyfriend inquisitively.
“you were typing the date wrong, honey. the last two numbers were flipped.”
you felt that feeling of incapability rush through you again, your eyes stinging in preparation to cry. but spencer was right there to prevent you from shutting down, hand on your head passing slow strokes in comfort.
his lips hitched into a small sympathetic smile when he looked down at you. “my poor girl, worked yourself up so hard your brain stopped working. too much essay writing this week.”
and of course, he was right. you’d been running yourself ragged recently trying to keep up with deadlines, not to mention the extra work you’d taken on early to prevent overwhelm for finals. when you’d told him your plan, spencer had advised against it. he didn’t want you sacrificing your sanity now for a bit more time with your boyfriend in a few months. but never not supportive, he relented and instead helped you draft a schedule to complete everything.
you couldn’t feel too stupid with spencer’s sweet voice telling you that you weren’t. “it’s not even due until next week, remember? i just wanted you to finish it tonight so i could take you out to dinner,” he confided sheepishly. “you’ve been working so hard, i wanted to reward you.”
despite knowing it was physically impossible (as spencer reminded you often), you could feel your heart swell from the overwhelming love you felt for your boyfriend. you pecked kisses all over his face incessantly until he swatted you away, blushing crimson from the unexpected affection. “okay, where are we going?”
spencer hummed mischievously in faux thought, tucking your wild hairs back from your face. “you didn’t finish your essay, so i actually think it’s only fair to punish you. at least before i take you out anyway.”
a heat bloomed in you, both in your cheeks and between your legs. it was rare that your boyfriend was anything but tooth-achingly sweet with you, saving his more dominant side for certain circumstances. apparently this was one of them. “oh, really? how are you gonna punish me, sir?”
he pulled you into his lap, mouth finding your neck immediately. “if you’re going to be stupid, i might as well treat you like you are. i know how much you like it when i call you a dumb slut, despite the fact that we’re both aware of how intelligent you are.”
your core ached with need, fluttering at his words. “that’s kinda fucked up, huh? i shouldn’t want that.”
“actually, it’s fairly common, especially for women with a high amount of stress in their everyday lives. most people enjoy some form of degradation and or praise when having sex.”
“spencer,” you groaned. his beautiful brain always had to get in the way of the fun, not that you seriously minded.
he smiled, pressing his lips to yours again. “sorry, baby. yes, it makes you a very naughty girl.”
despite the pure love in his eyes and his touch, you felt a pang of arousal when he degraded you. it felt good to be demeaned by someone who thought so highly of you. so you let him pin you against the couch, clothes long forgotten, and relished in his nasty words as he sunk to his knees before you.
your laptop was somewhere on the ground, still open to that unfinished document. but it was the last thing on your mind when you felt spencer’s mouth trailing down your front. his fingers hooked your panties, pulling them down with a string of arousal attached. “fuck,” he grumbled. “you are a little slut, aren’t you?”
you struggled to respond as his fingers passed through your folds, thumb toying with your clit lightly. “mhm, yours.”
“that’s right, baby.” all of the showy dominance dropped for a second when he smiled up at you, that familiar twinkle of passion in his eyes. and then he ate you out.
all you could do was grip the bedsheets, small whines leaving you each time he ran his tongue roughly up your clit. he’d take a moment to kiss your inner thighs, slipping two fingers inside to hit that sweet spot when he wasn’t lavishing it with his mouth. it wasn’t long before you were on the edge, feeling the knot snap in your stomach. with a start, you gasped through your orgasm, spencer’s hand finding yours to soothingly stroke his thumb across your knuckles. but as your breaths slowed, he didn’t.
“spence, i’m done,” you panted, hand gripping his hair.
“no you’re not.”
with a roll of your eyes, you tried to pull your hips away to no avail. his fingers were still pumping into you at a relentless pace. his head raised to meet your eyes, slick across his lips. he looked wild like this, disheveled, so different from your normal boyfriend, who was almost too sweet for his own good. “i told you this was a punishment.”
even knelt between your legs, this spencer was in complete control. his gaze was locked on yours, watching every tiny movement when he skimmed his thumb across your clit again. your core reignited when you realized what was going on. he was going to force you to cum again.
“please, too much” you whined, free hand pushing the top of his head away in a superficial effort. you couldn’t think properly with the intensity of the overstimulation.
spencer licked his lips, voice gravelly in a tone it only reached when he was purely aroused. “you can take it, honey. i know you can be a good girl for me. don’t you wanna be good?”
you nodded silently. there wasn’t much you could do but let him fuck you stupid.
“that’s it. gonna make you dumb, yeah? i’m gonna fuck you until you can’t think.” his head dipped down, resuming his wet, sloppy kisses to your clit. and with the combined effects of his words and actions, you were cumming again quickly.
you were unabashedly moaning now, jaw slacked open and eyes screwed shut. you were far past the point of caring what you looked like to the man furiously devouring you between your legs. your hand gripped his tighter, feeling his fingers pound a bit harder in acknowledgment.
your second orgasm felt like being catapulted into the atmosphere. it was sharper, practically knocking the air from your lungs. it took you a few moments to stop panting.
spencer grinned up at you, a sight for sore eyes in your clouded vision. “thinking about anything, baby?” he asked. and when he only received a small shake of your head, “good.”
his mouth returned to your core, soft kitten licks causing you to twitch and wince away. he squeezed your hand firmly, giving you a stern look. “only cleaning you up this time, promise.”
once you weren’t dripping arousal down your thighs, spencer pulled you onto him when he sat back down on the couch. all you could focus on were his warm, strong hands tracing sequences on your skin. he loved to imagine binary code, mapping it out on you because he knew the motion calmed you down.
you were barely conscious, brain buzzing like tv static in the post-sex bliss. you heard spencer chuckle to himself before saying, “so i think we’re getting takeout.”
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pathologicalreid · 3 months
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occupational hazard | S.R.
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You and Spencer have a discussion about the dangers of his job.
who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: fluff content warnings: plot discussions from 9x23 (angels) and 9x24 (demons), canon compliant injuries, crying, established relationship word count: 1.23k a/n: thought of this while i couldn't sleep after watching the season 9 finale. also its me. I'm the crier.
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Your mother always said you had a problem with staring. In the grocery store as a kid, she would pull you to the side and tell you that you were being rude. It always confused you because you didn’t think it was possible to be rude without speaking.
Spencer never seemed to mind your staring, he’d ask if everything was alright, but he never really asked you to stop or told you off.
So, while he was over at your apartment, sitting on the couch grading papers, you just stared at him. You studied how his hair fell in front of his face as he scrawled on the printed paper, and how he set his jaw when he noticed a mistake. Your brows furrowed when you noticed a small scar on the side of his neck, a confused noise escaped your throat.
That got his attention, “What’s wrong?” He asked, matching your furrowed brows before setting his pen down.
Cocking your head curiously, you leaned forward to try to look at his neck, “What is that?” You whispered. It was an old scar, so you could only really notice it when the light hit it just right.
“What is what?” He asked, looking behind him and on his shirt like he was looking for a spill.
Gently, you reached out your hand and touched the scar with your fingertips. “Where did you get this scar?” You couldn’t believe you had never noticed it before – the two of you had been dating for more than half a year.
He reached up his hand and met yours, intertwining your hands together, “On a case in Texas.”
Your lips parted slightly as you looked at the scar again. “How did you get that scar on a case in Texas?” You asked, even though you were fairly certain you knew the answer.
Turning, Spencer set all of the papers on the side table before he turned back to face you. “I was shot in the neck,” he answered almost a little too calmly. As if it was just another day in the office, and maybe it was to him.
It certainly wasn’t to you. “What do you mean you got shot in the neck?” You asked, your voice was high and reedy with panic. Fear settled in your chest on behalf of a version of your boyfriend you didn’t even know.
“Hey, hey,” he said in an attempt to calm you down. “I’m okay, this happened almost five years ago, love. I’m fine,” he said, cupping your cheeks with both of his hands.
Your eyes were still wide, like deer in the headlights wide, and you nodded despite yourself. “That’s so scary, Spence,” you whispered as emotion burned in your throat. You knew he worked for the FBI and had for a long time. You knew he had been in love with a girl who was killed in front of him – that’s why he was so protective sometimes. You knew he had been in prison for three months for a crime he didn’t commit – that’s why he taught classes for thirty days. This was the first thing you had figured out – you had told him to tell you everything in his own time.
For a moment, he watched you like he had something he wanted to say but wasn’t sure where to start.
You sat on your heels and retracted your hands from his neck, “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to pry I just… I saw the scar.” Awkwardly settling your hands in your lap, you sighed. “You’re right, it was a long time ago.”
“Wait, what just happened?” He asked dumbfoundedly.
Shrugging, you settled into the couch cushions. “I just saw the scar and I was curious,” you whispered as your eyes burned. “I didn’t… I just mean you don’t owe me an explanation.”
Reaching into your lap, Spencer took one of your hands in his, gently skimming the pad of his thumb over your knuckles. “You can always ask, it’s a fact that my job is dangerous,” he told you softly. “Getting hurt is an occupational hazard. It was never my intention to make you feel like you can’t ask me questions about… Why are you crying?”
You wiped furiously under your eyes at the tears that had flooded your eyes, “because you got shot.”
“You’re crying because I was shot five years ago?” He asked in bewilderment, his tone wasn’t belittling, he was genuinely surprised at your reasoning.
Nodding, you pressed the heels of your hands into your eyes in an attempt to stop your tears. “I am a crier; I cry at everything. Please don’t read into this,” you pleaded, embarrassment flooding your cheeks.
Gently, Spencer pried your hands away from your face, “Please don’t cry. I hate seeing you cry, and I don’t know what to do.”
You shook your head, and your bleary eyes met his, “Really, Spence, I’m fine. I’m just a crier, okay? Sad, happy, mad, I cry.” You looked up at the ceiling light and sniffled, fanning your face in an attempt to dry it off.
He was staring at you, “You are quite possibly the sweetest human being I have ever met.” Spencer reached out and pulled you to him, “Look at me.”
Begrudgingly, you looked at him. “How many times have you been shot?”
“I’m not answering that until you stop crying,” he said, sweeping your hair behind your ears.
That answer did absolutely nothing to comfort you. Huffing, you pressed your lips into a thin white line, “I’m fine,” you whispered, “I’m just crying.”
Spencer smiled at you, “That is an oxymoron, and you know it.” His smile faded, “I’ve been shot three times.”
“Oh my god, Spencer,” you said, dropping your head to his shoulder.
He hummed softly, turning his head to press a kiss to your temple, “Once in the knee, once in the arm, and once in the neck. Please don’t cry.”
You nodded into him, “Yeah, you’re… you’re okay now, right?”
“I’m fine, sweetheart,” he whispered. “Is there anything I can do to help you feel better?” He asked softly, running his hands along your back.
You bury your face in the crook of his neck, “I love you,” you whispered.
His movements falter for just a moment, “I love you too.”
Pulling away and wiping your eyes, “You should finish grading those papers,” you whispered to him, moving away.
Instead of letting you go, Spencer pulled you closer, “I’ll finish tomorrow. I want to be here with you now,” he responded softly. “Are we okay?”
“Your job scares me,” you answered candidly, “but we’re good. We’re great.”
He nodded self-assuredly, “I can’t change the job, but you could meet my team if you wanted to. Maybe meeting them would make you more comfortable with me going out into the field,” he offered. “And maybe I could…” his voice trailed off as he mumbled something else.
Tilting your head curiously, you hummed in an attempt to prod at him, “Maybe you could what?”
“I could make you my emergency contact. If that’s something you’re comfortable with,” he said. “I’ve never really had anyone to add, but I’m sure Emily wouldn’t mind.”
You smiled softly at him, grateful for every bit he let you in, “I would be honored. Just don’t have any emergencies.”
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aethes-bookshelf · 2 months
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let me be your shelter || astarion/gn!tav
This is the result of an especially hectic exam season. I started writing this fic instead of having a meltdown lol Now that I have more time again, I decided to finish it :) I hope you enjoy!
Warnings: hurt/comfort (mostly comfort), gn!Tav (can be read as a self-insert), Tav/Reader is the one being comforted
Pairing: Astarion/Tav, Astarion/Reader
Wordcount: 1.5k
Summary: You’d always tried to be the strong, reliable one — a leader through and through, a shoulder to cry on for everyone else. Even after everything you'd been through, you put on a brave face. All the way up until you couldn't.
Luckily, Astarion's always there to pick up the pieces.
ao3 link
The sun was setting outside when you finally closed the front door of your house behind you, cloaking the entrance corridor in darkness. The straps of your pack were digging quite painfully into your shoulder, no doubt leaving angry marks on your skin. You threw it to the floor with a huff and closed your eyes for a moment,
The day's exhaustion rolled off of you in waves; hours worth of dust and grime stuck to your clothes and skin. Rebuilding the city after the Battle of Baldur’s Gate was a noble cause. It being noble, however, didn’t make it any less exhausting.
You tried running your fingers through your hair, but your hand almost got stuck in it instead. The firm tug against your scalp made your eyes water. Your back was on fire, your legs were on fire, your face was tacky with drying sweat. It was all so much, too much.
Curling up in a corner and staying there until the sun fell out of the sky seemed worryingly appealing. I still have to go back out there tomorrow, though, you thought. The ugly, choking pressure in your throat got tighter and tighter. Your eyes, still clenched shut, brimmed with tears.
‘Darling?’ called a familiar voice from somewhere on the other side of the corridor. ‘Why are you just standing there? At least light a candle or something. It’s not like you can see like this,’ the voice continued, getting closer.
There was the hiss of a match being lit; one, two, three candles lit up the darkness.
‘Well, not that you can see much with your eyes closed, anyway,’ said Astarion. All snark left his voice when he saw the first tears roll down your cheeks. ‘Oh, I wasn’t that mean, was I? Why are you crying, love?’
‘I-I’m sorry.’ Your voice broke. ‘I don’t- don’t know why, I’m just- just so…’ you trailed off as the first sobs tore out of your chest.
Just a few months ago, Astarion would be looking like a deer in headlights right about now. He still remembered the very first time you broke down after the whole Absolute-tadpole nonsense was over. After everyone else went their separate ways and you chose to stay to help rebuild the city and he chose to stay with you. Naturally.
The breakdown happened soon after. The second night the two of you slept in your brand new bed in your brand new house, the dam inside you just broke, shattered into pieces; and you were swept up in the current of the build-up grief and fear.
Astarion, as much as he loathed to admit it, panicked. He had no idea how to comfort people; after all, it wasn’t a skill necessary for survival for most of his life, so he never really bothered to learn it. He still hadn’t even after whatever the two of you shared at first turned more serious. You’d always tried to be the strong, reliable one — a leader through and through, a shoulder to cry on for everyone else. The stable one. The stable one never gets to cry, so you didn’t.
As ashamed as Astarion was when he realized it, he hadn’t even thought you could cry. It just never really crossed his mind.
Luckily for the both of you, he loved you far too much not to learn from his mistakes after that very first night of the rest of your life. He’d like to think he got comforting you down to a science.
‘Would you like a hug, my sweet?’ Step one was almost always physical contact. And not just because holding you became one of his favorite pastimes; rather, it was grounding for you to have something to hold onto when you got like this. Astarion would gladly volunteer to be that something whenever he could.
You didn’t trust your voice enough to answer, so you just nodded instead. You were starting to tremble; rarely a good sign. Whatever stress-induced breakdown was happening would probably be a big one.
Astarion knew better than to try to wrestle you from the spot you were standing in. It would do nothing except agitate you further, so he simply walked up to you and gathered you into his arms.
The moment you were close enough to hide your face in the crook of his neck, the sobs that had been building up inside you this entire time wrecked your body. You were wailing loudly; so loudly you’d be embarrassed if you had enough energy left in you to care.
Astarion winced slightly at first — you were close enough to his ear for it to hurt. Still, he held you closer, firmer. Just enough pressure to help you calm down.
Eventually, your wailing died down to sobbing, and sobbing turned into soft sniffling. He tried to run a hand through your hair; his fingers nearly got stuck in it, just like yours before.
‘Would you say no to a bath, darling?’ he said, voice soft and quiet. ‘I got some new scented oils a few days ago. I even paid for them this time.’
That got a small chuckle out of you. Your throat was raw and your face was even more sticky now; a bath sounded wonderful.
‘I’d rather like a bath, I think.’ Your voice was all scratchy. You’d probably have one hell of a time trying to speak tomorrow.
‘Come on, then.’ Astarion kissed the top of your head and gently pried you away from his neck.
Usually you were the one leading him everywhere; he supposed in moments like these it was his turn to lead you instead. He walked you to the bathroom, holding your hand. And he didn’t even comment on the snot you left on his shirt, which was a great show of understanding on his part — as far as he was concerned — although he did take it off and throw it in the laundry basket as soon as the two of you entered the bathroom. All his love for you didn’t mean he’d be okay running about in a snotted-up shirt.
He sat you down on the floor near the bathtub and filled it with water. He smelled each of the new scented oils with great consideration. The last thing you probably wanted at the moment was having to pick which oil to put in your bath, so he wanted to make the choice for you — and to make the right one.
After the bath was all prepared, Astarion helped you out of your clothes and walked you to the corner of the bathroom, where he washed most of the dirt off your skin. Making sure you could properly relax also meant making sure you wouldn’t be soaking in dirty water, after all.
Soon enough, you were sitting in the bathtub with your eyes closed. Right after helping you inside the bath, Astarion ran off to grab your favorite hairbrush. And now, he busied himself with detangling the mess your hair had become over the course of your day. He talked and talked all the while — about his day, about this awful thief he managed to thwart the other night, about the shopping trip he went on the day before — about everything and nothing, just to keep talking. Just to fill the silence with noise that would drown out your screaming, tired mind. He didn’t expect you to answer; it was enough that you listened.
After your hair was brushed, washed and conditioned, Astarion dried you off and brought you a freshly washed set of pajamas.
‘You need to sleep, darling,’ he said, handing you the clothes. He knew you were far too tired to argue with him on that. As endearing as your usual desire to stay up with him for as long as possible was, you needed rest — badly.
‘Will you stay with me?’ you said. You felt much better now that all the grime was off of you, but the thought of laying in bed alone made you want to cry all over again.
‘As if I’d ever leave,’ scoffed Astarion as he took your hand again, leading you out of the bathroom.
The coldness of his bare chest was a much needed comfort. You nuzzled closer to him as he threw a thick blanket over the two of you. He reached over to his bedside table.
‘I could read for you, if you’d like.’
You mumbled out a ‘yes’. Your eyelids were so very heavy, but the idea of hearing Astarion’s voice rumble in his chest right against your cheek sounded lovely.
He chuckled to himself. ‘You’re adorable when you’re tired.’
He started reading. You weren’t really paying attention to what he was reading, rather to the sound of his voice itself. The individual words and sentences blurred into one, continuous rumble. Listening to him speak felt like falling deeper and deeper into a pile of the softest pillows.
You were out before Astarion could finish the first fifteen pages of the book. He noticed by the end of page twenty. When he did, he gently put away the book and held you tighter against him. And he may or may not have left a few kisses on your forehead, but that’s neither here nor there.
Astarion got comforting you down to a science. And he was damn proud that he was the one you trusted to comfort you in the first place.
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lovely-josuke · 10 months
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❝EUROPEAN NONSENSE — SPIDERVERSE HCS
summary ; hobie with a hispanic girlfriend who loves to cook and makes her food spicy or very seasoned when he doesn’t use seasoning as much.
pairing ; hobie brown x hispanic fem!reader (no specific race stated)
note ; i sometimes forget hobie is british but writing this concept was so much fun to do lmao 😭 thank you anon for this request <3 i just hope our boy really doesn’t just season his stuff with salt only because of that.
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• — hobie brown !
had a cough attack. this was deadass him the first time he tried your cooking.
now, the only reason you made food for him was because you caught what he was eating the day before. it was the most driest, whitest, piece of chicken you’d ever seen. it was so bad, you could hear pavitr crying his heart out all the way from a different dimension about “european nonsense”.
you remember just staring at the chicken on the plate. no seasoning, only salt. the worst part is, he had just drained it from the pot and you could see the steam coming off it. sits down with his knife and fork. you were just staring in disbelief and you asked him while pointing at his so called dinner, “hobie what is this?”
he looks at you and said, “what? have you never seen chicken before?” you don’t know what that thing was but it definitely was not chicken.
tells you that it’s good and you should try it. GOOD? you nearly lost your mind right then and there when he stabbed it with his fork and just bit into it. you’re convinced he’s a psychopath because even you wouldn’t stoop this low.
no way we’re you gonna have your boyfriend eat this for breakfast, lunch, and dinner 🙅🏻‍♂️ not when you know you can cook up the best meal he’d ever have in his entire life. you let him eat that dry chicken though because he needed to suffer for saying it was good.
you had told him to come over for dinner and he’s like “finally i’m gonna get to try your cooking” since you always told him how much you love cooking. actually, hobie starts coughing the minute you open the door for him to come in. hobie had taken a deep breath and was gonna say how nice it smelled before el chile hit him unexpectedly.
never smelled this amount of spice before. you had to open the windows to air the apartment out. you’re use to the smell so it’s not like it bothers you. he’s waiting out in the living room, still coughing and now you know he’s probably doing it on purpose.
you wait until the smell has calm down before you tell him the food is ready. pretends he died from hunger because you took too long. you’re surprised he didn’t choke on the dry chicken.
you decided to make him some empanadas de carne molida y de pollo which, unknown to him, was drenched in salsa roja and seasoned to your liking. you’d had the toppings prepared too. red onions, cilantro, lime, tomatoes, and several other things so he could taste it.
“by the way, i made sure not to make it spicy.” you told him that as you both sat down and he trusted you. which he wished he didn’t. you had two empanadas on his plate, one of each and pointed out which one was which and he went to try the chicken one.
first bite he was fine until the spice kicked in and he just looked at you and started having another cough attack like, “🤨 you’re sure this isn’t spicy?” you had to get him some water and he had to wait a little bit before eating again.
you told him to try it with the salsa you’d made. you did a red one and a green one. and according to you, the green one was the one that wasn’t spicy. naturally, he went for la salsa verde only to be met with a burning sensation far worse from the empanadas.
you had to apologize so many times to him but he told you that it was fine especially since you’re just used to the taste and smell. and it’s not like you did it on purpose. “🤨 or did you?”
after his experience, he doesn’t trust you when you say it’s “not even that spicy”.
but trust me, once he’s hooked, he’s hooked. never sees any kind of food the same. and it’s so hard to make him stop coming over whenever it’s dinnertime.
hobie just knows and he’s crawling through your window in his spider suit asking what you made for the two of you to eat. even has tomatillos and chiles verdes in a small plastic bag so you can make a salsa. meanwhile you’re just standing in the kitchen, knowing you only made enough for yourself.
you ended up having to teach him how to season his food. he prefers yours ten times more though so yes, he still shows up for dinner.
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runnning-outof-time · 3 months
Note
Congratulations, I adore your story!!
Could you please do 23 with angst and then fluff? Thank you so much I appreciate it!💕
Thanks so much for sending this in, anon! I’m so happy you like my stories! I decided to go with Tommy for the character and chose “I don’t want to go.” for the prompt because it was the 5 word #23. I hope you don’t mind that. Enjoy! :)
I’D LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! - YOUR COMMENTS & REBLOGS HELP ME WRITE!
Part of my 3.5k Celebration — find more stories here!
To Keep You Safe
Tommy Shelby x Reader
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Warnings: season 4 spoilers (like right from the jump), language
Word Count: 1042
Summary: (Y/N) and Tommy discuss the decision to have her go into hiding while the war with the Changrettas rages on.
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Things were heating up in the vendetta between the Shelbys and the Changrettas. What both sides thought would be a quick battle had now turned into a full-on war. And after Luca managed to get to Michael in his hospital bed and try to get him to switch sides, Tommy was convinced that no one was safe.
He called a family meeting. He arranged it in the morning and it was set for that evening. The air in the room was so thick with tension that you could practically cut it with a knife. (Y/N) noted that they were currently in the midst of a thunderstorm, which she had a feeling was foreshadowing for what was to be talked about.
And oh boy was she right. Things were quiet between her and Tommy that night. Neither of the two spoke a word to the other before they both went to sleep.
(Y/N) didn’t really sleep much though. No matter how many times she wished it wouldn’t, tomorrow still came.
Soon enough, there was a man in a car sitting outside their Watery Lane home.
“I don’t want to go,” (Y/N) huffed as she crossed her arms. She was aware of how much she sounded like their three year old daughter, but she quite frankly didn’t care.
“You have to, love,” Tommy insisted, not wanting this to turn into something bigger than it had to be.
“Why?” she asked, her one eyebrow quirking upward.
“Don’t fucking start…” he trailed off with a sigh.
“You owe me a reason, Thomas. I’m not just going to be shipped off into the fucking wilderness for no fucking reason,” she harped on, sharing her feelings about the decision that had been made — essentially without her consent — the night prior.
“You know why,” he told her, insisting it was common sense.
“Enlighten me anyway,” she shrugged.
“(Y/N).”
“Tommy.”
“It’s to keep you safe!” he finally came out with it, his voice raising as his eyes went wide, showing the frustration and stress he was currently under. “It’s to keep you fucking safe.”
(Y/N) was taken back by his outburst, but she really should have expected it. She was poking a bear; a powder keg that was bound to explode sooner or later. “You’re keeping me safe here, though. And besides, it was agreed between the both of you: no civilians. No women or children,” she pointed out in a softer voice, recalling the rules of the vendetta that he’d told her a few weeks prior.
“Yeah, I know that was agreed upon,” Tommy started, nodding as a sigh escaped his lips, “but with how things are going…we need to expect everything. And I can’t have you get taken by him or his men as a way to get me. So I need you to go. Just for a little while.”
Silence fell between them as she took a minute to think things over. The last thing she wanted to do was leave Tommy’s side while all of this was going on.
“I don’t want to leave you, Tommy,” was the next thing she said. She couldn’t get through the sentence without choking up, tears brimming up in her eyelids.
Tommy exhaled a breath before he closed the short distance between them, taking her into his arms just as her body began to shake from her sobs. “It’ll just be a little while, love,” he spoke in a soft voice, his chin rested on the top of her head as he rubbed her back in a comforting manner.
They stood like that for a few minutes. (Y/N) had no shame in crying into her husband’s suit coat. She didn’t want to let him go and leave because she was afraid that this would be the last time she’d see him.
“Hey, the car’s waiting outside,” Tommy was the one to speak first. He loosened his hold on her as he did, moving his hands to her shoulders so that he could bring her out at arms length.
“I know,” (Y/N) nodded, sniffling as she wiped her tears away. “I’ll miss you, Tommy,” she added then, looking at him with watery eyes.
“I’ll miss you too, love,” he responded without a second thought, raising one hand to run it down her cheek.
“Make sure you go visit the kids for me…or at least send Pol or someone if you think it’s too risky,” she added, thinking of her children who were currently residing at her parents’ home.
“I will,” he assured her with a nod.
(Y/N) took a moment to look at her husband then, making sure she could commit every part of him to memory. She didn’t know when she’d see him next. Her bottom lip began to quiver as that thought stuck in her mind.
“It’s just a little while,” Tommy repeated what he’d said to her before.
“I know,” she nodded, holding back the tears. “I love you.”
“I love you,” he repeated the phrase, leaning in and pressing his lips to hers. (Y/N) held him there, making their embrace as long as it could possibly be. But eventually she had to pull away, and as she did, she finally decided it was time. “I should go.”
“I’ll come get you when this is finished,” he promised her, their eyes locked as he spoke.
“Just stay alive,” she said to him, sending one last smile her way before they finally broke their embrace so that she could grab her things.
Tommy ushered her outside and made sure she got into the vehicle. He then gave the driver and his accomplice strict instructions on what to do. After sending one last smile to (Y/N), he let them go and headed back inside.
He took two steps away from the door and placed his hands onto the side table sitting there so that he could brace himself as he leaned back against it. He tipped his head back and closed his eyes for a moment, his family flashing in his mind. Then he released the breath he’d been holding and stared straight ahead. This vendetta would be finished soon, and he’d make damn sure of it.
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**tags are in a reblog, so that hopefully the notification gets sent
MASTERLIST
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digitaldiarystuff · 4 months
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For Better, For Worse
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summary: Pablo was having possibly the worst week of his life, first he broke up with his girlfriend to focus on his career and then he got injured during a spain game possibly needing a surgery. What do you do when you find out?
pairing: Pablo Gavi x Y/N
genre: angst/ fluff
warnings: mentions of injury and surgery
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When your phone started ringing at this late hour, you knew this couldn’t be good. It was 2 a.m. and your heart sunk as you read the name ‘Aurora’ on it.
“Hey.” you said concerned.
“Hi Y/N were you asleep?” she asked and her voice was pretty upset.
“No it’s okay.” you lied. “Is everything okay?”
“I know this is selfish and I’m sorry but-“ she trailed off. “It’s Pablo, he’s injured and not in good shape. I know you guys broke up but I don’t know what I can do to make this better for him he’s been crying for hours now and they say he may need a surgery as soon as possible.” she started crying which would’ve broke your heart but your mind went blank as soon as you heard Pablo’s injury. You knew spain had a game against georgia today but didn’t watch it knowing it would only upset you more.
Pablo broke up with you the week prior to focus on his career and you were in complete shock ever since, your schedules were hard to keep up with but you were willing to work on it, he wasn’t and now learning he was going to need surgery broke your heart so much.
“Are you guys at his place? I’m on my way.” you said and she thanked you over and over again.
Although you were pretty upset with him, there was no way you’d leave him in this state. You knew Pablo wouldn’t probably want to talk to anyone but you needed to be there for him at his worst. You still loved him so much. You didn’t realize you had tears falling from your eyes in the taxi, worried sick. You opened twitter and saw all the videos of him being escorted out of the pitch with pain written all over his face. It was incredibly painful to watch and you couldn’t even imagine what he’s going through.
As soon as you paid the driver you got out and practically ran to the gate of his house, calling Aurora to tell her you’re there. It was pretty late you didn’t want to bother if anyone’s sleeping though it’s highly unlikely.
She came to the door with puffy eyes and hugged you tight.
“Thank you so much for coming.”
“Of course” you said. “Where’s he?”
“He’s in his room but won’t open the door.” she answered and you ran up the stairs not even bothering taking your jacket off.
You knocked a couple of times before he replied.
“Go away I don’t want anyone.”
You knocked again but he didn’t respond this time.
“Pablo, it’s me.” you said slowly hoping this would work.
You heard wheels inside the room and he finally unlocked it allowing you to see him in a wheelchair.
Your eyes immediately watered seeing his state and it’s obvious he was also crying for hours. You kneeled down and looked up at him, he looked like a baby right now with bloodshot eyes and trembling lips. You held his hands and hugged him avoiding his legs and he held you tight, crying into your hair. He didn’t even ask you anything just enjoyed your touch and affection.
He finally wheeled himself into the room and you followed after. Pablo carefully sat on the bed while you sat on the armchair next to it. You asked him what happened and he explained everything down to the possibility of the surgery and not playing for the season. You tried your best to console him and after an hour, his tears dried and he calmed down a little.
“So, did Aurora call you?” he asked
“Yes, I hope that’s okay.” you said
“Okay? That’s the only thing that could calm me tonight. I owe her a thank you.” he chuckled and this was a first for tonight. Your heart fluttered seeing his smile and suddenly realized you were supposed to be broken up even though it doesn’t feel like it.
“I’ll be with you every step of the way” you said “Of course if you’ll let me.”
“I’m an idiot. I’m an idiot to do this to you and here you are.”
“Don’t say that”
“But I am.” he said defeated.
“You kind of are.” you said earning yourself another chuckle.
“I missed your laugh.” he confessed.
“So did I. But you need to rest now.”
“Will you stay with me?” he asked like a child and you knew there isn’t anything in the whole world you wouldn’t do for him.
“If you want me to.” you said “I can sleep on the couch.” you said.
“No.” he pouted “I need to hold you.”
“Pablo there’s no way I’m getting in a bed with you, I could hurt your leg.” you said and he thought for a moment.
“Just till I fall asleep” he bargained and you didn’t protest. You needed him as much as he needed you. You sat against the headboard as his face was on your neck, you held him with your arms, he looked so sleepy.
“Will you be here when I wake up?” he asked groggily.
“I’ll always be here, for better or worse.” you answered as his eyes closed.
Pablo fell asleep like that in your arms as you watched his face. He looked like an angel from this angle. You smiled to yourself, tried to put his head on a pillow and wiggle out of the bed without waking him up making yourself comfortable on the couch. You soon felt sleepy as your eyes closed.
After you fell asleep Aurora wanted to check in on you guys and opened the door slowly finding you both asleep, smiling to herself she left the room.
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rinhaler · 4 months
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THERE'S NOBODY HERE
CHAPTER SUMMARY: So you're trapped in a cabin with your hot ex who you haven't seen in months as well as his hot friends. Now what? Party and make him jealous, of course.
ex-fiancé!rin x f!reader
WARNINGS : 18+, alcohol consumption, oui'd smoking, shotgunning, lots of flirting, sex talk/discussions, squirting mention, dry humping?? (grinding while dancing), rejection, pet names (baby, princess).
WORDS : 8.6k
notes : this series may be a flop but I like it 😭🫶🏽
       LAST CHAPTER┊MASTERLIST ┊ NEXT CHAPTER
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Rin’s eyes lower from staring up at you, instead focusing on talking to his brother and the other guests as he comes into the cabin and finally shuts the door behind himself. They’re all catching up, it’s plain to see how close they all are and how happy they are to see each other.
Even Rin looks uncharacteristically happy to see everyone. Usually, the only thing on his mind is football and training. Maybe the holiday season is bringing out this new side of him.
Though you can’t help but feel a little nauseated. You know Sae is just as surprised to see him as you are, but still, if you trusted your better judgement, you wouldn’t have come just in case this happened. Your fingers curl around the banister tightly as you try to steel yourself.
“I can’t believe this.” you whisper to Chigiri, who runs a soft palm soothingly across your back.
“Come on.” he tilts his head towards the top of the stairs, suggesting you go and reassess the situation in the safety of your bedroom. He leads the way, and you follow hurriedly, not getting the chance to see Rin glance up at you disappearing. “It’s giving main character.” Chigiri can’t help but smirk as he shuts the door behind you both.
“It’s giving… I’m fucked.” you laugh back before screaming into a pillow. You pull it away, your hair messed up a little before Chigiri puts it back into place for you. “I literally can’t believe this is happening. So much for no Rin talk all week!”
“Oh fuck, I know. So much for a rebound, too.” he sighs. You do a fake little cry before genuinely groaning in distress as he thinks. “I mean, you could still do it, but it’ll just end up causing drama.”
“Yeah no way, maybe we should leave?” you suggest, and he doesn’t argue. It might be for the best, it’s an uncomfortable, unexpected change in circumstance and both of you can’t help but feel less welcome. “They’re his friends. We were only invited because he wasn’t supposed to be coming.”
“Plus we can spend the week together anyway since you managed to get out of seeing your parents.”
“Right!” you nod excitedly. “Okay, wanna help me pack and then I’ll help you?”
“Sure. But I don’t need help and I know you won’t help anyway.” he chides, laughing softly as he stands tall and looks around thinking about where to start.
Really, nothing gets done. You talk about packing, but you both end up sitting on top of the bed and gossiping more about what happened.
Rin Itoshi is here.
And you haven’t seen him since the breakup. That awful, painful breakup. Enough time has passed that the memory doesn’t feel as raw. But Christ it still hurts. You can still feel the way tears pricked at your eyes and flooded your lash line as you broke things off with him. They cascaded downwards with no sign of stopping as Rin begged and pleaded, sobbing to give him another chance.
You wanted to.
You remember how agonising it felt to deny him that chance. The fear in his eyes as he realised things weren’t going to be fixed with words and he really was losing you forever. The exact moment his heart broke into pieces will be etched in your mind for the rest of your life. The pain of that vision has dulled but is ever present.
And seeing him, now, look at you with such little care is like a knife tearing into your flesh. His lack of smile is like salt and bleach pouring into a fresh wound.
You do your best to hide a fresh tear rolling down your cheek from Hyoma, but it’s too late. He sits up on the bed and leans over to you to wipe it away. And you know what’s coming, a classic pep talk from him that always make you feel better. Even if he can be harsh, he always knows best.
Just as he’s about to speak, though, the door swings open.
“Oh, sorry, I didn’t— are you two a thing now?”
You shake your head, trying to conceal your red, watery eyes from Rin as he stands in the doorway. Hyoma objects. A little too much for your liking. But there isn’t a single indication of jealousy or relief as Rin listens to him speak.
The thought of you moving on doesn’t faze him at all.
“You’re in my room.” Rin tells you, and you nod.
“Rin! I was just about to tell you that your rooms been taken, you’ll have to—” Sae follows his brother into the room, looking at you with a slight look of sorrow as he can tell how upset you are. And if Sae has noticed, Rin definitely has.
“We’ll be gone soon.” you try to sniffle discreetly. You can’t bear looking at Rin, but your eyes meet his brothers as he cocks his head in confusion. “We were just about to pack and head home. You can have your room back, sorry.” you explain. The brothers watch you as you walk over to the wardrobe and begin collecting your clothes, and you’re thankful for the opportunity to hide your face and wipe your shimmering cheeks.
“You’re not serious, are you?” Sae asks, and all you can do is nod. “Rin was going to take the couch.”
“Was I?” he raises an eyebrow and grimaces at his brother who returns a scathing glare back at him. “Don’t leave on my account. I thought we were going to be mature about this.”
“This is being mature, Rin.” you sigh, finally looking at him. “This is your house. Your friends. It’s okay, it makes more sense for us to leave.”
“Chigiri, talk to her.” Sae requests, only to end up disappointed when Chigiri confesses that he agrees with you. He sighs, but tries to think of a solution. “Look, it’s gonna get dark soon. At least wait until morning? You’ve only been here for an hour or so, and you were excited for this. Things don’t have to change.” he reasons, watching you and Hyoma share a look as you consider it.
“It’s a long drive… icy roads… and he’s right about it getting dark.” Chigiri says to you, quietly, though the brothers can hear. You look at all of them as you think, but you focus on Chigiri as he continues. “Why don’t you move your stuff into my room and then Rin can have his own room?” he suggests.
You sigh, nodding. He starts helping you bring your clothes into his room rather than packing them away, and Rin drags his suitcase into his own room so he can unpack when you’re done.
Sae helps with your stuff, too, sticking around in Chigiri’s room to make sure you’re okay.
“I hope you don’t think I’m setting you up or anything…” he tells you, “I swear he told me he wasn’t coming. He actually told me he’d rather break both of his legs than come here.”
“It’s okay, Sae, I know. I trust you.” you smile at him. Him and Chigiri work well as a team, pretty much taking over and not allowing you to lift a finger as they help you transfer your things to his room. “I still feel like I shouldn’t be here. I don’t feel great and I’m probably going to ruin the mood.”
“Not possible, Rin is the biggest buzzkill without trying.” he laughs, picking up the golden glittery dress Chigiri had noticed earlier. “We’re having a party tonight, definitely wear this.” Sae tells you, handing it to you.
You model in front of the standing mirror in the corner of the room and hold the garment up against your body. It’ll definitely turn some heads, for sure. And even if you can’t actually hook up with anyone, you’re sure you’ll get some attention either way.
“I’m going to town for another booze run, wanna come, Chigiri?” Sae asks, turning focus from you to your friend. Chigiri looks at you inquisitively, like he’s asking permission, but you only shrug.
“I should shower and start getting ready for tonight, anyway!” you tell him. “But you better be back in time to do my hair.” you poke out your tongue.
“Ugh you take forever.” he sighs, heading for the exit with Sae. “Go, go.” he mutters, walking ahead of him until he’s completely out of sight and down the stairs.
“Otoya is coming with us,” Sae tells you. “Ryusei will keep you company if you get lonely.” he smiles, leaving you alone with your thoughts and allowing you to ruminate on the fact you’re stuck in a house with your ex.
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Chigiri isn’t back by the time you get out of the shower. You rush across the hall, a little deflated that you’ve downgraded to a room without an ensuite. Though you’re sure everyone is downstairs, your adrenaline is through the roof at the thought of being seen in just a towel.
You make it back to your room unseen, however, locking the door behind you when you get inside. You’ll have to hurry and get dressed in case Chigiri comes back. You’re sure he’s seen you naked countless times through your friendship when you’re too hammered to care, but the thought of him walking in on you with nothing on is too embarrassing to even think about.
YOU: are u still out?
CHIGIRI: yeah we’re heading back now tho
You put your phone away and start to lather yourself in all of your lotions and potions. You’re sure he’ll comment on how overpowering the smell of strawberries and coconut is when he returns but you can’t find it in you to care. You feel so smooth and sweet and invigorated.
There’s a short and vest pyjama set plaguing your mind that you bought brand new that you’re itching to wear. Though when you strip yourself of your towel, you realise you should have brought a dressing gown.
It makes you think about Ryusei.
You’re sure there’s a spare in his ensuite, or if not a spare, he might let you borrow his. You unlock the door to your room once you’re dressed in your barely there loungewear, shivering a little as water still drips and spills across your skin.
The corridor with each room is bare as you look up and down. Though as you walk towards where Sae said Ryusei’s room would be, you spot Rin poke his head out of his bedroom. He sees you, too, barely glancing at you for more than a moment before he goes back inside of his room.
Your stomach churns, nerves getting the better of you. But your eyes soon light up when you see Ryusei leave his own room. You want to call out to him, to run towards him, but he disappears just as quickly when he follows Rin into his room.
It makes you pause, unsure of what to do. You don’t particularly want to see Rin again, but you’d quite like to catch up with Ryusei.
You take a breath, and slowly approach. The door is ajar, though you don’t feel confident enough to reveal yourself. Instead, you rest against the wall. It’s not like you’re eavesdropping, you’re just working up the courage to talk to him.
“Crazy that she’s here.” Ryusei laughs. They’re talking about you, you realise. You slow your breathing and actively make the effort to listen in on their conversation, now. It’s icky and invasive and you hate yourself for it. But you can’t help yourself. You want to know what they’re thinking. Both of them. “How’re you feelin’ about it?”
“Well—” he stops, thinking. It goes silent for a while, and he begins moving around the room. It makes your heart race. Does he know you’re there? Is he about to close the door? You inhale a slow, silent breath, holding it in your lungs for as long as possible. “I’m seeing someone… so I don’t really care.”
“You are? You kept that quiet!”
“You never asked.” Rin responds without missing a beat. “We’re also not friends.”
Ryusei laughs at him, though he isn’t sure if he’s joking or not. They’re friends, right? They talk often enough, and Rin probably sees Ryusei more than he sees his own brother. They hang out a lot outside of practices and games, so he doesn’t doubt that they’re friends, despite what Rin says.
You feel your heart stop beating, you swear.
For the first time, maybe ever, Chigiri was wrong. Rin is seeing someone. He actually moved on. You can’t be mad; you have no right to be mad. Not when you ended things. If you cared about him so much, you wouldn’t have broken his heart. He has every right to move on, and so you do.
Though you can’t stop the way your heart aches. The way it bleeds each time it beats, it’s scarring with every thump. You feel the lashing of a whip lacerating it as it does all it can to keep you alive.
But you’ve died inside.
You can’t help the way your throat suffocates itself with a lump in a desperate bid to gain more oxygen. Your eyes are full. They’re wet and pitiful as you come to terms with the news. Maybe you thought you’d find your way back to each other one day.
After the breakup, he didn’t bother you at all. He took it terribly in the moment. But after, he seemed to shut down completely. Everything was so methodical and planned. He arranged to have his stuff moved out by movers and requested you wouldn’t be there. It was quick and seamless, and you never heard from him again after that.
It hurt.
It stung, in fact.
But in your mind, you hoped that things would change. Even up until now, you hoped you would both grow as people and maybe one day find each other again. You’d be ready to grow up and be who you each needed to be so that you could be together in the right way.
But that can’t happen, now.
You were too hopeful that he’d change for you.
You just gave him the freedom to be someone else’s.
The wood floor creaks as you try and stealthily sneak away, and it doesn’t go unnoticed by Rin or Ryusei. You hear Ryusei question if someone is there, and it makes everything worse. You quickly try and disguise your tears before you reveal yourself, pretending to be on the phone as you stand in the doorway.
“Sorry I was just talking to my dad and pacing around! Bye!” you tell them, hurrying away before either of them can call you out on it. You aren’t sure if they realised you were listening in, and truthfully, you don’t want to know. If either of them were to ask you, you think you’d have a breakdown.
You rush back to Chigiri’s room and lock the door behind you, and for a while, you manage to keep composed. Tears are flowing and you feel horrible about the situation, but you’re surprisingly calm.
“Hey, kiddo,” you hear a soft knock at the door. “Can I come in?” Ryusei asks. And that is when you begin to sob.
You go to the door and unlock it, opening it wide and allowing him to see your puffy eyes and soaking cheeks. He tuts, sorrowfully, wiping your cheeks with his thumbs as he enters the room. He closes the door behind himself again and locks it before guiding you to the bed.
The tears don’t stop, and he keeps wiping them away for you. It hurts. God, it fucking hurts. If you had some hindsight and known he’d move on this quickly, you never would have ended things. You’re realising a lot about the breakup and what a big mistake you’ve made, now. And it’s stupid and selfish and you hate yourself for it.
You know you weren’t happy at the time.
But you were a lot fucking happier than you are right now.
“You heard, then?” he asks. “What were you doin’? Eavesdropping doesn’t seem like you.”
“I— I wasn’t. Not really… I didn’t mean to.” you try to explain, still stuttering and sniffling through your words. He coos and shushes you, trying to calm you down so that you can speak and think clearly. He urges you to take deep breaths, and finally, you can explain. “I was coming to see you and then I saw you go into Rin’s room so I got nervous and hid.”
“Ah,” he nods. “Well, what did you want to see me for?”
“I just… wanted to know if you had a spare dressing gown.” you tell him half of the truth, the other half glued to your tongue and unwilling to be shared. Though his smile, his cheeky, almost intimidating smirk has you folding for him and confessing the rest. “’n I missed you, thought we could catch up.”
He pulls you into his arms and squeezes tight. He can’t even begin to tell you how much he’s missed you. Of course, you’re all busy doing your own thing, but he got to see you way more when you were dating Rin.
You have no idea how much he cherishes those moments you came with them when they travelled to away games. The pranks you played with him and the nights you spent up watching movies and learning more about each other.
He’s never crossed a line with you, ever.
But that doesn’t mean he hasn’t thought about it.
Rin is one of his closest friends. And, at the time, you were his. He’d never dream of making a move on you. He wouldn’t want to ruin his friend’s relationship and break the trust between them.
You withdraw from his hug, though. Your eyes shimmer and twinkle as they look into his wantonly. They’re so flirtatious yet stern in comparison to how wet and desperate your own look. The tension between you is rife, and you swear the only thing that can be heard is the way your heart pounds.
He doesn’t expect you to lean forward.
He doesn’t expect you to tilt your head and close your eyes as your face gets closer to his.
It takes him aback, his eyes widening in shock as he realises what you’re doing. His hands fly to your shoulders, and he pulls away from you, keeping you at arm’s length. You feel every organ plummet through your body as you realise what an idiot you are.
“Oh my God.” you sigh, moving away from him and covering your hands over your mouth in horror. How could you be so stupid? You’re stone cold sober and don’t have a single excuse to fall back on. You just threw yourself at him, and he didn’t give you any indication that he was interested.
“Hey, it’s okay! You’re just hurting, and I’m here.” he starts, getting closer to you and putting an arm around you before you shrug him off and walk away. “Things don’t need to be weird, baby, I understand.”
You scoff, looking at him briefly before your eyes fill with tears again at the sheer embarrassment. He stands up, desperate to hold you. To console you. But you don’t let him. Keeping him away as far as possible as you move away from him and push him, almost angrily.
A turn of the handle at the bedroom door makes you both freeze. The following knock at the door forces you to look at him.
“Don’t tell anyone.” you request, eyes pleading with him as you begin to panic.
He doesn’t speak, heading to the door to see who’s there. You’re relieved when it swings open, it’s Chigiri. He looks a little surprised to see you in your scanty pyjamas with Ryusei in the room. The latter of the men doesn’t say a word as he slips by him. Not uttering a sound or even looking at him as he goes back to his own room.
Chigiri comes in, quickly, locking the door again and setting down the shopping bag.
You see two glasses in his hand, quickly grabbing them and setting them down as he pulls out a bottle of rosé wine from the shopping bag. He holds it up, raising a brow, asking a silent question of whether you want to start the party early or not.
“Pour the drinks, bitch.” you tell him. He laughs, screwing off the lid as you grab your makeup bag and a few different eyeshadow palettes from your suitcase.
“Do I even want to know?” he wonders, holding your glass out to you. You take it from his hand as you walk by and sit at the dressing table with your makeup. He circles around you, grabbing his hair dryer so he can start doing your hair at the same time.
“I tried to kiss him.” you smile, sarcastically. “Tried being very important, because he was horrified. He couldn’t keep me far enough away, Hyoma.”
“Well… you are his friends ex, babe. Give him some credit.” Hyoma tries to reason. “There’s no way he wouldn’t kiss you back otherwise.”
“Oh! Speaking of my ex, he’s seeing someone.” you start laughing hysterically before fanning your hands in front of your face to try and stop yourself from crying. “Remember,” you laugh-cry again, “remember when you said he’s too focused on work to move on? Hahaha!” you continue, grabbing your wine glass and drinking every last drop.
“Oh boy.” Chigiri speaks, downing his own glass before topping them both up. Admittedly, you feel way calmer as he starts brushing your hair. His soft hands raking through your locks almost sends you to sleep. “Who told you?”
“No one, I accidentally overheard. Not that it matters.” you shrug. “We’re definitely leaving tomorrow. I can’t do this.”
“Fine.” he shrugs. “You know what you can do, though? Wear that slutty little dress you bought and give him a show. You’re literally a model, babe. What are the odds he’s found a hotter girlfriend than you? I bet she’s ugly.” Hyoma smiles.
God, he’s the best. He knows exactly the right thing to say every time you’re in distress. You wish you could offer the same support to him. But honestly, his life is pretty well put together. He rarely gets involved in drama. And even when he does, he always knows how to get himself out of it.
“Gonna get your hair looking perfect, okay? Wear that dress, grind on the guys, get wasted. And then tomorrow we can dip.” he explains, and you nod. “Who cares if he’s dating someone? You think he won’t get jealous if you dry fuck his friends?”
“No, you’re right.” you tell him before taking another drink. You aren’t sure if you’re feeling genuine confidence or if the blush pink liquid is rushing straight to your head. It doesn’t matter, though. Everything he’s saying is true. And you’re ready and raring to go. “He was so possessive when we were together.”
He nods, and you both clink your glasses together as you seem to have a solid plan prepared to set in motion.
Although, it’s half-baked as best.
Time flies as you get ready. Your makeup is settled on your face to perfection and Chigiri finishes off your hair, making sure there isn’t a strand out of place. He applauds as he admires his handiwork. He reaches for the bottle of wine, realising it’s empty as he goes to pour himself another glass.
“Fuck sake.” he mutters. He watches you as you stand up, the two of you finally notice the sound of loud music playing from downstairs as the room falls silent. You do a little dance as you strip down to nothing, not caring about your present company. “Oh we’re doing this.” he exclaims, turning away on instinct.
“Oh fuck I’m sorry, I forgot.” you laugh, and now you realise you’re definitely at the very least tipsy. He laughs too, noting how confident you are as you stand completely bare in front of him. It’s something you’re used to, honestly. Doing runway shows gives you no room to be embarrassed about your natural form. But for whatever reason, Chigiri makes you feel shy unless you’re drunk.
“I can’t believe you got a Hollywood wax you whore.” he laughs. “Trying to act like you weren’t trying to fuck but you were prepared!”
“You never know, Chigs~!” you sing a little as you walk to the wardrobe to grab the golden dress. You slip into it with ease. You aren’t allowing it to wear you, though. It’s yours and you own it. There is no doubt that you are the one wearing it, dominating it like it was created for your body and yours alone. “I can still hook up, y’know? We’re leaving tomorrow. Who cares if I stir the pot?” you shrug.
“Listen, if you call me Chigs one more time I’m gonna suffocate you with a pillow in your sleep.” he warns you, and you giggle as you slip into your high heels. He doesn’t dispute your point, though. This might be the last time you see any of these guys. Rin has moved on, and there’s no reason you can’t too. And while you’re at it, you may as well burn every bridge in the process.
“Let’s party.” you wink, opening the door.
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You’re greeted to a cacophony of cheers and wolf whistles as you descend the staircase. The boys are scattered around. A few of them in the kitchen, while the others are in the lounge.
Otoya curls his finger from the kitchen, inviting you over to hang out with him and the others. You look over your shoulder towards the lounge. Ryusei and Rin are staring at you with an intense gaze. Of course there’s a chance Ryusei told him that you threw yourself at him, but you’re choosing to believe they’re admiring how hot you look instead.
“You look stunning.” Eita tells you, offering you a puff of his J as he holds it in front of your face. It’s been a while since you got high. You stopped when you started dating Rin, and you didn’t feel the need to pick it back up when you broke up. But, now, you have nothing to lose.
“Thank you.” you smile, accepting the weed and the compliment. You admire the lights as they change colour quickly, making you feel like you’re at a club. You immediately sink into a bar stool as you feel the drugs take hold of your body, weariness hitting you instantly.
Karasu lights another blunt and hands it to Chigiri, who smokes without hesitation.
“Do you want a drink?” Sae asks you both, looking between you as you get more and more comfortable in the group. Chigiri nods, walking around the counter to help him.
He knows what you like, after all.
“She looks fucking amazing.” Oliver comments, standing up from between Ryusei and Rin before he heads over to join all of the action in the kitchen. “Hi gorgeous,” he whispers in your ear as he places his hand in the small of your back. You smile, cheerfully, resting your body into his as he holds you close.
“Pace yourself.” Chigiri warns you, sliding your drink to you. You sniff it, realising he’s poured you some Malibu and coke into a cup. His warning goes ignored, however, as you drink two thirds of the drink before setting it down.
“I’m fucked.” you laugh, staggering a little as you walk beside Chigiri to get another drink. He looks concerned, but leaves you be for now. It takes all of your power not to look over to the only two men not hanging out with you right now. “Are they looking?” you whisper to Chigiri.
He looks, quickly.
“Mhmm.”
Your smile widens and you can’t help but laugh. Hyoma snatches the bottle from you as you go to pour a new drink. Oliver passes your original cup to you, and you beam as you remember you hadn’t finished it, though it’s gone in an instant.
“Real party girl, aren’tcha?” Karasu asks, putting his arm around your shoulder and forcing his blunt into your mouth. “You’ll be asleep before midnight I bet.” he challenges you.
You ignore him, turning to face him.
His eyes widen in realisation as he notices you’re keeping the smoke deep in your lungs. He closes the gap between your faces and his lips rest against yours, accepting the smoke back as you exhale it.
“Fuuuck, am I in love?” Karasu laughs as the exchange ends. He turns away, biting his lip slightly as you bend over the counter and rest your head in your hands. The skirt of your dress rides up a little, and Chigiri graciously tugs it down for you.
“Babe, stop,” he warns you, leaning over to whisper in your ear. “You’re gonna end up passing out.”
You gulp, nervously, feeling anxious under Chigiri’s intense eyes. You know he’s only looking out for you, but you can’t help feeling a little on edge. Sae comforts you, though, pulling you into his side like a protective big brother as he asks how you’re doing.
“Having fun?”
“Yes! Thanks for inviting us.” you smile.
“Glad you wore this one, suits you.” he nods. You watch him as he smokes beside you, and you decline when he offers you a puff. Chigiri, however, gratefully accepts without even being asked. Sae leaves your side in favour of sitting next to your best friend as they talk and bond over the joint.
You aren’t sure what to do, now. You feel a little deflated after Chigiri’s warning and you aren’t sure what to do with yourself. It seems like you shouldn’t drink or smoke anymore, but you’re brimming with so much energy you don’t particularly want to sit down.
“Hey, c’mere.” Eita orders, Oliver sits down next to him upon his request.
And when you approach, that is when Ryusei finally decides to come over. He smiles at everyone, but can’t seem to catch your attention as you’re too fixated on the two men with different tints of green in their hair.
Eita stands up when you hoist yourself onto the counter, and he slots himself between your open legs. Ryusei watches the scene unfold, anger bubbling at his jawline as he contemplates whether to intervene or not. His protective side roaring at him to get you away from the renowned playboys.
“Let her be.” Chigiri tells him, noticing his irritation. Ryusei sits down opposite to him, leaning over to chat quietly amongst themselves. Sae listens in, too, but only because he’s in close proximity. “I heard what happened. Did you tell Rin?”
“No, I didn’t.” Ryusei answers, though he doesn’t look happy about it. It feels like a betrayal to hide something so big from his friend, but he knows nothing good will come from sharing. “Oliver and Eita, they’re—”
“It doesn’t matter. It’s none of your business. She’s not looking for a boyfriend, she’s letting her hair down. So, whatever you’re planning, stop. Let her have fun. If you wanted her, you should have—” Chigiri stops himself when he remembers Sae is right beside him. He looks over at you, still being showered in attention by Eita and Oliver.
“Do you have feelings for my ex-sister-in-law, Ryusei?” Sae asks, laughing lightly before passing him the gross remainder of his blunt. Ryusei shrugs, smoking.
“’s complicated.” Ryusei announces, uncaring. He’s sure nothing that is discussed here tonight will be remembered come morning. “Rin! Get off your phone and come over!”
Rin flips him off and continues playing on his phone. You’re a little disappointed, but it can’t be helped. Karasu sits on the other side of Chigiri while Sae shuffles a deck of cards.
“Set up ring of fire, dude.”
“Ring of fire sucks.” you yell over your shoulder, though you giggle when Otoya’s fingers gently caress your chin and force you back to look at him. Oliver pours three shots for all of you, handing them to you and his friend. You drink them together, giggling even more when you feel the buzz rush right into your brain.
“What drinking games do you like, sweetheart?” Oliver asks, his hand resting on your thigh while his thumb softly strokes your skin.
You tell them that you like never have I ever the best, prompting Sae to call Rin over. Then, and only then, does he actually listen. Chigiri makes sure everyone has a drink, pouring something random for Rin as he takes a seat next to Ryusei and opposite to his brother.
It’s nice seeing the kitchen island so lively. In a weird way, you feel like a teenager again. Finding out someone’s parents are out of town and having a big, debaucherous house party while you play drinking games and get too fucked up to even know where you are.
Obviously you’re grown, now. And you like to think you’re a bit more responsible than you were back then. Though it’s likely it might just be Chigiri keeping you on the right path. He shoots a smile at you as Eita helps you down from the counter. Oliver moves one seat along and you sit between them, his arm is around the back of your chair while Eita’s hand remains firmly on your thigh.
“Who’s going first?” Ryusei asks.
“I’ll go, let’s start easy.” Karasu answers. “Never have I ever ate food.” you all laugh and everyone takes a drink. He nudges Chigiri to go next.
“Never have I ever had sex.” everyone laughs, drinking again. You and Rin exchange an awkward look before looking elsewhere.
“Horny, Chigiri? Onto the sex questions already?” Ryusei laughs.
“We all know people only play this for the sex questions so I’m just moving the process along.” Chigiri rolls his eyes before looking at Sae, assuming the questions are going around the table clockwise.
“Never have I ever eaten ass.” He drinks as soon as he finishes talking, and he smiles as Rin grunts, realising he stole his little brother’s question.
You watch Oliver and Eita either side of you drink as well as Ryusei. Karasu admits he hasn’t done it but it very open to trying it, earning a laugh from the group. Rin sits silently for a while as he tries to think of a question. It takes him too long, so Ryusei decides to take over.
“Never have I ever cheated.”
Oliver and Eita laugh before drinking. Chigiri hesitates, but drinks too. Everyone hoots and hollers as he flips them all off. In his defence, he got cheated on first, it was a revenge fuck! Though you don’t speak on his behalf, he doesn’t feel the need to defend himself.
“Never have I ever had a threesome.” Oliver laughs, Eita laughs too.
“Fuck you, man.” he chuckles as they both take a drink. Ryusei, Karasu and Sae all drink too.
“I feel so boring.” you giggle, “You two are gonna be drunker than me at this rate.” you tell the men either side of you.
“Maybe we can change your answer tonight.” Eita whispers into your ear. Rin and Ryusei stare daggers at the three of you, and it only makes you play into it more. Chigiri smirks when he looks over at Rin. His face is unchanging, but he can see that cold, calculated rage burning behind his eyes.
You turn to face Eita, your lips ghosting his before you face the rest of the group again. “Never have I ever been to a party at the Itoshi cabin.” you smile, everyone takes a drink, Rin drinking a heartier amount than everyone else before asking Chigiri for a refill.
“Never have I ever made a chick squirt.” Eita smirks as he drinks. Oliver joins in, and you can’t help but wonder if they shared a girl and gave them that experience. You watch on as Ryusei, and Rin drink, too. Your face flushes with embarrassment as Rin drinks and he looks at you again, averting your gaze and hoping nobody notices. “Fair play, Itoshi.” Eita nods towards Rin.
“Shut up.” he responds. “Never have I ever smoked weed.” he shrugs, reclining back in his seat while everyone else drinks. You can’t help but feel a little disappointed that he’s too focused on his phone rather than being entirely present in the moment with you all. You can’t help but wonder if it’s because he’s too preoccupied talking to his girlfriend.
“I was thinking we could do a secret Santa thing while we’re here, by the way.” Sae suggests, and Chigiri smiles at the idea. “We can all head to town together with a spending budget and find something.”
“That’s so cute!” you nod.
“We can’t do it.” Chigiri reminds you. “We’re leaving in the morning.”
“What?” Sae asks, quickly, and Rin is listening in carefully, now. His phone slotted into his back pocket as he observes your exchange. “I thought we figured everything out?”
You look at Ryusei, uncomfortably and gulp. His eyes soften as he realises you want to leave because of him, but he can’t say anything and start senseless drama. He doesn’t want you to go because of him. He doesn’t want you to go at all. However, he knows while everyone is intoxicated and tensions are high, confessing the reason will only lead to an unnecessary uproar.
“You— You should stay, kid.” is the most he can offer. “We haven’t had a chance to catch up properly, right?” he hopes you can take the hint. He can’t talk about it now, but there is definitely a discussion needed. You sigh, and nod.
“We should stay, Hyoma…” you smile at your best friend. And he looks relieved. He looks pleased that you’re spending a few more days with this crazy group and hopefully having more little parties like this. “And secret Santa sounds like a great idea, Sae.” you nod.
Sae smiles, excitedly. He pats Chigiri on the back and they laugh together happily. They start talking about the gift exchange and how to do it. Sae gets up in search of a pen while Chigiri tears up pieces of cardboard from a drink crate to write on. Sae hands him a pen, and they get to work writing down everyone’s names. Ryusei hands them an empty cup to put the names in.
“Just pass the cup around and take a name.” Chigiri tells the group as he draws the first name and passes the cup to Sae. Rin follows and then passes down to Ryusei. You, Oliver and Eita take your names and then Karasu gets the final piece of cardboard. “We good? Cool.”
“What’s the budget?” Rin asks.
“We’ll decide tomorrow,” Sae answers. “Just don’t forget or lose the name.”
“Does anyone want to dance?” you ask, swallowing the last of your drink. Oliver and Eita nod immediately, Chigiri shrugs and Karasu agrees too. The five of you head towards the lounge where the music is playing loudest.
Chigiri doesn’t dance, but he steps from foot to foot in time with the music. He keeps an eye on the grumpy gang still sitting in the kitchen while you take turns dancing on the three men giving you all of their attention.
You hadn’t expected to be so drawn to Eita, but his height and calm demeanour are pulling you in. His hand rests on your waist while you dance together, your ass pressed comfortably against his crotch.
He plays it cool, of course, whispering sweetly in your ear.
You watch Chigiri as he gets bored with the music, skipping the song to something more familiar.
“You’re a model, yeah?” Eita asks, directly into your ear canal. It makes you shudder, but you nod. “Show us.” he orders, though you’re sure it’s intended as a suggestion. They all seem entertained with the idea, though. No one more encouraging than Chigiri.
He’s your number one supporter, and you love him for it.
He looks a little taken aback as you move away from him, and your face turns expressionless yet sultry. You rise up the small steps that connect the lounge and the entryway, doing the best walk that you can towards the kitchen in your drunken state. You take your time when you get closer to Rin, Ryusei and Sae, posing for a while before turning back towards the other half of the guests.
They all clap and smile when you finish, your friendly, warm smile returning to you.
“That’s her drunk, imagine when she’s focused.” Chigiri hiccups, Karasu laughs with him. The two of them get to chatting and dancing again as they discuss the party thus far.
Oliver ruffles your hair and winks, heading back to the kitchen to get a refill.
“She’s good. She’s a little firecracker, isn’t she?” he laughs.
The siblings and Ryusei don’t say a word. As worried as Ryusei is about you, he tries to distract himself by talking to Sae and Oliver instead. Rin, however, can’t stop looking at you. You’ve stopped thinking about him, though. Your attention is entirely with Eita for now. Chigiri is taking it all in, on your behalf, making mental notes of things to tell you tomorrow.
Hopefully he won’t be too drunk to recall it come morning.
Eita squeezes your ass as you get closer to him. Rin stands up, finishing his drink and telling everyone goodnight. He heads up the stairs when he sees you and Eita almost share a kiss, your lips connect, though you break it before it can really be called a kiss.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
You look towards the stairs, and you hate how Ryusei and Sae are looking at you. It’s like you’re so predictable and they know exactly what you’re going to do. You can’t help it, though.
“I’m sorry.” you tell Eita, running away from him and chasing Rin up the stairs.
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Rin’s door is closed, but not locked. You feel slightly sober now that you’re here. Part of you regrets running away and leaving Eita behind, but you know you’d have regretted being so petty and hurting Rin in the morning. Especially now that you’re staying.
You knock on the door, and he doesn’t respond.
Really, you should walk away. He’s either sulking or trying to sleep. Maybe even both. Your better judgement is telling you that you should leave him to it. But you can’t. You’ve been trying to get a reaction out of him all night and you finally got it.
Girlfriend or not, you got what you wanted.
It has to mean something.
So you enter without permission. The room is dark, and there’s no sign of him on the bed. You see the balcony door slightly ajar, and the biting breeze confirms his whereabouts. Did he leave because he was tired? Or did he leave because he felt jealous?
Of course there’s a chance you could be overthinking, but you have to know for sure. Admittedly, discussing your feelings whilst drunk might not be the brightest idea. It doesn’t stop you, though. He knows you’re here when he hears your heels click against the wood flooring. He looks over his shoulder, he’s leaning over the balcony railing when you step out and see him.
“You’re in the wrong room.” he tells you, turning around and resting his elbows on the railing as he faces you. The dark night sky obscures most of his face, but the moonlight highlights him gorgeously. It makes your knees weak, and you can barely think of what you want to say.
“I know,” you tell him. “I just wanted to check on you.”
He scoffs, but nods. You stand beside him and look over towards the town. The cold, bitter wind makes you feel drunker. Part of you can’t believe you’re actually staying here after you were so adamant that you were leaving. The glittering lights of the snow-covered village makes you smile unintentionally.
It’s how you’d imagine Santa’s workshop, if he were real.
“Um… congratulations on the new girlfriend, by the way.” you start, instantly regretting bringing it up. You’re sure you’ll start crying if he starts fawning over her. You don’t even know her, but you hate her. You try to keep calm and remember Chigiri saying she’s probably ugly. At the very least she’s got to be less attractive than you. “I’m glad you found someone… I hope you’re very happy together.”
“We are.” he tells you, immediately. You gulp and it feels like swallowing glass. He’s always been blunt, it’s not because he’s particularly angry or bitter towards you. It’s just who he is. And still, it hurts. “Are you interested in Otoya?”
You’re frozen without a response. You aren’t sure whether to lie or be honest, though you fear he knows you too well and will know if you’re lying to him.
“He’s fun.” you shrug. His lips curls into a smirk at that. It tells him all he needs to know without you saying anything at all. You feel defeated, completely and utterly, as you look at his expression. “I don’t want to come between you and your friends, Rin.”
“I don’t care.” he shrugs, “Do what you want.”
His words are like bullets shredding through your skin. You do what you can to maintain your composure, trying to regain control of the situation and the conversation.
“I thought you might be upset when you left the party…”
“No,” he corrects you, his gorgeous teal eyes fixate on your own as he speaks. “I’m tired. I wanted to say goodnight to my girlfriend, but she must already be asleep.”
And, with that, you run out of willpower to continue talking. He sees how tears begin to prick at your eyes, and you try to walk away before they spill over again. You offer him a quick goodnight as you try to hurry back through the cabin and to yours and Chigiri’s room.
He stops you, grabbing your wrist and pulling you back out into the cold.
“You’re unbelievable.” he tells you, bending down so that your noses almost touch. His eyes bore into yours as he offers nothing but a harsh, callous stare. You want to run, but you can’t. His grip on your wrist is firm, and you’re worried the cold temperature will aid in any bruising. The strength of his hold isn’t painful, but the chill of your skin is intensifying it. “You broke up with me. Yet you have the gall to be jealous?”
“That’s not fair…” you whimper, but he’s right. You’ve been saying the same thing all day. Even before you knew he was seeing anyone, you knew you had no right to be upset considering you were the one who ended things. And yet, here you are, trying to defend yourself now that you’re suffering the consequences of your own actions. “I didn’t know you’d move on so quickly… I didn’t know I’d be seeing you again… I didn’t know it would h-hurt.” you hiccup, and you do your best to wipe away your tears with your free hand.
“You just wanted me to grieve forever, yeah?” he wonders. “You thought I’d be waiting in the wings for you, waiting for you to decide you want me back.”
“That’s not true, Rin,” you sniffle, “I care about you. I always will…”
“I don’t want you to.” he informs you. “You’re—”
“I think you still care about me too…” you interrupt him, looking down at the way he grasps harder onto your wrist as you speak. You look up at him again, his face somehow even closer to yours now. “Y-You can’t just turn feelings off that quick… I—”
“I’ve moved on. You’re moving on.” he tells you. “Fuck everyone here for all I care, princess.”
“Rinnie…” a tear silently rolls down your cheek as he calls you a name you never thought you’d hear spill from his lips in reference to you ever again. You can’t help but wonder if he calls his new girlfriend the same sweet names he once called you.
Rin is chillingly composed.
But if only you knew.
He feels a lump in his throat as he replays the way you said Rinnie to him, a nickname long forgotten since your breakup. A name he’d never allow another soul to call him for the rest of his days. It’s yours, all yours. It wouldn’t sound right coming from anyone else, he can’t imagine feeling anything but disdain hearing it from another.
You melt into his touch as he cups your face with his free hand, his thumb swiping at the spilled tear glimmering against your cheek. He looks down at you with a heavy-lidded stare, and you want him.
You miss him.
Especially like this.
His eyes so tired and heavy as he gives into his lust and claims you. Your eyes close completely as you feel his head tilt.
He does still care about you.
He’s going to kiss you. He’s going to cheat on his girlfriend for you. You weren’t far off on your suspicions, after all. He still cares. He might even still love you. You’re too drunk and delirious, though. Your eyes are closed and awaiting his kiss. His are barely open, lazily gazing at you knowing he isn’t about to give you what you so desperately crave.
“Goodnight, princess.” he whispers, the bitter scent of alcohol dusting across your face as he breathes.
You pull away, slowly, horrified that you’ve been denied of a simple kiss twice in one excruciating day. Your wrist is free, now. And he watches as you back away from him. He feels a little bad, but not much. He’s sure you’re only feeling a fraction of the pain and humiliation you put him through when you ended things.
He’s sure you can handle a little rejection.
“Goodnight, Rinnie.” you sniff, walking away calmly until you’re through his room and heading to your own.
You think about telling Chigiri. You even start walking down the stairs so you can cry on his shoulder. But you see him with the boys. His smile is so wide, and he looks really happy. You don’t want to ruin his night, too.
Eita looks up at you, though you don’t catch him looking. You’re too focused on yourself and Chigiri. You don’t notice him follow you as you ascend the stairs. He waits outside of your room as you decide you ought to go to bed.
You don’t even have the energy to take off your makeup or your dress. All you can do is shake your feet until your shoes fly off in different directions. Your body breaks out in goosebumps when you hear a soft knock at the door, and you can only hope your disappointment isn’t obvious when you realise it isn’t Rin coming to talk to you some more.
Eita holds up a joint, offering it to you.
You’re pretty much sober, now.
You’re surprised you haven’t burst into tears, too. So, you nod. You accept his offer, gratefully, hoping you’ll slip off into a blissful sleep once you finish smoking. Eita closes the door behind him, locking it so you won’t be disturbed as he sits on the bed beside you.
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© 2023 rinhaler
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toournextadventure · 1 year
Text
everyone but her pt.1
a/n: this is part of a slight au i've got goin on. the only real difference is slight deviation from the season since i haven't finished it. there's no genuine plot to all of these, just things i think would be cute. EDIT: previously called math tutoring
Word Count: 2.4k Warning: slight language Pairing: Wednesday Addams x Reader (Masterlist)
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Enid loved playing matchmaker, but she was going to lose her mind if neither you nor Wednesday finally made a move. If she had to watch you doodle on her paper’s in class one more time? Had to watch you get within an inch of Wednesday without actually touching her and intruding upon her space? Was forced to bear witness to your quite frankly embarrassing attempts at flirting?
“Did you know Kemper suggested his own punishment in prison?” You asked far too late into the night; another attempt at flirting and sparking Wednesday to go off with facts about the serial killer.
That’s it. Enid had to do something about this before she threw up or fainted. Again.
“Hey, wait up!” Enid called as you both exited your literature class.
“Walk faster, Sinclair, I’m late,” you called back, but you still slowed your pace so she could catch up.
“Have a date with Wednesday?” Enid asked as soon as she fell into step with you.
“No, Enid, I don’t have a date,” you chuckled, “I have math tutoring.”
Of course you do, Enid thought to herself with a sigh. Why on earth would you actually act on the feelings that literally everyone but Wednesday knew about? It didn’t make her cruel to want you to make a move! But you somehow always had something to do and it was ruining everything!
Wait.
“Wednesday can tutor you,” Enid suggested. Out of respect for you, she ignored the slight falter in your step.
“I… don’t think that’s such a great idea,” you said with a shrug. “Math already makes me want to cry.”
“But she’s extremely smart,” Enid continued. “Much smarter than whoever you’ve got now.”
“I’m not emotionally strong enough for-“
You both stopped as Wednesday stepped in front of you. It always made Enid smile to see you have to nearly break your neck to look down at her roommate. Something about the height difference made the power imbalance all the more entertaining.
“You both look far too happy,” Wednesday said in her usual deadpan.
“We were just talking about you!” Enid said happily.
“Hopefully it was everything bad,” Wednesday mused.
“Y/N was actually wanting to ask you something,” Enid continued, ignoring the look you shot her way. “Weren’t you?”
“What do you want?” Wednesday asked as she finally looked up at you. No one else would have noticed, but Enid saw the way her features softened just the most minuscule amount.
She also continued to ignore the increasingly pissed off look on your face before you sighed and turned back to Wednesday.
“I need a new math tutor,” you said through gritted teeth. “Think you could help me?”
“Your math knowledge is abysmal at best,” Wednesday answered quickly.
“Yeah, I know,” you mumbled. Your left hand came up and rubbed the back of your neck in what Enid had long ago realised was a self-soothing gesture.
“I suppose I can make time,” Wednesday finally said after leaving you to worry your lip for far too long. “On two conditions.”
“Name them,” you shot back instantly, your hand finally falling back down to your side.
“You don’t interrupt my writing time,” Wednesday said first.
“Easy, next?”
“You teach Eugene how to talk to people,” Wednesday concluded.
“Isn’t he, like, 13?” You asked, though Enid noted you never said no.
“He’s as dreadful at making friends as you are at math,” Wednesday continued, causing both you and Enid to flinch away from the harsh truth.
“Okay fine, deal,” you said with a slight huff. “Just quit insulting my math intelligence.”
“We can get started tonight at 7:30,” Wednesday said, completely ignoring your statement and turning to Enid. “We’re going to be late.”
She walked off quickly, and Enid gave you a quick “I’ll text you!” before jogging to catch up with her roommate. They walked in comfortable silence even though Enid was dying to ask Wednesday about her new study date with you. This was probably going to be the most time you would both be spending together at one time!
“Should I leave you both alone during your “tutoring” session tonight?” Enid finally asked, her tone and smile completely eliminating any chance at trying to keep her cool.
“You could use the math help too,” Wednesday answered quickly.
“I’m choosing to ignore that statement,” Enid said simply as she stood a little taller. “Just admit you like her flirting and want to spend alone time with her tonight!”
“It’s a pitiful attempt at flirting,” Wednesday said simply. “And if we are alone, I very well might drill the formulas into her head.”
“Actually, I think I’ll stick around,” Enid tried to joke even though she knew her roommate would follow through on her threat of bodily harm. For your sake, she would be the buffer between Wednesday Addams and your very life.
At least for tonight.
———
You were late.
You were late and it was raining and you weren’t answering your phone and there were only so many times Enid could tell Wednesday you were on the way. But Wednesday was smart, she had surely caught on by now that no one knew where you were. Maybe Enid should send Thing to go find you and force you to at least answer her texts-
-three knocks on the door. Enid was throwing it open in an instant.
“Where have you been?” She asked through gritted teeth.
“You told me to bring flowers,” you whisper-shouted back at her, “and Thornhill wouldn’t leave!”
“Well now you’re late and Wednesday is upset and- you look like hell,” Enid said as she finally noticed the haggard state you were in. “What happened to you?”
“My wings wouldn’t fold into the harness so now they’re all wet and-”
“-Just get in there and kiss up already,” Enid interrupted you. She grabbed you by the forearm - doing her best not to crush the chocolate in your hand - and pulled you into the room, shutting the door loud enough for Wednesday to turn around.
“You’re getting water all over the floor,” Wednesday said simply. “Where were you?”
“Held up by Thornhill,” you lied effortlessly. Well, technically it wasn’t a lie. An omission of sorts, you would claim. “So I brought these to, uh, make up for it.”
You held out the three black dahlias that had somehow survived the rain and the box of what Enid realised was very dark bitter chocolate. Perfect, Enid thought as she smiled to herself. You had gotten everything she had told you to get. This was going to work perfectly!
“Flirting was bad enough,” Wednesday said, causing your cheeks to burn, “but flowers and chocolates are just too far.”
Your mouth opened and closed several times with no words coming out. The flicker of your eyes in her direction before you sighed and took the gifts to the bed in defeat? Enid wanted to scream. How could that not have worked? They were two of the things that she knew Wednesday loved! This Addams was getting on her last nerve.
Enid kept one headphone out as the tutoring session droned on. She wanted to be up to date on everything you said so she could know what your next move was. Maybe Wednesday took studies too seriously and this wasn’t the proper time to woo her. That didn’t leave many options, but Enid could work with it.
“If you mention polynomials one more time, Addams, I’m going to strangle you,” your voice sounded out, causing Enid to jump and turn to make sure you were both still alive.
“Strangle me, then,” Wednesday said without hesitation, “at least then I won’t have to deal with your rather pitiful attempts at understanding simple terms.”
“That’s what this is supposed to be for,” you shot back, “fixing my pitiful attempts.”
“Not even I can fix this disaster,” Wednesday claimed.
“Fuck you, Addams,” you grumbled as you stood up from your spot on the floor and left the room.
Enid turned to face Wednesday, who was still sitting at her desk and looking utterly unfazed. Why would she tell you that? The whole point of this tutoring was for you both to spend time together! Why would she openly insult you like that and then have the nerve to act like-
-the door opened again and you leaned in just enough to look at Wednesday’s desk.
“Same time on Friday?” You asked as if nothing had ever happened.
“Don’t be late next time,” Wednesday answered.
“Sure thing, Addams,” you said with a mock salute and a small smile. “Good night, ladies.”
And just like that you were gone.
Enid fell back onto her bed in utter exhaustion. She hated you both.
———
“How’s the tutoring going?” Enid asked her roomie when she saw you walk through the courtyard with Eugene trailing after you like a lost puppy. At least you were holding up your end of the deal.
“She has risen from abysmal to slightly below adequate,” Wednesday said without looking up from her book. “A drastic improvement, I would say.”
“Have you both agreed to go on a date yet?” Enid continued; she had very much noticed the lingering look you gave Wednesday as you continued your walk.
“No,” Wednesday answered. “Don’t you have homework to finish?”
“I can either do my homework or interrogate you about your love life,” Enid sighed, “and frankly, I have priorities.”
“We are not going on a date,” Wednesday said, finally shutting her book. “That would be a conflict of interest and she would need to find a new math tutor.”
“That’s what you’re worried about?” Enid asked incredulously.
“No one else is capable of helping her pass her test next week,” Wednesday continued.
“Wednesday Addams,” Enid said, trying her best to sound authoritative, “you’d better ask her out on a date after her test, then.”
“Or what?” Wednesday asked. “You have nothing to hold over me.”
Enid inhaled sharply, her mind running a million miles a minute trying to think of what would make a good threat. Bodily harm wouldn’t work, she would enjoy it too much. There was nothing to take away because she had only the necessities to her name. Surely there was something Enid could use to make her threat worth it.
Bingo.
“Or I’ll show Y/N the pictures of you letting me paint your nails,” Enid finally said with a smug grin.
“If you do, you’d better sleep with one eye open,” Wednesday threatened back. The only difference was she didn’t need to give an actual threat; everything she did was scary.
But Enid’s demise would surely be worth it if it meant you two finally getting together.
———
“Read ‘em and weep, Addams,” your voice cut through the air as a packet was tossed onto the music stand in front of Wednesday.
She knew you would be coming by this evening; you had mentioned you were supposed to be getting your math test back. If you had failed, you would have come back and asked what you had done wrong. Which, admittedly, was everything; you truly were horrendous at math. But if you had passed, you would have come to gloat even if it was adequate at best.
She held her bow out to you - which you took with gentle hands - and picked up your test. There in the top corner was a 83 written in red ink. Her fingers flipped through each page, taking note of what you got wrong. Algebra, Wednesday thought with disgust, you never listen.
“An adequate grade,” Wednesday said as she handed the papers back to you. She ignored the ruffle of your feathers at her words before taking the bow back.
“Thank you for helping me,” you said in a voice that made Wednesday feel like she had swallowed a handful of spiders.
“I did it for Eugene,” Wednesday said. You both knew it was a lie. You didn’t call her out for it.
“Whatever you say, Addams,” you said with a smile that made those same spiders try to crawl back up her throat. “Don’t let your cello get wet, it’s supposed to rain.”
You turned your back to her and started walking along the edge of the balcony, the feathers of your wings twitching in the wind. They melted into the inky black of the night in a way that was almost poetic. Edgar Allen Poe-esque, she would even claim.
Thing tapped the music stand to get her attention before talking far too quickly. Wednesday shook her head no, but he insisted, finally leaving the stand to crawl up your leg and rest on your shoulder.
“Thing has something to ask you,” Wednesday said, ignoring the gesture Thing sent her way and focusing entirely on the sheet music that she wasn’t reading.
“Whatcha got?” You asked as you turned your head to look at him. He made his gestures - which Wednesday promptly refused to look at - and said what he wanted to say. You chuckled.
“I’d love to go on a date with you, Thing,” you said, finally looking up to meet Wednesday’s eyes as she glared at you. “We can hit up the Weathervane tomorrow, I’ll pick you up at 6.”
You held up your hand to give Thing a fist-bump before he crawled down and made his way back to the music stand. There was an irritating look on your face; it wasn’t quite a smile, but it was nearly as condescending. And yet, something about it almost made her not want to claw her own eyes out.
Almost.
“Good night, Wednesday,” you said before pitching backwards over the ledge. She almost felt her black heart skip a beat before you swooped back up into the sky and took off toward your own dorm.
“Do that again,” Wednesday said as she faced Thing, “and I’ll rip your fingernails out one by one.”
Thing shook and ran off back inside, probably to see Enid. He’d better pray she could protect him. She did not appreciate him and his sick sense of humour. Yours either, quite frankly, seeing as Thing had done exactly what she had asked him to do. But you were clearly going to make her work harder for this date.
That was a challenge she was willing to accept.
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elsweetheart · 1 year
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ok hi same anon and i agree, i’m not a stone but i love stone identities so much! also can i pls get some nsfw hcs of stone ellie helping her gf de-stress during exam season :))))
stone tops are the backbone of our society i salute them i also giggle and kick my feet for them🫡
combining this request with this one:
your dealer!ellie au is so so so so good !!! her talking about how pretty you are with pretty pink eyes… im literally barking rn pls do a part 2 (maybe with some smut cause im down bad) if you have the chance !!! <3 xoxoxox
it’s dealer!ellie i hope you don’t mind! gotta love our stone stoner 🤭
brief daddy kink mention + obvious usage of weed so skip if that makes u uncomfy. fem reader !
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herbal therapy — dealer!ellie
🎀 smut !! reader calls ellie daddy, drugs are involved, mentions of stress
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• it had been a long week, you had literally been living in the library with your head buried in your books and laptop preparing for your exams. pressure was being applied from everywhere in your life, and before you reached your breaking point you decided to grant yourself a day to relax.
• well, you don’t exactly decide — you can’t concentrate on your work because you started crying due to the stress, and in that moment you just needed your girlfriend to make it all go away.
• so, you show up to her dorm with your bag and a downturned pout, tears welling in your eyes. her brows furrowed when she saw how done you looked and slowly pulled you into her arms, eyes flickering over you. “oh! hey! you’re crying!” she whispered, eyes wide and face worried.
• she pulled you into her room and shut the door, bringing you over to her bed and sitting down, pulling you onto her lap. “talk to me, what happened?” she was sure to speak gently not knowing how fragile you were feeling. you sniffled loudly, wiping your cheeks with the backs of your hands. “s’just too much. need a night away from it all. wanted to be with you.” you tell her dejectedly and she nods in understanding, squeezing you close and resting her chin on your shoulder. “I’m yours all night, you’ll be alright.” she comfort, kissing your cheek.
• she orders you both a pizza, and god she’s just being so fucking gentle with you it makes you wanna cry everytime you look at her. she even holds you whilst you eat your pizza, her leaning her back to the wall with you laying with your back to her chest, sat up so you can eat. she doesn’t expect you to reply to her too much, but she’ll talk to you quietly in your ear about the movie you’re watching or something that happened to her earlier. her voice is so comforting it soothes you enough for your stress to start melting away a little.
• “you wanna get a little high? might help you relax a little, babe.” she all but whispers in your ear after your food had gone down, the movie on the screen illuminating the room. you turn your face to her, running your eyes over her freckles, her eyebrow scar, her pretty green eyes. it takes you a moment to respond because you’re so mesmerised by her, finally getting out a weak “mhm.” which makes her smile like she’s proud of you, pressing a kiss to your slightly parted lips.
• she prepares it all for you, letting you get the first hit like she always does. the two of you had figured out what your limit was, and honestly the two of you rarely smoked together because she was constantly telling you it was bad for you etc — but times like this did call for a little herbal therapy. you smoked your usual amount until your eyes were all pink and hazy just how she liked it and you felt fuzzy and warm on the inside. she finished off the rest easily, her tolerance way higher.
• she leans back on the bed and you lay down with her, practically trying to climb into her clothes with how close you wanted to be. “wish you could shrink me down so i could be in your pocket all day n’you could take me everywhere.” you hum into her and she chuckles low in her chest, palms flattening against your back as she rubs up and down. “i wouldn’t put you in my pocket, come on now. i’d obviously have you sit on my shoulder like a little parrot. s’way cooler.” she theorises and you pull back, nodding with doe eyes and a serious expression which makes her laugh even more at you taking her answer to heart. “you’re so cute. my cute little lady.” she cups your cheeks with a funny voice making you giggle before she presses her lips to your puckered one’s. you melt into the kiss and it deepens naturally, her hand pushing your lower back to arch you gently into her. you take it one step further, hooking your leg over her thigh and her hands roam lower, squeezing your ass as she slips her tongue into your mouth. you whimper, the weed having you so sensitive to touch that everything felt amazing and you’d barely even started making out. you felt the warmth and wetness begin to spread in your panties and if you weren’t high you might’ve been ashamed over how easy it was.
• her lips attack your neck as she encourages you with her hands to grind against her thigh, causing you to whine in satisfaction at the warm friction against your clit. “mhm?” she cooes against your skin when you do, making you all the more wetter knowing exactly what you had in store. ellie was gonna look after you, just like she always does.
• deciding enough was enough, ellie gently rolled you onto your back— pushing herself up onto her knees as her eyes ran over your heaving figure for a second. “y’wanna take these off for me?” she pat your pants lightly, leaning over to her bedside table to drink out of her water bottle before cupping the back of your neck to sit you up a little and holding it to your lips, pausing you in your undressing. “good girl.” she praised casually, eyes on your wet lips. as she did up the cap of the bottle you were quick to pull off your pants, grabbing at her tshirt to pull her back to you. as you did this, you caught the ghost of a smirk at your desperation on her face before she kissed you again, holding herself up over you.
• her larger hand crept down you, before nudging your thighs a little wider and cupping you through your panties. you gasp at this, and she chuckles at your reaction, digging her fingers in slightly. “ellie…” you whisper against her lips and she pulls away to kiss your chin before dropping her head to look at what her hand was doing. her hand trailed up and brushed over your clit making your legs jerk slightly and her fingers curled around the fabric of your panties. before you could wonder what she was doing, she gently tugged them up, causing the material to bunch and rub against your sensitive button.
• “mm—mgh, o’mygod” you whimpered, not being able to do anything but pant for a moment. she was looking back up at you now, watching your reaction and she let the smirk grace her face once more, continuing to tug. “y’like that?” she mutters, almost slightly taken aback and you nod, swallowing down a thick gulp. “so sensitive.” she commented teasingly even quieter than before, beginning to pull your underwear off completely unable to wait any longer.
• she pushed herself off you so she could ease her way down the bed, coming face to face with your cunt. you went to close your legs, but she gently eased them open— taking your hand that covered your modesty and running her thumb along the backs of your knuckles looking up at you. “s’just me.” she cooed and your heart fluttered, nodding as if hypnotised. “just you.” you repeat in a broken whisper before her eyes are on your pussy again, thumbs coming even side of the lips to spread them apart. she was high, so naturally she was entranced by how pretty it was taking a moment to admire you as she dragged a finger through your soaked slit.
• “please.” you eventually pouted and she snapped out of it, dragging a thumb up to your clit making you moan. dipping her head down she began leaving wet kisses on your thighs, pleased hums leaving her when the sensation of this would cause you to spread your legs for her even wider trying to urge her face closer to your heat. “m’gonna take care of you. gonna take care of you so well, pretty girl.” she promised against your warm skin and you mewled, hands curling into the sheets beneath you.
• ellie pushed a finger inside your wet warmth and you melted into the sheets, for once not making sound. your eyes were screwed shut and you were holding your breath without realising, trying to focus solely on the feeling of her finger being gripped by your walls. her finger didn’t move, and you were pulled out of it when she looked up at you with a gentle yet stern expression, hazy eyes focused in one yours. “breathe.” her hand stroked your thigh lovingly and you released a shaky breath. she began moving her finger again, working you open before adding another and curling them up against your gummy spot.
• your back arched off the bed and she took that as the perfect opportunity to wrap an arm around your thigh and pull you closer until her hot mouth was on your slit, licking up any juices that had leaked from you. the substances inside you heightened the euphoria of this, tears welling in your eyes as she mouthed at you hungrily.
• you didn’t know how much time had passed, it all had blurred into one as ellie made you cum over and over. during the last orgasm she drew out of you, her hand dragged up to your tummy feeling the way it spasmed and clenched and remained tense after you had hit your peak. something in you was still holding onto that stress whether you realised it or not.
• she pushed herself up rather abruptly, and your eyes fluttered open to see her staring at you, taking in all of your features analytically like she was going to draw a picture of you. your brow was still slightly tense, your jaw too. you pressed your lips together swallowing, just waiting for her next move — because ellie always knew what to do, ellie always knew how to make it better. you still looked hungry, and she realised you needed more. “you need to get fucked.” she told you so casually like it was an obvious realisation and you inhaled through your mouth, head dizzy with just how serious she was. you couldn’t help a whine slip out your mouth as your teary eyes gazed into hers, still convinced that you were too sensitive from the orgasms you’d already received. “i know, baby.” she whispered, cupping your face as if she’d read your mind. “my girl is still all tense. y’just need a little bit of dick to let go of it all don’t you?” she cooed so gently that you felt a tear roll down the side of your cheek and onto the pillow beside you. she swiped it away with her thumb, lips still glistening from you and nodded, a pout on her own face. “yeah. need me to make it all better.” she kissed you, and your breath caught in your throat when you tasted yourself. ellie had a way of making your head get so fucked, to the point where all you knew was her. she didn’t even have to try to take charge you just naturally… gave it all to her.
• you don’t remember her getting up, you just knew she was just suddenly lazily clipping her strap on onto her harness, not bothering to remove her sweats underneath. your senses were alive and practically vibrating within you when she swiped the plastic tip along through your folds, sighing like she could feel it herself. “els, want it—please.” you heard yourself say and she didn’t keep you waiting, pushing it in slow to the hilt and holding it there, kissing you through the stretch.
• “need you to relax for me. big breath in, okay? do it with me.” she whispered and you blindly followed her. the two of you, faces close, eyes locked just breathing together. your high felt elevated, and in that moment you thought the two of you might just become one person. she seemed to give in, latching her lips to yours and sucking on your bottom lip, both hands cradling your neck like she couldn’t get enough. “you gonna let me take care of that pretty pussy?” she breathed into your mouth and you were whimpering out desperate ‘yes!’s before you could even stop to think. ellie was fucking you, slow and deep and you were crying because there was truly nothing better in the world than her giving you exactly what you needed in that moment.
• lost in the moment, she pushed your knees up to your chest and your mouth fell open as she hit your spot which spurred her on to grind her strap into you with even more energy. “‘taking me so well. look at that. look how good you’re taking it. fuck me.” she cursed, gently wrapping her hand round your chin to make you look down at the soaked plastic disappearing in and out of you.
• “mm—hmhph daddy!” you sniffled and she was suddenly kissing you again so hard it nearly knocked the wind out of you. you didn’t mean to say it, but nothing ever seemed totally off the table with ellie as she just wanted to make you feel good — she knew being ‘daddy’ was what you needed, and boy did it sound pretty coming from your swollen lips. “mhm. i’m daddy. cum for me m’right here. keep takin’ it for daddy.” she groaned against your lips, doing everything in her power to get you there. she knew snaking a hand between you and letting you hump your abused clit against it would seal the deal and it did— your ears ringing as you tumbled over your last peak. somewhere in the back of your mind you thought about the students living on the other sides of ellie’s dorm walls hearing all of this but you couldn’t bring yourself to care as she talked you through cumming. “good girl, so fuckin’ beautiful.”
• ellie got what she wanted too, a completely relaxed and limp girlfriend. it’s almost like she could see the previous, remaining stress float away from your body like steam and she smiled, catching her breath. she slowly pulled out, glancing at the mess you’d made of her strap and the blanket beneath you. “messy girl.” she tutted lightheartedly with a grin on her face and you reached weakly for her, using the rest of your energy to do so. “gotta clean you up, babe.” she reminded you but you pouted, so naturally she was crawling back over you and pulling you into her chest to cuddle. “inna bit.” you slurred, seeming drunk and fucked out which filled her with endless pride.
• she kissed the top of your head, resting her chin on it as you enjoyed the sleepy silence before she spoke. “‘that help you at all?” she knew the answer, hell— she was feeling smug as ever, but she needed verbal confirmation. she needed to hear you say it. “mhm. needed it bad n’i didn’t even know. but you always know.” you were muffled in her tshirt, practically asleep at this point.
• it was true. ellie always knows. ellie always makes it better.
• her lips attacked your neck as she pulled you to grind lazily on her thigh and you let out another shaky moan, causing her to hum an encouraging “mhm?” against you, turning you on even more. her hands were warm when they pushed up your shirt to squeeze at your tits, your moans only getting more lustful.
• deciding enough was enough she gently rolled you onto your back, pushing herself up on her knees.
• she orders you food, your favourite kind - and the two of you curl up and watch a movie, ellie doing her best to
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nickfowlerrr · 1 year
Note
Hey! Such a fan of your work. Do you still take requests for pwyc Bucky? Is there any chance you could do a reader having a down day bit? Been having a hard time lately and I find so much of myself in her and Bucky soothes the soul. NO worries if not, or if you’re trying to enjoy the holidays and not be put on a downer. So grateful for your work x
pretty when you cry series masterlist
bad day
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pairing: pwyc!bucky x curvy!reader
warnings: 18+ only. female receiving smut. comfort fic. if i’m missing something you think should be tagged, pls let me know!
words: 2.3k
notes: thank you so much for sending this in. i have been feeling much the same lately so i was really glad to write this little drabble. i hope you find some comfort in it and hopefully it can help brighten up your monday 🖤 sending you love and wishing you a happy holiday season, anon! and to everyone else who reads this, too. 🥰
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“Sweetheart?”
Bucky’s voice called out into the silence of the house, receiving no answer in response. All the lights were off, letting him know you hadn’t been downstairs, at least not since the sun started to set.
He knew something was wrong, he had been feeling it all day. He was worried about you, texted you repeatedly and tried to call when he got a chance, but you didn’t answer. If he could have left that meeting with Stark earlier, he would have in a heartbeat. He’d been itching to get home since he started feeling something was off with you. Steve called him out on not paying attention to much of what was being said at the meeting, but he couldn’t have cared less. He was antsy and on edge, annoyed at every question he was asked and clearly irritated any time someone spoke directly to him. The only thing on his mind was you.
“Baby,” he called out, softer as he approached the door to your shared room.
He had no idea what was wrong, but the heaviness he had felt from you all day was starting to get near paralyzing. It was like you were overwhelmed and completely numb at the same time. All he wanted to do was comfort you, make you feel better. Whatever he could, whatever you needed him to do, he would do. He couldn’t take feeling this much longer knowing it was all radiating from you. You must’ve been drowning at that point, the weight of these unknown emotions hadn’t let up all day except the few times you had probably fallen asleep.
Still not getting a response from you, Bucky quietly opened the door and walked in to find you lying on the bed still in the pajamas you were wearing when he left you this morning. You were curled up on his side of the bed, cuddling with his pillow, a delicate pout on your lips as you stared at nothing, breathing steady. Your eyes were bleary when you looked up as he came in.
“Hi,” he said softly, moving to sit next to where you laid on the bed. His hand immediately going to your back, running it up and down soothingly.
You didn’t respond right away, instead letting go of his pillow that you’d been using as a surrogate for him, and grabbing his arm, urging him to lay with you. He got the hint right away and let you pull him down before he adjusted himself so he was facing you better. Your arms wrapped around him and you buried your face in his neck as he returned your embrace.
“Hi,” you mumbled against him.
“What’s wrong, princess?”
“Noth-”
“Don’t say ‘nothing’,” he cut you off before you could finish replying.
You closed your mouth, thinking briefly before deciding not to answer.
Bucky allowed the silence as he returned to rubbing your back, taking a breath as the ache in his chest eased just the slightest.
“Bad day,” you finally responded quietly.
“That makes two of us,”
“Sorry,” you winced at the reminder that he was forced to feel what you had been feeling.
“Don’t be. All I wanted to do today was be here with you,” he assured you.
It was quiet again before he heard your small sniffling and the dampness of your cheeks on his skin as you nuzzled even further into him.
“Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay, doll. I got you, you’re okay,” he cooed as he leaned down to place a kiss on top of your head.
“Talk to me, sweetheart. Tell me what’s wrong. I’ve been feeling this all week, I know you’ve been trying to push it off,”
“I just,” you took a breath before trailing off, not knowing how to explain properly.
“You can tell me anything,” he reminded you.
“I know, I just..”
All words left your head, any semblance of an explanation you could try and offer went flying right out of the window. Not being able to pinpoint it only made it that much worse. He was asking a sensible question. What was wrong?
What was wrong?
What is wrong? Why are you feeling like this?
Why don’t you have a single fucking idea as to why you’re feeling so…bad.
Your heartbeat picked up and so did your breathing. You were trying to find a reason, just one. But you couldn’t. You just felt like this. No real logic to it. You couldn’t give him an answer and you only made yourself feel worse knowing you were making him feel the same.
“I don’t know,” you cried, dejectedly into his neck. More tears falling freely now.
“Shhh,” he whispered into your hair, cradling you against him now. “It’s okay, baby. ‘S’okay.”
You calmed as he held you, feeling slightly better having acknowledged that you were feeling bad instead of fighting the feeling as it had been threatening to drag you down all week, trudging through each day and only finding any kind of reprieve when Bucky was near. Your breath was beginning to steady when he pulled you back from him slightly, looking in your glassy eyes before he gently wiped the remaining tears from your face and you leaned into his hand.
“Have you eaten today?” he questioned.
“No,” you answered, looking away from him, feeling embarrassed that you hadn’t really left your room at all. You had started getting ready in the morning, lazily brushed your teeth and even washed your face. You were going to get in the shower, but when you went to start it, decided to do it later. You just felt so tired still. You crawled back into bed and slept for another hour before you awoke. You felt even worse then. Bucky had left and you had no distractions from the black cloud that had been following you around lately. So you just let it storm over you. Sleeping on and off throughout the day and wallowing in self pity and despair when you were awake. Everything and nothing was wrong all at once. But now, as you were coming back to yourself, your lack of living today was clear and you felt stupid and lazy for it.
“I need to shower,” you mumbled, moving to get off of him. He held you down, keeping you in his embrace, not letting you up just yet.
“I’m gonna make you dinner, first,” he told you.
“Okay,” you allowed as you looked up at him to meet his eye, “Well, I can shower while you make it,” you suggested, thinking it was the obvious course of action.
“No,” he stated, with a shake of his head as he held your eye. You furrowed your brow in response. “We’re gonna shower after,” he told you.
“We?” you repeated softly, looking him in his eyes. The warmth and affection that swam in them was comforting as he nodded before pulling your face closer to place a gentle kiss on your lips.
“Then I’ll light a fire and we can watch that show you keep telling me about. How’s that sound?”
“Good,” you answered, nodding slightly. “Honestly…Anything’s good as long as you’re here,” you simpered.
“Someone’s feeling sappy,” he smirked, repeating the words you always shoot at him when he gets too sentimental or cheesy on you, earning a light eye roll and smile from you at his teasing as you laid your head back down on his chest, taking another moment to just relax in his arms.
“Actually, can we just.. I don’t know, order pizza? Then we can shower right now and just go downstairs to eat and watch the show when it gets here.”
He nodded in response.
“We can definitely do that,” he agreed, a relaxed smile on his face as he felt the heaviness slowly lifting from you.
You pulled yourself up again, this time he let you go as he sat up, grabbing his phone from his pocket to place your usual order. You wandered into the bathroom, starting the shower to let the water warm up before you began to slowly take your clothes off. You were stepping out of your sweats as Bucky came in behind you, tugging you to him. You leaned back against him as he hugged you before his hands found the hem of your tank top, slowly pulling it up and over your head. He nudged you toward the shower that was beginning to fog up already as he began to undress.
You stood under the water, the warmth helping you relax further. Your body felt so sore though you hadn’t done a thing all day. As Bucky got in with you, his arms wrapped around your waist and you sighed at the added relief he brought you. You stood there for a while, swaying in his arms slightly as the water fell on the both of you. Eventually, his arms slipped from around you and when his touch returned, he was gently washing your body, the suds of your soap slowly washing down your skin with the stream of water that was directly above you. Bucky placed soft kisses on every area of your body he washed for you, worshiping every inch of you. He knew you weren’t feeling great, but he wanted you to know how much he loved you - and how incredible you were to him. He needed you to know he would always be there for you, no matter what. On your best days and your worst. He wasn’t going anywhere.
It was like you could feel his love for you radiating off of him and it warmed you. You grabbed his hand as he dragged it back up your hip once you were done washing off. You turned to him and wrapped your own arms around his torso, your hands now traveling up and down his back as you rested your head on his chest. He didn’t force you to talk, didn’t need you to explain. He just understood. Intuitively, instinctively. He knew what you needed right now.
You needed someone to be there.
You were so used to being alone, relying on no one but yourself, but it got tiring after a while. Having no other choice but to stay strong. Things were different now and you knew that. You knew you had Bucky, and you knew you didn’t have to be so strong all the time, but old habits die hard.
When you were together like this, though, you were reminded that you could let yourself feel. It was okay to break down because he’d be right there to pick you back up.
“You okay, princess?”
“‘M’okay,” you nodded. “Bucky, I...Thank you,” you whispered as you looked up to him, one hand reaching up to touch him, your thumb stroking his cheek as your nails gently raked along his neck and into his hair before pulling him down to kiss him softly, lips brushing delicately before you kissed him a bit harder, pressing yourself closer to him.
“I love you,” you breathed against his lips.
“I love you,” he responded, leaning down to kiss you again.
You stayed like that for another minute, just holding each other.
You grimaced as your stomach suddenly grumbled, the hunger you hadn’t even noticed just an hour ago now making itself known.
“I think I might be hungry,” you admitted as Bucky chuckled.
“That’s what happens when you don’t eat all day,” he lightly admonished. “Let’s finish up in here, by the time we’re done the pizza should be here.”
“What do you mean ‘finish up’? I thought we were done?” you said, confused. You’d both washed up and rinsed off - hair and body. You had thought you were both ready to get out and dry off.
“No, I’m not done with you just yet,'' he said as his hand slipped down between your bodies, his knee nudging your legs apart carefully. You leaned further into him as his fingers found their way to your sensitive folds, rubbing you gently before he slipped two of his thick digits into your tight heat as you gasped and shuddered against him, keeping your balance by holding onto his shoulders while he cooed in your ear, whispering sweet nothings to you as he pumped his fingers expertly in and out of you, curling them perfectly, hitting your sweet spots just right as you let out breathy moans at the stimulation. His thumb began rubbing tight circles on your swollen clit as he coaxed you to your orgasm, working you through your high once the pleasure finally overtook you, the white hot warmth erupting through you as you held onto him, muscles tensing and thighs shaking as you came.
You were trying to catch your breath as he suddenly picked you up by your thighs, making you wrap them around his waist. He kissed you again, stealing your breath as he did before you pulled away, nearly gasping as you rested your forehead against his.
“How long do we have until they get here?”
“Long enough,” he breathed huskily, crashing his lips into yours once again. You moaned into his mouth, mewling as you felt his erection throbbing against you, nearly teasing your entrance with the angle he was holding you at.
“Tell me what you want, pretty girl,” he said as he nuzzled his face into your neck.
“You,” you sighed. “I want you.”
You pulled his face back to yours, kissing him as gently as you could, trying to get across how grateful you were that he was there, and how much love you had for him, how much you felt for him as he held you so surely, so securely in his arms.
“Always you.”
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Angst and Fluff with Sam, Where it’s just sam getting angry at fem!r for going to the frat party, and some guy hitting on fem!r and trying to make r go upstairs with him, and r is too drunk to know what’s going on, but sam saves her at the last minute. and it could have a fluffy ending!
thank you for requesting! finally living up to my username with this one
SO I WANDER THROUGH THESE NIGHTS || SAM CARPENTER X READER 𖤐₊˚.
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summary: above <3
word count: 3.8k
warnings: fem!reader, mentions of drinking + eating, mentions/allusions of SA (it doesn’t happen in the story though), violence (probably canon typical)
⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹
As soon as she walks into the room, the smell of weed, sweat and above all, alcohol, hits Sam all at once. It’s enough to make her want to gag, but she’s not leaving. Not yet.
She pushes through the sea of inebriated students, not even dignifying the way some of them huff or curse in displeasure with an angry response. The only thing she cares about is bringing you and Tara home. And honestly, she’s begrudgingly grown to expect this sort of stupid behaviour from her kid sister, but you? You were better than this. At least, that’s what Sam had hoped, anyway.
She’d asked you to do one thing. To stay away from one place, for one night. And the funny thing is, you’d promised. Sam could count the people she trusted completely on one hand, and you were one of them. So she - what was now proved to be stupidly - believed you when you’d assured her that you and Tara were going to stay in and watch the latest season of whatever show it was that the two of you had bonded over all those months ago. She really should’ve expected this.
Sighing, Sam continues to make her way through the crowd, stopping once a familiar sound reaches her ears.
She’d recognise that laugh anywhere.
Her head whips around, following her line of sight until she sees you with your head thrown back as you down a glass of God- knows what, spurred on by Chad’s cheers and Ethan’s silent smile. There’s an unmistakable glint of triumph in your eyes, and it hits Sam that you don’t even look sorry for lying to her face and going behind her back, and the realisation unmistakably stings. More than she thought it would. But seeing you here, blissfully unaware whilst she was going out of her mind worrying about you, serves only to frustrate her.
“Hey!” Your head snaps up at that, and Sam doesn’t miss the “oh shit” on Chad’s lips. “Having fun here, are we?
“Sam?” You reply, and the woman doesn’t know whether to be insulted or satisfied with your tone of surprise. Like you really didn’t expect her to come after you. Like she would leave you here. “What are you doing here?”
“Could ask you the same thing.” Sam snarks back angrily. “What happened to a cosy night in watching TV with Tara, huh?”
You have the courtesy to look guilty at that. “That was the plan, I swear. But then Tara made a whole deal about needing to be a normal teenager for once and then she gave me those damn eyes and-“
“And you got all dolled up and came with her? You couldn’t say no to a damn teenager?” Sam recognises her steadily raising voice, and she knows that people are starting to stare. But she can’t bring herself to care. “Where even is Tara? You came here with here and you don’t even know where she is? How fucking reckless-“
“She’s with Mindy, Sam!” You cry out, evidently exasperated. I’ve been checking up on her and she’s fine! She’s having fun! She’s allowed to live her own life - she’s allowed to be by herself! We don’t need to watch her every damn second of the day!”
“What, so know you’re telling me how to look after my sister? Is that what this is?”
You run a hand through your hair. “You know that it’s not. And that’s not even why you’re mad at me! You’re mad because I’m doing something you don’t approve of - like I’m not a grown woman who can do as she pleases!”
“Oh, and what you want is to get drunk at frat parties, is that right? Your idea of fun is hanging out with all of these lowlife sleazebags? Yeah, sounds like a real fucking blast! I can’t believe you-“
“Then leave, Sam! If you’re just here to insult me, just leave me alone and go home!” Your outburst stuns Sam into silence, and has her taking a step back once she realises how the close the two of you have become. Leave me alone. Sam doesn’t think you’ve ever said those words to her during your relationship, not seriously. Not like this. It was always the opposite, you ushering her closer like you were starved without her touch.
Neither of you speak for a minute, your pride getting the both of best of you. Sam feels the racing of her heart in her chest, the sound almost deafening even with the blaring music of the party.
“Fine,” she finally bites out, voice not as steady as she’d like it to be. “You stay here. Get fucking wasted. See if I care.” She can’t read the look on your face, and she doesn’t try to discern it now. “I’m getting Tara and then I’ll be out of your hair. Enjoy the rest of your fucking night.”
She doesn’t look back as she storms away.
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Sam was wrong.
You weren’t drunk - not properly, not yet - but you damn well would be by the end of the night.
“Don’t you think that maybe you’ve had enough?” Ethan suggest sheepishly. “I mean-“
The withering glare you send his way is enough to shut him up whilst you drain the cup’s content. You know that he’s only trying to look out for you, but you’re not in the mood for his niceties right now. Sam going off at you that had completely ruined your mood. You could deal with her accusing you of lying to her. You did promise her that you would stay at home tonight. You can understand how she might feel betrayed - feel hurt - by you doing the utter opposite.
What you couldn’t stand by was her acting like you didn’t have any agency of your own. Like getting dressed up and letting loose at a party was the worst sin imaginable. Granted, it was a shitty party full of people who you didn’t even know, but the drinks were free and the atmosphere was decent enough. And you’re not about to let your lover’s spat with Sam ruin your whole night.
So you dance. You laugh. And most importantly, you drink. And suddenly, it becomes a lot easier to forget about the look on Sam’s face when you practically screamed at her to leave you be. It becomes a hell of lot easier to forget about everything, the sway of your hips becoming almost automatic as you feel the music deep in your veins.
You can’t even remember the amount of shots you’d taken by now. All you know is that a very drunken Chad had swore that he could do more than you, and ha - in his face, he was so wrong. And a lightweight, apparently. A lightweight throwing up in the bathroom, from what Ethan had worriedly told you before promising he’d be right back and to stay right there and please don’t drink anymore whilst I’m gone.
Ha. Jokes on Chad. You could handle your drinks. Mostly, anyways. And double ha, jokes on Ethan too, because you weren’t drunk enough that you couldn’t handle one more. And really, the drink was already in your hand, so it’d be a waste not to. It’s a solid idea.
It’s a horrible idea.
It’s like that final drink sends you over the edge, because barely ten minutes after your last sip, your vision starts to blur and you’re
suddenly staggering backwards until you’re up against the wall. Your hand flies out to the side to look for something - anything - to grab onto, and your squeeze your eyes firmly shut as you try to focus. If your head was hazy before, it was spinning now. God, if Sam could see you now. Disappointed would be an understatement.
You can’t think about Sam. About how horrible it was going to be going home with her mad at you. You find yourself sliding down the wall, sitting down being the safer option for your suddenly vertically challenged self. You need to think, think anything other than oh my God I am so fucking wasted right now. But you can’t. Even the music becomes too loud, too difficult to comprehend, its words passing you by in a blur. You’re not sure how long you sit there like that, head hung low as you sit on the bare floor, but with each passing minute you seem to grow more and more out of it.
You barely register the hand on your shoulder. You don’t look up - can’t look up- your gaze only raising when you feel yourself being hoisted up. And the face you’re greeted with isn’t someone you know. You would recognise Chad or Mindy or Ethan or Anika. Even in this sort of state, you would.. But this guy is different. Tall, bearded, dressed as God knows who from God knows what. You open your mouth to object, but even the action seems too tiring. Still, a faint noise of objection escapes your mouth, and the man simply shakes his head.
“It’s okay, sweetheart,” he purrs, his breath hot against your ear. “I got you. We’re just gonna have some fun, okay?”
⊹₊┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ✿ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈₊⊹
Sam shouldn’t have left.
She knows it when she’s storming out the front door with an angry Tara in tow, and she knows it when she’s practically halfway home. But you were both angry, and there was no point in even trying to reason with you when all she could think about was how you’d lied to her.
But she didn’t want to hurt you. Not now. Not ever. She hated herself for making you feel like that, so cornered that you’d completely snapped at her. And she’d deserved it. She doesn’t regret worrying about you and your safety, and she’d always be there to protect you. But you were right. You were an adult, and as much as Sam disliked it, that meant you could go to as many sleazy parties as you liked. You weren’t as fragile as Tara, someone who she could mostly justify watching like a hawk - even though she probably did need to work on that too. You were you. Too perfect, too beautiful you. And Sam had gone and shouted at you like that.
Sam was no stranger to self loathing, but knowing she had potentially fucked it all up with you because she couldn’t let go of the past, couldn’t move past the idea that the world was out to get her, that she pushed away one of the most important people in her life. One of the only people in her life. At this point, loosing you would be like loosing a limb, and probably a hell of a lot more painful. You knew her better than anybody, knew here secrets, knew her story. And you’d accepted and loved her in spite of it. Made her feel like the luckiest woman in the world and help her believe that maybe, just maybe, Sam Carpenter was allowed nice things. And she couldn’t leave things like that.
So she stops in her tracks, grabs Tara by the hand, and practically sprints back to the party, desperate to hold you close and tell you that she’s sorry. For everything. She ignores Tara’s confused yells all the way back to the building, barely even able to focus on them.
It’s getting late now, and people are starting to leave when she enters the room. She briefly wonders if you’re one of them, but even if you didn’t want to talk to her, one of your friends would’ve messaged to say that you were crashing at their place for the night. She glances over to where you were situated before, but doesn’t see you. Or Chad or Ethan, for that matter. Maybe that was a good thing, and that it meant that you were all together. Or maybe they had left and you were all alone, a voice in the back of her head warns. Sam knows that you’re allowed to be independent, but she still doesn’t like the sound of that.
She takes to to calling your name instead, and her cries become ever more frantic when there’s no response. She doubts you’d hear her over the music anyway. With a sigh, she pulls out her phone and fires you a message.
Sam: I came back, and I just want to talk to you.
Sam: I’m so sorry baby. I get if you’re mad, but we need to talk. Please.
She stares at the screen like it holds all of the answers. The answer to where you are. The answers to if you’re okay. If the two of you are going to be okay.
“Oh my God.” Tara breathes out, and Sam feels her pull on her arm. “Sam. Look.”
Her gaze snaps up, and sure enough, in front of her is you. Being practically dragged across the room because you can’t even walk straight, some guy’s arm draped around you like- like he owns you. And it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what he’s planning do with you - to you.
It makes her feel sick. And angrier than she’s ever been before, her ire burning so deep in her chest to where she feels like it’s more a fuel at this point. And she knows, without a doubt, that she’s going to kill this pathetic excuse for a man.
“Hey!” She bellows, causing the sleaze and just about everyone in the room to look up. “What the hell do you think you’re doing with her?”
The thing has the audacity to bark out an ugly laugh at that. “Relax. Just helping her upstairs, aren’t I baby?”
Baby. Like you’re his. Like you’d willingly be anywhere near his filthy touch.
You don’t even answer him. Sam doesn’t think you physically can.
“Tara, grab her.” She says so lowly that her sister probably has to strain to hear her. Tara complies, and Sam steps forward, close enough that she’s practically touching the guy.
“Step the fuck away from her. I’m only gonna warn you once.” The danger in her voice is unmistakable.
“Or what?” What the hell are you-“
Sam doesn’t let him finish. He doesn’t deserve the privilege.
“You piece of shit!” Sam yells as he cries out in pain, her punch connecting swiftly with his jaw with a satisfying crack. “Does it make you feel good?” Kick. You think you can touch my fucking girlfriend like that?” Another punch.
Sam doesn’t stop. Not even when he’s balled up on the floor, his body bloody and bruised. She honestly doesn’t think she ever would stop, not if it wasn’t for Tara crying out.
“Sam!” She yells, her eyes wide. She shakes her head. “You can’t. She needs you.”
She looks over to you, still clinging on to Tara. She’s right. You can’t stay here. She needs to take you home.
Her breathing still heavy, she spares one last look to the sick fuck still on the floor, writhing in pain pathetically.
“You’re fucking lucky.” Sam spits out, standing tall over him. “You deserve to be fucking dead.”
She doesn’t get an answer to that. Doesn’t expect one. Doesn’t care.
The only thing she cares about is you. She drove you to this, she thinks, with all of her shouting and general over-protectiveness. And she doesn’t - can’t - think about what would’ve happened if she hadn’t found you. It makes her feels sick.
Sam makes her way over to your side, blinking back the tears threatening to spill from her eyes. She can’t break. Not now. She needs to be strong - strong for you. You meet her gaze, your eyes widening ever so slightly.
“Sammy?” You slur.
“Yeah baby.” Sam whispers, slinging an arm around your free shoulder. “I’m here. Come on, we’re going home.”
⊹₊┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ✿ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈₊⊹
The first thing you realise when you open your eyes is that your head feels as if it about to split open. Groaning, you sit up in bed, and try to remember how the hell you even got here and into your pyjamas. It’s all such a blur, especially after your-
Your argument with Sam. Even just the memory leaves a distinct sinking in your stomach, especially paired with the fact that she’s not in bed with you. God, she’s probably still mad. The two of you didn’t argue much, but God, you hated it when you did. It hurt, not being able to tell her how much you loved her or wrap her up in your arms. It was like loosing a part of yourself.
You can hear the TV on in the living room, and you take that as a sign that either Quinn or Tara is awake. Either that or Sam’s in there, evidently too hung up on yesterday to stand the sight of you. Sighing, you rub your eyes, stupidly hoping that when you open them again, everything will have turned out to be some bad dream.
You’re not so lucky.
Laying back down in defeat, you pull up the blanket and go back to feeling sorry for yourself. You really should get something to deal with the headache, but you simply can’t bring yourself to.
You stay like that for a while, buried under sheets and contemplating your life choices until you hear a thunk on your bedside table. Wearily opening your eyes, you see a plate with a sandwich atop of it, and you move up your line of sight until you see who your personal chef is.
“You’re awake.” Sam says simply, placing a glass of water and a tub of painkillers besides the food. “Hope you’re hungry.”
You sit up once more, wincing when you move too quickly, and take the plate from the table. You murmur your thanks before taking a bite, and the two of you sit there in silence for a while. You know you need to say something, but you just can’t think what.
Luckily, Sam speaks first.
“I’m sorry, baby,” she sighs. “I know I acted out of line yesterday, and I shouldn’t have started that argument like that. I don’t ever want to fight with you, I promise. It’s just-“ Sam pauses as she scrubs a hand down her face. “I’m sorry. Are we okay?”
“Course we’re okay.” You smile. “Always. Besides, it wasn’t just you. I said I wasn’t going to go, and then I went and did it anyway. That wasn’t cool.”
“Hey.” Sam says softly. “It’s okay. You’re allowed to do what you like. It’s one thing letting what happened to me define myself, but I can’t let it ruin this. Ruin us. I don’t want to loose you.”
“You’re not going to,” you assure her. “You’re stuck with me, whether you like it or not. You got it?”
Sam laughs softly, and you wish you could bottle it and listen to the beautiful sound forever. “Loud and clear.” She stops for a second, and something darker clouds her features.
“Sam?” You question, instinctively reaching for her hand. She’s quiet for a minute, before she meets your worried gaze and speaks.
“Baby, do you remember what happened last night?” She asks softly, as if you’ll break at the mention of the topic. Frowning, you try to cast your mind back to the previous night’s event, but you only draw a blank.
“Not really. We fought, I had some more drinks. After that, it’s kind of a blur.” That’s the extent of your memories for the night, but judging by Sam’s expression, that’s not where it ends. It makes you uneasy. “Sam, “what did I do?” When you speak, your voice is barely above a whisper.
Sam’s expression softens, although she suddenly looks like she’s about to burst into tears. “You didn’t do anything, baby, I promise,” she says, nearly far too quickly. “It’s just… there was this guy.” She spits out that last part as if it were venom on her tongue. “He got a too close, tried to take advantage. And I’m not telling you this to upset you, because that’s the last thing I want. I just think you deserve to know.”
You can’t respond to that. Not yet. Because you have no idea what to with that information.
“I took care of him.” Sam says suddenly, like it’s imperative that you know. “I wouldn’t have let him hurt you. I swear to you, on my life, I-“
“Sam. I know. I know.” You say, reaching to turn her head so that she can look you in the eyes. You may not remember much, but you don’t doubt Sam when she says she took care of it - hell, if you know your girlfriend, then the asshole is probably just lucky to even resemble a human anymore. That thought should be frightening, but it’s oddly comforting, and leaves a welcome warmth in your stomach. “I believe you. Fuck, you know that I trust you. More than I trust anyone. And the fact you even came back- well, that says a hell of a lot.”
“I was always gonna come back.” Sam admits. “Doesn’t matter how mad I was, I didn’t want to leave things like that between us.”
“I know, baby. Thank y-“
“No. Don’t you dare.” Sam warns. “Don’t thank me for doing the bare minimum. If you finish that sentence, I’m gonna-“
She seems taken aback by your sudden movement, her hand moving to your face instinctively. You hope that the kiss portrays everything you need it to, says everything that you need your girlfriend to know. How much she means to you, and how grateful you are to simply have her in your life. Now you have her, it’s damn near impossible to imagine a life without Sam - your Sam. It sure as hell wouldn’t as feel as good as this, you muse to yourself.
“Love you too.” Sam says when she reluctantly pulls away. She doesn’t try to hide the smile on her face. “More than anything.” And for a moment, Sam just stares at you, a look of pure awe and a stupidly adorable grin on her face. It’s one that has you smiling right back despite yourself. “Now, you gonna eat your damn food or what? It was made with intense care, you know.”
You look over towards your forgotten sandwich, and you can’t deny that you’re hungry. Still, that doesn’t stop you from pouting and looking up at your girlfriend with what you hope are pleading doe eyes. “Fine. But if I eat, can we do the whole kissing thing again?”
“After.” She promises, climbing over you and crawling under the blankets beside you. Her body is warm, and you can feel her pressed against your side, practically radiating pure heat. “Now eat. It’s getting cold.”
“It’s a sandwich, Sam.” you remind her with a grin. “It’s supposed to be cold.”
Sam lightly kicks your foot. “Just shut up and eat it. Do you want that kiss or not?”
You shut up and eat the damn sandwich.
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absolutebl · 23 days
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This Week in BL - Japan is Winning on Kisses & Other Alternate Realities
Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.
March 2024 Wk 4
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Ongoing Series - Thai
Two Worlds (Thurs IQIYI) ep 3 of 10 - It would be great if we got the alternative romance with dead Kram from Tai’s perspective (JBL style.) Still I like this show. It’s a little bit like I Feel You Linger in the Air only with a love triangle. And while I'm not a fan of triangles as a general rule, I don’t mind it here because the set up is clever. Wayu and  ao are fun sides too. It sure is moving very quickly, which I like. I’m not entirely sure what’s going on. But that’s normal for me with this kind of Thai drama. 
Deep Night (Thurs iQiyi) ep 4 of 8 - They are extremely sappy boyfriends. I love that mom has a secret gf. Could we please have more of them? The love triangle sides are ridiculous, but I do like that it’s all out in the open. I also like they are actually addressing the complicated parental dynamics of owning a sex club. Honestly, I think Khem should have to be a host too. Learn him the right way, girl!
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City of Stars (Fri iQIYI) ep 9 of 12 - It’s good, I like the fallout and them actually having to deal with crazy fans and past relationships. They’re so good at communicating it’s kind of a pleasure to watch them suffer through external pressures, because I have faith that they can make it through.
To Be Continued (Thai C3 Thailand grey) ep 6 of 8 - They are such cute puppy dads and so clearly meant to be together, the fact that they aren’t is just frustrating. The fight thing was stupid. And not a whole lot happened... plus singing. I’m getting fatigued with this one. 
1000 Years Old ep 7 of 12 - Did I miss something happening, or did nothing happen? 
Kiseki Chapter 2 (Sun iQIYI) ep 2 of 6 - It’s so boring, there’s so much guitar playing, and it got weirdly voyeuristic (in a very much not sexy way). I’m totally out. DNF
Close Friend Season 3: Soju Bomb! (Weds iQIYI) ep 3 of 6 - I can’t tell if this is trying to be a BL Romancing the Stone, or a BL Hangover, or both. The problem with situational comedy is it must be both situational and comedic, not just option one. The problem with calling something BL, is that it must be BL. This show got 1 of 3 claims correct. 33% is not a passing grade. DNF 
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Honestly, it's the HANDS with these two. They do beautiful beautiful things with their hands. If you're one of those hands-obsessed BLabies you should be watching LIBTSTA!
Ongoing Series - Not Thai
Unknown (Taiwan Tues Youku YouTube & Viki) ep 6 of 11 - So the worst finally happened. The mountain of pain has fallen down upon us. And now, hopefully in the second half things get better for our boys. But what a rough ride. Normally, this is not my style of BL, but everyone is doing such a gorgeous job with it, I can’t fault it… except that it hurts. The red thread symbolism was elegantly done. I’d like to hope we get a reunion in the next one, but knowing this style of series they’re gonna draw it out. There's gonna be a more pain first.
Love is Better the Second Time Around AKA Koi wo Suru nara Nidome ga Joto (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 4 of 6 - Those fuck me puppy dog eyes were perfectly executed. I would not have been able to resist either. Gosh they are so damn cute. This is a great show.
Jazz for Two (Korea Gaga/grey) eps 1-2 of 8 - This comes from the Shoulder to Cry On team so I'm scared, but this one is all actors* not idols so maybe they'll be braver. Boy howdy does it have a fantastic opening sequence. Also the lead is fucking adorable. Mr Broody McBroodypants is cute too. Korea sure loves “pretty but broken.” On the JBL end of the spectrum, is everyone in love with their siblings? That’s weird. The dining room scene was painful. All in all, it's good, I'm intrigued. Let's see how you go little show.
I stand absolutely corrected the lead is a member of NEWKIDD (in my defense I'd never heard of them until Build Up last month). I did recognize him from To My Star because at the time I thought he was too pretty to be only a side character.
AntiReset (Taiwan Fri Viki/Gaga) ep 10 fin - Again there was overuse of previous footage and maudlin navel-gazing grief over something we knew was going to happen. So I didn’t really feel much emotional connection to the drama. 7 year time gap.? t was a cute reunion but the moral quandary never really got resolved. I don’t know how to rate this, I’m not sure I will ever watch it again, so that is a big mark against it.
There’s nothing objectively wrong with this BL except how upsetting it is because of the foundational pygmalion story - grown man falls in love with an android who is basically both his slave and, by maturity level, a child. Yet that premise is crystal clear from the get go, so we watch it eyes open. The actors are cute, the romance sweet, the physical chemistry on point (of course, it’s Taiwan) and yet I was left ultimately unsettled by the concept, content, and plot. 7/10 
My Strawberry Film (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 7 of 8 - I'm so ready for this to be over, and for Gaga to have something good on. Soon please?
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It's done, ready to binge, but I suck
What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps
It's airing but...
Graduation Countdown (Taiwan YouTube) - It's too much to ask me to keep up with 2 minute verticals, I don't have that kind of TikTok endurance training. Waiting to binge.
A Secretly Love (Thai Sat WeTV grey) 10 eps - I watched the first ep but grey is too much work for this inferior of a show. I may pick up and binge if it gets distribution but for now, it gets a DNF from me. KimCop might have held this crap together but Kim without Cop? No thank you.
Lady Boy Friends (Thai WeTV grey) 16 eps - reminds me a bit too much of Diary of Tootsies only high school. Not my thing. DNF unless it turns a corner and is truly amazing.
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Tangential to the genre
There has been the occasional discussion on this topic here in this little corner of tumblr so I thought there might be a few intersted in this podcast: AmericanThaiGuy Ron Weaver on the Complicated Issue of Racism in Thailand (The Bangkok Podcast)
Thailand passed its Marriage Equality bill through the lower house. It's expected to pass the high house and get signed by the King, but that hasn't quite happened yet.
And MaxTul dropped a photo shoot.
Next Week Looks Like This:
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Starting Soon
3/31 Only Boo! (Thai GMMTV YouTube) 12 eps - New main couple for GMMTV in an idol romance about a boy who dances good and a food stand vendor. Other side of the tracks grumpy/sunshine pair who fall deeply in love but, of course, baby boy idol can't date. Boyband but from GMMTV? Control your singing and I'm game.
3/31 The Next Prince (Thai ????) 12 eps - trailer. ZeeNew in a fantasy/historical set in a palace where Zee plays a knight and Nu a prince - YES PLEASE. (Apparently this is just the pilot, not the start of the actual show, see comments.)
4/1 Love is like a Cat (Korea ????) 12 eps - This completed filming Aug 2022(!) which means there have been serious problems with post-production. This is another of Silkwood's Korean+Thai colab projects. Mew Suppasit plays a rookie film star, called the Cat Prince (for his cold arrogance) who goes up against a charismatic puppyish animal daycare director (JM of JUST B). There is a side romance (love triangle?) with a veterinarian. Geonu of JUST B is also in the cast. Dual languages.
Hum, trash-watch-a-licious?
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4/3 We Are (Thai GMMTV YouTube iQIYI) 12 eps - University ensemble BL featuring PondPhuwin, WinnySatang, AouBoom, MarcPawinPoon - basically the good kind of messy gay friendship group (so more My Engineer and less Only Friends). Looks a bit like the Kiss series but everyone is queer. I'm IN!
4/11 Living With Him AKA Kare no Iru Seikatsu (Japan ????) 10 eps - Kindly Ryota goes off to uni only to find his new roommate is his childhood bestie, Kazuhito. Kazuhito doesn’t have a girlfriend and Ryota tries to help him figure out why, they fall in love along the way. Same director as Old Fashion Cupcake.
4/11 Gray Shelter AKA Gray Currents (Korea ????) 4 eps - SooHyuk is only just surviving and reunites with YoonDae, an old friend. They end up living together. One of the leads is played by Choco of Choco Milk Shake.
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4/18 At 25:00, in Alaska AKA 25 Ji, Akasaka de (Japan Gaga - may not be global) 10 eps - Yuki lands his first starring role in a BL drama alongside superstar Asami (previously his senior at uni). Said superstar suggests they form a sham relationship until filming concludes. As they actually begin to fall in love, the spotlight begins to burn.
Seriously? You're killing me with these titles, boys.
4/26 My Stand-In (Thai iQIYI) 12 eps - adaptation of Chinese novel "Professional Body Double" by Shui Qiang Cheng. Stars Up (Lovely Writer) and Poom (Bake Me Please) directed by the same team as KP (not a recommendation IMHO - my biggest criticism of that show was the clashing directing styles). This one looks well complicated, lemme try: Joe is a stuntman for famous actor Tong. Joe falls in love with Ming but Ming sees Joe as nothing more than a Tong-replacement. After learning this horrible truth, Joe dies. Joe then wakes up in the body of another man also named Joe. He manages to rebuild the same life as before—with the same people eventually re-meeting Ming. Ming wants Joe back but Joe doesn't understand why. But Ming seems to know what's going on and wants to give him some kind of explanation.
I'm exhausted just trying to describe the plot.
Knock-Knock Boys (Thai WeTV) - 4 college friends conspire to help their friend lose his virginity. Familiar faces like Seng (yes, Billy's previous partner) and Best, news here.
Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.
NOTE: It looks like one of my personal favorites of last year Unintentional Love Story is getting a spin off!
THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENT
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Just these two, in my head, rent free. Thanks Japan!
(Last week)
Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are too much work.
The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @rocketturtle4
If ya wanna be tagged each week leave a comment and I will add you to the template. Easy peesy. (With so many tags when does a weekly tumblr post become a newsletter? That is this week's philosophical question...)
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crystaljellie · 1 month
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I honestly think that there are so many interesting songs that fit the life series characters so well, so I’m going to talk about them here and explain why I associate them with these songs!
Bdubs - Never love an anchor by the crane wives
"With this heart of mine that's guilty, not remorseful" | It's guilty because Bdubs feels bad, he feels bad he couldn't achieve what he should. He feels bad that he killed Impulse in third life, betrayed him, and even then it got him nothing. He's guilty because he knows the harm he's caused
"There is love that doesn't have a place to rest, but it would burry you if it had settled on your shoulders" | I notice that Bdubs has a lot of trust and faith in his companies, something about this brings back the 'He loves me' scene from last life back. Bdubs loves a lot more than people seem to think he does, so he must hold it back in case of that love being used against him
"I am selfish, I am broken, I am cruel" | Maybe things that Bdubs wants to be, for the sake of letting go and letting himself detach from these people so losing them doesn't hurt as much. Letting other people label him as such
BigB - Know How by the Crane wives
"I am not brave; I keep my focus on what is safe," | I think this is fitting to BigB even if it's not necessarily true; I think from his perspective how he feels, ignoring how he is actually very brave. But at the same time he does keep his focus on what is safe, there's a reason why he always makes it to the final or session before the final.
"Just because I know what I'm supposed to do now, doesn't mean I know how" (Edited line to be shorter) | I'm not sure how to explain this but I do think it really fits him, he knows all the things he's meant to do, to survive, for example killing with the boogeymancurse, but he dragged it out till the very very end before he killed Cleo in last life, because he didn't know how he was supposed to do it.
Etho - I don’t know anyone I am by Salvia Palth
"I don't know anyone, I am in relation to anyone I guess" | Etho has always been seen as a loner throughout all seasons, he doesn't very much get the time to make meaningful bonds or understand his teammates. It makes sense he would struggle to see himself as more than just a survivor as well, he hasn't given himself the time to focus on anything else.
Scar - Icicles by The Scary Jokes
"Their shallow observations will only stall the transformation" | This is very secret life scar to me, maybe something something the watchers talking to him, everyone forcing the title of villain onto him, yet the watchers see him as a gift to them, as a victor and they're trying to make sure Scar keeps doing what he has been and not back out because they're calling him 'villain'
"But I admit it would be easier, To be relieved of all this shame and not have to wear it on my sleeve." | This fits Scar's feelings on the matter, not wanting to go forward, not wanting to be shamed and outcast by the rest of the lifers.
"I can only be forgiven if I'm giving myself up to you" | Secret life in general but also back in 3rd life, Scar believing he can only make up for killing Grian at the end by having Grian kill him, something something 'slay me and take the enchanter'
"My world has turned so cold, but I won't cry, 'cause icicles don't soften when they die so why should I" | Despite Scar being constantly alone, he stayed strong he never 'softened' or cried he also became cold which is why he won.
Grian - Bird Song by Florence + The Machine
"And he sang about what I'd become" | How Grian had slowly lost his mind in third life as well as all the other games, how Grian had became someone obsessed with getting kills, going out of his way to trick and trap people and find loopholes to kill
"I picked up the bird and above the den I said 'That's the last song you'll ever sing" | Grian doesn't want to think that he might be a bad person, or he might be going crazy, so he has to silence anyone saying otherwise, anyone that might prove a danger to him. Maybe because he can't let the watchers get word that he's exactly who they say he his. Maybe even so this is relating to the theory that he might have been the one to curse Jimmy.
Impulse - A Mask of My Own Face by Nature Tapes
Okay now hear me out on this one, Impulse is constantly in and out of alliances especially in third life, lying to everyone to gain vantage.
"And none of them would know that I am secretly myself" | Because they trust that Impulse is putting on a facade all the time, but maybe what they are missing is that the facade is what he considers to be him. Or at the very least keeps him safer
"I'd blame it on the person that nobody knows I am" | Something about him always being like 'Oh I did this so they'd trust me more I'm still on your side I promise' Or 'I did this for the task!' When he could have absolutely targeted anyone else.
Martyn - Metaphors by The Crane wives
"I've gotten good at living on someone elses page" | It's the way Martyn is always deceiving and always planning to betray, living on someone else's page, being content and loyal until he has the chance not to be.
"You can't trust a single thing I say" | Idk something about him talking about how he was planning to betray Ren in third life.
"Don't look too hard cause you won't like the scars he left in me" | THIS BEING SO TREEBARK LISTEN TO ME. HE GAVE UP SO MUCH TO REN THERE ARE SO MANY SCARS CAUSED BY FOLLOWING THE ORDERS TO KILL SOMEONE YOU LOVE
Lizzie - The Crooked the Cradle by The crane wives
"There's blood in the water" | Thinking about Lizzie showing up in limited life to play Pearl and the first thing she was tasked with is killing. Like she showed up and instantly was given the title of boogeyman, a gimmick that was only there in the one other season she was in, a sense of familiarity and a sense of dread.
"The quiet are restless the silent are still" | When there is peace on the server and it is quiet there are people waiting to kill. When it is silent it is because all is dead. And Lizzie knows that well being quick to die each time, she is the silent, especially when she fell into the void, she died alone and in scilence.
"If Mercy's abound I'll be safe I'll be sound, and the devil won't know of the love I just couldn't let go" | Something about Joel being the cause of her death In Secret life... loved him so much she went down for him, she couldn't let it go and it got her killed.
"Can anyone hear me?" | Her in the void not being able to be heard....
Mumbo - Saint Bernard by Lincoln
"To remind me that I am a fool" | I am very strongly of the headcanon that Mumbo is also a watcher, something something he needs to remind himself that he is fooling himself into thinking he could fit in with the world of the watchers or the world of the players
"When I am dead I won't join their ranks because they are both holy and free" | And Mumbo's not, Mumbo doesn't get to go where they go, he still has more to do, more to make up for. Still instructions left to follow
"There's really just one thing that we have in common, neither of us will be missed" This is so Mumbo talking to Grian coded for me
Pearl - Here I am by the Crane wives
"How long have I been here all alone" Double life Pearl in her tower....
"Settled in, had a plan but I never factored in, Everyone else saying goodbye" | Basically also double life Pearl she had a plan with Martyn go to the nether get stuff come back find her soulbound, and then they all left her.
"This ghost town is making a ghost of me" | Everyone dying around her, and being alone like this without chance of redemption slowly killing her.
"I promised myself I'd learn to be the one who leaves" | Throughout the next games, like secret life, she'd be the one who leaves instead of gets left behind, but she didn't seeing how she was always last one alive out of her teammates
Skizz - Wrecking ball by mother mother
"I made a fist and not a plan" | Skizz is usually quite reckless and goes action first plan second.
"You gotta see the artistry In tearing the place apart with me, baby" | This but more in the ironic sense, because Skizz while he wants to reign chaos he is also fiercely loyal and kind to his allies, so tearing the place apart with me, is important. He doesn't just want to cause chaos he wants connections
Scott - Icarus
"Climb ye higher and higher and higher 'Til you're far away and breathing cleaner air" | Scott winning last life, climbing higher and higher through the ranks until he breaks through the clouds into what he had hoped was cleaner air spoiler alert it’s not.
"Who have you become in the wake of all that's happened here?" | What’s happened to you, what happened in last life that changed you, what made you so cold and bitter and so quick to assume the worst when double life came
"Spreading out the ashes of a love That only gave and gave" | Either this as flower husbands, being the ashes of a love that only gave to others, or specifically Scott’s love, that only gave and gave to the one whom he loved
"There's no room for all the hearts who will not stay" | For the people who will not stay with him, the watchers pressuring him to do better and leave the, behind. He won’t though.
Joel - The Wolf by the crane wives
"I will join the wolf at my door Breathing out storms when she comes around" | Well yes we know Joel is a dog boy clearly, but also how he is oh so aggressive to everyone he meets, ferocious and knocking things down.
"I am always burning, burning, burning" | Burning with rage? Burning things down? So many emotions they're lighting up his world so much that it blinds him from seeing anything else
Jimmy - Hollow Moon By the crane wives
"In the darkness, Slowly crawling over my skin, Whispers at the door, "let us in, let us in" | Whispers of the watchers, or maybe his curse, something knocking to let death in.
"I won't be sleeping, There's too many monsters in the backyard" | Okay yes funny because of Minecraft mechanics. But also, idk something about Jimmy not being able to see the watchers but still feeling their presence.
(I'm giving Jimmy an extra song because he's special)
Strawberry blond by Mitski
"I love everybody because I love you When you stood up, walked away barefoot And the grass where you lay left a bed in your shape I looked over it and I ached" | YES I AM BACK ON MY FLOWER HUSBANDS BULLSHIT! Trust me so much they're so insanely in love, they love the world because they love each other, their relationship is so sweet and soft.
"All I need, darlin', is a life in your shape I picture it, soft, and I ache" | because all they ever needed was each other, not the death not the violence, just to be in love
Tango - Monster by Dodie
"I'm guessing that I've grown horns I guess I'm human no more I can tell I've rotted in your brain" | Tango's anger and wondering if those reactions made others see less in him. Make him a monster
"You think I'm a crazy bitch I craft my words to fit your head 'Cause no one listens to the dead" | Idk... something about this and Tango, he always dies relatively early too, maybe it's only death that'll comfort him
Cleo - The Garden by The Crane Wives
"My stone, My shield, my steady hand, Hold your light To the darkness in my head" | Something about this being about how Scott has been her friend and ally throughout all seasons
"Give me something pretty to wear beneath my blood-stained clothes" | I CAN'T EXPLAIN IT BUT THIS IS LIMITED LIFE CLETHO, DOES ANYONE HEAR ME PLEASE TRUST
"My darling, the devil knows my name" | Cleo makes a name known for herself by fighting, making a point with their sword
"Get on your knees and, Dig up the garden, Won't you throw down that spade and, Dig up the garden, darling?" | Something something a wife talking to her husband
Ren - Arms Tonite by Mother Mother
"I died in your arms tonight" | Martyn killing Ren in 3rd life....
"I lost sight in your arms tonight, it was nice" | Lost sight of the goal so obsessed with his kingdom and the Red army
"I cry hard because I have died, and you're alive" | Martyn out living him (Not by very long) In third life
Gem - The Well by the Crane Wives
"All the words I couldn't say to you Fill up the spaces in my chest" | This being Shiny Duo and Gem and pearl being on different sides unsure of how to stay together
"Send me anywhere, take me out I'm the well they're gonna drag you down" | Gem knowing she's only going to be used as a catalyst to hurt others despite her wants
"That old house, those rotting memories Burned easier than I'd have thought" | Those short memories of limited life being replaced by the nicer memories of at least the first half of secret life
And I am done yapping, mayhaps I will do more someday
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austonwithan-o · 11 months
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“We’re parents? Like actually parents?”
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No warnings really… pregnancy ig if that’s a trigger
You sat on the bathroom floor. The cold tiles sending chills throughout your body, the pregnancy test on the counter sat there. Your period was late. You hadn’t told Auston mostly because you just realized it that day but you also didn’t want to freak him out, he already had so much going on during off season. Training and planning for the season to start, it was a lot and the last thing you wanted to do was stress him out. You were shaking, praying for a good outcome but you didn’t know what a good outcome was. Auston and you always talked about getting married first before having kids. That’s just the way you were raised and how you pictured your future. Starting a family was one of your biggest dreams and you had expressed it many times with him but with his career and everything going on for him, he wanted to wait a few more years. On the other hand you wouldn’t mind having a mini you or a mini him running around playing floor hockey until you were confident enough to get them in skates, imagining Auston as a dad made your heart ache longingly for those days but you had no idea how Auston would react to it being so soon. You looked down at your phone. The 3 minute timer rang loudly in your ears and you slowly stood up. Grabbing the packaging you peeled the wrapper back revealing two pink lines. Your breath was caught in your throat. You felt nauseous and shaky. Quiet sobs left your mouth but you covered your mouth because you knew you wouldn’t be able to stop once the crying really started. Your mind started racing with every outcome, truthfully you were happy but god you were terrified what Auston would think. You put the pregnancy test back in the box and threw it in the trash grabbing a wad of toilet paper and throwing it in to cover it. Auston wasn’t too observant thankfully. You knew he’d never look in the trash can and it bought you some time to think about how you would break the news to him.
You washed your hands and wiped your eye’s making yourself look presentable. It was almost 5 and he’d be home from playing golf with Mitch and Willy. Walking out of the bathroom and making your way downstairs you saw Auston pull into the driveway. You watched as the three piled out of the car grabbing their gear out of the back, you sat at the bar scrolling through instagram trying to distract yourself. The front door opening letting the warm Arizona air drift in.
“Hey baby how did the golfing go?” You asked not looking up from your phone.
“Absolutely crushed these goons.” He said laughing. He walked over lightly grabbing the side of your face, planting a kiss to your temple grabbing a beer from the fridge. Your anxiety was through the roof at this point and he knew something was up.
“Man I don’t even care, I’ve won the last 3 games buddy I just let you win this time.” Mitch said throwing his hat on the dining room table. “Sauce me a beer will ya?” Everyone was gathered around the bar at this point chatting and talking about their game mostly making fun of each other laughing.
“Mitch no one likes a sore loser bud.” Willy said cracking the beer open taking a long sip.
“I’m not a sore loser I’m just saying I won the last 3 times. This one win doesn’t mean anything.” You couldn’t help but laugh at their childish banter.
“Baby you want a drink?” Auston asked grabbing a white claw from your side of the drink fridge.
“Oh I’m okay! I’m not thirsty.” You said giving him a small smile, finally looking at him he gave you a weird look putting the drink back in the fridge. He went on with his conversation with the boys who were completely oblivious to the slight tension between you two.
You got up from the bar area heading back up to your room. Auston’s eyes not leaving your figure walking up the marble stairs, you could feel his eyes burning into the back of your head. You laid in your bed with Felix staring at the ceiling, you were so exhausted you slowly drifted off to sleep.
You woke up to it being pitch dark outside and a warm spot from where Felix was laying beside you. You checked your phone and checked the time, 9:55pm, “holy shit y/n… 5 hours?” You rolled your eyes slightly annoyed with yourself for sleeping so long. You definitely weren’t getting any sleep tonight. You got up from the bed walking into the bathroom to brush your teeth and at least get ready for the night and the trash can was spilled onto the floor. Felix had a tendency to go through the trash can and you were mentally punching yourself for not shutting the door this morning. Horror filled your mind as you realized the pregnancy test was missing.
“Fucking hell Felix!” You whispered under your breath. You were certain Auston was probably taking a night swim or watching tv downstairs. All you had to do was find Felix and get the test before Auston could find it. You tiptoed downstairs and found him sitting on the couch watching TV. His back was facing towards you. Felix’s head perked up from the couch, Auston didn’t move and neither did you.
“You wanna talk about it?” His voice was raspy. You could tell he had been crying and your heart broke at the sound of it.
He finally turned around holding the test. His face showed no emotion. Slowly walking towards him the tears started streaming down your face again.
“Auston I didn’t mean to hide it from you I swear. I - I just needed time to process it, I was going to tell you I swear.” Your voice wash shaky and small, he lightly grabbed your wrists bring you down to his lap. His eyes were glossy and his lips curved into a slight smile.
“Y/n I love you with my whole entire being God I can’t even imagine my life without you. I know we weren’t planning this but I’m ready to be a dad if you’re ready to be a mom. I want to grow old with you, I want to raise a little family, teach our kids how to skate, how to play hockey.” He was crying and his words made you cry as well. His hands travelled from your hips to your tummy. His tattooed hand rested onto your tummy lightly rubbing it. Your cheeks were on fire. The feeling of everything was so surreal.
“Auston we’re gonna be parents now…like actual parents!” Tears still poured out of your eyes but a wide smile spread across your face. He placed a kiss on your forehead placing it against yours. “You know I kind of guessed it earlier.” A cocky grin was plastered on his tear stained face. You rolled your eyes.
“Oh yeah? How’s that?” You asked now playing with the chain around his neck.
“You refused a white claw for starters and I know when you start your period and it’s been a week since you usually start. I put two and two together and when Felix brought the test to me it just confirmed it.”
“I’m mildly impressed that you pieced that together.” He just laughed. Lifting your chin up and kissing you. He scanned your features. He was so lucky and he knew it.
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