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#don’t wanna be here anymore

sunshinethena · 2 years

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screaming!!! i wanna curl up with you right now!!!

SCREAMING!!! i wanna let the world fade away as our skin melts into each other

#thena is thinking #thena is yearning #ccc #i desire you baby #i’m foaming st the mouth wanting to be with you #hnnghghghh #don’t wanna be here anymore #gah!!

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flowercrowngods · 6 months

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the prompt: rest | rating: G | cw: non-explicit trauma-related insomnia

The steady thrum of the engine is like gentle white noise that not only fills Eddie’s head and smoothes out the frayed edges of consciousness, but runs through his whole body as a comforting presence. It spreads from the hands holding the wheel in a loose, easy grip up his arms and to his shoulders, down his chest where it settles in his gut. That feeling of belonging, of comfort, of familiarity. It leaves him with a smile as he shifts the gear, accelerating a little on the open street.

No one else is out here tonight, and there’s no destination ahead, but his goal has long since been reached.

Part of him wants to roll down the window to feel the breeze in his hair, allow November in just for five minutes, just for the duration of this next song.

Hey, little girl, is your daddy home? Did he go and leave you all alone?

But he won’t, because this moment is not his.

He glances over to the side, catches the split second where the passing street lights make Steve glow golden, his breath even, his face relaxed. His eyes closed, his forehead void of pained frowns. He’s been asleep for an hour.

It mends something inside him, seeing Steve like this, but something splinters all the same.

“What do you need? What can I give you? Please, Steve, you need to sleep. You deserve to rest.”

He remembers asking, tears welling up in his eyes and desperation clawing at his insides, clawing to get out and tear at Steve, tear at him to find out what it is that Eddie can do.

“Can we just— Drive? For a while?”

“Where to?”

“Nowhere, just… Might help.”

And it did. It does.

It’s been a few months now, and sometimes it’s Wayne who takes Steve — or both of them — on a ride to lull him to sleep with a steady engine and a tape that Vecna never touched.

And every time, Steve wakes the second the car stops. But it’s fine, because he’ll smile, he’ll say, “Thank you”, he’ll say, “I love you,” and he’ll lie on Eddie’s chest for the rest of the night, listening to the steady thrum of his heart while Eddie hums a quiet melody until Steve is asleep again.

written for @steddiemicrofic, dedicated to @auroraplume because i can 🤍🌷

#steddie fic #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fanfic #stranger things #steddie microfic #hi reese this is for you idk #🤍#i wish i could enjoy car rides again. especially at night and with music. unfortunately my intrusive thoughts get in the way #they get really really bad and i don’t wanna watch people die anymore but the concept is still nice so here 🥺#dio words #dio’s steddie ramblings

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theshadowrealmitself · 1 month

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Thoughts rn: a Vulcan sitting down at their desk after their Human spouse visited them at work and seeing a new picture frame containing one of the photos from their wedding/bonding ceremony and they decide to just keep it there

#till eventually it starts fucking with their work because they look at it and just think #‘I miss my spouse. I don’t wanna be here anymore.’#star trek #humans #Vulcans

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yeowche · 3 months

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About Time’s trauma

(Yeah we’re doing this)

So, I like to think that the Hero of Time does not remember the time he spent in the spirit realm. He spent seven years in solitary confinement… the least the goddesses could do was remove that burden from his consciousness.

Except they didn’t, completely.

Because when he sleeps, he doesn’t dream - he returns to that place, that endless, white void. Perhaps it’s a blip in the system, an aspect that the goddesses forgot to take into account. Maybe it’s intentional. He wouldn’t know.

Every day, he wakes up with no recollection of any of it. But whoever’s with him (read: Malon), can see him thrashing and clearly not having a good time while he is asleep. She asks about it, of course – several times, to no avail. Because he genuinely can’t answer her questions.

But he talks in his sleep, and Malon is able to piece together the little bits of information she gets.

Anyway there’s that and then there’s tHe mOoN

#imagine the spirit realm being like Janet’s Void from The Good Place #if you were wondering what stuff he says in his sleep #(because you love angst like I do)#‘let me out’#‘I don’t wanna be here anymore’#‘please let me go’#loz #zelda #the legend of zelda #ocarina of time #majoras mask #hero of time #loz headcanon #zelda headcanon #loz hc #loz oot #malink #oot link #oot malon

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thasorns · 3 months

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I cannot shake my thoughts about this and I’ll know I’ll keep this drama close to my heart. The fact that Myung ha’s ‘sunbae’ opened the riff to the world with the question “would you change it for me?” Also the fact that Myung ha’s alternate universe/game world started with the sound of an ocean tells already a lot about it but we won’t know until Episode 8 why. Throughout the series we watched Myung ha doing everything in his power to make Yeo woon happy while he himself couldn’t rely, couldn’t trust, couldn’t open himself up to him. We know the phrase of his ex gf “you don’t know how to love anyone.” left a deep scar in his soul which he carried with to the alternate universe/game. I try to think the system errors which occurred during the game was a way to change Myung ha’s mindset to not make the same mistakes and/or go on with his habitual habits he did in his life before he drowned himself. Also the different tasks was it actually for Myung ha to realize that he’s the one who makes Yeo-woon happy (which he didn’t). He retreated himself from Yeo woon because he couldn’t choose between the most important persons in his life as we saw his grandma died in real life which makes me think if he also knew that because in one sequence in the game/au it asked him if he wants to bring back some memories of Myung ha’s life. Also the last I love you from Yeo woon was the cherry on top to let the system completely crash where he distanced himself from Yeo woon. “I want to spend my remaining time making Yeo woon happy as best as I can. But it seems the more I try, the more unhappy I make Yeo-woon.” Which Myung ha remembers what Yeo-woon said: “whenever I see you, I both feel good and want to cry. I feel so much about every little thing. But I’m not happy at all right now.” Which again I try to think it is about why Myung ha doesn’t rely more on him? Why he doesn’t open himself up to him? A relationship is based off of trust, give and take… etc. but Myung ha goes into this relationship with deep rooted traumas which causes lack of self love. If one loves not itself enough how can they expect to love someone else which what explains Myung ha’s last phrase in the same scene so much. “Why did I think I could make you happy?” It’s as if he doesn’t think that a loner like him could be the one to give him love and happiness. What follows after is that he choses Yeo woon’s happiness even if he’s not his happiness… which again brings me to the beginning where Myung ha thinks “but I prefer lonely supporting characters to happy protagonists.” In this case he’s the lonely supporting character to our happy protagonist Yeo-woon. “But being fated to live that kind of life… is just so unfair.” He knew/knows how cruel life can be so he chose his happiness over everything and got vanished from the game. He realized by now that Yeo-woon is/was more important than he wanted to admit. Yeo-woon is/was a glimpse of happiness in Myung ha’s life. What brings us to the tragic backstory of his life and how he lived. All the obstacles he endured and went through led to his drowning (at this point we saw Yeo-woon’s obstacles in the alternate universe/game at least in my opinion). This is the turning point for Myung ha. “I was hoping if you saw yourself from someone else’s perspective, you would learnt to love yourself. I thought if you learned to love someone, you would be a little happier.” I want to make a reference here to the title itself “Love for Love’s sake” because all the sacrifices he did and cared more for others than himself… but he found happiness. In Yeo-woon. And he chose his own happiness for once. It’s the way he chooses all these things for himself, to open himself up for him, to rely and be cared for. “It would be nice to have someone. Someone who cares by my side. Someone who gives me chances when I fail and feel hopeless. It would be nice to have someone who always gives me love.” Which they found both in each other.

#caddi watches #love for love's sake #I didn’t proofread it and it’s already 3 in the morning and I wrote this while I had cix’ ”I’m here for you” didn’t help either #also the one scene in the hospital where he met his sunbae the background genius. I try to think that this scene could’ve been #a turning point but when the sunbae asked to be with the loved one longer he chose the painless way #he still didn’t got it in my opinion… that’s why the remaining days deducted so fast it’s what I want to think #he was still bitter and rather pessimistic about love ‘people don’t stay together forever’ (I didn’t looked it up this time)#anyway this already got super long so I don’t wanna ramble extra in the tags #if you read this congratulations for reading a novel if not also okay because I wrote it down for me :)#which barely do btw I don’t write my thoughts and opinions anymore #and yes I chose the word ‘which’ a lot #zey rants #zey rambles

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jefferythejelly · 11 months

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quackity making a whole disclaimer to not send hate and that’s it’s all lighthearted and fiction while announcing a presidential election arc for qsmp when he couldn’t even tell his stans off for doxxing and harassing usmp fans and dream on twitter. okay. :|

#negative #sorry i don’t even normally watch his shit anymore or give a shit abt what’s going on in the server but foosh was reacting to his stream #and i’m just sitting here like. fuck off bro. jesus christ #i don’t wanna start a whole other neg wave but it’s like. Bro Cannot Be Serious

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smilesrobotlover · 6 months

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Whumptober day 14- water inhalation

I don’t like this one. Like, I like some parts of it but overall how it was written I don’t like. Oh well. It’s not meant to be perfect lol. It is obvious that I’m getting burnt out with all this writing?

Anyways, warning for water inhalation, nearly drowning, a frickin water monster, and yeah.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The water was dark and cold as Sky swam through it, clenching his teeth around the water dragon’s scale for dear life. The lake he, Warriors, and Twilight were near needed to be investigated in order to find a kidnapped zora, and Twilight was the only one with zora armor. Sky had his dragon scale, but Warriors didn’t trust how it ran out of air until he broke the surface or ran into a bubble. Since they had to go into deeper waters, where bubbles were not promised, Sky supposed it made some sense. But he hated having Twilight go on his own. It wasn’t that he doubted Twilight’s ability, his zora armor seemed very dependable in water, but the way Twilight eyed the water nervously made Sky nervous for him.

“I’ll be back with the missing zora in no time,” Twilight reassured, mostly to himself. “It shouldn’t take that long.”

“Are you sure you’re good to go on your own?” Sky asked. “I know that it’s not armor but my scale has worked before…”

“Sky you were in shallower water, this is deep water. Anything could happen,” Warriors said, and Sky frowned.

“Shallow water isn’t that safe compared to deep water,” he mumbled.

“Well I’ll be fine,” Twilight said. “It’s not the first time I’ve been in deep water. I’ll be back soon, hopefully.”

Sky sighed and watched as he put up his mask and disappeared into the water. Sky and Warriors waited, and waited, and waited until Sky couldn’t wait any longer. It had been hours since Twilight dove into the water, and fear for his friend overwhelmed him. If Twilight was in danger, how would they know? If he drowned, how would they know? Being in water was dangerous, and despite Warrior’s protests, Sky took off his clothes and jumped into the water, with his trusty dragon scale hanging in his mouth.

Sky didn’t know how long he had been swimming. There weren’t a lot of obstacles, and it was overall an easy swim, but it was dark enough and deep enough to make Sky uncomfortable. Thankfully, there were plenty of air bubbles for Sky to use to fill up the air in his scale, so he didn’t worry about running out like he thought he would. So he hoped that finding Twi would be a simple task for him.

Sky stopped by a big rock and gave his arms a moment to rest. He’s been swimming for a while, the pressure of being so deep was hurting his ears, and he could feel his hands begin to get all pruny. But there was no sign of Twilight, so he knew he needed to keep going. Sky eventually found himself in a strange underwater cave, or at least, he thought it was a cave. Nothing about it looked natural, in fact, it looked like a castle that was underwater, rotting away from years of neglect. Sky knew that this was where the zora was being held, and that this was where Twilight was.

When he entered the weird cave-palace, he was relieved at the different glowing algae lighting up the place. He didn’t know how any of it worked, but it helped him see where he was going, so he decided not to think about it. When he entered a more slim hallway however, he noticed that it wasn’t as lit up as the rest of the palace, and it seemed to have been a lot cleaner. That was odd…

“Excuse me.”

Sky flinched and swam away until his back hit a wall. He groaned in pain and looked around. Did he imagine that voice? Is he losing his mind?

“I’m sorry to scare you, turn around.”

Sky spun around and saw— what he assumed was — a zora. He looked at her in surprise, he was expecting the zora to look more like the parella, but seeing this one, they were nothing alike. The zora was in a cage of some sorts, only able to peak out of a small opening on the top.

“Are you a friend of that Hylian?” She asked, and Sky nodded, assuming that she was talking about Twilight. “I thought so. He was here, trying to help me. But when he found a key to open this cage, a monster with tentacles grabbed him! I don’t know where he is, I’m so worried about him.”

Sky felt his heart drop. So Twilight was in danger, and was attacked by some monster that Sky knew nothing about. Just great. Sky had fought Tentalus before, so a tentacled monster didn’t frighten him, but he fought the monster above water, not in water. The idea of fighting something as big as Tentalus in the water scared him.

“I think I may know where the creature took him,” the zora started, “I think the key he had before he was grabbed is around here somewhere. If you get me out, I can help you save him.”

Sky nodded and immediately looked at the ground below him. Lo and behold, he found a big key in the corner. He grabbed it and unlocked the cage, allowing the zora to leave her prison.

“Follow me!” She said before swimming out of the hallway. Sky struggled to follow her, she was definitely built for water, and many times she had to stop and wait for Sky to catch up. His arms and legs were burning, and his throat was painfully dry. Sky just had to make sure that he didn’t cough, or else he’d inhale a bunch of water. He already did that before, and the pneumonia he got from it was not fun. Finally, he and the zora reached an open area, and Sky couldn’t hold back the gasp when he saw a big creature with tentacles jutting out all over its body. Sky narrowed his burning eyes and saw that one of the tentacles was wrapped around something.

Twilight.

Sky felt fear burst through his chest, not knowing if Twilight was conscious, unconscious, or worse. He turned to the zora and gestured for her to stay.

“You want me to stay?” She asked.

Sky nodded.

“Alright, be very careful.”

Sky nodded again and swam as fast as he could to Twilight, but also as quietly as he could. The monster wasn’t moving, so he assumed that it was asleep, and he did not want to wake it up. Sky carefully went up the tentacle that held Twilight, and he felt relief when he saw the mask on his face, meaning (he hoped) that he was still getting air. But his relief quickly melted away when he noticed that Twilight was unconscious. He went up to his and cupped his face in his hands.

Twilight, please open your eyes, he thought to himself, wishing he could say it. Twilight made a strained face, and his eyes began to open. Sky’s fear quickly disappeared when he saw Twilight’s pale blue eyes looking back at him in shock. Sky smiled, then began to observe the situation. Twilight was unable to move in the tentacle he was trapped in. His legs were free, but his arms were trapped, pinning them to his sides. Sky watched Twi try to struggle, but the monster’s tentacles were too strong. Sky dove down deeper, observing the tentacles. He didn’t want to wake up the monster, but he had to get the tentacles to let him go. Sky gently stroked the tentacle, and it squirmed a bit. Sky panicked, but he saw that Twilight was able to get an arm free, and the monster stayed dormant. Sky and Twi made eye contact and they both nodded. Sky continued to pet the tentacles, feeling nauseous at how slimy they were. They squirmed, and Twi was able to get his other free. Sky smiled at Twilight, until an ear piercing screech rang out, shaking the whole building. Sky looked behind him and saw the zora he rescued swimming out in the middle, smiling maliciously at Sky. The zora suddenly melted into strange goop, the stuff floating in the water, and realization hit Sky. Was this a trap set by the puppeteer? Anger boiled in Sky’s chest, but the situation returned to him when there was quick movement besides him. The monster holding Twi stirred, and Sky watched the rancher struggle as the tentacles tightened around his waist. Twilight yelped as he was then dragged through the water, along with the rest of the monster that began to circle around Sky.

Panic surged through Sky when he saw the round mouth full of pointy teeth snarl at him. This thing was not Tentalus. Sky didn’t even know where to begin on fighting it. A tentacle almost hit Sky in the head, and he dove down to get lower, feeling the air beginning to thin out. He looked around for different air bubbles, then at Twilight, who was struggling against the tentacle that continued to squeeze.

Fighting was out of the question. He needed to get this thing to let go of Twilight, then they could escape. Saving a zora was out of the question since the zora was a fake, so all he had to focus on was Twi. An air bubble appeared in front of Sky, and he quickly grabbed it, filling the scale with air again. He eyed the tentacle holding Twi, and tore through the water, dashing as hard as he could into the tentacle. The creature shrieked, tentacles whipping around sporadically. Sky dodged them and rammed into the tentacle again, and again, and again. Sky looked up and saw that Twi was slipping free. Determination flew through Sky and he rammed into the tentacle again, ignoring how the air was beginning to run out. Twi miraculously slipped free from the tentacles, and Sky felt relieved. Now they could finally get out of here. But before Sky could try to swim away, a tentacle slammed into him, and he crashed into the wall. The dragon scale popped out of his mouth, and he involuntarily swallowed water. Sky felt his heart spike as he realized that he had no air, and no way to get air unless he broke the surface. Twilight dove for Sky, grabbing and dragging him through the water. The tentacles made a hole in the wall, and Twilight kicked his legs as hard as he could, dragging Sky through the hole. The monster roared as the two heroes fled, debris from the sunken castle threatening to crush them, but Twi dodged it all, swimming surprisingly fast for dragging Sky.

The hero of skies tried to avoid unnecessary movement, knowing that if he stayed still, then he would be able to preserve oxygen. But he couldn’t help but try to ease the strain that Twi was going through. Sky looked up at the surface, desperation for air clawing at his burning lungs, and he kicked his legs a little more frantically. Twi looked down at him in worry, trying to go faster, but darkness was already entering Sky’s vision. Bubbles escaped his mouth as it became unbearable, but all Sky could do was to kick helplessly. Finally, unconsciousness overcame him, and for a moment, all Sky could feel was peace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Sky opened his eyes, all he could see was darkness.

Where am I? He thought to himself, trying to move his hand to his aching head, but he felt impossibly heavy. It felt as if all energy was sapped right out of him, and he almost wanted to go back to sleep, but something kept him from doing so.

Am I dead? Was his first thought. He didn’t know why it came to mind, but he tried to remember all that happened before. He had to save Twi, there was a monster, they were in water… did he drown? Sky groaned as he tried to sit up, but he had no strength, and a sudden cough assaulted him.

“Sky!”

Sky opened his eyes and was surprised to see Warriors sitting over him. Panic surged through Sky. Did he dream the whole thing? No, no that’s ridiculous he couldn’t have.

“Sky? Are you ok?”

“Wh—where’s Twi?” He croaked, his voice sounding like it hadn’t been used in weeks.

Warriors looked to his side, and Sky noticed Twi curled up and asleep. Relief swept through Sky and he laid back down. So it definitely wasn’t a dream.

“I was worried when Twi came up with you unconscious. Luckily you turned out fine.”

Sky gave a small smile.

“Twi was worried too. He would’ve stayed up with me but… well he’s hurt pretty badly, he needed the rest.”

Sky’s smile melted into a frown.

“How badly?” He asked.

“I think he may have a cracked rib, and his arms are badly bruised,” Warriors explained.

From the tentacles I presume, Sky thought to himself. “Is he ok?”

“Much better than you. How are you feeling?”

“Bleh,” was all Sky was able to say, and Warriors chuckled. “The stupid puppeteer faked the zora kidnapping story.”

“So I’ve heard. He’s done nothing but cause trouble for us, he almost killed you and Twi. But you’re awake now, so we should be fine.

The hero of skies stared ahead. He was awake now, but he learned from experience that almost drowning can do a lot to you. When he had to find the tadpoles for Faron’s challenge to prove that he was the hero, he ended up drowning. If not for Groose who launched himself to the flooded woods, he would’ve probably been dead. And if not for his knowledge of pneumonia, he would’ve died a lot later. Sky groaned. Having to lay in bed while dealing with pneumonia was awful, he didn’t want to experience that again. But unfortunately, the feeling in his lungs and body said otherwise.

“Wait, Warriors,” Sky called out, almost coughing right then and there. Warriors looked at him earnestly. “Do you… do you know anything about pneumonia?”

Warriors frowned, but realization hit his face. “Oh, yes I do, are you ok?”

“I don’t know but, I might have that….”

Warriors rested his hand on Sky’s shoulder. “It’s ok, you boys did the hard work, now let me take care of you.”

Sky smiled and put his hand on top of Warriors with a nod.

“Thanks commander,” he said, before drifting off again.