#don't except too much though

[ruporas]

lonely

[ID: A limited palette of green and pink, Vashwood comic. The first page serves as a prologue. The first panel shows Vash speaking to someone off screen while Wolfwood is lingering behind him. A black arrow is drawn pointing at him. In the second panel, Vash is buying donuts in the distance while Wolfwood is once again in view, lingering. and the black arrow is drawn pointing at him. In the third panel, Vash is leaving a cubicle and turning towards his right with a slightly peeved expression. He sees Wolfwood, leaning against the cubicle, waiting for him, and with the black arrow drawn, pointing at him, implicating the consistent hovering of Wolfwood’s presence during Vash’s everyday. At the bottom of the page, they’re drawn out of panel with Vash turning to Wolfwood and saying with an irritated expression, “You’re really following me everywhere, huh?” Wolfwood responds, “What, you got a problem?” Vash responds without hesitation, “Yeah, kinda...”

The second page starts with a new day. In the first panel, Vash is seen alone, weighing apples in his hands at a mart, with crowds passing behind him. In the second panel, he turns to his right and starts to say, “Hey, Wolfwood...” In the third panel, he’s startled from seeing a stranger, whom he’d accidentally called out to when he was expecting to see Wolfwood. He says, “Oh, you’re not him. Sorry!” In the fourth panel, the stranger walks off and Vash muses, “Right, he said he had something to do today...”

The third page begins with a close up of Vash's miffed expression, the continuation of Vash's thoughts, "Now that he's not here, this is just like how I used to be, but... It feels lonely somehow. Oh well, I'll see him again tonight, like always." In the second panel, it shows Vash walking through the marketplace crowd, alone. In the third panel, the door panel is a close up of the door opening with a peek of Vash's head. He says, "Wolfwood!" In the fourth panel, Vash is holding a bag of food with a bright smile and says, "Are you hungry? I got you something to eat today!"

The fourth page begins with a shot of the room, two beds being highlighted, one of them being made properly with the blanket draped over the bed and the other with the blanket folded and pillow sitting on top of it. There's no sign of Wolfwood. The second panel shows Vash with a disappointed look as he thinks, "He's still not here?" The third panel shows Vash putting the bag of food on the table. Stapled to the paper bag is the receipt with a written note "For Wolfwood." Vash's thoughts continue "He does like to stay out so, I guess there's no reason to worry..." The fourth panel shows Vash sitting his bed somberly with his thoughts continued, "It's not any of my business anyway..."

The fifth page starts with a close up his blank expression as he looks downwards, thinking, "Even if he left completely... That'd be understandable and better for him. I'll just travel alone again... like before... Huh?" The next panel shows Vash's composure break, tears welling up in his eyes suddenly, as he didn't expect to cry. He starts to sob, putting his hands to his face to quiet himself and wipe at his tears, as he says, "Ugh... Dammit... I miss h..." The last panel shows Vash leaning over into his hands, still crying, and in the back, the door swings wide open with a bam as Wolfwood walks through with the punisher swung behind him. He shouts, "SPIKEY! You in here?!"

The sixth page starts with Wolfwood confused, looking at Vash and Vash looks back, just as confused, with tears in his eyes and snot out of his nose. Wolfwood starts saying, "Ah? You..." No longer in panels, at the bottom of the page, Wolfwood takes the Punisher off of himself and starts to walk towards Vash, continuing with slight concern, "What's wrong with you? Did something happen?" Vash, hurriedly begins to wipe at his tears, denying immediately, "No! No, I'm fine! Nothing happened!"

The seventh page, Vash points towards the table, with a hand still wiping at his tears and he smiles as he says, "I uh got you food. On the table." Wolfwood looks towards to the table and responds, "Oh. I was getting hungry, thanks." He turns his head back to Vash immediately after with an uncertain expression, knowing the other wasn't responding to his concern, and says, "But, I know you're an idiot with this stuff, so I'm reminding you again. Don't brush it off if it's an issue, alright?"

The eight page, Vash's tears have dried and he looks to Wolfwood with a soft smile and responds, "Yeah. It's okay though..." A panel at the center shows a side view of Vash approaching Wolfwood. At the bottom of the page, with no panel, is a close up shot of Vash's hand, holding onto the edge of Wolfwood's jacket sleeve, as he says, "Because you're here now. Wolfwood."

The final page is a back shot of both of them standing next to each other, Wolfwood's head tilted slightly to the left, not fully believing Vash as he says, "That doesn't answer anything, Spikey." Vash responds, "There's no need to talk about it! You should enjoy your food. Let's have a drink too?" Wolfwood responds, "Tsk, tsk. Fine, yeah. I could use one." END ID]

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #but onto this comic... i think and talk a LOT about vash's loneliness bc trigun is just. kind of central on that for a good while! esp in #the original manga he was alone for a good portion of it and he tends to keep others away like how he ran away from meryl and milly when #they tried to tag along. and he was kind of bothered when he realized ww was following him around Too. at the core even though he loves #humans and he loves deeply the people he does know -- he isnt really much of a people person and i think thats been the case since he was #young considering his initial doubts towards humans... with the exception of kids bc kids dont give him moral conflicts. so suddenly #here comes wolfwood!!! his guide. someone TRULY affixed to him until he has to get to knives. someone who isnt budging and someone whos #really good at following him around and even seems like he goes like 5 steps ahead to make sure vash doesnt run on him #in one way its - i don't want you to follow me bc i don't want to burden you and i don't want you to kill the people i want to save. #in another way its - i like this companionship. i like waking up to you and i like ending the way with you. i like talking to someone who #knows my world. i like being in your space and sometimes i enjoy talking about our day #theyre just living together. like. roadtrip buddies or theyre also under the same roof because they're going everywhere together. #trimax they mainly spend their mornings together and if they had personal business attend the other person would usually know and itd only #be during the midday. anyway bc of this kind of companionship i figure that vash eventually grew accustom to it and he really. cant go back #to the kind of loneliness from before. it's harder to imagine and it'd be harder to withstand. esp after 2 years with lina and her grandma. #ruporas art

[drulalovescas]

Listen. I'm not exactly optimistic about the canon reciprocation in the revival. Like NOT. AT. ALL. OPTIMISTIC. The CW show Supernatural burnt me wayyyy too many times. However.

Imagine that Jensen Ross Ackles actually brings the show back. even though the story seems to be finished???? Because they're all kinda permanently dead this time???? So. Storywise there is no point in bringing it back. The story is done. Unless…you wanna fix things??? So.

Imagine that Jensen Ross Ackles brings it back. After all the bad press the show got for burying their gays. for not letting Dean respond. With there currently being so many different, actually good shows that are doing the queer rep right. And getting tons of attention and praise for it. So again.

Imagine that Jensen Ross Ackles actually brings Supernatural back ... only to make Dean Winchester tell Cas "sorry buddie, I don't love you THAT way." Just to make Dean Winchester NOT reciprocate. Or. Just to NOT address the confession AT ALL. Lmao.

Like…

Who would do that in this economy???! And why????!!

So. what I’m trying to say is, if Jensen Ross Ackles didn’t wanna „go there,” didn’t wanna „open the Pandora Box” wouldn’t it be logical and most importantly wiser to just be like Elsa and let it go????

Obviously. who am I to assume that Jensen Ross Ackles actually wants to do the logical, wiser and more profitable thing. He might just wanna be Dean Fucking Winchester one more time, consequences be damned. which is fair. i get it.

It’s just… it would be REALLY TRULLY [redacted] [deleted] [omitted] to bring the show back in order to bury your gays even deeper and anger and/or alienate your HUGE queer fanbase even more. the fanbase that you still heavily profit off via conventions etc etc.

It would be REALLY TRULLY [redacted] [deleted] [omitted] to bring the show back and not let Dean Winchester kiss the angel of the Lord Castiel stupid.

#i feel like I'm putting way too much thought into the revival that may actually never happen #lmao #it's just that i actually think it will happen #and even though I trust NO ONE (well maybe except Misha) to do right by us in regards to Destiel #I also reallllllyyyy don't see how they can bring the show back #and fuck things up even more #even though I know they can #and probably will #supernatural #destiel #jensen ackles #dean winchester #castiel #spn #revival that may be

[sandradoodles]

Part ten is here! Look, it’s completely non-suspicious cat pun flirting...

First | Prev | Next

#miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain-cheng #chat noir #marichat #confessions comic #sandra draws #so much easier to draw when I don't have to do any establishing panels #I can go back to my comfort zone #which is just marinette making silly faces one after another #chat can get in on the silly faces too #though the temptation to always at least try to make him pretty is strong #sorry chat noir no one is allowed to be 100% pretty in my comic #except alya probably

[cerise-on-top]

Nikolai with a s/o who always has a hand on his chest? With consent ofc, and it’s always to feel his heartbeat. I think of this all the time and it’s always super cute in my head.

Hello! That is pretty cute!

Nikolai Always with Reader’s Hand on His Chest

Nikolai is a pretty laid back and chill sort of man, so he usually doesn’t mind you putting your hand over his heart. Maybe not while you’re walking, though, he doesn’t want you to trip. It’s very sweet to him: You wanna make sure that he’s alive? That he’s still with you? That his heart is still beating? Trust me, not even death could take him away from you. He’d dig his way out of his grave after killing the reaper with his bare hands himself. You can always put your hand over his chest while you’re at home together, though. It’s nice to feel you. After a while it would be reassuring to him as well, feeling that you’re there, that you’re with him. He thinks it’s sweet that you always want to be touching him, because if it was up to you he’d do the same thing with you. After some time, once he’s realized that you’re always touching him whenever you can, he tries to get into positions that facilitate you touching him a bit. Usually lies on his back when you’re cuddling so you have full access to him. Can and will fall asleep like that, but will also want to hold you back. Will also put his hand over your heart as well so he can “get back at you”. In reality, feeling your heartbeat is also just nice and reassuring to him. However, he sometimes might lie on your chest in order to hear it as well, something like it lulls him to sleep, after all. You can put your hand over his chest in public as well, though, he doesn’t particularly mind cuddling in public either. There’s a good chance you’ll be nicely clothed, though, so you won’t feel his heartbeat unless you slip your hand under his clothes. You can do that, he doesn’t care about strangers staring in public. However, once it’s time to continue walking around, release him. You can continue your antics once you’ve found another nice bench to sit on.

#cod #cod x reader #cod nikolai #cod nikolai x reader #tomorrow is finally friday for me right now. I am so tired. but tomorrow I'm gonna take a long long nap #I have the next two weeks off but I can't promise that I'll be able to post too much during that time for driver's license reasons #I'll try but I have a lot of errands to run then #besides it's not like I get too many requests in per day luckily. at one point I got 4 requests in one night #now I get one. maybe two at most per day. which is good. it's relaxing and doesn't stress me out too much either #at one point I had eight requests sitting in my inbox despite working on them ever day. that was really stressful #but these days I'm more willing to close my inbox. people usually don't mind the waiting too much anyway #I do work as fast as I can though but I'm gonna stick with posting one request per day. that's a much better pace for me #haven't written for Nikolai in a while though. I'm glad people still like me writing characters other than the girls as well #but it seems as though for now I've become a cod girls centric blog haha #I don't mind. I'm just glad that people like my writing enough to want to request it. I'll write for just about anyone of the main charas #two exceptions apply but I refuse to write for them. i just genuinely don't like them #but I like Nikolai. he's good he's nice. he seems like someone who'd be great at giving bear hugs

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

This week on "CJ needs to gush about DAO": Morrigan's dark ritual.

I adore Origins because depending on how serious you take roleplay, every decision you make is a thread that leads back to your origin, and in this case of the ritual, who you choose to romance can have a major impact on how you handle this choice.

For context, my canon run is with a female Tabris who romances Alistair and keeps him as a Grey Warden, and is close friends with Morrigan. It's more in character for my Tabris to reject Morrigan's ritual and not even bring it up to Alistair, which would result in her leaving him behind while she makes the ultimate sacrifice in killing the archdemon... however, agreeing to convince Alistair to do the ritual with Morrigan is the only choice in the entire game where I break roleplay because I'm selfish and weak and I want Tabris to live.

I have a lot of strong feelings about the ritual, like it hurts me. It makes me want to chew on furniture. I can talk about it until I can talk no more. I so badly want to be strong enough to remain in character and reject the ritual.

Let me explain: Tabris survives an origin that deals with sexual assault. She gets kidnapped on her wedding day, she watches the other kidnapped women and her husband get murdered, and then is too late to save Shianni from being assaulted... and Tabris carries that trauma with her throughout the entire game.

If the way to save her life is to ask the two most important people she cares about; one being her lover and the other being her best friend; who she knows hate each other, to have dubiously consensual sex in order to make a baby to absorb the old god soul... she's saying no. The last thing Tabris would ever do is put someone into a sexual situation where consent is at all dubious after what she saw happen to Shianni and nearly happened to herself. She'd rather die than force that upon Alistair and Morrigan.

That's what I mean when I say origin affects everything; I know some will side eye that with "Really? Your warden would rather die than let Alistair sleep with another woman? It's one time, and Alistair agrees to it, so no one needs to die?"

Let me be clear in saying this isn't a "Morrigan slept with my man" issue. Sure, that part's awkward and it sucks, but that's not even breaking water tension, let alone diving into the deep waters to the core of the issue.

For my Tabris, this is about betrayal, consent, and accepting fate.

The person offering Tabris this deal is someone she thought of as a trusted friend who has actually been lying to her the entire time. It doesn't matter what Morrigan's intentions are now or if she genuinely wants to save the wardens. She knew from the beginning why Flemeth sent her with them, she admits as much. She knew a warden would need to make the ultimate sacrifice and then leveraged that to get what she wants. Morrigan waited until the night before, when Alistair and the warden learn one of them has to die to defeat the archdemon, and took advantage of the high running emotions and possibly the fear of dying to make the warden agree to her ritual.

At least, that's how my Tabris interprets this confrontation. She feels betrayed by someone she came to love like a sister and went out of her way to help Morrigan with her mother upon learning what's in Flemeth's grimoire. And then that someone tells her no one needs to die, she just needs to convince Alistair to sleep with her... which is a huge fucking problem.

The Alistair and Tabris romance is slow; it took a long time for either of them to be comfortable with being emotionally vulnerable and trusting each other with basic intimacy, let alone sex. Tabris is mortified at the idea of putting Alistair in this situation. Not only would it feel like a betrayal on her part to ask that of him, but she knows the last thing Alistair ever wants to do is father a bastard who then goes on to grow up without him. How could she possibly ask him to do that?

Then you consider that ritual or no, there isn't a guarantee that they'll survive anyway. Say they do the ritual and Tabris dies anyway; she made Alistair sleep with Morrigan in order to save her and then she died anyway. Or if Alistair dies then Tabris gets to live with the fact that the last person Alistair was with was a woman he hates because she asked that of him… and either way, Morrigan gets to walk away with what she wanted.

Tabris led the group, and she's accepted that if Riordan dies [which he does] then she'll be the one to make the sacrifice, even if it means breaking both hers and Alistair's heart.... except she doesn't because I'm a coward who doesn't want to lose her because my worldstate isn't good without her in it but I also refuse to lose Alistair so I just pretend it plays out differently in my head it's fine-

But... that's how I play Tabris and view the situation. My friend @pi-creates and I have discussed the dark ritual at length. While I play a Tabris who romances Alistair, Pi plays a Mahariel who romances Morrigan, so we have vastly different interpretations of the ritual itself and Morrigan's intentions.

Which yeah, it makes total sense that someone who romanced Morrigan with a different origin, and has the option to do the ritual with her rather than asking someone else to do it, wouldn't see this the way I do.

To quote Pi: "Playing as a male warden in the Morrigan romance makes the whole situation feel different, and maybe it’s because she’s presenting it differently due to the emotional connection, but it feels more like she’s opening up about her initial instructions (that she had been given by Flemeth) and offering a solution to avoid the possibility of death. And for my Mahariel, the constant threat of sudden death has haunted him from the start – he caught the blight and was ripped away from his clan (something he did not want to do in the slightest), got forced into a Grey Warden ritual that could kill him, was forced into a battle that could kill him, going on this whole quest that he never wanted but has now become responsible for regardless of his thoughts on the matter… the dark ritual may be one of the few moments where he is presented with an option to decide if he wants to walk into certain death, or take actions of his own volition to stop it.

"The idea of the ritual still feels like a dodgy thing to do since the ultimate outcome is unknown at that point, he’s taking Morrigan at her word that it will save the warden and that this child would be unharmed, just with an old god soul that she isn’t exactly clear on why she wants that and is determined to runaway immediately after the battle to secure it properly. It could be interpreted that it’s purely a preservation thing, but I’m biased to wanting Morrigan's intentions to not be power based.

"But also, taking part in the ritual isn’t as outlandish for my warden since he and Morrigan have already been involved in an intimate relationship. It’s the future of the ritual that is scarier – the idea of this old-god baby, and the idea of Morrigan insisting that she’s leaving afterwards when Mahariel and her have a loving relationship. He’s hurting, but he doesn’t want to die, he doesn’t want Alistair to die, he doesn’t want Morrigan to leave, he definitely doesn’t want pregnant Morrigan to leave on her own… it’s complicated, but for completely different reasons."

And I find that fascinating. I want to know how other players approach this part of DAO, what origins they play, and who they romanced. Seriously, this is an invitation to anyone reading to share their thoughts.

What about a warden who doesn't even have Alistair in their party because they made Loghain a warden? Is there anyone out there who has Loghain do the ritual with Morrigan and why? What about male wardens who don't romance her? Do you choose to do it with her anyway, or do you ask Alistair or Loghain to do it? Do you tell Morrigan to fuck off with the ritual? Why? Who makes the ultimate sacrifice in that case? And what about Morrigan herself? How do you interpret her intentions/motivations? I want to know.

I'm telling you, this is a discussion that gets me excited, as most discussions about DAO do.

#dao #dragon age origins #alistair theirin #dao alistair #dao morrigan #da morrigan #tw: sa mention #long post #i love origins so much #every time i replay i end up on discord having this discussion with pi because it makes me *emotional* #and yes this is why i was looking up alistair's dialogue about a dead warden before #also want to clear up that while i am harsh on morrigan based on how my tabris feels i don't hate her or anything i love her #morrigan's one of my favorite characters and that's why the whole thing hurts like... tabris was happy for her to come along with them #since she still didn't know alistair well and felt more comfortable with another woman around even though she never felt threatened by him #and for them both to be her closest companions like.... it's a lot to take in #and its not like tabris is totally in the right here- she doesn't tell alistair it's an option when it could be argued that she should've #but like i said i've never actually turned down the ritual because i love my warden too much... i just close my eyes #and pretend there's an alternate solution where Alistair and Tabris do the ritual and they have the old god baby instead sksksks #that way no one has to sleep with someone they hate and alistair gets to be there to raise his child. it's fine everything's fine sksksk #i don't care if it doesn't work that way okay it's the only way this works out better for everyone... except maybe morrigan but still

[ocean-cloud]

Aziraphale: an idealist, a problem solver, a denier and a protector

A meta analysis on his growth, his choices and his actions of season 2 (with a little bit of season 1 context and possible future)

so basically I'm back on my bullshit and need to consolidate my ever growing thought on these character.

Aziraphale's core traits are highly oppositional to Crowley, this could either cause great miscommunication or provide a well needed balance to the two of them. At his core he's an idealist, he assumed the best in everyone and everything, when issues arise he tries to make the best of it and solve the problem in his own way and protect everyone (regardless of the outcome the key take away is that he tries) but this no longer applies when he's afraid. Another key trait, Aziraphale throughout his life is always plagued by the fear of losing Crowley and losing his 'angel ness' and when the root of the problem comes from one of his fears, then his final trait comes around: pure denial.

The first time they met:

The first time Aziraphale meets Crowley we see a couple things, he's already absolutely smitten, he already fears questioning the plans of god and warns Crowley because he wants to protect him, and finally he sees Crowley be unequivocally happy when he gets to build the nebula.

And then.. the angels fall, millions of angels fall, including Crowley, now demons, 'unforgivable, evil, cruel' and barred from the love of god. And oh Aziraphale must feel awful, he thinks about how he planted the seeds of doubt into Crowley, if he hadn't said anything, Crowley would never have fallen, he should have stopped him. (this likely fuels another reason why he wants to restore Crowley to angel status, he blames himself for Crowley's sadness)

When he finally meets him again in the garden of Eden, and this as now is the first time he does something 'out of line' and disobeys god. And he's already afraid, oh he's gone to far, he question Almighty's plan, what is going to happen. He carries that with him, doesn't question the flood, just continues, because he is afraid. He learns one thing: god is unpredictable, he is not safe. So what does he do? he goes into denial, he pretend that god has a plan, and it is actually good, he becomes idealistic, even in such a moment, he uses it to protect himself.

2500 BC:

This flashback gives us an interesting insight into why Aziraphale chooses to make the choices he does. After years of being afraid of not question he develops a 1 dimensional viewpoint. But when he learns of the plan he can't hold back anymore, he knows this is wrong, but its heaven, heaven is good right? This time he has to question heaven and thankfully, his demon Crowley is there to protect it all, to solve the problem for him, so he is still free (as he can) but the question still lingers, and then.. then he finally tried food. Which makes him scares him even more, he wonders if he's sinned too much (questioning, sinned for eating food etc) and finally it all comes crashing down:

"I'm ready to go."

"Go where?"

"To Hell."

His fears reaching a boiling point and then he lies, and demons lie. But he goes forward, afraid but still an angel. He doesn't realize he's in this constant peril not because he deserves to fall, but because heaven and god's rules are arbitrary, contradictory and often use the most miniscule things to hurt.

1827:

His fears over the centuries of falling, losing Crowley, and openly loving him have now manifested as this idealism to life, that if humans make the perfect choices they would be okay, he carries one dimensional thinking because otherwise, he would have to face the fact god is unfair, god is ruthless.

We get quite a lot of insight into both of their philosophies in this episode. For one, Aziraphale realizes that 'bad' deeds aren't necessarily bad when you look at it from a different perspective. And that as of now he believes in that the more your suffer/lower you start in the hierarchy of life the more 'opportunities' you have to prove yourself, but at the same time he believes in 'divine punishment'

In the context of season 2 this makes sense, he has been taught that at any moment, for any miniscule reason, god can punish them (Job, Crowley, Elspeth etc) and the way he can deal with the unpredictability of god is he chooses to be one dimensional, an action is always either black and white, stealing that body is a bad choice and to validate this opinion he uses the idea that its more 'opportunities' but Crowley attacks that thought, he shows him, do you really think that's true? and of course he values Crowley's opinion and considers it, and it breaks him a little, so he goes back and finally reconsiders his initial thought, he concludes that its actually just a plain good deed, no nuance, no greyness just good.

Even though he reconsiders he doesn't reach the root of the problem, for all his problem solving skills, he is still in denial and he still believes that heaven is good, he is still after all that an idealist, he does not want to realize that god is not always right, god sometimes hurts and attacks the weak, that its unfair, that heaven might just not be good. he at this point is well and truly in denial.

Even after Armageddon, he still views heaven as 'good, the light, the truth' after all they went through, after he watched them try and tear apart humanity he still thinks heaven is the good side. Yes he questions them more now, and wants to fix them (problem solver) but he cannot shake of the idea that carried him all his life that heaven is good. His idealism makes him believe that he could fix it, he believes that there is good in all and he can bring it out. This results in less change in his relationship with Crowley then what they both desired, his fear of losing everything because he doesn't know what could happen if they finally verbalized their feelings (fear of the unknown)

So when Metatron treats him with kindness (and also a heavy dash of manipulation) and even validates his love for Crowley, he allows himself to dream. Dream of a new era of heaven, one where he no longer has to fear, one where he can be with Crowley, where he gets to see the unbridled joy that Crowley had pre-fall when he build the nebula. But this doesn't take into consideration how Crowley would feel, to go back into a place that was traumatic, it wouldn't make him happy, it would hurt him.

While this could be dismissiveness, it's likely its actually tied to his idealism and need to protect their lives. In his head he believes he could change heaven (its also important to factor in that he at this point does not know that they are trying for Armageddon 2.0) and he believes he can protect Crowley there. So he sees this as a chance to 'solve the problem', finally escape his fear, but instead falls right back into the his denial of heavens issues, that heaven and god is not 'the light, the truth, the good' but just another side fighting for power.

Growth and the way forward

In terms of growth its clear he has in fact changed though he still has far to go, he becomes less afraid of loving Crowley openly, though he still leaves things unsaid. He uses 'our' 'we' 'us' and initiates physical contact often, and attempts to reassure Crowley. His fear always makes him be subtle, his love is quiet and unseen. When he wants to tempt Crowley, its always so very subtle, he's so afraid to make an obvious move, he dances around it, leaving a clear impression, but never anything too obvious. But in season 2, he begins initiating that vulnerability, more often than not, physical contact, to show his reassurance, his feelings and heart. While Crowley grows to show more emotional vulnerability.

But in the end he cannot grow until he sees the true reality of heaven for himself, and realizes he cannot push this idealism onto Crowley, that he is wonderful, kind and humane because he is Crowley, he loves humanity in a way heaven and hell never could, he is kind and good not because he is actually an angel, but because he is Crowley

#good omens #gos2 #aziraphale #crowley #good omens spoilers #gos2 spoilers #good omens 2 #so much to analyze of the few glimpses we get into their 6000+ year analysis #This post will likely only get longer as I rewatch seasons over time and realize there's more to it #though I've attempted to summarize some parts because i don't want to keep it long enough to kill tumblr #anyway i would like to formally say that I'm not on any team except team 'Aziraphale and Crowley get together and go to therapy' #honestly too long and a disservice to call it a shitpost #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #updated for errors

[tricksterlatte]

Anyone else think short form social media based on algorithms designed to promote topics that create more engagement instead of more joy, the idea of fast fashion but conveyed through social media, and the fact you can monetize suffering and outrage better than ever has largely resulted in the death spiral of media literacy and the mass emergence of bad faith readings?

#I may be venting a lil but god it blows my mind #fyp is a blessing and a curse because i don't think ppl were ever meant to be subjected to this many ppl at once #god i took a bird site hiatus for weeks and now BARELY check it and it already feels like a hit #oughhhhh #even fandom spaces have hugely incorporated marketing and networking into them bc of cmms and sponsorship and building portfolio #which would be fine tbh if it weren't for the way socmed is designed #now it's like you can't support too many ppl or else you're shadow banned or you have to make yourself palatable and marketable #and websites with threads in which people will only read the first post before qrting because ratios are seen as five minutes of fame #features that permit beating an algorithm are locked behind a paywall that promises you money if you go viral #and what goes viral is usually incendiary content meant for those ratios or trends. whether for or against OP #even in hobbyist spaces the climate has changed so much due to the monetization and marketing and just. ugh #not to mention side accounts dedicated to gossip in this new priv account culture like...idk #if you have to make another account so you can make fun of a friend on main with selected priv friends it just doesn't sit well with me #and not every priv account does this but enough do and it makes me tired #unsolicited hate comments are still as bad as they used to be on ff dot net except now people openly are proud of it more #why do most socmed feel like passive aggressive sticky notes on high school lockers #there is so much more I could say about everything that has left me weary about the internet but I don't know the time or place #and I don't want anyone to think this is about them because it's a general statement. though if you are doing the more inflammatory things. #maybe rethink that. it's not good for anyone else and it's not good for you either #I keep coming back online to check on ppl and see art and I *know* it's draining for my health every time #but I feel a lot better now that i use socmed less overall. and that I try to focus on what makes me happy #it just sucks seeing so many people i care about endure absolutely wild struggles bc people online do not care. #I like rambling in my tags because this is the only place I ramble except my personal journal and to my wife

[lyril]

i feel like not enough people use writing fanfiction as a way to like... study and learn? outside of it being more practice and things. like sure, this is for entertainment first and foremost, but for me keeping the writing tone and characterization as accurate as i can to then transform it more into a writing style to create something good just ends up in me like, intensely studying the source material. i don't ever go off of memory i fucking break that shit down, study dialogue patterns and write down literally everything the characters i'm writing for say, observe the structure and themes and tone of whatever i'm looking at, watch and analyze things until i'm sick of them and come out a better writer because of that hands-on observation and because i simply fucking hate when other people go off of memory while writing characters i like ❤️

#talk #like what better way to study something you like than to work within it's bounds for the most part? #i can't enjoy something if the vibes are too off... if it doesn't have the same level of cartoonishness... #same reason why a lot of fan characters are uninteresting to me #if i can't make things look straight out of the show i don't see a point #i've become such a stickler for canon EXCEPT for when i think i can do better (often) #sometimes i definitely need to make vibe adjustments but i can't imagine straying too far from things unless i'm being artsy on purpose #definitely a lot of reslly great more transformative stuff don't get me wrong. lots of ways to do that right #cus i think something being really cool can easily outweigh accuracy #just as everyone has their own style #but for the most part i like to color within the lines #it's weird though because i'm always a lot looser when looking at other people's drawings and things #like i love a good shitpost but for some reason writing just isn't made for that to me #i just feel like for a lot of people it's more just playing with dolls than creating art #which is fine! but i'm too much of a perfectionist for it

[zetsubobu]

Adding right to my previous post but little funfact about myself:

The reason I got into art was because there was a certain ninjago artist that I really loved and she had very interesting ocs. Those ocs became like a huge hyperfixation to me (that I still kind of have) and I remember screenshotting so much art of them, making folders, etc. In the end, those ocs inspired me so much that I wanted to create my own (as well as do fanart for them) so that's the reason why I wanted to learn how to draw.

I have always been a huge oc artist supporter which is why I just love learning about other people's ocs because I think that's one of the things where a persons creativity can shine the most.

#it's why I post about my own ocs sometimes because I know that there will be someone interested in them #even if they don't interact (because I certainly didn't #i was too shy) #although I haven't posted too much about them yet except for maybe marvolo #most of my oc lore is hidden on my private instagram account #because I don't want to talk too much here about my ocs and drown out fanart (because that's the reason most of you are following me) #though sometimes I really do feel an urge to just lore drop because I worked very hard on them #the only oc that doesn't have a proper personality and backstory is cece and that's because she's just my persona #she's supposed to represent me #i am always open for questions though #i'm actually working on a proper profile for my characters #some of which are sort of finished but I will only share the link to the website once all of them are #which probably takes a long time due to procrastination school and other works

[elbiotipo]

-Here's Cyberpunk Fantasy Furry Vatican!

-Arknights, this is the third time you've shown Cyberpunk Fantasy Furry Vatican to the class.

#cosas mias #I just don't care that much about it #though I still haven't completed the one with the little girl I was hooked on that plot #still I haven't unlocked the protagonists for that one (except for Executor who is like... a dude I guess?) #so maybe that's why I haven't gotten too excited about it #el biotipo plays Arknights

[oatbugs]

oh my god ! haha . anyway a bit buzzed perhaps. anyway here's what happened on the date

#at some point i took the earrings off. the metal clanging was screaming their name too loud and it #was 6 knives to the throat and he confirmed it so. here's the kicker. you can be taught a lot and you can have their hands on your thighs #and you can kiss them but even if they pray even if they tell you about the bible looking into you like really they lost what they believed #in a pennsylvania countryside catholic schools with a protestant family since joining the london school of economics #even if they pray for you to stay the whole way even though their hair was softer than hers you think of her and he thinks of someone else #and be tells you none of it will make sense. they smile and they say what a shame you might miss the train but they hold onto you #the entirety of you - like a religion or a polite insistence or something to keep. #you learned they were used to losing everyone they felt bound to love. they said they got really good at letting go. you were told #you think he's being epistemologically #irresponsible and he tells you he carries a massive task. he tells you the responsibility is monumental #and he feels responsible for defining responsibility. he shows you songs and his poetry. my eyes feel on fire. #she doesnt know this. this is marylebone. the next station is edgeware road. everyone here looks happy and high and clear of the doors. #he says tell me when you get to the station and very especially tell me if you don't. the next station is paddington. please mind the gap #between the train and the platform. you say this to him. he says i minds the gap between you and i. i mind it so much that i need you to #come back. he says this because you kissed him briefly but you kissed him well. she says you're a good kisser but he says you have him #stunned. he asks you who decides the truth. he tells you you decide the truth without his mouth. you're fast enough to make it there before #the wheels do. this world is lit by glass and light and people with a pact to fall in love with the abstractions more than each other. #he tells you to be committed to your various intangible loves more than anyone. you both have to be. they love each other anyway. #i was supposed to find a persian poetry book with her on our fourth date except she was hours late. i found it with him. he didnt give up #he should be perfect and i should really like him.

[coquelicoq]

dammit. loved the end of the traitor baru cormorant. which means i'm gonna read the sequel. save me from myself. AUGH.

#i was so close...so close #i was feeling like this book was too much of a chore to read for reasons that i now know were necessary #and the themes. the themes! i can't resist them #the problem is i don't really care about the characters. that makes it hard to love a book. but the theeeeeeeeemes #this book reminds me a lot of the poppy war series which i read all three books of and then wished i had given up earlier #except the execution is better and idk. more coherent #at least so far #i guess it kind of depends on what happens in the other books lol #i wouldn't be sad if i never had to read another battle scene though. i'm realizing a lot of books that i can't get into #have a lot of battles. battle scenes don't do anything but bore and confuse me #the only books i can think of where i felt like i could actually follow the battles are the dandelion dynasty series #wow ken liu again you blow me away with the mastery of your craft... #books

[photon-crest-art]

I don't have a witty caption for this tbh. Get Zooble'd or something I guess.

#the amazing digital circus #TADC #Zooble #Eyestrain CW #Bright colors #2024 art #God it feels weird to not type 2023 art anymore #ANYWAYS lore time for this! #Basically I lost my drawing tablet pen and nobody was able to locate it #So I was basically rendered unable to work on pretty much all of my WIPs since I can't draw steady lines without a tablet to save my life #Obviously I didn't wanna let that stop me from drawing altogether so I decided to challenge myself and draw something in MS Paint #Everything here EXCEPT for the signature was done in MS Paint #God bless those line tools I don't think I would've made it without them #Additional fun fact: I have 4 separate files relating to this piece on me #I drew Zooble and the background on separate files and then copypasted Zooble into the background file once I was finished with both #The third file is basically the final piece but without the signature since I added that in using CSP #And then the 4th is an earlier background that I scrapped because I thought it looked like ass #My original idea was this patchwork collage of different mismatched squares with different patterns #Though in retrospect that may have made the drawing look too cluttered anyways #Probably for the best I didn't go with that idea #Ok enough rambling for today time to go hibernate until I finish something else

[everlastiingiimmortals]

He never thought of himself as anything special.

Anyone could look at the silver-haired, golden-eyed general and see just how divine he is. The way he carries himself, the way he speaks, the way he thinks -- his smile, his beauty, his skill, his strength, his spirit; all these things truly make him seem like the epitome of the divine. To the people of the Xianzhou, who live in perpetual warfare, is it so hard to see why General Jing Yuan is held in such esteem, almost god-like even, when his wisdom has carried him and the Luofu forward for centuries while his peers fell in but a fraction of his reign? What a surprise it would be for them to know that he never saw himself as anything unique at all -- still doesn't, in fact. But when your parents, brilliant in their own right, are diligent scholars while you'd rather climb trees or hide a book on warfare between the pages of your reading assignments or roughhouse with a makeshift sword rather than do your studies, how is your own brilliance defined? ...The answer is it isn't.

Of course, Jing Yuan never found anything wrong with that, it simply was as it was. He was just an ordinary boy with two ordinary parents who had ordinary jobs in the Realm-Keeping Commission -- all very important work, of course, but... ordinary. And horribly, horribly boring. What he wanted to do was explore. Travel the worlds and see what the universe had to offer. Maybe save a person or two. Jing Yuan will fully admit now that his desires were an escape from the shackles of responsibility, and thus became his path to becoming a Cloud Knight. He never pursued that path for honor or glory. And so Jing Yuan, an ordinary boy, joined the Cloud Knights -- was lucky enough to attract the attention of the Swordmaster of the Luofu, lucky enough to find that he did actually quite enjoy fighting; and, eventually, became very good at it, too. And how lucky was he to be invited by his master to join her ranks? How lucky was he to meet such incredible, talented people, to be able to soar fearlessly through the air on a starskiff driven so swiftly it seemed weightless? How lucky was he to grow close to the High Elder of the Vidyadhara himself and the most brilliant blacksmith he'd ever know, both awe-strikingly clever and beautiful? How lucky was he? And Jing Yuan, this ordinary young man barely past the dawn of youth, who would laugh and insist that he's good at nothing but fighting and hardly even that, this boy who did not dream of greatness, did not see how the sunlight caught his hair and turned it to white fire. He did not see the lightning in his eyes. He did not see the awe-struck eyes trained on him until he was the only one left. He did not choose divinity. He did not wish for it. But divinity chose him, and the proof of it is in his survival where all others have fallen.

#//about; (DIVINE FORESIGHT) #//the dozing general; (JING YUAN) #((i was going insane over this last night and i just had to write it down)) #((this is not to say that Jing Yuan is self deprecative! bc he's not. he's just a guy in his eyes - or WAS)) #((i need to enphasize how much Jing Yuan never desired his position)) #((and the only reason he's in it now is because he lost the High Cloud Quintet)) #((i need to write about that too but i don't want this to become incoherent or too lengthy)) #((even now though he like takes no pride in his position or status. he's just a guy with a 'temporary title')) #((is he a genius? yes. does he acknowledge this? ...hard to tell. does he flaunt it? absolutely not.)) #((it's nothing to brag about in his eyes bc HE'S JUST A GUY!! HE JUST WANTS TO BE A NORMAL GUY)) #((he just wants to explore and have fun but his love for and duty to the Luofu binds him where he is)) #((there's nothing else to it to him except for his sheer dedication to his people)) #((and i ouhgughguhgflkhjfkfjhg <- not normal))

[cerise-on-top]

do you have any rudy hcs lying around? asking for a friend 👀

Hey, there! Yeah, I was able to come up with some!

Rodolfo HCs

He actually prefers men over women. He will still date women, he has had crushes on them, after all, but he more often than not dreams about being with another man. This has caused him some distress in the past. Considering he realized he liked men very early on, he thought he was gay back then. However, later on he developed a crush on a girl and so he thought he was straight after all. The realization that he might be straight broke his heart because he really wanted to be into men back then. Yes, he was unaware that you can like more than one gender, so he felt bad when he had that crush on that girl. It took him another few years until he realized he could be bisexual. He met another guy who was quite the flirt, having flirted with men and women alike. Rodolfo didn’t mind that, but did question that guy about it. Once he had the answer of simple bisexuality, it clicked and he felt absolutely stupid for not having realized it sooner. To this day he’s friends with that person and sometimes still meets up with him.

Although he’s severely touch starved, he’d rather die than admit to that. No amount of touch could ever satisfy him. Besides, he believes that, just because he’s a man, he shouldn’t really be held in a comforting way, especially not by a woman. He’s a strong, protective guy, he has to be the one doing the protecting, and that includes doing the holding during cuddling as well. Sometimes he might be a bit grumpy because he just really wants to be held, especially when his stress levels are at an all time high. However, he can’t really swallow his pride and outright ask for it either, his partner would have to be the one to come up to him and make the suggestion. Fairly early on, he might refuse such advances from a female partner, but once he knows she won’t think any less of him for that, he’s more willing. If his partner is a man, however, then he’d be honored. Rodolfo genuinely believes that every man out there believes the same thing that he does in that regard, so he can appreciate a guy “willing to swallow his pride”. He doesn’t outright ask for cuddles, he will only hint at the fact he wants some with him. He could literally have a sleepless night, with being held being the only remedy out there, and he’d still not ask for any.

He’s not at all an outgoing person anymore. He used to be when he was a child, making friends left and right with just about any kid he ever found, but he outgrew that phase. No one knows why, not even he does, but he sometimes does miss being a people person, it would make some things a lot easier. However, he does have Alejandro in his life, who is an outgoing person that knows lots and lots of people. Whenever Rodolfo needs anything he doesn’t need to look for too long, Alejandro is usually right there. The two go way back with each other, having known one another for almost 20 years now. Whenever Rodolfo needs anything, Alejandro is the first person to know since he knows he can count on him. Although he usually asks Alejandro for someone who might be doing this specific thing or knows how to do it well, it’s usually Alejandro who helps Rodolfo regardless. Those two have grown very close with each other and can tell what the other needs without them even saying anything. Rodolfo does truly appreciate Alejandro for that, he’s never had a better friend than him. When Rodolfo moved, all Alejandro asked for was some beer and watching some movies together. Rodolfo would literally and figuratively die for Alejandro, but the latter usually tells him there’s no need for that. He’d much rather have Rodolfo take a break.

#cod #rodolfo parra #apparently this was exactly 666 words long #poor Rodolfo that was unintentional. I love him though #I hope these are alright. You didn't specify what kind they should be so I just went with whatever came to mind #y'all don't know how hard it sometimes is to come up with miscellaneous HCs for a character #it's a nice break from writing something for this and that kind of reader though #Rodolfo is such a sweetheart though it's hard to not like him #he really grew on me ever since I started writing. I didn't really care too much for him in the beginning #but that's the beauty of writing: It makes you consider characters you otherwise wouldn't really think about #nothing much to report today. except I've been watching cod cold war #I saw a post that compared Adler to America from Hetalia and it was so funny to me #so naturally I started watching the game because I was intrigued. I need to know who Mr America in CoD is #fascinating fella so far. I would study him like a bug under a microscope #however I feel as though he'd notice and put me in a situation. the way a scientist always puts a rat in a situation #not a very nice man but oh well. I'm curious to see where it's all going

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

Finally forcing myself to do an alternate run of DA2 with a lady warrior just so that I can spend time with Bethany for the first time and my feelings are all over the place.

Whattya mean I give her a portrait of Leandra from before she ran off with Malcolm and her reaction is to say "My whole life, Mother's been so sad and worried. All because of my cursed magic. It's nice to have a reminder of a time when she still knew how to smile."

Like... that's so loaded and heartbreaking, what am I even supposed to say to that??

#da2 #dragon age 2 #bethany hawke #i miss carver so much too bethany talks about him a lot and it's just a constant reminder that he's not here... #and i miss playing as ed but i've come around to my lady hawke aris #except i honestly don't know what to do with bethany because i know she'll hate being a warden but i cannot fathom leaving her behind #for her to be taken to the circle... i know she'll be all 'no it's fine i thought about joining anyway :)' it's not fine IT'S NOT FINE #but the third option is death and that's the worst one gaaahhhh I dunno #carver's so easy because he works so well as a warden... i guess that's the trade off though i got beth's friendship maxed out immediately #meanwhile with carver i have to pull up the little guide i wrote for myself to max out his friendship sksksksks i love him it's worth it #listen the hawke twins are my favorites and i would throw all of my companions into the ocean if it meant their happiness okay