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#don't give up yourself for someone else no matter who the person is
thefieryphoenix · 2 days ago
Prompt 6: "I don't like violence angel, don't make me do things that we BOTH will regret''
🎃 Halloween Special- Fright Nights Event
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It was all because of some stupid dare you were in this mess and the current situation you were in. You were now currently trapped between two werewolves who claimed that they 'loved' you and you were now their mate. Before all this even took place, you were just a regular person like everyone else, wanting to goof off sometimes and chillax and unwind with your friends. However you had no idea that one night of playing Truth or Dare with them could change your life and theirs...
It was late in the night and your tests had just finished. You were looking forward to a much needed winter break from all the stress of studying. You were heading to your friend's house for a sleepover and there were a few other people there too. You all started with watching some cheesy horror films followed by washing it down with all the junk food your friend could haul from the kitchen and played cheesy party games like 7 Minutes in heaven, Spin the bottle and finally Truth or Dare. There were some really crazy and dangerously exciting dares that some people got to do like there was this one dude who had to toilet paper some random house. And yeah, he did it
"Y/N, truth or dare?" your best friend grinned and everyone looked at you expectantly. "Uh... I guess I'll go with Truth?" you shrugged wanting to keep things on the safer side. You seriously didn't want to explain to your parents why you were arrested toilet papering someone's house for no reason in the dead middle of the night. "Boo, you're such a wimp!" someone teased you and it kinda got under your nerves. You always wanted to prove people wrong and so you decided to pick dare. No one could come with a dare till finally your friend smiled wickedly at you and said "Hey, look what I found here! A forest.... you know what that means sweetie~" she said in a singsong voice and you groaned at her. You did not want to spend your night in a forest where god knows what creatures could be in it. You got your dare and your dare was to spend 20 minutes in the forest. You couldn't help but think it was such a stupid idea and you were really regretting coming to that dumb sleepover but... rules were rules. There were some people who accompanied you to the forest so they could see that you couldn't cheat
Now, in that very same forest were two werewolves who were out hunting for their next prey as they heard you coming. "Steve...did you just step on a twig or something?" mumbled Bucky to him and he frowned "What? No... at least... I don't think so...'' and raised his head as he sniffed at the air. His ears perked right up abruptly much to the surprise of his partner Bucky and he spoke "Someone's coming!" and they both scurried to a place to hide as they saw you come by. You kicked the little rocks in front of you as you gritted your teeth and pulled your jacket closer, muttering a few curse words at your friend for coming up with such a stupid dare. You sighed and rubbed your head, as you tried to calm yourself down. 'Relax... it's just 20 minutes. Nothing could possibly go wrong in 20 minutes...' you thought to yourself and giving yourself pep talks mentally, you made yourself comfortable around the same place they were hiding. Both the wolves were watching you with curiosity and intently, wondering what a beautiful and pretty thing like you was doing all alone. They were about to reveal themselves to you but Steve accidentally stepped on some dry leaves and you heard the noise and bolted. You just ran the heck out of there, it didn't matter if it was a bunny, a snake whatever it could be. Whenever you hear leaves rustling, it's a sign to get the hell out from there and besides, your 20 minutes were up anyways
Bucky and Steve were so miserable and disappointed when you ran off, and Bucky glared at his partner. "Great going, you scared them off. Now what?" he sighed down. "She'll be back don't worry'' assured Steve and Bucky replied "How can you be so sure?" "I just have a feeling that's all. Else we'll find them on our own'' smirked Steve. His prediction did come true after all since after that day, you actually liked spending time in the forest. It was serene, calming and peaceful. You came by the next day in the morning with a book and took shade under a tree as you started reading
Bucky and Steve could identify your scent by now, you smelled like lavender to them and when they could sense that you were there, they agreed that it was now the time to take you. Werewolves are quite possessive creatures. As soon as they laid their eyes on you, they decided that you were going to be their mate. And now they were going to make it to reality. They could change into their human forms as well. Steve appeared in front of you and held you whereas Bucky conked you on the head with something and the last thing you heard was "Sorry doll, it's for your own good~" and kissed the nape of your neck ever so softly
That was how you found yourself locked in some cabin in the woods with two werewolves who could turn into humans. You figured out after escaping from them almost repeatedly, you couldn't really get the chance to do so properly till you actually gained their trust. You decided to work on that first, ignoring your fear of how long you'd been here for. You were on your best behavior for quite a while now and Bucky was immensely happy but Steve was suspicious. Bucky told him he was just being paranoid and he was worried about nothing but they caught you trying to escape yet again, this time when they both went out to get some food for themselves and their precious little human mate. They went to a freaking grocery store if you're curious about that
Steve was furious and Bucky was disappointed. You yelled at them "LET ME GO! I DON'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU ANYMORE!'' and you started squirming and struggling in Steve's iron grip for all you were worth. He set you down on the bed and proceeded to tie you up with some rope he'd found and you looked miserable. You started screaming your head off, hurling insults and curses at them and when you finally called Steve a monster, he was mad. He stomped over to you and gripped your chin harshly and growled "I don't like violence angel, don't make me do things that we BOTH will regret''
You immediately stopped and Bucky tried to pry off his friend from you. Bucky gently placed his hand on your knee and explained that they were doing this for your safety. The day you entered the forest, it was a good thing that they were there around looking out for you else you could have been injured or killed. And as for your friends, they were now dead because of the danger those fools but you in by daring you to go into a forest. They only want what's best for you. That's what everyone says, but in the end... they're all selfish no matter what, even your so called 'mates' or 'lovers'....
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junospy · a day ago
Any two beings can and will be shipped based on the loosest of connections, even if the shipper has to make one up. Rick x Morty isn't even the weirdest one I've heard of.
Right, Rick and Morty is a fairly common ship. You can't have two main protagonists who are constantly together, and expect people to not ship them.
Shipping in general is like... People act like it's such a huge deal when in reality, it's just for fun. Damn near every shipper or proshipper knows that their ship will never be canon and guess what? They don't care. It's just fun to imagine different scenarios with fictional characters.
And all the excuses like "they're related!" "They're just friends" "they're canonly best friends!" "There's a huge age gap!" "They've never even met!"
Like dude.. these people can't be more than 13 years old. Shipping back in the day was so fun and random and no one gave a crap what you shipped. You told someone you shipped Dipper and Mabel? The most they'd do is laugh and go "what the hell xD" and that's it. They wouldn't call you a pedo, or say that you support incest- no! Because they weren't fucking stupid!
And the "they've never met" argument is also so stupid, because when I was younger, some of the most popular ships were fuckin Dipper and Norman (from Paranorman, a MOVIE), Dipper and Wirt, Rainbow Dash and Sonic, all of the Creepypasta mfers - and NOBODY complained about anything.
But now all of sudden people are trying to shove in morals to whatever you enjoy in fiction. But as soon as you say "so that must mean you think video games cause violence" or "that must mean you think people who like horror movies wanna kill irl people" they go "it's not the same!!!!" How is a drawing of two fictional characters kissing or fucking any less different from a REAL LIFE actor pretending to have their guts ripped from their body in a horror movie. They're not different. They're in the same category: FAKE. NOT REAL. FICTIONAL. NON EXISTENT.
I don't give a crap about "but look what Jaws did!" Or "what about the Slenderman incident!"
People now know that sharks hardly kill anybody, and did anybody actually look deeper into the lives of those girls that tried to kill their friend? They really wanna just put all the blame onto SLENDERMAN? What about their parents? What about their personal lives? No healthy person, no matter the age, sees a fictional character that kills people and thinks "ooooo let's do that too! Let's pleas Slenderman with an offering of a real life child!" Those girls obviously had other, more important shit going on, and were not healthy in the slightest.
And other than those two incidents that are such bs.. what else? What other major incidents were there where someone was so badly affected by fiction?
It's like you're all scared of something that has a 0.0003% chance of actually happening. It's like constantly being scared of an earthquake that nobody is sure is going to actually happen. "Oh but it could! We should be prepared for the worst at ALL times, at EVERY waking second!" When in reality, there's such a low chance of it happening that you just make yourself look like a fool that polices people into doing what YOU want, to bend to YOUR rules.
These people are the absolute worst. And what makes them even more evil, is the fact that they believe that they are the good guys. That they're the ones protecting children.
They harass people, they send death threats, they warn others about you as if you're a legitimate threat, they attempt to dox people, they undermine your abuse if you're an actual csa survivor, saying "well cope a different way." Or "No wonder you turned out to be a pedophile." Or "I wish I could find the person that did it so I can thank them."
They're passive aggressive as fuck and add ✨ or 🥰 after sending messages like "please slit your wrists."
They go into graphic detail about how they believe you would hurt an actual child.
They send real life gore and, on rare occasions, actual cp to abuse survivors, regardless if they're a minor or not.
They praise just the thought of a proshipper actually killing themselves, celebrating their death.
They get mad when you don't want to have a discussion with them, but once you do, they reply with "lol ok pedo." And block you.
Truly, the only way to describe these people is simple: evil. They're evil. They don't actually care about anybody. They just care about how their internet buddies perceive them, they care about wether or not they have the moral high ground. They just want to be assholes.
Jeez, my bad, went off a little, but these people just fuel me with such unbridled rage that I can't help it sometimes
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saintzjenx · 5 months ago
spicier astro placements &
their culture 🤎🪴🤎
(part 2)
part 1 of the astro culture vol II here
astro culture vol I — 1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5
🪴 fixed placements culture is randomly asking your friends if they would help you dispose a body and you say it in a dead serious face like-😀??? like uh ok i guess i'll drive nancy pick up the recycling bags💀 loyalty >
🪴 double earth sun and moon culture is being soft as fuck but no one shall know what. also will forever be idolized by others tbh
🪴 water venus houses culture is looking at someone dead straight in eyes and told them you love them and expect them to say it back immediately. ma'am you met them a month ago.
🪴 pisces placements culture is cleaning your room and finding your old diaries and as you read it you realize how it was a good idea for you to go to therapy loves💕
🪴 jupiter in the first culture is talking about a traumatic experience like its nothing like "LOL ya so i my mom told me to lie to my dad and i practically helped her cheated on him LMFAO why are u crying its okay it was lowkey funny though i'm okay now hahahhahaha". are u? are u really amanda😄?
🪴 mercury - lilith culture is waiting for the other person to finish going off on you and mentally drafting up a 50 pages long speech thats about how you will royally ruin their lives<3
🪴 aries placements culture is telling that one guy at the party you go to like "bro its your business i don't really care but i think your girl is fucking someone upstairs in the room next to the washroom anyways have a good night"
🪴 libra mars culture is overworking yourself every week and literally look crusty af but still somehow magically go on a reset every friday and just show up to places looking like a flawless mf sex god.
🪴 7th house stellium culture is lowkey being hella aggressive and brutal af to your closed friends watch you publicly humiliated them but highkey can't ever be mean to literally ANYONE else🥲
🪴 leo placements culture is highkey being VERY nostalgic people like you care so much about values and traditions don't lie;)
🪴 mutable culture is NEVER EVER being able to stay on one topic for more than 2 minutes your attention span is shorter than your ex d🥰jk
🪴 gemini mercury culture is crying for one hour and then realized what you just did so you just start to look at yourself in the mirror like oh my god i can actually mf cry?💀💀
🪴 aries moon culture is highkey being indecisive af💀 don't @ me i know you are
🪴 libra mercury culture is being the middle ground ALWAYS when it comes to small irrelevant things but when it comes to your own stuff you know you're a hypocrite like i don't even have to try to change your mind just watch them yelling at their s/o for an hour☺️
🪴 mercury-MC culture is not knowing what is it that u want to do 100% cause for you everything comes so naturally 🙏🏼
🪴 taurus moon culture is actually vibing so well with sagittarius moon??? like surprisingly well tbh y'all make the bestest of friends not gonna lie. one is a closet crackhead while the other is mentally in mars🥳
🪴 taurus rising culture is HATING it when people discuss your relationship like why do you care so much about who i'm fucking? mind your own business dawg🥰
🪴 libra placements culture is not sure which vibes you wanna do today. hm should i do 2000s ratchet baggy boyfriend's hoodie look or barbie dream house? 😀
🪴 gemini placements with libra risings culture is being the most lowkey people alive and you're highkey done with people thinking you're the "stereotypical" geminis💀
🪴 scorpio placements culture is lowkey psychic. like everything they say would lowkey become true its kinda scary
🪴 taurus venus culture is asking your friend "bro should i consider becoming a sugar baby you know how practically you don't have to sleep with them right"
🪴 taurus venus culture is either just fucking with you for the sake of their ego or literally simping so so hard
🪴 aries moon culture is looking at your friend dead in the eyes and says " bro idk if i can ever love anyone more than myself " and proceed to fall madly in love w a crackhead.
🪴 leo venus culture is being fiercely protective of your friends like instead of giving them a hug and a shoulder to cry on you're just going off like TELL ME JESSICA WHO TOUCHED YOU STOP CRYING TELL ME WHO WHO WHO. literally get urself a leo venus rn loves.
🪴 libra rising culture is literally exuding motherly vibessssss💀 is that why y'all are so careful w who you let in?
🪴 capricorn mars culture is telling peope ".... and thats why if i don't succeed professionally, i can never face myself in the mirror again"
🪴 air venus culture is laughing when people told you you're so emotionless like dawg what do you want me to do i drained all of em by investing them in my toxic ex😐
🪴 venus in the 3rd house culture is giving everyone relationships advice but cant get into one urself❤️
🪴 mars in 3rd house culture is rarely getting mad but when you do its bad bad omg someone calls 911 they might just burn down a building ngl
🪴 air mercury culture is literally your partner having to kiss you so you would shut up💀 stop talking for once loves
🪴 jupiter dominant culture is having an angel face and a heart darker than charcoal bro they be calculating af y'all literally push them to the end like they HAD to force themselves to stop trusting people too much. come here ily
🪴 venus in 12th house culture is having a literal imagined wedding with your idol in your dreams 24/7
🪴 aries rising culture is exuding boss bitch energy, exude hella good vibes but if you start to become all mean and weird they'll reciprocate in no time
🪴 lilith in the 5fth house culture is being SO FLIRTY but never let anyone hit fr people just gotta understand boundaries yk🤠😉 you go queens
🪴 lilith in the 3rd culture is charming your pants OFF but literally detach with the matter of seconds.
🪴 scorpio moon culture is generally having one of the worst resting bitch face on earth but the second they smile the whole world lights up:)
🪴 cancer moon culture is slamming the door at s/o face as you leave the room and scream "Go to hell" before dramatically exiting and literally an hour later texting them "hey wyd"
🪴 libra moon culture is lowkey control issues. y'all make people do things for you without them realizing they're complying i-💀
🪴 sagittarius rising culture is asking your local astrologer smth along the line like 😀cut the bs, tell me if i'm gonna be a millionaire pls can you look at my chart
🪴 pisces moon culture is saying no to drug and dying just a lil big inside. change my mind i never met one without slightly addictive tendencies or not highly experimental 🥳
🪴 libra placements culture is literally contemplating on how you dumbed it down so well people let down their guards so fast but they don't know that you saw everything 💀
🪴 10th house placements culture is asking people something along the line of "wdym you have no passion? so you're telling me you just want a normal life? why tho?💀"
🪴 virgo mars culture is being very big on gift gifting:") they know you so sooooo well
🪴 sagittarius venus culture is telling people how you can't fw partners who are too dominant like there has to be a certain level of introversion istg
🪴 sagittarius rising culture is highkey hella ambitiouss. the type of people that others tend to underestimate but you shouldn't think low of jupiter children boo everything be working out without them having to sweat their asses off
🪴 uranus in 4th house culture is literally start to get panicked when things are too easy like wheres the red flag?
🪴 cancer placements culture is having a minor panic attack everytime you get nostalgic about embrassing stuff in the past stop it💀
🪴 11th house placements culture is telling people how you respect everyones opinions but you know at the end of the day you aint changing your mind
🪴 6th house placements culture is being in LA but function in Asia Pacific Time like wtf y'all 💀
🪴 cancer rising culture is looking hella photogenic its like the camera wants to have your babies omg, also very good genes in the family smartasses😌
🪴 capricorn moon culture is overthinking and then becoming cynical af but sometimes you don't even realize you are like you're just "keeping it real." like no sarah. he texted you because he likes you not because he wants something from you 💀
🪴 virgo placements culture is feelings happy af when someone told you that they don't usually open up but with you it's different:)
🪴 capricorn moon culture is *chefs kiss* amazing self-awareness and fluctuating between extreme self hatred or immense ego never in between💀
🪴 mars in 10th house culture is telling someone "respectfully, i think you're wrong can you shut up for a second thank you" and thinks that you're just being straightforward i- HAHAHAHAHAH
🪴 aquarius moon culture is lowkey needing a lot of words of affirmation tho. like tell em if you appreciate them y'all its been hard
🪴 fire venus culture is always needing the "spark" in the relationship. the "magic element". deadass i swear to god if you don't sweep me off my feet with roses and chocolate right now boy, i'm heading out💀
🪴 7th house stellium culture is deep thinking about how you should phrase that one idea into something they can't use against you hmmmm what can it be
🪴 pisces placements culture is telling you friend when they're being rational smth like "bro i'm at a bad place rn can you just hype me up instead of making sense thank you"
🪴 libra placements culture is CRYING a waterfall when you're drunk and still look pretty as fuck like how?? how does that work what in the witchcraft
🪴 venus in the 10th house is being so rational when they shouldn't be??😀 actually are hella forgiving, more than you'd like to think tbh
🪴 leo and aries placements culture is teaching your friends how to let out emotions like "ok so my emotional outlet is just screaming and throwing shits around. first, you pick up the nearest thing around you..." 💀
🪴 venus-mars aspects culture is having the utmost potential to hoe around but you end up falling in love with all of em bye💀💀💀
🪴 mercury placements culture is being so organized deep down but also a hot mess. the type to show up to their driving test but thinks they're gonna be provided a car istg💀
🪴 mercury in the 9th house culture is being original af??? they love educated people too like omg you like to write poems? marry me rn
🪴 mercury-venus culture is falling in love with the hot nerds in their basement coding and investing in stocks instead of partying🥰
🪴 aries/capricorn placements culture is screaming at your s/o "how could you forget that? its like you don't listen how could you forget what my favourite colour is???
🪴 cancer moon culture is POSSESIVE possesive literally textbook possesive but your pride be too big to show it😌
🪴 pisces placements culture is falling for sense of humour.
🪴 leo moon culture is actually so forgiving?? lol if you know what to say they will eventually stop holding grudges and let you out tbh
🪴 libra placements culture is generally being super private abt their relationship at the start tho.. literally only starting to open up once they think its legit fr
🪴 double fire sun and moon cultire is your ride or die. will go to the moon and back for u😋
🪴 earth in the 2H culture is literally putting so much effort into securing the bag omg financial stability >
🪴 earth moons culture is lowkey wanting to settle down eventually and have a family tho🥺
Ahhh this one i wrote in 2 whole days and it was so fun writing this BAHAHAHA, i hope you guys like this babies<3 also, gimme a OWA OWA IN THE COMMENT⚠️🥳🥳
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saint jenx🪐
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rubylane · 5 months ago
*   𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐑  𝐁𝐘  𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐀  𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐎  .      lyric starters from sour, change pronouns as needed.
𝐛𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐥 .
❛   i  want  it  to  be ,  like ,  messy .  ❜ ❛   i’m  so  insecure .  ❜ ❛   i’m  so  caught  up  in  the  news  of  who  likes  me  and  who  hates  you .  ❜ ❛   they’d  all  be  so  disappointed .  ❜ ❛   where’s  my  fucking  teenage  dream ?  ❜ ❛   i  don't  stick  up  for  myself .  ❜ ❛   i'm  anxious  and  nothing  can  help .  ❜ ❛   i  wish  people  liked  me  more .  ❜ ❛   all  i  did  was  try  my  best .  ❜ ❛   this  the  kind  of  thanks  i  get ?  ❜ ❛   i  wish  i  could  disappear .  ❜ ❛   god ,  it's  brutal  out  here .  ❜ ❛   i  feel  like  no  one  wants  me .  ❜ ❛   i  only  have  two  real  friends .  ❜
𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐨𝐫 .
❛   i  played  dumb  but  i  always  knew .  ❜ ❛   i  kept  quiet  so  i  could  keep  you .  ❜ ❛   ain’t  it  funny  how  you  said  you  were  friends ?  ❜ ❛   you  betrayed  me .  ❜ ❛   i  know  that  you'll  never  feel  sorry .  ❜ ❛   loved  you  at  your  worst  but  that  didn't  matter .  ❜ ❛   but  you’re  still  a  traitor .  ❜ ❛   there’s  no  damn  way  that  you  could  fall  in  love  with  somebody  that  quickly .  ❜ ❛   and  you  told  me  i  was  paranoid .  ❜ ❛   i  wish  that  you  had  thought  this  through  before  i  went  and  fell  in  love  with  you .  ❜
𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞 .
❛   i  got  my  driver's  license  last  week .  ❜ ❛   she's  everything  i'm  insecure  about .  ❜ ❛   how  could  i  ever  love  someone  else ?  ❜ ❛   i  know  we  weren’t  perfect  but  i’ve  never  felt  this  way  for  no  one .  ❜ ❛   i  just  can’t  imagine  how  you  could  be  so  okay  now  that  i’m  gone .  ❜ ❛   all  my  friends  are  tired  of  hearing  how  much  i  miss  you .  ❜ ❛   i  kinda  feel  sorry  for  them .  ❜ ❛   they'll  never  know  you  the  way  that  i  do .  ❜ ❛   i  guess  you  didn't  mean  what  you  wrote  in  that  song  about  me .  ❜ ❛   i  still  see  your  face  in  the  white  cars .  ❜ ❛   can't  drive  past  the  places  we  used  to  go  to .  ❜ ❛   i  still  fuckin’  love  you .  ❜ ❛   i  still  hear  your  voice  in  the  traffic .  ❜ ❛   you  said  forever .  ❜ ❛   now  i  drive  alone  past  your  street .  ❜
𝟏 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐩 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝, 𝟑 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐩𝐬 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 .
❛   i  called  you  on  the  phone  today .  ❜ ❛   all  i  did  was  speak  normally .  ❜ ❛   somehow  i  still  struck  a  nerve .  ❜ ❛   you  got  me  fucked  up  in  the  head .  ❜ ❛   never  doubted  myself  so  much .  ❜ ❛   like  am  i  pretty ?  ❜ ❛   i  hate  that  i  give  you  power  over  that  kinda  stuff .  ❜ ❛   it's  always  one  step  forward  and  three  steps  back .  ❜ ❛   i’m  the  love  of  your  life  until  i  make  you  mad .  ❜ ❛   do  you  love  me ,  want  me ,  hate  me ?  ❜ ❛   no,  i  don't  understand .  ❜ ❛   maybe  in  some  masochistic  way  i  kind  of  find  it  all  exciting .  ❜ ❛   which  lover  will  i  get  today ?  ❜ ❛   will  you  walk  me  to  the  door  or  send  me  home  crying ?  ❜ ❛   did  i  say  something  wrong ?  ❜ ❛   did  i  do  something  wrong ?  ❜ ❛   maybe  this  is  all  your  fault  instead .  ❜ ❛   i'd  leave  you,  but  the  rollercoaster's  all  i've  ever  had .  ❜
𝐝𝐞𝐣𝐚 𝐯𝐮 .
❛   i  bet  she’s  braggin’  to  all  her  friends .  ❜ ❛   so  when  you  gonna  tell  her  that  we  did  that ,  too ?  ❜ ❛   she  thinks  it's  special,  but  it's  all  reused .  ❜ ❛   do  you  call  her ,  almost  say  my  name ?  ❜ ❛   that  was  our  place .  ❜ ❛   i  found  it  first .  ❜ ❛   do  you  get  déjà  vu ?  ❜ ❛   let’s  be  honest ,  we  kinda  do  sound  the  same .  ❜ ❛   i  hate  to  think  that  i  was  just  your  type .  ❜ ❛   that  was  the  show  we  talked  about .  ❜ ❛   don’t  act  like  we  didn’t  do  that  shit ,  too .  ❜ ❛   a  different  girl  now,  but  there's  nothing  new .  ❜
𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝟒 𝐮 .
❛   well ,  good  for  you .  ❜ ❛   i  guess  you  moved  on  really  easily .  ❜ ❛   remember  when  you  said  that  you  wanted  to  give  me  the  world ?  ❜ ❛   you  look  happy  and  healthy .  ❜ ❛   not  me ,  if  you  ever  cared  to  ask .  ❜ ❛   you’re  doin’  great  out  there  without  me .  ❜ ❛   god ,  i  wish  that  i  could  do  that .  ❜ ❛   i’ve  lost  my  mind .  ❜ ❛   i’ve  spent  the  night  cryin’  on  the  floor  of  my  bathroom .  ❜ ❛   you’re  so  unaffected .  ❜ ❛   i  really  don't  get  it .  ❜ ❛   i  guess  you’re  gettin’  everything  you  want .  ❜ ❛   it's  like  we  never  even  happened .  ❜ ❛   what  the  fuck  is  up  with  that ?  ❜ ❛   it's  like  you  never  even  met  me .  ❜ ❛   remember  when  you  swore  to  god  i  was  the  only  person  who  ever  got  you ?  ❜ ❛   you  will  never  have  to  hurt  the  way  you  know  that  i  do .  ❜ ❛   maybe  i'm  too  emotional .  ❜ ❛   your  apathy’s  like  a  wound  in  salt .  ❜ ❛   maybe  you  never  cared  at  all .  ❜
𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 .
❛   ‘cause  i  thought  you'd  like  me  more .  ❜ ❛   tried  so  hard  to  be  everything  that  you liked .  ❜ ❛   stupid ,  emotional ,  obsessive  little  me .  ❜ ❛   i  knew  from  the  start  this  is  exactly  how  you’d  leave .  ❜ ❛   the  nеxt  second,  you  were  gone .  ❜ ❛   you  left  me  there  crying .  ❜ ❛   you  always  say  i'm  never  satisfied .  ❜ ❛   but  i  don't  think  that's  true .  ❜ ❛   all  i  ever  wanted  was  to  be  enough  for  you .  ❜ ❛   maybe  i’m  just  not  as  interesting .  ❜ ❛   you  couldn't  have  cared  less  about  someone  who  loved  you  more .  ❜ ❛   i’d  say  you  broke  my  heart .  ❜ ❛   but  you  broke  much  more  than  that .  ❜ ❛   now  i  don't  want  your  sympathy .  ❜ ❛   i  just  want  myself  back .  ❜ ❛   don’t  you  think  i  loved  you  too  much  to  be  used  and  discarded ?  ❜ ❛   don’t  you  think  i  loved  you  too  much  to  think  i  deserve  nothing ?  ❜ ❛   don't  tell  me  you're  sorry .  ❜ ❛   feel  sorry  for  yourself .  ❜ ❛   someday  i'll  be  everything  to  somebody  else .  ❜ ❛   you'll  be  the  one  who's  crying .  ❜ ❛   i  don't  think  anything  could  ever  be  enough  for  you .  ❜
𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐞𝐫 .
❛   i  thought  my  heart  was  detached .  ❜ ❛   does  she  mean  you  forgot  about  me ?  ❜ ❛   i  hope  you're  happy  but  not  like  how  you  were  with  me .  ❜ ❛   i’m  selfish,  i  know  .  ❜ ❛   i  hope  you’re  happy .  ❜ ❛   but  don’t  be  happier .  ❜ ❛   an  eternal  love  bullshit  you  know  you’ll  never  mean .  ❜ ❛   now  i’m  pickin’  her  apart .  ❜ ❛   i  wish  you  all  the  best ,  really .  ❜ ❛   i  hope  you’re  happy,  but  don't  be  happier .  ❜
𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐲, 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐲 .
❛   i  kinda  wanna  throw  my  phone  across  the  room .  ❜ ❛   wish  i  didn't  care .  ❜ ❛   i  know  their  beauty’s  not  my  lack .  ❜ ❛   It  feels  like  that  weight  is  on  my  back .  ❜ ❛   i  can't  let  it  go .  ❜ ❛   comparison  is  killing  me  slowly .  ❜ ❛   i  think  i  think  too  much .  ❜ ❛   i’m  so  sick  of  myself .  ❜ ❛   i’d  rather  be  anyone  else .  ❜ ❛   my  jealousy  started  following  me .  ❜ ❛   i  see  everyone  getting  all  the  things  i  want .  ❜ ❛   i’m  happy  for  them,  but  then  again,  i’m  not .  ❜ ❛   i  can't  stand  it .  ❜ ❛   oh  god ,  i  sound  crazy .  ❜ ❛   their  win  is  not  my  loss .  ❜ ❛   i  can’t  help  getting  caught  up  in  it  all .  ❜ ❛   all  your  friends  are  so  cool .  ❜ ❛   yeah,  you're  living  the  life .  ❜ ❛   i  wanna  be  you  so  bad .  ❜ ❛   i  don't  even  know  you .  ❜ ❛   all  i  see  is  what  i  should  be .  ❜
𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞 .
❛   know  that  i  loved  you  so  bad .  ❜ ❛   i  let  you  treat  me  like  that .  ❜ ❛   i  was  your  willing  accomplice .  ❜ ❛   i  watched  as  you  fled  the  scene .  ❜ ❛   the  things  i  did  just  so  i  could  call  you  mine .  ❜ ❛   i  hope  i  was  your  favorite  crime .  ❜ ❛   you  used  me  as  an  alibi .  ❜ ❛   i  crossed  my  heart  as  you  crossed  the  line .  ❜ ❛   i  defended  you  to  all  my  friends .  ❜ ❛   you  know  that  i'd  do  it  all  again .  ❜ ❛   it’s  bittersweet  to  think  about  the  damage  that  we’d  do .  ❜ ❛   i  was  doin’  it  with  you .  ❜ ❛   i  say  that  i  hate  you  with  a  smile  on  my  face .  ❜ ❛   look  what  we  became .  ❜
𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐤 .
❛   somehow  we  fell  out  of  touch .  ❜ ❛   hope  he  took  his  bad  deal  and  made  a  royal  flush .  ❜ ❛   don’t  know  if  i’ll  see  you  again  someday .  ❜ ❛   i  hope  that  you're  okay .  ❜ ❛   we  don't  talk  much .  ❜ ❛   i  just  gotta  say  i  miss  you .  ❜ ❛   address  the  letters  to  the  holes  in  my  butterfly  wings .  ❜ ❛   nothing’s  forever .  ❜ ❛   nothing’s  as  good  as  it  seems .  ❜ ❛   i  hope  you  know  how  proud  i  am  you  were  created .  ❜ ❛   i  hope  that  you're  happier  today .  ❜
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izu6ku · 5 months ago
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#𖤐 𝐌𝐲 𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐒𝐞𝐧𝐩𝐚𝐢 | 𝘪𝘻𝘶𝘬𝘶 𝘮𝘪𝘥𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘺𝘢
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# summary: no matter, what izuku always found himself getting rescued by you, his senpai and childhood crush.
# w/c: 3.4k
# c/w: mutual pining, reader is 19 + izuku is 18, porn with plot, izuku being insecure, fighting, bruises, slight angst (very slight), confession, izuku is a virgin, virginity loss, oral (male receiving), slight overstim, unprotected sex, smut + fluff.
# a/n: I'm really glad how this turned out :) thanks for 200 followers in literal days, you horny fucks. I appreciate your support <3
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midoriya was a wimp. always getting pushed around and walked over, sometimes by people who seemed too tiny to be an actual threat, but he was just so pathetic, it made it so easy— too easy —to take advantage of him.
you always remembered the spiky haired boy from your youth who would never stop tormenting midoriya, always picking fights with him for simply looking in his direction. you saw the way he'd push the boy to the ground, midoriya's emerald eyes welling with tears as he looked back up to the blonde boy and his posse, begging them to spare him the beating.
you never liked the spiky haired boy. you never liked bullies.
so, you didn't think twice that warm summer day when you stepped between the group of boys, arms opened out wide as you defended the crying boy. the spiky haired blonde didn't like that one bit, and he certainly didn't like when you activated your quick, sending him flying back on the ground as the two boys by his side ran away from you. you still remember the irked look that appeared on his face as he got up, and ran back to his friends, but not before declaring that he'd 'beat you one day'.
rolling your eyes, your attention shifted back to the boy on the floor behind you, who was now too weak in the knees to stand properly. "t-thank you for s-saving me..." he said weakly as you held his hands to help him up straight. his eyes widened a bit as he studied your face. he knew you, he thought. you were the pretty girl who'd gently sway on the park swings with a pencil in your hand and a book on your lap, doodling the day away. "you're welcome," you say with a smile.
letting go of his hands, you placed yours on your hips and cocked your head to the side. "you shouldn't let them bully you like that!" you scolded, watching as the boy fiddled with his fingers. "i-i'm sorry...but they're just– so much stronger..." he mumbled. you looked at him sternly for a moment. he did seem quite weak, you thought to yourself, before letting out a sigh. "fine then," you started. "if those meanies give you any trouble again," you pointed one hand to the sky, mimicking a superhero's pose, "I will protect you!"
the green haired boy's eyes lit up at your declaration, butterflies fluttering in his stomach and a smile plastering his face as he looked at you. you will protect him.
you got to know midoriya more after your first interaction; his interests, his hobbies, his aspirations, and he got to learn more about you. the boy even insisted on calling you his 'senpai' when he figured out you were a year older than him. 'it just feels right, senpai!' he said. eventually, the two of you became good friends, bonding with each other over your dream of becoming heroes, and many other little things that you had in common. you even kept your promise to him from that summer day, always stepping in between his interactions with the boy he called 'kacchan' before they could escalate to fights, which he appreciated dearly.
midoriya loved spending time with you, and you figured as much when he cried the day you and your family left Musutafu for a three day vacation, but could you blame him?
midoriya thought you were the nicest person on earth; you never bullied him, you never reprimanded him, you were just nice. even when midoriya mentioned that he was quirkless, you never made fun of him. instead, you motivated him, telling him to strive to be the world's first quirkless hero. it was no secret he liked you a lot, and those feelings grew more and more as time went on.
the two of you were now in your third year at UA and his feelings for you never ceased, even though you looked so different from the girl he'd call 'senpai' back then. your body became more mature as your full, perky tits threatened to pop out of your tight shirt, your small skirt barely fitting over your plump ass. you probably didn't bother getting a new uniform since your old ones could still fit, albeit, a bit tightly.
you were a lot more popular now too, laughing and giggling amongst people he swore he'd never seen before, your phone filled with unread messages and locker stuffed with unopened letters from guys and girls alike who tried to shoot their shot with you. it wasn't surprising that you were asked out daily by your peers, you were gorgeous, determined and strong, who wouldn't want to be with you? 'there's someone else I'm interested in!' he heard you say once as you were talking to your friends.
izuku changed quite a bit since you were kids as well. he'd gotten a lot taller, barely passing six feet. his curly green hair was shaved down to an undercut that suit his features, which were much sharper now, more mature. he'd gotten more confident as well, garnering his own fare share of followers and friends, but in his eyes, he was still plain, old deku.
honestly, he felt like he shouldn't even be near you, no less friends with you. he tried many times to leave you alone, so caught up in the fact that someone as great and popular as you shouldn't be hanging out with someone as boring as him, but you always found your way back to him.
at lunch, you'd abandon your friends and sit at his table, laughing and chatting with him and his small circle. during training, you practically begged to be paired up with him, always wanting him to be your sparing partner. you'd invite him to your friends' party, ultimately deciding that you wouldn't go if he wanted to stay in.
eventually, he realized that although you looked different now, you were still the same girl who promised to protect him all those years ago.
but who knew that your promise would still apply today?
"fucking bitch–!" a voice said, before midoriya received a sharp kick to his side. the trio of boys barked with laughter as he tried to look up at them from the ground, unable to move his body due to one of the boy's quirk. "I'll tell you again," a gruff voice said, "stay the fuck away from y/n." the world really had it out for him, huh? midoriya was just minding his business, walking back to the dorms, when he got attacked by a group of boys, threatening him to leave you alone. "and if I don't?" midoriya asked, a scowl growing on his assailants' face. "you fucking better if you know what's good for you." he spat, his tone cruel and violent.
"yeah, you think y/n wants a bitch like you following her around like a damn puppy?!" a different voice spoke this time. "and what makes you think she wants assholes like you on her ass—" the boy's foot collided with the greenette's face with a hash kick, the pain from the hit leaving his mind dizzy. "watch your fucking mou—"
their heads snapped in your direction, your presence shocking them so much that the effects of the quirk deactivated, leaving izuku gasping for air as the unbearable pressure was lifted from his body. "s-senpai..?" izuku choked out, holding his bruised side.
anger wracked through you body as the three boys stared at you, dumbfounded. "y-y/n! what are you doing here..?!" the one with the gruff voice asked. "cut the bullshit, tadashi. what the fuck are you doing?" you say far too calmly. izuku listened as tadashi stammered, trying to find something to say to you. "we were, uh, trying to get him to stay away from you.." another boy spoke.
you looked down at izuku for a moment, all he did was keep his head down, listening to the confrontation. sadness and anger clenched your heart at the sight. you stepped closer to tadashi before grabbing the tie around his neck, pulling his face downwards and landing a hard punch on his cheek that had him stumbling backwards. "leave, now." you say, your voice dripping in venom, watching as the three scrambled away.
you hurried over to izuku's side, your eyebrows knit in concern as you gently held his face in your hands, forcing him to look up at you. "izu..." you sighed as he didn't bother looking you in your eyes. "let's get you back to the dorms," you say, throwing his arm over your shoulder and lifting him off the ground, carrying him over to the heights alliance.
after giving your concerned classmates a brief explanation of what happened, you carried izuku up to your room, where he sat on your bed as you searched for your first aid kit. his eyes couldn't help but wander to a thick pile of sketchbooks at the corner of your room. you always were quite the artist, he thought. neither of you said a word as you observed his injuries. he had slight bruising on his cheek and to the side of his stomach, nothing that would kill him, but you had no doubt that it still hurt.
you finally broke the silence as you gently applied ointment to his cheek. "izuku...i'm sorry." you say, your voice coming out as a whisper. he stayed silent for a few seconds, "for what? this wasn't your fault." you frowned at his words. "but it was! i-i told them something about you and— and they went out of their way to attack you!" you cried.
"you what?" you froze, realizing what you just said. "i..i mean– i..." izuku looked at you coldly, his expression shooting fear into your heart. "what did you tell them?" he asked. he couldn't believe this. he thought you were his friend. he thought you cared. did you change that much that you were gossiping about him? where you really his senpai anymore?
"I–" you paused for a moment, swallowing thickly before speaking, "I told them I liked you."
"you WHAAAT?!" the boy exclaimed, his cheeks flushed red. "don't seem so shocked, you asked!" you said, covering your face from embarrassment. "w-well I thought you were going to say you hated me, not that you LIKED me!" you paused. "wait, why would you think I hated you?"
izuku rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "well, it's just that– you've gotten so popular, senpai, and I..I just kinda thought you didn't like me anymore. I'm so boring compared to you," he sighed, "I just figured you wouldn't want to hang around anyone as plain as m–"
you cut him off with a kiss, his eyes shooting open in panic and shock before you pulled away. "you're not plain, izuku, you're so amazing," you say, kissing him ice more. he returned the kiss this time, inhaling sharply and relaxing his jaw, allowing your tongue to slither in and explore his mouth. your soft lips felt like heaven against his, his heart racing just from kissing you, just from being so close to you. slowly, your hands travelled down to his lower abdomen, and you fiddled with the belt around his waist before pulling away, a string of saliva lingering behind from your wet kiss.
a soft gasp left his lips from your actions, he could already feel himself getting hard. placing his hand over yours, your eyes met as he spoke softly to you. "do you really want to do this...with me, senpai?" he asked, disbelief painting his features. you nodded and smiled sweetly, giving him a small peck on his lips before unbuckling his belt, tossing it onto the floor.
you gently palmed the tent in his pants and he hissed, squeezing his eyes shut as he felt his cock twitch under your touch. "are you a virgin, 'zuku?" you asked, looking up at him. "y-yes.." he admitted shyly. so cute, you thought to yourself. you pressed a kiss to his inner thigh. "alright, we'll take this slowly then."
he felt a wave of nervousness overtake him as you began unbuttoning his pants, getting so close to pulling down his draws. what if he wasn't enough for you? what if you didn't like what you saw? what if you changed your mind right then and there? he'd die of embarrassment for sure! this was a bad idea, a bad, bad, bad id—
as soon as you pulled the fabric down, izuku's cock sprang free, and you can't help the soft gasp that came from your mouth. his length was a little bit larger than average, but he was thick, far thicker than any guy you've been with. his tip was an adorable shade of pink, a bead of pre oozing from the slit. the sight of him alone had your pussy clenching around nothing but air.
"fuck izu.." you mumbled. his eyebrows knit anxiously, waiting for you to say something, anything.
"you're so perfect."
...huh?! just how many times were you going to say something unexpected like that?!
"i- thank you.." he whispered, letting out a breath he didn't know he had. "you ready?" you asked, waiting for his permission. this was about him, you thought. from back then to now, it was always about him. "I'm ready," he nodded.
he whimpered softly as you slowly began stroking his length, his head lightly hitting the headboard of your bed as you passed your thumb over his tip, smearing the pre around his head. "f-fuck..." he cursed, his cock twitching.
"you're so pretty, izu," your praise going straight to his head, as if he wasn't already too enamoured by you. the pleasure you were giving him— no, blessing him with was unlike anything he'd ever felt, and so much better than he'd ever imagine, his hips moving with your hand as you stroked him.
he whined as you stopped your movements, breath hitching as you kissed his tip. your tongue dragged up the underside of his cock and he moaned, slapping a scarred hand over his mouth in an effort to silence himself. you chuckled slightly, giving his tip one more kiss before you took him into your mouth, muffled noises coming from the boy as you took him inch by inch, the warmth of your mouth driving him mad.
his eyes rolled to the back of his head as you sucked him gently, the knuckles of his free hand turning white from gripping the sheets too hard, his other hand still over his mouth. your mouth worked wonders around him, and he knew he wasn't going to last long, tears already threatening to stream down his face. although they were mostly muffled, you loved the moans that came out of him, so desperate and pretty for you.
"s-senpai!" he choked out, his voice strained. that name sounded so pretty coming from him. " 'm close, s-so close..!" both his hands were now in your hair, trying not to grip too tightly as he trusted into your mouth. indulging him, you took in all of him, his pubes ticking your nose and his tip hitting the back of your throat. "fuck!" he wailed at the sensation, thick ropes of cum shooting down your throat as he forced your head down further on his cock, causing you to gag around him.
you pulled away, coughing as you tried to catch your breath, the slightly salty taste of his cum still fresh on your tongue. "o-oh my god, I'm so sorry senpai! a-are you okay?! i mean obviously you're not but– ah, this is all my fault!—" he rambled on as you caught your breath, wiping the spit from your mouth before grabbing the boy's face, calming him in an instant.
"baby, I'm fine," you chuckled, your words making his stomach flutter. "I– okay.." he says, before shyly pecking your lips once, then twice, before pulling you into a long kiss. lips still locked, you straddled your legs to his sides before guiding his hands under your skirt, his fingers playing with the elastic of your underwear before slowly pulling them down.
he was nervous, you could tell by the way his hand shook. breaking away from the kiss, you brushed away the green curls that fell in his eyes, thumb lightly going over the bruise on his freckled face. you were sure to properly kick tadashi and his shitty crew's ass for that next time you saw him. "relax, 'zuku, it's just me," you comforted and he nodded, "y-yeah, right."
biting his lip, he reached his hand under your skirt, fingers ghosting over your wet folds before lightly touching your clit, getting a soft gasp from you in return. "does that...feel good?" he felt so dumb for asking, but he wanted you to feel good too, getting a bit more confident when you nodded. he could tell you didn't bother wearing a bra to class as his other hand reached up to your chest, gently playing with your right breast and teasing your nipples as his fingers worked around your clit.
the pretty whines and breathy moans that came from you made izuku's mind buzz with desire, wanting to do more to you, wanting to make you feel good. suddenly, you grabbed his wrist, stopping his gentle attack on your cunt. "see how wet you make me, 'zuku?" you said, bringing his fingers, wet with your slick into the light for him to examine. a moan left his mouth as you pushed his fingers in your mouth, sucking his fingers clean of your wetness before kissing him, your flavor leaving him groaning into your mouth.
breaking the kiss, you reach down between your bodies, taking izuku's cock and aligning it with your entrance. "relax," you say, throwing your arms around his neck and pressing a kiss to his forehead as you noticed him tense up. slowly, you sank down onto him, soft whines coming from the two of you as his tip stretched you open. a breath of relief escaped you as he finally bottomed out, izuku's face buried in the crook of your neck as he took in deep breaths, his mind practically spinning from how tight you were, your walls clenching around him. "please, not yet.." he whimpered, his already sensitive cock still getting used to the feeling of being inside you.
you plaster kisses along the side of his jaw and down his neck, whispering sweet words of encouragement in his ear, reminding him to take his time. a choked moan left your mouth as izuku suddenly rolled his hips against yours, his hands gripping your waist as he lifted you up slightly, before thrusting into you, giving you nonverbal permission to move.
slowly, you began bouncing up and down on his cock, the lewd noises of your deliciously tight cunt squeezing him just right drove the two of you insane. "fuck, y' feel s-so good, senpai..!" izuku's cheeks flushed as he cursed. "not g– not g'nna last long!"
"yeah? you g'nna cum again for me?" you asked, feeling his head nod against your neck. you brought his face up to yours, kissing him sloppily as your speed increased, moaning loudly when the tip of his cock hit the sensitive spot inside you.
"senpai– I..!" he warned, pressing his forehead against yours. "me too, zuku, want you to cum inside me–!" you felt his cock pulse at your words. desperate whines and moans filled the room as he began thrusting into you faster and harder than before as you both chased your high.
your bodies felt hot against each other as you moved in perfect harmony, completely lost in each other's euphoria. with one last hard thrust, he came inside your pussy with a guttural moan, warm cum filling you up as you gushed around his cock, his legs trembling beneath you. a soft whine escaped you as he pulled out, your liquids mixed with his dripping down your ass, your pussy still fluttering as you came down from your high.
a comfortable silence settled between you as izuku gently kissed you, from your collar bone, working his way up to your temples. you looked up to him, a soft smile gracing your face as you admired him in his afterglow, his face flushed prettily.
"don't ever go around thinking you're boring ever again!" you scolded. he laughed, suddenly reminded of that one warm summer day. "you g'nna try protecting me from myself if I do?" he asked, grinning widely. "I might just have too," you say, lightly flicking his forehead with your finger.
your face was in izuku's hands this time as he pulled you into a passionate kiss, a kiss he'd been wanting to have with you since you were children. you giggled as he pulled away, 'love struck' written all over his face as you fell back onto your bed with each other.
"I love you, izuku." you say, tightening your arms around him.
"I love you too, y/n."
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time-for-a-lullaby · a month ago
A Little Bit Yours
A Little Bit Yours
Chris Evans x Singer/Song Writer Reader    
Summary: You're performing a new song that you wrote about Chris after your breakup a few months ago. It gets recorded and passed around the internet, eventually landing in Chris's lap causing him to reach out.
(this was an anon. request, kinda... all it said was ‘can you do a singer/song writer reader with Chris? Soooo I just kind of went with it lol)
Warnings: language
A/N: I’m not sure how I feel about this one... like I feel like it’s like the same old same old.. idk, but I’ve been trying to finish this one for like over a month, so I wanted to get it out haha also I've been on a JP Saxe kick recently. If you haven't heard of him, check him out  lyrics to the song in italics, flashbacks in bold/italics
You sat down at the piano, smiling and reveling in the cheers coming from the crowd. This was the second sold out show of your stadium tour and instead of being nervous, the adrenaline had taken over completely, allowing you to completely soak in every moment. And you definitely were. 
Swinging your leg around the bench, you faced the crowd, pulling the mic off of its stand. "Holy shit, you guys!" you paused, catching your breath as they cheered. You pulled your earpiece out, wanting to hear everything. "You guys are AMAZING!" you laughed as they cheered again, beaming from ear to ear.
 You took a drink of water from the bottle of water placed on top of the piano. "So, we're gonna slow things down just a tad. How do we feel about hearing an unreleased song from my next album?!" You were performing at Fenway Park in Boston and as soon as you landed, you were suffocated by all things Chris. It only felt right to perform a song written about him. It almost felt therapeutic in a way? Like you were getting some kind of closure? You'd dated Chris for a couple of years and broke up around 9 months ago. It still ate you up inside and you definitely weren't over him. Not that it mattered, as he just went public with his new girlfriend. 
You turned back, facing the piano, and placed the mic back on the stand. You took a deep breath, stroking a few keys softly. "You know, I wrote this song pretty recently and I can't say why, but tonight just feels like a good night to debut it... How do you feel about that?" You asked, smiling as they cheered in response. You continued to softly play the intro to the song while talking, "I feel like everyone has that one person they just can't let go, ya know? Everyone has that breakup that just absolutely rocks you to your core and no matter how long you try and try to move on, you just always get pulled back to them." You paused, taking another breath, "It's like you relive the breakup over and over again every time you let yourself fall down that hole. So, when I fell down that hole, I made something out of it and I would love to play it for you tonight." All of the sudden, your stomach turned into butterflies. Should you do this? You swallowed the lump in your throat, pausing to grab another drink of water. You glanced over at your stage manager, Jake, who smiled and gave you a thumbs up. Once the cheering died down a little, you began to play the intro to the song, "This is 'A Little Bit Yours', I hope you enjoy." 
"You found someone new before me
And you didn't try nearly as hard
And maybe that's the problem
I don't know how to take it away from you
Without giving someone else my heart"
You tried to stay focused on just the song and prevent the memories of the day you found out about Chris and his new girlfriend from intruding your thoughts. You didn't try hard enough. 
You stared at the picture for longer than you'd like to admit. He never posted on Instagram. Your heart sank and your eyes filled with tears as you examined the picture. She was pretty. Her long brown hair flowed down her back, stopping halfway down, Chris's hand resting just below. Her smile was radiant as he pressed a kiss to her cheek. Up until your breakup with Chris, you never realized that heartbreak could be physical pain, but here you were, clutching your chest. You tried to concentrate on your breathing, trying not to let yourself be consumed by this. It'd only been 6 months... how could he move on so quickly? How was he not hurting like you were?
"All I do, is get over you
And I'm still so bad at itI let myself want you
I let myself try I let myself fall back into your eyes I let myself want you I let myself hope I let myself feel things I know that you don't
You're not mine anymore
But I'm still a little bit yours"
You added a few extra notes in between the chorus and the next verse so you could collect yourself. It was like every time you thought you were over him, every time you thought you were done, something brought you right back to loving him. But you did it to yourself. You wrote this song. You decided to debut it tonight, in Boston. The lyrics stung even more than normal because they were so true. Over and over again for the past 9 months, you've cycled through trying to move on and being pulled right back in. You let yourself daydream about being with him again. Him falling for you all over again. Calling you, asking for you to come back. You give yourself hope when you shouldn’t. He obviously didn’t feel the same way, he’s moved on. He posted her on Instagram. You leaned away from the mic, clearing your throat before starting on the second verse.
“Maybe if I'd said the right things
It never would've gone this way
But maybe that's the problem
'Cause I still kinda think it was up to me
When I never could've made you stay
All I do is get over you
And I'm still so bad at it”
You looked out to the crowd, tearing up. Thousands of people, holding their cell phone flashlights in the air and swaying back and forth. Were you tearing up at that? Or was it Chris? You tried to contain your emotions because everyone would know who the song was written about. It wasn't hard to put two and two together. You'd recently written it... recently broken up with Chris... You didn't want him to know he still had this effect on you without even being around you.
 "We outgrew, the love we knew
But I still wish I had itI let myself want you
I let myself try I let myself fall back into your eyes I let myself want you I let myself hope I let myself feel things I know that you don't
You're not mine anymore
But I'm still a little bit yours"
You played through the rest of the song, letting a few tears slip down your cheeks. Cheers erupted through the stadium when you played the last note. You stood up and grabbed the mic from the stand, wiping at your cheeks, "Man, you guys are amazing! Enough with the heavy, here we go!" You signaled for the band to start on your next song, definitely more uplifting than the last. 
Once you finished the show, you ran off the side, heart pounding from the adrenaline. You ran into your stage manager's arms, wrapping him in a hug, "OH MY GOD, that was amazing!!" you laughed as he shook your body back and forth. "You fucking killed it, Y/N! Singing 'A Little Bit Yours' tonight was a good call, your emotion was so raw." He kissed his fingertips dramatically, "Ugh, chef's kiss." 
You laughed, "I don't think you're supposed to gesture and say it at the same time." you winked, taking out your earpiece and passing the mic to someone. "Thank you, it felt good. I'm glad it's out. The song, the emotions, that felt good!" You stood still while the crew took cords off of you. 
He walked with you to your dressing room, filling you in with all of your travel plans, "Next stop is Citi Field in Queens. You fly out Thursday morning at 8:30, concert is Saturday night. You get a little bit of a break between these two." 
You nodded, opening the door and throwing your jacket onto your chair, "Thanks, Jake. Now get out of here, tell your boyfriend I said Happy Birthday, let someone else handle breakdown." 
"Thank you, Y/N." He smiled warmly, wrapping you in another hug before leaving you alone. You sat and took a deep breath, burying your face into your hands. The post-show adrenaline was starting to wear off. You sighed, pulling out your phone, seeing a ton of notifications from Twitter. When you opened the app, you saw that your name was trending, as well as Chris's. You bit your lip as you looked through the tags, seeing a ton of videos of your concert tonight, specifically your performance of A Little Bit Yours. You clicked on a video titled 'Y/N's Extremely Emotional Performance; Her Song To Ex-Boyf, Chris Evans'.
 You listened to the narrator talk about your relationship with Chris and how you obviously still weren't over him, despite his new girlfriend. You rolled your eyes after reading the comments and closed the app, throwing your phone onto your couch. This was going to be fun... You were trying not to regret your decision to play this song, but it was clear that maybe you didn't think it through completely.
A couple of days later, things about Chris had cleared up for the most part. You were sitting in the green room, your MUA putting on the final touches before your show started.
 "Uh, Y/N?" Stevie, your assistant looked over at you with big eyes. "Do you--- should you take this?" She flipped your phone around, Chris's name spelled across the screen as it vibrated in her hand. 
You stared at it for a second before shaking your head, "No. It's fine. Voicemail." You cleared your throat, sitting up straight in your chair as she sent his call to voicemail and slipped your phone back in her pocket. 
A few seconds later, she pulled it back out, looking up at you quickly, "Y/N..." she flipped it around, showing you the screen. Again, lit up with Chris's name. 
Your heart pounded in your chest as you reached for the phone, "Can I have the room, please?" you pressed the green button, waiting for a second while everyone shuffled quickly out of the room. You hesitated before placing your phone up to your ear, "Yeah?" 
Chris chuckled on the other end, "We don't speak for 9 months and that's how you answer the phone? 'Yeah?' No 'hello, nice to hear from you, Chris?'" he asked, chuckling again. 
"I'm kind of in a rush, Chris. I'm going on stage in 15 minutes. What do you need?" you asked, your voice stale. 
He cleared his throat, "Sorry, I didn't realize you had a show today." You furrowed your brows at the awkward pause. "I--- I can call back later."
You sighed, "Chris, please don't. Unless it's something urgent or there's an emergency or something serious. Just--- please don't call unless it's like life or death."
"I'm seriously not allowed to call you unless someone is dying?" 
"I would prefer it that way. We have no reason to talk, Chris." you swallowed the lump in your throat. Why was it so hard to say his name out loud?
"I don't think that's true. I heard--" He hesitated, shifting his phone to his other hand. "I saw a video from your last concert... It sounds like we do have something to talk about."
You scoffed, "No, we don't. I have to go, please don't call back, Chris. I can't do this."
"Y/N, please. Just give me like 15 minutes. Tomorrow or after your show tonight?" 
You shook your head, "Bye, Chris." You hung up, interrupting whatever he was saying next. You placed your phone on the counter, walking over to your door, pulling it open, and sticking your head out, "Am I good to go?" 
Stevie nodded, her eyes wide. "Everything okay?" 
"Yup, just peachy." You stepped out, smoothing out your clothes before walking to the stage with Jake. 
"So.. Chris called?" 
You rolled your eyes, looking over at Stevie who quickly looked away, avoiding your glance. "He did."
He handed you your earpiece and mic, "And?"
 You put your earpiece in, looking up at him, "And what? I told him not to call back."
"You did?" 
You nodded, "I did, I'm too busy for another one of his useless excuses."
He smiled, "Proud of you. Now, get out there and kill it." 
You winked as the platform began to rise, "Always."
A few months had passed, and Chris never called. Part of you was grateful that he didn't, but another part of you wanted to hear what he had to say.. Tonight was your last concert and you were wrapping up at Dodger Stadium in Los Angeles. You weren't necessarily ready to be done touring, but you were excited to take a small break and spend time with friends and family. Towards the end of your show, you ran off the stage for a brief second to change clothes.
 Jake approached while items of clothing were being ripped off and replaced and your makeup was being touched up. You took the bottle of water from Stevie and took a sip while he talked. "Are you playing 'A Little Bit Yours'? They can wheel the piano out right now and give the band a break before the closing song." 
You contemplated while someone touched up your hair. "What do you think? Yes? No?" 
He shrugged, "It's up to you, it's been getting a shit ton of hype, though." 
"Yeah, I'll do it. Go ahead with the piano." you took another sip of water while Jake walked off, his finger over his earpiece as he instructed everyone on what to do. He came back a few seconds later, nodding and giving you thumbs up, so you tossed the water bottle back to Stevie and walked back out on stage. 
You grabbed the mic, making your way to the piano that was now in the center of the stage. "Alright, LA! How the hell are you??" You stood, leaning against the piano as you took in the crowd of your last concert. "I've got a couple more songs for you tonight, we're gonna slow it down just a tad right now, though. I hope that's okay!" you smiled as they cheered, standing up straight and making your way to the piano bench. "I've only played this song once this entire tour, but we've decided to play it one more time here at my last show." You took a seat, stroking the ivory keys to the tune of 'A Little Bit Yours'.
You got to the second verse when you turned to look out to the crowd, words getting caught in your throat when you laid eyes on Chris in the VIP pit to the left of the stage. You quickly turned your attention back to the piano when you played the wrong note, throwing you off a tad. You leaned back, clearing your throat. What the fuck was he doing here? You made eye contact with Jake backstage, who threw a quizzical glance your way, noticing your mistake. You shook your head slightly, brushing it off and continuing with the song. 
Once the song ended, you stood up and blew kisses to the crowd before running off stage again, Jake waiting for you in the wings. "What the fuck is Chris doing here?" 
His eyes widened, "Chris is here?! Is that what caught you up?"
 "Yeah, he's in the freaking VIP pit." You grabbed water from Stevie, taking a drink. 
"Jesus Christ." Jake shrugged, "Well, nothing you can do. Just go out there and show him what he's missing!"
"Jeez, thank you for the pep talk." You laughed, walking back out on stage.
Later that night once your concert was finished, you sat in the green room fanning yourself and downing a bottle of water. Stevie came running in, barging through the door, "Y/N, Chris. Coming." She panted, a panicked look on her face.
She took a deep breath, "Chris is coming. Like now."
You shook your head, "No. What? No. I don't want him bac--" before you could finish your sentence, you heard Chris's voice echo off of the walls as he laughed at something someone said. "Nope." You stood up, gathering your things, "Stevie, I need you to go stall so I can leave. I can't. This is my last show, I'm not letting him ruin the night." 
She stared at you, dumbfounded, "What am I supposed to do?" 
"I don't know, ask for a picture. He likes to look at himself," you suggested, slightly panicking as his voice got closer. "Go!"
She turned on her heels, scurrying out of the room. You heard her approach Chris and used this as an opportunity to slip out. You grabbed the rest of your things, peeking your head out of the door. Once he was posing with Stevie, you quietly exited the green room, heading in the opposite direction. You weren't exactly sure why Chris was here, but you didn't exactly care. The conversation you'd had before you moved out still stung and you weren't ready to revisit that. Both of you said things you didn't mean, but Chris's words were a little harder for you to digest. You guys had always been on the same page about your life together. Always. Chris had said some pretty harsh things when he found himself wanting things that you didn't at the moment. You were happy that he found someone that could give him the marriage and family that he wanted to desperately right now, but your career was just starting to pick up, you'd set the dates for your first stadium tour and you weren't ready to stop any time soon. Chris was. That wasn't any fault of his, but you couldn't give him what he wanted and the way he went about it left some pretty deep wounds, especially now that he had moved on so soon after your relationship ended. 
You heard footsteps running after you, but you didn't turn. They were far too heavy to be Stevie's and Jake was helping with stage breakdown, so it was clearly Chris. He'd spotted you trying to slip out. 
"You're seriously gonna make me chase you?" He yelled, slowing his pace as he started to catch up. 
You kept walking, shaking your head, "I'm not making you do anything, Chris. Go home."
"Y/N, come on." He reached out and grabbed your hand, pulling you to a stop. "Can we just talk for a second?" 
Shaking your head again, you pulled your hand out of his, "I don't really have anything to talk to you about."
"Well, I have tons." 
Neither of you said anything for a few seconds.
You sighed and met his eyes, "Not here."
 "Great, we can go back to my place." 
"Uh, no." You let out a sarcastic laugh, "Hard pass." You gestured for him to follow you, avoiding Stevie's stare as you entered the green room. You took a seat on the couch, folding your legs and sitting criss-cross. "Have a seat," you gestured to the chair next to you. 
"When did you get so harsh?" 
"I'm not being harsh, Chris. I just-- I don't know why you're here. After the things that you said... I'm not sure what you think this is going to do. And to be completely honest, I don't think you being here or the conversation you're trying to have is going to do any good for anyone. Especially with that new girlfriend of yours." You replied, leaning back and crossing your arms. 
He nodded slowly, "Ah, so you did see the picture." 
"Kinda hard not to when everyone and their mom sends it to you."
"Well, don't worry about her. We broke up." You wouldn't know. You'd unfollowed him on everything so you wouldn't be reminded of the fact that she was getting everything you wanted. "She--uh-- broke up with me after your song, actually." 
You stared at him for a second, "Oh-- Uh-- I'm sorry, I mean, I didn't-- that wasn't my intention." you stammered. 
He waved his hand dismissively, "It was for the best."
"So--" you shifted your seat a little, "--why are you here?" 
"Well, Y/N. I know that things didn't end all that well with us. I said some pretty... uncalled for shit." You nodded, glad he could at least own up to it. "I'm really, truly sorry for the way that I handled our breakup. It's really been bothering me. Truly. I was entirely too hard on you." His expression softened, eyebrows raised slightly.
"Well, I'm glad you can acknowledge that," you replied, biting your lip before responding, "I'm sorry that I'm not able to give you the things that you want right now." 
He smiled softly, looking down at his hands for a second, "Well, that's what I came to talk to you about. I've found myself thinking about whether or not you actually meant the words in your song, a lot more than I would care to admit. I wondered if it was true, if you still loved me. Because even when I was with Steph, I couldn't stop thinking about how I would wait 15 more years to settle down and have a family if it meant I was having that with you." 
You inhaled sharply as your heart pounded out of your chest. Did he mean it? Some part of you was waiting for him to say this. This is what you wanted to hear. You didn't need 15 years, you needed like 2 or 3. That didn't seem like something he was willing to compromise on.
"So... was the song just something you wrote... or did you mean it?"
 "I mean-- I-- I guess I meant it when I wrote it. But Chris, I wrote it like almost a year ago." Deep down you knew that you did still have feelings for him, but admitting that to Chris after he'd broken your heart just wasn't going to happen. "I mean, you made it very clear that we were done and that there was no hope for us.
"His face fell a little, "Well, at the time, I thought those things were true."
"But you can't just come back now and just decide that you want this again." you countered, gesturing between the two of you, "I mean, how is that fair? You act like my whole life just revolves around your timeline and your schedule. Like I had to be okay with the breakup because I couldn't give you what you wanted and now I have to be okay with you wanting to get back together because you decided that you would wait."
He hesitated, seemingly understanding why it felt like that to you, "I'm sorry that that's how it feels to you, truly." He paused, running his fingers through his hair, "I tried to move on because I thought it's what I wanted. Okay? I thought it was. I realized my mistake, but I stayed with Stephanie because I was scared that I wouldn't find something like what we had again. And then I heard your song and then it was trending on Twitter and she questioned me about my feelings for you... and I couldn't deny it anymore. To her, to myself. And I needed to make sure you knew how I felt. If you don't want to get back together, I mean, I get it. I said some pretty harsh stuff and it was unfair to you how things were handled. But I just needed to tell you. I needed to get it all out there because I don't think I'm capable of loving anyone the way that I love you."
You took a deep breath, "Chris... I don't know." 
"It took me entirely too long to figure this out and I don't want to waste any more time, Y/N. You are the love of my life." He stood, walking over to you before kneeling on the floor in front of where you sat, "I'm so sorry for the things that I did and said. Please, just... give me one more chance, Y/N. Please."
You shook your head, looking at his hands as he rested them on your knees, "God, I hate what you do to me." 
He chuckled, reaching up and resting his palm against your cheek, "I love you, Y/N. I'm so sorry I let you go. I'm so sorry I hurt you with the things I said."
 You hesitated for a second, unsure of whether or not you were ready to fall back into this. 
"Why don't you take some time to think about it. I'll be a phone call away whenever you make a decision." He stood, walking towards the door.
 You watched him leave and shook your head, standing up and walking over to the door. You pulled it open, almost running into Chris.
"I thought you were leaving." 
He smiled, "I was hoping you would follow me." 
You shook your head again, a playful smile forming on your lips. "You know me too well." You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling his lips to yours. 
You separated when Jake walked around the corner, "Y/F/N Y/L/N!! I know I do not see you kissing Chris."
Chris laughed as you yanked him back into the green room, locking the door behind you, "I'm guessing Jake doesn't like me anymore."
 "No..." You laughed, "Also, I might've told him to stop me from getting back together with you..." 
 "Yeah.. Sorry 'bout that..." Jake pounded on the door, making you and Chris erupt into a fit of laughter. 
"I'll take him out to dinner, make a case for myself." 
You smiled, "I'm sure he would love that."
"I'm not  leaving until he does!!" He shouted from the other side of the door, continuing to knock. 
You laughed again, "Let's just get out of here." 
Chris raised an eyebrow, "Are you sure about that?" 
"I love you, Chris," You smiled and repeated his words from earlier, "And I don't wanna waste anymore time."
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ao3commentoftheday · 2 months ago
Hello! First of all, thank you for running this blog. I love it and I have learned a lot from it.
Second, how can I get rid of overanalyzing everything in my fic? The reason most of my WIPs never get done is because I keep looking for flaws until I become sick of the fic and leave it in the drafts. It's something I want to work through. I want to be able to enjoy myself writing these fics and not having to stress out over minor details. I want to be able to share something for once and contribute to the fandom and get feedback. However, this has been destroying anything I write. I lose confidence in what I've written because I notice mistakes in the plot so much that I'm scared to post anything. Like, what about the flaws I can't see? What about them?
It seems to me like you're running into the question that every perfectionist runs into: would you rather be perfect or would you rather be done?
Except that's not really the question. The real question is would you rather finish or give up? Because perfection isn't possible and striving for it fruitlessly eventually leads to exhaustion.
Everyone makes mistakes. Every story has mistakes in it. Everything that everyone does, every day of their lives is done less than perfectly - but we all keep surviving and moving on from day to day just fine.
Right now, you're weighing yourself down with an incredible burden. You're holding yourself to a standard that no one else is holding you to. You need to find ways to forgive yourself for your mistakes before you'll be able to let go and get past this.
You don't have to be perfect in order to be accepted or successful or praised or loved. The quality of your work has nothing to do with your worth as a human being. You are valuable because you are here in this world, sharing yourself with us. We're all richer for having you here.
Try to separate the act of writing from the idea of posting. Give yourself the freedom to make mistakes by telling yourself that you're the only one who will see the finished product. Allow yourself to be as silly or messy or stupid or whatever as you want to be in the privacy of your own google doc and get used to seeing a typo or an awkward phrase. That might help you realize that those things are okay and don't really matter in comparison to the story as a whole.
If you're comfortable doing it, find yourself a beta. They don't have to be someone in your fandom, but they should be someone you feel you can trust. Let that person know how you're feeling and work together to find a feedback style that works for you both. Once you're comfortable sharing with one person, you might feel ready to share with more. Or you might not. But at least then you'll know yourself better and know what you want to do going forward.
Have any of you dealt with something similar to what anon is experiencing? How did you handle it?
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suhkusa · a year ago
perfect girlfriend
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pairing ; Kei Tsukishima x f!reader
request ; "Tsukishima angst where you think he doesnt love you anymore and you hear him call you clingy so you change to be his perfect gf and he hates it." - anon
wc ; 1,925
warnings ; angst to fluff
a/n ; since i didnt do yesterday's kinktober im here with something else LMAO also this cabin and the whole vibe and atmosphere reminds me of twilight....wheres edward cullen im tryin get that vampire dick - anica
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He doesn't love you, does he? Or maybe Tsukishima is just bad at showing feelings...affection. Maybe he’s scared of seeming too soft for you, afraid it will make him look like some sort of wimp.
But he wasn't. Not to you. You loved Tsukki. Adored him.
But did he love you back?
Recently, it was almost as if he was avoiding you. He barely gave you any eye contact, wouldn't even walk close to you, and most of all...he stopped saying ‘I love you’.
It didn't concern or worry you at first, truthfully you thought he had just been in a bad mood. “He probably lost a game or something, I don't know.” You recall saying to one of your friends. Except, this weird behavior went on for weeks.
No phone calls. No ‘goodmorning’ or ‘goodnight’ texts. No kisses. No hugs. Nothing.
That’s when you started to really worry. Started questioning whether or not Tsukki loved you. People fall out of love...all the time. So you assumed that’s what happened to him. He fell out of love.
You hadn't.
You were still so fucking in love with him. Blindly in love, he was everything you ever wanted in a significant other. Sure he had some flaws, but that didn't quite matter to you. Tsukki was perfect.
Though what did not make any sense at all was if he fell out of love, why didn't he break up with you yet?
Today was the same. Tsukki avoided you in the hallways. He didn't text or call you at all. And he didn't even look at you once.
You just put on a happy face and continued on with your day, laughing with your friends, enjoying yourself.
Until you started walking to your next class, having to pass by Tsukki’s class.
“She’s clingy...always fucking stuck to me.”
You stop dead in your tracks, clingy?
His voice rings in your head, the sentence repeating over and over and over again. You hid behind the door, looking down at the ground and crossing your arms as you listened intently to the conversation.
Someone laughed, “Break up with her man, not worth being with a chick who won't give you space.”
Tsukki didn't respond.
Or maybe he did and you just ignored it.
You checked the time, only 2 minutes til the bell rings, 2 minutes. Was it worth it skipping today? At least one class wouldn’t hurt.
So you ran towards the nearest bathroom, clutching your chest as you stormed inside a stall and broke down. Tears streamed down your face, you choked on your breath while you covered your mouth, hoping your sobs wouldn't be as loud.
Clingy? Were you really...clingy? To him.
He thought you were clingy. He probably thought you were a bad girlfriend too. Probably.
You felt like you were a bad girlfriend. And you started to reflect on yourself, your personality around Tsukki, your attitude, humor, voice, everything. You questioned everything.
Were you good enough? Good enough for Tsukishima? He could have any girl he wanted, and he chose you. But did he choose wrong?
There were much better girls than you, you knew that. Everywhere you went with Tsukki you caught girls ogling at your boyfriend. Whispering to their friends and what not. Never paying attention to the girl who was hugging his arm. The girl who was giving heart eyes to the guy who had loved her.
The girl who was you.
Maybe Tsukki would like you better if you were different perhaps.
Better. A better girlfriend.
His perfect girlfriend.
“Yamaguchi?” You spoke into your phone, cuddled up with all your stuffed animals and blankets.
“Uh- oh hi, what’s going on? What did Tsukki do?” Yamaguchi asked.
You let out a soft chuckle, “Nothing,” that was a lie, “I just wanted to ask you a question.”
“Yeah, go ahead.”
“And you have to promise not to like, question my question, if that makes sense.” The bright light of your computer screen lit up your face, you had different tabs open with multiple online shops, ready to order anything if you needed to.
“Right. What’s your question?” He sounded curious, well he was. Yamaguchi rarely spoke to you, maybe a simple ‘hello’ and a wave, but that was it.
You cleared your throat, hesitating before asking your question. “Has Tsukishima ever told you what his perfect...or ideal I guess, girlfriend would be like?”
A few seconds of silence passed before Yamaguchi finally responded, “I-I mean he has, but it’s basically the description of you.”
You rolled your eyes, “I’m not quite sure I believe you but alright, but do you mind explaining to me what he said? Like how he described his ideal girlfriend?”
“Oh, yeah sure.” Yamaguchi held the phone closer to his ear, thinking back to the time when him and Tsukki had a conversation about their dream girls. “Um, well he didn't say much about looks. He said he doesn't quite care, but personality was important.”
You shut your laptop and ran to grab a piece of paper and a pen.
“Okay, well he told me they have to have some sort of humor. And they have to have a pretty laugh, like a giggle, but nothing too obnoxious. They have to sit up straight, good posture was important. And um...they couldn't be too clingy, they had to give him time and space sometimes. Oh! They had to be supportive of his volleyball,”
That was something you already did, but the rest of what Yamaguchi had said, that was nothing like you. At all.
“Right, keep going,”
The rest of the night you spent talking to Yamaguchi, indulging his lengthy conversations about Tsukki and how picky that boy was. Soon, you fell asleep, preparing yourself for the morning.
Perfect girlfriend. His perfect girlfriend.
You were embodying the description of his ideal girlfriend today, straight posture, soft giggles, flirtatious but not too overwhelming, and so much more shit.
It was different than how you normally acted, even your friends had noticed. They also must've been suspicious or worried because apparently they had told Tsukishima and asked him if there was anything wrong with you today.
Thankfully though, this got him to speak to you.
“Hey,” you heard him from behind you, a few feet away but close. “Can we talk for a moment?”
You kept your mouth closed, looking up at him for a second and nodding then looking back down at your shoes.
Tsukki furrowed his eyebrows together, you were never quiet. “I was just wondering how you feel today, you sick or have a cold or something? Or did something happen…?”
Of course something happened you dumbass.
Still, you kept your mouth shut. Even if you wanted to shout at him. You glanced up at him and shook your head.
“Why aren’t you talking?”
You shrugged.
This made Tsukki a bit irritated, what happened to you being all blunt and upfront? Why had you become so distant?
Can a person really change that much after only a few weeks of not talking to them?
“You want me to walk you home?” He opened the doors for you and let you walk out, following your lead as you made your way onto the sidewalk.
“Um...sure.” Keeping the volume and tone of your voice quiet and simple, easy, simple thing. Hopefully he was liking you more. You were unsure of it though, he still seemed somewhat the same.
“Finally you speak,” he scoffed. He extended his arm out for you to hold, and when you didn't take it he got confused. Also a bit sad...but he would never admit that. “No arm hugging today?"
“No,” you gave him a soft smile, shoving your hands in your pockets.
“Fine, be like that then.”
Four minutes had gone by and they were spent in silence. The only prominent sound was the sound of the two of you walking, shoes dragging along the concrete.
Tsukki had noticed how tense you seemed, you stood straight up, and walked smoothly. Gracefully, careful not to make too much noise.
Your behavior was off, very off. He hated it. A lot. He didn't like the way you were acting, the fact that you seemed so different displeased him. Whatever happened to the girl he fell in love with? The girl he was still in love with.
He stopped walking and pulled you back, lifting your face to make you look at him.
“Okay, I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you but I don't like it at all so you need to tell me what the hell is going on.”
You were taken aback by his words, needing to take a few steps backwards. “Y-You don't...don't like it?”
He shook his head and groaned, “No, it’s fucking weird. Why are you so quiet, and shy, and weird.”
“Why didn't you hug my arm?”
“I didn't wanna seem um, clingy…?” You couldn't bear to look at him, he just seemed so disappointed.
Tsukki just laughed, “Clingy? You didn't wanna seem-” his furrowed his eyebrows together and squinted. “Wait what the fuck do you mean by clingy?”
“You don't like it when I’m clingy, and I didn't wanna bug you.” You bit your inner cheek, suddenly feeling sad. Even acting as his perfect girlfriend...he still didn't like you.
“When did I ever say that?”
“In your class, I overheard you talking to some of your friends.”
Tsukki’s eyes widened, but then he laughed. “And I’m assuming you thought I meant that as a bad thing?”
You were confused. Very confused. Wasn’t being called clingy bad?
“Well no, I was talking to my friends about you, telling them about you and shit. Told them how clingy you were, that you never left my side.” Tsukki caressed your cheek with his thumb, “Then one of them told me to break up with you because he couldn't stand clingy girls. So I punched him.”
He...he punched his friend? For telling him to break up with you?
Well what a plot twist.
“Yeah, his dumbass didn't realize I liked how clingy you were. I’d rather have a girlfriend who sticks with me than a girlfriend who doesn't hug and kiss all over me.” He chuckled.
“B-But what about the past few weeks? You barely spoke to me!” You shoved him back a bit, getting a little angry.
“Woah, calm down blossom, I didn’t talk to you because I didn't think you wanted to talk to me.” Tsukki explained, he lifted his hands up in defense.
“You ignored me, Tsukishima.”
“No, you ignored me.”
You rolled your eyes and pouted, mumbling a string of curse words under your breath.
“And she’s back! She’s acting back to normal!” Tsukki extended his arms out and pulled you to his chest, giving you a tight hug and squeeze, then kissing your forehead.
“I hate you,” you muttered. The side of your face was pressed into his sweater, “So fucking much.”
“And I love you too, sugar.”
“Fuck you.”
“Back to normal, my girl is back to normal."
“Whatever.” You shoved his side, “Don't ever ignore me again! Ever!”
“Don't ever act so weird, ever again. I love you just the way you are.” He smothered you in kisses before extending his right arm out and waiting for you to hug it. “You’re already the perfect girlfriend, don't know why you had to ask Yamaguchi for advice.”
What the fuck?!
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© all writings belongs to suhkusa 2020. do not repost or change.
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sapphicwhxre · 11 months ago
prompts list (150)
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• fluff
“you look better in my clothes than i do.”
“i believe you.”
“is that my shirt?”
“can i play with your hair?”
“you can tell me anything.”
“isn’t the view beautiful?”
“my mother adores you.”
“they’re not you.”
“if you cry, i’ll cry ─ and that won’t be fun for anyone.”
“did you just kiss me?”
“i’ve dreamt about this.”
“is that a drawing of me?”
“i didn’t mean to say that but yeah, i love you.”
“of course i will.”
“wow, you’re photogenic.”
“i thought you'd never ask.”
“quick, kiss me!”
“you cancelled plans for me?”
“i’ve never seen anyone look so cute and ridiculous at the same time.”
“that is not what the instructions say.”
“you remembered?”
“stop looking at me like that!”
“has anyone told you that your eyes sparkle in the moonlight?”
“how mad would you be if i kissed you?”
“you’re hugging me too tight!”
“my lipgloss is all over your lips.”
“that’s the first time i’ve ever seen you smile.”
“you’re lucky you’re hot.”
“i didn’t know you could sing.”
“you weren’t supposed to hear that!”
“shut up before i kiss you.”
“you give me butterflies.”
“i can’t think around you.”
“i just wanted to make you laugh.”
“kiss me better.”
“why’d you stop?”
“you wrote me a song?”
“i’m not scared but if you are, you can hold my hand.”
“you ramble and it’s adorable.”
“are you blushing?”
“did i say that out loud?”
“hey, only i can call them that!”
“have you ever thought about how much worse our lives would be without each other?”
“i meant it when i said for better or for worse.”
“that’s the sixth time you’ve complimented me today.”
“nothing else matters except for you.”
“we could run away.”
“the world could be on fire and i’d still be happy as long as i'm with you.”
“they’re such an idiot. my idiot but still.”
“this isn’t adrenaline, i want to spend my life with you.”
• smut
“do you think of me when you touch yourself?”
“stop before someone sees!”
“do that again.”
“ten? i only need five.”
“on your knees.”
“enjoying the view?”
“that was the prettiest sound i’ve ever heard.”
“i didn’t think you were into that.”
“i trust you. do it.”
“next time we get into an argument, i’m reminding you that i took your virginity.”
“against the window? are you insane?”
“i’m going to ruin that pretty makeup.”
“now everyone’s going to know you’re mine.”
“i could do this all day.”
“louder, i want them to hear you.”
“you can finish if you beg.”
“do you want to come on my fingers or mouth?”
“you won’t be able to walk tomorrow when i’m through with you.”
“how funny do you think teasing is now?”
“after that little stunt? you’re not getting off that easy.”
“lay down and stay still.”
“are you doing that on purpose?”
“i didn’t like the way they were looking at you.”
“have they ever touched you like this?”
“i never noticed how beautiful filthy words could be.”
“were you masturbating?”
“my boyfriend/girlfriend would kill us.”
“keep quiet or someone’ll hear.”
“not so cocky now, are you?”
“is that new?”
“who gave you that?”
“are you jealous?”
“show me you’re mine.”
“i’ve been waiting all day to do this.”
“does that hurt?”
“lipstick’s a good look on you.”
“we should skinny dip.”
“as beautiful as you look, all i want to do is rip that dress off right now.”
“were you checking me out?”
“this isn’t what i had in mind when i yelled fuck you.”
“call me that again.”
“did i do that?”
“i’ll try it for you.”
“i think we just found a new kink.”
“i always hated spankings as a child.”
“leave the heels on.”
“i’d rather have your hands around my throat but the necklace will do.”
“what would people say if they knew you were such a slut for me?”
“shut up and pin me down.”
“i thought your laugh was the prettiest sound in the world. i was wrong, it's your moans.”
• angst
“do you love them?”
“you’re not sorry.”
“how did you find out?”
“don’t lie to me.”
“am i not important to you anymore?”
“i didn’t realise i was such an inconvenience.”
“do you think about them when you look at me?”
“how many times am i supposed to forgive you?”
“don’t raise your fucking voice at me.”
“i trusted you.”
“are you ashamed of me?”
“it was open and i read it.”
“i can’t deal with you right now.”
“did you ever really love me?”
“i see the way you look at them.”
“if you can’t live without me, then die.”
“i don’t believe you.”
“all you had to do was stay.”
“i knew you were too good to be true.”
“i don't need help and i don’t need you either.”
“some things aren’t meant to be.”
“all my friends told me you’d break my heart.”
“we can’t afford to do this anymore.”
“you deserve better.”
“it’s not safe.”
“i wish i’d never met you.”
“i can’t look at you.”
“get out.”
“was it worth it?”
“how could you let them say that about me?”
“there’s just no pleasing you, is there?”
“why don’t you give a shit?”
“how many times are you going to look me in the eye and lie to me?”
“i can’t do this if you don't trust me.”
“find someone else then.”
“don’t touch me!”
“they were there. you weren’t.”
“i don’t want to spend another second with you!”
“is your image really more important than us?”
“you win.”
“this isn’t what i wanted to happen.”
“i’d take our relationship back in a heartbeat.”
“you two deserve each other.”
“can’t you listen for one second?”
“you’ll be happier without me.”
“if you loved me, you wouldn’t have done it.”
“don’t you try to explain yourself!”
“you can’t take back what you said.”
“i don’t see the same person i loved when i look at you anymore.”
“why didn’t you fight for us?”
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btssmutgalore · a month ago
Puddle of Love ‖ four
A trip to see Jungkook's mother brings you a lot closer to the guy you have nothing in common with. Maybe that's what makes your last party together turn sour.
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⤑ word count: 8k ⤑ genre: (a whole lot of) angst, mature topics, friends to lovers, rockstar!au, mentions of terminal illness ⤑ rating: 18+ ⤑ playlist
» Puddle of Love (rocker!jk) – one |  two | three | four
Kijung decided the guys did a great job and he let them have another ten days off since they were making more progress than expected. From what you understood, Jungkook was told to stay at the island while everyone else was free to leave, and a part of you felt happy that he’d be staying, even though it was selfish. It meant that you two would get to be alone in the villa again, spend the days together, go to the beach, walk around together, have meals together,and just exist without other people’s eyes on you.
Still, it meant that Jungkook still didn’t have Kijung’s confidence and that he wasn’t allowed to go see his friends or family. Instead, he was stuck here. Despite everything, he didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he seemed to be happy with Kijung’s decision too.
That’s how you found yourself in the pavilion the night after they all left for London for their connecting flights to their country of choice. Jungkook wasn’t in a great mood, probably because he still wasn’t allowed to leave, but even the silence was enjoyable when you two were together next to each other. You’d noticed that somewhere along the way, someone had brought the two loungers closer together, the two that you two would always use, and they were now so close that you were almost lying next to each other. Neither one of you mentioned the change since you didn’t seem to mind it.
It was a windy night, and the sounds of waves crashing against the beach were all you could hear until Jungkook decided to speak. You’d learned that he appreciated silence sometimes and that he would speak when he was ready.
“What if one day you're just alone in the world?” Jungkook asked out of the blue, clearly pondering the meaning of life or something equally unexpected. “Like, you wake up and there's no one.”
“I… I don't know,” you responded immediately, not really sure what he meant by this. What would you do? “That is such a scary thought, I can’t even tell you what I’d do. Why do you ask?”
“I think that's how I'll feel when my mother dies,” Jungkook said matter-of-factly even though the thoughts was deeply disturbing.
“What?” The word left your mouth before you could even think about his response, but the train of thought was confusing you.
“My mother has cancer,” Jungkook’s voice didn’t give off any emotion, but his face did, and you couldn’t look away from it. If he was trying to hide how much this hurt, he failed.
“I didn’t know about that, I am very sorry to hear it,” you said, wanting to reach out and touch his hand, like that would mean anything. You’d never touched him that way before, ever, only when you danced, but it was a different setting. This was a boundary that neither one of you had crossed. “How is… How is she doing?”
“It's okay,” he sighed and glanced your way, as if he was trying to get you to see that he was okay when he was clearly not. He then looked at the sky again, the stars providing an appropriate excuse not to face you. “You should see how nonchalant she is when she talks about it. You’d never guess it. She’s holding up, I guess.”
The only mention of his mother was when he told you what his mom thought about meeting someone who was right for him. You didn’t know if they were close or not, but it was something he didn’t mention a lot, and you now knew why. “Is that what's hurting you? It’s not just replacing Kyubok. You’re afraid of this, too.”
“Maybe this is small town thinking, but I think your family are the only real friends you have. I don’t know if you’ve lost some friends along the way, but I think we all do. You think this person cares about you, but they’d throw you under the bus for the right price, there’s always some hidden interests there, people always put themselves first. But family… They're the only ones who have your best interest at heart. They’re not out there giving advice that could hurt you, just so they could get something out of it,” he explained, speaking about it as passionately as he did about music, bringing his whole body into it, getting upset. “And to lose someone like that who means so much is just… The equivalent of being all alone in the world.”
“I’m very sorry, Jungkook,” you told him, finally finding some courage to reach out and place your palm over his. At that moment, it didn’t feel like you were being inappropriate. It wasn’t about you two anymore, it’s about him needing a friend. “I hope you won’t lose your mom.”
“I hope so too,” he said, flipping his palm so that he could intertwine his fingers with yours. And so you stayed like that, hand in hand, for a long time, so long that you almost fell asleep, lulled by the sounds of the waves against the beach, the wind rustling in the trees around you, and the warmth of his hand against yours.
You suddenly wondered how Jungkook felt about being stuck here when he could be spending this time with his mother. He was clearly losing her, otherwise he wouldn’t be worrying about being left alone in the world, which was a terrifying thought.
“Is Kijung not letting you go see her?” You asked, fearing his answer. If Kijung really did that, you’d have no choice but get involved. Nobody could be that cruel. Yeah, Puddle of Love were important, sure, but wasn’t this more important than anything to Jungkook?
“Kijung told me not to leave,” Jungkook sighed, clenching your hand for a second.
“I think those instructions were set to stop you from repeating Berlin. Seeing your mom isn’t that,” you said, hoping you weren’t crossing any boundaries here. It seemed like he was suffering over this—who wouldn’t be? If this could help him feel better, why not try?
“Honestly, I think it's an excuse,” Jungkook admitted, turning his head to face you, making you realize just how close you were to him then. You felt the urge to reach and cup his face, hold him, tell him it would be okay but you couldn’t do that. You’d already told him you couldn’t cross that line with him and he respected your decision—now you just had to respect it too. He didn’t touch you, hug you, kiss you, or do anything similar even though he wanted to, he’s told you that much himself.
“Why an excuse?”
“On my end, I mean,” he looked away with a sigh. “I didn’t exactly tell them about the whole situation. I didn’t tell anyone.”
“Oh... I understand… Is there a reason why you don’t want to tell them? Because I’m sure they’d let you go home.”
“I think I don't want to see her disappearing right in front of me. The last time I saw her, she’d already changed so much. I’m afraid to see her now. It becomes real when I do.”
He didn’t manage to hide the pain in his voice and he didn’t have to, not around you, at least. You couldn’t imagine how he felt and you couldn’t do much for him, other than listen.
“Jungkook, I don't want to say this but I have to... You should go see her if you don't think there's time left. You'll be sorry if you don't,” you looked at him, waiting for him to look back, which he did soon after, his eyes welling with tears.
“I can't think about this,” he said, a tear escaping his eye, his hand flying up to wipe it with the sleeve of his shirt, the heavy breaths serving as a clear sign of him trying to hold it together. “I can't see a skeleton that used to be my mom.”
You weren’t sure what to say to that because you were in no place to give advice on that. What would you do if you were him? Did that even matter?
Jungkook sobbed and you could tell he was trying to fight the tears as hard as he could, but this was clearly something he rarely spoke about and once he said it to another person, it became a lot more real. You understood how the things that hurt you the most hurt even more when you speak about them.
You hoped he didn’t feel like he had to hold it in because of you, so you spread your arms out as a sign that it was okay if he wanted to lean in for a hug, that it was okay to cry, and he did exactly that—leaned in, rested his head against your chest and cried. You wrapped your arms around him, bringing one up to pet his head and rocked gently from side to side, letting him cry all he wanted.
After all, there was no one there but you and the staff, who had already gone to bed and didn’t care about the two of you out in the pavilion. You weren’t sure how long you stayed there, but every tear of his hurt you like it was something that was happening to you personally. You hated to see someone who was so ecstatic and full of life break down in tears like this, be in so much pain over something he would never be able to change.
It was a normal part of life, death and the pain that came with it, but you hated it, and you knew he did too. There was nothing you could say to make it better, so you held him close and let him cry it out, caressing his hair, hoping it brought him at least some comfort.
“I have to go see her,” he mumbled into your chest, showing no signs of moving away from you, even though the tears had stopped. “You’re right.”
“I think you can go whenever you need to, Kijung wouldn’t mind,” you explained and he pulled away, wiping his face with his sleeves, refusing to look at you at first.
“I think so too,” he nodded, looking down at his thighs, looking like a child with puffy eyes, wet cheeks, quivering lips. You wanted to help so much, but you knew you couldn’t.
“Please, come with me,” he asked, finally looking at you. His eyes were no longer empty, they now looked full of pain, bloodshot and tired. “I feel like shit. And I'll surely use, I’ll want to feel better.”
That’s how you found yourself in his mother’s living room, sitting down on the couch next to Jungkook while she rested on the sofa across from you two, the staff he hired to help her bringing you all some tea and cookies.
“I would have made the tea myself and served it to you, but I’ve been feeling a bit under the weather,” she explained with a smile and nodded at you. Jungkook was right—you’d never tell she was battling something so scary and dangerous. She seemed small and fragile, but other than that, there didn’t seem to be anything wrong with her. “So happy to have you here. I’m sure it was you who told Jungkook to come. I’ve been wanting to see him for a long time but he always had an excuse.”
“Ah, madam, no, he… Uh, Jungkook,” you shot him a glance just to find him grinning because it was just like he told you it would be. “He said he wanted to come see you and since we’re stuck together making music, he wanted me to come meet you too. He said we’d get along.”
“I see why he would think that,” she smiled over the cup of tea and took a small sip. She had held him in her arms for what seemed like hours once he walked through the door, unannounced. You couldn’t remember the last time you saw someone so genuinely happy like the two of them were to finally see each other.
You felt like an intruder for a second, but it wasn’t a bad feeling since you got to see what Jungkook was actually like, without all the fakeness that came with the image.
His mom went through all the standard questions of how he was eating, sleeping, how his friends were doing, what he was up to, was he taking care of himself, and she asked to be introduced to you.
She pulled you in for a warm hug, and you understood what Jungkook meant when he said she was warm—that was exactly how you’d describe her personality. Nobody could ever feel unwanted around her, just her smile was enough to reassure anyone.
“So, you two have been friends for a long time?”
“No, mom,” Jungkook shook his head at her and then glanced your way. “We started working on music together this summer. You know I got sent to the island to calm down a bit…”
His mother decided to ignore the last remark, having stated earlier that it was time for him to get his act together if he wanted to be taken seriously. Jungkook clearly appreciated honesty because he was used to getting it at home. “It seems like you know each other well,” she said, cocking an eyebrow up and inspecting both of you one by one, causing you both to squirm.
“We spend a lot of time together, writing,” Jungkook explained, clearing his throat. “You get to know people that way since you have to share your lyrics with them. Besides, we’re the only people there, so we see each other every day.”
“Oh, that sounds wonderful!” She exclaimed, now looking at you. “I like your music. His, not so much. Always bringing up women, alcohol, and all the things that, frankly, no mature person even cares about.”
“Well, women can hurt you, you have every right to write about them,” Jungkook explained, leaning back into the couch, seemingly relaxing. You loved the dynamic of their relationship and it also helped you understand him a bit better.
Their communication was direct, so it was no wonder he expected the same from everyone else. After all, he was always frank with others, too.
“And which women hurt you? Please,” his mom almost rolled her eyes at him, but her words just made both of you chuckle, for different reasons, you presumed. “Don't talk in front of this lady like that, you might put her off and I know it’s the last thing in the world you want to do. Always putting on this front!”
You found it funny that she worried so much about the impression he would make on you. “Don't worry, madam, it's all good,” you smiled at her warmly, hoping she knew it was okay and you didn’t take it seriously.
“There’s nothing to worry about,” Jungkook said, now looking at you from the side, but you were looking at his mom, not wanting to offend her by staring at her son. He used your real name when he introduced you two and he used it again now, making your heart skip a beat. “She… I’ve managed not to put her off. Actually, she knows that I’m ready to clean up my act for her. She doesn’t want that yet, but when she does, she will let me know. Someday, I’ll be a normal guy, trustworthy, reliable, and maybe she’ll be ready then.”
His words took you aback so much that you had to turn your head to the side to face him. You knew that he felt something for you, clearly, and you told him how you felt about him, but that’s where you left things off. It couldn’t work and you wouldn’t try. That’s why hearing him say this out loud to the person that meant the most to him was so surprising. You didn’t know he felt all of this. Surprise was written all over your face, but he smiled at you warmly, like he always did.
“Now, that sounds lovely, but why don’t you start working on it now?” His mother suggested, making you both turn to face her. “There might not be a someday, or when it comes, it might be too late,” she looked at Jungkook knowingly and it seemed like she was waiting for him to say something, but he wasn’t going to since he was taking her words in. “If you know what you want, work for it while you have the chance.”
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
After the one-day trip you took to the hometown to see his mother, you went back to the island. Kijung told you he’d appreciate it if you came back with Jungkook, just because he felt Jungkook was doing a lot better when he wasn’t on his own. Even if he hadn’t asked, you would have come back with him just because you’d be afraid he’d get sad and lonely after spending time with his mother.
You didn’t know her before, so you weren’t sure what she looked like before she got sick, but she did seem really thin now and she got tired easily. Her mind was all there and she could walk, though slowly, and barely make it from the door to the chair before getting tired, but it was something.
Still, you understood why Jungkook would feel terrible after visiting her. Life was feeble and seeing your loved ones sick just served as proof of that. He seemed to be holding up well, though.
He didn’t say much on your way back or during the afternoon, but he joined you at the pavilion and played some music for you. Neither one of you said much, but for the first time in a long time, you didn’t feel lonely. It felt just right to be next to someone, enjoying the moment with them without worrying about anything else.
You’d never felt that way with someone before and it scared you—mostly because it was Jungkook who made you feel that way, the charming, lovable Jungkook who remembered how you liked your coffee and pancakes, who’d bring his leather jacket on a walk, knowing you’d stay out too long and get cold, who’d go running into the waves with you fully clothed, laughing and enjoying life like you were two children without a worry in the world.
You couldn’t think of him as that person you saw only in articles, the person who was always talked about as an addict, a guy with a drinking problem, a guy who was always seen with different girls, a guy with a big mouth who got the entire band into trouble, a problematic kid who refused to grow up. You didn’t see any of that in him anymore, not after spending so much time with him and him alone, after getting to hear what kind of a person was hiding behind all of that.
Everyone had a fake persona, so did you, and you were sure people who got to know you better were surprised that you weren’t the same person your company wanted you to be. You had issues too. You avoided getting close to people, you feared losing them. You ran from any kind of feeling or commitment, using your career as an excuse.
After all, you chose to spend your summer at the villa instead of your hometown, where you could be with your friends and family, where you could date and have fun, rekindle an old romance or just live life. People who listened to your music surely didn’t think of you as that kind of a person, let alone one that could fall in love with Jeon Jungkook without ever touching him.
Not long after, the rest of Puddle of Love joined you again, and later on, so did Red Peaches. Jungkook and you spoke often, and spent time alone whenever you could without talking about it in front of the others. It was like a secret that you were trying to keep, afraid of it getting ruined if you let anyone else in.
Andre knew, though.
He knew you well by now and he expressed his worry on numerous occasions, trying to make you understand that Jungkook was a guy who wanted to have fun, and fun only, but you didn’t want to discuss it—you knew that he wouldn't make a move. You talked about it and decided it was for the best if nothing happened, yet your heart skipped a beat when you’d touch each other in passing, or when his fingers would brush against yours.
Once, you two had some wine in the pavilion, listened to music, and held hands. You weren’t sure how it happened, but you were lying on the loungers and the topic was a sensitive one and you spoke about your friend back home, and Jungkook held your hand, making you feel safe and heard.
Another time, during the day, you played cards on the beach, and Jungkook moved a lock of your hair behind your ear and both of you froze when he touched you like that—if he’d made a move then, you would have given in. It was excruciating to look at him and want him that much, but not be able to act on it, knowing it would amount to nothing in the end, knowing one of you would leave the villa sooner or later and that real life was waiting for you out there.
The guys decided it would be a good idea to throw a party to celebrate not only the fact that both of you now had almost complete albums ready, but that things seemed to be looking up for you. Kijung had done wonders for their image, and so did the fact that Jungkook wasn’t seen in public at all and some of the other guys did some charity work while on vacation. They recorded a cover of Toto’s Hold the Line and won over everyone who listened to it, and some of them posted content on their joint Instagram account.
Jungkook had made two posts in total over the course of the summer—a picture of the night sky taken with a professional camera, a view of what you watched together almost every night in awe, and a couple of lines from a Bukowski poem, which got even more women to absolutely adore him.
“ that drunken place
you would
like to hand your heart to her
and say
touch it
but then
give it back.”
A part of you wanted to think that was dedicated to you in some way, but you could never be sure with him. It was strange to think that this guy who was known as a serial player was the same guy you spent most of your days with, the guy who told you he wanted to be with you, but that he knew you were too good for him, the guy who didn’t want to taint what you have by making a move on you.
You were now involved with Jungkook in some weird way—it was completely platonic, but strangely, more real than anything you’ve taken part in before.
There were some new faces at the party since Kijung and Andre were in a good mood and let you all invite some people. You invited Hoseok and his girlfriend, which wasn’t a smart choice because they’d gotten lost before you had your third drink. Jungkook was surrounded by his friends and some girls most of the night, but you caught him glancing your way whenever you’d look in his direction.
That night, he reminded you so much of the playboy you were used to seeing in the news after a concert, mostly because he’d done his hair that way, leaving it curly, covering the left side of his face, while showing off the undercut on the right. He was wearing leather again and light skinny jeans that hugged his body perfectly, letting everyone see his muscular thighs whenever he moved. His t-shirt wasn’t tight at all, yet you could tell his body was chiseled.
He had a cigarette in his mouth and talked to Taehyung about something without lighting it, and even though you hated cigarettes, you found it attractive. You found everything about him attractive, but most of all his vulnerability. Men scared you—they could be cruel, ruthless, intimidating, scary, but not him. Jungkook wasn’t afraid to talk about things that hurt and you rarely saw that.
You found yourself watching him from afar, unconsciously at first. People would come and go, talk to you about something and leave, but through it all, you kept your eyes on him, realizing that it would all be over soon. This man would have to leave and go back to his life, put on shows every couple of nights, have women throwing themselves at his feet, use alcohol and illegal substances to fill the voids he was running away from, over and over again, and you wouldn't be there to spend time with him, to hold hands with him and gaze at the stars, and he wouldn’t be there to make you feel like someone knows the real you.
Maybe that was it—you let each other see the real you while you put up a front for everyone else, not wanting others to sense weakness. Still, you had no issues with exposing your fears and having the other accept that without questioning any part of it. Now you’d have to get used to being without that.
All these depressing thoughts had you drinking a lot more than usual, and Jungkook seemed to be drinking more as well. Andre didn’t care about anyone else’s drinking habits, but he had his eye on you, and he came over to advise that you should quit drinking while you were ahead. He was right, surely, but you needed to drink until you forgot all about leaving the island soon—you couldn’t think of it anymore, you couldn’t dread it. You told him you were on vacation, you were way ahead of schedule, and just wanted to have fun. Of course, fun was the furthest thing away from what you were having, but you couldn’t tell him that. It would entail explaining why and how you stupidly fell for Jeon Jungkook and now had to suffer as a consequence.
Deciding that you needed to dance it off, you joined Jimin and some people you’d never met and danced like no one was watching, jumping around, screaming the lyrics, drinking whatever drink was handed to you, mixing drinks you’d never even think of mixing. You rarely acted like that, but did it even matter? Nobody here cared about you and they were acting far worse most of the time. It felt like you’d danced with almost everyone in the room, even though you didn’t know any of the guests that the bands invited. Did knowing someone even matter? Why couldn’t you dance with people and for at least a second forget who you were, what image you were trying to sell, and what feelings you were trying to bury?
Jimin was in the same mood as you—you noticed that you’d danced with him more than with everyone else combined, mostly because others took breaks and you and Jimin were constantly on the makeshift dance floor. You didn’t know that much about him—not more than the rest of his band mates—but you didn’t feel weird dancing with him. He was full of energy and he knew how to make his dancing partner feel like the center of attention.
“It’s you again!” He’d jump up whenever he’d run—or dance—into you on the floor and grab your hands to start dancing. At a certain point, you two tried to think of the dumbest dance moves you knew an you had a really idiotic dance-off with the other one screaming with laughter while one performed.
You two screamed the lyrics at each other and jumped around, spilling the drinks that somehow got in your hands and then laughed about it. Some strangers kept bringing you new drinks, one time even Taehyung brought two over, so even if you spilled one, you’d soon have a replacement one. Still, it felt like more drinks ended up on the floor than in you, which was probably a good thing.
“You spilled it all over your shirt,” Jimin leaned in to whisper and then laughed, as if he said something funny.
“So did you,” you told him, which made him laugh even more, so much so that he leaned in, rested his head against your shoulder, and laughed hysterically.
“Should I take it off?” He suggested, unbuttoning the first button of his shirt. “Wait! What do you think, how many buttons will it take for Andre to come here and beat my ass?”
Now, that idea was hysterical to you, mostly because you could easily see it happen. If Andre thought Jungkook was a bad influence, he’d think Jimin was an even bigger threat, mostly because he had a lot more experience than Jungkook. In your eyes, he was also a bigger danger than Jungkook—Jungkook never made any kind of move and he seemed to respect the thing you two had far too much to do that. Jimin, on the other hand, didn’t care at all. Of course, you didn’t even think he was hitting on you—he was just a drunk guy dancing and having fun.
“I don’t want to support public nudity, but…” You let your voice wander off and chuckled. “If you want to test it, we might find out. I say three, Andre is extra cautious!”
Jimin kicked his head back and laughed. When he calmed down a bit, his face suddenly turned completely serious and he stopped smiling altogether. In a second, you saw why.
Out of nowhere, Jungkook appeared right in between the two of you. He did so without a word, which made you both stop jumping. Sober Jungkook was such a vibe killer when you were drunk and you told him that. You didn’t notice when, but Jimin walked away, so it was just the two of you in the middle of the dance floor. You thought you’d get an Andre-style lesson from him, but Jungkook cocked his head to the side and just grinned.
“You need to get some fresh air and chill,” he said firmly, but made it sound warm. “You might regret partying harder than the rest of us tomorrow.”
“I won’t regret a thing, Jeon Jungkook,” you said, lifting your chin higher and shaking your head. For some reason, you felt upset with him, upset that he would continue with his life, that he’d be okay and you wouldn’t. “But I’ll walk outside if you insist.”
And walk out you did, with him right behind you, watching your every move. You stepped out, feeling chilly as soon as you got away from the warm living room, the people, the music, the alcohol. Jungkook took off his jacket and threw it over your shoulders, his scent engulfing you instantly. It made you take a deep breath to feel more of it.
“This smells just like you,” you said, making him laugh.
“Makes sense considering it was just on me,” he shook his head and placed a hand on your lower back as you made your way to the pavilion over the rocks in the garden. He acted like you could fall any minute, but you were far from that. You just wanted to forget, that’s it. “Are you okay?”
You didn’t say anything as he sat down on the lounger, which made him look at you questioningly. A part of you felt annoyed with him for asking—he knew you weren’t okay. He knew everything. In fact, he was the only one who understood.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” You said, sitting down on the lounger right next to him, instead of choosing the one opposite him like you usually would. Your choice of seating didn’t go unnoticed—his raised eyebrow told you as much. “Because you’re leaving soon?”
Jungkook chewed on his lower lip for a second and then glanced at you. “I thought it might be about that.”
“What?” You asked, sensing a lot of spite in your voice, but unable to hold it back.
“Your behavior,” he shrugged, lighting a cigarette, reading you like he knew you better than anyone else. “You do drink, but not as much as you did tonight. You dance, but not with strangers. You have fun and joke around, but not with Jimin. I thought something was up, guess now I know.”
“Maybe I just wanted to have some fun,” you told him, reaching out to take the cigarette from his hand. Jungkook’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but he let you take it and watched you intently as you brought it up to your mouth and took a long puff, feeling relief as it hit your lungs, which surprised him even more. He probably expected you to start choking and coughing, but he didn’t know you as well as he thought he did.
“What?” You shot him a spiteful glance. “I used to smoke before all of this. Thought it was cool. All the hot guys did it,” you said, chuckling as you remembered the times you spent going out with your friends, having fun, not worrying about a damn thing, assuming life would always be like that. “Stupid, I know. I stopped as soon as I got this deal. I didn’t even do it because I liked it, it was more of a peer pressure type of thing, except I was the one pressuring myself. Good thing I got out before they got into drugs, right?”
You laughed at that, but Jungkook didn’t. He just kept his eyes on you, his elbows resting on his knees, his head turned in your direction, carefully inspecting you, listening to you open up even more. Everything about him annoyed you—the fact that he looked so flawless while you looked like a drunken, sweaty mess, the way his locks fell over his eyes, the way he made that many piercings seem appealing when they were, in fact, ridiculous, and the way he looked at you like he cared about your well-being. You didn’t want him to care—it would be so much easier.
“Anyways… I’m not the good girl you think I am. Why wouldn’t I drink and dance and have fun with Jimin? I can do it with any guy out here, as long as he’s willing and single. What’s the fucking point anyway? It’s not like any of us can have a meaningful… anything while we do this for a living,” the words came out in a bitter tone, and you weren’t aware of just how bitter until you noticed Jungkook frowning at you. Tears were starting to prick your eyes, but not because you were sad. No, they were angry tears—you were mad at yourself for falling for Jungkook so fully, mad at the world for playing tricks on you, mad at him for having to leave soon. “What, you don’t like hearing that?”
“No,” he shook his head slowly, looking down at the floor, still facing you. “I just… If you want to have fun like that, you can just tell me. There’s no need to flirt with Jimin or any of the other guys if I’m here,” he said, staring right into your eyes and you knew exactly what he was suggesting. “Now, you can pretend you don’t like me, but I know. You can’t hide feelings for shit either, don’t think it’s just me. I think all of this is your way of dealing with this being over soon. Going back to the real world. Performing. Being strangers again.”
“Jungkook, if I did that with you… It wouldn’t be harmless fun for either one of us,” your voice almost failed you when you said that because the realization hit you hard. You weren’t sure why you were giving him this attitude when the way he was looking at you told you he was suffering, but keeping it together since it was clear you were wasted. He reached out to take the cigarette from you and his touch sent shivers down your hand—he felt so warm. “It would be… Feelings. And how would I just forget it? If it were any of them, I wouldn’t think about it twice tomorrow. But you… I already can’t stop.”
This was the closest you’d ever gotten to telling him how you felt, but there was something inside of you that assured you it wasn’t necessary to say it out loud, just like he didn’t need you to admit it—you just both knew, and that was the tragedy of it all. Jungkook took a smoke and returned the cigarette to you, exhaling in the other direction but quickly looking back at you.
“I don’t want feelings,” you spoke again, realizing he was either still processing what you’d said or just didn’t want to indulge your spitefulness, because that’s exactly what it was—you were saying things to spite him because you were the one who was hurt. You threw the cigarette on the floor and stepped on it, putting it out. “I don’t want you to tell me how you feel about me, you get it?”
Jungkook gulped and nodded, still keeping quiet and just watching your erratic behavior. You felt like you were losing it, unable to express how you truly felt, and realizing there was no point in any of it. Even if you told him everything, nothing could be done. He’d leave, you’d leave, and life would go on.
You got up and started walking away, but then you stopped dead in your tracks. What were you doing? Did you really want to leave a sad Jungkook sitting here all on his own when you two felt the same way? It didn’t seem like he deserved it.
You walked back to where he was still sitting, now in awe because of you standing right in front of him. Instead of speaking, you reached out and placed a hand on his cheek, enjoying the warmth and softness of his skin, the look in his eyes breaking you—so empty and sad, because of your words, you were sure. You were never so brave to touch him like that, even though you’d held hands before. This was different, intimate.
“I’m sorry,” Jungkook was the first to speak. “I know this is all because of me.”
“It’s not,” you told him, knowing it wasn’t anyone’s fault, it was just the way life works. “I mean, it is and it isn’t, but that’s not the point. I’m just sad tonight. All this time… We would sit here and stargaze and I felt like there was someone here with me. Understood. And today, tonight, now, I feel all alone again because I know you’ll leave, and I hate that I let this happen.”
“It happened on its own,” Jungkook tried to explain it, looking up at you, placing his hands on your waist, warming you up. The worst part about all of this was that Jungkook knew exactly what you were talking about, even though you weren’t making any sense. Why did he have to know you that well, why did he have to show it off? “I mean, what did you expect? What would you like, to spend that much time in a guy’s mind, go through every thought of his, pick it apart, hand it back to him neatly packaged and explained, making it finally make sense, and not have him fall for you? It doesn’t work like that, but it’s not your fault. I hate that you feel sad, though. I had a feeling you would. I kept watching you all night, and the more you drank, the worse I knew you felt. You know how?”
The grip his arms had on your hips now tightened, as if he was trying to keep you close and comfort you. “Because I felt like I was watching myself. You drink and act like a fool until you can’t think straight, and then you just stop thinking, but you wake up tomorrow and it’s all there, so the whole thing was all pointless. Just because you drank and danced with everyone won’t make you forget this. Even if you left with one of them, you wouldn’t be able to forget. It’s pointless.”
“Jungkook,” you cried out, feeling like you were about to start sobbing. He was the cause and the key to all your problems, but there was no real solution. You could have him whenever you wanted, but there was an expiry date attached to it, and once it was over, it would hurt forever and you’d have to write to get over him, but seeing him would make it much more difficult. “Stop saying it. I don’t want to know,” you shook your head and slowly eased yourself down until you were sitting on his leg, your hands on the sides of his neck, holding his head up. “The more I know, the worse it feels. If I leave with you, I will never, ever get over it. This is already hard to beat, all of it. I’ve learned that you don’t have to be naked in front of someone for them to know you intimately—you’ve never touched me and I feel like you know me better than I know myself sometimes, which is insane. We’ve known each other for a couple of months! That’s nothing. It’s not enough to know someone at all. You’re… you. I can’t know a guy like you, everyone keeps telling me that, but I feel like I do.”
Jungkook sighed, not taking his eyes off of you—your eyes, your cheeks, your mouth. He seemed sad, worried, down, and you wanted to hold him, but that was stupid and irrational, and so was the fact that you were sitting in his lap with your arms around him.
“That’s because it’s true,” Jungkook spoke slowly, resting his forehead against yours. “I’m everyone’s worst nightmare, even my own. I know Andre can’t stand the sight of me. And I can’t blame him. I’m the guy who did all that messed up stuff, who can’t control his urges, who wants it all and now, and doesn’t take no for an answer from life. I would understand you were disgusted by me. I was expecting you to, at some point, tell me you’d never sleep with me because of all the women I’ve fucked, because I’m shameless and not your type, but I’ve never even hoped you’d feel a tenth of what I’m feeling for you. I don’t think anyone’s ever had one real feeling towards me and I’ve been with so many people it would make a girl like you sick. None, and I mean none, knew the first thing about me,” he sighed, closing his eyes for a second.
“I’ve heard that I’m the best they’ve ever had a million times, which is so fucking funny to me because I’m sure they don’t even remember it the next day. Like you’ve said, being naked with someone means jack shit… You don’t have to know someone’s name to fuck them. You don’t have to feel a damn thing about them to get off. You both use each other to get what you want. But I don’t want to use you in any way. If you feel like it would hurt you more if I told you everything, I won’t say it, but you know it all already,” he gently squeezed your waist, lowering his voice, making your heart beat so loud you almost couldn’t hear him. Your head was buzzing, his scent was all around you, his body felt so firm and hot against yours, and you wanted nothing more than to feel him, so you leaned in and kissed him, as gently as you could, hoping the kiss would explain it a lot better than you ever could.
Jungkook’s body was tense ever since you sat down on his lap, but in that moment, he exhaled into the kiss and relaxed, hugging you, pulling you closer to him, even though your lips were barely pressing against his. His lips were soft, his breath warm and you decided to kiss him again, grazing your lips against his, feeling your breath hitch in your throat. Your fingers dug into his shoulders and he hummed quietly when you kissed him again, this time letting your lips linger and move against his slowly, gently, like it was the last time you were kissing anyone, mostly because you were scared that it would be.
How would you ever feel the need to look at someone else again? You were losing your mind completely, you fell head over heels for this man and this was the first time you’d kissed him, and you never wanted it to stop. If you could have stopped your life and stayed in one moment forever, that would be it—Jungkook and you on his lap, arms around each other, kissing, no hint of lust in the kiss, just longing, and pain, things left unsaid, fears about the future, dread that something like that would never happen again to either one of you again. This kind of thing rarely did.
“My God,” Jungkook said when you pulled away for a second, your lips parted, taking a good look at him as if you wanted this memory to stay with you forever, you wanted to remember every single detail of his face so it wouldn’t fade away. “I’m speechless.”
You nodded, understanding him completely. What was there to say? You wanted to keep kissing him, but you knew where that would lead and if you left with Jungkook, nobody would ever top that and you didn’t want to spend your entire life longing for a guy you couldn’t have. “I…,” your voice cracked and Jungkook looked up at you, caressing your back with his palm, trying to relax you. “We should go back inside.”
“Why?” He asked, his voice strong and loud in the otherwise quiet night.
“We can’t kiss anymore,” you sighed, trying to sound confident about it. “It… I won’t be able to stop. It’s making this harder for me.”
Jungkook nodded slowly, not trying to argue it. “I know. I don’t want to stop either.”
“Let’s go dance,” you said, getting up, suddenly feeling even colder and more alone than before, even though Jungkook was right there.
You started walking towards the villa, fighting the tears that were starting to sting in the corner of your eyes when Jungkook caught up with you, shoulder against shoulder, grabbing hold of your hand, comforting you with his touch. “You’re not alone. Not now, not ever. You call and I’m right here, whenever,” he spoke slowly as you walked over to the villa, trying to assure you that he would be there when you needed him, but you both knew it wouldn’t be like that.
You’d call and he’d be fucking someone, or he’d be high somewhere causing a ruckus, or he’d be drinking with his friends, trying to forget how he really felt. And your call would make it worse, just like his would to you.
All eyes were on you two when you walked back inside together, but people looked away fairly quickly. You two weren’t acting inappropriately or even touching, so there was nothing there to see.
Jungkook wrapped his arms around your waist and you let your head rest against his chest as you danced in slow circles, not paying attention to the people, music, or even the beat. Is this what Jungkook was talking about when he said he’d get his heart broken? Funny, because you now felt like yours was.
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
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bluecookies02 · a year ago
When they make you cry
pairings: Hawks x Reader, Dabi x Reader, Bakugou x Reader, Aizawa x Reader, Izuku x Reader, Tamaki x Reader
Tamaki, Bakugou and Hawks are in a female!reader perspective, the rest of them are Gender Neutral
warnings: angst to fluff
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Hawks will get cocky, laughing in your face when he sees your shocked expression.
Both of you were going at each others throats, spitting insults to one another, just your recent daily routine.
Now Hawks knew you were a tough gal, which in his head made it alright for him to strike a really painful nerve into your chest.
As you remained speechless he turned around, a winning smirk plastered on his lips.
Just as he took a few steps forward, sobs wrecked your body as you hid your face in your hands.
"I d-don't think I can take this anymore Keigo" your broken voice reached his ears.
A pang of guilt pierced his chest once he turned around to face you.
He did this. He made you cry. He completely drained your happiness out. He hurt you.
His teeth dug into his lip, his eyes stinging as tears picked at them.
At that point, he didn't give two shits about who's right and who's wrong, his arms reaching for you and wrapping themselves around your shaking form.
He held you there for a while, listening to your cries that gradually turned into soft sniffles against his chest.
"I-" He opens his mouth but his words remained stuck at his throat.
"I don't want us to end..." you mumbled, your own words throwing you into another sobbing fit.
"We won't end here kid, I've got you...shit...I'm a fucking idiot...of course we won't end sweetheart...c'mon look at me" he raised your chin up gently, looking into your red eyes.
"I'm sorry, fuck I'm sorry...not just for today, for every day before this, I-, God... don't leave kid, p-please"
You stared at his face, tears now streaming down his cheeks as his grip on you tightened.
You swallow the lump in your throat, grabbing his hands in yours.
"Something has to change Keigo...I miss you...we've been distant for months. Sometimes you don't even come home to me, do you know how that feels?"
"I know, I know, I swear... I miss you too. I'll tell you about everything I promise. Let's go home please."
You hesitantly nod, putting your heart on the line for the last time.
And now looking back, you're glad you did.
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//quirk: flesh manipulation (the reader can manipulate the molecules in a person's flesh just by touching it, making them useful mid-battle to make the other heroes ready to fight again in a matter of seconds, but also making them a threat to their enemies )
If there was one thing he despised about you, it was your guts.
Hell curse him for falling in love with someone so stubborn.
To live through a relationship with Dabi meant that you had to have though skin. You had to be strong enough to bite your cheeks and endure the issues that people in regular relationships never face.
He enters your home, covered in bruises and cuts, asking for your first aid kit.
You sigh to yourself, your usual nagging and yelling never reaching his ears.
You place the first aid kit onto your bedside table, turning your back to him, tiredly walking out of the room.
"Hey-" his voice calls out to you, quiet and confused.
You close the door behind you, making your way to your couch.
One of these days it'll be the last time he walks into your home, the last time you help him clean his cuts and the last time you hear his voice.
The weight of uncertainty pulls at your chest harder with every passing day.
He chose to continue living like this, he is the one that keeps ruining his own life, it's his ambitions that are making you this miserable.
Once he patches himself up, he sits on your bed for a while. Your silance meaning one thing and one thing only. You finally realized how pointless being with him is, you finally got it through your thick skull that he's nothing special to dwell about.
Time passes by quickly, a few hours already gone yet he's still glued to the same spot, not having the strength to leave your room, too scared to face your rejection once he gets out.
He should be happy for you, you won't be hurting anymore, you'll be able to find someone better.
He slowly twists the knob, taking slow steps through your living room.
You are laying on your couch, tear stains on your face and a tissue crumbled in your hand.
His chest tightenes at the sight. You cried yourself to sleep. He wonders... how many times did you cry over him? How many times would you just lay here as he carelessly roamed the streets?
He should leave...he should spare you the pain he brings. You were the only good thing in his life and by continuing this he'll ruin you, piece by piece.
You showed nothing but kindness to him, you made him realize that some people are worth getting close to, you being a hero also making his resolves shake under his feet.
He stretched his arm out to your cheek, careful not to wake you up.
He left a soft kiss to your temple before leaving your house.
You woke up to a persistent ring of your doorbell.
You felt terrible...your hair was a mess, your nose was all clogged up and your eyes burned from all the crying.
You opened your door with annoyance, mad at whoever decided to burst your sadness bubble.
"Hey doll, I would've let myself in but my hands are kinda busy"
Your boyfriend stood there with a backpack on his shoulder and a carton box in his hands.
" you happen to have a room to spare for a year or two...maybe three?"
You stare in disbelief your hand covering your mouth.
"I know that me being a villain might be a setback but...I got some hair dye? I might even consider letting you fix my jigsaw face."
Your body crashed into his, the box dropping to the ground as you squeezed your arms around him.
Maybe he can make you as happy as you make him.
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You knew he was rough around the edges, but you never even imagined that you would be the one his rage would be directed at.
As soon as insults came crashing your way you left the room.
You were just trying to calm him down, placing your hand on his shoulder as you urged him to stop shouting and just let it go.
His rough hands grabbed yours, throwing your hand away like you were a mere fly, his quirk burning your skin.
You tried calling out to him just for him to snap around and scream at you.
Once you reached your dorm tears freely rolled down your cheeks.
You yearned for a normal relationship, longed for some peace and quiet just for a week or two.
Yet you just couldn't let the blonde go, always hoping for some miracle to come your way and take ahold of his ego.
It's around 2 am and he can't fall asleep for the hell of it.
You're not picking up his calls nor answering his texts and you've been inactive on social media for hours.
Kirishima has been urging him to go to your dorm for two hours already, spamming him massages about him not being manly enough to win you back.
It's not like he doesn't want to, he just has no idea how to. Should he get you something? Get you some food and flowers? Where the fuck can he find all these things at 2 am? Isn't that how people in movies apologize or something...
He hates when you're mad at him, he is scared shitless of actually scaring you off and pushing you away.
A knock at your door snaps you out of your thoughts and a small flame of hope warms your heart for a split second as you make your way to your door.
He's holding a gray hoodie and a pair of bento boxes.
"That's not gonna fix it Katsuki."
"I know shitty woman you didn't even give me a chance to speak!"
You're sure that that's the first time Bakugou said the word "sorry" in his whole life.
The way it rolled off his tongue was shaky but somewhat determined, his hand grabbing ahold of yours gently.
Guilt was evident on his face as he stroked the bandages covering your hands.
"It's not that bad Katsu, and I understand that it was an accident." you mumbled trying to pull from his grip so he can focus on something else.
He grabbed ahold of your wrists, bringing your palms to his lips.
"I'll work on it, I promise. It'll never happen again. I mean it." you just give a soft nod, leading him to the table.
"Good. Now let's eat, breakfast is the most important meal of the day!" you cheered, opening the bentos and stuffing your mouth with rice.
"Y/'s 4 am."
"Exactly, now eat, you're not gonna let me eat all of this by myself?!"
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For this man, it was close to impossible to make his s/o cry.
He cherishes the relationship he has with you, making you feel special every single day at a time.
So when he sees you crying, he's confused and alarmed.
He reaches for you, trying his best to give you the comfort he thinks you need.
When you push his hands away and scream at him...Oh boy...
He's terrified.
Did he do something? Did he forget your anniversary? Your birthday? Did he eat your snack from the fridge??
You're pulling at the strands of your hair, your head buried into your knees as you sob.
He looks around, eyes widening when he sees a photo of himself and some girl kissing on the screen of your phone.
He wasn't there? He has proof! He was in a meeting! All of his colleagues could confirm that, he just needs you to listen! Please listen to him.
He's talking...blabbering...begging for you to just look at him.
As soon as you look up for a split second, he's hugging you, smothering your face in kisses as you weakly try to push him away.
Finally he leans his forehead against yours, letting out a long sigh of relief when he realizes that you're not crying anymore.
"Please Shouta, please, if you even have any respect for me, don't lie to me." you mumble out coldly, turning your head from him.
"Y/N, I would never, ever do that to you! Never! I love you so much, please, you have to know that, you do know that!"
You're too stubborn, but he calls all of his colleges one by one, putting them on speaker for you, asking about the time of the meeting or details of the meeting and they all have the same answer.
So now, your throat is dry and there's a lump in your throat, guilt eating at you as you try to apologize.
He couldn't give two shits about any of that, all he has to know is that you're okay and that you're still his.
He's not letting you go for the rest of the day, you're wrapped under the blankets with him as he makes sure you never believe the bullshit you see online.
"Sweetheart if I ever cheat on you, that's the day I cut my own dick off and bleed to death."
It makes you giggle and then laugh hysterically and he's just looking at you with the biggest heart eyes 🥺
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Izuku would never do anything to make you cry.
He pays attention to every single detail in your relationship and he especially pays attention to your feelings.
What he is really bad at, is taking care of himself.
He doesn't take in consideration how you feel when he comes home all stitched up and tired, or how he stays up late to train and push himself further than his body can take.
However one day, he is exhausted from his training and he barely has any strength left. His phone rings and he is rushing out the door, already panting.
You don't reach him in time to stop him, so here you are, hours later next to his hospital bed.
The villain wasn't too powerful, but his state caused him to pass out in the middle of the bettle field.
As soon as he wakes up, you're yelling at him, but at the same time sobbing against his chest.
"I can't just stand here and watch you hurt yourself Zuku... I can't, I can't, I can't....O-one of these days you're just gonna slip away from my hands, I can't. Please" You're grip on him softens as you loose the strength in your hands.
His arms wrap themselves around you, trying his best not to flinch as you rub against his bandages.
His eyes are watering, realization dawning on him as he holds your tired body against him.
You're right...He sees the state of himself after a lowlife villain with a pathetic quirk sent him into the hospital. He doesn't even want to think about what would've happened if there was someone much stronger out there.
"Hey Y/N...I-...I might take a week off, to rest yeah? Does that sound good?"
You nod, wiping away the tears as you sniffle.
"And you won't be training at night anymore. And you won't be staying up late!" you scold as he rubs your cheeks.
"I won't. I promise." he places a kiss at your temple, pulling you onto the hospital bed next to him.
"Let's sleep for a bit yeah? I might owe you a few hours..."
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You're crying, he's crying.
He's down on one knee and he's stuttering, his hands shaking as he hears you cry out a happy "Yes".
He barely gets the ring on your finger, burying his head into your neck as soon as he gets to his feet.
You always thought that he was going to propose to you at home, maybe some homecooked dinner with roses and candles. You didn't mind that option either.
You were surprised that he even suggested a walk in the park.
I mean, it was a really small park with little to no people in the area but it was beautiful nonetheless.
You're all giddy and happy as he takes your hand in his, his eyes always glancing at the ring on your finger.
Once you spot an ice cream stand you leap in happiness, rushing to get ice cream for the both of you.
The lady selling it smiles brightly at you.
"Is that the lucky guy?" you nod grabbing your icecream as Tamaki hides behind you.
"Good job sweetheart, you're making this lady very happy, I can feel it in my old bones" you laugh at her remark as you nudge Tamaki forward.
She hands him his ice cream and winks at him.
He's blushing and thanking the lady before running off to an empty bench.
”He’s a lil’ shy but he's got the spirit” you say to the lady as you rush off to get him.
You take the time to really study the ring, the beautiful blue crystal shining in the sun.
”I...I hope you l-like it...Nejire helped me out. Uhm I probably shouldn't have said that...S-she-"
"I like it Tama...I love it actually" you place a gentle kiss just at the corner of his lips, his hands grabbing your cheeks and kissing you deeply in return.
His cheeks are warm and his lips are slow against yours but you melt against him, letting him place you in his lap.
"Oh my God, I have a fiancé, oh my God, I have to call Mirio and tell him you said yes. You said yes, right?"
You laugh as you shake your head at him, playing with his hair as he fumbles with his phone.
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All of the pictures are from the original anime/manga (please do correct me if I'm wrong in the comments below)
The Tamaki one has no angst in it because I had to heal from all of the emotional rollercosters.
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Ko-Fi | Patreon 
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everafterkeiji · 3 months ago
What's up? I hope you are well :)
like the boys of Tokyo Revengers Would they react with a girl shorter than them? But have a strong personality ??
With Hakkai, Mikey and Chifuya 🙏😎
It's just that
Bye ~ 💋
im doing fine! I can't even imagine what I'd look like next to hakkai with my small ass self- but I'm happy to be beside chifuyu and mitsu( ˘ ³˘) anyway, thank you so much for requesting!! stay safe out there ♡
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PAIRINGS: Mikey x gn!reader, Hakkai x gn!reader, Chifuyu x gn!reader
GENRE/INCLUDES: fluff, teasing🙄
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♡ 𝐌𝐈𝐊𝐄𝐘- is not one to talk considering how short he is to begin with but it's a miracle that he finally gets to tower over someone else.
- It's his pride and joy to pick on you—adds to his nickname of how invincible he is now that he's taller than his lover.
- His arm would always rest on your shoulder, slung around it as you walk or you're just doing nothing.
- "Look, it's literally the perfect height for you to kiss me, so why aren't you kissing me?"
"Mikey, stop pouting already."
He uses this excuses for granted kisses, he thinks it's so smooth when in reality, it was just a standard thing. Even if you didn't give in to what he said, he's already pressing kisses to your forehead, loving how exact it was just for the perfect peck.
- You weren't even that short from him, this delinquent just loves to poke the fun out of you since everyone else around him were either beanpoles or just the average height that he didn't reach.
- HEAD PATS. He does it so frequent for no absolute reason. He doesn't even do it to spite you, it's just there. If his arm was on your shoulder, it'd soon travel to the crown of your head—it just happens so naturally but you didn't mind since he was a sneaky dimwit.
Tilting your head to meet with his, he just sends you a lazy smirk before kissing your lips as his hands go to your cheek. He then pulls away with a smile leaving you flustered at how he did it so effortlessly.
- Your shoulder is where he states to be the best pillow there is. You can't even count how many times he'd fallen asleep on your shoulder. After a good meal or just a few minutes since he woke up, if his head rests there for a couple seconds—he's already dozing off.
- He genuinely just finds it cute how you'd roll your eyes to him, ignoring him of his victory. He knows you don't settle for that type of treatment but being a little witty kid—he knows you love him too much to ever make him stop.
- Despite your height, your voice will always stand out in terms of defending yourself and for others. Mikey has always admired this trait of yours as well as your energy. It reminds him how lucky he is to have him call you his.
- He notices the way your determination is unmatched, alike your strive to be better in things you wanted to improve in. He sees the beam in your eyes whenever you got a good score with some recognition for your work which is what you truly deserved and having a lover who is as hardworking as you doubles his respect and loyalty to you. It also makes him want to be less lazy seeing that he barely attends school or finish what needed to be passed.
- Even if you were diligent in school work, you never forget to pay attention to him even if he doesn't show that he needs you. He wonders how you're able to read through him but when you approach him to lend him your ears for any of his problems, he's already leaning his head to your shoulder and began his stories.
Your dependability is what edges him to love you even more. Your attentiveness and care for him never fails to make him feel safe no matter what he's going through or the endless loop of his thoughts. In return, Mikey has his arms to welcome you in your own failures.
- Above all, he just has this smile on his face whenever you couldn't stand ignorance from strangers or just incredibly rude people. He doesn't need to insert himself in to diminish the problem, he knew you were capable of letting them know their place.
- YOUR PERSONAL HYPE MAN. After you just told off someone, Mikey just steps up to push their buttons more.
"Yeah, what they said. Eat shit-"
- When he sees how free you were from the negativity from of others and how your authenticity shines the best in who you are, falling in love has never been better for him.
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♡ 𝐇𝐀𝐊𝐊𝐀𝐈 doesn't like to look down on you but—y'know—this was different.
- He thought you were actually intimidated when you first him (you actually were, you just didn't tell him).
- He doesn't really like to make you feel insecure of your height so he tries to avoid crouching down so you wouldn't think he was teasing you. You weren't really conscious of your height but you admired how he didn't try to pester you about it (unlike the previous man).
- He genuinely thinks you are perfect. Whenever he embraces you from behind and sets his chin on the crown of your head, all of his thoughts seem to drift away, more so when you wrap his arms around your waist.
- He can't help but smile a little when you'd reach for something that was at the upper cabinet. Your attempts were semi entertaining to him until he decides to lend a hand to you, which you were patiently waiting for.
- This man whose height is at a whopping 183cm, loves lifting you. It just happens.
- Whenever he'd pass by just to surprise you, rest assured his arms are tight to your waist before lifting you off your feet and once he pulls away, he's just laughing at your reaction.
- Would be the time to lift you just to move you to the couch. He thinks its funny—easily holding onto you then the next second you're being dropped to the cushion like you were weightless. Handsdown, he would not admit he just loves to play with your reactions and tell you he just does it cause it was free transportation without using your own legs.
- FOREHEAD AND CHEEK KISSES. Lord, it's endless and wholesome. He just lands a kiss to your forehead, nonchalant about it as you wait for the stand in a store.
"What was that for?"
"..I just like kissing you, is that okay?"
- He just dips his head and there's already a pair of lips to your cheek. He doesn't even mind how flustered he was but it's just so—addicting for him. When you're studying or zoned out of your wits, he just relies on instinct as this point as he kisses you.
"Hakkai, babe c'mon. I'll never get this done."
"Was I distracting you?"
"..Not really— I like it a lot actually."
"Ok so I'm gonna keep doing it."
- Regardless of your height, what he loves more is who you truly are. There's that strength in your aura, the way you carry yourself and the way you never fail to stand up to any environment that treated you differently.
- He looks at you and just goes "there you are, the best of the best." When you stood up to those who disregard your efforts and work, he just slings his arm to your shoulder, loving the way you can handle yourself.
- When you're pouring your energy into something that you are doing, he doesn't hesitate to be there for you afterwards.
"Stop overworking yourself, love." He comforts you with a gentle kiss to your shoulder.
- Being in a relationship with the brother of Taiju and someone in Toman, it was hard not to be stared at. He usually doesn't care but when they'd stare at you, he could feel how you did the same. Smiling at him and just not wasting any time to pay attention to those heavy glares.
- Your strength sometimes envy him but when the time comes where he's put in a state of trouble again because of his brothers, you swore to remind him of how he should never think less of himself and by the end of the day, he's wrapped in your arms—his worries can disappear.
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♡ 𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐅𝐔𝐘𝐔 is another shortie but with you, he is utterly in love.
- Right of the bat, he hugs you all the goddamn time. Hugs from behind you where his arms just dangle from your shoulders or down to your waist while his head is on your shoulder.
- His level of teasing is at a minimum but you will get the standard "okay but I'm taller than you" card from him.
- I see him as the type to joke around on how you can't reach for specific stuff like that time where you tried to reach for his manga and you had to stand up on his bed to get it because it was the cabinet above his desk and your boyfriend just sits and stares with a smile.
"Babe, do not throw that manga to me—it's expensive."
- If the others were interested in forehead kisses, this boy loved to give shoulder kisses.
- He dozes off your shoulder a lot so when he wakes up, there's just a planted kiss to your tshirt right at the base of your shoulder. He also likes to peak behind your shoulder as if he was at the same height as you—it's so unnecessary but you just assumed he loved to be that intimate with you.
- Still, your height was incomparable to your personality. It was one of the main reasons he fell in love.
- He thought he looked like a fool when he started staring for a long time when you were doing a presentation to the class. Your intelligence has always caught his eye and something about your energy has always sparked his interest.
- In the way you present yourself, the way you walk without any worries of the words being said behind your back, he knew you were out of his league.
- Your self motivation and ability to see pass through the rough parts of a process will always make him proud.
- YOUR PERSONAL HYPE MAN (PART 2) Similar to Mikey's situation, he just walks away with a cocky smile knowing you won an argument and he sometimes joke how you'd be the one to protect him instead of the other way.
"You can't talk shit if you can't deal with Y/N."
"Chifuyu, please come here-"
"Coming, hun!—but seriously fuck off."
- He's astounded because of you. Every part of your personality he adored and a strong willed person like you will always have his respect and his love.
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kinanabinks · 7 months ago
Silent Girl + The Winter Soldier (BuckyxReader)
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Summary: After a traumatizing event, you aren’t the friendliest or most talkative of people. Bucky understands, and in turn becomes the one person you soften your hard exterior for.
Genre: Mostly soft fluff with minimal angst
Warning: Mention of heavy topics inc. cannibalism, torture + death of reader’s mother, symptoms similar to those of eating disorders. Slightly angsty but mostly fluff.
Steve Rogers found you on death's door at a time when you were ready to die. You weren't expecting or wanting his help, but it came anyway.
It was clear for him to see that you had been tortured beyond belief in the small HYDRA facility, a foul smell of flesh and blood filling the air. Not being the talkative type, and with no motivation to live, you let him untie you and drag you onto a jet where he administered some basic first aid to the best of his ability.
You were a fighter. He saw that the minute you met his eyes. Similarly to him, you had been injected with a serum that strengthened you beyond what was naturally possible, and he didn't hold back on admitting that you would have been a valuable addition to his team.
At first, you flat out refused. "No," Was the first word you ever said to him.
But while the medical team at the compound fixed you up, you realized there was no normal life for you to go back to. It would be harder for you to adjust to living among regular people than to embrace your differences and use your skills for the good of the world. You already worked for Nick Fury, anyway, so it wouldn't be too far off from what you were used to.
That didn't mean you'd do it with a smile, though.
"Welcome to the Avengers, Y/N, I'm Nat," The redhead greeted you with a warm smile and an outstretched hand.
Unable to reciprocate her friendliness, you just gave her a nod in response and let Steve tell her your name. You were the same with the others, giving a single stoic nod in reply to their polite welcomes, and you didn't miss the offended looks on most of their faces.
Among the unoffended was Bucky Barnes.
Instead of giving you his name and a smile, he nodded, knowing when words were needed and when they were not. 
You appreciated his lack of attempts to make you talk, as you sometimes noticed the others would try to sneakily gain your opinion while your mind was elsewhere as though it was a competition to see who could get Silent Girl to talk first.
The unofficial winner was Clint Barton.
"Y/N, you haven't had a single bite of food since you arrived," He complained one evening, making your blood run cold.
All the attention fell onto you, and you momentarily wished you had Wanda's magic so you could create a hole for yourself to fall into.
"Smoothies and vitamins aren't enough to sustain you," Clint continued, giving you a concerned look across the table, before an incredulous laugh left his mouth. "I mean, come on, aren't you hungry?"
He may have been the first to say it out loud, but you had noticed the lingering looks and whispers over the past three weeks. They were all thinking it, and you had reached your boiling point. With a cold gaze, you stood up, the atmosphere of the kitchen immediately dropping.
"HYDRA suspected that I was feeding Fury information so they tortured me to make me talk," You began, your voice unwavering. "When eight days passed and I still hadn't cracked, they upped the ante. They kidnapped my mother who had nothing to do with this life." Your chest ached at the memory of her. "I admitted that they were right in their suspicions but it wasn’t enough. They were pissed that I had betrayed them, so they cut her into pieces while she was still alive," You saw a few of them look down at your revelation. "And then my boss, Ansel Klein, took the pieces of her body and he cooked them, and he ate them, and he forced me to watch the whole thing. I can still smell her burning flesh with every breath I take." Your stomach churned while you spoke but you did well to keep your eyes free of any tears. "So no, Mr. Barton, I am not hungry."
The team stopped trying to get you to talk after that day. It made you wish you had said something sooner.
Things went relatively smoothly; you'd speak only when absolutely necessary (during missions and debriefs), and nobody asked for anything more. You made a mental note to yourself that Steve and Bucky were your favorites, as they were the most respectful of your personal space while simultaneously ensuring that you always felt like part of the team. You learnt through passing comments and overheard conversations that Bucky, too, had been a victim of HYDRA's torture, further establishing an unspoken connection between you.
Steve recognized your comfort around Bucky which was why he paired you for the mission that you had been waiting so long for.
"We've tracked Klein down," He told you, filling you with relief. You had spent months trying to find him with no results, and you could finally get your revenge. "He's staying at a small HYDRA facility. It should be light work for the two of you."
You and Bucky shared a nod and you were grateful that Steve knew, without you having to explicitly say it, that you wouldn't have wanted anyone else on that mission with you besides him.
"You take the West and North, I'll stick to East and South," Bucky's voice came through your earpiece.
"Got it," You replied, before making your way into the building. Steve was right; it was small, but you knew better than to underestimate HYDRA.
The guards were easy enough to take down, but as you got closer to the main lab, their weapons got more advanced. It took more effort to beat them, but your fire only burned stronger when you heard Klein's voice. Memories of his face, of your mother's flesh being chewed between his teeth, of her blood on his lips, all flashed through your mind.
In an instant, you were in kill mode. Nothing mattered except for ending the life of anyone who came into your sight. And die, they all did.
"Ah, you," Klein grinned as you stumbled into his lab, trying to ignore the pain shooting through your shin. "I should've killed you off when I had the chance."
"You should've," You agreed, slowly stalking further into the lab. Months of rage and vengeance coursed through your veins, and all you could see was red. "Because now, I am going to serve you with such pain, that you will forget what it feels like to be without it."
He smirked at your threat, before picking up a large, silver rifle which sat on the table beside him. "I gave you a lot of the things you have today, my warrior. Your strength. Your skill. Your unflinching fearlessness." He took a step closer to you, tilting his head. "But that silver tongue of yours... that was all your mother. And my, what a delicious woman she was."
Before his sentence was even complete, you had attacked him. The gun was ripped from his hands and slammed into his face, but before you could torture him to death, someone else entered behind you. Keeping Klein pinned to the wall with your hand around his throat, you turned your head to see Bucky. He was covered in blood with a concerned look on his face, making your jaw clench.
"Get out," You ordered lowly, not wanting him to see what you had planned for Klein.
"I said go!" You yelled before throwing Klein to the ground and striding over to Bucky. You raised your fist but he grabbed it before you could make contact, pissing you off even further. Kicking him back, you raised your fist again and punched him in the face, taking advantage of his shock and throwing him out of the room before slamming the door shut behind him.
"Very impressive," Klein commented smugly as you rushed over to him.
"You are scum," You spat in his face, dragging him up to his feet.
Just as you had been planning for months, you made his death as slow and painful as possible. His screams echoed around the lab as you cut and hacked and broke his skin, feeding into your need for revenge.
When he was finally dead, you left the lab and limped out to the corridor. A few dead bodies were scattered around and you found an empty hallway before the gravity of what just happened finally hit you.
You fell to your knees, unsure as to how you should have been feeling. Your goal had been achieved. You had avenged your mother.
Why, then, did you still feel so empty?
Warmth hit your cheeks and it took a while before you realized you were crying. Soft cries developed into heavy sobs, and the emotions you had spent so long silently carrying had finally fallen from your arms. Without the need for revenge, you now had nothing at all.
Arms wrapped around you and your instinct was to kill whoever they belonged to. You soon realized, with the coolness of the metal, that it was Bucky, and allowed yourself to melt into his hold.
"She's still gone," You said through sobs, your words almost incoherent. "It was my fault."
"No, it wasn't," Bucky assured you, stroking your hair. "You're okay, darlin'. I've got you."
It felt strange to be comforted, but you welcomed it anyway. You could regret it the next day when you'd probably hear him making a joke about it to the others, but for now it felt good to drop the mistrust and let him make you feel secure.
Once you were back on the Quinjet, you had calmed down and were beginning to feel some regret. "I'm sorry," You said to him halfway through the journey, making him frown from the pilot's seat.
"For what?" He asked.
"Hitting you," You answered with a small voice. "Throwing you out the lab."
Bucky gave you a small smile. "Don't worry about it. I'm a super soldier; it didn't even hurt."
"No, it was absolutely uncalled for," You insisted. "It was incredibly rude of me. You've been nothing but kind and welcoming since I arrived." Looking over at him, you managed to muster up a real smile. "You're a good man, Bucky."
It was the first time you had called him that instead of 'Sergeant Barnes'  like you'd usually do, but he made sure to hide his shock and pride at the fact that you were being friendly to him. "I've never heard you say so many words."
You let out a small laugh, and his eyes widened. He swallowed thickly at the sound, hoping his cheeks hadn't betrayed him by flushing pink. If the others witnessed this lighthearted exchange between two of the most serious Avengers, they'd think they were being pranked. Bucky knew he'd keep it to himself, though. The interactions you were willing to have with him were too precious to become basic fodder for gossip.
When you landed, he realized he didn't yet want to separate from you and lose his chances of hearing your laugh again. "Y/N, hold on," He called out while you were walking away from the jet, making you turn back.
You gave him a questioning look instead of speaking; still not used to engaging in conversation with anyone.
Bucky rushed to catch up to you, before speaking with a casual tone. "Would you like to, maybe, go for a walk?"
Surprisingly, his request didn't annoy you. You weren't rolling your eyes at an attempt to melt your ice heart. Instead, you released your inhibitions. "Actually... I'm hungry. Could we get some food?"
He tried his best not to let his shock show. His heart couldn't help but swell at your words, and he immediately agreed.
You sat on a picnic table in a park while he bought some food from a truck. Your standards for solid food weren't exactly the highest after almost half a year of barely eating any.
Bucky was incredibly careful with his selection. He was mindful not to get any meat in case it triggered bad memories for you, and ended up with an armful of food when he returned to the table. Sitting next to you, he placed the food at the side, allowing you to look it over.
"Garlic bread and nachos," You said out loud, before giving him a smile. "Good choice, Bucky."
God, did he love hearing his name coming from your mouth.
You took small bites and he kept a cautious eye on you, his arm ready at any given moment to throw the food halfway across the city if you showed an inkling of discomfort. It took some getting used to, but you managed to swallow it down with minimal issues, pleasantly surprised at how good it was. He had also bought you a coke, which almost killed you with how incredible it tasted.
"Holy fuck," You whispered, your eyes wide. "I have missed coke so much." It was much sweeter and silkier than the thick smoothies you had been living off of, and it felt amazing.
Bucky chuckled, delighted to see you enjoying yourself. You didn't eat much, but the fact that you had eaten at all was more than enough for him. Making your way back to the compound, you saw Steve waiting outside for you, his arms folded across his chest.
"Hey, Steve," Bucky greeted as you both approached him.
"Evening," Steve replied, looking between you both. "I was a little concerned when I saw an empty Quinjet. Where have you been?"
"The mission, as predicted, was intense," You informed him, your tone less light than the one you had adopted with Bucky. "I needed some air and Sergeant Barnes was polite enough to accompany me, seeing as I'm not very familiar with the city."
It was bittersweet for Bucky when you resorted back to professional mode. On one hand, he missed your smile and carefree voice, but on the other, it felt like those things were especially reserved for him.
With a stoic nod, you walked past Steve and into the compound, leaving the two men standing outside in the night breeze. Steve gave him a knowing look, a smile threatening to bloom at the corner of his lips. "You gonna give me any details, Bucky?"
A part of him wanted to. He felt like bragging that you had chosen him to be yourself around, to eat food with, to laugh at. But his respect for you outweighed his desire to impress his best friend. "No, I don't think I will."
Another day of minimal exchanges with the team passed. You trained silently with Natasha, offered Steve a simplified summary of the mission, and gave Tony half-hearted nods of approval when he detailed the mods he had planned for your suit.
You didn't see much of Bucky, who was understandably resting after the HYDRA bust. You knew he had his own qualms with the institution, and you respected his need to process his own triggered memories in privacy.
That evening, there was a knock at your door. There hadn't been a knock at your door since the first few days of your moving into the compound, so you were cautious when you made your way over to the door. Opening it a crack, you saw the shiny metal of Bucky's arm and almost immediately opened the door all the way. "Hi."
He was holding two plates of food, and smiling nervously. "Hi. I brought you dinner, in case you were hungry. A- are you?"
You weren't particularly; you had made a smoothie for lunch, but you couldn't pass up the opportunity to spend some time with Bucky.
"I am," You replied before allowing him to come him.
"I hope it tastes alright," He said while watching you take a bite of the pasta.
Your eyes widened, "You made this?"
He nodded proudly. "All by myself. Well, FRIDAY directed me."
"It's amazing," You told him. It wasn't the best bowl of spaghetti you had ever tasted, but now that you knew Bucky had made it himself, it seemed to have improved in a hundred ways. Not wanting to push yourself, you ate around half of the contents before sighing with content. "Thank you, Bucky."
"No problem," He replied truthfully. It made him incredibly happy to be watching you eat and smile and enjoy yourself, and it was worth the effort to make that happen.
With a smile, he took the bowls and left your room, leaving both your stomach and heart full.
You and Bucky fell into something of a routine after that night.
During the days, you'd hardly even look at one another, and you were still Silent Girl with a heart of ice to the others. If you really needed to speak to him in front of anyone else, it was 'Sergeant Barnes', and your face and tone remained emotionless. He was the same, which you both appreciated and were surprised at. Bucky had told nobody about the dinners you'd share and made no references to your conversations in public, and respected your wish to be nothing more than formal acquaintances in the presence of others. Even when he desperately wanted to point something out to you which linked to a topic you had spoken about the night before, he kept it to himself until you were alone.
One evening, he was a little earlier than usual. Fresh out the shower, you were standing in nothing but a towel when the familiar knock sounded out. You could tell he had used his metal hand.
"Hey, Bucky," You greeted him with a smile, missing the way his eyes scanned you up and down in surprise while your own gaze landed on the plate. "Fried chicken, huh?"
"Yep," He replied with a strained voice before averting his stare to the ground.
"Come in," You told him casually, leaving the door open while walking away.
Hesitantly, he did so, swallowing thickly as he sat on your bed as usual.
"I just need to get dressed, and then I'll join you," You told him, to which he nodded.
He was still staring at the ground when he heard the thud of your towel hitting the floor. He could have sworn his heart skipped a beat. When he realized you were stark naked just meters away, he had to clench his fists, trying to think of anything but your body.
You didn't think much of it. You saw that he was looking away in the reflection of the mirror, but you wouldn't have minded even if he did glance up at you. Having been part of a largely male team back when you were working undercover at HYDRA, you were used to getting dressed in front of men without there being any sexual context. If anything, you trusted Bucky more than you trusted any of those men, so it felt even less weird to be exposed to him.
Bucky, of course, felt the complete opposite. He was raised during a time when even a glance at a woman's calf was scandalous, and while he was aware that the times had changed, he refused to take something as precious as your privacy lightly.
Once you were dressed, you joined him on the bed. Meat was still a sensitive spot for you, but you made the effort for him. He made you want to improve, to be healthy. So you took a deep breath, reminded yourself that you could trust him and that food wasn't your enemy, and ate.
Halfway through, you smiled widely at him. It was the biggest smile he had seen on your face, and it made his heartbeat quicken. "What is it?" He asked with a whisper, as though he was afraid speaking any louder would break your grin.
"I like the way you eat," You admitted softly, taking him by surprise.
"You do?" Bucky asked, tilting his head.
Nodding, you put down the half-eating wing in your hand. "You close your eyes while taking a bite, and keep your eyes on your food while you chew. It's nice."
"Nice?" He repeated, making you sigh as you tried to find the right word.
"It's... it's pure?" You added, making him chuckle. Then, the word finally came to you. "Wholesome! It's wholesome."
"Right," He said with a drawl, unable to control the pink tinge on his cheeks. He was tempted to compliment the way you ate too, but was conscious of making things awkward or uncomfortable, so he kept his comments to himself.
And, like always, once you had both had your fill, he stood up and said goodnight before leaving with the plate. This time, though, he placed a quick kiss to your forehead. It left a warm spot when he pulled away, and you felt your heart jolt at his action.
He himself wasn't expecting it, either. It just felt natural, and he had the need to display his affection for you.
You couldn't sleep after that. How could you? Instead, you snuck down to the kitchen. You remembered a conversation between Bucky and Steve that you had eavesdropped on, during which Bucky spoke of his love for milkshakes.
Knock, knock, knock.
He opened his bedroom door and looked surprise to see you. "Y/N. Hi. Is everything alright?"
"I have a problem," You told him quietly, his face immediately filling with concern before you lifted up your hands in which two glasses sat. "I was making myself an ice cream milkshake, and I accidentally made two. I don't want the second one to go to waste, so... would you like one?"
"You accidentally made two," Bucky repeated curiously, a smirk pulling at his lips. "I would love a milkshake. But hey, you should come in so we can drink them together. Then I can tell you my opinion on it."
"That is very true," You said, playing along. He stepped aside, allowing you to walk into his bedroom before he closed the door. It was your first time in his room, but it felt so much like him that it wasn't unfamiliar at all.
"This is amazing," He told you with closed eyes as you both sipped the shakes on his bed.
"I missed ice cream so much," You admitted, letting out a sigh of content before you grabbed his arm. "Next time, I'll make chocolate ones."
Bucky smiled shyly, "Sounds good." He was trying to hide how excited he was at the prospect of there being a next time.
Without the other one knowing, you were each trying to make your milkshakes last as long as possible. When the inevitable happened and you both finished, you slowly got to your feet and prepared to take the empty glasses back to the kitchen.
"Wait," He called out just as you turned to the door. When you turned back, he was standing too, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's late; it might be unsafe."
You tilted your head, utterly confused. "Huh?"
"It's late," Bucky repeated, swallowing nervously. "You shouldn't be walking around the compound late at night... during crime's busiest hour."
Holding back your laughs, you narrowed your eyes. "I mean, this is a pretty secure building and I am a highly trained, super assassin-"
"But the ghosts, though," He added with raised eyebrows, holding up his hands. "There ain't nothing no serum can do against a ghost."
"Right. You're right," You said, biting the inside of your cheek to stop your smile from breaking out. "So, I should just..."
"Stay here," He finished your sentence quickly, an expectant look on his face.
"Stay here," You repeated with no emotion.
"Yeah, if you want to," Bucky confirmed, before shrugging. "Or, if you want, I could walk you to your room- but then I'd have to walk back alone, with the ghosts, and that would be terrifying."
"That would be pretty selfish of me," You said to him, putting the milkshake glasses onto his bedside table. "I'll stay."
"You'll stay?" He asked, almost surprised that you had agreed.
"Yeah," You settled, trying to ignore how fast your heart was beating.
That night, you both slept on your backs, terrified that you'd overstep some boundary by moving onto each other's side of the bed. But when you woke, your face was pressed to Bucky's chest, your arm resting on his torso, his wrapped around you in a tight hold. You pretended to be asleep when he woke up so that he didn't think you were weird for staying in that position for so long.
"You up?" He whispered, to which you stretched and yawned, as if you had only just opened your eyes.
"I am now," You told him with a smile, before moving out of his embrace. Neither of you addressed the fact that, at some point in the night, your bodies had tangled themselves together. "Thank you for letting me stay."
"You're welcome to, whenever you want," He promised, filling you with warmth.
With the excuse of needing a shower, you rushed out of his room, hoping he wasn't just putting on a friendly front because he pitied you.
At breakfast, you silently drank tea while the others conversed between themselves. Bucky hadn't yet arrived, and you were admittedly on edge because of his absence. Steve noticed that you seemed a little more off than usual and, realizing it was due to the lack of Bucky, he smiled to himself. Even though you treated Bucky like everybody else in public, there was an unspoken air between you that was undeniable. He'd sit a little closer than anyone else dared to. He offered you drinks at random points of the day. You'd say "No, thank you," instead of just shaking your head like you'd do to anyone else who bothered asking.
Sam had noticed it, too. More than once, Bucky had accidentally spoken about you as though he knew you.
" Oh yeah; that's that movie Y/N was talking about," Bucky mumbled to himself one day without even thinking. He was terrified once he realized what he had said, but Sam acted nonchalant despite his surprise.
"Y/N likes chocolate. I'll save the rest for her, " He said another time, causing Sam and Steve to share a knowing smirk.
You were better at hiding your blossoming friendship. It was almost scary how unemotional you could be right to Bucky's face in front of the others, but it only made him appreciate the secret nights even more. Despite how tall and seemingly impossible to climb your walls were, he had managed to tunnel through, and you happily let him.
When he did finally enter the kitchen, your shoulders visibly relaxed, which Steve had to hold back his grin at. Bucky was holding the two milkshake glasses you had left in his room, making you inwardly curse yourself for forgetting them there.
"Two glasses?" Natasha asked Bucky with a raised eyebrow, a sly smirk on her lips. "You have company last night, Barnes?"
Your heart raced beneath your chest. Fisting the hem of your shirt, you prayed he wouldn't expose you to the team. For some reason, you liked that Bucky was the only one who saw the softer side to you. He was the only one you trusted with it.
"Actually, Romanoff, I was extra thirsty so I made myself two milkshakes," Bucky countered with a pointed look, rinsing the glasses before putting them in the dishwasher. He then came around the breakfast bar to stand between you and Steve, making sure he was closer to Steve than he was to you.
You could tell that the others didn't believe him, but as long as they were imagining he spent the night with someone else who was definitely not you, it was fine.
"Y/N, Snowman," Tony began, once again stressing you out as he placed you and Bucky in the same sentence as though he knew you were in the same bed just hours before. "As you both weren't here earlier, you didn't hear about my birthday party- it's this Friday, so make sure you clean up nice and prepare to get drunk."
You nodded, as did Bucky, and Tony rolled his eyes at each of your lack of enthusiasm. Before he could, though, Steve had absentmindedly stretched his arm out on the counter and knocked over your half-cup of tea. Bucky immediately pulled your stool back to prevent the hot liquid from spilling on you, before he glared up at Steve who had an apologetic look in his wide doe eyes.
"Captain Steve America," You began with a stern tone, before giving him a smile to relax him. "You should watch where you rest those big arms of yours."
The others were utterly baffled at your words. Never before had more than three words left your mouth at a time, let alone fourteen of them with a smile, a joking tone and even a hint of flirtation.
"Wait," Bucky began, turning to you with narrow eyes. "What?"
"Did you say 'Steve America'?" Sam asked you, tilting his head.
You looked at the others who were equally shocked and humored, making your eyes widen. "What?"
Steve snorted and you immediately felt subconscious. This was why you didn't speak. It lessened your chances of being mocked.
"Do you think Steve's last name is... America?" Natasha asked you, a wickedly wide smile on her lips.
"I," You swallowed nervously, feeling hot under their stares. "Captain America... I just thought..."
Bucky almost placed his hand on the small of your back, but decided against it and instead just smiled down at you. "That's just his fancy stage-name."
Steve grinned at you and held his hand out. "My name is Steve Rogers. Pleasure to meet you."
You couldn't help but laugh at your own mistake, the sound filling the kitchen. Everyone besides Bucky was taken aback at the sight, wondering where this new lighthearted side of yours had come from. "Oh, my God," You said with a sigh. "I'm so dumb. Hi, Mr. Rogers." You shook Steve's outstretched hand anyway, still giggling at the situation with a blush on your cheeks. Bucky almost fainted.
Though you let yourself open up that morning, you were still closed off most of the time. It felt safer to be quiet, listening and observing while staying in your bubble.
He did well to hide it, but you could tell it was getting harder on Bucky to be 'Sergeant Barnes' who you hardly even looked at. You felt bad, and guilty for being one person in private and another in public.
So you decided to change that. At least a little. After the 'Steve America' fiasco, you realized it wasn't so scary to be part of conversations after all, and even in your silliest moments, nobody was ever that hard on you.
The day of Tony's party, you decided to put in some effort for once. You were used to skipping lunch, and everyone was used to your absence while they ate - which was why there was a slight silence when you strolled into the kitchen.
"Hey, Y/N," Sam was the first to acknowledge you, and you gave him a small smile in response. He was happy; it was the best reaction he had ever gotten from you.
Your stomach churned with nerves but you talked yourself up in your head. You can do this. You are literally trained in the art of sweet-talking and persuasion; you can have a casual conversation with your colleagues.
"Hey, Bucky?"
The team froze at your use of his nickname. Even he was shocked to hear it, having only ever heard it at night in your rooms.
He turned to face you, his eyes wide. "Yeah, Y/N?"
You took in a deep breath, fiddling with your fingers. "Could you tell me how to make those pancakes? The ones you made me on the weekend?"
Everyone was baffled, at both the way you were speaking so freely to Bucky and the notion that he had made actual food for you which you had actually eaten and actually enjoyed.
"Of course, darlin'," He replied smoothly, getting up from his seat and walking over to you. "How about I make them for you, and you can watch me?"
You gave him a shy smile and nodded. "Okay."
Natasha was digging her nails into Bruce's arm, her eyes as wide as saucers. Sam and Tony watched with dropped jaws, Wanda and Vision were shocked into silence, Clint was trying to quieten his chokes while Steve just had a smug smile on his face.
You didn't care, though. You were too enthralled by Bucky fluttering around the kitchen, asking you to pass him things while talking you through his perfect recipe for chocolate pancakes. He was showing off when he flipped them into the air, making you laugh when he winked at you. The team felt as though they were hallucinating as they observed the two of you giggling and poking fun at each other while making fucking pancakes.
A bit of batter dripped onto his metal forearm, so you used your finger to scoop it up and put it in your mouth. Bucky scrunched up his nose, feigning disgust. "Incredibly unhygienic, darlin'."
You stuck out your tongue at him. "I incredibly do not care, B.B."
He grinned at the nickname but stared down at the pancake he was currently making, not wanting the others to see the toothy smile you had forced him to let out. Then, as though the sight of you two laughing and cooking wasn't mind-boggling enough, Bucky broke off a piece of a cooked pancake and held it to your lips. You happily let him place it on your tongue before chewing it and telling him how good it tasted.
Natasha raised a finger and parted her lips in preparation to say something, but Steve placed his hand on her arm and shook his head, prompting her to close her mouth.
It felt good to be yourself around everyone. No longer did you have to silently yearn to link your arm in Bucky's; you just could. And nobody commented on it, knowing they'd face Bucky's wrath if they said or did anything that would spoil your mood.
The party was in full swing long before you arrived. You were late because you were debating whether or not to go, but then decided you couldn't miss out on seeing Bucky all dressed up. It took a while for you to muster up the courage to ask Natasha if you could borrow a dress, and even longer to ask Wanda if she'd use her magic to make some alterations where the dress didn't perfectly fit. They were both incredibly kind about it, and Nat had even made a comment under her breath about how Bucky might have fainted when he saw you - but you pretended like you didn't hear it while hiding a coy smile.
Bucky choked on his drink when he laid eyes on you.
Steve had to roughly pat his back to help him breathe properly again. Once he had gotten over his initial shock, Bucky immediately strode over to you before anyone else had the chance to get your attention. "You look incredible," He told you, making your heart skip a beat.
"So do you," You said, nudging his arm playfully.
"Would you like a drink?" He asked you, holding out his arm. You linked yours with his, before your ears perked up.
"Actually, I really like this song," You said, not realizing that Tony had purposely asked the DJ to 'play something romantic' when he saw you and Bucky talking. "Care to dance with me, Mr. Barnes?"
Bucky smiled, his cheeks pink. "I haven't danced in a long time."
"Me neither," You replied, looking up at him expectantly.
Who was he kidding? He could never refuse you, no matter what it was you were asking of him. Without another word, he took a hold of your hand and gently led you to the middle of the dancefloor. There weren't many other couples dancing, but neither of you minded much. All that mattered was that you were with each other, and nothing could be embarrassing about that. You were well aware that the Avengers all had their eyes on you and Bucky slow dancing, but for the first time, you didn't care.
"You know, darlin', you really are gorgeous," Bucky mumbled, his hand stroking your back.
Pulling back so that you could look up at him, a smile grew on your lips. "You're just sweet-talking me so I make you another one of my milkshakes."
He threw his head back before chuckling and looking back down at you. "You caught me. You make damn good milkshakes."
"The secret is," You began, lowering your voice and leaning closer to him so that he could hear you, "You have to be making them for someone you really like."
Bucky raised an eyebrow, a smirk on his face. "Is that right?"
You nodded, "And you're lucky I really like you, B.B."
"What a coincidence," He whispered, his forehead close to touching yours. "Because I really like you, too."
It made all the sense in the world for your lips to lean up and meet his in a sweet, tender kiss, gentler than any touch you had ever known. You felt tingles of excitement, and as though you and him were floating through space together. His hands rested on your hips, keeping your body close to his, and yours tightly held onto his shoulders. With that one kiss, you had each revived something in the other that you both assumed had become extinct long ago. It tasted like hope, smelt like forever, and looked like a bright light refusing to dull.
Over at the bar, Thor raised his glass, inwardly gleaming for the two of you. He met you right before leaving Earth, and returned only for Tony's birthday, meaning he had missed all the heavy subtext during the months you and Bucky spent becoming closer. "Silent Girl and the Winter Soldier; who saw that coming?"
Next to him, Steve Rogers was nursing his drink with a bright spark in his eyes and a glowing warmth in his heart. "I did."
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mitsuyascumsock · 3 months ago
Realistic relationship with Hanma, Ran, Rindou and Sanzu.
OJSJDJD OKAY HI I lost motivation for a second but now I'm back
Relationship HCs
Characters involved: Hanma, Ran, Rindou, Sanzu
CW: fluff and romance
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Expect to go on a date every weekend.
But they're not always expensive
Or.. even good, honestly.
Sometimes you two just cuddle on the couch and he calls it a date
He sings while he showers!
And he'll ask if you have any requests
It doesn't sound good, but he's adorable so you don't care.
That's not to say he's a bad singer! He just doesn't care what he sounds like around you
You're the only person he's 100% comfortable around, after all
He'll force you to watch the same movie over and over again
And you need to be okay with having small pranks played on you
He just likes to keep things fun!
He'll let you help him do his hair
Even if you mess it up, he won't care
"it's perfect, baby. Thank you so much."
LISTEN he'll always need to be by your side
Unless he's going to do something dangerous.
Because he'd never want to put you at risk
He'd also love to emberass you and flirt with you in public
Expect plenty of kisses no matter where you are
If you're ever nervous about something, he hypes you up so much
He'll get you a ton of little gifts.
Whenever he sees something he thinks you'd like, he immediately buys it
Or beats someone up for it
But it's the thought that counts
And dear god, he's constantly thinking about you.
He thinks you're the only person who understands him, after all
Surprisingly an amazing partner
He has your orders memorized for all of your favorite restaurants
Also dotes on you endlessly
He definitely teases you
But he'll always apologize if he sees you're offended or not in the mood
He gives you so many
And he'll read books to you before bed
He'd never let you get involved with gangs
Whenever things feel stressful for him, he knows he can rely on you to be there for him
You know how Hanma songs in the shower? Ran sings when he cooks
Only he always sounds very nice
His voice is so calming and sweet, so he only does it when he knows you two are alone
He always sings you love songs
Sometimes he even asks you to slow dance with him in the kitchen
If you're ever sick or injured, he'd scold you and demand you take better care of yourself
But he'd also watch you more carefully afterwards
In a sweet way, I promise
You'd never have to worry about anything as long as you're with him, either.
He's happy as long as you're safe and sound
"you're my home, (Y/n). I don't need anything else."
As long as you stay out of danger he won't hurt anyone
Well, as long as they don't look at you wrong
Or flirt with you.
Okay, he can admit he's a little protective
But at least you're okay with it
He'd never make you get high
Unless you wanted to, then he has no problem sharing with you
If you ever had a bad day, he'd make your favorite meal and wear a goofy apron while he cooked
And honestly? He's a really good cook
The man is usually high, of course he's good at making food
He loves it when you make chicken nuggets for him, especially if they have fun shapes
He'd demand you baby him when he gets sick
But he'd always repay you with love
Also he'd melt when you kiss his scars
He thinks it's so cute that you love him enough to do that
"You're such a cutie, y'know? I'm glad you're the one I get to spend my life with."
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worksby-d · 4 months ago
𝙲𝚊𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚎 𝚖𝚎?
Pairing: Andy Barber x Reader
Request: “Andy x a younger reader who’s insecure and doesn't know how relationships work because they’re used to being in toxic relationships? Andy would 110% take care of reader and treat them right with dates and flowers and cuddles and stuff and see past their emotional baggage and love them for who they are and take things slow and steady…” AKA Andy allowing you to set the pace for your relationship 💞
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Warnings: Age gap (undefined), new relationship nerves and insecurity, a burn injury but nothing graphic, super soft!Andy, smut – first time together, oral (f receiving), protected sex, aftercare, 18+
Word count: ~3,100
a/n: I GOT CARRIED AWAYYY lol i'm just obsessed with this version of Andy 🥺 As always, let me know what you think, and feel free to send requests <3
The first obstacle for Andy was getting you to agree to going on a date with him.
He was enamored with you the moment he laid eyes on you – the way you introduced yourself with such confidence even though you were the young, new woman in the office, the way you never let your focus falter, practically running circles around everyone else in terms of productivity.
During the first few weeks you would bump into each other by the fax machine or be in the break room at the same time. You never said much, he could tell you were on the shy side.
That was partly true, but what your mentor said on your first day was always in the back of your mind too. He was giving you the rundown of the building and everyone in it when he walked you by Andy’s office, and he warned you about him. “He can be standoffish, but don't take it personal.” And you nodded understandingly, knowing exactly who he was.
You never wanted to be in his way, so you did keep your distance. That was until he approached you.
Sitting on opposite sides of the break room one afternoon, his voice from across the room brought you out of the little bubble you tended to reside in. “Do you want any coffee?” Looking up, you looked around and realized he was talking to you. “I made eight cups instead of four.”
“Sure,” you smiled. You moved to get up, but he insisted he'd bring it to you. He even moved his stuff so he could sit at your table for the rest of lunch.
From there, you guys gradually became more friendly – asking about each other’s weekends, asking how work was going, seeing each other after hours because neither of you knew when to call it a night.
After a couple months of that, he finally worked himself up to a point he could push his own nerves aside and take that first step.
“Y/N, wait,” he blurted out one day as you were about to walk out of the room and back to your office after lunch. “I've been meaning to ask you something.”
You just gave him a go-on look, not at all getting the hint.
“Would you wanna go out for dinner sometime?”
“Oh, I…” You walked back toward him, trying to act like you knew what to say. It had been a while since anyone asked you out, let alone someone so nice. “I don't know if you wanna go out with me.”
“Why wouldn't I?” He was worried he crossed a line, but tried not to let the doubt show. He wanted to put to rest any worries you had, whether they were about your age or the fact you work together. He himself couldn't remember the last time he wanted to ask someone out.
You just shrugged and tried to laugh it off. “I'm sorry. I don't– I'm just not used to– It’s been a while.”
“I get it,” he smiled softly, relieved to hear it was some of the same things he was feeling. “But I definitely want to. This weekend?”
You couldn't help but smile at the fact he really was listening when you were telling each other your weekend plans, yours conveniently being nothing. “Okay,” you nodded. “This weekend.”
He kept where he was taking you a surprise, no matter how much you tried to badger him into telling you where you were going. All he told you was to dress nice and that he had the rest of it under control.
When you opened your door to greet him, a look of genuine surprise graced your face, a look he wouldn't forget. He noticed your eyes fall to the flowers in his hands, and was already beginning to gather that no one had ever done those simple gestures for you.
You both spoke at the same time, but you let him go.
“You look beautiful.”
“Thanks,” you chuckled. Heat rose to your cheeks, and you looked down to the ground for a moment before looking back up to point at the flowers. “Are those really for me?”
“Yeah, of course,” he assured, handing them to you. “Unless you don't want them,” he joked. “It's a nice arrangement. I'll gladly put them in my house.”
“No, no,” you laughed, taking them from him. The look on your face as you marveled at them was still there. “Come in. I'll put these somewhere, and we can go.”
He ended up taking you to a fancy restaurant you'd never even heard of. Your eyes about bugged out of your head when you caught your first glimpse of the prices, but he noticed and laughed, telling you not to worry about it.
Taking you home afterward, you began to get nervous for some reason as he walked you to your door. You didn't know if he'd want to stay or expect to be invited in, neither of which you were ready for yet.
“Thank you for tonight,” you began. “I had a lot of fun. Don't think I've ever had a glass of wine that was more than $8, so…”
His head tipped back as he laughed at that. “Thanks for spending time with me,” he said genuinely, still happy you even said yes to a date. “I had fun too.”
There was a moment of silence, and you got a little antsy, fidgeting with your keys and looking down at the ground, and back up at him.
None of it went unnoticed by him, continuing to realize he was going to have to go slow with you to get you to open up, and that was ok with him.
“I better–”
“Is it okay if I kiss you?”
It was almost funny hearing a grown man ask for permission to kiss you, but it was undeniably refreshing and welcomed. “Yeah,” you breathed.
So he stepped closer to you, resting one hand on your hip and the other gently on your neck, mostly cupping your jaw. He leaned to press his lips to yours, and it was short and sweet, not like he was asking for anything more, which is what you always expect unfortunately. And it solidified for you that he was different.
For your third date, you both decided to forgo the outrageous prices and the formal outfits, instead settling for cooking dinner together at his house.
Neither of you being chefs by any means, it was actually going okay, until Andy accidentally bumped a pot of boiling water causing some to splash on his hand.
“Ah, fuck,” he hissed, and that's when you looked up from what you were doing to see what happened. “Sorry.”
“Oh, shit, here–” You reached for his arm and led him over to the sink. Turning the water on and letting it run cold, you held his hand underneath. “For ten minutes.”
“Wow, didn't know you're a doctor too,” he chuckled quietly. “I think you may be too smart for me.”
“I didn't tell you that?” You played along. “There’s a lot you don't know about me, I’m sure.”
Taking your eyes off his hand and looking at him, he was gazing at you adoringly. It was like slow motion, both of you leaning in to chase each other’s lips, sharing a slow, nearly breathtaking, kiss while his hand was still under the water.
After wrapping his hand, you made him stand there while you finished cooking, telling him just being perched there, looking pretty was good enough.
Once dinner was eaten and cleaned up, you ended up on the couch with him, straddling his legs, sharing a heated kiss, one much more urgent than the one shared in the kitchen.
Going with it, you let him help you out of your cardigan. You instinctively grinded against him subtly while his hands roamed your back.
You were lost in the bliss until a muffled moan escaped your mouth, pulling you back to the moment. Breaking the kiss, you dropped your face to his neck, and his hands stilled on your back as he pressed a kiss to your shoulder.
“I'm sorry. I'm not… I don't think I’m ready. I’m sorry,” you apologized, working on steadying your breathing.
“It’s okay,” he whispered. “No need to be sorry.”
Unstraddling him, you sat beside him, curling up close to his side. His arms wrapped around you while you rested your head against his chest slowly, trying to make sense of how kindly he handled what you just did.
“We can watch a movie or something,” he quickly suggested, not wanting to make you uncomfortable by allowing you to dwell on the moment.
You simply nodded against him, hugging him tighter.
A couple weeks and dates later, you were having a night in with him at your place. One thing led to another, and you found yourself making out with him in your bedroom, no intention of stopping it that time.
Even though you were the one initiating it, he could feel you tense up at times. You had already helped him out of his t-shirt, so his fingers worked to untuck yours, beginning to pull it up. The feeling of his hands on your bare skin caused you to stiffen.
Noticing, he let go of your shirt, and pulled away from you gently, sitting on the edge of the bed and bringing you down with him to sit on his lap.
“Tell me what you're nervous about,” he whispered, kissing your cheek and wrapping his arms around you. He gave you all the time in the world to answer him, rubbing your back and pressing occasional kisses to your shoulder and the side of your face while he waited for you to break the onset of silence.
“That you won't like me once I give my whole self to you,” you admitted, letting out a shaky breath.
“That's not possible.”
“But can you promise me?” You finally met his eyes with yours, silently pleading.
All he did was hold up his hand, offering you his pinky. He somehow got you to laugh as you linked your pinky with his and gave him a kiss.
“Can I show you?”
When you nodded, he carefully stood up with you and laid you on the bed so your head was on the pillows. He swiftly rid himself of his pants, leaving him in just his briefs, and you took that time to finally pull your shirt off.
Feeling vulnerable as you laid there, your arms wrapped around yourself lightly, covering your tummy. He crawled onto the bed, kneeling between your legs so he could lean over you. A hand rested on one of your arms, soothingly stroking your skin, leaving chill bumps. You expected him to tell you to relax, but he didn't want to push you. He wanted to help you get comfortable, so he wordlessly dipped his head, his lips colliding with yours in a chaste kiss at first, but quickly becoming more hungry.
With time, your arms left your body and wrapped around his neck, keeping him close to you.
When you broke away for a breath, he set out to make his way down your body. His lips followed along your jaw, down your neck, across your collarbones.
He didn't even have to ask for you to sit up so he could undo your bra. Completely exposed to him, you didn't have time to dwell on anything before his kisses were trailing down the center of your chest. A hand resting on your breast elicited a soft sigh from you, your nipple hardening against his warm palm. His mouth found your other nipple, tongue circling it and flicking a few times. Your nails dug into his shoulders as you arched your back.
Your moans became louder as he went back and forth, teasing you there. When he was content, he sat back on his knees, musing at you and the slight smile that played at your lips as you looked up at him.
“May I?” He gestured at the button of your jeans and waited for your shy Mhm before undoing it, and pulling them off of you along with your underwear.
Throwing them on the floor, he situated himself so he was laying between your thighs. “You let me know if you want me to stop at any point, okay?” His words were mumbled between the kisses he was leaving along your inner thighs.
You began to nod, but your head fell back, a sigh tumbling from your lips when you felt his tongue dip between your folds, flat and warm as he licked along your slit.
As his tongue worked wonders on you, he teased at your opening with one finger. It was enough for your hips to push toward him, desperate to feel more of him. You didn't know it, but he smiled against you, slowly thrusting his finger inside you.
Between that, and the low hums he was letting out, sending vibrations through what felt like your whole body, you were rapidly approaching your peak.
“Andy,” you whimpered, subtly grinding your hips against his face again. “Don't stop.”
“Let go for me, angel,” he encouraged. “I know you're close.”
It was like everything went dark for a moment as you choked out a moan and came, your thighs trembling and squeezing against his head, back arching off the bed. He worked you through it until your fingers weakly tugged at his hair, an attempt to tell him it was too much.
He sat up while you laid there catching your breath, crawling beside you for a second to discard his briefs and grab a condom from where you told him they'd be in your nightstand drawer. Kneeling back between your legs, he quickly rolled it on, leaning over you again to see how you were doing.
A kiss to your forehead, your nose, your cheeks, made you let out a breathy laugh. Your eyes fluttered open, greeted by him looking down at you. “Was that okay?”
“More than okay,” you answered honestly, the blissful smile on your face nowhere near faltering.
“Good,” he smiled too, pressing his lips to yours.
You shared a fervent kiss for a moment, your quiet groan interrupting it when you felt the tip of his cock nudge against your entrance.
“Relax for me,” he whispered in your ear, resting his hand on your thigh, stroking his thumb in circles. “There you go,” he cooed, feeling your muscles loosen. “Good girl.”
You couldn't help but whimper at the praise, but it abruptly turned into a gasp as you felt him begin to thrust into you. He groaned too, the room filling with the sounds of both of your sighs as he slowly pushed into you.
“Feel so good sweetheart,” he exhaled once he was fully sheathed inside you. He didn't move yet, letting you get used to the feeling of him.
“Mm,” you whined, almost desperate. “You can move.”
With your permission, he began moving his hips, his thrusts falling into a steady rhythm as he worked to take you apart for a second time.
Your nails scratched further down his back each time he pounded into you. “Oh, God,” you cried out, feeling the pressure deep in your belly continuing to build again.
“That’s it,” he grunted, picking up the pace a little. “Want you to come again, honey.”
As if his words were magic, your orgasm hit you, sending shockwaves of pleasure cascading across your body. Your legs wrapped around his waist to keep him deep inside you, the quivering of your walls around his cock spurring his own release.
Not pulling out, he gently collapsed on top of you as you both focused on catching your breath. He pressed occasional wet kisses to your neck as you rubbed his back, feeling all the scratches and marks that would be evident later.
You didn't know how much time had passed when you felt him move again, carefully pulling out of you, earning a whimper from you, and moving to get off the bed.
“Where are you going?” Your head snapped up, nervous eyes meeting his, not understanding why he was getting out of bed already. Was it that bad?
“Just to get a washcloth to clean you up a little, sweetheart,” he assured.
He disappeared into the bathroom for only a second to discard the condom and grab what he wanted, and you relaxed when he came back out. He sat next to you, dragging the soft fabric across your lower belly and between your legs, another whimper coming from you, still sensitive.
“Sorry, angel.”
He tossed it on the floor for the time being and laid back down next to you, pulling a blanket over you guys. You couldn't recall anyone ever being so gentle with you after sex, but you melted into his embrace, savoring it.
After a couple quiet moments of you resting your head on his chest and him planting soft kisses to your forehead and your hair, he spoke up. “I still like you.”
“I still like you too,” you giggled. “Thank you.”
Just a few weeks later came the first I love you.
You were cuddled up beside him on the couch watching a movie. It was your laugh. He felt like he was watching you – your nose scrunch, the smile on your face lingering even when you weren't laughing – more than he was watching the movie.
When you noticed he wasn't laughing, you lifted your head off his shoulder to look at him, finding his eyes fixed on you instead of the screen. “What?”
He just smiled and shook his head, so you playfully swatted at his chest to get it out of him. “C’mon,” you laughed. “What?”
“I love you.”
“Oh–” You sat up straighter, your smile faltering a bit. “Really?”
“Yeah, really,” he chuckled a little. He didn't expect you to say it back, especially noticing the hesitation. All he wanted was to let you know, not to make you uncomfortable. “You don't have to… I just needed to say it.”
“No, sorry,” you shook your head. “I…” Your smile came back. “I love you, too.”
The movie quickly became forgotten as he practically attacked you, capturing your lips with his, causing you to giggle into it. You ended up laying back, him on top of you, as you breathily repeated the words to each other, staying tangled together like that for who knows how long.
Tag list: @chris-butt @patzammit @denisemarieangelina @thummbelina @pppsssyyyccchhhiiiccc @princess-evans-addict @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @la-cey @turtoix @katiew1973 @harrysthiccthighss @tvckerlance @bluemusickid @rocketrhap3000 @mrspeacem1nusone @flovds @starlightcrystalline @stargazingfangirl18 @geminievans1 @doozywoozy @americasass91 @dwights-new-plague @wwwmarissa92 @redhairedfeistynerd @whxre4cevans @aubreeskailynn @white-wolf1940 @melchills-j @xoxabs88xox @just-one-ordinary-fangirl @before-we-get-started @chrissquares @sohosteve @ice-dtae @mariestark
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kiridarling · 7 months ago
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d.kaminari and h.sero | f!reader + corruption + weed/shotguning + praise + threesome + more! minors dni!
— 3.6k words
"I knew I wanted you the second I saw you."
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Denki’s addicted to the pre-concert high.
His veins hum with a song that has yet to start, fingers drumming some mixed beat on the body of his electric guitar as he assumes his place on the dark stage. The theater’s dead silent, the room suspended in a titilating anticipation—and the steady rhythm Denki's heart dissapates into chaos when the faint crack of Eijirou's drumsticks bounce off the walls, and the click in his earpiece begins.
Eijirou hits the kick drum once. Twice. Then his hands fly across the set in a flurry, the rolling beat echoing into the packed arena and spurring the crowd to explode, fans flying to their feet to render their vocal cords for the night.
As the other instruments fill the blank space, Denki's hand grips the back of his guitar's neck, on hold for his solo, and by the time the electric blond steps up to the mic, pavlov's theory has already kicked in overdrive.
"Who’s ready to feel good tonight?”
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“Dude, I’m on fucking fire!” Denki vibrates, nearly glowing in comparison to his bandmates as they sift through a flurry of fans at a meet and greet. It always seems like Denki and Eijirou are the only ones with energy after a good show—but what can he say? Being on stage lights him up like a live wire.
"You said that last concert, buddy," Hanta snorts, before his a fan ran sacks his attention by shoving a tiara into his hairline.
"And? My point still stan—" Denki cuts himself off with a gasp as a bra slings across his face, followed by a burst of pain when the metal hits him in the cheek. He peels the lacy thing off with an eye on the audience and an eyebrow raised in question, unsure of what to do with the undergarment (other than put it on) until someone screams:
“Sign it!”
Denki shrugs and pops the Sharpie cap with his teeth to sign the crest of both cups before flinging it back into the audience—he can only pray it pinpoints its rightful owner before the meet and greet ends.
Katsuki clicks his tongue (because he hates these events) and as the next round of fans lineup in front of their table, Eijirou stretches like this is a sport, saying, “Guess it’s go-time.”
"Go-time is when we perform," Katsuki grumbles in the seat to Denki’s right. "Go-time is when we're in the studio makin' a goddamn album, not meeting crazy fuckin' fans—no, I’m not gonna marry you, you obsessed fuckin—“
“Oh, you're just salty you're not popular with the ladies~“ Denki gushes, wiggling his eyebrows, and a fan hands him a canvas the size of his upper body. “Un—oh wow, did you make this for me—Unlike me, of course.”
"Okay, pretty boy." Hanta rolls his eyes, before signing a phone case and returning it to an overzealous fan. With a hand covering his mouth, he whispers, “Can you believe this guy? So full of himself, I swear.”
The fan giggles and Hanta meets the blushing cheeks with a satisfied smirk. Denki huffs from the disrespect, crossing both arms over his chest. “Full of myself? It’s not my fault I’m sexy—*an autograph? Of course!"
Katsuki chuckles, scratching under his chin with ink blue fingertips, "Call yourself sexy one more fuckin’ time and I'm projectile vomiti—no, I'm not signing your tits, give me a goddamn paper or somethin—"
"What?” Denki scoffs, chest collapsing with the disbelief that one could make such a lie. “I'm literally the definition of I'm sexy and I kno—"
"Um, excuse me?"
His gesticulations freeze at the passive voice, arms stretched wide and to the sky, and Denki knows he has to look absolutely ridiculous as he blinks down at the next person in-line; who's stood with bambi eyes and such a sweet smile the electric blond thinks it might make him sick.
"I-I'm your biggest fan! Could you—um, please sign this for me?"
She comes alive, shoving a poster into his chest with pink cheeks and shifty irises. Out of all the bras, all the breasts he's been asked to sign today, and here you are, with your pocket-sized poster and your lamb countenance. Denki beams.
"Of course, Sweetness! What's your name?"
"[Y/N]!" you say, giggling, and it's so. Cute. Denki opens the Sharpie and struggles to focus on signing instead of your gorgeous fucking face.
"Anything specific you'd like me to say?"
And he knows there's a rule—there always are when it comes to these things, and it's simple: don't fuck the fans. As tempting as it is, don't invite them back to your hotel room because there are too many uncertainties, and if something leaks to the press that’s possibly career ending, that’s it. So, Denki holds his tongue. For the future of himself and the band.
"Uhm, just write what you want! I...I think I'd like it best if it was authentic and came straight from you, so."
Fuck. Of course she does.
And maybe Denki just can't help it when he leans down to speak, perhaps a little lower, "You want something more authentic, cutie?"
You light up like a kid on Christmas, gasping, "Yes please Mr. Kaminari!"
So eager, too.
"Awe, you can call me Denki if you'd like," he coos, and you nod so quickly he starts to worry about whiplash. "Meet me out back, in the alley behind the venue if you wanna get to know me better. Sound like a deal?”
"O-Okay!" You nod, and when he returns your sign you grip it tight between both hands. "I'll um, see you soon Mr. Kami—I mean, D-Denki!"
You flush from the mix up and bow in apology, and Denki knows he's made the right choice when you light up, indicating you have no idea what he meant at all.
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"Row row row your boat, gently down the stream," you hum, sniffling. You’re unsure if your nose is running, it's too frozen to tell, and it has you patting to confirm it’s presence. With your hands stuffed in your pockets and a jacket wrapped tight around your body, you'd think you'd be warm, but no.
The alley is dark. It's dank enough that you can smell it and you're positive what you're dancing in is vomit, but none the matter—today, you met your favorite band. Literally the people you'd die for.
"Merrily, merrily," kicking the loose rocks in the gravel every which way, you enjoy the sound of them scattering against the surrounding brick walls. "Merrily, merrily..."
"Life is but a dream," a voice finishes, a yelp rips from your throat and you jump twenty feet in alarm. But you’d know that voice anywhere; Denki chuckles at your reaction and it has you recoiling with timidity, unprepared for the surprised audience. "You have a lovely voice, Cutie. You should use it more often."
"I..." but you're not exactly sure what to say to that, knowing Denki's heard so many professional voices in his career to last a lifetime, and yet yours is lovely. "T-Thank you."
Denki watches your reaction with a hum and a smile, his visible breath escaping between the slit of his lips and into the cool air.
"Of course, Cutie."
Another voice sighs, shattering the friction that fills your gut when Denki gives you that look. You're not sure what to call it, but it makes you shiver, and that's enough to make you to run and hide.
"...Denki, who's this?"
"Um," the blond places his frozen hands in his pockets and swivels his head around to Hanta, guilty written all over his face. "A fan?"
Hanta sighs again, head tilting to the right in exhausperation, “Denki—"
"I know, I know," the electric blond sighs, waving him off. "But it's fine as long as we don't get caught, right?"
Hanta's black hair threatens to fall into his face so he combs through it, and you try not to drool at the sight of his bicep flexing. "Yeah, until we get caught."
A honk blares and it has you shrieking, to reveal a parked tour bus in the alley once the lights flicker on. Denki points the car keys at the vehicle and the doors swing open. "Awe c'mon, don't be a sour puss. It's a one-time thing, alright?"
Hanta's eyes narrow into slits.
"Seriously, dude! I'm a man of my word! On God."
The noirette's shoulders sag, but he waltzes around both of you to get on the bus. Over his shoulder, he warns, "Denki I swear to fucking god—"
"I'll be careful, I'll be careful~" he singsongs, hopping onto the stairs after the pianist. When Denki notices not you're not moving, he stills at the top step. "You coming, [Y/N]?"
"O-Oh, am I um, am I allowed?" You ask, biting your cheek at the thought of what Hanta just said as you peer around the electric blond’s body. Denki snorts, rolling his eyes.
"Yes, you're allowed," he exits the bus, only to tug you on via your collar. "Now c'mon! Let's have some fun, yeah?"
Denki steers you through the bus and into a space that looks a bit like a living room, with a couch, tv, and a makeshift kitchen in the corner. Following Denki to the kitchen, you look around.
"Where are Kirishima and Bakugou?"
"Out drinking," Denki tosses, flicking open a RedBull. You wonder if this is always the post-concert routine. Hanta fiddles in with something on the couch, but he still has yet to look you in the eyes tonight, even when you ask him:
"What are you doing?"
It seems he didn't realize you’ve relocated from the kitchen to the couch next to him from the noirette nearly jumps. The green stuff in his fingers crumbles, and you scrunch your nose at the smell.
"It stinks," you add. Denki snorts, jumping onto the cushion to your right. There isn’t a whole lot of room and his addition causes your shoulders to slush between the two of them, but it’s strangely comfortable.
"It's weed," he explains like it's obvious. "You smoke, Cutie?"
"Obviously not," you and Hanta say at the same time. You turn his way, and for the first time that night, Hanta looks you in the eyes—and it's a smile, with his eyes crinkling in the corners, but there's...something else. Something else hidden behind the thinnest veil that makes you cower, if ever so slightly.
Something feral.
Denki, unaware of the crushing grip your hand has around your thigh, huffs, and tosses the energy drink down his gullet, "It was a genuine question! Geez."
"What are you doing?" You ask again, and the electric blond whimpers from being ignored.
"Rolling a joint," he utters, lifting the paper to his lips to lick the length. You watch, semi-disgusted, as Hanta finally folds over the last bit of paper around the crest of the joint, gluing it together.
"Know what a joint is?" The noirette implores.
"Yeah," you breathe, shifting at the new closeness Denki provides when you feel his chest against your back. "My roommate smokes, so."
Hanta taps it on a tray, or what Denki describes as "packing it down," before twisting the tip and tossing it back onto the tray in conclusion. Denki cheers.
"Aha! The joint-rolling master has blessed us! Everyone say thank you, joint-rolling master."
"Thank you, joint-rolling master!" You giggle when Hanta's face turns a ruddy red. He reaches over to pop Denki upside the head. Denki gasps, before lunging to return the favor, and you squeal from being jostled between two men.
"Okay," when Denki returns to his seat he's panting and so is the noirette. He picks the joint off the tray and though there isn't much room, turns so he's facing you, your legs smushed against his body indian style. "You ready, Cutie?"
"As ready as I'll ever be," you huff, swinging your arms in preparation despite the lack of space. Just in case.
Hanta snorts, holding the joint to your lips, and Denki raises the lighter and raises it to the end until it's hot enough to burn on its own.
“Now suck."
You do, cheeks puffing, and you blow the smoke straight in Denki's face. It's...a lot.
"Not quite," Hanta chuckles, and flips you via the waist so you're facing him. Denki whines from the change but finds solace in hooking his chin over your shoulder. "Suck, and then inhale. Act like it's a big breath—you gotta hold it in your lungs for a sec."
"Okay," you assert with a nod, eyes burning with a new determination. When Hanta holds it to your lips, you suck and inhale, and start coughing your throat raw, in a flurry of smoke and tears, eyes watering and nose burning. You scramble for water, but by the time you get some, the only thing that's left to soothe is a sore throat.
"Here," Denki offers, grabbing the joint before flipping you his way again. "Take smaller hits, like this."
Denki's mouth wraps around the tip and smoke pours from his lips so smoothly you're determined to do the same. With a raised eyebrow, he passes it back to you, and though it takes a moment, you try again.
The back of your throat tingles but the glide is much smoother, and you find that it doesn't burn on your next exhale. So you do it again. And again. And agai—
"Okay," Hanta picks the joint from your fingers with a click of his tongue, before taking a hit himself. You frown, making grabby hands.
"Hey, wai—"
"Nu-uh," he tuts, pushing you down by your forehead. "You'll feel it soon enough, trust me."
You whine, crossing your arms over your chest. Hanta gives you nothing but a raised eyebrow as he takes another hit, and you're convinced it's to taunt you. "I'm not eve—"
But then the world blurs, a bit, and your legs hum in a way they haven't before; it's warm and it's nice, and it has you blinking down at your hands in bewilderment. Whoa.
"And there she goes," Denki announces, and somehow seized the joint from the noirette when you weren't looking. Your mouth drops to say something, but all you can produce is a light giggle before it melts into a guffaw that only comes straight from the gut, your hands trying to soothe your cramping belly. Tears come to your eyes fairly easily, and when Hanta asks if you're okay he sounds like he's underwater, and that's enough to send you flying through another fit of laughs.
"I—y-yeah, I'm just—just fine," you snort behind a hand, chest spasming as you finally gather yourself enough to calm down. "I'm good. Mhm."
"Yep. Totally fine," Hanta says, but something in his tone suggests he doesn't believe you at all.
You nod, biting your bottom lip to avoid another laugh attack with your hands bunching the bottom of your shirt for extra purchase. Hanta narrows his eyes while taking another hit, so you sock him in the shoulder with a huff. "Stop looking at me like that."
The noirette snorts, "Like what?"
"Like..." you start strong, but falter under his eyes. "Like you want to eat me."
Hanta hums at the comment but says nothing, and you're not sure if your mind fabricated the quick look he gives the electric blond sat behind you. Denki speaks first.
"Do you know what shotgunning is, [Y/N]?"
You frown, "Like a shotgun?"
"So no," Hanta answers for you.
"Here," Denki offers, turning you again. Plucking the nub of a joint from the noirette, he takes a big hit before picking your face up by the jaw and hovering your lips over yours. You're not sure what to do, but once your lips connect, smoke fills your lungs, and you don't exhale until Denki pulls away. You blink, a little dazed.
You just kissed Denki Kaminari.
"Feel good?" He asks, never leaving your personal space. You nod, and he grins. "Wanna do it again?"
Your hands fist his shirt, teeth tearing the inside of your cheek due to the amount of embarrassment this question encourages. "I wan—can we do it again but without the um...without the smoke?"
Denki's hands find your hips and it's hard for him to contain a sly smirk, biting his lips to move in on his prey.
"I knew I waned you the second I saw you."
Denki's lips feel much better when he puts a little weight into the kiss, pinning you between him and the noirette. You're not exactly sure what you're doing but he takes the lead, titling his head and kissing harder, rougher, so your lips are pink and swollen by the time he pulls away.
"A-Another," you whimper, tightening your grip around his tee.
Denki hums in contemplation, picking your head up by your chin. "Ask nicely, Cutie."
Flushing deeper, your eyes dart to the coffee table.
“Another, please."
"Good girl," Denki coos, and he's propping you up against Hanta's chest. You shiver at the comment, finding purchase on Hanta's thighs as Denki kisses you on the lips again. "Wanna feel even better?"
"Yes," you nod vehemently. "Yes please."
Denki hums at that, climbing down your body as his hands glide from your waist to the band of your pants. You frown, "What—What are you doing?"
"Eating you out, Cutie," the electric blond says, hands freezing once his thumbs dip under your waistband. "That okay?"
"Oh okay," you breathe, relaxing against Hanta's chest. "Y-Yeah, that's fine."
Denki rips your pants off at that, tossing them towards the corner of the room and ultimately, to a place you'll probably never find them. Pushing your panties to the side, he licks his lips at the sight of your pussy, and flicks your clit with a smirk. You jump.
"H-Hey, that's not—"
He flattens his tongue against your slit and chuckles when you shudder, and after tossing both of your legs over his shoulders. You're not sure what he does after that though, because Hanta picks your face up by the chin and presses his lips to yours.
Denki slides a finger inside and you squeal against Hanta's chapped lips. You hear the electric blond moan, readjusting himself between your thighs, before you finally peel your lips off the noirette's, chest having from lack of oxygen.
"Such a pretty pussy, Baby," Denki gushes before his warm lips fold around your clit and he sucks, humming in surprise when you buck against his mouth. Hanta hooks his chin around your shoulder with a second joint dangling between his lips—and where it came from is beyond you.
Once he exhales, the joint finds its way between your lips and he instructs you to inhale, and the head rush afterwards has you digging your head into his chest.
"You're so wet, holy shit," Denki pulls away, lips strawberry pink and glossed with slick as he trades his both for his thumb and inserting another finger. It crooks just right and that's enough to make your hips buck, nails carving crescents in Hanta's thighs.
“T-There,” you whimper, wiggling your hips again, and Denki grins, thumb pressing into your clit. Your thighs quiver with the strain it takes to hold them back and Hanta’s calloused hands skip to your waist after dropping the burning joint off in the tray.
“Pull his hair,” the noirette commands, but you hesitate, hands glued to his thighs. Hanta sighs, reaching over you to tug for himself.
“Mph—fuck!” Denki’s eyelids flutter as he moans into your pussy with a new passion, his hands wrapping around your thighs to hold you in place. You gasp at his reaction, fingers scrambling under Hanta’s own to thread through his electric blond hair.
“Move your hips—grind against his face, c’mon,” Hanta’s grip tightens around your waist as he offers the suggestion, and you whimper with a nod before your bucking into Denki’s mouth without abandon. As the noirette trails butterfly kisses up the column of your neck, the coil in your gut snaps, and you barely have time to squeak out a warning before you’re flooding Denki’s mouth.
“Good girl...ride it out—there you go,” Hanta coos, biting your ear. You shiver as Denki pulls away with a final (and obscene) slurp, grinning like he didn’t just shatter you to pieces with nothing but his tongue and fingers.
Denki’s lips are on yours in a blink—you moan, legs still buzzing from the afterglow as you weakly grope for the small hairs on the back of his neck.
“Taste good, don’t ya?” He says with a click of a tongue after pulling away.
“I guess so,” you flush, the humiliation from so shamelessly digging your heels into Denki’s back finally settling in. Hanta reaches under your arm for Denki’s chin.
“What? Want a taste too?” The electric blond giggles, wiggling his eyebrows. Hanta snorts.
“If you could be so kind.”
Denki hums at that, placing a hand on your inner thigh for balance as he slams his lips on the noirette’s for the first time that night. He dives straight for the kill, tongue and teeth and everything, and Denki moas when Hanta’s teeth sink into his bottom lip; you find that you like it a lot.
Though eventually you tired of watching, and press the heel of your hand on Hanta’s hard cock through the fabric of his jeans. The pianist hisses, and you grin—you’ve got their attention now.
“Whoa Sweetheart, what are y—“
“I...I want more,” you assert despite the tremor in your voice. Hanta raises an eyebrow in question which has you pressing harder in hopes he’ll cave just as easily as before. Just in case, you add, “Please.”
Denki redirects your attention by squishing your cheeks until you’re looking him in the eyes. With dark eyes, he says, “You sure you want more, Cutie?”
You nod despite the restriction, “Wanna...wanna get to know you better.”
You watch Denki’s pupils dialate at that, and he can’t even hold back a groan when he says:
“Gods, Baby. We’re going to ruin you.”
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unpopular opinion: bakugou's the bassist and kirishima's the drummer. fight me.
not me projecting 12yo sun's fantasy of getting railed in the tour bus by 5sos um—
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1K notes · View notes
chosonore · 5 months ago
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infatuation [noun. strong but not usually lasting feelings of love or attraction]
pairing: kamo choso/f!reader
summary: in a spurt of recklessness, you hire an escort to help you learn about relationships and intimacy. what you didn't expect was to fall in love with him along the way. [part of the kamo escorts collab]
wordcount: 23.3k
content/warnings: escorts au, slow burn, language, smut!!!, fluff, soft dom!choso, reader is very oblivious and painfully awkward, awkward firsts, dry humping, handjobs, oral sex (m + f receiving), fingering, uh somewhat public sex, loss of virginity, oral fixation, praise kink, lowercase is intended [VERY VERY UNEDITED]
a/n: hello here it is and finally done!!! i've been sitting at this for a week straight now and while i'm not super happy with it, it would've been a shame to just throw it out tbh. writing improvement is a slow progress after all! i'm dedicating this to @sukirichi who always hyped me up while i was writing this, happily welcomed me to the collab and who always supports my writing and i really appreciate it. thank you, from the bottom of my heart! (argh i have so many cut scenes that i ran out of space for dividers, sorry! hope the reading flow still makes sense though)
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"that's what you were so worried about?" nobara looked at you incredulously, as if you grew two heads and asked for her firstborn. "you were scared that guys don't like you because you've never dated anyone?"
you let out an embarrassed whine, pushing at her arm in an attempt to get her to shut up. it wasn't your fault that she jumped to (multiple and very wrong) conclusions when you'd called her and maki, asking them to meet up so you could ask for advice. even maki looked mildly amused, patting your head apologetically. you were well aware of how ridiculous your issue sounds - the topic of dating had always made you anxious. you came from a very wealthy family that always sheltered and protected you from everything. you were their precious little girl after all; your father would rather drop dead than have you mingle with people who didn't treat you well and didn't deserve you. they meant well and it had never been an issue until you moved out to attend university (your parents had acted like you were leaving to travel the world and would never return, when really, you only moved two hours away from home).
even though nobara, maki and you had quickly become friends after you'd met at an event, you were wary to tell them about your background. it worried you, knowing how some people would treat you differently just to get on your good side and use you, so you opted to skirt around it as much as possible. it took you months until you opened up to them when you finally mustered up enough courage and trust to do so. they kept your secrets ever since, always protecting you and looking out for you. you were truly glad to be their friend. the two of them had grown suspicious when you kept declining their invites to join them for parties or to simply go to a bar and you were slowly starting to feel more and more guilty until you couldn't take it anymore and just confessed, asking them for advice.
"so that's why you're nervous even around inumaki," nobara concluded, propping her chin up in thought. "i didn't think your parents would be this protective. do they know that you want to start dating now?"
"no…" you confessed, fidgeting in your seat. "my dad, he um- he means well and usually has a good radar when he says that a guy doesn't deserve me. but i thought it was time to venture out on my own. it's good to have some experience, right?"
"i mean you're not wrong but i don't want you to be asking for advice simply because you feel pressured about dating since everyone else is doing it," maki retorted, giving you a concerned look.
you quickly shook your head. it wasn't that you felt pressured about not having any experience yet. you didn't necessarily want to admit to them that you were a hopeless romantic and liked the idea of being with someone; in the end, it was your own decision to venture. men made you nervous, you didn't know how to act around them and the thought of approaching a stranger by yourself was too scary. maybe it was a better idea to find someone to show you the ropes first, you felt embarrassed about your lack of knowledge and skills and - it wouldn't hurt to have some kind of dating training, right?
"i mean, technically, you could just ask one of the guys to take you out on a fake date. i'm sure megumi wouldn't mind," nobara was already pulling out her phone, making you grabbing her hand in panic and furiously shaking your head.
"i don't want to get them involved in this! it would make things pretty awkward and that's the last thing i would want. isn't there any other solution?" you explained quietly, playing with the hem of the dress. you felt bad for rejecting all their suggestions but you simply didn't want to be a burden to your other friends either.
"well," nobara and maki looked at each other grinning. "you could hire a fake boyfriend."
"really? you can hire tho-"
"escorts, y/n, escorts," nobara pushed her phone over to you, pointing on the screen. frowning, you read the little description. kamo escorts. you'd never thought about hiring someone, let alone knew enough about the topic. judging from nobara's face, she seemed to be well versed and it made you slightly suspicious.
"it's the easiest way for you and you have enough money to pay for their service. it's convenient, you can adjust it to your schedule and they'll send someone who fits your preferences. you choose the spot for your date and they'll make it happen, right? it's perfect and you don't have to worry about getting anyone involved," she explained, tapping at the bottom of the screen. "just give them a call, they'll walk you through the entire process. if you don't like it, you can find someone else or just abort mission."
"what do you mean they'll send someone who fits my preferences?" it did sound like an easy process, almost too easy. something was bound to go wrong, you could feel it. "i don't even know what my preferences are, so how could they possibly-"
"y/n, you might be blind but we are not," maki flicked your forehead playfully, she was more perceptive than you. "if you want, you can call them right now and we'll help you with the preferences, okay? maybe that'll ease your nerves a little."
"now?" you squeaked, eyes widening in horror. you weren't prepared at all; when you invited them over you were only planning to gather advice and then act on it.
"yeah! come on, it'll be fun and it's not like they can see your face," nobara grinned and was already dialing the number, moving away from you agilely before you could snatch the phone out of her hands. you wanted the earth to swallow you, why did they think that this was a good id-
"good evening, thank you for calling kamo escorts. my name is ijichi, how may i help you?" a male voice sounded from the phone, you instinctively dove behind the couch but maki was quicker and pulled you back with one fluid motion. curse her strength and speed.
"yes, hi, my friend here would like to hire an escort but she's too shy to do so, so we're helping her with the entire process. i hope you don't mind?"
"if it helps to ease the nerves, not at all."
nobars nudged you, holding the phone out. you pouted at her, shaking your head like a stubborn child. she rolled her eyes and pushed the phone into your hand forcefully, making you panic as you didn't want ijichi hearing your wrangling.
"um, yes, i- i'd like to hire someone but- ah nobara already mentioned that! it's for… for dates! i just need someone to go on dates with me."
"i see. is this a formal event?"
"n-no! i just need dating training of sorts, so casual is fine… if i do need to attend a formal event in the future, would that be a problem?"
"not at all, simply let us know when booking. our escorts are trained to be able to adapt to any situation and event, there is nothing you need to worry about, miss. do you have any specific preferences?"
"uh i-"
nobara leaned over your shoulder. "she prefers more mature guys! someone who's caring and attentive, someone who's not too outgoing and loud, it has to match her energy! since this is date training, there's probably going to be a lot of awkwardness so we'll need someone who is patient too. someone who can act like the best boyfriend to ever boyfriend. as for looks, i think she's fine with everything- although wait, maybe dark hair. yep, dark hair."
you couldn't believe her, she practically directed the entire call for you as if she'd made a plan beforehand, knowing that it would come to this. there was no doubt that she'd had this in mind, this was nobara after all. maki, on other hand, was watching you amused; she didn't usually engage in whatever shenanigans nobara was up to but she was always a bystander who very much enjoyed your reaction just now.
"miss, do you agree with the listed preferences?" ijichi asked after a moment of silence. you could hear him typing and occasionally scribbling on paper.
"yeah, yes, that's fine. is it possible to book him on weekends? i don't know if this is going to work out just yet so maybe once a week on fridays? i've never done this before so yeah."
"that is doable, yes. if you wish to engage in sexual relations, you may discuss it with your escort. these services come at an additional cost, of course."
"i don't-"
nobara interrupts you again, smirking at you cheekily. "it would be beneficial, so please take that into consideration when choosing the escort!"
"alright, thank you," ijichi went silent for a minute while he was organizing the files and schedules. "there are some possible candidates with whom i have to check with first. i will get back to you, should they agree to the job. after that we can exchange personal information and contacts so we can discuss the matter further."
"okay um. thank you, mr ijichi, i appreciate your help," you thanked him bashfully, giving him your number before thanking him again. you were already so deep in thought that you didn't even listen to his reply. now you've really gone and done it. were you crazy? what if your parents found out? they'd riot and be immensely disappointed in you. getting some dating experience through dating an escort, only nobara could ever come up with something like this.
"how do you feel?" maki inquired and rubbed your shoulders in concern, seeing how quiet you suddenly grew. weakly shrugging with your shoulders, you grasped the fabric of your shirt and nervously fiddled with it. the entire ordeal filled you with anxiety, a myriad of thoughts circling in your brain. it was the first time doing something "reckless" and it left you feeling nauseous.
"i'm not sure." you hesitated. "i'm curious to see how it goes but it just makes me really nervous. how do i act around him? and what if he finds me weird?"
"i don't think he's going to think you're weird just because you get nervous around guys. and besides, ijichi said he'd find the perfect guy for you, yeah? don't worry about it too much. if you don't feel comfortable after the first date, we'll figure something out."
"i guess so… um, but you guys don't mind accompanying me to it? just to make sure it's not some weird guy?" upon seeing your hopeful face, the two girls couldn't say no - of course not, you were their precious, innocent friend. as amusing as this situation was to them, they wanted nothing more than to support you and see you happy as well. you had already done a tiny step out of your little, sheltered world and much more was to come.
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the ring of your phone nearly scared you to death, making you drop the book you were holding. quietly cursing, you picked it up and placed it on the table before answering the phone. who was even calling you at this time? everyone knew you were busy in the evening, slaving away on your assignments. it must be really important to interrupt your workflow like this- you almost dropped your phone in shock when you recognized ijichi's voice on the other side. admittedly, you forgot about the entire ordeal and didn't expect him to get back to you so soon. "good evening, ms y/n. i'm calling you regarding your inquiry so we can finalize all the details."
"u- uhm yes! thank you for calling!"
although ijichi was kind and patient, you were still nervous as you scribbled the details on a piece of paper. your escort's name was choso, he was a few years older than you and his schedule was very flexible. there wasn't more info, ijichi had announced that choso would call you as soon as possible. dread filled your stomach - it was nerve wracking to meet new people, not to mention someone you hired to be your fake boyfriend for the day. and now that you knew he was calling, all focus and concentration was thrown out the window. silently, you sat at the table and stared at your phone, waiting for the screen to light up. maki and nobara didn't need to know about this new development just yet as you wanted to navigate this on your own before telling them.
not too long after, your phone rang again, an unknown number flashing across the screen. it had to be him. even though you mentally prepared yourself for minutes, the anxiety came back full force. with trembling hands, you picked up, holding your breath as you waited for an answer. a deep, rather dulcet voice greeted you from the other side. you liked the sound of his voice, it almost put you at ease if it wasn't for your mind that constantly reminded you what was going on. you hastily introduced yourself to him and told him why you were requesting his services. the entire time, he was silent and let you speak - although you appreciated that he didn't interrupt you, every second that was passed in silence agonized you.
"hello y/n, my name is choso and i'll be your escort for the time being. ijichi told me you were looking for someone to pose as your fake boyfriend?"
"ah, uh yes sort of! i don't… have any experience when it comes to boyfriends and that kind of stuff. and i- i just wanted to learn what it's like to d- date and- and," your voice got smaller and smaller, until it was a mere whisper that was filled with all kinds of embarrassment that you felt. you couldn't help it, hopefully choso was still able to decipher what you were explaining. "you know, k- kissing and all that stuff. i've never done it with anyone before."
"i see," choso paused for a second, making your heart race. "i can't say i've had this situation before but i'm confident in my skills to guide you through this. before we first meet, let's set some boundaries so you feel comfortable at all times, okay?"
you hummed and nodded, although he couldn't see you over the phone. choso sounded like what nobara had described your ideal type - ijichi really had delivered and chosen the best possible match. choso knew what to say and how to steer the conversation in such a way that it didn't make you feel helpless or anxious. and you, in turn, felt like you could trust him with this issue.
"y- yes! uhm when i first called ijichi, a friend of mine helped me with the process and requested someone who was comfortable with sexual relations but… uh, to be honest, i never thought of requesting them. i'm not entirely sure if i want to do it either… i want to approach this in a slow manner, as slow as possible."
"alright, i can work with that. as for our first meeting, have you picked a time and location?"
you sighed in relief. choso seemed like a really nice and understanding person, leaving most of the options up to you. you knew it was part of his job but it felt nice to know that he was so forthcoming and accommodating. for the first date, you’d chosen a nice restaurant that had good reviews and little private booths. even though there was no way your father would ever magically appear and find out about your escapades, you were still trying to be secretive and cautious. the restaurant was situated in a widespread estate with beautiful gardens, the perfect spot to take stroll after dinner. in all the romance books you’d consumed, these type of dates seemed to be very popular - you thought to yourself why not? as you discussed your plans with him, you briefly wondered what he looked like. it felt weird asking him about it and you'd meet him soon anyways. maybe he looked like what you thought his personality was - like a prince charming? the prince that your dad had always assured you would come along. a small giggle left your lips at the thought of it; it was silly to believe it would turn out to be the love of your life. though it made you giddy thinking of your prince charming.
“is everything okay?”
“ah sorry, everything’s fine! i just had a silly thought a moment ago, that’s all,” reassuring choso quickly, you rubbed your cheeks in embarrassment. he must’ve thought that you were going crazy. “anyways, thank you for um, everything. i feel more comfortable now that i’ve discussed the details with you, thank you for being so patient. i look forward to meeting you!”
on the other end, choso hesitated, startled by your sudden enthusiasm when you were rather shy and timid before. it seemed that you were willing to open up a little more. he was curious himself, never having dealt with such a case before. usually, only experienced people who were looking for eye candy to accompany them to fancy events would hire him. he couldn’t imagine what you were like before meeting - it was nicer to get to know you in person after all, for the sake of a date setting. still, how were you able to afford the services? considering you were most likely a college student, he couldn’t fathom what lengths you went just to gain some experience. though he supposed, he shouldn’t judge you too quickly.
“i look forward to meeting you as well. see you on saturday, y/n.”
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for hours you’d gone back and forth between outfits - casual? or more cute? maybe a mix of both? maki wasn’t much of a help either, mostly just giving you a thumbs up for every outfit while nobara had something to criticize about every outfit. you sighed, tossing yet another shirt onto the heaping pile of clothes. it was hard trying to impress someone that you didn’t know. the last item on your list was a simple, flowy dress and it seemed to be the best fit. you didn’t want to agonize over the choices any longer, seeing that the date was inching closer and closer. maki looked like she was bored out of her mind as well, scrolling through her phone as she was lounging on your couch with nobara. “are you sure you’ll be fine?” maki questioned you again. she was relieved about your good mood, how you were less apprehensive about the entire ordeal. when you first told them about choso after the phone call, you sounded slightly excited and were gushing about how nice he had been. you were hopeful that you could learn a lot from him. however, maki couldn’t help but worry about you, constantly making sure you were feeling okay.
“i’m sure i’ll be fine, don’t worry! we agreed to just have dinner today and let me test the waters… we’re really just doing whatever i feel comfortable doing for now,” you explained to the two of them, smoothing out the dress before grabbing your bag. “so yeah, i’m ready, i think. i mean if anything was to happen, i’ll let you know right away. i really have to go now though, you guys coming?”
nobara made a noise of protest, not wanting to get up from your bed which promptly earned her a nudge from maki. you giggled at your friend’s antics, grasping her arm to pull her up. as lighthearted and happy as you acted, you tried to hide your nervousness in front of your friends. worrying them did no good. as the three of you made your way to the restaurant, you checked your phone to see a text message from choso who asked to meet you in front of the building. you agreed, telling him that you would be there soon. the phone pinged again, choso had sent you a simple smiley. it made you grin a little, earning a suggestive glance from nobara whom you gently shoved.
"text us if anything happens, yeah? we can also pick you up afterwards so don't worry about it," maki reminded you again as you rounded the corner of the street, stopping mere meters in front of the restaurant so you could say goodbye to them. again, you reassured them that you would do as they suggested. you would be fine, because after all, choso was a professional. waving at your friends’ retreating figures, you slowly walked towards the entrance and let your eyes wander. the streets were busy, you couldn’t immediately make out anyone who was waiting in front of the restaurant. not that you really knew what choso looked like, you just hoped your search wouldn’t get more difficult with people waiting in the front. glancing at your reflection on the windows of a parking car, you made sure that you looked presentable and approachable.
“y/n?” your soul nearly left your body as you got startled by a deep voice behind you, now suddenly being aware of the figure behind you. whirling around, you almost hit the other person with your small bag with the swing. your eyes widened and you apologized profusely, fussing around to make sure the person was okay until you paused. wait a minute. this person knew your name. abruptly leaning back so you could look at the person’s face - they were very, very tall - you incredulously stared at them before spluttering: “c- choso? you’re choso?”
the taller male nodded, gently grasping your shoulders to steady you. on your bare skin, his hands felt scalding hot, making you painfully aware of how close you stood to each other. choso, for a lack of better terms, looked nothing like you’d expected but you couldn’t complain. he was attractive, very much so. he almost fit into the bad boy category, the type of men your dad would never let you close to. you felt inexplicably drawn to choso, like a moth to flames and you just couldn’t look away. he stared back at you, dark eyes glinting with concern as he took in your form. as your voice had suggested, you appeared to be a rather shy and timid person, looking at him like a deer in headlights. choso thought you were adorable, the way you were holding onto the sleeves of his shirt to not fall.
“i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to hit you! you just really scared me there,” you apologized again, letting go of the fabric in embarrassment. luckily, he didn’t seem to mind, patiently waiting until you were composed again.
“don’t worry about it, i’m okay. it’s nice to finally meet you. should we head inside?” he offered you his arm which you gratefully took and followed him inside. truth to be told, you were starstruck by him, still too flabbergasted to say another word. thankfully, choso had picked up on your speechlessness, silently chuckling to himself as he led you to your private booth. you sat across from him, quietly thanking the waiter as he handed you the menu. eyes flitting back and forth between it and choso, you fiddled with the hem of your dress. what would you even talk about? you felt awkward, not knowing what to ask him; your confidence had suddenly vanished with the earlier incident.
“you look like you’re about to faint,” choso teased you, giving you a cheeky smile. “i’m not gonna bite you, i promise. i’m supposed to be your fake boyfriend, right? ask me whatever you want, just act like we’re good friends. it’ll get better with time.”
you nodded eagerly, face heating up at the mention of boyfriends. how does one even act around them without prior experience? let’s not dwell on it for too long, you thought to yourself. fidgeting on your seat, you pointed at the menu. "do you already know what you'll be getting? a lot of people online recommended their signature dish so i thought we could try it… but all of their dishes sound really good!"
“how about we order different dishes and try from each other then?” choso suggested in response, amusedly watching how your eyes lit up at his idea. you nodded quickly, delving back into the menu to find your desired dish. glancing over to his side to see what he was looking at, you then pushed your menu over to him, pointing at the dish you would be ordering. choso nodded in understanding, skimming the pages until he found a dish that complimented it. not wanting to let you wait any longer, he gave the waiter a sign, ordering for the two of you. across of him, you stayed quiet, still contemplating what to ask him.
“feel free to ask me anything,” choso reminded you again, propping his chin on his hand and leaned closer to you. “when you first get to know someone, dates are really just to spend time with each other and getting to know the other person. if there’s something you two have in common, you’ll just go from there and bond over it, yeah?”
humming in thought, you nodded and looked up at him. “so uhm… what do you like to do in your free time? i’m still in uni, so i spend most of my days studying. but i really like reading when i’m free and i also volunteer at an animal shelter. the pets there make me really happy!”
“my job takes up the majority of my time, so i try to spend time with family and friends as much as possible. my younger brother has gotten me into surfing and paddle boarding, i really enjoy doing that. what do you study, if i may ask?”
“i want to become a veterinarian in the future! it’s been my dream ever since i was younger, so yeah… you said you have a younger brother? i have an older sister but we don’t have much in common since she’s a lot older than me. but um surfing! so you spend a lot of time at the beach, right? i haven’t been there in a long time.”
“if you still wish to continue after today’s date, we could go to the beach next time? i can teach you, it’s not that difficult.”
surprised, your eyes widened at his suggestion. he seemed to be confident that there would be a next time and you couldn’t even deny that possibility. so far, you were easing into the conversation more and more - the process was more natural than the whole setting suggested. though he still made you nervous, he had been nothing but respectful of your space and friendly. not to mention that you were attracted to him as well; if you hadn’t hired him, you could imagine actually getting close to him.
"i- i'd love that." as you told him more about yourself and listened to his stories, you didn’t notice how much time had passed until the waiter suddenly appeared in front of you, presenting you the dishes. your mouth was watering at the sight of the delicious dishes, you couldn’t wait to dig in. quickly thanking the waiter, you then took a bite from the dish after he left. you sighed in satisfaction, taking your time to properly taste the first bite.
“this is so good, you need to try it!” you gushed, pushing your plate closer to the middle of the table. choso chuckled, sharing his plate with you as well. as you took in all the side dishes, he'd already taken it upon himself to pick up a smaller piece with his chopsticks, nudging it towards you. you looked at him confused, then back at the small piece of food. was he trying to-? carefully, you leaned in and let him feed you, confusion and hesitation immediately melting at the taste. the food made you happy, but the unusual intimacy and closeness that he just showed you wasn't lost in between the myriad emotions.
as you had dinner, the previous conversation continued. choso was a few years older than you, has been working in this industry for two years now and preferred coffee over tea. he disliked early mornings and liked to sleep in until noon. his most precious and valued object was a polaroid camera, he wanted to have photos commemorating important occasions or moments that were special to him. all these little details made you feel like he was less of an escort that you'd hired but more of a friend. much to your surprise, the conversation ran smoothly and there were no awkward, silent gaps. you supposed it was only natural; you felt comfortable with him so it was easy to talk. had it been any other guy who didn't understand you or your intentions so well, you probably would've closed up.
"do you want to take a stroll around the estate? i heard the gardens are really beautiful," you asked choso, a hopeful glint in your eyes. dinner was finished long ago, silence filled with light conversation and teasing from choso’s side. you weren’t sure where to go from this or how to suggest being… more intimate. choso had suggested you would go slow - but how slow was too slow? and if you were to go with the flow, when would be the right time?
“i would love to,” choso’s reply pulled you out of your thoughts, focusing your attention back to him. lost in your thoughts, you nodded and called a waitress over to pay the bill. you felt choso’s gaze on you, making you queasy. what did he think of you? or this entire ordeal? you wondered. as he stood up and moved behind you, you nearly jumped out of your skin when he placed his hand on the small of your back, guiding you out of the restaurant. the touch was unfamiliar, heavy and scalding even through your clothes, but not unwelcome. a strange feeling welled up in your chest, crawling its way up your throat, constricting it in such a way that it distracted you from coherent thoughts.
seeming to notice your conflict, choso stepped to the side, offering you his hand. you glanced at it, hesitating. “boyfriend experience, remember?” he grinned at you, patiently waiting until you took his hand. his hand was much bigger, almost entirely engulfing yours as you intertwined your fingers. gently swinging your arms back and forth with the flow, choso lead the way through the paths of the garden. having looked forward to it, you suddenly found yourself too distracted by him. the flowers and trees were beautiful and so were the statues but he was the one that caught your attention.
“my hands aren’t sweaty, are they?” you asked after a moment of silence, stopping to face choso. he laughed and shook his head, flicking your forehead gently.
“stop worrying about things too much, you’ll be fine. you don’t see me complaining, do you?”
“i mean that’s true… but i can’t help it! there’s just a lot to uh, think about…” your voice trailed off, you let his hand go to cover your face in embarrassment. choso inched closer to you, grasping your hands to pry them off your face. remaining stubborn, you pulled them back in, a giggle breaking from your lips when he tried again, playfully pinching your cheeks.
“want me to take your mind off said things?” he asked with a low voice, inching in further until your back hit a tree trunk behind you. he was so close, too too close. weakly, you pushed at his chest, trying to get him to back off. the sudden closeness that threw you off - your heart was racing at a million miles an hour, the endless possibilities dancing around your head. “how so?” your voice came out quiet and breathless, as if you were anticipating anything, something… his touch perhaps?
“do you feel comfortable with me?” without hesitating, you nodded in agreement. choso didn’t question you any further, simply gave you a knowing smile before diving in and pressing his lips against yours. instinctively, you stiffened, hands clenching around the fabric of choso’s shirt. breath caught up in your throat, you struggled to ease into it. you pulled away from him, squeezing your eyes shut in shame.
“i’m sorry that-”
“don’t apologize,” choso comforted you quickly, clasping your hands in his and intertwining them. thumbs gently rubbing the back of your hands, he lifted one of them to press a kiss against your knuckles. you blinked perplexed; your heart fluttered at the gesture. “don’t overthink it, there’s no science to it, yeah? just follow the flow, whatever feels good. we’ll go from there.”
giving you a moment to collect yourself, he leaned back in, silently waiting for permission. again, your breath hitched but this time, it wasn’t the nervousness. it was his eyes that drew you in, demanding all of your attention. dark, with unknown depths, that glimmered with mischief. ever so slightly, you tilted your head up to meet his lips. his warm lips pressed against yours, slowly testing the waters and letting you set the pace before deepening the kiss. now less hesitant, you kissed him back with more fervour, losing yourself in the feeling. it felt awkward and strange now that you let him guide you, leaving more space for you to ponder about the feeling that it evoked inside of you. you were glad he was holding your hands, otherwise you wouldn’t know what to do with yourself. the kiss brought forth a pleasant, tingling feeling - the sort of feeling that pulled you in, lulling you in warmth.
when choso pulled away, you almost mewled in disappointment, chasing after him. he let out a breathy laugh, cupping your cheek. “how did that feel? was it okay?”
“y- yeah, i liked it. felt very strange at first but once i was able to ease into it, it was… more natural and felt really good,” you explained to him shyly, leaning into his hand. longingly, you gazed at him. would it be weird to ask for another kiss? you wanted explore the feelings more, the intimacy of it, wanted to feel more of him. as if sensing that you were craving more, choso leaned in again, stopping a few centimeters in front of your face. with a sudden surge of boldness, you closed the distance between you, leaning up to kiss him. choso's arm snaked around your waist, pressing you closer to his body. gradually your body felt hotter, a dull ache accompanying it, spreading across the expanse of your stomach.
before you could act on the urge, choso pulled away again, pressing an apologetic kiss to the corner of your lips. "sorry, i don't want to get too carried away and we're… uh in public," he laughed at your horrified expression upon realizing your mistake. "i take it that you're still comfortable with this? do let me know if it gets too overwhelming for you.”
“n- no, it’s fine! it was uh, an interesting insight. i just wasn’t expecting to really get into this, considering- considering i hired you for this and don’t really know you.”
choso hummed in agreement. “i guess there has to be at least a smidge of attraction for it to work, yeah?” you looked at him stunned, trying to decipher the look in his eyes. you couldn’t place it; couldn’t place the feeling of longing that was emerging in you. when he looked at you like that, it was difficult to remind yourself that he was just an escort that you hired for your personal problems. when he looked at you like that, it filled you with warmth, making you want to pretend that he really cared about you as if you were in a relationship.
“yeah… yeah, i guess so.”
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nervously, you were twiddling with your phone, contemplating whether to text choso or not. after the last “date”, you felt confident enough in continuing your… relationship of sorts. he was great at guiding you, always making sure you were comfortable and moving at your pace. you did let him know that you would book another session, you just hadn’t set up a date or time yet. and casually texting him felt awkward. hey, how’s your day? oh by the way, i wanna book another session so we can make out haha? maybe calling was a better idea. there was no plan ahead, never did you think you would even get this far.
the dial tone made you nervous. you chewed on your bottom lip as you waited for him to pick up, bouncing your leg up and down. maybe he was busy? it was early in the afternoon after all, he was probably already out with other clients. “hello? y/n?” choso sounded groggy, his voice raspy and deep as if he’d just gotten up. it sent electric shocks right down your spine, raising goosebumps across your skin. never had you thought about a man’s morning voice before, but choso had you wondering, imagining. you spluttered: “oh hey uh are you busy? i’m not interrupting you with something, am i?”
“not at all, i just got up,” choso admitted with a quiet chuckle. “everything okay? are you calling in for another appointment?”
“ah, yeah! i thought that we worked quite well and there’s still a few more things i want to learn with you, if you’re up for it? if you’re comfortable with it too, of course!”
“mhmm, i wouldn’t mind,” choso pondered from the other side. sounds of rustling and a few clangs resounded before you could clearly hear his voice again. you were glad that he agreed to it, meaning that you weren’t entirely… hopeless in that department. for days, his words were ghosting around in your head, a constant reminder that he seemed to find you attractive as well. not that he showed it, staying professional despite the nature of your relationship. it was nice to imagine that someone would look at you like that, at your shy and timid self.
choso was meticulous about his work, working on every detail and concern until he was satisfied. even though he looked so easy going, from time to time he had to admit that he was a perfectionist and easily frustrated when something didn't go the way he expected. so when you rolled around, so innocently asking for help, it threw him off. the feelings of confusion grew when he first met you, unable to pinpoint the origin of this urge, possessive and demanding, reaching its tendrils out to you. the way you reached out to him for help, the fact that you wanted to continue, wanted him to teach you. it thrilled him to the core when it really should not. he had to remain professional. but he was curious, so curious. indulging a little wouldn't hurt, right?
to choso's surprise, the next venue you'd chosen was the own comfort of your home. you were barely acquaintances, more like strangers, and yet you felt confident to invite him here. at the phone you had told him that your friends thought you had weird ideas about dates due to only seeing glorified versions of them on tv shows and movies. it embarrassed you enough to take their advice, inviting choso over for a movie night as opposed to visiting another fancy venue with him. prior to the date, you went through movie suggestions and rented the ones that you thought were interesting and enjoyable for the two of you. despite your put together attire and look, your apartment did not reflect the sentiment. it was a little chaotic; books and paper stacking up in every free corner of the apartment, pens strewn across surfaces and here and there choso could spot memorabilia and photos.
you gave choso an apologetic look when you let him in. despite your best efforts to clean up, you were still not happy with the outcome. tidying wasn't your strong suit but you tried to make it as accommodating as possible. choso assured you that he didn't mind at all, telling you that it added to the charm of the apartment. it was unusual to have someone other than your friends or family in the apartment - your home was your sacred space that you rarely ever showed anyone else, let alone someone you had hired. choso took a seat on the couch, turning to look at you as you went to grab some glasses and drinks.
"i uh, told my friends about my plans and they just told me i have weird expectations of dates," you explained choso, placing the items you'd grabbed on the coffee table and rubbed the back of your neck sheepishly. "they said it would probably just be better to have a simple movie night since a lot of people do that. and it would… make things a lot easier i- if we go fu- further…" the implication was hanging in the air, you didn't dare to speak them out. choso gave you a knowing smile, patting the empty space beside him. gingerly, you sat next to him, squeaking in surprise when he snaked an arm around your waist and pulled you to his side. with wide eyes, you stared at him, still trying to wrap your head around the casual close proximity with the taller male.
wordlessly, you started a random movie, trying to focus on it. throughout the duration of it, choso would ask you questions about your day, how uni was going or whether you felt comfortable. you couldn't focus, not with him being so close. how you made it through the first movie you didn't know. you were hyper aware of choso's wandering hands, the ghost touches his fingers left, how he absentmindedly rubbed your legs that were resting on his lap. straining to keep your eyes on the screen, your neck already felt stiff from the tension.
"i can tell that you're distracted, you know?" choso hummed, hands squeezing your legs gently to catch your attention. pretending to not be affected by it, you shook your head. you didn't want to show him that you wanted to proceed, not yet.
"i'm trying to concentrate," you shushed him quietly, playfully pushing at his arm but still not looking over to him. silence. you assumed you'd convinced him that there was nothing wrong until you felt his hands innocently move a little higher, rubbing the top of your thighs. clenching your fists, you stayed put, unwavering in your resolve. choso's hands wandered, alternating between featherlight touches to using more pressure. he kept his eyes on you, gauging your reactions to him. you brought your hand up to cover half of your face. it was embarrassing, the way your breath came out laboured in response. without warning, arms were hooked under your knees, dragging you across the couch and seated you on his lap. you made a noise in protest, now finally paying attention to him. choso wasn’t sure why but it had bothered him that you were so adamant on keeping your attention on the movie as opposed to keeping your eyes on him.
choso wasn’t sure why but he craved your attention, wanted you to look at him only. his resolve crumbled when you looked at him with wide eyes, grasping the sleeves of his shirt to steady yourself. he couldn’t help but kiss you, swallowing your surprised mewl before you returned the kiss. pleased at your eagerness, he gradually deepened the kiss, licking at the seams of your lips. you gasp in surprise and parted your lips slightly, whimpering in anticipation. it felt unfamiliar and yet thrilling at the same time, fueling and flaring up the dull ache in the pit of your stomach. before choso could go any further, you pulled away and hid your face in the crook of his neck. “what’s wrong? did i go too far?” he questioned concerned, rubbing your back in soothing circles.
“no, no, not at all,” reassuring him quickly, you awkwardly turned in his lap, legs still thrown over it. “i uh just wanted to try to take initiative myself, figure things out without getting hints from you… if that’s okay?”
a sigh of relief left choso’s lips. silently, he gave you his approval and leaned back, watching as you shuffled clumsily. finally, you straddled his lap and placed your hands on his chest. in the dim light, you couldn’t make out his face expression - choso was glad that you couldn’t, otherwise you would have been able to see how much it was affecting him, how he was slowly losing his composure and control around you. but this was about you, he was there to help you explore this type of intimacy. releasing another shaky breath, you then leaned in and softly kissed him. you kept a languid tempo, slowly and surely cracking his restraint. trying to mirror what he’d done earlier, you pushed further, timidly licking into his mouth as he parted his lips.
seemingly not being able to hold back anymore, choso pushed against you with equally as much fervour, gripping your chin and tilting your head ever so slightly. his lips moved against yours, sucking your bottom lip, eliciting a whimper from you. again the ache in the pit of your stomach was flaring up, uncomfortable and yearning for relief; you moved against his lap, pressing your body against his when your crotch dragged against the bulge in his jeans. choso groaned, hands flying to grasp your hips and steady you.
dazed, you gave him a confused look. choso cleared his throat, lifting his hips ever so slightly so you could feel his arousal again. when the realization hit you, your face heated up - you were surprised to find out that he felt aroused… by you.
“yeah.” choso retorted dryly, hands rubbing at his face in embarrassment. “fuck, i’m so sorry. it wasn’t meant to get out of hand like this, i don’t know how far you planned ahead for today but i-”
“uhm if you don’t mind…” you hesitated. but curiosity simply got the better of you, you wanted to see him breathless and feel as hot and bothered as you did. “could i uhm. you know? give you a handjob? only if you don’t mind because i want to know how to please uhm, please people.”
choso swore under his breath. you had no idea how painfully hard you were making him. quietly encouraging you, he leaned in to kiss you again and guided your hands to his jeans. you fumbled with the button and zipper, hands trembling slightly. it took you a few tries until you were finally able to unzip his pants, a giggle left your lips at the thought of how clumsy you were. your hands gently rubbed at the tent in his boxers, breath hitching as choso’s hips jerked. gaining some courage, you slightly put on more pressure and watched fascinated when choso’s fingers digged into the fleshy skin of your hips in anticipation. slowly, you pulled the waistband of his boxers down until it revealed his cock. choso hissed at the cold air that was biting at his skin.
carefully, you wrapped your hand around the shaft, marvelling at how the skin felt on your hands. sensing your cluelessness, choso wrapped his larger hand around yours and guided you into a slow rhythm to get you used to the movement. sucking in a deep breath between his teeth, he praised you: “you’re doing good, y/n. fuck, you’re being such a good girl.”
your heart soared at the praise. eagerly, you leaned up to kiss him, still stroking him in slow movements. choso moaned against your lips, the deep sound spurring you on, eager to hear more of his reactions. when you finally felt more comfortable continuing on your own, choso pulled his hands away and instead settled them on the small of your back, sliding them down until they were resting on your bum. you wrapped your other hand around him as well and paid attention to his reactions, adjusting the pressure and pace accordingly. choso buried his face in the crook of your neck, whispering sweet praises in between his moans. eventually your name left his lips; it set your entire body in flames, desperate want clinging onto your bones.
“fuck, i’m close,” he groans against the skin of your neck, hips rutting up to meet your movements more frantically now. you weren’t entirely sure what to do, opting to simply match the pace. shudders wrecked through choso’s body as he came, warm cum painting your small hands and running down your fingers. he was panting, leaning back against the couch and watching you with hooded eyes. the sight in front of you stirred something inside of you - choso’s flushed face, the slight sheen of sweat on his skin, his kiss-bitten lips. with curiosity, you inspected the liquid on your hand. lazily, choso grasped your wrist, holding them away from you. “‘m sorry. do you have a tissue?”
you tilted your head, tugging on the sleeves of his sweater with your other hand. “uh i- i’ve heard from others… um. can i try?” you asked quietly. choso’s grip on your wrist weakened; he gave you an incredulous look, as if you few two heads. out of all things, he didn’t expect you to suggest that. fuck, he felt the blood rushing right back down to his cock. just the thought of you, doing that - it was enough to make him cum again. “go ahead, if you feel like it,” choso whispered in a low voice. dark urges overcame him again, begging him to give in, to make you bend to his will, to submit, to-
his thoughts came to a screeching halt when he saw you unashamedly pop a finger in your mouth, licking the come from it. there wasn’t any reaction from you really, you gave him a sheepish smile afterwards and gratefully took the tissue he offered you. he helped you wipe your hands, diving in for another kiss. “sorry, i think i just short circuited,” choso laughed embarrassedly, another kiss was pressed to your temple. “that was just… uh- fuck.”
“r- really?” you stammered, hiding your face in your hands. “it’s okay if it wasn’t that great for you, it was my first time after all, i-”
choso hushed you, going for another open mouthed kiss, eliciting a whimper from you. “yeah, really. fuck, the things i want to do to you,” he shook his head, not wanting to get sidetracked again. “but this is about you. we’ll only go as far as you’re comfortable. did you feel like you learned enough for today?”
“mh- hmm. thank you,” you leaned your head against his chest, closing your eyes as a sudden tiredness washed over you. choso’s fingers dancing across your skin were slowly lulling you into a comfortable slumber. “what is it that you want to do to me? will you show me one day?”
choso cursed, shivers running down his spine.
“if you want to, of course.”
now that you’d met choso a couple of times, it was pretty obvious that you took some liking to him. after that fateful day, nothing else had happened as you wanted to work on easing into relationship dynamics and feeling less insecure about things - choso had been nothing but sweet and mindful about it, even went out of his way to find suitable locations for your dates. somewhere along the way you had started to text more casually, the strictly business type texting long forgotten. gradually, the two of you opened up to each other, the lines between escort and client slowly blurring and intertwining.
choso had promised to pick you up after your shift at the animal shelter for your next date; for today he had suggested you come over to his place for a change. the thought that he was willing to let you in his home, let you have a glimpse into his personal life, it made you giddy with anticipation. despite getting closer to each other, he remained a mysterious person and you didn't want to pry. after all, you were merely his client. but what if you were more- patting your cheeks to put some sense back into you, you leaned down to pet the dogs. unbeknownst to you, choso had already entered the building and watched you with a soft smile as you gave each of the dogs their deserved belly rubs before you left.
you didn't take any notice of him until some of the dogs perked up and carefully trudged over to sniff at the stranger. turning around on your heels, your eyes widened as you took in choso's tall figure. you quickly apologized, telling him that you would be joining him right away to which he simply shook his head and reassured you that you were fine. your co-workers were eyeing choso curiously, one of them wiggling their eyebrows at you. in response, you waved it off, too embarrassed to set the record straight. choso looked so awfully much like a boyfriend in this moment - the way he was dressed in casual clothes that accentuated his physical features so well, the soft smile he gave you as he offered you his hand to take, the way he sounded genuinely interested and curious when he asked you about your day.
silently, you took his hand and followed him out of the building - you could feel your co-workers’ inquisitive gazes like laser beams on your back. while they were never particularly nosy about your personal life, it was unusual that someone would pick you up from work; much less someone that you seemed to be romantically interested in. surely, they would grill you the next time you would return to work. “they think you’re my boyfriend,” you explained to choso sheepishly, glancing down at your intertwined hands. choso squeezed your hand and nudged your side gently. “am i not?” he winked at you cheekily, making your face heat up. he had asked in such a serious voice that you’d briefly questioned yourself.
“n- no, not really,” you replied quietly, looking away from him. choso reached around you to open the car door for you. in the window reflection you could see his face expression; it was rather somber, almost as if your words had hurt him in a way. the emotion was gone from his face when you blinked. maybe you had just imagined it. getting close to him on that level was unattainable, no matter how you twisted it. it just wasn't right.
the car ride was mostly quiet, only the sound of choso's car playlist accompanying you. somewhere along the way he had reached out to intertwine your fingers, resting his hand on your thigh. holding hands was almost natural to you now, the way his hands automatically sought out yours whenever possible. in response, your heart was racing, filling with the all too familiar feeling of yearning. whether you were simply yearning for the intimacy and closeness of a relationship or for him, you weren't entirely sure. while choso had told you about himself for the sake of the fake dating, there were still unknown facettes. it was impossible for you to get to know all of him, not when he was selling a fantasy to you. and yet, you found yourself craving more of him, beyond what he was willing to show you.
choso parked his car in the garage, turning his body sideways so he could look at you. "you okay? you look like you were quite lost in thoughts," he hummed curiously, rubbing circles on the back of your hand. what could you possibly answer to that? hey i'm questioning our fake relationship and it's going beyond what i expected? abruptly, choso hoisted you across the seat onto his lap as if you'd weighed nothing. "a penny for your thoughts? or should i take your mind off things?"
"i- i think i would… rather not talk about it," you whispered quietly, gaze skirting away from his eyes. choso frowned, slightly irritated - he had a small inkling why he reacted this way but banned the thought to the back of his head. he understood that as a client, you wouldn't disclose details of your private life to him. but he found it difficult to circumvent your dropping mood when he couldn't tell what was going on.
"i understand," choso was about to open the door when you suddenly cupped his chin and dove in for a kiss. he was caught off guard - rarely did you ever initiate kisses, usually shyly asking beforehand. feeling bold, you pressed you pressed your hips down, grinding against his crotch. choso groaned, gripping your hips to guide you while thrusting his hips up to meet yours. he enjoyed how you shuddered at the newfound pleasure, the delicious friction making your toes curl. "does baby want me to take her mind off things?" he murmured with a raspy voice, peppering kisses across your jaw.
"please," you mewled needily, hands grabbing onto his shoulders, fingers digging into his skin. choso complied, sliding his hand up to tangle in your hair and gently pulled at it, tilting your head back. you were panting by the time he was moving down the column of your neck, nipping and sucking at your skin. lower and lower, until he reached the top of your breasts; with swift movements, he yanked your shirt and bra upso , pressing open mouthed kisses to them before wrapping his lips around your nipple. your voice cracked as you moaned his name, hands flying up to bury your hands in his hair. distracted by the ministrations, you didn’t notice choso’s free hand sliding down your front until you feel the coldness of his hands on your skin. you squirmed, giggling at the cool sensation - the giggle died abruptly when he dove lower, fingers rubbing your clothed pussy languidly.
“c- choso! we’re still in the g- garage, people can see!” you stuttered scandalized, tugging at the tips of his hair to grab his attention. choso simply hummed, carrying on as if you hadn’t just told him your concerns. rubbing circles on your clit, he watched with satisfaction how your legs were trembling, writhing in pleasure. just the sight of you - hickeys on your neck, slightly swollen lips, shirt pushed up to reveal your tits, his hands down your pants - it was so arousing and thrilling, he almost didn’t want to stop.
“the windows are tinted and no one’s around at this time… do you really want me to stop?” he murmured with a low voice, fingers pushing your panties to the side to gather the slick up on his fingers. “look at you, how much you’re craving it. the want is written all over your face, baby. do you want to stop now?”
before you know it, choso’s hand is suddenly hovering over your face, fingers glimmering with your arousal. you shot him a dazed look, confusion evident on your face. “open,” he instructed softly, slowly and carefully sliding his fingers in your mouth. almost instinctively, your hands gingerly grasped his wrist. your lips wrapped around them, tasting the liquid curiously. his breath hitched, blood shooting down his groin - fuck, you were going to kill him. tentatively, he thrusted his fingers, slow enough so he could gauge your reaction to it. you didn’t know what it was - the taste of yourself, the weight of his fingers on your tongue, the way he was looking at you with hooded eyes and a hungry expression on his face; it made you squirm, eagerly for more. choso immediately took notice of your sudden mood shift. barely noticeable, your hips were rocking back and forth as you sucked on his fingers, cleaning them of your slick.
with a pop, choso removed his fingers. you whimpered his name, gasping in relief when he slid them back down, moving your panties to the side. his thumb found your clit, rubbing the little nub gently in slow circles. as if he was in no hurry and unbothered by the prospect that someone could actually spot you, he continued his ministrations. your legs jerked, threatening to close when you felt his fingers prod at your entrance. excruciatingly slow, he sunk a finger into you. the feeling was unfamiliar, almost uncomfortable at first. seizing up, you clenched around the finger. “relax, ease into it,” choso whispered reassuringly, capturing your lips in a kiss. “it’ll feel good, i promise.”
choso inserted a second finger, letting you get used to the feeling of them. the kisses he was peppering on your chest were distracting you from the burning stretch, creating a confusing mix between pain and pleasure. “how are you feeling?”
“f- feels good, i- i-” you were struggling to form coherent sentences, too focused on how he was lapping at your nipples, sucking and kissing them gently. “y- you can continue…”
steadily, choso started to thrust his fingers into you - gradually, the burn was disappearing and replaced by a delicious stretch, pleasure that was spreading throughout your body and setting your nerves on fire. desperately clinging onto his shirt, you hid your face in the crook of his neck. choso placed a kiss on the crown of your head, whispering sweet praises and telling you what a good girl you were. it felt good, so good but something was missing, you needed something, maybe more. you started begging and despite blabbering nonsensical things, choso understood what you were asking of him. his fingers hit a peculiar spot inside of you when he curled them, making you jerk in surprise. “o- oh!” again and again, choso was hitting the spot, making you writhe on his lap.
something was building up in the pit of your stomach, like a tightened coil that was about to snap at any time. panicking slightly, you grabbed choso’s hand and tried to close your legs, wiggling away from him: “h- hey wait, i-” another moan broke from your lips when choso sealed your lips with his and wrapped his arm around your waist, locking you in place. “it’s okay, let go, baby. cum for me,” he whispered against your lips, sinking his fingers in you one last time. and then the coil snapped, the high crashing over you like a riptide, so blinding and intense that it took you a while to come down from it. your thighs were still trembling by the time you came back to your senses, ripples of pleasure still cursing through you.
you slump against choso's chest, exhausted from the intensity of your orgasm but feeling wonderfully blissed out. choso removed his hand from you, licking your arousal from his fingers before wiping them off on a paper towel. he brushed his fingers through your hair, pressing a kiss on your forehead. "how are you feeling? can you move?"
"my legs feel like jelly," your voice came out muffled, face still pressed into his chest. "'m feeling good though. that was… really nice."
"i'll carry you upstairs," choso declared matter-of-factly, hoisting you up so he could carry you. you slung your arms around his neck, pecking the side of his neck. his scent was faint but calming, lulling you into a sense of home and comfort. you wanted to stay close to him like this, just having him hold you in his arms. a myriad of emotions welled up in you, swallowing all your doubts until all that was left was the budding blossoms of your feelings for him, nurtured by his soft touches and adoring treatment. you wanted to cherish him, keep him close for as long as you could, as long as you could still have him.
"thank you."
"for what?" choso sounded surprised.
"taking care of me? i mean i pay you for it but i still wanted to let you know that i appreciate it."
“everything for you, baby,” choso replied softly, tightening his grip around you. as you got to his apartment, choso placed you on the couch and knelt down, hands wrapping around yours. “do you want to get changed? i’ll lend you some of my clothes, you can get changed in my room or in the bathroom if you want to freshen up.”
he was so so considerate, you couldn’t believe someone as nice as him existed out there. as you agreed, choso disappeared in his room; the sound of opening doors and drawers as well as rustling resounded from his room. you took the opportunity to observe his home. it was a small but cozy apartment, despite being sparsely decorated. in the back of the living room, you could spot some bags and boxes, presumably choso’s surfing equipment, as well as posters and photos cluttered on a pinboard. here and there, some little figurines and trinkets were spread across the apartment. although it was cozy, the apartment lacked some kind of presence, some warmth. you assumed that it had to do with choso’s job - he probably was rarely home between work and spending time with friends and family.
“here you go,” choso handed you a big sweatshirt and some shorts as he came back, patting your head teasingly. “go and get changed, i’ll start preparing dinner, yeah?”
you hid in the bathroom and got changed, neatly folding your clothes and stacking them on the counter. inspecting yourself in the mirror, you admired the size of choso’s sweater - it was a simple and cream coloured sweater that was entirely dwarfing and engulfing you. the sleeves were way too long and the hem almost reached your knees. but it was soft and comfy, coming close to choso’s hugs. you pulled the shorts up your legs, awkwardly securing them by tucking them underneath the sweater. choso had set up some boiling water and was silently chopping vegetables by the time you left the bathroom and tip toed towards the kitchen. “can i help you with anything?”
“no it’s okay, take a seat. do you want anything to drink? water? tea?” reluctantly, you sat at the small table on the side, pouting at him. choso simply laughed and shook his head, bringing a glass of water over. your heart jumped in surprise when he kissed your forehead as he placed the glass on the table. “i’ll take care of you for today. boyfriend duties, remember? the past times you’ve always taken us out on restaurants and incredible locations and now it’s my turn to show you the boyfriend magic.”
sudden dread filled your stomach. how could choso be so warm and kind-hearted to you, when you weren’t even in a relationship? you keep having to remind yourself that this was what he was doing for a living, that you might possibly never know the real him. that this might just be a mask that he kept on for the sake of your requests. you didn’t reply, deep in your thoughts as you stared at the glass of water. choso returned back to his previous task, cooking dinner in silence. your chest felt heavy with uncertainty and disappointment - you tried your best to push the emotions down. they were irrational, you knew full well what you were getting yourself into when you asked for his service.
thankfully, choso didn’t seem to have picked up on your sullen mood, even throughout dinner - you let no emotions shine through when you conversed with him, choosing to keep it lighthearted. you offered to wash the dishes, not wanting him to lift another finger when you could help him in return. as you scrubbed the bowls, choso creeped up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, placing his chin on your shoulder. “you wanna watch a movie? or go to bed already? you’ve had a long day at work after all.”
“hmm, yeah. i think i’d prefer going to bed, if that’s okay for you?”
“i could never say no to cuddles,” choso hummed, capturing your lips in another kiss. you whimpered against them, not being able to resist him. he moaned against your lips, grip on you tightening. “please don’t tempt me, it’s so hard to say no to you,” he warned you with a strained voice.
your face grew warm at the memories of a few hours ago. you couldn’t believe you let him do that, let him finger you in his car in the garage. no one had seen you and you were thankful for that but you wanted the ground to swallow you whole at the thought of someone possibly snitching on you. your father would lose his mind. “is- is it not what you want?”
“of course i do, but not today. baby steps, remember? we have all the time in the world. and i can assure you that i very much want you,” with one last peck on your lips, he removed himself from you and disappeared in his room. he wanted you. your heart was soaring at his confession. you were relieved to know that he was craving you as much as you were yearning for him. maybe you would indulge, just for a couple more times until you would inevitably have to cut off the relationship. you felt at peace with your decision, you told yourself. nothing good would come from false hope.
after washing up, you joined choso on the bed, shyly crawling towards him as he opened his arms and welcomed you. he pulled you into his chest, nearly crushing you with his weight. it made you giggle and squirm in his arms, trying to wiggle out of his hold. choso was having none of it, peppering kisses all over your face as he trapped you in place. gasping for air in between your carefree laughter, you weakly pushed at his head, squealing when he dove in to blow raspberries on your neck. he showed mercy and let up, instead curiously inspecting your neck as he pulled the neckline of your, no his, sweater down. something dark was glinting in his eyes as his eyes zoomed in on the hickeys he had left on your neck and chest - he felt strangely satisfied, pleased with his work of art. a sliver of possessiveness overcame him as he traced the trail of red marks on your neck, humming quietly.
“something wrong with my neck?” you questioned confused, not having spotted the hickeys yet. choso shook his head, simply laid back on his side again to look at you. “not at all. was just inspecting the hickeys i left on you.”
“you left marks?” you gaped at him, mildly shocked at the revelation. though he was preoccupied with your neck earlier, you didn’t expect him to actually leave so many marks, much less ones that were visible. “is… is that a common occurrence?”
“for couples? i think so. but i can’t speak for everyone; if it was me, i would do it frequently. stake my claim on you, let everyone know that you’re mine,” choso replied and casually draped the blanket over the two of you, as if he didn’t just admit to doing something he would normally do with a lover. did he think of you as his? you struggled to decipher his actions, not being able to match it with a specific reason.
“that’s uh-” your stuttering was interrupted by another horrifying thought. “oh god, i can’t let my parents see this, they will kill me.”
choso shot you a confused look. you hadn’t told him about your parents yet or how you were hiding this from them.
“my parents… especially my dad, are very cautious about letting me venture out in romantic relationships. it’s mostly because he didn’t feel like anyone was good enough for me and because he didn’t want me to get hurt. sometimes i felt like those princesses locked up in a tower, you know? so i decided to explore and uh, hired you. i didn’t want to burden my friends with having to help me gain some experience,” you explained to choso, eyes widening when he suddenly grabbed your hand and pressed a kiss to it. he winked at you cheekily before leaning over you to turn off the lights. you felt him press a gentle kiss to your lips but you couldn’t make out his face expression in the dark. choso preferred it like this, so you couldn’t tell the vulnerable look on his face, the ache of knowing that he could never fully be yours.
“then i’m glad i get to serve a princess such as you.”
“you’ve been spending an awful lot of time with choso,” nobara commented as she took a sip from her coffee, reaching out to grab one of the muffins you had ordered. you looked away in embarrassment. it’s been nearly two months since you’ve started to meet up with choso. your dates became more frequent, even the casual texting continued. and yet you hadn’t really told your friends about your progress or how you felt about him, either brushing it off or giving them vague details. it was only natural that nobara and maki grew suspicious, vowing to grill you about it the next time you would meet up. “have you done the deed?”
“n- no! not yet,” you answered hastily, the topic still making you feel bashful. though you had talked to choso about it; he had agreed and hinted that you might go all the way the next time you would meet up. it was weird, scheduling something like this. but you felt more at ease knowing that it was approaching and you could somewhat prepare your nerves for it. “we talked about it though… next time, maybe?”
“i see,” maki nodded slowly, deep in thought. “you’ve been skirting around this escort thing a lot. is there something you’re hiding from us?”
“nope! not at all!”
“y/n… we’re looking out for you as friends. i know you told us that you trust choso and that he’s the nicest person you have ever but is there something more?” maki gave you a gentle nudge. the serious look in her eyes told you that you better not give her a lame excuse. even nobara, who was usually playful in nature, looked mildly concerned. as much concern as she could muster up anyways. sheepishly, you stared at your mug, watching the milk swirl with your hot chocolate. surely, they would tell you to stop seeing him, to stay away. because catching feelings for someone whose true feelings and self you could never uncover… should have been something you could have prevented. if only it hadn’t been so easy to give in, so easy to develop feelings for choso.
“uhm. i just realized that i like him, like a lot. i know i shouldn’t and should have circumvented the issue somehow but now i’m stuck with my feelings. and it’s just confusing. before you get mad at me, i’ve already decided to cut it off after our next date. i can’t dwell on it for too long because realistically, nothing is going to happen.”
wordlessly, nobara gave you a hug, patting your back to soothe you. “is he really that great though?” maki lightly swatted nobara’s arm and gave her an eyeroll. her comment made you laugh, she knew how to lighten up a situation.
“i think so. very gentleman-like and just takes good care of everything. i really appreciate how well he’s been taking care of me this entire time. he just is the perfect boyfriend, you know?” nobara nodded but you could tell from her face that she was trying to put the puzzle pieces together. it made you laugh again, pinching her cheek playfully. you didn’t want to worry your friends too much. they always helped you in every situation and now it was time you would take care of everything yourself.
“i can’t believe this entire time we were trying to find you a perfect partner and you’ve gone and went the whole nine yards, boyfriend experience and heartbreak all together,” maki joked and ruffled your hair, giving you a reassuring smile. “you know we’re there for you if you need emotional support in this, right? we might not be much of a help while you go through the fake breakup but we can help you take your mind off afterwards.”
you sniffled a little at the thought. your next date was fast approaching and you were grateful to have such great friends, who would always look out for you and be understanding even if you made dumb mistakes. your next step would be to learn how to mend a broken heart.
everything had to be perfect. the entire evening you had been on the move, busy cleaning your apartment and room and spending time in the bathroom making yourself look presentable. you still felt nervous exposing all of you to choso, never had anyone seen you naked before. the thought of it had made you so anxious that you’d called nobara who promptly suggested you wear cute underwear and something comfy to ease yourself into it. chances were that choso didn’t really care and wouldn’t judge you anyways; he had always been generous with compliments, always telling you how pretty you looked, how cute you were, and what a good girl you were for him. you didn’t think you could feel so fired up from praises nor did you think that you would be craving to hear them so much until choso came along. the feeling of euphoria that overtook you whenever he praised you, along with the pleasure he gave you whenever you were fooling around - it was a deadly combination.
knocks at the door made you perk up, hastily racing over to the door to let choso in. he chuckled when you immediately wrapped your arms around his waist and buried your face in his chest. “hey baby, missed me much, huh? i missed you too,” choso admitted, softly combing his fingers through your hair. you peeked up at him from below, closing your eyes as you leaned into his touch like a cat. “mhmm, missed you a lot,” you mumbled, humming in content as choso pecked your lips briefly before waddling inside the apartment with you in his arms, closing the door behind him
“what am i going to do with you?” he mumbled amused and sat down on the couch, pulling you onto his lap. he squished your cheeks between his hands, kissing your pouty lips with a broad smile. “you always make it so hard for me to leave.”
your heart sunk at his last words, remembering how you were planning to proceed by the end of this date. surely, it couldn’t be so hard and he wouldn’t think much of it since it was all business anyways. and yet, you couldn’t help but seize up with dread, not wanting to hurt him. if, and only if he would actually be affected by it. you placed your hands on his, sticking your tongue out at him. you teased him: “you leave but you always return, right? doesn’t that give you something to look forward to?”
“yeah, always come bouncing back…” choso trailed off, a faraway look on his face. you couldn’t tell what he was thinking - each emotion that surfaced was only fleeting and quickly wiped from his face expression as if it never existed in the first place. perhaps he was keeping his heart as guarded as yours, for baring the most vulnerable parts of yourself could be your downfall. he ran his hands along your thighs, rubbing the bare skin gently, fingers teasingly slipping under the hem of your shorts. your breath hitched in your throat, expecting him to move his hands up further. but by now, choso knew how to play you like a fiddle, what drew beautiful moans out of you, what made you whimper in anticipation and how to build up tension. he knew how to tease you and use it to his advantage; knew well that you would follow his instructions like the good girl that you were, never disappointing him. “gotta take care of my princess, hm?”
choso dipped down, brushing the strands of your hair out of the way, showering it in kisses. you mewled quietly, tilting your head to the side to allow him more access to your neck. he was still murmuring between kisses, telling you how sweet you were, how he was going to make you sing his name, how he was going to take care of you. the whispered praises were getting to your head, you easily melted into his touch. “c- choso,” you gasped, already drowning in him as his presence clouded your senses, wrapping around you as if nothing else but him existed. “please touch me.”
“your wish is my command,” choso lifted you up as if you weighed nothing, carrying you to your bedroom with ease. gently, he dropped you on the bed, simply hovering over you without saying a word. the look in his eyes knocked the air out of your lungs; you loved his eyes, his dark brown eyes that were filled with so much warmth and love, now darkened and filled with lust. he observed you, waiting for you to make a move - you stayed still, tense with anticipation. with every single intimate encounter you had with him, you gradually learned that choso enjoyed being in control, overjoyed when you were obedient and remembered what he had told you. he liked having you at his mercy, being the first and only one to discover the expanse of your body, to pleasure you in ways you were yet to familiarize yourself with.
choso’s tapped your lips, carefully sliding two fingers in when you willingly parted your lips and sucked on them. the weight of his fingers on your tongue, the dazed look on his eyes as he watched you - it was all so erotic, so arousing. you lifted your hips, grinding against his thighs for some kind of relief. it drew a slightly irritated click of the tongue from choso, gently pressing his fingers against your tongue. but he enjoyed the view, seeing how you wanted him so much, how you were seeking relief by humping his thigh. you could already feel yourself soaking through your panties and your thin shorts, arousal smearing across choso’s thigh and leaving a wet spot on his jeans.
pulling his fingers out of your mouth, he slid them down, lower and lower, smearing your spit across your skin. his fingers stopped right at the buttons of your blouse, playfully rolling them between his fingers. slowly, he unbuttoned the blouse, pushing the fabric off your shoulders to reveal your bra. you squirmed, suddenly feeling shy and embarrassed about being so exposed in front of him. “you’re beautiful,” choso reminded you. “don’t hide from me. i want to see all of you.”
reluctantly, you kept your arms at your sides, instead clenching your fingers around the fabric of your comforter. teasingly, his hands dragged across the tops of your breasts before dipping lower. “look at you, how soaked you are already. you’ve even left a spot on my jeans. i haven’t even touched you properly yet… has my princess missed me this much?” he mused, gently rubbing circles across your skin. he was careful not to move anywhere close to your crotch, resolutely keeping his hand near your navel.
“yes, please touch me,” you mewled, grasping his hand to guide him towards the hem of your shorts. his hand splayed across your mound, rubbing in deliberately slow movements, making you sigh in relief. choso tugged on your shorts, dragging them down your legs with ease. you clenched your eyes shut, hiding your face behind your hands. choso stayed silent for a few seconds and simply admired you in the dim light of your room. he could tell that you'd chosen a nice set of underwear to impress him - you looked so cute in it, like a present waiting to be unwrapped. he took notice of the dark patch on the crotch of your panties, how they were clinging onto your skin and how your arousal was glistening on your inner thighs.
"you look breathtaking," choso complimented you, gently removing your hands from your face. "i told you not to hide, didn't i? give me all of you, baby."
you blinked a few times, sheepishly thanking him. his praises overwhelmed you, making your chest swell with pride. but still, you didn't know how to react when he was singing your praises, too bashful to reply coherently. choso removed your panties in painstakingly slow movements, leaving trails of kisses on your inner thighs up to your ankle. throwing your panties to the floor, he then pulled your legs over his shoulders. you watched him bewildered, not sure what to make of it. the position made you feel oddly exposed; all of your senses were heightened, strained to focus on choso only. the oversensitivity caused your hips to jerk when choso’s breath hit your pussy, keen on receiving attention. the swipe of his tongue on your slit was something you didn’t expect - the sensation was new, uncharted territory, so different from his fingers. it drew a whimper from your lips, making your toes curl against his back.
languidly, he was lapping at your folds, taking his time to get you used to the feeling. it wasn’t until his tongue dragged across your clit, lips wrapping around it to suck gently, that whines and whimpers spilled forth from your lips. your hips automatically lurched forward, rocking against his face. you couldn’t wrap your head around the pleasure it provided you, how it rendered you into a babbling mess with only his name on your lips like some mantra. needing to busy your hands otherwise, you clenched your fingers around his hair, subconsciously pressing his face into your pussy. choso groaned against you, the slight burn turning him on beyond relief. you felt like you’re floating, higher and higher, rapidly approaching your high and it was still a feeling you’re trying to get used to, a feeling that you readily welcomed and craved.
it was a combination of all the touches that bring you closer to the edge; how he was sucking at your clit before flattening his tongue against your clit, paying close attention to it, how it was repeatedly and rapidly dragging across your folds. it made you sob, begging him to make you cum. choso pulled you even closer, fingers digging into your thighs as he lapped at your swollen clit, again and again until you come with a loud moan, barch arching from the bed, heels digging into choso’s shoulder blades. clenching your eyes shut, you attempted to push his face away from you, now feeling too sensitive. your legs were trembling uncontrollably, you gasped for air as your high washes over you and slowly ebbing away. choso sat up on his knees and only then you see the arousal smeared across his chin and lips. the sight sent electric shocks up your spine, breath hitching in your throat. he looked so fucking hot like this. he gave you no time to be embarrassed about it, wiping the slick off his skin and licking it off his hands.
“c- choso, what-” you croaked, voice all raspy from your relentless moaning. choso didn’t reply, instead kissed you open mouthed - the taste of your arousal was still present on his tongue. in the back of your mind, you thought about how dirty it was and yet so thrilling, eliciting a hunger for him. desperately, you were tugging at his shirt, trying to get it off. you were struggling, huffing in frustration as he didn’t budge. choso laughed, pecking your lips apologetically before taking it off along with his pants. even in the dim light you could make out the bulge in his pants, a testament of much he wanted you. the sight made you salivate, your pussy clenching around nothing. he took notice of your dazed look, grabbing your chin to tilt it up. “are you sure you want this? do you want me?”
you nodded quickly, eyes widening at his question. “of course, i want you, never wanted anything more. please, choso.”
“you have me, all of me,” he retorted, a tender look in his eyes. again, your heart clenched. just one more time you would get to see him like this, pretend he really was your lover. but when he looked at you with so much adoration in his eyes, it was hard to believe that there wasn’t a spark between you. unbeknownst to you, choso had always looked at you with stars in his eyes, hoping that you would return the sentiment. no matter how hard he was keeping his feelings at bay, the cracks were widening, allowing more and more feelings to seep through. with each touch, each word that you exchanged, the dam was weakening and threatening to spill everything that he was keeping inside.
choso gently pressed you back down onto the mattress, fingers fumbling with the condom that he’d pulled out of his jeans. you watched with fascination as he put it on, not being able to take your gaze of it. he grinned, deciding to indulge you, pressing his cock against you. arousal was still leaking from you, allowing him to easily slide against you. deliberately, he nudged the head against your clit until you couldn’t take it anymore. you wiggled your hips, signaling him to do something, do put you out of your misery. choso glanced at you for permission, suddenly seeming to be nervous himself. you gave him a small nod, leaning up to cradle his cheeks and kiss him. choso began to push, slowly slipping past your folds and- the stretching burn, it was there again and made you tense up.
choso grasped your hands, intertwining them and showered your face with kisses, whispering sweet nothings and encouragement. the feeling was familiar and yet strange at the same time, the girth of his fingers were nothing compared to his cock. it was a tight fit; you were aware of him, so aware of him. muffled, you heard choso telling you to relax, that he didn’t want to hurt you, to take your time. he was still pushing, distracting you from the uncomfortable pain with kisses. with one last thrust, he’s pushed the entirety of him in you. faintly, you could feel pain gradually ebbing away. the fullness of him, the throbbing; you clenched around him, a quiet moan leaving your lips as choso’s hips jerk in response.
“you okay? can i move now?” he whispered against your lips. you nodded, feeling choso smile against your lips. your breath hitched in anticipation as he pulls out ever so slightly before thrusting back in. you let out a whimper at the sudden thrum of incoming pleasure, hands squeezing his. choso thrusted his length in and out of you slowly, still wanting you to get used to it. the drag of it against your walls, the way his cock ever so slightly bumped against that spot inside of you that made your body sing - you sobbed out his name, hips tilting up to meet his movements. choso had no qualms obliging to your unspoken wants, upping the pace once he’s made sure you felt comfortable.
slowly, his inhibitions fell apart upon seeing you desperately cling onto him, moaning out his name as he pulled out and drove back in, deeper than before. you saw stars when he hit the spot inside of you, burying himself inside of you completely. it’s been a short amount of time but choso was quick to figure out what made you shake in pleasure in particular, memorizing every little nudge and wiggle that would have you gasp out his name. the closeness, the intimacy, it easily beat everything else that you’ve ever done before but it was now that you realized that no one could compare to choso. while your initial goal was to simply learn and gain some experience, somewhere along the way, you veered off the path. perhaps your goal was never to find out what it was like engaging in sexual activities but rather to experience it with someone you loved. it was then that you realized you didn’t care about these things unless you could experience them with choso.
while choso was no stranger to having people in his bed, the sight of you was one he would never be able to get out of his head again. how your moans and whimpers were getting more frequent with each thrust, how you were sobbing his name whenever he hit particularly deep inside of you, how your small hands were holding onto his, how you clenched around him whenever he praised you. he wanted to keep you for himself, to impale himself in you in such ways that you could never look at other people the same way anymore. “i- i’m close,” you hiccuped between sobs, back lurching from the bed. “choso, p- please, i wanna cum, i-”
“i’ve got you, princess,” he assured you, diving down to kiss you feverishly. relentlessly, his hips pistoned against yours, desperate to make you cum. choso couldn’t hold back any longer, he was close, so close. wanting to cum with you, he reached down to rub your clit. your reaction was almost instantaneous, legs pressing against his side as you came, his name on your lips like a prayer. he came with you, burying his face in the crook of your neck as groans left his lips, mixed with your name and curses. his hips stuttered as they pressed against you one last time, staying in place until he’s spilled all of him in the condom. you felt like you were floating, still dazed from the intensity of your orgasm. absentmindedly, you wrapped your arms around his neck, hand absentmindedly playing with the hair at his nape. choso let out a noise, akin to a cat’s purr, nudging his head against your hand. his gesture made you giggle and you strained your neck to press a kiss against his forehead.
slowly, choso removed himself from you, letting out a breathy laugh as you protested. you made grabby hands at him but he simply tutted, disappearing in the bathroom to dispose of the condom and came back with a wet towel. it felt comforting, the warmth of the towel as well as his gentle touches, lulling you into a sleepy state. it didn’t take long for him to join you again once he was done, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his chest like the countless times he’s done so before. “how are you feeling? i didn’t hurt you, did i?”
you shook your head, trying to find the right words. in the end, nothing came into your mind to appropriately tell him how mind blowingly good he made you feel so you just settle with: “felt good, really good. didn’t hurt, jus’ felt uncomfortable at first. but you made it okay, it’s okay when it’s with you.”
“i see,” choso let out a relieved breath, laughing as you blinked at him stunned. you looked adorable, still floating and coming down from your high. “i’m glad i was your first, glad i could do it justice. just wanted you to feel good.”
“mhmm, thank you,” you slurred sleepily, arms wrapping around his waist. you felt so warm and loved, not wanting to let go of the feeling just yet. “can we do it again some other day? you promised to show me what you still wanted to do to me.”
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“y/n, sweetheart, when will you be coming to visit us again? i know it’s your summer break right now and you’re busy but we thought it might be nice to go on a short family trip. what do you think?” your mother pleaded over the phone. you could see her pout on the screen, her attempt at guilt tripping you into visiting more. truthfully, you felt bad about not having been able to see your family so much - the amount of assignments and final exams was swamping you and you just wanted to get through them before going on vacation. that and the fact that you couldn’t properly look them in the eyes anymore ever since being with choso.
you just couldn’t let go of him, nor could you admit your feelings to him, in fear it would make him uncomfortable. it was irrational, reckless even, to keep paying for a service you technically didn’t need anymore. simply to keep a person you had feelings for around for longer. nobara and maki didn’t know about this either, you knew they would have your head as soon as you confessed. it was irrational and you knew it. and yet it was so hard to let go. with every waking moment, you craved choso, his tenderness and loving gaze, the warmth of his arms, the domesticity that the two of you shared, how natural it seemed when you spent time together. and so you kept returning to him, over and over again
“i’m sorry, mum, i’m just really busy right now. but i promise i’ll let you know when i’m free, okay? i’m sure we can find a fitting date for the trip,” you attempted to soothe your mother, giving her an apologetic smile. she rolled her eyes at you playfully but shrugged it off, knowing that you didn’t mean anything by it. before you could tell her goodbye, your mother suddenly stopped you, waving at the screen.
“sweetheart, one of my friends- her son, i told him about you. he’s a very nice young man and i think you would get along well. when you come visit us, i’ll introduce him to you, yeah?” she explained, a giddy smile creeping onto her lips. “i’ve told him a little about you and your father doesn’t mind either. he has a good background too, i’m trying not to swoon.” she giggled as if she was the one who was to be set up on a date with him.
your eyes widened ever so slightly at her revelation but what shocked you more was that choso had seemingly heard what your mother had said. he was still sleeping when your mother had called you, so you hid in the kitchen to talk, not wanting to disturb his sleep. he stood in the doorway, blinking at you confused. you made sure to turn a little so your mother couldn’t see him. “mum, i told you i’m not really interested yet and want to go at my own pace-”
“honey, i know but the opportunity was just there. i couldn’t pass it up and you can still reject him, no? just try to meet him at least once.”
you sighed. “we’ll talk about it again when i’m home, okay? but don’t put too much hope in it, please.”
“i know, i know. i’ll talk to you again another day. love you, sweetheart,” your mum said goodbye to you and hung up. you groaned, tossing your phone to the side and buried your face in your hands. choso was not supposed to hear any of that. even though you two weren’t really in a relationship, and he had assured you that he wasn’t sleeping with anyone else, keeping his work at accompanying clients only, you still felt like you were somewhat betraying him. you felt choso’s presence moving behind you, then his arms wrapping around you, his chin being placed on your head. you couldn’t see the slightly irritated look in his eyes, the jealous glint that told you he didn’t want you to look at anyone but him.
“your mum seems to be eager to find you a partner,” he commented amused. you groaned, swatting at his arm.
“i don’t know why they’re suddenly so persistent after not deeming anyone as suitable for years,” grumbling, you turned slightly, pressing a kiss to choso’s chin. “i’m not really in the mood to go on dates just yet, so she’ll have to deal with it.”
“not in the mood for dates?” choso echoed, pinching your cheek. “not even with me?”
you whined, burying your face in his chest. you didn’t want to let him see how his words excited you. “no, i’m always in the mood for you, for dates with you.”
“that’s good to know. we’re going out later after all,” choso laughed, combing his fingers through your hair. “i did promise to take you to the beach and teach you how to surf.”
one of the reasons you didn’t come visit your parents immediately when your summer break began was because you’d already planned a short trip with choso. weeks ago choso had proposed you’d go to the beach together and you were thrilled by the idea, not having been by the sea in years. you’d rented a little cabin by the beach for the two of you while choso had prepared everything for the car ride. the car ride would be rather long but you weren’t worried about it at all - in the beginning, you’d been apprehensive, rather awkward with him. he eased you into everything, showing you not to be scared of relationships and to just be yourself. conversation was easy with him as if you’d been long term friends, with no worries or restrictions. for weeks, you’d looked forward to the trip, to spend more time with him.
the car ride was filled with laughter and calming music, you shared stories and secrets with each other, you fed him the snacks that you’d made the night before. you felt blissful, happily ignoring all the consequences that might be coming your way - you wanted to enjoy your time with him as much as you could. the dance that the two of you were engaging in, it was romantic and felt so domestic, while skirting around the important issue. inspecting your intertwined hands, you clasped your other free hand around his, rubbing the skin gently. choso shot you a concerned, questioning look but you brushed him off, assuring that nothing was wrong. “i’m just happy to be sharing this uh… boyfriend experience with you, really. i wouldn’t wanna do it with someone else.”
choso shot you a wistful smile, lifting your hand to press a kiss on it. “i’m glad you feel that way. you deserve only the best, someone who treats you like the princess that you are.”
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the feeling of the grainy sand below you, wind blowing your hair in every direction, sun on your skin, water splashing against your shins - you felt like suddenly all your worries were washed away. you were still running through the shallow water, giggling as you saw choso catching up on you. upping your speed, you jumped through the water until he managed to grab you by your wrist, pulling you into his chest. he lifted you up, twirling you around in his arms a few times before setting you back on your feet, leaning in to kiss you. “you can’t just run away like that, all our stuff is still stranded over there,” he scolded you, playfully flicking your forehead. you glanced behind you, seeing how choso had already placed all the towels, cooler and bags on the beach chairs.
“it’s okay, we have the beach to ourselves anyways,” you retorted cheekily. choso couldn’t argue, instead rolled his eyes. the beach house that you had rented for the weekend was on the outskirts of the city, a rather quiet spot that also had a private beach. the paranoia that your parents might possibly spot you somewhere was running deep and so you didn’t want to risk anything. choso could teach you how to surf in peace, without any bystanders or crowded spaces. but now that you were sitting on the beach chair, you noticed that choso’s mind seemed to be elsewhere as he clumsily fumbled with the bags. you gnawed at your bottom lip, hoping that your earlier conversation with your mother wasn’t on his mind.
“you okay there? can i help you with anything?”
“huh? yeah,” choso answered after a second of processing, shaking his head. “uh i just get distracted looking at you. you look good in that bikini.”
“oh shut up,” you retorted but hid your face from him, still growing bashful even though you were used to him complimenting you out of nowhere. he shot you a wink, resuming his work. “but… choso, you can talk to me if anything bothers you, you know that?”
“yeah, i know… but don’t worry, i think this is something i have to figure out for myself first before i tell anyone,” he padded over, kissing your forehead. “but i appreciate it.”
deciding to drop the topic, you joined him, watching how he demonstrated his surfing skills. if he didn’t want to talk about it, you would respect it; and maybe, just maybe, he would open up to you about it. you watched as choso surfed through the waves, the sight filling you with bright happiness. he looked so happy to be surfing again, the usual tired look on his face wiped away as if it had never been there in the first place. he looked like he was truly at home, comforted and surrounded by the crashing waves. you understood what he meant by being distracted - choso looked good in his trunks as well, the water drops that were rolling down his body, his exposed upper body, the way his loose, slightly damp hair was falling over his face. you very much enjoyed the sight and almost felt creepy for staring so much.
as per usual, choso was a wonderful teacher, remaining calm and patient while he gave you instructions, comforting you when you weren’t doing so well and was always right by your side encouraging you. you hadn’t had this much fun in a while, especially not with someone other than from your close friend circle. it was easy to lose the track of time when being with him, all your thoughts and anxieties washed away like the seashells at the shore. by the end of the day, you were utterly exhausted, your muscles feeling like jelly. as you laid on the bed, you still felt like you were rocked and swayed back and forth by the waves. it was relaxing, almost lulling you into a deep slumber if it wasn’t for the sound of the running shower and choso’s humming. you opened the window, before returning to bed, wrapping the blanket around you. the sound of waves sloshing against the shore echoed through the room, making you feel like you were actually sleeping at the beach.
it didn’t take long for choso to return; you felt the bed dip beside you before you heard him. pretending to be asleep, you waited until he said anything but were instead greeted with a kiss on your nape. you squirmed a little, the feelings of his lips tickling the sensitive skin. a giggle broke from your lips, unable to stay silent any longer. “did i make you wait for too long?” he asked quietly, grabbing you by the hips to turn you around to face him. you shook your head and gave him a smile, leaning in to peck his lips. “no but i did miss you. did i tell you that i now get what you meant by being distracted? you looked really hot in your trunks and so serious while giving me instructions.”
“ah, really?” choso hovered over you, placing his hands beside your head. you’d only offered simple compliments but he was already so fired up, making you grin. “you can’t just tell me that and expect me not to do anything. don’t you know that i’m always hungry for you? i’ll ravish you right here.”
“what if i want you to ravish me?” you bravely retorted, your voice slightly cracking at the end. rarely were you ever bold with him but at this moment, you might as well indulge him. as an reward for teaching you how to surf and being so patient about it. choso clicked with his tongue, pleased with your reply. before he could move, you suddenly felt an urge to go further, wanting to be the one to initiate intercourse for once. you placed your hands on his chest, pushing gently. he looked at you confused, cocking his head to the side. if it wasn’t for the hungry look in his eyes, you would’ve cooed at how adorable he looked. “uhm can i… suck you off for today? i mean you’re always the one who- who makes me feel so good and i know you said you liked it but i just wanted to return the favour…”
choso short circuited at your request, momentarily leaving his mouth wide open as he stared at you. “y- yeah of course, if that’s what you want,” he spluttered hastily, sitting up on his knees. feeling giddy, you shuffled off the bed, positioning yourself at the edge of the bed and waiting for him to move. choso gulped, slowly moving towards the edge. he leaned down to kiss you, your hands snaked towards the waistband of his sweatpants, some doubt overcame you again, slowing your movements. sensing your hesitation, he patted your head and ruffled your hair. “you don’t have to do it, if you feel too nervous about it.”
“no, i want to, really,” you assured him, grasping the waistband and dragging it down. choso lifted his hips slightly, helping you remove his pants. his boxers followed soon after. gently, you wrapped your hands around his semi-hard cock, giving it some gentle strokes. choso exhaled shakily, leaning back on his hands as he kept his watchful eyes on you. you leaned in, flattening your tongue against the underside, running your tongue over the underside, tracing it until you reached the cockhead. gingerly, you gave it a few kitten licks before wrapping your lips around it. hands still stroking him, you delved in, taking as much as much as you could. choso tilted his head back, moaning loudly. it spurred you on, eagerly you bopped your head against him, paying close attention to the sensitive head as you licked and sucked at it. curiously, you licked the slit, tasting the precum on it. the taste was unfamiliar, nothing like you’d ever had before but you weren’t sure what to make of it. but you weren’t grossed out by it, thankfully.
choso’s hips jerked when you touched a particularly sensitive spot, not being able to control his own body anymore. usually, he was more composed, holding himself back for the sake of you - immediately, he stopped and apologized, staring at you with wide eyes. “fuck, i’m so sorry, that wasn’t meant to happen. did i hurt you?” he cupped your cheek, guiltily examining you.
“‘m okay, don’t worry about it. it just surprised me a little, that’s all. but if it’s what you like… i uh, don’t mind,” you reassured him.
“f- fuck, you can’t just say that because i will and-”
“like i said, i don’t mind. i want to make you feel good too.” reluctantly, choso nodded and relaxed again, letting you proceed. you were eager to make him cum, enthusiastically moving your head along the shaft. you welcomed choso’s shallow thrusts, glancing up to watch his reactions. his skin was beautifully flushed, eyes were closed, groans muffled as he bit his bottom lip. you struggled to take his cock in deeper, instead wrapping your hands around the parts you couldn’t reach. when choso’s thrusts got sloppier, you could tell that he was getting close.
“y/n, fuck- i’m gonna- wait, you-” unable to finish his sentence, he moaned, hips stuttering again as you swirled your tongue around the sensitive tip. you suckled on his length eagerly, hands pumping the base faster and choso couldn’t keep it in any longer, coming with a loud moan. you continued suckling on the tip, helping him through his orgasm until he’s spilled all of him in your mouth. sitting back on your knees, you removed yourself from him.
eyes wide and glossy, you looked up at him as he pulled away slightly so he could look at you. choso brushed your hair back, then lifted your chin up, tapping your bottom lip. "show me," he said in a low, hoarse voice, patiently waiting until you opened your mouth and showed him. showed him his cum that was still pooling on your tongue. a few seconds passed until he finally reacted - just the sight of you on your knees, obediently following his orders and showing him your work had his insides stirring with something dark, possessive. "swallow," he whispered, adoringly cupping your cheek as you eagerly swallowed. your face felt hot, whether by embarrassment or pride, you didn't know. quietly cursing, he pulled you up while leaning down, meeting your lips halfway.
unceremoniously, choso dropped you on the bed, making you giggle quietly as you bounced on the mattress. hovering over you, he captured your lips in yet another kiss. you wrapped your arms around his neck, hugging him to your body. choso pressed his groin against yours, experimentally rolling his hips to elicit a reaction from you. burying your face into the crook of his neck, you couldn’t help but writhe from the pleasure - and even though you’ve been sleeping with each other, you still felt too shy to ask him for… more. how could you express what exactly you wanted when you were craving all of him? when you wanted to engrave everything into your brain; the feeling of his body against yours, his touch, the sweet as well as the dirty words he whispered into your ear. it was almost unfair how easily he could draw a reaction from you, as if he’d memorized every little aspect about you already.
choso nipped at your neck, about to leave a mark when you frantically pushed at his chest. “no visible marks, i told you!” you reminded him, almost feeling bad when you saw his disappointed face. but rules were rules, you didn’t want your parents to find out you were sneaking around with someone; you were barely able to look into their eyes as is. he huffed against your neck, burying his face in the crook of your neck in frustration. seconds passed without a reaction before he finally sat up on his knees, hands reaching out to tug on your shirt. “but everywhere else is fine, hm?” he mused, dragging his warm hands across your chest to your shoulder to push the fabric off.
“i- i guess,” you spluttered, barely having any time to react as he’s already moved on, lavishing your breasts with kisses while leaving a trail of hickeys on them. you whimpered, hips rolling up against his. through your panties, you could feel the outlines of his cock; the anticipation of him filling you up made you salivate. choso was quick to remove your panties and rolling a condom on upon hearing your desperate whimpers that were urging him to move faster. no matter how many times you’d already slept together, he could never get enough of you - you made him feel like a teenager again, like he was constantly insatiable and hungry for you. judging from the look in your eyes, you seemed to feel the same way.
choso angled his cock against your entrance before sinking in, moaning in unison with you. he grasped your hands, pinning them against the pillows as you reached out, trying to touch him. you sobbed in disappointment, just wanting to feel him but choso was having none of it. the complaint was quickly forgotten when he started thrusting, the sound of his hips smacking against yours filling the room. he was diligent, hitting that spot inside you over and over again, enjoying how your legs that were wrapped around his waist were trembling. you were drowning, drowning in him, in the pleasure he so graciously provided you. choso painted your chest with marks, placing them dangerously close to where they would be peeking out underneath clothes. he knew you didn’t want anyone to see them but fuck, he wanted people to keep their hands away from you, wanted them to know that you were his.
you sung his praises, hips quickly bucking against his as he buries himself in you to the hilt. he filled you up so well, always dragging against your walls so deliciously. almost feral, choso fucked you harder, putting all his frustrations and emotions into the strength of his thrusts. it left you feeling breathless, clenching around him hard as you climbed higher and higher. never had choso fucked you like this before, like he was trying to prove something - you sobbed, tears springing forth from the intensity. it felt good, so good and you wanted to cum so bad, wanted to release. the pleasant warmth was spreading throughout your body, almost unbearably hot as you neared your climax. it erupted within you explosively, leaving you writhing in a babbling, incoherent mess. for many moments, your orgasm wrecked through you, making you see white and stars. in your euphoria, you didn’t notice how choso had cummed with you, whispering sweet praises in your ear as he rode you through your high. you didn’t notice how he disappeared, returning with a wet towel as per usual, how he kisses away the tears at the corner of your eyes. through your hazy mind, you could tell that he wrapped the blanket around you before disappearing again.
it took you a while to return back to your senses, marvelling about the sex you just had. what had possessed choso in that moment? could it be because you’d offered to suck him off? or was he so pent up the entire day? the click of the door made you lift your head towards the source of the sound, cooing when you saw choso padding towards you. he yawned quietly, crawling under the blanket and wrapping his arms around you. "exhausted?" you questioned him, nuzzling into him.
"mhmm, i feel like i could sleep in until noon tomorrow," as usual, he ran his fingers along your spine, drawing shapes on your back. sometimes you thought you could feel him spelling something out on your skin but the touches were always so fleeting that it was impossible for you to make it out. whatever it was, he must've been too wary or scared to share it with you. you were reminded of your earlier conversation - choso still hadn't said anything so you wanted to bring it up, not wanting any issues to arise between you.
"choso? do you want to talk about what was wrong earlier? i know you said you wanted to think about it, but i was wondering…"
choso interrupted you. "are you going to go on a date with the guy that your mum mentioned this morning?"
you shot him a bewildered look. so he had been thinking about it. you hesitated, not sure what to tell him. should you be upfront and tell him how you feel? or give him a mild version, so he didn't feel cornered by you?
"i'm… i'm not sure yet. the thought of going on a date with someone else is kind of daunting but i think i'll do it just so my mum's happy."
"i see." uncomfortable silence seeped between the two of you. you could tell that choso was irritated, the frown on his face clearly indicating it. and yet, he didn't elaborate, leaving you to figure out what he meant by that. not daring to move, you stayed still, waiting for him to continue. choso sighed, placing his forehead against yours. "i think this is selfish of me but i can't stand the thought of seeing you with someone else. i wish… i wish it was only me that you looked at."
"you don't want me to go on a date with him?"
"yeah. i- i can't tell you why that is. it's selfish and dumb, hence why i didn't want to tell you. and it's not something that you should worry about. i'm just your escort after all, there's nothing more between us."
his words stung. even though it was the truth, the words still stung, driving a knife right into your heart. it was the very thing that nobara and maki had warned you about. but here you were, heart breaking in a million pieces. perhaps it was the fact that choso didn't tell you the reason, didn't seem to trust you with it, that made you recoil immediately. the walls around your heart were immediately put back into place, safeguarding you from any further harm. he wasn’t obligated to tell you anything and you knew that - there was probably also another reason why he felt that way. any further digging would probably make him recoil as well, it wouldn’t do you any good. whatever was growing between you, it had to stop now. choso simply saw you as a client, probably had been this entire time. again, you were reminded of the fact that he might have been acting this entire time, none of the affection he showed you ever being real.
“i- yeah… i guess,” you replied dejectedly, looking away from him. “i’ll figure it out with him, don’t worry. i’ll just keep my mum happy with it, there’s nothing more to it.”
choso bit his lip, refraining from replying to it any further. you already knew more than you were ever supposed to, he should have never let it slip that he didn’t like seeing you with other potential love interests. it pained him to keep this hidden, keep it a secret from you - but the less you knew, the better. he couldn’t imagine you being okay with being in a relationship with him while he was still an escort, nor did he think that your parents would be thrilled about it. from what you’d revealed to him, he could tell that they treasured you and wanted to minimize any possible harm as much as possible. and that included hand-picking a suitable partner for you. he might never be what your parents envisioned for you and he might never become your love interest so every session that you booked was a blessing to him.
sighing, he placed one last kiss on your cheek before wishing you a good night. but even when he closed his eyes and tried to sleep, he was wide awake, not being able to stop the onslaught of thoughts.
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weeks passed without you ever contacting choso again. your resolve would have never been this strong, hadn’t nobara intervened. while you were moping and still feeling restless, helpless even, she made sure to delete his number and made you take care of the bills before cutting off contact entirely. normally, she would have commented on it - but seeing how you were struggling through your first heartbreak, she decided to let it be. and because maki wouldn’t have hesitated to have her head if you’d ever snitched. maki had encouraged you to take your mind off things, dragging you along to some of the sports classes she attended. it did lift your mood ever so slightly, much to your surprise, it was more fun that you’d originally anticipated. maki attended so many different classes that seemed so intense that you were scared to join at first. in between the classes, you spent more time with your friends. gradually you opened up to them, explaining them the entire issue with choso and how you had struggled to let go. you told them one by one, until it was finally time to let megumi know.
out of everyone, megumi scared you the most - not because he was intimidating or violent but because you knew how he would react. he’d most definitely be upset about it because he was protective over his friends, not wanting them to be harmed in any way. you’d pleaded that at least nobara should tag along to knock some sense into him, should he snap - but megumi’s reaction surprised you. when you finished your story, he was awfully quiet. you assumed he was boiling in anger, reaching out to appease him but he was frowning, making a contemplative face. “uh listen, i think that choso’s yuuji’s brother.”
“he’s what?” nobara’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. megumi had recently started going out with someone that he’d met during work and though he hadn’t introduced you to said person yet, you did know that his name was yuuji.
“yuuji’s brother. i haven’t met him yet but he’s been complaining about his brother for weeks now,” megumi explained, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. “choso’s an escort, right? it has to be yuuji’s brother. i’ve stayed over at yuuji’s place a couple of times… yuuji was venting, asking me about advice on how to get his brother out of a rut. apparently, choso’s been affected by this uh… somewhat breakup as well. yuuji’s suggested to him that he should reach out to you to talk but he said something about his work and your parents...”
“huh. what an interesting coincidence…” nobara mumbled but narrowed her eyes at you. “but you’re not going back to him, right?”
all the blood in your body froze. why had choso brought up your parents? they had never been a part of your relationship, you had only told him how overprotective they were and how they liked choosing your partners and friends for you. could it be?
“no, i don’t think so. i’m… very conflicted about our feelings to each other. it was stupid to give into my feelings for him in the first place. i hired someone to act as my fake boyfriend, someone who does this for a living. i think they know better than to catch feelings for their clients,” you sighed frustrated, shaking your head. there was no way in hell this situation could ever turn back around, even if you now knew that choso had also been affected. and still, he never reached out to me, you thought bitterly.
“i think you should talk it out though, if he does reach out to you,” megumi chimed in, awkwardly patting your shoulder in an attempt to comfort you. “from what yuuji’s told me, it does seem like his feelings are genuine. he didn’t outright push you away, right? who knows what could happen?”
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in the end, you couldn’t help but confess to your parents. secrets were bound to be revealed one way or another and you figured it was better you opened up before they found out from someone else. the uncomfortable silence that spread through your apartment created a gloomy atmosphere; the tension was thick and palpable, making you shuffle in your seat in unease. your father hadn’t uttered any word while your mother had completely lost it, not understanding why you hadn’t instead chosen one of the boys she’d always introduced you to.
“all this time you were seeing this boy? and not once did you let us know. i could have asked my friend if they knew someone, their sons are so nice-”
“mum, i already told you i wanted to find someone on my own without having my options being presented to me on a silver plate. and you’re always so disappointed when i end up rejecting them after going through all of the hassle,” you interrupted her, giving her a defiant look. it wasn’t often that you opposed your parents like this but you felt like it was needed - your mother didn’t understand you, nor did she try. you were an adult, for fuck’s sake. you were very much capable of making your own decisions and mistakes to learn from.
“and yet you went to hire an escort! why didn’t you go and meet some of your classmates? i don’t understand why you went such lengths and then even ended up falling in love with them! how would you even pursue a relationship with them?” your mother seethed at you, knuckles blanching from how hard she was gripping her handbag. your father placed a hand on hers, whispering some soothing words in her ear.
“darling, i think y/n knows well that she’s made a mistake and is hurting from it. we don’t need to add to the stress, do we?” he assured her, then looking at you. “y/n, you know that i’m disappointed in you as well. but i don’t blame you for it, i think it’s partly my fault that you felt the need to hire an escort just to… gain some experience. i did take away all your possibilities of a relationship after all…”
“don’t encourage her! this problem won’t just be solved by you spoiling her again, do you know what kind of consequences it could h-”
a loud knock interrupted your mother’s rambling. you were confused - you didn’t expect anyone else for today. it was too late for someone to bring packages. who could it be? you excused yourself, padding towards the door to see who it was. you swore that you briefly suffered from a heart attack when the door swung open to reveal choso. he stared at you equally as stunned, seemingly not having expected you to open and greet him. “w- what are you doing here?” you asked, hating how shaky your voice sounded. how your heart soared, having missed his presence around you. the feelings had never been properly buried, only hidden by a thin layer of pretense that was now quickly being washed away.
“i’m sorry for just turning up unannounced… i was hoping- hoping to be able to talk to you for a bit? i wanted to explain myself,” choso replied, unaware of the two persons in your apartment that were straining their necks to be able to get a look at him.
you groaned. why now? the timing was just too comical, fate must really hate you. “i’m sorry, my parents are here right now. maybe, another t-”
“aha, so this is the boy my daughter has been sleeping with,” your mother appeared behind you, snarling at choso maliciously. panicking, your father had followed her quickly, holding her back by her arm. “you have some nerve appearing here as if nothing happened, what is it that you-”
“darling.” your father cleared his voice, shooting daggers at her. “there’s no need to be rude.”
swiftly, he introduced himself and your mother to choso, politely shaking his hand. choso remained calm, as usual, and introduced himself as well. if he was shocked by the entire ordeal, he sure didn’t show it. his face remained a perfect poker face, no emotions seeping through. “i wanted to talk to your daughter, ma’am. i assume she’s told you about our relationship and how we broke apart. there is no ulterior motive here, i just wanted to explain myself and talk it out.”
your father interrupted your mother again, not giving her another opportunity to spit venom at choso. “i think that is a good idea. though she has not opened up about everything, i can tell that she is hurting as much as you are. i believe a discussion would be very productive. but what is your intention? what are you going to do once you’ve explained yourself?”
suddenly, you felt like you were forgotten or invisible in the entire discussion. were they ignoring you? you were standing right there and yet no one was addressing you. you huffed, trying to pull their focus back on you. “nothing’s gonna happen, dad. there was nothing for us to work with and there won’t be.”
choso felt like he’d been slapped. he didn’t know what to make of your reaction but he came here for one reason only: to give you the closure that you deserved and he wasn’t going to leave until he accomplished just that. “i intend to apologize to her. judging from your wife’s reaction, you don’t seem to like me very much. i can’t imagine you would ever accept me, i know i don’t live up to your standards. i don’t deserve your daughter, she deserves so much more than what i can offer. and i’m aware of it. but if she’s willing to have me, i’ll try my very best to live up to your standards, to prove myself to you. i just want to be with her and make her happy. i’m in love with her and that’s what i intended to tell her.”
your heart stopped at his confession. all this time, choso loved you? megumi had been right all along. choso returned your feelings and he was here, so close and yet so far. dread filled you as you realized your parents could possibly drive him away, make him disappear from your life with just a snap of their fingers. you cherished choso more than you were aware of, the adoration running deep in your veins even when you were trying to reject him.
“i see. that’s reason enough for me. we’ve already let her have a piece of our mind, i don’t think she needs more telling off. my little girl has grown so much and it’s time to let her make her own decisions, growing and mistakes,” your father shot your mother a look. she’d calmed down, choso’s explanation seemingly having brought her back to her senses. she looked away, not wanting to look him in the eyes. “we’ll let you deal with this. but know that if she does take you back, i won’t go easy on you, alright? the bars are high and i don’t intend to lower them just because you love her. prove to me, that you’re worthy of her.”
“i will,” choso sounded so sure and confident that it made your father grin - you sure had found someone who took great care of you and wasn’t afraid to stand tall in front of your father. and that he liked, someone who wasn’t scared to back down from a challenge, someone who would be the perfect partner for you. as your parents said goodbye and left, he gave choso a pat on the shoulder before exiting the apartment, leaving the two of you to your own devices.
you didn’t know what to say, how to start. standing in the hallway was awkward but you couldn’t move just yet, instead wanting to hear what he had to say first. “you love me?” you croaked, your voice failing you. now that your parents were gone, you could freely show your emotions, not being able to hold the tears back any longer. choso panicked, fussing over you as you started to cry. furiously, you wiped the tears away with the sleeves of your sweater.
“i do. i uhm wish i had found a better way to tell you this. i figured that you probably thought that everything we did was simply a facade but i promise you that it was all real. i don’t know when exactly but i started falling for you along the way and it was hard… to remind myself that you were a client and i was just there to provide the service to you, you know? i had no right to get mad at you if you decided to go and see other people. and i wasn’t sure of your feelings for me, it was…” choso trailed off, struggling to find the right word but you knew what he meant and nodded, signaling him to continue. “i just didn’t want to tie you to me when you… when you might not like me back or even want to be with an escort.”
you sniffled quietly, wrapping your arms around him immediately, with such a speed that it almost knocked the air out of his lungs. confused, choso wrapped his arms around you, tucking your head under his chin and rubbing your back soothingly. he was relieved that you didn’t push him away at least and let him explain everything in one go. he felt more at ease now and was at peace with the decision to immediately leave and never butt in your life again in case you rejected him.
“all this time, i also loved you,” you mumbled, an upset frown on your face. “i- i just kept thinking that you’d never return my feelings and that you were just playing boyfriend because i hired you to do so and-”
you hiccuped, another sob tearing from your throat.
“when you told me not to go on that date and immediately followed it with you only being my escort and nothing more, it hurt me so much and i know it was stupid and childish of me to react in such a way but… i was just spiraling, i love you so much and didn’t know where to place the anxieties and negative feelings.”
choso shushed you quietly when your sobs grew more frequent and you let him pick you up, clinging onto him as he walked over to the couch and sat on it with you on his lap. “shh, you’re okay, we’re okay,” he mumbled against the crown of your head, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “i’m sorry i hurt you so much, i was not aware that you already liked me back then and that my words would have such an effect on you.”
over and over, choso apologized quietly until you calmed down, slumping against his chest. you stayed silent, trying to piece your thoughts and feelings back together so as to present him with a coherent and logical question. your mind was in shambles and you hoped that choso would at least get what you were hinting at. “so w- what do we do now? where do we- we go from here?”
“as i’ve already told your dad… if you’ll have me, i’ll make it up to you, all the hurt that i’ve caused you. i love you, so much. i want to be your boyfriend, and this time officially.”
“i like the sound of it,” you mumbled, tilting your head back to look at him. “will you be my boyfriend?”
“it would be an honour, princess.”
with a kiss, choso sealed the deal, easily catapulting you back on cloud nine. who would have thought that the escort you’d hired to be your fake boyfriend would turn out to be the prince charming you had always hoped for, surpassing even your wildest dreams and expectations. choso was everything you wanted and more - he was the person you wanted to wake up to every morning, the person you wanted to come home to. he was the person with whom you wanted to spend your life with, the person that loved you so unconditionally and never expected anything in return. you were lucky that he chose you, that he loved you back. out of all the persons in the universe, it was him.
he was perfect and he was yours.
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p.s.: if you've made it until the end: thank you so much for reading!
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2pretty · a year ago
✨ 2pretty’s Motivational Quote Library ✨
I have been collecting my favorite quotes for the past few years now. Many of these have gotten me through tough classes, long study nights, and reminded me to work hard for what I want most in life. Save this post and read it when you need it. But keep in mind, reading motivational quotes won’t get your work done. It only inspires a spark of motivation. You have to actually do the work afterwards too.
If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door (Milton Berle)
Think about exactly what you don’t want and then do the direct opposite
The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person who is doing it 
Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs (Farrah Gray)
Without hard work, nothing grows but weeds (Gordon B. Hinckley)
Success comes from knowing that you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming (John Wooden)
80% of success is just showing up
If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten (Tony Robbins)
Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up (Thomas Edison)
If you really want the key to success, start by doing the opposite of what everyone else is doing (Brad Szollose)
Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough (Og Mandino)
The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me (Ayn Rand)
It is never too late to be what you might have been (George Eliot)
A good plan violently executed now is better than a perfect plan executed next week (George Patton)
The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out (Robert Collier)
Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant (Robert Louis Stevenson)
Either you run the day or the day runs you (Jim Rohn)
The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today (H. Jackson Brown, Jr.)
Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself (George Bernard Shaw)
I attribute my success to this -- I never gave or took any excuse (Florence Nightingale) 
You can’t build a reputation on what you are going to do (Henry Ford)
Formula for success: rise early, work hard, strike oil (J. Paul Getty)
Success is dependent on effort (Sophocles)
Change your life today. Don’t gamble on the future, act now, without delay (Simone de Beauvoir)
Success depends upon previous preparation, and without such preparation there is sure to be failure (Confucius)
You simply have to put one foot in front of the other and keep going. Put blinders on and plow right ahead (George Lucas)
Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day (Jim Rohn)
It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop (Confucius)
Productivity is never an accident. It is always the result of a commitment to excellence, intelligent planning, and focused effort.
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit 
Commitment is staying true to what you said you were going to do long after the mood you said it in had left. 
Don't ask what's the least you can do to be good. Ask what's the most you can bare to be great. 
Ask yourself if what you are doing today is getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow. 
Don't study until you get it right. Study until you can't get it wrong. 
Get up early enough to set your intentions for the day in stone. A good morning is the beginning of a successful day. You are capable of everything you want to do today. You are strong, secure and able to achieve. There is no task too hard when you believe in every ability you hold, you are determined to hit every goal. Do not give up on yourself.
Every positive change in your life begins with a clear, unequivocal decision that you are going to either do something or stop doing something.
Hard work will never betray you.
Aggressive goals require aggressive work ethic. 
The best way for you to predict your future is to create it (Abraham Lincoln)
The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing (Walt Disney)
The price of excellence is discipline. The cost of mediocrity is disappointment (William Arthur Ward) 
You need to understand that studying requires extensive training. Study habits, amount of sleep, timing. Therefore, you should see it as a sport. In order to get better you need to repeat and practice. Your brain needs to be recited all this information for long term memory. It's a hard process, I know, but trust me you'll get there.
You get what you work for
You won’t have this day again, so make it count.
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latte-fairytaekwoon · 5 months ago
Church (Choi San) Rated
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Pairing: Choi San × Reader (Female)
Genre: Smut, Angst, Fluff, College AU, Friends to Enemies(?), Enemies to Lovers (?)
Summary: He used to be her best friend until he abandoned not only his childhood beliefs, but her in the process. One night, he decides to show her a glimpse of what she's been missing out on. Inspired by Chase Atlantic's Church .
Word Count: 6.3+K
Warnings: Mentions of religious beliefs, brazen college parties, allusions to alcohol/nicotine intake, body insecurity (reader has small breasts), oral (female receiving), fingering, nipple play, body worship/praise, slight cumplay, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex (always use protection), slight corruption kink, inexperienced reader, experienced San. (Probably forgot something)
Taglist: @little-precious-baby @yunhoiseyecandy @yunhofingers @galaxteez @brie02 @deja-vux @a-soft-hornytiny @multidreams-and-desires @couchpotatoaniki @daniblogs164 @yunsangoveryonder @minhyukmyluv @nanamarkie
The infamous rebel let out a pernicious snicker when he saw the serene and usually proper former acquaintance walk in his direction.
"Are my eyes deceiving me or is that really the pastor's prissy little daughter out past her bedtime in a college party?" He found the situation much too amusing that he just had to point it out.
"I have a name you know." The female he was referring to halted in her steps to turn her head and give him an unkind and unfriendly look.
"You have several, actually. There's goody two shoes, priss, prude, prig-"
"Oh shut the fuck up Choi San." She scoffed as she began walking away from him, already feeling annoyed by his presence.
The man trailed after her, his face donning a shocked expression as he flailed his arms around in a dramatic way.
"Guys it's happening! The apocalypse is really here if L/N Y/N has not only attended a wild party full of debauchery, but her mouth has actually uttered out cursed words!" He shouted out, the other attendants either joining in laughing at her or ignoring him in favor of the bottles or sticks in their fingers.
"I'm surprised you even know what that word means." She turned to look at him with a mocking smile, arms crossed over her chest.
"Please, I know a lot more than you have ever pretended to know." He clicked his tongue, elbow coming up to rest on the wall next to him.
"Is that why you turnt corrupt and abandoned everything you believe in?" She couldn't help but spat back at him.
"Hey at least I was honest and didn't hide it like you people who lead double lives. Preaching one thing but living the total opposite. You're all nothing but a bunch of hypocrites." The venom in his voice was unmistakable, nose scrunching up in disgust as he remembered gross sins he had more often than not had witnessed from people who claimed to be pure and holy.
"I do not lead a double life." She remarked.
"Oh really? Then why the hell are you here in a college party? Full of alcohol, drugs and walking STDs? Riddle me that princess." His foot tapped against the floor, patiently awaiting an answer from her.
Y/N swallowed the non existent lump in her throat and turned her gaze to the floor in embarrassment.
"I just wanted to see what it was like. Just once." She admitted begrudgingly, the man in front of her chuckling lowly.
"Well you sure are going to have a lot to confess on Sunday to your dad. Silly girl, walking into the lion's pit like this." He jeered at her.
"Don't get ahead of yourself. Just because I came here doesn't mean I've done anything morally wrong." She counteracted his words to which he only snorted.
Tired of his overly obnoxious attitude, Y/N spun on her heel to get away from him, but she spun so carelessly and fast that she ended up bumping into another classmate who unfortunately was holding a full cup of beer that ended up being doused all over her white blouse.
"Oops! Sorry, my bad." He excused himself, looking completely unapologetic about the situation.
Meanwhile Y/N looked absolutely horrified as she took in the drenched state of her shirt that now had the stench of alcohol on it. The fact San was bursting out in giggles only served to make her even more mad.
"Now tell me how do you plan on explaining that to dear old-"
"Can it San or I swear I'll gauge your eyes out." She threatened him as she stormed out the building, not caring that she bumped into a few figures on her way out.
Feeling just a bit of empathy for his old friend, San sighed softly before following after her. Upon catching up to her, he took hold of her wrist and started dragging her in the opposite direction.
"Hey! Get your filthy hands off me! I will not hesitate to scream!" She tried tugging her arm away.
"Calm down I'm not planning on kidnapping or anything like that sweetheart. I'm taking you back to my car."
She let out a dry laugh at that.
"But that's not kidnapping?" She raised an eyebrow at him.
"I have a spare shirt in the backseat that you can change into. Unless you wanna go home smelling like PBR." He looked back to see the mess one more time, lips curling up into a smirk.
Against her better judgment, she allowed him to take her all the way where his car was parked, standing there quietly as San rummaged through the backseat before taking out a clean plain white tshirt and held it out to her.
"Here. Put it on."
She looked at him with a face that asked if he was stupid.
"Well what?" He asked.
"Oh yes..I'm totally going to strip in a middle of the street and let anyone passing by see." She rolled her eyes at him.
"Oh for fuck's sake, there's nobody here, nobody is going to see and frankly I don't think anyone cares about seeing your non existent boobs." He scorned at her as he gestured to her chest.
"Ok rude and uncalled for." She felt slightly hurt by his comment, having always been somewhat insecure about the size of her chest.
"Don't look." She warned him.
"Not like I want to." He jeered at her as he turned away to not only give her privacy, but to also serve as a lookout for anyone that might accidentally show up and see the scene. He could hear her behind him tearing off her clothes and then slipping it back on.
"Ok there. I'm done." Y/N announced as she stuffed the soiled shirt into her bag.
"Not even a thank you?" San pouted slightly, to which Y/N gave a feigned smile.
With that said and done, she brushed past him and started walking away, absolutely done with the night.
"Careful not to get caught sneaking back inside your house." She heard San say from behind.
"For your information I'm not living with them anymore. I moved into the dorms 2 months ago." She stated in a matter of factly, a proud look on her face.
"Well in that case....want to ride back with me?" He offered.
"Yeah no, I'd rather take my chances at being kidnapped and then butchered up. Besides, I wouldn't want to cut your wild night short." She declined the offer.
"Stop being so negative Nancy and accept my generosity. Geez."
Running over to her, he quickly snatched her up and threw her over his shoulder, ignoring her shocked exclaims and protests.
"Now this is really kidnapping!" She declared.
"Yeah I know, now shut up before I duct tape that bratty mouth of yours." San grinned mischievously as he tossed her into the backseat and shut the door before striding over to get on the driver's seat.
"Oh come on. Stop looking at me like I'm a criminal. Just because I indulge in a few sins every now and then, doesn't make me into a bad person." He stated when he saw the dirty look she gave him.
"Whatever." She muttered as she locked in her seatbelt.
San opted for just driving back to the dorms and get Y/N tucked in her bed since it was clear to him she needed it.
"You're lucky my roommate is on vacation, otherwise I would have left your ass back there." Y/N spewed out as she threw her keys onto her dresser.
"Thanks Y/N, I always said you were the nicest and most giving person in the planet." San complimented her as he felt he should given she was letting him stay the night in her dorm after a little tiny incident with his keys dropping inside one of the manholes surrounding the university. And the administration office wouldn't be open til the morning, meaning he was screwed unless his roommate showed up to let him in, but that was a definite no since San knew Seonghwa would definitely end up in someone else's bed and come back til the next day, hickeys plastered all over his neck and chest.
"No, you always said I was the most stuck up-"
San shushed her by pressing a hand over her mouth.
"You dwell so much on the present image of me you drew up in your head that you completely erased the friend you had all those years ago." He slid his hand off her mouth, shoulders slumping down as he turned away from her to crouch on the floor.
"That friend doesn't exist anymore, that is if he even existed in the first place. If I recall, my friend wasn't into parties, booze, vaping, tattoos, piercings and fucking around with every whore in the school."
San didn't say anything as he heard her ramble, he just let her talk away as she started pulling out spare blankets and pillows for him to use.
"My Sannie was sweet, cute, adorable, always ready to lend people help and respectful to others." She reminisced with a sad look. Pulling her expression straight, she laid out the blankets and started arranging them neatly on the floor.
"I still am."
San's voice was so quiet that she barely registered that he even opened his mouth in the first place, but she heard him.
"Maybe if you weren't so puffed up with pride and didn't cut me off after I cut ties with the church, you'd see that I'm still the way I was. You think I changed completely because of ink and metal on my body? Because I wanted to try certain substances and yes, satisfy some perfectly normal and humane needs?"
Y/N averted her gaze from him and continued the task she was in. San let out a despondent scoff.
"Of course you do. And yet didn't I just demonstrate to you back there that I haven't changed? Giving you my shirt, giving you a ride, yeah I know, it's not much and no big deal, but wasn't those the types of things I'd do even back then?"
Y/N's tongue poked against her cheek as she knew she couldn't deny that was San said was absolutely true. He did nothing different back at the party as he used to do years ago. Helping old ladies with grocery bags, giving away some of his clothes to less fortunate kids, he was always known as being such a giving and kind person.....
No wonder so many were devastated when it was announced he had resigned as a member of the church. Y/N herself was hurt and even indignated by his decision. And after that she adamantly refused to see him or talk to him, and of course San respected her decision and avoided contacting her so as to not make her uncomfortable. He understood that their friendship was broken and he wasn't going to overstep boundaries just to try and fix it when the other party didn't want it. So he just decided to live his life as he thought was right without his conscience bothering him. And he was much happier now, he felt free, something that he had never felt before. Perhaps he was so chained down by formality, discipline, strict regulations and even fear that he didn't realize that he was miserable all that time until his eyes were fully open and he found he didn't like what he saw, especially after seeing the dark and ugly side of what was supposed to be a safe and pure sanctuary. He was let down severely and he suffered in the process. But now that was behind him and he had no regrets......
Except Y/N. He truly missed her and her company. As he laid on the makeshift bed on the floor, he found himself unable to sleep as he recalled all those fond times spent with her. The trips to the lake, hiking, first day of school, their first accident after he had gotten his driver's license. He let out an involuntary smile at that memory. Unbeknownst to him, the girl on her bed was equally reminiscing on the old days filled with her best friend. She had been so alone ever since she distanced herself from him, the world now feeling empty and cold without him. Shifting around in her bed, she whined into her pillow as she desperate tried to sleep.
"What's the worst thing you've ever done?" Her question startled San momentarily.
"Are you that sleep deprived that you're suddenly asking me to confess my worst sins?" He chuckled amusedly.
"Maybe it'll help me get actual sleep, I don't know. And.... I'm just curious." She clutched one of her plushies and started messing around with it.
"Curiosity killed the cat and I don't think your virgin mind will be able to handle my confession." He asserted confidently.
"I'm not a virgin, but oh well. Just tell me, what's the worst?" Her casual response made San flip out. He sat upright and kneeled at the front of her bed with an incredulous look.
"What do you mean you're not a virgin? When did you-?" He was so flabbergasted he wouldn't even finish his sentence.
Rolling over to where he was, Y/N smirked at him.
"Uh uh. I asked you a question first and you have to answer it before I can answer any you want."
Knowing he had no alternative, San placed his chin on the top of her mattress.
"Had a threesome with 2 of our professors." He laughed when he saw how shocked Y/N looked.
"What?! No way!" She refused to believe him.
"It's true. I won't tell you who they were since you won't be able to look at them the same way if I did...... I'll just dish this: they both got really huge tits and it's a shame they're married." He admitted with a smug expression.
"I can't believe you." She fanned her face which she was sure was now a deep crimson color.
"Ok now your turn. When did this happen? Who was it with?"
Y/N didn't even mind that San got up and crawled into her bed to lay down next to her. His face was rested on his hands as he looked at her with intense inquisitiveness. Knowing she'd have to talk about it sooner or later, she thought it would be best if San was the one to know since he would never tell anyone else and he'd understand since he was tainted as well.
"Remember when that group of missionaries came to stay over at our city for a while back in high school?"
San nodded, vividly remembering everything. Y/N blushed and smiled shyly.
"Do you remember that there was a family with a son our age? Chase?"
San widened his eyes and flopped over on his back as his hands came to hide his face.
"Oh dear lord, please don't tell me it was that Canadian boy." He groaned in pain.
"Yeah....yeah it was."
San couldn't stop cringing at the thought of his friend doing such a thing.
"How even did that happen?" He was so lost.
"I don't know! It just did ok? It happened while we were out in that camping trip. Somewhere there, we were left alone and we started talking about everything and nothing til it spiraled into talking about sex and us being virgins decided to see what was the big deal....." She bit her lower lip as the memory flashed in her mind. Looking over at San, she knew he was judging her as she expected. A tiny snort escaped his lips.
"That must have been the worst 45 seconds of your life." He joked, earning him a slap on his chest by Y/N's hand.
"It was not 45 seconds!............. it was 2 minutes."
San only laughed harder at that, nearly crying from how funny it was to him. He composed himself though when he saw how embarrassed Y/N looked about it. Feeling bad for laughing at her expense, he cleared his throat and patted her head.
"It's ok. First times are always awkward and uncomfortable. The problem was you weren't prepared and you were both inexperienced. He just didn't know how to please you."
Y/N couldn't help herself as she asked:
"And I suppose you can?"
Flipping onto his stomach, San cupped her chin with his hand and ran his thumb across her lower lip.
"Don't tread on dangerous territory little angel lest you want an evil demon to corrupt you." He warned her, and although he wouldn't actually follow through on it, he did want to tease her a little. But he wasn't expecting for Y/N to play along to his teasing, only she was not joking at all as she brought her face closer to his.
"Maybe I want you to corrupt me, show me what I've been missing out on." She brushed her lips against his, tongue daring to poke out and press on his slit briefly, leaving him stunned.
"You have no idea what you're asking for princess." San mused as he held himself back from touching her.
"I know what I'm asking for Choi San and what I'm asking you." She responded with confidence.
Escaping from underneath the blanket that covered her, Y/N reclined back on the mattress, her head laying on her soft pillow as she gestured for San to come over to her, which he promptly did. Parting her legs so he could fit his body between them, he smirked softly down at her eagerness, fingers brushing against the soft skin on her thighs.
"You're serious about this?" He wanted to make sure it wouldn't be something she'd regret.
"I already messed up once, what's one more time gonna do?" She pulled him down against her, not caring when he lost balance and accidentally crushed her under him with his muscular body.
"Besides...." Wanting to further entice him, Y/N brushed her lips against his ear.
"Look at me and tell me you don't want to fuck me. That you don't want to stuff that hard cock of yours into my tight and inexperienced pussy. Bet you're itching to tear into me until I'm crying under you. Don't you want that?"
San let out a moan at hearing such filthy and depraved talk from her. It only fueled his appetite and hunger for indulging in carnal desires.
"Yes... I want that.... I want you."
Closing space between them, San molded his lips over hers, encasing them in a sloppy and wet kiss. Y/N could faintly make out the leftover scent of alcohol and nicotine as she let him taste her mouth, but she didn't mind or felt grossed out by it. She just kept her lips parted and allowed him to move his tongue freely inside her. Cupping her cheeks, San continued to roll his tongue over hers, massaging it gently with both deep yet gentle strokes. When he pulled away, he made sure to tuck her bottom lip between his teeth, pulling it towards him as Y/N let out a moan that was like music to his ears. Pausing briefly, their lips were barely touching as they breathed in each other's air. San was the first one to break into a smile, the one that had Y/N melting since it displayed his dimples to the fullest.
"Never thought I'd hear that sound come out of your pretty mouth." He teased her.
"S-shut up." She frowned, hand reaching up to smack his chest.
"It's not a bad thing. I like it. Now let's see if I can make sure you keep them up."
Stuffing his face into her neck, San ghosted his lips across her skin, tongue subtly poking out solely to hear her breath hitch slightly. Dipping his tongue into her collarbone, his lips opened up so they could firmly latch and spread wet kisses across her neck. Y/N gasped when she felt teeth sink down, head tilting back to give San more room which he took advantage of. Focusing on particular spots that he knew she was sensitive in, he sucked her skin into his mouth. Each time he pulled away, he reveled when he saw the finished mark that was now painted on her skin.
"I would love to see your parent's reaction to my love bites." He brushed a fingers across the newest spot he just embedded in her body, hand then reaching up to suddenly clasp around her neck. Y/N shuddered when his grip got tighter, her oxygen intake getting cut and making her feel hazy, but it was nonetheless enjoyable. Snaking a hand under her shirt, or more like his shirt, San swiped his tongue over his bottom lip as he started to pull the material up.
"How about I make some matching ones all across your pretty chest?"
Before he could lift the shirt any further, Y/N's hand clasped around his wrist, preventing him from moving any further.
"Don't." She begged him.
San retracted his hands away from her, fearing he made her uncomfortable.
"I'm sorry." He immediately apologized and began to move away from her, but Y/N's hands raked against his thighs to keep him in place.
"No, it's not you. It's just..... if we're going to do this, can I keep the shirt on? I don't...." She took a deep breath and closed her eyes as she admitted an insecurity of hers.
"I don't like my chest. My boobs are too small, it's unflattering and I'd rather you not see them." She slowly opened her eyes to see his reaction. San had a sad look on his face, bottom lip poking out as his fingers came up to brush against her cheek. Remembering what he had previously said back in the parking loyal, he felt terrible for saying that ill intended joke about her body. He probably hurt her and he didn't realize it.
"Y/N don't say that. Your chest size doesn't matter. You're beautiful the way you are and I bet underneath that layer is clothing there is the cutest and most adorable set of boobs in the world." She let out an involuntary giggle at his words, letting him run his hand down her clothed sternum.
"But if that's what you want, I'll respect it. Either way, my tshirt looks amazing on you." He acknowledged rather cockily.
Shifting further back, San took hold of the top of her shorts, making sure to look at her.
"Are you ok with these coming off?"
Y/N resisted the temptation to slap the top of his head.
"If you don't take them off, how are you going to fuck me genius?" She retorted.
"You'd be surprised at what I've learned." He uttered, mostly to himself than at her.
Like an expert, he practically tore her shorts down her legs, panties falling to the floor along with them. Y/N let out a soft squeal when he took hold of her thighs and brought her down so his face was at eye level with her most intimate part. San took a few seconds to admire her bare mound, lips parted and threatening to start drooling all over her thighs. Pressing both thumbs against each one is her lips, San pried her folds open, staring intently as he now clearly saw all of her.
"Oh fuck. I'm gonna need to prep you real good. I can tell you're going to be really tight."
She wanted to ask him what he meant by prep, but her words got caught in her throat when she felt his tongue delve into her core. She had never felt someone's mouth anywhere near her folds and she regretted not having experienced it before. Her eyes shut tight as she marveled at the sensation of San's tongue lapping at her bud, his lips making sure to enclose all around the flesh surrounding it before giving it gentle suckles. Shaky breaths blew out from her mouth, her legs wanting to close themselves around San's head but his firm grip on her thighs kept it from happening. He kept her knees pinned to the bed as his mouth continued to ravish at her taste, sloppily consuming her heat fervently. Her mind was so occupied in what he was doing that she didn't register the hand that slowly crept away from her thigh until she felt something poke at her entrance.
"Oh-" She gasped, opening her eyes to see what was going on.
"Relax princess. It's just my finger.....for now." He momentarily pulled off her heat to let her know what was happening before diving back in to continue his task of eating her out.
His finger inside her felt a little weird at first, sliding in slowly before pulling out only to plunge itself back into her. During one of those times where she expected him to slide back in, she was surprised when she felt herself being stretched out as San curled a second finger inside her. Keeping them lodged there, he began scissoring them alternatively so he could further spread her walls apart. During one of those movements, his fingertips brushed along her hood, making her hips slightly jolt up into San's face, who smiled against her folds as he now knew exactly where to angle his hips for later. Using this new knowledge, that was probably unbeknownst to Y/N, he slipped his fingers deeper into her, knuckles deep as he moved his tips rhythmically on the the spot he found. Y/N's mouth fell wide open into an 'O' as whiny gasps and airy moans poured out of it. San's mouth latched to her clit and his fingers working deep in her hole was producing a stirring in the lower pit of her stomach that she couldn't quite make out. But it felt good, especially since it continued to grow more and more, almost as if it was a cord about to snap.
"San- wait. I feel, I feel-" She couldn't finish her sentence as her body trembled slightly, a flood of overwhelming pleasure washing over her that was prolonged by San drinking up the juices that spilled forth out of her body. He didn't pull away until he made sure to swallow every drop she had to give.
"Aren't you grossed out?" She asked him, always having wondered about that.
"Nope. I love licking girl's pussies, especially if they're as sweet as yours." He affirmed while pulling his shirt off his body.
Y/N turned her flustered face away from him, keeping her gaze locked on the wall to her right, which was decorated with several polaroids of her with her family, friends and members of her church, some of them even had San in them, back when they were inseparable. Before she could become nostalgic, a strong set of hands clutched her chin and teared her gaze away from the pictures, forcing her to stare at the now naked man in front of her.
"Forget about that for now. Right now I want your full attention on me and what we're about to do. After we're done, that image of a good girl you have will gone." His words seemed to almost taunt her.
Although she tried not to look, Y/N's eyes fell in between San's legs, filled with astonishment when she glimpsed for the very first time at her former friend's member, fully erect and leaking at the tip as it awaited to be hugged by her warm walls.
"Like it? Maybe later I'll let you play with it." San giggled when her eyes shot up at him in surprise.
Placing himself to hover above her, he hummed lowly as he slowly stuffed himself inside her, working her open until he was fully nestled inside her warmth. Although she felt a light burn scraping against her inner walls, it wasn't unpleasant or painful like her first time. She could tell San knew exactly what he was doing as he began rolling his hips. Perfectly recalling exactly where to aim at, he made sure to angle his thrusts accordingly so each time he pushed back in, he'd hit her pleasure spot.
"Oh God-" Y/N exclaimed when he continued to brushed against the hood of her core.
"Really think it's a good idea to call out the good lord's name when I'm balls deep inside your pussy?" He asked with a malicious smirk plastered across his face.
"No baby. Tonight your only lord is me."
Pinning her wrists above her head, San continued pushing his cock deeper into her. The harsh pounding of his hips against hers was becoming louder, their bodies starting to get heated and producing sweat. Y/N couldn't do anything but whimper and wrap her legs around San's waist, keeping him firmly locked to her body. She closed her eyes once more as she felt the same familiar feeling from before start piling up, only it felt more intense and stronger probably due to the fact that she was getting railed to her bed by her ex best friend, whom she still cared about deeply. She was definitely not planning on making up with him this way, but holy hell, she couldn't deny that he was making her feel so many emotions at once. Pleasure, lust, satisfaction, happiness, euphoria, love? Perhaps that last one was definitely a stretch, but she blamed her confused thoughts on how well his cock was abusing her hole. She felt unable to focus on anything except him.
"Clenching so hard around me babygirl. Are you gonna cum all over my cock?"
Slipping one hand in between their bodies, San pressed his thumb against her clit, rubbing it back and forth so it would serve as an extra push to tip her over the edge. Y/N splayed her hands on San's lower back, nails raking against his skin, causing him to hiss.
"Fuck- am I seriously making you feel that good babygirl?" He knew for a fact he was feeling absolutely amazing, her tight warmth gripping along his shaft, making it hard for him to hold back much longer.
"Mmm yeah." She shamelessly moaned.
"Am I better than your first?" Although he already knew the answer, he still wanted to feed his ego and hear her say it.
"So much better! It feels so fucking good." She inhaled sharply when that she began to feel the sensation from before. With even louder cries from before, her body shook underneath San's, blood rushing to her head as an even greater orgasm coursed through her body. She was left speechless, a full on panting mess even after San had pulled out of her after helping her ride out her high.
"Oh geez. Shit." San's voice rasped out as he jerked himself off, his cum painting her thighs white, not stopping until he had finished coating them with everything he had to give.
Looking down at the mess, Y/N couldn't suppress a tiny giggle, one of her hands clasping over her mouth while the other picked up some of his cum and spread it between her fingers.
"Having fun there?" San grinned, finding her fascinated gaze to be completely adorable to him.
"Yeah.." She said as sat up to get a better look at the cum around her thighs.
"Well I was going to clean it off you, but seeing as you're so entertained by it, I'll just leave you with it."
Not forgetting that he was merely a guest, San slid himself off her bed and plopped his tired body onto the blankets on the floor. Closing his eyes, he was thinking he would finally be able to sleep, but he found his plans thwarted when he felt a pair of hands graze across his chest. Looking up, he found Y/N straddling his lap, biting down on her lower lip as she grinded her wet folds along his softened dick which was now becoming hard again thanks to her.
"What in the world are you doing you crazy girl?" He sucked in a breath, not expecting her to suddenly pounce on him.
"I wanna try that again." She pleaded, grinding her hips harder on him.
"Oh my- did I accidentally turn you into a nymphomaniac?" She chuckled at his joke and although he groaned as if he was frustrated, he obliged to her wishes and sat up.
Clasping her waist with his hands, he lifted her up and guided her so she could easily sink herself down on his length. Not letting go, he slowly rolled his hips up, burying himself deep in her body once more. Since they were both still riled up from their previous session, it didn't take long for both of them to start spewing out a clutter of moans and grunts as they once again get lost in a mist of lust that clouded their minds. San drunk up every expression on Y/N's face. Every twitch of her facial muscles, every shuddering breath she exhaled, each time her eyelids shut close, he marveled at seeing her enjoy the experience. He loved seeing her indulge in such an intimate practice with him, more so given how special she was to him, one of the most important people in his life aside from his family. Looking down at her torso, his fingers brushed along the hem of her shirt.
"Please...." His urging caught her attention.
"Please let me see all of you. I want to admire every inch of you and your beautiful body. I promise I won't laugh or judge. I just want to worship you."
Y/N hesitated briefly, still afraid to let him see what was hidden under the shirt.
"It's ok if you don't want to. I won't force you." He shot a kind smile at her as he focused back on making sure to drive his cock up into her.
Feeling safe and knowing she could trust her lifelong friend whom she thought of as a soulmate at one point, Y/N reached for the bottom of her shirt and peeled it off her body. Coming face to face with her bare chest, San groaned in ecstasy as he slid his hands up her body.
"Just as I predicted, you have very cute breasts."
Pulling her chest to his face, he opened his mouth and took one of her nipples in it, swirling his tongue around it before sucking on it. Y/N's fingers raked themselves through his hair, harshly tugging them when she felt his teeth sink themselves into her flesh.
"Aren't they too small?" She inquired.
Letting go of her breast with an audible pop, San cupped her chin.
"No baby, they're absolutely perfect. They're gorgeous, just like every other part of your body. You're gorgeous, absolutely stunning and holy fuck, you're driving me insane honestly." He confessed, his mouth diving into her other breast so it wouldn't feel left out from being tenderly kissed and sucked on.
His words sunk deep in Y/N's heart. He really did found her beautiful, attractive and it spurred something in her. Feeling a newfound passion, Y/N unconsciously began taking over their movements. Pushing against his thrusts, she began to set her own pace, rutting herself on top of his dick. San of course took notice and was happy about it.
"Oh wanna take over now baby? Well go ahead."
Laying back down on the floor, his eyes stared up at her with lust.
"Fuck yourself on me darling."
Encouraged by him, Y/N began bouncing herself on his cock. Finding an angle that she liked, she sunk down on his length over and over, her head thrown back as she used his body to push her down another spiral of immense pleasure. San just relaxed and admired the way she lost herself and gave into her deepest desires. He loved the way she rode his cock, and he loved feeling her walls tighten once more around his shaft.
"Oh shit- Sannie." She cried out his name as she quivered on top of him, her juices spilling out onto his cock once more.
Knowing fully well she was probably aching between her thighs, San gripped her hips and helped her ride out her climax so the feeling she was going through wouldn't go away just yet. He made sure to be gentle, easing her up and down his cock with absolute tenderness. Once he knew she was satisfied, he pulled her of him and set her down on the floor before sitting up above her body. Just like before, he took hold of his cock and began pumping his cum out of his body, plastering it all across her inner thighs and even splattering some on her stomach. Looking up, Y/N had the same giggly expression as before.
"Does my cum really make you burst into a fit of giggles?" He questioned her.
"I can't help it. It's just... I don't know. Maybe it's the fact it's so dirty and wrong, and then to have you spread it all over my body." She explained, which made San chuckle.
"Maybe I should baptize your thighs with my cum more often." Although he was joking, Y/N was more than willing to take him up on that offer.
"Will you?" She looked up at him with puppy eyes.
San studied her for a moment, before a wicked idea popped in his brain.
"How about you let me baptize and stain that pretty face of yours?"
Getting a hint of what he meant, Y/N got up on her knees while San stood up right in front of her, cock in hand as he brought it up to her lips.
"I hope you weren't planning on going to morning services tomorrow because I'm going to keep you up til morning until your knees hurt."
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