#don't look at me idk what all of this means either

[ironbatpaperturtle]

How about Michael gives Adam a ring? He has no reason why he gave Adam a ring. He just saw a pretty ring and thought “Adam would look good in this” and bought it (that’s how rich he is).

Ring varies depending on the AU.

S2Adam: Assuming Sinner!Adam gets Pride Ring’s color scheme of red and black, the ring would be black with ruby red stones. Unfortunately, since he’s in hell, Adam doesn’t want anything to happen to the ring. It’s hidden but it’s always with him wherever he goes. If he’s feeling brave, the most he’ll wear the ring would be like a necklace.

Time Travel Adam: Ring is silver with a blue stone (Maybe Aquamarine? Sapphire? Or Lapis) and small white diamonds. Adam wears it all the time (another reason for the Royal Family allegations) on his left hand. Michael was the one to put it there though. I don’t think Michael knows what giving someone a ring and putting it on their left hand mean. Or maybe he does but Adam assumes he doesn’t. Either way, Adam never stopped Michael from doing so.

Your AltDimension Adam: The ring would be melted scraps of metal because it’s the most Michael could do in their messed up world. But he always kept an eye out for a beautiful stone. He was never able to find a gem though

That AltDimension made me tear up a bit. Only a bit. Wtf thats so cutee.

I would find it really romantic if Adam just let Michael put a ring on his finger. The rings have these small meanings that both Adam and Michael don't realize.

Michael understands the prospect of a good ring. Y'know all the necessary shit. Never ever tungsten. Gold, diamond, shit like that. The meaning behind each ring

Adam never had a ring. But he knows that it means marriage. But he'd be all like yeah whatever. Go ahead.

Frieren, a scene there was Frieren picking a random ring, not knowing its meaning and then Himmel immedietly knows and he kneels down to attach it to her ring finger.

It was so sweet and yeah. Idk

[imlivinginyourtrashcan]

Hi hello and howdy

Since I can't contain my thoughts here's all the "Mirage" logicistics. Basically they either swap or enhance ones personality, heres a few examples:

Mirage Lenore is way more looney and impulsive, with a practically nonexistant off switch having to be dragged off screaming before she sets anything on fire, her group mainly sticks with her for fear of their own lives and she and Annabel are ALLOWED TO BE GAY!!! HOORAY!!! They still have the pretend to hate each other thing but thats mainly due to Annabel's paranoia

Mirage Duke is a shit magician who constantly looses parts of his tricks, he's also like WAYYY too overdramatic, the kinda mf to fall over if you steal his chip,

"MY CHIP!!"

"Its... its just a crisp.."

"I WAS GOING TO EAT THAT!"

"Oh my god..."

So yeah, pathetic cringefail looser LMFAO, but he is the kinda person to pull a "OMG MY BEST FRIEND! MOVE!" And shove whoever out of his way

Mirage Pluto is if you took a wet cat and made him a golden retriever. He's very hyperactive, social, easily distracted. Mf is like "wanna hear abt my hyperfixations?!" Talks and doesn't wait for an answer a neat thing i did with some characters Mirage's is i inverted stuff abt them like hair, emblems, all that. He still thinks M! Duke's magic is cool

Mirage Berenice is a feral little creature, constantly biting or nibbling on things (mainly Eulalies arm, or her own. I dont think chewlery exists in the victorian era). She's also the queen of being unhinged, in spectre form shes somewhat normal at least. For the most part she's in her own world

Mirage Eulalie is the mean autistic, less into creepy/old things n thinks their lame and/or weird. She's the one dragging Berenice around and keeping the gang from falling apart. Her and M! Morella really out here sharing the only group braincell, shes also blunt as fuck and wont hesitate to tell you you look bad. I wanted to lean more into the japanese part of her character so she just kinda- speaks more of it now (lol idk how else to explain it)

Mirage Morella, like M! Eulalie, is a mean autistic. She's less emotional, and more of "I dont give a damn just get me out of here.", sticks with whatever group she's feelin that day tbh. Won't tell you you look bad, will probably just call you a dumbass and leave

Mirage Annabel is kinda like regular Annabel but without the "Life is like chess" mentality. So more jumpy, kinda a walking talking mental breakdown waiting to happen. Excess paranoia and increase of hallucinations cus pookie and I decided we aren't giving her a break

Mirage Prospero is no longer fancy and polite, he is sopping wet germaphobic wet cat. He will go through great lengths to avoid disease, faints around blood and puke, screams at the sight of his own rats (or just rats/bugs in general), actively raising his and Annabel's blood pressure with how scardy he is.

Mirage Montresor is imo the funniest one cuz he's just a polite little gentleman, doin all the chivalry shit like opening doors, pushing chairs in and out, saying his pleases/thank yous/welcomes, he's even calling everyone "Sir" and "Ma'am". He's still an asshole, but you really gotta provoke him to see that

Tbh, I didn't think much abt Mirage Will since Will to me is kinda just there as Monty's lackey who gets kicked around. SO he's less of a pushover, more demanding, up and refuses what people tell him, bullies M! Monty, he tried bullying M! Ada and M! Morella but bro got his ass kicked. On top of it, he's unfortunately more sexist and stubborn. No more people pleasing ig 🤷‍♀️

Finally, Mirage Ada. What I wanted to do for her is have her be an absolute girlboss who is always serving 100% of the time. Everything she does is her choice and for her and her friends, and and and shes Aroace too, pretty chill when she has to reject someone just like:

"Hey i like u"

"Oh! I don't feel the same but we can still be friends?"

"Ok"

EPIC HIGH FIVE

She also beat M! Will up, good for her

So uh, yeah! Thats all i got. If you have questions, feel free to comment or ask in the askbox. :)

#nevermore webcomic #annabel lee webtoon #nevermore webtoon #lenore nevermore #lenore vandernacht #annabel lee whitlock #annabel lee nevermore #duke nevermore #pluto nevermore #eulalie nevermore #berenice nevermore #prospero nevermore #will nevermore #morella nevermore #nevermore fanfic

[freakwiththeknifecollection]

The sick feeling you get in your stomach as an undiagnosed/closeted autistic hearing friends/loved ones make fun of or talk about "what's wrong with" the openly autistic people you know

#sometimes I think about telling certain people and then I'm reminded why I shouldn't <3 #em rambles #autism #autistic #actually autistic #autistic things #ableism #even the people who do know are still iffy sometimes like you may think 'I usually don't get along with autistic people' is a compliment bu #it just makes me uncomfortable lmao #idk it's just like. yeah I don't 'seem' autistic with great intentionality around certain people because they've shown #me how unsafe it is lmao #I just hate that people think you're just quirky and different until you put the autistic label on it then there's something WRONG with you #or say you couldn't be autistic because there's nothing WRONG with you you're not THAT bad you're not LIKE THAT #I mean like. ideally I would like me telling people to expand people's ideas of what an autistic person looks/acts like but the sad reality #is that it'll just end in either disbelief or bullying #most likely #you know in ratatouille when remi thinks humans aren't so bad and then his dad shows him that shop with the dead rats and rat poison and #traps and the next morning remi tries walking down the street and people scream and throw stuff at him and call rats disgusting creatures #and he says 'I was reminded how fragile it all was' #that's the vibe as a closeted autistic lmao #you find people who accept you and think maybe it's not that dangerous. maybe it'd be okay #and then other people remind you why you mask in the first place #my autism is the rat hiding inside my hat

[sailor-aviator]

.

#y'all my anxiety has me spiraling as of late because it just feels like my whole life is falling apart at this point #i got fired from my job a couple of months ago and i've been scrambling to try and find a new one #i work part time at a store i really love but it pays shit #and i've had all of these interviews and no one wants to hire me and i just feel unhireable at this point and it's hard not to despair #and on top of that i'm struggling with my self esteem again #i know i'm not ugly per se but i'm struggling with feeling confident in the way i look as a big girl #and all of my old insecurities are rearing their ugly heads and i want to cry just thinking about it #and i feel like such a failure right now even though i know that life has its ups and downs but my stupid brain just won't chill #and i don't really have any friends in the area because they all either moved away or didn't live here to begin with #and i'm tired of living at home because of my stupid student loans and not being able to afford to live on my own #i have one person i hang out with and we just met and i don't want to scare them off because they're a great friend and person #and i just feel like i'm never going to meet anybody who's going to love me the way i want to be loved because of my looks #also because it's me. and i feel like i'm so flawed as a person that no one will ever fall in love with me #and i've just been feeling really alone lately and i'm trying to do things to make me feel better but it's just so HARD right now #and i love writing because it gives me a chance to explore some of my feelings and it's something i genuinely love to do #and i'm sitting here waiting for the day things start to get better. and i know we all joke and i'm gonna sounds so dumb for saying this #but i feel like i was meant to be famous? or do something great idk and it's something everyone has always told me #and idk if my feelings of inadequacy are because of that or what but i'm scared that my life is going to mean nothing in the end #anyway this was a lot and you can pretend like you didn't read it. i just wanted to write some of my feelings down

[dykeinthedark]

venting in tags about gender n shit (long as hell) (u can comment and talk 2 me as always :3)

#okay so i got a really masc haircut about a month ago and i know it's just a haircut but holy shit has it changed EVERYTHING for me #like.... i've always leaned masc except 1) before i came out 2) when i was actively in love with someone who i knew liked femmes #and they always described me as a fem. because that's what i showed her. because i wanted to be with her. #but lowkey whenever i'm in a not-impressing-anyone raw-dogging-life-no-crush era i always resort to a very masc style #like masc being my default and i'd only lean fem to impress people whether it's for love or peer pressure in a specific setting #like ''dressing up'' has always been a form of drag to me. like something i HAD to do to fit in or impress my parents (scott favor core) #but ever since this haircut i've realized... i could just BE masc innately like i really don't have to be womanly if i don't want to #which i usually don't. again i have only ever dressed fem for other people. but it's not even being masc that attracts me on its own #it's like. being masc in a distinctly lesbian way. as in whenever i look in the mirror i don't wanna be like a Guy i wanna be a dyke. #like lesbian as a gender identity too sort of thing honestly. okay i've been waffling but basically i sort of want to call myself butch #but i don't know if i like... can?? if i'm allowed to??? #everyone always says it's MORE than just wearing boy clothes and not wearing makeup and having short hair (which i already do all those) #i mean i've always id'd as genderqueer because it literally just means gender weird and i experience gender in a queer way #what's probably the most telling is that my friends (all queer) CALL me a butch lesbian #like every time they do i feel really internally validated. it's not just my clothes but my personality too ig is what people tell me #i have a higher pitched voice relatively speaking but apparently the way i talk is quote ''very clockably into women'' #which?? gender euphoria asf. my best friend specifically he (gay trans guy) always uses butch to describe me very intuitively #people have also noticed that i ''transitioned'' in all aspects except hormonally. like ppl have commented and noticed my masculinzation #but at the same time i always feel rly haunted by my ex relationships because one wanted me to be more masc #(she's the one who came out as straight and would treat me like a man) which i didn't like and i didn't like playing up being fem either #bc now it feels like she (butch) won't believe me if i called myself butch too bc she remembers me being femme #idk i feel like there's her voice in my head all the time that sees everything i do through her eyes (i'm lowkey still in love) #i feel like even though this comes so naturally to me i must be putting on a performance #even though i've actually read stone butch blues and done research into the history and i truly love and id with the culture like i rly do #that im still just a sad imitation of a butch lesbian and can never really be a part of it because i used to enjoy dressing up sometimes #like it's so stupid but can i still be butch if i wore a dress to prom and i think i looked good in it?? #even though i was envious of my friends who wore suits?? that i used to try goth makeup?? that i liked long dresses?? #that i enjoyed stacked necklaces and rings on every finger??? #and tbh ALL OF THAT CAME FROM A CONCIOUS EFFORT TO FEMINIZE MYSELF IN JUNIOR YEAR OF HIGHSCHOOL WHEN I WAS 16 #because omfg it was 2 months before junior prom and i was worried that i was too masc and wanted to get comfortable with being fem

[growing-fire]

Really really tempted to tell my brother's girlfriend to run while she still can... woke up this morning to my father screaming that he was going to kill my mother, ran downstairs to get in between them, screamed my brother's name to tray and get him to help me, he stayed in bed doing nothing. She fucking deserves better, and honestly so do I.

#swag #i need to get a new job and leave #but i can't fucking accept that all my time has to be spent on either going to work or looking for other jobs #i am considering trying out for the greece job since they contacted me again #even tho it's a call center job #and the pay is fucking laughable #“competitve salary for Greece” #that's not what the internet says #even tho it's kinda hard looking into what rent could be without you know #actually knowing greek #saw some houses that don't seem like vacation houses and the rent is pretty fucking high if i get only 850 € net a month #the salary is for a full time job btw #i earn more monthly now doing a part time #even tho it's cause i decided that the 13th and 14th salary could be diluted monthly instead of all together #but still then i would get the same salary of a part time job #maube i should just simply give up the idea of living a decent life but at least i would be free of the violence #but that also means leaving my mom behind #idk maybe i should just kill my self

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Beginning to really wonder how much of my financial concern is manufactured and handed to me as opposed to something I'm genuinely concerned by

#bc like. i'm getting by just fine. i don't have anything to be reasonably worried about #but also when i was a kid my father would break down my mother's paycheck and basically explain how broke we were #and that May Have Affected Me Somewhat #as well as just. the way you consistently see the advice to just save! don't get takeout! necessities! and i'm not intent on living like #a monk nor am i intent on being on that grindset for financial gain #it's like i don't intrinsically care but i have so many messages given to me about how i need to care a lot and it puts me in a weird spot #i am simultaneously standing still and moving at mach speeds #i mean right now i just need a safety net while in between jobs; after that i need to save up to move out of state bc the uh #political situation and upcoming presidential election don't seem very sustainable for someone like me anymore #they weren't to begin with but i don't wanna stick around to see how bad it's gonna get #but it's like. okay and then what? save for what? going back to school i guess? idk #i feel like i keep asking myself what i'm trying to accomplish and keep trying to force myself to have answers #here and now when i have to be okay with taking things one step at a time instead of having everything here and now #it's simultaneously fine and terrible and i am holding two conflicting yet equal truths #i feel i may have a clearer head once i leave my current job. i'm trying to look but nothing feels appealing given how #burnt out i already feel. i dread going back into my workplace and i fear it's showing to the patients and i don't want that #i want a month off to rediscover who i am as a person outside of getting yelled at in retail and then pick something back up #could be feasible. genuinely could be. i need to sort out the health insurance aspect but. that's lowkey the plan? #to construct a financial safety net and then slam on the breaks for a while; see if i can strike up a deal with the staff about me #coming in for specific tasks bc we already know i'm quick and efficient with the inventory so i do have a little leverage #you know what. this is getting some of it off my chest and i'm starting to feel confident again lmao #i won't be doing weekends starting either next week or the week after so that's a start! i just think i want everything done right now #bc i'm afraid i won't have the chance again but i will. i definitely will #i just need to let myself get to that point; it's just the immense drain from the register work and the Everything that comes with retail #also having to accept that it's okay to leave this; there's not something wrong with me like. ''not being able to handle it'' or w/e #no mindfulness or detachment could've saved me; it was shit and i'm hitting the bricks and that's all there is to it #i've been thinking a lot about it all lately bc it's what's most prominent in my life rn of course #idk. pondering. introspecting. as i am wont to do #anyways if you've read all this you're a real mvp and i am kissing you on the hand #shai speaks

[bravevolunteer]

i know no one asked but here are my updated thoughts on mimic

#ruin spoilers #i don't dislike it in ruin! i think it works fine for what it is #like yea it's ABRUPT but fnaf has never been know for its stellar storytelling has it lmao #my conclusion is really just 'fuck it there can be two horrible entities down there' #i still do not like glitch/burn as mimic bc it is just a Bad Writing Choice to me #i'm okay with its presence what i'm annoyed by is using it to fuck with all the details in sb #also as uh.. Confusing as potentially making pq canon is i don't think it really negates anything either! #just bc we didnt see it doesn't mean burntrap wasn't still down there #but thats just my two cents DHFGFD i still have NO idea how to interpret the vanni network or mxes #like the network is leading her to mimic but the rabbit is actually trying to protect her so?? IDK #⁂ ･ﾟ: i was looking for a job‚ and then i found a job‚ and heaven knows i’m miserable now ➛ ooc

[brawlqueen]

attempt was made ! all replies will be queued and i think anything holiday related won't expire for me unless you don't want the ask answered. like last month ! they'll just go under the 'seasonal / holiday' title on my asks because the brain fog is real / life amping up so ! also i think mi.zuki is the most smug santa .

also this was last year but still . love reindeer mi.zuki and san.ta a.iba. in my post-canon verse (which is divergent) they're still partners but shared also with d.ate obviously ! i think people should give them a chance since a.iba is a very very solid support system for mi.zuki and mi.zuki keeps aiba amused and can keep up with her in her own way, it's one of the few good things i liked about a.ini. oh well sometime i'll talk about how important a.iba is to her ! plus, the unlimited psyncs are hilarious and show their bond and they bounce off each other's wit and chaotic natures honestly. or rather they bring out the chaos in each other. different bonds but no less important imho ! but yeah i'll post this again later uh...closer to the holidays i guess ?

#idk there's so much vitriol about her having a.iba like...ai.ba canonly adores mi.zuki and supports her even when #mi.zuki hasn't lost her eye . . . please let mi.zuki have some support.... #it's not like she isn't being shared with d.ate still ! #the bonds are no less powerful ! #might do a few things but i'll def take it easy tomorrow bc birthday which i kinda....always forget is coming until it smacks me in the fac #𝐎𝐎𝐂 *ೃ༄ what looks gone but comes back even stronger. #who never got the parental b.ond canonly in a.i1 ? and a.iba always in every route is so fond of her sorry i'm just...sad #tra.shing mizu.ki bc she also uses ai.ba when i /know/ mor.e probably than mos.t as a mi.zuki writer like other mi.zuki writers how BADLY #a.ini is? is just not good. she's allowed to grow up. she's allowed to have a hamster support and partner with her and share her with d.ate #like i love everyone but her being only a roommate canonly is really upsetting in res route. #sorry sometimes i'm just like.....idk the double standards yikes #grabbing mi.zuki and ir.is and am.ame and ki.zuna in my hands #u deserve the world . . . oh grabs hi.tomi . . #i think some.day either d.ate retires and a.iba is the convenient family ai.ball she always has been for them or #mi.zuki if she gets an ai.ball i hope it's rabbit shaped she'd freak out lmao #or like clione shaped ??? #rabbit tho . . . #also holding b.oss and ta.ma in my hands #ai1 may be one of my all time fave games but that doesn't mean i don't want mi.zuki to grow up and evolve i guess is my tag wall #like she will not be 12 forever.

[justonefeather]

I don't know how to say "my gender is something nonhuman and not able to be comprehended while adhering to our current society's standards of what men and women are supposed to be, never mind the fact that my preferred form is not a human body at all" without the other person being concerned...

#It goes beyond furry really i just don't feel like I'm human at all. I never really have #And i don't mean not a person although when I'm very depressed or the PTSD is hitting i get that too #I mean a non human person. But people either think I'm severely ill or joking when I say that and i unfortunately(?) am not #It's not even like I'm kin of a media species or person or whatever. I just don't see myself as human but i could draw it #I don't know how to put it into words. It sort of shapeshifts. But its core is the same #But either way when i look at myself in pictures or the mirror i don't recognize it as being me. I know it is logically but #It feels like I'm inhabiting a body that isn't mine. Like I'm in a costume or playing a game #Its kind of distressing sometimes but I've basically learned to live with the feeling. I probably will never own my body and idk #It's fine i guess. I don't know what it's like to be comfortable in your body or love it or whatever. I don't know if i ever will #And I've kind of given up hope on that changing. All i can do is pretend it doesn't bother me and keep going #Although i guess that's my outlook on.. everything lol #Whats the opposite of learned helplessness.. saying it's self reliance sounds too good.. it's more like learned lack of trust

[transgender-catboy]

I love my friends

#i think im just going to talk in the tags for a moment. got a lot on my mind #for starters. the fnaf movie comes out soon. really looking forward to that. think its gonna be awesome and amazing and I'm super excited!!! #secondly. waiting on funds so i can buy that mask i saw the other day and some Halloween candy from Walmart #i . want to do little goodie bags for the kids in my building. but im too scared to go up to their parents and ask candy preference and #allergy concerns. so. idk. maybe I'll just save it. I think it's a cute concept but it makes me feel like my mother. #she loved to do little gift things for people. but it was always people that didn't like her. i don't want to be that way #i know my value. i know my time and energy means something. i don't want to waste it on people who don't give a shit. ya know? #not saying the kids are those kinds of people. not what i mean. but just as an overall thing. i don't like being like her. #...yeah. i dunno. you get raised by one person your whole life. you pick up some of their characteristics #i can't sob without sounding like her. safe to say i am a little emotionally constipated. so i seek other means to relieve that feeling. #like yesterday when i threw up. i played it off like that was a blunder on my body. but i know what i did. #hey. at least it's not the other method. right?. .. yeah. okay. i know. not great either #but it hurts. and I'm so fucking sick and tired of crying over her. genuinely. it's exhausting crying all the time #but that's the only way I can get those emotions out #I've tried to do the counseling thing. but other things made that impossible. then i moved. #and i tried the grief thing but instead i just got a talking buddy? he helps me get out of the house yeah. #but we dont talk about her #... i dunno. I'm just here. #guess i waited long enough. now you get a mini secret. every time i make an i love my friends post. I'm reminding myself why I'm still going #I'm usually sitting around somewhere in my apartment (desk couch bed) crying. alone. thinking about you guys. #so uh. thank you. #i love you guys so much. and i don't know where I'd be without you #probably dead. #💖 #vent

[rubys-domain]

... they seriously had to make the only 4 star hp sword in the game a gacha weapon

#⇢₊˚⊹ 🩷∥ruby∥yo，ide yo !! #i can't believe this #i mean i can #but i don't like it #now i'm gonna have to decide whether to sacrifice some of my venti savings just for that damn sword #on the alt i'm vibing tho. like i don't think i'll need a new 5 star until shenhe's rerun #in the meantime all i want is a new claymore for chong #and i just recently got lyney's sig so there's actually no way i'm getting either of the 5 star weapons from this banner #so i can safely pull for this sword and turn layla into 4 star zhongli cuz he didn't come home this rerun and he probably never will #because i can't be bothered to grind primos for him anymore #actually idk. i might want to pull for furina on the alt actually. it all depends on what support capabilities she has tho #if she's actually gonna be a support like every other archon anyway #now's probably a good time for me to remember to look at leaks of her kit #she's probably broken anyway because archon. but is it the kind of broken that my alt can benefit from is the question #i don't need nahida on my alt because i don't do anything with dendro on that account for example #if she's a broken yoimiya support or smth i'll consider pulling for her #(ignoring the fact that it would make xingqiu kind of useless on the alt but shhhh it's fine dw about it)

[magnus-the-maqnificent]

This 👌 close to snapping and writing a Kitty Malec AU.

#I'm serious!! #i have a plot and everything!! there's even angst #alec is a gray tabby cat and magnus is a black cat #all the other tmi gang are cats too #clary is either a calico or ginger #idk yet but im leaning towards ginger #jace is a bengal cat who loves picking fights w the other cats #simon is brown with a white underbelly (is that the right term?) #and Isabelle is a white cat #and their owners are kitty #the ship kitty i mean #and its cute and floofy #but like i said. angst #BUT i can’t do anything about it until the 20th of march UGH #also im like. 50/50 on having Sebastian as a cat #i have no idea what type of cat he would be #what do evil cats look like #don't mind me ramblings #kitty magnus au

[daz4i]

if i may complain for a bit about something that doesn't actually matter and can be easily avoided. god i hate fics that baby-fy chuuya

#yeah yeah i know just don't read them w/e. there's no tags to avoid these unfortunately 😐 #it kinda feels like a fanon of fanon. it's so far removed from his canon self even if some core elements are there. #why write him like a 15 y/o even as an adult. and the thing is. even when he was 15 in canon he wasn't this childish. c'mon. #a lot of the most popular skk fics have him characterized like this and man I'm tired. look how they massacred my boy. #ok complaining session over. i feel like i sound kinda mean. sorry abt that. #it doesn't actually matter that much just a bit frustrating when it keeps happening when you're already a couple hundred words into a fic #edit: i lied I'm not done complaining i gotta turn this into a rant bc ppl misunderstanding my favorite character online is a crime. #childish was the wrong word for me to use ig it's more like. innocent. #girl. bestie. he has been part of criminal organizations quite literally since he remembers himself. #he is not some sweet uwu baby who's a bit of a tsundere or w/e. he's got genuine reasons to be angry yknow. he's been through shit #and he's not innocent? he's in the fucking mafia lol we literally see him kill like 20 people in 5 minutes at 15 y/o. #he's not naive either???? he may not be dazai levels of smart but he's still capable of figuring things out himself???? #like he did figure out rimbaud's thing by himself. he's not stupid or slow. he wouldn't be a mafia executive otherwise. #and that's also the reason he can't be naive like... he is in constant danger after all #and idk watering down all this^ for aus is boring and turning him into practically an oc but it's even worse in canonverse #or literally any au where he suffers the same amount as he does in canon. bc then what's your excuse for watering him down. #it feels like forcing him into this very clear cut mold you see in every media when he is literally. not that. #no one in bsd is honestly that's part of its charm imo. they all subvert your expectations of their character archetypes #i think this is why it's making me so angry bc it doesn't feel like just misunderstanding the character but also the whole story. in a way. #am i going too far? perhaps. i dunno. i do feel less Dirty after letting out this frustration tho. #complaining session is now officially over okay. yes. sorry. i don't mean to offend anyone sorry if i sound mean at any point.

[astrxealis]

it has been a while since i have advertised any of my favorite games and so hello ... !! i implore you to play final fantasy xiv (fourteen) it is my favorite game and it is so good for so many reasons i love it so much (unlimited free trial btw)

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #i could go on forever about this game and idk if that's even an exaggeration at this point bcs i've talked for hours about it #tbh i think any kind of gamer could play it (though ofc there's people who won't like it and that's fine bcs we're all different!) #but yeah it IS an mmorpg but there are really a lot of people who have this as their first mmorpg or the ONLY mmo they like #the story is incredibly good and ofc that too is. up to You but in general i do believe and a lot of others do as well that yeah #idk man :') this game has brought me an extreme amount of joy and is honestly . man. i owe so much to it #and i'm really not afraid to say that! either out of embarrassment or shame or whatever bcs i am affirmed by the many others who feel the #same that i'm not alone in feeling this way >_< idk. i think those around me and esp my loved ones and friends #deserve the experience the same joy ffxiv has given me ... even if not to the same extent ofc WHEEZE ffxiv just personally means #so much to me it consumes my mind and i love it so very much ehbgsbjhg BUT YEAH. yeah #i've felt a bit guilty or embarrassed to like ... express how much things mean to me bcs hmmhmmhm maybe i'm Too Much #but i think xiv has really helped me affirm myself and the fact that yeah! i'm just really passionate and enthusiastic about what i love #and uh. ehbghabgbhb i still don't share my thoughts except for to myself and to my twin and online just a bit but #man idk what i'm talking anymore about but i'm really grateful to ffxiv and i'm glad a lot of others are too ... >< #which is interesting bcs a lot of the playerbase is older than me :O hells yoshi-p is around the age of my dad and a streamer i watch is too #GBSHJBG ... and i have played with people much older than me as well! but it's. strangely nice? #i don't necessarily have to be wary about my safety bcs in general you wouldn't find that with the playerbase unless you do #specific things/go to specific places :O a lot are just people looking to have fun and/or relax after a long day. which is nice #hmm i'm just rambling a lot now again but yeah ... i think its really beautiful how we each have something that we love a lot #and for me one of those stuff is def ffxiv. and i . think it's understandable/valid for me to wish for those i care for to experience what #i have too :O hmm w all this ngl i see that i still need to better accept my feelings and all GHSBHG i'll try my best >< #okay rambles over GAH I SHOULD EAT DINNER. maybe finish 1 hw as well b4 the day ends ehe #tbh most of my rambles ^^ are for ffxiv w the RPG part bcs tbh it is true when people say it is like an rpg + mmo aspects lol #but i really appreciate the mmo aspect >< it's strangely helped me w my social anxiety rather than worsen it! #it's helped me make new friends and great experiences and considering w/o the mmo aspect i'd probably be still #drowning in my misery from back then :O if it were not for ffxiv i sincerely doubt i would have talked again to my irl best friends so <3 #okay i will stop rambling now. tbh i don't think ... hm ... nvm. but anyway! no pressure ofc but yes i suggest u play ffxiv teehee #but if you really can't due to Reasons that is ofc fine as well! i don't want to seem like i'm forcin people wah ... #it is just a thing for ffxiv players to like advertising for ffxiv and i so happen to really like doing that lol ehbsjgh >< #uh i forgot what else i wanted to say but my throat is gabgjebgjhs so bye bye

[no-one-hears-me]

I really truly genuinely do not want to let him go

#I'm in denial. what order are the 5 stages of grief #like. i don't want it to be true. if it's true that means i can't forgive him this time and i can't go back #that can't happen i can't lose him #idk what to do #i feel so lost and helpless #i can't believe this happened. I'm so sad #i just want things to be good again. everything was so good #why did it have to change #was it worth it? was it worth all my pain #i don't know what to do #and now i have nobody. he was everything to me and now he's gone #it's been years. doesn't that mean anything to him? #but he doesn't want to lose me either. he'll do anything to keep me #but it's too late. we can't change the past and i can't pretend it didn't happen #he can apologize and promise to change but it's too late #and i wish it wasn't. i wish we had more time together #and i wish i wasn't so sensitive and emotional and nostalgic and attached #a stronger person would have let go a long long time ago. and would do it now without hesitation #but i can't. how could i just give up without looking back? i can't #I'm so sad #Sera