You Surprise Him On Tour ~ Lee Dongmin
You could barely keep your daughter in your hold as you followed behind the member of staff for the tour, making your way to the side of the stage. As soon as her eyes landed on Dongmin, her feet came off of the floor excitedly.
Once you were sure that they weren’t in the middle of something, you let her go as a loud squeal escaped her, catching everyone’s attention.
“Y/D/N?” Dongmin chuckled as he looked left and noticed your daughter sprinting towards him, kneeling down straight away.
“Daddy!” She laughed, leaping straight into his arms.
Behind her shoulder Dongmin noticed you walking towards the two of them, his smile quickly growing. “What are you guys doing? You’re not supposed to be here.”
“We thought we’d come and see how you were doing seeing as we had a bit of time on our hands,” you replied, stepping into Dongmin’s side as soon as you were close enough.
His head shook as he pressed a kiss against the top of your own, “I was just thinking this morning about how much I’m missing you guys.”
“We were missing you too,” you whispered, “that’s why we thought we’d come and see you.”
Your daughter nodded in agreement as you spoke, shuffling in Dongmin’s hold to be able to face you. “It’s a surprise,” she told Dongmin, the smile on her face still as wide as ever.
“It’s the best surprise ever,” Dongmin confirmed, pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose. “I had no idea that you guys were coming, how did you keep it a secret?”
Her shoulders shrugged as Dongmin tickled against her sides, knowing that the boys were all watching on, just as happy as Dongmin was to have the two of you there.
“Mummy told me that I had to be quiet,” she told him, staring across at you, “she said it would make you happy to be surprised.”
“It has,” he assured her, “I’ve never been happier to see you.”
As another kiss was placed against her nose by Dongmin, a giggle escaped your daughter. “I even got to listen to your songs on the plane, mummy said I needed to remember them for the show.”
Behind the three of you, several laughs came from the boys behind you, applauding you for the great music recommendations you gave your daughter for the flight.
“Start them young Y/N,” Jinwoo teased, “she’ll be the biggest aroha that there is in no time.”
As Jinwoo spoke, your daughter scrambled in Dongmin’s arms, suddenly realising who was behind her. Dongmin placed her down as the other boys all knelt down, your daughter rushing into their open arms as quickly as you could.
“I can’t believe you guys are here,” he whispered now that his arms were free, moving them around you to greet you properly, “how do you never fail to stun me?”
Your smile was wide as you tilted your head back to be able to look at Dongmin, relieved to see the smile on his face after seeing him frowning so often recently on your calls.
“We had a little bit of help to get here,” you explained to him.
Dongmin glanced back at the boys straight away, “I did think that they had been acting a little strange recently, now I know why.”
“I didn’t think that they’d be able to keep quiet,” you admitted.
Dongmin nodded in agreement with you, “I can’t remember a single secret that anyone has managed to keep in all the years together.”
There were several moments when you worried that you’d be dropped in it by the boys, but somehow, they managed to keep to their word.
“It’s been tough being away from you guys.”
“I know,” you sympathised with Dongmin, “but we’re here for a few days to try and cheer you up.”
Just the sound of your daughter’s laughter was enough for Dongmin as she played with the boys, it was the sound that he had missed the most on the road after all.
“And you get to see a show,” Dongmin added in reply proudly.
“Honestly, I’ve never seen Y/D/N so excited,” you informed him.
With a kiss pressed to the top of your head, Dongmin suggested showing the two of you around backstage. Your daughter hurried behind Dongmin, one hand in Minhyuk’s, the other in Sanha’s as she insisted that the boys all come along too.
There were no complaints from Dongmin as he walked around with all of his favourite people around him, showing the two of you everything that went on in the arena during a show day.
The size and grandness of everything took your daughter by complete surprise, her eyes were in awe looking around at everything, taking every last detail in.
“This is the last bit,” Dongmin told you both as he pushed one final door, “this is daddy’s favourite place backstage Y/D/N, this is where the food is.”
“Are we allowed to eat something daddy?”
As soon as Dongmin’s head nodded, your daughter pulled Minhyuk and Sanha forwards. “There’s so much,” she squealed excitedly, bouncing up and down once again.
“She definitely takes after you,” you told Dongmin, shaking your head at her enthusiasm.
“You might want to go and supervise otherwise she’ll be filling her plate right up.”
Dongmin let go of your hand so that you could catch up with your daughter, hitting against the back of both Minhyuk and Sanha’s head as they filled her plate up with sweet treats.
“She can’t just eat doughnuts and cakes,” you warned them both, “I forgot how much of a bad influence you guys are on my daughter whilst you’ve been on the road.”
“You’re on holiday,” Sanha chuckled, “just have a treat for a little while Y/N.”
Your eyes rolled as he snuck yet another cake onto your daughter’s plate, reminding you that it was you and Dongmin who would have to deal with her when her energy levels inevitably shot through the roof.
As she stared up at you with wide eyes too, not wanting to take anything away, you struggled to say no to her. Your only hope was that the concert would be enough to exhaust her and leave her fast asleep when you got back to the hotel that night.
Whether she was up all night or snoozing though, Dongmin knew he wouldn’t mind. Just having the two of you back with him, even if it was just for a few nights, was easily the only thing that mattered to him.
“I’ll deal with her,” Dongmin promised you as he appeared beside you.
Your eyes raised as Dongmin spoke, “I’ll hold you to that you know, I’ve had her for weeks at home running around, asking where you are.”
“I’ve got this,” he assured you, nudging against your side. “Hopefully the adrenaline of the show will keep me going if she’s bouncing off of the walls when we get back to the hotel tonight.”
“She’s your daughter, that’s inevitable, right?”
“I regret how much she takes after me sometimes.”
---
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Translucence (m) | Astro LDM
Pairing: Cha Eunwoo x Reader (Lee Dongmin x Reader)
A Jinjin cameo? hehe
Established Relationship, slice of life, fluff, PWP, smut
Warnings: glass bathroom you heard me lol, explicit content, unprotected sex, this is smut with minimal plot (it’s becoming my style), a sprinkle of voyeurism, maybe a noona kink, maybe Dongmin's splendid ass is mentioned more than once
Word Count: ~4.2k
Author’s Note: Heyyy~ Finally posting my first ASTRO fic! This has been waiting to be released for a while now, but the timing wasn’t working out… But now that it’s done, I hope that you enjoy this little story! Let me know what you think~ And a special thank you to the lovely @the-boy-meets-evil for looking over my story, I really loved your comments, Jess <3
© Please do not copy/ post on other platforms without permission.
Summary: It’s your first short vacation with Dongmin since you started dating, and you get a chance to stay at an extremely fancy hotel in Jeju. The ocean-view suite is perfect, yet there’s a small inconvenience… or a genius design?
Network tags: @superm-net @exo-writers-net @bbh-net @k-vanity @ksmutsociety
It was your first time taking a vacation together.
With the type of hectic schedule Dongmin had to maintain, you barely managed to book the hotel of your dreams for this weekend, which was actually your one-year anniversary. Two days was all you had, and you planned to enjoy them to the fullest, start to finish.
Which was why you’d surprised your boyfriend by appearing clad in a white sundress with a stylish wide brim hat to match. It was a simple feminine look, yet it set the mood from the start.
‘Wow, I’m suddenly looking forward to our flight…’ He smiled at you softly before murmuring, ‘You look beautiful.’
Avoiding his eyes timidly, you chewed on your lip to contain a silly grin. Dongmin took the handle of your suitcase to put it away in the trunk of the car.
‘Let’s get going, we have to be at the airport in thirty,’ Jinwoo’s voice startled you as the window on the driver’s side rolled down. ‘You’ll have a whole hour to exchange your lovey-dovey stares on the plane, children.’
‘Hyung…’ Dongmin mumbled in embarrassment, and you coughed, sliding into the backseat while your boyfriend’s palm hovered above your head protectively.
‘I’m older than you, Jinwoo-yah,’ you scolded, and he hummed in response.
‘Barely!’ He glanced in the rearview mirror, meeting your eyes, and added. ‘Noona.’
You shook your head in disapproval, and turned to Dongmin, who settled in the backseat with you and moved to buckle you up.
‘I can do it! Let’s not make Jinwoo cringe.’
‘Why would he cringe…’ Your boyfriend pouted, watching you tug at the seatbelt.
‘I’m fine unless you start the funny business,’ the leader announced nonchalantly from the front seat.
‘Have you ever caught us doing anything?’ You huffed, and the car was silent for a few long seconds. ‘Have you??’
‘Does hearing count?’ He asked, and your boyfriend’s eyes almost bulged out of his head.
‘Shut up,’ you laughed nervously, only half-assured that it was a joke.
‘It’s actually true. It was when we all stayed at the dorm for a sleepover. You rustle like mice,’ Jinwoo recalled.
‘What?? We weren’t doing anything fu-’
Dongmin’s hand suddenly squeezed your thigh, putting a stop to your protesting speech.
‘Please, just… change the subject, noona.’
~
Teasing you and Dongmin was Astro members’ favorite pastime, and you noticed from the very beginning. They simply loved making him a flustered mess. Not that you couldn’t relate – the face genius looked almost unbearably cute when embarrassed. You weren’t a stranger to teasing him yourself, just to get your fix of his adorable shy smile and his extensive nagging about how you never let him breathe.
In fact, he loved to nag. It was his way of showing affection.
‘Ah, noona… Your dress is so revealing,’ he kept whining while you were on the plane. ‘D’you know how active the sun is in Jeju? Did you apply the sunscreen thoroughly?’
‘Yes. But you can reapply it if you want an excuse to touch my chest,’ you murmured, making him flush red and lower his voice to a scandalized whisper.
‘That’s not what I meant-’
‘I’m sure it isn’t.’ You hummed, laying your head on his shoulder. ‘But I’d still let you.’
The flight from Seoul to Jeju Island was rather quick, about one hour in the air. And it seemed to be over even faster since you were too busy whispering, giggling like lovestruck teenagers, and ‘oh’-ing in excitement as you looked out the illuminator.
Going on a trip with your boyfriend was something you’d been dreaming of for months now, so your mood was through the roof from the moment you woke up. It kept gradually increasing while you were on your way to the dream destination, and reached its peak when Dongmin rented a car to drive the two of you to the hotel.
‘If anything is better than this view,’ you turned away from the window to look at your boyfriend’s relaxed form. ‘It’s probably this.’
‘What?’ He glanced at you, not catching your meaning.
‘You.’
He huffed, scolding you for being cheesy.
‘What, I’ve told you this before! You look most handsome either when you’re driving or when your hair gets wet.’
‘I shall try driving with wet hair someday. Will that make you explode?’
‘Is that your goal?’ You asked, tracing your index finger down the side of his neck, which made him squirm.
‘Stop it, you know I’m ticklish…’
‘You’re not ticklish, you’re sensitive.’ You corrected, running the pads of your fingers over his skin again to make him shudder. ‘So, who’s exploding now?’
He gave you a reproachful look, and you chuckled, pinching his cheek to annoy him further.
‘Why do you have to be so shameless, noona…’
‘Don’t you love that about me?’ You asked playfully.
‘I do,’ he was quick to admit. ‘I love everything about you.’
Caught off guard by his sudden confession, you fell silent. Dongmin didn’t say things like this often, he was a bit reserved about his feelings. You actually recalled that he’d only said ‘the three words’ twice in the span of your relationship. And on one of those occasions he was actually drunk, so… yeah. He was strangely tight-lipped about it for the romantic that he was.
But you’d learned to accept it. You wouldn’t push him to do something he didn’t want to or wasn’t ready to do. So, you just said nothing before your hotel was finally visible.
‘This is great, we can just drop everything and head out to the beach! I’m living for this weather,’ you said, clapping your hands in excitement.
Dongmin nodded in agreement.
As expected, the hotel was splendorous. You noticed that while your boyfriend was checking you in. Taking those few minutes to look around, you found yourself ogling the crystal-clear glass constructions that separated the lobby and the waiting area. The outer wall was also steel and glass, so you could enjoy the beautiful landscapes of Jeju even from there.
‘Let’s go,’ a low voice called, and you followed the tall figure to the elevator.
You really wanted to give him a back hug as he pressed the button, but decided to at least wait until you were on your floor.
Dongmin took your suitcase, which made you pout, unable to hold his hand.
‘I think it’s here,’ he guided you to the door and used the card to open it. ‘After you.’
And there went your plan to give him a back hug. Up in flames.
You sighed and stepped into the room.
‘Oh!’ You exclaimed, rushing to get rid of your outdoor shoes in favor of slippers. ‘Let’s check the view! Come on!’
Surprised by your eagerness, your boyfriend shook his footwear off as well, reaching out his hand to allow you to tug him towards the balcony.
‘Oh my god, this is even better than I expected!’ You squealed, almost jumping in excitement, and squeezed his palm. ‘My hands are itching to take pictures! Come on, lean on this railing.’
Knowing better than to argue with you, he did exactly as he was told, and posed for you.
‘Ah, so handsome,’ you kept repeating, while preserving this moment in the form of a photograph.
Dongmin lost his patience in about a minute, pulling you closer to his body.
‘Are you interested in the view or in spending time with me?’
‘I see you every other day, and it’s my first time in Jeju, of course I’m interested in the view!’ You exclaimed. ‘Especially when you’re making it even better.’
He allowed you to kiss away his pout, and held you close for a selfie.
‘No, my head looks too big like this!’
You jumped in place to reach the phone, because your partner refused to take likable pictures.
‘I got it, I got it,’ he assured you, angling it to make the two of you look disproportionate again.
When you pinched him angrily, he laughed in the cheekiest way possible, begging for mercy instantly.
At least then you’d managed to finally take presentable photos.
Leaving you to admire the ocean some more, Dongmin headed back inside to unpack your belongings. You needed to change into your swimsuits if you wanted to enjoy the rest of the day on the beach.
‘Uh- noona?’
‘Mhm?’
‘Did you… see that?’
His voice sounded confused, so you followed it back into the room.
‘See wha- Omo! Is this..?’
You turned to your boyfriend, who denied you eye contact.
‘Glass bathroom.’ He noted blankly, without showing what his actual feelings about it were.
Was he shy? Anxious? Excited? Uncomfortable? You couldn’t decipher his expression for the life of you.
‘Yeah,’ you agreed.
It was a simple yet exquisite design, no one could argue that it looked good. But the problem was that the bathroom here had no wall separating it from the main bedroom space. Which could only mean…
‘Well, I’m sure we’ll manage,’ you shrugged, walking past Dongmin to find your change of clothes. ‘Get your swimwear out while I change. And don’t peek!’
He grumbled under his breath and you snickered faintly. Damn, you were going to have to face the bathroom issue at some point today. And you should mentally prepare.
It wasn’t on your mind for long though.
As soon as you hit the beach… The beautiful clear sky, the warm sand under your bare feet, the lagoon blue water – all of it occupied your head and made you forget all of the possible inconveniences.
‘Don’t swim away,’ Dongmin nagged, stretching out his arms to reach you.
‘Why, scared of going in deep water?’ You teased him, splashing him lightly with your foot.
‘Noona,’ he sulked, and you allowed the waves to push you towards your boyfriend.
As soon as you were within his reach again, he pulled you closer to his body, not caring too much about the spectators.
‘What now, giant baby?’
‘Don’t call me that,’ Dongmin murmured, and you instantly knew he wanted a kiss.
‘There’s too many people, Min-ah,’ you responded, placing your palm on his chest, covered by the soaked white fabric of his tee.
‘Just once,’ he badgered, stepping closer to you.
Of course, his feet were still grounded where you were floating.
‘Why should I?’ You feigned a complaining tone, glancing at his plump lips.
‘Because.’
Dongmin’s hands seized you by the waist, and your forearms prickled with goosebumps.
Staying still while he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours, you’d allowed him to steal this quick kiss before swimming away again.
You had literally spent all day in the water, taking short breaks to let your wrinkled skin get back to normal. And reapply sunscreen again, of course, with your boyfriend being a total worrywart.
‘I don’t want you to get sunburnt. Your skin is so fair and delicate, it’s important to make sure it’s protected. Did you know getting sunburned increases your chances of skin cancer?’
A worrywart and a smartass.
It was hard to be mad at his smart (and round) ass though, when he had brilliant ideas like tonight. Dongmin had suggested ordering a fancy dinner to your room and having it on your balcony to enjoy the view.
‘Wah, the sunset is perfect today,’ you said.
‘Your dress goes well with it. Very chic and minimalistic.’ His eyes followed the curve of your waist down to your thigh.
‘I’ve had it forever, but I have no clue where else to wear a red silk gown.’
‘Don’t.’ Dongmin’s cheeks and lips were both red from the wine. ‘Only wear it for me, noona.’
Chuckling, you rose from your seat and stepped closer to your boyfriend. Using just your index finger, you tipped his head up to meet his eyes, and then you put your right knee onto his chair, right between his thighs.
‘Are you telling me what to do now, aegi?’ You asked, enjoying the sensation of his gentle fingers ghosting over your thighs.
‘It’s your decision, but why would you deny me this request?’ His hand became more confident, creeping up your bare skin now. ‘Are you hungry for someone else’s attention?’
‘How drunk are you, Dongmin-ah?’ You asked, brushing your lips against his. ‘Because it seems like you could do something right here, where people might see us.’
Straightening up, you smiled angelically at him.
‘We need to shower and cool off. I’m pretty sure I have sand where it shouldn’t be.’
It was obvious that he was disappointed, but the night was young, and to fully enjoy the experience you had to sober up a little. But it was nothing a quick shower couldn’t fix.
‘You go first, I’ll get rid of the dishes. Don’t argue,’ you cut him off, nodding at the entrance to your room. ‘Go.’
It took you only a few minutes to tidy up, so when you walked in Dongmin was just starting out. The water was on, and he was in front of the glass door, almost ready to step in.
The realization hit you right then. You were going to see all of it. And you didn’t hate the idea.
You’d watched, as if in slow motion, how your boyfriend shoved his underwear down, revealing his plump butt, and got into the bath. Feeling no shame whatsoever, you stood your ground, staring at his bare back.
The water hit his body, languidly running down his smooth skin like a dozen forest streams. From where you were standing you could see the enticing flex of his muscles and the breathtaking curve of his waist. As he leaned in to wet his hair, you pressed a palm to your mouth. This slight voyeurism was making you quite… hot. And bothered.
Swallowing hard, you took a step towards him. You were a bit uneasy with the thought of how he might react. At least you’d hoped that he wouldn’t consider you a complete pervert. But you couldn’t resist the obvious temptation; it was most likely what this bathroom was built for. After all, you still owed him a back hug in your mind from earlier… Surely, he wouldn’t mind that you decided to give it to him now, you thought.
Easily sliding your dress and underwear off, you stopped in front of the glass that was getting foggy already.
‘Dongmin-ah,’ you called, opening the glass door to join him. ‘Noona doesn’t have to wait, does she?’
There was no way you could get a coherent response to your question as your hands wrapped around him and your cheek pressed to his shoulder blade. You felt him freeze for a moment, probably startled by your actions, and then he sighed under his breath.
‘What are you up to now? I thought you wanted me to cool off.’
‘Did you now?’ You hummed, pressing a quick succession of kisses along his spine. ‘Would you like me to stop?’
He pressed his palm to the wall in order to maintain his balance under the attack of your tantalizing hands.
‘No.’
Snaking your hand down to cup his balls, you smiled at his gasp of surprise.
‘That’s what I thought.’
With your body pressed so tightly to his, you didn’t even think twice before grinding on his ass and urging him to moan out loud as your fingers wrapped around his semi-hard penis.
‘Noona…’ He gritted, glutes flexing against your pelvis impatiently. ‘What are you doing…’
‘You don’t like it?’
Dongmin glanced at you over his shoulder before turning to face you. His hands gripped your sides and pushed you into him.
‘Were you watching me this entire time?’ He scolded in his low, velvety voice.
‘It was just a couple minutes,’ you defended weakly and wrapped your arms around his neck, ready to purr as his palms stroked up and down your back.
‘I see.’
You stood like that for a few moments, soaking in the warmth of your entangled bodies while the water splashed you from the side.
‘Didn’t you mention having sand in places it shouldn’t be?’ He murmured, hands dipping lower to squeeze your ass. ‘Want some help with that?’
‘How naughty,’ you snickered, messing up his wet hair even further. ‘Would you rather help me clean up, or...?’
‘Or.’
He responded in a heartbeat, gripping you tight before lifting you up to settle you in the bathroom wall niche.
‘But I can always do both,’ he said, readjusting the shower head to splash you with water again.
You squealed and dragged him in the line of fire as well. Inevitably in ten seconds you were both properly soaked.
‘There was no need to get my hair wet. You look sexy like this, and I look like I need to use a hairdryer real bad.’
He ignored your complaints, leaning close and nearly grazing your lips. With your eyes shut, you waited a few seconds but nothing happened.
‘Were you expecting a kiss?’ He grinned in your face, eyes crinkling in mischief. ‘Aw, what a tiny baby…’
Recalling your earlier interactions in the water, you rolled your eyes at him.
‘So, this is your revenge?’ You asked, not resisting as he wrapped your legs around his waist to move even closer. ‘I don’t find it fair since I did let you kiss me. In public.’
He huffed in response to your statement.
‘You call that a kiss?’
Dongmin’s lips suddenly found yours, and you couldn’t avoid the contact. Tilting your head back you hit the tiled surface, but, thankfully, your boyfriend could predict this move. His palm on the back of your head cushioned the hit, and you could only squeak in surprise, parting your lips invitingly.
He wasn’t the type to waste an opportunity like that. And once Dongmin’s tongue was in your mouth, there was no point in fighting him. Your partner was a little too good at French kissing, and you could easily admit to being hopelessly weak to his talent. He was also a toucher, so whenever a makeout session started, his hands would be all over you.
Moaning as he squeezed your breast gently, you pushed against his chest to break the kiss. Your lips were moist, and you were sure it wasn’t because of the water still running, and you licked them in a failed attempt to gather your thoughts together. Dongmin used your momentary struggle to tease you.
‘That is what I call a kiss, noona. You know this.’
You gulped, trying to think of a good comeback. At this point, you really just wanted to surrender. But him being smug about it was an obstacle: you had no intention of pleasing his ego with instant capitulation.
Grabbing a handful of his hair, you pulled hard. His head whipped back, and you didn’t think twice before latching onto his neck hungrily.
Dongmin’s grunt was the single sexiest thing in the entire situation, not even the sight of his broad shoulders that you were holding onto right now or his curvaceous butt that you loved so much could compete with the sound he produced. It was both surprised and pained, loud and husky with pleasure. You could tell he was conflicted about it just from the way his fingers dug into the skin of your sides, almost scratching at your ribcage, while his cock twitched, pressed between your bodies. He needed to get you off of himself but did he want to?
Pulling away from his flushed neck, you tugged at his hair again just to hear him groan beautifully before he used his strength to tear your hand away from his hair.
‘Noona. You know how heavily it bruises,’ he rubbed his neck with the pads of his fingers. ‘Why would you?’
‘On a scale from one to ten,’ you murmured, brushing wet hair out of his eyes. ‘How much did you hate it?’
You touched the tender skin of his neck, just where the redness was growing, and his breath seemed to get shakier.
‘…s-seven,’ he mumbled.
‘Mm?’
Dongmin cleared his throat, staring at you through his dark eyelashes.
‘Three point seven,’ he offered this time, and you couldn’t help but smile.
‘That’s more like it,’ you hummed, finding his frowning lips in a quick peck.
Meanwhile, he reached down to wrap his fingers around his rock-solid cock to guide it where you both wanted it.
‘Ough-’ You gasped as he bottomed out in one go. ‘Don’t be impatient.’
Your boyfriend’s hips didn’t slow down one bit, although his next thrust seemed slightly more careful. He loved you but he was also damn stubborn.
The glass wall behind Dongmin was getting cloudier from the hot water, which you didn’t hate. The enclosed space seemed snugger now that you were isolated from your surroundings in a way, holding so tightly onto each other. Your skin was slippery under your partner’s fingers, yet he made sure to secure you in his arms. He liked to make it known that once he got you, he wasn’t letting go.
‘Mm- Dongmin-ah,’ you moaned, clutching his shoulder to ground yourself as he kept thrusting quickly.
‘There,’ he finished for you, already knowing what you wanted to express from the way that you tightened around him.
‘Yes, fuck-’
‘Don’t you wish you were more compliant earlier?’ He chuckled darkly, knowing damn well his hips were steadily pushing you towards your release.
The curses you muttered only spurred him on. He got fired up easily, and wanted nothing more than to see and hear you come undone. Especially when he felt he was denied something – like access to your body.
‘I’m… so close, Min-ah, please- You feel so good.’
You knew he liked to stay in control, so instead of bickering with him mid-sex, you just let him know how great he was at what he was doing. A tiny smile that he couldn’t contain revealed that he was pleased with the option you decided to take. With that, he got slightly more determined and aggressive in his thrusting. Patience was not the virtue that he possessed, so you simply closed your eyes, focused on the grind of your bodies.
‘God, I love you so much,’ he gritted, letting out a curse under his breath.
The words were muffled, but you heard them loud and clear. A pleasant shiver ran down your spine, and you moaned, muscles clenching around his cock. The smooth sensation of his length sliding in and out of you made your legs start to tremble.
‘Dongminie-’ You wailed as his hips kept up the brutal pace that brought you to your release so quickly.
He was still going fast and strong while you yelped, on the verge of pushing him away.
‘I’m there, I’m there… Y/N! Agh-’
Dongmin’s voice reverberated from the walls, not even absorbed by the thickened fog around you that you barely noticed. He groaned loudly as he came, and your pussy quivered while you took all of what he was giving you.
Resting his forehead in the crook of your neck to get a breather, he ran his hands up and down your damp waist. You allowed him a moment to gather his strength, finding his slumped shoulders and stroking them along with his back. There were still butterflies in your stomach – either from your recent orgasm, or from him sneaking in the words you cherished so much, or both.
His hands soon reciprocated.
‘Dammit.’ He cursed, turning his head to kiss your neck that was in close proximity. ‘I feel like I could go again.’
The announcement made you squirm. Going several rounds was more than fine with you, but the bathroom wasn’t really suited for his appetites. You could barely hold your balance on wet tile, and it was also getting too hot and humid for your taste.
‘Are you cold?’ He asked, breaking you out of your thoughts.
You realized his palm was slowly caressing your back, feeling almost scorching against your skin.
‘Not too cold. But I’d still prefer to continue after we finish the shower.’ You suggested, hoping that he wasn’t dead set on milking the bathroom thing further.
‘Noona needs to lie down. I got it.’
You were both grateful and annoyed at his answer.
‘Noona can very well be on top if someone lets her.’
He quickly let you down from the niche you were occupying. Just to remind you how much taller and broader than you he was, for sure.
‘Someone prefers to have noona underneath. Nice and pliable.’
‘It has to be your way, doesn’t it?’
You exchanged naughty chuckles.
‘Come on. Haven’t you been imagining exactly this since the moment you saw the bathroom area? I’m not entirely convinced it was my way just now.’
‘Oh well. I guess I’ll have to convince you once we get to the bedroom.’
‘Who said I wanted to relocate?’ He asked, eyes narrowing at you cunningly.
You were positive that next time you should go for a glass jacuzzi to get the best of both worlds. It’s bigger, warmer, comfier… And still see-though. And hot as hell.
Dongmin snorted, inspecting the pensive expression on your face.
‘I’ll give you a five-second head start to reach the bed. If I catch you on the way… We’re doing it here.’
In any other situation you would’ve called him out for his childishness. This time, however…
You were out the glass door in a heartbeat.
Masterlist
A/N: Thank you for reading!! Please comment and reblog if you'd like to support me ✨ I don't write for fandoms other than EXO often, so feedback is important to me~
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taesan + facesitting
warnings: fem!reader, facesitting ofc, one mention of insecurity, way too much detail, bit of hair pulling, dirty talk, one smack, male masturbation, use of his real name, bro eats pussy like he hasn’t eaten in 17 days, cum eating.
SMUT UNDER THE CUT! MDNI
one day dongmin became curious about face-sitting. little did he know, that was something you really wished to try out. he trusts you a lot, so he knows he can tell you something he’s curious about without any sort of hesitation. he would come to you all excited and say he’d want to try something new, which you were always up for.
you two would go through your usual heavy petting + messy makeout session as he undresses you with a sort of urgency. it made you even more excited as to what he wanted to try, he didn’t tell you right away as he wanted to surprise you. once all clothes were torn away, he’d look at you for a second, out of breath from kissing you, and ask “can you sit on my face?” it would be so blunt, catching you off guard. your cheeks would heat up from his bluntness, but also from the fact that you love the idea of sitting on his pretty face. “are you sure? what if i crush you?” you said as your head tilted down with a bit of insecurity. “no! please, it would be so hot! i don’t care if you crush me, i’ll gladly suffoca-” “HAN DONGMIN!” you scolded him as you felt the presence of heat on your face get warmer. he was trying to make light of your insecurity, which you appreciated, but still the vulgarity of it all was a bit embarrassing.
“are you sure?” you asked with a shaky voice as he quickly got into position, comfortable on his back as he reached his hand out. “yes! please, i want you to so bad!” he’d say as you took his hand, straddling his torso with a bit of caution. “if i crush you just push me off, okay?” you’d say with a stern voice. he shook his head, looking up at you with the cutest puppy dog eyes, then would promise you that he would. “now put that cute pussy on my face!” he’d say with a goofy smile as he witnessed your eyes widen, then roll at his boldness.
you hesitantly moved up his body, getting into place. the view of him underneath you was more than enough to already make your mind fuzzy. once he was eye level with your pussy, he latched his arms around your thighs. he essentially put you in place, holding you tightly as his fingernails were digging into the soft skin of your thighs. you hadn’t even fully sat on his face yet and he was already this excited? it made you smile to yourself seeing the effect this position had on him.
“r-ready?” you said as you felt the butterflies in your tummy get more intense. he nodded his head as you gently took your seat on your boyfriend’s face. he wasn’t pleased with how lightly you were sitting on him, he was disappointed you would even think to hover, so he took matters into his own hands. “no hovering!” he said as he smacked your thigh, and pushed your thighs down, smothering his face with your already soaked pussy.
“wait- hold on!” you whined out as he start licking all around your folds like a madman. normally, he would lick you with controlled movements, paying attention to your every reaction. it was almost as if this act was causing him more pleasure than you. you weren’t complaining, though, the sight of him losing his cool underneath you was such a turn on.
he stopped for a moment to speak absolute filth to you. “you’re so pretty, taste so so good, god- i could eat this pussy forever.” he said, completely breathless as he gripped even tighter onto your thighs, pushing you down even closer to him. the sensation of his tongue licking all around your clit, all the sensitive spots of your pussy, was so good. the combination of his words, made you throw your head back. “g-good so fucking good.” you felt him smile into your body as he continued using his tongue against you. it was practically like he was making out with your cunt at this point with the way he was kissing, licking it all over.
the next move took you completely by surprise, though. his tongue fully penetrated your soaked cunt, pumping the muscle in and out of your body. “f-fuck dongmin! that’s too much!” you cried out at the sensation. you grabbed onto his hair in desperation, feeling yourself already growing close from just how intensely hot this moment was. you started to rock back and forth, riding his face all while tugging on his hair. “keep going- almost there.” you said as you felt your high even closer now. you felt yourself so close to the edge when you noticed a wet sound coming from something other than his mouth latched onto your pussy.
“oh my god are you touching yourself?” you asked, completely shocked. you felt him smile into your body again, nodding enthusiastically as you heard him continue to pump himself. in the heat of the moment, you couldn’t stop it, it was all too much. you felt the pressure in your tummy finally release. you threw your head back, finishing so hard from everything going on. from the face sitting to the grip he had on your body to him unashamedly playing with his cock, it was almost too much to handle. he helped you ride through your orgasm, making sure you enjoyed every second of it.
you were absolutely on cloud nine. your head felt dizzy as that had been one of the best orgasms you think you’ve had in your entire life. “enough, please.” you said to him as you pulled him away by his hair, not even realizing what you had done as you were too overwhelmed with sensitivity. he moaned out at the sensation. you got off him, throwing your body into the soft sheets right next to him. you immediately snuggled up to him, basking in the afterglow of your orgasm. “that was-” “so fucking hot!” he finished your sentence for you, your eyes closed with tiredness as you felt like all your energy had been taken from you, but you could tell he was smiling as he said it. you took a second to gather yourself, then opened your eyes to see a mouthwatering sight in front of you.
“dongmin, did you cum all over yourself?” you asked, completely dumbfounded seeing the ropes of cum all along his stomach. “huh? oh, i guess i did.” he said as he smiled at you. you took your fingers, lightly tracing along his stomach, collecting some of his essence on your fingers. you licked it up from your fingers all while looking directly at him. “guess i should return the favor, huh?” you smiled at him, feeling a sudden surge of energy. “maybe you should, i was so good for you.” he said as you smirked at each other. this was going to be a long night.
end.
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‘she’s all mine’ han dongmin
warnings - tired minnie lol, reader is mentioned as “my girl.”
genre - fluff, comfort, han taesan x fem!reader, established relationship au, idol x non idol au
wc - 0.3k words
all bf!dongmin wants to do at the end of the day is crash at your place. some days after long practices, the other members aren’t even surprised when he doesn’t go home with them.
your head turns in the direction of your front door from your kitchen. you had been cutting an orange for yourself as a late night snack.
your face immediately softened when the tired boy dropped his bag and began to walk in your direction.
‘how was practice?’ you asked your boyfriend who was only inches away from you now. he dove his head straight into the crook of your neck, along with his arms circled around your waist. he answered with, ‘mmm, it was ok…jus’ wanna lay with you though…’
you giggled quietly, your hands weaving into his hair, scratching slightly at the nape.
‘c’mon, let’s go, love.’ you took his hands in your from around your waist and led him towards your bedroom. you sat down on the edge of your bed when dongmin came crashing down upon you, his pretty nose poking your collarbone.
quiet mumbles were heard coming from him. you could barely make out what he was saying. ‘what did you say, min…?’
his arms around your waist tightened as he spoke his next words. ‘i’m so happy you’re mine…’
dongmin’s sudden display of love for you caught you off guard, you had to admit. honestly, he was never one for pda or verbal affection.
your boyfriend showed his love for you by quiet little actions. a simple peck on the head or pinkies being interlaced was all you needed to know that he cared for you.
‘i’m pretty happy about that myself.’ you smiled while replying to him. you could feel his lips morphing into a simple against your skin.
‘my girl…she’s all mine…’ he propped himself up on his hands, now hovering over you with a comforting smile. your smile grows even wider as you say, ‘all yours, my love.’
©️harufluff 2023
a/n - sorry i haven’t posted like at all lmao. there’s a lot of life stuff happening rn, so i hope you can understand. love youuuuuuu!!
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say please? 🥺
“Open your legs baby, come on.”
You shook your head in disagreement.
Your boyfriend’s piercing eyes didn’t leave yours, not even for a second, as he was cowered in front of you, begging on his knees like the good boy that he was.
His long fingers softly glided over your shins up to your thighs, but you still denied him access.
“Baby, just do it.”
A soft energy surrounded him as he was trying to seduce you.
Eun Woo had multiple sides to him, but he knew that you liked his whiny, pleading characteristics the most. Seeing him in such a state of contrast ignited a fire within you, one that would burn you with deep desire.
His appearance exuded an aura of danger, his well-defined physique and tousled hair presenting a captivating, heartthrob allure. Yet underneath this exterior, he radiated warmth and kindness, embodying qualities of compassion and love.
“Don’t you want me to make you feel good?”
His deep voice was hushed, yet sweet as honey. His eyes were glistening, painfully needy of his one true love.
“Open your legs for me. Come on, princess.”
You shook your head once more.
Eagerly.
Eun Woo chuckled in frustration, deciding on taking another route.
“So, you don’t want my lips on the insides of your thighs? Pampering you with kisses? Soft, sweet kisses? The ones that are moist? Is that it?”
You felt your thighs tingling, immediately responding to his words, screaming at you.
“Now open your legs for me, honey.”
He noticed you squeezing your thighs together in response and smirked internally, knowing that his tactics were paying off. Eun Woo got up on his knees and propped his arms on both of your sides, leaning in for a kiss but stopping right before touching your lips.
His scent was intoxicating.
His breath was too sweet.
Everything in you fought hard to not give in.
“You know that I can make you feel really good, don’t you, baby? The kind that has you high for days? Hooked even?”
He watched you cautiously, all his focus was on you. You heard him whisper sultrily once more.
“Open your legs for me, darling.”
Eun Woo’s eyes darted down to your throat, only for a millisecond, catching you gulping hardly. He knew what he was doing to you, just as you knew what your resistance to him did. But now he was getting impatient.
He turned his head to the side and graced your ear with his soft lips.
“Let me taste you, baby girl. I really want to fucking taste you. Slide my tongue into your wet pussy. You are wet for me, aren’t you, baby?”
He noticed your chest heaving heavily, going all in now.
“Let me tell you what I want to do to you, y/n. You are going to open your legs for me, and I will dive head-first into your precious cunt. And I will drink you up like juice. I’m going to circle on your clit, poking and sucking until you’re jelly for me. Let me make that cherry pop, baby girl.”
A soft moan escaped your lips, his words definitely painted a picture for you.
“Open your legs for me, now.”
You felt the heat in your body, but you decided to make him wait a little longer, you needed him agitated for a bit longer.
Eun Woo clicked his tongue impatiently; the annoyance was written all over his face.
“After I made your cherry pop, I’ll be sliding my tongue into your hole, baby girl. Sliding in and out, in and out while your delicious juices will be drooping all over me. Let me lick your folds. Let me lick you clean. Please just let me tongue-fuck you. Please.”
His voice was almost breaking, his need for you too unbearable.
Eun Woo turned around to face you again while breathing deeply. He noticed your dilated pupils and flared nostrils; he could even sense your pussy’s heat from up here.
Fuck, you both needed each other badly, so he tried one last time.
“Open your legs for me, baby. Please?”
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𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓𝐃𝐎𝐎𝐑 + 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐄𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒
warning: none that i can think, however, i wrote this with bestfriend!bonedo in mind !
sungho ; a little shocked. he seems like the type to always be shocked whenever someone confesses to him, generally, but when he figures out it was you - he's a little speechless. he's so touched and you can tell through how he looks at you; his gaze is softer, more reverent. and it's in the way he touches you, his hands cupping your cheeks, making you look up at him, thumbs brushing over the crest of your cheek bones.
"i kept all of them." he tells you, showing you the box he keeps in his closet, filled with every letter you've ever sent him. some of the papers are more crumpled than other, as if they'd been used; folded and unfolded countless times. and he gives you this shy smile, reaching a hand over to grab yours, lacing the fingers together and promising to pay you back.
riwoo ; he gets so flustered. the thought of someone feeling so strongly about him that they write him a letter telling him how much they like him? he's honored. however, he seems like the type to already be pining for his best friend, so he doesn't take the letter as seriously as he would have otherwise. but once he figures out it was you, when he sees you slipping a letter into his duffel bag in the practice room, he's immediately interested, instantly confronting you.
"you wrote these?" he'd ask, looking at you with big eyes, as if he isn't fully convinced. "really? you really feel that way about me?" and he gets so overwhelmed when you nod, your face burning at the attention, he just walks over, his hands cupping your neck, making you look at him. "can i kiss you? i really wanna kiss you right now."
jaehyun ; he gets cocky. especially if he catches you slipping one into his bag. he'd walk up to you, giving you that crooked smile he has, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you flush into his side, lovingly teasing you for leaving him little love notes when you could've just told him. nevertheless, he loves it and when he lets you know how much he loves it, how much he loves you.
"you're so cute, y'know that?" he mumbles, rubbing his hand up and down your arm and cooing at how flustered you are. "but why didn't you just tell me. i thought i made my feelings pretty obvious." he jokes, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your temple, letting his lips linger on the skin for a moment longer than needed. "lemme take you out. just the two of us i can show you how much i like you."
taesan ; it makes him so shy. the minute he finds the box of love letters under your bed in your room, all addressed to him, he can't help the blush that coats his features. he'd wait a little while before he confronted you about it, pouring over the letters when you weren't there, trying to commit every part of them to memory. and when he does finally confront you about them, he's still so shy, stuttering his way through it.
"i... i saw your letters." he blurts, pulling one out from the pocket of his coat, watching as your eyes widen in shock and abject horror. "i wanted t-to tell you that... i feel the same." and he'd definitely write you a letter in return, detailing how enamored he's been with you for years, starting the letters with dear love and signing them your dongmin.
leehan ; seems like the type to have a lot of admirers, so he's not too fazed when he finds the letter you left for him. but, as he's reading it, he can't help but notice how familiar the writing is, in both handwriting and words. he'd absolutely figure out it was you on his own, but he'd wait for you to say something. he doesn't want to pressure you or make you uncomfortable in anyway. you're is baby, after all.
"i know." he'd say, giving you a soft smile, his gaze impossibly gentle as he looks down at you. and he laughs when you ask him how he could've known, saying, "we've been friends since before i can remember, i'd be concerned if i didn't." but he stops when he realizes how shy you'd gotten, grabbing your hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. "i liked it, y/n. i like you."
woonhak ; a self-proclaimed romantic, he loves it so much. he's definitely the type to run up to you after he gets the letter, excitedly telling you about how he found the letters he's been getting in his mailbox. it isn't until he notices how quiet you've gotten that he connects the dots. and then he's so sweet, and so happy, his best friend, the person he's been pining over for years, wrote him a love letter?
"you don't even know-" he cuts himself off, a big smile taking over his features as he gathers you in his arms, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head, his hold tightening as the seconds go by. "did you mean all that stuff? like really?" and he can't help but pull you in even tighter when you nod against his chest, voice muffled as you tell him you did. "thank god."
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oml do you write for bnd? If so, how cuddly do you think the members aree?
💌 — I do omg !!! (Fun fact they’re the first 5th gen group I got into :b)
— SFW :b
⋆ P. Sungho
I’d say he’s more touchy than he is cuddly, not the type to always be hanging off of you or smushed to your side. He sits somewhere in the middle, although he does love having his arm over your shoulders, it makes it easier to pull you into his chest when you’re in public/around other people. He isn’t very grabby himself but he loves having a partner who is! Thinks it’s the cutest when you’re moving to somehow rest against him, when your legs are over his thighs, holding onto his arm as you walk together etc. Also loves a good morning cuddle when he has the spare time, loves rubbing your waist/tummy, kissing the back of your neck and shoulder :,) makes it so hard for him to leave!
Remainder of members under the cut!
⋆ L. Riwoo
A close second to stealing Jaehyun’s placement. Loves being taken care of, loves taking care of you, Cuddles with you in places that are uncomfortable so much that you’d think it’s his favourite, so if you’re ever sitting by yourself anywhere, expect him to be in your lap/draped over you as soon as he knows. When he’s with you he either does not want to be talked to by anyone else but you or he’s in such a great state of bliss that he’s rather chatty.
⋆ M. Jaehyun
Born cuddly, #1 cuddler. Almost impossible to get him off of you. A lot of the time his clinginess leads to unexpected naps together because once he feels your warmth, catches your scent, he’s knocked out regardless of where the two of you are, moves closer in his sleep to curl further into your body’s warmth. Sweet Myungjae, the type to babble sleepily when he’s just too tired to enunciate his words :( a slur of whines mixing in his incoherent voice as he nuzzles and pushes against you. A literal puppy, always asking for just 5 more minutes.
⋆ H. Taesan
I’d say is the most normal abt cuddling with you, he’s not all over you but he always likes having you within arms reach if he can, holding your hand, hand on your inner thigh, your neck, always feeling for you if you aren’t in his line of sight. He’s generally just very affectionate but it’s never suffocating, sometimes being all over each other can be a little stressful and he respects that, there’s healthy boundaries between the two of you so nothing ever feels out of place or unavoidable.
⋆ K. Leehan
Another casual enjoyer of your cuddles, he loves it but he isn’t loud about loving it. Always moves his arm out of the way of your potential spot every time you come walking over so you can make yourself comfy without any struggle, he kind of just… expects it, so when you choose to sit somewhere else that isn’t beside him he’s a little confused. Like ??? You’re always curling up into him but now you want to sit beside Taesan? Immediate betrayal.
⋆ K. Woonhak
Won’t admit it but he can’t get enough of you being all over him. Will yell and complain “No more!” As he simultaneously helps you adjust into a comfortable position so you can get in a good cuddle. Cuddling is never something he talks about wanting, it just happens naturally, the both of your bodies almost gravitate towards each other. He also enjoys really long hugs, especially when you’re coming to visit him on set while mc’ing, it gives him a second to unwind and collect himself again.
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[from the start] taesan x f!reader | 4.0k words
college au, classmates to lovers, making out, alc consumption ++ terrible drunk decisions lmao, angst kinda, misunderstanding, mutual pining, fear of physical touch at first, everyone is just a little confused
note. sorry this took literally so fucking long to finish, i kept changing my mind on how i wanted it to go. fun fact the original idea for this fic was based on my real life situationship. hope u guys enjoy <3
you shouldn't be here. you should be sleeping off the alcohol flowing through you in your own bed, at your place. you shouldn't be here, pressed against taesan's chest, your mouth molded against his.
up until a few hours ago, han taesan was nothing but a fleeting memory. just someone your friends brought up once in a while to watch the way your cheeks flared up in embarrassment. he was part of the past, an unfortunate moment during your freshman year in university. your friends didn't know about the guilt that ate away at you every time the boy's name crossed your mind.
the two of you had met in english, deskmates who bonded over the frustrations that came with your shitty professor and endless essays. complaining about class turned into hushed whispers while the professor wasn't looking, adding each other on socials and snapping silly pictures back and forth, walking back to the dorms together. because... why not? taesan was cute and you couldn't help but chase the feeling that came with every interaction you two shared.
you never thought it would turn into anything, until your friends pointed out the obvious: he liked you. taesan liked you. the way your hair flowed so prettily, the way you smiled at all of his stupid pictures and the way your eyebrows furrowed at the professors nasally voice.
the two of you had an undeniable connection, and it ended with the two of you sitting on his bed watching a movie together on his roommate, sungho's, tv.
flirty glances and brushing hands turned into his hands running up your arms, breath hot on your neck as you tangled your fingers in his dark hair. having him like this should've felt like heaven, but instead your chest tightened and your body tensed, to the point where taesan pulled away from you, looking into your eyes and softly asking if this was okay, if you were okay.
you should've told him the truth, you were just scared. you hadn't done this before, not with someone who you felt so deeply for. you just wanted to slow down a bit. but instead you faked a smile and just said that you remembered something your friend had asked you to do, ignoring the stab in your chest as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. you pulled away uncomfortably quick and left without another word. that was months ago.
the last you'd heard from him was hours after you left; he'd apologized profusely, saying he'd misread things and you tried and tried to reassure him that he did nothing wrong. you wished he could read your mind so you didn't have to face the fact that you were a coward and you'd hurt him in the process.
taesan thought that night would be the last time he'd see you. he could tell something was wrong, and he'd figured that you'd never want to see him again. but for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to blame you, hate you, nothing.
...
"seriously? you're not mad.... at all?" sungho sat up in his bed, staring at his roommate in disbelief. "dude, she literally led you on and ghosted you." jaehyun chimed in, shaking his head at the younger boy. taesan shrugged and went back to tuning his guitar, covering up the sounds of his friends' scoffs with the vibrations of the strings he plucked. they thought he was hopeless, and secretly, he agreed.
...
after months of radio silence, it was safe to say that taesan was not expecting his phone to ping with a message from you.
you tried to move on from things with the music major, joking away your pain with your friends and going on dates with other guys. it worked for a few months, but eventually thoughts of han taesan caught up to you. they plagued your mind for days on end.
late at night, lying in your bed and staring at the ceiling, you wondered how things could've been different if you'd just told taesan the truth. you thought it was easier to just run away and pretend nothing happened between the two of you, that you'd be at peace if you just went back to before you knew he liked you, before you knew you liked him too. in the end, it just left you feeling empty.
you hadn’t ever met anyone like him, something you hadn’t ever admitted out loud. you couldn't go back to the way things were before, he'd left an imprint on your mind like no one else.
the thoughts you tried to smother finally came up to surface on a breezy saturday night as you were celebrating your friend, yunjin's, 21st birthday party at her apartment. after more than a few shots and the truly you split with yeri, you felt like you were on another planet. you stumbled over to the living room, falling onto the couch and leaning your head back and closing your eyes.
after a few minutes of sitting with your intoxicated state, you lazily unlocked your phone, scrolling through your instagram timeline, attention focusing in and out. that was until you came across a certain set of pictures. you squinted, reading the caption.
tae23san take my tears @psungho @myungj4e
pictured was none other than taesan, sitting on top of a car with his head tilted back to look at the sky.
sitting up slightly, you carefully scrolled through the dump of photos taesan had posted: him posing in the booth of a recording studio, he, sungho, and jaehyun in a photobooth, a candid of him playing the guitar, a mirror selfie with sungho, and a solo shot of him.
the last picture almost took your breath away; he posed with a hand ruffling his own hair as he pouted his lips.
all at once, you felt every emotion you fought so hard to drown explode in your heart. you missed him. so much. your head spun with sadness, guilt, and longing. you wanted to- no, you needed to see him.
it wasn't long before the thoughts popped in your head.
why don't i just text him?
whats the worst that could happen?
it was bad idea, a terrible idea truly. but you couldn't help yourself, you opened your contacts and found your chat with him faster than you could blink. you fumbled with the screen, trying to type out a cohesive message to the boy you so desperately wanted to see.
[1:53 a.m.]
y/n: taesnjsnnnnn
y/n: i miss you
y/n: i'm soryry
y/n: can i swee yuo? please
...
taesan was hoping to have a peaceful smoke with his friends. he, sungho, and jaehyun had spent the day working on a project for their advanced music production class, and were now sitting on the couch passing a blunt around, some rnb songs floating softly through the air.
taesan breathed in slowly, sucking in the laced smoke and exhaling it softly, humming at the warm feeling in his limbs. he felt his phone buzz in his pocket, laughing at the feeling of the vibrations against his thigh.
"this is done for." jaehyun mumbled before flicking off the ash and placing the end on the side table. taesan watched him with hooded eyes as he stood up to stretch out his limbs, making sungho and taesan giggle.
"i'm going to my room." sungho stood as well, murmuring a similar quip before meandering over to his door. "don't forget to turn off the lights, san."
taesan groaned in acknowledgement, letting his head fall back onto the couch. not really wanting to sleep, he wondered if he should watch a movie or make some food.
the boy sighed in boredom, pulling his phone out of his pocket languidly and swiping through his notifications.
his already blown out pupils grew even bigger at the sight of your name in his notifications. he'd never gotten around to deleting your number -- he figured there was no point.
his eyes focused on the words next to your name. 4 unopened messages. he rubbed his eyes slowly.
was he really that high right now? or did you really message him. taesan's gaze jumped over to the timestamp.
10 minutes ago.
he hurriedly clicked the notification, tapping his thigh with his fingers as the screen expanded to display your texts. you were clearly a bit out of it, taesan smiled at your typos. his vision seemed to laser focus on the one text you didn't misspell.
i miss you.
taesan couldn't say he didn't feel the same way. despite sungho and jaehyun's relentless nags, he thought about you more often than he'd like to admit.
somehow, he knew something was up the fateful night the two of you had hung out. that wasn't you, he just knew it. or so he told himself. he didn't want to be mad at you, he didn't want to hate you. he had hoped for this day so many times. the day you'd tell him you didn't mean it.
taesan's fingers moved across the screen slowly.
[2:08 a.m.]
han taesan: hey
han taesan: where are you?
...
from the moment you hit send, you had suddenly been more alert, thoughts racing a million miles a minute.
what do i do if he responds? is he even awake? he just posted, he has to be. god, i hope this works.
you'd taken the leap, there wasn't any going back.
you begrudgingly lifted yourself from the couch you were sitting on, looking for your friends so you could take your mind off of the messages you'd just sent.
walking over to the fridge, you grabbed a water bottle to help you sober up a bit.
eunchae and chaewon did a great job at keeping you from checking your phone every thirty seconds. you laughed at their horrific job at playing pictionary against two guys yunjin knew, anton and sohee.
your two friends were losing bad, and you smiled watching anton and chaewon bicker, anton giggled at chaewon's reddened face. you hoped you'd remember to tease her about it later.
your phone buzzed twice in your pocket and you held your breath as you fished it out and tapped the screen. face to face with taesan's messages, nearly shrieking, you quickly typed a response.
you paused for a second, calculating your next move. you really wanted to see him, praying to god that he was free and willing.
[2:09 a.m.]
y/n: yunjins place. in source complex
taesan: oh
taesan: what room
y/n: 204
taesan: im 3 floors up
taesan: in 511
y/n: can i come up
taesan: yeah of course
while you were definitely a little more sober than 15 minutes ago, you still fought to not squeal into your hand. looking around, you searched for yunjin so you could bid her goodbye.
...
mellow music still floating in the air of the living room, taesan dropped his phone in his lap. he let out a shaky sigh.
whether it was the weed or the fact that he was about to see you after what felt like forever, taesan was suddenly very nervous, wiping his hands on his pants and slowly standing from the couch.
rubbing his arms, he looked around the apartment, unsure of what to do until you got there. he assumed you'd take a bit to leave your friends apartment and make your way up to his. taesan hoped you'd make it okay; he wanted to come get you but was honestly way too fucking high to leave his apartment.
"i guess i'll go brush my teeth or something." the boy mumbled to himself, walking over to the bathroom to fix his hair and make sure he smelled okay.
...
stepping into the elevator, you looked at your reflection as the doors closed, almost forgetting to hit the button for the fifth floor in the midst of smoothing your hair down and fixing your slightly smeared eyeliner with your thumb.
closing your eyes, you lightly rubbed your temples in a sore attempt to bring yourself back to reality, and to emotionally prepare yourself.
you were seeing taesan again, finally.
you hid your blush from literally no one and smiled slightly into your hand as the elevator doors opened.
...
standing in front of the boy's door, the weight of the situation at hand truly hit you.
what exactly did you want from this?
what did you want from him?
if you ended up hurting him again you wouldn't be able to forgive yourself. huffing slightly, you brought a hand up to your neck to fiddle with your necklace and think.
your dazed yet racing thoughts were interrupted by the opening of the front door to taesan's apartment, door swinging back to reveal none other than the music major himself.
"hi" you smiled and spoke quietly.
even though he knew you were coming, the boy somehow still couldn't believe the sight in front of him. it was really you.
you looked as breathtaking as ever in his eyes, your hair a bit shorter than the last time he saw you. taesan caught himself and chuckled slightly, moving out of the way to make room for you.
"come in."
you blushed as you stepped into the apartment awkwardly, not sure what to do with yourself. the alcohol was still making your head spin, eyes adjusting slowly to the sight of taesan's living space. you slipped your shoes off quietly and followed the boy as he walked into the kitchen.
"do you want some water? or snacks? we have chips and fruit, unless sungho ate them all. i think we have some juice too...." taesan's high had clearly not worn off in the slightest, and the boy winced after realizing he rambled on about the contents of his pantry for a full 30 seconds.
you couldn't have cared less, eyes focused on how pretty his hair looked brushed down in his face. making eye contact with him, you noticed the red tint to them, giggling quietly.
"we also have -- are you even listening?" taesan smiled at your starry eyes as you shook your head and laughed.
"god y/n- okay let's just go sit down." he watched you eagerly turn around and nearly skip towards his living room couch, settling right in the middle of the sofa.
the couch cushions were soft as they rubbed slightly against the exposed skin of your legs. shivering slightly, you wished you'd worn a bit more than just a crop top and denim shorts.
your gaze traced the lines of the wood on his coffee table, thoughts lost and scattered. you were just as blown away at the sight of him as he was of you. you recalled the sight of his larger hands shoved in the pockets of his zip up, wondering what it would feel like to have them wrapped around your own.
you wriggled your socked toes to a beat only you could hear, trying to take your mind off of the nervousness flowing through your veins.
"here." you looked up quickly to see taesan standing in front of you, about an arms length away. "i brought you some water."
taesan bit his lip to keep himself from smiling at the sight of you on the sofa. he looked around awkwardly for a second, not sure where to sit -- you were in the middle of the couch and choosing either side of the sofa would leave him sitting directly next to you.
"why are you still standing? come sit." you tilted your head at him and patted the spot to your right softly, smiling up at the nervous boy.
sighing out in relief, taesan plopped down next to you and settled into the corner of the sofa. you turned slightly so you could face him as he spoke, glass of water abandoned on the coffee table.
"do you wanna watch a movie?" he asked.
"is it okay to turn on the tv this late?" you shyly responded
taesan's ears turned slightly red in embarrassment. he 100% forgot about his two other roommates sleeping soundly in their own rooms.
while they probably wouldn't mind the noise, taesan didn't want to have to explain why you of all people were in their living room at this very moment.
"if you're okay with it, we can watch something in my room, i can play it on my laptop." taesan spoke.
your cheeks burned slightly at the idea of seeing the boy's room but you hummed in agreement, standing up quickly. the sudden movement caused you to stumble a bit. taesan stood up after you, wrapping a hand around your arm in an attempt to steady you.
"are you okay?" he turned you to face him fully, hands resting lightly on your shoulders as he looked at you worriedly.
your breath hitched at the mere inches of space between the two of you. taesan's gaze left you speechless, and your eyes searched his face before landing on his lips.
for every minute that had passed since you sent that first fateful text message, the anticipation had been eating you alive. deciding you couldn't take it anymore, you pulled yourself up by the collar of the boy's hoodie and pressed your lips against his.
his mouth was plush and unmoving against yours and you let yourself close your eyes and savor the feeling for a moment before lowering yourself back onto your heels.
opening your eyes, you mentally geared yourself for the awkward conversation you feared was about to ensue. taesan, on the other hand, barely gave you a moment to breathe, chasing your lips the second they detached from his. slipping a hand behind your neck, he tilted his face down and sealed his lips over yours once again.
taesan's mind raced as he bit your bottom lip, wondering what this was going to lead to and if he'd regret it. he decided he couldn't care less when he felt you tilt your head to the side and push your tongue in his mouth.
you craned your face upward and grabbed the sides of his sweatshirt tightly, like he might disappear if you let go of him. you needed more of him.
you broke your lips from his for a split second to ask where his room was. taesan mumbled something you couldn't hear before pulling you by your shoulders. the boy's mouth didn't leave yours for a second, only pulling away to push his door open.
you opened your eyes slowly, looking up to meet the taller boy's hooded gaze. you turned around and took in the sight in front of you. taesan's bed was in the corner of the room, posters hung above a small desk. you smiled at the tangles of wires on the floor, leading to a small speaker system and bass guitar.
"gonna go turn off the lights and check the door." taesan's voice rasped. you hummed in acknowledgement and stepped forward into the room slowly.
you walked over and climbed onto the boy's bed, bringing your legs up so you could hug your knees. staring at your socked feet, your mind was completely blank. when taesan came back you were absentmindedly fixing your hair and shirt, not even noticing the boy's return.
"are you okay?" taesan asked softly.
you looked up to see his eyes on you, smiling at the way hands were politely tucked behind his back. he was nervous, hoping he didn't overstep or make you uncomfortable. taesan didn't think he could handle watching you run out his door a second time.
"okay?" you tilted your head in confusion.
"with this... being here with me." your heart panged with sadness, feeling so guilty for how you made him feel before. you wanted to make it up to him.
"i am. i want this. i promise, taesan." you watched taesan slowly process your words though his wavering high, smile forming on his face. his hands came up to push your legs down, and you scooted towards him, giggling and wrapping your legs are his standing figure.
taesan had abandoned his hoodie in the living room, now in a loose t-shirt. your hands scrunched the fabric of the graphic tee as you pulled the boy towards you again. taesan complied without a word, bending down to meet your awaiting lips. you moved your lips against his languidly, savoring each swipe of his tongue against yours.
taesan pushed your body backwards so he could climb on the bed with you. you scooted back until you were pressed against the headboard, only staying there for a second before taesan pulled you onto his lap.
his lips went to your neck, pressing soft kisses and grazing his teeth against the sensitive skin. with each kiss, bite, and swipe of his tongue against you, taesan could feel you practically melting into his lap. eyes screwed shut, your head leaned back to further expose your neck and your fingers tugged at the boy's hair.
you slightly pulled taesan's face away from you, bringing your hands to gingerly cup his face. his eyes were slightly glossed over as you placed a wet kiss on his lips.
the last traces of your sobriety were thrown out the window, both of you drunk off each other. taesan thought you looked like an angel, bringing a hand up to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear. your eyes formed crescents as you smiled at the boy, and he swore he almost stopped breathing.
your hand came up to rest over his that was still cupping your face, intertwining your fingers. bringing them closer to your face, you opened taesan's and placed a featherlight kiss in the center of his palm.
"what was that for?" taesan mumbled in between giggles as he watched you continue to play with his fingers.
"thank you." your voice wavered slightly, eyes looking up to meet his nervously. you laughed at the puzzled look on his face before continuing.
"for giving me a second chance and letting me come over." you sighed shakily under taesan's gaze. "i missed you, a lot."
"probably not as much as i missed you." taesan replied softly, squeezing your hands and tilting your chin up to meet your wide eyes.
the moment that passed between the two of you was long and drawn out, you savored the feeling of weight being lifted off your chest. trapped in his eyes and tucked in his arms, you couldn't fathom missing the chance to have han taesan like this.
as the thick silence dissolved and taesan's aching lips found yours again, the two of you knew staying away from each other was ill-fated from the start.
[bonus — 10:54 AM]
blinking the sleep from your eyes, you lazily searched taesan's fridge for a water bottle. as you shut the door, a loud crash abruptly pulled you out of your sleepy daze. coming face to face with myung jaehyun, you let out a yelp of surprise.
"no fucking way." he spoke. a bowl of dry cereal lay at his feet, contents now strewn across the kitchen tiles.
ears turning red, you realized how insane you must look: your hair was untied and messily brushed down and you were wearing nothing but an old tshirt and some boxers taesan had given you.
"what happe- oh god." taesan said from behind jaehyun, having rushed over to the kitchen to check on you. it was safe to say the last thing he expected was to see you and his roommate staring open mouthed at each other. flustered, taesan opened his mouth to explain, but jaehyun interrupted him with a loud sigh.
"fuck you tae, now i owe woonhak 20 bucks."
...
taglist: @iweirdthingsblog @yjwkisser @sulkygyu @enhyven
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taesan soft thoughts?? indeed!
taesan loves music and taking videos, so why not spend a day in the big city with him! roaming snack shops, album stores, go window shopping, hang out at skate parks, or do anything at all while taesan records every second of it on his camera bc he thinks ur the cutest person ever
CATCH MY HEARTS ON CAMERA
there was once a saying that a picture is worth a thousand words. taesan wants to capture everything about you in the case that words are a little hard to form. that's how in love with you he is.
PAIRING han taesan x fem!reader
WC 3.2k
TAGS fluff. taesan is literally in love goodnight. cussing.
OMI NOTE i know this isn't exactly a drabble.. but as soon as i read that i thought of this and literally could not resist. i got a little carried away ngl LMAO but anything for you pearl.
there was once a saying that a picture is worth a thousand words. for this exact reason, taesan invested in a photo camera. it was second hand, but the quality wasn’t terrible. something about lower quality pictures felt more real to him, because not everything could be perfect.
what he wanted to do with the camera was all apart of his master plan, however. the amount of love he had in his heart for you extended great height. because of this, part of him needed something sincere to confess to you. and what was more lovely than a video diary
so hence started the project where he took you on a friend date once a week for four weeks. the word ‘friend’ was something he hated, as it made him feel crazy. there was a possibility you didn’t reciprocate, which is why he had to try everything.
when he brought up the idea (excluding the fact that he considered it a date), you were immediately on board. you always enjoyed being around taesan, so you paid no mind as to why.
“i think that’s a really sweet idea taesan, we haven’t been able to properly hang out since i came back to korea. you’re just so popular” you told him happily.
“yeah it would be nice to spend some time together. i could maybe pick you up tomorrow?” his voice hints nervousness, but you don’t catch it.
“great! do you already have a plan for tomorrow?”
“i can’t tell you, otherwise that ruins the surprise.” he smiles at you fondly.
with that, taesan stepped right onto planning. there were a multitude of places he was thinking about taking you. but at the end of the day, as long as you were together he would be okay.
friend date one: street food markets and a happy girl.
sometimes, food is the way to someones heart. and a little someone might’ve been dying to go to a food market during night - time to try all the best snacks in town. as soon as you brought it up some time ago, he could already envision the brightest grin pulled together on your lips.
hundreds of luminous lanterns shone throughout the alleyway. there were many banners sprawled out everywhere, advertising the different kinds of foods and merchandise you could purchase. not only that, the smell of meat and vegetables wafting through the air was heavenly.
as soon as you arrived at the location, taesan lead you carefully, making sure to cover your eyes. though you were sure when you heard the sizzling of food on a grill you knew exactly where you were. the touch of his skin on your eyes got hotter and hotter.
once he uncovers your face, your vision takes a second to adjust before you see the pretty vendors lining down the street. your jaw drops and you turn your heels to look at the boy behind you.
“oh my gosh taesannie no you didn’t!” you squeal like a little girl, jumping up and down, “i’ve wanted to come here for such a long time, but nobody ever wants to come with me!”
“i know haha that’s why i wanted to bring you–” you cut him off with a tight hug, his heart beat quickening.
“thank you thank you! i swear i’ve been craving street food forever since i moved back here.”
when you pulled away, he almost had to chase after you as you ran down to see all the action. all of your senses being immediately heightened, stars behind your eyes. taesan knew this was a perfect moment, so he took his camera to record your rush.
“look they have gamja hot dogs!”
you ran up to one of the stands to order as taesan followed behind you. while you waited patiently for it to be prepared, you rocked on your feet eagerly. through the lens you looked cute, but it was incomparable to seeing it in person.
“here, pay with this.” he grabbed money from his pocket with his free hand, giving it to you.
“are you sure taesannie– i just got promoted i can pay.” you try to hand it to him but he pushes it back to you.
“it’s not that expensive, don’t worry about it.” he insists.
“ahh okay fine. but next time we hang out i’ll pay!” you tilt your head and smile, shifting your attention to the crisp batter surrounding a mozzarella hot dog.
taking a bite, you immediately melt, chewing quickly so you could tell taesan how good it is.
“you have to try this it’s so good!” you put the treat up to his lips and he takes a bite, blushing at the thought of an indirect kiss. but you were right, it was really yummy.
“auhh, this is very good! you can get another if you’d like.”
“then how will i have room for other stuff silly? let’s go look at all the other things!” you grab his hand to lead him around.
he places his camera back in his pocket, happy with the footage he got of your excited demeanor. the night would be long and your bellies would be full, and it was all worth it.
friend date two: let’s go skate!
the sound of wheels against pavement filled your ears, as you and taesan sprawled out on a grass patch nearby. there was a classic checkered blanket underneath the two of you with a basket of fruits and crackers.
“have you ever tried skating, y/n?” taesan asked as he handed you a napkin with a couple grapes in it.
“it’s too scary, i’d rather have my feet safely on the floor.” you tell him while snacking on the green fruit.
“i think it would be fun to try, i can help you. i brought my skateboard for a reason.”
“hold up– that’s basically me asking to die! you look a lot cooler when you’re doing it.”
it sounded a little silly, but you were scared of skateboarding. professionals always made it look so cool, but it made you nervous. though after seeing taesan do a shoot at a skatepark, you thought it would be a nice recommendation to hang out there one day. but him actually remembering wasn’t something you expected. let alone have you try skateboarding.
taesan reddened with embarrassment at your compliment, shrugging it off, “just let me push you once, yeah? i can get some photos of you for your instagram.”
“that is a tad bit more convincing… you’ll hold me still, yeah?” you sit up from your spot, wiping any grass that might’ve gotten on your outfit.
“for sure, let’s go?” he holds a hand out to lead you down the little hill and towards the many skaters.
you walked along with him, nearing closer and feeling more edgy. why exactly were you doing this? there was a possibility you just liked him that much, but you would never tell him that.
“taesannie i swear i have never touched a skateboard in my life, what if i eat shit and totally embarass myself?” you held the board he gave you in your shaky hands, fingers scratching against the dark grip tape.
“you won’t fall, y/n, i said i would be holding on to you.”
the idea of holding you as you stumble around on a skateboard was cute in his mind. he would help you get over your small fear, and take a few shots of you rolling around (with your arms swinging around like a weirdo, but his weirdo).
“okay okay.. but if you let me fall, zico will be hearing from me.” you sigh in defeat, placing the board down on the smooth pavement.
“i promise, just step on the board and ill push you.” he gripped your arm in his hand while you stepped on the board.
“wait wait wait– don’t push me yet i’m scared.”
“don’t be scared okay? i’m right here i won’t let you get hurt.” taesan couldn’t help grinning at your clumsiness.
once you gave him the nod of approval, he let go of you and pushed. at first, you waved your arms arround to try to stablize yourself, but you got the hang of it.
“i’m doing it!” you exclaim while rolling off into the distance.
taesan zooms in on you rolling away while you shoot a thumbs up towards the camera. seeing you flailing around was sweet, but seeing you happy at your success was a lot more delightful.
friend date three: superache was lovely, but you’re lovelier.
just down the street, a very aesthetically pleasing album store opened up. if taesan wasn’t so caught up with work, he would’ve gone to the grand opening with riwoo. despite this he was quite relieved to learn you also were planning on going soon, so this was perfect.
both of you dressed comfy in matching hoodies (per your request) and walked a short distance to arrive there.
“i hope they have the conan gray cd i want. sunset season has been at the top of my shopping list, but the other stores near us are always sold out.” the bell rang at the top of the door when you guys walked in, signaling a greeting from the employees working.
“i enjoyed superache, i might get the vinyl for it actually.” taesan thought out loud.
“superache was really good too, what was your favorite song off of it?” you question, holding an imaginary mic up to his face.
“uhh probably memories? i listened to it a lot during weverse con.”
“oh i remember when you posted it! that makes sense i forgot.” you said, going towards the cd’s.
“you have my notifications on for weverse?” he asked sheepishly.
“why wouldn’t i? it’s like i get two times the texts from you.” you smile at him.
“that’s cute.” he spoke quietly that you could barely hear him.
the two of you scrolled mindlessly throughout the shop, flipping through the letter tabs to find the artist you liked. taesan made sure to mentally note which artists you looked at for longer, or which genre you browsed in for the longest.
inside the shop, there were fake vines running across the walls and tons of posters littered about. it was awfully cozy, and though the dimmed lights made it harder for his camera to focus, you would look good even if you were blurry.
“taesannie! look i found the sunset season cd!” you bounced delightedly, holding up the jewel case in front of him.
he captured the joyful expression on your face, your lips pulling into a teethy smile that made him feel warm. when you noticed the camera you made multiple poses holding the cd. watching your every movement as you switched between peace signs and half hearts.
the last date was nearing closer, it made his heart ache anxiously.
friend date four: this is our chapter, right?
after your friend date today, he would go home to make a compilation of all the memories you made in these few weeks. this was probably the most extroverted thing an introvert could do, but in a way, it made the most sense to him.
he would show it to you the next day, hoping to be able to call you his girlfriend very soon. for now, it was best to swallow down the stress and make today worth it.
earlier in the morning, he texted you to meet up at a library just to hang out. there was a cute cafe there in case you felt hungry, and your favorite selection of books piled atop numerous shelves.
taesan arrived earlier than you in order to pick out the best spot to sit together, out of view from too many passerbys. while it sounded oddly suspicious he just wanted time alone with you, he always did. and you trusted him.
“taee sannn?” you whisper yelled, walking at a fast pace with your head bopping around. he raised his hand up and you saw him sitting against a bookshelf.
“hey you found me.” he perked up quietly as you sat down next to him on the floor.
“yeah i basically had to parade around the whole library to find you, stupid. big tall mountain yet i was unable to point you out from all these people; who may i add, are not six fucking foot.” you tease, scooting in to him until your shoulders barely touched.
“well you found me now, that’s what matters, right?”
“i guess so. what are you reading?” taking the corner of his book in between your fingers, you slightly pull it in your direction.
“i’m not sure, i kinda just picked something up while i was waiting. it’s pretty good so far though.” he moves his head up, feeling the closeness of your guys’ faces. you were still looking, analyzing the pages.
“it smells old.”
“what?” he laughed, “you don’t like the smell of books?”
“it’s not that, it just reminds me that i haven’t been in a library in such a long time. reading makes me tired.” you yawn.
“don’t fall asleep on me now, here, i’ll go a few pages back and we can read together okay? just tap my arm when you want me to turn the page.” he told you while you just hummed in reply.
together, you read in silence for awhile. the pads of your fingers gently pressing into taesan’s arm whenever you were ready to move onto the next page. over time, your taps got lighter and lighter, until you didn’t tap at all.
your head fell into his shoulder, making him flinch slightly at the sudden contact. when he glanced back over to you, your eyes were shut.
taesan freezes, unsure of what to do. does he wake you? he doesn’t dare to move a single muscle, ultimately deciding to let you rest. his mind and heart is racing because while you were always close with him, it was different when he had a crush on you.
he took his arm to wrap around your body, pulling you closer towards him. you nuzzled into him comfortably, unbeknownst to you exactly what you were doing. he pulled his camera to snap a very charming photo of you all sleepy. something about you looked very silly, so he was excited to show you and tease you about it.
right. he had a whole compilation of things he wanted to show you.
“you have no idea how much i like you, y/n.” he murmurs softly.
friend dates are out, confessions are in: i think really really love you.
taesan stayed up all night clipping together photos and videos of you. every scene of you, every detail, he studied over and over just reminiscing of all the moments you got to spend together. he was so fucking scared you wouldn’t reciprocate his feelings.
normally he was calm, putting up this kind of chill persona. but genuinely he was terrified. any of the other members that he talked to about the whole situation told him that you definitely returned his feelings, but he could never be too sure. leehan was on top of telling him that he’d be fine.
but there he was, anxiously waiting for you to knock on his door. his laptop lay in front of him on the coffee table, tabbed out of the video so you don’t see it right away. time couldn’t pass any slower.
however he swore his heart rate picked up even more when you did knock. he quickly pulled out his phone to make sure he was looking okay. his outfit was nothing fancy, just some sweatpants and a shirt, but he still wanted to be presentable for you. the best way to get you over to his house was a movie night, so comfy attire was a must.
“hi taesan!” you greeted him as he opened the door to let you in.
“hey, are you ready for a movie night?” he fidgeted with the jawstrings on his sweats, going to sit over on the couch with you behind him.
“yes i’m excited! i get big blanket though you stole it last time.”
“yeah of course, but um– i wanted to show you something first.” he stuttered out.
“sure, what’s up?” you were worried from taesan’s sudden demeanor change. he took his laptop from the table and switched to a tab, placing it in your lap.
“hit play.”
once you did so, you were met with a melodic sound in the background. it was a tune you were familiar with, but you never knew where it was from. taesan would hum it all the time, and you realized once the first verse started that it was his voice.
‘hi, y/n. these were my favorite moments with you for the past week.’ read the captions below.
photos and videos of your past few weeks together played on the screen in order. you waiting excitedly for your gamja hot dog, you rolling away on taesans skateboard.
‘you might be wondering why i put all of this together, and sometime throughout this i wondered if it was stupid.’
the multiple photos of you posing with your favorite conan gray cd, and lastly a photo of you sleeping soundly against taesan’s shoulder.
‘but i think it was perfect for me to capture every single moment that made me fall in love with you.’
the expression on your face was blank, you blinked back, still a bit confused. more photos played throughout the video, selfies of you and taesan over the past couple years.
‘i really really love you, y/n.’
as the video came to an end and the screen went black, you looked over at taesan with tears welling in your eyes. you moved the laptop next to you and leaned over to embrace him in a hug.
“taesannie… why didn’t you tell me sooner?” you sniffed while he returned your hug.
“i just didn’t know how. you deserve nothing less than perfection y/n…” he paused, “and i mean it. i really am in love with you, i always have been.”
“i love you too, taesan.”
in that moment, every single worry and doubt he’s ever had washed away as you placed your lips on his. it was like a reward for the constant longing he had for you. part of it still felt like a dream, but you’ve always been absolutely unreal in his eyes.
“is that what all of those dates were for? to hypnotize me into falling in love with you?” you giggled pulling away.
“i mean it wasn’t my intention, but if it happened, it happened.”
“shut up, this was totally something leehan would do! he helped you didn’t he?” you furrow your eyebrows while poking his cheek in an attempt to get answers out of him.
“you don’t give me enough credit, this was my idea i promise. he’s just the one that kept me sane during all of it.”
“even if you were insane i wouldn’t mind visiting my lovely boyfriend in the mental hospital.” you place another slow kiss on his lips.
“that sounds nice, girlfriend.”
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genre fluff established relationship , pair han dongmin x gn!reader wc. 0.3k words ( boynextdoor ) warnings not proofread , hugs ? kisses? lots of it. ✿ ׅ ࣪ ⊹ 💌
author's note cuddling with dongmin 🫡 taesan has such soft, plumped lips im going feral 😽 ( me next tae) !!! dts @woon2u
dongmin's lips are warm and soft on your skin, face hidden in the crook of your neck. he won't admit it but this is everything he's ever wanted.
bare legs entwined, blanket long gone, kisses being shared. sometimes the need for your warmth becomes unbearable, and usually, he goes for it, pulls you closer out of nowhere, arms locking around your body, securing you. dongmin thinks it secures him as well.
your eyes are unwavering on the boy beside you, one hand combing through his hair as the other is tucked underneath his neck. you hum to the song playing faintly on the radio, drumming your fingertips against his hair.
his kisses trail from your jawline to your shoulder. he nips at your skin, not too hard to leave marks but enough for you to feel his teeth.
but after each nip, he gives a kiss. his lips, warm, soft, and gentle. his hands find their way to your exposed skin, your stomach is already being used as a drawing pad. a star, a heart, a dog.
dongmin pauses, for a moment. his finger's ghosting over your bare stomach. you watch quietly as dongmin brings his index finger down to your stomach once again.
i.... love......you.
he doesn't wait for your response. dongmin already loses himself at the mere thought of you.
his kisses slowly become lazy and wet, and longer, on your lips and nose, and your cheeks and a bit on your neck, your jawline (his lips ghost over there for a while); he kisses the knuckles on your fingers before placing a tender, kiss on your forehead.
he fixes his position on the bed, before laying his head down right next to yours, eyes closing. you can now see his face properly and, you think he doesn't notice when you lift yourself up for a moment to place a kiss on his cheek, you also think he doesn't know that you've noticed the smile that draws itself onto his face.
he doesn't need to know anyway.
© dogsd2y on tumblr.
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Surprising Him With Breakfast ~ Lee Dongmin
Your eyes looked up as Dongmin rushed around your bedroom, murmuring to himself about the things that he needed to do. He had overslept his alarm completely, and with his first day on a new show pending, things didn’t seem like they could get much worse for him.
As you watched him stumble into the bathroom, you knew that you couldn’t lay back and do nothing. Once the door shut, you got out of your bed, grabbing your phone from your bedside table and heading for the kitchen.
After searching up recipes online, looking for ones that would be guaranteed to give someone energy, you began getting utensils and equipment around the kitchen together to start cooking what you had found to make sure that Dongmin ate properly before heading to work.
You knew that he’d have no time for breakfast as he rushed around for work, deciding to take one thing off of his list of things to do and do it for yourself.
Dongmin was oblivious as he tided himself up upstairs, getting dressed and fixing his hair so that he could try and look presentable and not as if he had just rolled out of bed when he showed up to the building that the production for the drama was in.
It was only as he reached the top of the stairs to head back down that Dongmin began to get a hint of something up his nose. Intrigue got the better of him as he grabbed his bag from the bedroom before heading down to see what was going on.
His eyes lit up as Dongmin looked through to the kitchen, noticing your figure moving around the room through the crack in the door. He couldn’t have got there quick enough, smiling widely as he watched you cook over the oven.
“What’s going on here?”
“H-hey,” you stuttered, the sound of Dongmin’s voice making you jump as you looked around to see him opening up the door and leaning in the frame of it. “I thought you were still in the shower, when did you get out and dressed?”
You failed to get a response from Dongmin as his eyes looked around, noticing a plate and chopsticks set up on the dining table for two, eyes scanning further around the room to see several side dishes laid over the counter.
Some were full, some were empty, but all of them looked as if they were going to be delicious to Dongmin. As he walked further in, Dongmin noticed your phone lit up just beside you with a recipe on your screen that you kept checking.
“You made breakfast for us?” Dongmin smiled in surprise, wrapping his arm around your waist as soon as he was close enough for you, resting on your shoulder to see what you were cooking in the pan. “What made you do this?” He quizzed, pressing a kiss of excitement against your cheek as he watched you.
“You were in a rush,” you simply smiled in reply.
As Dongmin realised you had decided to take on breakfast in order to make life easier for him, his heart raced. He knew that it was something nice for you to do anyway, but especially so as he rushed around to get sorted after leaving everything last minute.
“You were a little flustered upstairs so I thought I’d come down and give you one less thing to worry about,” you added, “I should have everything done in ten minutes, so you’ll have enough time to eat before you have to go to work.”
“Thank you,” Dongmin whispered as he stepped back to give you some space, “I can’t even begin to tell you how much I needed something like this to be done for me this morning.”
To say he was touched would be an understatement, but you didn’t mind cooking for him at all. Your help was always offered to Dongmin, and as he overslept his alarm, you knew that it would be a good chance for you to do something nice for him.
“I’ve not seen you smile like that in a while,” you told him as you watched Dongmin take a seat at the dining table. “I hope you’re hungry, I’ve made plenty to get you through a long day of script readthroughs and dress rehearsals today.”
“I’m smiling because I’m happy,” Dongmin grinned back across to you, “I was in the shower thinking about how maybe I’d have to skip breakfast because I wouldn’t have time to cook, and then I come down and you do this for me.”
Your shoulders shrugged as you placed a couple of the side dishes now, “I always told you I’d cook for you one day, and it seems that today’s the day.”
As soon as the dishes touched the table, Dongmin picked up his chopsticks and began to dig in. The smells were delicious, a lot better than even you expected when you started some of the recipes, filling him up just as you had hoped they would.
“This is great,” Dongmin hummed between many mouthfuls.
Once everything was cooked, you sat down at the table and joined him, picking up what was left from many of the dishes. Dongmin had tried his best to finish many of them, eating up as quickly as he could, not only because he found the food so tasty, but also to get done quicker to be able to make up more of the time that he had missed.
“How was it?” You quizzed as Dongmin declared himself finished with a heavy smile, tapping his hands against his tummy which was most definitely full. His bright eyes looked to you as he spoke, letting you know exactly what he thought of things.
Having you cook for him was overwhelming enough for Dongmin, but having you cook so well, caring so much about making sure that he ate good food that would get him through the day was something else, which meant the world to him.
He felt pretty bad as he stood up, looking around at the mess that was in the kitchen, knowing that he simply didn’t have the time to be able to tidy any of it up.
“I promise that I will do something as incredible as this for you soon,” he told you as he walked around the table to press a kiss to the top of your head.
Your head shook in response to him, “you don’t have to do anything for me, I only cooked you breakfast, it’s not really a big deal anyway.”
“It is,” Dongmin instantly corrected you, stopping as he began to walk away from you. “I was in a mess this morning, but you doing this has just made life so much easier for me. If it wasn’t for you, breakfast wouldn’t have even been on my mind this morning, but it was, because you care.”
You cared more for Dongmin then many others realised, but those little gestures that went unnoticed by so many others were always picked up on by Dongmin when he was with you.
“I’m just glad that I could lift some of the weight that you were carrying around on your shoulders this morning,” you told him, standing up from your chair and following him towards the front door as he grabbed his shoes. “At least now I don’t have to worry about you at work because I know you’ve got a good breakfast in you.”
Dongmin flashed a smile back to you as he slid his shoes on, “I really can’t tell you enough how much I appreciate what you did this morning for me Y/N.”
“It’s alright, just use all that energy up on being amazing at work.”
“I promise that I will.”
---
Masterlist
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fake a kiss and heal a heart 𐀔 han dongmin
pairing — boynextdoor, han dongmin x female reader
genre — fake dating ! au, student ! au, written serie, after break-up situation, angst, fluff
synopsis — if dongmin had known that having his heart broken hurt so much, he would never have fallen in love in the first place. but you managed to fix everything in his bruised heart.
warnings — post break-up, alcool consumption, kissing, angst, sadness, partying, crying, reader is bold, i will mention it at the beginning of each chapter
featuring — apparition of other boynextdoor members
word count — approximately 30-35k or more (currently 15,326)
playlist — makeout with a stranger, bleed, talking body, fast times, into you, cheap wine, crying in the club, treat you better, everytime we touch, love me like you do, the glass, more to be added..
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ୨ ✩ ୧
chapter one. : a broken heart & an unexpected gesture
chapter two. : false emergency & another drink
chapter three. : rain against the window & that thing again
chapter four. : starry freckles on his cheeks & methylene blue stockings
chapter five. : a ridiculous idea & a wasted night
chapter six. : a tune-up & the endlessly spinning vinyl
chapter seven. : wet blue sneakers & the sun through the curtains
to be added..
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ୨ ✩ ୧
taglist — send an ask or comment just below to be added ! @leehanist @hikarii02 @lsmble @wtfhyuck @kjwnsz @en-dream @trashcigs @sulkygyu @florainnie @dazzlingligth @yuma-is-mine @mewhenwonbin @i1oze @snowflakemoon3 @hittoki @lilriswife4life
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𝒊'𝒎 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒄𝒓𝒂𝒛𝒚 - taesan (part 1??)
taesan x fem!reader admin: 🪱
✦ word count: 1.8k
✦ genre: fluff, non-established relationship, minor swearing
✦ summary: taesan x fem!reader, he's been in love with y/n for quite some time, and the story leads up to a confession by him. like for a part 2??
✦ note: this is my first official fic, i tried my best
A warm spring breeze tickles strands of hair against your cheek as you rest your chin on your hand, gently swinging your feet as you wait. You admire the scenery before you, lush green trees adorned with bushes of blooming red roses when something cold and a little bit wet is pressed against your cheek. You flinch, turning around to see your best friend Taesan grinning from ear to ear as he holds two plastic cups in his hands.
"You're unbelievable," you scoff, snatching the cup from his hand and taking a long sip from the paper straw, eyeing him scornfully. Almost immediately your nose scrunches up at the bitter taste earning a soft laugh from Taesan.
"You goofball, that drink is mine," he says, reaching out to ruffle your hair and take the cup back from your hands, lightly brushing his fingers against yours. He passes you the second cup and taps on the lid. "Iced cappuccino, your favourite, you're welcome."
"Thank you," you smile, tossing him an exaggerated eyeroll as you allow your eyes to wander past him towards a strip of stalls selling vintage clothes.
Taesan's eyes rest on your face and he cups his chin in his hand, admiring the way your eyes sparkled in the spring sunshine and the sprinkle of barely noticeable freckles that dot your cheeks because you were always forgetting to put on sunscreen. He watches how you tilt your head slightly to the right when you're curious about something and how you seem to enjoy the way your bangs fall across your face, tickling the bottom of your chin. On instinct, Taesan reaches out and pushes your bangs behind your ear, not realizing what he'd done until he was making eye contact with you, his fingers resting lightly on your earlobe and your faces hovering just a few inches apart.
"Oh," he stuttered, visibly gulping as he quickly sat back down across from you. "I didn't mean to do that, it just sort of came over me-"
You let out a giggle, smiling adorably at his flustered self. "Bro Taesan, how do you not have a girlfriend yet, when you're already treating your best friend like this?"
Taesan stared back, his face unreadable. When he's silent for a few more seconds you give him a light kick from underneath the table. "Who's stuck on your mind that you can't even answer me?"
'You,' Taesan thought, holding in a sigh as he eyes your innocent and ultimately clueless expression. He gives his head a little shake and shrugs. "Nobody," he finally answers. "I don't need a girlfriend."
You raise an eyebrow at him, not buying the lie. But just for Taesan's sake, you play along, offering a light smile. "Well, if you're ever interested in dating, I've got a lot of friends you can meet." Almost as if the universe was on your side, your phone suddenly rings and you glance down. "Speaking of which, a girl I know who is very interested in you is calling," you wiggle the phone in front of his face before jumping up. "Wait here, I'll be right back."
As soon as you disappear around the corner Taesan slumps onto the table, burying his head into his arms as he groans in frustration. "Damnit," he mutters. "The only person I'm interested in dating is you, y/n." He pokes his head up enough so that only his eyes are visible as he watches the corner of where you disappeared around. "Will you ever look at me in a different way?" He sighs, presses his fingers against his eyes for a moment.
Ever since the two of you were in middle school, when Taesan was still a new student, you'd both immediately clicked and became almost inseparable throughout the past five years. You did practically everything together, from nighttime walks, to summer picnics, to accompanying each other in almost every physically strenuous activity because neither of you wanted to suffer alone. Of course you both had other friends to hang out with, but at the end of the day, you considered eachother as your go-tos. Need to run a stupid errand but don't want to do it alone? Need someone to talk to about shit while it's past 12am in the morning? It was always Taesan for you and you for Taesan.
It wasn't long before you were well into highschool that Taesan started developing feelings for you. You were one of the first people that provided him a space to be vulnerable and he adored your random bursts of energy that was always followed by complete exhaustion where half the time you would pass out on his shoulder the moment you sat down after a long day. In all honesty, many peers at school would think the pair to be dating already, had you done any romantic acts towards each other.
Though it was plain as day that you did not reciprocate Taesan's feelings at all, it was his only wish that he could get over you... soon. He tried everything, he tried avoidance (failed within 24 hours), he tried being more romantically social, he even tried listing out all your cons (he felt extremely shitty about it afterwards). But everytime he saw you, he felt like he was falling in love with you all over again so he resorted to the only other thing that he held dear to his heart. Songwriting.
He'd written countless songs upon songs about you. It was all saved into a folder that he opens now, pondering for the nth time whether he wanted you to hear them or not. As he absentmindedly scrolls through his song files, he doesn't notice that you've snuck up behind him.
"Guess who," you singsong, covering his eyes with your hands as he flinches in surprise, flipping his phone around as fast as he can. Curious, you remove your hands and bring your face right next to his, peering down at his phone. "What are you hiding?"
He moves back, flustered by how close you were and tries his best to look nonchalant. "Nothing, it's nothing, it's nobody."
"Okay, well if you have-" Taesan jumps up, cutting you off mid-sentence as he gently tugs on your wrist.
"C'mon let's go on a walk, it's nice today."
Still suspicious, you allow him to drag you along by the wrist, unaware of how fast his heart was beating at the contact. He drops your wrist almost as fast as when he grabbed it, and you wince, missing the feel of his cool hand. Wait wtf were you thinking? You blink twice to yourself in surprise and shake the thoughts away, ashamed. This is your best friend for Christ's sake.
"I was thinking," you link your arm through Taesan's and look up at him with a bright smile. "You should really meet my friend." he immediately opens his mouth in a protest but you interrupt him. "I'm serious dude, she's super sweet and kind, totally shares a similar music taste with you too."
He doesn't say anything, just silently looks straight ahead. You take it as a sign that he's thinking about it and continue, prodding his side with your elbow. "Besides, it's due time you get a girlfriend, who's gonna keep you company?"
"You," he replies simply.
You blink slowly, taken aback by his fast reply.
He peers down at you, those familiar eyes crinkling slightly at the corner as he smiles. "What's wrong? Haven't we always been doing everything together? Why does it have to change now?"
"I'm talking about your future Taesan," you roll your eyes. "You can't be with me forever."
"Why?" he stops abruptly and you jerk backwards into him, arms still linked. He spins you to face him, hands placed on either side of your arms to keep you in place.
"Taesan what are you doing," you mumble looking down at the base of his neck. Your eyes widen as you watch his adam's apple suck in a gulp, and your gaze flicks up to meet his eyes.
"Why can't I be with you forever?" he asks.
You open your mouth to reply but your words are caught in your throat as you stare into his dark eyes that seem to hold you in place. You swallow and your eyes flick across his face, looking for a part of him that'll give away this whole prank. Instead your gaze drags along the soft curve of his nose, to the wisps of black hair that almost reach his eyes, to his sharp rosy pink lips that capture your full attention.
"Y/n?" Taesan's voice snaps your eyes back to his and he clears his throat awkwardly. "Are you alright?"
"I, uh, yes. I'm fine, all good," you blubber. You look away and take a deep breath before meeting his eyes again. "Was that supposed to be a confession?" He blinks, surprised by your question. "It's just, I can't really tell if you were being serious or... uhm, joking around."
"Y/n..." Taesan laughs softly, his eyes crinkling slightly at the corners when he smiles shyly at you. "I... was being serious. I meant every word that I said."
"Oh," you say, stunned. "You know, I just didn't really expect that because forever is like, a really really long time and I've never-"
"Okay enough," He interrupts you, gently cupping both hands on either side of your face. "I like you so much y/n. So much so that I don't even want to think about the concept of time, I just want to be by your side with every passing day. I don't need anybody else. Just you. The only time I ever feel alive is when I'm with you. You make me want to smile and laugh until my cheeks are sore and aching. I'm serious."
You feel a smile start to grow, and you don't bother trying to tamp it down. With every word he says, you realize how much you want him to stay in your life... forever. To be honest, you wouldn't know what you would do without someone who loved to tease you affectionately, allow you to drag them on the stupidest errands, or own that sweet, awkward, shy smile that always made your heart flutter a little bit deep down.
"This is too much for me," you groan jokingly, closing your eyes to enjoy your moment of bliss. His cool fingers move to squish your cheeks and you open your eyes to face him. "I like you too." Taesan's mouth drops slightly and you continue, "Actually, I like you a lot."
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linger
synopsis — being wrapped around dongmin’s finger had a price, one you never thought you’d have to pay.
pairing — situationship!han dongmin x gn!reader
genre — angst
warnings — cheating-ish, taesan is a jerk, reader is somewhat ‘blinded by love’ (until they aren’t)
word count — 2.2k
notes — this was inspired by linger by the cranberries ! hope you guys enjoy <3 (i also listened to all too well 10 min version a majority of the time i wrote this so thats also a half-decent alternative)
the magnetic force that pulled you towards dongmin was inexplicable. there was something that both your heart and mind couldn’t resist—something that made him so alluring. it was as if all of the desire in the world was concentrated within the cells of his skin; even a mere brush against him harnessed the ability to spread his beautiful poison.
akin to most others, you couldn’t resist the temptation of beauty, even if it was tainted. once you’d pricked your finger on the venomous spindle, you fell into an everlasting slumber; one that took on the form of han dongmin.
your days resembled a night’s dream by virtue of dongmin’s new presence in your life. his aura exuded tranquility, and it seeped into your own. still moments were common with him, which led you to what you felt was a well-needed state of peace. you had thought that he symbolized what was constantly missing from your life: grounding.
in your eyes, he was nothing short of shade that shielded you from the blistering heat of a summer day. he reeled you back in when you’d float too high, forbidding you from suffocating in the fog of the clouds. he protected you from your own flame, preventing it from growing too big. he had provided a piece of himself that you never had yourself.
although he completed your puzzle, you had not the slightest idea of if you completed his. while all of your barriers were broken, his were built with the strongest steel. beyond the shield of his smile was something you couldn’t fathom, something out of your bounds.
even if the unknown tore you apart, everything within your reach was more than enough. he’d always put you back together with the kiss of his lips, and keep you whole with the intertwining of his fingers with yours. ignorance had brought you bliss, serving it to you on a gold-plated platter.
for all of everything intimate about you and dongmin, there wasn’t a label that you could plaster onto the two of you. there was nothing stronger than ‘we’ or ‘us’ that could define you. you teetered between ‘something’ and ‘nothing’, and you hoped for nothing more than to be something.
something was a craving that you couldn’t satisfy. something kept you up at night, and it occupied every one of your dreams, whether it be under the sun or moon. something was what carried you to the same park you and dongmin had met at, strolling in your lonesome on the same rock path two seasons later.
you were there in early spring, minutes before you and dongmin had met. you were walking through the path for a much different reason then, unaware of the meaning it’d hold months later.
you had found a wooden bench, putting your walk on pause as you sat down. you listened to the sounds of spring; the songs of birds, the march breeze, the families enjoying the day, and the crunch of the rocks becoming louder as someone had made their way towards you.
the moment you had turned your head to look was when your whole world shifted without you knowing. it was then that dongmin had made his very first appearance out of many in your life, and flashed you a very first smile in the same manner.
now, more than half a year later, it was you who was smiling at the memory. you stared down at the rock path, now covered in the warm autumn leaves. the sound of the crunch beneath your feet was different, each step leaving behind crushed leaves instead of dirtied rocks. everything had changed over the seasons, but the picture-perfect visual had stayed the same.
as you neared the bench you held close to your heart, your spirits lowered as you spotted a couple seated on it. they had their hands entwined, and you could hear them laughing together. you felt an envious pang in your chest, wanting nothing more than to be there with dongmin.
your steps became lighter, the couple’s conversation gradually becoming clearer. your face grew pale as you slowly came to a horrifying realization: you could recognize the boy’s voice anywhere—it was the same voice that belonged to the same boy you were there because of, the same voice that charmed you on that same bench months ago.
even with your silent begs for it to not be true, your heart dropped as his face came into view. dongmin was there, sat on the very bench your story had begun on, but with another girl; one that wasn’t—and would never be—you.
in that moment, your whole world shifted again, but you could feel it this time. you could feel your heart get crushed in the same way the leaves did, and you could feel your whole body go cold in the same way the autumn air was.
you felt heavy, heavy in a way that weighed you down both mentally and physically. your sorrow surpassed your feelings of envy by tenfold, and your feet felt too sunken into the ground to move. you weren’t nearly strong enough to, yet you were forced to carry the sudden baggage of everything that their simple gesture held.
that simple gesture that held the whole universe to you was so easily thrown out the window. what you knew now broke you, and what used to keep you whole was the culprit. knowledge brought you grief, serving it to you on a rusted platter.
too close to turn back and mind too clouded to think straight, you brought yourself up to dongmin. in the same way you had turned to him in spring, he turned to you now, expression unreadable.
everything felt all too familiar, and it scared you. it felt like a sick, twisted repeat of your meeting in march, and you didn’t know what you did to deserve it. you swore that you didn’t do anything to hurt him, yet he walked all over you as if you were the rock path.
“dongmin?” the vulnerability in your voice was clear, but his expression wasn’t.
dongmin sighed, and looked at the girl next to him. she was perplexed but compliant when dongmin slipped his hand out of hers, standing up. “i’ll be right back.”
as soon as he stood, he signaled you to follow him before walking off. you quickly began to trudge after him, guilt rising inside of you. you fiddled with your fingers, now regretting your confrontation.
dongmin led you far enough to where the bench was still in sight, but the abandoned girl wouldn’t be able to hear your conversation. as soon as he stopped, he turned to you, expression blank.
“what?” he stared you down, running a hand through his hair. when you didn’t say anything, he crossed his arms. “what’s the problem?”
you were just as dumbfounded as that girl; you thought it was clear as day why you were upset. “why—why were you holding her hand?”
he deadpanned. “i still don’t get it. why is that a problem?” his voice was painfully monotone, and for the first time, there was nothing beyond the surface.
he wasn’t upset with you, and that only pained you more. he didn’t care one bit, and that displayed just how little everything meant to him. even if he didn’t give it a second thought, you were still in so deep. even now, all you wanted was to be with him.
“because we’re a thing! we’re—” you stopped yourself short, realizing your mistake. you rewound to the sole reason you went to the park, the blood draining out of your face.
something; the one thing you never got from him. the one thing you endlessly longed for, but never came to fruition. your relationship with dongmin was the one bud that never blossomed back in spring, remaining dormant for months as if it were frozen in time.
the day you met dongmin was the closest to something you had ever gotten from him, and you were desperate to just feel as if you had it. you knew you’d never have it in your grasp, but even just the touch of your fingertips would be enough. instead of that, you were forced upon the truth; something that you never knew you’d face.
dongmin quirked an eyebrow. “we were never a thing,” he smiled at you, but it didn’t hold the same meaning it usually did. rather than comforting, it was mocking. for once, he resembled the dark surrounding the light; not the other way around.
all you could do was stand there, eyes slowly welling with tears. you hated that you were such a fool for him, almost as much as you hated how you were such a fool for the idea of being with him.
“god, don’t cry,” he sighed, throwing his head back lazily. “we’re nothing now, and we were nothing before. you never said it was a problem, so what do you even want?”
“you! i just want you!” your voice broke as your tears began to flow, emotions letting loose. “i always did, and i still do!”
“well, you have me—”
“obviously not, because if i did, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now!” you were near yelling, but you couldn’t care less if people could hear. dongmin was the only problem you cared about, and you wanted to fight to solve him.
silence hung in the air, and everything felt frozen. the only thing that moved was dongmin’s chest, rising up then down while he breathed, each breath deeper than the last. even now, your moments with dongmin were still, except you felt all but at peace.
“this is insane—you’re insane,” dongmin breathed out, looking away so his face was against the breeze. “this seriously doesn’t matter, so get over it. talk to me when you’ve come to your senses.”
you and the silence broke all the same, rending further as he walked past you. his footsteps rang in your ears, and they were louder than anything you’ve ever heard. his departure was deafening, and your puddles of tears were blinding.
you felt suffocated, more by the loss of dongmin than the loss of your senses. he was everything to you, and you lost him over something. you were as upset at yourself as you were at him; you wondered how you could be so mindless. you thought nothing could go wrong, but in the end, everything did.
you didn’t know if anything was ever right in the first place. everything that felt off about dongmin gradually began to make sense, and the puzzle pieces reconfigured into a different picture, uglier than it’d ever been.
everything you couldn’t fathom about dongmin didn’t exist. every barrier he had built was translucent, and beyond it was nothing. every smile he gave you didn’t mean anything, since everything behind it was nothing. the previously unknown was nothing, because that was what you truly meant to him.
he ripped a chunk out of you that you’d never get back, leaving it to be nothing. nothing was what was left of your heart; what once beat was broken by the boy it thrived for. nothing would be a taunt; a constant reminder that that was what you were to dongmin all along.
in reality, he was nothing short of the one rain cloud on a perfectly sunny day. he cut your wings, forbidding you from leaving the ground he cursed. he extinguished your flame, making it nearly impossible to reignite it. the piece of himself he provided to you before was now a parasite, intoxicating you from the inside out.
even in your sorrow-drunk daze, you knew that you had woken up from the dream that was too good to be. you escaped the everlasting slumber, and the spell was finally broken. although, your cure wasn’t a fairytale’s true love’s kiss; it was something of the opposite nature.
dongmin’s ‘beautiful’ poison had finally caught up to you, and it was less pretty than you’d thought it was. even so, you still couldn’t resist the temptation, even if he was irreversibly tainted. you wished for just one more look at your nightmare disguised as a daydream, so you made it come true.
you turned around, and your tear-blurred eyes trained on dongmin like it was a second nature. as if it were a third, you focused on his hand, intertwined with another. you didn’t have to question who it was, as the answer came as a fourth. you could almost ignore the feeling of your heart break at the thought, as it’d broken enough times for it to be a first nature.
you felt all but wanted, and in its place was the burning pain of feeling used. beyond your pain was everything that you couldn’t get rid of, including dongmin’s strong presence in your heart. you were still wrapped around his finger, despite the scars you’d always have to carry because of him. you knew that—even though there was nothing left—something would always linger.
© woonhakist 2023
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afraid of love
Exhausted from the intensity of the night before, you sank into the comforting embrace of your fluffy bed. But even in the tranquility of your room, your mind raced with memories of Eun Woo.
Did he make it so Seoul already?
Images of last night flooded your consciousness like a vivid, intoxicating dream.
Heated kisses on every inch of your body ignited a fire within you, each touch sending shivers down your spine and leaving you breathless with desire. Eun Woo's lips, soft and insistent, traced a path of passion across your skin.
His dark, brown eyes seemed to peer into the depths of your soul, stripping away all pretense and laying bare the raw, unfiltered emotions that lay hidden within. In those moments, it felt as though you were the only two people in the world, lost in a shared intimacy that transcended words.
Your bodies intertwined for hours, moving together in a dance of ecstasy and longing. Every touch was a symphony of pleasure that left you both gasping for breath.
Dirty promises were whispered into your ear, each word sending a jolt of electricity coursing through your veins. In the darkness of the night, with only the sound of your ragged breaths to fill the silence, you reveled in the shared intimacy of your whispered confessions, each promise a testament to the passion that burned between you.
As the night wore on, you both became a canvas for each other's desires, covering each other in colorful marks that served as a physical reminder of the passion that had ignited between you.
And as sleep finally claimed you both, you drifted off in his strong embrace, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat lulling you into a peaceful slumber. In that moment, wrapped in each other's arms, you knew that you had found something special, a connection that transcended the physical and reached deep into the depths of your soul.
Adrenaline flooded your system as you thought off all the things you did last night.
Or three nights prior to that. You matched on a random Sunday, after being abstinent from dating for a long time. Eun Woo was in town only for a couple of days for a video shoot but that didn’t stop him from having a good time.
He had been single for years after having his heart shattered by his first love. Ever since, he toyed with women as he pleased.
The first date was spent in his apartment, eating, and talking, cuddling, and fucking.
He was a passionate lover, even though he was starving for love and affection. The second date was a spontaneous invitation late at night, after all his mandatory meetings had been dealt with.
You repeated the first date’s actions but this time it felt more familiar, already knowing what you liked and needed. Eun Woo gave you his all, adoring you in every way he could.
Until he had to leave.
You remembered the sound of his alarm clock this morning, way too early and too sudden. He shifted in his sleep, groaning as he did not want to leave you.
Kisses on your neck were accompanied by his fingers entering you, sighing in appreciation.
“God, you feel so fucking good, y/n.”
Minutes after he was gone, catching his plane back to Seoul. You put your fingers on your lips, looking for the traces he had left. The sudden vibration of your phone brought you back into the present moment.
I landed.
Tired as fuck though.
How are you?
Missing you.
You didn’t want to get your hopes up – after all he didn’t even live in the same country. This was nothing but a repeated one-night stand, right? You thought back to the conversation you had before falling asleep.
“Do you think there is a future for us?”
He caught you off guard with this question, making you panic to find the right words.
“That depends on how well you treat me, Eun Woo”, you mocked jokingly.
He broke into laughter, loving your sassy side.
“I will love the ground you walk on, my queen. How about that?”
You joined in on his laughter and turned to face him, staring into his beautiful eyes.
“Do you mean it?”
He nodded.
Did you really mean it, though?
Oh, good!
Seoul has you back then 😉
Lying in bed and cuddling my plushie since you’re gone…
Did that sound stupid?
Your insecurities churned within you, suddenly you were hyper-aware of everything you said and did.
Haha
That’s it?
You felt sick to your stomach as you took that as confirmation. After all, you were right about him. He only used you for some fun during his trip. And now he’s back in his real life, in which you had no place in.
This was nothing but fun to him. Nothing but a repeated one-night stand.
Brrrr.
Brrrr.
Brrrrr.
What the fuck?
Barely awake you searched for your phone on your nightstand.
3:33 AM.
Who the fuck texts me at this hour?
You were instantly awake as you realized who it was.
Eun Woo.
I have no idea if you’re awake.
You’re probably asleep.
And I shouldn’t blow up your phone.
But I can’t help myself.
Anxiety formed in your stomach.
What was that supposed to mean?
Are you okay?
It took him seconds to answer.
You’re awake?
Did I wake you?
I’m sorry.
You sat up in bed, anxiously typing your reply.
It’s alright.
Why are you up?
Everything okay?
You saw him type his reply for minutes, driving you crazy in your heightened state.
No.
Nothing is okay.
I can’t stop thinking about you.
You swore your heart skipped a beat.
Did I read that right?
I can’t stop thinking about you and it drives me crazy.
You gasped, trying to think of a reply.
You make it sound like it’s a bad thing…
Countless messages followed.
It is.
Because you are not here with me.
And I’m not there with you.
I…
I didn’t want to leave you this morning.
I wanted to stay.
With you, y/n.
I really wanted to stay.
You pinched yourself, unsure if this was real.
Ouch.
Definitely real.
I know I sound crazy.
Maybe I am.
But I have fallen for you.
HARD.
The last hours I’ve thought about how I can manage to come back to your city.
Or how I could persuade you to come visit me in Seoul.
I almost popped a blood vessel thinking of ways.
What did you do to me?
You chuckled. Relief washed over you, since he felt the same way you did.
I keep replaying last night over and over.
How mesmerizing it felt to look into your beautiful eyes.
How amazing it felt to kiss you.
How mind-blowing it felt to be inside you.
Oh god and speaking of blowing.
The way your juicy lips wrapped around my cock?
I’m losing my mind here, y/n.
I’ve jerked off twice and still I couldn’t fall asleep.
Or stop thinking about you.
I’m a simp now, aren’t I?
Look what you turned me into.
You were in shock.
Hours ago, you thought he would abandon you and go on with his life but here he was, confessing his desire for you. Making it obvious that he wants to continue this and get to know you better.
Now is the time to get my hopes up, right?
Do you want me to fly over?
You felt brave asking, believing in your chance at love for once.
Already checking flights, babe.
A broad smile formed on your lips.
I can’t believe this.
He is serious, isn’t he?
I can’t wait to be with you, y/n.
I really fucking mean it.
And that scares me the most.
You understood him perfectly, especially since the connection between you was so strong. This was nothing like you had ever encountered before. It scared you just as much, but you were willing to try.
Hey, uhm…
Wanna be scared together?
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