#dont be afraid to invest in therapy or time away from life if you can

[bloopbyoop]

weep woop

ayo. ive read my scheduled email and its time for freewriting shit again. lmao. I want this post to be like a small light from a lit match stick inside a very hollow, icy, and numbing cave. (sounds cartoonish right? I know. Im obsessed with Adventure Time.) I want all people to be genuinely happy.  Spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Upon reaching my 24th anniversary in this world, I finally learned how to truly embrace all my emotions. Some are more overwhelming than the other, but we have to heed in our treacherous yet perplexing minds that everything is fleeting and we are in control. The feeling of extreme sadness fades, but so does joyful states. Everything can change in a matter of minutes or years. You are in control of all your emotions. You are in control of all your life choices. Your actions. Your words. Your perspective. It feels weird to actually write about it. I've wanted to talk about it. I never wanted help from anyone as I firmly believed that I was alone. Sure, I have a family and friends, but it is hard to see that when your head is clouded with negativity. I've even come to the point where I was too overwhelmed, I found being physically hurt less painful. The pain I felt distracted me from what I was thinking. My mind tended to go bonkers. lmao. But bro, I was so good at concealing my bonkers mind. It's easy to fake any emotion that you have. Slap anything sunshine-y or happy to anything and people would believe you. It went on for years. Long story short, thousands of bracelets collected, it became worse. The physical pain could no longer withhold the emotional pain. Couldn't sleep. Couldn't stop thinking. And voila! I found a good amount of self help books (from tumblr) and novels. Novels that brought me to different places. Self-help books that made me understand what I feel and what to do. I've read that taking the easy way out will leave everyone sad. AND IN THE FIRST PLACEEEEEE, I NEVER WANT THATTTTTTT. I want everyone to be happy. I would act foolish and do dumb shit to make everyone happy in a heartbeat. So, that idea made me push a few more years. Later on, the crippling shit came crawling back again to my head, sooooooo I needed new shit to keep me distracted again. Films, series, music, and short clips from YouTube helped me out a lot. Every single time that my mind is going to think like anything that can think of, even to the point that I was just going to think that I might be hungry, I'd watch something. There's just something about silence for me. Because of this new habit of mine, I've learned more about myself. I love different types of things. I like horror. I like thriller. I like comedy. I like romance. I love all types of films, but there is something about the horror genre that interests me. I still can't point out what, but I love watching horror films. With regards to music, I've learned that I love Indie, Punk Rock, Rap, and Pop. We all can't like a specific genre. It's stupid to ask "what genre of music do you like?". It's not actually stupid-stupid, it's just stupid. Ya know? Anyway, passing this phase, I needed to find something again because it's not doing the shit that it was supposed to, I tried investing more time on video games. By investing more, I mean a whole shit lot. I love video games since I was young cuz.... u know.... they keep u... try to guess it! oh yeah. you got that right! distracted! I love the aggressive plays and trashtalks that my friends and I make. The short stories we tell one another. The rants. The lame jokes. The late night we sound drunk but we are not drunk jokes. The roleplays. The lame jokes. The memes. And once again, The lame jokes. Something about lame jokes and the laughs and curses after that always gets me every single time. Oh shoot. Yup Yup. Few years later, I finally noticed the pattern that my sadness is temporary. I got over it one way or the other (or another. depends on how you wanna read it. i dont wanna say another cause i might write about one direction like what im doing now so-). Happiness is temporary as well. But, we are the ones who are actually in control of our emotions. If you wanna feel sad, be sad for a while. You're getting too sad? Try hanging out with your funny friends. Can't do that? Find an alternative. Watch a movie, knit a sweater. Anything your mind could think of as long as it will keep you mentally distracted from being physically and mentally hurt. I do have a few notes though. We cannot and should never assume what people are going through. It may be petty for you, but it may be very crucial to them. So never everrrr say things like: -Some people have it worse than you -At least you have ..... These sheetsss are annoying as heckkk and could really down someone. I know it is not your intention to annoy but people react differently. alsooooooo, it is not okay or normal to hate on things for bandwagon. that is just plainly crazy and stupid. let people enjoy things. anddddddd never suppress your emotions. admit what you feel inside and try to think of a way to resolve ittttt. keeping it to yourself will just make it worseeeeee. find your own outlettttttttt. hihihi ️ alsooooo. being more spiritually full with God's words and ideas really help me to be spiritually happy. ps. im christian but i dont discredit other religion and even applaud other religion's ideas and beliefs. this is a really long, selfish post so i might as well recommend some things I like : Songs with their lyrics that made me go through life. “I’ve got soul but I’m not a soldier” -All These Things That I've Done, The Killers “It's not too late, I'm still right here” -Breaking Your Own Heart, Kelly Clarkson "And the salt in my wounds / Isn't burning any more than it used to / It's not that I don't feel the pain / It's just I'm not afraid of hurting anymore / And the blood in these veins / Isn't pumping any less than it ever has / And that's the hope I have / The only thing I know that's keeping me alive" -Last Hope, Paramore “There is not a single word in the whole world / That could describe the hurt / The dullest knife just sawing back and forth / And ripping through the softest skin there ever was / How were you to know?” -Hate to See Your Heartbreak, Paramore "It's holding on, though the road's long / And seeing light in the darkest things And when you stare at your reflection / Finally knowing who it is / I know that you'll thank God you did" -1800, Logic "Did some things you can't speak of / But at night you live it all again / You wouldn't be shattered on the floor now / If only you had seen what you know now then" -Innocent, Taylor Swift (My bb) "10 months sober, I must admit / Just because you're clean don't mean you don't miss it / 10 months older, I won't give in / Now that I'm clean I'm never gonna risk it // Rain came pouring down when I was drowning / That's when I could finally breathe / And by morning gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean" -Clean, Taylor Swift “I guess I always knew / That I had all the strength to make it through.” -Believe in Me, Demi Lovato "I'm addicted to the madness / I'm a daughter of the sadness / I've been here too many times before / Been abandoned and I'm scared now / I can't handle another fallout / I am fragile, just washed upon the shore / They forget me, don't see me / When they love me, they leave me" -I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me, Demi Lovato “I'm overwhelmed / I need a voice to echo / I need a light to take me home / I need a star to follow / I don't know” -Nightingale, Demi Lovato "I'm a walking travesty / But I'm smiling at everything. // Arrogant boy, Love yourself so no one has to." -Therapy, All Time Low "I tried it once before but I didn't get too far / I felt a lot of pain but it didn't stop my heart. / But maybe I'm alive 'cause I didn't really wanna die / But nothing very special ever happens in my life / Take the blade away from me I am a freak, I am afraid that / All the blood escaping me won't end the pain / And I'll be haunting all the lives that cared for me / I died to be the white ghost / Of the man that I was meant to be" -Ghost, Badflower "Are the pieces of you / In the pieces of me? / I'm just so scared / You're who I'll be / When I erupt / Just like you do / They look at me / Like I look at you" -DNA, Lia Marie Johnson Movies and series to try : -The Perks of Being a Wallflower (The book is bomb af. if yall havent tried, ur missing out) -The Kings of Summer -Never Let Me Go -The Art of Getting By -Silver Linings Playbook -Winter’s Bone -The Lovely Bones (The script. The words) -Me and Earl and the Dying Girl -American Horror Story -Black Swan

pps. remember that every one has their own pace and point of view. don’t push yourself too hard, and don’t overthink. give yourself time, and respect all your emotions. analyze them but not more than like 5 minutes as anything beyond that might cause you to overthink and be sadder. and sad is not rad. hehe. you got this. you got you. self love is the best even though it can be tricky to do. nobody else is like you. you’re the only one of you (i just remembered me.......... i might have hummed it while typing it mid sentence). consider other people’s opinion but do not let it cloud your own judgement as you know yourself best. dont let other comment’s define you. spread love. vibe people you vibe with. ayeeee lets go!!! 

ppps this is my last post bc im happier now and know myself better. i no longer limit myself on the age that I want. I want to live as long as how God wants me to be. hehe. 

x :D

[red-elric]

furuba but it’s kimi instead of tohru :))

- so those of you who have read my one furuba fic (hey read my furuba fic) know that i kinda have some hcs for kimi’s family life? summarized: bio mom left when she was a kid bc her dad was cheating; she has a step mom, dad still cheats and the step mom knows about it but is okay with it as long as the dad tells her she’s his favorite; step mom and kimi have this passive aggressive relationship where they’re both trying to prove they’re the dad’s favorite, meanwhile dad’s a gaslighting piece of crap. anyway in this au, step mom and kimi get into a fight and step mom tries to kick her out, which only works bc kimi got fed up and decided to leave anyway (dad wasn’t around at the time, or he would’ve tried to calm things down prolly). kimi stubbornly ends up living in a tent bc she’s way too proud to ask anyone for help (and she doesn’t have many friends), shigure and yuki find her, etc etc etc

- tohru DOES exist, but her grandfather’s health issues aren’t as severe, so she stays living with him in ignorance of the sohma family curse. the whole drama w kyo and kyoko and everything still happened with her, and the kyoru is like kind of a side story happening in the background (with some shenanigans about whether or not tohru found out about the curse somehow maybe) but it’s KIMI TIME in this au

- i feel like it’s really important to mention that kimi’s first instinct, when shigure yuki and kyo turned into animals in front of her for the first time, was to whip out her phone and vague tweet ‘sohma yuki is a RAT!!!!’ she gets sworn to secrecy by the sohmas right after, but the talk of the school the next day is ‘what the hell did the prince do to get called out by kimi???’ she gets ‘harassed’ by the prince yuki club about ‘besmirching the prince’s good name,’ which obviously turns into kimi harassing the prince yuki club right back (i imagine she plays the whole thing off as a ‘lovers’ momentary spat,’ from which they ‘worked out and made up very quickly and enthusiastically o3-’)

- kimi still isn’t in yuki and kyo’s class! she’s also much, MUCH more difficult for either of them to deal with, and weirdly, yuki and kyo sort of.... end up spending a lot more time together than they do in canon? they kind of come to a truce of ‘kimi and shigure are way too difficult to deal with,’ at least at home, and they don’t have a tohru buffer to lean on this time. kimi has like. next to no interest in yuki or kyo, so honestly their relationships dont develop that much. HOWEVER, when she meets kagura and the prince yuki club (and any time she interacts with them), she tends to hang ALL OVER kyo or yuki with the specific intent of pissing off the girls, because she really likes to start shit like that

- kimi’s a business oriented girl. she wants SHIGURE to be her SUGAR DADDY. shigure joked along with her flirting at first, but quickly realized that she might actually be serious, so now he’s kind of afraid of her??? in that, he avoids being caught alone in a room with her and will occasionally beg kyo or yuki to help him (they never do--shigure deserves the harassment).

- kyo and yuki don’t have a big three dynamic with kimi the way they do in canon with tohru. you know who are the other two to kimi’s big three??? MOMIJI AND HARU. momiji is DELIGHTED by kimi, and the two of them co-conspire often in all sorts of things. they plan family trips, prank other sohmas, and gossip like NOBODIES business. kimi and haru, on the other hand, both have a certain ‘unstoppable chaotic force’ energy, and they get along quite well too. the three of them being so close helps a lot with filling in the gaps where kimi doesn’t quite fit the shoes of being a kind, loving heroine like tohru; kimi has the force of personality to point out when the sohmas and their family situations are being ridiculous, and momiji and haru are kind and loving enough to provide comfort and support to a lot of the family.

- yuki at whatever point in the story: i think... i should accept the offer to be the student council president. it’d be good for my character development and self confidence and whatever. / kimi from the next room over: YUN! omg we can spend so much more time together now! takei asked me to join the student council as a secretary JUST this morning :))

- kimi and kakeru are friends at the beginning of the story! kimi has a crush on him and he’s a) oblivious and a dick about it and b) gay (my au my rules it’s fuckin endgame yukeru in this bitch. komaki is his beard and she’s fully aware of that lahfkdsjflkdshfksdjflkds). kimi HATES that she has a crush on this wimpy eboy and and it’s a point of tension between them :)) especially once yukeru endgame starts being more and more obvious

- at the beginning of the story, kimi...... doesnt take momiji seriously as a potential romantic partner. big big part of her arc is recognizing that the tall, traditionally attractive boys arent always the best romantic options, though, and she does eventually start to fall for him :)) and THEN he grows like eight inches in a month and she starts calling him an investment lahfkdsjfksdhjfdshfksjlkfsjl

- the beach akito/kimi/momiji confrontation is CHARGED because MOMIJI is there and he’s in DANGER and kimi gets fuckin PISSED because that’s HER friend, her boy, her ONE. akito talks shit and kimi talks fuckin shit back and they get in a full on catfight. they’re screaming at each other, clawing at each other. kureno has to physically pull akito away; kimi only doesnt chase after them because momiji is hurt. this is a major moment in kimi’s slow realization of her feelings for momiji :))

- kimi and rin, once rin makes up with haru and is able to relax a little, become a seething, curse fighting TEAM. on the other hand..... the argument of ‘the curse WILL break, eventually’ ends up working on kimi, even though she feels strange about it. she cares about kyo, to an extent, but it’s a lot easier for her to give up on him than it was for tohru in canon, for obvious reasons.

- when his curse breaks, momiji has someone to tell :,))

- tohru visits shigure’s house one morning to tell kyo about her feelings. akito stabs kureno, runs to shigure’s house, and has a conversation with tohru (who she has never met before lahfdlsfjdskfjdfksl) screaming about ‘oh are you some bitch here to confess to kyo?? guess fuckin WHAT he belongs to me, to us, he’s getting locked up in the spring, fuck you’ but uhh tohru has had a lot of offscreen development and whatnot and she ends up getting thru to akki. and then she falls off a fuckin cliff lhfkdsjfkdsjflksjfdlks you know how the story goes. anyway kimi had spent the night at momiji’s house and comes back to the WEIRDEST mood layfldskdsjfieuwfjkdskhggkdasjflkdsjlkjflkds

- oh and for good measure: uo goes to college instead of following kureno, akki and shigure get couple therapy. yukeru are gay, momiji and kimi live happily ever after. the end :))

#it me #fruits basket #fruits basket spoilers #kimi toudou #momiji sohma #hatsuharu sohma #momiji/kimi #momimi #au post #kimi au #dont mind me im just havin fun lahfkdsfhkdsjfkldsjflkds

[princessmovieticket]

All repost. Very little.....Post....

Alright, let's do it. A brief midnight ramble into the tumblr void that's not actually ment for the masses. But just the 3 people who scroll by.

My AvPD got stronger. Making the comic got a bit trickier for me as it brought more attention.

I became super anxious and very in my head due to it.

I'm not really good with attention. But I love creating work for people to experience.

Also. I tend to shut down when things get tough. I fully socially withdrawal.

I once went a month when the only other living human I saw was my mom. I only saw her twice, each time to drop off groceries. Only lasting 10ish minutes.

And I sent less that 8 messages in total that month.

......I grew up, as a middle child, in a big chaotic family.

being alone and taking care of kids occupied my time.

That alone time was for making things. Babysitting was me investing as much love and diversity and humor into my 4 younger sisters lives.

But everything I had to deal with I learned to deal with alone. It seemed like that's what I supposed to do.

Anyway. Skip ahead. Full story isnt important, I don't actually know if there's a point to this writing, it's actually spontaneous writing here.

I can say with the utmost absolute certainty I have Complex ptsd from my chronic illness.

And that running out of energy, becoming sick, took my social anxiety and turned it into full AvpD.

I can go a month talking to almost no one and still expect myself to be strong enough to handle it.

But I desperately want to be able to handle...communicating.

*sigh* for the record, social anxiety is not the same as being socially inept.

Even with fierce fear, I do my best.

And it can look convincing.

Probably because I'm in one of those stages when I talk myself up to....talk. Even in a post that hopefully just 1 person might see.

Posting.

Bah.

Baron, my guinea pig died. Yup. Left turn. Hang in there you 1-4 readers.

In my never ending alone time, there was a 4 year period, when Baron was here, with me, and Benji.

I don't think I spent more than 12 days away from him.

But other than those 12. Baron was here to great the morning. My after cymbalta alarm going off was his cue to beg for celery and cilantro.

My ambien alarm, alerted him it was time for nightly sping mix.

The cage has always be right in front of me.

And Benji and Baron, in the absence of humanity, were there with me.

Days. Of it just being us. And me, hating myself for not having the guts to have a continued friendship with anybody. Or even being to socially anxious to respond to patreon followers emails, taking days to gather the courage.

Times have shifted a little since.

I have a boyfriend. Who loved Baron as much as me...well, just having my best friend, him, with me, helps so much.

We broke up for while. But it was the needed good type. Technically a year.

Anyway. It's what we needed. We both needed to grow up, and take some steps away. And it has been so wildly healthier.

So it's good he was here, when Baron passed away.

Because I totally shut down.

And though it's been over a month, and I was handling it the best I could, it's still having an impact on my behavior.

My AvPD grew extremely strong.

Weird to have a comic reach 20,000 notes, and messages pouring in...with so much...love. and compliments.

When I am nearly, too afraid to even speak verbally.

It's, ya know, an interesting situation.

20,000 isn't that much. But I still got a panic attack looking through notes.

Dont get me wrong, I....do feel loved. And I'm in awe that people would message me in the first place. It's very..... honest? It's building my confidence.

I'm holding on to it, in hopes I can use it to tell myself, "it's okay." And take on small interactions one by one.

Hopefully to reach a place where AvPD has less control.

Will I have just as strong AvPD episodes on the future? (I say episodes to indicate that during stress or sad life happenings AvPD tends to worsen at those times).

Yeah. Hell yeah. I'll probably deal with this....forever. It's just that ingrained. Without the energy to fight it, or, rather, the energy to expose myself to situations that work as exposure therapy and create relationships,

It's hard to imagine reaching that place of.....it not controlling much of my life.

Oh. Okay, I'm tired. Fatigue just hit. Was hitting, but really ran outta spoons. That's okay. It's after midnight. And this

Was just rambles in the tumblr void.

An attempt to.... just post. And not just repost.

Goodnight, Nightvale tumblr, goodnight.

#avpd #rambles #personal

[missmentelle]

Hello. I am concerned about a friend who is in a relationship that doesnt seem to be very healthy. He belittles her in front her friends, forces her to perform sexual acts, and takes advantage of her financial situation while basically providing nothing in return (he immigrated to where she lived and doesn't help pay rent). He cheated also cheated. Her friends have tried talking to her about this multiple times, but she doesn't accept any advice and rather is pushing all her friends out of *1*

her life. I dont think she had the best upbringing or parent child relationship and she probably thinks that this is all she deserves, despite the fact that she is a strong, opinionated, successful person. I know she has to want to leave the relationship herself and that it is not our place to tell her to do that. But in the meantime I am afraid she is fucking up her self esteem and losing all her friends. What can i do, if anything?

Trying to get a friend out of an obviously abusive relationship is one of the most difficult and frustrating situations you’ll ever go through with somebody. I have been on both ends of this situation - both as the supportive friend, and as the battered woman who is refusing to leave - and I know firsthand how tough it can be to navigate something like this. It is true that you cannot force anyone to do anything; the person in the relationship has to want to leave, and it can take a very long time for someone to come to that realization. There are, however, things that you can do to help. In general, if you have a friend who is in an apparently abusive relationship and you would like to help them escape, the best thing you can do is:

Emphasize that you will always be there for your friend and that they can always turn to you, no matter how distant they become. Abusers often intentionally go out of their way to isolate their victims from their friends and family for long periods of time; by the time someone is ready to leave an abusive relationship, they may have had minimal contact with their loved ones for weeks, months or even years. It can be extremely embarrassing to admit why you’ve been shutting people out of your life, and rebuilding relationships requires emotional energy that many abuse victims simply do not have - but without the emotional or material support of loved ones, it may be impossible to escape. The best way to combat this is to anticipate it. Make it clear to your friend, on many occasions, that your friendship is unconditional and available whenever they need it.  Make sure they know for an absolute fact that you will still be there for them, no questions asked, if they disappear from your life for months at a time and pop up again out of the blue in the middle of the night. 

Avoid insulting their partner. When you’re trying to help someone realize that they’re in an abusive relationship, the most obvious course of action is to point out what a piece of garbage their partner is, and pile on this person with criticisms and insults. This is a mistake. For most people, their choice of partner is closely tied to their personal identity. When you tell someone “your partner is abusive garbage”, what they hear is “you are the sort of person who dates abusive garbage” - and for most people, the best way to escape from that is to start defending their partner. The more you point out flaws in someone’s partner, the more that person will defend their partner - and the more time somebody spends defending their partner, the more psychologically invested they become in the relationship. Avoid talking about the partner at all, whenever possible. Instead, concentrate on pointing out your friend’s worth, and describe the kind of relationship that she deserves. Tell her all the ways that she is amazing, and let her know that she is worthy of a relationship with someone who does X, Y and Z for her. Let her be the one to figure out that her current relationship doesn’t measure up. 

Focus on specific behaviours, and avoid using the word “abuse” whenever possible. For many people in abusive relationships, hearing words like “abuse”, “abuser” or “abusive” immediately shuts down a conversation and sends them straight into denial mode. Most people have very entrenched - and extreme - ideas about what abusive relationships look like, and they may immediately shut the conversation down because their situation doesn’t match the stereotypes they’ve absorbed about what abuse looks like. Also, many people do not want to see themselves as “victims”, and they may endure all kinds of objectively abusive behaviours for long periods of time in order to avoid hearing words like “abuse” applied to them. Instead of talking about the a-word, focus on specific behaviours. If he’s belittling her in front of other people, focus on that - ask her if she’s okay, if that happens a lot, and how she feels about it. Try to make her see that individual behaviours are not normal, rather than trying to drive the message home that “you are an abuse victim”. 

Keep conversations about the relationship friendly, casual and light. Overly confrontational or emotional conversations - or worse yet, formal “interventions” - can be way, way too much for someone in an abusive relationship, and it can make them withdraw even further from their relationship with you. Approach the conversations in a light, casual tone, and try to keep things as friendly and non-confrontational as possible. Instead of laying out all your evidence for abuse all at once and demanding that your friend dump their partner, focus on one thing at a time. “Hey, I noticed that your partner did X, that seemed kind of weird. How do you feel about that?” is a much gentler way to start the conversation, and it lets your friend vent about an abusive behaviour without feeling like an abuse “victim”. Deciding to leave an abuser is a gradual process, and you are much more likely to guide your friend there with constant low-key conversations than with one big blowout. 

Present your friend with multiple options for dealing with the relationship. If you respond to all of your friend’s complaints about the relationship with “he’s abusive, dump him”, she will quickly stop confiding in you or turning to you for advice if she is not ready to leave the relationship. Instead, help her brainstorm several possible courses of action, and make it clear that you will support her no matter what she chooses. If she complains to you that she has had a serious fight with her partner, you might present her with the possible options of moving out for a while, going to see a therapist to deal with the fight (an individual therapist - never recommend couples’ therapy for an abusive relationship), breaking up with him, or spending more time with her friends for emotional support. Even if she is not willing to end the relationship, try to guide her toward courses of action that help her build up her confidence and independence. Abusers destroy their victims’ sense of autonomy - telling a victim what to do just reinforces their sense of not having control over their own life. Instead, work on empowering the victim, and validating her ability to make her own choices. 

Helping someone realize that their relationship is unhealthy can be a very long process, and it doesn’t typically happen overnight. It can take months or years of abuse before the person even realizes that their situation is abnormal, and it can take many more months or years for them to actually decide that the situation is not salvageable and that they need to leave. Be patient. These are situations where someone’s health and safety are at risk, and it can be tempting to want to rip them out of the relationship as quickly as possible. But in general, the more the person feels like leaving is their decision, the more likely they are to stay away. It’s better to have someone take 6 months to leave a relationship and stay away for good, than it is to get them out in 1 month, and have them return to the abuser two weeks later. 

If you are interested in resources in your area - or if you want advice on how to have these kinds of conversations with a friend - contact a domestic violence hotline or a program for abused women, and explain your situation. They should be able to provide you with more advice and information that you can use. 

Best of luck to you and your friend. 

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

answers (16)

Anonymous said: A lot of these secrets are really serious and sad so heres a lighter one: me and my sister are knitting christmas socks for the whole family as a surprise. Ive never knit a pattern before but im really good!!

Amazing!! 

Anonymous said: idk if your still doing this but my secret is I fear im a terrible person who only acts nice to rick people into liking her and ik that actually does make me an okay but i still feel im doing it for the wrong reasons and someones going to get too close and find out the truth and hate me

That’s very self aware of you, I think-- probably too self aware. You’re absolutely right to say it’s the trying that matters, but I’m not gonna blame you for worrying about it. I have similar concerns about myself sometimes. I’m aware that for me personally they’re partially justified. Some of my kindness is self motivated. 

I think though (and it seems like you already know this) it’s the effect of the kindness that matters. Maybe it’s better for me if I have “pure” intentions, but if I don’t, I should still do the kind things anyway, right? Because at the end there’s still going to be good. And there’s nothing bad about actively trying to be good, which is all we’re doing. 

Anonymous said: my secret is that ive been chasing after a dream my whole life but im not sure ill ever achieve it. times running out and i dont know what to do if i cant. i feel like my whole life has been put on standby and i dont know the way out. i know ill be okay in the end but i dont know what the end will be and that scares me.

Shit that’s relatable. You really will be okay, but it’s terrifying in the meantime, isn’t it? To have those turning points bearing down on you?

Things will happen. You can’t stop that. Time is gonna continue, but you’ll still be there at the end. Your head’s already in the right place. 

Anonymous said: My secret is that I really, really like one of my friends, but he has a girlfriend and slept with one of my best friends when they were both super drunk. I want the feelings to stop and go back to being just friends, because I honestly think I don't have a chance, but there is a small part of me that doesn't want to let go. I don't know what to do.

Well that’s a bitch of a situation, isn’t it? Romantic feelings aren’t really my area, but I understand holding on to things you consciously want to let go. Emotions always feel like part of me, you know? I don’t want to tear them away. Sometimes it’s better to do it, though. I don’t know from a few sentences if that’s the case here, but I hope you find the way that’s the best for you 

Anonymous said: My secret is I used to be suicidal, in my pre/early teens. I had realised I was lesbian in a small, largely Catholic town and hated myself for it. I was awful at social situations and couldn’t make friends. I hated myself for having baby fat because I danced part time. Then as I got older I slowly got more confident until one day a friend died I realised that holy shit I used to be suicidal and I could have killed myself. I’m terrified that I might get like that again and actually do it

Honestly, and I know this is gonna sound cliche, but I’m always in awe of folks like you. I don’t handle my own mental health issues super well most of the time, and to hear about someone growing? Changing? Getting better? Amazing

Anonymous said: If you're still taking these... my secret is that I don't want to give birth to children ever, and would consider adopting instead (when I'm older), but if I were to voice that to any family member or even an acquitance, they would shun me for it and make sure they try to talk me out of it. I really hate how conservative people put so many expectations on my shoulders

Heyyyyyy same. I’m not planning on birthing any kids, but my parents have come down pretty heavily on the single-women-should-not-adopt-children thing, which is.... bullshit. I’m gonna adopt some kids one day, whether they like it or not. 

You know your own mind and your own plans. Other people don’t have to be happy about them, even (maybe especially) family members. 

Anonymous said: My secret is that I’m a bad friend. I don’t make time for the few friends I have and spend most my time working or being in my room. They deserve better than me.

I don’t think you’re a bad friend. Not being around isn’t bad-friend behavior. You’re not hurting anyone. You’re not doing anything wrong. And I certainly don’t think that it justifies the idea that they should leave you. Relationships are always kinda a difficult balancing act, but you don’t have to be perfect at balancing it, you know?

Anonymous said: My secret is that I'm extremely self-sufficient, I've always had to be. But because there's no one else taking care of me it's so hard to invest my time in others because I'll neglect my own mental state. It make sit hard to develop stable relationships. Every once in a while I re-realize that I'm no one's priority so I have to be my own. And it just sucks.

Shit anon that’s really really rough. It makes me sad with you. I’m not going to tell you you’re wrong, because I don’t know, do I? But I hope you are. 

Anonymous said: My secret is I imagine myself as OCs I create for certain fandoms like Young Justice or Castlevania, and I spend all my time daydreaming of how I would act in episodes and how I would interact with the characters. I think it’s because I’m not satisfied with my life, and I’m also afraid that this makes me either weird or crazy.

Oh biggest mood

I do that too. I’m not in a position to say whether that’s a good or bad thing, but I like to think it just makes us creative. For me, it eventually found an outlet in writing, and that’s been a big source of joy in my life. I had some unpleasant experiences sharing that stuff with people in the past, but for me? I don’t worry about it anymore. I know a lot of people that do similar stuff.

Write some fanfiction, maybe :) You might be real good at it

Anonymous said: My secret is I’m secretly attracted to people who are better than me at stuff

That’s not really my area, but seems to me that’s a pretty good thing to be attracted to. One of the sweetest things I hear around school is people talking about how their partners are going to be such good lawyers. It’s cute. 

Anonymous said: My secret is that my anxiety is crushing me. I don't want to feel this way anymore.

Oh, anon. I just.... feel you. I’ve been really struggling lately with the idea that other people move through life without that handicap, and it amazes and angers me. Why don’t I get that? Why am I like this? It isn’t fair. 

And it isn’t. It just isn’t. You didn’t ask to death match your brain every second of the day. You’re not any worse than everyone else, so why do you have to suffer? I don’t know. I really don’t.

The only happy thing I can say to you is people do heal. It’s bullshit that it takes so much time and effort, but it is possible. I’m better off now than I was five years ago, even if it did take five years and a whole lot of therapy, medication, and energy. You shouldn’t have to fight like this, but you can, and you can win. 

Anonymous said: My secret is Im so bitter most of the time that I cant be happy for others. Me and my best friend are both singers but I can never be happy for her when she gets compliments or any success bc im jealous and im scared I'll never learn to be selfless and happy for other people

You’re only human. You have human emotions. You have every right to feel them. The only thing that matters is your choices, because that’s the only thing you can control. 

I’m so sorry you’re scared. That’s another emotion you have every right to feel 

Anonymous said: My secret is that sometimes I hated myself for not express what I felt because I thought they'll hate me or make distance of me but I'm learning to express my feelings to others and try to be more confidence :) I hope you'll be brave too and do whatever you want to do 💜

I wanna be anon when I grow up 

Anonymous said: My secret is that my hands hurt all the time but in different ways, and I’m scared to get help because I’m scared they’ll tell me I’m making it up or being dramatic.

Man do I hate the shit people put you through to get medical help. Everybody’s entitled to ask, aren’t they? So why are we all making that difficult? Why are we making people feel bad about their own pain?

I understand your fear, but I hope you start asking questions anyway. Other people’s opinions about it aren’t your fault

Anonymous said: My secret is that my dermatillomania has gotten way worse since I got to college, so I’m having to wear headscarves again to keep myself from picking my scalp. I smuggled my scarf collection out of my room without telling my parents.

I’m sorry, anon. That’s difficult. That sucks. That’s bullshit. 

Anonymous said: my secret is that when one of my family members says something homophobic I'll laugh and agree because I'm afraid that they'll disown me if there's any shred of proof that I'm LGBT and it makes me feel like such filth

That’s not your fault. It’s theirs for making you feel unsafe, because your safety really should be your first priority! That’s okay! You’re not being a bad person by doing it. You’re just protecting someone. You’re allowed to make that someone you

#some pretty heavy subjects here so #suicide #suicidal thoughts #anxiety #depression #mental illness #homophobia #if there's anything else let me know #asks #secrets

[swampgallows]

i have an appt with my therapist again today in a few hours and i think this will be like her third strike. i feel increasingly uncomfortable talking to her even if she seems invested in my writing etc. it just feels like the same shit all over again. people taking what they want from me and treating me like a commodity, like a personal jester for their entertainment, and then not giving a shit about me or my feelings. she told me it’s okay to talk a lot and to complain but then tells me to stop complaining—”we’ve done that part”—and while i dont like complaining at that point i was just explaining my reasoning more than complaining. 

i feel like she’s frustrated because i’m not making progress as quickly as she’d like and she thinks i have all this potential, and like, no shit. you’re frustrated after two months? try 28 fucking years. this has been the situation my entire life, this is what i’m in therapy for, this is why i’m suicidal. i’m sick to death of people saying all this shit about how i’m not doing enough, i’m not doing well enough, how i’m SO smart and SO this or that and treat me like i’m wasted potential all the time. i’m fucking sick of potential. and i get paralyzed about doing anything because when i do ANYTHING it’s never good enough, it’s always people telling me that i didnt try hard enough or that i didnt do my best or telling me how it could be better.

i busted my fucking ass off in school for nearly two decades, doing all the extra credit and being in advanced placement gifted magnet college prep what have you bullshit, at the top percentile of goddamn everything, and all of it amounted to nothing. all of it is inherently useless. i get to just live with the Good Feeling of doing a good job because it’s reflective of absolutely nothing. i have no life skills and no independence and zero confidence in myself doing anything. i have no faith in myself or reason to live. i dont have a reason to stick around and see anything through and the only reason i havent killed myself yet is because i’m afraid of death, but the only reason i havent committed myself to an institution is because of the backlash i would get from my parents and because of the hefty price tag on the asylum. 

once i get out of the house i usually feel better, but it has been a challenge to get out of the house. it’s a challenge to get anything done IN the house unless it’s something that my parents directly are scrutinizing me for. like “oh she did the dishes! she’s not useless after all.” or “oh she actually was doing something on her computer, looks like she isn���t just sitting around playing games.” and they care about those things not for my welfare but for their own image. they dont want some loser neet child, and i guess i dont really want that either, but only because of the image, really. i’d like to be independent from my parents but i constantly feel like it’s not possible or feasible due to external factors. even when i was employed there was no way i was making enough money to pay rent anywhere. one coworker who didnt live w her parents lived with NINE other people and STILL paid 800 a month. 

and even when i lived alone in my dorm away from my parents, i was still feeling completely useless and had no desire to do anything. i was completely disconnected from the world. raving was good at that time luckily but in terms of just...anything, i was talking to shitty people and meeting up with strangers who luckily didnt murder or rape me... just because. ironically i got hit by a car trying to meet up w a dude from school. i feel like i deserve to be punished and beaten constantly and i low-key do it to myself through denying myself anything. like sabotaging my life through passivity.

but it seemed like my therapist was more sympathetic before in her description of my “learned helplessness”, that it causes me fucking pain to try to do anything on my own. it’s not just nervousness or anxiety, it’s a paralyzing fear. because if i do anything it destroys my mom and then i have to live with that guilt and emotional fallout. i feel horrible that i don’t like my mom as a person, and i dont blame anyone else for also not liking her. i dont describe my mom as likable. i wish i could help my mom, but i can’t, and at the same time, i dont want to. she has sucked so much life out of me and she’s ruining my life but it also feels like i’ll be abandoning her if i go. it’s real fucking easy for my therapist to say “you’re not responsible for your parents” but theyve been responsible for me all this time. i didnt fucking ask to be born but i also feel like i’m literally the only thing keeping my mom from killing herself. i hate when she says “everyone would be better off without me” because to an extent it’s true. we’d be better off without her hoarding everything, we’d be better off not walking on eggshells constantly around her aggressive self-deprecation, we’d be better off without her bigotry (at least i would), we’d be better off without all the shit that makes me not want to help her. i dont want to resent my mom but i already have so much contempt for everything, and i’m so used to having these shackles on that i dont really know how to live without them. 

when i went to target with nate i felt just..shocked and excited but also scared about the fact that i could buy literally anything i wanted at the store for snacks and my parents wouldnt know about it. i wouldnt have to explain to my mom where i “got these” or if i had more or justify how expensive they were or have fear her buying ten more bags of it because i liked it one time. i got to just purchase what i wanted and ate it right there and like thank god they didnt KNOW about it. they’ll see that i spent money at target but they dont know it was on fancy cookies and candy. 

when i had a job i felt more independent because i was making money, and i’m still spending the money that i made, but they still fucking see everything i do unless it’s through paypal. i talked about opening a separate account but theres no way to get the money from that account to my new one without my parents noticing, obviously. it’s hard to take all of the steps that i can envision because i know they are painful. the only way my brother and sister have independence is because they’ve been completely emotionally numb or, more in my sister’s case, have been actively antagonistic toward my parents. my mom is now “afraid” of my sister, and nearly every time she comes over she’s screaming at my mom. 

i dont know the true logistics of opening a new bank account but i guess if i get a new job i could start putting the money in that account. im only applying to costco so far because i have literally no idea of what jobs are out there or what i could do. but costco has good benefits and i really REALLY need my teeth fixed and i REALLY need new glasses. im still wearing the glasses that were in the accident and have a huge gouge out of the center of the right lens. im scared that ive already trained my brain to create a blind spot. 

it helps to write this stuff out but it’s hard to find a solution. and maybe my therapist is also frustrated because she can’t find a solution either. but for me that’s just my fucking reality lmao. the only thing i can really think of is just throwing a dart on a map and sneaking away to some other fucking state or something. that’s really the only way my brother and sister made it out, too. but i dunno where i’d go or what i’d do, still, but at least then it would be more immediate and more on my terms. i’d basically just be throwing a dart somewhere. but then i’d really be alone.

#blathering

[spirit-shroud]

v long vent post under the cut, some advice would be really nice right now

my mom is a narcissistic, soul-sucking, god awful person with no sense of humanity, only money. she has a very rich(!!) boyfriend right now who lives in north carolina and has a very big house and is very nice, allegedly, and upon visiting his gigantic house and learning just how much money he makes, she decided her best next step was to straight up fake a house foreclosure, and casually tell me we're going to sell everything we own and pack up and move to north carolina with him in another three months. she also cancelled our health insurance so I can't continue my hormone replacement therapy or even get regular therapy, which i've desperately needed now for the past three years more than ever.

i told my sister and brother in law about this and they agreed to let me stay there, they said they'd try to get me on their insurance and i wouldnt have to worry about things like rent/getting a job or anything until i felt ready. that was the plan. i'd be able to move in with them in early june, and i'd be able to start getting back on my feet. i planned on getting my GED, getting a big headstart on my game, and going to school in NY to get a business/marketing degree (though i've also been very interested in becoming a robotics engineer as well for a few reasons). but of course, some issues came up

first off, my mother magically doesn't have the money to let me be able to visit them later in april, which is when we would've finalized moving plans anyways. which, seeing how everything else has been going, i'm going to chalk up to being a lie, and another means of keeping me trapped with her.

second off, my biological father is dying, apparently -- nobody will tell me any specifics on how or why. i don't know how much time he has left or what he even has. my sister wanted me to go visit him with her except here's the thing. i dont know my dad at all. i see him two days or less per YEAR. he has never once called me, nor texted me though he has my number. he doesn't contact me ever through skype/discord/social media even though he has access to all of those things. he doesn't send christmas cards or come visit or anything. he's a stranger to me. even when i send the first message its rare i get anything back.  he has all the tools to try and come into my life and be a father -- and i’d love him to! he’s been invited at several points! -  except he has never once tried. however, he'll talk to my sister all the time. i've been told they're on the phone lots and while i'm very glad that SHE gets to see him, i don't have that. i don't want to start that if he won’t. i told her i didn't want to pay him a visit now that he doesn't have much time left because he's a stranger, and i really don't think she understood what that meant because she's on the opposite end of the spectrum. he's her father, but not mine. and after our last talk about it, i'm so afraid to try and talk to her again. she's probably in a lot of pain over the whole thing and i just feel nothing towards him. hes a stranger!! he's not my dad and honestly what's been making me feel much worse about it all has been everyone like 'well he's your dad you SHOULD be caring' but i just dont! i can’t even FAKE any feelings for the guy. if he WANTED TO TRY HE WOULD'VE BUT HE DIDN'T. its like i just don't exist to anyone.

which leads me to another point of problems too that i've been really heavily realizing lately. everyone knows about my sister. she graduated college with like a 3.9 average or something and a fancy degree in biology and she has a stable job at a really cool lab doing what she loves. she's getting married soon. she's the only one my mom ever talks about to people. my sister. she's successful and my mom is so proud of her. most people don't even know she has a second child because im a dropout and im disabled and im trans and i'm too distant and unloveable and don't care enough about myself or others. people confuse me with my sister and when i introduce myself, they look confused. they've never heard of me. my mom only has one child. i'll never stand up to her. i'll never have that same light that she has because i'll never be able to follow my dreams. my mom tells me so often i'll never be her because im lazy and bad and stupid and all im ever good at doing is putting things off. and she words it like that, too. you'll never be like her. you'll never be successful. you're just going to live at home forever with me and you'll never get better. its a mantra. a haunting, crippling mantra. i'll never be her because she was just better, and able to run away to college at 18 and dropped all contact with us for years. she's better because she escaped. she's better because she's not me. i've surpassed living in her shadow. we're not even family. i'm a different species compared to her and that's all i'll ever be. what can i say except i'm jealous and i'm angry and so so worried about getting invested into anything?

and i'm just so afraid of finally moving, and saying one wrong thing, or slipping back into my old dumb habits, my old disorders, lazy streaks, my dumb breakdowns and finding myself out on the streets when my health is already so sketchy, or having to live in some strange house with some strange guy and that woman, the bitch who drove me to hate myself. both aren't good options. both aren't reasonable. there isn't a good choice and i know its my fault that it has to be like this because i let her get to me along the way, its my fault i believe my mother every time she screams at me i'm not good enough and that i'm the reason she's hurting too much to work or clean or do anything. its my fault i've been having panic attacks daily. its my fault im jealous and don't have any family. im worthless and useless and lazy and horrible and nothing i ever do will matter because nobody wants me. ive been getting hesitant on following my own dreams of writing or making a game or letting other people in on the things i want because i know i'll just fail. she was right. she's been right all along.

and even at the time in my life where i could get away from her, she's managed to block the path. i dont even want to live right now. honest to god the thought's been crossing my mind constantly. i don't know what to do anymore. im stuck here. there's nothing i can do. she won. that's all there is to it. she won.

#better just have my like sixth mental breakdown in two days haha wow i want it all to stop

[were-cheetah-stiles]

So yesterday I talked to this lady who was shook nasty because of her husband leaving her for her friend. Together seven years married one. What’s the fucking point of seeking out a relationship when shit like that happens everyday. I’m not a decent person. Something like that is bound to happen to me.

well, i do not know why you sent this to me, but i guess im glad you did. 

story time, gather round kids. 

so, i have had three major relationships in my life. 

the first, was about a year long, i lost my virginity to him, i loved him deeply, yada yada yada. he cheated on me. dated that girl for two years, and i had to see them every day because high school sucks. 

the second, was a little over a year. i loved him. he was not a good person. he was a consequence of the headspace i was in at that time. i’ll get to that in a couple. he cheated on me after about two or three months of dating. i took him back. he then had a month long affair with some other girl, which i suspected was happening later on, after it was over, and i never said anything. then, after we spent about a week together on vacation in Chicago, he drove 45 minutes out of his way to fuck some girl. he finally admitted that last one to me. i asked him about the affair, having had found some definitive proof about it, and he finally admitted to it. we broke up. i got over that one pretty quickly. 

the last one was the big one. this one wrecked me. this one put me in therapy and almost ended with me flunking out of college. three years. if you dig far enough back around my personal tumblr, you can find the remnants of that relationship. he was my first great love. i had never experienced anything like that before. madly in love was an understatement. madly madly deeply in love for three years. we were about two months away from moving in together when he suddenly broke up with me. i found out he had been cheating on me and then moved in with the girl he cheated on me with in the apartment that we had picked out together. he had about $3000 worth of my stuff. there was a restraining order involved because of some stalking on his part. yea. that shit just about ended my life. 

remember how i was talking about the second one being a consequence of my headspace at the time? well, my parents had been married for about 29 years? something like that, when he cheated on my mom and walked out on us. i didn’t talk to him for almost five years. i made some really poor choices in terms of men and trying to fill that role of a male figure in my life in the meantime. 

with all of that being said, anon. people are shitty, yes, and shitty things happen to them, but with a defeatist attitude like that one, i dont know what you’re expecting to happen to you. that’s really fucking awful for that woman, but why would that happen to you? you were not in her exact situation. 

also, those experiences and relationships i listed above, they shaped me. they made me strong and independent and fierce and have led me to where i am today which is generally content, with great friends and wonderful experiences, and really choosing to invest in my happiness. some shitty cheating happened to me, but you don’t see me hating on relationships or men. i mean, you do see me hating on men, but that’s because white cis men are the fucking worst generally.. i digress…. 

i think what really irks me about this is how you took someone else’s trauma and made it about yourself.. like, what? this woman lost her partner, her friend, her previous life, her marriage, and you’re like, what about my relationships? i don’t get that.

like, idk, man. that kind of attitude kind of pisses me off. that’s like “what’s the point of going into the ocean if people get eaten by sharks five times a year?” or like “what’s the point of getting out of bed if there are terrorist attacks in Syria?” IDK PROBABLY BECAUSE YOU LIVE IN LIKE WEST VIRGINIA AND YOU ARE MORE THAN LIKELY NOT GOING TO GET ATTACKED BY A CAR BOMB?!??! 

WHO CARES IF YOU GET HURT FROM LOVE? YOU SHOULD GET HURT FROM IT. IT ISN’T MEANT TO BE BUTTERFLIES AND UNICORNS ALL THE TIME. IT’S MEANT TO BE DEEP AND LAYERED AND DIFFICULT. YOU ARE MEANT TO INVEST TIME AND EFFORT INTO IT AND IF IT DOESNT WORK OUT, LEARN FROM IT. 

sorry. 

idk, dude. love is amazing. jump in, be afraid, but don’t let it stop you from living your fucking best life. 

#i may have gotten a little heated

[adameve345-blog]

A Guide to Buying Adult novelties and Sex Accessories

One of several easiest ways to change inside the heat in the bedroom would be to get a little experimentation. You won't need to try anything crazy, but there are numerous simple steps you can take to spice some misconception. Among the most effective ways to provide a bit spice on the bedroom is always to put in a sex toy or accessory. Using toys may help any relationship from the romance department. However, choosing the right addition can not just be confusing, but sometimes experience the nerves also. This can be a brand-new world, and you might feel very inexperienced and intimidated. Don't allow this prevent you. Initially you acquire something on this line might seem scary. There are several tips that produce this pretty simple to suit your needs.

First, you ought to get informed about what is out there. There are sex toys that can in numerous shapes and forms both for males and females. In addition there are massage oils, costumes and adult games that can add a new layer to your sex life. When you're informed about what exactly is available, you will feel much more comfortable within an Adam & Eve 2018. You may think most people are watching you when you invest in to the money using something, but the people you can find all there for a similar reason. Sex toys are not as taboo as they was in the past. It's rising in popularity as the years pass. There is this type of number of issues that you can purchase which it may seem like there's something for all and every desire. Odds are the happy couple living nearby as well as friends and family are using some sort of toy inside their love life. Again, bear that in mind, everyone in that room are available for the similar reason. Don't allow it scare you. Large towns and cities generally have many different shops for you to choose from. You are able to pick using the stock they carry or location. If going into a store continues to be intimidating, you could become anonymous. Internet shopping will be your best ally. You have the time for it to check out each item, and can take away the urge to seize the very first item and set you back the bucks. Try to look for a web site that has a variety of stock and costs and concentrates on the therapy lamp. Like all shopping on the web, be sure you go with a reputable website. One other thing to seek out when shopping online for adult toys would be to go with a company that lists discretion as one of their priorities. You dont want to use a box with red lettering announcing the contents. More serious, how it show up on your charge card statement. Most companies use names for billing purposes that will not indicate the purchase you create. You shouldn't be afraid just to walk into the local sex store. Find out. Those who are employed in the store have heard everything before and are not planning to judge you or think you're pervert. Instead, they could offer you a helpful information, and demonstrate how some things work. Adult toys are commonplace now. See a sex store together with your spouse. If you're nervous, make an effort to go when they appear to be less crowded, maybe throughout the day. Discover quite prepared to make that step, then sit down with your spouse and commence looking online. The anticipation of what will be being released the mail might help to produce the right setting to get a romantic evening.

#Adam & Eve 2018

[worn-lies-truths-in-the-closet]

I’m starting to suffer that

awful spiral that is bad enough that you DONT tell anyone.

I can’t even tell my boyfriend because then he’ll worry and he’ll have to pull away and I’ll have nothing but myself (which I know is all I ever need) to cope with this immeasurable shame and misery.

I can’t tell anyone anymore. I’m afraid of getting admitted so I avoid therapy now. I’m afraid of losing friends so I hold and cry all night and complain about not getting sleep like it was some mysterious magical maiden that ran off with my sleep.

I’m struggling with my childhood trauma, my past experiences with rape and the continuous abuse (over and over a-fucking-gain and even from people who KNEW what I went through).

I’m different now.

It isn’t flashbacks, not as much anymore, it’s residual hatred of my body and fear of being touched or held. I freak out and have to stay away for moments at a time because I am terrified and need to feel safe again. I’m so good at shrugging it off like it’s just me being my normal loser self and part of be IS my loser self just admiring my partner from a distance but I HAVE to do that sometimes because I cannot let myself be held.

You and everyone else thinks I’m so full of myself that I walk around feeling beautiful all the time when the truth is that I feel disgusting and ugly and gross. I feel unlovable, unwanted.

I often tune out the opinions of everyone but my partner when it comes to my image. It’s dangerous but I confine such fears to spaces only they can exist in so that I have less anxieties. I aim to give the power to destroy, to, yes, rape and hurt and possibly even kill me in hopes that he never takes advantage of me. I don’t think he understands what level of trust and risk that is. I feel like he thinks love is just something I’m chasing after and willing to throw and anyone who’s nice to me. I’m willing to give it to someone who is kind to me and holds me as gently as possible while also showing me with every little squeeze, every hug, every kiss, that I am tolerable, likable even, but, mostly, deserving of love. Someone who doesn’t take advantage of me because of my situation, someone that shows me deep kindness and suffers both deliberately and unwittingly for me.

The difficulty lies in loving him and wanting him to have me, to own, to control, to use, to appreciate, and set free when I am so afraid. I’m far worse inside than I ever let on because I am ashamed to be so weak. It’s extremely burdensome for others.

As is obvious, I’m struggling with my inability to handle my current relationship well because I’m not smart enough to know not to give and take. When I give, I smother, and when I take, I siphon the very life essence from him. I’ve come to adopt a sort of laissez faire approach to communication for fear of becoming too engaged, too invested. It leaves me bland and tasteless but that seems to go unnoticed.

I’m struggling with money, with my ability to get back up and actually have a savings again.

I’m struggling with my health. I can never afford to eat properly and, I can’t take vitamins because I can’t even afford em. I can’t afford to set aside the money I need for classes I want to take, books I want to buy, gifts I want to give to others before our relationships have expired. I can’t afford my wants let alone my needs and I am so ashamed. I may know how to be honest about it but it hurts me inside that I am not above it yet, that I haven’t come free of an unfortunate type poverty just yet.

I’m struggling with my depression. I lie that I wake up happily. I wake up and cry for half an hour before I get to working out. I take a jog around the block at 4:30 to make the tears come from the physical pain of breathing too hard in the cold instead of being for reasons I can’t even begin to sound out.

I’m trying so hard but I keep feeling my mediocrity catching up to me like it’s my true identity waiting to be found out.

[awesome-legendarystudentcho-blog]

So my father has car insurace in Spring Valley , Ny which causes his insurance to be cheap...?

"So my father has car insurace in Spring Valley , Ny which causes his insurance to be cheap...?

He wants to add me as a driver and Im 19 yrs old. I live in Brooklyn. Me and him have two complete different addresess. When he adds me should I give them my brooklyn address or it doesnt matter. Note that I dont want the different address the increase his insurance

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeautoinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

RELATED QUESTIONS: 

Motorycle Insurance (NY)?

I am looking into buying a bike now, but before i do, i want to know, how much is the average amount an 18 yr old male would pay per month for insurance. I'm not looking for insurance sites that i can get a quote from, since i have not decided on the bike to get so any quote might be off. Any roundabout estimate would be very helpful, plus if u can recommend a bike that wouldnt cost me a fortune that'd be helpful too =)""

""Insurance rates for a 1996 Ford Crown Victoria in Chattanooga, Tennessee?""

My next car, just need to know the insurance. Asking you guys might prevent me a whole lot of hassle and harassment from the insurance companies.""

How much would insurance cost on a dodge charger in nj?

How much would insurance cost on a dodge charger in nj?

Can I get car insurance when I have a restricted license?

I have a B restriction on my tx license, would I still be able to get insurance, and if so will it cost more than insurance without a restriction""

I am looking for insurance on house?

i have drive insurance and i want to know if they have insurance on house also.

What's the best way to get a lower rate when it's time to renew my auto insurance?

my insurance is due next month, but I think I deserve a lower rate, and shouldn't just renew""

How much money can i get from a car accident?? it was not my fault?

i was in a car accident. the other driver crashed into me & did a hit and run. i was in the car with my g.f . my g.f ended up with back pains & neck pains. i ended up with two broken fingers & a cast in my left hand. in addition i had back pains too. it appears that the driver that hit me was d.u.i and did a hit and run and got caught. after that, the insurance from the driver salvaged my car. just paid me what is was worth 3k. ive been going to therapy for 2 months now with my g.f. i spend about 500-600 in medical bills. i was off work 3 months. im 21 years old and i live in the state of california. i have an attorney working on my case. so how much can i get from the insurance company and my g.f ????""

How do i get an online auto insurance quote in British Columbia??

Fvcking stupid place! How do i get insurance online in this god damn provence!!!

How to find people who need life insurance?

I am a Housewife and working as Insurance agent. Can u pls help me to find the people who need life insurance and investment plans? Thanks in advance.

Do I have to notify my auto insurance company if I was in a wreck?

Do I have to notify my auto insurance company if I was in a wreck AND it was NOT my fault? This is what happened: I was completely stopped because everyone else in front of me stopped in the middle of the road (some idiot in the front slammed on the brakes). A lady rams my rear end because she wasn't paying attention. My car got damaged, her's didn't. How do I go about claiming it? Is her insurance company going to pay for my repairs? Do I need to contact my insurance company at all? I don't want to pay anything and I don't want my rate to go up. Something I was planning to do way before all this happen was to change insurance companies because I can get the same coverage for less with someone else. Now if I tell my current insurance company that I was in a wreck and it was not my fault, would my new insurance company give me a higher rate than what I would've gotten if I didn't tell my insurance company?""

Did you know about a lost payee on your car insurance?

THE BANK CHARGED US A EXTRA $100 ON OUR CAR NOTE WITHOUT US KNOWING THEY SAY THEY SENT US A NOTICE BUT AT OUR OLD ADDRESS.NOW WE OWN THEM ABOUT $1200 WE READ OUR CONTRACT THEY CAN DO THIS WE HAVE TO SEND THE MONEY AND PUT THEM AS THE PAYEE ON THE INSURANCE FINE.WE DID THAT BUT THE PERSON AT THE BANK IS REAL NASTY TO MY WIFE THE EVEN THREATEN TO REPEO THE CAR IF WE DONT PAY THEY SAY WERE RE LIKE THREE MONTHS BEHIND DONE TO $100 DOLLOR FEE THEY WILL REFUND THE MONEY WHEN THEY ARE PUT ON THE INSURANCE AS THELOS-T PAYEE THEY WONT EVEN LET HER SPEAK TO A SUPERVISOR HAVE ANY BODY ELSE HAVE THIS PROBLEM.

""Was in a fender bender, not my fault but I have no auto insurance...advice?""

I live in LA, California. I was hit at a gas station -- a car backed into my front left door... My car was the only one with noticeable damage. However, I have no auto insurance. I also don't have a lot of money to get either cars fixed. I don't really care to get my car fixed since it's a 92 nissan stanza about to die out on me. I just don't want to get in trouble for not having insurance...Their auto insurance has already called and sent a letter to have my insurance rep contact them to work out a deal to fix my car. They are already claiming it to be their fault.... Should I call their insurance rep and let them know that I do not want to put down a claim? Or call the guy who hit me personally and let him know I don't want to put down a claim? Could they find out that I have no insurance and figure out a way to get me in trouble? I only gave them my name, address, phone number and driver's licence number. Side note: The car is registered under my sister. Her registration and license have been suspended due to a DUI. Will they find out about this and find a way to get me/us in trouble?""

How much would my insurance go up if im 17 and was at fault for a car accident worth more then 750 dollars?

my family plan was about 3k every 6 months. The other car had about 3.4k worth of damage also. Also if i turn 18 will my insurance still become cheaper?

How much is car insurance for 16 year olds?

How much is car insurance for 16 year olds?

Does a warning for running a red light increase insurance rates? PLEASE HELP!?

Today I got pulled over for the first time for running a red light , when the officer pulled me over, as he was getting off his bike I took my seatbelt off (I know, now that I think of it, it was such a stupid thing to do, but it was my first time being pulled over and I didnt know how to react). He di.dn't say anything about the seatbelt, but he told me that I ran the red light back there. Ok, let me explain this to you guys now, i don't know if you're familiar with Cape Cod or not but there are TONS, literally tons of tourists here right now, and the roads are really narrow.. There was a guy in an Audi pulling into a parking spot in reverse in front of me and he was taking half of the lane that I was on.. This parking spot happens to be 10 ft away from the set of lights. In my mind I was thinking, I'm gonna go to the left side to let this guy go in, and while that was happening I was worried about the tourists that like to jaywalk and cross the road inbetween cars... So I go to the left and the left and gas it a little bit, I was going like 10 mph as I was taking off, and the light turns yellow, I cross the crosswalk, then the light turns red and I drive under the set of lights.. These 2 bike cops came immediately after me... So long story short, it was my first time being pulled over, I took the seatbelts off, and I ran the red light because there was a guy pulling into a parking stop right in front of me and I was too worried looking around afraid I was going to hit a jaywalking tourists. I know people always think they're right, but I honestly think I didn't do anything wrong here. I got a $25 seat belt fine and a warning for running the red light, which is complete BS. I know it's a warning but I don't want it on my record at all, how can I appeal, any tips? Im only 18 years old, just got off my JOL and I'm very conscientious of other people, never speed or anything. I appreciate your help, will give best answer, thanks!""

Which type of insurance do I have?

I have AvMed insurance through my job and I am filling out paperwork online right now and I am not sure which type to choose: Primary Secondary Supplementary Worker's Comp It says Open Access-Self Refer to Specialist at the top of my insurance card. Could someone help me out please?

How much is car insurance for a 17 year old boy?

How much is car insurance for a 17 year old boy?

""Car with basic insurance stolen, what will insurance company say?""

My 90 honda civic was recently stolen, and I had the most basic insurance legally possible. Will my insurance help cover this at all? I have car insurance through Omni and I already called them... but I have to wait 24-48 hrs before I'll hear back from them. I think I know the answer already, but can anyone that's been in a similar situation fill me in?""

Which car insurance site does the cheapest qoute in uk?

L have brought my first car and l am looking for a cheap third party fire and theft car insurance does any one no of any cheap car insurance site in uk

""New to buy used car, can drive to home after buying with no insurance?""

i dont really know how to do, i am new to drive, Is it ok to drive the used car back home first but i dont have insurance, IF NO, what should i do????""

Do i need a motorcycle license to get insurance for my motorcycle?

i dont have a license yet but i want to get all the paperwork done so i can start riding as soon as i get my license.

""Im a new driver and my insurance in 1600 or above, i have tried all the cheapest cars!?""

i have just passed my driving test and i am looking for a cheap run around car to start me off, ive tried all the cheap cars (fiestas, peugeots and much more) but nothing seems to take my insurance lower, does anyone have any ideas...???? thanks.""

How much should i get for my car from insurance?

Before owning my car it was rear ended and received a reconstructed title. It is a 97 Honda Hatch Back. I'm curious as to how much value insurance will see as lost on the car due to the reconstructed title, though even though it was restored to near perfect condition. I was in stop and go traffic yesterday and the car behind me didn't realize all the cars had stopped, he hit me doing roughly 45, my car was pushed into another car and it's definitely totaled at this point. Is there a set percentage they deduct if you have a reconstructed title?""

Is there an option to suspend auto insurance coverage when you are not in the United States?

I am in the United States and have liability-only auto insurance coverage. I will be on vacation (out of United States) for about a month and my wife (also on my insurance policy) would be out of the United States for more than six (6) months. Based on preliminary findings, it seems that not having coverage (break in coverage) would impact future insurance premiums. What is the best way to save money as well as not impact coverage? Is there a concept like - suspend coverage for a while that when we are not in the country and not pay for that duration? Thanks in advance.""

""Is car insurance on a coupe, two seater car really that expensive?

or is it only like $20 extra as compared to a regular four door? my mom makes it sound like its another hundred....

So my father has car insurace in Spring Valley , Ny which causes his insurance to be cheap...?

He wants to add me as a driver and Im 19 yrs old. I live in Brooklyn. Me and him have two complete different addresess. When he adds me should I give them my brooklyn address or it doesnt matter. Note that I dont want the different address the increase his insurance

How much would insurance be on a mistibishi lancer GT on my moms insurance? (16 yrs. old)?

We are thinking about purchasing a mistibishi but we fear the insurance would skyrocket as me being a new driver. Any help?

What's the difference between disability insurance and disability benefits?

What's the difference between disability insurance and disability benefits?

A question about car insurance?

This chick hit my car but I have a feeling I'm going to be found guilty due to a faulty witness. I'm on my boyfriends insurance will it raise his rate? Also can he just remove me and put the car in his name? I'm so upset because this whole situation is the other drivers fault!!

Does anyone know of an affordable insurance company for an individual (major insur. companies preferrably)?

I am an individual contractor and in need of a health and dental insurance. There are so many to choose from and I don't know which ones I should be focusing on. Lower deductibles and higher copay better? What's an ideal payment each month? $200? $150? I need help.

""On a road trip with multiple drivers, how do you handle car insurance?""

I'm going on a road trip to the US (from Canada) with some other people, and we'll be using one of their cars. We're all driving this car. Is there car insurance we can buy just for the trip? It would suck to have an accident and affect the car owner's insurance. Thanks for any tips you have.""

Car insurance for someone driving my car? lil bit complicated =)?

My boyfriend drives my car occasionally and my full-coverage insurance will cover him and my car if he were to get in an accident. However, since I am still a student in college I'm on my parents' car insurance (have to pay them back once I graduate =P ) and they say that they don't want anyone who's not on the insurance policy to get in an accident and raise the family's rates, e.g. he's not allowed to drive the car. Understandable, however they won't add him onto our policy even if he pays his share himself. Now it's their prerogative, I'm not questioning that, but is there ANY way to purchase him automobile insurance that get's tapped FIRST in the event of an accident? ...To backtrack a little I've just researched non-owners policies, but they seem to work only after the initial insurance of the car (in my case my family's insurance) get's used up and the non-owner's insurance is used as a last resort; this still raises my family's insurance rates if there was an accident with him as the driver even if he had his own insurance. Does anybody know of any types of insurance that covers him driving my car without raising my parent's rates in the event of an accident? Thank you in advance! =) Oh and please don't say that he shouldn't be driving my car, etc. It's more of a hypothetical question as he rarely does but I'm getting tired of my parents getting on me when things happen, like getting the stomach flu when we're out and about and having him drive home, telling my mom later when im miserable, and her saying i don't care that you had the stomach flu he can't drive your car without his own insurance. Yay. Thanks, Mom.""

Can I drive without insurance?

hey people, so basically, I am going to turn 17 next month and will get my provisional. I am then going to take my theory test, along with driving lessons and then on to the practical test. Once I pass, I want to obviously drive, however the insurance premium for new drivers these days is ridiculous! I was wanting to ask if I can drive my parents car (which is insured to them) with their premission, or do I have to be insured as the next driver? By the way, the car would only be something like a 1.0 - 1.4 litre petrol. Thanks in advance!""

Speeding ticket and car insurance?

I was wondering if you get a speeding ticket you get points on your license which means your insurance goes up. What if you don't have insurance. For example if its under your parents name but you get the ticket would their insurance go up even if its you don't have car insurance

What is the best UK car insurance for me to get?

Ok, i'm a little confused here. Basically my insurance expires in a few days and i'm coming up to 4 years no claims. I've never protected these claims (obviously as you cannot protect less than four years) and on my renewal i've come to a dilemma; 1) I have got a fairly cheap quote which includes courtesy car, legal cover and windscreen cover (this is cheaper offer but doesn't offer protected no claims). or 2) courtesy car, protected no claims and windscreen cover (this is a little more expensive but doesn't have legal cover). Now my question is (since I don't know much about car insurance, i just know its a law), how important is legal cover? i'm assuming its very important but for the last four years i've never had any claims or been in any accidents, and i really want to start protecting my claims since my car is kind of old now and i'm worried about losing the last 4 years, any tips or advice? oh this is on comprehensive by the way. Thanks in advance to anyone that can help.""

Family car insurance cheaper?

Hi, my parents currently have car insurance with a bank. they want to include me into the insurance. is there a family insurance bundle that is cheaper than individual car insurance?""

""My mustang was totaled, and now has been auctioned ,how do I get the miledge for the Insurance company?""

Im having a time with my insurance company,my mustang was torched by some thuds,I guess fro fun,It was a 2004,fresh off the show room,Im the only owner,I had very low miledge, I didnt drive her much due to taking care of my disabled husband, 40 th anniversary special, pony package and a few more items on it,red,beautiful car well taken care of. This is the problem, My insurance wants proof of the miledge,I kept my documents in the car, they had someone pick up my car and had it auctioned off,now I need to find out where the car is,I sure it was sold for parts, I need the miledge off the car,proof of the miledge.Insurance is offering me a lower price because a vehicle of that year compared to their reports have alot of miledge,well mine didnt.I am so upset because they never had someone come and look at the car,they could have gotten the milege with a little work removing the screen, can some one give me some advice,thanks""

Does the monthly payment on a lease vehicle include taxes and car insurance?

I am looking to lease a car but I am on a budget. Ive been looking online at some people that want to sell or transfer their lease because I would only want it short term. Since lease cars are usually new insurance would be too much for me to pay, so I was wondering if a monthly lease payment includes it, and taxes.""

Why is my health insurance so much?

My girlfriend- is 22 in shape and healthy other than having psoriasis and ADD; she has health insurance and pays $90 damn bucks a month. I am looking for insurance since I will soon be 26 years old in shape and healthy and am looking at paying $200 a month. This is bullshit frankly- I am healthy, only have ADD (which I don't even take meds for but want to start again) and have a steady well paying job. I tried looking through the websites but found nothing less than $110 for not so great coverage. Can someone explain to me a. where to get good affordable health insurance b. why there is such a difference in cost since she has more problems and we are only 3 years apart c. are there any options for me if I went to healthcare.gov? I know she isn't lying about the payments and I know she has a co pay with each subscription/doctors visit but its minimal like $30-60 minimal. Any help or advise is very appreciated- also please don't make this political.""

Auto insurance on new car?

I am getting a new car under my name. Is it ok to put the car under my sisters insurance?? Its too expensive if im on the insurance.

Trying to find cheap car insurance for myself and daughter (she has a provisional licence) any recommendation?

small Matiz. 7years Ncd

New Brunswick Motorcycle Insurance is based on...?

I will be moving to NB this summer (from BC), and was wondering how the insurance rates out there are determined. Here in BC there are a number of insurance brackets (based on displacement) which determine the base rate. All bikes in any one bracket pay the same, so a 600cc sportbike is cheaper than a 883 Sportster (these are only for liability, theft and collision are based more on $$ value). In general, is it the same in NB? Would I save money by going to a smaller bike (I currently ride a 1127cc Suzuki GSX1100G), assuming the actual $$ value of the bike was about the same? Does the type of bike matter? I'd ask an insurance agent, but they are usually pretty reticent to explain how their rates are determined. Hope you can help.""

""How much does homeowners insurance cost in Nassau County, NY?""

I'm just starting to look at purchasing my first home and need to understand even a basic range of cost for yearly homeowners insurance for budgeting purposes. Without having a specific property in mind to request a rate for, is there any place I can see average or median homeowners insurance rates? I'm looking at homes in good condition for under $375,000 purchase price.""

Health insurance question?

can your parents drop your health insurance he your not 26 yet????

Is Matrix Direct a good ins company?

Is Matrix Direct a good ins company?

Insurance on car group 3?

I'm 17 and only just started driving, i'm looking into buying cars and I can't afford a high insurance price i'd say my top price would be 1800 pounds, i'm looking for buying a car with insurance group 3. Is this to high? will the insurance be through the roof? i'm not very experienced with this so all help would be welcome.""

Insurance rates for this car?

First car, v8 mustang""

Does the colour of your car affect how much your insurance will cost?

cos someone said that apparently darker coloured cars like black or darker shade blue green etc are more expensive on insurance than lighter ones like white, yellow etc Is this true or am i just being told myths?""

Do i need car insurance in my name?

My brother and me are sharing a car, I just got my license and my mom says i dont need to worry because the insurance covers the car not the driver, i live in texas, is this true?""

I just got my license and have no insurance..?

no car yet but will soon have one...what do you recommend?what will be cheaper to get my own insurance or be put on my parents...

Self employed and need affordable health insurance for self and children?

Self employed and need affordable health insurance for self and children?

So my father has car insurace in Spring Valley , Ny which causes his insurance to be cheap...?

He wants to add me as a driver and Im 19 yrs old. I live in Brooklyn. Me and him have two complete different addresess. When he adds me should I give them my brooklyn address or it doesnt matter. Note that I dont want the different address the increase his insurance

Will my parents insurance go up?

My parents have state farm. I'm 17 and I just got my license. I would want my name under my moms car. will my parents insurance go up? and if so about how much?

Insurance with 6 points?

Hi, I would like to get a car because I'm nearly 17 and I have 6 points on my license for letting someone ride my moped in an empty car park. Does anyone know where I could get insurance, so far I have been quoted 6500""

How much will insurance be for a 16 year old ?!?!?!?

Hello, please answer my question without sarcasm. ok so im 16 and 7 month, just got my license live in New york city, i will be getting a nissan maxima 97-98 a 100% when i can , can someone please tell me the estimate price that it will cost me to get it at 16, or if i wait till 17 even cause my parents say that no way in hell they can add me or let me use a car with their names =[ i have a job and am very dependent on myself , I also have a very high average if that will make insurance cheaper. Please tell me what you think and price ranges per year, and dont show me those websites that i have to fill info in to get a report of price range as i tried a lot and they support me with info at all. thanks!!!""

How to get cheap dodgy insurance?

how can i get cheap insurance that doesnt actually cover me but then im legally insured

Medical insurance question?

if you are not married to your spouse but have a child together can you go under their medical insurance through work?

Is there any advantage of group health insurance?

I would like to know if there is any advantage of a group health insurance plan over a personal health insurance policy. I am planning on buying a health insurance plan so I wanted to know.

What is the cheapest car insurance to get for a 22 year old for full coverage?

What is the cheapest car insurance to get for a 22 year old for full coverage?

Insurance Cost Starting Driver-?

Statement of Facts: 16 (soon turning 17) Good Grades, above B, honors Several after school activities (Student Council, if that is even relevant) Impeccable driving history (no infractions) State of Residence: Maine Rural/sub-city? Insured under fathers plan, also clean record (51 and 1 ticket?) Alright, I'm currently under my fathers policy and am driving his vehicle to school and back. Soon we will be purchasing a vehicle for my own, and I have a few questions. To be frank, I am looking at mustangs. Not v6s, but GT v8s, preferably standard transmissions. Dad's biggest problem is insurance, which is understandable. My question is how much said insurance would cost/ raise his existing policy? -I like this model because I want a vehicle with performance. When I think of performance, Muscle comes into mind. The quintessential of this and most feasible is a mustang. Many older versions (such as 1990's, early 2000's) so they are affordable, and I just like them. Also I know a considerable amount of knowledge for my age about vehicles due to helping in my grandfathers garage past summers and many weekend projects.""

What happens if to my insurance if i get married?

My parents pay for my insurance and ill have it till I'm 19 if I get married would I no longer have insurance?

Is there a way to get an affordable car insurance for a 17 year old?

Hey, I have passed my driving test, about a month ago, and I really need car. However, the car insurances are so insanely high, it's incredible! There where some for 27000!! How is someone suppose to afford that?! The cheapest I could find was 6000, that's still too expensive though. Does anyone know if there is a way how to get it cheaper? Oh yea, I already tried to put my parents on the insurance, it's still too expensive...I think it's better to get a new bike instead :D""

Can someone give me an aproxiamate estimate on how much my car insurance will be?

I am 22 and I will be getting my first car soon. It is used and in good condition. I am wanting to put my mother on the insurance as well so we can both drive the car and be covered.

Should I cancel my car insurance to save my money?

Currently, I'm living in WA, I have a car in TX. But my family member in TX driving it, and there names are under insure by my car insurance. If I want to save money on my car's insurance. I need to ask my insurance remove my name out of car insurance; is that right? or there is no difference between keep my name on car insurance and remove my name out of car's insurance? Thanks""

Car Insurance.?

Does anyone know if there is a temporary car insurance you can get, so you only have to pay for it when you are driving the car. My car insurance is $150/month for plpd(partial), it is the cheapest there is, and my car is only worth around $2000. I only drive my car once a month for a 70 mile round trip. I just think its a lot to be paying $150 for a 70 mile trip. More than $2 a mile just for the insurance seems like quite a bit to me. There is no taxis or public buses where I live, and I dont want anyone else to take me. I am only interested if someone can give me information about the insurance. And a motorcycle wont work. Thanks.""

Are there any good Websites about Insurance ?

For someone who is newbie in Insurance , Also if it contains cases and Q&A it would be best Does anyone know any ???""

Should I buy car insurance or not?

I am a teenage driver of 16. Insurance is very high for a teenager. My parents have Allstate Car Insurance for four of their cars including a Toyota Corolla which im going to be driving. The Corolla is covered by AllState insurance. I have a California Driver's License and live in California. About 6 months ago, my mom asked the insurance company whether the insurance would cover the car if she lent the car to someone and the insurance company said that they would cover the car as soon as the person who borrowed the car has a VALID DRIVERS LICENSE. I have a valid drivers license but I am under 18 (I am 16). The insurance person did not say anything about age. My question is whether it is necessary or not to buy insurance for myself. It will be very expensive and I do not want to pay for it but I will If i have to. Do I have to get my own insurance for the car or not? If I dont buy insurance and I drive the corolla and get pulled over, am I okay or will I have problems?""

What makes car insurance cheaper for young drivers?

I know it's to do with the car. Sometimes engine size and security features and the year it was made. So what other thing and what cars fit into cheap insurance

16 yr old car insurance?

I'm about to turn 16, and about to get a car (Volvo cross country) I will have another 2 main drivers on the account. How much will it be in a roundabout? Also I will be 16^ I have a completely clean record C average And a male""

Cheapest California Auto Insurance?

Any One Can Tell Me The Cheapest California Auto Insurance

Question about car insurance.?

So I have a question, If I use my fathers car would he have to register his insurance on my name also? Or will it not matter since the cars registered in his name? Just in case anything happened. Just wondering.""

Why Is my car insurance so expensive?

I'm just trying to find a good quote for the renewal of my car insurance, due in November 10. The cheapest I can get for a THIRD PARTY FIRE & THEFT only is 800!!!! for the following circumstances: Driver: male 32 yo, EU national living in the UK since 2003.Home owner. No convictions or anything like that. Full UK licence that I got converted in 2005, though I had held a full EU licence for 9 years before that. In full employment. The car: 1998 R reg For Fiesta LX 1.8 Diesel. 3 doors hatchback. Kept in a secure (bollards) street at home during the night and in the company's hyper secure car park during the day. Miles per year: up to 9000. With factory fitted immobiliser plus a anti theft wheel lock. The postcode is not the best, but it can't be the reason for it being so expensive, because my neighbours pay something ridiculous, like 30 or 40 per month for a fully comp policy, and also, because it's not a fully comp policy that I'm after and the car is so cheap (600) that it wouldn't make sense. I'm even ready to go for a third party only, but it turns out even more expensive in the searches... I've even tried with other cars with smaller engines thinking that maybe replacing the car would help... I'm really confused, and that famous website is not helping at all. Hopefully somebody can shed some light on where the problem is. It'd be so very much appreciated...""

AAA car insurance wont return my phone calls?

i was in a car accident on the fourth of july and the guy ran a red. he hit my car and totaled it leaving me injured and now out of work for almost a month. the police report was sent to both insurances (mine & his) saying he is at fault. i and my insurance (state farm) have tried calling his AAA agent several times and they still have not called back. i have also called the supervisor with no returned phone call from her as well. ive asked my insurance and they basically told me to wait for them to call. im getting impatient and i was just wondering if anybody else has ever had this problem? im frustrated and not sure what to do.

Can i pay for my car insurance weekly?

i am 20 years old and im finding it hard to get insured. is it possible for me to get insurance for a week and only use the car on the weeks that i insure it? it would work out cheaper for me that way because i would only pay insurance on the weeks i need the car... thanks

Auto Insurance Question?

Hi all, I live in California and I got in a car accident yesterday. I found out today that the insurance company suspended our insurance due to a late payment so we most likely had no coverage at the time of the accident. What are my options at this point?? The accident was not my fault and the other driver was arrested for felony DUI and they had insurance. What are my options?? Thanks in advance!""

I hit another car and I have no insurance?

My boyfriend just gave me his old car as a gift, I planned on getting insurance to it the moment I put it under my name, but I was driving today and I rear ended another car. I was placed in police car as they did some investigation. The other police officer found out that the other car was a rental and that they had Avis insurance. I kept asking the police officer when do I find out about making payments to the other car. He gave me a ticket and said there will be no payments for the other car. Me and and the other car never exchanged any information. This is my first accident, I am a little confused. Am I suppose to get sued. And what is the likelihood that that the other car's insurance would charge me 10k or more for the accident? I want an idea so I can start saving money and trying to make payments now. Is there a way I can start making payments without having to go to court to get sued.""

USAA car insurance vs. Geico?

My husband is in the army, and he has been using USAA car insurance, and I have been using Geico. I am putting them both on one plan, and Geico is $300 cheaper a year than USAA. But does anyone have any experience of which one is better? He really wants to keep USAA, but I want to save $$ with Geico. I'm just mostly wondering if USAA is worth the extra money. Any help would be appreicated! Thanks! :)""

So my father has car insurace in Spring Valley , Ny which causes his insurance to be cheap...?

He wants to add me as a driver and Im 19 yrs old. I live in Brooklyn. Me and him have two complete different addresess. When he adds me should I give them my brooklyn address or it doesnt matter. Note that I dont want the different address the increase his insurance

Where can i find cheap car insurance for over 25's first time buyers?

Where can i find cheap car insurance for over 25's first time buyers?

""How much does homeowners insurance cost for a 250,000 house?""

How much does homeowners insurance cost for a 250,000 house?""

USAA insurance for motorcycles?

Does anyone know what motorcycle insurance through USAA would cost for a female beginner between the ages of 18-24? first bike (let's say a Buell Blast, if the type of motorcycle matters), never had any accidents or speeding tickets, and passed all the safety courses, etc. I'd look it up myself, but for some reason the website isn't letting me look at the motorcycle section right now. Thanks in advance.""

Will getting a speeding ticket increase my insurance rates?

I am 17 with my G2 on my parents State Farm Insurance Policy, but will be taken off in 5 months when I move out to university. I got a speeding ticket (65 in a 50) and no points with it...will they find out if I just mail the check myself?""

How much would car insurance be for a 1999 eclipse gs?

what would i be paying if i got a normal full coverage on this eclipse? and please no go to this link and get a free quote just give me an estimate, thanks""

Cheapest Car Insurance Nineteen Year Old?

So im nineteen and am hoping to pass my test friday, i have been looking on comparison websites and cant find any quotes for a low litre car under lets say 2500. I was just wondering if anyone out there knows of any specific insurers which could offer a much better deal, i would be very very grateful""

How much lesser is car insurance every 6 months ?

I pay car insurance every month. ON AVERAGE do you think I would pay less every 6 months?

""Visiting CA, do I need to get auto insurance?""

I have an IL driver's license but no auto insurance. I am planning to visit family in CA. Is it legal for me to drive my mom's car without having auto insurance? If not, where can I get short term (2-day) auto insurance?""

Insurance or out-of-pocket?

The bumber and trunk of my new 2006 Honda Civic was hit by someone unknown when my car was parked in a lot. The damage is a sizeable dent. How much will it cost for a repair in the dealership? Is it better to pay it myself or let the insurance do it (worry about increasing insurance rate). Any other ideas will help? Thanks

Can you get your drivers licence if your car's insurance is not in effect?

so i'm getting my licence and my car's insurance doesnt go into effect till the 20th and i get my licence before then. can i use the car even though its not in effect yet. i have an insurance card. i live in georgia btw

Auto insurance for son ?

Is my son automatically covered under our auto insurance now that he has a Driver's license ? If I call the insurance company won't they charge me some ridiculous amount of money for a 16 year old ?

I have a question about health insurance?

I have a 4 year old daughter,I have joint legal custody,my daughter has health insurance with her mother,is possible to have a secondary health insurance?""

Health insurance quote?

Where can I get a free health insurance online quote? Hi Everyone- This is my first time on Yahoo Answers! I'm looking for a place where I can get an online free health insurance quote. I'm always skeptical everything out there is a scam. Thanks for your help!

Health Insurance Cost?

Health Insurance through my employee for me and my two sons will cost me about $480.00 per month. That's a lot compare to what I make. Any suggestions or referrals for affordable health insurance for the Dallas/Forth Worth area in Texas. I'm in a big dilema.

What if im 18 and want to pay for my own auto insurance?

I'm thinking about moving out of my house cause it sucks. I'd have to buy my own car and I'm thinking an older civic, cause they're reliable. Anyone got any ideas on what a good but cheap way to insure would be?""

Where can i get affordable health insurance?

I live in iowa.. Where are some places i can get some affordable (cheap) health insurance? Thanks!

How much does car insurance lower when you turn 21?

I have insurance with Farm Bureau, and I have a completely clean record. I hear insurance lowers when you turn 21, anyone know about how much? I pay about 600 a quarter..""

Can I get car insurance without a valid driver's license in the state of Delaware?

1. My License was suspended due to an ERROR that involves the Division of Child Support Enforcement... 2. My Ex-Husband said he will pay for my car insurance if I transfer the car title & registration into my name (knowing that my license is temporarily suspended). 3. * My Ex is a Wilmington Police Officer in the state of Delaware. * 4. I believe my Ex knows that I will not be able to get car insurance (due to the fact that he is a Police Officer), therefore, that is why he is willing to pay for it. 5. Any help will be greatly appreciated!... Thank You!!!""

Average Motorcycle insurance?

thinking about getting one. best route take as far as insurance, bikers course, type of bike. its my first bike.""

Medicaid insurance with another insurance?

I was wondering what the qualifications are for Medicaid. Specifically, I have UBH insurance...since I have insurance already, would I still qualify for Medicaid? I am 19 years old and live on my own now.""

Who are good for cheap insurance without any no claims?

previous vehicle was mobility and insurance was not in my name so I have no no claims

Can my mom insure my car if her name isn't on the title?

Right now I am driving a car my mom bought so only she is on the title and she insures it. I just bought a new one and was wondering if I put the title of the car in my name, can she insure it under her name. I just turned 19 and if I got a policy by myself in my own name I would have to pay more than twice as much as I do now (I give my mom the money for insurance its just under her name).""

Where can i buy cheap but good health insurance under $120 dollars?

I am young and very healthy, and rarely have to be seen by a doctor. So besides not being wealthy, i want to find a cheap, but good health insurance...""

What is the yearly insurance rates for a street bike/rice rocket?

What is the yearly insurance rates for a street bike/rice rocket?

How much will my insurance cost?

If i was 18yr old with a 92' 240sx with clean driving records how much would my insurance cost? any estimation? how about 17 then?

So my father has car insurace in Spring Valley , Ny which causes his insurance to be cheap...?

He wants to add me as a driver and Im 19 yrs old. I live in Brooklyn. Me and him have two complete different addresess. When he adds me should I give them my brooklyn address or it doesnt matter. Note that I dont want the different address the increase his insurance

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-much-do-you-pay-car-insurance-aliza-hausauer"

[swampgallows]

ughhh hahahaha you ever just wake up in th e middle of the fuckin night completely detached from and repulsed by your current Self?

hahahah i really have to get off this fucking website i dont know what the fuck ijm doing with my life and i dont know what im suppoesd to do and i dont think ive ever been at a point where i wasnt just living in order to maintain a fantasy, like, im constantly in fantasy land and i dont know what im supposed to do on this planet

i remember going through the hotel after getting off the bus and marching through the backlot andn i felt so powerful because id get a smoothie for breakfast ahahah, i felt so important consuming FRUIT

i havent been anywhere in a while, been home for a solid month except the hospital i guess since i got back from NL. do not know where to go. do not know what to do. warcraft feels like my only lifeline and typing it right now i feel like i just hit a breaking point and have been cut off. like i can feel them all upset with me, disappointedin me, sad to see me go, and mysef just accepting it with a self-loathing resignation. everything im doing feels sueprficial and useless, and deep in my heart i know it is. but i dont live for anything else. i dont know how else to live. i dont knw what to do

i didn t think i could get this far. i feel like ive stayed after the credits. could you imagine the characters in a movie telling you to go home? it’s the easter egg at the end of ferris buller but over an hour long, months long, years long, all of them worked up into a frenzy now barking at you about missing the entire fucking point, go outside you idiot, make somethign of yourself

i do not have a place to go home to. im just wandering and carried on winds like dandelion spores.psychologically anyway. my body is here like a moss covered statue just embalming itself in my own sweat and self-hatred, fastening me to my prison to fester. 

i want to go to therapy so i can figuer out how to live in this world. how i can figure out how i am capable of living int his world. i feel so rejected by it at all turns. and mostly i feel just... so goddamn tired. so big. so out of sorts. i was telling sweet golden boy john that i feel like i can onnly go outside at night because i feel hidden, i feel like ti’s the only time that’s ‘safe’ where i wont be exposed to some kind of poison gas of society or soemthign. like the sun is going to burn me up if i step outside. yet i know that the best thing for me would be to get the fuck out of here because i know i can actually do things wonce i leave. but i have such a hardened carapace of fear that i feel Exposed once i leave. so inside i feel like i am inhaling black mold but outside i feel stripped bare of my skin with my raw nerve endings open to the elements.

my teeth are rotting in my fucking mouth and they hurt like hell. i cant do anything until my medical is approved. i need a new dentist. she fucked up everything. im tired of being afraid of brushing my teeth for fear of breaking off the bondings. bondings are supposed to last ten years. hers have fallen off three times, one of which fell off in 2 days. and the crown she gave me is still fucked up. i need to do research on a good water pick to invest in so i can ttake care of my teeth more gently. stupid fucking soft-ass teeth.

i do not know how to live in this world. i dont want to get married and have babies. i feel like anybody i marry will just end up taking care of me. i was doing dishes and imagined myself reservd to being a ‘housewife’, doing chores etc while some imaginary husband was away at the business factory all day. 

i had a glimpse of a life i could maybe live when i was in college. but its because i was never anywhere too long. i was just raving, uprooted over and over, thank god, transplanted every week somewhere else. buti know i couldnt sustain that life either. i cant sustain a life no matter what

i keep feeling like im back in college. but iw as a ghost there and im a ghost here. i see myself on the jetty looking at the crab. one of my only mindful moments. “this is your home. you live here. we’re visiting you.” i saw him in his natural environment. a wild animal.

what do i do with this flesh

#blathering