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irndad · 9 months

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Hi hun! I just love love love your pieces <3

As for Carmy prompts - could we have some hurt to comfort when Carmen doesn't show up for a date? It's ok if you dont wanna do it or i requested incorrectly, but if you do, i cant wait to read!!!!! Thank you so much mwah mwah mwah

I’m not thaaaaaat sure how I feel about this and it’s so long but your request was so sweet I had to!!! Ily <3333

wc:1.1k

There’s so fucking much in his ear. Fak’s screaming whatever bullshit he’s sure will help absolutely nothing, Richie’s harassing Sydney and Tina’s trying to keep them all in line and will of that goddamn chaos, he shouldn’t be able to make out anything.

Prepping this whole thing, the opening, Richie biting his head off for fucking sending him to the best kitchen in the city- it’s all a bit fucking much.

He barely hears the door open (she has a key, because of course she does) and he doesn’t even look over his shoulder as he calls out her name.

“Hey, baby,” he yells back towards the entrance. It feels good, chopping the vegetables. It’s actually one of her favorite dishes that he’s making, and something inside him preens that he gets to feed her tonight. Everything feels illustrious under her gaze. He remembers the first time he’d cooked for her, how her watchful gaze felt a bit like sunlight; equal parts burning and doused in light.

She’d said she liked his hands, then. Said he looked pretty with a knife and a cutting board. “Will you try this sauce for me?”

He hears her heels click, the soft thud of her purse landing on the couch. It’s a slow saunter she does to him, but he’s razor focused- what does it need, garlic? Oregano?

It only breaks when he sees her. And she looks gorgeous. Wearing a black dress with a cowl neck, shimmery eyeshadow that catches and dances in the low light of the kitchen, a crimson lipstick neatly applied to her beautiful pout.

She smells like vanilla, and Carmen has the privilege of knowing what real, rich, Madagascar vanilla smells like. He’d loved the scent so much that he’d bought her a perfume made from it, and there’s a warmth blooming in his chest when he realizes that she’s wearing it.

Wordlessly, she opens her mouth and leans forward to try the sauce covered wooden spoon he’d raised to her lips.

Even when she’s in front of him, he can’t believe she’s someone he knows. That she’s wasting her time with someone like him.

“Jesus Christ you look beautiful,” he says without thinking, and he kisses her quick. It’s true. She’s a vision, plucked out of an old movie shot on grainy film, warm to the touch film.

He abandons the spoon and the sauce without much fanfare, a rough, calloused hand meeting her soft warm cheek.

“Thanks, Carmen.” she says, but her doe-eyes deny the joy she typically exudes in his presence. It’s his proudest achievement, how she glows around him. She’s tight lipped, smile betraying her words.

“What’s wrong? Is it the sauce? I know it’s a mess in here, I’m sorry, I didn’t think you’d see it-“

“No! No, seriously, it’s okay, honey.” She tries to insist but it really doesn’t work. He moves the pot off the burner and twists himself completely to face her, placing a gentle hand at the small of her back, pulling her closer to him. He tries not to let it sting, how she stiffens for a moment before softening again.

“What happened?” He asks again.

“It’s the first,” she says, a rueful grin on her pretty lips, before gesturing down at her outfit, and oh.

The dinner. The fucking dinner that he’d promised her. His sweet girl, who waited up every night, who dutifully tasted every recipe, who soothed him on nights where nightmares stole his sleep-

“Fuck,” he says, more to himself than her, but god, he can’t stop looking at her, “Fuck! God, I’m such an asshole, I’m so sorry-“ he insists, suddenly so grateful that she’s letting him touch her, even more aware of every point of contact with the sudden fear that it could escape in a moment’s notice.

“Y’know, Carm, if you could’ve just told me that would’ve been one thing? But I left the reservation, and this was the one night we both had off!”

“I know, baby, fuck, I forgot-“

She backs away from him, and there’s a sick feeling in his stomach. Sitting on the chair he keeps by the stove (he put it there for her, because she loved watching him) she pinches the bridge of her nose.

“It’s just not fair, Carm. To either of us. If you don’t have time for this-“

“I have time for this! I have time. Don’t say things like that.”

“Carmy, I’m not trying to hurt you. You know that’s the last thing I want.”

And it is. It’s the last thing she wants, and Carmen fucking knows it. Knows that three months in he’s supposed to have brought her flowers and taken her out and done more than cook for her and spend hours in his shitty apartment, and lately she’s been asking if he has time for being in a relationship.

And maybe he doesn’t, but fuck it if he doesn’t feel like he can breathe around her. This was the point of the dinner- take her out, be a boyfriend. Have her wait a little while on him. Show her he’s worth it.

Instead he fucking missed it, stayed home and made sauce no one would even eat.

“I’m sorry,” he says, grabbing her hand and lacing it through his own. It always shocks him, how it fits his own. “Okay? I’m so, so fuckin’ sorry. Tell me what I can do. Tell me, cos I’ll do just about fuckin’ anything to get you to stop saying shit like that.”

Her voice comes out small.

“I was alone, Carm. They kept trying to take my order and you weren’t there, and eventually I had to leave.“

She looks up at him, eyes sparkling and kind and Carmen. She looks beautiful, and if he wasn’t with her, he’d see her in the street and hate whatever fuck was lucky enough to be who she got dressed up for.

“I am so, so sorry. It’s just with the stove, and Fak, and Richie fucking calling me to bitch me out every thirty seconds,” she reaches her delicate fingers to brush his cheek with concern, “I should’ve remembered. It’s just about the only thing this week worth remembering. And you look…stunning, I should’ve been there. I should’ve. Please.”

Her expression softens and he loves the sight of her, warm and kind and lovely in both form and temperance. She’s so patient with him, responds with kindness- a gift.

She brushes her soft lips on his cheek and he tries to savor the sensation, note how warm and wonderful it is to have her form pressed against his, how her arms knot themselves around his waist.

“I know you’re stressed, babe,” she murmurs against his cheek, eyes shut, “tell you what. Why don’t you make me something better than what that place could’ve, huh?”

After he kisses her for so long that excess is no longer the right terminology, he makes her the best pasta she’s ever had in her goddamn life.

It’s better this way, anyway. She’s gorgeous in a way that’s just his to look at tonight.

#carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto fluff #carmy berzatto fluff #carmen berzatto fic #carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x reader #carmy x reader #carmen berzatto x You #carmy berzatto imagine #carmen berzatto imagine #the bear #the bear x reader

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evie-sturns · 14 days

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needed this - Matt Sturniolo

summary: after a month-long business trip, you finally return home to your boyfriend matt. you find out he hasn't came since you left, obviously you have to help him.

warnings: smut, very sub!matt, overstimulating, swearing.

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i've been away with work for just over a month, meaning matt's had the house to himself, i'm finally arriving home this evening.

7:54pm

i twist the key into the white door, pushing it open. the scent i'm so used to filling my nose. "matt!" i call out, placing my bag down by the front door and bending over to unstrap my heels.

"i missed you." he says with a grin, speed walking up to me and wrapping his arms around me. i bury my face into his chest, "how was it?" he asks with a wide smile.

"it was good! how was the empty house?" i say, grabbing matts hand and dragging him upstairs.

"lonley as shit without chris and matt aswell, they've been filming with other creators for ages." matt says with a sigh as we walk into our shared bedroom.

"oh yeah, i saw that tara and shit meetup with them" i say, pulling my minidress off over my head.

i can feel matts eyes laying on me as i scavenge through our closet for anything comfier to wear, giving i've been in dresses for 5 weeks straight.

matt clears his throat, "movie?"

i nod, "yeah, yeah just pick whatever you want sweetheart."

matt flicks on the tv at the end of our bed, i unclasp my bra, letting it fall to my feet. i grab one one matts shirt, pulling it down past my head,

i jump into bed beside matt, my leg resting across his waist and lap as i cuddle to his side. the netflix intro blares through the room

"jesus christ!!" i laugh, grabbing the remote and turning down the volume. "my bad." matt says with a smile, shaking his head and pulling up the white fuzzy blanket over us.

8:23pm

i shift the leg which is laying across him, i feel matt grow tense under me, "you okay?" i whisper, looking up at him. "yeah- no yeah- yeah no i'm good." matt stammers, i laugh slightly,

"matt whats wrong?" i say with a giggle, "no- no yeah, shit i'm fine." he says again, his cheeks a deep red as he fidgets with his rings.

"matt." i say with a serious tone. "stop!- i'm fine!" he says, getting worked up.

i sit up in bed abrubtly, the blanket falling off my body, i look down at matts crotch,

hes hard.

he yanks the blanket up over his lap, i pull it back down and straddle his thighs, staring into his eyes. "why are you hard?" i ask quietly, "i'm not!" he instantly replies, his eyes drifting away from mine.

i palm him through his sweatpants, squeezing lightly, he lets out a breathless groan. "so.. what was that?" i tease him,

"i dont know? just your leg moving.." matt says, rubbing his eyes with his fists,

"you got hard from my leg?" i laugh slightly, he nods.

"thats okay." i assure him, reaching for his waistband and toying with it, his breathing intensifies quickly, "why are you so sensitive?" i ask, "just been different since you left a month ago" matt says quietly

"different like how?" i push,

"haven't- you know.." he sighs, "i don't know actually." i reply cheekily.

he doesn't reply, his eyes fixed on my hand which is resting just under his waistband. "tell me the last time you touched yourself" i say, matt goes redder somehow.

"month ago." he says, barely audible "thats okay." i say, tugging his waistband down. "please.." matt whines slightly, "i know." i say, pulling his waistband down to his mid-thighs.

"you want this?" i ask, lifting my self off his thighs to pull my panties off, "jesus, obviously." he says, i shoot him a 'watch your tone' look and he instantly goes quiet.

i sit up, hovering myself above matts tip, which is now red. his hands stay by his sides, i'm 95% sure his brain is so fogged he doesn;t know what to do with them anymore.

i grab his cold hands, placing them on my waist. i stay sitting above his tip for a few more seconds, its tempting to see how worked up i can get matt. he trys to guide me down, but i resist.

"please." he says, "matthew, stop whining and tell me what the fuck you want." i say, "please, you know what i want" matt says shyly, i stay still, waiting for him to practically beg.

"ride me, please?" he breathes out, i can see his stomach jolting up and down from his desperate breaths underneath his white sweater.

i nod, moving my hair to one side and slowly sinking onto matt, he squeezes his eyes shut, his hands dropping from my waist and balling up the white fuzzy blanket. i slowly take more of his length before bottoming out, sitting comfortably on his dick as matt lets out small whimpers

"you alright?" i ask, grabbing his hand which is squeezing the sheets.

he nods his head, "look at me, matt." i say, he opens his eyes, letting in small breaths. "calm. down." i say, he nods again as his top teeth sink into his pink bottom lip.

i slowly start to bounce on him, his eyes stay fixed on me as i quicken my pace. i throw my head back as i balance my hands on his thighs behind me.

"close- really close." matt squeezes out, "no, not yet matt." i tell him.

"i can't, oh my fuck-" he whines, his grip on my waist tightening, the cold metal of his rings pressing against the warmth of my skin.

"you can, and will." i say, placing a hand on his stomach to balance myself as i continue to ride him. he lets out soft groans as he throws his head back into the pillows, his hair flopping.

"your okay, your doing so well." i say with a small moan as I repeatedly hit my g-spot.

suddenly i feel matt release, coating my insides. matt rubs his eyes "did i tell you you could do that?" i say, looking into matts eyes.

"im sorry, shit- i'm so sorry." he rambles, instead of pulling off him, i chase my own orgasm. he groans from overstimulation, "too much, sensitive-" he says,

"is it my fault you came early?" i say as i sit down on his cock, rubbing my clit against his pelvic bone.

he shakes his head, somewhat arching his back off the bed as his hands dig into my waist. i let my head falll foward as i look down at matts hands,

"fuck it hurts." matt says,

we have an established safe word, he knows he can use it whenever he needs, but he's not.

"you want me to stop?" i ask, he pauses for a moment before letting out a breathless "no. fuck please dont-"

i continue to bounce on his length, i feel the pit in my stomach growing as my cheeks flush, matt has mutiple tears falling down his cheeks.

"i think i'm close-" matt says, my eyebrows twist with a small laugh "again?" i question, "yeah- shit." matt groans .

i clench around him, i think thats enough for matt to finish. the knot in my stomach snaps as i feel matt finish again. i collapse down onto matts chest as i attempt to catch my breath, he reaches down and pulls out of me with a wince.

"you okay? did i hurt you?" i say as i rest my face on matts shoulder.

"yeah- no im fine, needed that a lot." he says, his fingers tracing mindless shapes on my back.

after a handful of minutes i sit up on matts lower stomach before lifting myself off him, stepping down onto the plush of our carpet. "c'mon, lets get you cleaned up." i say, wiping matts face with one hand, matt stays still on the bed.

"matt? stand up" i say, matt has a small smile on his face, he wipes his eyes before starting.

"i cant.. stand."

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#nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #sturniolo #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #sturniolo smut #sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x reader #sturniolo fanfic #matthew sturniolo #m

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sukunasweetheart · 2 months

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Watching angsty romance films with sukuna while youre sick... biggest mistake he ever made bc hes sitting there like: 😐

while youre dramatically sobbing: 🥹😭🥺EEUEEEE 😢🥹WEEHHHHH 😭😭😭😭

Youre more emotionally vulnerable when youre sick so you start crying at every little thing, becoming a sniffling mess, especially at tearjerker films

Actually, he prefers when you cry like this, rather than your silent crying. He doesn't like you hiding things from him. Also, its funnier when youre upset in a silly way. It strikes a nerve in his chest when you're actually upset.

Imagine you plead him to feed the soup or porridge he makes for you (please? 🥺) and he does it reluctantly, even blowing on the spoon to cool it down before giving it to you. You giggle after every spoonful and he tells you to be quiet, else he's going to make you eat it yourself.

And youre awfully clingy with him, more than usual, asking to hold hands and asking him where he's going every time he stands up. "i'm just going to take a piss, jesus. Stay put."

And after he comes back, he finds you napping, having fallen into a deep sleep. Probably from the drowsy medications. Then he will freely check your temperature and change the cloth on your forehead while you're not watching him.

once you wake up again, its back to sad films. sukuna doesn't understand why you're doing this to yourself but he's not gonna put in effort to stop you if that's what you really want... the film you watch with him ends with the male lead dying, leaving his girlfriend behind...

"babe 🥹"

"what?"

"i'll never date someone else even if you die first..."

"you don't need to worry about that. i ain't dying."

"babeeee 🥹 dont die, okay?"

"i'm not dying! 💢"

you're the sick one here!! and then he demands that you go to sleep now, since youll just dehydrate yourself by exhausting your tear ducts but you say you can't yet bc youre not sleepy...

the rest of the day ends with you just doing your own thing, playing games or whatever, and him scrolling on his phone beside you until you feel tired enough

#sukuna x reader #jjk x reader #sukuna #sukuna x y/n #sukuna x you #ryomen sukuna x reader #soft sukuna #this is self indulgent as well bc im sickkk as fuck right now omg #someone get me out of this hell :( but its comforting to think abt sukuna

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cinnamostar · 3 months

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four dates to fall in love

part one. part two. part three. part four (here). part five (coming soon).

pairing : hyunjin x gn!reader

summary : after a two year long unspoken hatred, hyunjin and you are forced to be costars in a romantic series, but when it comes to filming any of the romance scenes, you both utterly fail and are unable to get through your lines. the director threatens to take your roles away if you two aren't able to get past this within the next week, which spawns the genius idea from both your managers: can you learn to (fake) fall in love in seven dates and save your careers?

wc : 2.7k

cw : actor!au, enemies to lovers ?!, slowburn , not proofread, blood/knife ments (no injury, theyre just cooking lol), emotional vulnerability

a/n : welcome to part four. the slow burn is absolutely slowburning. things are happening. i dont have much to say other than it being hard for me to write, but pls let me know what you think!!!!!! likes and reblogs appreciated!

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“It went well?” Chan exclaimed in shock over your speakerphone.

You hum in agreement, confusion in the forefront of your mind, “Surprisingly, it went better than I could have ever imagined,” a sigh escapes you, “I don’t know, it’s weird.”

“Well, the fact he even apologized caught me off guard in the first place.”

You laugh lightly, “Oh, trust me, I still am having a hard time believing it. It’s been so long of him being an asshole to me, so seeing him like this was… very different. A little scary, if I’m being honest.”

“Yet it still went well even though it was kinda weird?”

“I mean, it was really awkward at the start which was annoying, but I can’t blame him. He genuinely did look like he felt bad, so it probably was hard to be in his position,” you think aloud, “But it was getting too much and he was putting a damper on the mood, so I tried to make him more comfortable, which worked. Then we started talking, and I don’t really know how to say it, but it felt… really nice? It made me realize that maybe I did miss our friendship.”

“Well, you guys did get along really well before everything happened. To be honest, I thought there was something more going on before then,” Chan recalls, “Though, his sudden change made me realize I was way off.”

Your eyebrows furrow at Chan’s comment, “Something more? Like romantic?”

He chuckles from the other end of the line, “Yeah, I thought something was going on between you two. You guys just seemed to click really well, better than any other costar you’ve had in the past, even to this day. Lowkey thought it was going to be a Tom Holland and Zendaya moment.”

“Jesus,” you mutter, “Definitely not that, I never thought of him that way.”

“You say that, but I remember the heart eyes you used to look at him with,” he teases.

“Oh, shut up. I did not. Besides, that’s not what’s important in the present time!”

He rolls his eyes, even though you couldn’t see it, you could feel it in his tone, “Yeah, yeah, whatever you say. You’re right though, it is a difficult situation for both of you to be in. Other than it being uncomfortable, how are you feeling about it?”

You let out a heavy sigh, “I mean, part of me is happy to be able to have a normal relationship with him, but… I’m still really mad at him for how he treated me. I don’t think it’s something I can let go of yet.”

“That’s okay. You have time to process all of that, no one is rushing you.”

“I know, but for a moment yesterday, I kinda forgot about all that. I had fun with him, and I want to keep having fun, but then I remember everything and feel so… upset that I am even letting him back into my life, even if it's for a bit.”

“Huh…” Chan muddles over your words for a moment, “That is quite the dilemma. I think you have every right to be upset at him, but I also think it’s okay if you miss your friend. I just think you have to figure out what kind of boundaries you want to set for yourself then. I think you can still have a nice time with him without him earning your forgiveness just yet. He can be a surface level friend or acquaintance until he proves himself trustworthy again.”

“You’re right, but I just didn’t like how easily it slipped my mind. Part of me feels like I should still be more on guard and not as friendly, but he makes that hard too.”

“Y/N, it’ll be okay,” he reassures, “You’ll figure it out, but it’s perfectly fine for you to have fun, while still having boundaries, okay?”

You sigh, still a bit unconvinced by his words, “I guess…”

“I know it’s hard, I can’t imagine what it's like to be in your position, but I promise it will be okay.”

“I’ll believe you just this once!”

“You say that every time, but sure, just this once. Call you tomorrow, alright?”

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It was the next evening, and you were anxiously waiting in your apartment for Hyunjin to arrive. You weren’t sure how today was going to go, and the idea Changbin had for you both today made you nervous, as it felt as a far more intimate setting than the previous dates. Although, you couldn’t entirely argue with his logic. Today, he suggested that you both cooked a simple dinner with each other, the idea being that it would help you both learn how to work together towards a common goal, which was dinner in this case.

Despite you being able to understand the logic behind his idea, it was incredibly intimidating to think about having Hyunjin in your own home, especially considering the sudden change in dynamic in your relationship. Even then, you didn’t just let anyone into your home, as you only ever had your closest friends come over for small hang outs, so this was far outside of your comfort zone, but perhaps that was a good thing. Maybe going out of your comfort zone with Hyunjin would only help you both succeed the next time you found yourselves on set, and perhaps something as intimate as cooking together would help you both ease into your roles.

A knock on the door wakes you from your thoughts, prompting you to shuffle hurriedly towards the door to open it for none other than Hyunjin. He greets you with a gentle smile, bowing his head slightly as you let him in wordlessly. There is an awkwardness that hangs in the atmosphere, indicating that you both were uncomfortable with today’s plans and he, too, was likely struggling to find the right words to say.

You take a deep breath in, almost as if you were catching your breath, “Welcome to my place!” You cringe internally at yourself, unable to handle the intensity of the awkwardness between you two and how poor your attempt was to disperse it.

“It’s really nice!” he compliments, standing in place by the entrance after removing his shoes.

“Thank you,” you respond, “Uhm, just follow me, the kitchen is this way. And all the ingredients are ready for us to use, Changbin had them delivered.”

Hyunjin follows you into the kitchen, his eyes taking in every detail around him, filling him with delight to see how characteristic of you the apartment was, it being a perfect representation of your personality. “What are we making again? I don’t think Changbin filled me in.”

“Oh, we’re just making curry udon! It’s something I’ve made before and it’s not too hard. My bad, I didn’t tell Changbin what we were making which is probably why he didn’t tell you. All I did was send him an ingredient list.”

“I forgot you like cooking,” he replies as he stops in your kitchen, quickly turning to the sink to wash his hands.

You hum in response, washing your hands after him, “I think it can be relaxing, but uh, if you want you can start with chopping the carrots and potatoes? I’ll handle the onion and garlic.” Hyunjin nods and follows your orders without much trouble, or so you think, until you turn around and see him holding the knife in a very precarious and questionable manner. Your eyes widen as you rush towards, “Oh my god, that is not how you should be trying to cut a potato. Have you not chopped a veggie in your entire life?”

He smiles sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders, “Listen, I don’t do this cooking thing often,” a gentle chuckle leaving him as he takes amusement in your concern, his heart thumping over the sudden proximity you both now shared.

“I-,” you sigh with a baffled expression, “Okay, let me just show you because I am not having you accidentally bleeding out all over my counter.”

“You’re more worried about your counters than me?”

“Shut up,” you suppress a laugh before softly whispering, “Here, just do it like this,” you reach over and lay your hands atop of his without second thought, guiding him on how to position his hands without the risk of injury. Once you’ve become aware of how your bodies are pressed up against each other from the side, you jump away in an instant, “That’s it! That’s all you gotta do.” You’re quick to avoid eye contact with him, turning towards your own cutting board as you chastise yourself for being so careless with him at that moment.

Hyunjin’s face and ears were soon dusted with a soft pink, heat rushing across his body over the interaction that seemed so natural, but manages to mutter out a quiet ‘thank you’ before trying his knife skills out once more. Despite your momentary embarrassment, you are sure to take sneaky peaks at Hyunjin to make sure he was handling himself well. You move on from chopping and turn your attention to seasoning the chicken while Hyunjin was still focused on the vegetables, going at a leisurely place which you much preferred in this case.

The rest of cooking goes on in silence aside from the occasional instruction or question, small witty jokes, and touches that seemed to linger more than necessary, but perhaps that was your imagination. Once everything was done, you both sat across from each other, admiring the fruits of your shared labor that was now plated in front of you both.

“It looks really good!” Hyunjin comments enthusiastically, a wide, toothy grin spreading across his face.

“It does, right? Let’s eat!”

Neither you miss a beat, taking a huge bite of the udon noodles, letting out a delighted groan over just how flavorful the food was. “Woah,” Hyunjin groans out, surprise at how well tonight had gone thus far with the added victory of food, “Holy shit, this is so yummy.”

“Mhmm,” you mumble out between slurping noodles, “This is better than when I make it on my own.”

“It’s the Hyunjin special that you’ve been missing this whole time,” he says matter-of-factly with a smug smile.

“You’re being pretty bold for a guy who just learned how to hold a knife today,” you tease, playfully sticking your tongue out. Your eyes catch each other for a moment between your fits of giggles, time stopping for the briefest second possible before you both avert your eyes out of nerves. What was that? You thought frantically to yourself, suddenly hyper aware of the strange warmth in your stomach that was also accompanied with the feeling of your stomach dropping. It was an uncomfortable feeling, one you didn’t know how to explain or ever experienced before, but you did know you didn’t want that combination of symptoms again for whatever emotion this was. You clear your throat, taking a sip of water as if it would wash away the discomfort, “I guess we are pretty good, huh? Maybe our acting project has hope if we are able to work this well together,” you joke, a very poor, if not disastrous, attempt to alleviate the awkwardness that seemed to follow you everywhere these days.

Your words stab Hyunjin in the heart, the guilt he had once forgotten was knocking at the door of his heart, forcing itself in without his permission. His entire demeanor deflated the moment those words left your lips, his heart writhing at the reminder that the only reason this situation existed was because of him and his blinding stupidity. Yet, here you are, warmly inviting into your home and treating him as if he was an old friend of the past, as if he had never wounded you and he couldn’t help but wonder if he was deserving of any of this. He stood still, gulping down his food before faintly whispering a hushed apology.

“I’m sorry.”

Your head snaps back up, your eyebrows furrowing with worry once you sense the sadness lacing his trembling voice, his head now turned downwards as if he was trying to mask his state. Perhaps the joke was a little too soon, you thought, now it being your turn to feel bad. “Ah, Hyunjin, I’m sorry-” you apologize hurriedly, “It was just a joke, please don’t take it too seriously. I’m sorry.”

He forces a smile, waving his hand as if to tell you to not worry about it, the words at the forefront of his tongue, but caught in his throat due to the heaviness sinking in his chest. Once again, shame paralyzed his body, the warm sensation behind his eyes reminding him to blink, reminding him he shouldn’t be so selfish in his pain when he was the cause of so much discomfort. Was any of this okay? Was any of this right? He wonders to himself, still unable to find forgiveness within himself.

“Hyunjin,” you speak tenderly, your hand reaching across the table to touch his arm, grounding him back in the present, “I promise, it’s okay.” You knew that last bit was a lie, but it was for his own sake and comfort at this point. His treatment, his behavior, his attitude – none of it was ever okay, but you decided to ignore your own feelings and prioritize his. For the first time in two years, you cared about how he felt, you finally cared how your words harmed him, when before all you ever aimed for was a strike to his heart, but today, you chose to comfort his heart that your words unintentionally wounded. Although, your own heart and conscience briefly argued for a moment, one wanting to tend to his hurt, while the other demanded you let him rot in his misery, insisting he deserved it for what he had put you through. It was a tug-of-war you weren’t enjoying, you had almost wished you two remained in your heated hatred for one another and that nothing ever changed. Despite what your mind screamed at you, you chose to listen to your heart, you chose him over yourself.

He takes a deep breath in, trying to collect himself before speaking, “I just–,” a heavy exhale escapes him, “I’m just sorry. I just feel really, really, really bad for everything, but I also feel like I’m not allowed to feel bad when I was the one to hurt you.”

His eyes met yours, the glassiness of his eyes conveying the depth of his guilt, “Oh, Hyunjin,” you whisper apologetically, “Listen, I won’t lie to you, what you did was shitty. You did hurt me, but that is in the past. You feeling bad about it means you’re a good person, right? It means you’re human and that you care, but I don’t want you to let your guilt overwhelm you either.”

It was a genuine response in a moment of sudden vulnerability, your response taking him aback, but the words temporarily placating his never ending thoughts, “I guess, but… I don’t know if I can forgive myself,” he mumbles.

“You don’t have to yet, but you can learn to eventually,” you reply, “I understand it’s hard, and even I still need more time to do that myself, but I do think you deserve to be kind to yourself.” None of that was a lie, you did truly believe he was deserving of his own compassion, but his culpability helped you see the humanity in him. The spitefulness you once knew him for nowhere to be found, but instead there was only a guilt-ridden man who carried a world of humiliation. “I think I can learn to do so soon, too. Spending time with you helps. Besides, I did miss being friends with you if I’m being honest.”

The last sentence causes him to perk up, a small, satisfied smile playing onto your lips, “Really?” he asks, his ears barely believing your words, but his heart was swelling with hope. His eyes search yours, he can’t help but notice how they glimmer under the soft lowlights of your home, and for some reason, he finds warmth and comfort in them. He knows he can trust you, he knows you are being as candor as possible.

“Really, I mean it.”

“I missed it too.”

“Well, I’ll do my best to learn to trust you again. I’ll learn to forgive you eventually, just for now, it still hurts.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll learn too.”

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

taglist: @kopikokrunch @icouldntcareless22 @kidrauhlschik @hhwangsmoon @lestayzone @vixensss @cupidcures @sleepyxxhead @pinkpunkdynamite @kaiyaba taglist cut off at 20 people :)

#cinnamostar writes #skz imagines #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #skz fanfic #skz scenarios #stray kids hyunjin #stray kids scenarios #stray kids x you #hyunjin x reader #hwang hyunjin x reader #hwang hyunjin fanfic #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin #stray kids #stray kids fanfic #hyunjin fic #hyunjin imagines #skz slowburn

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prettyboyeddiemunson · 2 years

Note

maybe an extension of perv!eddie but: eddie buying one of those kits where you make a plaster mold of your dick, and then fill it with silicone to make like. a dildo that looks just like your dick. i feel like it would be one of those things he gives you on an anniversary or before he leaves to go on a concert tour so you dont miss him too much 🥺

OKAY BUT HEAR ME OUT: THIS WITH P**N STAR!EDDIE

because imagine he gets a mold of that big ass dick and makes a dildo for you? jesus fuck, it would use a lot of silicone, but it would truly be like an exact replica. he gives it to you for your birthday, all wrapped up with a cute little bow, and gifts it in private. he made sure to use silicone of your favorite color, so whatever that is will be the color of the toy. he tells you that he’s gotta go away on a shoot the next day, so you’ll be without him for a little while. he gives you very specific instructions about what to do with that new toy of yours, and delivers them with a cheeky grin.

“i want you to make a film of your own for me, baby. fuck yourself on that massive dick I just gave you, and tape it for me. i want you to be as filthy and disgusting as possible, and show me how needy you are for the real thing.”

you do it for him, too. you watch some of his movies to get you in the mood, and then turn the camera on so that you can start filming. you tease the camera with it at first—swirling your tongue around the tip, deep throating it and making sure the bulge was showing in your throat, and moaning around it, before fucking your tits with it. you rub the head around your nipples, mewling a little as you look at the camera, before getting down to business.

you rub it against your clit, slapping it against your sopping pussy before pushing it inside. you cry out in both pain & pleasure as the dildo stretches your walls, the stinging burn so delicious that you clench instinctively around it. you fuck yourself hard on that thing, making sure to moan like one of the girls in his movies and assuring that the wet, obscene sounds of it turn up on camera. you make eye contact with the camera, face contorted in pleasure as you moan his name & say such filthy, hot things that you know he’s gonna die over. you roll your nipples in your free hand, but can’t do that for long because it takes both hands to fuck yourself on that fucking toy. and when you cum, you squirt all around it and over your hands, shooting it out right in view of the camera. you know he’s gonna go insane over that, and you grin at the thought of it.

then you decide to give him a little bonus. you pull the dildo out, so much cum spilling with it and forming more of a puddle under your ass. you hold the toy to your lips, sitting up so that he will get a better angle, and deep throat the soaked toy with a moan. you wink at the camera, pulling it out when you’re done as a thick bridge of spit connects your lips to the tip.

when he returns from the shoot, you give him the tape; whenever he goes back to his place, you get a phone call. he’s on the other end, moaning filthily into the receiver as he pants, the sounds of him jerking off almost as loud. you can hear your own moans in the background as well, accompanied by your own dirty talk. you feel your pussy throbbing in response to it, knowing exactly what the fuck he’s doing on the other end.

“jesus fuck, that pussy of yours,” he breathes, mewling as he beats off faster. “she’s so goddamn small, compared to that thing. but she’s taking all of it so well, hm?”

“mmm,” you hum, grabbing a pillow and putting it between your legs for something to grind. “the real thing is so much better, though. i can’t feel a toy throbbing inside of me, or filling me up with so much cum that i’m leaking for hours. what do you think of that?”

“fuck, i wanna eat you out after i creampie you,” he says, his voice breathless and raspy with lust. “watching you fucking yourself with it has made me so painfully hard. i don’t think i have enough blood in my brain right now to even form a coherent thought, but i know i would fucking love that.”

“wait until you see the surprise i left for you at the end,” you say, whimpering as you rut against the pillow. “i think you’re gonna love that.”

“oh yeah?” he asks, groaning as he curses under his breath. “can’t wait to see it. i really want that beautiful wet pussy on my face right now while those pretty lips are wrapped around my rock hard dick.”

“why don’t you finish that video and come on over, then?” you ask, smirking into the phone. “don’t cum; save it for me.”

“that’s gonna be difficult,” he says, hissing as he reaches the part of the video where you suck the dildo after you came. you wait for his response with a grin, and then he says: “oh, motherfucker.”

“get over here,” you say, chewing your lip as you stop grinding your pillow. “i’ll make you feel so much better than your hand ever could.”

“i’m on my way. you’re getting fucked so goddamn hard when i get over there, y/n.”

“that’s what i’m counting on.”

#eddie munson #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x fem reader #eddie munson x reader

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hockeyandhrsepwr · 1 year

Text

On the Seas

Charles Leclerc x Yachtie Reader

**I've been watching a lot of Below Deck which is how this came about - Enjoy:)**

Part 2

F1gossip

Is there a new WAG on the horizon? Ferrari driver Charles Leclerc was spotted chatting to a pretty woman on a boat ride, then later on a larger yacht, Monaco Grand Prix weekend. After a little bit of digging, we found that the woman was yntakestheseas. She appears to be based on the south of France/Monaco and the same age as Charles but we can’t quite figure out what she does. Her instagram is full of scenic, party & boat pics. Do we think trust fund baby? Gold Digger?

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Ferrrari4657 y’all are ridiculous. He was spotted with a woman, he must be dating someone. sure jan

F1fan19 You saw one blurry picture & found all of that? Thats such an invasion of privacy but I’m kind of impressed.

Fan58 do you not see the uniform? She clearly works on the boat, it’s not like they were making out of something.

Fan856 god forbid, a single man talking to a pretty woman 🙄

F1083 saying she may be a gold digger is so out of pocket. Maybe she’s just rich and honestly if she is, good for her.

yntakestheseas

yntakestheseas It's the Grand Prix, I never miss the Grand Prix

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Bestfriend1 did Red Bull win?

yntakestheseas you can fuck right off

Bestfriend1 rude

Fans57 thats the same club the driver were in 👀

yntakestheseas along with half of Monaco babes, its not that deep

yntakestheseas

yntakestheseas Yes, I Cannes, finally walk the carpet at the film fest!

📍Cannes film fest

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Bestie finally seeing what its like on the other side

yntakestheseas I don’t like it mom come pick me up

F175 Charles is there, coincidence?

yntakestheseas Pierre, Max and Lando are somewhere here too. That mean I’m fucking them? Hell, Tom Holland is here, maybe I’m

Bestfriend1 You mean to stop there?

yntakestheseas no, I just realized that that might not be the best example because I would fuck him so…

Fan0237 Oh shit 😂

Fan477 She definitely gives off socialite energy, but how have we never seen her before

F1946 she must be new money, seems a bit tacky

yntakestheseas babes the 24 euros in my bank accounts say I’m no money

yntakestheseas

yntakestheseas people jumping to conclusions in my comments

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Fan466 What does this mean!!! bestie3 ooh girl

MaxVerstappen Why you gotta do me like that?

yntakestheseas

yntakestheseas when the captains away, the crew will play

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BoatCapJoe you know I can see this right?

yntakestheseas Sir yes sir, its a joke. We are actually working very very hard right now folding your underwear into roses.

BoatCapJoe youre lucky I like you

Bestie babe…..

yntakestheseas I’m coming to live with you if I get fired

Bestie no youre fucking not, I've seen what C's apartment looks like when youre there

CharlesLeclerc do you ever actually work?

yntakestheseas No, my daddy pays for everything thanks for asking

CarlosSainz55 ew

yntakestheseas what? All I said was my dad pays

CarlosSainz55 You & I both know what you meant

yntakestheseas

yntakestheseas You can call me captain #8 years

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PierreGasly your mental age? Yeah we know

yntakestheseas I think you have me confused with lando

LandoNorris or himself

Bestie only took 8 years

yntakestheseas you know what, at least I did it

Charlesleclerc did what?

yntakestheseas bag someone rich enough to own the boat

CharlesLeclerc that all I’m good for?

Bestie you have a nice car!

yntakestheseas no, you have a decent dick too

PierreGasly 😲

yntakestheseas oh shut it mr 🐶

Charlesleclerc Decent isn't what you were saying yesterday

LandoNorris My EYES MY EYES Jesus guys 🤢

PierreGasly yeah I dont want to know that 🥴

Ferrrarifan3 Things I didnt expect to see today. This comment section

yntakestheseas you should see the group chat

Fan4646 THERES A GROUPCHAT?????

#jjs insta edits #charles leclerc x reader #f1 instagram au #charles leclerc #f1 imagine

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iamnotshazam · 4 months

Text

i saw the LotR films before ever reading the books and i love both. i turn now more to the books than the movies for enjoyment.

but i also feel like the three movies just. fucken. cracked it out of the park with some important things and i had NO idea how good i had it as a little nerd delving into the extended edition dvd extras. if i were a fan in the gritty-obsessed 90's hearing rumors of these movies, i would have expected at best stuff like: B-list acting that occasionally broke through with honest emotions. some skilled costuming and weaponry popping up in important scenes but mostly just knock-off viking opera aesthetic. homebrew DND imagery that made it painfully obvious by contrast which scenes they actually spent money on the set design and dressing.

and WETA and New Line and everyone on this!!! they did NOT accept lower standards cause it was fantasy! everyone else would have. This was genre filmmaking, this would have been perceived at the time as more like How the Grinch Stole Christmas than a Cecil B Demille-level epic movie. And the costuming department, composer, propsmaster and set designer all said "NO" and put their whole pussies behind it!

Jesus Christ the quality in those movies! Ian McKellan has undershirts like Gandalf the White might have! Bernard Hill has realistic quilted padding underlayers all made in the style a Rohirrim tailor and armorer would have made! Minas Tirith has a rat catcher because someone took a doodle and decided that would make sense in the lived reality of a massive city! Movie makers do not usually do this. It is NEVER about what isnt seen or necessary for the shot. You are judged professionally not by if you can cut corners in order to help production and still seem good, but by HOW MUCH.

I cannot blame anyone who worked on the Amazon series in the hands-on creative roles because the results are what they have been trained to do. Blame executives. Blame executives! Of course chainmail is going to be, i dunno, plastic or sewn into the edges of costumes if you dont have the money or time for real chain mail! And because it cannot be overstated how unusual the LotR trilogy filmmaking process must have been. It's like being given an average lower middle class family grocery budget and told to make a fancy Christmas dinner for 20 all by yourself with no help versus having a trained staff, a blank check, and Martha Stewart on retainer. That's not an exaggeration. That's the rhetorical gulf that someone (Valar BLESS them) in the bureaucracy had to wade across to convince execs to buy into the details. The Lord of the Rings movies are WEIRD.

And it shows. Bookfans bitch about the story changes, the balrog wings, the characterization differences. (Denethor was a reasonable person and even outsider Pippin could see he was very admirable to the people of Gondor, which made it sooooo much creepier when he suddenly snapped but i digress) but NEVER about the music. the filming locations. the set designs. the costumes. the props. the things that i really think count the most to help invest people in a different world!

No one ever complains about taking out the scene where Rohan is summoned to Gondor's aid with the Red Arrow, because yeah they could have made it work, they made the importance of other props like Anduríl and, oh yeah, the One Ring very clear, but they had a better idea.

The beacons.

The beacons were not in the book.

Not in the same way, really, because while incredible to think about the narrative style was close third person, and you cannot follow beacons to rhapsodize about them when you're a tired hobbit getting saddle sore crossing national borders with a grumpy old wizard. Pippin sees the Beacons of Gondor at a distance when he's falling asleep and Gandalf tells him they're a mustering signal within Gondor. Which makes sense, really, they require some upkeep and would be awkward for two nations to negotiate how to handle - nevermind. That's it. That's all the beacons are in the text.

Someone adapting the script saw a moment that was ho-hum in the book but realized ! 💡⚡️That would look really great on camera! And it is now routinely listed as one of the most important cinematic moments of anything, ever.

There are so many things I still want to ask Peter Jackson, "Why???" but the original trilogy movies overall? Work. They work and they do more than work, they helped elevate an entire artform that I don't honestly know that much about and oh god i usually dont ramble about them like this im embarassed is this already acknowledged in tumblr tolkien circles? or are we just split into different little fandoms in order to keep the peace?

#tolkien #peter jackson #weta workshop #gondor #rohan #gandalf #pippin #theoden #the lord of the rings #lotr #denethor #the movies . . . is good? the movies is good!!!#jrrt

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sparrow-the-tired-lesbian · 6 months

Text

MY THOUGHTS on Episode Three

Ooooh Victorian era Lokius?

OB MY BABY

B15 MY WIFE

CASEY SWEETHEART

…I really have to pee, but I can’t pause this

Fuck it I’m going to pee

Oooh old timey marvel theme

I really want those Loki trading cards I saw at Target today…

RAVONNA MY BELOVED

I hate her but I love her

MINUTES?!

what is Miss Minutes up to?

Minutes is kinda funny

Timely was a… candlemaker?

OUROBOROS WROTE THAT GUIDEBOOK

why the ominous music? Mid season interesting stuff?

OB!!!

Baby it’s alright you’re doing great you’re so smart I’m so proud of you

I’m so happy that he’s important

Haha memories

Horsey!

Wait

Loki and a horse

Oh no

OMG THEYRE SO CUTE TOGETHER IN THEIR VICTORIAN GETUP

Mobius is so excited about the World’s Fair it’s adorable

Why is the ghost clock haunting the midway what the hell is happening

I would’ve been happier if Loki had enjoyed the Cracker Jack

AWWW HE NOTICED THE POPCORN ON MOBIUS’S CHIN THATS SO CUTE

Uh oh Norse stuff

HA HE AINT EVEN UP THERE

HES SO CUTE WITH HIS BOYFRIEND

Loki do you miss your family

Is it just me or did Ravonna look that lady up and down

You just wanna drink with Loki, Mobius.

Loki looks so anxious

HE GRABBED HIM IM DEAD

is that the loom?

Why is Timely so awkward

Loki looks so scared…

Uh oh

Does this mean that Ouroboros created the loom and Timely stole it?

Timely is so much like me tbh

He’s neurodivergent I can tell

Oh god he’s actually awesome

I wanna put him in my pocket

LOKIUS TOUCHES

why did they touch Ravonna

This is a scam

He’s got a stutter… that’s lovely :)

He’s gonna bolt with the money isn’t he

You don’t wanna do that big man

Uh oh he just poofed him away

This is awkward

Oh he’s chasing him

I’m actually rooting for timely ngl

Why does this feel like an old silent film…

You can call people on the tempads?!

WHY IS SYLVIE HERE

SYLVIE STOP IT

I WOULD ROOT FOR YOU SYLVIE BUT

yeah Loki tell her

Is Ravonna a Lokius hater?

SYLVIE DONT

yeah listen to Loki

But Renslayer didn’t work with the TVA there

Sylvie you poor thing

This is going nowhere just throw someone off the Ferris wheel

Oh this feels like the first finale

OH GOD MINUTES

yeah Syl

A TANDEM BIKE THIS IS AMAZING

is it weird that I kinda ship Renslayer and Timely?

Smooch you idiots!

MINUTES IS KINDA CUTE

VICTOR IS A CUTIE

WE MUST PROTECT HIM AT ALL TIMES

is Miss minutes jealous?

THE WIZARD GENTLEMAN

HIS BUTLER-

that’s not-

I wanna keep Victor in my pocket

KACHOW

LOKI IS NOT SOMEONE YOU WANNA FUCK WITH

*saxaphone music*

HES ACKNOWLEDGING OUROBOROS! IM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW

PAPER FLOWER PAPER FLOWER PAPER FLOWER

MARRY THIS MAN

this makes very little sense but I’m ok with it.

WHO DROPPED HER?!

MINUTES?!?!?!

MISS MINUTES YOU BITCH

I don’t like this version of miss minutes

Miss minutes sounds weird right now. I don’t like the look of it. The sound of it.

That tone of voice

OH GOD THIS IS BAD AGAIN

Does Miss Minutes think she’s HWR’s lover?

WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE

I DONT LIKE THIS AT ALL

WHAT IS HAPPENING IM CONFUSED

WHAT IN THE FRESH HELL

KEVIN YOU HAVE A LOT TO ANSWER FOR

Ravonna please she was being manipulative

MOMMY- SORRY

Von?!

Mobius sweetie

WHAT DID HE DO?!

Loki is about to lose his shit on Ravonna for being mean to his boyfriend

SYLVIE MY BABYGIRL

WAIT DONT DO IT BABYGIRL

Loki don’t you dare be in love

Sylvie stab me instead

Sylvie listen to Victor please

Victor babyboy

Sylvie stop it

OH THAT LOOK OF HURT ON HER FACE

YES BABYGIRL

IF THEY MAKE MOBIUS IN LOVE WITH RAVONNA I SWEAR TO GOD

oh two hot women battling it out in going to

OH GOD THE-

OH JESUS SYLVIE STOP BEING HOT

OH GOD

MINUTES STOP IT

MINUTES NO

WHAT IN THE FRESH HELL WAS THAT?!

#loki season 2 #loki #loki series #lokius #loki laufeyson #mobius #marvel #mobius m mobius #loki odinson #loki x mobius

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flodaya · 2 months

Note

him doing this show is actually better for them than him filming something, he only has to work 2-4 hours per day instead of filming all day and all night lol the only thing is he won't be able to travel for those 3 months but i'm sure she will spend a lot of time in london, why people are acting like this is bad for their relationship is beyond me

why people are even concerned about this is just completely insane to me, like damn they got this figured out and if not they dont, like why are people trying to dictate what someone should or shouldnt do, how their partner should or shouldnt feel etc

and fwif we dont know if Z has anything lined up for this summer, so she might as well spend it in london again like last year lol jesus, these people are so desperate to see them fail for whatever reason, it's getting to a point of damaging their brain

#ask

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vvviktor · 16 days

Text

Once again i am here procrastinating my responsabilities. Spoilers for soft goblin:

I love when they talk about films and shit

Ngl listening to chris' 'give lactose intolerant giants cheese' speech while sitting on the toilet because i ate a yogurt was a really vulnerable moment for me

JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE FUCK

I cant believe chris started reading my question and then it was either cut or he fucking hated it and moved on. In that case im sorry chris i hope you'll forgive me one day.

Dont lie to him!!! He feels so much!!! 😢 it'll break his heart!!!💔💔💔 (and shoot you)

Chris and will every once in a while:

(These are images of old women from Sardinia who mourn random people when paid. Its a tradition that comes from ancient greece.)

(Dont do that.)

The lights are on but no one's home (they're all fighting over who's the real mayor)

#litwtc #life in the world to come #chris dunne #will wood #litwtc shitpost #litwtc reference

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notahorseindisguise · 3 months

Note

you know... they say... they i say i have the best music taste ever, yes, they do say that. they say to me DONALD. i love your taste in movies! its so good, best, best in the world by far! so many good directors, nolan, nolan with that.. BATMAN. the batman movies who doesnt love batman folks? we all love batman folks we love... we love christian bale! batman! we love christian bale we love what he did with american psycho, folks. wall street... we love wall street dont we folks? and didnt he just have the greatest apartment in that movie... great office! hot secretary! if it wasnt him i swear it could be me, i swear... willem dafoe! what a creepy little guy! he's weird, isnt he? whats he up to? green goblin! good as green goblin, very smart, very business smart not as smart as me! if i was in charge of oscorp i would do... i would do an amazing job wouldn't i folks? wouldnt i? you've gotta imagine. you've gotta imagine it'd be great wouldnt it? spider man! i love spider man folks but he'd be no match for me i was the green goblin! and you have- you have martin scorsese saying those movies aren't cinema! sad! newsflash, marty, no one wants three hour films about history anymore! and deniro, look at deniro, isnt he old folks? isnt he old? hes been doing movies forever, isnt he old? and we've got- we've got china doing movies now! japan, japan too! theyve got this thing, ANIME! anime they call it... its great folks its... its animated and its, its beautiful really... MANGA, its anime IN A BOOK folks, you know i, you know i love tv but i love a good book! like the bible, i love the bible folks dont i? jesus! jesus christ wasnt he great? great guy folks, great guy. have a wonderful day, god bless you all, god bless you all... even the HATERS AND LOSERS!!!! even them folks, im so nice arent it? even them... even the haters! and the losers too! many losers, many people are saying this. goodnight folks!

the critics are saying i have the worlds best letterboxd account, theyre saying to me, "Donald, your literary analysis is top notch, always top notch" and i never know what to say back to them, what can i say, its true! i do have the best film analysis in the whole of this great nation, and you know it too, dont deny it, you know my analysis of the shawshank redemption sets me apart from the rest

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welcometojackass2022 · 2 years

Text

What A Jackass Girl Would Be Like (Except She’s as Mean and Gross as the Guys Are)

@gocryaboutitt Sorry for the wait! I’ve formatted this so that it’s a series of little stories/scenarios of different stunts the girl would participate in and what her relationship would be like with the guys. I hope that works for you!

I have a name for the character, but I didn’t want to use it here cuz my account is mainly for reader inserts, so she’s referred to as the female jackass. Also, Crash is a camerawoman character that my friend and I made up, so she gets a couple mentions here.

Based off of this post I made about a female jackass member who’s as nasty and gross and mean and tough as the guys are: https://welcometojackass2022.tumblr.com/post/691606782874976256/dont-get-me-wrong-im-absolutely-obsessed-with

The Terror Taxi Stunt (Before the Reveal):

When it came time for the boys to collect pubic hair to use for Ehren’s beard, the female jackass was the first person to volunteer. She pulled her ratty gym shorts down just enough to expose her pubic hair to the camera, grinning as the rest of the crew roared with laughter. “Gimme the fucking razor, I can handle the hack job on my own.” Bam dutifully handed her the razor and held the collection bowl directly under her crotch. “You wouldn’t happen to have crabs or anything, would you?” She laughed. “Nah, but I’ll tell Ehren I do after he finds out what the beard’s made from.” Bam went to peek inside her gym shorts. “Are you hiding an entire jungle in there? Jesus fucking Christ, the bowl’s nearly full already.” She elbowed him in the gut and snatched the bowl. “Fuck off, Margera, you’ve got a bush too.”

The Terror Taxi Stunt (After the Reveal):

Ehren had finally been told that the hair glued to his face was real pubic hair, and as he tore it off in chunks and tried not to gag, the female jackass leaned over and tapped him on the shoulder. “Oh, by the way, I’m 99% certain that I have crabs, so good luck explaining that at your next doctor’s appointment.” Ehren ran off to the grass as if he was about to throw up, and the rest of the crew lost it, with Bam rolling around on the ground in a fit of laughter. With Ehren out of earshot, the cameraman panned to the female jackass and lowered his voice. “When are you gonna tell him you don’t actually have crabs?” She grinned. “Never. I’m sure he’ll find out on his own.”

The Boys Fucking With Her Hair:

One of the unspoken rules of the jackass crew was to never fall asleep at work, because by doing so you were inviting the rest of the cast to prank you while you slept. Unfortunately, the female jackass totally forgot this on one occasion during the filming of the first jackass movie. Bam and Ryan Dunn walked into one of the backrooms and found her passed out on the couch, and they immediately decided to fuck with her. They brought in a cameraman and the rest of the jackass cast to watch, and then Bam took a lighter and used it to singe the ends of her long, greasy hair. The smell of burning hair somehow wasn’t enough to wake her up, so Ryan took it a step further and got a pair of scissors, grabbing a massive chunk of her hair and chopping it off. When the female jackass woke up and saw him standing over her with a third of her hair in his fist, she immediately got up, chased him through the building, tackled him to the ground, and shoved the entire chunk of hair down his throat. Any normal person would have cut some hair off the other side to make it even or even shaved off the whole thing just to start over, but the female jackass isn’t normal, and so she kept her hair exactly as it was for the rest of filming, to the point where it became her signature hairstyle.

Filming Dangerous Stunts With the Crew:

From the moment the female jackass member joined the crew, she’s been welcomed with open arms for one simple fact: she’s down for literally anything. Jumping off a three story building into a pile of trash cans? She’d say yes without hesitation. Being dropped into a pit full of poisonous snakes? Sure, just give her a thick pair of shoes and she’s good to go. She’s fearless as hell and will gladly volunteer to do stunts that the rest of the crew refuse to do. When the rest of the crew didn’t want to do a stunt that involved being shot at with a BB gun from only ten feet away, she immediately stepped up. When no one else wanted to slide down the roof of a four story building stark naked into a freezing cold pool in the middle of December, she eagerly took the opportunity and pulled it off flawlessly. She’s proven time and time again that she’s not a pussy, and the crew never doubts her for even a second. If anyone even suggested that she was too weak for a certain stunt, the rest of the crew would laugh their ass off and call them an idiot. She’s also been known to agree to extremely stupid stunts, like letting some of the cameramen (usually Crash) tattoo dicks on her arm while the two of them ride rollercoasters.

Being Gross as Hell with the Rest of the Crew:

If there’s one thing that’s certain, it’s that the crew couldn’t give a shit less that she’s a girl. The boys are all just as rough and disgusting with her as they are with each other; they’ve farted in her face, thrown animal shit at her during stunts, vomited all over her, shoved her face into their sweaty armpits, body slammed her into walls, and pranked her with electricity and rat traps just as much as anyone else, and she’s done the same to all of them. Her hygiene is about as good as the rest of theirs is (meaning not very good at all), so it’s not like any members of the crew like it when she shoves their face into her armpits or sticks her ass in their face when they’re unable to move. She’s been a part of the team so long that they’ve essentially forgotten that she’s physically different from the rest of them, and they have to be careful with bullying her in public because there’s been a couple of instances where they’ve pulled a mean prank on her or done something gross to her in public and had a random member of the public get onto them for “abusing” her. Someone could probably make a twenty minute compilation of footage of all the times she’s pulled her gym shorts down and stuck her sweaty ass in Bam’s face while he was distracted. One of her favorite things to do is blow her nose into a tissue and then open the tissue and rub it all over someone’s face. She also likes lighting her farts on fire, and has done it multiple times with one of the cameramen, Crash.

Addressing the Relationship Questions:

The Jackass crew were interviewed for their upcoming movie, and one of the first questions asked was directed at the female jackass member. “Are you dating any of the cast?” All of the crew, her included, reacted with total disgust. “These guys have seen me do some absolutely disgusting things, and I’ve seen them do even more disgusting things, and when you see stuff like that, it’s impossible to think of them in a romantic way. How am I supposed to kiss Dave when I’ve seen him eat horse shit? How do I fuck Bam when we’ve farted in each other’s faces? How do I even think about dating Steve-O when he’s thrown up on me every day since I started working with him? These guys are my best friends, but I could never be anything more than that with any of them.” The rest of the guys agreed, and the subject was quickly changed.

The Topic of Vagina Stunts:

Half of the stunts done by the crew involve their dicks, so when the female jackass member joined the crew, it only makes sense that she wanted to do some vagina-related stunts. She directly asked Johnny to let her do something involving her getting hit in the crotch with a baseball, but while Johnny and the crew were all for it, some of the higher ups flatly refused; for one reason or another, they didn’t think it was appropriate to show a woman being hit in the crotch on TV. But her and the boys were determined to make it happen, so for the second jackass film, they filmed several stunts of her getting hit in the crotch and then, after lots of begging, finally managed to convince the executives to let them put the footage on the 2.5 film. Johnny once said he’d never seen a woman be so eager to get hit in the crotch with heavy objects before.

Being Absolutely Stupid Like the Rest of the Cast:

Usually when there’s only one female member of a group, she’s the “voice of reason” and the smart one. That’s not the case here. The female Jackass member is just as stupid and juvenile as the rest of the cast. In a stunt that involved having to answer questions at a fourth grade level, she got every single question wrong, even the ones about simple math. When one of the crew members would come up with a stupid suggestion, like lighting up fireworks in the house, she’d always be the first to agree. She doesn’t have a single bit of common sense; her brain wants excitement and adrenaline, and that’s what she looks for. She’ll go along with any stupid idea if she thinks it’ll be funny or exciting, so if you want to speak to someone reasonable, don’t come to her. She laughs just as hard at fart jokes as she does at actual punchlines, and she’s an avid user of fart putty and whoopie cushions.

#jackass imagine #jackass x reader #jackass #johnny knoxville #bam margera #steve o #chris pontius #danger ehren #dave england #preston lacy #wee man #imagine #fanfiction #headcanon

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mcflymemes · 1 year

Text

PROMPTS FROM STEP BROTHERS * assorted dialogue from the 2008 film

this house is a fucking prison!

we're in the bathroom!

i don't believe in belts.

it usually starts by you telling me a little something about yourself.

i'm going to take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the shit out of you.

this wedding is horse shit.

you guys have an outstanding track record.

i was faking. i used ninja focus to slow my heart rate down.

i smoked pot with johnny hopkins.

you're not gonna come down and say hi to me?

i thought we'd begin talking about your parents' divorce.

i want you out of my fucking house!

i just want you to know i hate you.

oh stop it!

i dont have to swear to shit!

you must feel just terrible.

i owe you an apology.

you gotta keep an eye on it.

you take that back.

we do it because we love you.

hey, can i ask you something?

this is my house now.

what do we do now?

you're failures!

i wasn't fired from my job. i was laid off.

whoa, calm down, man. i'm just joking.

you know what? i still hate you.

you were dead. i saw you die.

sweet jesus! i love korean food!

maybe someday we could become friends.

do you wanna do karate in the garage?

we could hug.

i didn't want the salmon! i said four times!

it sounds a lot like the plot of good will hunting.

how old were you when they got divorced?

why are you so sweaty?

this is what i live with!

this is just like cold case files!

get out of my face, or i'm gonna roundhouse your ass.

was that a fart?

in no way, shape, or form do i feel any feelings of intimacy towards you in any way whatsoever.

what if i were to tell you i could sell this house for 30% above market?

oh, i'm exhausted.

well that's fine.

i always wanted to be a dinosaur.

i can taste it on my tongue.

we're here to fuck shit up!

on the count of three, name your favorite dinosaur.

i swear, i'm so pissed off at my mom.

i remember my first beer.

we can bicker about this all night, but what's done is done.

i would follow you into the mists of avalon.

shut the fuck up!

you're alive! oh my god!

my little brother is even a bigger asshole than you are.

i'm just saying, you need to think about your options.

i'm not gonna call him dad.

did you touch my drum set?

he had the craziest look in his eyes.

you have the voice of an angel.

believe me, i've told him that.

hey, you're embarrassing yourself!

do you want to talk about some of those feelings?

we like to shit with the door open.

guess what? i hate you too.

now the tuxedos seem kind of fucked up.

you better not go to sleep, 'cause as soon as your eyes shut, i'm gonna punch you square in the face.

stop being a fucking dinosaur and get a job.

hey, you awake?

are you fucking crazy, man?

you're not feeling this?

i tea-bagged your drumset.

i know you two are technically married.

i'm not going to! ever!

my best friend is ben affleck.

look, i didn't touch your drum set.

okay, i'll be honest with you. i did fart.

you know what's good for shoulder pain?

we're putting the house on the market.

don't even think about it.

what's your problem?

i would've done the exact same thing.

did we just become best friends?

i feel like i'm smarter than most of the people who go there.

you and your mom are hillbillies.

it stinks. and this is a small room.

obviously... you don't know me.

my penis is tingling right now.

we make our own beef jerky.

you better not get in my face.

where are we moving?

ready? one, two, three.

i think it's time for a change. for both of us.

your voice is like a combination of fergie and jesus.

i know that we started out as foe.

i've seen him do it.

this house sucks ass.

the clown has no penis.

we are living the dream.

i'm just thinking about our life together.

what kind of dreams are you having?

shut up!

it was in international waters, so they couldn't prosecute him.

i hope you stay still when you sleep, 'cause i'm gonna put a rat trap between your legs.

why do you have randy jackson's autograph on a martial arts weapon?

you leave me money for pizza?

well what about us?

we literally have never done any of those things.

what's this all about?

shut your mouth!

what the fuck happened?

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tiredstressedemotionalmess · 7 months

Note

am sick so if you'd like to speak some suitehearts/killjoys thoughts to me i would love to hear them :P

im sorry ur not feeling well :(( heres a (too goddamn long sorry) summary of all the suitehearts Thoughts i was struck with in latin earlier to hopefully make you feel a bit better <33

so first i was just thinking abt Benz and how hed get roped into the show via threats from bli and then i was like ohhh okay what if they offer him a lab space/equipment to do whatever experiments/research he wants if they agree to being on the show. bc like at this point its abundantly clear that hes not gonna work for them by making new drugs as originally planned but they dont want to risk losing his potential (and they wanna show that theyre still fucking in control) so they make them this "deal" (which theyve really got no other option to take if they dont wanna die) and he gets this lab and figures he can find a way of counteracting blis bullshit sort of in secret bc he knows hes never gonna be able to get this equipment anywhere else

AND THEN i started thinking abt how this would effect his relationship with everyone else on the show (namely Sandman and Donnie bc Crab atp basically just exists off set in a drugged up haze) and i started thinking that maybe thered be some tension there bc the others are either poor or poor AND heavily demoted from past positions of power, and they look at Benz with his higher education and seemingly wealthy lifestyle and they think hes an enthusiastic participant in the system thats fucked them both over. so maybe theyre both kinda dicks to them off set but im thinking Benz doesn't really care bc he doesnt hang around much anyways if they arent filming- hes gotta spend every possible second in the lab yk? and then i started thinking about what might push them all to really talk and become friends which led to THE fucking idea ever

so one day Sandy and Donnie are looking for Benz in his dressing room bc they were supposed to start filming like fifteen fucking minutes ago god Benz this isnt just your show stop being so fucking selfish and come do your job- but they stop as just outside the door as they very clearly hear Benz arguing with someone important and they're saying something about a deal? and Benz sounds pissed saying this wasnt in the agreement and they said he could research whatever he wanted and they cant just do this- if they take this from him hes done. he's walking. they already took everything else from him so if they dont let him have this then hes off the fucking show and they can just try and catch him when he runs. and Whoever theyre talking to is just like "lolz okay well if you're leaving guess were gonna have to recast everyone for 'consistency' so i guess all the others have no reason to be kept around anymore-" and its like. a VERY clear threat on the rest of the Suitehearts' lives and Benz fucking freaks out. he backtracks immediately apologizes for speaking out says they can take his research he doesnt care jesus just dont bring them into this they didnt even do anything

so then Sandy and Donnie are like "ohhh What The Fuck :D" and they kinda feel like assholes for making assumptions bc clearly this isnt the first time Benz has been threatened (and its very much implied that blis gone through with last threats when he wasnt compliant) and theyve both already had their own shit building up and their hatred for bli was already basically at the tipping point already so yeah. they confront Benz and Benz tells him that theyd been trying to develop a sort of blocker for bli's pills. something people in the city can take to negate their effects. he didnt even know if it was possible or if he was on the right track with his research but apparently bes gotten close enough to something for bli to have to step in now. and the other two are obviously like ?????? WHAT THE FUCK YOU MEAN YOU LITERALLY INVENTED A WAY TO FREE PEOPLE FROM BLIS CONTROL WHAT THE SHIT WE HAVE TO HELP YOU SAVE THAT SHIT RIGHT THE FUCK NOW

and Benz is all like "well technically idk if ive invented shit yet bc i haven't actually tested the drug on anyone" and the others are like "bet okay you need a test subject? lets yoink Crab". Benz is incredibly fucking against doing that bc Consent and Ethics. he lets it slip that he does have a stash of the drug already made and hidden in his apartment and hes just gonna test the shit on himself but Sandy and Donnie are noooot fucking having it bc "dude. you understand they arent gonna let you go after this right? even if they keep you alive, they are gonna start tightening the reigns and pumping you full of shit and then youre gonna be the one who needs the blockers" and yeah they really do have a point there so Benz agrees to join them on the escape plan theyve been devising (which side note. yeah those two were planning on running away together anyways but thats a different post probably-) and what follows is the most stressful fucking two weeks of all of their lives as they start discreetly gathering the shit theyll need to leave all while having to wrap filming this season and dealing with management watching their every fucking move and making vague ominous comments about "the future of their careers" AND theyre slipping Crab these new fucking pills and having to keep a close eye on them and keep them calm as theyre slowing coming out of their trance and realizing Oh Fuck Im In The City

and then like. it all comes to a head and they very publicly are chased by a bunch of crows in costume bc they end up having to fin in the middle of filming and i havent thought much abt this lart yet so yeah. thats what i spent all of latin thinking abt I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER SOON KAZ <333

#asks #my headcanons #danger days #danger days headcanons #americas suitehearts #killjoy suitehearts #<gonna try use that tag to keep all my thoughts together :p #danger days the true lives of the fabulous killjoys #and yes this is literally the exact shit i said i wasnt gonna post abt and this is what im writing a fic on so spoilers ig but not really #BUT ITS NOT MY FAULT OKAY I NEED TO CHEER NY FRIEND UP AND I JUST STARTED TYPING AND COULDNT STOP #so enjoy all my Too Many words ig #my writing

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