#dont rb this

[aikotos]

I found some new nice blogs/sites with old P3 art & I need to to share this one immediately, some pages are so silly omg

#talk #dont rb this #i just wanted to show how cute the pages are #i will make another post with other sites in a week or so

[knifekris]

its actually so stupid being this acutely dysphoric and simultaneously afraid of T

#z isnt plenty of us arent and idk i dont want my body to become any more unfamiliar than it is #its gonna happen whether im scared of it or not i guess because we've been promising ourselves for a long time #idk. i dont want a human body at all. i dont like it. #dont rb this

[cupcraft]

you know ive been thinking about it and i want to say im so sorry i never finished analyzing the data for the art ratio survey i did a year ago. Truly I had so many applicants and that one person who said it seemed like too muchfor one person was right. I became terribly busy with school, lab work, and preparing for my standardized test that is in a couple months and i completely burnt out and had other personal matters going on. I really could only find time to do the things that brought me joy, like writing, and this felt a lot like work. But i feel bad that i never really finished or published the data/analysis because i felt like it was a really important thing to do. Idk if i'll ever get to it, or will have time to. I'd be willing to pass the torch off to someone else if they wanted (a mutual ik well!). But yeah i just meant to apologize for not following through with that at all.

#my musings #dont rb this #can rply #or send asks #i shouldve asked for help truly bc it was too much just for me

[gunpowder-tim]

okay no one asked but ocs make brain go brrr so this is what they look like

caspian

1. official buisniess stuff, 2. casual around friends (the scarf is ros) 3. at home bein fish

roisin

1. everyday 2. meeting cas dad/visitin fish people

these r the main two and i loved this picrew but it doesnt exsist anymore so i had to find a decent one to make everyone on which took ages but here

cas n ro obvi

then theres a different cat person and a kinda orc ish girl

then theres dude who can see the future and moth girl (im including the original picrew i made mothgirl on bc it looks the best i had to do kinda shitty editing to make horns into moth antenna and i was gonna try and change the butterfly wings but i got lazy)

hang on moth girl n the elf twins are gonna have to be a rb

#dont rb this #if u wanna know which picrew i can find out #rai.txt

[sketchdeath]

this pic has been on my phone for so long that i dont remember the artist but it changed me. this is me

#mine #dont rb this

[pwesident]

driving myself insane with thoughts of what could’ve been and what could be

#dont rb this #like how would life be different if i didn’t fuck up every single interpersonal relationship that’s been significant in my life #and how long will it be til i fuck up the ones i hold dear now #i miss so many people but they despise me for good reason

[samglyph]

hunter is experiencing what I like to call the suicidal to realizing he actually very much wants to keep living due to multiple direct threats against his life pipeline. classic high school experiences.

any way look at my animal crossing cosplay

i made two :)

#dont rb this #but if you want the animal crossing designs let me know #WISH ac had capes

[brawn-gp]

my stories last week // mick today

#we are actually the same person #my video was prettier tho #hashtag no flex #dont rb this

[angelboybreakdowns]

worst day of my goddamn life /nlit. i was supposed to get my hair cut the first time since june but my mom “doesnt want to deal with [me]” so thats not happening. my birthday is tomorrow and none of my friends is celebrating with me. my sister is being a bitch as usual. i have a goddamn nosebleed. literally nothing is fucking going right.

#vent #personal vent #dont rb this #im probably gonna calm down in a few hours and feel embarrassed

[theirtheretheyre]

i feel like shit both emotionally and physically this was honestly probably my worst birthday yet i thought we were having the party today but we arent and i didnt fucking know because no one ever tells me anything, i couldnt even make it to 4:30 without crying, i slept in for half the day but i still have to go do stuff rn i hate this

#im just so pissed too #no one ever tells me anything both in my family and out of it #i didnt know any of my own birthday plans because no one bothers to fucking tell me #i didnt know my dad was going out of town for a business trip until five minutes before he left #i didnt know when one of my friends broke up with their girlfriend and then i asked about them and looked like an ass bc i didnt no but no #no one told me so how was i supposed to fucking know #sorry #dont rb this

[mare-the-silly-scroingle]

me when i’m finally in a healthy romantic relationship 

\o/

^ he is cheering

#bf's mother is now aware of us dating which is a bit nervewracking but mostly fine #considering how uh unsubtle my partner is i don't think we could have avoided that bit #i am a lot better at navigating it with my parents to like Not make it as obvious #though i think well. everyone is a bit suspicious. #it's complicated but neither of us are in any danger no matter what way we slice it so we're managing okay #dont rb this #also these tags r unrelated to the post i am just also cheering

[your-fave-is-bi]

I am so stressed and i am going to explode.

#personal tag #dont rb this #this is abt my thesis defense on Thursday and i wish to fucking perish #can i just skip to friday. when I know which course my career will be following #bc I really dont think im gonna be good at this. the defending of my thesis #mostly bc i know its pretty dogshit #i just. i have a feeling. im gonna be Not Present all throughout tomorrow #i dont wanna call it disassociating but idk #its either that or im hyper aware of the clock ticking

[mothmans-cumrag]

Ok so yesterday I (kind of unexpectedly) had a meltdown at work. (It had been building up but I ignored it for a while bc I haven't had one in almost a year.)

My coworkers know I am autistic and have already shown their acceptance and support when I was nonverbal or being overstimulated, and my boss (I hate calling him that. To me he's just Philipp) recognised I was having a bad time and managed to kind of hide me and help me calm down a little, but it was an overall bad situation.

Especially because he said he'd bring me home and then his girlfriend walked with us and asked him to go shopping, saying she could bring me home as well. I can barely understand what she means at the best of times as she has weird facial expressions and always sounds cross, so I disliked it.

Anyway I now made a ten page PowerPoint presentation in our work cloud which I will present to them about dealing with me in these situations so that they can actually help and not worsen it by accident.

The thing is, I'm self-diagnosed. My mother was antivaxx and since I wasn't vaccinated until I was 18 and living on my own it was "impossible for me to be autistic", so she wrote me off as a weird child. I have decided to not get an official diagnosis until after I have started transitioning because I've heard the stories. I know that being diagnosed with autism makes it almost impossible to be diagnosed with gender incongruence.

I am scared as fuck man.

One day I won't be working there anymore (and that day is somewhen in next march) and I am so scared that whoever my future bosses and coworkers are, that they won't believe me.

I mean I can call myself lucky tho, can't I? Most self-diagnosed autistic people probably have it worse at their places of work. I still can't help but worry, tho.

#dont rb this #i mean why would you anyway #if i wasnt so scared of death i think id really see it as the easier option #leaf posts #kdct #autism #actually autistic

[mamawasatesttube]

BTW... PSA.... even if we arent mutuals if youre in my notes regularly theres a Very high chance i am still fond of you. yes im vaguing someones tags on the compliment the person u rbed this from post. but like. positive vaguing? THE POINT IS im weird abt following ppl but IM STILL SENDING U FOND VIBES...

#i have to acclimate myself into following people. first i have to spend a few days to weeks checking someones blog manually #and i cant follow too many new people in the same burst or else theres TOO MUCH new unfamiliarity on my dash #and i become a small and easily frightened beast alarmed by change #also im just....................... incredibly picky kjhsdkjjkdsj sometimes ppl i generally am :)! towards do occasionally rb #from someone who i want to throw bricks at. and then i cant follow them but im still :)! when i see them in notifs #and sometimes its just that im going AAAA!!! AAAA!!! and cant put more new things on my dash #or in some cases its someone im fond of seeing/chatting w whenever we have talked BUT they simply are also into stuff im not rly into #and i dont want it on my dash despite liking them as a person. etc. you know how it is #ALL OF WHICH TO SAY................... :)! #rimi talks

[faux-fm]

hey psst, i'm talking one commission slot. dm me if youre interested and i'll give you my commission carrd there lol

#dont rb this #also its bc the carrd's a bit outdated so i havent publicized it yet LMAO

[pwesident]

have I once again managed to make two people dislike being my friends

#dont rb this