#dont try meth

[frozenmagz]

not having a relationship with my dad anymore makes me so fucking sad sometimes. he just texted me happy valentine's day which is nice, i guess, but like. our relationship is destroyed. it's non existent. our entire foundation (which only started after i moved away, btw, because he was never home before my parents split and then he was incredibly volatile and difficult to talk to about anything in any capacity) was based on a total falsehood. and like i am trying to have sympathy and i know that recovery is difficult but he lied to me for almost five years and i just. don't know that there's anything to salvage. and then there's the whole me being trans thing, which he doesn't even know about and would ruin our non existent relationship even further. i'm just. Sad

#his addiction completely screwed me over in ways he doesnt even fucking understand and in the ways he does understand REFUSES to acknowledge #theres no accountability and it fucking Kills me #like how can you recover from addiction if you wont even name the substance youre addicted to when trying to admit it #anyway. dont do meth #personal

[iamthekarmapolice]

thinking about how a hallmark of the ‘toxic romance’ genre done badly is endless repetitive circular arguments (e.g. 50 shades, the after series) and thinking about how emily and lorelai on gilmore girls also argue nearly every episode, and all of it boils down to a fundamental conflict between mother and daughter but it never feels tedious or repetitive, even though it literally is. it’s always ultimately about lorelai feeling like emily doesn’t understand her and emily feeling like lorelai is an ungrateful daughter. but they’re both right and they’re both wrong and each fight that they have seems to shed light on some new facet of their relationship and between the nuanced writing and the impeccable acting it just makes the whole thing feel so interesting and relatable and complex and substantial

#gilmore girls #yes we are in the essay portion of the rewatch and im only on ep 6 #and yeah the writing takes a nosedive in later seasons but we dont talk about that #i think the first season of gilmore girls is as complex and nuanced as any of the gritty antihero shows of the golden age if not more #we all know that cooking meth and being in the mafia are bad things to do. but what about trying to be a good mother and failing?

[tittyinfinity]

Imagine everyone is doing lines of coke in the bathroom together and when it comes to your turn someone says "sorry but I heard you're a parent and it would be irresponsible for me to give you this while you're child free and with other adults :/ I just think parents shouldn't do drugs sorry :/"

#doing party drugs when you go out isnt the same as a full blown addiction my dude #ive never bought any myself but when my friends have it hell yeah im doing it! #no one has ever actually said this to me im just making fun of people on facebook who say #if a parent does drugs at all ever it means they dont care about their children #its super common for everyone to post about how drunk theyre getting after their kids stress them out! #meanwhile if you do one (1) line of coke at a party youve ruined your ''perfect parent'' status #i WILLL say do not take drugs from strangers #only get it from people you know and wait to see how it affects others before doing it #especially where im at (southern midwest) where people cut stuff with meth #also NEVER TRY METH OR HEROIN EVER!!!!!!!! those are NOT party drugs!!!! #drugs tw #probably should have started w that tag #ok changed it to where it has a community label

[greenedbeans]

behind a van at the starbucks with a sticker that says 'i run on caffeine, chaos, and bluey.' weird moment to be literate

#ive been trying to think of a show that would make sense to me but i couldnt think of anythibg #briefly considered breaking bad but at that point just say caffeine chaos and meth (dont do this.)

[dhampir-dyke]

healthcare hero momence (:

Tw medical shit in tags

#if i get yelled at by one more methhead ill die #no maam you cannot drink water or order takeout you got methed up and blew a hole in your face with birdshot #no matter how many times or how many ways i explained it to her it didnt matter. finally she took the water she was using to swab her mouth #with. and water spilled out the holes in her face and throat like a fucking looney tune #it was a miracle she didnt aspirate #and then 5 mjnutes later my other lady with an NG tube rang- it had come unclamped and gastric fluid soaked her/the entire bed/the floor. #and the entire time i was trying to clean it up snd make her bed she was nagging me for going too slow #DO NOT go into healthcare if you dont like people or hate csring for others that a duh #but also. if you're overwhelmingly optimistic and love humans and humanity and community i think you should reconsider the field as well #bc nothing will fuck with your opinions of others quite like healthcare would. you will learn harsh truths whether you like it or not #and either way you're gonna see some horrific shit first hand. even if youre not a first responder youre liable to get a helping of #traumatic experiences + shit that will kindof just destroy your soul #and depending on how low on the totem pole you are #youll prolly get paid minimum wage to deal wit #h the Horrors

[quartztwst]

waitt Azul doesn't like rielle? I'm sry I'm not on Jp but PLZZ tell mee I always thought he was neutral

I THINK HE HATED RIELLE he said he was cringe or smth???

I KNOW HE MENTIONED SOMETHING ABOUT RIELLE AND I THINK AZUL HAS AN ICK FOR HIM HE WAS LIKE “ew rielle i think he should die” or smth idk i REMEMBER IT OR WAS THAT MADE UP IN MY MEMORY WTF

I LOOKED AND I SWEAR THERE WAS SOMETHING ABOUT AZULBEING A HATER AND I DONT SEE ANYTHING

DID I MAKE IT UP IN MY HEAD AM I DELSUIONAL?? AM I CRAZY??? IM SO CRAZY FOR AZUL I STARTED MAKING SHIT UP IN MY HEAD.

im insane im gone what the fuck i swear

I SWEAR

anyways about my rielle teehee bc fuck azul whatever

Rielle (MY VERSION)

Second year (17)

Dude sometimes is dumb as fuck

Geninuely did not pay attention to Azul until they both went up to the surface

But he did think Azul was cool so he thinks they’re friends but Azul thinks he’s fucking cringe

the reason he didn’t even think about azul is because ermmm he’s a royal and was taught not to talk to POOR POEPLEE (azul is not poor)

but you get what i was saying

he’s the youngest and he’s mostly left behind so he spends his time alone and quiet

UNTIL HE DISCOVERED THAT HUMANS FUCKING EXIST AND WAS LIKE “yo, dad, i wanna go to the surface”

and his dad was like “what but the surface is kinda wack no”

and then he asked the TWST equalivent of Sebastian (CRAB ONE NOT THE DEMON) and RAN AWAY??? TO THE SURFACE. HE LIKE

HE LITERALLY LEFT HOME TO GO TO SCHOOL ON THE SURFACE (no contract needed)

he met azul again during the boot camp thing and wanted to make friends for the first time and was met with “ew die” from azul

he’s very curious about land and land dweller culture so he’s always trying to try everything before his dad figures out where he is at.

he’s late to class everyday bc he’s too busy researching and trying something out

his guardian basically sebastian

accidentally made meth once

his grades are actually pretty good. he’s everywhere but he also studies the night before the test and somehow gets 91%

created an essay under 7 hours and got a decent score

gets his ass scolded by Cedric (cinderella twst oc) and Sebastian bc he keeps doing that

tries to get Neige into his antics

Asked Neige to go sky-diving with him and they literally both went (Neige had fun, Rielle was screaming)

Rielle hates heights but wants to overcome them

made a contract with azul that lost his voice for the first half of the school year before leona dusted it and he gained his voice back (<- i might change this)

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst ocs #twst oc #twisted wonderland ocs #twisted wonderland oc #azul ashengrotto #prince rielle #twst rielle

[austinsastrology8991]

> Mer{Cure}Y <

I gots some drugs for yall fiends > plug back <

1 > No one wants to talk to each other Hi how are you? good thanks :) Nice day isnt it. It for sure is! Hey wyd. not much wbu. Im chilling. Same lol. what are you doing? Im watching something on youtube. Oh nice. Wbu? im watching anime. Oh cool. No wonder we are all fiends for some entertainment, because we are incapable of entertaining each other. 2 > The insecurity of not sounding smart makes everyone conform into a retarded form of one another. We all have the same views. The same topics are constantly being brought up. And when someone speaks about something new, everyone loses interest because no one can handle the reality that maybe they don't know something. Oh and the only reason you listen to each other is to get something from that person whether that be attention, or clout or whatever the fuck you define as your ends. Since most of us, are in a state of fear, we aren't able to talk about something we don't know about. 3 > Mercury is about confidence. And most of yall bite your tongues but love to act tough. Every person who has told me they are hard, is incapable of pushing the envelope. I think you are more caught up with your own image, and are afraid of not appearing tuff. But guess what true courage is about revolting against whats normal, or the courage to be wrong. Show dont tell true?. ANd im done hearing about whoever the fuck you think you are. Show me something interesting dont tell me what you think you are. Don't tell me what you want me to hear. 4 > Conversations are being ruined by people who are constantly telling others they are wrong. Excuse me fucker. But are you capable of arguing against me? No beyond that. Can you stick to the conversation at hand, or are you going to source the same sources every SJW ever has cited. Your not even a real person, your just mimicrying beliefs you believe in. Pathetic tbh. Hey whatever more people will agree with you because we are all jsut looking for a place to belong. so good for you. You chose the easy way out bravo. I thought conversations were a place to discuss and learn. But your so focused on being correct. to me you look wrong, but you do 'sound' right because well .. to reiterate we all want to be right so we band together with whats acceptable. 5 > School fucked you. You were told to sit down and stfu. and if you were invested in to the conversation in the class room. You were memed on by all ur class mates. School breeds insecurity, and teaches people to sit down. Thats why some of yall are so forceful in standing up for yourself. Trying to break the chains of the past. And before you point the finger at me. Don't shoot the messenger. we were all brainwashed, I dont blame anyone trying to change the foundations of your past, considering how fucked it all really is 6 > "Im not that smart" This is just an excuse. Learning everyone can do. You just need to concentrate and put effort in. "oh I canT beCauSe I HaVe ADHD" well my bad just take more of that meth shit that way you can turn into mini hitler and become smart I guess. Also if your so insecure go cry to your psychologists like ffs. Eveyrone can be smart. YOu just need to develop your confidence > Rule 3 <

7 > You learn from what you see. monkey see monkey do. if your surrounded by a bunch of dumb cunts. YOur a dumb cunt now. If your being put down by people in your clique you are surrounded by negativity. If your being constantly praised for nothing you are surrounded by yes man. Find diversity. use discrepency. Its perfectly okay to judge people. stop suppressing that urge to appear 'normal' Many people are not normal but we are so caught up in trying to act normal when we are all pretty fucky 8 > The past was different and so will be the future. Would you shut the fuck up with the pessmism. Things will change. You need to be open to receiving it. You've had happy times as much as youve had bad times. ANd if your trapped in a big pit hole of death. well you better get climbing because no one can be bothered to help anyone anymore because we are probably the most selfish we've ever been ever (social mediaaaaasaa) and the adults are still trying to adjust to the internet because the world been flipped (itll flip again) 9 > No one cares about your opinion more than you Thats why your so uncomfortable speaking your truth. Because everyone is more into their own truths. So we practise the art of self affirmation by denying other peoples truths. When everything exists for a reason. WE are so caught up in making our own manifestations true by denying others 'truths.' Selfish cunts.... But hey wtf am I saying Im just an anonymous pluto I don't know shit ;')

My next post is my last post. Don't cry. I have my reasons. My next post however is going to my >master piece< ;')

[sadsnek]

sonic and cooking head canons

sonic. no way he knows a lot of modern home cooking if any home cooking when he knows he can just buy it or have dinner with tails / amy, BUT he should know basic foraging and gathering by now and has plenty experience cooking on a camp fire.

tails. is better at meal prep then cooking or at least he thinks he is why spend so much time making 2 to 3 meals a day every day when he can just make 3 meals and increase the ingredients by 700% and save the rest for the other days of the week but he will cook somthing fresh when he has guest over, if you can consider boiled hot dogs fresh that is.

amy. she is a great home cook and will cook with cream vanilla and big from time to time, the problem is when she wants to get fancy and trys to make a new recipe and has full confidence when she is in reality way over her head, and it dosent matter what she is making she will say "and now the secret ingredient" its love the secret ingredient is love and its not much of a secret if its the secret ingredient in every thing she cooks.

knuckles. similar to sonic but has the benefit of being on the same island all the time, he doesnt have a oven or any electric equipment but he does have some primitive stuff like a mortar and pestle, plus knuckles should have a garden some where on the island yeah its over grown and poorly kept but its still a place where he can get some snacks.

cream and vanilla. these two are the best cooks in town even better than amy any thats ok because they are happy to invite people over for dinner and if you cook with them you will probably learn some thing new, also the serving sizes are pretty big as vanilla is most defiantly the tallest person in town.

eggman. in thought he is a master chief but in action he has not cooked in years think about it the food he eats is more than good enough to keep up his large shape despite all the mechanics work he does and he had to program or train his robots to cook at some point, so he know how to work a kitchen but he is so busy and he has robots that can do it for him so he probably never cooks more than once a month or even less.

shadow. he is a picky eater with a nostalgic taste in food so he knows how to cook food but nothing passed the 60s, and despite not making any thing trendy or popular he at least knows he will make some thing he will eat.

rouge. its fair to say she likes to eats high class how she gets the money for these lavish meals is well not all ways moral, but she is willing to eat some thing simple when at social gatherings most defiantly if she does not have to pay for it.

omega. I dont know if it is said or not if they have a animal powering them but if they do that bird is getting ripped(its probably a flicky) we are talking protein powder steroids fresh salad, it does not matter if its weird and maybe traumatic to feed them chicken and rice but thats what professional marshal artist eat so thats what omegas power source eats too!

charmy. he makes peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in the mourning for school days/work days and is proud of them.

espio. he is well known at the asian market and knows how to cook but does not get to learn any thing expensive or fancy ether for price and schedule issues.

vector. boy he has been trough the rough of it he knows how to feed 3 people on 400$ a month, and thats by hanging out at vanillas house.

team hooligan. bark and fang probably know some recipes but bean is a chemical fanatic one minute there making muffins and the next minute there pulling out a whole tray of crystal meth.

silver. i dont think he has a steady supply of food is most apocalyptic futures so he just likes to eat a pound of dry cement for breakfast.

surge and kit. they use to get fresh meals when starline was around, but now they got use to the effort of MREs if it takes more effort than poring water in a thermal bag then its worth the effort to just mug some one for some diner cash.

#sth #sonic headcanons #sth headcanons #sonic the hedgehog #miles tails prower #sonic #headcanon #amy rose #knuckles the echidna #cream the rabbit #vanilla the rabbit #doctor eggman #dr eggman #shadow the hedgehog #rouge #rouge the bat #e 123 omega #123 omega #charmy bee #espio the chameleon #vector the crocodile #fang the sniper #bark the polar bear #bean the dynamite #silver the hedgehog #surge the tenrec #kit the fennec #team hero #team rose #team dark

[j3st3r-13]

*clears throat*

dad trevor, with the reader being their teen kid (can be fem or neutral doesn't matter)

ty!

trevor philips with a teen!kid

anon this is my fucking jam

let's be honest here you were either the result of some hookup or he found you on the street. it really doesn't matter because your dad loves you no matter what 100% of the time.

you could try and kill him and he'd be like okay crazy calm down and go back to bed.

depending on the time period wade and chef are your uncles or brad lester and Mikey are your uncles. either way, your the most protected kid on the planet, nobody and I mean nobody fucks with you.

trev will teach you how to shoot from the moment you can hold a gun. you scap with whoever whenever. uncle M says that you inherited feralness from your dad (he's right)

you are the only one who can calm Trevor down, sometimes you can't but mostly you can. you are also the only one he would ever consider giving up meth for.

sorry sweetie he would die for you but he won't give up his criminal lifestyle for you. he's gonna die with a gun in his hand whether you like it or not.

trev teaches you everything you know, how to read, write, hotwire anything, ride a bike, fly a plane, and load a gun. he's your sole teacher which probably isn't good in the long run, but he's fun.

Trevor's suicidal tendencies are gone with you, he can't imagine leaving you behind, especially by his own hand. its the main reason why he forgives Michael he gets it now.

(im imagining you an older teen like 19/20. traces age)speaking of Michael you were heartbroken to find out uncle mickey was dead, and you mourned him alongside your dad, only to find out he's alive and well?! you practically kick the door in yourself.

you cant forgive uncle M for a long time but you do enjoy that you have your best friends Tracey back. It's a heartwarming reunion and even jimmy takes a second away from his dick and his game to hug you.

if you are an older teen like 'the 20's'20s then you might date franklin or Lamar,(only if you wanted to and I was gonna include trace but it is kinda weird ) anyway trev would be furious and pleased if you dated someone like frank. he knows and respects frank but franks also shit scared of your dad win-win.

your dads is surprisingly cool with you dating as long as it's all age-legal and shit. he doesn't care if you hook up/friends with benefits but if you dated so he'd wanna know as soon as. mostly so he can do his whole scary dad routine. ( he does this for fun, he trusts you to be smart and date who you like, I mean he fell in love with a mexicans wife he held hostage)

when you get older you'd move into a nearby trailer, taking up the whole block. It's funny TPI trailers are a mess and yous look semi-decent.

overall, Trevor an amazing father, not a very conventional one but someone you can turn to and trust. he's your friend first but a protective father second. he loves you and you have some badass parents

oh god I dont even wanna think about something sensible...

#grand theft auto 5 imagines #gta 5 #grand theft auto v #gta v #gta v trevor #gta headcanons #grand theft auto 5 #trevor philips #trevor philips x teen!reader #gta v headcanons

[galaxywarp]

Last night’s relapse dream was . Particularly awful

It was just too convincing. Too realistic. I was in my grandparent’s house, sneaking around and trying to hide that I was smoking meth. Going into the bathroom and hurrying to take a hit and hiding the paraphernalia in the cabinets afterwards, exactly like how I did when I was really using. Listening with intense paranoia to make sure no one was coming too close to the door. Making sure no one could hear my lighters clicking.

I even. I even rolled the pipe.

I don’t think I’ve had a dream about that specific action before.

For those of you who hopefully DONT smoke meth, basically when you’re hitting the pipe you’re supposed to roll it back and forth to produce more vapor and not burn your shit.

Usually in my dreams the actual act of hitting the pipe is a lot more vague and dreamlike.

But last night, it was detailed to the point of me sitting there and rolling my pipe as I hit it. And I remember as soon as my brain clicked like “oh right im supposed to roll this”, a shit ton more vapor filled the bubble and I got a HUGE hit.

I even felt kind of high. Or as high as my brain could simulate based on memories.

But the intimacy of the secrecy was unbearable. I was lying to my mom in that dream. Trying to lie and lie and hide what I was doing. Sneaking off to places to be alone for long enough to get in a hit or two.

I could feel the bulge of my pipe in my jean’s pocket. Just like when I was really using. Worrying about if anyone could make out the shape.

I was fully convinced that. I had actually relapsed. In the dream, I mean. I was thinking about how this was it. I fucked it all up. 10 months of sobriety, gone. I was battling with myself over if I was gonna try to stop or just say fuck it and go on a bender.

I was still trying to make up my mind when i finally woke up.

[pleasetiemyshoelaces]

bitch you saying over and over that i have a kink that i dont doesnt make it fact =/

the fact that you even think i would share something so personal with someone i didnt actually know is fucking insane

you dont know what my kinks are doll

"if you want to bury the hatchet" oh i do, right into your face =D eat my ass whore =D TRY TO FUCKING BLACKMAIL ME I DARE YOU YOU HAVE NOTHING

you compared me to my rapist, said what i "did to you" aka flipped my shit over YOU VIOLATING MY CONSENT was akin to my sister raping me in my sleep for years. "bury the hatchet"???? have you started smoking meth??? are you that fucked in the head that you think i want to "bury the hatchet" with you?

the gluten free audacity on this bitch xDDDDDDDDDDD

IM FUCKING WHEEZING

#courtney orchard #courtney peet #poppy diabolique #poppy and zena #poppy #poppyandzenaonyoutube

[underworld-park-offical]

CLYDE: HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK

CLYDE: THE FUCKING VIDEO CUT OFF BUT

CLYDE: CRAIGS PROBABLY DEAD HE'S DEAD HE'S DEAD HE’S DEADDDDD WAHHHHHH

TOLKIEN: I KNOW SHUT UP TOLKIEN: YOU'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT THAT THE WHOLE CAR RIDE!!!

CLYDE: I KNOW WE ALL SAID WE WANTED HIM DEAD BUT CLYDE: BUT CLYDE: WAHHHHHHHHH HAAAA HAAAAAAAA!!!!!

TOLKIEN: BABE SHUT UP TOLKIEN: I'M TRYING TO FOCUS ON THE ROAD TOLKIEN: I DON'T WANT TO GET A SPEEDING TICKET TODAY

CLYDE: WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

CLYDE: I MISS CRAIG SO MUCH CLYDE: HE WAS THE WORST BEST FRIEND I'VE EVER HAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDD

TOLKIEN: STOP CRYING TOLKIEN: I LOVE YOU TOLKIEN: BUT I NEED TO FOCUS RIGHT NOW TOLKIEN: I DON'T WANT TO CRASH MY CAR

CLYDE: WAAAHAHHHHHAHVAGUCGJFIYGXTUDXFRCYUHY*GCFGJUOTUDVHUPI*YIFGCJBLOUGTCGJOUFJGOUFDTYGUOCFJGYOFX

TOLKIEN: BABY I CAN'T COMFORT YOU RIGHT NOW TOLKIEN: I'M DRIVING CLYDE: YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT MEEEE HEEEE HEEEEEE CLYDE: OR CRAAA HEYYY HEYYYA AAAIG 

CLYDE: OR JIMM HEE HEE HEE…

CLYDE: HE'S DEAD YOU MONSTER HER HERRRRR!! TOLKIEN: I CARE, THAT'S WHY I'M TRYING NOT TO CRASH RIGHT NOW

CLYDE: YOU'RE LYING TO MEEEEEE TOLKIEN: I AM NOT TOLKIEN: BUT I AM TOLKIEN: THIS  CLOSE TOLKIEN: TO TAPING YOUR MOUTH SHUT

CLYDE: WAHHAAGHVHUGGCHFUIHCGFHUIYHVHVGUHGV GGUI PLEASE DONT I'LL BE A GOOD BOYYYYYYYY TOLKIEN: YOU'RE A BIG STRONG MAN TOLKIEN: PLEASE STOP CRYING CLYDE: (sniffle) Okayyyyyyy

TOLKIEN: GOD DAMN TOLKIEN: WE NEED TO TELL DAIMEN CLYDE: Whyy??????????

TOLKIEN: He's one of the few people in our friend group I can actually fucking TOLERATE

TOLKIEN: I’m pretty sure he's working at the 711 right now

CLYDE: STEP ON THE GAS BABY TOLKIEN: I'M TRYING

Meanwhile...with the gays

THOMAS: HAOUGUUGUGHGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

TWEEK: WHAT THE FUCK???

TWEEK: WHY ARE YOU THROWING UP KOOL AID?????

TWEEK: ARE YOU OKAY THOMAS???? TWEEK: THOMAS?????? THOMAS: NOHuuuuuu...... uuUHHHOUUUUGHHGHHFGGH–

PIP: Ugh he's getting me all red!

PIP: Gregory, make him stop right now!

PIP: He's getting kool aid all over my very expensive suit!

GREGORY: You know he has a condition!

GREGORY: You KNOW He has “throwing up koolaid-itus”!!!

GREGORY: He told me so!

PIP: UGHHHHHHHHH!!!

PIP: You all are going to make this plan go to SHIT!

TWEEK: SHUT UP!!

TWEEK: The douchebag is in our presence

PIP: I DONT CARE I'LL JUST EAT HIM LIKE I DID HIS STUPID FUCKING FRIEND

PIP: JIMBO OR WHATEVER HIS NAME WAS

GREGORY: Jimmy, sir

PIP: I KNEW THAT SHUT UP

GREGORY: Yes sir-

PIP: Infact

PIP: ALL OF YOU SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP RIGHT NOW!!!

THOMAS: Buhhh….. blehhh …..ughhh….

THOMAS: Eughhh…

THOMAS: I hated that…

TWEEK: DON'T TELL ME TO SHUT UP YOU STUPID BRITISH CROOKED TEETH MOTHER OF-

GREGORY: Ah ah ah 

GREGORY: No no no Tweeky!

GREGORY: Bad idea!

GREGORY: You dont wanna mess with Sir Pip whilst he's upset!

TWEEK: RRGHHHGHGHGH LEMME AT HIM!!!

GREGORY: Ah ah ah!

GREGORY: No way!

TWEEK: RRRRGGRHHHHHHHH!!!!!  

TWEEK: I'M GONNA SNAP HIM IN HALF LIKE A PRETZEL!!!

PIP: Not before I snap YOU in half like a goddamn Crumpet!

THOMAS: U- uh….

THOMAS: Guys??

TWEEK: YOU ARE SERIOUSLY THE WORST LEADER EVER!!

PIP: OH DON'T EVEN START YOU METH ADDICTED DEFIANT TROLL!

TWEEK: YOU DID NOT

PIP: OH I MOST CERTAINLY DID

THOMAS: Guuuuys?

PIP: I HOPE YOU FUCKING BURN BECUASE OF THE LAND WENCE YOU CAME, YOU SUPER SONIC MUFFIN MUNCHER TWEEK: KILL YOURSELF YOU CRUSTY PEANUT PIP: I'M ALREADY DEAD YOU MORONIC BRAINDEAD LUNATIC TWEEK: DIE TWICE PIP: FUCK YOU!!!

THOMAS: GUYS!!!!!!

PIP AND TWEEK: WHAT???????

THOMAS: What do we do with…. SHIT-! COCK-!!

THOMAS: What do we do with him?

CRAIG: What is going on? CRAIG: I'm like

CRAIG: Mad dissociating right now

CRAIG: What

CRAIG: What are you guys

CRAIG: How are you all here…?

GREGORY: Oh the mister has finally snapped out of his trance!

GREGORY: Apologies, dear friend!

GREGORY: Sir Pip had requested we keep you contained! He remembers you being the worst of the lot!

GREGORY: And with your fashion choice, I can certainly see why.

CRAIG: What are you….

CRAIG: Ohhhh…. 

CRAIG: Yeah this hoodie was a mistake

CRAIG: And the phone case….

CRAIG: Goddamnit…

PIP: He's come to his senses 

PIP: WHY HAS HE COME TO HIS SENSES??!?!

PIP: THAT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!!!!

PIP: AAAAAAGHHHH!!!!

PIP: DAMNIT DAMNIT DAMNIT DAMNIT!!!

GREGORY: Oh dear

GREGORY: Sir Pip is upset again

GREGORY: There there Sir Pip

PIP: SHUT YOUR MOUTH YOU ABSOLUTE KISS ASS PIP: I WILL RIP THAT PONYTAIL FROM YOUR SCALP!

GREGORY: Apologies, Sir Pip

CRAIG: Wait a second

CRAIG: Is that a fucking dead body??????

CRAIG: HOLY SHIT IS THAT JIMMY????

PIP: Well one of the side effects of opening a portal to hell,

PIP: Someone kicks the bucket!

CRAIG: Christ..

PIP: Why did you capture him,  Gregory?

PIP: You know I hate this one

GREGORY: He was the closest one, Sir Pip!

PIP: You could've just grabbed them ALL!

PIP: Now our plan will fucking CRUMBLE because of you!

PIP: You SENTIENT. STAPLER.

GREGORY: I 

GREGORY: Sir Pip….

PIP: NO! NO I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOU ANYMORE!

PIP: Anyway, since you ARE here

PIP: You may as well make yourself of good use to me

CRAIG: What?

PIP: Where are Stan and his little friends?

PIP: Out of all of you dicktwats, THEY treated me worst

PIP: So… where are they?

(EDITS MADE BY @pissblanket)

#craig tucker #craigfluencer #hellpark #south park #southpark #south park edits #sp #underworld park #underworld park clyde #underworld park thomas #underworld park gregory #underworld park pip

[virtuous420]

can i pretty please with a cherry on top and a sprinkle of meth, have yandere diluc and yandere kaeya fighting for reader?

They chose me they don't want you.

A/N; you nasty for this one... but whatever🤪

Diluc x reader x Kaeya

fem reader

Warnings; blood, yandere's ofc, probably knife fighting, maybe some gore?

Diluc and Kaeya don't like each other. They don't like sharing things, and they don't like sharing you. When you're with Diluc, he hugs your waist tightly whenever he sees Kaeya nearby. When you're with Kaeya, he leans closer to you, almost to an uncomfortable degree.

You don't know how you got into this position, of course you're beautiful, and yes you have an amazing personality. But how in the fuck did you manage to pull these men? You try not to think about it a lot. You just wanted to live your life to be honest, you didn't need the drama. But the Archons did not hear your prayers, and now you're the reason they're fighting. fuck.

in the dawn winery, Kaeya draws first blood. His sword slashes Diluc's cheek, normally Diluc would've been able to dodge that but he didn't. Kaeya has a glint in their eyes, and a slight tremor in his bones. He had no idea why he's acting like this, and why he likes it so much.

They stand still for a moment, probably debating on going through with this. And they go, fast as the wind. The fire from Diluc's sword is as hot as you can expect it to be, and it burns Kaeya's hands.

He clutches his hands in pain, "so? is this how we die? fighting over a woman?" he laughs, "well it doesn't really matter anyways, we both know we would do anything for her."

There is truth in his words. Diluc would give you jewels, the prettiest kinds. He would drown you in flowers, if you so wish. He would exhaust all of his wealth just to please you. He would kill every man or woman (equality!!) that dares look at you. Just don't leave him.(abandonment issues hahah loser)

Kaeya is the same. He worships the ground you walk on, he would follow you even to his death. He would pretend to be the happiest person in Mondstadt, to keep up the pretense he was content without you by his side. To keep you close that is all he wants. All he wants.

The ground before them trembles as their blades clash with one another.

I forgor abt this 😱💀 this was a joke fanfic tbh. Maybe I'll write more serious stuff in the future 🤔 JK LOL I CANT EVEN FINISH A FANFIC I ACTUALLY LIKE 😹😹

feel free to request, I dont write smut tho

#diluc x reader #kaeya x reader #genshin x reader #diluc ragnvindr #kaeya alberich

[circutive]

random tpc headcanons

-spheer has a treenut allergy. idk, they just look like they would lol -ajaceare has a love-hate relationship with the harry potter franchise. like you bet your ass she'd know every single fact about it. -pentellow is pansexual. pantellow. -circubit cut his hair in his corrupted form. -iris is convinced via pentellow's cooking that al dente pasta is undercooked -pyrare would own a van if he had any type of vehicle -cubic would blast eminem in their headspace. just to piss cube off. -once circubit unmasks (if he even does mask at all) he becomes the most autistic motherfucker you'll ever meet. like once you accidentally bring up his spinterest there's no going back -circubit has chromesthesia (i once brought this up to brittany - the tpc creator brittany, not my headmate brittany - she probably saw it as a request so it might not end up as canon. oh well) -pentellow would abso-fucking-lutely be voiced by athena karkanis. ok maybe its because her nickname is a baking item, or because of her general personality, but yeah. (ok maybe she reminds me of sheree, so what) -ajaceare owns a bunch of potted plants. not just any potted plants, though. the specific gay ones. like the ones that lesbian witch cat-owners have. so in other words ajaceare is the epitome of lesbian. -dub has never tried tiger tiger ice cream (the orange and licorice one) and refuses to try it solely because "what kind of ice cream is orange" -cyanide has probably spent at least $150 from dub's bank account on claire's stuff. and 85% of it is pusheen merch. -iris grew up with watching salad fingers and jacksepticeye. -purpex is an esfp. -cintagon is autistic. idk they just dont seem allistic to me -pentellow's favourite total drama island character would be lindsay. -circubit's favourite total drama island character is chris mclean; he probably said "alright campers, todays challenge is..." every 3 seconds in his tdi phase. -cyanide enjoys murder drones -dub has tried to use corruption to make his hair fluffier -cube and cubic are literally just yin-yang from inanimate insanity. (aight brittany, where's the episode where the two find a vending machine and cubic wants dr fizz but cube wants water-) -circubit listens to lostwave -pyrare once caught barracuda and dub trying to make meth in his kitchen (it failed miserably, if pyrare wasnt there the house would've burned down) -circusic hates eminem; circubit knows all the lyrics to the real slim shady, without me, stan, lose yourself, and a shit ton of other classics. -if the tpc universe had plurality as a known concept, "corruption-genic" would be one of the most researched pages on their pluralpedia. -dub dies a little inside every time someone makes a mitosis joke about his eyes -you could easily lose ajaceare in a hot topic. like next thing you know she's on the top rack of the goth dress-shirts looking down like a fucking bat -circubit has spent an hour in spencer's just browsing, wondering "would i actually look good in this or do i think it just looks good on its own". he has also been to the back just for shits n' giggles. -ajaceare would only go to spencer's for the lava lamps and mystic stuff -iris' favourite lego ninjago character is kai -cube has never seen inanimate insanity, for some fucking reason -cyanide can play river flows in you on piano -cyanide's singing range is mezzo-soprano to soprano; her voice would be similar to vocaloid sonika -pyrare's favourite vocaloids are kaito and yowane haku -cubic recommended that cube should listen to otone peke, saying they were "the best vocaloid fr fr" -pentellow watches ouran highschool host club

#tpc ajaceare #jsab tpc #tpc iris #tpc pentellow #tpc circubit #tpc #brittcorruption #the pink corruption #pink corruption #jsab #circubit tpc #tpc cyanide #tpc dub #tpc pyrare #tpc spheer #tpc purpex #tpc cintagon #tpc cube #tpc cubic #jsab au #jsab headcanon #tpc headcanons #headcanon

[modernghostfare]

Speaking about Price coke anxiety. Drug headcanons go who smokes what

okay okay. i talked it out w cero bc i rly do have a LOT of feelings about like. esp price and ghosts drug use/views. im gonna start w price bc i was thinking about him this morning. also putting this under a readmore bc it got long also, obvi, tw drugs

so like price as a person is very impulsive and very, very indulgent but i think those are traits that he Doesn't want people to recognize in him. he doesnt Want to be seen that way he wants to be seen as a very noble person. ALL THIS to say i think like when he was younger, fresh in the military, needing a way to stay awake he would use coke for that and it just turned into very frequent, regular use of cocaine to keep him awake and also just bc he Likes it hes an adrenaline junkie. he likes the confidence boost coke brings. but people like macmillan wouldnt like that bc he would See his potential and would wean him off a more frequent use and i think nowadays price would be like. really embarrassed by this past issue of his bc it shows a lack of control that he, like, would hate for others to see. but he will still enjoy coke if someone has some to share. and its a cycle for him, do coke, get anxious on top of his Already pretty high anxiety (i think he just lives with a constant sense of doom), smoke weed to try to calm himself. sometimes weed makes him paranoid too but. well. deal with the cards he is handed.

GHOST is like. oh my god.. his feelings about drugs.. itd be easy to say hes anti drug bc of his upbringing but i just dont think hed skew that way. i think it would show more in his, like, feeling of superiority over "addicts." bc hes functional and holding down a job and hes not "addicted" to anything esp not "bad drugs" like heroin. i think esp downers he looks down on (except weed bc he likes weed so that makes it okay). of course hes doing coke w price.

and uh speaking of downers soap in his og journal mentions really liking oxys and i could still see newsoap being into like prescription drugs. bc i think hed be more anxious about like being Caught and being kicked out than price and ghost bc price and ghost have. like. safety nets of people looking out for them. and people whose piss they can use and soap wouldnt trust others to be clean like that. because of who he is around. oxys, xanax (bc he probably actually does need xanax,), and mayb adderall. if hes not already prescribed adderall. it would be cute if he had undiagnosed adhd and he keeps taking adderall hes bought off someone else like "yeah idk i feel more focused"

gaz is like.. a super neutral party in my head. his drug usage is very social by nature, if its around him and its offered to him he will try it. however hes also very like, strict about his usage like he will do a bump of coke ONCE he will smoke ONE blunt because he doesnt really super care to be high. esp weed. sometimes weed lasts too long for him and it starts to get on his nerves. his biggest vice is probably just normal smoking, either from vaping or regular cigarettes, but he isnt like stressed about it. i mean hes around price all the time dude is huffing cigars like he'll die without them so even if he was worried about lung cancer or even just lung capacity he wouldnt stop smoking.

as for the rest of sas i think the only person regularly doing drugs is otter. meth bc its cheaper. thorne WOULD NOT bc hed be an antidrug type but i think also really like is not an asshole about it hes not giving anyone any speeches unless they ask for one. charly doesnt care much either way but she wont do any hard drugs.

nikto can be summed up like this:

I DONT WANT THIS TO GET TOO LONG !!!!!!! i might make a tier list actually of the others. maybe. if needed. the only other main point i want to make is nikolai is price's plug and thats why hes able to continuously get drugs.

#asks #anon #call of duty modern warfare #mwmp #i didnt think much abt x or ket or any other drug like. mdma or lsd. bc for like esp price and ghost they need to be like. Helpful drugs it #Totally Not For Fun #theres a Reason they do drugs so its not Bad for them to do drugs. also side note it is not bad to do drugs at any time for any reason.

[quartztwst]

Hii, sorry if this is a weird question, but it seems like you know Azul's character rlly well, so I wanted to ask - Do you think he'd be more of a tsundere in any kind of relationship (platonic or romantic) or open about his feelings? Have a nice day!

OHHH NO YOU ASKED THE WRONGGGG PERSONNNNNDKFJNAKADJSFNSNDKF i literally characterize Azul so bad i literally wrote him cooking meth and him being silly……. There’s plenty of people that do a much better way of understanding Azul’s personality and his relationships like @/pianostarinwonderland and some others nfasdfkjsk

I am the LAST PERSON TO BE ASKED THIS BC I DO TOO MUCH STUPID SHIT WITH HIM HRELPRL but I’ll give you my opinion!! Btw it’s not properly typed bc i love rambling

FIRST… AN (ATTEMPT) UNDERSTANDING OF AZUL (BECAUSE I CANNOT “ANALYZE”) IN HOW HE VIEWS RELATIONSHIPS:

From what personal stories and the game shows, Azul views relationships as transactional. YES I KNOW EVERYONE HAS SAID THAT BUT IT’S SUCH A MAJOR TRAIT IN HIS PERSONALITY. It’s just the truth.

In his stupid PE uniform R personal story, Azul sucks at flying (AS EVER) and Vargas pairs him up with Jamil to help his pathetic attempts. Jamil is obviously annoyed and proceeds to try to help Azul but Azul replies with a “what do you want?” CLEARLY THINKING THAT JAMIL WANTS SOMETHING OUT OF HIM FOR HELPING AZUL FLY ON A BROOM. Jamil doesn’t.. Like he doesn’t care he just wants to get this over with

But you get what I’m saying. Azul’s way of relationships isn’t really.. HEALTHY?? He views relationships as beneficial and transactional. You give and you take… but with friendship!!! It’s not a very healthy way to live but hey, what do you do when you’ve been bullied into nothing. He’s probably been in the “hey, my friend likes you” joke that “those” kids do.

(Okay idk why I said that its actually hurting me while thinking that I’m literally taking damage)

Anyways, what I’m saying is that he’s been treated as a joke by his peers and he probably does his contract deals to be treated seriously. I know it doesn’t sound irrelevant because I’m fucking typing what’s coming to mind but I feel like it’s connected to how he views relationships.

Also take a note on how he also views the tweels. (YES THEY ARE BEST FRIENDS THEY JUST DONT WANNA ADMIT IT). They aren’t servant and master like Jamil and Kalim but they are together like a business deal. They assist Azul and in return, it better be fun for them. (AND THEY WILL NEVER LEAVE AZUL I SWEAR THEY ARE BEST FRIENDS THEY ARE-)

We also need to take a note on how his parents are divorced. This can also affect a child’s view on relationships. (YES HE DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HIS BIOLOGICAL DAD JUST LET ME SPEAK)

He has never spoke of his biological father and praises his step father in which he calls “father.” It’s either Azul doesn’t give a fuck about his dad or just forgot about him which is understandable. (Why remember when he doesn’t serve a purpose in your life but your birth?)

But it seems like his mom and step father have a good relationship since he mentions that they get along well and are a good couple which probably will inspire Azul

So what i will piece here is that Azul finds relationships and friendships as transactional but if he were to find an actual SERIOUS romantic relationship, he’ll try to make it work. Also him and the tweels are besties.

SECOND… THE ACTUAL FUCKING QUESTION… TSUNDERE OR OPEN???:

(This is in a Azul Ashengrotto x Reader (Prefect) way)

Personally, I kinda like tsunderes……………… so like a tsundere Azul I would love a lot. Idk i love it when characters get flustered but I wouldn’t think Azul would be a tsundere unless it depends on the person.

In friendships, he would probably see you a business transaction. Someone that will benefit him but he would be kind of sweet??

I MEAN LIKE in a way he would gift you a small souvenir from a school trip.

You know during the City of Flowers trip, he bought the Tweels a souvenir. I would like to think you were at the level of the tweels………. But you’re not.

He gifts you a sweet souvenir and he suddenly says you owe him LMAOOOO

He offers to tutor you and you suddenly owe him

He offers to give you a SMALL discount and then you suddenly owe him

A LOT OF TRANSACTIONS but he cares about you and it benefits you.

He would probably tease you a little too

HOWEVER… ROMANTICALLY IS CONFUSING..

Let’s say he has a crush on you. He’s kind of embarrassed and probably tries his best to hide it a lot BECAUSE HIS ASS IS BY THE TWEELS ALL DAY. A SENSE OF WEAKNESS AND HE’S PROBABLY TEASED LMAO.

Floyd: “Hey, Azul, why are you staring at Shrimpy for so long?”

Azul, has no idea what the fuck is happening to him: “.. Me either.”

At the start, it’s probably so confusing for Azul.

He probably had crushes in elementary school but since he was bullied, he probably saw himself as undesirable which made him keep the feelings to himself to prevent further bullying.

So he’ll try to hide it. SO like OH HE’S FACING YOU?? He’s turning away. He was a bit too comfortable to you?? BYE YOU NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN. He brushed his hand on yours? Omg he’s like 6 feet away from you. I’M EXAGGERATING but he’s a little distant.

And it’s not like he’s visibly flustered. He’s very good at what he does.

I wouldn’t say he would be tsundere but shy and fucking scared LMAO

He’s trying his best to not show signs of affection to you because he doesn’t know how you feel about him

After accepting it, he doesn’t know what to do next. He doesn’t know if he should confess or just let it fade away because his previous crushes faded away.

Azul is a very observant mf so I feel like he would try to observe how you act around him to make his judgement on if he should make his move. (Ew that’s creepy.. but i meant it if you actually feel comfortable around his company or if you feel hostile around him)

His FIRST MOVE… is a FUCKING TRANSACTION.

Azul: “Prefect, I’ve been noticing how awful your study habits are! I’ve been wondering if you need any tips or assistance with it. I would be happy to help you study and be your tutor! … F-For a price of course!”

He’s trying ok. Take it or leave it.

He thinks as long he is beneficial to you, you might find him a bit worthy to have your attention and also it’s to up his confidence

He continues to make these small and helpful transactions and deals until he gets a little more confident.

I feel like he would think his flirting is obvious but his reputation pictures him as a sneaky guy that it doesn’t look genuine.

He is trying his best to look genuine but with his reputation… ermm.. sure buddy.

Azul probably has a plan to get you to date him idk like not in a EVIL SCARY way but in a desperate and pathetic attempt

So basically uh

HE’S TRYING HIS BEST TO BE OPEN 👍

When y’all start dating i feel like he’ll end up more open to you. Gifting you stuff and being on dates.

I adore tsundere Azul still

This is mostly just rambling and things i would think would fit Azul in MY OPINION I’m not good at writing Azul seriously

#azul ashengrotto #twisted wonderland #twst #I SUCK AT WRITING AZUL IM SO SORRY #azul ashengrotto x reader