#dootdootdoot

[actualbird]

do it for him (luke)....

#just feeling a certain AAUUUGHHHH with work this week #dootdootdoot #tears of themis #tears of themis memes #luke pearce

[smoshpvnk]

sooo does anyone wanna walk by me while i’m on a soundstage for a disney channel sketch comedy show and me, not believing too much in metaphysical stuff gets a little dootdootdoot radar going off that makes me think i’m gonna talk to you way more and then you’re the first person i meet at the not audition actual table read

#shaymien #txt #smosh mouth #p

[imeverywoman420]

i wish i could get into djs and stuff but its so boring to me like wowwww ur going dootdootdoot? Ok. Beep boop bop.

[thechaoticsuper]

Ah yes the two genders (mahna-mahna, and doot-doot-dootdootdoot)

#vibes

[transcreamo]

BUP BA DADA. BUP BUP BADA. (dootdootdoot) FOREIGN OBJECT

[lyumia2]

its a mental breakdown dootdoot dootdootdoot

[faketree]

i love the pet Sounds album Bcuz its a little Depressing but U cant tell bcuz it has so Much babababa and dootdootdoot and lalalalala so U cant tell. and that Just the way of beachBoys.

[actualbird]

tomorrow im going to my very first TV commercial shoot at like an actual studio with set design and the talents and theyre gonna do the commercial i wrote, like i'll be able to see What I Wrote come to Actual Life Before My Very Eyes and im really excited!! it's my first time experiencing the production side of advertising work so im looking forward to how itll go

i am not, however, excited for the schedule of this shoot because. im getting picked up and starting work at 5:30am and we finish at like 8-9pm

THATS....THATS MORE THAN 12 HOURS....THATS THE WHOLE DAY.....the whole day of not just having to work but also of having to get a good grade at talking to people and socializing. perhaps even //winces, NETWORKING.

im just a lowly work from home copywriter.....im not built for this...how will i survive......

#I MUSNT DO ANYTHING THAT CAN BE MISCONSTRUED AS WEIRD OR INTIMIDATING....THIS IS GONNA BE DIFFICULT #AS I AM OFTEN TOLD THAT IN CASUAL CONVERSATION I CAN COME OFF AS WEIRD OR INTIMIDATING... #im sorry i cant control it i really dont know how to be a normal person but im trying very hard all the time and being so brave abt it #dootdootdoot

[actualbird]

// cn server spoilers and i am so late because of work but NEW LUKE TOPUP CARD PV OOOOWWWAAAUUUUGGHHHH

i had such a long day at work onsite but getting back home to see SERIOUS AGENT RAVEN HACKERMAN and FLUFFY SWEET LUKEROSA GAMER COUPLE just gave me the will to live

#dootdootdoot #not tagging it since it's late already but GRAHHH GRAHHHH THEYRE EVERYTHING TOMEEEE #and i cannot stress enough. how hot. luke is. in that 2nd cg. holy fuck. hackerman call me

[actualbird]

I FINALLY FUCKING BEAT SIMULATED UNIVERSE WORLD 3, GET FUCKED, GEPARD!!!!!!!

to celebrate, im throwing a party right here on the dash

here, ive prepared food, kuha lang kayo!!!!!!!

#KAIN NANG MARAMI GUYS AT KUNG GUSTO NIYO PA THE DRINKS ARE ON MEEEEEE #im legit so fucking happy i beat him if i cld throw a real party rn i would kJBKLSBFD #dootdootdoot

[actualbird]

confession: i refrained from talking about It here (though i livetweeted the ordeal on my priv lsbdfsdlf) but now that things have calmed down, i wanted to share what's happened

from february 4 to february 12 of 2024, i experienced the most heartbreaking and heart wrenching week of my life. my mother tried to commit suicide several times, and the days were first spent taking care of her while in an overdosed state while she said over and over that she wanted to die before i finally broke and begged her to go to the hospital. up until that point, i was looking after her on my own. i was feeding her, getting her to sit up to drink water, walking her to the bathroom, checking if she was still breathing, and enduring it when she got mad at me and told me she was “fine.” i was hanging on by a thin thread. i’ve always been the house’s caretaker—always known as the pragmatic and responsible one—but this was more than I could ever handle.

“i don’t know how to help anymore,” i told my older sister when i myself had my own breakdown on the night of my mother’s hospitalization. as i hyperventilated and sobbed, the feeling of helplessness shook my body and my words. “i can’t help anymore.”

and then something really wonderful happened: people came and helped

when news got out of my mother's attempts, suddenly my phone was blowing up with texts and messages from people i didnt know. they were her friends: old friends from college, friends from the university she teaches at, her family from the province. they were all asking me and my siblings if they could help with anything: driving, food, money, emotional support. her family in the province drove hours from the province to meet us in the city just to lend a hand in keeping us calm. her friends from the university were the ones who drove her to the hospital and helped us out with a loan and financial aid for the ER bills.

my brother who lives in japan flew in back to the philippines despite having an academic conference just to help. his girlfriend drove him from the airport to the hospital despite having to study for an exam. my older sister's boyfriend came over just to buy us all donuts and food to make sure we were all eating while looking after everything. my girlfriend bought my sisters and i trinkets from a convention just to make us smile during these hard times, and she kept reminding me to sleep and eat and drink and take my meds. my online friends who knew were messaging me asking if i was okay, if i wanted to see some bird posts for serotonin or if i needed somebody to vent to or even to help with money too. hell, even my coworkers asked me if i was okay. they asked about my mom, and i told them, but then my supervisor asked "but how are YOU?" and i burst into tears

all this reminds me of that weird "discourse" i see around about how youre not supposed to ask friends for help because we're all adults and. i am 24. and in these weeks, i felt more like a helpless child than ive ever felt in my life

and yet

people came and helped

when youre needed, youre needed

and we didnt even ask. they just....showed up.

everybody we knew—friends, acquaintances, colleagues, family—they all showed up when we needed them

idk. i guess in this world it's really easy to feel really alone. i sure did. but youre really really not. i had no idea how many people were looking out for us, but they're here. they were here for us. ive lost count of how many people came to help, and isnt that a beautiful thing. i lost count of how many people helped

#i think this is what being human is about #dootdootdoot #things have calmed down now and everybodys okay now #and a large part of that is thanks to everybody who came in to help #cw suicide ment

[actualbird]

// enduring light spoilers

THERES FIVE MULTIPLE ENDINGS. AND THEN A SECRET ENDING. AND THEN A SECRET SECRET ENDING. THAT TIES INTO THE SUBWAY SURFERS MINIGAME PLOT. IM OBSESSED

#i felt so sad after doing the 5 first endings because everybody kept DYING so thank god for the secret endings but #goddamnit i have to DRIVE to get the true ending?? help. im so bad at this minigame jkHVJSHDF #dootdootdoot #tot spoilers

[actualbird]

thank you, singular user, for the insane amount of super boops omg?????

#I WAS LIKE WHY DO I HAVE 99+ NOTIFS. OH. ALL BOOPS. HAHAKLSBFJ #dootdootdoot

[actualbird]

been busy with new year's eve celebration prep. not going all according to plan

#dootdootdoot #I FORGOT THEY SPREAD

[actualbird]

since this year was the year i drew the Most in my entire life, heres an artvsartist!!! ft. an old selfie i took back in may when my hair was still dyed

i essentially drew the same things over and over again in similar poses using the same methods <3 but it was fun and i enjoyed it tons so thats what matters hehe

#dootdootdoot #it me #next year: i will continue to draw the same things over and over so long as it makes me smile

[actualbird]

beware cuz tw disordered eating, tw smoking addiction posting ahead but like.....

the thing about smoking vs eating is that. smoking is SO MUCH EASIER TO DO.

eating has so many steps. make food (AUGH), put food on plate, sit down and focus to eat food, food enters mouth, must chew, must swallow, must ignore constant low-level nausea to keep food down, repeat until food on the plate is gone. currently im so low-energy and fatigued that this whole process of eating is exhausting to me, and at the end of it i get a tummy ache anyway and risk vomiting all of it out, so theres always a risk of all that hard work (it is...objectively not hard work, i know, but right now in my Mental State it feels like climbing a mountain every time i have a meal) being all for naught.

meanwhile the steps for smoking are Marginally Much Less. it's: get cigarette, light cigarette, inhale, exhale, repeat until cigarette is done. and usually once im done, i wont feel hungry for another half hour because nicotine does that to me.

but it's short-term benefits vs long-term benefits because obviously after enough cigarettes-instead-of-eating, the effects of Not Having Eaten And Smoking Instead stack up to hit me with one hell of a whammy of acidity and Even More Nausea and like

i am Well Aware im trapping myself in a cycle of self-destruction every time i reach for a cig instead of sitting down and eating but smoking is just. easier. and it relaxes me instead of stressing me out, and eating sometimes does stress me out because of the amount of work and focus it involves

this is all horrible by the way, im not endorsing this behavior im just airing out my thoughts. in fact, i am a case study in all the things you should Not be doing to your body

but addiction is just a really crazy thing lmao. like what the fuck do you mean i prefer killing myself slowly rather than having a filling meal. thats crazy. no sane person would have those priorities in that order

and yet

#tw disordered eating #tw smoking #ive eaten lunch btw. i just had such a dang hard time the entire time #why is eating so hard. i like food. i KNOW i like food so why is getting it into my system so difficult #whenever im in the hospital i actually enjoy having an IV because it means i dont have to eat as much because the act is just #such a dang chore. theres so many steps. sometimes i stop mid-chew because im so tired or because i wanna throw up #dootdootdoot #anyhoo to all those out there who can eat without trouble: i love you. keep on doing that. dont take it for granted. it's a good thingto ea #i wish i could eat normally