#dottielovegoodfanfiction

[dottielovegood]

Shadowsinger [erotic audio for women, nsfw] - part 4

Chapter title: Phone sex

Chapter one, Chapter two, Chapter 3 Read this fic here on AO3

Summary: Azriel does audio porn. Elain is a big fan.

(Disclaimer: No, this is not an audio fic) ________________________________________________

“Tell me again how I’m the best wingwoman in the world.” Cerridwen smiled broadly at Elain as she walked into the living room, carrying a teapot. 

Elain was spending her day off with her friends and it was the first time they had been able to talk to each other properly since Elain’s birthday last week. And of course, the twins had bombarded her with questions about Azriel as soon as she stepped through the door. Elain had tried her best to play it cool - too seem as if she didn’t care much about him, but she had been unable to hide the smile that the mere thought of him brought to her face. 

Cerridwen was very happy with herself, to say the least. 

“You left me all alone with a stranger,” Elain said and poured herself some tea. “Some people would call that stupid and dangerous.” The warm, spicy scent of the tea filled the room and once again, Elain was reminded of Azriel’s dark, sensual scent. 

God, she was ridiculous. Why couldn’t she stop thinking about him? 

Nuala rolled her eyes and reached for the ornate teapot. “Elain, you wouldn’t have talked to him if Cerridwen hadn’t pushed you a little. And then you wouldn't have been almost caught for indecent behavior in public; which would have been a shame.”

The memories of that night made Elain blush. Thinking back on that night, she barely recognized herself. Never in her wildest dreams did she think that she would let a stranger push her against a wall and ravish her like that. At first she blamed the alcohol, and yes, it probably did play a part in her actions that night. However, she also knew, without a doubt, that she would have done it all again. Sober. 

She had expected to feel ashamed when she woke up. Yet, apart from the hangover, she had only felt excited. As if her reckless behavior woke something inside of her that had been sleeping for too long. She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him. 

Shadowsinger.  Azriel. 

How his lips had felt so hot against hers and the way his strong hands had gripped her thigh as he pressed himself against her. 

And she definitely hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the fact that Azriel was Shadowsinger. That Azriel had given her mind blowing orgasms without even touching her. That she had touched herself to his voice, night after night.  And now, she was texting him night after night instead. Funny how things work out sometimes. 

“Well, believe it or not, but I’m quite happy that I wasn’t caught and charged with indecent behavior.”

“Well, you were caught,” Cerridwen reminded her. “A lot of people saw you.”

Elain threw a small pillow at her friend. “Don’t remind me.”

That was probably the only thing she regretted from that night - that they hadn’t found somewhere more private. But then again, she hadn’t expected them to do that . When he said that he wanted to kiss her, she had imagined their lips touching for a few seconds. She hadn’t imagined everything else that happened. She hadn’t imagined feeling as if electricity was coursing through her body and the only way to release it was to be closer to him. She had never felt like that before. She had never felt such burning passion, not even for her ex-boyfriend. This was something different. Something new. 

Something she wanted to experience again. 

As if on cue, her phone buzzed. Elain put her cup down and reached for her phone on the table. She didn’t miss the way the twins smirked at each other when they caught a glimpse of Azriel’s name on her screen. 

“If it’s a shirtless picture it is your duty as our best friend to show us,” Nuala said and took a sip of her hot tea. Elain just glared at her friend as she tapped the notification. 

Azriel So, I have a very important question.  Elain smiled as she typed her answer. Elain Please, ask away! Unless you are going to ask me if dachshunds are cuter than corgis, because that’s an impossible question to answer.  Azriel Damn, that was exactly what I was going to ask. It’s the short legs, isn’t it?

Elain smiled to herself as she typed her answer. 

Elain What can I say? Those short little legs are my kryptonite. Azriel Noted

The cutest gif of a corgi walking on a treadmill appeared on her screen just as Cerridween peeked at her phone. 

“Seriously? Dog gifs?”

Elain hugged her phone to her chest. “What’s wrong with dogs?”

“Nothing. I was just expecting something sexier.”

“Well, don’t blame me for your dirty mind.”

“So tell us something about him then,” Nuala interjected. “Is he a good kisser? Are you going to see him again? Are you…”

Elain held up her hand. “Fine. Just let me answer this last text and then I might answer some of your questions.” She narrowed her eyes at Nuala. “ Some of them. And not the filthy ones.”

“Boo, you’re no fun.”

Elain stood up and walked over to one of the armchairs across from the sofa just to make sure that the twins couldn’t read their conversation over her shoulder. They never sent each other anything even remotely sexy, but she still wanted to keep it private. 

Azriel Jokes aside, I actually did have something to ask you. Chinese or mexican? Elain Are we talking men, or…

She bit her lip to hide her smile as she waited for the small dots in the corner to turn into a new message. 

Azriel Food, Elain. We’re talking about food.  Elain Well, then I will have to go with chinese I guess. Why?  Azriel I just wanted to know where to get us a table for Saturday. If you’re free, that is. 

Elain almost dropped her phone when the message appeared. She had to read it three times just for the words to actually register. Was he asking her out? Sure, he had asked her once before, but he had been drunk and she had fallen asleep before she was able to answer. When she had woken up the next day, there had been another message waiting for her and Elain had forgotten all about that first message. Until now. 

Shit. She should have answered. 

“Okay, now you have to tell us what he’s writing.” Cerridwen’s voice brought her back to reality. 

“I–I think he just asked me out.”

“You think ?”

Elain nodded. “He said he wanted to know where to get us a table for Saturday.”

“Oh my god,” Nuala groaned. “He couldn’t even be more obvious. Yes, he is asking you out.”

“Are you going to go?” Cerridwen asked. 

“I– should I? I mean, we have only known each other for nine days.”

“This isn’t the regency era, El. He’s not going to court you for weeks before taking you on a stroll along the river while a chaperon walks right behind you to make sure you’re not being indecent.”

“But if you want a chaperone, I volunteer as tribute.” Nuala raised her hand in a gesture Elain recognized from the Hunger Games movies. 

“That is quite literally the last thing I want. But thank you.”

Elain chewed the inside of her bottom lip as she considered her answer. They had only known each other for a few days and all of their conversations except for one had been via text. Sure, texting Azriel was great. A lot of guys were useless when it came to texting but Azriel really knew how to carry a conversation. But still… was it weird that she wanted to go on a date with a man who did audio porn? Or well, used to do audio porn. Could they actually have a relationship when she already knew how good he was at dirty talk? 

She wished that she could ask the twins about this but she really didn’t want to tell them about Azriel’s audios on the Night Court app. She didn’t know if it was a secret, but it still felt wrong to tell others. And she really didn’t want them to find his audios. She knew that she would never hear the end of it if they found out that she was going on a date with someone who did porn.

The more Elain thought about it, the more confused she became. She felt as if his former job should bother her and she couldn’t understand why it didn’t. Why didn’t it bother her that he might have gotten thousands of girls off by just using his voice? 

Maybe she wasn’t as much of a prude as she thought she was?

Her phone buzzed again. 

Azriel Elain? Did I freak you out? You know that you can say no, right? It’s totally fine. 

And with that, Elain knew her answer. He had asked her out twice now. That clearly meant something. And it clearly meant something that even the thought of saying no turned her stomach into knots. 

Elain Sorry. I’m with my friends and wasn’t looking at my phone. 

It was a pretty lie. 

Elain I would love to have dinner with you

The three dots indicating that he was writing appeared and disappeared a few times before a new message popped up. 

Azriel I’m happy to hear that. There is this new cantonese place that I want to try out. 

The next message was a link to the menu and Elain had to bite her lip to keep herself from smiling too much. She always checked the menu before going somewhere new and the fact that he had just sent her the menu was so…

“Earth to Elain.”

Elain’s head snapped up. The twins were watching her with identical amused expressions. 

“So, are you going on a date with mr. sexy mystery man?” Cerridwen asked. 

“His name is Azriel.”

Nuala sat up straighter and poured herself the last of the tea. “If that isn’t the most perfect name for a sexy, mysterious man, I don’t know what is.”

Elain smiled at her friends and put her phone down on the table between them. “Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, I’m going on a date.” Elain couldn’t help but smile as the words tumbled from her mouth. 

“Praise Jesus,” Cerridwen all but shouted. “Let’s hope you get some real orgasmic bliss soon then.”

Elain rolled her eyes. “It’s a date, not a booty call.”

“Don’t pretend like you don’t want him to call your booty.”

“What the fuck does that even mean?” Elain laughed. 

“It sounded better in my head.”

Nuala patted her sister’s arm. “Most things do, Cerr.”

“Fuck you.”

A small grin tugged at Nualas lips. “I’m pretty sure that Elain will be doing most of the fucking in the near future.”

Elain felt herself blush. “You guys are the worst.”

She didn’t tell them that she, too, was hoping for an orgasmic bliss. She was quite certain that Azriel would be able to provide. However, it felt wrong to sexualize him like that. Just because he had recorded audio porn before it didn’t mean that he wanted to have sex with her. Maybe he was the kind of guy who wanted to go on a few dates before being intimate?

She wouldn’t mind. She could wait. 

________________________________________

Saturday

The previous night, Elain had gone to bed at a very reasonable hour. She was not going to be a tired mess when she was finally going to meet Azriel again. She had spent the past week with nervous butterflies in her stomach. She didn’t know why she was so nervous, though. 

Well, that was a lie. She knew exactly why she was nervous. She was scared that Azriel wouldn’t like her when they met up in real life. What if he had been drunker than he seemed? What if he found her boring when they were both sober? 

Sure, he never seemed bored when they were texting, but that wasn’t the same as talking to a person face to face. When texting, you could take your time to come up with witty responses. What if she couldn’t find anything interesting to say? What if Graysen had been right - what if she was boring? 

Elain woke up before her alarm went off, which was a rare occurrence these days. She usually tossed and turned so much that when she woke up, she never felt fully rested. She didn’t feel rested today either. There was a dull ache in her throat and she was warm. Too warm. 

No. 

No, no, no. Not now. Not today. 

Her eyes shot up as she reached for her phone. It was 7.30 in the morning. It was 7.30 and Elain was supposed to sleep until ten o’clock. She had it all planned. She was going to sleep in just to make sure that she wouldn’t be tired later that evening. Then she would eat a healthy breakfast and go for a power walk and when she showered afterwards she was going to use her new, jasmine scented body wash. Then she was going to moisturize her body until she was smoother than a baby’s butt and then she was going to put on her new dress and her new underwear, just in case. 

She had planned for everything. 

Everything but this. 

Elain was sick. 

She wasn’t feeling terrible, but she was definitely not feeling great either. She tried swallowing a few times, praying to god that it was just a morning thing. Maybe she had been snoring? Snoring could probably make your throat dry. Yes. A dry throat. That was it. She just needed liquid. 

Elain slowly made her way out of bed and to the kitchen. She filled a glass with cold water while putting on the kettle. She drank all the water in one go, trying to ignore how swollen her throat felt when she swallowed. In a cup, she put some ginger and lemon before filling it with hot water and a dollop of honey. That should definitely do the trick. 

She made her way back to her bed and piled all of her pillows behind her back so she could sit comfortably. She reached for her phone again, trying to distract herself with some endless scrolling. She just needed to drink her little concoction and then she would be fine. Everything would be fine. Fine. 

Two hours later, everything was not fine. She wasn’t feeling worse, but she was definitely not feeling any better either. Her throat ached every time she swallowed and even though she didn’t own a thermometer, she was quite certain that she had a slight fever. 

So, as any woman in her situation would do, she googled how to get rid of a fever and a sore throat within hours. She wasn’t surprised when google didn’t give her the answers she was looking for. 

“Shit,” she muttered to herself and pulled the covers up to her chin. Shit, shit, shit. 

She hadn’t been sick for years. Not even during the height of the pandemic had she been sick. Her friends and family had all gotten covid at one point, but not her. She was the picture of health. So why the fuck was she sick now? It wasn’t fair. And it wasn’t fair that it was just a silly sore throat. If this had been before the pandemic, she might have taken some medication and continued her day. But now, she couldn’t. She couldn’t be the asshole who got others sick just because she didn’t want to stay home. 

She wasn’t tired. Her muscles didn’t ache. She could talk without too much pain. 

A part of her wished that she had gotten really sick. If she was too sick to get out of bed, she wouldn’t be able to spend all day hating herself for not being able to go on a date. 

As soon as the thought entered her mind, Elain hated herself a little bit for it. She obviously didn’t want to be too sick to move. But god, this was unfair. 

Elain groaned and let herself sink back into her bed. Maybe if she just slept a little…

Elain awoke again around noon and for a brief moment, she still had hope that she was fine now. But that hope was gone as soon as she swallowed. With a sigh, she pushed herself back into a sitting position. With a hand to her forehead, she knew that she would just have to live with the fact that she wasn’t leaving her house today. 

She was not going to go on that date with Azriel. 

She felt like crying. 

Elain I’m sick!!! What have I done to deserve such injustice? Is this karma?  Cerridwen NO!!! I was looking forward to hearing all of your nasty little stories later :(  Nuala It’s definitely karma. Remember that time when you borrowed my favorite t-shirt and spilled raspberries all over it? Told you that karma was going to get you.  Elain Guys. Please, I’m really bummed about this.  Nuala Sorry babes. Just trying to lighten the mood. How are you feeling?  Elain Sore throat. Slight fever, I think. Not too bad. Like, I could go on the date but I don’t want someone else to get sick. Cerridwen That sucks. I’m sorry. I know that you were looking forward to this date.  Nuala What did he say when you told him? Elain I didn’t tell him yet. I was trying to wait and see if I was feeling better, but no luck! Cerridwen He’ll probably just postpone the date.  Elain Probably But UGH. i really wanted to goooo I even got a fucking brazilian That shit hurt Cerridwen LOL.  Do you think he got a brazilian too? Nuala A manzilian?

Elain snorted a laugh. God, she loved her friends. They were idiots sometimes, but they were her idiots. 

Elain Thank you for making me laugh! <3  Nuala Anytime! I hope you feel better soon Cerridwen  <3 <3 <3 

She held out hope for a few more hours, but when it neared three in the afternoon, she had to realize that she was not going to go on their date. With a heavy sigh, she reached for her phone once again. 

Elain Azriel, I’m really sorry but I won’t be able to make it tonight. I’m not feeling well and I don’t want to risk getting you and other people sick. I’m so sorry. I was really looking forward to our date. Raincheck? 

She waited for a minute. Two minutes. No response. The message just sat there, unread. It wasn’t unusual for him to not answer right away, she knew that. He sometimes worked during weekends too. Instead of sitting there and staring at her phone, willing an answer to appear, Elain decided to do something to make herself feel better. 

She went to the bathroom and got into the shower. The warm water felt like heaven on her skin. She let it run down her body, hoping that her disappointment would follow the water down into the drain. It didn’t, but she felt a little better by the time she stepped out and put on a fresh pair of pyjamas. It wasn’t the sexy pyjamas she would have worn if she had company, but it didn’t matter. Nobody would see her in her too-short sleep shorts and the tank top with the faded Harry Potter print. 

There was still no answer from Azriel waiting for her on her phone. She put on her headphones and turned on the audio book she had been listening to recently. It was a romantic fantasy story about faeries with wings. It was romantic, adventuruous and smutty - exactly what she needed on a day like this. She made herself something to eat and listened to the narrator explain how these creatures celebrated their version of christmas. By the time she crawled back into bed, her favorite male character had just taken a heavy dish of roasted potatoes from the female's hands and told him that he would take care of it. It was so clear that he was in love with her and Elain found it ridiculous that they didn’t seem to notice their attraction to each other. 

When her phone buzzed with an incoming call, her first reaction was to decline just so she could keep listening. It was probably just her sisters or one of the twins calling to check up on her. 

But it wasn’t. It was Azriel.

Azriel was calling her. 

Quickly, as if he could see her, she smoothed down her hair before accepting the call. 

“Hello?” The greeting came out as a question. 

“Elain, hi. This is Azriel.” 

She smiled. Who even introduced themselves on the phone anymore? 

“Hi, did you get my message?”

“Yeah, that’s why I’m calling. Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine. Or well, not fine. I have a sore throat and I think I might have a fever, but I’m okay.”

“Good.” He sounded relieved. “I just wanted to make sure that you're not dying or something.”

“No death here, unless you count dying from boredom.”

The sound of his chuckle made goosebumps appear all over her body. “Well, I have a very reliable source that says that you cannot, in fact, die from boredom, so that’s good.”

“Well, that’s great news. I guess I’ll have to cancel my date at the morgue too.”

“Has anyone ever told you that you have a morbid sense of humor?”

“Maybe.” She had definitely been told that by both her sisters and the twins. “I’m sorry that I had to cancel our date.” 

“It’s fine, Elain. We can go on a date anytime. I’m just glad you’re okay.”

Elain smiled to herself and tapped the icon for her message app. Quickly, she wrote a message in her group chat with the twins, telling them that Azriel had called to check in on her. She didn’t expect them to reply since they were both working at the coffee shop today, but they would definitely appreciate this little update.  

“Yes, I’m okay. I just really wanted to go on our date.”

“Yeah?” She could hear the smile in his voice. 

“Mhm,” Elain twirled a strand of her hair around her finger. “I even bought a new dress.”

“Really? Can I see it?” 

She laughed at the request. “I’m not wearing it.”

“So? Send me a photo of the dress.”

“Okay, wait.” She went into her camera roll and found the photo she had taken in the fitting room the day she bought the dress. She had sent the photo to Nuala and Cerridwen along with photos of five other dresses. They had all agreed that this one was the best. She zoomed in and cropped the picture so just the hem and part of her legs were showing. 

She smiled to herself as she sent him the photo. 

“That’s a nice…color,” he said. “I like green. But I’m not really seeing much of the dress here.”

“You’ll see it when we actually go on a date.”

“Well played,” he laughed. And god, that laugh. It did things to her. “Your legs look great though.”

“Azriel,” she gasped, pretending to be slightly horrified by his flirtatious tone. “If I didn’t know any better, I would think that you were flirting with me.”

“Oh yeah? Well, if that’s flirting, then how about this…” there was a short pause before he spoke again, his voice lower, almost seductive. “What are you wearing?”

Elain couldn’t keep in the giggle that escaped her lips. “Well, that almost makes this sound like you’re trying to figure out what color underwear I’m wearing.”

“Oh, I’m not. I promise. It’s just easier to imagine what you look like if I know what you are wearing.”

Elain opened her mouth and was just about to tell him that she was wearing sexy lingerie, but she stopped herself. He wouldn’t believe that, and there was absolutely no use in lying. It’s not like anything sexy could come from this phone call anyway.

“Well, if you really have to know. I am wearing my sexiest outfit.” She tried to sound sultry and sexy but she feared that she just sounded like a woman with a sore throat. 

“Well, you have my attention now.”

“I’m wearing these really sexy shorts that are super ill–fitting and a shirt that says ‘I solemnly swear that I am up to no good’.”

Azriel’s laughter filled her ear once more. “Not gonna lie, it sounds kinda hot.”

“Men,” Elain sighed and rolled her eyes. “So what are you wearing?”

“Who says I’m wearing anything?” he answered cheekily, and Elain was certain that her brain malfunctioned for a moment. She didn’t think that he was talking to her while naked, but just the thought of him naked was enough to make her hot all over, and this time she couldn’t blame the fever. 

A notification pinged on her phone. She clicked on it without really reading the message.

It was a photo. Of Azriel. 

“Just kidding,” he said but she barely heard him because he had just sent her a photo of himself. He was wearing black sweatpants and a black t-shirt. Nothing special, but he made it look like something that belonged on a cat-walk. He held the phone in front of his face in the picture, which was a shame. His face was definitely one of Elain’s favorite parts of him. 

“Elain? Are you still there?”

“Oh, uhm. Yes. Still here. Nice…pants.” Nice pants? Was that really the best thing she could come up with? Sometimes, she really hated her brain. 

He chuckled. “Thanks.” There was a beat of silence. “Is it okay for you to talk? It’s not hurting you?”

Elain had to fight the urge to hug her phone. Why was he so sweet?

“No, it��s fine.” A sore throat was not going to keep her from talking to him. If she couldn’t go on a date, at least she could talk to him for a while. It would be worth it, even if she was in more pain tomorrow. 

“Good. I was really looking forward to the date too. Maybe this could be our first date?”

“You want our first date to be over the phone?”

“Why not? We live in the digital era. Some people have entire relationships online.”

“That sounds awful.”

“Yeah, I have to agree with you there. Luckily, you’ll probably get better soon.”

“Hopefully.”

For a few seconds, she just listened to him breathing. It was oddly calming. With him in her headphones, it sounded as if he was right there beside her.

“Azriel,” she started even though she didn’t really know what to say. She just wanted to hear his voice again. 

“Yes?”

“Tell me something about yourself.”

She could hear Azriel let out a breath. “What do you want to know?”

“Anything. Everything.” 

“Everything, huh? I hope your phone is fully charged,” he joked. 

She smiled even though he couldn’t see her. There was one thing she was dying to know. One thing she had been thinking about since that night at Rita’s and she hadn’t felt brave enough to ask him in a text message. 

“Will you tell me why you stopped posting your work to The Night Court app?”

“Ah, so you remember me telling you that, huh?”

“I remember everything about that night.”

There was a beat of silence and the only thing Elain could hear was her own blood rushing in her ears. Maybe she shouldn’t have asked that. He might be uncomfortable talking about that part of his life, especially when he wasn’t drunk. 

“So do I. Every single thing.” His voice was lower now. “Especially the last few minutes.”

“They were very memorable minutes.” Elain was glad that he couldn’t see her when she felt heat creep up her cheeks. It was ridiculous how easily this man could make her blush. 

“They sure were. If I close my eyes, I can still hear that little sound you made when I–”

“Azriel,” Elain interrupted. She needed him to stop. He couldn’t talk to her like that when she was stuck inside her own home. She had already replayed that scene in her head every single day since it happened and hearing him talk about it didn’t make things better. It just made the urge to do it again even stronger and since she wasn’t able to do anything with him right now, he had to stop. She was glad that he couldn’t see the way she pressed her thighs together. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have–”

“No, no. It’s okay. It’s just… I haven’t done anything like that before.”

“Kissed someone? You could have fooled me.”

Elain shook her head before she remembered that he wasn’t actually there. “No, I mean… I haven’t kissed a stranger like that. Especially not in front of people.”

“Oh,” his voice wasn’t playful anymore. “Did I make you uncomfortable?”

She sat up straighter. “No, no. That’s not– I mean, no. I was definitely not uncomfortable. It’s just that I…Honestly I don’t know what I’m trying to say. I guess that I was a bit scared that you only kissed me because you were drunk.” She blurted out that last part and she was happy that they couldn’t see each other. She didn’t want him to see the insecurity that must be written all over her face. 

“Elain,” her name was barely more than a whisper. “I wasn’t drunk. I had one drink and I didn’t even finish it.”

“Oh.” 

“How about you?”

“What about me?”

There was a beat of silence before he spoke again, his voice thick with something akin to worry. “You were probably a bit more intoxicated than me. Did I do something you couldn’t consent to?” 

“No,” Elain answered before he could even finish his sentence. “I was definitely able to give my consent. You didn’t… I mean, I– I wanted you to kiss me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. very,” Elain took a steadying breath. “If we hadn’t been interrupted, I might have consented to a lot more.” She felt herself blush again at the confession. 

“Is that so?” That teasing tone was back in his voice and it sent shivers down Elain’s entire body. 

“Yes,” she breathed.

“I’m glad that we didn’t go any further.” 

Elain furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “Why?”

“Because I’m glad that I’ve been able to get to know you better before…” He didn’t finish the sentence, and he didn’t really have to. Elain understood him perfectly well. Yet, a small part of her really wanted to hear him say it. So she asked. “Before what?”

“I think you know, Elain.” 

Elain closed her eyes and imagined that he was there with her. In her home, in her bed. She hated that they were having their first date over the phone, and she hated that this conversation made her all worked up and that there was absolutely nothing to do about it. At least not now. She might be able to get some release after they hang up, but for now, she would just have to suffer in silence. 

It wasn’t fair. 

“I’m actually very glad that I have learned about your love for short-legged dogs and that you eat toast with strawberry marmalade for breakfast most mornings. I like that I know the names of your sisters and how much you hate the taste of artificial watermelon candy.”

Elain was lost for words. He had actually remembered the things she told him. Most men didn’t seem to care about her opinions – they all seemed to want something else from her. But Azriel was different. Azriel remembered. He cared. 

God, why did she have to be sick? 

“Also,” he continued, “It is only fair that I got to know all these things about you since you already knew one of my secrets before we even met.”

Elain finally found her words again. “I guess you’re right. I did have a slight advantage there,” 

she teased. “Or maybe you had the advantage since I wasn’t able to look at you without blushing.”

She didn’t tell him that she was barely able to even think about him without blushing. 

“You are very cute when you blush.”

“Really? I hate that I blush so easily.”

“You shouldn’t. To be completely honest, if I had been able to see you today, I might have tried to make you blush a few times before the date was over. But maybe I wouldn’t have to try very hard?”

“What would you have done to make me blush?” she asked. She would never have dared to ask him face to face, but the distance between them made her more confident. 

“To start with, I would give you compliments. I would tell you how pretty you are and how I was unable to stop looking at you that day in the coffee shop.”

Elain was definitely not blushing at that confession. Nope, definitely not. It definitely didn’t make her remember all the praise Shadowsinger had whispered in her ears. 

“That would probably have done the trick.” She sounded breathless, even to her own ears.

“Yeah?” he asked, his voice full of promise. “Well, if I really wanted to make you blush, Elain, I would have asked you if you ever touched yourself when you listened to my audios. Would that have done the trick?”

Elain almost dropped her phone. The question brought back memories of her, laying in bed, imagining a faceless stranger moving above her, inside her. She could still vividly remember how she had imagined him fucking her mouth as she touched herself, desperate for release. But now, the stranger had a face. Azriel’s face. And it was Azriel’s voice that had made her body sing. 

“Yes,” Elains voice was barely more than a whisper. 

“Yes, it would make you blush or yes, you touched yourself to my voice?” 

Elain wondered if she should answer. They were edging nearer to that dangerous territory that Elain knew they should avoid. Yes, she was sick, but most of her body clearly hadn’t gotten that memo because just imagining the things he could do to her made her entire body hum in anticipation. He really shouldn’t talk to her like this when there was nothing he could do to help her feel better. Still, there was a part of her that really wanted to know what he would say next. What he would do if she confessed that she had touched herself to his voice. And that part of her was growing stronger by the second. 

“Both,” she confessed. Though blushing was probably the least of her worries right now because that question had brought heat to other places on her body. 

Azriel chuckled at that, but there was no humor in the sound. It was dark and deep and rich and Elain could feel heat spread low in her belly. “And did you come, Elain? Was I able to make you come?”

A whimper escaped her lips and she had to press her thighs together again. God, what was this man doing to her? 

Should she play along? It wasn’t proper, she thought, to talk to a man like this before even going on a date. But then again, the things she had imagined him doing to her was anything but proper and Elain was aching to feel good. This day had been shit and if he could make her feel good for just a little while, then what was the harm in that? 

So Elain mustered all her courage and answered truthfully. “Yes, every time.” She barely recognized her own voice. The need. The hunger. She hoped he couldn’t hear how much he affected her. 

“Hmm,” Azriel’s deep voice sent shivers down her spine, making her toes tingle. “And what sounds do you make when you come, I wonder?”

“Azriel,” Elain gasped, not expecting him to be so blunt. She had no idea what sounds she made when she came. She was usually a bit too preoccupied to notice. 

“Should we find out?” That dark, sensual voice didn’t belong solely to Azriel. No, that voice belonged to Shadowsinger. It was the voice he had used to make her feel like her body was alive for the first time ever. It was the voice that could make her feel things she didn’t even think possible. 

“What are we doing, Azriel?” she asked, because she really had no idea. She had never talked to another person like this, especially not on the phone. 

“Whatever you want us to do.”

She let out a breath, trying to calm herself. “I wish you were here.” God, she sounded needy. 

“I wish I was there, too.”

There was a beat of silence and Elain knew that he was waiting for her to make the next move. She could change the topic, steer this conversation to safer territory. But did she want that? It would be easy. She could ask him about his job or his hobbies. She could ask him to tell her an embarrassing story from his childhood. But to be honest, she didn’t really care about work or hobbies at the moment. Right now, she could only think about the way his voice made her entire body come alive. How that feeling of electricity underneath her skin was back and she needed him to help her find release. 

She wanted this. And she wanted him. 

She was making her move.

“What would you do, if you were here?”

“Well, that depends.” 

“On what?” Elain didn’t even dare to breathe. 

“On what you would let me do to you.”

Anything , she wanted to tell him . You could do anything to me, Azriel. “Would you kiss me?” 

“If I was there with you, in bed, I wouldn’t be able to stop kissing you.” 

“Oh,” she breathed. 

“It took all the strength I had to stop kissing you outside Rita’s. But if we were alone…” he didn’t finish his sentence, yet the silence was full of promise. 

“If we were alone?”

“If we were alone, I wouldn’t stop until you begged me to.” Elain knew that he could hear the way her breath caught in her throat. “Do you think I could make you beg, Elain?”

She nodded, remembering all the times she had begged him to do all kinds of things to her body. He had no idea, of course. She was just about to tell him that yes, he definitely could, but she stopped herself. He was a pro at this. He knew exactly what to say to make someone come undone. She needed to try to do the same. Try to play the game, even though she had no idea what she was doing. 

“I guess there’s only one way to find out,” she said. She was surprised that she was able to keep her voice steady. 

“I guess there is.” She heard movement on his end of the line before he continued again. “Put your phone on speaker.” It wasn’t a question. It was a demand. Elain had to bite her lip to hold back a whimper. 

“I have headphones on.” She put the phone on her bedside table. 

“Good. You will need your hands.”

Elain didn’t dare speak. Didn’t dare to do anything but await further instructions. She had no idea what she was doing, she just knew that she wanted him to go on. Needed him to. 

“If I was there,” he began, “I would kiss you. I would start off slow, my hand on your neck, my fingertips gently caressing your jaw as I teased your lips with mine.”

Elain closed her eyes and imagined him doing just that. She imagined him above her, holding himself up with one arm as he kissed her softly. She imagined her own fingers running through his dark hair. 

“And then, when you’re fully relaxed beneath me, I would kiss you deeper. Harder. I would tease your lips with my tongue until you let me in.”

She could still remember the way his lips felt against hers - hot and soft and demanding. She needed to feel him on her like that again. 

“Then, I would pin your hands down above your head and tell you to keep them there.”

Elain didn’t know why, but she raised her hands above her head until her fingertips touched her headboard. “And what would happen if I moved them?”

“Ah,” he said, “But you wouldn’t, would you? You would do exactly as you were told.”

How could he read her so well already? “Yes. I would.”

“Good, so keep them there until I tell you to move them.”

Elain nodded again, unable to find her words. 

“Then, I would start kissing my way down your body. I would kiss your cheek, your jaw. I would let my tongue find that sensitive spot on your neck that make you moan from the slightest touch.”

How did he know about that spot?

“You would want me to go faster, but I wouldn’t. I would take my time tasting you. Teasing you. One hand would travel beneath your shirt, my fingertips ghosting over the sensitive skin there. You would be arching into my touch, silently begging me for more.”

“Would you give me more?” 

“Not yet. I would draw circles around your belly button while whispering all the dirty things I would do to you. I would tell you about all the places I would kiss and touch and taste. 

“Azriel,” she whined, her body stiff with anticipation. If she really concentrated, she could almost feel his hands on her body, his breath on her neck. 

Chuckling, Azriel let out a low breath. “And then, when I have you right where I want you, I will pull that t-shirt up your body. I solemnly swear that I am up to no good, that’s what it said, right?”

“Yes.” 

“Good, because we are definitely up to no good right now,” he teased. “I would let my hand slowly travel up your stomach to cup one of your breasts while my lips found your other nipple. I would lick it softly, making it harden for me. Then, I would gently suck it into my mouth as I took the other nipple between my fingertips.”

Elain’s breathing was growing heavy. She was laying there, hands above her head, imagining his hands as shadows on her body. 

“Now, take your hands and touch yourself for me. Tell me how good it feels to have your pretty little nipples played with.”

Elain moved her hands slowly up her stomach until she was able to cup both of her breasts. Her nipples were already hard and aching, her breasts heavy. “It feels good, Azriel,” she moaned as she pinched one nipple between her thumb and finger. “So good.”

“I know,” he cooed. “You’re doing so well.” The praise brought a new rush of heat to her core. 

“I would kiss my way further down, tasting every inch of your soft skin until I reached those ill-fitting shorts.”

Elain let out a laugh that sounded way too much like a snort. She moved her hands over her stomach, pretending that they were his mouth. 

“My lips would leave your skin for just a moment as I pulled the shorts down your legs.”

Elain hooked her thumbs under her shorts and pulled them down, leaving her in only her panties and t-shirt. 

“And then?” She needed to know. Needed to imagine what he would do next. 

She was burning up. 

“I would lay down between your legs. I would kiss you soft thighs until you're aching for me to kiss you somewhere else.”

“I’m already aching, Azriel.”

“I know, sweetheart,” he chuckled. “But you have to be patient. You have to let me take my time. You know that I’ll make it worth the wait, don’t you?”

And yes, she knew. She knew that it would all be worth it. Somehow, he seemed to know her body better than she did. 

“Would you let me taste you, Elain?”

“Yes. God, yes.”

“No need to call me a god,” he snickered. “I want you to take your panties off. Can you do that for me?

“Yes,” Elain answered quickly and did exactly what he asked. Her underwear were already damp. 

“Good girl. Now, I want you to show me exactly where you want my mouth.”

Elain sucked in a breath and let one finger tease her slit. “Here,” she whined as her finger grazed her clit. 

“Hmm,” he said, and his velvety voice made her shiver. Or maybe it was the fever? She didn’t know. Didn’t care. She just needed him to continue. “Are you wet for me?”

Elain moved her finger further down, to her entrance. “So wet.”

“Fuck, such a good girl,” he growled. “I want you to touch yourself just the way you like it while you imagine me between your legs.”

Elain whimpered as she increased the pressure and speed. She closed her eyes harder, imagining his mouth on her most sensitive part. How hot it would feel against her, how his tongue would find all the right spots. 

“Fuck, those little whimpers you make will be the death of me,” he groaned. 

“Are–are you touching yourself too?” Elain asked, needing to know if she affected him too. 

“Yes,” he said and his confession made her clench around nothing. God, she needed to be filled. And as if he could read her thoughts, he said, “Now, put one finger inside you. If I had you underneath me, I would fuck that little pussy with my fingers while sucking your clit into my mouth.”

Elain moaned when her finger entered her. She pressed the heel of her palm to her clit and tried to imagine how it would feel if it was Azriel’s big finger moving inside of her instead. 

“I’m close, Azriel.” She sounded desperate. She was desperate. It felt so fucking good, yet not good enough. Knowing that he could actually do all of these things to her body made her wonder exactly how good he could make her feel. 

“Already?” he chuckled. “Such a needy girl.”

She felt her eyes roll back as she continued to fuck her hand. She tried to speak but no words left her mouth. She was right there, on that edge. She just needed his permission. She needed him to tell her to…

“Stop.”

“What?” she breathed. Clearly, she hadn’t heard him correctly. 

“I said stop.”

Hesitantly, Elain slowed her movements. “Please,” she begged. “Please, I need–”

“I know what you need, angel” His voice was darker now. “You need more, isn’t that right? You want more.”

“I want to come,” she pouted. 

“And I want you coming on my tongue, too. But the first time you come for me, I need you to think of me fucking you.”

Oh. Well, that she could do. She had done it multiple times already. 

“How would you fuck me?” 

“The way you need to be fucked.”

The sound that left her lips sounded just as needy and desperate as she felt. “Please.”

“So pretty when you beg,” he murmured. “So fucking good for me, aren’t you?”

“Yes. So good, just–please.”

“You don’t need me to be gentle, do you? You don’t want soft and slow.”

Elain shook her head. “No, I don’t.” She really didn’t want soft and gentle. She wanted it hard and fast. She wanted him to fuck her like he meant it. She needed to feel him the next day. 

“Go ahead, touch yourself again.”

Without missing a beat, she did as she was told. She was drenched now, her entire body begging for release. 

“Good girl,” he growled. He actually growled at her. And fuck if that didn’t turn her on even more. “I can’t wait to hear what you sound like when I enter you. When I fill you up. Is that what you want, Elain? You want me to fill that little pussy?”

“Mhm.” 

“Use your words.”

“I–I want you inside me,” she moaned. 

“Fuck,” he said under his breath. “Your pussy probably feels like heaven.”

If Elain hadn’t been so lost in pleasure, she might have laughed at that comment, but now… It definitely did not make her laugh. 

Everything felt so good and she was so close and Azriel was even better than his freaking Alter Ego. But Elain wanted him to feel good too. She wanted to give him something. She had never been particularly good at dirty talk, but she needed to give him what he was giving her. 

“Azriel, I can’t wait for you to fuck me. That night at–at Rita’s,” a moan escaped her lips. “I wanted you to fuck me. I have–have never felt like that. Oh, god…”

“Yeah?” Azriel sounded breathless too. Was he close?

“Mhm. The next day, I imagined you fucking me against that w-wall. I thought about– about how good you would feel in–inside…How you would stretch–”

Elain couldn’t continue. She was too close. It was too much. She was…falling.

Elain came with a cry, her orgasm making her see stars. Somewhere in the distance, she could hear Azriel say her name. It almost made her come again. 

She could feel her body relax beneath the covers. A blissful calm spreading over her like a blanket. 

“Elain?” Azriel’s voice was her lighthouse in the fog. She followed it back to reality. 

“Yes.”

“That was–”

“I know.”

They both laughed. Elain couldn’t believe that they had done this. She couldn’t believe that they just had phone sex. It was just like audio porn - only better. Because this was real. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, a hint of concern in his voice. 

“Yeah,” she said. Her throat was sore and she probably still had a fever, but god, she felt great. Her body was still buzzing from the orgasm. “I’m good. You?”

Azriel laughed again. “More than good.”

“I can’t believe we did that.”

“I can. But I can’t wait to do it for real.”

Elain let out a small laugh. “Such a romantic.”

“Well, I will wine and dine you before I take you home and do unspeakable things to your body. How’s that? Romantic enough?”

“Honestly? It sounds perfect. We do have a few things to talk about when we do go on that date though.”

“Like what?”

“Like why you stopped uploading your work to the Night Court app.”

“Ah, yes. But just so you know, the story isn’t all that interesting.”

“I guess I’ll have to be the judge of that.”

“I guess so.” They stayed on the phone for another 20 minutes, talking about anything and everything until Elain had to admit herself defeated by her illness. As she drifted off to sleep, she thought to herself that if their first date had been this good, she couldn’t wait to see how amazing their second date would be. If he could make her see stars by just speaking to her, then imagine what he could do when he could actually touch her. 

The possibilities seemed endless.

#elain archeron fanfic #elriel #elriel fic #elriel fanfiction #elain x azriel #dottielovegoodfanfiction #azriel x elain

[dottielovegood]

Tarte au citron (elriel)

My contribution to Elain Archeron Week. Read the fic here on AO3 (I will not be posting it to tumblr) _________________________________________

Prompt: Hobbies Word count: 12.136 CW: Explicit sexual content. This fic takes place two months after Pretty Little Angel.

Summary: Elain wants to play a little game with Azriel and decides to tie him up and make him watch her while she bakes a lemon tart (while wearing nothing but lingerie).

Azriel is not a big fan of not being in control.

This fic contains: rope, baking, spatulas, dirty talk and two kinds of pie.

(Also, if you follow the recipe in the fic, you will actually end up with a wonderful french lemon tart)

#elain archeron fanfic #elainarcheronweek2022 #elain x azriel #azriel x elain #elriel #elriel fanfic #elriel fanfiction #dottielovegoodfanfiction #elainweek2022

[dottielovegood]

Shadowsinger [erotic audio for women, nsfw] - part 3

Chapter title: Birthday Girl

Chapter one, Chapter two Read this fic here on AO3

Summary: Azriel does audio porn. Elain is a big fan.

(Disclaimer: No, this is not an audio fic) ________________________________________________

“One more shot,” Nuala shouted over the music as she scooted into the booth next to Elain. Cerridwen was on her other side nursing a beer. 

“I might die if I take one more,” Elain answered, knowing fully well that she would succumb to the bad influence of the twins. Not that she minded. She really needed this. She had been working way too much and school had been kicking her ass for the last couple of weeks. And she hadn’t been able to sleep well since that handsome man walked into the coffee shop and ruined her life. 

Basically, she blamed Shadowsinger for her sleep deprivation. It wasn’t more than fair. 

Cerridwen laughed beside her and nudged her arm, “We will all die sooner or later. And I don’t know about you guys, but I’d rather be drunk when I die.” She reached for one of the shots Nuala had placed on the table.

“What is it?” Elain asked, one last attempt to tell herself that multiple shots was never a good idea. 

“It was called Orgasmic bliss .” Nuala wiggled her eyebrows. “Sounded like something you might need.”

“Nuala,” Elain gasped, feigning a horrified shocked expression. And failing miserably. “Not in front of Jesus.”

Elain pointed at the man who had been dancing vigorously on the dance floor for the past 30 minutes. His shirt was soaked with sweat and his long hair had earned him the nickname ‘Jesus’.

“From the way he was looking at you earlier, I think he might volunteer to give you a different kind of orgasmic bliss,” Cerridwen said and nudged one of the small glasses closer to Elain. “Come on, birthday girl. You only live once.”

Elain rolled her eyes but picked up the shot. “Live, laugh, love.”

Nuala raised her shot to and shouted, “Carpe fucking diem.”

“I will regret this in the morning,” Elain muttered under her breath and raised her glass to Nuala's. 

Cerridwen followed suit. “To orgasms.”

“To orgasms,” Elain and Nuala said in chorus, and then they downed the shots. 

It was sweet, an artificial taste of strawberries and cream sliding down her throat. Nuala had wanted to get them tequila but Elain had promptly put her foot down (both literally and figuratively.) She wanted to remember her birthday and if she had tequila, there was a very big possibility that she wouldn’t. 

“It was better than the last one,” Cerridwen commented. 

Nuala turned to her sister, a teasing grin on her face, “What, you didn’t like the Cum as you are ?”

Cerridwen wrinkled her nose, “whoever came up with that shot should go to jail. The consistency was a bit too accurate.”

“Not in front of Jesus, Cerr.” Nuala teased. 

“Sorry Jesus,” she shouted.

And of course, ‘Jesus’ turned around, sending the girls into a giggling fit. 

Rita’s was packed tonight. Sweaty bodies dancing closely on the dance floor, people sharing pitchers of beer and couples making out in the corners. Elain hadn’t been out for god knows how long, which was probably why she was already starting to feel a little bit drunk. It felt great. Her mind was finally quiet and she found herself thinking that maybe, just maybe, she would be able to fall asleep and sleep the entire night for once. 

That would truly be the best birthday gift she could receive. 

“Hey, speaking of orgasms and bodily fluids,” Cerridwen said, leaning forward. “Guess who I saw yesterday?”

“Harry Styles?” Elain guessed without missing a beat. 

“Taylor Swift?” Nuala added. 

Elain shook her head, “No, I bet it was Gordon Ramsey.”

“If she had seen Gordon Ramsey she would have died on the spot from happiness,” Nuala said. “I think it was…Kanye West.”

“Or Kim Kardashian?”

“Donald Trump?”

“The Queen of England?”

“Shrek?”

“Harry Pott–”

Cerridwen put her hand over Elain’s mouth. “No, you idiots. I don’t even want to know how you connect those people to orgasms and bodily fluids.”

“Harry Styles and Taylor Swift could give me orgasms any day,” Nuala said and raised her half empty glass of beer in a salute to mainly herself. And maybe to Harry Styles and Taylor Swift too, Elain wasn’t sure. 

“Yes, I know, you horny heathen. But this isn’t about you.”

“So who is it about then?”

“The birthday girl, of course.”

Elain furrowed her brows. “Me? Did you see my sisters?”

Cerridwen shook her head, a teasing smile on her lips. “Nope. Better.”

“Did you meet someone who said that I have won a hundred billion dollars?”

“Better,” she said, her smile turning into a grin. 

“What is better than a hundred billion dollars? I mean, unless I won two hundred billion dollars. That would definitely be better than one hundred–”

“God, you talk a lot when you’re drunk.”

“I’m not drunk,” Elain lied. “I’m tipsy.”

Nuala patted her back. “Whatever you say, sweetie.”

“Okay, you’re not allowed to guess anymore because you obviously suck at it. I saw your sexy stranger,” she exclaimed, holding out her hands to emphasize how amazing this was. 

Elain just stared at her. “Who?”

“Oh, don’t play coy. The sexy, dark, brooding, mysterious stranger who ordered a coffee when he actually wanted to order you.”

“I think Elain would like to be ordered around,” Nuala interjected. 

Elain could feel her face get hot. Thank god for the dim lights because she definitely didn’t want the twins seeing her blush like this. Because yes, she did like being told what to do by that sexy stranger. She liked it a lot. And she missed it. 

“Get your head out of the gutter, Nuala,” Cerridwen said. “Anyway, he came into the coffee shop yesterday.”

“Okay?” Elain tried to seem unaffected by the news when she actually wanted to scream. He had returned to the coffee shop? There was a chance that she might meet him again? 

That wasn’t part of her plan. 

Her plan was to never think about him or his velvety smooth voice ever again. 

“Yes, he came in and said that I was right about the coffee being the best he ever had.” Cerridwen looked smug. “And then…” She dragged that last word out, trying to increase the anticipation. “He asked about you.” Elain, who had just taken a sip of her luke-warm beer, had to cover her nose with her hand as she started coughing. He had what now?

“What?” she was able to croak out. 

“Yes, he asked if you were there because, apparently, you are very good at recommending food,” she wiggled her eyebrows. “He looked disappointed when I told him you had a few days off.”

“Oh,” was all Elain could think to answer. 

“Oh?” Nuala raised her voice. “That’s all you’re gonna say? OH?”

“Well, he was probably just hungry.”

Nuala rolled her eyes. “You are so clueless. You didn’t think that Jesus was checking you out and now you think that the sexy stranger asked for you because he was freaking hungry. You need to look in a mirror, girl.”

“Jesus was not checking me out. He was just looking for a new dance partner.”

“Sure, whatever you say.” Nuala leaned back against the black leather seat. “But aren’t you even a little bit curious why the sexy stranger asked for you?”

Yes, Elain wanted to shout. Yes, she was curious. Of course, she wanted to know why he had asked. She knew that it couldn’t be because he craved cinnamon rolls or other sweet treats, but Elain couldn’t even fathom that he would have any interest in her either. He was Shadowsinger , for god’s sake. He was the man she had dirty fantasies about when she didn’t even know what he looked like.

She touched herself to his voice. 

Even if he did want to see her for some reason, she was relieved that she hadn’t been at work that day. And she would never admit that she was curious because she shouldn’t be. He was a sex god and she was…Elain. Plain Elain. She wasn’t funny or exciting. Definitely not exciting enough for someone like him. 

Elain knew that she couldn’t keep telling the twins that she didn’t care because they could see right through her. But she couldn’t tell them the full story either, so she went with, “Sure, I admit it. I would like to know why he asked for me. I can’t really think of a good reason since I was a babbling idiot the last time I saw him and we only spoke for a minute. But that doesn’t matter because I will never see him again, so that’s that.”

And I will never hear his voice again, she added silently. 

There was a beat of silence between them. Or, it wasn’t really silence since every sound was drowned out by a horrendous remix of an old pop song from the nineties. The twins looked at each other quickly, a silent communication clearly going on between them. Elain took a sip of her beer, trying her very best to ignore the way they were looking at each other, and then at her, and then at the bar. They were probably just trying to decide what shot to order next. Telepathically. 

Elain almost laughed at the silly thought when Nuala leaned in closer and said, “I wouldn’t be so sure of that.”

“What?”

“I said,'' she gripped Elain’s chin and turned her head toward the bar. “I wouldn’t be so sure of that.”

As soon as the words registered, Elain saw what the twins had been staring at just seconds ago. Or more accurately, who they had been staring at. 

It was him. 

He was here. 

The sexy stranger. 

Shadowsinger. 

He was here, at the bar she used to visit regularly and god, he looked good. Too good. Looking like that should come with a warning sign. 

Tonight, he was dressed in black, easily blending into the darkness of the club. Yet, there was something about him that made him stand out. That made Elain’s eyes seek him out, like a moth to a flame. 

She took in the leather boots, the fitted black jeans and the black T-shirt. She let her eyes travel up his body and when she reached his face, she quickly realized her mistake. 

Because of fucking course he was looking right at her. And Elain just wanted to sink through the ground because both times they had been in the same room, he had caught her staring. 

For a beat, he did nothing but look straight at her, holding her gaze. Then, with a small smirk on his lips, he raised his glass of amber liquid towards her and gave her one single nod. Was that his way of saying hello?

Elain could feel herself blush again, and once more, she was happy that the dark club hid her pink cheeks. 

She suddenly felt sober. Or well, not sober, but definitely more tipsy than drunk. 

When he turned back to his friend at the bar, Elain realized that she hadn’t been breathing. She took a deep breath and sank down in the booth, reaching for her glass. When she tipped it back, she realized that it was empty. 

“Shit,” she muttered and put the glass down more forcefully than she intended. 

“Was that a shit, he’s here or a shit, I need more alcohol ?” Cerridwen teased. 

“Both,” Elain sighed. “Why is he so good looking?”

The twins laughed and huddled closer to Elain. Probably to make sure that they could all hear each other better.  

“I mean, shouldn’t it be illegal to have a face like that when he also has a voice that…” she trailed off, realizing that she almost told her friends way too much. 

The twins looked at each other, a puzzled expression on their faces. “Well, well, well,” Nuala said. “I didn’t know you had a voice kink.”

“I don’t,” Elain answered quickly. Too quickly. 

She didn’t have a voice kink, per se. It was just his voice that made her kinky.  

Elain was very glad that her friends couldn’t read her mind. 

“Oh, my god. You do,” Nuala gasped in fake shock. “You’re blushing.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Oh, stop lying to yourself, El. You think he’s hot and his voice gets you going.”

“No,” Elain muttered, more to herself than anything. She was a bad liar on any normal day, but give her some alcohol and she was the human version of a fountain of truth. She really did have to bite her tongue in order to not blurt out that this very sexy man did audio porn. And that she listened to audio porn. Or used to, at least. 

She missed the porn. 

Well, that was something she never thought she would say, or even think. 

“Please, go talk to him,” Cerridwen said. 

“That is definitely out of the question.”

“Why?”

Elain stared at her friend. “What do you mean, why? I can’t talk to him. Firstly, because he is a customer and I…”

“He’s only a customer because he wanted to talk to you, silly. So that’s not a problem. What’s your next excuse?”

Elain worried her lower lip between her teeth. “Well, he is way out of my league. I mean, look at him. He’s all dark and cool and mysterious and I’m…” she gestured at her floral dress. “I’m cute.”

“Yes, you are,” Nuala said. “The cutest. And I bet he thinks so too.”

“Yeah, well. I’m drunk. You know that I get weird when I’m drunk.”

Cerridwen patted her knee. “Good thing you’re only tipsy then, because tipsy Elain is talkative and clingy…”

“Yeah, and those are traits most men don’t like.”

“That’s because most men are idiots,” Nuala said with a little too much enthusiasm. 

Elain laughed, “says the bisexual.”

Nuala shrugged and finished her beer. “Well, look at that. All the glasses are empty.” She gestured to the array of glasses on the table. “Whatever should we do about it?”

Before Elain could answer that maybe it was time to go home, Cerridwen snapped her fingers, “You know, I think it’s Elain’s turn to get the drinks.”

“Oh my god, my very smart sister. I think you’re right.”

Elain eyes went from her friends to the bar (where a certain stranger still stood), and then back again. “I–I don’t..”

“It’s only fair.” Nuala pushed back the glasses on the table to make room for new drinks. “I’ll have a beer.”

Elain turned to her friend. “But I’m the birthday girl,” she pouted. “I shouldn’t have to get my own drinks.”

“Fine,” Cerridwen snapped. “I’ll get the drinks, but you are going to help me carry them.”

Before Elain could protest, she was being dragged through the dark bar. Jesus was still dancing like a maniac, which was fitting since the DJ had decided to play that Maniac song from the Flashdance soundtrack. It had been one of Elain’s favorite movies growing up. 

Elain felt hot. Now that she was standing up, she definitely felt more drunk than tipsy, or at least somewhere in between the two. Another drink would surely push her over the edge. 

She looked down as she walked, cursing herself for wearing heels. She smoothed a hand over her thigh-length dress. Why had she worn this dress? It made her look young and inexperienced. Like someone who spent their time frollicing in fields while singing about hills being alive. She stuck out like a sore thumb among the people wearing dark clothes and sneakers. 

“What do you want?” Cerrdidwen’s voice cut through her inner monologue. Elain looked around and realized they had made it to the bar. “I–-uh…”

Her friend shook her head and turned back to face the bartender, “She’ll have a beer too.”

Elain just nodded, not really caring about the drink because at that very second, she realized exactly what her friend had done. 

She had squeezed in next to the sexy stranger. He was standing with his back against them, talking to a very big man with a man bun. He was almost as handsome as Shadowsinger, in a burly kind of way. 

The only thing separating Elain and Shadowsinger at this very moment was Cerridwen’s body. Elain knew that she had done this on purpose. She leaned in closer so she could speak in her friend’s ear, “Seriously?”

Feigning innocence, Cerridwen just smiled at Elain. “What? I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

What happened next felt like a scene playing out in slow motion in front of Elain’s eyes. The bartender put their drinks on the bar and reached for the bill Cerridwen had put down. But she didn’t reach for the drinks. 

No, she took a step back. 

She took a step back and just happened to bump into Shadowsinger. Elain could do nothing but stare at the smug look on Cerridwen's face as he turned around. “Oh,” she mouthed and if Elain hadn’t been frozen in place, she might have turned around and bolted out of the bar. 

“I’m so sorry,” Cerridwen exclaimed and turned around to face the man. Elain didn’t dare to look at his face so she forced her eyes to focus on his hands. He was still holding his drink, thank god. This would have been even worse if her friend had made him spill his drink. 

“That’s okay,” he said, his voice louder than Elain had ever heard it. 

Of course it’s louder. He’s not whispering in your ear, telling you to be a good girl for him. 

He was looking at Cerridwen for a second before recognition dawned on his face, “Oh, I recognize you.”

“Well, it is said that you never forget the person who gives you your best cup of coffee.”

Elain could hear him chuckle and she decided to dare a glance at his face. Just one. And at that same moment, he shifted his gaze too. Their eyes met and Elain could feel her mouth go dry. There was such intensity in his eyes. And he was so freaking hot. And she was drunk and her friend was a traitor. 

“Hi,” he said, a small smile forming on his lips. 

“Hello,” Elain answered. She hoped that she sounded confident, but she doubted it. She reached for one of the glasses on the bar just to have something to do with her hands. The glass was cold and wet and for a second, Elain thought about just running back to their booth. His eyes were too intense now and he looked like some sort of dark angel as he stood there in front of her. From this distance, she could see tattoos peek out from underneath the sleeves of his shirt. They looked like shadows wrapping around his strong arms. 

The things he could do with those arms… Elain blinked hard to force her mind out of the gutter and when she focused her eyes on her friend, she was staring at her with a shit eating grin. 

“You know what, “ Cerridwen said. “I really need to pee.”

Elain shook her head, trying to silently tell her friend to stay. When Cerridwen started walking toward the bathroom, Elain shouted, “Do you need me to come with you?” 

“No, I’ve had a lot to drink. I’ll probably pee for like fifteen minutes.” And then she was gone, swallowed up in the crowd. 

When Elain turned back, he was looking at her with an amused expression. She wished she knew what he was thinking. And she also wished that he would go away. 

“Well, I should get back to my other friend,” Elain said just as he said, “The cinnamon bun was great.”

Elain blinked at him, “what?”

“The cinnamon bun,” he repeated, “The one you recommended. It was great.”

“Oh, I’m glad. I made those,” she said, and as soon as the words left her mouth, she regretted it. He didn’t care if she had baked something. He was just being polite. 

His eyebrows shot up slightly, “really?”

Elain nodded. She had no idea what to say. Why was she so awkward? Why hadn’t the alcohol made her talkative yet? 

“Do you know each other?” a voice behind Shadowsinger asked. 

Elain had totally forgotten about the man with the man bun but now he was her favorite person in the world because he had just saved her from a very awkward situation. 

Elain shook her head to say no, but Shadowsinger answered before she got the chance. “She works at the coffee shop, you know the one by the river.”

A look of confusion passed over Man Bun’s face, but then something must have dawned on him because his face split into a giant smile. “Oh, is this coffee girl?”

Elain stared at him. Coffee girl? What the hell? 

“Cassian,” Shadowsinger said through gritted teeth. It sounded like a threat. 

Man Bun, or Cassian, picked up his drink from the bar and patted Shadowsinger on the back, giving him a look Elain didn’t understand. “You know what, I suddenly have the urge to dance.” He turned to Elain. “It was nice meeting you, coffee girl.” 

And then he was off. 

And she was alone with the only man who had ever made her come. 

Elain hated her brain. 

The man in front of her shifted on his feet, looking a bit uncomfortable. Elain was glad to see it. And just to make it even more awkward (because why not?), she asked, “Why did he call me coffee girl?”

He looked at the dance floor and then back at Elain, an apologetic look in his eyes. 

“I might have told him about you”

Elain stared at him, not knowing what to say to that. Had she heard him correctly? “What?”

He let out a deep breath. “I might have told him that there was a very beautiful girl at a coffee shop I visited a few weeks ago. He came up with the nickname.”

Elain had stopped listening after ‘beautiful’. He thought that she was beautiful? 

“What?” she asked again because apparently, her brain was unable to form any other word. 

He chuckled and scratched his head. “I’m sorry if it’s weird and please tell me to fuck off if I make you uncomfortable.”

Elain shook her head, willing him to continue. She needed him to continue. 

“I came by the coffee shop a few days ago,” he said. “I might have asked for you.”

“Yeah, my friend just told me.”

“Did she now?” he leaned an elbow against the bar, the stance making him look a bit cocky. Elain had no idea why she liked it. “I thought that she might.”

“Why did you ask for me? Did you want another recommendation for a sweet treat?”

His eyes left her face and traveled down her body, taking her in. He was looking at her as if she was a sweet treat. Her drunken mind really liked that. 

“No,” he said after what felt like a small eternity. Elain had to press her thighs together when his gaze returned to hers. What was he doing to her?

She told herself that she felt like this because she knew what he did for a living. If she hadn’t listened to his audios, she wouldn’t find him this attractive. It was just her brain playing tricks on her. Her brain and the alcohol. 

“Okay,” she said, feeling uncertain now. She had no idea what was going on. She glanced back at the booth she had spent the majority of the evening at but the twins weren’t there. She scanned the venue until she found her friends - with Jesus. They were crazy dancing with Jesus. Elain rolled her eyes and suppressed a smile. They looked like idiots. 

“What’s your name?” Shadowsinger asked, pulling her attention back to him. She took a sip from her beer. She probably shouldn’t drink more but there was some sort of comfort in having something to focus on that wasn’t the tall, sexy man in front of her. 

“Elain.”

With a gentle smile, he said, “That’s definitely better than coffee girl.” He reached his hand out in front of her. “I’m Azriel.”

She looked at his hand and thought that it was a bit odd, and a bit old fashioned, to offer her a handshake. And since Elain had always liked all things odd and old fashioned, she took his hand. “Well, that’s better than…” Elain shut her mouth quickly, looking at their clasped hands in horror. She had almost called him Shadowsinger. 

“Better than what?” he asked when she didn’t continue. He had let go of her hand and Elain hoped that he didn’t think that the condensation from the beer was hand sweat. 

“Uh,” she started, scrambling for anything to say. “It’s better than not knowing your name.”

He regarded her for a moment, clearly knowing that she had been about to say something else. But he let it go. Thank fuck. 

“So, Elain,” he said, and she felt a shiver run down her spine when he said her name in that velvety voice of his. “What brings you to Rita’s tonight?”

“Oh, I’m here with my friends. They kind of forced me to go out.” She pointed to Nuala and Cerridwen on the dance floor. With a shrug, she added, “It’s my birthday.”

He clinked his glass to hers. “Happy birthday.” He took a sip from his almost-empty glass and Elain followed suit. 

“Thank you.”

“So, how many birthdays have you had before this one?”

Elain couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up from her chest. “Is that your way of asking me how old I am?”

Azriel cocked an eyebrow. “Maybe.”

“Haven’t your mother told you that it’s rude to ask a lady how old she is?”

“She has,” he said, setting down his empty glass on the bar. He stepped closer to her and Elain was certain that she had stopped breathing again. He leaned down, his face just centimeters from hers. His breath on her ear gave her goosebumps all over her body. “Are you a lady then?” he asked, his voice low and oh so inviting. 

Elain had no idea what to say to that. She had no idea what he was asking her. Well, actually, she did have one guess, but no… He couldn’t be asking her that , because that would definitely bring this conversation into flirting territory, and he wasn’t flirting with her. Right?

“I turn twenty five today,” she blurted out. She’d rather tell him her age than answer his question since she had no idea what the answer would be.

He hummed, the sound making her shiver again. He stood up straight, his eyes focusing on her’s again. They looked almost black in the dim lights. 

“So, how old are you?” Elain asked. For some reason that she didn’t understand, she wanted to keep the conversation going. 

“Twenty nine.”

She nodded. She would have guessed that he was older than her, but 29 wasn’t too bad. A four year age difference was okay. 

Okay for what? she asked herself. It’s not like they were in a relationship. For all she knew, he had a girlfriend. 

Elain desperately hoped he didn’t.

“So, has your day been good so far?” he asked. 

“Yes. I finished an assignment that I have been working on for the past week and then I had dinner with my sisters. And then I came here.”

He nodded, listening intently to every word - which was impressive since the music was so loud. Elain had almost forgotten the music and all the people around her. She was too focused on Azriel. 

Azriel . That was a great name. It sounded like something from a fantasy novel, she thought to herself. Like a fallen angel that lives a dark and dangerous life until he finds his soulmate and has to fight demons and all kinds of creatures to keep her safe. 

“You go to school?” he asked and Elain had a feeling that he also wanted to keep the conversation going. She had no idea why. She wasn’t being particularly interesting. 

“Yes. I’m taking a business class. I want to open my own bakery.”

“Impressive,” he commented. “You’ll probably have people lining up within the first week. I should know, I have tasted your buns after all.”

Elain’s eyebrows shot up and she couldn’t keep the laughter down. When Azriel realized what he had said, he started laughing too. “Shit, that came out wrong.”

Elain waved her hand in front of her, trying to calm herself. “No, it’s fine,” she said, her voice still full of laughter. “Thank you for saying that. I mean, the part about people lining up.”

“It’s the truth.” He was still smiling at her. Elain raised her glass to her lips to take another sip of beer when someone bumped into her from behind. She jerked forward, dropping her drink as she reached her hands in front of herself instinctively. She heard the glass smash on the floor just as her hands found something firm and warm. 

Azriel’s chest. Her hands were splayed on Azriel’s chest, his heart beating steadily beneath her palm. He reached out, gripping her waist to steady her. He was so close now. So close, and he smelled so nice. Elain looked up and met eyes full of concern. 

When he saw that she was okay, he looked over at the man behind her. “Hey, asshole. Watch it.”

There was venom in his voice now. Something sinister slithering from him as he cursed the man who had pushed Elain. Unfortunately, Elain realized as she looked back, the man who had pushed her was Jesus, and he was drunk as a skunk. He just laughed at Azriel and gave him a thumbs up. Up close, Jesus looked nothing like Jesus. He was white and blonde, but the sweat had turned his hair a darker color. He smelled like stale beer and regret. 

Elain was thankful that Azriel ignored the other man after that. She hated it when men protected girls with violence and if Azriel had done something like that, she would have been out that door sooner rather than later. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, still holding on to her waist. 

Elain stood up straighter, letting her hands fall back to her sides. “Yeah, I’m fine. Are you?”

“Yeah,” he chuckled. “All good.”

Azriel motioned for the bartender and told him about the broken glass on the ground. He nodded towards the entrance, “Want to get some fresh air?”

Elain froze. She had heard about guys asking girls to leave a club with them before, and they only wanted sex. At least according to Nesta. And it wasn’t that Elain didn’t want to have sex with Azriel - it was just that she couldn’t. Not only was she a bit drunk, but she also knew something about him that made everything more complicated. And to top that off, she had never had a one night stand before. She didn’t think that this would be a good time to change that. 

Elain opened her mouth to tell him no, but that’s not what came out. 

“I don’t like one night stands.”

That’s it. Elain was never drinking again. Never ever. She wanted to turn into the puddle of beer at her feet, slowly seeping into the floor. Azriel must think that she is the weirdest person ever. 

She wouldn’t blame him. 

But when she met his gaze again, there was amusement dancing in his eyes. “Me neither,” he said, cocking an eyebrow. “But I do like fresh air.”

Elain closed her eyes for a second. She was warm. Hot. The air was heavy with the smell of sweat and alcohol and her shoes were covered in beer. Air sounded like a splendid idea. 

She nodded, not daring to open her mouth again. She never knew when drunk-Elain would make an unwelcome appearance. 

Azriel led her through the crowd, only stopping to say something in his friend's ear as they passed him. Cassian the Man Bun nodded and looked at Elain. “If he’s being an ass, it’s totally okay to kick him in the balls,” he told her, a big smile on his face. Azriel rolled his eyes. Then, Cassian came closer and leaned down to whisper something to Elain. 

“But in all honesty, he’s not an ass. He can seem a bit cold, but I promise he’s not.”

“You done, Cass?” Azriel interrupted, leaving Elain feeling confused. Why would he tell her that?

“Yep! I found a new friend anyway,” he nodded toward the dance floor. “Don’t wait up.” He winked at Azriel and walked away. 

Azriel shook his head, as if this was a regular occurance between the two of them. 

“Do you live together?” Elain asked.

“God no. We haven’t lived together since we shared a dorm room in college.”

As soon as they stepped outside, Elain felt as if she was breathing for the first time in her life. It was a chilly night but she welcomed the cold air on her hot skin. The pavement was full of people. Most were huddled together and smoking cigarettes, some were waiting for taxis or friends. 

Azriel walked a few steps and leaned against the wall. He took a deep breath and in the glow of the street light, Elain couldn’t help but admire the beauty of this man. He wasn’t just hot and sexy - he was beautiful. His dark hair stuck to his forehead and his t-shirt was pulled tight over his muscled chest. 

The chest she had been touching just moments ago. 

She blushed at the thought. Azriel looked at her, an expression on his face that she hadn’t seen before. 

“You’re cute when you blush.”

And that just made her blush even more. She decided to ignore that comment because she had no idea what to say. 

Elain stepped closer, but not close enough to touch him. She stood in front of Azriel, her shoes almost touching his boots. “So, you know what I do for a living, but I know nothing about you.”

That was a lie, but he didn’t have to know that. She wondered if he would admit that he did audio porn. Elain knew that it was more socially acceptable to do such things nowadays, but she didn’t know if anyone would tell a stranger about it. 

He chuckled. The deep, warm sound made its way straight to Elain core. “Yeah, I’m very mysterious.”

“Like a villain in a fantasy novel.”

“A villain?” He raised an eyebrow. 

“Or maybe a morally gray character that is able to redeem himself at the end.”

“Definitely better than a villain,” he laughed. “I’ll take it.”

“What would your powers be?” she asked him, definitely feeling the effects of talkative, tipsy Elain now. 

“My powers?”

“Yes. If you’re a character in a fantasy novel, you need to have some sort of power. Like magic or having an army of dragons.”

He smiled at her, his brown eyes warm and kind. “An army of dragons sounds cool as fuck, not gonna lie. But I would probably like to be more stealthy. Maybe I’d be a spy or something. I’d definitely be really good with a sword.”

Elain had to bite her tongue to keep herself from saying something inappropriate. 

“How about you? What would your powers be?”

Elain pretended to think about her answer, but in all honesty - she had been thinking about this since she was nine and read her first Harry Potter book. 

“I would be a witch. I would do spells and potions and things. Maybe grow my own herbs and use them to do magic.”

“You’ve thought about this before,” he teased.

“Maybe.”

“What kind of spells would you do then?”

“Oh, you know. Just the standard spells. Love spells. Conjuring demons. And if someone hurt my friends, I could make them regret it.”

Azriel laughed, the sound turning Elain’s insides warm. “Remind me to not get on your bad side.”

What would you do, Azriel? What would you do if I did something bad? she wondered. Would you punish me? Torture me? Tease me?

Elain shivered at the thought. 

“Cold?” he asked.

She shook her head quickly. “No. Are you?”

“No, I’m still quite hot.”

“Yes, you are.” The words fell from her mouth before she could stop them. Stupid, tipsy Elain. 

“So are you.”

Okay, maybe tipsy Elain wasn’t that bad after all because he was definitely flirting with her, and she would gladly let him. There was just something about him that made her feel at ease. He made her feel comfortable. Safe. Even though they just met, Elain somehow trusted him. 

She smiled at him. “So, are you ever going to tell me what you do, Azriel?”

His eyes turned darker when she said his name. “You sure you want to know?”

Oh god, was this it? Would he really tell her?

“Yes, I can handle it.”

He took a deep breath. “I’m a software engineer.” 

“What?” That was definitely not the answer she had expected. 

“I know, it’s not very mysterious,” he chuckled. 

“But you’re not,” she said before she could tell herself to keep her mouth closed. She couldn’t explain it, but the fact that he lied to her made her irritated. He didn’t owe her the truth, of course not. But her brain wasn't making much sense right now. She blamed the beer. And the orgasmic bliss. 

“I’m not mysterious?” one corner of his mouth quirked up. 

“No, I mean… you’re not an engineer.”

“I’m not? I guess I better call my boss and let him know.” 

Elain finally regained control over herself and her stupid mouth. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to–”

“No. You did mean to. The question is just why you said that.” He narrowed his eyes and looked at her closely, as if he was trying to see right through her. 

“It was nothing, I’m sorry,” she tried to laugh it away but the laugh sounded hollow. “I blame the beer.” She looked away from him. She focused on the graffitied wall behind him, trying to make sense of the shapes there. She couldn’t look at him. She had fucked everything up. 

“I should go,” she murmured, but before she could make a move she felt his fingers on her chin, turning her face back to him. And for the third time tonight, she stopped breathing. His hands felt hot on her skin. Hot and coarse. When he let go, she realized that they were covered in scars. 

She hadn’t noticed that before. 

“Why did you think I did something else for a living, Elain?” 

She forced herself to hold his gaze. Forced herself to not run away. He let go of her chin and she desperately wanted his hands back on her. 

“I–I thought you did something else, but I was clearly mistaken. I’m sorry.” She really was sorry. And she also doubted herself. What if she was wrong. What if Shadowsinger and Azriel really were voice twins and not actually the same person? 

Had she deleted that app without any real reason to do so? 

“No, there’s clearly something you’re not telling me.”

“We’re strangers. There’s a lot of things I’m not telling you.” she scoffed, feeling defensive. 

He opened his mouth to say something but Elain beat him to it. “You’re not telling me everything either. Like, why did you ask for me at the coffee shop the other day?”

“Because I wanted to ask for your number,” he said without missing a beat. 

“You– what? Why?”

He shook his head, laughing silently as if that had been a silly question. “Because you’re beautiful. And a little weird.”

“You wanted my number because I’m weird?”

He shrugged. “What can I say, I have a type.”

She narrowed her eyes at him, “which is?”

“I’m starting to think that you’re my type.” He held her gaze as he stepped away from the wall and stood up to his full height. Elain had to look up in order to look at him properly. He was so close now. If she stood on her toes and he just bent down a little, their lips would meet. 

“Oh,” Elain said, clearly not feeling as confident anymore. 

“Why did you think I worked as something else?” he asked again and Elain knew that she couldn’t avoid the question anymore. Maybe it was for the better. 

Azriel was proving to not only be good looking. He was also funny and interesting and easy to talk to. And he was flirting with her. If Elain wanted to have any chance of dating him, she knew that she had to tell him what she knew. It would come out sooner or later anyway, and sooner seemed like the better alternative. 

“I just… I thought you did something else. Or maybe you have two jobs, what do I know? I’m probably mistaken.”

There was an expression on his face that she couldn’t decipher. “And what is it you think I do?” 

She kept her voice low just so no one nearby would hear her. “Audio porn.” The words were barely audible. 

“What?” he asked, leaning down to hear her more clearly. 

“Audio porn.”

The air grew still between them. Elain counted each of Azriel’s breaths as she waited for a reaction. There was the possibility that he would have no idea what she was talking about. He might find her disgusting for saying such a thing and walk away, leaving her all alone outside Rita’s. 

But there was also a chance that he did know. 

There was a chance that he was Shadowsinger. 

She had counted ten breaths when he finally spoke. “And what if I do?”

It was not the response she had expected. 

“What do you mean?”

He leaned in close, his lips almost touching her ear as he said, “You’re a smart girl, you know what I mean.”

She let out a shaky breath. “It wouldn’t matter.”

“No?”

“No.”

“And why do you think I do audio porn, Elain?” 

His voice was barely a whisper, and Elain had no doubt in her mind that the man in front of her was Shadowsinger. Azriel was Shadowsinger. He was all of her dirty fantasies combined. 

She closed her eyes, trying to focus on the feeling of his breath against her skin. “I might have recognized your voice.”

“Yeah? Is that why you could barely look at me that day at the coffee shop?”

Elain nodded, her mouth too dry to form words. She closed her eyes. He was so close. Their bodies were almost pressed together, his lips almost touching her skin. 

“Hmm,” he murmured. “and is that why you blush so prettily when you’re around me?”

“Yes,” she breathed, unable to tell a single lie. 

Azriel shifted so that he was looking at her again. Gone was the kind warmth in his eyes - there was only fire now. “Did you like it? Did you like listening to me in the middle of the night?”

Elain couldn’t tell him the truth. She couldn’t tell him that he was the only thing that could make her relax and fall asleep. She couldn’t tell him how much she had liked his audios, and how much she missed them. 

“So, it’s true? It really is you?” she asked instead, even though she already knew the answer. 

“I’ll answer your question if you answer mine.” He tucked a strand of her long, golden hair behind her ear. 

Once again, she cursed her body for blushing so easily. She felt her cheeks grow hot as she nodded. “I liked it.”

With a purely male grin, he whispered, “you look so innocent, who would have guessed that you like porn?”

“I don’t. I just like your voice,” Elain said, needing to defend herself. She didn’t want him to think that she was into porn in general. “Is it weird?” she asked, taking a step back just to get some space between them. She couldn’t think when he was so close. 

“Is what weird?”

“That I know that about you.”

“No, Elain. It’s not. But I must admit, you’re the only person who has ever recognized my voice. Is it weird for you?”

She shook her head. “It was weird when I tried to pretend like I didn’t recognize your voice.”

“Is that why you gave me the wrong cup? Did I make you nervous?”

“Yes,” she admitted. “Do you like it?”

“Like what?”

Elain lowered her voice again, “doing audio porn.”

“I did. Have you checked the dates on that website recently?”

“No. I deleted the app.”

“Why?”

“Well, I couldn’t very well listen to that when I knew what you looked like.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” he chuckled. “But if you for some reason download the app again,” he winked at her, “you’ll see that I haven’t uploaded anything since 2020”.

“Oh, why not?”

“That’s a story for another time,” he said. His voice had gone back to normal now, and Elain realized that she liked his normal voice almost as much as she liked his seductive, sexy whispers. 

There was a beat of silence. The door to the club opened and the horrendous music from the dance floor filled the air. Elain bit the inside of her lower lip - a nervous habit. She had no idea what to say. No idea what to ask. She thought that it would feel awkward to ask him about the audios, but it didn’t. And the way he had answered had only made her want him more. 

Because god, she wanted this man. She had never felt such raw attraction before and she needed him to not walk away from her now. He had to stay, just for a little while. 

“Do you want to go back inside?” She asked the first question that popped into her mind. 

“No.” he answered, his eyes still intensely focused on her. 

“Oh, okay.” Elain looked down at her shoes. Her feet were so much smaller than his. “What do you want to do now then?”

Without missing a beat, his hand came up to cradle her cheek. Elain leaned into his warmth, her eyes never leaving his. “I really want to kiss you, Elain.” Once again, his voice was dangerously low, making her insides melt.

Elain was certain that her heart stopped for just a second. Even though she wouldn’t admit it, she had thought about kissing him since the first time she heard his voice. His eyes were like molten lava as he waited for her answer. There was fire and heat and darkness in them - in him. It promised all kinds of things that she didn’t dare think about. 

For the second time this evening, she placed her hands on his chest. His heart was beating faster now and Elain felt smug knowing that she affected him in some way. 

She stood up on her toes, bringing her face, and her lips, closer to him. She had no idea where this confidence came from but she intended to make the most of it. “That sounds like a very good idea.”

“Good,” he said, his voice low and raspy as he closed the remaining gap between them. His hand went to her neck, tilting her face just the way he wanted it. Elain’s eyes fluttered shut as he brought his lips to hers. 

It was soft at first, his lips just gently grazing hers. He tasted like winter and whiskey. Elain balled her hands into fists, gripping the fabric of his shirt. When she deepened the kiss, he let out a groan. Swiftly, he turned them around so that Elain’s back was against the wall. His body was pressed even closer now and she could feel just how much he wanted her. 

She teased his bottom lip with her tongue and he opened up for her, letting her in. 

Offer and permission. 

For a few moments, Elain forgot about the club and her friends and the world. All of her senses were full of Azriel - the feeling of his muscular chest under her palms, the taste of him, his scent. It was enough to drive her crazy. 

She moved her hands to her neck, pulling him even closer. She needed more. Needed things she didn’t even know how to ask for. One of her legs hooked around his waist and he moved his hand to graze her thigh, his lips never leaving hers. The kiss was hot, passionate. She didn’t feel the cold or the rough texture of the wall. She only felt him. 

Only wanted him. 

“Azriel,” she moaned as he pressed himself closer between her legs. She was so wet. So desperate for more. She wanted him to tell her all the dirty things he could do to her. She wanted–

“Get a room,” someone shouted, effectively bringing them both back to reality. Azriel leaned his forehead against hers. “Fuck,” he groaned, kissing her gently again. 

“Maybe we should…” Elain started but she didn’t get a chance to finish because Azriel let go of her thigh, smoothing her dress down. 

“We should probably continue this another time.” He nodded towards the entrance where Nuala and Cerridwen stood. “Somewhere private.” 

They twins were staring at them, an amused expression on both of their faces. As soon as Elain met Nuala’s gaze, Nuala gave her a thumbs up. 

“Sorry about them,” she said, feeling her cheeks grow hot again. 

“Don’t be,” Azriel said and stroked her cheek. “I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t have talked to me if your friend hadn’t accidentally bumped into me earlier.”

Elain smiled at him and kissed his cheek. “I better get going. They live on the other side of town so they’re staying with me tonight.”

“Lucky bastards,” Azriel chuckled. “Can I see you again?”

“Yes.” Elain realized that she seemed a bit too enthusiastic about the prospect of seeing him again but she couldn’t muster up the energy to care. She wasn’t the kind of girl that pretended to be all cool and mysterious and unaffected. When she wanted something, she usually made it pretty clear. 

With a smile, he handed her his phone. “Put your number in here and I’ll text you.”

Elain did exactly that, making sure to check the number twice before saving it and handing the phone back to Azriel. 

“So,” she started, not feeling very confident when she knew that her friends were following her every move. “I’ll see you around?”

“Definitely.”

Elain walked over to her friends glancing behind her one last time. But he wasn’t there. It was as if he had stepped into the shadows and just disappeared. 

Weird. 

“Dry humping against a wall, huh?” Nuala said and wiggled her eyebrows. “So much for not wanting to talk to him.”

“Well, technically, they weren’t talking,” Cerridwen said. 

“And technically, you both are a pain in my ass.”

“You love us.” Nuala draped her arm over Elain’s shoulders. 

“Yes I do.”

When Elain came home that night, she found that she had two new messages from an unknown number. Her drunken eyes made it a bit difficult to focus on the text, but she managed after a bit of concentration. 

Unknown Did you get home safely? 

Unknown This is Azriel by the way

Elain smiled to herself and added him as a contact in her phone. 

Elain I did! 

She thought back on the night. It still felt unreal. She had kissed Shadowsinger. 

Shadowsinger was Azriel. Azriel was Shadowsinger. And Elain had definitely enjoyed kissing him. Kissing him was even better than listening to his voice telling her to touch herself. 

Her lips still tingled from the taste of him. Her body still buzzed with energy from the way he had touched her. It also buzzed from the alcohol she had consumed, which might explain the next message she sent. 

Elain You have a very nice voice. 

His answer came less than a minute later:

Azriel Shadowsinger Want to go on a date with me?

#elriel #elain archeron fanfic #elain x azriel #elain archeron #azriel x elain #elriel fanfic #dottielovegoodfanfiction

[dottielovegood]

Shadowsinger [erotic audio for women, nsfw]

(Elriel fanfic. Chapter 1)

Read here on AO3

Summary: Azriel does audio porn. Elain is a big fan.

(Disclaimer: No, this is not an audio fic)

Content warning: sexual content and dirty talk.

_________________________________

Elain threw her bag on the floor as soon as she entered her apartment. It had been a shit day and an even shittier week. She had worked full days for the past six days since two of her coworkers were sick and she was completely exhausted. And on top of that, she only had two days to finish the assignment for her business class. The assignment she hadn’t even started. She knew she should have turned down some of the shifts at the coffee shop but she really needed the money and, as the people pleaser she was, she didn’t want to let her co-workers down. 

But now here she was, in desperate need of rest but too jacked up on coffee to be able to actually sleep. She thought about starting the assignment but she knew very well that she would have to delete everything tomorrow anyway since she never worked very well after 9.30 PM, and that was 30 minutes ago. 

Elain let out a breath and walked to the refrigerator. She wasn’t hungry, but maybe she could pass the time by eating something? Unfortunately, she hadn’t had time to do her weekly grocery shopping, so the only things she had were a half full carton of milk, some eggs, juice and a sad looking broccoli. She wasn’t exactly craving any of it. She shut the refrigerator door again, looking around her apartment for anything to do that could help her sleep. 

Watch TV? 

No, she knew that it would take her at least 25 minutes to find something to watch, and when she started watching something, she always had to finish at least one episode. She couldn’t commit to that right now. 

Read a book?

No, she wouldn’t be able to concentrate on any sort of text right now. 

She pulled out her phone from her back pocket. Maybe some mindless scrolling? 

Or maybe she could…

No. No, she shouldn’t. 

But as soon as the thought entered her head, it was the only thing she could think about. Just imagining it made her press her thighs together to relieve the ache that started building there from just the thought of it. 

The thought of him. 

If you asked any of her friends, they would tell you that Elain most definitely didn’t watch porn.

She was too much of a prude and too innocent. And maybe they were correct - she wouldn’t watch porn. She had tried it once or twice but she couldn’t make it past the first 30 seconds without thinking about the objectification of the female body. And then she started thinking about that documentary she had watched once about how porn can ruin the way people enjoy sex. And the other documentary about how young girls are groomed into porn. 

And then she had to turn it off, feeling disgusted by herself. 

But then one night a few weeks ago, she overheard two customers talking about audio porn. Just the fact that these two girls talked about porn so openly had made Elain blush. Elain made a show of wiping down the already clean counter just to appear busy, but actually, she was intrigued. And curious. She couldn’t really wrap her mind around the concept of audio porn. Was is just the sounds of people having sex? How could that be arousing?

But one of the women said that she probably had one of her best orgasms ever after listening to a certain audio and Elain had been single and horny for months now (to be fair, she had been horny for years since her ex, Graysen, couldn’t pleasure her at all), so that night, Elain put her phone on incognito mode, and searched for audio porn. She hadn’t known what to expect, but she certainly hadn’t expected to find out that there were multiple apps for audio porn. She also realized that you could find it on regular porn sites, and on reddit of all places (but then again, you can find most things on reddit, she thought to herself). 

Elain didn’t really know where to start but since she didn’t want to support the big porn sites, she felt that an app might be better. And maybe it was fate, but one of the apps had a 30 day trial for new members. Her finger hovered over the install button for a few seconds. Was she really contemplating downloading a porn app? What on earth would her friends and sisters say if they found out? Would they make fun of her?

Probably. 

But, would they ever find out? What were the odds of them going through her phone? Absolutely zero. 

There was no way anyone would find out unless she actually told them. Moreover, this was just her researching something she was curious about. She would delete the app in just a few minutes anyway. She just needed to know what it was. There was absolutely no other reason. And she knew that she wouldn’t like it. She detested porn. This would probably be just as horrible. But still, she needed to know. 

So she downloaded The Night Court app, fully intending on deleting it after listening to one or two audios. 

That had been weeks ago. 

The app was still on Elain’s phone. 

All because of him. 

To be fair, the first audio she had listened to had indeed made her want to delete the app. She had just clicked the first link she had found and been prepared to hear two people have sex. She just thought that audio porn was regular porn but without the visual stimulation. 

She couldn’t have been more wrong. This kind of porn was definitely more of the interactive kind where the listener played a role in the fantasy. Elain had promised herself to listen to three minutes before turning it off, and exactly at the three minute mark, that’s what she did. First of all, the voice of the male actor did nothing to her. His voice was soft and teasing, but not in a good way. And the southern lilt to his voice wasn’t her cup of tea either. But the thing that really made her dislike it was the fact that he called himself daddy. 

Elain had never been one to kink-shame, mainly because she liked to pretend as if she knew nothing about kink. Sure, her sex life had never been anywhere close to kinky, but the books she sometimes read begged to tell a different story. She had, however, never enjoyed daddy kink. So when the voice actor said “I think it’s time for daddy to punish his little baby”, Elain cringed and stopped listening. It was definitely not for her. 

But she decided to give it one more go. After all, it couldn’t be called research if she didn’t listen to at least one more audio. She scrolled through the different categories until she found something that didn’t sound too horrible. She stayed away from anything with the words daddy, baby girl and kitten. She also scrolled past anything about pain, punishment and degradation.

And thank god she did. Because after a good ten minutes of scrolling, she found him. 

Shadowsinger.

The man with a voice soft as velvet and dark as shadows. He made her body sing in ways she had never imagined possible. And she had no idea who he was, which was part of the thrill. He could be anyone. He could be an ugly dude living in his mother’s basement, though Elain doubted it. With a voice like that, she reasoned, he had to be hot. In her mind, he was definitely hot. In her mind, he looked like all the dark haired love interests she had read about in her romance novels. 

After just listening to him for a minute, Elain knew that she would be paying for this app for quite some time. 

And here she was, weeks later and still craving his sensual voice and dirty words. Elain had never imagined that she liked dirty talk, but god had she been wrong. When done right, it was the hottest thing imaginable. 

And tonight, Elain really needed someone to just take the edge off so she could sleep. 

Phone in hand, she made her way to her bedroom. She unbuttoned her jeans and slid them down her legs before getting under her duvet. She still felt too exposed to touch herself without being covered. She reached for her headphones on the nightstand and swiped on her phone until she found the app that she had strategically placed in a folder called “health and fitness”. Nobody would ever think that she hid her porn there. 

In her favorites folder, there was only one name; Shadowsinger Audio. 

She clicked on his name, which brought her to his library. So far, she had listened to eight of his works. She was a bit embarrassed when she thought about the fact that she regularly consumed porn, but she felt a bit better knowing that this man willingly posted his audios to this app. She found the audio she was looking for; one of his guided mastubation sessions. He had made quite a few and they were Elain’s favorites. She didn’t really like the ones that involved too much roleplay since they didn’t feel very authentic. Some of them were okay though, especially the ones with a good story. 

This one was called “making my good girl feel good after a long day”, which was exactly what she needed. 

She made herself comfortable in bed and pressed play. 

“You’ve had quite the day today, haven’t you?” the smooth voice asked, sending tingles down her spine in an instant. She nodded, even though there was no one to see her respond to the question. 

“I know. You really do work too much. Do you need me to make you feel better?”

She nodded again and put the phone down beside her. 

“I wish I could be there with you,” he said. “I wish I could feel your soft skin, but since I’m so far away we will have to make do.”

Elain closed her eyes and tried to relax into his voice. Every single time, she was almost surprised by how it made her insides melt. His voice was like whiskey and honey, smokey and sweet all at the same time. 

“First, I need you to undress for me. Can you do that?”

There was a pause and Elain reached for the hem of her top and pulled it off her body. Then she reached back and unclasped her bra. Her nipples were already hard. She was just about to undress fully when he said, “keep your panties on though. I want to see how wet we can make them before I let you touch yourself properly.”

Elain let out a little whine at the command. She felt silly yet aroused. This man could make her feel things no other man could. And he wasn’t even real. He was just someone who recorded porn for a living. It didn’t matter though. This was exactly what she needed. 

“Good girl,” he purred. “You are so fucking beautiful.”

The praise sent shivers down her entire body. A soft ache had settled between her legs. 

“Now, I want you to run your right hand up your stomach, over your ribs and just gently touch the outside of your breast.”

Elain did as she was told. 

“I want you to softly caress your chest and then I want you to touch your breast with just your fingertips. But don’t touch your nipple yet.”

Elain let her fingers explore her soft skin. Slowly, she drew circles around her nipple, making sure not to touch it even though she ached to do so. 

“Good. Now, do the exact same thing with your other hand.”

Breathing slowly, Elain let her left hand mirror her right hand. Her nipples were hard and aching, desperate to be touched.

“Fuck, you look so good like this. I bet you are so desperate for more right now. If I was there, I would straddle your hips and take one of your nipples in my mouth, letting my tongue play with it while my hand cupped your other breast. I bet you would taste so sweet. But since I’m not there, you will have to help me. I need you to slowly and gently touch those pretty nipples,”

Elain let out a breath and let her fingertips draw smaller and smaller circles until she could tug her nipples gently between her fingers. I felt so good. She imagined her handsome stranger straddling her, just like he said he would. In her imagination, he was faceless, but it didn’t matter. She just needed to imagine the weight of his body and his hands on her skin. She imagined that his hands would be bigger, rougher. She imagined his head on her chest, his warm mouth teasing her nipple. A small moan escaped her lips.

“Such a sweet girl for me,” he murmured, his voice even deeper than before. “That feels good, doesn’t it? Are you imagining me on top of you? Because I am thinking of having you underneath me. Pinning you down with my hips. You would be able to feel just how hard you make me.”

And yes, she was imagining just that.  

“Now, let your hand travel lower. Caress your soft stomach. God, just thinking of how soft you feel is driving me crazy.”

Elain had never particularly liked her stomach. It was indeed soft, and she usually joked that you could tell that she liked pasta and cinnamon buns from just looking at her. But when this man told her that her softness was attractive, she believed him. She felt beautiful. She let her hands stroke down her sides and then across her stomach, just under her belly button. 

“If I was there, I would kiss every inch of you. I would lick and bite and nip, unable to control myself. And I know you would like that. You would be begging me for more,” he chuckled. “Always so impatient. But I would take my time. I would make you beg.”

I whimper escaped her lips at those words. She would definitely beg this man for more if he was here. If he was real. She was already getting wet and they had just gotten started. 

“You would be so desperate for me to kiss you, but I wouldn’t. I would want you all needy and wet. All worked up. Because that’s what you need, isn’t it? You need me to take your mind off everything else in your life.”

Elain nodded, mouthing the word, ‘yes’. 

“You need me,” he growled. “Say it. Tell me how much you need me. How much you want this.”

Elain hesitated for a second, but then whispered, “I need you” into the darkness. 

He chuckled again. “I know, sweetheart. So fucking needy.” She could hear him let out a long breath. “Now, I want you to stroke your hips and your thighs. Feel how soft you are. Imagine my strong hands touching you everywhere.”

Elain moved her hands over her hips, down to her thighs. She squeezed, imagining a pair of rough hands on her. She let her thumbs stroke the inside of her thighs. She was so warm, so hot. She knew that she was wet already. 

As if he could read her mind, he asked, “you’re wet already, aren’t you? Always so wet and eager for me.”

And once again, Elain whimpered ‘yes’, as if he could hear her answer.

“You need to have your pussy touched, don’t you? You’re aching so badly.” There was a teasing tone to his voice that drove Elain mad. If he had been there with her, she would have told him to stop playing. To stop teasing her like this. 

“Since I’m so nice, I’ll give you what you need.”

She almost wanted to thank him. 

“You can use one finger and feel just how wet we have managed to get those pretty panties of yours.”

Elain almost snorted. Her panties were definitely not pretty. They were full coverage, gray cotton. And they said “Tuesday” even though it was most definitely Friday. But she didn’t think of her underwear for long because she had been given directions. Elain let her middle finger stroke between her thighs, feeling just how damp the fabric was. He was just about to move the finger up to where she needed it most when he said, “I didn’t tell you to touch your clit.”

Elain let out a frustrated groan but kept her finger over her entrance. Luckily, no one was here to witness the fact that she got even wetter when he told her off like that. 

“I know,” he cooed, “I know that you want my fingers on you right there. You want my fingers and my mouth and my cock, don’t you? God, I wish I could taste you. I bet you taste as sweet as honey. I could stay between your legs all fucking day. Wouldn’t you like that? I bet you would.”

She could honestly not think of anything she wanted more right now. 

“Fuck, those little whimpers you would make. Just thinking about it…” he growled. He actually growled and fuck if that didn’t make her oh so very wet. 

“Are you wet, huh? Tell me how wet you are for me. Tell me what I’ve been able to do without even being there,”

‘So wet’ Elain mouthed. She was breathing quickly now. If he didn’t let her touch herself soon, she would just hit pause and take care of it on her own. But as always, he seemed to know exactly what she needed. 

“Take your panties off now, sweetheart. I need to have access to all of you.”

Without missing a beat, Elain slid her underwear down her legs. 

“Fuck, look at you. So fucking pretty for me,” he said, his voice smooth and rough at the same time. “Spread your legs for me, sweetheart. Show me exactly how wet you are. Show me where you so desperately want me to touch you.”

Without even thinking, Elain spread her legs under the covers. She was hot all over and aching for his touch. Or her own touch. Hell, she was just aching to have an orgasm at this point. Elain had placed her hands on her thighs again, not daring to touch herself before he told her to. He could obviously not see her, but there was just something so arousing about following his directions. It made her feel good. 

Shadowsinger chuckled. “So wet. I know you want to be filled up. To be teased and tasted and fucked until you beg me to stop. Isn’t that right?”

Elain focused on his words, imagining her faceless stranger in bed with her. He wouldn’t be naked though. No, in her fantasies he was most often fully dressed. She didn’t know why, but there was something about that power dynamic that was extremely hot to her. 

“Now, you can use one finger again and touch yourself, but not your clit. Not yet. You have to be patient for me, angel. Patience is always rewarded, you know that.”

Elain used her middle finger to part herself. God, she was wet and hot and horny and desperate. She circled her entrance while waiting for him to continue. There was a thrill in not knowing exactly what he would have her do next. Would she be allowed to finger herself? Would she be able to touch her clit anytime soon? Was there something she should do with her other hand while she fucked herself?

And as always, Shadowsinger had answers to all of her naughty questions. With a teasing tone, he murmured, “you want to push that finger inside, don’t you? You would like to imagine that it’s me touching you, filling you up.”

Elain could do nothing but nod, too lost in her own arousal to care about how silly it was that she responded to a pre-recorded audio. 

“Go on, then. Push inside.”

Elain didn’t hesitate. She pushed one long finger into herself, moaning at the sensation. It was wonderful and not enough at the same time. She needed more. 

“That feels good, doesn’t it? Go on, move it for me. Fuck that tight little pussy with your finger,” he ordered, and Elain obeyed. “It’s not enough, is it? You need more, hmm?”

Yes, yes, yes, Elain though. Please give me more. 

“I know,” he cooed. “I know. You can use one more finger, but make sure not to come yet. Not that you would. You need even more than that to come, don’t you? Greedy girl.”

Again, Elain did just as he said, adding a second finger. In doing so, the heel of her palm grazed her clit and she had to really focus in order not to give in and just fuck herself fast and hard. Elain’s eyes were closed even though it was dark and in her mind, she could almost see Shadowsinger there with her - in her bed, next to her. His long fingers buried deep inside her while whispering all kinds of naughty praise in her ear. 

On multiple occasions, she had thought to herself that if this man had a girlfriend, she was probably the happiest woman in the world. She must definitely be more than satisfied…

“There we go. You’re doing so well. My good girl.”

Elain shivered at the praise. Listening to him speak to her like that sent electricity through her entire body. 

“But you still need more. You’ve had such a shitty day and you need me to make you feel good. I know that I’m teasing you, but your mind is exactly where I want it. The only thing you can think of right now is how good this feels. You are just waiting for me to tell you what to do next, isn’t that right? You need me to tell you. You need to give up control. You need me to own your body, if only for tonight. And that’s exactly what I am doing. Owning you. Teasing you. Telling you what to do and what not to do. I might even be driving you mad since I am taking my time doing so,” he murmured. 

Elain bit her lip. She both hated and loved that he knew what she was thinking. What she was feeling. How on earth could he do that? 

“Okay, now take your other hand and move it to your lips. I want you to take two fingers into your mouth.” Elain hesitated for a moment. She had never sucked on her own fingers unless it was to lick something away - like ice cream or chocolate. But she trusted him, and to be honest, if she didn’t like it she could just stop. Nobody would know. So she took her middle and ring finger into her mouth, sucking on them experimentally. It didn’t feel wrong, exactly. But she didn’t understand why she was doing it either. 

That is, until he spoke again. “Good girl. Fuck, you look so good like that. Do you know how often I imagine you like this, all naked and needy and with your mouth full?”

Elain blushed at the words. 

“God, if I was there, I would fuck that pretty little mouth while you touched yourself. You’d like that, wouldn’t you? You always had such an oral fixation,” he chuckled. “I want you to imagine me doing just that. I want you to close your eyes and think about me putting my big cock between your lips, fucking you, using you.”

Elain’s eyes rolled back in her head at those words. And when he let out that low, sensual growl again, she moaned around her finger. She was imagining him standing next to the bed now. She had turned her head, just as she would have if he was really there. She was imagining him thrusting into her mouth, filling her so completely. 

She almost came from just thinking about it.

“Okay, I think it’s time to put you out of your misery. Now, I want you to press the heel of your palm to your clit.”

Elain did as ordered and gasped at the sensation. God, she wouldn’t last much longer. 

“Good thing you have your mouth full, or else your neighbors would hear just how much you are enjoying this,” he teased. “Go ahead and fuck yourself. Do exactly what you need to get closer, but don’t come. You are not allowed to come until I tell you to.”

Elain kept her fingers in her mouth as she started to fuck her own hand. She was moving her hips, getting the friction she so desperately needed. Her mind was completely blank. The only thing she thought about was waiting for his next words. Right now, his words were like a religion and Elain had most definitely joined the cult. 

“Okay, angel. I’ll count down from ten, and when I reach one, you can come.”

She rolled her eyes in frustration and slowed down her movements. She would have to make it to ten. She just had to. Nobody would know if she didn’t, but it wouldn’t be as satisfying. And she wouldn’t deserve the praise at the end if she came sooner, so she made sure to concentrate and keep herself on the edge for a while longer. 

“10, 9, 8, you’re doing so well. Just a little bit longer,” he said, but Elain barely heard him. She was too lost in her pleasure to pay much attention right now. 

“7, 6, 5, there we go. Such a good fucking girl.”

Elain wondered why he waited a small eternity between every single number. He must be a freaking sadist, she thought. 

“4, 3, 2 almost there, sweetheart. I know you’re close now, aren’t you? So fucking close.”

And Elain was close. She was so fucking close. In her mind, she was laying naked on her bed, fucking her hand while this handsome stranger was fucking her mouth. He was dressed in black and had only unbuttoned his trousers in order to give her his cock. And that mental picture was what tipped her over the edge.

Just as he said, “One. That’s it. You can come now. Come for me,” Elain came. She came hard, moaning around the fingers in her mouth. His voice was drowned out by the rushing in her ears for a few seconds, and when she came back down again, she was happy to realize that he was still there. Or well, his voice was. 

Elain took her fingers out of her mouth and relaxed into the bed. She kept her palm pressed to her heat as she came down from the orgasm. 

“Such a good girl. Are you feeling better?”

Elain nodded, too lost to pleasure to do anything else. 

“Good. You know I always want to make you feel good. If you need me again, don’t hesitate to call.”

And with that, he was gone.  And she was alone again.  Alone, tired and satisfied. 

All thanks to Shadowsinger. Whoever he was. 

#elriel #elriel fanfiction #elriel fanfic #elain x azriel #dottielovegoodfanfiction

[dottielovegood]

Shadowsinger [erotic audio for women, nsfw] - part 2

Chapter title: The meeting

Chapter one Read this fic here on AO3

Summary: Azriel does audio porn. Elain is a big fan.

(Disclaimer: No, this is not an audio fic)

Content warning: sexual content and dirty talk.

________________________________

Like so many other nights, Elain found herself with her hand between her legs and the sultry voice of Shadowsinger in her ears. 

“Ask for it. Ask for me to take you.”

Elain whined in frustration, but mouthed the words nonetheless. Even though he wasn’t really there, it was as if her brain was telling her that she might get to come if she did what he asked. It was silly, really. But she was desperate. And horny. And fuck, he was teasing her. 

The title of the audio hadn’t been lying. “Teasing you until you beg”. 

Elain was begging. She had been begging for the last five hours. In reality it might not have been more than fifteen minutes, twenty tops, but it sure did feel like an eternity. At first, he just teased her with words. Telling her to lay completely still while he told her all the dirty, naughty things he wanted to do to her. The places he would lick and bite and fuck. 

And then, when she was practically panting, he allowed her to touch herself. She had and almost whispered a ‘thank you’ because she was certain that he would let her come after all that verbal teasing. 

But then the real teasing began. It was like the sweetest form of torture and Elain didn’t know if she hated it or loved it. She only knew that she wanted more.

Needed it. 

He had brought Elain close to orgasm two times already, and each time he had ordered her to stop just before she reached her peak. She was getting frustrated by now and she didn’t dare trust that he would let her come this time. 

“Oh, sweetheart. I know,” he purred in her ear. “I know you’re desperate to come, but you can hold on for a bit longer. It will be worth the wait.”

And for some idiotic reason, Elain trusted him. She trusted that it would be worth the wait. So far, he had never let her down. But he had also never teased her like this before. 

“Are you begging yet?” he asked, his voice low and seductive. Every time she heard his voice, Elain imagined herself being wrapped in velvet. It was smooth and soothing and made her go feral in a way she never had thought possible. And yes, she was begging. 

“Please,” she whispered into the darkness of her room. She was rubbing her clit just the way she liked it but slower than usual. She didn’t want to accidentally orgasm without permission. She didn’t want to disappoint him, even though he would never find out. 

Shadowsinger chuckled then and the sound made even more heat flush Elain’s core. God, she was wet. And needy. She needed to come. 

“Fuck, you’re so pretty when you beg. I love how desperate you get for me. How needy you are for my cock.”

Elain’s eyes rolled back. That stupid bastard had to let her come soon or she might die. 

“I bet that little pussy feels so empty right now,” he growled. “If you only knew how much I want to fill you. How much I want to make you mine. I just want to stretch you out until you’re blissfully full and fuck you until you forget you own fucking name.”

Elain had forgotten her name a long time ago by now. The only words in her brain were “Please,” and “Shadowsinger.” Or “Shadow”, as she had started to refer to him in her head. 

“You’re being such a good girl for me, you know that? Letting me tease and edge you all night. Next time, I should tie you down and tease you with a vibrator. And everytime you think you’re about to come, I’ll remove it. Again and again until you’re begging me to take you. Until you’re ready to be fully mine.”

Elain let out a low moan, imagining herself tied to her bed, her dark stranger on his knees beside her. She wondered what it would feel like to actually be teased with a vibrator like that, by a man with a voice like his. It would surely be even more intense than this?

Elain was positive that she wouldn’t be able to handle it. 

And that made her wonder what would happen if she couldn’t handle it. What would happen if she came too soon? Would she be punished?

Was there really a punishment worse than being teased like this?

She doubted it. Though, her imaginatoin wasn’t very good when it came to sex and she was certain that Shadow would be able to come up with something that she would never even be able to imagine. 

“I want you to go a bit faster now, sweetheart. Fuck that pretty little cunt with your hand.”

She did what she was told and prayed to gods she didn’t believe in that this would be the last time. That this was when he would let her come. 

“Good girl,” he purred, and as always, the praise went straight to her core. “You’ve been so good for me. I think it’s time for your reward. Would you like that, angel?”

Elain could do nothing but nod. 

“Then come for me, sweetheart. Show me just how hard I can make you come. I want to hear how good it feels.”

Within two seconds, Elain was shaking. And within five, she was gasping, reaching that peak. Her eyes rolled back in her head and then she was coming. The orgasm gripped her and sent her into another dimension. She was moaning, begging. Thanking him. She was probably loud, but she couldn’t even care about that because fuck, it felt so good. 

Afterward, she just lay there. She couldn't move. Could barely think. The only thing she could do was to stay still and enjoy the feeling. 

When her brain finally functioned again, her first thought was; I wonder what it would would feel like to fuck a man like that?

She blushed at the thought. Even though no one was there to hear her, she still wasn’t used to such crude thoughts entering her head. She also wasn’t used to having great orgasms, so there’s that. 

She had been with men before, but she had never ever had a single orgasm during sex. In the beginning, she faked it. She thought that it was her duty to come and if she didn’t, there was something wrong with her. After an orgasm-less year with her ex though, she was certain that there was something wrong with her so she just told him that she couldn’t come and that it was okay. 

He stopped even trying to get her off after that.

But somehow, and she didn’t understand why, she imagined that Shadow would be able to make her come. He had already made her come with just his words, so surely he would be able to make her come if he could use his body? If he could use his fingers or his tongue or his…

No. No, she should not be thinking such things. It was one thing to listen to audio porn in the middle of the night, but a completely different thing to imagine him fucking her for real. It felt like crossing some sort of invisible line. Especially since they would never meet in real life anyway. If she thought about him too much, she was afraid that she might be disappointed by any other man she slept with. 

But god, Elain couldn’t help but envy the girl who got to date him. 

–------------

It was a gray Tuesday in Velaris. Elain was working a eight-hour shift at the coffee shop and she had just celebrated the third hour of said shift ending and the fourth beginning. The small victories in life. 

To be fair, she actually liked her job. She enjoyed talking to customers and making lattes and cappuccinos. She liked her co-workers and her boss was actually really nice. She was just tired. She felt like she was in a constant state of never sleeping enough and drinking too many caffeinated beverages, which wasn’t the best combo at the end of the day. 

Today, she was working with her best friends, Nuala and Cerridwen. They had gotten to know each other here at the coffee shop and she had liked them instantly. Today, Nuala was in the back while Cerridwen and Elain handled the register and the orders. The coffee shop was almost empty, which felt great after a busy lunch. Only a few stragglers had stayed and they all sat behind their computers, probably working on their school work. They looked like college students, which is why Elain wasn’t surprised by the fact that they seemed to be able to make a cup of coffee last for two hours. Which college student wanted to buy two cups of coffee? 

No one. 

But they all wanted to access the free wifi. Elain didn’t care. She knew what it was like to live with shitty wifi in a small apartment. For years, she had shared her space with her sisters and she would go out to study any chance she could. She almost wrote a thank-you-note to her favorite coffee shop when she passed her final exam. 

She was wiping down the counter when the door opened. She didn’t look up since it was Cerridwen’s turn to take the orders. Elain lifted a stack of take away cups and wiped the surface underneath them. 

“Hello, what can I get you today?” Cerridwen asked the customer. 

“Just coffee, thank you.”

Under any normal circumstance, Elain would have rolled her eyes. That was such a vague order. But today, she froze, towel in hand and eyes stuck on the clean countertop. A tingly sensation traveled down her spine, as if someone had opened the door again and she had been struck by a cold wind. But it was June and she was warm. 

Too warm. 

Was it…

No, it couldn’t be. Her mind was playing tricks on her. 

Elain could hear the smile in Cerridwen’s voice as she asked, “What kind of coffee? We have latte, cappuccino, frappuccino, espresso, americano, iced latte, cortado–”

“Honestly, I have no idea what that means. I’ll just have a coffee. Black.”

Elain dropped the towel. 

She knew that voice. Or at least, she thought she did. But it couldn’t be him. That would be too weird. He probably just had a very similar voice. That could happen, right? That two people were born with the same voice. Like voice twins. 

Voice twins was definitely a thing. 

Elain didn’t dare to look at him, which was good since she was unable to move anyway. 

“Would you like the Brazilian, Ethiopian or Colombian blend?” 

There was a beat of silence and Elain could hear her heartbeat in her ears as she waited for him to speak again. Surely, she had been mistaken?

“I, uh–”

“Do you want me to just give you my favorite?” Cerridwen asked, just like she always did when people couldn’t make a decision. It happened more often than you would think. 

The customer chuckled. “Please. I will probably not even be able to tell the difference.”

“Oh, you will. You’ll have one sip and then you’ll never be able to drink any other kind of coffee. It’s just that good.”

Finally, Elain unfroze. Not completely, but she was able to force herself to look in his direction. It was the chuckle that was her undoing. That god damned chuckle that she had heard so many times by now. She would never forget that sound. Never forget how it made her insides melt. 

In front of the register stood a tall man. A very tall man. He was dressed in black trousers and a gray button down. His dark hair was short, but not too short. It was a bit messy, as if he had just raked his hand through it. And then there was his face. His complexion was darker than Elain’s. Almost golden. His lips were full and his eyes were sharp. 

And those eyes. Those dark hazel eyes…

He was looking at her. Those eyes were looking straight at her. 

Fuck, he was even more handsome than Elain could have ever imagined. How on earth could a man look that good? It must surely be illegal. 

And then, when Elain thought it couldn’t get worse, he shattered her by smiling. It was small, a barely there tug at the corners of his lips, but a smile nonetheless. And if Elain thought him handsome before, this little smile just transformed him into a god. 

And Elain just stood there, staring at him like a madwoman. She couldn’t move. Couldn’t think. It was him. It was really him. And he was here, in her coffee shop, on a regular gray Tuesday. It was wrong. It was all so very wrong and she was a weirdo. A frozen statue of a weirdo. If she didn’t move soon, the twins would have to make a plaque and put beside her that read; Here stands Elain Archeron, the weird girl that listens to audio porn and stares at strangers. 

“Hello.” Cerridwen’s voice was what finally pulled Elain out of her own mind. Elain dragged her eyes away from him and tried her best to focus on her friend. She could feel herself blush. Cerridwen was looking at her, an amused expression on her face. 

“Yes?” Elain asked, feeling as though she had missed something when she was stuck in her trance. 

“I asked if you could get this man his coffee. The good kind,” Cerridwen offered the man a smile before returning her gaze to Elain, eyebrows raised in question. 

“Oh, right. Yes, of course. Coffee. Good.” Elain was babbling. She had forgotten that it was her job to actually make the coffee while her friend took the orders. 

Elain turned around and walked over to the three thermoses that stood lined up against the back. She reached for a cup and poured him a generous amount of coffee. He had wanted it black, right? She hoped so, because there would be no room for milk. 

Carefully, she balanced the cup and slid it onto the counter. “There you go. Coffee.” She wanted to slap herself. Obviously, it was a cup of coffee. She didn’t have to tell him what he ordered. But at least he had his coffee now and then he could go away and Elain could go back to having a normal day where she wasn’t thinking about the fantastic orgasm she had experienced just last night. An orgasm that he inspired. 

Fuck. 

Now she was thinking about it. 

The man said nothing, but Cerridwen kicked Elain under the counter. “He wanted it to-go.”

Elain stared at her friend, and then at the cup in front of her. And surely, she had given him a regular cup. Not just that, she had poured his coffee into a cappuccino cup. 

She knew that she was an even shade of red when she reached for the cup. “God, I’m so sorry. I’ll just–”

“It’s fine,” he said, amusement in his voice. 

Elain dared to look at him again. Was that really right? Did he sound amused? Most customers would be annoyed by such a mistake. But on his face there was no trace of annoyance. There were, however, a few small lines around his eyes as he smiled at her again. 

Shit. 

He should stop smiling. 

Smiling like that might ruin someone’s life. 

“I’m usually not like this,” Elain muttered, more to herself than anything as she started to make her way over to the sink to pour the coffee down the drain. She shop’s policy was that they weren’t allowed to just pour the coffee from one cup to another. If they used the wrong cup, they had to start over. 

It was wasteful and Elain hated it, but there was nothing she could do. 

He chuckled again. “We all have those days. Just take your time.”

“Thank you.” 

Once again, she made her way over to the coffee station. This time, she really thought about what she was doing. 1. A take away cup. 2. Pour coffee. 3. Put on the lid. She checked everything off in her head as if it was the most complicated order she had ever gotten. 

“Here you go,” she said and handed Shadowsinger his coffee. No, not shadowsinger. The customer. He was a customer. And a stranger. And she had no right to think of him as anything else. 

Even though he is clearly a sex god. 

She gave herself a mental slap. 

“I’m sorry for the inconvenience.” She was looking at his chest now. She imagined that it would be safer to focus on his shirt. She didn’t want to become a babbling idiot again and his dark eyes seemed to make her into one. But she was wrong. Oh, she was so wrong. Because when he reached for the cup, she could see the fabric stretch over his pecs. He had pecs and they looked strong and his arms looked strong too and…

Oh, my god. 

Get your mind out of the gutter, Elain. 

“Thank you. And there was no inconvenience. I promise I won’t leave a bad yelp review.”

Was that a joke? Was this man funny too? 

Elain thought that men like him only existed in romance novels. 

She still didn’t dare to look him in the eye. 

“Well, that’s very kind of you, sir. Have a great day.”

She expected the man to leave now that he had his coffee. But he just stood there, looking at her. Had she forgotten something? She looked around to see if Cerrdiwen was preparing some food for him, but she was nowhere to be found. Elain spun around, looking for her friend. She was gone. When had she left? 

When Elain faced the front of the store again, he was still there. Still looking at her. And damn, she looked at his face again. 

She knew, without a doubt, that she would never be able to listen to his audios again. She would have to delete the app. She couldn’t listen to him now that she knew what he looked like. When she knew what his body looked like. When she new how lovely his eyes were–

“Can I get you something else?” she asked, mainly because she couldn’t stand the awkwardness. She might also want to hear his voice again. Just one last time. 

His eyes went to the baked goods to his right. “Well, I haven’t had lunch yet. What would you recommend?”

Elain desperately wished that one of the twins would make an appearance so she could hide in the back. She was usually very good at recommending food to customers, but right now her mind was blank. 

“Uh,” she started. “It depends on what you’re in the mood for. We have both savory and sweet options.”

“Well, I am known for having a big sweet tooth.” A crooked smile played on his lips and Elain was done for. That voice. That sexy, smooth, silky voice did things to her even when it didn’t whisper naughty things in her ear. Even when it didn’t call her a good girl. 

And now she was imagining him smiling at her like that, calling her a good girl while he fucked–-

No, stop it. 

“Well, then I would recommend the cinnamon rolls or the chocolate babka,” Elain said when she was able to force herself back to reality. Those were the things that most customers ordered, so they were safe to recommend. 

“Hmm,” he said, appearing to be weighing his options. “Which is your favorite?”

“Oh, I– they’re both good.”

“I guess I’ll have both then.”

Elain nodded. With a body like that, he didn’t look like a man that ate two desserts in one day. But then again, he probably worked out a lot so he might burn off the calories quickly. Or maybe he burned off the calories in some other way…

“Yes, right. Of course. Both are good.” Elain hurried to put the two sweet treats in a box before her mind had the chance to make a fool out of her. 

He paid and she handed him the box. She didn’t ask him anything else because she couldn’t risk him saying anything because, apparently, her brain was a horny little mess that wanted to ruin her life. 

But he didn’t leave. Elain wanted to sink to the floor and hide. Where the hell was Cerridwen? And why were there no other customers in line? Why couldn’t the universe be kind to her just this once?

“Thank you,” he said after what seemed like an eternity. Elain wanted to sob because that meant he was leaving and that she wouldn’t have to be tortured by his voice anymore. 

The way he tortured and teased you last night…

He held up his cup and gave her one last smile. She noticed that there were a few specks of green in his dark eyes. They were mesmerizing. “If this coffee is as good as your colleague promised, I guess I’ll be seeing you again.” he said. 

Elain hoped that the coffee was disgusting. But she knew it wasn’t. It was fantastic. 

She should have fucked up his order. 

“Well, I hope you’ll enjoy it.” Elain put on her most customer friendly smile. “Have a nice day.”

“You too.”

And with that, he was gone. 

Elain was just about to stick her head in the freezer when Cerridwen finally made an appearance. 

“Where were you?” Elain hissed. “I was all alone. What if there had been a rush of customers?”

Cerridwen looked around. There were only two people in the entire shop and they both seemed transfixed on their computers. She shrugged, “looks pretty dead to me.”

“But we're always supposed to be two people out here.” Elain usually wouldn’t care. She had worked the register alone multiple times, especially when there was a lull in the early afternoon. But today, she cared. Today, she had been visited by a sex god and made an utter fool of herself. She blamed Cerridwen.

“Anyway,” Cerridwen said, “we needed more take away cups.”

Elain looked at the full stack of cups and then back at her friend. “You’re not carrying any cups.”

“Whoops,” she said and winked at Elain. “I guess I forgot them. Silly me.”

“I hate you,” Elain muttered. 

“No, you don’t.”

Elain was just about to answer when the door opened and a stream of people made their way into the shop. The rest of the day was busy, thank god. She barely had time to think about the fact that Shadowsinger had been just on the other side of that counter. 

By the end of the day, she had almost convinced herself that it was a dream. Almost. But of course, her stupid friends had to remind her of him.

Elain was mopping the floor while Nuala was cleaning the espresso machine. “So, a little birdie told me that a very handsome customer flirted with you earlier.”

“Really?” Elain glared at her. “Was this little birdie your backstabbing sister?”

A wide smile spread across Nuala’s face. “It might have been. But she didn’t have to tell me. I could feel the sexual tension all the way to the kitchen. The sandwiches I made were extra sexy today because of it.”

“Stop it.”

“No, really. I had to take a peak and damn girl. He was hot!”

“He was just a customer,” Elain muttered and mopped the same spot again. And again. 

“Mhm, just a customer,” Cerridwen interjected. “Because you usually stare at customers like they are the most delicious cake in the history of cakes.”

“Maybe I was hungry. I hadn’t had my lunch break yet.”

“Sure, you were hungry,” Cerridwen teased. “Hungry for him.”

“Shut up.” Elain ears grew warm. She hated how easily she blushed. She turned to Cerridwen, “Also, just so you know, we are not friends anymore. You betrayed me. You left me alone with him.”

A smile spread across her friend’s face, “So what? I thought he was just a regular customer.”

Elain tightened her grip on the mop and cursed her friends under her breath. And then she cursed herself for being so freaking awkward. 

“So, did you get his number at least?” Nuala asked. 

Elain shook her head quickly. “God, no. Of course not. Also, if I did find him attractive, which I’m not saying I did, he would probably not be interested in me. You should have seen me. I was a babbling fool.”

“At least you’re a cute fool.” Cerridwen patted her back. “Also, he was into you. From the moment he walked in, his eyes were focused on you. He barely even acknowledged me when he gave me his order.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. That’s why I left. He looked like he wanted to talk to you. Or actually, it looked like he wanted to do many things that didn’t involve talking.” Cerridwen wiggled her eyebrows and Elain couldn’t help the pathetic giggle that escaped her lips. Quickly, she slapped her hand over mouth. 

“Aw, he has you giggling,” Nuala teased. 

Elain thought about all the other sounds he had been able to elicit from her. Whimpers and moans and–

“Why are you blushing, Elain? Were you thinking of all the naughy, dirty things he could–”

“Stop!” Elain all but shouted. “For the love of god, stop.”

She couldn’t tell her friends that she had recognized his voice. She couldn’t tell them that he was the reason why she slept better than ever. That he gave her mind blowing orgasms a few nights a week. Orgasms that she now had to give up. 

The thought of deleting that app felt worse than her break up with her ex boyfriend. 

“He was handsome, okay?” she admitted. “I found him attractive and I was running on like four hours of sleep so I was extra awkward but that’s it. He’s not interested in me and I am not going to date a customer so can we please just drop this topic. I will probably never see him again anyway.”

The twins glanced at each other, a secret conversation playing out between them. Obviously, they couldn’t read each other’s minds, but they could communicate with only glances. And Elain really didn’t like the way they were looking at each other now, mischief in their eyes. 

“Fine, we’ll drop it. But if he comes in here again, it’s fate and you should definitely make a move. You haven’t dated anyone since Graysen. You need to–”

“I don’t need anything but some peace and quiet right now,” Elain interrupted. 

Nuala held up her hands in defeat, “Okay, I’ll be quiet. But if he asks you out on a date, I’ll hope you say yes.”

Elain snorted, “Yeah, as if that would ever happen.”

They didn’t know what he sounded like. They didn’t know what he could do with that voice of his. If they knew, they would know that he probably wasn’t single. Also, Elain could obviously not go on a date with him because she knew. It would be awkward and weird. Like, if they went on a date, should she tell him that she knows what he does for a living? Should she tell him that she’s a big fan of his work?

Elain imagined sitting down in a restaurant with him and telling him that he’s great at audio porn. Just the thought of it made her want to bury her head in sand like an ostrich. 

Luckily for her, they would never see each other again and he would never ask her on a date and she would delete that app and everything would be just fine and normal. 

Everything would be fine, except her libido. 

But that was a sacrifice she would have to make. 

That night when she got into bed, she reached for her phone. It was a habit by now. After a long, stressful day, she usually sought comfort in the husky voice of Shadowsinger. But tonight, the app was gone. 

She had deleted it on the bus ride home just so she wouldn’t be tempted. 

With a sigh, she clicked on the Youtube icon and searched for some ASMR instead. Before Shadowsinger, the sound of a brush on a microphone or some soft whispers made her relax and drift off to sleep. But tonight, the sounds felt like sandpaper in her ears. 

“Stupid Shadowsinger,” Elain muttered and turned off her phone. “Why did you have to be real?”

#elriel fanfiction #elriel fanfic #elriel #azriel x elain #elain x azriel #dottielovegoodfanfiction

[dottielovegood]

Bloom, chapter 3 (Elriel fanfic)

Chapter 1, chapter 2 Find this fic on AO3 here

Summary: Elain owns a flower shop Azriel owns a tattoo parlor A classic flower shop / tattoo parlor AU.

One night, Azriel meets the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Unfortunately, this is also the last time he sees her. Or so he thought.

It had been a few days since Elain had talked with Azriel on the bench outside their shops. Every time Elain thought back on that conversation, she couldn’t help but smile. Elain had always been a quiet soul, which unfortunately meant that she didn’t have many friends. For most of her life, she had tried to be the perfect daughter, sister or girlfriend which had left little room to actually form new relationships. She had always thought of herself as boring - mainly because people often told her that she was. She didn’t party. She didn’t take risks. She didn’t do anything without planning every detail beforehand. Because of this, a lot of people didn’t find her exciting. It took her quite a while to warm up to people and when she finally did, they had often lost their interest in her. But with Azriel, it felt different. Maybe because she didn’t expect to be his friend. She didn’t feel the need to be interesting which might be why it felt so natural to talk to him. Their conversation had been silly, but it had also been exactly what she needed that day. Earlier that morning, her ex boyfriend Graysen had shown up outside her apartment because he wanted some of his things back. Elain gladly gave him the box with things she had collected around the apartment the day after he dumped her. For a fleeting moment, she had entertained the idea of throwing it all away or maybe even setting it on fire, but that had seemed a bit dramatic so she just stored it in the back of her closet.

The visit had taken less than two minutes and he had barely spoken to her at all. He didn’t even ask how she was doing. And just before he left, he casually let slip that he was moving in with his new girlfriend. To say the least, the day was pretty shitty after that. His visit just reminded her of her own loneliness. When she moved to Velaris, Graysen had been her whole world. She had gone to school and opened her flower shop, but most of her free time had been spent with him. Her younger sister, Feyre, lived a few towns over with her boyfriend which meant that they didn’t see each other much. Nesta, her older sister, lived in Velaris but she had her own life and her own friends. She rarely had time for Elain. Not that Elain minded. She was happy for her sisters. She just wished that she would have made a few friends during college. 

But maybe Azriel could be a friend? Or at least someone to talk to now and again. During their talk, she realized how much she missed just talking about nothing with someone. 

–------------------

The bell above the door let out a soft chime, alerting Elain to a new customer. She put down the bouquet she had been binding and wiped her hands on her apron as she stepped out of the backroom of her store.

“Hello,” she greeted whoever had entered. 

“Hi,” a cheery voice answered. 

Elain recognized that voice. She looked up and met the warm smile of Cerridwen - the woman who worked with Azriel. She was wearing all black today. Black jeans, black shirt, black combat boots. Elain had noticed her a few times in the past months but they hadn’t talked since they met on the opening day of the tattoo parlor. Elain had noticed that she could look very different though, as if she had two personalities. One day she was wearing bold colors and big prints and the next day she was in all black - like today. 

“Oh, hello Cerridwen,” Elain said, happy that she remembered the woman’s name. 

The woman laughed and walked up to the counter where Elain kept her register. 

“That would be my sister.”

Elain looked at her, confusion painted on her face. The woman in front of Elain smiled and continued, “Cerridwen is my twin. I’m Nuala.” She offered her hand to Elain, who shook it while staring at the woman. Nuala. She felt stupid for not realizing that they were twins, but it did explain the very different fashion choices. It also explained why this woman had a nose piercing. The last time she met Cerridwen she hadn’t seen any piercings. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t…” Elain began but Nuala just smiled and shook her head. 

“No worries. It happens all the time.” Still smiling, she held Elain’s gaze. “You must be Elain.”

Elain nodded. “That’s me. No twin here,” she joked, and then she wanted to bury her head in her hands. That was such a stupid joke. But thankfully, Nuala just laughed. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Elain. I saw the bouquet you gave us for our opening. It was gorgeous.”

Elain blushed at the compliment. She had always been like that - unable to seem cool and unaffected when people praised her or her work. “Thank you,” she said. “Are you looking to buy some flowers?”

Nuala nodded and looked around the store. “Yeah, I guess I am.” She turned back to Elain, a small smirk playing on her lips.. “Do you have something that says ‘I’m sorry for shrinking your favorite dress in the laundry, please don’t make me sleep on the couch.’” 

Now, it was Elain’s turn to laugh. “I think we’re out of that particular flower, but I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thanks. I really need it. I really don’t feel like waking up with a sore back tomorrow.”

Elain walked over to the roses. Looking over her shoulder, she said, “It sounds like you’ve slept on the couch before” 

Nuala shrugged and scratched her neck, “a time or two.” 

“Well, lucky for you, there are quite a few flowers that are used for apologies. The people who came up with the language of flowers probably messed up quite often. How do you feel about roses? They can mean both ‘I love you’ and ‘I’m sorry.’”

“Sounds perfect. Just make the bouquet big. The dress was quite expensive. Oh, and can we use some red flowers? It’s her favorite color.”

Elain smiled and started picking out some flowers, most of them red. 

Elain really loved her job. She met people from all stages in life. People who bought flowers for friends and family and lovers. She particularly loved it when people wanted to buy something special for the people they loved, like Nuala. Flowers could mean so many things and giving flowers was such a wonderful way of showing someone you cared. Funnily enough, Elain had never received flowers from a loved one before. She had wished that Graysen would buy her some for her birthday or their anniversary, but he claimed that he didn’t need to since ‘she had a store full of flowers. And they would just die, anyway.’

Always the romantic…

When Elain was happy with her creation, she held it up for Nuala to inspect. 

“Perfect,” she said and leaned in to smell it. “She’ll love it.”

“I hope she will. But maybe you should get her some chocolate too, just to make sure you won’t wake up with back problems tomorrow?” Elain teased. 

Smiling, Nuala leaned her hip against the counter and nodded, “Yeah, I probably should. And wine. She loves wine. And if she drinks enough, she might forget about the dress.”

Elain crossed her fingers, “here’s to hoping,” she laughed and hurried into the back room to tie the bouquet. 

When Nuala had paid, she reached for the flowers and met Elain’s gaze again. She was just as stunning as her sister, and her eyes were just as warm. Even though Elain had only met them for a few minutes each, she could tell that they were kind people. It was something about the energy they gave off. 

“Thank you, Elain,” she said. “You’re a lifesaver.”

“I just hope your back won’t keep you from tattooing people tomorrow.”

“Oh, I don’t… I’m not a tattoo artist. I just poke holes in people,” Nuala said with a wink. 

Again, Elain stared at her in confusion before she understood the meaning of the words. Nuala pierced people. Elain had always been a bit scared of piercings. Sure, she had her ears pierced, but she had never even considered getting anything else pierced. As a teenager, Elain’s older sister, Nesta, had wanted to get her tongue pierced, to their fathers dismay. But as always with Nesta, she had just wanted some sort of reaction. She never actually went through with it. 

“Anyway, if you ever feel like getting pierced, I’ll be right next door. I’ll get you a discount on your first one.”

Elain smiled nervously, “I don’t think I’ll get a piercing anytime soon. But thanks for the offer.”

“If you change your mind, you know where to find me,” Nuala answered teasingly. “Well, I better be off. I want to make it home before my girlfriend can find the dress.”

“Smart move.”

“I’ll see you around, Elain.”

“See you around.”

Nuala walked to the door. Just as she opened it, she spoke over her shoulder, “oh, and you’re just as lovely as they said you were.”

Before Elain could ask who ‘they’ were, the door had closed behind Nuala. Elain stood there frozen, staring at the door until Agnes, one of her regular customers, walked in, effectively breaking her out of her trance. 

“Hi, dear. Do you have any tulips for me today?” 

Elain hurried over to the tulips, happy to have something to do. 

She was definitely not thinking about the fact that someone had called her lovely. 

And she was definitely not wondering if that someone could be Azriel. 

Later that evening, Elain had made herself comfortable on the bed. She had made herself a cup of tea and picked out a new book to read. Every night looked the same; a night time tea to help her sleep and a book to take her mind off things. It was a very important part of her routine. 

She had just opened her book and read three sentences when her phone rang. It was her younger sister.

“Good evening, Feyre,” she answered and put her book down beside her. 

“Hello,” her sister said and Elain tried to sense her mood from just her voice. Feyre had always been proud and independant, but there was just something that made Elain think that she needed to worry about her younger sister. Call it a hunch. It was silly, probably. Still, she had the feeling that Feyre wasn’t telling her everything about her life. Ever since Feyre had moved in with her boyfriend, Elain had a nagging feeling of discomfort every time they talked. And honestly, when they didn’t talk too. Maybe it was just part of being an older sister and a middle child - she always felt like she had to worry about her sisters and that it somehow was her fault if they weren’t happy. But today, there was nothing in Feyre’s tone that voiced any cause for concern so Elain tried to relax and tell herself that Feyre was doing well. 

She just wished that Feyre lived closer. She wanted to see her and talk to her more often. 

“How are you?” Feyre asked.

“I’m fine. I was just in bed reading a book.”

“In bed? It’s like nine o’clock. What are you? Retired?” The humor in her sister’s voice calmed Elain’s nerves. 

She chuckled, “No, I’m just a business owner who needs to be up early tomorrow for a wedding.”

“Really? How fun! I know you love weddings.”

It was true. Elain adored going to weddings. She loved picking out flowers with the couple and arranging them until the venue looked like a magical garden. Sometimes, they let her stay for the ceremony and Elain’s favorite part was watching the happy couple when they saw each other for the first time. As a child, Elain had always dreamed of getting married. She had never wanted a big wedding, but she had always wanted to be a bride. Now, when she was older and a bit more cynical, she wasn’t sure she would ever get married. That kind of life didn’t seem like it was in the cards for her anymore. 

“Yes, I’m really looking forward to it. Not only because they both seemed like lovely people, but they also had a crazy budget and wanted me to be creative,” she laughed. 

“Sounds great!”

Elain could hear the smile in Feyre’s voice which made her smile in turn. 

“So, what’s going on with you? Do you still like working at the restaurant?”

For the past few months, Feyre had worked at a local restaurant as a waitress. Feyre had always been the most outgoing of the three sisters and Elain imagined that working with people in such a busy environment was exactly what Feyre needed. She didn’t have many friends in her new town and Elain knew just how lonely that could be. 

After a moment’s hesitation, Feyre answered, “Well, I’m actually not working there anymore.”

Elain waited for her to give a reason, but none came. 

“Why not? I thought you loved it?”

Elain could almost imagine her sister shrugging at the other end of the line, just like she always did when she wanted a topic to be dropped. 

“It was really stressful, I guess. And Tamlin said I didn’t need to work since he takes care of everything.”

Once again, Elain felt that nagging feeling creep up again. “But you’re working for you, aren’t you? It’s always good to get out of the house and…”

“This way, I have more time to focus on my art,” Feyre interrupted, a hint of annoyance to her tone. 

Elain wanted to argue, but she also didn’t want Feyre to hang up on her so against her better judgment, she changed the subject. 

“So, how is Tamlin?” she asked, even if she didn’t really care about him. There was just something about him that rubbed her the wrong way. 

“Same old, same old,” Feyre said. “He’s thinking about opening another restaurant. We might have to move.”

Tamlin owned three restaurants, which is how Feyre had gotten her job as a waitress. Elain never really understood why he owned restaurants since he didn’t seem to like food and cooking, but according to Feyre it was just good business, whatever the hell that meant. 

“Move where?”

“It doesn’t matter. I’ll talk him into staying,” Feyre said and laughed. 

Elain knew a fake laugh when she heard one. 

“But…”

“I didn’t call to talk about myself, Elain.”

Elain thumbed a few pages in her book, contemplating whether or not to press Feyre on this. But before she had made up her mind, her sister asked, “How is that new year’s resolution going?”

It took a few seconds for Elain to understand the question. It was such an odd thing to bring up in the middle of a conversation. Especially in the middle of March. 

“Uh, I don’t know. Good, I guess?” Elain didn’t even convince herself. 

“Uh-huh, so it’s not going well, I take it?” 

“It was just a silly resolution. Aren’t you supposed to forget about them after the first week of the new year?” 

“Oh, no. You’re not getting off that easy. You promised. You even shook my hand, which obviously made it official.”

“Obviously,” Elain muttered. 

Elain had been broken up with Graysen for exactly six weeks on New Year's Eve. She had been sad and lonely and in desperate need to talk to her sisters. Unfortunately, she didn’t have much time to talk to them at Nesta’s party since the place was packed with people Elain didn’t know. Though Nesta enjoyed her solitude, she sure had many acquaintances. Elain had no idea how she did it. 

So on New Year’s, Elain had gotten a bit tipsy and when people had gathered around to tell each other about the resolutions, Elain had just made one up one the spot. When other people promised to go to the gym, eat more healthily and quit smoking, Elain promised to try more new things. It seemed innocent enough, and easy. In her mind, she thought that if she just tried a new snack every week she could tell people that she had kept her promise. She didn't actually want to try new things. She enjoyed her routine, because with a routine came no or few surprises. And if she knew exactly what she could expect from each day, she wouldn’t be disappointed. But she knew that her sisters wanted her to live life to the fullest (whatever that meant), so she came up with that silly resolution just to make them happy. She wasn’t intending on actually keeping it. But since her sister’s knew her too well, they made her promise that she would actually give it a chance. 

“You need to get out more,” Nesta had said. 

“Who knows, maybe you’ll meet someone way better than that fucking asshat if you take a pottery class or go skydiving or something?” Feyre had said. 

Both of her sister’s had stopped using Graysen’s name the moment he dumped Elain. It was like he was Voldemort or something. Elain didn’t know if she liked it or found it weird. 

But that night, Elain had promised her sister’s to try at least one new thing every single week. She had definitely not done that. And she was pretty certain that Feyre already knew. 

“Elain, which new things have you tried?” Feyre asked.

Elain chewed her lip, trying to remember something - anything - that she could tell her sister. 

“Well, last night I tried a new Ben and Jerry’s flavor. It was good, but not better than Half Baked.”

“Elain…”

“And,” Elain interjected, “I watched an action movie, and you know I hate action movies.”

“Did you like it?”

“No, it was awful. There was no romance.”

Feyre groaned. “Elain. That’s not trying new things. How many nights have you spent in your apartment since New year’s?”

Elain didn’t want to say ‘all of them’, so she stayed quiet. 

“I just worry about you, you know.” Feyre’s tone was soft and careful. 

It sounded like pity. 

Elain had to bite her tongue to keep herself from saying that Feyre should worry about herself instead. The last time Elain had told her sister that she worried about her too, it didn’t go very well. Feyre was fiercely independent. 

“Well, you don’t have to worry. I’m doing just fine.”

Elain had gotten good at lying. Even to herself. 

“I know. I just don’t want you to feel lonely.”

“I’m not,” she lied. 

“Are you sure?”

Elain let out a breath and tried to collect herself. Yes, she was lonely. But she didn’t want her sister’s to know. Nor did she want them to worry about her. This was her life now, and that was not about to change anytime soon. She had gotten over Graysen quicker than she thought she would, which was probably proof of the fact that she never actually loved him. Sure, she had liked being with him and spending time with him, but there had never never been passion or excitement. They had just…been. 

And Graysen had made it perfectly clear that she should be happy that he had stayed as long as he did. Most men wouldn’t, he told her. Not with her condition. That’s what he had said. Condition. And even though Elain wanted to be angry with him for that, she knew that he was right. Most people wouldn’t stay. 

In the end, he didn’t stay either. 

She was starting to come around to the thought of being alone for the rest of her life. Maybe if she just made some friends, it wouldn’t be so bad? 

“Are you going somewhere with all these questions, Feyre? If not, I would like to go back to my book.” She couldn’t even hide the irritation in her voice. 

“Well, actually,” Feyre began, a hint of hesitation to her tone, which made Elain sit up straighter. What on earth was her sister planning?

“I might have set you up on a blind date.”

“Feyre,” Elain gasped. “Please tell me this is a prank.”

“Okay, just hear me out…”

“No, I will not hear you out. I don’t want to go on a blind date. I don’t want to go on any dates. I am perfectly happy. Also, what if he’s like a serial killer? Or ugly? Or what if he just talks about cars the entire date? I would literally die because I would be too polite to leave but I hate cars, Feyre. I don’t care about them at all. And what if he likes football? I really hate sports.” She was rambling. She knew she was, but she couldn’t stop herself. 

“Elain, do you really think I would set you up with a serial killer who’s into cars and football?”

“Serial killers can look like anyone. For all you know, your neighbor might be a serial killer.”

“I doubt that Mrs. Williams is a serial killer. She’s 82.”

“You never know,” Elain said stubbornly. 

“He’s really nice, I promise. And handsome. And funny. And he has a good job.”

Elain rolled her eyes even though no one could see her. “Well, why is he single if he’s so great?”

“You’re great and you’re single,” Feyre retorted. 

Touché.

“Yeah, well… You know why I’m single and that won’t change anytime soon. In fact, it will never change, so just drop it.”

“Elain,” Feyre raised her voice. “You are funny, smart and successful. Any guy would be lucky to have you. You can’t let that define you.”

“Well that is a part of me.”

“You know what I mean. I just… can’t you give him a chance? He’s moving to Velaris this weekend and he doesn’t know anyone there. If there’s no spark, maybe you could be friends? Although, I have to admit that I showed him a photo of you and he was, to say the least, very interested.”

“You showed a stranger a photo of me? That’s weird, even for you. What, do you walk around with my photo in your wallet like an old lady trying to marry off her eldest daughter?”

Feyre laughed at that. “There is this thing called an iphone, you know.”

Elain got up from her bed, unable to sit still. She felt as if her entire body was itching. She wanted to tell Feyre to just stop. To call the man and tell him that the date was off. But Elain couldn’t do that. Even though every fiber of her being told her to stand up for herself, she just couldn’t. She was a people pleaser. She never wanted to make a fuss. And she definitely didn’t want to let people down. So instead, she just said, “You know, it’s not a blind date if he has seen me already.”

“Well, then I have set you up on a regular date. Please, say you’ll go. You can just grab a drink and if you don’t like him, you can just leave. He’s a great guy so he won’t be angry if you’re not into him.”

Elain huffed. A great guy? Not being angry because a girl wasn’t into him was the bare minimum.

Elain stayed silent for a moment, trying to imagine herself on a date with someone. She had never really dated. She met Graysen at a party and he was her first and only boyfriend. Going on this date would definitely be something new. 

And would it really be so bad to try something new? Sure, she might hate it. But there is a chance that she might actually enjoy herself, and where’s the harm in that? Also, there would be an added bonus of getting her sister’s off her back. If she went on this date, she could say that she tried and didn’t like it and then they would have to stop nagging her about her love life. 

And with that in mind, Elain gave in. “So, are you sure he’s not some sort of psycho stalker?”

She could almost hear the smile in Feyre’s voice when she said, “I promise! I’ve known him for a while. His name is Lucien and he’s a friend of Tamlin’s, though they’re quite different.”

Thank god for that, Elain thought to herself.

“So, are you free on April third?” Feyre asked, and to Elain’s dismay, she didn’t have any plans that day. 

And just like that, Elain was going on a date. 

That night, Elain dreamt that she was kidnapped by aliens and they didn’t return her to earth until April 4th. 

She wondered if it was a sign. 

And if it was, what did it mean?

–-------------

Since Shadowsinger Tattoos opened, Elain had looked out of her window approximately ten times more than usual during the day. She told herself that she was just checking the weather or looking at the people walking by, but she knew that it was a lie. 

She was looking for Azriel. 

Since that day when they had talked on the bench, she had been waiting for an opportunity to talk to him again. She didn’t really have anything of importance that she wanted to talk about, but she enjoyed his company. She was in need of new friends, and maybe he could be just that? A friend? He had laughed at her jokes, and that had to mean something. Right?

For a few minutes, she had felt less lonely. When they talked about sparkling vampires, she had forgotten about her own sad little life for a while. So she continued to look for him, even though she had no idea how to start a conversation with him. But every time she saw him outside the window, she was busy with customers. And every time she stepped out with a cup of tea, he was nowhere to be found. 

But then, on a Tuesday, that changed. 

Elain had just looked at her calendar and realized that it was less than two weeks until she was going on that stupid blind date with Lucien. 

Lucien. What a stupid name. 

A part of her wanted to call Feyre and tell her to call it all off, but a bigger part didn’t want to disappoint her sister. Instead, she made a cup of extra strong tea and went outside to enjoy it in the spring sunshine. 

And there he was. Azriel. 

Just sitting on that bench, smoking. As usual, he was dressed in all black. Elain wondered if it was a uniform for when he was working, though she doubted it. He seemed like the kind of man who thought that a gray sweater was too colorful. Not that it mattered. He looked good in black, Elain thought to herself as she walked up to him. He seemed lost in thoughts, just like last time. 

“Hi,” she said, careful to not startle him. 

He turned his head slightly to look at her. And god, his intense eyes made her want to melt into a little puddle right then and there. He was so handsome. Too handsome. 

Honestly, it should be illegal to look that good. It was very distracting. 

“Hello,” he greeted her. “What does the teacup say today?” Azriel nodded in the direction of the cup she was holding. 

Elain smiled and sat down. The tea in her cup was almost the color of coffee, making it impossible for her to see the bottom. “I don’t know yet. I just grabbed one.”

Elain cursed herself for not coming up with something more witty to say. She had always been keenly aware that she wasn’t very good at making conversation. Once, when she was a child, her mother had told her that she needed to ask more questions and learn how to keep a conversation going if she wanted to make friends and find a husband. Elain had been nine at the time; far from interested in meeting a husband. She had wanted to make friends though, so she really tried to be a better conversationalist. Though, her lack of friends was probably proof of her failure. 

Sometimes, she was happy that her mother was dead just so she couldn’t tell Elain how disappointed she was in her.  Her mother had always cared more about image and how their family looked from the outside. She wanted her children to fit into a mold and Elain had tried her hardest to be the perfect daughter. When Elain was twelve, her mother passed away which led to Elain trying to be even more perfect. If she was perfect and didn’t cause any problems, everyone would be happy right? 

“Penny for your thoughts?” 

Azriel’s voice brought Elain back to reality. Back to the wooden bench and Velaris and Azriel. 

She shook her head as if trying to get the memory of her mother out of there. “It’s nothing. I just…” she hesitated, wondering if she should tell Azriel about the date. She didn’t know why, but she really didn’t want him to know that she was going on a date with a man she didn’t know, so instead she asked him, “Have you ever made a new year’s resolution that came back to bite you in the ass?”

Normally, she would never have asked such a thing. And she would never have used the word ‘ass’ in front of someone she barely knew. But somehow, she knew that Azriel wouldn’t care. Wouldn’t judge her. 

“Hasn’t everyone? I thought that was the thing with resolutions. You make them when you’re drunk and then you forget about them.” 

Elain nodded, more to herself than anything. “I thought so too.”

There was a beat of silence, then Azriel said, “Okay, now I need to know what kind of resolution you made for this year. Did you vow to join the circus or something?”

Elain couldn’t hold back the laugh that bubbled up. “No, not exactly. Though now that I think about it, it might have been preferable?”

“You would prefer to tame tigers and ride elephants? Well, now I really need to know what your resolution was.” he said, a smile teasing his lips. 

God, he was beautiful when he smiled. 

Elain wanted to slap herself. She shouldn’t think that about someone she barely knew. 

She took a sip of her tea. She had let it steep for too long, but she swallowed it down nonetheless. Anything to give her mind time to decide whether or not to tell him. And how much she should tell him. She decided to go with the safest option. 

“Well, if you must now, I might have promised my sisters to try new things.”

Azriel raised an eyebrow, “that doesn’t sound so bad. Just try a new restaurant every now and then and you’re set.”

“Yeah, that was the plan.”

“But the plan changed?”

“My sister’s made me promise to actually do it, and according to them, trying new foods is not trying new things. They think I should have some new experiences.”

That was safe enough to tell him, right? 

Azriel put the cigarette to his lips and inhaled. Elain tried to not look at him. She didn’t want to seem creepy. But when he blew out the smoke and leaned back against the brick wall, there was only one thought in her mind; God, that’s sexy. 

Elain wanted to mentally slap herself. She had never thought about someone in those terms before, and she didn’t want to start now. She had always hated it when men objectified her, and now she was just as bad as them? 

Also, smoking shouldn’t be sexy. It could kill you, for heaven’s sake. 

Azriel moved his head sideways so he could look at her. “So, what kind of new things are you going to try then?” he asked.

Elain shrugged and leaned back too. The wall was rough against her back. “I don’t know. I haven’t exactly lived a very adventurous life so most things would probably be new to me.”

Elain blushed at the confession. She hadn’t meant to say that. It made her sound old and boring. Like someone who just stayed home every night. And even though that was the truth, she didn’t want Azriel to know that. 

“Well, maybe you should consider joining the circus after all then? You would probably have a lot of new experiences,” Azriel said, but she could tell that he was just joking so she decided to go with it.  

“Yeah, maybe I should. But what would my act be? I’m scared of big animals, so that’s out of the question. My balance is shit so I can’t be a tightrope walker. And I don’t trust people enough to be a trapeze artist. And I don’t like heights.”

A playful smirk spread across Azriel’s face, and Elain definitely didn’t get butterflies when he looked at her like that. Nope. None at all. 

“Well, you’ll be a clown then. Fun makeup. Silly clothes. A flower in your pocket that can squirt water on people. It’ll be perfect.”

Elain let out a laugh that sounded more like a snort. She covered her mouth in horror.

“Already practicing your clown laugh, I see.” 

Elain could feel her face heat and she was certain that she was a lovely shade of pink by now. “No, I just…” she started, but she didn’t know what to say. She just wanted him to forget the fact that she sounded like a small pig sometimes when she laughed. It was one of her less attractive qualities, and one she hadn’t even let Graysen see. Maybe because he never made her laugh. “Well, I don’t know if I’m funny enough to be a clown. I might just make the kids cry.”

Azriel sat up a bit straighter. He had finished his cigarette and was playing with the half-full packet with his left hand. It looked like he wanted another one. 

“I think you’re funny.”

The words caught her off guard. She turned to stare at him, but he was looking straight ahead. She couldn’t see from his expression if he was serious or not. No one ever called her funny. It was like people just saw her and decided that a girl like her couldn’t be funny. One guy had even told her once that she didn’t have to have a personality because she was so pretty, no man would ever care if she was boring. (Though he didn’t use the word ‘pretty’. He was more crude than that.)

Elain swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. “I… thank you,” was all she could get out. 

Azriel shrugged. “No need to thank me. I should be thanking you. I haven’t laughed as much as I did when you told me about that tea set in god knows how long.”

And once again, Elain blushed. So he really thought that she was funny? He didn’t think she was a weirdo for talking to him about Twilight even though the movies came out ages ago and are basically just a meme on the internet at this point?

Elain didn’t know what to answer, but when the silence seemed to stretch between them, she didn’t feel the need to fill it. Somehow, she found it comfortable to just sit there with him, on their bench. 

Not that it was their bench. 

The bench had always been there. They were just sitting on it. 

“Okay, if we think more practically, then what new things would you like to try? Do you want to travel somewhere or try skydiving or something?”

Elain glared at him, “Didn’t I just tell you that I’m afraid of heights?”

Azriel smiled, but only one corner of his mouth went up. As if he wasn’t used to smiling. “I guess you did. So what then? What new things are Elain going to try?”

A shiver ran down her spine when her name fell from his lips. There was just something about hearing your own name in a normal conversation like that that made her all tingly. 

She looked at him and the way his arms flexed when he kept turning that red and white packet between his fingers. A few tattooes peeked out from underneath his t-shirt sleeve, but she couldn’t make out the pattern. She wondered where the tattoo began. And ended. 

And then she wanted to slap herself again. 

And since everything she could think about at the moment was his tattoo, she jokingly said, “I don’t know, maybe I’ll get a tattoo.” 

He raised an eyebrow and looked at her. She could almost feel his gaze on the naked skin of her arms. It made her want to cover up. 

But it also made her want him to look at her like that again.

“Oh really,” he said, a smirk playing on his lips. “They hurt, you know.”

She shrugged, trying to seem cooler than she was. “I’m not afraid of a little bit of pain,” she lied. “Although, it would be very difficult for me to choose a motive. I am forever grateful that my father forbade me from getting tattooed when I was eighteen, or else I would probably have ended up with something really embarrassing.”

“Like a Twilight tattoo?”

Elain had to bite her lip to keep herself from letting out another pig-like laugh. “Yeah, wouldn't that have been something? Imagine if I had the words ‘Bite me Edward’ on my neck or something.”

Azriel laughed and if Elain didn’t imagine it, his eyes went down to her neck for just a fraction of a section. “So you’re team Edward then?” 

“Obviously. Do you know who he is now?”

“I might have done some research since our last conversation,” he answered nonchalantly. 

Elain didn’t know why, but imagining Azriel sitting all alone watching Twilight was utterly adorable. Not that she knew if he had been alone. For all she knew, he might have a girlfriend. 

As soon as the thought entered her mind she wanted it gone. She didn’t understand why. A handsome man like him probably did have a girlfriend, and she shouldn’t care one bit. It wasn’t like she wanted to date him anyway. She just wanted a friend. Someone to talk to. 

“Did you read the books or watch the movies?” she asked, and a part of her hoped that he had read the books because that seemed like a more solitary activity. 

He smiled. “Honestly, I just read a bit about it on Wikipedia and watched the scene where he sparkled in the forest. I can’t say that I see the appeal. He looked like a disco ball.”

“He really does,” Elain laughed. “But my teenage brain was really into blood sucking disco balls, I suppose.”

“Good to know,” Azriel said, the smile never leaving his lips. 

Elain had no idea what that meant. Why was that good to know?

He took out another cigarette then and put it between his lips. He held up his lighter but then stopped, as if he just remembered something. 

“Do you mind?” he asked. 

Elain shook her head quickly. Even though she didn’t particularly like the smell, she definitely didn’t mind seeing him smoke. Not that she would ever tell him that. “No, it’s fine.”

There was a beat of silence again, and then Elain had an idea. “You know, I’ve never tried a cigarette.”

“Never?” he asked, eyebrows raised. 

“Nope.”

“I thought everyone tried smoking in High School to seem cool.”

“Well, I guess the films they showed us about lung cancer worked on some of us,” Elain said and winked at him playfully. She probably looked like she had gotten something in her eye.

Azriel laughed and nodded, his dark hair falling in his eyes. She wanted to run her fingers through it. 

“So, could I try one of yours?” Elain asked before she lost her confidence. 

Azriel’s eyebrows drew together. “I really don’t want to be a bad influence on you.”

She laughed, “you’re not. I just… I just feel like trying it out. Seeing what all the fuss is about.”

Azriel looked hesitant, but then his features softened. He offered her the cigarette he was already holding. “Fine. But just a warning, most people hate it the first time they try it.”

She reached for it and put it between her lips. The smoke tickled her nose as she inhaled. 

A second later, she was coughing, handing the cigarette back to Azriel with a disgusted look on her face.

“It’s awful.”

Azriel laughed and nodded, “I know. It really is disgusting.”

“It’s vile,” Elain challenged, a small smirk playing on her lips. 

Azriel threw the cig on the ground and crushed it with his boot, all the while holding her gaze “Horrendous.”

“Abhorrent.”

“Revolting”

“Sickening.”

“Repulsive.”

Elain laughed, “Are you trying to impress me with synonyms?”

“Oh, I could do this all day.”

“Let me guess, you read a lot?”

“I used to. I was a bit of a nerd at school.”

Elain looked him up and down. There was absolutely nothing about this man that she would call nerdy. She had assumed that he was one of the hot mysterious guys who made out with girls and broke their hearts. The guys who didn’t have time for books or girls like Elain. 

“So, you’re telling me you’re not a nerd anymore?” she teased. 

Azriel shifted his body and leaned closer. “Oh, I am still a huge nerd. I’m just better at hiding it.”

“Good to know,” Elain said. “I promise that your secret is safe with me.”

“I didn’t doubt that for a second.”

Before she could stop herself, she asked, “So, is that why you smoke? Because you don’t want people to know you're a nerd?”

Azriel’s laugh warmed her insides. “No, not exactly. I’m just stupid and even though my new year’s resolution every single year is to quit, I still haven’t managed to do so. I heard that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while still expecting a different outcome. So who knows, maybe I’m just insane?”

“Maybe this is the year?”

“Maybe. I mean, now that I know how seriously you’re taking your resolution, maybe I should try to make an effort too?” he smiled, and Elain knew that he wasn’t being serious. But she enjoyed their conversation so much that she wasn’t even thinking about what she was saying, and she was usually a chronic over thinker. That might explain what came out of her mouth next. 

“You should. No one wants to kiss someone who tastes like an ashtray.”

As soon as the words left her mouth, she wished that she had a time machine just so she could go back in time to take it back. It was such a stupid thing to say, and she definitely didn’t want him to think that she was thinking about what he would taste like. 

She was absolutely not thinking about that. 

Not at all. 

Thankfully, Azriel smiled and met her gaze and Elain thought that maybe she had just imagined saying that. But then he answered, “Oh, I don’t know. I haven’t had any complaints yet,” and Elain wanted to sink through the ground and disappear. Not because of what she had said, but because she had insinuated that people wouldn’t want to kiss him.

Of course, people wanted to kiss him. 

He probably had a line of girls waiting to kiss him. And do other things with him. And fuck, she was blushing again. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… I just–- It was a joke and,”

Azriel held up a hand to stop her from embarrassing herself further. “It’s okay, Elain. I’m just pulling your leg.”

Elain tried to laugh but it didn’t sound particularly convincing. 

“Tell you what,” Azriel said, and Elain was glad that he was still talking because there were no words in her brain at the moment. Just horror. “If you get a tattoo, I’ll quit smoking.”

Elain narrowed her eyes at him, “You know that I’ll probably never get a tattoo right?”

He shrugged, “Great. Then I don’t have to become a better man.”

She opened her mouth to speak just as Azriel’s phone notified him of a new text message. He pulled out the phone from his pocket and looked at it quickly. 

“I have to go,” he said and started to stand up. Elain stayed seated. She didn’t want him to think that she was only sitting there because she wanted to talk to him. She was obviously out there to drink her tea. 

The tea that was now cold. 

Before he walked away, he looked down at her once more. She felt so small as she sat there looking up at him. The height difference wasn’t as prominent when they were both sitting down. 

“Well, now you’ve tried something new,” he said and shook his packet of Marlboros. “You could always tell your sisters about that.”

Elain scrunched up her nose. “Well, I don’t think they would approve so maybe I’ll keep that one to myself.”

Azriel put the packet in his back pocket and winked at her, a playful smile on his lips. “It’ll be our little secret then.” 

When Elain returned to her shop, she had forgotten all about the date with Lucien.

___________________________

(I'm sorry that this chapter is a bit all over the place. I've been in a bit of a writing slump and just needed to get something out. I'm not completely happy with this chapter, but at least it's something. And it's important for the plot! Hopefully, it's not too boring.)

As always, thank you for reading! <3

#elriel #elriel fanfic #elriel fanfiction #elain x azriel #azriel x elain #dottielovegoodfanfiction

[dottielovegood]

NEW FIC ALERT

Just posted the first chapter of a new fic over at AO3. You can find it here

Title: Bloom

Summary: Elain owns a flower shop Azriel owns a tattoo parlor

A classic flower shop / tattoo parlor AU. -------------------

One night, Azriel meets the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Unfortunately, this is also the last time he sees her. Or so he thought.

#elriel fanfiction #elriel fanfic #elriel #elain archeron #dottielovegoodfanfiction #elain x azriel #azriel x elain

[dottielovegood]

Bloom (Elriel fanfic)

Chapter 2

Read chapter 1 here Find this fic on AO3 here

Summary: Elain owns a flower shop Azriel owns a tattoo parlor A classic flower shop / tattoo parlor AU.

One night, Azriel meets the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Unfortunately, this is also the last time he sees her. Or so he thought.

Chapter 2

“Nice to meet you to Elain,” Azriel said as he watched the door close behind her. 

Elain. That was her name. 

Elain . 

He thought that he would never see her again. He wondered if she had recognized him, because he definitely recognized her. She was even more beautiful in the daylight. Her golden hair, her bright eyes. Gone was the sadness that had clouded her features that night. Even though it had been months since that night, he sometimes thought about her. He sometimes wondered what that man had said that made her so sad. He had his suspicions, but he couldn’t be sure. 

And now she was here. Next door. 

What were the odds?

“Earth to Azriel!” Cerridwen snapped her fingers in front of his face and brought him back to reality. There was no mistaking the grin on her face. 

“What?” 

“Do you know her? It almost looked as if you had met before.”

Azriel decided that she didn’t need to know the truth. “No, I’ve never seen her before.”

The grin on Cerridwen’s face turned into a giant smile, “Oh, so it was love at first sight then?”

Azriel opened his mouth to answer but before any words could come out, one of the doors behind him opened. 

“Who’s in love?” Nuala asked and walked up to the register. A tall man that Azriel knew well followed behind her. 

“Did you really need more piercings, Danaan?” he asked, trying to shift the conversation away from himself. 

“Always. And I wanted to be one of your first customers. I am a very supportive friend,” Ruhn Danaan said and gave Nuala a playful wink. 

“A very supportive friend that tips well,” she said and pointed at the tip jar. 

Ruhn just laughed and reached for his wallet. “I also need to make a new appointment. Have any time for me, Cer?”

“Time to start that second sleeve, huh?” Cerridwen asked and opened her calendar. 

Azriel had known Cerridwen and Nuala for years. He had met them through his friend, Mor, who went to college with Nuala. They were identical twins, but two people with more different aesthetics were hard to find. Cerridwen mainly dressed in pastel colors and florals while Nuala only wore black. 

Nuala had been piercing people since High School, apparently. Azriel cringed when he thought about the lack of sterile equipment, but he guessed that High Schoolers didn’t care as long as they got a cool new nose piercing. 

All three of them had started out as apprentices at Devlon’s tattoos five years ago. Devlon was a mean bastard, but he was one of the best in the business. Azriel had learned a lot, but he always knew that he wanted to own his own shop one day. And when he told the twins about his plans, they made him promise to hire them as soon as he did. 

Azriel always kept his promises. 

“So, who’s in love?” Nuala asked again as soon as Ruhn had paid, made his appointment and left. 

“No one,” Azriel answered a bit too quickly.  

She raised her eyebrows, “oh really?” Nuala looked at her sister. “So, who is he in love with?”

“I’m not in–” 

“The florist next door,” Cerridwen interrupted. “She came in here to give us these flowers,” she pointed at the bouquet next to the register, “and I swear that I could see our little Azriel fall in love the moment he saw her.”

“Aw, so cute,” Nuala exclaimed in a mocking tone. “When’s the wedding?”

Azriel glared at the twins. “I really regret hiring you. And I didn’t fall in love, I was just surprised to see her here. She didn’t look like the type that gets tattoos. Or piercings.”

“Sure, you tell yourself that. But I know what I saw.” Cerridwen turned to her sister. “I asked if the flowers were beautiful and I swear, he didn’t even look at the flowers. He just stared at her and said ‘ beautiful ’”. She said the last word in a dreamy voice that made Nuala laugh. 

“I did not,” Azriel muttered under his breath. 

But he had in fact done just that. If someone had asked him about the colors of the flowers, he wouldn’t have been able to answer. He would have been able to describe her eye color in intricate detail though, but the twins didn’t need to know that. 

“There are only two options for that weird energy between the two of you. Either, you have already met and were surprised to see each other here, or you both suddenly fell in love. Those are the only options,” Cerridwen stated, and then her mouth fell open. “Oh, no. You have met her before, haven’t you? Please don’t tell me you fucked our neighbor, Azriel. She seemed so sweet. If you broke her heart I swear I will kick you in the–”

Azriel held up his hand, “You really don’t need to kick me anywhere. I just thought I recognized her from somewhere but I was mistaken,” he lied. “Can we please go back to work now?”

He didn’t wait for them to answer before he turned around and walked into his studio. Before he closed the door, he could hear Nuala ask Cerridwen if Elain really was that beautiful. 

He had never been happier that Nuala had a girlfriend.  

Not that he should care if people flirted with Elain. 

He definitely didn’t care. 

It would be two months before Azriel actually talked to Elain. Sure, they sometimes exchange pleasantries when they saw each other outside their businesses, but it was usually never more than just a single ‘hello’ and ‘have a nice day’. But then, two months later, that changed. 

It was the end of March and spring had begun to bloom in Velaris. Azriel had just finished tattooing his first client of the day. It had been a big back piece and just the outline had taken him four hours to make. Even though he had been tattooing for years, he still hadn’t gotten used to the way his hand sometimes cramped up after long sessions. He wondered if his hands were more prone to cramps because of his scars, but he would never ask a doctor about that. He didn’t like people looking at his hands, and enough doctors had examined his hands when he was a child that he never wanted to see a doctor again. 

He was sitting on the bench outside his tattoo parlor smoking a cigarette. The wooden bench had been placed right between his and Elain’s doors and Azriel had wondered on more than one occasion if Elain had placed it there, though he had never seen her out there. 

Azriel was staring at the smoke rising from the cigarette, clenching and unclenching his right hand to try to relieve the ache when he heard her voice. 

“Oh, hi,” she said. “I didn’t know you were out here.”

Azriel turned to look at her. She was as breathtaking as ever. She was wearing jeans, a t-shirt with her shop’s logo and a light blue cardigan. Her dark green apron was still tied around her waist and she was carrying a small cup with a floral pattern. 

Azriel realized that he hadn’t said anything when Elain started talking again, “I…I just thought I might have my cup of tea out here since the weather is so lovely, but I can leave you alone if you like.” 

She took a step back and Azriel shook his head quickly, desperate to not make her think that she was disturbing her. “No, it’s okay. I don’t need to be alone.”

Elain gave him a gentle smile and sat down next to him. He threw the cigarette on the ground and crushed it with his boot. He could feel Elain’s gaze on him. 

“You know that those are bad for you, right?”

Azriel couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah, the film about lung cancer they showed us in school said that. I guess I was to stupid to learn anything that day.”

“I don’t think you’re stupid.”

“You don’t even know me. Maybe I’m the most stupid man that has ever walked the planet.”

Elain let out a small laugh and the melodious sound made Azriel smile. He wanted to hear her laugh again. 

“Somehow, I doubt that,” she said and took a sip of her tea. 

There was a stretch of silence between them and Azriel was trying, and failing, to come up with something witty to say. 

“How’s it going?” Elain asked, and when Azriel looked at her questioningly, she clarified, “your tattoo parlor, I mean. Is it doing well? I know that it can be hard in the beginning when you start a new business.”

Azriel leaned back. The brick wall was cool against his back. “Yeah, it’s going great. I have a lot of regulars that I have been tattooing for years but I also have a lot of new customers that found me through instagram. I hate social media, but apparently it’s good for business. At least according to Cerridwen.”

“You don’t like social media? Are you too cool for it?” there was a teasing note to her tone. 

Azriel shook his head. “Definitely not too cool. I’ve just always been pretty private I guess. And I am also the worst at responding to messages. Sometimes I miss the days when people sent letters and telegrams. Back then, it was okay if it took you weeks to answer.”

“So, you miss the early twentieth century?” she teased. “I didn’t know you were that old. I need to know which anti-wrinkle cream you are using. It’s clearly magic.”

“Oh, it’s not a cream,” Azriel said, his voice low and teasing. “I’m just a vampire. Eternal youth and all that.”

“Well, since the sun is shining and you are neither sparkling nor dead, I call your bluff.”

Elain was smiling at him and Azriel couldn’t help but notice the small dimple on her right cheek, and the way her eyes got smaller when she smiled and how perfect her teeth were. 

He also noticed that he was creepily staring at a girl he didn’t know. 

What the fuck was wrong with him? He needed to get it together. He knew that he probably didn’t stand a chance with a girl like her, but he still wanted to at least seem a bit cool and mysterious. Right now he acted like a creepy serial killer or something.

“Well, shit. You got me there,” he said. “But also, which vampires sparkle?” He had seen a few vampire movies, like Dracula and Interview with a Vampire . He even watched a few seasons of True Blood , but there had been zero sparkling vampires. He would have remembered something as absurd as that. 

Elain stared at him, her mouth slightly agape. “Please tell me you have seen the cinematic masterpiece that is Twilight ?”

Azriel shook his head in confusion at first, and then, “Oh, you mean the movies that all the girls loved in High School? Can’t say I’ve seen them, no.”

“You are sorely missing out, Azriel. You should have a movie night with your friends. You can skip the last movie though. The baby in that one is creepy.”

Azriel barely heard the last part of the sentence because she said his name . It was the first time she had ever said his name. He wanted to hear it again. And again. 

Elain took another sip of her tea. “Well, jokes aside, I’m glad it’s going well. And I’m glad to have neighbors again. It was so sad when the shop was empty.”

“Did you know the people who owned the place before me?”

She nodded. “Yes, it was the kindest old man. It used to be a tea shop, you know.”

“Ah, so that’s why it smelled like earl gray when we moved in,” Azriel joked. 

Elain laughed again and Azriel wanted to bottle the sound for a rainy day. As soon as the thought entered his mind, he wanted to slap himself. Who the fuck wanted to bottle someone’s laugh? 

“So, for how long have you had your shop?” he asked. He wanted to keep her talking. He wanted her to stay out here with him, just for a little while longer. 

“A little over two years now.”

“And do you enjoy it?”

“I love it,” she said, a big smile on her lips. “It was my dream as a little girl to have my own flower shop.”

“Sometimes dreams come true,” Azriel said, and he wondered when on earth he had become a person who said shit like that. What was this girl doing to him? Making him into a poet? A laugh-bottling, sappy poet. 

He was pathetic. 

“I guess they do.”

Elain put her empty cup on the bench between them. Azriel glanced down and saw that there was something written on the bottom of the cup. He turned his head slightly to see what it said. 

You have been poisoned

Azriel looked at Elain and then back at the cup, and burst out laughing. 

“What?” Elain asked, looking around her to see what he had found so funny. Azriel pointed to her cup. “That’s the best tea cup I’ve ever seen.”

Elain blushed. “Oh, I forgot. It’s my sister…I, well, she gave me this tea set for my birthday. All the cups say things like that. She thought it was hilarious.”

“It is.” Azriel was still laughing. “What do the other cups say?” He needed to know. 

“Oh, uhm… One says ‘ that was not tea ’, and the other two say, ‘ I hope you choke ’ and ‘ kindly fuck off’ .” Elain was blushing an even deeper shade of red now. It was adorable. She didn’t seem like the type who said ‘fuck’ very often. “Feyre has a very unique sense of humor,” she mumbled. 

“Well, I have no idea who Feyre is but tell her to send me a link. I don’t drink tea, but that’s priceless.”

Elain finally looked up again and met his gaze. He stopped laughing, wondering if he had made her too uncomfortable. But then, she smiled. “There is no link. She made it herself. Or well, she bought the tea set at a flea market, but she wrote the lovely messages all by herself. Do you want to know what it says on the teapot?”

Azriel leaned forward slightly, acting as if she was going to tell her the secrets of the universe. “I have never wanted to know anything more.”

That was a lie. He wanted to know so many things about Elain, but this would have to do for now. 

With a mischievous little grin on her lips, Elain leaned closer and whispered, “ male tears .”

Azriel couldn’t keep down the laugh that bubbled up. Soon, they were both laughing. 

Azriel couldn’t remember the last time he had laughed with someone this much. He usually found it difficult to talk to people, especially people he didn’t know very well. He had always been more of an introvert and an observer. Sure, he talked to people. It was required when you worked with people like he did, but in those cases he always knew what to talk about; art and tattoos. And he obviously talked to girls, but it was easy when you had an end goal. Flirting was always easier than carrying out a full conversation. And now, here was this girl who had him talking about sparkling vampires and foul-mouthed tea sets. It was nice, he thought to himself, to be able to just talk about silly things and enjoy a good laugh. 

“Well,” Elain began and reached for her empty cup, “I’d better get back in there. My lunch break is over.” She started to stand up, “thank you for talking to me. I had a pretty shitty day but now my mood is definitely better.”

“Yeah, talking about sparkling vampires apparently does that to women,” Azriel teased, which earned him another small laugh. He wanted to ask her why her day was shitty, but he knew that it was none of his business, so he just settled on, “It was great talking to you too, Elain. I guess I’ll see you around.”

With a big smile on her face, Elain replied, “I guess you will.”

As Elain stepped into her shop, Azriel reached for his Marlboro’s and lit another cigarette. He knew he should quit, but today was definitely not the day for that. As he smoked, he had the urge to turn around so he could look at Elain through the big store front window. She always looked so happy when she worked. Azriel had walked past her store every single day and he had never seen her without a smile. Sometimes he wondered if she was sunshine incarnate, or if it was all a front. Because could anyone really be that happy? Azriel loved his job and the fact that he could create art on people’s skin every single day, but he definitely didn’t smile all the time. To be fair, he rarely smiled. He had probably smiled more in the last 20 minutes than he had in months. He shook his head and dragged some smoke into his lungs. He had to stop thinking about her like this. He shouldn’t want to make her smile or think of her as the personification of sunshine. He knew that he found her attractive, but he had found many women attractive in his life and never before had he wanted to spend more time with them. His friends told him that he was a heartbreaker, but he disagreed. He was always upfront with his intentions; he wanted a night of sweaty fucking and that was that. He usually tried to make it so that he went home with the women to their place because then he could leave when they were finished. Spending the night always complicated things. 

Azriel dared a glance over his shoulder. Elain was talking to a customer, showing her a selection of flowers Azriel didn't know the names of. And as always, she was smiling. The corner of Azriel’s mouth quirked up for a second before he could fix his expression to be as cold and passive as usual. “What’s wrong with you?” Azriel muttered to himself under his breath. Even if he was attracted to Elain, his attraction couldn’t lead anywhere. She was sweet and friendly and way too good for him. He didn’t do relationships and something told him that Elain didn’t do one-night stands. They were not at all compatible, which was probably for the best. He could just imagine the scolding he would get from the twins if he slept with their neighbor. 

For weeks he had just thought of her as a neighbor, but he knew that it would be impossible for him to stay away and go back to the occasional ‘good morning’ now. Ever since that night at Rita’s he had felt a connection. A connection he had tried to ignore since the day he opened his shop and saw her again. There was something that drew him to her. He didn’t know what it was but he knew that there was something there. Even though she was all smiles and sunshine now, he had seen the way her inner darkness had consumed her that night. He recognized the pain in her eyes. He knew that there was something behind the wall she had so carefully built around herself, and he was surprised to find that he wanted to learn what he could find if she would let him in. 

It wasn’t love and it wasn’t a crush, Azriel told himself. It was just curiosity. He wanted to know more about her. He wanted to sit on this bench and talk about anything and everything. They could never be anything more than friends because he was surely not good enough for her, but maybe they could be friends? Admittedly, Azriel didn’t have many friends either. It was hard for Azriel to let people in, but when he did, they tended to stay. The few friendships he had were precious to him. He didn’t tell his friends that, but he figured that they knew. 

So maybe Elain could be a friend too? 

Azriel went back inside to prepare for his next appointment and found Nuala casually lounging on the couch, phone in hand. He tried to make himself invisible because he didn’t feel like talking, but Nuala’s eyes were on him as soon as the door shut behind him. 

“Was that the cute florist I saw you talking to outside?” she asked and sat up a bit straighter. 

“Her name is Elain.”

“Huh…” she hummed, “she really is as cute as Cer said.”

Azriel narrowed his eyes. “I thought you had a girlfriend,” he said, his voice rougher than intended. 

Nuala shrugged, “she would probably find her pretty too.”

Azriel just stared at her. What kind of game was she playing?

“God, I’m kidding. You know that I’m a one woman kind of girl…” Nuala said and put her phone down on the table. And yes, Azriel knew that. Azriel had never seen two people more in love. So why did it bother him that Nuala talked about how pretty Elain was? He knew that Elain was attractive and it was absolutely none of his business if other people wanted to comment on it or flirt with her. He shouldn’t care.  

Nuala leaned forward, her elbows on her knees. “What were you talking about?” 

“None of your business.”

She rolled her eyes and gave him a little pout, “Come on, Azriel. Give me something. My eleven o’clock canceled and I’m dying from boredom.”

“And that’s my problem, how?”

“It’s not. I’m just nosy.” The pout turned into an innocent smile that wasn’t innocent at all. 

Azriel rolled his eyes. “We talked about movies and tea sets, if you have to know.”

Nualas raised her eyebrows, “Tea sets? Since when do you drink tea?”

“I don’t.”

She shook her head in confusion. “I saw you smile, Azriel. You smiled and now you are trying to make me believe that you talked about tea?”

“I didn’t say we talked about tea. We talked about tea cups and tea pots,” he said matter of factly, making sure to keep his expression passive and emotionless. “By the way, did you know that the man who owned this space before us had a tea shop?” he asked, trying to change the subject, but to no avail.

“Don’t change the subject. Why were you smiling? I almost ran out because I thought someone or something had possessed you.”

It was Azriel’s turn to shrug and pretend as if he didn’t know what the big deal was. “She's funny, that’s all.”

“She’s funny? She must be a world class comedian if she made you laugh three times in less than fifteen minutes.”

“You kept count? That’s a bit creepy, even for you,” Azriel retorted. 

“Fine, don’t tell me about her,” Nuala picked up her phone and leaned back again. “I guess I’ll just have to pay her a visit and ask her to tell me some jokes.”

Azriel knew that she was trying to coax a reaction from him, but he showed nothing. Not a single emotion as he said, “you do that. I have to set up my station.” 

He walked to one of the rooms in the back and closed the door before she could say something else. He started to clean every single part of the small room. It was already spotless since he had done this exact thing less than an hour ago but he was feeling restless and he needed something to do with his hands. Azriel had found that there were only two things that could get his mind to stop working overtime; sex and cleaning. And since he couldn’t have sex right now for obvious reasons, he cleaned. 

He cleaned and did not think about sunshine, sparkly vampires and tea cups. 

Not at all. 

#dottielovegoodfanfiction #elriel #elriel fanfiction #elriel fanfic #elain x azriel #azriel x elain

[dottielovegood]

Bloom, chapter 4 (Elriel fanfic)

Chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3 Find this fic on AO3 here

Summary: Elain owns a flower shop Azriel owns a tattoo parlor A classic flower shop / tattoo parlor AU.

One night, Azriel meets the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Unfortunately, this is also the last time he sees her. Or so he thought.

Sometimes, when Elain felt stressed about something, she baked. Baking relaxed her. Made her get out of her own head for a while. Once, Nesta had teased her about it and said that people who baked a lot usually suffered from sexual frustration. Elain had just glared at her back then. And now, as she looked at her counter that was full of different kinds of baked goods, Elain was happy that Nesta wasn’t here since this display must make her into the horniest person in the world if Nesta’s theory was correct. 

Elain wasn’t sexually frustrated though. She was nervous and stressed and anxious and it was six in the fucking morning. She hadn’t slept at all. She had tried for a solid two hours before giving up. Last night, she had received a text from a number she didn’t recognize and as soon as she read the text, her mind went into overdrive. 

Elain had tried to not think about her impending date. Had tried to push it out of her mind. Since she hadn’t heard from the guy, she thought that he might have forgotten about her. Or, even better, that he had lost interest. She hadn’t asked Feyre for his number. Hell, she hadn’t even asked her to send a picture because she knew that her mind would be playing tricks on her if she actually knew what this man looked like. 

But then, the text appeared. On the first of April, like a freaking joke. But it wasn’t a joke. He even made sure that she knew that.

Hi Elain! This is Lucien. I hope Feyre told you about me. If you’re still interested, I would like to take you out for a drink. I just moved to Velaris so I’m not familiar with this town yet, but my coworker told me about this great bar called ‘The Sidra’. He promised that they served the best drinks in town. So what do you say? We could meet there at 8 this Friday, if you’re available?

Elain had barely finished reading the text when the second message popped up.

Also, I just realized that it is the first of April. I promise that this isn’t a joke /Lucien

Elain had to admit that the second message made her smile. Just a little. But then she re-read the first message, all signs of a smile vanishing from her face. 

A date. 

Was she really ready for a date?

Did she really have to prove something to her sisters?

Of course not. But the more Elain thought about it, she knew that she had something to prove to herself. She had to show herself that she could live a little. She had to get back out there. Take the bull by the horns, so to speak. She wasn’t particularly thrilled about the date, but then again, she wasn’t particularly thrilled about most things that weren’t planned out  weeks beforehand. Anything that made her go out of her comfort zone stressed her out. And something of this magnitude definitely had her stressing. 

So she baked. 

After the first batch of cookies, she picked up her phone again. She read the message once more, trying to imagine herself at a bar with a man she didn’t know, making small talk about the weather and their jobs. It didn’t sound like the end of the world. Though, it didn’t sound very appealing either. She would rather just sit on that bench in front of her shop with Azriel, drinking tea and talking about joining the circus. 

As soon as the thought of Azriel entered her mind, Elain shook her head as if she could shake the image of her handsome neighbor out of there. Because truth be told, Azriel was handsome. Very handsome. From the first time they had met in that dark bar, she had thought so. But Azriel was clearly not interested in her, and she definitely didn’t want to pursue something with someone who could be a friend. 

Elain took a deep breath and answered Lucien, telling him that she would meet him at The Sidra this Friday. 

His reply came before she even had the chance to put the phone down. 

Great. I look forward to it! 

Her first instinct was to throw the phone away or hide it in the flour, but that would be childish and she had already made him wait for over an hour for her first reply. So she did the mature thing. She lied. 

Me too! :) 

Was the smiley too much? Did people still use smileys and emojis or were they out? She had no idea. And honestly, she couldn’t care about that right now because she was going on a date in less than three days with a man named Lucien that she had never met and he might like football and cars and he might be ugly or boring or a serial killer.

Or even worse, he might be handsome and interesting. There was a slight possibility that she would enjoy herself, and that was the thought that really scared her.

Elain groaned and put her phone on the table, making her way over to the ingredients that were still out on the kitchen counter. Cookies weren’t enough. She had to bake something else. 

And all of a sudden, it was early morning and Elain had managed to bake three kinds of cookies, two cakes and some weird looking breakfast buns. 

She was too nervous to try a single bite. 

–-------------

Later that day 

Elain was on her third cup of coffee. Tea just wasn’t strong enough to survive a day after a night of stress baking and no sleep. She had put some of the cookies she baked on the counter for her customers.The day felt slower than usual and time seemed to drag by. She was glad that she didn’t have many customers today because honestly, she wasn’t in the mood to be happy around people when she was sleep deprived and jacked up on caffeine. 

Outside her window, Velaris was gray. Last week’s sunshine was gone, replaced with rain and wind. Fitting, she thought as her mind drifted back to the date. It didn’t feel like a sunshine kind of day. 

However, the rain also meant that her chance of running into Azriel outside her shop was slim to none. She couldn’t imagine him sitting down on that bench in the rain to have a cigarette. And for some odd reason, she felt disappointed by the thought. She liked talking to him. He made her feel less lonely. 

She glanced at the cookies on the counter and an idea entered her mind. If you asked her, she would blame the coffee or the lack of sleep for what she was about to do. But the cookies reminded her of all the other things she had baked. It was simply impossible for her to finish all of that by herself. And wouldn’t it be a pity to let it all go to waste?

Since the shop was so quiet, Elain decided to hang the “I’ll be back soon” sign on the door and run up to her apartment to grab one container of chocolate chip cookies and a few slices of the lemon drizzle cake. Before she could change her mind, she hurried out of her apartment. The rain had turned into a light drizzle by now and Elain walked past her own shop and didn’t stop until she reached the entrance of Shadowsinger tattoos . She bit her bottom lip, suddenly nervous. Was this a weird thing to do? Did he even eat sugary treats?

And what if he was diabetic or allergic to gluten?

She hesitated outside the door, contemplating if she should just go back to her shop and eat it all by herself when movement and something red caught her eye. Elain peered in through the window, carefully placing herself so that the people inside wouldn’t see her. 

Her heart was beating in her chest, as if she was afraid to be caught spying on someone. Which was ridiculous. She wasn’t spying. She was simply waiting for an appropriate time to give her neighbor some cakes. She was definitely not…

Her heart skipped a beat when she saw Azriel. He was standing in the middle of the room, looking as handsome as ever. But the thing that made Elain’s breath catch was the woman beside him. She was, to put it frankly, breathtakingly gorgeous. Her long blonde hair reached her waist and the red shirt she was wearing was hugging her curves just right. Even though Elain wasn’t attracted to women, she had to admit that this might be the most beautiful person she had ever seen. She could be a model , Elain thought as she looked down at herself. Looked at her sensible shoes and her boring blue jeans. She had forgotten to take off her apron. It was full of stains.

Elan glanced through the window again and the woman was now holding onto Azriel’s arm, peering up at him through her lashes, a small pout on her lips. 

He had a girlfriend. 

Azriel had a beautiful girlfriend and Elain was standing in the rain, hugging two containers of cake and cookies that nobody had asked her to bring. She felt like a fool. An utter fool. 

Of course he had a girlfriend. He was handsome, funny and interesting. Most women would probably line up for just a chance to date him. And she had thought…

She didn’t know what she had been thinking. He was not even a friend and she was going on a date with another man tomorrow. So why did she feel so…disappointed? She should be happy for him.  

Elain took a few steps backwards, careful not to make any sound or sudden movement. She didn’t want Azriel to see her and think that she had been spying. 

Because she hadn’t been. She had just been staring at him and his girlfriend like a creep. 

Shit. 

Elain hurried back to her store and thanked some higher power when a customer followed her inside. She didn’t want to think about Azriel or the blonde or Lucien or how fucking lonely she felt most of the time. She just wanted to work and then go home and go to sleep. She doubted that she would get any sleep though since tomorrow was April 3rd. 

The day of the date . 

And as if matters couldn’t get worse, she had no idea what to wear.

–-------------

The third of April 

Elain was pretty sure that the world was ending when she woke up. She had managed to fall asleep but she had woken up multiple times during the night. She was not well rested and for a second, she thought that her alarm was the music that greeted her in hell. 

She wasn’t religious and she had never been adventurous enough to do anything that might make her end up in hell, unless you think of Hell like Dante described it in The Divine Comedy because then she would at least make it to the first circle of hell since she wasn’t baptized. She might even make it to the second circle since she had felt lust sometimes. 

Why on earth am I thinking of Dante Alighieri at seven in the morning?

Elain rubbed her eyes, trying to make the world come into focus. It was Friday. Friday the third. Last night, she stayed up way too late trying on most of her clothes. She had no idea what to wear. She googled the bar they were going to just to see what kind of vibe to go for. It was a bit on the fancier side, so jeans were out of the questions. Not that she minded - she actually preferred skirts and dresses. After spending an eternity trying on clothes and texting Feyre that she had nothing to wear, she finally managed to find something appropriate.

The dress now hung on her wardrobe door, silently mocking her. 

For the rest of the day, she tried to not think about that blue dress or Lucien or the date. She just did what she did best; she focused on her job. The few hours of sleep had definitely helped her feel more like a human. She could actually talk and socialize with the customers today. The bouquets she made came out beautifully and the meeting with a bride-and-groom-to-be went really well. All in all, it was a good day. At least work-wise. But as the clock neared closing time, that odd feeling in her stomach came creeping back. 

More than once she picked up her phone to text Feyre that she couldn't do this. But every time, she deleted the message. She didn’t want to imagine the disappointed look on her sister’s face, nor did she want Feyre to keep nagging her about living a little. 

So when she locked the door behind her, she took a deep breath and gave herself a pep talk before going home to get ready. 

What’s the worst thing that could happen?

A few minutes after seven, she stepped out of her apartment building. She was glad that it had stopped raining since her black heels wouldn’t have survived such weather. The night air was crisp and Elain pondered putting on the jacket she had slung over her arm when she was met by a familiar voice. 

“Good evening.”

Elain turned around. “Hi.” She crossed her arms over her chest, feeling a bit self-conscious. She could feel Azriel’s eyes on her even though she tried to avoid his gaze. 

“That’s a nice dress,” he commented, and Elain could feel herself blush at the compliment. At him noticing what she was wearing. 

“Thank you.” For just a second, she let herself look at him. As always, he was dressed in black. The street lights overhead cast shadows all around him. 

“Going someplace special?” A small smirk was playing on his lips, adding a playfulness to his handsome features. She wasn’t used to looking at him straight on like this. Usually when they talked, they were sitting shoulder to shoulder (but not touching). 

“Uhm,” she hesitated. Should she tell him the truth? “I–I’m going to a bar.”

“A bar? Crazy night with your friends?” Azriel crossed his arms over his chest too, mimicking her body language. She wondered if he had meant to do that or if he was a bit chilly too. 

Elain had to bite back a small, humorless laugh. She didn’t have any friends. And she couldn’t remember ever having a night that could be called crazy. But Azriel didn’t have to know that. She didn’t want to seem even more pathetic. So she told him the truth. 

Nervously, she reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Actually, I’m going on a date.” Even though she wanted to look away, she forced herself to meet his eyes just to see his reaction. 

Azriel’s face didn’t tell her anything. The smirk was gone, but all of his features were neutral. There was no emotion to read. Not that she was particularly good at reading facial expressions anyway. 

“A date, huh? And who’s the lucky guy?” he asked, and quickly added. “or girl.”

Elain forced herself to smile. “It's a guy. And I have never met him before, so I don’t really know who he is.”

This time Azriel’s brows furrowed, his gaze becoming more intense. “You’ve never met him before?”

“Nope.” Elain shook her head. She didn’t know what else to say. 

“That’s not safe. You shouldn’t…”

Elain held up her hand to stop him. “He knows my sister. She promised that he’s not a serial killer, so hopefully you won’t have to describe this dress to any cops tomorrow,” Elain tried to joke, but she could tell that Azriel didn’t find it funny at all. 

“That’s morbid,” he commented, that serious look never leaving his handsome face. 

She shrugged, trying to come off as anything but the nervous mess she actually was. “I have an odd sense of humor. I mean, you’ve seen the tea set.”

Azriel nodded. He looked like he wanted to say something, but there was just a long silence stretching between them. 

“I guess I should–” Elain started just as Azriel said, “So, where is he taking you”?

She had no idea why he cared, but she told him the name of the bar anyway. 

“Nice place.”

“It looked nice in the pictures.”

Again, he just nodded in answer and again, there was that damn silence. Elain looked at her phone just to have something to do, but also to check the time. She didn’t want to be late. 

“Make sure that you’re not alone with him.”

Elain’s eyes shot back up and the only thing she could see were Azriel’s dark, stormy eyes. Usually, she found them calming and warm, but tonight they reminded her of a thunderstorm. And his comment made her feel like she had swallowed an entire tornado. Who was he to tell her what to do?

“I can take care of myself.”

A twitch in his jaw was the only sign of any emotion. “I don’t doubt that, I just…” he paused, trying to find his words. “Some men are creeps.”

“Believe me, I know,” Elain scoffed. 

“I just mean…”

“It’ll be fine,” she interrupted, boring her eyes into him to make him understand that this was the end of this conversation. She had no idea why she was so irritated. He was just looking out for her, she knew that, but still…

“Well, enjoy your evening then.”

“I will,” she said but made no move to go. Azriel took a step back though. A step away from her and as soon as he did, all the irritation disappeared and the nervousness came back in full force. 

Elain gave him a forced smile and turned around, trying to forget the way his stormy eyes seemed to be able to look into her soul. 

She hadn’t even taken two steps when he called her name again. 

Slowly, she turned around. 

“Yes?”

He was still standing there on the pavement, hand in his pockets now. “The dress really is beautiful.” There was something in his gaze that she couldn’t decipher. 

Elain could have sworn that her heart skipped a beat. 

Stupid, treachearous heart. 

She let her fingers play with the fabric of the skirt, the thin material cool beneath her touch. 

“Thank you. I really like this color.” 

“Cobalt.”

“What?”

“The color,” Azriel said and nodded to the dress, “cobalt. It suits you.”

Before Elain even had the chance to form a response in her mind, Azriel was gone. It was as if he just stepped into the shadows and disappeared. At least that’s what it felt like when she was left standing all alone, her mind racing with thoughts of Azriel and the way he looked at her and his girlfriend and the date and…

Oh, god, the date. 

As quickly as possible, Elain put on her coat and started walking toward the Sidra. It wasn’t far and she needed the walk to clear her head. 

–----

Elain was early. 

She was always early. She knew that the cool thing to do would be to be fashionably late, but she just couldn’t. There was something inside her that made it impossible to be late. Elain had only been late once in her life and she could still remember her heart racing, palms sweating, head spinning. Her bus had been late that time, which meant that she was ten minutes late for school. Nobody had seemed to care. But Elain cared. Elain cared so much that she still remembered every little detail of that morning ten years later. 

So Elain was early. Twenty minutes early. Even though she had stopped to talk to Azriel, she was somehow still very early for her date. If she didn’t know herself better, she would have thought that she was excited. But no, that was not it. With a quick glance at her phone, she decided to take a walk up and down the street to pass the time. When she returned to the bar, only four endlessly slow minutes had passed. 

And Lucien was nowhere in sight. 

And it was getting cold now that the sun had gone down. 

She had two options: 

Stay outside and wait for her date and risk freezing to death or her feet going numb.  

Go inside and wait and risk looking like a fool if she stood her up.

She went with option two. Being a fool seemed like a better choice than death and dumbness. 

The bar was warm and busy. The decor was modern and tasteful and the view of the river Sidra outside the window was quite beautiful. One might even call it romantic. 

Elain made her way through the bar until she found an empty table in the back. She didn’t know why she felt relieved when she noticed that she couldn’t see the view from where she sat. 

She had barely had time to take off her coat when someone dressed in black slacks and a white shirt came up to the table. Her heart skipped a beat for just a second, but then she realized that it couldn’t be Lucien. Not yet. Also, the person standing in front of her was a woman. 

She let out a sigh of relief. 

“Hi, and welcome to the Sidra ,” the woman, ‘Stacy’ according to her name tag, said. She handed Elain a menu. “Here’s the menu. You can order at the bar when you know what you want, or, if you already know what you want, I can take your order.”

Elain glanced at the empty chair in front of her and then at the door. Should she order before Lucien arrived? It would feel quite silly to sit here and just…wait. Elain tried to imagine what her sister, Nesta, would do. 

Nesta would most definitely order a drink. And if the guy didn’t show, she would order another one. Elain probably wouldn’t go that far, but one drink would be fine. Even if she got stood up. 

“A glass of wine?” It came out as a question. 

Stacy nodded. “Sure, what kind?”

“Eh, white?”

Elain didn’t know much about wine. She just knew that red wine gave her a headache. She hoped that Stacy wouldn’t ask her to be more specific. And thank god, because with another nod, Stacy was gone. 

Elain wiped her hands on a napkin on the table. She was suddenly very warm. And her mind was reeling. What if he actually didn’t show? She hadn’t even thought about that before tonight. She had worried so much about the date that him not showing up hadn’t even crossed her mind. 

Now it was all she could think about. 

What if he didn’t show?

What if she had to call Feyre and say that she had been stood up.

Or worse, what if Azriel asked how the date went and she had to admit that she…

“Elain?”

The sound of name made her jump in her chair. She had been focusing on a spot on the floor. She hadn’t even noticed that Stacy had brought her a glass of wine. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you,” the person standing in front of her said. She could only see his shoes. They were nice. “Are you Elain?”

This time, she actually looked up. Looked at the man in front of her. He was smiling down at her, a tentative smile. Was he nervous too?

Elain nodded, words escaping her as she took in the man before her. His hair was long, which she hadn’t expected. It’s not often one sees a man with long hair, especially not long, red hair. It almost looked like fire in the dim glow of the light. His skin was golden, as if he had spent a lot of time outside in the sun. He was wearing slacks and a button down. Proper, but not overdressed. 

When she realized that she hadn’t uttered a single word, Elain cleared her throat. “Yes, I’m Elain. And you’re…”

He reached out his hand toward her. “Lucien,” he said. Elain shook his hand, which felt weird when she was sitting down. 

Lucien sat down in the empty chair and Elain fiddled with the hem of her dress. She felt his eyes on her and she wanted to look away, but she knew that it would be rude to do so so she forced herself to meet his gaze. His eyes were warm, kind. He was still smiling. As she studied him, she noticed a scar running from his forehead to his cheek, over his left eye. The scar was faded, probably old. Oddly enough, it made him even more good looking, Elain thought to herself. 

Because yes, he did look good. For some reason, Elain had imagined him being ugly or at least very average looking. She had not imagined this . This golden, fiery man in front of her. 

God, was she staring? 

“Good, you ordered,” he said and gestured to Elain’s glass. And as if on cue, Stacy appeared. “Good evening,” she said, her eyes focused on Lucien and a flirty smile playing on her lips. “What can I get you?” 

Elain noted that Stacy didn’t tell Lucien that he could put in his order at the bar. 

Lucien reached for the menu in front of Elain. He quickly scanned the options before ordering an old fashioned. Stacy lingered a bit too long after taking the order but when Lucien’s eyes returned to Elain, she walked off. 

“I’m glad you wanted to meet up,” he said. 

“Yeah, me too,” Elain replied. She picked up her glass and took a sip. Did her hands shake?

Did he notice?

“You’re even prettier than your picture.” 

Elain knew that she was blushing. She always blushed when people complimented her. “Thank you,” she said. “I can’t say the same about you.”

Lucien’s eyebrows shot up, an amused, yet simultaneously confused, look clouding his face. And that's when Elain realized what she had said. What she had implied. 

“Oh, god. No, I didn’t mean– I just,” she took a deep breath. “I just meant that Feyre didn’t show me a photo of you so I didn’t know what you looked like. Hence, I couldn’t say if you look better in photos or in person.”

Elain wanted the earth to swallow her whole. 

The following seconds felt like years dragging by and Elain wondered if he would just get up and leave, but then his face broke into a brilliant smile. “Oh, okay. That definitely makes me feel better.”

“Good. I mean– you do look good.”

Lucien opened his mouth to answer but then Stacy appeared, drink in hand.

“Here you go.” She handed him his drink. Elain definitely saw the flirty smile she directed at him. She didn’t feel jealous, but she wondered why Stacy would flirt with someone who was clearly on a date. 

“Just wave at me if you need anything else.”

“Will do.”

Lucien sipped his drink and Elain followed suit.

“So, Elain. Feyre told me that you have your own business.”

Elain nodded, happy to talk about her work. “Yes. I own a flower shop.”

“When did you start out?”

“A little over two years ago.”

As soon as she answered, Elain could hear her mother’s voice in her head, telling her that she had to ask questions if she wanted people to actually like her. 

“And what do you do?”

Lucien leaned back in his chair, his eyes still focused solely on her. “I’m a chef.”

“Really?” 

“Yes, really,” he chuckled. “Why? Don’t I look like one?”

Blushing, Elain shook her head. “No, it’s not that. It’s just… I’ve never met a professional chef before.” she meant for that last part to sound a bit flirty, but she suspected that she failed miserably. 

“It sounds more impressive than it is. I’m no Gordon Ramsey.” 

“Well, I guess that’s good because he can be quite scary sometimes. I saw this clip where he held up two slices of bread to someone's face and called them an idiot sandwich.”

He laughed, and Elain felt very proud of the fact that she had made him laugh in under five minutes. That didn’t happen very often. 

“Yeah, I can’t say I’ve ever done that to someone. I have definitely called someone an idiot, but idiot sandwich is just taking it a bit too far, right?”

Elain nodded, “Oh, yeah. Definitely. I’d much rather be an idiot than an idiot sandwich.”

“Noted,” he said with a warm smile. He reminded her of sunshine. 

If Azriel was shadows and darkness, this man was all light and fire and warmth. 

And oh, for the love of everything that is holy. Why was she thinking about Azriel?

Elain grasped for something to say just to bring herself back to this moment. “So, what brings you to Velaris? Feyre said that you just moved here.”

He nodded and took another sip of his drink. The big ice cube clinked against the glass. “Well, the short story is that I got a new job.”

“And the long story?”

He chuckled. “Well, it’s actually not a very long story. I used to work at one of Tamlin’s restaurants. You know Tamlin?”

Obviously, she knew her sister’s boyfriend. Not very well, but yeah, she knew him. She nodded. “Was he your boss?”

“Something like that. Well, I worked my way up and one night we served this high profile food critic. Not to brag or anything, but the review was great and he mentioned me in his article. After that, I had a few job offers and the best offer was at a restaurant here, and I guess that’s it. Not a particularly exciting story,” he shrugged. 

Elain knew that she should tell him that she was impressed or ask him something else about the new job, but there was only one single question in her mind and she needed the answer. 

“What did Tamlin think about you leaving?” 

She couldn’t imagine that he would have been happy if one of his best chefs left. 

Once again, Lucien shrugged. “Tamlin and I have known each other for years. He knew that it was time for me to try something new and this was the best time for that.”

Elain felt as if there was something he wasn’t telling her, but she also felt that he clearly didn’t want to talk about Tamlin so she dropped the subject. 

They continued talking about their work for a while. They ordered two more drinks and Lucien asked her what she liked to do outside of work. 

It was Elain’s least favorite question. 

She had hobbies. Lots of them. But they could all be done in the solitude of her home, which wasn’t particularly exciting. She always felt extraordinarily boring when she talked about her life outside of work. Sometimes when people asked her what she liked to do, she lied and said that she enjoyed hiking or shopping or other things that actually involved other people. But what would be the point in lying to a date? If they actually went on more dates, the lies would just bite her in the ass eventually. 

So she told the truth. “Well, I like to read and bake. And I like puzzles.” Her middle finger was tracing a drop of water running down her glass. “I work a lot so I don’t have much energy after work,” she quickly added, hoping that it explained her boring interests. 

Also, couldn’t she have just left out that she liked puzzles? She sounded like an old grandma and she was just 25. 

25 going on 87.

Thankfully, Lucien didn’t comment on the puzzles. He just asked her what she liked to read. 

The real answer would have been romance, but instead she answered, “oh, a lot of things.”

She had met enough guys who made fun of girls for liking romance (her ex being one of them). 

“Well, even though I’m a chef, I must admit that I’m not the best baker.”

Before the words even registered in Elain's brain, she said, “I could teach you.”

With another sunshine smile, Lucien answered, “I would love that.”

Did this mean that they were going on a second date? Elain had no idea. All she knew was that she was awkward and she needed to be a bit more flirty. Even though she wasn’t really feeling any sparks, she wanted Lucien to like her. He was clearly very good looking, and he was kind and had a good job. And so far, he didn’t give off serial killer vibes. 

Elain should like him. Elain should give him a chance. 

So what if there were no sparks? Could you really expect to feel sparks on the first date?

Elain couldn’t even remember feeling any sparks with Graysen. Ever. Maybe sparks were just a myth. Maybe the butterflies and the sparks and the passion that people felt when they started dating someone new were all just myths?

Elain took a deep breath, trying to breathe out all of her anxiety and self doubt and breath in confidence. “Sure, if you teach me to make your favorite dish,” she said and smiled at him. It wasn’t a fake smile, but she wasn’t completely sure that it reached her eyes. 

“I would love to, Elain.”

The sound of her name did absolutely nothing to her. 

It wasn’t like when Azriel said her name. 

Oh, for fuck’s sake. 

“So,” Elain continued, “what do you like to do when you're not cooking and calling people idiots?” 

“Who says I don’t enjoy those things in my spare time, too?” 

“Do you?”

With another warm laugh, he shook his head. “No, I can’t say I do. Well, obviously I do cook since I have to feed myself, but I usually spend my spare time working out or hanging out with my friends.”

Hanging out with my friends. 

Elain had never understood that saying. Hanging out.  

What exactly did that mean? What did ‘hanging out’ entail? It was a pretty fuzzy answer to give someone who tried to get to know you. Not that Elain would ever say that to someone. She knew that she was the minority for thinking like that, so she just nodded. 

Lucien wasn’t difficult to talk to. He asked her questions when she didn’t know how to continue the conversation and he didn’t seem to mind. He seemed genuinely interested in her, which was nice. And she had to admit that he was quite interesting, too. They were very different, but ‘opposites attract’ was a popular saying for a reason, right?

“This has been lovely,” Lucien said as they got up to leave. 

Lovely was probably not the word Elain would use, but she wouldn’t call the evening ‘horrible’ or ‘disaster’ either. She might have gone with ‘nerve wracking’ or ‘a little bit uncomfortable but overall quite pleasant’. 

But instead, she nodded. “Yes, it really has been.”

She smiled at him, and she didn’t have to force it. Although she had been nervous and although there had been a few uncomfortable silences, it had been a pretty nice evening. 

When they walked out, Lucien placed his hand on her lower back as she walked through the door. She had seen men do that in movies and she always imagined that such a thing would make her feel butterflies. 

So why did she feel nothing?

It was probably the nerves, Elain reasoned. 

“I would like to see you again,” Lucien said, his breath rising like smoke from his mouth in the cold night air. 

It made her think of Azriel. 

“I think that could be arranged.” Elain sounded more confident and flirty than she felt. She blamed (or thanked?) the wine. 

Lucien smiled and leaned closer. He smelled like cinnamon and musk. Warmth. Tenderly, he kissed cheek. Elain knew that she must be blushing. 

“Do you need me to walk you home?”

Elain imagined him walking her home and then she heard Azriel’s voice in her head, telling her to not be alone with the man she was going on a date with. Also, all the sites online told her that she should never tell a date where she lived until at least the third date. 

She shook her head. “No, I’ll grab a taxi.”

Without a single word, Lucien took a few steps closer to the street and raised his hand. Magically, a taxi appeared, slowing down in front of him. It was probably not magic (since magic wasn’t real), yet it sure seemed like it. 

“Thank you,” she said as Lucien held up the door for her. 

“I’ll text you.”

“I look forward to it.”

When he shut the door, Elain wasn’t completely sure if she had lied or told him the truth. All she did know was that she had tried something new and her world hadn’t collapsed. It had actually been quite nice. 

As soon as she stepped through the front door, her phone alerted her to a new message. 

It was lovely seeing you tonight, Elain. I hope we can do this again soon! /Lucien. 

#dottielovegoodfanfiction #elriel #elriel fanfic #elain x azriel #azriel x elain #elriel fanfiction #elain archeron

[dottielovegood]

Bloom (Elriel fanfic)

Chapter 1

(I wasn't planning on uploading this fic to tumblr but since some people enjoy reading their fics here I changed my mind. This is the first chapter - it was uploaded on AO3 weeks ago. I will update both tumblr and AO3 with the upcoming chapters.)

________

Title: Bloom

Summary: Elain owns a flower shop Azriel owns a tattoo parlor A classic flower shop / tattoo parlor AU.

One night, Azriel meets the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Unfortunately, this is also the last time he sees her. Or so he thought.

Content warning: explicit smut in future chapters (but it will be kind of slow burn. Also, the tags on ao3 will be updated as the story progresses)

Read on AO3 here

_________________________________________

CHAPTER 1

The first time Azriel saw her would also be his last. 

He had been hiding backstage before their annual gig at Rita’s. He still didn’t know how he got talked into this every year, yet here he was, ready to perform. He wasn’t nervous, per se. He didn’t get nervous very easily, and since they had given up their dream of actually becoming rockstars, music had definitely become more lustful than nerve-wracking. This didn’t mean that he was calm, though. He always slept badly before a performance, and the lack of sleep somehow made it impossible for him to relax. He could feel Rhysand’s and Cassian’s eyes on him as he bounced on his heels. 

“It’s a good crowd tonight,” Mor said as she entered the backstage area and sank down on the couch next to Cassian. “Some of your usual groupies.” She winked and elbowed him playfully. Cassian rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t hide the small grin that painted his lips. 

Azriel had to turn away from his friends to hide his frown. 

This was the part of performing that made him most uncomfortable. Sure, as a teenager, it had been cool to have girls throwing themselves at him. But now, at 28, it wasn’t as fantastic, which is why Azriel never went home with anyone who attended their gigs, no matter how many bras or panties they tossed up on stage. To be honest, he actually detested it when they did that. Why would he want someone’s used underwear? 

Azriel heaved a sigh and walked over to the curtain to check out the crowd. Mor had been right – there was a decent crowd out there. He recognized some of his friends and a few people that had been to most of their gigs. Yet most faces were just a blur to him and he knew that as soon as he got up on that stage, the lights would blind him and make it impossible for him to recognize a single person in the crowd. 

Azriel’s eyes scanned the dark room and just when he was about to close the curtains, he saw her . She was standing alone at the bar nursing a drink, looking completely out of place. 

She was the most beautiful woman Azriel had ever seen. 

As soon as he laid his eyes on her, it was as if every other person disappeared. As if a spotlight was angled at her and no one else. Her golden hair was hanging down her back in soft curls and her big eyes were searching the room for something. Maybe someone? She was wearing a dress with floral prints, which only added to her looking out of place. She was surrounded by people in leather jackets and ripped jeans.

Azriel was intrigued, to say the least. 

Before he could even register that he had moved, he was making his way through the crowd. 

Toward the bar. 

Toward her . 

He couldn’t make sense of it, but he just needed to talk to her. He needed to know something about her. Anything. Was she here to see them play? Had she been here before? Azriel doubted it. If they had ever been in the same room before, he would have known. 

Azriel looked at his phone: 15 minutes until they had to be on stage. Plenty of time to ask her–-

When he looked up again, she was no longer alone. A tall, skinny man was standing next to her, with one elbow leaning on the bar, he was facing her. Talking. Azriel couldn’t make out what the man was saying, and he shouldn’t care. She clearly knew the man. Azriel should turn around. He should go back backstage. Yet something kept him standing there, staring at her. And with each second passing, the look on her face grew sadder. Whatever this man was telling her, it wasn’t good news. It was as if he was dimming the light that had shone so brightly around her just moments ago. The man reached out to touch her arm but she shrugged him off and took a step back. Away from  him. Azriel had no idea what the man had said, but something inside of him wanted to run up to them and punch the guy in the face. Why was he making her sad? And why on earth was he doing it in public? Bad news should be delivered in private. 

Azriel turned around and started to make his way back to the stage. She clearly had things to deal with and he didn’t want to be some sort of creep that stood and stared at her from afar. But when he reached the stage he couldn’t help but look over his shoulder just to make sure that she was okay. 

She was alone again. 

Alone and…crying? Azriel couldn’t tell in the dark club, but her eyes were definitely glassy. He knew that he should keep going. He should leave her be. He didn’t know her. Didn’t know how to comfort her. Didn’t even know if she wanted comfort. But his traitorous body had already turned around again, making his way through the crowd.

The woman didn’t see him as he walked up to the bar and stood beside her. She was staring at the exit, a solemn look on her face. Was she thinking about leaving, or was she waiting for the man to come back?

“You look like you need a drink,” Azriel said, hoping that she wouldn’t hate him for talking to her when she was so clearly upset. When he first saw her he had every intent on flirting with her, but now he just wanted to make sure she was okay. 

The woman huffed a humorless laugh, “I probably need ten drinks to make this night tolerable,” she answered and turned her head to look at him. A small gasp escaped her lips when she met his gaze. Azriel didn’t know what that meant and decided to ignore it. It might have been a sob. He wasn’t sure. 

“Can I buy you the first one then?”

The woman looked back at the exit and then at him, “I should probably go home.”

Something inside Azriel wanted to ask her to stay. Wanted to ask her so many things. Why was she here? Had she come to see them perform? Who was the man she had been with just moments ago? Why was she sad? Did she need someone to torture the bastard that clearly didn’t deserve her?

So many questions, and all of them were inappropriate for a stranger to ask, so he settled on, “Do you want to go home?”

The woman was looking at the floor. And with the slightest shake of her head she told Azriel everything he needed to know for now. 

“So, what’s your poison?”

“Something that burns,” she said quickly. Too quickly. 

Azriel didn’t ask what she needed to burn away, he just asked the bartender for two glasses of whisky. He knew that Rita would give him the good kind. 

The woman reached for her glass and drew her finger along the edge, appearing lost in thought again. 

Azriel had no idea what he was doing, which was unusual when it came to women. But she wasn’t like other women, and she was clearly not interested in him. Not right now. 

Azriel picked up his glass and held it up in front of him, “what should we drink to?”

She didn’t answer him. She just kept staring at her drink. 

Azriel felt foolish. He shouldn’t have walked up to her. She clearly needed space. But here he was, and he had to try to make the best of the situation. “Well, here’s to you then,” he said and smiled at her. 

She picked up her glass and looked at him once again. Her eyes were red and glassy, her expression sad. “There is nothing about me worth drinking to,” she said and downed her drink. 

Before Azriel could say anything the woman had picked up her bag and was making her way to the exit. He stood frozen at the bar. Who the fuck had hurt her, and why? Azriel didn’t have much time to think about it because just a second later, Mor was tapping his shoulder.

“We’re on in a minute,” she announced. “Are you coming?”

With one last glance toward the exit, Azriel nodded. “Yeah, I’m coming.”

He tipped back the rest of the drink and followed Mor to the stage. And as he walked up to take his place behind the microphone he wasn’t thinking about the crowd or which song they were playing first. 

No, the only thing that went through his mind was; I didn’t even get to know her name. 

So the first time he saw her would also be his last. 

Or so he thought. 

–----------------------

3 months later

It had been exactly three months since Graysen had dumped her in a crowded bar. They had been a couple for three years and he hadn’t even had the decency to dump her in private. Not that she should be surprised. There had always been something off about their relationship. Even though they had been together for years, Graysen had never wanted to move in together. Elain hadn’t pushed him, but it meant that she had to travel across Velaris every time they were going to meet up since he almost never felt like coming over to her place. He had always seemed to care more about his job and his friends than he did about her, but Elain had thought that maybe that was normal for men in their twenties. Maybe he would grow up and come to his senses? But now she realized that he had never prioritized their relationship because she couldn’t give him what he wanted. Couldn’t be the kind of woman he needed. 

And even if he had been an asshole at times, she couldn’t blame him. 

She wasn’t very interesting. She lived a quiet life and was happy to do so. Men like Graysen wanted something else. Something more. Something exciting.  

Something she could never be. 

So for three months, she had spent the time trying to get used to the idea of being alone forever. She might have gotten a cat if she wasn’t so allergic. When she had told Nesta about that, Nesta had laughed and said, “Elain, there is nothing more tragic than a crazy cat lady, especially not one who just turned twenty five. You won’t be alone forever. I know that it feels like it right now, but you will find someone who loves you for you. And if you don’t, then fuck them all. Most men can’t see a good thing even if it bites them in the ass.”

Nesta was everything Elain was not. Interesting, outgoing, opinionated and cool. Her only fault was probably that she was too independent. She dated a lot, but no man ever made it past the second date. Nesta said that she liked living her life like that because she was too busy for a relationship. Elain sometimes wondered if Nesta’s independence was some sort of shield. If she didn’t let anyone come too close, nobody could hurt her. 

Her other sister, Feyre, was like a mix between the two of them. She had moved to Springside, a town located an hour south of Velaris, a few years ago with her boyfriend, Tamlin. They had met when Feyre was only 19 and Tamlin was 25. To be honest, Elain didn’t like Tamlin much. He was brooding, but not in a sexy way. And he seemed to like to know exactly what Feyre was doing at every hour of every day. Elain had told Feyre that he seemed controlling but Feyre had said that he was just looking out for her. It was his way of showing her that he cared. Feyre had always been artistic and fun, but lately, Elain worried about her. She had stopped painting and rarely came to visit her and Nesta in Velaris. Elain made a mental note to call Feyre this weekend. 

Elain looked at the clock on her kitchen wall. She had to open her shop in an hour, which meant that she had to leave right now if she wanted to have time to prepare everything. 

Elain had always loved routines, but since Graysen dumped her, she had become obsessed with making schedules and lists. Every day was planned out, making no room for her to sit and think. Because if she allowed herself to think, the dark thoughts would come back and she couldn’t deal with that right now. So instead, she planned and scheduled and kept going.

Elain lived in an apartment building close to the Sidra. She had been lucky enough to be able to move into the apartment above her flower shop which meant that it took her approximately one minute to get to work. Every morning, she was reminded how grateful she was for her little boutique. Ever since she was a little girl she had wanted to have her own flower shop. When her father died a few years ago he left his daughters an inheritance. It hadn’t been much but Elain had saved every penny. Then she worked shitty jobs until she had been able to open her shop. The little shop was her pride and joy. And the people in Velaris seemed to enjoy her flowers too, which was everything she could wish for really. 

As Elain walked out of the building (unfortunately, she didn’t have a private staircase that led her straight down to her store), Elain glanced to the store next to hers. For years, a lovely man named Mahdi had owned that store. He sold the best tea in Velaris and, as the kind man he was, he brought Elain a cup of steaming tea every afternoon. “Tea is good for the soul,” he used to say. Elain missed him dearly. He had passed away from old age a few months ago, leaving the space empty. His children had cleared it out within a couple of weeks and then it was just empty. Elain hated seeing it like that. Every morning when she looked in through the windows, she somehow hoped to see the old man behind the register. But he was gone. 

Then a few weeks ago, the windows had been covered by brown paper. 

And then the banging had begun. For two weeks, Elain thought that she might go crazy from the sounds of the renovation that was going on in the store next to hers. For two weeks, she had to apologize to her customers for the noise. And for two weeks, she had been trying to peek through the windows to see what they were doing to the place. She hadn’t been able to see much, and the note on the door didn’t give her any indication. 

It just said: “The wait will be over soon.”

“The wait for what?” Elain had muttered one morning when the builders had been particularly noisy. “Some peace and quiet?”

But today, Elain found that the brown paper was gone, and so was the secretive sign on the door. Instead, she found a big sign above the door that read “Shadowsinger Tattoos''. 

A tattoo parlor?

She tried looking through the windows, but the place was dark. She could make out dark walls covered with art and a big couch that was pushed up against one of the walls. Elain took a few steps back and looked over at her own store, and then back at Shadowsinger Tattoo. It painted a funny picture. Her store was light and pretty and full of flowers and the tattoo parlor was all darkness and shadows. 

She couldn’t help but smile. She would never admit it, but she had always been intrigued by tattoos. She would never get one, of course not. But on certain people, they could be quite sexy. 

She blushed as soon as the thought entered her mind. She didn’t think of people as sexy very often. The only person she had seen that could be called sexy had been that man in the bar that bought her a drink that night. It had been one of the worst nights in her life, and obviously every memory from that night was clouded by the break up. But sometimes, late at night, she could see his face. The handsome stranger with jet black hair and dark, hazel eyes. She hadn’t asked for his name so in her mind, he was just ‘the handsome stranger’. She had never seen a man more beautiful. Sometimes, she thought that she had just made him up in her mind. Like some sort of coping mechanism to make the memory of that night a little more bearable. 

Elain looked at her watch and realized that she only had 45 minutes to put out the flowers and make the bouquets she usually kept by the register for customers who just wanted to grab something quickly. She hurried over to her entrance, and with one last glance to the door next to hers, she entered her store. 

It was a busy day, as always on Saturdays. Customers came in to buy flowers for friends, lovers and parents. Some even bought flowers for themselves. Most customers bought her ready-made bouquets or grabbed some roses or peonies. Her favorite customers were the ones who wanted something special and asked her to make something beautiful for them. Elain had always seen flowers as an art and she was never happier than when she could be creative. 

“Thank you, doll. My Frankie will love these,” the old lady in front of Elain said when she showed her the flowers. A beautiful arrangement of reds and oranges and yellows for a husband that loved autumn. Elain smiled at the lady. Most of the time, it was the man in a relationship that bought flowers for his girlfriend or wife. But Elain loved it when the women came in and bought flowers for their male partners. Not only because she didn’t like the gender norms in society, but because women often gave her more creative freedom. 

Around lunch time there was a lull in the store and Elain's mind was drawn back to Shadowsinger Tattoos. Had they opened yet? Who was the owner? Were they nice? Did they like flowers? 

Elain hoped that they liked flowers because she intended to give them a bouquet to welcome them to the neighborhood. She walked around the store, picking different flowers that might be fitting for a dark tattoo parlor. She chose black dahlias (that weren’t really black; they were a very dark red. Almost like dried blood), purple calla lilies and black baccara roses. She added some foliage and fillers to the bouquet to make it look rich. She probably spent over 40 minutes on it, wanting to make it perfect. 

A few minutes past two, Elain decided to close her store for just a short moment while she delivered the flowers to her new neighbors. She didn’t know their opening hours and she didn’t want to risk them being closed later. She grabbed the flowers and let out a breath. 

“You can do this,” she told herself. “They won’t think you are weird just because you bring them flowers”. 

Elain always worried that people would think that she was odd. She had been told all her life that she was a bit weird and stuck in her own head. Graysen once told her that she was lucky she was hot, because most people would find her boring. He was probably right. Even though she didn’t exactly see herself as hot, she knew that she was pretty. That was another thing she had been told all her life. And sometimes, it was as if people expected her to be something she wasn’t just because she looked good. She hated it. Sometimes she just wanted to be invisible. 

A small bell chimed when Elain entered Shadowsinger Tattoos , alerting whoever owned the place to her arrival. Slowly, Elain made her way over to the register. She looked around the space and realized that the walls weren’t painted black as she had initially thought. They were a deep red color, almost like the dahlias in her bouquet. The sofa was black though and the material looked like velvet. Elain had a sudden urge to drag her hand over it. She could see two doors that she assumed led to the place where they actually tattooed people. 

The walls were indeed covered in art, and she assumed that the drawings were tattoos that someone, somewhere, now had on their skin. She could see two very different styles of tattoos from just looking at the pictures hung in golden frames all over the shop. Half of them were colorful and showed a variety of motifs, whereas the other half had a floral theme and were drawn using only black and gray. They were all beautiful, but Elain felt drawn to the floral tattoos. She didn’t have much time to admire them though, because a woman was walking toward her, a big smile on her face. 

“Hi, I’m Cerridwen. Can I help you?”

The woman in front of her could only be described as gorgeous. The pink dress she wore was a beautiful contrast to her dark skin. Her long hair had been braided into purple braids that framed her face. One of her arms was covered in tattoos. Some of them looked like the floral tattoos on the wall. Had she tattooed herself, Elain wondered?

“Hi, I’m Elain. I own the flower shop next door.” She gestured to the wall separating their stores. “I just wanted to give you some flowers and welcome you to the neighborhood. And wish you good luck with your business.”

Cerridwen beamed at her and took the flowers. “Thank you. These are gorgeous!” she exclaimed. “And thank you for putting them in a vase.” She placed the flowers next to the register and Elain had an urge to move them just a bit to make sure that the best part of the bouquet was visible from the customer's point of view, but she refrained. 

Elain looked around the space again, feeling awkward and unsure of what to say. She pointed to one of the pictures on the wall; one of the floral drawings. “These drawings are beautiful, did you make them?” Elain asked. 

Cerridwen smiled. “The colorful ones are mine, but that one…”

“That one is mine,” a man’s voice declared from somewhere behind her. Elain froze. There was something about that voice…

Something familiar. 

Elain turned around slowly, and she almost stopped breathing when she saw the man that was walking toward her. He wore a black T-shirt, black trousers and black army boots. He was darkness incarnate. 

And it was him. 

The handsome stranger. 

God, he was even more handsome in daylight. 

His hair was messy and a few strands stuck to his forehead. The hazel eyes were focused on the drawing she was still pointing at. She quickly drew her hand back and hoped that he hadn’t caught her staring. 

Did he recognize her? She couldn’t read the expression on his face when he drew his gaze up to meet hers. 

She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Luckily, Cerridwen came to her rescue. “Azriel,” she said, and Elain thought that it was a fitting name for him. He wouldn’t be called David or John or Eric. It would have been too mundane. The handsome stranger was definitely an Azriel. “This is Elain,” Cerridwen continued. “She owns the shop next door. She brought us these flowers. Aren’t they beautiful?”

Azriel quickly glanced at the flowers and then his intense gaze was back on Elain. “Yes. Beautiful.” His voice was like honey and velvet. Sweet and dark and intense. 

“Thank you,” Elain answered, and it came out as barely a whisper. 

They stood like that, looking at each other for way too long. Behind them, Cerridwen cleared her throat and the moment disappeared. Elain felt utterly foolish. 

“Well, I–” she started, “ I should get back.” She took a few steps backwards. “It was lovely to meet you,” she continued, her eyes on Cerridwen. She didn’t dare look at Azriel again. 

“It was lovely meeting you, Elain,” Cerridwen said, a small smirk on her lips. 

Elain turned around and hurried out through the door. She thought she heard Azriel say something but she didn’t catch the words as the door closed behind her. 

When she entered her own shop she had to sit down on the stool behind the register. She let out a breath and tried to think about anything but how awkward she had been. It didn’t really work. 

Of course her handsome, mysterious stranger was a tattoo artist. Wasn’t that fitting? In her fantasies she had made him into an accountant or a shoe salesman; anything to make him a bit more boring. But no, he had to be a freaking tattoo artist. 

And he just had to open his tattoo parlor next to her shop. What are the odds?

If she had believed in fate or astrology or all that nonsense, Elain might have thought that this was destined to be. Two people brought together like this, maybe it meant something? But as it were, Elain did not believe in those kinds of things. This was just a coincidence. And he had probably not recognized her anyway. A man like him must meet new women all the time. She was definitely not special enough to be remembered months later. Especially not since she had been crying when they last met. It was probably for the best that he didn’t remember her. If he didn’t, she could make a better first impression. Or second, since the meeting just minutes ago had been even more awkward than their first meeting in that club all those months ago. 

Elain buried her face in her palms. God, she hoped he didn’t remember her.

_____________________________________

If you like my work, please let me know! I love hearing your feedback :)

#elriel fanfiction #elriel #elriel fanfic #elain x azriel #dottielovegoodfanfiction

[dottielovegood]

Teaser for the next chapter of Bloom? No pressure but I’m really excited lol

I know that you sent this ask before I posted chapter 3 but I forgot to post a teaser to that chapter.

So here's a teaser for chapter 4 instead! ----

She glanced at the cookies on the counter and an idea entered her mind. If you asked her, she would probably blame the coffee or the lack of sleep for what she was about to do. But the cookies reminded her of all the other things she had baked. It was simply impossible for her to eat all of that by herself. And wouldn’t it be a pity to let it all go to waste?

Since the shop was so quiet, Elain decided to hang the “I’ll be back soon” sign on the door and run up to her apartment to grab one container of chocolate chip cookies and a few slices of the lemon drizzle cake. Before she could change her mind, she hurried out of her apartment. The rain had turned into a light drizzle by now and Elain walked past her own shop and didn’t stop until she reached the entrance of Shadowsinger Tattoos. She bit her bottom lip, suddenly nervous. Was this a weird thing to do? Did he even eat sugary treats?And what if he was diabetic or allergic to gluten?

She hesitated outside the door, contemplating if she should just go back to her shop and eat it all by herself when movement and something red caught her eye. Elain peered in through the window, carefully placing herself so that the people inside wouldn’t see her. 

Her heart was beating in her chest, as if she was afraid to be caught spying on someone. Which was ridiculous. She wasn’t spying. She was simply waiting for an appropriate time to give her neighbor some cakes. She was definitely not…

Her heart skipped a beat when she saw Azriel. He was standing in the middle of the room, looking as handsome as ever. But the thing that made Elain’s breath catch was the woman beside him. She was, to put it frankly, breathtakingly gorgeous. Her long blonde hair reached her waist and the red shirt she was wearing was hugging her curves just right. Even though Elain wasn’t attracted to women, she had to admit that this might be the most beautiful person she had ever seen. She could be a model, Elain thought as she looked down. Looked at her sensible shoes and her boring blue jeans. She had forgotten to take off her apron. It was full of stains.

Elan glanced through the window again and the woman was now holding onto Azriel’s arm, peering up at him through her lashes, a small pout on her lips. 

He had a girlfriend. 

Azriel had a beautiful girlfriend and Elain was standing in the rain, hugging two containers of cake and cookies that nobody had asked her to bring. She felt like a fool. An utter fool. 

Of course he had a girlfriend. He was handsome, funny and interesting. Most women would probably line up for just a chance to date him. And she had thought…

#elriel #elriel fanfic teaser #dottielovegoodfanfiction

[dottielovegood]

IKEA (elriel)

About this fic: Elain and Azriel go to IKEA. And then they eat semlor. Words: 8850 Content warnings: none

So, I’ve been in a writing slump for a while but then I just sat down and wrote this in a day. This is basically just Elain and Azriel going to IKEA and Azriel teaching Elain about the concept of fika (a very important Swedish tradition). This might be a one shot, but there might also be another chapter in the future if I feel like returning to this fic. Honestly, I’m just happy that I wrote something, even though it’s kind of slow paced and mostly just banter and yearning. Also, I didn't feel like editing this so if you find any mistakes, try to ignore them.

-------------------------

Azriel was sitting in his car, hands tightly gripping the steering wheel and forehead leaning against the back of his hands. He blew out a long breath. This wasn’t his usual reaction to going to IKEA. Granted, he had never been particularly fond of the place, but this time was different. This time, he was going there with Elain. 

Elain, the girl he had secretly had a crush on for years. 

Elain, the girl who, apparently, had broken up with her asshole ex-boyfriend since he last saw her. 

They almost never hung out together. They had known each other for years, but Azriel had always made sure that they didn’t get too close. And now here he was, about to pick her up and take her to IKEA. He wasn’t even sure how this had happened. 

Well, actually, that was a lie. 

It had happened because of his stupid friends meddling in his life. As usual. 

After living on the other side of the country for two years, Azriel had decided to move back to Velaris. He told his friends that he was moving back because he was offered a great job here, but that was only half of the truth. The main reason for wanting to move back was that he had felt lonely. Azriel wasn’t exactly friendly and talkative. Making friends had always been difficult for him, and even more so as an adult. Sure, he had met some colleagues that he hung out with sometimes, but most of them had their own lives and families and Azriel often felt like the fifth wheel when they spent time together. 

Most of the people he met outside of work were girls that he casually hooked up with. Somehow, it felt easier for Azriel to find someone to spend the night with than to form any sort of friendship with people. Maybe because he knew exactly what was expected of him when it came to dating and fucking. It had always been easy for him. Yet, he always made sure that the girls knew that he wasn’t looking for anything serious. He never slept with the same woman twice because if he did, she would think that he wanted more and that would only complicate things. 

His friends often asked him why he never dated anyone. In almost all the years they had known each other, Azriel had never had a long term relationship, unless you count one girlfriend in High School. Azriel didn’t mind, but his friends seemed to think that it was weird. 

Every time anyone made a comment about Azriel being the eternal single, he just shrugged. He didn’t want to be in a relationship just because he was lonely. If he was going to be with someone, she had to be very special. And she had to be able to stand to be around him for more than a few hours. 

Azriel was pretty certain that he had met the person he could see himself build a life with. Unfortunately for him, another man had met her first. So Azriel would stay single. Not that he minded. He was used to being alone. And now that he was moving back to Velaris, he wouldn’t be alone. Not really. He had his friends there, and his mother only lived an hour away. It would be fine. Just fine. 

He just needed to survive the two weeks that he had to stay with Cassian while his own place was being renovated, and then he would have his normal life back and everything would be fine. 

The two weeks went by quickly. Azriel spent most of his time at work and only came back to Cassian’s place to crash. The last weekend before Azriel could move into his own place, Cassian announced that they were going to Rhys and Feyre’s place for dinner. 

“Who’s going to be there?” Azriel asked while buttoning his shirt. He had tried to sound casual, as if he didn’t actually care about the guest list. 

“Oh, you know, the usual. You, me, Rhys, Feyre, Nesta” Cassian paused, “I think Elain will be there, and so will Mor. Amren couldn’t make it because she is traveling with Varian.”

Azriel didn’t hear a single word after Cassian had said her name. Elain. 

Elain was going to be there. 

He hadn’t seen her since Christmas. Azriel thought back to Christmas and how sad she had seemed. Sure, she had smiled and laughed along with the rest of them, but the happiness and holiday cheer never reached her eyes. Graysen had been by her side all night, which meant that Azriel hadn’t been able to ask her what was wrong. Not that he would have even if she had been alone. It was none of his business, and it was easier to just stay away. She had a boyfriend and that was that. But if he found out that Graysen had hurt her in any way…

“Az!” Cassian’s voice brought him back to reality.

“Yeah?”

Cassian regarded him for a moment before saying, “I was asking if you could drive tonight?”

Azriel nodded quickly, “Sure.” He sounded way too happy, and Cassian was now looking at him suspiciously. 

“What’s going on with you?” he asked. 

“Nothing, I was just…thinking about work,” Azriel lied. 

“Mhm, sure. Work…” Cassian said under his breath as he disappeared into the bathroom. 

Feyre greeted him with a warm hug as soon as he stepped through the door. 

“That’s it. I forbid you from ever leaving Velaris again,” she said and hugged him tighter, which was a bit difficult since her stomach was so big now. The last time he had seen her, he had barely been able to tell that she was pregnant. But now, she was glowing. And she was also quite big. Not that he would ever tell her that. 

“I can’t make any promises,” Azriel chuckled. 

It felt good that his friends had missed him. Sometimes, he imagined that they just lived their lives and never thought about him, but every time he returned home, he was reminded that he was as important to them as they were to him. 

In the kitchen, Cassian had found Nesta and was deep in conversation with her. Or, maybe it couldn’t be called a conversation when Cassian was talking and Nesta mainly answered by rolling her eyes. Azriel never understood Cassian’s interest in Nesta. Most of the time, they seemed to hate each other, but still, Cassian wouldn’t give up. 

Not that Azriel was one to talk. Even though Nesta and Cassian seemed to hate each other, they were both single. They could actually be together if that hate could somehow turn into love. But the crush he had on Elain would forever be one-sided and unrequited. 

Azriel sighed and went to the refrigerator to grab a beer. 

There was a knock on the door and without waiting for anyone to open it, Elain walked in. Azriel tried his hardest not to stare, but it was difficult when she was just so goddamn beautiful. She was wearing a dusky pink dress that reached her knees and white sneakers. Her hair was a bit shorter and the spring sun had made her freckles come out. She was breathtaking, Azriel thought to himself. But he was definitely not starting. 

She was holding a giant bouquet of flowers and the smile she gave Feyre when she greeted her at the door was like sunshine and rainbows and every other silly, happy thing Azriel could think of. 

Azriel held his breath while waiting for Graysen to walk through the door behind Elain, but he didn’t. When the door closed behind Elain, Feyre walked into the kitchen, carrying the flowers Elain had brought. She walked up to Azriel and whispered, “They broke up,” as if she had been able to read his mind. Not that he would have been particularly surprised if she could. There was something about those Archeron sisters….

Azriel made sure that his face showed no trace of emotion but on the inside, his heart was doing somersaults. 

A while later, when they were all seated around the table, Azriel asked Cassian if he could go with him to IKEA on Monday. Azriel obviously needed to pick up a few things for the new place since he hadn’t been able to bring any of his furniture with him when he moved.

Cassian burst out laughing and didn’t stop until he noticed that Azriel wasn't laughing with him. 

“Oh, shit. You’re serious?” Cassian asked. 

“Yeah, why would I joke about going to IKEA?”

Cassian shrugged, “I just thought you knew me better than that. I hate that fucking place.”

“I think most people hate IKEA, Cassian. But I thought my friend might want to go with me and share the misery. You know, misery loves company and all that.”

Cassian grinned and leaned back in his chair. “Nah, you can suffer on your own. Think of it as punishment for moving away for two years.”

“I was promoted…” Az started to protest but Cassian interrupted him. 

“Yeah, I’m still not going with you to that Swedish hell-hole.”

Azriel opened his mouth to reply, but from the other end of the table, someone said, “IKEA is not a hell-hole.”

Not someone. Elain. “I love IKEA,” she continued, a modest smile playing on her lips. 

Azriel could do nothing but stare. She was so beautiful, especially when she smiled. He knew he should say something. Anything, really. But he just looked at her and her smiling face. What could he say? I’m glad you like IKEA seemed like maybe the most stupid response he could give her, yet that was the only sentence in his mind right now. 

Thankfully, Cassian started talking and saved Azriel from his own awkwardness. 

“Great, then maybe you can go with Azriel, Elain?” 

On second thought, maybe he should just murder Cassian?

“I’m sure she had better things to do than go with me to get furniture,” Azriel said and threw Cassian an icy glare, to which Cassian seemed completely oblivious. 

A faint blush spread across Elain’s cheeks. “I don’t have anything better to do. My shop is closed on Mondays and I would never say no to a trip to IKEA.”

“Oh, well then. I guess, well,” Azriel stammered and he felt himself grow hot. God, he was making a fool of himself. Elain averted her gaze and looked down at her plate.

Someone kicked Azriel under the table and he had to bite back a groan. He looked up and met Feyre’s fierce stare. Swallowing, he looked back at Elain who was still blushing. “Well, if you’re sure you don’t have anything better to do I would really appreciate your company,” Azriel said and even as the words left his mouth, he wanted to take them back and come up with something better to say. But then Elain looked up and met his gaze and every single thought in his head vanished. “We should go early to avoid the worst crowds,” she said. 

And that’s how Azriel found himself here, outside Elain’s apartment building. He had told her that he would pick her up at 9.30 so they could make it to the store just when it opened. It was now 9.24 and Azriel had started to tap the steering wheel with his fingers just to have something to focus on while he waited. The minutes seemed to go by in slow motion and Azriel asked himself for the hundredth time that morning if this was a good idea. They had never spent much time alone together and he had no idea what to talk to her about. Sure, it had never been difficult to talk to her before, but they had always been surrounded by people then. Now, they would spend hours together, just the two of them. What if he couldn’t come up with anything to say? What if there would be hours of awkward silence?

Maybe he should have looked up conversation topics online?

Just as he reached for his phone to do just that, a door opened and Elain stepped out in the sunshine. Azriel froze as he took her in. She was wearing a light blue skirt with a white floral pattern that reached her mid thigh and a matching light blue cardigan. Her hair was up in a messy ponytail, showing off her slender neck. Once again, Azriel squeezed the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. She crossed the street quickly and waved at him as she walked up to his car. 

Azriel shook himself and remembered his manners. He got out of the car quickly and opened the door on the passenger side. Elain gave him a big smile. “Good morning,” she greeted him.

“Good morning, Elain.” 

Instinctively, he wanted to tell her that she looked lovely, but that’s not what friends did. And that’s what they were, right? Friends? Just two friends going to IKEA. 

Elain stepped into the car and Azriel closed the door behind her. He blew out a long breath before going back to his side of the car. 

“So, are you ready to go to the greatest place on earth?” Elain asked, her voice full of excitement. 

Azriel chuckled, “I didn’t know we were going to Disneyland?”

She hit his arm playfully. “Something tells me that you would probably enjoy Disneyland even less than IKEA.”

She wasn’t wrong. He had only been there once, and all the people and queues and smells had made his head ache. At least IKEA only smelled of furniture and meatballs. 

Azriel started the car. “So, it should take us approximately 30 minutes to get there.”

Elain nodded. “I know. I think I went to IKEA every Sunday for like a month when I moved into my apartment,” she said. 

Azriel wanted to ask if she meant this apartment and if this was a different apartment than the one she had lived in with her ex, but he refrained. It was none of his business.

Instead, he asked, “Every week? You must really love that place.”

Elain laughed, and the sound was like music to Azriel’s ears. “Sure, I like it. But I just needed so many things that I had to make multiple trips. I also had a difficult time deciding on what to get. It’s hard moving by yourself when you’re so used to sharing a space with someone else. You kind of forget what you like and have to re-discover your own taste.”

And there was his answer. 

“So, you live alone now?” he asked, pretending as if Feyre hadn’t told him about the breakup. 

“Yes. I broke up with Graysen a few months ago.” 

“I’m sorry,” Azriel said, even though he wasn't. He just didn’t know what the appropriate thing to say was, but he was pretty certain I’m happy that I never have to see that douchebag again wasn’t it. 

Elain turned to him slightly in her seat. “Why? I’m not. We had grown apart.”

“Oh. Okay. In that case, I’m happy for you.”

Very, very happy, indeed. 

“Thank you,” Elain looked down and played with the hem of his skirt. Azriel was happy that he was driving or else he would have stared at those hands and that skirt and those thighs and…

“So, what do you need at IKEA?” Elain asked, clearly ready for them to change the subject. 

Azriel slowed the car as he reached a red light and looked at her. “Everything,” he answered. 

“Everything? Didn’t you bring anything with you when you moved?”

Azriel shook his head. “No. The place I rented came fully furnished. I wasn’t allowed to take anything with me.” He paused, and then continued as the light turned green. “I do have a dining table and a bed, but I probably need everything else.”

Elain bent down and reached for the purse she had put on the floor of the car. She pulled out her phone and tapped it a few times. “So, a couch, chairs for the table, a coffee table, bedside tables, if you want any that is,” she said and continued tapping. “Do you need a bookshelf?”

“Uh, I guess?” 

“You guess?”

“Yes?”

“Do you own books, Azriel?”

Azriel smiled at her. “Of course.” He loved reading. Even though he mostly used his e-reader, he did have quite a few books. 

“Okay, so you need a bookshelf.”

“I guess I do.”

Elain bit her lip as if to hide a smile. 

“What’s so funny?” Azriel asked. His eyes were focused on the road, but from the corner of his eye he could see Elain’s cheeks turn pink. 

“Oh, I was just reminded of this quote I read once. It’s silly, really.”

“Well, now you have piqued my interest. What is this silly quote about bookshelves?”

“It’s nothing. Forget I said anything.” 

Azriel dared a glance at her, and her cheeks were a bit redder now. It was adorable. Now he really needed to know what she was thinking about. “We have 20 minutes left of this car ride, please indulge me.”

“Okay,” she took a deep breath. “The quote goes ‘if you ever go home with someone and they don’t have books, don’t sleep with them’, but I forgot who said it.” 

Azriel couldn’t stop the grin from spreading on his face. “Sounds like a good rule to live by,” he said. He didn’t comment further on the quote since he didn’t want to embarrass her, but he was genuinely surprised that Elain knew a quote like that by heart, and that he had reminded her of it. 

“I think so too,” she said quietly. 

A few minutes passed without any of them saying anything and Azriel cursed himself for pushing her. Had he ruined everything now?

But then Elain spoke again. “So, do you need smaller things too? Like towels and pots and pans?”

“Yes. To all of the above. And I really need plates and utensils. And coffee cups.”

Elain beamed at him. “Okay, great!” she tapped on her phone again. 

“What are you writing on your phone?” Azriel asked. 

“A list. So we don’t miss anything.”

Azriel smiled, “You’re very organized. I guess it’s a good thing I brought you instead of Cassian. He would just have spent all day complaining and we would probably have left without half the things I need.”

Elain laughed softly. “Well, you are very lucky because I am an IKEA expert. Trust me, you’re in safe hands”.

Azriel didn’t doubt that for a second. 

They arrived just a few minutes after ten but the store was already full of people. They took the escalator up to the second floor since Elain had insisted that they should start by looking at furniture. There was a family in front of them and their child was already crying his heart out. 

“Is that what you feel like on the inside when you go to IKEA?” Elain whispered in his ear and gestured to the child. Her shoulder was pressed against Azriel’s arm and her hot breath on his neck sent shivers down his spine. For a second, his brain stopped working. 

“Uh, no. I can’t say I love this place as much as you do, but it’s not that bad,” he answered. “Although, the kid does remind me of Cassian when you force him to do something he doesn’t want to do.”

Elain giggled and straightened again. “I guess Cassian feels like that quite often when he’s around my sister.”

So Elain had noticed the way Cassian looked at Nesta, too. Cassian thought that he was so smooth, but clearly, everyone saw the longing glances they gave each other when they didn’t think anyone was watching. 

They followed the fixed path of the store that took them through the different areas. They walked through the little fake living rooms and looked at different couches. 

“So, what kind of couch are you looking for?” Elain asked him and sat down on a hideous couch with a vulgar floral pattern. 

Azriel pointed at it, “anything but that.” 

Elain put her hand to her heart and gasped, “You don’t like this?” she patted the soft cushion. “It’s my favorite.”

Azriel panicked. Had he offended her? He really did hate the couch and he would have never guessed that she liked it. Sure, she liked flowers and gardening, but Azriel had always thought that she had good taste. 

“I..uh, I mean, it’s not my style and..”

Elain laughed, “Calm down. I’m just kidding. It’s awful. But it’s quite comfortable,” she patted the seat next to her. “Come sit.”

Azriel let out a breath and joined her. It was way too soft for him and his weight shifted the cushions underneath them, making Elain lean toward him again. Azriel tried to think of anything but her proximity. 

“So, is there a certain color you like?” 

Azriel shook his head, “Not really. But I’d rather not have anything super colorful.”

“No flowers and no color. Got it.” She stood up and started to walk away, leaving Azriel sitting all alone on the ugly couch. He could still feel the warmth of her body against his arm. Elain looked at him over her shoulder. “Are you coming? We are going to try every single gray and black couch in this place.”

Azriel stood up. “Every single one?”

Elain nodded enthusiastically. “Yes. Every single one until you find one you like.”

And that’s just what they did. He let Elain lead the way and she reminded him of Goldilocks everytime she commented on a couch. Too soft. Too firm. Too big. Too small. Too ugly. Too pricey. Azriel agreed with her on everything. She was, after all, the IKEA expert. 

When Elain sank down on the ninth couch, she smiled. “This one is quite nice.”

Azriel sat down next to her and…yes. It was nice. Firm, but not uncomfortably so. Big enough to lay down on. An image of Elain laying down on the couch flashed through his mind. He tried to blink it away, but instead his mind conjured up another image where he was hovering over her, his lips just…

Azriel shook his head. “You don’t like it?” Elain asked. 

“What?”

Elain looked at him with her big doe eyes. God she was pretty, and he was fucking disturbed. She had recently broken up with that asshat and now he was imagining doing… things to her. Fuck. This was going to be a long day. 

Azriel gathered his composure and tried to smile at her. “It’s nice. Definitely better than the last one.”

“So, is this the winner?”

Azriel looked at the other couches they had tried and this one was definitely both more comfortable and better looking. “Yeah. This will do.”

Elain scrunched up her face. “This will do?” she mimicked. “That’s not good enough, Azriel. You are going to have this couch for a long time. You should find something you really like.”

Azriel raised his eyebrows, the corner of his mouth curling up in a small smile. “Elain, this is the best couch I have ever seen. My ass has never been happier to sit on something and the color reminds me of tarmac, which is great because I love roads. Is that better?”

Elain laughed, “Your ass has never been happier? Well then I guess you have to buy it.”

“I guess so.”

They made their way through the store. It took them at least two more hours to pick out a coffee table, chairs for the dining table, a desk and bedside tables. Elain was checking the items of her list as they went and took photos of all the notes attached to the furniture so they knew where to find everything later. She really had it all down to a science. 

Elain reached for a note attached to a chair and took a photo. She looked at the note for a few seconds before saying, “I have always wondered why the furniture has such weird names. I mean, what does even Bjurån mean?” 

Azriel couldn’t help but smile at the way Elain had tried to pronounce the Swedish word. 

“I’m pretty sure that quite a lot of the things are named after places in Sweden. And if I’m not mistaken, Bjurån is a river or a creek or something.”

Elain raised her eyebrows in surprise. “How do you know that?”

“Well, å in Swedish means river, I think. So Bjurån should translate to something like The Bjur river.”

Elain stared at him. “You know Swedish?”

“Yes. But I’m not as fluent as I was a few years ago.”

“And why do you know Swedish? Do you have relatives there?”

Azriel shook his head and scratched his neck. He wasn’t used to talking about himself. “Well, I studied abroad for a year when I was nineteen, and I chose to go to Sweden.”

“Why Sweden? Isn’t it like…really cold?”

Azriel smiled at Elain, “Yes, it’s very cold and dark for like six months of the year, but I didn’t mind. I just wanted to go somewhere far away, and Sweden was one of the options. I didn’t really think much about it.”

Elain returned his smile and started to walk again. “I didn’t know that you had studied abroad. You never talk about it.”

Azriel shrugged. “I don’t like talking about myself. I’m not really that interested.”

“Hey, don’t sell yourself short. I think you’re interesting,” Elain said and shoved him playfully with her shoulder. 

Azriel turned away from her to hide the blush that was spreading across his cheeks. Never in his life had he been called interesting. At least not in a positive way. 

“Thank you,” he murmured. 

As if Elain could feel his uncomfortable energy, she quickly pointed at one of the nametags on a table. “What does that mean?”

Azriel read the note quickly and said, “Danderyd is a part of Stockholm. From what I’ve heard, it’s like the rich part of town.”

“Huh, I always imagined that the names had some sort of deeper meaning. It’s kind of disappointing that they’re just named after places.”

“Sorry to disappoint,” Azriel chuckled. 

Elain looked up at him with a serious expression, “You never disappoint me, Azriel.”

Something warm was growing in his chest, just next to his heart.

They continued their journey, making small talk and casually joking with each other. Azriel realized that their conversation hadn’t been awkward at all. The conversation just flowed naturally which he wasn’t used to. Usually, he had to force himself to talk to people. He always had to really think in order to come up with new topics to discuss. But with Elain, it was just easy. And she didn’t bore him. Even when she talked about kitchen set ups, Azriel found her fascinating. 

He knew that he probably shouldn’t feel like that. She didn’t like him in that way so he should probably stop hanging on to her every word like some love sick fool. He hoped she couldn’t tell how much he liked her, and he really hoped that she couldn’t read his mind. 

Elain walked in front of him and made her way over to one of the “kitchens”

“I like this one!,” she said and leaned her hip against the counter top. “When I don’t live in a rental anymore, I want my kitchen to look like this.”

Azriel knew that he should be looking at the kitchen but all he could see was Elain. If anyone had asked him, he would probably not even be able to tell them what color the cabinets had been. God, he had it bad. 

He was fucking pathetic. 

Elain turned around and grabbed a bowl that had been placed next to the sink as a prop. “The counter is a really good height,” she declared and gave him a cheeky smile over her shoulder. 

Azriel stared at her. “A good height for what?” he blurted out before he could stop himself. He wanted to take back the words as soon as he said them but the image of Elain bent over that counter had him flustered and unable to speak. 

Elain changed her expression into one of pure innocence. “For baking of course. What did you think I meant?”

Azriel only mumbled something incoherent in response. He was pretty certain that she was teasing him but he couldn’t understand why. 

After way too many hours and way too little caffeine, they sat down in the dining area for lunch. Azriel told Elain to pick anything she wanted and she chose the most Swedish alternatives on the menu; meatballs with potatoes and a cinnamon bun for dessert. Azriel got the same. And coffee. 

“Did you know that Sweden has a day when they celebrate cinnamon buns?” Azriel asked Elain when she had just taken her first bite of the warm pastry. She shook her head and chewed quickly. 

“No, I did not. Do they really?”

“Yes,” Azriel thought back to his time in Sweden and how seriously the Swedes were about their baked goods. “They actually celebrate quite a few deserts. They have one day for cinnamon buns, one day for mudcake, one day for waffles, and one day for something called semla.”

Elain gaped at him. “Are you serious or are you just trying to fool me?”

Azriel fixed her with a serious look, “I would never joke about fika.”

“About what?” Elain laughed. 

“Fika. It’s like religion in Sweden. They’re not much for organized religion, but damn you if you interrupt their fika.”

“What on earth is fika?”

“Fika is basically when you take a break during the day and sit down with a cup of coffee and something sweet to eat.”

“And all Swedes do this?” She still looked at him as if he was lying. 

“Yeah, most of them do. You even get fika-breaks at work sometimes. It’s great.”

Elain finished her cinnamon bun and gave Azriel a big smile, “I think I might be a very big fan of this fika religion you’re talking about. Where do I sign up?” 

Azriel chuckled and gestured to her empty plate, “If you like that, wait until you try a semla.”

“Okay, that sounds made up. Now you are just…”

“No,” Azriel interrupted her and reached for his phone. “I promise, it’s a thing. It’s like a sweet wheat bun that is filled with almond paste and whipped cream. Here,” Azriel did a quick google image search, “this is a semla.”

Elain looked at the picture and then back at Azriel. “I need to eat one of these.” She was dead serious, which Azriel found adorable. “I’m serious Azriel. My new life goal is to eat a… what did you say they were called?”

“Semla.”

Azriel knew that Elain enjoyed baking, but he had never imagined that she was this into baked goods. Maybe he had met someone that could match his sweet tooth? He would gladly buy her all the semlor in the world if he only knew where to get any on this side of the Atlantic ocean. 

“Can you say something else in Swedish?” Elain asked when Azriel had finished his coffee. He looked at her and took in all of her beauty. The golden hair, the brown eyes, the freckles and that smile he couldn’t get enough of and said the first thing that came to him. 

“Du är så otroligt vacker.”

Elain watched him patiently, but when he didn’t speak, she asked, “and what does it mean?”

Azriel gathered their plates and cups just to have something to do with his hand. And to hide the blush on his face. He couldn’t tell her what it meant. Not now. 

“Maybe I’ll tell you later.”

Thankfully, Elain accepted that. 

Their easy banter continued for the rest of the day. Elain asked Azriel to translate the names of at least twenty items and was disappointed by most of the translations. The only one she actually liked was that “gosa”, which was the name of a pillow, meant “cuddle.”

Azriel didn’t look at the time once, but when they made their way to the registers, it was already afternoon. Azriel made sure that he could get the bigger pieces of furniture delivered and then they made their way to the car with all of the paper bags full of smaller things. 

“Can we listen to Swedish music?” Elain asked Azriel when they started driving back to the city. 

“Like ABBA?”

Elain shook her head, “Though I do love Mamma Mia, I was thinking if maybe you know of some songs I haven’t heard before. I think I have a new appreciation for the language.”

Azriel plugged in his phone to the stereo and found his Swedish playlist on Spotify. He handed the phone to Elain. 

“Pick anything.”

“I have no idea what any of these words mean,” she said and scrolled through the list. After a while, she just picked the song at the top. 

Jag kommer by Veronica Maggio started playing.

“Interesting choice,” Azriel said, smirking.

“What? What is the song about?”

“The title translates to I’m coming.”

Elain blushed. “Oh.” She cleared her throat. “In like a normal way or a more, you know, sexual way.” She whispered the last words. 

Azriel smiled but kept his gaze on the road ahead of them. “I guess it can mean both. But if you translate the chorus, it’s ‘I’m coming, I’m coming, I’m coming, I’m almost there.’”

“Oh,” Elain said again and stared straight ahead. She was still blushing. 

In a desperate attempt to lighten the mood, Azriel asked Elain if she wanted him to drop her off at her apartment. 

Elain turned toward him slightly. Azriel dared a glance at her and noticed that her skirt had ridden up a bit. Her thighs looked so soft. Azriel had to bite his tongue just to get his mind out of the gutter. 

“Oh, I was thinking…Well, don’t you need someone to help you carry all of the things to your place?”

“I’ll manage.”

Elain seemed to consider what to say next for a few moments. “I would like to help, if you'll let me. I understand if you want to be alone, I know that I can be a bit much. Graysen always said that he needed time alone after spending the day with me. Apparently, I talk alot.”

The sadness in her voice made Azriel’s heart ache. Had that asshat actually said that? Luckily for Stupid McIdiot, Azriel didn’t know his address. 

“Elain, that’s not it. I…I like spending time with you. But you don’t have to…”

“I want to,” Elain said quickly. “I spend most of my time at home anyway. I could need the company.”

Did she feel lonely too, Azriel wondered. She had always seemed like a ray of sunshine, but maybe that was just a facade? Azriel knew that she didn’t have many friends, though he couldn’t understand why. They were both introverts, but where he was the sulking, brooding type, Elain was just kindness and grace incarnate. Who wouldn’t like spending time with her?

“Well, I could need some emotional support if I’m going to build all of these things. It usually only takes thirty minutes of building IKEA furniture before I’m cursing like a sailor. You have been warned.”

With a warm smile, Elain said, “I don’t mind. I cursed and threw the screwdriver at the wall when I tried to assemble my bed frame. It made a dent in the wall,” she lowered her voice, “but don’t tell anyone that.”

“Your secret is safe with me.”

They listened to a few more songs, everything från Håkan Hellström to Melissa Horn, whom Elain seemed to like. A few minutes before they reached Azriel’s apartment building, Elain asked if Azriel had anything to eat at home. Azriel thought about his empty fridge and shook his head.

“Well, we should pick something up. We will need the energy.”

“Sounds good. What do you want?”

With a big grin on her face, Elain said, “Semla.”

Azriel laughed. “Yeah, that’s one of the few things we can’t get since nobody makes them here.”

“Do you have a recipe?”

“I could probably find one. Why?”

“If you build the furniture, I can try out your new bowls and make us this Swedish delicacy.”

How could Azriel say no to that tempting offer?

It took them five trips to get everything from Azriel’s car to his apartment. Azriel had never been happier about the fact that the building had an elevator. He checked his watch and noted that the IKEA delivery with his couch and a few other things would arrive in two hours.

He gave Elain the tour, which didn’t take long since it was a one bedroom apartment. The apartment was pretty much a blank canvas with white walls and dark, wooden floors. Elain seemed to like the place, and she especially seemed to like the view. He was on the eleventh floor which gave him a pretty spectacular view over Velaris. 

Elain seemed right at home actually, and without a word she started unpacking everything she needed for baking. She washed the bowls and spoons and a few plates before she lined up the ingredients on the counter in front of her. She had rolled up the sleeves of her cardigan and kicked off her shoes, ready to get to work. 

Azriel had found a recipe and put his laptop next to the stove. Elain read it carefully and Azriel realized that he was staring. He cleared his throat and she spun around to face him. 

“This will take a while since the buns have to rise for more than an hour, but other than that, it seems pretty straight forward.”

“Good. I guess I’ll build some chairs then so we have somewhere to sit when we eat.”

In the living room, Azriel unpacked one of the chairs and got to work. He was happy that Elain had offered to bake instead of helping him with the furniture. Even though he hated to follow those stupid instructions, it was even harder to do so when you did it together with someone. Rhys once told him that if anyone wanted to test their relationship, they should build IKEA furniture together. Apparently, building a crib with your pregnant wife wasn’t the easiest task in the world. 

When Azriel had finished all four chairs and placed them around the table, he just stood there in the middle of his living room and listened to Elain in the kitchen. She was humming one of the songs they had listened to in the car. Azriel recognized the distinct melody of “Kärleken väntar” by Kent. 

Love is waiting, Azriel translated in his head. Oh, how he wished that that was true. Love didn’t seem to wait for him at all. 

Azriel had just started to build the bedside tables when Elain walked into the room. 

“The dough has to rest for an hour,” she announced and sat down next to Azriel. “Can I build the other table?”

“You don’t have to…”

She sighed. “I know I don’t have to, Azriel. But I want to. Why is it so difficult for you to accept help?”

No one had ever asked him that before. Thruth was, he had always been the person who would help others but he never asked anyone else to be there for him. He managed just fine on his own. As a child, when he had lived with his drunk dad and his new family for a while, he had learned to not ask for things. If you asked for anything, even if it was for some help to reach the cereal on the top shelf, you would come to regret it. So he learned early on to just figure things out on his own. But here Elain was, looking at him with those eyes that seemed to be able to look right through him and offering him help. Not only help, but she had offered him her time and energy too. It meant alot to Azriel, though he didn’t know how to tell her that without sounding silly. So he decided to just accept the help and leave it at that. 

Azriel gestured to the flat, unopened package. “Have at it.”

They both worked in silence for a while, carefully concentrating on the instructions. And not once did Azriel feel like swearing. 

“I like spending time with you,” Elain said suddenly. The words caught Azriel off guard. 

“I– I like spending time with you too, Elain.”

“You are very easy to talk to,” she continued. “But it’s also easy to be quiet with you. I appreciate that.” She wasn’t looking at him, but there was a gentle smile on her lips. 

“You’re probably the first person in the world that has told me that I’m easy to talk to,” Azriel chuckled. “Usually people think that I should talk more.”

Elain picked up a screw and inserted it in one of the holes. “Nonsense. You’re perfectly you.”

She said it so casually. Azriel wondered if she understood the meaning those words held for him. The warmth that had been spreading in his chest during the day had reached his heart and he knew that he was totally fucked. 

When Elain had finished building the small table, she went back to the kitchen to finish baking. Azriel found comfort in the sounds emanating from his kitchen. The sound of the oven door closing. The sound of Elain grounding some almonds. The sound of his phone ringing. 

Shit, his phone. He had barely registered the sound. He fished it out of his pocket and answered. “yeah?”

“Hello, this is David from IKEA. We are outside with your things.”

Azriel had almost forgotten about the delivery. Quickly, he got off the floor and told Elain that he was just letting in the guys from IKEA. He had paid them extra in order for them to carry everything upstairs, which he was immensely happy about when they realized that the couch didn’t fit in the elevator. He didn’t want to have to call Cassian and ruin his time with Elain. He didn’t want Cassian to stay over and have fika with them. 

He wanted Elain’s fika all to himself. 

When Azriel closed the door Elain peeked out from the kitchen. 

“Perfect timing,” she said and hurried over to him. She had flour on her cheek and Azriel had to curl his hand into a fist to resist wiping it away with his fingers. 

“They’re done!” Elain walked around him until her chest was pressed against his back. Azriel was pretty sure that he stopped breathing. “What are you…” the words died on Azriel’s tongue when Elain stood up on her toes and reached up to cover his eyes. 

“No peeking until I tell you that you can look.”

“Have you ruined my kitchen? Is that why I can’t look?” Azriel joked. 

“No. Your kitchen is completely fine. I just want you to get the full effect.”

Chuckling, Azriel said, “I have seen a semla before, Elain”

“But you haven’t seen my semla,” Elain answered in a low tone. Azriel wished that he could see her face because if he wasn’t mistaken, she had sounded…flirty? No, that couldn’t be. 

“That sounded dirty,” Azriel muttered under his breath. 

Elain just laughed, which made him acutely aware of her breasts pressing against his back. 

Oh, shit. This was torture. 

Elain guided him into the kitchen. “Tadaa,” she said and stepped away from him. He instantly missed the heat of her body. 

“I hope I made them correctly.”

On the counter Elain had placed two semlor. They looked just as perfect as any semla he had eaten in Sweden. He smiled down at her. “There’s only one way to find out, but they do look wonderful.”

She beamed at him. “Thank you. You didn’t have a piping bag so the cream is a bit messy.”

Azriel reached for one of the buns and lifted the lid. “You should always eat the lid first, it’s the law.” 

“Is it the first law in this religion you call fika?” Elain mused. 

“Yes. And the second law is that the person who baked has to have the first taste.”

Elain narrowed her eyes, “Now you’re just lying.” 

He held out the second plate to Elain. “Humor me. I want to know if you like them.”

“Don’t lie. You just want to make sure that I didn’t poison them.”

Azriel threw back his head as he laughed. He couldn’t remember the last time anyone had made him laugh like that. “Yeah, there’s that too.”

Elain took the plate and picked up the lid. “I think I’ll be a rebel and save this for last,” she said with a wink. 

“Who knew you were such a bad girl?” 

“Oh, if you only knew, Azriel.”

He didn’t have time to react to her flirty response because Elain raised the pastry to her mouth and took a big bite. Her tongue came out to lick off some of the cream off her upper lip and Azriel stared at her, transfixed. She had some cream on her nose too and before Azriel could even register what he was doing, he had reached up and swiped the cream off with his index finger. And then he just stood there, staring at his finger. What now? Should he go find a towel to wipe it off, or…

He met Elain’s gaze, and she wasn’t smiling anymore. No, she was staring at his finger too and when she looked up and met his gaze, Azriel couldn’t breathe. He could have sworn that there was heat in her eyes and he was certain that he was looking at her with that same intensity. Without thinking, he started to guide his hand toward his mouth with every intention of licking the cream off, but Elain caught his wrist. 

“That’s mine,” she said, her voice low and full of something Azriel couldn’t wrap his head around. Elain stepped closer, still holding his gaze. Usually, he hid his hands around people. They were scarred and awful and absolutely not worthy enough to touch something as delicate as Elain. But Elain didn’t seem to mind them. Just as she hadn’t seemed to mind that when they first met a few years ago and she had called them beautiful. Azriel remembered it vividly, mostly because he was quite sure that he had fallen for Elain that very day. That was before he even knew that she had a boyfriend, and he had suffered since then. But this was far from suffering. 

Slowly, almost achingly so, Elain drew his hand closer. He wasn’t breathing anymore. He couldn’t. He just looked at Elain’s lips as they parted.

“Wha…” the rest of the word caught in Azriel’s throat as Elain’s tongue came out to lick the cream from his fingertip. 

Time stopped and the world fell away. They were the only people in the universe now and nothing could have made Azriel look away. 

“Elain, what are you doing?” His voice was husky and full with want. 

The corner of her mouth quirked up in a mischievous little grin. “Making the first move.”

And then she took another step. And another. In reality, it had only been a second but everything was happening in slow motion for some reason. Azriel looked at her as she wrapped her arms around his neck and stood up on her toes. He could feel the warmth of her breath on his lips. 

“Do you want this?” she asked, her voice barely more than a whisper. The words woke Azriel from wherever his mind had gone and brought him straight back to reality. Elain was standing in front of him, her breasts pressed against his chest. He could practically feel her heartbeat and for a second he wondered if he was dreaming, because this was just like a scene from one of the many dreams he had had about her. But she was real, and so was this. Azriel’s hands went to her waist, not only to make sure that she didn’t step away, but to hold himself steady too. 

“I’ve never wanted anything more.”

He leaned in and closed the remaining gap between us. The small gasp that escaped her lips was more erotic than any dirty talk Azriel had heard in the past. 

Elain’s lips were soft against his and she tasted of cream and sugar. She was the sweetest thing he had ever tasted. Elains fingers twisted in his hair and pulled him closer so she could deepen the kiss. A groan escaped Azriel when he felt her tongue lick his upper lip playfully. With a firm grip on her hips, Azriel walked her backwards until her back hit the kitchen counter. Without ever removing his lips from hers he lifted her up until she was sitting next to the forgotten plates and dirty dishes. Elain spread her legs so he could come even closer and Azriel took the opportunity to stroke her thighs. They were just as soft as he had imagined. 

He knew that he should stop. That this was wrong. 

He didn’t care. 

He placed one hand on her neck and stroked her jaw with his thumb. Elain let out a low moan that shook Azriel to his core. Elain was pressing herself even closer now, her hand tugging his hair as if desperate to get him as close as possible. He was hard and he knew that Elain could feel it. He should probably care. He should probably take a step back. But he couldn’t. Whatever kind of magic spell Elain had put him under, he was unable to break it. And he really didn’t want to. 

Yet, after what felt like both an eternity but also not long enough, they had to come up for air. 

“Fuck, Elain,” he groaned and trailed kisses down her neck which made Elain whimper. She placed her hands on his cheeks and forced him to stand up and look at her. Her cheeks were pink and her eyes were glazed over with lust. 

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” he murmured and caressed his cheeks with her thumbs. 

“I think I’ve wanted to do that since the day we met,” Azriel said.

Elain looked up at him, an expression on her face he couldn’t decipher. “Really?”

He nodded and scratched his neck. “Yeah, I might have had a crush on you for a while.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because you were unavailable,” Azriel answered truthfully and leaned his forehead against hers. 

“Good thing I’m available now, then.” He could hear the smile in her voice. 

“Good thing indeed.”

Without missing a beat, Azriel kissed her again. This time, the kiss was slow and gentle. Searching. Exploring. He kissed the corner of her mouth and her cheek. When he kissed that sensitive spot just below her ear, Elain let out a soft moan that went straight to his cock. 

“Azriel,” she whimpered when he reached her collar bone and he knew that he would do anything just to hear her say his name like that again and again and again. 

“Azriel, what was the thing you said to me earlier? When I asked you to say something in Swedish?” she asked, her voice breathy. 

Azriel had almost forgotten all about it and he had to really focus in order to remember exactly what he had said. With his lips still pressed to her skin, he murmured, “Du är så otroligt vacker.” He placed a soft kiss on the corner of her mouth again. “You are so incredibly beautiful.”

He could feel Elain smile against his lips. He never wanted this to end. 

Visst känns det som att kärleken väntar? 

One semla, many semlor

Translation: Visst känns det som att kärleken väntar = Doesn't it feel like love is waiting.

#elriel fanfiction #elriel #elriel fanfic #elain x azriel #elain archeron #dottielovegoodfanfiction

[dottielovegood]

The Bet (Elriel, NSFW)

Elriel Fanfiction

Just a silly little one-shot that I wrote today. It’s not edited and I just read it once before posting it. I just missed writing smut, so this is what I felt like writing today.

If you like it, let me know!

––––––––

Summary:

“I said, wanna bet?” Elain laughed, “Bet on what?” “On who can go the longest without having sex.”

This fic includes: A bet, a lot of teasing, gray sweatpants, horny thoughts, frustration and dirty talk.

------------------------------------------

Elain was making breakfast when Azriel snuck up behind her, wrapping his strong arms around her waist. Elain’s hair was up in a messy bun, which Azriel most definitely took advantage of when he let his lips kiss her just below her ear, and then travel down the side of her neck.

Azriel loved Elain’s neck. He loved kissing it and biting it and leaving little marks for her to find later. She loved it too, even though she complained about having to buy more turtlenecks and scarves to cover up his love bruises. But she didn’t mind. At the end of the day, she loved taking off her clothes to find evidence of his love on her body.

As Azriel let his tongue taste her sensitive skin, Elain chuckled, “What are you doing, Az?”

“Seducing you,” he murmured, his lips pressed just where her neck met her shoulders.

“I have to go to work,” she complained, but she didn’t push him away.

Azriel nibbled her earlobe lightly. “You can be late.”

Elain sighed, ”I really can’t. I have a big shipment coming in and I’m alone in the store today.”

Azriel’s hands traveled lower, massaging her hips. His lips never left her skin. It was making her crazy. He knew exactly how to turn her on, exactly which buttons to press to make her submit to him. And she wanted nothing more. They had sex just a few hours ago; when Elain woke up in the middle of the night to find Azriel’s erection pressing against her back. She had reached back and fisted him through his boxers until he woke up and gave her what she needed. And yet, here she was, already desperate to feel him again.

But she couldn’t. She really couldn’t.

She turned around and pulled away from him. There was heat in his eyes, and it made her even hotter, even wetter, to see the evidence of how much he wanted her written so plainly on his face. But he didn’t reach for her again. She had said no, and that was that.

He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her forehead, “Later then.”

Elain shook her head and let out a laugh. “I’m starting to think that it’s impossible for you to go without sex for even one day.”

Azriel raised his eyebrows, “Oh really? Who was it that woke up all needy in the middle of the night, huh? Who couldn’t go to sleep without feeling me inside her?”

The memories of their slow midnight lovemaking made her want to say fuck it, and take him to the bedroom. But with a quick glance at the clock that hung on the wall behind Azriel, she knew that she had to leave in a few minutes if she wanted to be on time for work.

She picked up her coffee mug and walked around the kitchen island. Away from him. She couldn’t think clearly when he was standing so close. They stood on opposite sides of the kitchen island now, Elain with her hands around her coffee mug and Azriel with his forearms leaning against the countertop. It made his biceps look even bigger.

Elain cursed the fact that her boyfriend preferred to walk around shirtless.

It was something she usually loved, but today, it was torture to see his perfectly sculpted body like that. Elain took a sip from her coffee and met his gaze, “I have way more self-control than you do,” she teased. “I could go weeks without sex.”

Azriel raised an eyebrow in challenge, “Wanna bet?”

“What?”

“I said, wanna bet?”

Elain laughed, “Bet on what?”

“On who can go the longest without having sex.”

Elain was still smiling. Her boyfriend had to be joking, right? They had sex every day, sometimes multiple times a day. He would definitely not be able to win this silly bet. But the serious look on Azriel’s face told her that he was serious. Dead serious.

“You will lose,” she said.

“I won’t.”

She regarded her boyfriend for a moment. He looked so confident, and she felt like teasing him. Just like he had teased her just moments ago.

“Okay then.”

“Okay, what?”

“Okay, let’s bet.”

He gave her a purely male grin. “Good girl,” he cooed, and she wanted to throw her cup at him. He wasn’t playing fair.

“That’s cheating. You can’t call me...that.”

Azriel chuckled. “Okay, that’s fair. So that’s your rule; no nicknames. My rule is that we will not touch ourselves.”

Elain shrugged. “Easy.”

“You say that now, Elain. But when it’s been five days and you’re feeling all desperate and needy, I think you will be singing a different tune.”

Elain snorted. “As if you can go without sex for five days.”

“Oh, I am very determined.” Azriel stood up to his full height, crossing his arms over his chest.

“So,” Elain began. “The first one to give in and ask for sex is the loser, right?”

Azriel nodded. “Yes.”

Elain reached a hand over the island, “You’re on.”

Azriel took her hand in his, and they shook on it. And at that moment, Elain had a wonderful idea. “The loser has to do the dishes for a month.”

“But you hate doing the dishes,” Azriel teased.

It was true. They had moved into their flat a few months ago and even though she loved their home, she hated the fact that it didn’t come with a dishwasher. Elain and Azriel had divided all of the chores 50/50, which meant that she had to do the dishes every other day. It would be amazing to get out of that for a whole month.

“Well, it doesn’t matter because I’m not going to lose,” Elain answered matter of factly.

As she walked to work, she felt very confident in herself. She also felt very confident in the fact that Azriel would give in before the day was over. He could never keep his hands off her, so it would just be a matter of hours before he decided that doing the dishes was way better than not having sex.

But there was one small thing that Elain had forgotten to take into consideration: Azriel was very competitive and to this day, he had never lost a bet.

He was not planning on losing this one either.

–––

When Elain came home that evening, she didn’t think much about their bet. They just went about their usual routine; they made dinner together, they ate dinner, they watched some TV, and then they went to bed. Azriel was already in bed when Elain walked out of the bathroom. She was wearing one of his shirts, as she so often did. She liked the fit and the smell of him so close to her body.

And it didn’t hurt that he liked seeing her in his clothes.

But tonight, Azriel had already gotten beneath the covers. She knew that he was only wearing boxers and she was aching to feel his skin on hers. But to her dismay, he didn’t reach for her as she curled up next to him. He didn’t start teasing her when she pressed her cold feet against his warm leg. No, he just kissed her temple and continued reading his book.

But she knew he would give in. She was sure of it.

Azriel closed his book and reached over to the lamp on his bedside table. When the room was completely dark, he said, “Goodnight, Elain,” and turned around, his back against her.

Elain felt cold. She usually fell asleep with her body draped over Azriel’s, or with Azriel spooning her.

But she would not give in. So she also turned around and told herself that one day was nothing. Anyone could go without sex for one day.

However, tomorrow. Tomorrow he would give in.

Elain couldn’t be more wrong

–––

When Elain got out of bed, Azriel was already gone. Just like all other Fridays, he had an early morning workout session with Cassian before work. Elain poured herself some coffee in the biggest mug she could find. She needed something to wake her up.

It had taken her almost two hours to fall asleep, which meant that she was running on five hours of sleep this morning. She walked back to the bedroom and opened the closet. While sipping her coffee, she started making a plan on how to get her stubborn boyfriend to lose this stupid bet. Because she was not going to lose. No way.

When Azriel came home from work, he went straight to the bathroom to have a shower. He always did this - as if he needed to wash away the day from his skin. Elain used this time to slip into the dress she had picked out this morning. The dress was not appropriate for work, but it most definitely was appropriate for what she was planning.

The dress was cobalt blue and skin-tight. It reached just below her knees, and there was a slit going up to her thigh. Azriel had bought it for her for their anniversary last year when he had taken her out to dinner and then checked them into a hotel. And then he had spent hours worshipping her body. She hoped that the dress would bring back certain memories and that Azriel would find himself unable to stay away from her.

She poured him a glass of wine and put it on the kitchen island while she waited for him to join her in the kitchen. For dinner, she had made one of his favorite dishes.

The plan was perfect.

She could hear him shuffle around in their bedroom, and when he opened the door, he stopped dead in his tracks. He was wearing black slacks and a t-shirt today, which meant that Elain had the upper hand.

“What are you wearing?” he asked, his voice almost angry.

Elain just smiled at him, “Oh, this old thing,” she said and gestured to the dress before handing him the wine glass she had prepared earlier, “wine?”

He took the glass, but he never took his eyes off of her. She turned around, knowing exactly how good her ass looked in the dress. She was going to make him sweat.

“I made dinner,” she called over her shoulder.

“I can tell,” Azriel muttered and downed the wine.

They sat down for dinner at the kitchen table. They talked about their day and their plans for the weekend. When Elain moved all of her hair to one side, leaving her neck bare, Azriel stopped talking mid-sentence. He let out a low breath and Elain could have sworn that she saw his hand reach for her for just a second before he curled it into a fist.

Elain stood up and started to clear the table. She might have leaned very close to Azriel when reaching for his plate, and she might have made sure that her breasts were very, very close to his face when doing so.

She heard him mutter, “For fucks sake,” under his breath, which made her smile to herself.

She was going to get laid tonight.

Elain went to bed earlier than Azriel. She feigned sleep when he joined her. He lay down on his side of the bed, and then; silence. She half expected him to go to sleep with his back towards her again, but then, one of his strong arms encircled her waist and pulled her close. His chest was warm against her back. He was only wearing boxers, she was only wearing his shirt. Elain shivered when she felt Azriel’s breath on her neck and she almost moaned when he pressed his lips to that spot just below her ear.

“You looked beautiful tonight, Elain,” he whispered, lips moving against her skin.

“Thank you.” Elain grabbed his arm with one hand and pressed herself closer to him.

He was giving in. She won!

“Did you do all this for me, hmm?” Azriel moved his hand to her thigh, slowly lifting her shirt.

She knew that he would find her bare underneath. Just like she had planned. And just like he liked it.

“Yes,” she breathed and reached behind her to press his face closer to her neck. She needed his lips and his tongue and his teeth. She just needed him so badly.

Azriel snickered behind her, stopping his hand just as he reached her hip. “Did you think I would get down on my knees and beg for you?”

Elain froze.

“Did you honestly think that I was that weak?” he asked, and Elain couldn’t answer.

Because, yes. Yes, she had thought that the dress and the food and the wine would make him beg for her. What more could she do?

“Sleep tight, Elain. I hope you’re not too...needy,” he whispered and turned away, leaving her cold and aching.

She knew that he wanted her to. She had felt his erection. But apparently, his need to win was stronger than his sexual needs. Elain wanted to scream into her pillow.

Damn his self-control. And damn him for teasing her like that. And damn him for making her even more desperate for him. She wanted to touch herself, but that was against the rules.

Elain had to watch silly animal videos for an hour before she was calm enough to fall asleep. Azriel was already snoring softly beside her.

–––

When Elain woke up, she was in a foul mood. She could hear Azriel in the kitchen, probably making breakfast and coffee. Stupid breakfast and stupid coffee and stupid Azriel, Elain thought as she got out of bed. She reached for a pair of panties and pulled them on before going out to the kitchen.

“Goodmor…” she started, but she was caught off guard by the sight of Azriel. Her boyfriend was indeed making breakfast. And he was wearing gray sweatpants that hung dangerously low on his hips.

He was not wearing any underwear.

Elain cursed the inventor of gray sweatpants as she sat down on one of the barstools at the kitchen island. Azriel placed a plate in front of her.

Eggs Benedict.

She stared at him. “What is this?”

“Breakfast,” he answered, a crooked smile playing on his face.

“I hate you,” Elain said and took a bite. The food was delicious. “You’re the worst.”

Azriel laughed. “That’s not very polite, Elain.”

“Yeah, well, those pants aren’t very polite either.” Elain pointed at his crotch with her fork.

“You’re very angry this morning, sunshine. Whatever could have your knickers in a twist?” Azriel teased.

Elain shot him a death glare. “I thought you would have given up this stupid bet by now.”

“You know, it would be very easy for you to just give in, Elain. If you want me so much, you just have to say the word…”

Elain pouted, and she knew that Azriel was thinking about sinking his own teeth into her bottom lip. “But you’re a man. Aren’t men supposed to get blueballs or something? Men should want sex more than women.”

Azriel threw his head back and laughed. “That’s not very feminist of you. Also, blueballs is not really a thing. I mean, yes, it can be a bit uncomfortable to be horny for a long time, but it won’t kill us. And if you just think of anything else, it will go away. Eventually.”

“I hope you’re uncomfortable all day,” Elain muttered.

Azriel took this opportunity to scratch his stomach, making sure that Elain’s eyes went to just that spot that she liked to kiss before going down on him. Elain let out a groan and leaned her forehead on the cool marble. “You are evil.”

Azriel chuckled, “I never said I play fair.”

Elain spent the entire Saturday with her sister Nesta. Nesta and Cassian owned a gym, and Elain had decided to join Nesta and her friends for a workout session. She hoped it would make her think about anything other than her stupid sexy boyfriend.

It didn’t.

She had dinner at Nesta and Cassian’s place just to avoid going home to Azriel. She decided that avoidance was the best plan of action right now.

She had to win. Not just because she didn’t want to do the dishes, but because she couldn’t stand the thought of Azriel’s smug face if he won.

–––

On the fourth day, a Sunday, Elain woke up before Azriel. She got up, made herself a cup of coffee, and sat down on one of the barstools. She was facing away from the bedroom door, which meant that Azriel would see the back of her as soon as he stepped out of their bedroom.

Good, Elain thought to herself while sipping her coffee and scrolling through Pinterest on her phone.

She heard the bedroom door open, followed by a sharp intake of air.

“This has to be against the rules,” Azriel muttered.

“What?” Elain asked innocently and looked at her boyfriend over her shoulder.

He just stared at her in answer. It didn’t matter, because Elain knew exactly what Azriel was referring to.

She was naked. She was sitting in the kitchen wearing absolutely nothing.

She heard Azriel grab something from their bedroom. “I’m going to the gym,” he said and walked quickly to the front door.

Elain laughed. “Azriel, you’re not wearing any shoes,” she called after him as he slammed the door behind him.

This day, it was Azriel’s turn to stay away.

–––

On the fifth day, Azriel sent Elain a very detailed description of what he would do to her if she gave in. Elain answered by sending Azriel a few selfies. Some with clothes, some without.

On the sixth day, Elain could barely look at her boyfriend.

He could barely look at her.

Elain was happy that she spent most of her day at work, but she was dreading going home. She had never been so horny in her life. She felt like a teenager. She couldn’t stop thinking about Azriel. About his body. About how he felt above her. Inside her.

How he could please her for hours and still have her asking for more.

Elain walked home that evening, knowing fully well that she wouldn’t be able to last one more day.

She fell asleep on the couch to avoid having to go to bed and have him face away from her. She couldn’t stand going to sleep without his body pressed against hers anymore. She missed him more than she ever had, and he was just a few inches away.

It was torture.

On the seventh day, Elain woke up in bed. Azriel must have carried her to bed.

She knew that he couldn’t sleep without her either.

Azriel’s side of the bed was empty, but when she stroked her hand over the sheets, they were still warm. He must have just gotten up.

Elain could hear the shower which made her imagine Azriel’s wet, naked body.

Which then made her imagine Azriel’s wet naked body having sex with her own wet naked body.

And that’s when she knew that she had lost.

After what felt like a small eternity, she could hear Azriel turn off the shower. When he entered the bedroom again, he was wearing nothing but his towel around his hips. He looked at her where she sat in the middle of their bed, amusement dancing in his eyes.

“What are you doing, darling?”

She stared at his chest. “I need you to fuck me.”

“Come again?” Azriel teased.

“I need you to fuck me, Azriel,” she gritted out. “I’m going crazy. I can’t go to work like this. Yesterday, I had to re-write a birthday card twice because I wrote your name instead. I need…”

“You need me, Elain?” Azriel purred and walked closer to the bed.

Elain nodded.

Azriel grabbed her chin in one of his big hands, forcing her to meet his eyes. “Do you admit that you lost the bet?”

Elain narrowed her eyes. She didn’t want to admit it. She didn’t want to be the loser. But goddamnit, she really needed to have sex.

“Yes, I’m the loser.” She reached for his towel, “You’re the winner.” With one flick of her wrist, Azriel stood before her in all his naked glory. She could almost feel her mouth water.

“Sweeter words were never spoken,” Azriel said and crashed his lips against hers. The kiss wasn’t slow or sweet; it was hungry and desperate. They were both letting out one week of pent of frustration on each other. Azriel leaned over her, supporting himself with one knee on the bed while tangling his hand in her hair. He pulled it slightly, making her move her head until he had perfect access to her neck.

Elain moaned when Azriel gently bit her neck. “God, I’ve missed this,” Azriel sighed against her skin and continued to press kisses down her throat. Azriel climbed onto the bed, making Elain lay down underneath him. She was still wearing one of his shirts.

Elain grabbed his shoulders as he continued kissing and licking and nibbling her neck. She moved her hips against his erection, showing him exactly where she needed him.

“Greedy girl,” Azriel chuckled, but he didn’t give her what she needed. Instead, he just pressed his lips to hers again, kissing her hungrily. He knew that he didn’t have to be at the office for a few hours, and he knew that Nuala was managing Elain’s shop. He could take his time.

He could make her beg.

He placed one hand next to Elain’s head and let the other hand find Elain’s breast. He massaged it gently through the shirt. Elain moaned and tried to move against him again, but to no avail. “Azriel, stop teasing me.”

She could feel Azriel smile against her lips.

He reached down with one hand and grabbed the hem of her shirt, slowly lifting it up and off her body. He grabbed her wrists before she could lower her arms and held them firmly over her head with just one of his hands. She tried to pull her arms free, but he was too strong.

And admittedly, she wasn’t trying very hard. She liked it when he pinned her down. She liked it when he was rough.

Azriel let his eyes travel down Elain’s body, “god, you’re beautiful,” he groaned and kissed her cheek. And then her ear. And then her neck. He trailed kisses over her collarbones, down to her breasts. Azriel flattened his tongue and slowly licked one nipple. Elain arched her back at the sensation, already feeling over-stimulated. Azriel just chuckled and sucked her sensitive nipple into his mouth.

A moan escaped Elain’s lips. God, she needed him. And she needed him now.

“Please, Azriel…”

He grazed her nipple with his teeth before soothing it with his tongue. “Please what?”

“Please, I need…” she panted as he moved his mouth to her other nipple. “I need more.”

“What do you need, sweetheart?”

“You.”

She could feel Azriel smile.

Azriel let go of her hands and continued kissing his way down her body.

“Is this where you need me?” he asked when he was laying between Elain’s legs, his face just inches from her heat.

“Yes,” she whimpered. “Please.”

“Hmm, since you beg so nicely.”

And then his mouth was on her. He held her hips with both hands as he flattened his tongue and licked her. He did it again, and Elain’s body jerked as he reached her clit. “So sensitive…” he murmured and licked her between her folds. She was so wet, so desperate. She wanted everything he would give her. She would take anything he offered.

He licked and sucked her until she was a panting mess underneath him.

“Azriel, I’m gonna…” she whimpered, clutching at the sheets. She was so close. She just needed a little bit more. Just a little bit…

He stopped. “You’re not allowed to come yet, sweetheart.”

She groaned. “Don’t tease me right now, Az. I’m dying.”

With one finger, he gently caressed her pussy. He circled her entrance, “You’ve been teasing me for a fucking week, Elain. You can wait a little longer.”

“No, I can’t,” she whined.

Slowly, Azriel pushed his finger inside. It was torture. Slow, wonderful, agonizing torture. “So wet for me,” he murmured, lowering his face again. “Don’t come,” he warned before sucking her clit into his mouth. Elain had to bite her lip to keep herself from screaming. Azriel fucked her with one long finger, his mouth never leaving her clit. It was too much and not enough.

She reached down, grabbing his hair. She didn’t know if she wanted to pull him off her or push him closer. “Fuck, Azriel… Please.”

Azriel answered by pushing another finger into her pussy. Elain’s entire body was shaking. She needed release. She needed it so badly, but she couldn’t have it. She had to wait. She had to be good.

Azriel lifted his mouth from her, giving her a moment to catch her breath. “Are you going to be a good girl for me?” Azriel’s voice was thick with lust, his chin covered with her wetness. Elain looked down to meet his eyes. “Yes, please. I’ll be so good. Just please, let me come.”

Azriel’s eyes never left hers as he started pumping his fingers into her again. “Beg.”

“Please, Azriel. Can I come? I need to come, please,” she begged. She didn’t care if she sounded needy or desperate. She only cared about the orgasm that was just beyond reach.

“Will you thank me if I give you what you need?”

Elain just nodded.

“Then come, Elain.” Azriel lowered his head again, and this time when she felt his lips and his tongue on her clit, she didn’t have to hold back. Elain moved her hips against her face, seeking all the friction she could get. “Thank you,” she moaned. “Thank you so.. so much. Thank..you,” Elain babbled, so lost in her pleasure. Azriel’s clever tongue and wonderful hands brought her closer and closer to her orgasm and when he sucked her clit into his mouth again, she saw stars. It was like an explosion in her body. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. All she knew was that this was everything she ever needed.

She had closed her eyes and she was so lost to her orgasm that she didn’t even notice that Azriel pulled out his fingers and moved up her body. She didn’t notice until his cock was pressing against her. Azriel didn’t say anything before pushing inside.

He wasn’t gentle. With one, single thrust, he filled her completely. Elain moaned and thanked him again. She would thank him forever. Azriel grabbed her chin with one hand, “Who’s the winner?”

“You are, Azriel,” she whimpered as he pulled out again, leaving only the tip of his cock inside her heat.

“That’s right. And what are you?”

Elain refused to call herself a loser again. But she knew exactly what to call herself to make Azriel go crazy.

“I’m your good girl.”

The words had the desired effect.

“Yes, you are,” he growled and thrust into her again. He set a punishing pace, and Elain tried to meet every thrust. She grabbed his shoulders for support, digging her nails into his skin. She knew it would leave marks. She knew he would love it.

Azriel buried his face in the crook of her neck. “Fuck, Elain. I won’t last long.”

Elain hugged his hips with her legs, pushing him even closer with her feet on his ass. “I want you to come inside,” she moaned in his ear, making him curse under his breath. He fucked her even harder, even faster, and Elain could feel her pleasure build again.

Azriel snaked a hand between their bodies, letting it travel down until he reached her pussy. He gathered up her wetness with two fingers and started massaging her clit.

“Be a good girl and come for me again,” Azriel purred. “Come on my cock.”

Elain couldn’t answer, couldn’t think. She had no control of her body as her second orgasm washed over her. Azriel wasn’t far behind, coming with her name on his lips. When she felt him spill into her, she almost wanted to weep from happiness. She loved feeling this full. This blissed out.

Azriel’s body was pressed against hers and she hugged him close. He was still inside her, and she wanted to savor this moment until they both had to start their days.

“Let’s never go without sex for a week again,” Azriel said when his breathing had gone back to normal.

“Deal,” Elain laughed.

Azriel brought his lips to hers again, but this time the kiss was soft and slow. “I love you, Elain,” he whispered against her lips.

“I love you more.”

–-

When Elain came home from work that evening, she found a gift on the kitchen island.

It was wrapped in purple paper and decorated with a green bow. There was a small note attached to the front;

'You’ll need these.'

Elain ripped open the paper, and inside she found the ugliest dishwashing gloves she had ever seen. They were hot pink with leopard details, and there were even some rhinestones decorating the top of the gloves. Elain could do nothing but laugh as she put them on. They looked ridiculous.

She sent a selfie of herself wearing the gloves to Azriel. She didn’t expect him to answer since he was working late, but the answer came almost immediately.

Azriel You look lovely. They suit you! ;)

Elain If you like them so much, I can wear them to bed tonight :)

Elain did wear the gloves to bed. Azriel didn’t complain.

#elriel fanfic #elain x azriel #elain archeron #azriel x elain #elriel #acotar fanfiction #acotar #dottielovegoodfanfiction

[dottielovegood]

When (Elain/Elriel)

Read it on A03 here ---------------------

About this fic: Elain is battling her own mind after being Made. Or: A few scenes from ACOWAR from Elain's POV. CW: Depression and suicidal ideation (there's hope too!) Inspired by: dodie - when Bea Miller - I just want to feel something

------------------------

I used to find silence in my solitude.

I used to be able to shut out the sounds of the world and just focus on myself for a while. When everything became too much, I would seek silence in the garden. In the dead of night, the silence was the only thing keeping me company. There was always one corner in this world where I could just…be.

But that was before. Before this curse that had been thrown upon me. Before I became this thing. I didn’t understand how nobody else went mad from the constant cacophony of sounds. I was restless, unable to sleep. Underneath me, I could hear the mountain move. I could hear the ocean as the waves crashed on the shore. I could hear the birds and the bugs and the hearts. Every single heart in this house beat to a different rhythm and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t block out the sound. It was constant. A constant reminder of what I had become.

Of what had been taken from me against my will.

I had been made, they said. Cauldron made. Yet I felt as if I was nothing more than a shell of a person. I hadn’t been made. I was destroyed. What I had once been was a mere memory now.

I clung to the memory of who I had been, of the life I had lived. I tried to hold on to the small part of my soul I could still call me.

Yet with each day, that small kernel of my essence grew dimmer and weaker.

I was scared that I would wake up one day and not recognize myself. I was afraid that if I didn’t hold on to the past, I would find that I, Elain, my soul, would be gone.

Maybe that would be preferable.

​​Never caught up in the moment Busy begging the past to stay

I heard Feyre arrive. She had been gone for a long time, but I had become accustomed to a life without my sister. When she had gone with that beast beyond the wall, I was certain that I would never see her again. I tried to remember the feeling of seeing her again that day when she came back. I tried to find that happiness and relief somewhere inside me. I could clearly remember the joy I had felt when I had seen her face after all those months, but nothing inside of me could remember the feeling of joy.

Some days, it felt as if there was a big hole inside of me. A hole that wasn’t filled with darkness, but with something I couldn’t explain. Sounds I couldn’t make out. Visions that might have been memories or dreams. The only thing I could explain was the pain that would sometimes curl around my heart and squeeze until I could focus on nothing but the sensation of the throbbing ache somewhere deep inside me.

Some days, I wished that the hole inside of me was filled with darkness instead. I wished that my soul was nothing more than a black hole that would suck me in and make me disappear.

Am I the only one wishing life away?

Feyre stepped into the room that I had been placed in the day Rhysand had brought me back to his home. I wouldn’t call it my room. Nothing here was mine.

I barely belonged to myself.

I was a guest invited to a party I didn’t want to be at.

“Elain?” she said softly, her voice a familiar caress down my spine. “I’m back.”

I didn’t move. Didn’t look at her. Didn’t want to see the happiness I would find on her face after being reunited with her mate.

Didn’t want to see the pity. That’s how they all looked at me. With pity.

Even Nesta.

So I didn’t look at her. I kept my eyes on the horizon - on the ocean I could see beyond the mountains. I imagined that if I just looked hard enough I would be able to see all the way home.

“I want to go home,” I told my sister. My voice was weak. Pitiful. I didn’t care.

“I know.”

I could hear Feyre’s heart. It sounded just like Rhysand’s

“He’ll be looking for me.” My voice was barely more than a whisper. I wondered if it was the truth - that Greyson would look for me when he found the estate empty. When he realized that I was nowhere to be found. Would he be worried? Would he send his men to look for me?

I guessed it didn’t matter. They wouldn’t find me. And even if they did, I wasn’t sure I was something he wanted to find. I caressed the iron ring with my thumb.

“I know.”

“We were supposed to be married next week.”

There was a pause, as if she was trying to find the right words. Tried to find the words that wouldn’t hurt me.

I knew she wouldn’t find them. They all said the same thing.

“I’m sorry.”

Those words were meaningless. They would change nothing. It didn’t matter how sorry they were because it wouldn’t fix anything. My life wouldn’t magically come back to me just because they pitied me.

“Can we get you anything, Elain?” Rhys asked, his voice as careful as ever.

“I want to go home.”

Somewhere behind me, I could almost hear a heart break.

It wasn’t my sister’s.

I'm waiting to live, and waiting to love Oh, it'll be over, and I'll still be asking when

On some rare occasions, I joined Nesta in the small library in the house. She would sit curled up in her chair, reading one of those romance novels she liked so much. She usually placed a book or two on the table for me to read.

I never reached for them.

I just turned my chair towards the window and looked for the life I had been forced to leave behind.

Once, Feyre asked me what I was looking at and I told her that I could see the sea. It wasn’t a lie - I could see the sea. I could see the rivers and valleys and mountains that should be impossible for a human eye to make out in the distance.

But that was the thing, wasn’t it? I wasn’t human anymore.

My sisters exchanged glances when I told them that I could hear their heartbeats. That I could hear the ocean and the screams of a bird made of fire. They looked at me as if I had gone mad.

Maybe I had.

Maybe madness would be better than this constant emptiness that had burrowed somewhere deep inside my chest where my soul had once been.

I just wanna feel something, I just wanna feel Something really real so that I can really Feel like a person again

Feyre told me about the garden at her other house. Told me about the one thing she thought I wanted. She didn’t understand. None of them did. They didn’t understand that I wasn’t me anymore.

“Will I hear the earthworms writhing through the soil?” I asked her. “Will the bird of fire watch me?”

The bird had first appeared in my dreams, its burning wings lighting up the night sky. It was searching for a way out - just like me. It was trying to escape, to find its way home.

When I couldn’t sleep, the bird still came for me. It had never been a dream.

Once again, my sisters looked at me as if I had gone mad.

Feyre dragged Nesta further into the small library to ask her about me. Normally, I would have told her that it was rude to talk about people behind their back, especially when they were still in the same room. If we had been home, I would have told them. At least I think I would. I wasn’t sure what the normal Elain would do anymore.

With each passing day, she was disappearing further into the abyss.

I didn’t mind. Maybe it would be better to be nothing?

I could still remember the smiles people directed at me when they saw me. The old me. The human me.

Men, women, children - it didn’t matter. I had always found that when you smiled at others, they smiled back. If you tried to spread light, you would get light back.

I think my light died the day I was taken.

It was unfortunate that humans didn’t have a light switch somewhere inside of them.

Not that it would matter much for me.

I wasn’t human anymore.

I wasn’t even sure what I was. What I had become.

I wasn’t the same as my sisters. Somehow, I must have come out wrong.

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

A mistake.

I shouldn’t even be here.

Everyone falls for the sunshine disguise Distracted by who they're thinking of

“You left your room,” he said when he found me alone in the library. He acted as if he had just walked into the room by accident, but I knew better. Something in him was drawn to something in me. I could feel it.

I could hear it.

Our hearts beat to the same rhythm, connecting us in a way that should be impossible.

At night, when I could hear him through the walls, I fantasized about ripping my own heart out.

I just wanted silence again. I longed for the quiet.

The man kept talking. Something about tea and cups and biscuits.

I didn’t answer. I had nothing to give him.

He told me his name as if he wanted to start a conversation. As if he wanted me to tell him my name.

I could hear his heart. I didn’t need to know his name.

“You were in Hybern,” I said, still not meeting his eyes.

For the first time since I came here, our hearts weren’t in sync.

His skipped a beat. I liked it. I liked that for one fraction of a second, we weren’t connected.

“You betrayed us,” I said, hoping to make it happen again.

It didn’t.

“It– it was a mistake.” I could hear the regret in his voice. The hurt. The anger and the anguish of what he had done. If I had cared enough, I might have wanted him to suffer.

“I was to be married in a few days.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry.

They all were so very sorry.

They could do nothing for me.

“I can hear your heart,” I said, my voice barely more than a whisper. I needed to know if he could hear mine too. “Can you hear mine?”

“No, lady. I cannot.”

I could feel my shoulders pull inwards involuntarily. I think I might have hoped that he could hear me. That someone could.

“No one ever does. No one ever looked – not really.”

I don't wanna die but I don't wanna live like this

He had come for me.

Not the one with red hair and skin like golden sunlight. The other one. The one with dark hair and blue stones. And wings.

“We're born hearing the sound of the wind,” he had told me once. A lifetime ago.

He had come to take me away from here.

Feyre had decided that we should move. Maybe because she had been told that I needed to get out of the house, or maybe because the other house felt more like a home to her. I didn’t know her reason, nor did I care.

She had told me that there would be a garden.

I wondered if I would be able to hear the worms. If I would be able to hear the decay.

Maybe it would sound just like me.

“I’m Azriel,” he whispered in my ear as he gently scooped me up in his arms.

I knew his name. I had never forgotten it.

When we took flight, I shut my eyes and held onto him. It felt like falling. Weirdly enough, it also felt like living. Like the air that was forcing its way down my lungs was trying to keep me here. Keep me alive.

Keep me from jumping. From falling.

Once, on a day when I couldn’t understand my own mind, I had wondered what it would be like to leap out of the window in that house atop the mountain. I wondered if it would feel like flying or if you wouldn’t be able to think about anything but the ground that would surely be rushing toward you.

In Azriel’s arms, I think I finally understood what he meant about the song of the wind. I was certain that flying and falling wouldn’t be the same and I think I was happy that I hadn’t decided to fall because then I would have missed what it was like to fly.

As Azriel carried me to my new home, he kept whispering in my ear. He told me about his city, about the people and the food and the life.

“That is the Sidra,” he said and nodded toward the river that flowed through the city. “And over there is the Rainbow. That’s where you will find the best art in all of Prythian.”

I said nothing. I just listened to his voice. It grounded me. Kept me rooted.

I wanted to hear him tell me more about the city.

It was the first time I had wanted something in months.

When we landed in front of a townhouse, he didn’t put me down straight away. He carried me through the door and into the warm hallway before he gently returned me to the ground. I could feel how my hair had caught in his armor. When I looked at his shoulder, a few golden strands had etched themselves between the black scales there.

I looked at his face then and found that he was looking at me too. I had avoided eye contact for months - I didn’t need to see their pity.

But there was no pity to be found in Azriel’s eyes. I might have imagined it, but I think I saw one corner of his lips curl upwards as he offered me his arm. “Would you like me to show you the garden?”

I dropped my gaze from his and looked at the extended hand. I could see cobalt and scars and kindness and warmth.

“Beautiful.”

I let him show me the garden.

I'm waiting to live, and waiting to love Oh, it'll be over, and I'll still be asking when

One day a few weeks later a woman came to visit me. A healer, Feyre said.

I wondered if anyone could really heal a soul.

I was on my bed, my eyes staring up at the ceiling. There was a fly there. I wondered what it would be like to have hundreds of eyes like a fly. Could they see hundreds of things at the same time, too?

Maybe I had become a fly.

I could hear my sisters and the healer talk outside my door. I wondered why they had bothered to leave the room.

They knew I could hear them.

“What’s wrong with her?” Feyre asked.

Everything, I thought.

“See what he can do,” the woman outside my door said. “If anyone can sense something amiss, it’s a mate. The bond is a bridge between souls.”

I didn’t tell them that my soul had been destroyed in the waters of the cauldron. They wouldn’t understand. No one ever did.

Except maybe…

–--

It was silly, really. The way Mor and Feyre pretended that this was normal. That we were just a normal group of people having normal afternoon tea. Nothing about this was normal.

We weren’t normal.

Lucien was here again, trying to find the part of me that had been broken that faithful day in Hybern. Trying to find out how he could fix me.

He would soon find out that I couldn’t be fixed.

He would soon find out that I wasn’t worth fixing.

Just like Graysen would if he ever saw me again.

I knew he would hate what I had become, and still, I couldn’t help but hope. I hoped that I would somehow wake up and find that this had all been a dream – a nightmare. I would wake up and he would be there, holding me like he used to. I knew that my sisters didn’t understand. They never thought him good enough for me. But they didn’t know. Couldn’t know.

He had seen me when nobody else had. When everyone else had seen nothing but a pretty face, Graysen had seen me. He had wanted me even if I wasn’t exciting or interesting or strong. He had told me that he could be strong enough for both of us – that if I would let him, he would protect me and the family I had left.

It had been hard to ignore that he didn’t think of Feyre as my family anymore. To him, you would be better off dead than fae. But Feyre had all the protection she had ever needed in Rhysand while Nesta and my father had no one to look after them. If I chose Graysen, I knew that we would be kept safe from the war that was looming over us. From the threat beyond the wall.

Now, I was part of that threat.

It was an odd sensation to be the thing you had feared the most. Something deep inside me told me that Graysen would kill me if he had the chance – not out of malice, but because he honestly thought that death would be better than this thing I had become.

Maybe it would be a mercy.

Maybe he would have mercy. Maybe he would still choose me. Still protect me.

He had told me he loved me. Just once. Just once, after the night we shared together.

I had given him all of me, and he said he loved it. That must have meant something, right?

And it's not fair I keep on writing a sequel to stories I know that are not there

Nesta was hovering. She knew it wasn’t normal. Knew it felt wrong for me.

Yet she wanted to understand what was wrong with me. Wanted to know what needed to be fixed, so she let it go on. She was with Amren, trying to work on her powers, but I could feel her eyes on me again and again.

I wondered if this is what she felt like whenever Cassian was in the room. This itch that I just couldn’t scratch. This odd sensation of being bound to someone you hadn’t chosen. Somehow, I didn’t think she felt the same. I knew we weren’t the same.

She was angry about what the cauldron had done to her – to us. I could feel her anger radiate through the house and I knew she directed all that anger towards Cassian. I knew that he would take anything she threw at him. Every word, every punch, every hateful thought. He would just take it, because there was something else underneath all that hate.

I was too tired to be angry.

I reached for my teacup; I needed something to occupy my hands. I could feel all of their eyes on me. I could hear every heartbeat. Hope, fear, anticipation…

Something moved inside me. I shot up from my chair, staring at Lucien. My hand went to my ribs.

“I’m sorry.” His eye, the one that wasn’t made of gold, looked shocked. Horrified at what he had done.

“What was that?” I asked, trying to soothe the ache inside me with the palm of my hand.

“It– it was a tug. On the bond,” he explained.

I didn’t even get the chance to answer him before Nesta was at my side.

“What did you do?” her voice was like venom, slicing through the air until it found its mark in Lucien. He didn’t flinch. Didn’t even look at her.

He was focused on me. “I’m sorry if I unsettled you.”

“It felt strange. Like you pulled on a thread to a rib.”

Was this what my sisters felt too? Did they like it?

I felt nauseous.

“I’m sorry,” he said again, his palm lifting slightly from where it lay on his lap– like he wanted to reach for me. I took a step back. Someone behind me said something, but I couldn’t hear the words. Every sound was muffled, like I was underwater. Drowning.

Not again. Not now.

No, no, no, no.

It had never happened in front of people like this before. The dreams usually came to me when I was alone. When I could hide it. They never made sense. They felt like dreams, but I knew I was awake. I tried to tell myself that I was just tired, that the things I saw were just fragments of my imagination, but I knew they were something else. I knew they were true. I could see them and feel them just like I could see and feel my sisters. Just like I could see and feel the grass in the garden and the ground beneath my feet.

Maybe I was going mad after all?

Maybe when the madness had settled in me completely, I would finally find oblivion.

Wouldn’t that be nice?

“Twin ravens are coming,” I said before I could even register that the words had left my mouth. “One white and one black.”

Something told me I had to warn them. The firebird was no threat to us, but the ravens were made out of darkness and hate.

They didn’t understand. They just looked at me with pity again. Pity, and something else. Something that looked a lot like disappointment. Lucien hadn’t been able to fix me.

Nesta walked up to me and gently touched my arm. “What can I get you, Elain?”

“Sunshine.”

She led me to the garden Aziel had shown me my first day here.

I was happy that I couldn’t hear the worms.

Can you tell me a secret? Can you tell me what's wrong with me? I know I should be angry But I can barely feel a fuckin' thing

The next morning I joined my sisters in the kitchen. I wasn’t hungry, but I knew they would worry less if they thought that I was behaving like a normal person, so I sat down by the kitchen table with a cup of tea.

I liked how it burned my tongue.

A man walked in. He was big, broad. Had wings like Azriel. Wings that would break and crumble until he was nothing but dust. I looked at him, trying to make sense of what I had seen. Was it a memory or one of those dreams?

“Good morning, Nesta,” he said and reached for a muffin. “Elain.”

“He snapped your wings. Broke your bones.”

Nesta stared at me, mouth slightly agape. But Cassian just shot me a grin. “It’ll take more than that to kill me.

“No. It won’t.”

I could hear how Nesta crumbled her napkin in her lap under the table. Feyre turned to me and asked me if I wanted to go out in the garden. I wondered if they sent me there because they didn’t want to deal with me. If I was outside, they could ignore this ugly thing inside me.

I didn’t blame them.

I hadn’t noticed him, but he was here now. I never heard him arrive.

I guess that’s what made him the spymaster.

Azriel.

“I can help her,” he told my sister and offered me his scarred hand. I wondered what had happened to him, but I would never dare to ask.

I wondered if my soul looked like his hands.

Maybe there could be beauty in my scars too.

I took his hand and let him lead me out in the garden.

It was a lovely day. The sun was shining and there was a soft breeze coming in that smelled of sea salt and warmth. When it mixed with Azriel’s scent of nigh-chilled mist and cedar, I took a deep breath. I hoped he didn’t notice. But his scent calmed my racing heart, made me forget the things I had seen.

He was a quiet man. I didn’t mind. I wasn’t exactly talkative myself. We were sitting at the wrought iron table in the corner of the garden. A rose bush bloomed behind us and I was thinking of all the other flowers I could plant here. The garden was pretty, but it needed more color. More life.

Azriel was reading a report while sunning his wings. I had to hold my cup with both hands to stop myself from reaching out to touch the smooth surface. I wondered what they would feel like. I wondered if it felt nice for Illyrians to have their wings touched.

I blushed at the thought. I shouldn’t think about touching other men.

I was still engaged. And I didn’t think Azriel would be thrilled if he could hear my thoughts. It was inappropriate, and I was a fool.

He was just being kind to me. He wouldn’t want me to touch him. Feyre had once told me that Azriel was the only one with manners in this house, which would explain why he was the only one who offered to sit with me. Nobody else could stand being in the same room with me for more than a few minutes.

Azriel probably didn’t want to spend time with me either; he was just too kind to say no.

Azriel lifted his gaze from the papers in front of him and caught me staring. I averted my eyes quickly, but not before I could catch the slightest hint of a smile on his lips.

I realized that for just a few minutes, everything had been quiet. Silent.

Even my mind.

I'll take what I can get 'Cause I'm too damp for a spark

The ravens came for my sisters.

They came and they destroyed and took and took and took until they were no more.

I wondered why they hadn’t come for me. Why could I see them if they didn’t want to find me? I didn’t understand. I never did. It was all a mess and I couldn’t make sense of the things inside my head. Nobody could. I was broken beyond repair now.

I wondered when my family would just give up on me. I had nothing to give them. I could contribute with nothing. I was nothing.

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

They talk about the war that is coming. The war I had seen over and over and over again. I tried to tell them. I tried but they didn’t listen. They just sent me to the garden. I stopped telling them about the things I saw. It was better that way.

Apparently, the ravens were just the beginning. We were facing a war where we had close to no allies. I wondered how someone as powerful as Rhysand didn’t have allies. If he wanted to, he could just make them. It wouldn’t be difficult for him.

“We will face a war, Rhys,” Mor said. “A war where we have no allies beyond Keir, either in Prythian or beyond it.” She was facing Rhysand, her body tense. She was always tense when she thought about her father. I didn’t know her truth and her story, but her father couldn’t be a kind man.

She sounded hopeless. But there was hope. Didn’t they see it?

She was our hope. I had tried to tell them.

“The queen might come,” I said.

Nesta turned to me, her face unreadable. “What queen?”

“The one who was cursed.”

Please understand. Please, see me. Hear me. Let me help.

“Cursed by the cauldron,” Feyre explained to Nesta, “When it threw its tantrum after you…left–”

“No, not that one. The other.”

Hear me. Hear me. See me. Please.

Amren was standing with her arms crossed, her eyes boring into me as if trying to see what was going on inside my head. Or maybe to scare me. She didn’t. “What other?” she asked.

“The queen– with the feathers of flame.”

Surely they must understand. I had told them so many times.

Everyone in the room exchanged glances with each other. They really thought I was mad. Didn’t they understand? If the ravens had been real, so was the bird of flames. She might come. If we found her, she could help.

Lucien looked at me, trying so desperately to understand me. “Should we– does she need–”

“She doesn’t need anything,” Azriel interrupted, his voice soft and gentle. Kind.

Azriel. I looked at him and he was looking at me as if he could truly see me.

I held my breath. Could he see me? Could he hear me?

Please, please, please.

“We’re the ones who need… a seer. The cauldron made you a seer.”

He held my gaze as he spoke and I could feel all the eyes in the room focus on me again. I didn’t care. They hadn’t seen me when I needed them to.

Azriel did.

I turned to Mor, “Is that what this is?”

This curse. This constant mess in my head. Was there an explanation?

I didn’t know why, but I knew that Mor would be able to see the truth.

There was a beat of silence, the room almost vibrating with it, and then– Mor nodded. She nodded and it was as if I could finally breathe again. I looked at my sisters, at Rhysand, at Amren. The pity and sadness that had clouded their eyes every time they looked at me had vanished. They had their explanation now. They wouldn’t have to send me out in the garden every time I spoke my mind.

I didn’t look at Lucien.

There was only one person I wanted to see. I sought out Azriel. His eyes had never left mine. He saw me. He wanted to see me.

A spark of something akin to hope bloomed in my chest, just next to my heart.

#dottielovegoodfanfiction #elriel #elriel fanfic #elain archeron #this fic is mainly about elain but there is a hint of elriel #elain archeron fanfic

[dottielovegood]

Fanfic Masterlist

All of my fanfiction can be found on AO3

Pretty Little Angel (Elriel, nsfw)***

Read on AO3 here (not available on tumblr)

Summary: It’s always the quiet ones...

A few weeks after the Winter Solstice party, Elain decides to follow Azriel through Velaris. However, he can tell that he is being followed (as the spymaster he is) and decides to question her. One thing leads to another, and Elain finds herself at a BDSM club. At a BDSM club with Azriel. At a BDSM club that Azriel owns.

Here she learns the true meaning of pleasure, and pain.

This fic follows the events in ACOSF ________________________________________

ASMR (Elriel)*

Summary: Azriel can’t sleep Elain has an ASMR channel A match made in heaven (or you know, on youtube...)

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6

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Happy Halloween (Elriel)**

Summary: Elain goes to a Halloween party dressed at Rey from Star Wars. When she sees her ex Graysen at the party, she decides to ask the stranger dressed as Kylo Ren to pretend to be her date since they already have matching costumes.

Chapters: 1 2

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Bloom (Elriel) On hiatus

Summary: Elain owns a flower shop Azriel owns a tattoo parlor A classic flower shop / tattoo parlor AU.

One night, Azriel meets the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Unfortunately, this is also the last time he sees her. Or so he thought.

Chapters: 1 2 3 (ongoing)

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Shadowsinger [erotic audio for women, nsfw] (Elriel)

Summary: Azriel does audio porn. Elain is a big fan.

Read this fic on AO3

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Trick or Treat (Elriel)**

Summary: It’s been a year since Elain and Azriel met at a Halloween party. That time, they were dressed as Kylo Ren and Rey. What will their costumes be this year?

Chapters: 1 2

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One shots:

The Bet ** - Azriel and Elain bets on who can go the longest without sex

When - Elain is battling her own mind after being Made Snowball fights and impressive wingspans - exactly what the title suggests.

Tarte au citron ***- This is set two months after 'Pretty Little Angel'. This fic contains: rope, baking, spatulas, dirty talk and a lot of teasing.

Elain's poetry - Just two poems written from Elain's POV

Questions and Answers - Modern AU, friends to lovers **

Anything. Everything - Secret messages and smut**

A Midsummer Night's Dream - It is said that if you pick seven different flowers and put them under your pillow on midsummer, you will dream of the man you are going to marry. Who is the man visiting Elain’s dreams?

Asphodel - Hogwarts AU. Hufflepuff Elain helps Slytherin Azriel in the greenhouse.

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*A bit of spice ** Spicy *** Extra hot (check tags)

───── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─────

Finished Solstice fics: 1. I miss you - Elain drapes a blanket over a sleeping Azriel 2. Advent - Elain is babysitting Nyx when Azriel gets home from a mission 3. The Conference - Elain and Azriel are teachers and Azriel has a secret crush on Elain ** 4. Ugly Christmas sweater - Exactly what it sounds like. Cute, silly and fluffy. 5. Secret Santa - Office romance, modern AU ** 6. Solstice Mischief - Cassian and Feyre decorate for Solstice and play matchmakers for Elriel

───── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─────

#DottieLovegoodfanfiction #elriel fanfic #elriel #azriel x elain #acotar #acotar fanfiction #smut and fluff #masterlist

[dottielovegood]

ASMR - Chapter 5

Elriel fanfiction

About this fic:

Azriel can’t sleep Elain has an ASMR channel Match made in heaven (or you know, on youtube..)

_______________________________________

You can find chapter 1 here, chapter 2 here, chapter 3 here and chapter 4 here

Read this fic on AO3

_______________________________________

Elain Beautiful!

Elain’s message made Azriel blush. He even blushed the next day whenever he thought about it.

He had never been called “beautiful” before. Handsome? Yes. Sexy and hot? A few times

But beautiful? Never

He couldn’t stop thinking about the message. Nor could he stop thinking about the fact that she lived in Velaris. Had they ever passed each other on the street? Had he stood behind her in the line at the grocery store?

Had they breathed the same air without knowing it?

Azriel couldn’t help but think back to Rhys and Feyre’s wedding. She had been there, hadn’t she? That same day when he was sitting with Rhys in a suite before the ceremony, she had delivered flowers downstairs. If he had just left the room before the ceremony, he might have met her that day. He was certain that they hadn’t met, even though Nesta was certain that they must have at least seen each other. He knew in his heart that he could never have forgotten her face if he had seen it. He couldn’t stop thinking about her now, and he had only seen her on his screen.

Azriel imagined that she must be even more beautiful in real life.

And now, he could actually find out if that was the case.

He told himself that he didn’t change his usual morning route because he wanted to see her. He told himself that he was tired of running in the park and that a run along the river Sidra would be a nice change of pace. He told himself that he didn’t even think about the fact that Elain’s flower shop was located on River Street, looking out over the Sidra.

He told himself all these things, but deep down, he knew that he was lying. It felt stupid and idiotic to lie to yourself, but it made him feel a bit better. It made him feel a little less like a creep as he ran along the river.

It was a nice day out. You could tell that summer was turning into fall because of the crisp morning air and the changing colors of the leaves. Velaris was probably the most beautiful during fall, at least according to Azriel. He had always loved fall and always hated summer. He didn’t like the heat. His friend, Cassian, hated summer too because of his allergies. That’s why he and Nesta had opted for a fall wedding.

The city was quiet this early in the morning. Azriel enjoyed the quiet; he always had. He never worked out with music and he couldn’t understand why people wanted to blast stressful tunes in their ears while working out. For Azriel, running was a form of meditation. He was completely alone with his thought and he often felt as if he had his best ideas during his morning runs. Music would have bothered him.

He had mapped out a route along the Sidra that was approximately 5 kilometers long (he always ran 5 km in the morning). It just so happened that Elain’s store could be seen from this route. What a coincidence, he thought, as it came into view.

In between the lies he had told himself, he had also told himself that she would probably not be there this early. He just wanted to see the place where she worked, but she would most likely not even be there. It was less creepy if she wasn’t there, which is why he hadn’t walked by in the middle of the day. He didn’t want her to think that he was a stalker. He remembered what Nesta had said about her taste in men, and he was pretty sure that she would never look at him again if she thought that he was stalking her.

As he was nearing her shop, he felt his palms sweat and his heart race. Totally normal reactions to a workout, he told himself. And all of a sudden, he found himself across the street from her little shop. It was situated between a small café and a bookshop. The sign above the door was light pink, and swirly green letters read “WALLFLOWER”. That was an interesting name for a flower shop, Azriel thought. Then, he noticed that the lights were on and the door was slightly ajar. Azriel held his breath as he slowed his pace and looked through the window. At first, there was no sign of anyone in there. Then, a door in the back opened, and there she was. She had her hair down today, and she was wearing a dark blue dress over a white t-shirt. Her face was covered by the big bunch of flowers she was carrying. Azriel knew nothing about flowers, but he knew he hated these white and pink things for covering her face. Azriel pulled up his hood, hoping that she wouldn’t see him as he lingered on the other side of the street, hoping for just one look.

She bent over and put the flowers down just by the door. Her hair fell in front of her face and…

That’s when Azriel’s phone rang.

And for once in his life, the sound was on. He had no idea when he had un-muted it, but he could see Elain shift. Shit, she had heard his phone. The door was slightly open and there was no traffic right now which obviously meant that anyone within a 100-meter radius could hear it. And it did not help that someone, probably Cassian, had changed his ringtone to fucking Barbie Girl by Aqua.

Azriel quickly turned away from the shop and started running again. He didn’t even see where he was going as he fumbled in his pocket for his phone. “Fuck,” he let out as the female voice in his pocket sang about how fantastic it was to be plastic.

“What?” he answered, ready to rip apart the person that had called him.

“What has your knickers in a twist?” Rhys asked in a fake British accent.

“I’m running.”

“Yeah, I know. You always run at this time of the day. Creature of habit and all that.” Rhys sounded chipper. Who the fuck was this happy in the morning?

“What do you want? Didn’t you say that the meeting started at nine today?”

“Yes, Azriel. The meeting starts at nine, but I need you and Cassian to come in earlier. Like now. Where are you?”

“I’m by the Sidra, so it’ll probably take me ten minutes to reach the office if I run,” Azriel answered. “Is this urgent, or can I go home and change?”

“Why are you by the Sidra? You always run in the park?”

“Trying to get out of my comfort zone,” Azriel mumbled, hoping that Rhys would just let it go.

“Well, good for you. And yes, it’s urgent. You can shower here and I know that you keep extra clothes in your desk drawer. See you in ten minutes!”

Azriel groaned. He did not want an emergency meeting right now. He wanted to go home and drown in his shower from the sheer mortification he was feeling.

“Oh, Azriel!” Rhys almost shouted before Azriel could hang up. “Bring coffee.”

Azriel snorted. “I didn’t think you were allowed coffee.”

Azriel could hear the smile in his brother’s voice as he said, “just bring the fucking coffee, Az.”

20 minutes later, Azriel walked into the office with three cups of coffee and a few croissants.

“What’s the emergency?” Azriel asked as soon as he walked through the doors to Rhys’ office.

Cassian was already there, and Rhys had the biggest grin on his face. It made Azriel uncomfortable. Why was he grinning at half-past seven in the morning?

Azriel handed one cup each to Rhys and Cassian while taking one for himself. He didn’t take a seat. He just waited for Rhys to tell him why the hell he was here.

Cass took a sip from his cup and made a disgusted face.

“What the fuck is this?” he asked.

“De-caf, vanilla latte with extra foam.”

“Why? You know that I drink my coffee black.”

“Barbie girl,” was all Azriel said, and from the way Cassian’s face lit up, he could tell that it was, indeed, Cassian who had changed his ringtone.

“Oh, yeah,” Cassian grinned. “great song!”

Azriel rolled his eyes.

Rhys leaned against his desk and took a swig from his own cup. Azriel had not made a funny order for him, but he kind of wish he had. The stupid smile seemed to be permanently etched onto his face. Rhys let out a sound that sounded eerily like a moan.

“God, this tastes like heaven,” he sighed. Azriel liked his coffee as much as any other person, and he guessed that it would taste even better if you had gone without any caffeine for months, but this was still weird.

“Better than your wife?” Cass joked and wiggled his eyebrows.

Rhys shot him a death glare. “Don’t you dare speak about the mother of my future child like that!”

Azriel felt his jaw drop. Did he just say what Azriel thought he said?

He didn’t have time to ask before Rhys lit up again. “Feyre’s pregnant!” he basically shouted.

For a beat, Azriel and Cassian stared at him dumbfounded. Then, Cassian jumped from his chair, embracing Rhys.

“Damn! Finally! Congratulations, man,” he said and patted him hard on the back.

Azriel wasn’t much of a hugger, but even he embraced his brother. “Congrats!”

“How did you find out?” Cassian asked.

“Well, it was all very romantic. I made her breakfast this morning, and she looked at me as if I had put rat-poison in her porridge. Then she threw up. Actually, the first sign was definitely that her boobs got bigger, but she told me to shut up every time I mentioned it.”

“Didn’t need to know that,” Azriel muttered.

Rhys ignored him. “So she took a test, and there were definitely two little pink lines there.”

His entire face was a big smile now, and Azriel couldn’t help but smile too. He was so happy for Rhys and Feyre. They were going to be great parents.

“So, I wanted to tell you that you’re going to be uncles,” he announced.

Azriel and Cassian looked at each other. If Azriel wasn’t mistaken, he could see Cassian tear up.

“I’ll be the fun uncle,” Cass exclaimed as if anyone would ever question that.

Azriel took a seat next to Cassian as they continued talking for a while. Az couldn’t help but notice that Rhys seemed almost equally happy about the fact that he was now allowed to eat meat and drink coffee again.

“So, Rhys, just to be clear. You only called us in here this early to tell us that you were going to be a father? That couldn’t wait?”

“Obviously, it couldn’t wait,” Rhys answered matter of factly. “But no, that wasn’t the only reason. There’s a problem with the online subscriptions that I need you to look at.”

“What’s the problem?”

“I have no idea. That’s why I hired you.”

Azriel spent the entire morning sorting out the problem. When he was finally done, it was time for lunch. Since he hadn’t been able to go home and bring the lunch he had prepared, he had to venture out for food. He decided to go to one of his favorite places in town; a small Vietnamese place within walking distance to the office. He ordered Phở and decided to eat his lunch there since he was a bit tired of staring into his computer screen. He took a seat in the corner next to the windows looking out over the street and started a podcast on his phone as he dug into his noodle soup. It was delicious, as always, and he didn’t really pay attention to anything but the food and the podcast. This is why he didn’t notice that someone had sat down at his table until a female voice started speaking to him. He had just shoved some noodles into his mouth as he looked up to see who was talking to him, and his heart almost stopped.

It was her. Flower Girl ASMR. Elain.

Azriel had noodles hanging out of his mouth and his brain couldn’t decide if he should just push all of it into his mouth, or take a bite and let the rest fall into his bowl, so he just sat there; looking and feeling like a fool.

“Azriel,” Elain greeted him when his eyes met hers. His brain couldn’t comprehend that she was here, at one of his favorite restaurants, while he was listening to a true-crime podcast. Azriel quickly swallowed what was in his mouth and removed his headphones. He could feel himself blush.

“Elain,” he breathed, feeling warm and sweaty all of a sudden. “What are you doing here?”

She laughed. She had a lovely laugh. “Nice to see you too. Is it good?”

“What?”

“The food,” she gestured to the bowl, “is it good?”

“Yes, very.” Azriel didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t expected to see her here. He had actually not expected to ever hear from her again if she had seen him outside of her store this morning.

Elain looked around. “This place is really cute. I’ve never been here before, but my employees recommended it.”

That explained why she was there.

“Yeah, it’s the best Vietnamese food in town.”

“I’ll take your word for it. You seemed to really enjoy it.” She smiled at him, and he was suddenly very aware of the fact that she had seen him eat. He had no idea what he looked like when he ate, but he felt very self-conscious all of a sudden.

“So, you live in Velaris?” Azriel asked after a short stretch of silence.

She nodded. “Mhm. I moved here a few years ago and opened my shop. Speaking of, did I see you this morning?” She was eyeing him suspiciously.

Azriel felt himself go completely still. Fuck. She had seen him. His life was over. Mentally, he started to prepare to move away from Velaris. Maybe he should just move to Australia? Or maybe Siberia? Anywhere far, far away.

He felt himself shake his head in answer, hoping that she believed him.

She raised an eyebrow “Really?”

She looked down at her lap and he could hear her tap on her phone, and then Azriel’s phone, which was conveniently sitting on the table, was ringing.

Fucking Barbie Girl.

He had forgotten to put it on silent again. He was going to murder Cassian.

The screen lit up with her name, and he knew he was busted.

He expected her to tell him to never contact her again. He expected her to kick him under the table and call him a creep. And god, did he deserve it. But, to his surprise, she laughed.

“Interesting music choice. I wouldn’t have pegged as a 90’s euro-pop lover.”

“I’m not,” he muttered under his breath. “This is my friend’s idea of humor. I am going to kill him as soon as I get back to the office.”

“Please don’t. You’re too pretty to go to jail,” Elain joked, and Azriel felt himself blush - again.

He took a deep breath and decided to try to explain the situation. “About this morning... I was just doing my morning workout. I promise I was not stalking you.”

“I didn’t think you were stalking me. I mean, did you even know I lived in Velaris?”

Azriel was just about to answer when Elain’s name was called. She got up and picked up her food from the girl behind the register. She walked back to his table and held up the brown paper bag, “Well, I have to go. My employees need fuel.”

“It was really nice meeting you in real life, Elain. Sorry if I was weird,” Azriel apologized.

“Don’t apologize. I get it. I hate when people interrupt me when I eat. But when I saw you, I just felt like I had to say hi.”

Azriel smiled at her. “It was a welcome interruption. Enjoy your lunch!”

With a quick goodbye, she turned around and started to walk to the door. Azriel cursed himself. Why was he such a weirdo? Couldn’t he have been cool and mysterious? Why did he have to be some kind of awkward noodle-eating monster?

He was just about to drown himself in the remaining food in front of him when he saw Elain turn around and head for his table again.

“Would you like to do this again?” she asked, the question coming out quickly.

Azriel stared at her. “Do what?”

“See each other in real life.”

“Yes,” Azriel blurted out. “I would really like that.”

She gave him the sweetest smile and he felt like he was looking at the sun.

“Great! Are you free this Friday?”

Azriel didn’t tell her that he would make sure to be free any night she wanted to spend time with him.

Instead, he just said, “Yes, I’m free.”

“Good. I’ll text you.”

And with that, Elain exited the restaurant. Azriel was staring at his bowl of cold noodles, not feeling very hungry anymore. She had asked him out.

Elain, the prettiest girl alive, had asked him out.

If he had been a comic book character, he was certain that there would be small, pink hearts flying around his head.

She texted him later that night.

Elain It was lovely running into you today :) But damn that ringtone of yours! I’ve been singing Barbie Girl all day, haha!

Azriel Thank you for interrupting my lunch! Don’t tell anyone this, but I haven’t been able to get that stupid song out of my head either. But don’t worry, I was able to get my hands on my friend’s phone this afternoon and return the favor.

Elain Oooh! Which song did you pick?

Azriel Jizz in my pants by the Lonely Island.

Elain You’re evil! I love it!

Azriel So, for Friday. Would you be up for drinks?

Azriel wanted to suggest dinner, but drinks felt safer. If she thought that he was dull or weird, it would be easier for her to leave.

Elain Yes! That would be great. There is this new place that I’ve been dying to go to. It’s called Rita’s.

Azriel Rita’s it is! Shall we say at 8?

Elain It's a date! I’m really looking forward to it :)

Azriel Me too!

Azriel felt giddy. He felt like a teenager that had just been asked out by his crush. Or at least, he thought that this was the same feeling. He hadn’t really been asked out in High School. Elain had probably been popular, but he had been the emo-guy in the corner, listening to music nobody had ever heard.

However, the more he thought about Friday, the more nervous he became. What if he couldn’t find something interesting to talk about? What if she found him boring?

And worst of all; what the hell should he wear?

#elriel fanfic #elriel #elain x azriel #elain archeron #azriel x elain #azriel #acotar fanfiction #acotar #dottielovegoodfanfiction