Oceans of Emotions (part 2)
Warning: Mature
You sat uncomfortably in the bed next to Im-bum, feeling extremely strange you cleared your throat you pulled the silk bedding closer to your chest as you looked at him.
Im-bum: Um...this...mind closing your eyes so I could grab my clothes and leave the room for you to dress?
Nodding you closed your eyes, as you pulled the silk bedding to your eyes allowing Im-bum to get dressed.
Im-bum: I'll leave...ill wait for you down stairs.
Nodding Im-bum left the room, as you quickly jumped to your feet getting dressed arunning down the stairs to see Im-bum standing there awkwardly.
Y/n: Listen...about last night-
Im-bum: Don't worry, no one will know or more importantly we'll act as if it never happened.
Y/n: Y...yeah.
Im-bum: I'll leave you in peace then. He spoke, as he collected his things heading for the door when you ran up to him grabbing his hand in yours. Im-bum turned to look at you, his hand now holding yours in return, waiting for you to say something.
Y/n: Listen...about last night...
Im-bum: Yes.
Y/n: I...was it really that bad? You asked, as you looked up at him through your messy hair.
Im-bum: No. But with our history...i-
You cut off Im-bum, as you kissed him passionately.
Im-bum: Y/n...what are you doing? He asked, as he pulled away.
Y/n: Do you really think last night was a mistake? You questioned, as you started to unbutton his shirt.
Im-bum: I...y/n...
Im-bum couldn't hold himself back anymore as he kissed you tenderly.
After a few seconds, Im-bum picked you up as you wrapped your legs around his waist. He carried you both to the bedroom as he gently placed you down.
Im-bum took off his jacket, then his shirt. You instantly sat up and removed your summer dress and throwing it to the ground. You kissed Im-bum neck, as you unbuckled his belt...
Time skip
Im-bum: Um...
Im-bum started then you started giggling, turning into laughter causing Im-bum to laugh too.
Y/n: O no...that...hahaha.
Im-bum: That was interesting.
Y/n: Do you think we jumped the gun again? You asked, as you turned from your laying position and turned that your chest was on his chest.
Im-bum: No, not at all. I've missed this...I've missed you. He said, as he ran his hand through your hair.
Y/n: I've missed you too. Clearing your throat, you placed a hand on his face rubbing his cheekbone with your face. But...
Im-bum: But what? He questioned, as he pulled you closer.
Y/n: I...i don't know. You said, sitting up while covering your naked body with the silk sheets. What does this mean? We got caught up in our feelings of missing one another, that we just-
Im-bum: I have no regrets. I don't know what this means, but we can figure it out together. Don't you think? He asked, as he sat next to you while placing his hand on your lower back.
Y/n: I'd like that. But...but what about your father? You wondered, as you looked down on the bed.
Im-bum: I don't care what he thinks. I'm not going to let him get in the way, of us this time...promise. He said, kissing your cheek.
You didn't reply, as you leaned into him. Im-bum wrapped his arms around you, as he hugged your body against his.
Im-bum: Well figure it out. He spoke kissing your temple. One day at a time.
Y/n: Okay. We should get ready for work.
Im-bum: Can't we stay a little longer?
Y/n: No. You replied, trying to get up when Im-bum pulled you back as he hovered over you. Im-bum...what are-
Im-bum: Shh...just enjoy it. He whispered, in your ear as he started to nibble on your neck.
Y/n: Im-bum...w...ahhh. You moaned, as he lowered himself on you. A...ahhh. You let out another groan, as you started sucking closer to your breasts.
One of your hands clung to his hair, pulling at it slight while your other hand squeezed his shoulder as you felt breathless. Im-bum, was thrusting into you fast and hard making droplets of his sweat to drip on you which you didn't mind at all. Pulling away slightly, you bit down on his shoulder that you were squeezing and pulled him closer wanting to feel him more.
Im-bum, had sped up even faster making the headboard of your bed hit the wall as he wanted to give you both more pleasure. It was so intoxicating that you didn't want to leave the bedroom today.
Im-bum: A...are you...o...okay...ahhh. He moaned, after he asked you. Y...you feel...so good. Y...yes, oh...ahh. He moaned yet again which made you go crazy at the sounds he was making.
Y/n: Y...yes. Yes...j...just like that. You whimpered, as you pulled him closer as you started sucking on his neck.
Im-bum: Mmm...ahh, yes. Babe...i...I'm going to...AHHH! He moaned, as he released himself. Im-bum was still trusting into you, wanting you to feel your orgarms as you finally snapped and released yourself too.
Y/n: IM-BUM, AHHH! you yelled out his name as you walls collapsed over him.
Im-bum breathed heavily, as he kissed your lips. Rolling off your body, he laid beside you as both your breathing was heavy.
Im-bum: T...that was incredible.
Y/n: Your amazing Im-bum. You replied, as you kissed his chest. Shall we clean up for work together?
Im-bum: You want to shower together?
Y/n: Yes. Besides I have a very big shower, it'll be fun.
Im-bum: Are you sure you don't just want to use my body, for shower sex? He asked, with a laugh.
Y/n: W...what no. I just...i thought it'll be nice to get...well to be ready together. If you don't want to...we don't ha-
Im-bum kissed you with a smile on his face as he pulled away.
Im-bum: I'm just teasing you. He spoke, as he ruffled your hair. Let's go. He whispered, as he picked you up going to the bathroom.
Time skip to work
As you finish putting on your jacket, you felt Im-bum's arms wrap around your waist.
Im-bum: What do you say we go out for dinner tonight? He asked, as he kissed the skin behind your ear.
Y/n: Mmm...i...i don't know. You said turning in his arms wrapping your around his neck. I just...until we figure out completely what we're going to do I don't want anyone seeing us together. I...i hope you understand. Im-bum...i don't want you to misunderstand it in anyway.
Im-bum: What's there to misunderstand? Don't worry, if you want to wait for a while then we can wait. He replied with a smile, giving you a kiss on your lips. We can have dinner here tonight, we'll get something on the way back here...if it's okay if I stay the night again.
Y/n: Of course. You might want to bring some of your stuff over her to keep just in case. We can put some of your clothes in the closet, an extra toothbrush this side...whatever you want...that's if you want to. You said, as you fixed his jacket.
Im-bum: I think after what happened between us, it wouldn't be that strange.
You started blushing, at what Im-bum said. He laughed at your flustered form, as he kissed your temple and took your hand in his.
Y/n: We'll just have to go our separate ways near the hospital.
Im-bum: Okay.
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Podsumowanie 2023
Zaczęłam terapię psychodynamiczną na miejscu. Zrobiłam duży krok do przodu w terapii. Nie wszystko już jest albo czarne albo białe. Postawiłam na szczerość. Poznałam i polubiłam siebie. Zdystansowałam się do swoich przeżyć i domu rodzinnego. Od połowy roku nie mam już myśli samobójczych ani tym podobnych, a nawet bardzo polubiłam się ze swoim życiem. Zakończyłam terapię psychodynamiczną.
Do tego odważyłam się przyznać, że mam problem z lekami i trafiłam również na terapię uzależnień.
Brałam za dużo opio i rzygałam. Rzygałam w domu, w samochodzie, na uczelni… Spałam, nie ogarniałam.
Zaliczyłam mocną psychozę i trafiłam do szpitala na dwa okropne, dłużące się miechy. Zdiagnozowali mi schizofrenię. Było strasznie. Uciekałam, zapinali mnie w pasy, najdłużej w nich byłam 2 bite dni – paskudne przeżycie. Po wyjściu również przez jakiś czas było okropnie.
Oblałam też przez to drugi semestr studiów.
Uniknęłam nawrotu zaburzeń odżywiania (bo dostałam epizodu psychotycznego, ale mniejsza), lecz przeszłam na zdrową redukcję.
Zaczęłam regularnie brać leki, bo pierwszy raz w życiu mam je dobrze dobrane.
Ogólnie zadbałam o regularność i sumienność we wszystkim i o dziwo idzie jak z płatka. Trzymam się swoich planów. I zrealizowałam większość postanowień noworocznych: (1) Hello there na Tumblrze
Byłam na kursie z Pokojowego Patrolu. Bardzo mi nie podszedł.
Zrobiłam również Kurs szkolenia podstawowego ze Straży. 2 razy byłam na manewrach i 2 razy na osach.
Popracowałam troszkę jako listonosz i zaczęłam pracować sprzątając pokoje w agroturystyce.
Pożegnałam Pipi, najlepszą kurę domową.
Pożegnałam bliską mi osobę.
Spełniłam swoje dwa koncertowe marzenia – Jacka Bończyka i grandsona. Byłam również na koncercie Harrego Pottera Symfonicznie, Visual Concert, Muzyki z Gier oraz Michała Bajora.
Pare razy odwiedziłam teatr.
Byłam na Burleqsce i na Ballecie.
Z D. byliśmy trzy razy na strzelance, dwa razy na stand-upie, dwa razy w kinie i dwa razy w knajpie.
Wzięłam 3x w grzyby, żaden trip nie był przyjemny, a raz nawet miałam pierwszego bad tripa.
Uczestniczyłam w 5 biegach, w tym jednym OCR. 2 razy stanęłam na podium.
Zapisałam się na 3 różne zajęcia z jogi (vinsaya, balanse i aerial ❤ ), spróbowałam kick-boxingu i wpisałam się na roczny kurs High Heels.
Skoczyłam na szybki weekend do Zawoi.
Pojechałam na parę dni do domu, nad morze.
W końcu odwiedziłam A. i było kozacko.
Stuknął nam kolejny rok z D. i kolejny rok w nowym mieszkaniu.
Miałam świetne urodziny.
Adoptowaliśmy psa.
Otrzymałam rentę.
Cały rok (poza szpitalem) prowadziłam dzienniczki i jestem z nich megadumna. Pozwoliły rozbudować moją kreatywność, uporządkować codzienną rutynę i się jej trzymać oraz są świetnym wspomnieniem (czy chociażby ściągą do tego podsumowania ;)).
Obejrzałam 35 filmów, 8 seriali, a film roku to Dr. Strangelove, jak przestałem się martwić i pokochałem bombę
Przeczytałam 23 książki, a ta najlepsza to Zniewolone dzieciństwo.
A piosenka: Harnold :D
Podsumowując, ciężki, ale w ostatecznym rozrachunku bardzo dobry, rozwojowy rok.
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