#drags my hands down my face

[cemeterything]

insomnia is such a no win scenario all the advice for it is like "fix your sleep schedule by going to bed at a regular time" "don't eat too late" "don't use electronic devices just before bed" but whenever i do all that sure, i fall asleep faster, but i can't stay asleep for longer than 3-4 hours. and i'd rather go to bed super late and have a night of interrupted sleep than wake up 5 times a night more pissed off and disoriented each time.

#🐉 #drags my hands down my face

[le-trash-prince]

someone posted JeffAlan pictures set to Jaehyun x dear’s Try Again and I am fucking INCONSOLABLE DO Y’ALL KNOW WHAT THIS SONG DOES TO ME

#fuck me up the ass #DRAGS MY HANDS DOWN MY FACE #ALL THEY HAVE IS LIKE FIVE MINUTES OF SHARED SCREENTIME AND A CHEEK SNIFF KISS AND YET IM LOSING MY MIND #pit babe the series #pit babe #em post #alanjeff #jeffalan

[pareidoliajules]

So after last night's episode of the boys (which I have Several thoughts about), I feel I simply must say it again: Antony Starr is an incredible actor.

I'll hold off on my character analysis for the moment to just talk about how Antony Starr used his physicality in the most important scenes - starting with where he finds out Noir noped the fuck out.

Not only is he scared - actual, real fear, just like we saw when he first saw the camera footage of Soldier Boy - but he's hurt. And not just in the "ow that bruised my ego" way. He almost starts crying. You can see the tears in his eyes. When he leans in close to The Deep, you can literally see the reflection in the shine of his eyes. Another actor's attempt at this would've felt out of character or melodramatic, but with Antony Starr, the audience clocks it as maybe one of five instances of genuine emotion from a man whose most common "emotions", if you can call it that, are "murder", "sex", and "[preens]".

Which brings me to the next scene. I was already like, oh, shit, this is gonna be his best episode to date (which is saying something, because again, Antony Starr Is So Good). The scene where he's talking to himself in the mirror has so many tiny, beautiful expressions that say so much. My boyfriend fiance pointed out that the mirror scene was a definite homage to Willam DeFoe's Green Goblin (specifically the "Yahtzee!" moment), and I think it's fair to say that they're definitely on the same level (and Willam DeFoe is also So Good). For perhaps the first time, we see Homelander, stripped. He is entirely alone. He has no one to perform for; no one to impress or intimidate. He is only himself, but even still, he is divided.

...I said I wouldn't get into character discussion in this post. So. Antony Starr had two difficult tasks: playing off himself (instead of another human to work with), and playing two drastically different emotions. For the sake of clarity, I'll refer to them as Homelander and Mirror!Homelander.

We see Homelander's "last shred of humanity" more clearly here than anywhere. Antony Starr portrays a victim of abuse faced with his abuser, where their abuser is positioning themself as his savior. Antony Starr is a tall, sturdy man, but he makes himself look so small, so young as Mirror!Homelander confronts him. He is a child, scared of the world outside and the world within (Mirror!Homelander). We see Homelander sans bravado, sans ego, sans everything that makes Homelander the character we've seen over the past 2.5 seasons, and instead of seeming out of character, or seeming expected (in the sense of oh no the poor little meow meow had a tough childhood), it opens up a crater of emotion, of depth, of pity for this monster of a person. That would not be possible with another actor, I am positive of this.

Now let's talk about Mirror!Homelander. This is more what we expect from Homelander - big emotions. Anger. Righteous indignation. But it doesn't start that way. It starts soft, the way Homelander tried to approach Ryan - the way he would speak to a scared child. It ramps up, it borrows language from Stormfront, and it comes again to this idea of purity, of being clean. That humanity, even the humanity within Homelander himself - the humanity that has been more or less hidden behind...all of the everything - that humanity is the problem. This is an abuser talking to his victim; telling this scared little boy that he will help and he will protect him from the outside world (and whatever the "bad room" is, which I Will Not talk about right now, I won't!!!), just so long as the little boy does exactly what he says. Mirror!Homelander is the worst of what we've seen of real Homelander, and again, by another actor, it would have felt...overdone, or at least obvious. But Antony Starr's performance makes it clear that whatever pain he inflicts on the world around him (and it is a lot of pain!), he's also inflicting pain on himself, to the point where Homelander has to completely divorce himself from the source of it.

In the last scene with Homelander, after the fight, we only see real!Homelander, standing stock still in front of that mirror. What is Mirror!Homelander saying to him? How is he explaining what just happened to himself? How does he justify the fact that he ran away from a fight between his should-be-dead hero, his nemesis, and a naked twink?

What is Homelander doing to himself, that none of us can see?

#the boys #homelander #the boys meta #antony starr #this was hands down the best episode of the season by FAR and not bc of the sex or the fighting #but because of the CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT #drags my hands down my face

[aesethewitch]

I got literally nothing else done today because I was so freaked out all day long about this fucking duplicate order situation. If I can calm down enough, I'll do free tarot as usual, maybe streaming because I want to get affiliate on Twitch so I can have little emotes and points and such. I'm just like. fuckin' shaking.

In other news, my shufflemancy "what to expect" reading this morning was 100% incorrect for the day. Just a fun fact.

#aese speaks #drags my hands down my face

[espectres]

5 am ...

#this is a RANT ok im tired #i adore seeing young ppl grow their talents and enjoy themselves a safe & fun place they create for themselves #i 100% support them b u t #being surrounded by toddlers in this fandom is driving me nuts fr #im the type of person who likes browsing for fanarts of characters in the tags its like tiktok to me so naturally i check the shou tag often #and idk why or when it has happened but minors are everywhere and their hivemind is ruining it for me cuz the extreme lack of literacy #this is me asking for too much I KNOW but it's just frustrating ok ? ok. i just want to see these characters in good interesting concepts #instead the fandom makes it sound like the mp100 anime is some sort of Saturday cartoon for kids that plays as background noise #as they eat cereals #drags my hands down my face #ok im done i go sleep now gn ( gm ? ) #𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇 ; ooc.

[nsewell]

that marsh scene was so heavy how am i supposed to work in these conditions. he’s ready to die but he’s holding on bc he blames himself for scadrial’s fate. between him, kelsier, and sazed he’s not sure what would happen to them if even one of them were gone. asking marasi to call him marsh bc he never hears his name anymore.

#tlm spoilers #DRAGS MY HANDS DOWN MY FACE

[deityforged]

there's something so poignant in the phrase "I know he's special. I raised him." that bagheera spoke about mowgli in the jungle book that makes me think about ashmi's character.

over the years, she's turned a new leaf from a monster to more of a guardian of the forest, who helps lost children return to their villages, and it just makes me wonder how many times she almost wished to keep them for herself, as selfish as it is, just to have a little child of her own, a companion for herself.

which then just has me thinking about ashmi self ostracizing herself again in india - not more so for pity sake , or to keep the villages safe, but more that..... she's kinda stuck in time ? she doesn't modernize with india as it grows, she's stuck in a long ago time, and finds it hard to fit in. she finds it hard to grow, it's one of her many flaws.

but every time she brings a child back to their town - and looks back at the forest she returns to time and time again, there's a little part of her that wants to leave.

#headcanon. #drags my hands down my face #it's just not easy at all for her to #that has been her life for DECADES

[frezes]

she .....

#out. #drags my hands down my face #do i do it ..... #sighs

[elotes-room]

someone tell if this exists out there but, i wish there was a site or app or something that was solely for collecting links... like, say i want to save a really cool piece of art i found on twitter, an article on the publishers’ own website, a tumblr post containing poetry, etc. i wish there was something where i could collect all of that and be able to organize them (like bookmarks on instagram/pinterest)... and yea, i could throw all of that onto a google doc or something but that lacks the organization i’m looking for. that and ALSO, you know how when you send a twitter link through discord it just shows the tweet in its entirety? i need that visual aspect too... arrghhhh..

#brocc thoughts #i'd save myself so much time and effort if i could do that... #drags my hands down my face

[firstdance]

day 2 of yearning for rukihime

#* ❅. ◞ 𝗢𝗨𝗧‚ i’m gay &. stronger than you. #i have so many thoughts about them it’s insane #drags my hands down my face

[redlegend-a]

You’re trapped here, aren’t you, even if you like to say it’s of your own volition.

#ooc #DRags MY HANDS DOWN MY FACE

[fanfolds]

GOD i’m so annoyed. i had such a bad habit of closing dms of people i didn’t vibe with or just didn’t talk to and after my abuser i stopped doing that but i think even after that callout i shut a few because i was losing track of dms with the literal 50+ different people messaging me a week but. i was trying to find my dms with ziro and they are goneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. dude. like. the pet names were so fucking creepy and knowing he was a cishet dude was like giving me the heebie jeebies and not that all cishet dudes are bad, i’m dating one and he’s the most compassionate and loving and kind person i’ve ever met, but like. dude. the vibes were just. not fucking good.

i wish i could remember exactly what he said but dude he’d send weird asks too like

sometimes the messages were nice you know like just things friends do to check in on you like a meme or something or “hey hope you’re doing ok!” etc that shit but then he’d make it weird and i just wish i could SEE it and have proof of that and i’m gonna go crazy actually.

why can’t people be normal. like. jesus christ. i’m not a trusting person by nature, not since the shinosays shit happened when i was 17 lol that incident affects my interaction with every cishet dude on the internet, especially the white ones, and it’s because of that that i’m so traumatized by cishet men on the internet. like the shit shinosays pulled on me is going to sit with me forever but anyways.

lord. i’m so fucking sick of men like that. i hate that people like ziro take advantage of women in the way they do and i’m sorry to everyone who had to put up with that in the way they did

#lil rant about last reblog #drags my hands down my face #ooc. #tbd. #negative - #.

[hirudou]

ive been looking thru all my old lan chen art

man,,, why did i let one bad thing ruin my love of this oc. he's so fun and so well developed, and unique. and im p proud of myself tbh, like i dont mean to toot my own horn here( or maybe i do ). but i fit him into the world so well. and rounded him out so much. i gave him believable relationships, and connections. and a fairly open ended and flexible plot and story.

#tbd. / 🍁 #drags my hands down my face #i mean ig #like im over it now #i love him so damn much #his design too #just APPEALS to my eyes #its so simple #but not boring #his personality is in line with what i love in a character #aloof but charming #and adaptable to situations #like like #he goes from babie lan #to jin babie #to rogue cultivator #ITS SO GOOD

[foxglovelullaby]

dyslexia core is unironically typing jesse pikmin every fucking time and not understanding why searches are empty

#drags my hands down my face #purrsonal post #it doesnt help those are like two of my main interests rn sobs

[zillyeh]

zippie as a werewolf actually makes a lot more sense than anything else if only bc she is already plagued by violent energy that she is only just getting the hang of and thinks she’s too dangerous to be around lmao

#Zilly rambles #spiral as the wolf that turned her (derogatory) #drags my hands down my face #jeltik as. good god what the fuck can i even make sunseeker #hellhound that somehow kept his mind and is a reaper but a werewolf...............

[visionwrote]

i. i didn't think i'd have to add this to my rules because i assumed people were decent but i'll say it here too: if you write / support kae/luc in any way, do not touch any of my blogs at all. you are not welcome here.

#( ooc. ) #drags my hands down my face #it feels like common sense to not ship siblings but the rpc disappoints me once again i suppose