The Deal
Drug Lord!Yoongi x Coffee Shop Owner!Reader
Genre: Strangers to Lovers!AU, Angst, Fluff, Smut
Chapter 23.
Series Warnings (Will Be Updated): Mentions of Drugs and Drug Deals, Blood, Smut, Emotional Damage, Love, Gunshot Wounds
Warnings For This Chapter: Blood, Gunshot, Depressing Thoughts
"Do you want to make any changes to the house?" Yoongi inquires, opening the car door for you.
The whole ride over to the event, he's been incredibly considerate and incredibly sweet.
In some strange way it feels as if you're already married or something.
Although in a way, you guess you are.
"I haven't really thought about it," you breathe, stepping out of the car.
Yoongi wraps his arm around your shoulders, kissing your temple sweetly. "Well if you want to make it more domestic or more your own then you're more than welcome to do so. Just know that everything we do, we pay in cash. So you tell me what you want and I'll get it done for you." he promises.
You're blown away by how much he's changed daily. But it only makes your thoughts and assumptions ring true. All of your ideas that Yoongi was just jaded and child-like because he grew up that way continues to ring true.
Now with the opportunity to grow and lean on someone else -- he's blossoming.
He's becoming the man he always could have been if Sedra hadn't stunted his growth as a person.
"Maybe we can make a garden or something, that'd be wonderful," you suggest.
"You like to garden?" he asks, opening the door for you.
"Never tried it before but it always seemed fun."
"Then we'll get you a garden," he quips, unbuttoning his suit jacket.
The loud jazz music begins to bleed through the event space and you're almost consumed by it in a mere instant.
When heads turn to you, they stare and you're ready to make yourself smaller, ready to get insecure before you remember that large tiger on your chest.
Yoongi taps the underside of your chin, silently reminding you to stay strong and stay above it all.
"They're staring," you hiss through your teeth, bowing to people when they bow first.
"Let them." Yoongi simply replies, kissing your cheek.
He grabs two glasses of champagne, handing you one as people begin to flock over to you.
You haven't ever even met most of these people. You've only ever seen them in passing or in the book you rigorously studied to know who were in the mob families.
"Well," you hear someone exclaim, shoving through the groups of people that surround you. "It seems as if Min Yoongi has found himself a keeper."
The voice belongs to none other than Olive.
She gives you a kiss on either cheek, brandishing a wicked smile.
"Hello Olive," Yoongi drolls, running his thumb over your side soothingly.
"Soraya, come say hi to Yoongi's wife," Olive breathes, staring at your tattoo.
You're sure that she's trying to find a flaw and you're so completely confident in her not being able to find one that you turn your attention to the woman on her right.
She's simply gorgeous with long brunette hair that ends just above her tailbone. She's in a pretty black gown with diamonds scattered on every inch of skin you can see.
"Hi, nice to meet you," she chirps, giving you a kind smile.
Her voice is sweet, not the tiniest bit of sarcasm or wit to be found.
"Soraya, how are you?" your boyfriend smiles, leaning in to kiss her cheek.
You're suddenly reminded of how close Yug used to be with the family and you're not surprised that Yoongi is fond of this seemingly soft woman.
"I'm very happy for you," she squeals to the scarred man and he chuckles in reply.
"Thank you very much. Y/N is amazing."
"Yes, yes. Very well done Yoongi. But I can't help but think… what would Sedra say?" Olive muses, looking down at her nails.
Yoongi clamps a cigar between his teeth, raising an eyebrow at how bold the woman has become in an instant.
You strike a match for him, putting it to his cigar and he winks at you with amusement alight in his mocha irises.
"I think she would be so unamused that she'd have to rely on Jae for all of his drearily witty comments."
Olive's snide smirk falters and she seems displeased by how unaffected the drug lord is by her words.
"Well she couldn't be here tonight because she's giving birth. Any thoughts on that?" the heiress grinds out, looking at the both of you.
Yoongi puffs on his cigar, letting the smoke lazily drift past his lips engulfing her in a shroud of smoke.
"I think that's wonderful. I hope her and Jae have a very healthy baby and I can only hope that Y/N has a healthy baby in the future when we start trying. Now, if you'll excuse us, I promised my old lady some gambling." the scarred man quips, pressing his hand to your lower back and ushering you away from them.
"It was nice to meet you, Soraya! I hope to talk again soon!" you beam, wrapping your arms around Yoongis.
"Me too! So nice to mee-"
"Oh shut up, Soraya!" Olive snaps, stamping her foot.
The evening seems to flow by quickly.
You never thought you'd ever be so invested in gambling games but it's turning out to be very interesting as the night continues.
No matter which table you end up at, whether it's blackjack or Chinese poker -- Yoongi excels at it.
He's the luckiest son of a bitch within these fanciful estate walls.
You've been finding the chocolate fountain and the multitude of pastries being served by waiters to be one of the more incredible parts of the evening.
Even after small verines of wonderfully paired raspberry jellies and chocolate ganaches, it's simmered down to small macarons that accompany the dessert wines quite well.
Yoongi has attended to you so thoroughly throughout the night it's hard to believe that he ever closed off and distant. He showers you with attention, with love, everything grandiose in feeling.
You've sat on his lap throughout the night, accepting narrowed looks from women with smaller tattoos with no gold outline and even smaller diamonds scattered across their declate.
It's funny to think of how absolutely against this you were. You swore from the very beginning that you'd never be comfortable enough with him to end up perching on his lap at any event. And yet, now it's the only place you'd want to be seated.
When the drug lord touches you, he makes his actions very public. He's showing everyone in the room just exactly how important you are to him and to his family. He's showing them who to never mess with or it will be a bloody messy end for all of them.
"Sorry," Yoongi breathes, putting his cards face up on the table.
"No! Min, I'm sick of this! You've won every hand for the past forty minutes!" Yoo Han shouts, tossing his cards onto the table.
Yoo Han, one of the only men in the angel dust business, has been losing his money to your boyfriend for pretty much a good, solid hour.
And he's getting sick of it.
Clearly.
"I'm sorry, Han. That's just how to cookie crumbles. Maybe my old lady is bringing me more luck than I thought she would," Yoongi chirps, angling your face down for a kiss.
You smile into the kiss before hearing your name from behind.
Turning your head, you spot him.
Amidst all the men from your family and his, you can only stare at him.
Yoongi sighs loudly at the sound of his voice, his hand grips your hip and he looks up at you with weary eyes.
"I'll just be a minute. I promise." you whisper, combing your fingers through his black hair.
"I don't like it," he hisses in your ear.
"I have a great big tattoo reminding him who I'm with," you reply, kissing his scar.
He lets go of your hip, nodding his head begrudgingly.
When you stand and turn to Hyunwoo, he stops in his tracks. His eyes narrow at your new tattoo and his jaw becomes taut at the sight.
"You know, I'm thinking that your old lady slid you those cards!"
"Hi," you breathe, approaching him with a small smile.
"H-Hey," your former customer murmurs.
"Don't be so ridiculous, where would she be hiding them!?" you hear Yoongi guffaw.
"Maybe up that little tiger cunt."
"Don't you dare talk about my old lady that way! Who the fuck do you think you're talking to right now?!"
"So you guys are official now," Hyunwoo gawks, drifting his hand over your collarbone.
"Yeah...Yeah we are. Yoongi put everything on the line and so did I," you tell him.
You can tell that he's disappointed, maybe even upset but he tries to mask it with a smile.
"Well… that's good… Is he treating you properly? He was a real asshole last time I saw him." your former date inquires, folding his arms.
"Seems to me like you think you're the king of the castle now that you got hitched! Maybe someone's gotta put you and your little tiger bitch in place!"
"You're walking a fine line here, pal. The next sentence that comes out of your mouth about my woman… I'll rip your jaw off and shove it so far up your ass that your stomach is gonna be doin' the talking for you!"
"He's treating me very well. He's grown in a lot of ways," you promise, smiling to yourself when you think of all the sweet things that your boyfriend has done for you so far.
"Well good I'm glad that you're hap-"
"We're leaving," your boyfriend hisses in your ear, putting his hand on your back.
You look up at him with knit eyebrows and when you open your mouth, the sound of a gunshot echoes through the ballroom.
The screams of terror that emit seem to fade in and out of your ears like some kind of transcendent music.
You find yourself falling weightlessly against your boyfriend and his eyes are wide with fright.
There's more gunfire and screaming that seems to lull you to and from reality.
"Oh baby!" Yoongi screams, falling to his knees with you in his arms.
You don't even register that you've been hurt until you lift your heavy head.
Your gold dress is slowly seeping with red blood and all at once your body screams from the pain.
Yoongi's eyes well with tears and he's screaming so loudly for your brother that your heart stammers. He tears off his suit jacket, pressing it hard to your chest.
"Oh, my baby doll! Oh my fucking God!" he shouts, drifting his blood covered hand over his face.
Time seems to become sluggish at this moment, your vision is starting to double and you can hear your heart pounding in your ears.
"Yoongi," you whisper, raising a hand to his face.
"You're gonna be okay, baby doll. I promise. I fucking promise," he wails loudly, coddling you to his body.
"NOONA!" Jeongguk bellows, falling to his knees beside you.
When you cough, the small dots of blood that fleck your brother's face has him silenced in an instant. Guk begins to shake, eyes glossing over with tears and he presses down on top of Yoongi's hand over your ribs.
Yoongi flags over the medic in attendance, watching as people flee the ballroom in a stampede.
Hyunwoo shuts his eyes, turning away from the scene entirely with the shake of his head.
Yoongi tears your dress away from your chest at the request of the medic and all of the family avert their gaze out of politeness.
"Y-Yoongi," you cry, finally feeling the pain soar through your veins.
"Shhh, I'm right here baby. I'm right here. You're okay. I promise… I fucking promise," he whimpers, pressing his forehead to your temple.
Between gasping for air that seems to be coming in short supply and coughing and sputtering on blood, you're losing reality.
"Baby! You gotta stay with me, sweetheart! Look at me! Baby doll, look at me!" Yoongi begs, tilting your face up to his.
"Her lung is collapsing, I have to-"
Then the world snuck away from you.
Waking up, your throat is so sore and dry that it feels like paper mache that can crack at any second.
It's difficult to feel anything besides the pain that radiates through your chest. It feels as if someone has stuck their hand into a vat of lava and then punched a hole through your lung.
Your eyelids are heavy, almost to the point that they feel like they'll never open again.
But something triumphs all of this in a second.
There's a rhythmic squeezing to your hand, one that feels like a heartbeat and you immediately know it's your man.
You force your eyelids open, squinting at the bright light of the room.
You take in the room for a second, recognizing the movie posters and the model cars on display.
You squeeze his hand back when your voice fails to leave you.
Yoongi, who's been so desperately waiting by your side, springs his head up at your touch.
"Baby doll," he sobs, falling out of the chair beside the bed to his knees.
His face has bruises and cuts and his moustache and beard have grown to an unruly length.
"W-Wate-"
"Shhh, I got you." he says quickly, grabbing the glass pitcher from the bedside table.
You whimper at the pain, letting your eyes flutter shut.
"I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I know it must hurt so badly. I wish I could take this pain away." your boyfriend hisses, lifting your head to help you sip the water.
You have so many questions but it's difficult to string words together.
"The doctor has kept you sedated for two weeks so you wouldn't hurt yourself. You're going to make a full recovery. The bull-The bullet went through your lung but you're going to be fine."
He sounds so dull, so lost like he's been through hell these past two weeks and all you want to do is coddle him to you but your limbs are sore and tired.
"I'm so sorry, baby. I love you so much. Forgive me, please." Yoongi begs, drifting his lips over the back of your hand.
"I love you too."
It's the first sentence you're able to utter and you find it apt for your life at the moment.
Yoongi has done a lot of thinking these past two weeks. He drank more than he ever has even when he was a depressed teen. Just to see you fall… to see you crumble into his arms has scarred him deeper than the cut on his face.
He barely ate.
He barely slept.
He didn't want to shower or do anything that would take him away from your side.
When you were finally stable enough to get into surgery, the waiting, it practically killed him.
He wasn't sure what he would do if you didn't make it.
He didn't know if he could exist anymore without you by his side.
When Jeongguk made him leave your side, he would sit in his office and stare at the golden box with the bullet that brandishes his name.
Yoongi fought through so many thoughts, depressing and enlightening alike.
The drug lord chastised himself for letting you in, he beat himself up over letting you get the tattoo. His heart was so full of love for you that he didn't think twice about you getting it. But while he waited for the surgery to be complete -- he hated himself for putting you in such danger.
When the surgery was finally over after hours and hours of excruciating waiting… he pulled himself together. There was no reason to berate himself for what has already happened -- it wouldn't change anything.
You wouldn't be burning off your tattoo anytime soon. So, he decided to make himself stronger.
It isn't easy, not by any means. With every day you've been sedated, finding hope seemed fewer and far between.
Last week, when your body started to break down due to shock -- so did Yoongi.
He contemplated a life without you, he tried his hardest to forget the smiles you've given him and tried to murder the hope for happiness blossoming in his heart.
He told your brother that there was no point in waiting for you to wake up and your brother beat him back to life. The cuts and bruises on his face are proof of that.
"You need to wake up! She's going to be fine! She's not fucking dying! You put that tattoo on her chest, you swore to protect her and you keep up your fucking end! I don't care if you're my boss! Talk about Y/N like she's already gone again and you'll wish that you were!"
Your brother was right, of course. Yoongi recognized this as his blood stained the grass under his laid out body.
You're not going anywhere.
Neither is he.
"What ha-happened?" you croak, looking down at your bandaged ribs.
To remember such a thing makes your boyfriend shiver. He squeezes your hand tight, drawing it to his cheek.
"Yoo Han was very upset that he was losing and I turned my back for two seconds and he shot you… He is no longer alive to make those dumb decisions again, nor is any of his family."
You swallow thickly, drifting your fingers over the neat, clean gauze pad.
"I-It's hard to breathe," you wheeze, looking up at the drug lord.
"I know, baby… but your lung is recovering very fast. You're going to feel brand new in just a few days," Yoongi promises.
You reach up, touching his unkempt beard and a small smirk etches onto your face.
He presses his hand to yours, keeping it close to his face. "I was so frightened I lost you, Y/N. I can't lose you… I'm nothing without you."
"Well… that's not true," you breathe, watching his eyes flutter shut.
"Yes it is. It's completely true. While you've been asleep all these days… I've felt so empty… So lost. I-I… I just love you so much," he avows, guiding your hand from his face to his heart.
"I'm here. I'm right here," you promise.
"You're my whole world. You've spun my life like a top and I lost my grip on reality without you," he gasps, bending down to kiss your lips softly.
He cringes when he presses his forehead to yours and you stare at the bruises that are turning yellow with the indication that they're healing.
"Who beat you up?" you murmur, drifting your thumb over his swollen cheek.
"Your brother," he quips with a small smile.
"Did you deserve it?" you chirp, grabbing the water with slow movements.
"Oh, yes. Yes, I did." he hisses, burying his face in your neck.
"Well just don't do it again." you chuckle, coursing your fingers through his hair at the nape of his neck.
"Never," he assures you.
There will never be a time where he thinks so negatively again.
He's your love, your protector, your man and he'll do everything and anything to keep you safe. The love that he has for you is infinite and everything below that is meaningless.
Absolutely meaningless.
<----- Last Chapter Next Chapter ---->
The Deal taglist – @jeon-junggoop, @btsarmy9593, @slothykrueger, @jcsmae, @milesjeon11, @cloudyblisss, @borahae-reads, @secretlycrazyhummingbird, @rjsmochii, @sugas-bbygirl, @ggukkieland, @hyungieyoongi, @chxmachxps, @dvalitaes, @vintageroses10, @maerawrrr, @flowerblu00, @veronawrites, @seoqity, @wozwaid, @hisbutton-nose, @sweetempathprunetree, @jinsearthh, @codeinebelle, @serious-addiction, @bt21chim, @rosquilleta, @dunixxd, @rkchmestizangmaldita, @openup-yourmind, @shesaysweirdthings, @marslena, @deathkat657, @yoonlattesworld, @that-funny-alien-28, @clutterfied, @belladaises, @silentkei, @btsnina, @shydestinyyouth, @thefreddieman, @kkklaudiaaa17, @moonchild1, @ronie1974, @jeonghanniehae,
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The way that I'm dying over Tio Yoongi dhfdsfgjjyjnjjk 🤣🤣 I can't unsee it now 💀💀
I would be an awesome Tia just saying 😏
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for the night | min yoongi
title: for the night
pairing: drug lord!min yoongi x waitress!(f)reader
genre/rating: angst, childhood best friends to strangers to friends??, unrequited love, valentine’s day au, smut, romance, 18+
summary: Yoongi lives a dangerous life. So why is he so afraid of you?
warnings: idk what to say about these two, just a bunch of feelings (spoken & unspoken), light pining, pov switches, mentions d*ath & grieving, mentions dr*gs and violence, swearing, bl**d & injuries, p*stol wh*pping/ mild description of t*rture, crooked justice systems (it’s the wild wild west out there), mentions a robbery & a**ault (nothing involving the main story), mentions illnesses & health related topics, alcohol/drinking but no intoxication unless you count staring at yoongi for too long, black hair with the undercut yoongi, chains, rings, TATTOOS…. oh my !!!, yoongi has a gl*ck (a piece, that iron… whatever you wanna call it), everybody’s shipping these two but they’re just…yeah, eye f*cking from both parties, explicit content, the friend version of kiss & makeup??, dry h*mping, Dom!yoongi, yoongi getting head is a warning, protected s*x, gagging/deep throating, throat/face f*cking, hair pulling, crying, i’m sure yoongi has Sir kink hiding in there somewhere, manhandling, face slapping, yoongi’s fingers down your throat, missionary with your leg over yoongi’s shoulder, big d*ck!yoongi, his jewelry stays on bc why would it not?, cl*t stimulation, teasing, spitting, org*sm control, c*m shots, body worship, p*ssy eating, throat grabbing, i think that's all...
wc: 11.6k
release date: february 16, 2024; 10:15pm est
note: sorry i took forever. this is my first oneshot in a while so i apologize for mistakes. i'm just finding my footing in this writing thing again. thanks to @itaeewon for my banner and @cafekitsune who makes these pretty dividers. please follow both of them for cool graphics. anyway, happy late valentine's day. i love you guys.
masterlist | playlist | ao3 version
“Enjoy the rest of your night… and be safe!”
As you wave goodbye to the last lovely couple dining at your restaurant tonight, you express how thrilled you are of their return.
You stand in front of your father’s little restaurant and watch the lovebirds bundle up as they make their way to their vehicle, embracing each other and protecting themselves from the same frigid temperatures that threatened to ruin their Valentine’s day plans.
It’s nights like these that make the sacrifice of putting your nursing career on hold well worth it. This neighborhood doesn’t have a lot to offer as far as entertainment goes, so keeping this place in business is your top priority. This is your home, and the people you love put their all into this establishment.
You’ll make sure it thrives and continues to be a source of comfort to the community.
You’re excited to tell your father about tonight’s turn out. You know he will be pleased. It’s been busy all day with dine-ins and take outs; everyone looking for the perfect date night meal.
“The food is made with love,” is what your dad always says.
He always looks forward to this time of year, and he’s always talked about seeing you sitting in one of his booths with a special someone of your own some day.
You only nod when he brings up your dating life; sometimes his love for you blinds him from reality. You’ve never brought anyone home, or ever mentioned being involved with someone to him. Even if you came out and said it, he’d never believe you’re the problem.
A chilly breeze in the mid-February air snaps you out of your thoughts—so as soon as the couple’s sedan departs from the parking lot—you slip back inside.
The warmth instantly envelopes your trembling figure, and draws a small exhale from your lips.
Looking at your watch, you notice that it’s almost midnight. You switch the sign from open to close, but don’t bother locking the door because there’s one more visitor that should be arriving shortly.
You keep that in mind as you begin to clean the front of the house.
One by one, your father’s employees complete their duties in a haste, then clock out so they can go home to whoever is waiting for them. Their eagerness only brings a smile to your face.
As you’re sanitizing a table, you catch a glimpse of one of the waitresses dashing towards the door.
“Well, see you tomorrow, Kaci!”
She halts, then turns around to say her goodbyes—and to gossip.
“Night, boss lady,” she chirps.
Why she calls you “boss lady” is a mystery to you; your dad only left you in charge, but you’re just a manager. You still get on the floor and serve tables like everyone else.
You’re curious about the bit of mischief hidden in her tone. It’s not long before she reveals her true intentions.
“Did he stop by yet?”
And of course…she’s talking about Yoongi.
Usually, someone stops by on his behalf to collect the rent. His family allows your father and a few others to occupy the buildings on this lot for business. Payment is always to be paid in cash, so you make sure you visit the bank the morning of collections.
Your family has had a close relationship with the Mins for years, so they’ve been working with you while your father recovers.
You met Yoongi right in this restaurant at the young age of four, and from there, your friendship blossomed. You were inseparable throughout grade school, but senior year is when everything shifted.
It had to be the first time you both realized that you were on different paths after graduation. While you prepped for college, he was being introduced to the hustle that built his family’s empire.
If that didn’t tear a rift in your relationship, the underlying tension and unspoken feelings surely did. People used to always say at least one of you would eventually want something different, and you used to always laugh at them…until it became a fact.
You’ve always wondered if he ever felt the same as you did—or if he ever thought about exploring something more.
Unfortunately, you’ll never know what he was feeling. After graduation, he shut you out and never looked back. That was so long ago, though. You’ve grown, and the pain of losing someone you cared about eventually went away.
…So you thought.
Being home again brings back so many memories and forgotten feelings. Things you wish you still had, and things you wish you could have had. After experiencing so much throughout college, and learning more about yourself, you’d kill to go back in time so you can handle things differently.
You can’t help but think your friendship was torn apart by nothing more than a curious mind and raging hormones.
Yoongi’s so different now, though. However, you still see glimpses of the boy who would sneak into your window just to watch reruns of 90s cartoons with you. You smile just thinking about all the fun times you’ve shared, and all the trouble you got into.
“Look at you getting wet just thinking about him! I knew it. You’re whipped!”
“Can you keep your damn voice down,” you hiss. “Last thing I need is gossip right now.”
You’re so fed up with her teasing. If you two hadn’t just clicked when you took over the restaurant, you’d probably just kick her ass out in the cold.
“And, no. He has not. So, you can leave now, ma’am.”
“Oh, for sure,” she sighs dramatically. “Hell only knows what you two do when you are alone.”
Your jaw drops.
Sometimes this bond you share is a blessing; but other times, it’s a curse.
Kaci’s a sweetheart, but her mouth… Well, let’s just say these comments are normal for her.
And just like your father, she loves to play Cupid. No wonder he hired her.
“Just get your ass out of here.”
You can barely keep your laugh from bursting through your lips as you send a rag flying towards her. She dodges it, then proceeds to give you a middle finger. She has another shady comment ready to roll off the tip of her tongue, but then she glances out of the glass door and smirks instead.
You scoff. “Bitch, what is it now?”
Kaci then shakes her head.
“Nothing, babe. I’m out,” she winks. Kaci then points towards the parking lot and whispers, “Daddy’s here.”
“Huh? What are you talking about—”
Crawling into one of the booths, you partially open the blinds with your fingers and peek out of the window.
About seven sets of headlights stare back at you, all belonging to vehicles that are as dark as the midnight hour. A BMW sits in the center, blacked out with tinted windows and black custom rims. However, you don’t need a look inside to know who it is. No one else would pull up like they own the lot.
All the businesses are closed, which means these aren’t customers. It’s the boss.
Your heart rate builds up when the door opens and his sneakers touch the concrete. He stands there for a moment fixing his jacket and discreetly observing his surroundings.
Your eyes follow his movements. You can only hear the bass from his music and the noises coming from your throat as you try to gulp down the saliva building up in your mouth.
All you needed to see was the top of his head to confirm what you already knew.
Yoongi’s here, and he’s the one coming to collect payment tonight.
You don’t know why your heart is about to pound out of your chest like you’re hexed by some teenage crush. Maybe you are still hung up on him a little bit. You can’t deny how attractive he still is. He definitely wears age well.
The dark hair suits him perfectly. You can remember the horror stories about the color experiments gone wrong when you were teenagers. It’s a surprise that it’s still luscious and healthy as it is.
However, that isn’t the only thing that has changed in his appearance.
They’re hard to spot under his jacket, but his torso, back, and arms are covered in tattoos. You only know about this because another waitress working here loves to share the story of how she was on her knees in a bathroom giving a shirtless Yoongi a blowjob.
You would never admit jealousy, but damn; that lucky bitch.
Yoongi starts to make his way across the parking lot, pushing back his hair with his ringed-fingers to grant better vision out of his peripherals. You know he’s always watching his back; he can never be too careful when he’s making moves.
His haircut allows you to get a glimpse of the ink crawling up his neck, disappearing behind his ear. His earring dangles in the wind as he strides in your direction.
Each step is confident and dominant; his aura dark and mysterious.
A man who is about his business, it’s no shock that heads turn when he steps into the room. He’s reserved, but not afraid to enforce his authority when he deems necessary. You heard stories, and crossing Yoongi is considered a death wish.
He’s like the hot badass described in movies or books, but he actually is that guy. Handsome, street-wise, tattoos and scars; paired with money, jewelry, and you’d be stupid to think he isn’t packing.
You can smell the power and Dior emitting from his body all the way from where you are.
Each step he takes towards the entrance of the restaurant gives you a better view without being noticed. It’s a sin how good he looks and he’s just wearing a simple outfit with some sneakers. You have no business feeling these kinds of things, but it’s impossible to not.
“Can he just bend us over already?”
You hear Kaci whisper the same words you were just thinking. But she can’t know that, so you swat her again for good measure.
“Fine…I’m leaving,” she whines, walking to the door.
You back out of the booth and move over to the host stand so you can roll silverware and act like you weren’t watching him.
Kaci opens the door just as he’s about to reach for the handle, and of course, she gives him a warm welcome.
“Hi, Yoongi,” she beams. You roll your eyes the second you hear that annoying high-pitched voice she uses when she’s being coy.
“Hey, can you hang back for a bit? It won’t be long.”
“Yeah, sure. Everything okay?”
The look he gives her sends your radar up, so you set down the utensils in your hand and join them in the lobby.
“Hey,” you greet him when he notices you. “What’s going on?”
Yoongi sighs before he answers, shaking his head as he gathers his words.
“You know the alterations shop over there?”
His head nods in the direction of the Leonard’s shop a few stores down. Both of you nod because they take lunch breaks here everyday.
“Somebody hit them up about an hour ago. Left their daughter in bad shape before they stripped the registers,” he informs.
“Are you serious? That’s awful.”
“Yeah, they’re good people. Who would do something that disgusting?” Kaci asks.
Yoongi only shrugs. “Don’t know, but as soon as I find out…”
He doesn’t even need to continue. It’ll be bad; probably worse than you can imagine. One thing the Min’s don’t tolerate is disrespect. You mess with one of their people, you get handled. In this case, you can’t even feel bad for the bastard. That family doesn’t bother anyone. It’s a shame they were targeted.
“Anyway, I don’t want either of you lingering around here at night anymore. Stick together during opening and closing until we catch this motherfucker understand?”
“Yeah, got it,” you reply, and Kaci also agrees.
“Sure, not a problem.”
With everyone on the same page, you make a note in your mind to update the security system in the restaurant and think of some safety tips for employees. No one can ever be too careful, especially after what just occurred so close to home.
“And Kaci?” he calls, just as she’s getting ready to depart.
“Yeah?”
“Don’t walk home. Your pepper spray is expired. Ask one of the guys to drive you.”
“Is Hoseok out there?”
You and Yoongi share a look. He’s probably wondering what it’s about, but then again, who doesn’t know they’re fucking?
“Yeah…he is—”
“Kay, bye!”
Before the door slams in your face, you call out to her.
“Text me when you’re home!... Or when you’re able to use your hands.”
Yoongi chuckles as the both of you watch her dash across the lot. You aren’t sure how she’s able to spot the right SUV, but she does within seconds.
“This has been going on for a while, huh?” Yoongi inquires.
“Mhm. Fight, fuck, repeat.”
After a moment goes by, you realize you forgot to bring the money you owe Yoongi. You snap your fingers when you remember why he’s there in the first place.
“Oh, yeah. Come on, it’s back here,” you tell him.
Yoongi follows you toward the back of the restaurant until you reach the small manager’s office tucked in a corner of the kitchen. While you dig in your apron for the key, Yoongi checks in with you to see how everything’s going.
“How’s your dad?”
You pause to look at him and answer with a proud smile. Your father’s been working really hard on his road to recovery; it’s nice to talk about his accomplishments without someone looking at you with pity, which Yoongi never does.
“He’s been doing better. Lots of physical therapy, but he walked on his own yesterday.”
With a nod, Yoongi’s expression softens. “That’s the shit I like to hear.”
“Me too.”
Once you find the keys, you unlock the door and the both of you step inside the dark room.
“Thanks,” you whisper when he flips the lightswitch for you.
You can feel him watching you as you walk around the desk, and when you squat down to open the safe underneath, you hear his footsteps approaching.
You start entering the combination while he whistles and looks around your office.
You’re curious about what he’s looking at, but right now you can't even take a peek without him noticing. Instead, you focus on gathering the cash you owe him for last month and this month while he’s busy snooping around.
After a while, you figure he’s found something interesting because the room becomes quiet. You grab the stack you set aside and close the safe, making sure it’s locked before you do anything else.
“So how was your day?”
Yoongi’s deep voice tears a giant rift in the silence, startling you and causing you to bump your head on the edge of the desk. Thankfully, his back is turned and he didn’t hear the small thud because you’d be beyond embarrassed.
“It was okay,” you reply as you regain your footing.
Yoongi turns in your direction when he hears your words become clearer, indicating you’re no longer digging around in the safe. He meets you halfway and you extend your hand with the stack of money resting between your fingers.
“This is all of it.”
Yoongi looks at the stack before he responds. Most of the time, it’s so hard to know what he’s thinking because his expression is always so stoic.
“Just okay?” he quizzes.
“Yeah, pretty much. It was busy so I was stuck in autopilot most of the day.”
He still hasn’t made a move to accept the money. You feel kind of awkward being so close to him as is, and his lack of response makes you feel even more anxious.
Finally, he speaks. “Do you even have this to give me?”
“Yeah, we’re good. Please, take it.”
You gesture for him to take the money, and he reaches for it, making you believe he’s going to grab it.
“It’s all here. If you want me to count it, I—”
“Don’t worry about it,” he insists.
“What do you mean?”
“Exactly what I said,” he shrugs.
“Yoongi, no. We haven’t paid in a month. My dad would already be mad at me for being behind.”
“Does he have to know?” The look Yoongi gives you reminds you of all the times he’s talked you into doing something wild. He’d always take the blame if you got caught, but the thrill always made getting grounded irrelevant to you. “Keep it. We’re good until he gets back, okay?”
“Yoongi, I can’t.”
“You can’t?”
“I won’t,” you declare confidently.
“So you’re arguing with me?”
Your eyes widen, realizing that he wasn’t giving you an option.
“I-I’m sorry. I was just—”
“Don’t worry about it, alright? Just keep doing what you’re doing. I only hear good things about this place,” he concludes.
“Okay, ok. Thanks, Yoongi.”
“Don’t mention it.”
As you’re returning the money to the safe, Yoongi brings something to your attention.
“I don’t see your car outside.”
“Ah, shit. It needed to be serviced. I was supposed to pick it up on my lunch, but I forgot.”
After visiting the bank this morning, you dropped your vehicle off at the dealership for maintenance, but the breakfast rush swarmed in as soon as you arrived at work. By the time you thought about picking it up, it was well after business hours.
“Um, do you mind—”
“Wanna ride?” Yoongi offers.
“Please.” Relieved, you exhale a needed sigh. “If it’s not an inconvenience.”
“Not at all, love.”
You quickly grab your purse and switch off the light in your office, ignoring that feeling you got from the little pet name.
Yoongi leads the way this time. As you’re following him through the restaurant, you’re sure to double check everything before you leave. Even Yoongi turns to ask you if you’ve secured everything.
“Good?”
“Yeah, everything’s turned off and we’re locked up tight.”
“Cool.”
Walking into the dining area, you give everything a quick once-over before following Yoongi to the exit. Everything looks tidy and neat how you like it so you step out into the cold night with your chauffeur.
He waits with you while you lock the front doors, looking around for any curious eyes. After you’ve finished turning the lock and key, you give the handle a tug to make sure it doesn’t open.
Growing up in this neighborhood will teach you a thing or two about being cautious and aware of your surroundings.
“It’s freezing tonight,” you comment.
Sometimes you like to make small talk with Yoongi, see where the conversation goes. Depending on the mood he’s in, he’ll either have one sentence responses or he’ll engage in light conversation.
You don’t mention the past much. It seems like pretending it never happened is easier for both of you. However, sometimes you have an impulse to bring up the subject, or at least try to mend what’s broken.
If that’s possible.
“Cold? This is perfect weather.”
You roll your eyes. He’s definitely fucking with you.
“Oh, whatever. You know it’s freezing out here.”
You don’t care how ridiculous you look speeding towards his car. You’re shivering and Yoongi takes forever to unlock the door.
You shuffle from foot to foot, wiggling to build up some body heat. You can hear the fabric of your jeans rubbing together due to the friction.
“You know it’s already unlocked, right?”
Oh.
You climb inside and relief washes over you. The heat is blowing warm and strong, making the leather seats even more comfortable. The seat warmers keep your butt cozy, and the vents are aiming towards your upper body. It’s perfect; you could fall asleep right here.
When Yoongi gets in the driver seat, your head lolls in his direction.
“Thank you.”
“For?” he asks.
“Your car feels like heaven right now.”
Yoongi scoffs softly.
“It isn’t always this warm. Trust me,” he replies.
“Well regardless, thanks. I appreciate it.”
“Not a problem, love.”
Fuck.
Yoongi’s engine revs as he pulls out of the parking lot. A thought comes into your mind as the vibrations travel up your body.
“Does it ever make your balls tingle?”
He coughs, clearing his throat while checking to see if he heard right.
“Uh, what?”
“The car,” you elaborate. “When you’re driving it…You don’t feel anything?”
Honestly, you’re just chatting to keep yourself from falling asleep. You don’t even expect him to answer as you stare out of the window, watching the SUVs fade in the distance.
“I guess I never really thought about it,” he responds.
You nod, vibing to the music. He’s turned the volume down since you’ve joined him, so you can actually hear each other speak.
“Hm. Sure does make your pussy tingle.”
You don’t think he heard that part. It was barely a whisper. If he did, he chose to ignore it.
“You alright?”
“Yup,” you answer. “Just ready to unwind.”
“Any plans tonight?”
You sit up in your seat, and turn to him.
“You bet.”
Yoongi laughs. “Oh, yeah?”
“I have a date with my bed, and I’m gonna let my blanket top me.”
“Gotcha. So you’re locked down, huh?”
“I wouldn’t say that.”
“Well, it sure sounds like it. I never see you having any fun.”
You give him a look.
“Well, look who’s talking. Besides, you know I’m dealing with a lot right now.”
“Fair enough, but you’re still allowed to do something for yourself for a change. Some of us don’t have that privilege,” he replies.
“I think everyone has the privilege to do something for themselves. You just have to be selfish enough to go for it, I guess.”
“That is true.”
Yoongi then turns the music up a few notches. You already know what that means. He’s over conversation and wants to get lost in his thoughts.
As you cruise through the streets, people may look on the surface and think this is some young bachelor taking his car for a late night drive—maybe heading to one of the city’s hot spots.
But Yoongi is all work, and no play. If it’s not about moving product, it’s placed on the backburner.
You can relate, but tonight you’re switching it up. Self care is calling your name and you aren’t hanging up this time.
“What happened to the garden?”
You’re pulled from your thoughts by Yoongi’s voice.
As he pulls up to the curve in front of your childhood home, he can’t stop himself from teasing you about your dying plants. You really tried your best with them, but unfortunately, you weren’t gifted with nurturing hands.
“You’re not funny,” you mutter, acting ignorant.
You know you’ve destroyed your dad’s flower bed, but he doesn’t have to make fun of you.
“I’m just saying, shouldn't you cover them?”
“I forgot!”
“You always do,” he mumbles.
You giggle as you’re opening the door; finally having a carefree conversation with your old friend again feels nice. As soon as you step out into the elements again, the winter air nips at your cheeks and you know you’ll be trembling by the time you get to your doorstep.
“Well, thanks for the ride.”
Yoongi just nods and tells you that he’d do it anytime you needed him to.
As you stand outside of the car, you start to get that feeling in your gut. That urge you know you shouldn’t have, but the temptation is stronger than ever.
Yoongi tilts his head, wondering why you’re standing in the cold. You’re frozen, silently debating on what you should do.
Ultimately, you go for it, knowing the risk you’re taking without being prepared for the aftermath.
You’re even sure why you’re asking, or where you expect things to go. But tonight made you realize something. You miss having a best friend.
Your best friend.
“Hey, it's late. You wanna come inside?... If you don’t have any plans.”
Regret washes over you as soon as the words leave your mouth. You weren’t ready, neither was he. You curse yourself for rushing it. The silence goes on for ages, but you’re so numb, the cold doesn’t faze you.
Finally, he gives you an answer. “You know I can’t do that.”
Well, now you know you’re the only one still holding on. By can’t, he means he won’t.
Nodding, you lie and pretend that you understand where he’s coming from. “Yeah, I get it. Sorry about that.”
You were sure he’d be more open now that time has passed. However, you’re still stuck where you left off. He still won’t hear you out.
“There’s no need,” he assures.
Still, you feel guilty. Selfish.
Foolish.
“Well look, I'll see you around, yeah?” He checks his phone and tosses it on the passenger seat. "I have to go deal with something."
“Okay, thanks again for the ride. Stay safe.”
You try not to look disappointed, but it’s probably no good. You’re sure he hears it in your voice. Or maybe you sound more tired than anything. You are exhausted. Maybe it’s your restless mind that's causing you to get ahead of yourself and open old wounds. It’s best you go inside before you can dig yourself a bigger hole.
“You'll call me if you need me, right?”
If you need him…
You always need him. He’s your rock. Well, probably not anymore. How do you learn to forget someone who’s always been there for you?
You swallow the bitterness coating your tongue before you reply. You’ll get over it. You always do.
Just not right now.
“Yeah, I’ve tried that already. Goodnight, Yoongi.”
You shut his car door and retreat to the safety of your home. You’re unsure if he says it back or not. You walk away before he can respond.
Everything in your sight becomes blurry as your vision is blocked by a wave of pending tears. You urgently open your front door in case he’s following you.
A part of you wishes that he did.
But the longer you stand there, back pressed against your front door, secluded from the same world you’ve just finished servicing—you realize that the chances of that happening are too slim to hold onto.
Minutes go by, and you start calming down. You find your strength again, and you realize that your vulnerability made you panic. You got too comfortable, and that’s your fault.
Tonight will just be another solo night; nothing you aren’t used to.
You wipe your face and rid yourself of all the negative energy. Tomorrow you’ll be fine and the blow of rejection will start to fade away. Shaking your head, you clear your mind and start taking off your clothes.
You put it in your mind that you won’t hold this against Yoongi, and whenever he’s ready to talk—if ever—you’ll tell your side of the story if he wants to hear it.
Until then, you’ll just focus on you because he was right about one thing.
You should treat yourself; you deserve it.
“Get your sorry ass up.”
Yoongi stares at his hand as he walks away from the battered man lying on the ground. His knuckles are bruised and covered in the thief’s blood. The sight would bring shame to his father. He shouldn’t be out here behaving like a street thug when he’s got power moves to make.
But when he found out there was danger lurking so close to you, he had to deliver the message himself. He’s sure it was heard loud and clear.
Possibilities played through his mind with every blow that rained down on the guy. What if it was your father’s restaurant that had been hit up? What if you had been inside?
He’s furious, enraged; but mostly at himself for how he keeps letting you down. You wanted to forgive him tonight, put everything that happened behind you and maybe try again. But what did he do?
He ruined it.
He always figured that he would, but it’s what you needed to hear. He’s not a good guy or some bad boy you can turn good. Yoongi’s in this too deep to be pulled out. There’s no way he could ever look your father in the eye and tell him that he’s put your life in danger.
That’s why he refuses to address those feelings he has for you. He’d either end up breaking your heart, or getting you into a nasty situation.
If the wrong person were to know that he has a thing for you, you’d become a weapon for an opp to use against him. Yoongi’s respected by many, but there are some who want everything he has; you’d be added to the top of that list if they knew he’d died for you.
He can’t lose what his family’s worked hard for, but he can’t lose you either.
There’s only two options if that line’s ever crossed. Either you’re with him, and you’ll have to step into his world; or you’re not; and the streets deem you fair game.
The latter infuriates him. He’d kill anyone who would ever think of laying a finger on you. That’s why he has to make examples out of motherfuckers like the one behind him.
“You need to find you something safe to do, my friend.”
Yoongi turns around just as the man rises to his feet, staggering and weak from the beating he’s received. One of his arms cradles his torso while the other wipes blood from his lips. He’d receive pity from anyone without the context, but if they knew what he did to that seamstress—they’d be wondering why he’s still alive.
This is far less than what this scum deserves. His apologies fall on deaf ears. Yoongi’s men don’t give a shit about his apology, and neither does he.
“I’m so sorry. I…I didn’t know this was your block too. I was just—”
Yoongi pulls out his glock and fires a shot near the guy’s foot, barely missing him. He doesn’t recall asking him to speak.
“You better assume every block is mine, motherfucker. I own this fucking city. Have you forgotten?”
“I—”
Another shot nearly blows his head off because once again, Yoongi never asked him to talk.
“Who told you to open your mouth?...” he seethes. “Speak again and I won’t miss.”
The man nods, lifting his shaky hands as a surrender.
Yoongi’s jaw clenches as he contemplates his next move. A few minutes ago, he was set on ending him right in this spot, but after thinking about you he’s calmed down a lot.
That’s the only reason this man’s life will be spared. His mind is somewhere else now; all he can think about is his own mistakes. This guy’s learned his lesson; no need to waste anymore of his time here.
“Look, don’t ever put me in this situation again. Am I clear?”
“Yes, Sir. I won’t. I promise.”
Yoongi knocks the guy out cold with his gun. He looks over at the officer who was escorting the guy to jail and gives him a nod, giving him the clear to take him in.
“This was a citizen’s arrest,” he insists, handing the cop a wad of cash.
“You got that.”
He dismisses his men, and goes to have a cigarette while he thinks.
After the criminal is placed in the back of the squad car, the cop rejoins Yoongi as he sits on the hood of his vehicle, having a smoke before he goes on with his night.
“Never thought I’d see you get dirty, especially tonight.”
Yoongi scoffs. “Yeah, me either.”
Yoongi looks at his personal phone, looking to see if you’ve texted him, or called. He doesn’t know why he’s checking. He shouldn’t expect you to reach out after how he left you tonight. It’d be a miracle if you ever wanted to see him again.
“It’s not too late, you know.”
“The fuck are you talking about, Shark?”
Shark is one of his longtime friends. He comes from a long line of crooked cops.
He’s been present through the ups and downs of his friendship with you. Shark’s always been rooting on your side, always telling him to reach out when you left for college.
Yoongi has never taken his advice, though.
“I’m just saying. Maybe you should just call her,” he explains.
“Who?”
“You want me to say her name out here?”
Yoongi shakes his head. “Absolutely not.”
Both of them share a laugh at Yoongi’s reaction, but then silence falls over the night.
Now that the adrenaline is wearing off, Yoongi’s hands are beginning to throb with pain. He tries focusing on something other than that awful feeling, but he can only think about you.
Why couldn’t he just hear you out? That would have been fair. He’s regretting more and more as time goes by, wondering if the opportunity has slipped away.
He notices the way you look at him, the way you perk up when you see him. He knows there are a lot of unspoken words because honestly, he’s always had deeper feelings for you. It was way before you realized you like him as well. He bottled that shit up throughout high school, and when he had the chance to tell you how he felt, he fumbled.
You even gave him a second chance to come clean, and he still couldn’t get it together.
“Seriously, what happened tonight? I see it all over your face.”
Yoongi sighs. “I took her home, and she invited me inside.”
“And you said no? Dude, no way.”
Yoongi looks over and finds his friend’s face stuck in a grimace. He feels shame creeping up his neck, so he quickly shifts his focus somewhere else.
“What was I supposed to say? You know I can’t let anyone see me walking in her place,” he argues.
“You could have invited her to yours, explained things a bit more. I’m sure she’s capable of making decisions for herself.”
Yoongi’s at a crossroads, but every way he turns leaves him with doubt. It’s like he’s damn regardless.
“What if it doesn’t change her mind? What should I tell her dad, huh?” Yoongi rants. “He asked me to keep her safe, man.”
“And what do you think he meant by that?”
Shark looks at his watch and turns to Yoongi as he prepares to leave.
“Look, my shift ends soon, so I gotta go. But I think you know as well as I do that you have the old man’s blessings. Just stop overthinking it. You’ll screw yourself.”
With that, Shark walks to his vehicle, and puts it in drive.Before he pulls from underneath the overpass, he rolls his window down and yells out.
“It’ll be alright, brother. Trust me!”
When Shark leaves, he switches cars with his right hand, not wanting to double back to your part of town in the same ride. As he starts driving away from the secluded area, he thinks back on how tonight has gone so far. That’s when something you said hits him…and it hits him hard.
“You said you needed me,” he whispers.
All day you’ve been surrounded by people, loving each other; only to go home to an empty house. You just wanted some company, a distraction. You wanted a friend.
It’s then he realizes that he’s hurt your feelings more than a little. You weren’t hung up on a crush you had over five years ago. He’s so stupid. How did his brain not perceive what you said as an invitation to hang out?
Just like you used to.
Yoongi does a U-turn and heads straight for your house. He has no idea what you’ll say to him, or if you’ll speak to him at all. But he needs you to know one thing; he gets it now. And he won’t ever let you down again.
No matter how many times you watch it, the horror classic Thirteen Ghosts never gets old. Your dad laughs whenever you call it your comfort flick, but he’s also not a horror fan so he just wouldn’t understand.
That bath worked more magic than you could ever imagine. It’s super late, and you should be in bed, but you’ve been thinking about the bottle of wine you bought the other day since earlier.
You aren’t really a drinker, but the bottle was cute. You figured tonight would be the perfect chance to eat some snacks, watch a movie, and give it a try. But as soon as the glass touches your lips, your doorbell rings.
You’re not expecting anyone this late. When you don’t answer, they pound on the door, startling you. Wine spills all over your hands. Quickly, you use your shirt to dry them off before making a bigger mess. You drink what’s left in the glass in one gulp before checking your Ring camera, letting out a gasp when you discover who’s standing at your doorstep.
“Yoongi?” you whisper.
Placing your phone and empty glass on the coffee table, you go to see what he wants. If you’re honest, you’re a bit worried. Did someone break into the restaurant?
Your dad would be devastated.
Without a second thought, you open the door, and interrogate Yoongi before he can even open his mouth.
“Is everything okay? Did something happen to my dad’s—”
“Oh, fuck. No! No, that’s not why I’m here,” he interrupts.
You breathe a sigh of relief, clutching your chest as the panic slowly leaves your body. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.”
“No, it’s okay. What’s up? Are you okay?”
Now that you’re not shaken with worry, you notice how disheveled he looks. His hair is messy; his expression seems anxious, his knuckles bruised.
“Were you fighting?” you quiz.
“Huh?” Yoongi looks confused but then suddenly seems to remember his injury. “Oh, this is nothing. I’m good. I just came to uhh… To see you.”
Your eyebrow raises curiously. “To see me?”
“Yeah,” he confirms.
“Okay, well… that’s nice of you, but I was planning on going to bed in a bit. I have to get up early.”
You aren’t sure why he’s acting weird. Is he in trouble? Surely, he’d tell you if he was. If so, why would he come here?
“Um, okay. Sorry,” he answers.
You tell him goodnight and attempt to shut the door, but Yoongi lodges his arm into the opening.
“What are you doing—”
“I’m listening.”
“What?”
You open the door once again, fully believing this man has lost his mind. It’s freezing out there, and he’s just standing there babbling.
“I said I’m listening,” he repeats. “Tell me.”
“Tell you what, Yoongi?”
You’ve never been more confused. First, he drops you off and hauls ass across town. Now he’s pacing at your doorstep, fumbling all over his words. Something’s going on.
“You wanted to talk, but I ghosted you, remember?”
Oh. So he remembers that.
“That’s water under the bridge. Just forget it,” you insist.
“So now I’m water under the bridge?”
“What?! No! That’s not what I said.”
“Well, explain,” he pleads. “Or just tell me it’s too late.”
“Yoongi…”
“I just wanna be friends again, but this haunts me. If you have feelings for me, I can’t—”
“I don’t,” you admit.
This is the first time Yoongi has stood completely still since he got here. He stares at you with wide eyes, not uttering a single word.
It took you a long time to understand your feelings for Yoongi. You had to experience a few unnecessary hook ups and break ups to realize you weren’t in love. You just wanted to fuck him like everyone else.
Who knows where things would have gone? But it would have been nice to let things happen naturally than to bottle up feelings.
You open the door again, and step to the side.
“Come in. It’s cold.”
This time he doesn’t reject your invitation.
Yoongi follows you into your living room, looking around and probably reminiscing over the past. Nothing’s really changed other than the furniture. However, the memories of the days you two used to run around while your mom scolded you for messing up the floors are still present.
You point to the couch and offer him a seat while you stand there gathering your words.
“You can sit here.”
“Thanks,” he replies.
Yoongi sits and does that thing he does with his hands when he’s nervous. His fingers intertwine and he just watches his thumbs chase each other in a loop. He used to do it all the time whenever he’d stay too late at your house and his dad would come looking for him.
Your parents always were able to calm Mr. Min down before he could reprimand Yoongi. It took him a while but he finally understood that you and his son were best friends, and your place was Yoongi’s second home.
There are so many evenings he’d miss basketball practice to hold you while you cried after your mom died. Yoongi never left your side. Even when you were unrightfully resentful and angry with him for still having his mom in his life; he understood every stage of your grief.
So no, he’s not just water under the bridge to you. He could never be. He may be wrong for shutting you out, but everyone has their breaking point.
“I wanted to tell you that I was in love with you. That I wanted you to go with me to college,” you confess.
Yoongi’s jaw nearly hits the floor. You can tell he’s shocked because he starts tripping over his words.
“I-I… I didn’t know that. I’m sorry. You—”
“...Was confused,” you add.
You can’t help but laugh at yourself and at the situation. All this time you’ve been scared to rip the bandaid off, and the wound’s already healed.
“I didn’t have anyone to talk with about dating and stuff; not from a young woman’s perspective, at least. I would watch rom-coms and thought I had butterflies whenever I saw you. Whole time…”
You fold your arms and lean against the wall, watching the television with a blank stare. Already, it feels like a weight is being lifted off your shoulders. So much tension has built up over time, so many unspoken words and unresolved feelings that it’s a relief to get it all out.
“...My pussy was throbbing.”
Yoongi picks his mouth up off the floor, and straightens in his seat. Once again, he’s caught off guard.
“Huh-What?”
You snort. “I was horny, curious… I just wanted you to bend me over and deflower me.”
“Deflower you? The fuck?”
Yoongi’s laughter erupts from his chest, lightening the vibes in the room. It’s nice to hear him laugh, like genuinely grin and reveal his cute smile. You didn’t realize how much you missed seeing the image until it’s presented to you at that moment.
“Well, it’s true!”
“I see you are still an over-sharer,” Yoongi chuckles.
“And you’re still stubborn.”
Both of you look at each, shaking your heads and sharing a fond smile. You can tell this has been weighing on him as much as it did you. He’s regretful of how he handled the situation, and you’re sorry for staying away so long.
You should have tried harder. Yoongi always did whenever it got tough.
Regardless, it’s in the past. It’s time to move on.
You walk across the room with your arms open, inviting your friend into an embrace.
“Seriously? No way,” he grimaces, trying to get up before you can close him in.
Unfortunately, he’s not fast enough.
“You know you want to. Come here.”
Wrapping your arms around Yoongi, you giggle when he acts like he’s all tense. He always pretends he doesn’t want to hug you at first, but then, he gives in.
“Fuck it,” he groans, pulling you closer.
You melt in his arm almost immediately. You don’t even care if you slide to the floor. All of your weight rests on him, but he still holds you up while complaining about you smothering him.
“I wish I could breathe,” he gripes.
“Fine…”
Yoongi expects you to back away; but instead, you climb on his lap.
“What are you doing?”
You shrug. “My bad. I thought we were cool.”
Maybe you did move a little too quickly, but it’s nothing you haven’t done hundreds of times. You’ve shared beds, seen each other naked… accidentally found each other’s Pornhub accounts. You were just acting on instinct.
You’re about to stand, but Yoongi stops you. “We are, but aren’t you mad at me?... From earlier?”
“A little, but…”
“But what?”
“Can’t friends kiss and make up?” you propose.
His hands rest on your bare thighs, fingers gently nudging at your big t-shirt. The room seems warmer now that there’s no distance between you. Or maybe it’s just the fires building in your belly that’s making you hot?
“Maybe…”
You trace his lips with your finger tips while looking in his eyes. You could spend the night like this if it were up to you. He’s beautiful; inside and out.
“Wanna try and find out?” he whispers.
You respond by softly connecting your lips, moaning instantly as your entire body begins to tingle.
Yoongi pulls you closer, holds you tighter, and encourages you to deepen the kiss you share by parting your lips with his tongue. You don’t deny him, and he invades your mouth—taking over and leaving you dizzy from the lack of oxygen.
Suddenly, he pulls away, and you’re quick to whine.
“I smell wine,” he comments. “Are you—”
“I had a sip, and the rest spilled all over my hands.”
You show him the stains on your hands and shirt, and he just stares in disbelief. “Only you.”
“Whatever,” you dismiss, trying to steal another kiss from his wet lips. “I need you.”
You drag your crotch across his lap, seeking friction. You’re shocked when he grabs your waist, thinking you’re overstepped once again.
“Hold on.”
Yoongi reaches under his shirt and grabs his gun from his waistband. He shoves it in the folds of your couch, and throws you a wink.
“We’ve kissed. Now let's make up.”
With a smile, you get up and grab his hand.
“Follow me…”
“Get on the bed,” he moans against your lips, pulling away to take off his shirt.
You begin to move, but a thought pops up in your mind.
Instead of climbing on the bed, you watch him remove his t-shirt and reveal his ink covered body. You bite your lip in awe at the masterpiece standing in front of you. He has no idea how hot he looks while simply undressing. You’re ready to pounce on him right now, but you pace yourself.
You have all night.
When Yoongi notices you’re still standing in the same spot, he tilts his head with a puzzled expression.
“Change your mind?” he quizzes.
You shake your head, and close the small space between you. Before he can say anything else, you drop to your knees. With skilled hands, you pull on his belt until it's free from the buckle. You flash Yoongi a smirk when you discover he’s watching you with those dark eyes.
As you pop open the button on his pants, your other hand flattens over his denim covered dick, noting the way it begs to be freed.
“I can’t wait,” you murmur, stroking it over his jeans.
Once you’re finally able to access his underwear, you reach inside and retrieve his thick, warm cock. You don’t care if you moaned before your lips even touched it. Shame is long gone, and you aren’t afraid to show Yoongi how long you’ve been waiting for this.
“I can tell,” he scoffs.
You let his smart remarks slide for the sake of your impatience, and move in to run the tip of your tongue up and down his slit. His precum oozes out and coats your taste buds, giving you a tiny sample of what he’ll taste like when he dumps his load on your tongue.
Yoongi hisses, probably reacting to sensitivity. You keep going, giving him a moment to ground himself before you give him the real deal.
While you tease him, you admire his girth. He’s heavy in your hand, but his dick is the perfect size to wrap your hand around it. It’s smooth, but textured and veiny—just like his hands.
No longer able to wait any longer, you part your lips and let your saliva cover the tip. You use your fingers and palm to lubricate the rest of his shaft so that it slides into your mouth with ease. Only when he’s dripping wet with spit do you take him in, and his reaction is golden.
“Ahh, fuck.”
If you could smile, you would right now. Knowing you have him on his tiptoes almost feels as good as the blunt head of his dick touching the back of your throat.
You can feel his muscles tenses up once your head begins to bob up and down, purposefully slurping loudly to create sinful noises.
“Fuck,” Yoongi curses.
His voice is rough as he pants through his words, attempting to keep his composure, but failing.
When Yoongi’s hand finds the back of your head, you look up to see what he’s doing. You keep going as you watch him whisper profanities into the air, running his ringed fingers through his dark strands.
He gathers your hair in his palm, making your scalp tingle and sting due to his strong grip. He starts controlling your movements, managing how much of him you take in at once. It’s not long before you’re choking and gagging on his cock.
Drops of your spit and tears fall to the floor. Your head starts to spin from the vigorous motions, but the feeling doesn’t prevent you from allowing Yoongi to fuck your throat until it’s raw.
Craving more, he thrusts into your mouth. The look on his face and the desperation of his movements lets you know he’s almost near his peak. However, once he realizes what’s happening, he swiftly pulls out, leaving you coughing due to the sudden intake of air.
“Look at me,” he commands after you catch your breath. “You’re fucking hot for that.”
“Thank you—”
Yoongi’s hand smacks the smirk off your face. You’re caught off guard, but that doesn’t stop your pussy from gushing at the change in his tone.
“But is that what I told you to do?”
You try to shake your head, but he’s still holding your hair.
“No, use your fucking mouth.”
When you try to speak, he shoves his fingers in your mouth, pushing them deep enough to gag you.
“You like using your mouth, don’t you?” he asks, but you know he isn’t looking for an answer. “So speak.”
“I do,” you croak around his digits.
“Now get the fuck on the bed like I told you to the first time.”
Yoongi snatches you up, and you scramble to the bed. You sit and wait for him to take off the rest of his clothes, trying to remain patient as you see he’s not in the mood for disobedience. You weren’t bothered the slightest by his lack of respect.
In fact, you crave more; and if you have to beg for it, you will.
“Second thoughts?” he asks randomly.
You notice that his wallet’s in his hand and after a few seconds he pulls out a condom. You get butterflies the moment he places a knee on the bed. For you, it’s not even happening fast enough.
“No way.”
“Good,” he winks. “Because I’m not gentle.”
“And I’m not glass.”
Yoongi growls when he hears that response, crawling over to you at lightning speed.
“Come here.”
He grabs your thigh and pulls you closer, pushing your legs apart so he can access your center. His fingers trace over your lace panties until he ultimately decides to rip them off of you.
You squeak in surprise when you hear the fabric tearing.
“Yoongi!”
“Shh,” he coos. “They’re ruined anyway.”
With a face burning with embarrassment, you turn away and stare at the wall while Yoongi puts the condom on. You can feel his eyes on you, observing the way he makes you fidget and squirm.
You get too comfortable lying there in your own thoughts. The sensation between your thighs catches you off guard.
“Ooh, shit Yoongi!”
Your body reacts the instant his dick rubs against your clit. You’re already worked up and ready to be filled, but Yoongi doesn’t want to skip the foreplay.
“Damn, it’s wet.”
He rubs the tip over your crevice, taunting you each time he passes your entrance. Just when you think he’ll slide in, he moves up to your throbbing clit and repeats.
“Please stop teasing,” you beg.
Yoongi laughs. “Why should I?”
“Because—”
You begin to whine and complain, but your words get stuck in your throat when Yoongi suddenly enters your pussy.
“Oh my god.”
Your wetness allows him to slide in easily, but your body wasn’t prepared to take him all at once.
You grip your sheets for support, but the initial shock of him moving so quickly takes almost a minute to subside.
Yoongi’s patient, giving your body time to adjust before he worries about pleasure. His thumb slowly massages your clit, getting you to relax under his touch. When your grip on the sheets finally loosen, he makes tiny strokes to test the waters.
“Good now?” he asks.
“Mhm.”
With your approval, he positions himself over you and fucks you a little deeper. Once he finds the perfect rhythm, he moves your right leg and places it on his shoulder.
You’re already moaning loudly, not caring who hears. You cry out everytime his dick digs into your cervix, exploring places you never knew could be reached.
You’ve begged guys to go deep, but they’ve always been scared to test their limits. Not Yoongi; he’s giving you everything he has, and even though you’re barely holding onto your sanity, you’d probably cry if he stopped.
“Take that damn shirt off,” he growls, gripping the giant t-shirt draped over your body.
You almost can’t figure out how to get it off, but by a miracle you manage. Now completely naked, you toss the clothing aside and start groping your tits while you lift your hips to meet his thrusts. You thought Yoongi would enjoy watching you, but he’s not impressed.
“Who told you to touch yourself?” he presses.
You don’t answer quickly enough for him. Honestly, you weren’t going to reply because your mind is so far away that his words just drift through your ears.
A hand around your throat snatches you back to real time. He’s pissed, biting his lip and trying not to spill his load before he’s ready.
“Answer me.”
This time you speak up immediately. “No one.”
“Hm. So you just do what you want?”
The sound of his deep voice mixed with the sound of your slapping skin and squelching juices turns you on beyond explanation. That familiar tension starts to build in the pit of your stomach, informing you of what’s soon to follow.
“I don’t like rules, Yoongi.”
“Oh, you will,” he promises.
Yoongi’s thrusts get stronger, making your body shift towards the top of the bed. He somehow keeps you in place using the hand he has wrapped around your neck, but you’re still being bounced around like a ragdoll.
“Since you don’t like it, I’ll finish up and leave.” His movements suddenly become faster, and it doesn’t take you long to figure out what he’s implying. “You can make yourself cum, right?”
“What?” you shriek. “No!”
His laughter resonates through your bedroom as he mocks your desperation. You try reaching between your legs, attempting to induce an orgasm yourself but he forbids.
“Uh-uh.”
He pushes your hand away and pins your wrist to the mattress, leaving you with no other resort.
“Yoongi, I wanna cum. Don’t be an asshole.”
“Better watch what comes out of your mouth then.”
You groan, realizing he’s too stubborn to give in. He’s not bluffing; he’d actually leave you stuck.
You can taste the pleasure on your tongue. You’re so close, but Yoongi’s thrusts are starting to become wild. If you don’t give him what he wants, you won’t get what you crave.
“Tell me now…” he grunts, lust oozing from his lips. He leans forward, pushing your leg to your chest as he tries to come closer. The coolness of his chains pressed against your feverish skin brings you a little relief, but it’s not nearly enough. “You sorry?”
Fuck.
“I am.”
He chuckles. “I know.”
Yoongi’s thumb then wipes the single tear rolling down your cheek. Your body’s restless and seeking some relief from all the tension building inside your core.
He finally slows down, pacing himself so he’s no longer ahead of you in the race to ecstasy. His finger gently tugs at your bottom lip, silently asking you to relax your jaw.
“You’re mine, right?”
You nod. “Yeah.”
“Good... Now open.”
Gauging your reaction, he smirks when you don’t oblige. You stick out your tongue, waiting for what you already expected.
Yoongi spits directly into your mouth, and you don’t even flinch. You look into his eyes as you close and swallow. He’s pleased when you reveal that nothing’s left when you open again.
“Good girl. Good fucking girl,” he moans, repositoning himself.
Whatever he says after that is lost between his swearing and muffled cries as he presses his lips against your leg. He slowly picks up his speed this time, allowing the heat to fill up inside of you before he drills you like before.
“Fuck, you feel so good.”
“You too, Yoongi.”
You’re desperate for more tension, but you’re afraid you’ll be punished if you chase it yourself.
“More, please.”
“More?”
“Please…”
“I got you,” he assures.
Without another word, his thumb finds your clit. His name rolls off your lips over and over, surely traveling far outside your bedroom. Your body tenses aside from your fist pounding the bed.
“Cumming!”
You can hardly breathe, air getting trapped in your lungs as his hips snap violently into yours. Your back arches as a wave of pleasure hits you like a ton of bricks. Your cries begin to fade away and all you can hear is your rapid heartbeat erupting through your ears.
Yoongi doesn’t let up, giving you his all until your body slowly falls back on you. He then pulls out and peels the condom off of his pulsing cock. As soon as it’s freed, he releases his hot seed onto your skin—painting your stomach and breasts white and sticky.
Both of you stay where you are, panting and struggling to catch your breaths.
You can see Yoongi through your heavy eyelids, slumped over and exhausted from everything he’s given in the past few minutes. His hair hangs over his eyes, but you know he’s just staring at your pussy, replaying everything that just happened in his mind.
“Yoongi?”
“Hm?” He snaps out of it at the sound of your voice, gently lowering your leg before he crawls toward you.
You feel like you’re melting when he kisses your lips. It's almost like a dream being this close to him again. Even after so long you remember the way he smells, the way he breathes… You remember everything like it was yesterday.
“You’re so perfect,” he whispers against your skin. lips make one final journey over your body, kissing every inch of you and not caring about the taste of his cum staining your flesh. He gives you endless compliments and praises, making you bury your face in your pillows. “I can’t forget to taste you.”
“Wait!” you gasp when he spreads your pussy and devours you.
Your sensitive clit throbs in his mouth as he slurps up all your juices. Your body is limp by the time he’s done, eyes nearly shut and your mind shut down for the rest of the night.
“Goodnight, sweetheart,” he mumbles into the darkness.
Whatever he says next is a mystery because your tiredness ultimately puts you into a deep slumber.
“I’m so fucking stupid.”
You groan as the sun pierces your eyes. Throughout the craziness of last night, you forgot to bring your phone to bed with you. Now, you’ll have to walk and—
Or you can ask Yoongi.
With that in mind, you roll over and unfortunately find an empty bed.
Of course, he left last night. He was probably out of the door as soon as you shut your eyes. You can only hope it’s because he has work to do and he’s not avoiding you after everything you talked about. You won’t even let your mind go there.
Instead, you get out of bed and stumble to the living room—finding your phone on the coffee table right where you left it. You’re still getting notifications as you pick it up; most from Kaci, one from another employee, but nothing from Yoongi.
Before you make your daily morning phone call to your dad, you text back that server regarding time off, and see what Kaci’s fussing about.
6:58am Kaci: BITCH YOU’RE STILL AT HOME!?
7:10am Kaci: you so got fucked last night. i want all the detail STAT heaux
You roll your eyes. She won’t be getting anything other than the usual shoulder shrug. Last thing you need is for her to make a scene every time Yoongi’s in the room.
7:23am You: omw. please cover for me.
7:23am Kaci: already am. get some ‘good morning’ dick sis
“I swear I wanna kill this girl sometimes,” you sigh.
Before you can leave the messaging app, your phone rings. The number isn’t saved so you answer it with caution.
“Hello?”
It’s Yoongi.
“Hey, what’s up?”
You hope he doesn’t hear the puff of air you let out as relief washes over you. You were sure you’d lost him again after the things you did and said to each other during the heat of the moment. Not like you didn’t mean everything you said, but you aren’t sure if he did.
“Nothing, just late for work. What’s up with you?”
“Not much right now. I might go home and catch some sleep,” he replies. “Your car’s outside, by the way.”
“Really?” You walk over to the window and open the blind, shocked when you see your car parked in front of your house. “How did you…”
“I told them I was taking it as collateral.”
“What?!”
Yoongi laughs. “I’m kidding.”
If he was standing next to you, you’d punch him. You don’t know how you fall for it every single time.
“I have my ways. Just um… do me a favor?” he asks.
“Yeah, anything.”
“I think my phone’s somewhere in your house. Can you check later?”
You look around to see if maybe you can spot it but it’s nowhere in plain view.
“I know you’re already late so…”
“Oh, yeah. For sure,” you respond. “If you want, you can stop by and look. The spare key is in the same spot it’s always been.”
“It’s cool. I’ll wait until you’re off work.”
“That works.”
Both of you stay silent, waiting on the other to speak. You realize you should be getting ready for work so you decide to end the call.
“Well, I have to get ready so… I’ll text this number later?”
Yoongi clears his throat before he answers. “Yeah, it’s a burner but I’ll get the message.”
“Kay. Bye then.”
“Hey,” he calls out before you can hang up.
“Yeah?”
“Still mine?”
A smile grows on your face, and you don’t try to stop it. You didn’t want to bring it up, but you were definitely still thinking about last night, wondering what it would mean today.
But you can’t let him have what he wants so easily, can you?
“Maybe,” you tease.
There’s a pause, but when Yoongi does speak his tone grows dark.
“You still haven’t learned, have you?”
You smirk. “I suppose I haven’t.”
“Well, then. I guess I’m coming over later.”
Shit.
If you didn’t think the restaurant would burn to the ground without your presence, you’d tell him to get his ass over here now. The mere thought of a repeat of last night has you clenching your thighs together.
No working late tonight. You’re sure it’ll be slow anyway.
“I guess you are.”
“I’m not being nice this time either,” he warns.
You bite your lip, trying to conceal your excitement, but you’re really bursting at the seams. You’re sure you’ll be anticipating his visit all day, letting your mind flood with scenarios. You decide to go ahead and taunt him some more, adding fuel to the already roaring fire.
“Good. Neither am I.”
He begins to speak but you end the call before he can get it out.
As you stand in your living room giggling, a wave of nostalgia hits you. You remember he’d do the same to you after you’d complain about something silly. You’d be pissed, so the thought of him tasting his own medicine puts you in the lead on your imaginary scoreboard.
You’ve probably done a lot more that got on his nerves in the past, but who’s counting? It’s your job to push each other’s buttons and make up.
Isn’t that what friends are for?
hope everyone enjoyed !!! let me know what you think !
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GANGSTA | myg - 004
summary: rough sex, blood money, drugs, and gang related activity; four things you never predicted to experience in your simple life. not until you opened your mouth and caught his attention.
pairings: gang leader!yoongi x f!reader
warnings: smut, gunplay, drugs, drug addiction, dark!yoongi, drug lord!yoongi, strong language, gang violence, blood and gore, murder, manipulation, possessive/obsessive behavior, abuse, cheating, angst, fluff, dubcon, implied noncon (not from yoongi but within his gang with his knowledge), 18+, minors dni.
word count: 3.5K
authors note: yes, it is here. it only took me 76 years lmao. y’all best give me all the love since y’all wanted to be on my ass about this mf. anyway, enjoy the drama. also this was prewritren with the tags a long time ago so if you no longer wanted to be tagged or if you’re new and wanted to be tagged i’m sorry. the taglist got full but i try to switch out who i tag every chapter.
“Now, are you sure you’re okay? I can personally file a report for you.” Mr. Kim asked for the 6th time. You roll your eyes, fed up with the badgering. You didn’t understand why he cared so much anyway. He was the one that refused to listen to you when you tried to explain why it wouldn’t be a great idea for you to deliver in Gongdan.
You didn’t go into detail about the assault, or even bother to mention Yoongi being the reason it didn’t escalate. You simply just stated to him that you were attacked and managed to slip free.
Luckily for you though, the old man’s guilt for the attack led him to giving you the rest of the day off and you snatched that offer up immediately. Not like he needed your assistance, seeing as the restaurant was practically dead with only about 4 customers. “I’m fine, Mr. Kim. I promise.” You assure him one last time. “Alright then. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“See you tomorrow.” You exit the shop, the door dinging as you do. You spot Mina’s car sitting in front of the restaurant, and she smiles cheerfully as you climb inside. “Hey. Thanks for picking me up so early.” You sigh, buckling your seatbelt. “No problem… But why am I picking you up so early? And…” she leans forward, peaking at your ripped shirt. “Why is your shirt ripped?”
You scratch your head, the thought of explaining the situation to Mina made your brain itch. “I had to deliver at the Devil’s playground again, and got attacked.” You kept it short and sweet. Mina’s eyes widened in shock. “What?! Was it that Yoongi guy again?!”
You shake your head. “It wasn’t him, it was this group of guys. Yoongi was actually the one that saved me…” you twiddle with your fingers as your mind wanders about the raven. Mina arches a brow at the gentleness in your voice. “He saved you?” You nod slowly in response. “My god, what does he expect from you now? Sexual favors?”
Of course Mina has to be the most dramatic and think the worst possible thought of everything. “No, he didn’t ask me for any favors. Which I guess is surprising for someone with his track record.” You admit, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth. Mina starts up the car, finally moving from the restaurant premises. “Please don’t tell me you’re buddy buddy with that thug now?”
You scoff, letting your eyes roll back. “Of course not! The guy is a criminal, and stalker. I’d never befriend him,” You argue, crossing your arms. Yoongi may have saved you, but you weren’t swayed by his heroic charm. “Anyway, enough about me and my shitty day, it’s too traumatic to talk about. Did you have a talk with Jin like I suggested?” You change the subject. Mina’s face drops at the mention of her boyfriend’s name. “Yeah, we talked for about 2 minutes before it all blew up. Now we’re not on speaking terms,” She sighs. “I think maybe I should break up with him…”
You frown. ‘There she goes being the most dramatic again…’
“Mina, don’t be so damn hasty all the time.” You try to reason with the blonde. “I’m not!” She defended herself. “I’m just tired, y/n. I’m tired of trying to figure him out. I’d rather break up with him before he breaks up with me.”
Mina had never been the girl to get her heart broken. In high school she was the one always doing the heart breaking, so you could tell that it genuinely killed her to love someone as much as she loved Jin, and not know where his head was at regarding their relationship. “I don’t know, Mina… I just know if I was in your shoes with Kookie, I’d try to work things out before I think of the worst possible outcome.”
Mina pouts, but she doesn’t continue to speak. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, you were right. She shouldn’t just jump the gun and break up with Jin. Although he was acting strangely and it was confusing the hell out of her. “You know… I’m jealous of your relationship with Kookie.” She suddenly blurts, causing you to turn to her with a raised brow. “Huh?”
“I’m jealous,” she repeats. “Of you and Jungkook.”
You tilt your head to the side, your eyebrows now scrunched in curiosity. “Why?”
Mina simply shrugs, sitting quietly for a couple of minutes before answering. “You two match, and have an unbeatable connection. You started off as best friends, which played in your favor. I met Jin in the hospital because he had a broken arm. We don’t have the history you and Jungkook have.”
You smile at the compliment towards your relationship, but quickly shake your head. “History isn’t everything. Some people marry their high school sweethearts and breakup. You and Seokjin just need to be mature– or you at least.” Mina whips her head in your direction, her brows furrowed. “What do you mean by ‘or you at least’?”
“I mean that sometimes you’re immature. You tend to freak out when things don’t go your way and storm off like a child.” Mina snarls. “I’m not immature.” She muttered to herself, practically proving your point. The car finally slows down in front of your apartment before coming to a complete stop. “Thanks for the ride again, Mina. I appreciate you.”
“Of course. I’m mature enough to pick up my best friend when she needs me.” She glares, your previous comment still not sitting well with her. You shake your head, paying no mind to her attitude. “Bye, Mina. I hope everything works out with Jin.” You pushed open the car door, climbing out.
“Yeah, you and me both.” She mutters her last words before she waits for you to close the car door, speeding off into the distance with you standing there to watch. You let out a sigh, shrugging. What was the point of her asking for your advice if she was always going to dislike what you had to say?
You turn on your heels, walking up the steps that lead to your building entrance. As you venture down the hall to your apartment, you spot a shaggy haired man placing a bouquet of flowers right in front of your front door. A smile forms your face as you see the one person you longed to see after such a horrendous experience. “Kookie?”
The brunette jumps slightly, your sudden appearance catching him off guard. Once he registers that it’s you, he smiles as well. “Well shit, I wanted to surprise you with something sweet when you got off. Guess that’s a fail.” He scratches the back of his neck, chuckling. You shake your head, instantly embracing him with a hug. “It’s not a fail. I’m so happy to see you.” Even though you pretty much talked on the phone with Jungkook everyday, it felt like you hadn’t seen him in weeks.
Jungkook’s tattooed arms wrap around your waist, returning your gentle embrace. “I’m happy to see you too, angel. What’re you doing home so early though? I thought you weren’t off till 8:00?”
You bit down on your bottom lip. You wanted to start crying right there just thinking about what almost happened to you today. You hadn’t told him about your trip to Gongdan yesterday because you didn’t want him to worry, but now you felt as though he deserved to know this time. “I got attacked today.” You take a step back, showing him your torn shirt. Jungkook looks down, dumbfounded at how he hadn’t clocked your ripped shirt when you first walked in.
“By who?!” He shouts. “If it was Yoongi and his gang I swear to god–”
You shush Jungkook, looking around to make sure none of your neighbors were in the hallway eavesdropping. “Let’s talk about this inside, okay?” The brunette is pissed, but he nods, awaiting for you to open your apartment door. He grabs the flowers from the floor as you dig through your purse for your key. ‘I really need to get a keychain for this thing," you thought, finally finding the piece of metal in your bag.
You open the door, and Jungkook wastes no time storming in. He places the flowers on your kitchen table, pulling out a chair for you to sit and explain yourself. Even though he was angry he still focused on your wellbeing. You close the door, unsure if you really wanted to recite the situation. Too late to change your mind now though.
You shuffle to the seat that Jungkook pulled out for you, plopping down. “So? Was it Yoongi’s doing?”
How do you even begin to explain all of this? Yes, but not really? While Yoongi was the reason you ended up in Gongdan, he isn’t the one that attacked you. But he has taken a weird interest in you ever since the Makoto showdown between you and his trusty stooge. If you told Jungkook that though, he'd just spend every moment trying to protect you and probably do something unnecessary to get himself hurt. You didn’t want that.
So, maybe it was best to embellish the truth a bit and leave Yoongi out of it.
“I had a delivery in Gongdan today. Jimin was out sick, and I was the only one that could deliver it. A group of guys attacked me on my way back to the restaurant.” Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows. “You had a delivery at the devil’s playground and you took it? What the hell were you thinking?”
“I was thinking that I had to do my job. I had no choice, Kookie. Mr. Kim wasn’t letting me out of it. Believe me, I tried.” The brunette scoffed, redirecting his anger to Mr. Kim. “I should go down there and kick that old man’s ass,” He muttered. Jungkook was never too fond of Mr. Kim. He thought the old man could be a bit misogynistic.
“Did they hurt you?” His voice is now more tender. You shook your head. “No. I’m fine,” You assure him. “The only thing that got hurt is my precious shirt.” You laugh a bit, trying to lighten the mood. “Did they just let you go? How’d you get free?” He pressed on.
“Umm…” you trail off, your thoughts once again wandering to the raven haired man.
“So Wonder Woman, you ready to accept that ride today?”
“They got scared off by someone that happened to be walking by. Lucky me, huh?”
Jungkook sighs smoothly, crouching down in front of your chair. He takes your hands in his, interlocking your fingers. “I’m glad you’re okay, y/n. I hate to know you experienced that and I wasn’t there.” He frowns, leering down at your hands. “Jungkook, you’re not gonna be able to be there for everything, and that’s okay. You’re here now, when I need you the most.”
Jungkook looks up at you. “And I’ll stay here.”
“Please remind me to stop letting you pick out movies. You always pick the cheesiest ones.” Jungkook grimaced as you two reached the end of your movie. You wiped stray tears from your eyes, glaring over at your soon-to-be boyfriend. “The Princess Diaries is a classic. I love it.” Jungkook snorts, shaking his head. “Yeah, well next time I’m picking the movie. Your selection sucks.”
You gasp, taking a pillow from the other end of the couch. “Take that back.” You cock the pillow, ready to deliver a blow. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry… that you’re ass at picking movies.” You swing the pillow down on him, and his hands go up in self defense as he laughs, his back landing on the couch cushions to better protect his face. You take this advantage to straddle the brunette’s waist, continuing your attack until he ultimately surrenders. “Okay, I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” You finally toss the pillow back down to the end of the couch, a victory smirk plastered on your face. “I knew you’d see it my way.”
“Hard not to when I’m being attacked by a pillow.” He looks up at you, still straddling his waist. Jungkook’s hands slowly roam up your legs, stopping to grip your hips. “You’re so beautiful, you know that?” Your cheeks heated up with the compliment, and you felt a sudden wave of warmth between your legs that made you anxious. This was it. There was no better time than this to lose your virginity to Jungkook.
You lean forward, pressing your lips to his pierced ones, the metal was cold against you; Jungkook didn’t hold back, or hesitate the moment your lips were against his. Your mouths moved in sync, but sloppily at the same time as though you both wanted it real bad– and you did. Jungkook’s hands moved from your hips, reaching back to cup your ass in his hands, giving your cheeks a squeeze.
You moaned softly into his mouth, rolling your hips over the rough fabric of his jeans until you felt his cock harden underneath you. Jungkook made sure to assist you, his hands pressing you down harder against his confined length. Your panties were soaked, and your mind was in a daze. You were sure that you had dampened his jeans by now. “Fuck, Y/n…” he muttered in between kisses. “We have to stop before I can’t stop.”
“Then don’t stop, I want this.” You whine, rolling your hips faster. Jungkook moans, eyes squeezing shut. “Fuck, I can’t.” He grabs your hips, forcing you to stop. You take the hint, but you can’t help the pang in your chest. Was there something wrong with you? You didn’t get it. What was he waiting for? You climb off of him, taking your place back on the couch.
It’s silent as Jungkook sits up on the couch, running his fingers through his hair. “Y/n…”
“Save it,” You cut him short. “You don’t want to have sex with me, I get it.” Jungkook shakes his head. “That’s not true. I do.” He argued. You scoff, rolling your eyes. “So then what’s the problem? I’m always practically giving signals that I’m ready and you’re holding back. You have never done that with any girl you’ve dated before me.”
“You’re not any girl I’ve dated before you.”
“Right, I’m y/n, the girl that’s been your best friend for years and the truth is that’s probably all you see me as.” Jungkook says nothing, he doesn’t even bother to argue because that’s just something he hates doing with you. “I uh… I should go.”
“Then go.” You snapped. Jungkook nods, standing up from the couch. As he walks to the front door, he looks back at you. You don’t look his way, you just continue to stare forward. “You’re not any girl I’ve dated before you.” He repeats; those are his final words before he opens the door and leaves.
Your eyes brim with tears as you finally turn, looking towards the table where Jungkook’s bouquet of flowers sat.
“Well well well, look who made a full recovery today.” You eye Jimin taking orders as you walk into Makoto. Jimin smiles at you, happy to see you in what felt like forever since you two worked together. “Y/n, it’s good to see you too.” He greets. You cross your arms, not in a greeting mood. “I have a bone to pick with you once you’re done here.” You say, walking back to the kitchen to clock in.
“Y/n, good afternoon. How are you feeling today?” Mr. Kim asks you as you grab an apron from the hook, tying the black fabric around your waist. “It’s a Monday, how am I supposed to be feeling?” You speak dreadfully. You barely got any sleep after what happened last night with Jungkook, and now you were at work. Jungkook hadn’t even called or texted you. Not that you wanted him to right now.
“Well, I meant everything that happened yesterday, how are you feeling today?” He reiterates. You grab a time card, swiping it through the clock. “I’m fine, Mr. Kim.” You walk past him, taking a notepad and pen from the cup holder. Jimin walks back into the kitchen, his face suddenly pale like he was ready to puke. Maybe he was sick.
“Hey, um, there’s someone out there at table three that’s requesting for you to take their order.” He says, scratching the back of his neck. You raise a skeptical brow. ‘Requesting me? Could it be Jungkook?’ You thought. Maybe he wanted to talk in person instead of over the phone. You didn’t see why he couldn’t have waited until your shift was over and come to your apartment, but you didn’t argue with the gesture.
“Okay…?” You walk out of the kitchen towards the dining area. As you scope out table three, you don’t see Jungkook, but in fact, Yoongi, Joon, and two other guys you don’t know. That’s why Jimin looked so sickly. You shake your head, sauntering over to their table. “What’re you doing here? Was yesterday not enough?” You snap at Yoongi.
“Nice to see you too,” the raven laughs, leaning back in his chair. “Yesterday is the reason I’m here in person, sweetheart. Wouldn’t want you getting your pretty self into any more trouble in my hood.” He smirked. “You remember my boy Joon, don’t you?”
“Wonder Woman, it’s good to see you again.” You glare at Joon, rolling your eyes. You didn’t have time for this. Yoongi was the last person you cared to see right now, and you definitely never wanted to see Nam-joon again. “So are you here to order something or are you here to be the bane of my existence?”
“Depends… are you on the menu?” He bites his bottom lip, looking you up and down. Joon, and Yoongi’s other two minions snicker and you’ve decided you’ve had enough of this pig fest. “Okay, goodbye.” You turn to head back to the kitchen, but Yoongi stops you by grabbing your wrist. “I’m just joking around, sweetheart. I’m here to ask you something.” You pull your wrist from his grip, turning back to face him. “Ask me what?”
“Well, I’m having this kickback at my place tonight. I want you to slide through.” You scrunch your eyebrows together in confusion. “What on earth would make you think I’d dare to step foot into Gongdan again? And what makes you think I’d go to your shifty ass warehouse?”
“Well, I just thought after my heroism the other day you would want to thank me more properly.” You scoffed. Mina was right. He was expecting some kind of sexual favor from you. “I knew it. You only helped because you thought you could use me later on. I should’ve expected that from someone like you.” You leave their table, making your way back towards the kitchen, but this time Yoongi stands up from his seat to follow you.
“Princess,” He stops you again, his hand grazing your waist, but he doesn’t fully touch you in a manner that came across as though he was trying to respect your boundaries–for once. He steps in front of you, blocking your way to the kitchen. “It’s not like that. I helped you because I wanted to.”
“Is that so? Because it truly didn’t seem like it just a second ago.” You snarled, crossing your arms. The raven makes a “tsk” sound before continuing on. “Sweetheart, if that’s all I wanted from you then I would’ve made you give it to me right there in the alleyway. Regardless of what happened,” His face was stone cold serious. He meant that. You stood silent, not knowing what to say next.
“Listen… sometimes I have these kickbacks, and they’re a vibe, but it would be better if I saw your pretty face there.” His voice is soft, so soft that you didn’t think someone like Yoongi could produce such a tone. “I don’t think it would be a good idea for me to take a bus through Gongdan at night.”
“So don’t. I’ll pick you up.”
You sigh, slowly feeling yourself ready to cave in and you didn’t know why. You literally could not stand this man. He was a stalker for fuck sakes. A criminal. And yet… here you were ready to accept his invitation because of one good gesture, and a sudden softness to his voice. Yoongi’s eyes search for yours until they lock, a smile forming his face. For a moment as you're looking into the raven’s eyes you begin to question is he really the monster he makes people believe? Or is that all for looks?
“Hey, can we get the check please?” A customer calls out. Your eyes snap away from Yoongi’s. You had almost forgotten you were at work. “Look, I have to get back to work. I’ll… I’ll let you know.” You take your notepad, writing down your phone number. As you rip the paper from the pad, you actually begin to question your sanity. You hand the paper to Yoongi, his lips tilting in a sly smirk as he takes it.
“I look forward to hearing from you, princess.”
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Guide on how to not marry the Northern Duke. [1/2]
Title [Guide on how to not marry the Northern Duke.] ⇢ sub title: R like Reincarnation.
Pairing [Northen Duke! Yoongi x Reincarnated! Reader]
Genre [Fantasy Romance, Reincarnation, World in a novel AU, future smut and angst]
Summary []
Words [11,5k ; part 1 out of 2]
Warnings [mistreatment and negligence, period drama, slow burn, mention of blood and drugs, tiny sexual tension]
Rating [+18 overall but this part is a tame +14]
A/N: Guess who’s back again? ME. I’ve been working on this for a lot and I know I already have a similar story on going but I just couldn’t get over this idea in my head. So enjoy! And as always excuse me for the typos.
Every story needs a good start, and this one starts now with an old tale, much older than you.
There’s an ancient fairytale that tells you about the funding of the Empire and it all starts when God left.
Tired of human foolishness and deeply rooted malice he left the world he created to turn around its axis and burn down on its own; famine started to scavenge the continent as war broke out in every corner of the human world. Each kingdom perished one by one until only one was left.
It seemed like humanity would be wiped out permanently in no time but then just when they all thought there was no turning back, a saintess appeared among the rest and divided the continent into four regions with the help of the received divine power. That’s the birth of the empire’s central city where the empress Hyeri ruled over the four divided territories.
To prevent war from breaking out again the saintess turned to the heavens and pleaded while crying out to their maker and hearing her prayers the God who left decided to give them one last chance at redemption seeing the pure heart in front of him.
That’s when the holy prophecy was made.
Each chosen duke was granted unique powers to rule over their territories. However great powers come with great responsibilities. In the end, there’s always a price to pay but that’s the tale of another story.
This is how peace finally settled over the world once more. In exchange for the powers, the dukes wrote a blood oath that prevented them from stealing each other’s powers or waging unnecessary war. However just like every pact it wasn’t perfect. Loopholes could be taken advantage of but momentarily peace was forged.
This is the short version of the founding tale of the originated Kingdom that was taught to the people of the empire throughout generations. You particularly remember these starting lines from the novel you read in your previous life. The introduction is something you often skip through but thankfully you didn’t do that with this one.
The four families who inherited great power were Kim, Jung, Min and Jeon. When you first read the story introduction you thought that it’s quite lame and generic to base the family's attributes on the four seasons. However, seeing one of the duke’s illustrations you decided to read it all.
When choosing a book to read you only pay attention to the hotties. In this case, it wasn’t any different either.
A mysterious and cold duke of the north is something that a girl cannot ignore to save her life.
Each duke possesses an artefact which comes in the form of a ring and different precious gemstones that fit into the depression are named after the four seasons using a dead language.
Nix - means snow, which makes the wearer the lord of winter. The most handsome guy throughout the entire book in your opinion. Next, Saltus - translates to forest which is the symbol of spring. Umbra is shade and Calor is heat. The last remaining ones are autumn and summer. Each duke is the epitome of beauty, and their descendants are no exception.
This is a fantasy romance novel you read before you died in a sudden hit and run accident.
The original story is about an orphan girl Hyo who is the lost daughter of the king. After she’s found – the plot starts as she meets the four archdukes at the annual imperial ball and falls in love with the lord of Spring. Kim Taehyung. A handsome man with good manners and unmatched beauty as he’s described in the book. She’s captured by one look of the male lead’s brown eyes and shiny blond curly hair. Despite their fairytale-like first meeting, their love is not exempt from hardships. Their first obstacle is the villainess Kim Y/N who falls in love with Taehyung at first sight at the same ball and sets her eyes on marrying him but in the end, she fails to murder Hyo and gets beheaded by the second male lead Min Yoongi as an imperial order.
Hyo and Taehyung then live happily ever after and the novel ‘Flowers bloom in the heart of the Lost Princess’ ends there.
You see, dying a second time is not an option even if the one you possessed is Y/N.
You need to make an elaborate plan so you can avoid your impending death by the hands of your favourite character so you can’t just sit around and wait for something to happen – no matter how distraught you wake up one day in an unfamiliar bed.
Even though there’s no chance you will fall in love with the Duke of Spring like in the original novel – things can still go wrong if you make changes in the natural flow of the story, so you need to think this through carefully. You need to think about the plot holes and that the characters you see can be different from what you read in the book as that only tells you one side of the story.
The first thing you need to change gradually is the way the servants and the Duke see you.
The first week when you reincarnated as Y/N you spent your days with a high fever bedridden, you’re not sure if the pain came from the strain of absorbing the real Y/N’s memories or if something else is behind it. Your health is very poor as your medical history suggested, but you get accustomed to the villainess' body step by step. After another week your probation ended so you were able to leave the estate freely again. There were days when sudden headaches interrupted your day and, in the morning, you often coughed up blood.
You ignored it at first because the symptoms seemed to get better with time, and you had no way of knowing if it was normal. You didn’t ask in case someone found it suspicious. The most important thing right now is that you need to focus on staying alive and avoiding your death at the end of this novel – this is what you thought without knowing anything at that time.
As the plot thickens when you least expect it.
It’s not just your weird health conditions your head hurts just from thinking about the actions of the real owner of this body.
You just can’t grasp why a beautiful woman like Y/N would do those cruel things when she has everything she could’ve asked for. She’s a rich girl born with a golden spoon in her mouth, and she gets crazy just because she can’t have a man. It feels unnatural. If someone asks you to choose between life and a man you would choose life without hesitation.
You can have another man but not another life. Er, well – in your case, you do get another one thought but that’s beside the point.
Even before that incident happened with the female lead, she had a terrible reputation among the nobles.
Well – you can’t do anything if you’re not well rested so you will just think about this a bit later. You can’t possibly pull another all-nighter to study how this novel works. You close your eyes to finally get some shut eye when some woman barges into your room without knocking forcefully parting your curtains to let the early rays of sunshine in. The sound of her voice makes you freeze. This uncomfortable feeling suddenly ripped through your body as if a pile of rocks were sitting on your chest not letting you breathe. While you gained some of Y/N’s memories there are still holes in those fragments that you’re unsure of. However, her feelings are so intense sometimes that your body reacts like clockwork.
What you feel after hearing her voice is sheer terror. Who is this woman that even a villainess like Y/N is even afraid of? You can’t open your eyes as if your body is doing it unconsciously, unmoving like a doll to protect itself. Someone is coming closer.
You feel a prick on your forearm and your eyes fly open due to the pain. Her name appears in your mind as soon as you see her face and some of Y/N’s memories flood your head regarding that nasty woman. She triggers something dark in your eyes to appear.
Your nanny, Biwon.
“Wake up. Are you planning to sleep till the afternoon?” Biwon lets out a fake troubled sigh and her eyes are full of arrogance when you meet them you freeze completely at the sight.
“I’m sorry nanny.” Your mouth moves on its own like a broken record. It feels like this is not the first time she wakes Y/N up with a prick of a needle and the apology comes to her like second nature. Y/N’s attitude shows all kinds of trauma of being abused. How is it that this was never mentioned in the novel? While not much was mentioned about how she grew up you would think this is a piece of important information to have.
“Wash your face the duke requested to have breakfast with you for some reason.” She left without giving you any kind of assistance like a maid should do. At last, the water in the basin is ice cold to the touch and murky it manages to wake you up completely from shock.
You’re not just imagining it. Biwon has complete power over Y/N even though she’s the lady of the house.
You knew that the other maids avoided Y/N because of her temperament but to think that she’s been through manipulation and abuse by someone so close to her. Because Biwon is the one who spent the most time next to Y/N ever since she was a child everyone buys her lies. No one pays attention to Y/N, not her father or her brother.
She has no one to rely on in this household.
Biwon deliberately made her isolated in her own home so she could control and exploit her. Her malicious plan is clear to you after observing the situation objectively. What else is there that was not mentioned in the novel? Things might be more complicated than you thought.
However, this is not the time to ponder over this. You need to get ready alone. It didn’t take you long to realise Biwon forbids the maids from helping you so you can embarrass yourself in front of your family. While the real Y/N would have problems with getting dressed and being presentable without help as she’s a noble – there’s one tiny fault in your nanny’s plan – that she has no idea that you’re a modern woman who can wear her own fucking dress and get ready all by herself. She has a lot of extravagant dresses, so you had a hard time choosing but then something caught your eye. This dress has been buried deep in your wardrobe, a solid light cream-coloured dress with an elegant bow in the front. This is the perfect dress.
You do light makeup to match the dress and leave your long hair down after brushing it. While you were getting dressed you saw the countless bruises on your skin and your right arm was full of holes from the needle your nanny used to stab you with to wake you up. It’s good that the dress is long-sleeved. There’s no way the maids don’t know about your abuse since they bathe you. So, your guess is they are either the nanny’s people or they just simply don’t care enough to tell the duke. It’s clear the duke doesn’t care about Y/N so it wouldn’t benefit them to tell him when they could face the wrath of your nanny if she finds out. They think he wouldn’t do anything about it, and you think so too.
You feel compassion for Y/N. She was made to be a villain even if it doesn’t excuse her actions in the end. It’s only been two weeks for you, but she had to endure this for a lifetime.
You’re determined to change her future even more now that you know the truth. You’re going to live for her as well.
Opening the door to your room you find a maid waiting for you to lead you to the dining room as per the duke’s request. She looks taken aback by your neat appearance but doesn’t say anything and just shows you the way.
She dares to walk ahead of you. Even if you want to give her a piece of your mind you hold yourself back, you can’t afford to create a ruckus and be sent back to probation. It’s not that you care about who walks in front of you it’s the meaning of this action that angers you.
You hold back by creating a fist the pain of your nails digging into your palms in half-moon shapes keeps your head clear and controls your bubbling rage. You’re going to show everyone how Y/N won’t bow down anymore. You’re not a doormat that everyone can just walk over.
You’re not going to let everyone disrespect you ever again but to achieve that you need to make a plan and be more patient.
First thing first you need to make the duke care about you to an extent so he will listen to you. Good thing that you know the novel. You might be able to use that information to get what you want. You’re not going to make him like you, you just need to be useful for him to look at you. You’re not sure he would be even capable of liking you in the first place – not that you would want that after he neglected Y/N like that. Talk about loving family, this is just another example of being blood-related sometimes does not matter.
It's not like he’s your real dad anyway.
The dining room is just as fancy as the rest of the mansion. By the time you arrive the duke and your brother are already seated and chatting. The duke is sitting at the head of the table and Seokjin is sitting on his right.
Your tableware is set away from them probably a scheme made by your nanny to keep you isolated.
She must be afraid of why the duke suddenly wanted to dine with you when he usually never bothers to see you. You can’t let this golden opportunity pass like that. You’re going to make the most of it.
“Good morning, Father, Brother. Sorry for being late.” You give them a little courtesy. You’re careful to get your posture nice and graceful like you read in the etiquette book. The nanny purposefully discouraged the young Y/N to skip classes and remain a dumb doll for her to exploit but you’re not going to let her continue to do that.
While your posture is not perfect this will at least show that you’re trying to be as polite as possible.
You stayed up all night for an entire week to study about this new world’s etiquette and history to play your part more convincingly who knew that your knowledge would come in handy in a situation like this? You’re thankful that you decided to study even before you realised the nanny’s schemes.
You school your features to remain passive as you look at the grand duke’s and your brother’s dumb expressive faces. It looks like they are seeing a ghost. Even though you’re annoyed to be bent like that you keep the position until you receive the acknowledgement like a lady should. How annoying that you must bow like that until you are recognised by a man.
“It’s alright. Sit down, Y/N.” The duke gives you a curt nod seemingly flustered that he stared at you for so long. You remind him of his late wife a lot dressed like that. To everyone’s biggest surprise, you take a seat directly on his left side facing your brother.
You remain silent in your seat knowing that the duke’s pride will take a hit if he doesn’t correct the mistake that he didn’t even notice until you sat down. Usually, they wouldn’t care if you sit far away, they would probably think that you were the one who wanted the seat away from them in the first place as a sign of defiance but they can’t deny that you’re the lady of the house so to assume you would sit far away is an arrogant mistake on the servants part.
“What are you waiting for give my daughter a set and bring the food.” Thankfully the duke is just like you expected. He looks annoyed at the servants. His authority is absolute so the maids scurry to bring you some new tableware and bring out the food. The lonely set is forgotten at the rear end of the table. This is the first time you see something so mouthwatering in a while since you were forced to eat in your room and the food, they brought you was not even close to this. Now that you think about it, it was probably some leftover from the kitchen. No wonder Y/N is this thin.
It probably wasn’t even part of her punishment so someone must be stealing the food that is made for Y/N.
It’s hard to control your expression or your body language that is burned into your body by nature. You’re feeling uncomfortable all over that you can’t enjoy the food at all. It’s sad to see how rigid you are in the presence of your supposed family members. You don’t have any appetite even though you feel like you’re starving.
“How are things with Gold Wing? Did you manage to get them to agree with our terms?”
The Gold Wing is under the jurisdiction of the House of Summer. The old man Jung Jeyhun is a greedy man who keeps delaying his son’s succession because he wants to keep his title as an archduke. He’s the hidden boss of this novel. Y/N can’t compare with an evil villain like him. There’s probably no one else who knows he’s backing that trading company. You’re an exception only because you read the novel and know everything about how he wants to be the sole ruler of the Empire. He’s behind many unfortunate events that happen in the novel that no one finds out about until it’s too late.
“No. They’re trying to sell their stones for double the price. Knowing that none of the other companies have that much supply since they bought the rights to the mines.” Your brother looks irritated as if he recalls the meeting with the head of the company vividly.
No wonder they are cocky, they have the backing of House Summer, and they cheated the other rival companies out of the right to produce this type of stone that’s particularly high priced in the first section of the book. This stone is called Stelar which is steel but it’s a novel, so they had to give it a fancy name. Swords here are mainly made from two important ingredients iron or steel, but steel has a longer durability and is easy to craft to different shapes, so they tend to use that instead of iron which is way cheaper because of this fact. The knights used swords made with Stelar but because of the high price, it was hard to come by after the Gold Wing trading company monopolized the rights.
Their goal is to weaken the other three houses’ military power by selling the stones at a high price and getting funds for their territory but it’s not the only reason. The swords they sell are not simply made of Stelar. Steel is an alloy of iron. Iron needs to be mixed with carbon to make steel. They use some steel and put more iron to degrade the quality of the sword which breaks more easily than it should. You remember learning of it in school in your previous life, but these people don’t know of it because the novel has plot holes here and there. Since the novel focuses on the main characters things that are not related to them too much have more freedom to change, and things may differ as the author cannot mention every little thing. This could be what you need to make changes.
The truth that they tempered with the swords that got imported only comes to light when Yoongi investigates the company when he almost loses the battle with the barbarians but that battle only happens when you reach nearly half of the novel. He could tell that there was a difference in quality when he saw the sword break too easily. He made an assumption just by that and the fact that the new sword became heavier due to the added mass of iron.
Even if you feel bad for taking credit for his discovery you need to use that information, he finds out later so you can survive in this household.
“May I speak up, father?” You heard enough to grasp the current situation. You need to speak up before you lose your courage.
“What can you even contribute to this conversation?” Your brother looks angry that he got interrupted. In your eyes he’s not scary he’s just a big child throwing a tantrum when things don’t go his way. You decide to calmly face him even if you have to hide your nervousness by clasping your hands together under the table for comfort. Still can’t control the original Y/N’s physical reactions.
“I don’t think I asked brother.”
The duke raises his hand to silence Jin before he can spit out angrier remarks. The moment you appeared and gracefully bowed wearing your mother’s dress the duke could tell that something about you just became different. The air around you is filled with determination.
He got reports of you acting unusually tame so he asked you to dine together and see it for himself.
Your eyes that only reflected the world around it suddenly became full of will to live.
He’s curious to hear what you have to say. Usually, you wouldn’t speak unless you were spoken to. “Do you perhaps have a good idea of how to deal with them?” He proposes fully giving you his attention.
“The problem is that we don’t have Stelar to make swords for the knights, right? I suggest we find a mine suitable to harvest the stones we need that way we don’t have to depend on the trading company.”
“Are you a fool? Do you think if we could produce it, we would continue to make this ridiculous deal work?” You’re getting tired of your brother always cutting in. You can’t get angry though. The first thing you need to change is how people see you and you can’t get angry because the people around you will call you a temperamental child even if your anger is justified. They wouldn’t care either way they just want to belittle you. You just need to not allow them to do so.
“We have a place like that in our territory that could be suitable. I can mark it on a map if you’d like.” Even though the duke might be suspicious of how you know of a place like that he will investigate either way. This deal is too good to pass up on.
In hopes of discovering a new mine, he will even accept the flimsy lie of you just discovered it by reading some book and looking at maps.
“Alright. I will instruct the knights to check it out. If what you said is true, I will reward you.” You nod your head pleased with the outcome of this uncomfortable breakfast.
In the novel the imperial prince comes across the mine in your territory when he’s running away from assassins and due to his discovery, he gets praised by the king for solving a big problem. However, if you find the mine first that puts you in a favourable position with the other houses and even the king if you give the stones at a lower price making the Gold Wing trading company lose its base customers by making better deals.
Thankfully that painful breakfast comes to an end soon as father’s aid whispers something into his ear. He leaves in a hurry which makes you think it’s about something important and work-related.
Your brother leaves without saying a word so you can finally enjoy your food alone.
Ever since you came to this place you’ve never been this full before, it puts you in a fairly good mood. You even managed to grab the duke’s attention and for once got something more filling than stale bread.
All you need to do is wait until the mine is discovered and now that one thing is out of the way you need to start with disciplining your maids and get your nanny kicked out. Biwon had a good life here up to this point because now that you’re here you will make it a living hell for her, and that’s a promise.
“What did you talk about with the duke?” You’re not surprised to find your nanny in your room when you get back. She looks anxious you can see how her nails are bitten and she slightly thumps her foot. You got back early so if you tell her some half-truths, she won’t suspect you that much.
“He didn’t talk to me at all. He only talked with my brother about work that I don’t understand. I don’t know why they keep ignoring me. You’re the only one who cares about me, nanny.” Good thing that the maids left after serving the meal, you would be in trouble if someone overheard you and you were caught lying. You bury your head in her apron to conceal your disgusted expression when she caresses your head.
You need to act like usual, so she won’t suspect a thing. If her guard is down, it will be easier for you to make your move.
You can easily produce some fake tears for the greater good.
“That’s right, only I care about you. Who else would love a useless child like you.” You bite your tongue to hold back when Biwon hugs you. You agree with her even if you want to break her arms that hugs you like a shameless person.
Biwon doesn’t use needles on you again to erase her marks since you started to dine with the duke. Thankfully she doesn’t realise what you’re planning.
The mine you talked about last time turned out to be true and the duke was very happy to get back at the Gold Wing trading company. He started to make a profit thanks to you, and he even listened to your suggestion of lowering the price to sell it to the other houses. Developing the mining ground consumes a lot of money at the moment but the profit will be greater than ever if it’s finished. You asked to have dinner with them every day as a reward which made him look surprised. He reluctantly agreed when you asked to make your contribution a secret for now you can’t let your nanny hear about it just yet. The duke probably thought he would buy you some clothes and accessories and you will be all set. Unfortunately for them, you don’t care about luxuries especially if it comes from them.
While you would prefer to not eat with them you need to show the staff that you’re indeed the lady of the house. Now they are giving you the bare minimum of respect after the maid got scolded by your father after the tableware incident.
You didn’t think Jin would come after you excused yourself from the meal. Right when you leave the dining room your brother appears halting you in your step and grabbing your hand forcefully to stop you in your tracks.
“Where are you going in a hurry so dressed up?” Your wrist throbs in his hold. That bastard how could he grab the hand of his sister so hard? Compared to him your body is so small you look like a child next to him. You’re not surprised since you were malnourished before. You’re sure it will bruise badly but you refuse to show him that he’s hurting you.
“I believe it’s none of my brother’s business where I go in my free time.” You look into his eyes with confidence. Y/N was always longing for her brother’s love but you’re not the real Y/N and you will never consider him your brother, so his attitude doesn’t bother you at all emotionally. He simply became a person you’re forced to live with and tolerate for now.
If everything is over you will cut ties with them for good.
“You’ve been acting weird ever since your probation. If this is your way of seeking attention from father or I, that will never happen no matter what you’re scheming.”
Using the moment of his surprise you get out of his hold and get farther away from him. Your smile says it all. ‘I don’t consider you a brother so go to hell’. You’re getting angry but you refuse to show him any reaction even if you can’t exactly control the fire in your eyes.
“You don’t have to be afraid of that. I don’t consider people who neglect and belittle me my family at all. I don’t need your love or attention anymore.” You show him your back confidently as you walk away from his frozen form.
“Gaon prepare some indigestion medicine for me. Is the carriage ready?” Jin catches your voice talking to your maid still frozen on the spot you left him.
Your eyes looked different. When you were young you used to beg for his affection always clinging to him but now. Why does it look like you despise him and why does it bother him?
He never felt anything for you for a very long time.
“Yes, my lady everything is like you instructed.” You nod satisfied by the way things progress.
Now there’s only one thing left to do.
You’re on your way to meet with the head of the blacks information guild. The only one who could top the Gold Wing trading company by power would be them. The blacks is one of the largest information-selling guilds – trading only to deceive people and hide the fact that they know everything that can be known throughout the empire.
They have men everywhere. The head is conveniently the second young master of house Autumn who currently stays in House Summer territory. Jeon Jungkook is clever enough to know that information is the most important thing to have the upper hand this is how he was able to survive the battle for succession.
It will be probably dangerous to meet him but you will have to take this gamble on if you want things to work out you need the backing of the most powerful guild in the empire.
Convenient that the duke doesn’t care about Y/N’s safety so you don’t need to play hide and seek with the guards you can do your business without getting interrupted. If you say you don’t need an escort, they back off immediately and let you leave.
Following the novel’s description, you look for a house with a red chimney and a black door away from the main streets. Once you find it you have to knock two then three times until someone asks, “Are you lost?” and you have to reply with “Yes can you tell me where can I find black paint?” - and you’re in.
It’s only a select few that know about this code so Jungkook will be suspicious of how a lady with a bad reputation knows about it, but you came to make a deal that he can’t refuse. You can talk around the fact of how you know about their secret entrance.
As you expected Jungkook came himself to greet you, you could recognise that brown hair and emerald eyes anywhere.
“Please have a seat. I prepared some tea.” His smile is pleasant but calculating. His intentions are clear unlike when you talk to your blood relatives, so you’re surprisingly relaxed in his presence. Jungkook is intrigued by your body language. Usually, people are distrustful of him because of his mask. Your eyes tell him that you know more than you look.
“I have a request to make. I would like to know what this liquid is and any information that you can get on it or the bottle.” Jungkook is said to like straightforward people, so you try to be confident.
Jungkook laughs seeing your confidence. You exceed his expectations he heard that you’re stupid and extravagant with a bad temper, but it seems like his information is outdated. That needs to change he smirks.
He gives you credit for realising he wields information. Usually, people come to his guild to do business. Not many know that the purpose of the blacks is different.
“How much will you pay me for the information?”
“I heard I can pay with information for information. I have something important to tell you anyway.”
“Oh.” People rarely have any information that he doesn’t already know but you look so confident that he has to humour you. “Please enlighten me.” Taking a relaxed laid-back pose he awaits your answer.
“The head of the Gold Wing trading company is the current Duke of House Summer and he has a spy in your guild.” The only reason the blacks are not at the top is because of the upper hand they gain from the spy. No one would suspect that Jungkook’s right-hand man is a spy. He causes the guild’s destruction near the end of the novel. Heartbroken from the betrayal Jungkook is stabbed by him in the end.
Jungkook grips the side of the sofa after hearing your daring words until the wood slightly splits. He doesn’t usually trust people so to think that someone betrayed him feels impossible.
“I’m not saying that without evidence. There’s a tree in the back looking directly at the alleyway if you dig the dirt near the roots, you will find a letter with a coded message it was placed there this afternoon so you have to look for it before sunrise. I swear on my life that if I lie to you, you have the right to kill me.” The only way he will believe you is if you match the sacrifice for your accusation. Your life is on the line, but you know you’re right.
Or that you hope it’s the same as in the novel.
Jungkook instructs one of his men to look for the tree. He visibly pales when he sees the man come back with a dirty envelope. He reads the letter with a face of indifference, but you know he is furious deep inside and somewhat sad. Trust is not easily given away by him.
“Who— ” Jungkook closes his eyes to compose himself. “Who is the spy?” He appears distraught which is normal considering the fact you just dumped on him suddenly.
You hesitate for a moment. You know this information will hurt him, but he is entitled to the truth – and you do this to save his life in the end. “It’s Sam.”
You can tell it hit him hard but you don’t think he doesn’t believe you. He might get angry and it’s really not your place to intervene. However, you know this feeling very well. Being betrayed by someone you trusted. If nothing else you can sympathise with that feeling.
“Please excuse my rudeness.” You tell before you impulsively side-hug him. He’s so surprised by your embrace that he doesn’t try to push you away immediately. You’re so warm and your hand is comforting on his back. He doesn’t know you, but it feels like you understand him to some extent.
He closes his eyes and lets this moment pass by. Hidden from prying eyes it’s just – you and him for this moment.
At last, he composes himself and accepts your request. He even gives you a pendant that’s only given to the highest-ranking customers saying that your information is worth that much.
It’s a pretty pendant with a black snake on it. Looks like a masterpiece.
Thankfully nothing out of the ordinary happened while you were out. You were able to enjoy some snacks when you got back in peace as your nanny was on vacation.
You need to make your move while Biwon is away your plan needs to be done by the time she gets back. Thanks to the blacks information guild – you were able to identify the liquid your nanny made you drink every day — you only had to wait two days to hear from them.
Your discovery is enraging and liberating at the same time.
It helped you put the pieces together and even gave you an advantage to work with. To finally know the full truth of what happened to Kim Y/N. This could be a good explanation for why you couldn’t access all her memories or why some things become hazy the longer you thought about it.
Life was way too cruel for a girl like Y/N.
Now that you’ve set up the stage you just need to wait for the protagonists to arrive.
Biwon seems relaxed after her vacation; she probably enjoyed a luxurious life out of the jewellery she stole from you. You’re getting sick just from seeing her smile. It must have felt good to be able to look down on a noble lady and make Y/N cater to her all this time, exploiting a poor young lady. To think that all those rumours come from her to isolate and degrade her. She should smile while she can you think smirking through the rim of your cup.
Now’s showtime.
The taste of tea is familiar in your mouth. Due to double the dose of the liquid she made you drink each morning the symptoms came earlier than you anticipated. Suddenly getting on the drug after you stopped taking it is a huge risk, but you need to prove her involvement in the crime.
You didn’t think it would hurt this much though. Your head clouded over soon, and your body collapsed on the floor in tremor.
Gaon called the doctor immediately as you instructed and while you were getting examined your other trusted maid planted the evidence in your nanny’s room. It didn’t take long to see Biwon try to escape your trap, but it was too late when the knights found the medicine bottle.
She had nowhere to run to.
You regained consciousness but it was hard for you to open your eyes yet. The pain you felt in your abdomen felt unbearable, but you need to see this through till the end.
“I can’t believe I didn’t notice this. To tell the truth, the lady came to me often to ask for headache medicine.” You could feel the worry in the doctor’s voice. You feel bad for suspecting him at first. He might be the only one to actually care for Y/N in this forsaken house.
“This drug is called blackroot it’s made from a rare flower that was used in a war experiment in the past. The characteristic of the flower is that it can manipulate the mind – it makes the user unable to control their temper and creates hazy thoughts. While it works as a brainwashing technique it has all kinds of side effects such as explosive temper, haziness, headaches, loss of appetite and memory loss. The longer someone takes it the more fragile that person will become.”
No wonder Y/N is this thin. When you first heard about this drug you felt incredibly furious to make her take such a dangerous drug just because Biwon was greedy for things she couldn’t have.
Once the dizziness subsided you were able to open your eyes it seemed like the medicine the doctor gave you had some effect. The pain is still there but your head is clearer.
“I- didn’t do this! I was framed!” Biwon begs on her knees in front of the duke and young master but seeing their reactions no one actually buys that half-hearted accusation. Serves her right.
You made sure to get solid evidence of her crime.
You’re able to sit up thanks to Gaon’s help and you look down upon your nanny with a hard expression.
You cannot believe this is finally over.
Now no one will dare to take advantage of you after this incident comes to light. It won’t make your reputation restored to how it was before but at least it will provide you with a good opportunity to show the people around you that you’re different without having to fear someone figuring out you’re not the real Y/N.
“Have the witnesses come forward.” The maid who is questioned is shaking like a leaf in front of the duke.
“Who served Y/N tea?” Jin comes forward to interrogate the maids. For some reason, he looks livid. It’s probably because of their pride. How dare they manipulate the duke’s daughter a mere maid. – they probably think like that.
“The nanny always prepares the tea for the lady in the morning. No one was allowed to touch it I swear I didn’t know that the lady’s tea had blackroot in it.”
“That’s right, we were never allowed to serve her tea or be present when she made it we would be only called when the lady was about to get dressed.” If they were present at all you think for yourself as you roll your eyes.
“N- No! That…” Biwon looks around like a cornered animal. It’s nothing compared to what you’ve been through. No, you promised the real Y/N that you would not let her go so easily.
“I’ve heard enough. Drag her to the underground dungeon.” After hearing the duke’s command, the knights drag Biwon out of the room. Finally, some quiet. Your head is killing you.
“Everyone leave, now. My daughter needs to rest.” As if seeing it on you that you’re nearly at your limits the grand duke instructs everyone to let you be.
Everyone leaves except for one person. Jin looks torn as he contemplates what to say to his sister.
You know the reason why Jin treated Y/N with contempt is because of that incident in the past. Y/N mad because of withdrawal symptoms from the drug called him a monster. She told him that because of him their mother died, and she even threw a teacup in his face that made him bleed. In reality, she partially blamed him for being forgotten and emotionally abused. After that Jin ignored her altogether. While saying those things are hash and not justified because of the drugs the behaviour of her brother is not something that you can overlook either. There’s no clear line to determine what’s right or wrong. You can’t simply judge if someone deserves forgiveness as it entirely depends on the person who’s granting it.
There are no right or wrong answers.
Their relationship was probably a bad fate. You’re not his sister so you have no intention of making up with him even though he’s wearing that pitiful expression. You feel bad for Y/N but you’re not going to live as her shadow forever. Once this story ends you will leave this kingdom and live as yourself. To make that happen you need to keep your relationship with Y/N’s family distant just like before so you could leave without problems in the future.
“How are you feeling?” Y/N has memories of when her brother spoke to her softly like this. Too bad it’s too late for Y/N to see this. You pull your hand away when he tries to hold it.
“This doesn’t change a thing between you and me. I would appreciate it if you could ignore me like before.” You turn away not inclined to see that pitiful expression on his face anymore.
Thankfully he leaves without a fuss this time.
Things are only growing more awkward as time passes. You made the suggestion of dining with them every day to avoid being punished by Biwon, but it comes back to bite you in the ass now that she’s gone, and no one dares to bother you anymore. You ignore the looks of pity you receive from the staff. They were the ones who ignored and badmouthed you. They have no right to take pity on you at all.
Those who did not try to see the truth don’t deserve to feel regretful.
It's annoying to see the duke and your brother try to get closer to you. They have no idea what Y/N had to go through while they were living in their blissful ignorance.
You wonder if things would have been different if she had been born as a boy in this period. Women are often ill-fated. How tragic.
“Your birthday is coming up in a few months. Do you have something in mind about how you want the celebration banquette?” Your fork freezes in the air when the duke calls you.
While you don’t want a party it would be good to build your reputation. You have no choice but to have one.
“I’ll prepare for it. Thank you for your concern.” You keep your eyes on the food. After taking that double dose your appetite seems to be worse than before. You need to gain some weight, you’re too thin as it is.
“Don’t worry about the budget just prepare how you like.” You’re getting dizzy this is getting bad you overestimated and thought some rest was all you needed. You need to take better care of yourself if you want to beat the final boss of the story. This is about time you meet with your favourite character as well. You need to look your best even if he only glances at you for a second. You’re getting excited just thinking about him.
“Alright. Excuse me I’m full.” You step away from the table to leave and prepare for the upcoming events when you lose your sight for a moment. Thankfully the head butler catches you in time that you’re not faceplanting the floor this moment.
“I’m fine. Thank you.” You push the old man away with reddened ears. This is so embarrassing.
“I’ll carry you to your room.” Your hand automatically holds onto your brother when he suddenly picks you up, to keep your balance. Now you’re really getting tired of their sudden act of affection.
“I said. I’m fine.” You pursue your lips in a frown when he keeps ignoring you to let you down.
“You can hate me all you want. I deserve it but I’m not letting you down.” You’re speechless. At least he knows. It doesn’t matter if he has regrets now that you solved everything.
If it weren’t for your effort and sacrifice things would have been left alone and you would be still suffering without anyone to rely on at the hands of your greedy nanny.
They can feel guilty all they want; it doesn’t change a thing. If anything, you’re feeling angrier about how they think they have the right to make things right after everything that has happened.
It’s bothersome.
“It won’t change anything. No matter how hard you try I’ll never consider you as family again. Not after you and father abandoned me. You don’t know anything about me or how much I suffered. If you didn’t care then don’t care now.” It’s probably hard to hear and somewhat you feel guilty for saying that since you don’t know what Y/N would have wanted but this is how you feel.
You’re torn about what you should do.
This is supposed to be your home when you feel the safest.
However, you can’t remember a single good memory or a time when you felt relaxed in this place. It just makes you sad.
“I understand.” His hand around you tightens just a tiny bit before he relaxes his posture and the hands that hold you gently. At least he’s not trying to come up with excuses. He knows fully well that what you told him was the truth. They have no idea how much you had to suffer since they kept ignoring you. His heart is getting heavy when he realises how light his sister feels in his arms. A woman in her twenties should weight a lot more than this. He’s carrying you with care and gently places you on top of your bed. You have no intention of getting closer to him, but it’s been bothering you for a while ever since you saw that memory. You feel like they don’t deserve your kindness. You wonder if Y/N would be forgiving. If she would be able to embrace them and trust them again. You know you can’t.
“You’re not a monster and I’m sorry for saying that so stop thinking about useless things.” You impulsively grab his hand before he can leave. This is all you can give him as an apology – you know Y/N probably would have wanted him to hear that at least. Something wavers in his eyes. You didn’t think such a small gesture would make him cry. Now that you think about it probably no one said such words to him before. His biggest fear. From an early age, he always heard that his mother died because of him. It shouldn’t be a small child’s fault. It makes you feel like this whole family is just unfortunate.
“I’m sorry Y/N.” Jin holds your hand with shaking fingers. You can clearly feel his tears fall as he pushes his face into your palm seeking some comfort. You don’t know how but you can feel that this apology is sincere. You don’t have the heart to push him away this time.
Just this once you will allow it.
“The captain of the imperial guards shouldn’t cry like this.” You pat his head while he cries. Seeing such a powerful figure crying into your skirt on his knees feels weird.
He hadn’t left for a while and even when he did, he looked reluctant. You could tell what he was thinking without having to hear him say it. He’s afraid that the next time you see him you will push him away and avoid him. Your hand on his head and your words comforted him. He’s the one who did wrong but, in the end, you helped him instead deal with his biggest fear a little better.
He realises that he doesn’t deserve such a good sister as you.
His sudden resolve and earnest eyes make you bite your lips in worry. You know it won’t be good when he suddenly turns around with fiery passion. “I, Kim Seokjin give my oath to Kim Y/N that I will protect you for as long as I live. If I break my promise, I’m willing to die a miserable death.” This is your first time seeing someone give their knight’s oath. His hands are elegantly placed over his heart in a kneeling position and his eyes are fierce and honest. Stupid brother, you’re not the one he should give his oath to!
That was not your intention to make him so motivated. You should really learn how to ignore things in the future if you want to avoid bothersome situations like this. It’s not like you can reject him now either.
After he finally left because of work called you collapsed on your bed.
You can’t believe he gives you the knight’s oath instead of the female lead. He’s supposed to fall in love with her and be the miserable second male lead. You expect that things will be different if you change your destiny, but such drastic changes make you anxious for the future development of the plot.
Thankfully your favourite character was not caught up in the love triangle since his territory is the farthest away from the capital. He doesn’t frequent gatherings because of his inability to fully control his powers, and he has a bad reputation overall because of his war achievements and fearful power. Throughout the novel, he is described as someone who doesn’t care about women and is only fixed to find a way to control his abilities.
Min Yoongi you can’t wait to see him at the upcoming hunting festival.
Everything becomes normal and quiet.
Your daily life is better except for the torturous dinners with your family. Thankfully Jin is busy with imperial work and your father manages his new business and duties as a duke, so you don’t have to run into them too much inside the house.
In two or three days you make a trip to see Jungkook and get useful information and sometimes chat over some tea.
What’s next on your list is to gather personal intel on people who will attend the hunting festival. The fact that this is organised by the Duke of Summer is making you anxious. You remember some crazy shit happen around that time and his main target will be your favourite character. Min Yoongi.
Trying not to look too obsessed with a man you’ve never met before you decided to look over his information last.
There’s not much that could be gathered on him (even by a professional information broker as the North keeps their gates locked skin-tight) in the first place the info that your eyes skim through is less than you expected even with the additional stuff that you know because of the novel is limited mostly to his childhood and main events which is not much at all.
He wasn’t present in all the episodes but when he’s involved – well, things were never good.
You don’t know all the archduke’s special abilities which is a concern. You know Min Yoongi can read minds. The limitation to his power is that he has to touch the person to hear all the thoughts but with malicious intent, it doesn’t even need that.
It makes him the second most powerful ability user since he can detect lies and see one’s true self. Someone has to be well aware of his ability to hide something from him.
His special skill is to tell what the other person is thinking good or bad but that means that he could hardly hear his own thoughts. The world is never silent for his ears and that has its consequences. What little is known of them in the outside world is that all the Min descendants had gone mad at some point in their lives and chose to kill themselves when there was another person that could take over the Ducey or their son became of age if they were lucky to hold on until then. Min Yoongi’s tragic childhood is summarised in a few sad lines in the novel it was not overly detailed, but you remember feeling sad.
Whilst your survival is the priority you want to change Yoongi’s fate as well if it’s possible. Even if he’s not going to madly fall in love with you. You want him to have a happy life and not end as tragically as in the novel. You liked his character a lot. Even when he was faced with such hardships, he never gave up he would never succumb to the same fate as his father, and he held on until the last moment of his life.
You admired his determination to live.
You want to do the same with your second chance and hold on until the last moment trying to change your fate.
Who knows maybe you could overcome it together.
So many scenarios run through your head imagining how you will greet him when you finally meet him, what you will say to him. All of those restless nights couldn’t have been wrong when you’re finally faced with him. None of them could get you ready for that hard cold stare that he shows you.
You practically burst open the carriage door after the chaperone states that you’ve arrived.
Being in the same space as your brother and father acting all cute and considerate for almost four full hours made you want to let the ground swallow you whole and never want to see the sun again.
This is when you first make eye contact with him – or so you think. His eyes visibly slip over your face as if he’s not even seeing you just looking through you like you’re one tree of the dozens curving the landscape. It hurts your pride a lot to be invisible to your favourite character, but you gulp it down and hold your head high when you exit the carriage.
You knew it well that he was that type of person, but it didn’t mean it still did not hurt you to see it with your own eyes. There’s one thing to say he’s not interested in women but in reality, it felt like he’s not into humans – not just women. Hearing everyone’s thoughts might be a reason why he would be so over humans that he doesn’t even want to acknowledge them but damn.
Now that you see him and not just read about him you can tell two things already. One, he’s crazy handsome. The lines that describe how good-looking he is does not give him justice. Two, the lines in the novel are too tame to describe how much he loathes to see and interact with anyone. It’s almost comical how disgust is written all over his face when he has to shake hands with nobles or greet the young ladies.
That face still has many admirers even when his expression is a permanent frown all the time. Most likely to his greatest disapproval, he’s very popular with the ladies despite his bad reputation.
You can imagine how annoying it must be for him. Forgetting how you felt hurt before you even started to feel bad for him. His circumstances are unique and, in fact, no one knows what he has to deal with every single day. Even though you know you don’t really know what it feels like.
You’re contemplating how to approach him to not get immediately shut down or seem too suspicious when some of the ladies have you locked in a circle. Seeing their arrogant expressions, you could already tell what would happen when they finally opened their mouths.
“What a surprise to see you attend this year. Are you even allowed to be outside yet?”
You grit your teeth and smile at them.
It’s a waste to argue with them and you’re not here to let them bully you. You came here to see your favourite character and they are already dampening your mood.
“The ladies might need to check their eyesight soon. I arrived here with my brother and father so if you have complaints about me being here you could always go to them.” You speak with a permanent smile but there’s nothing friendly in your expression as you cross them leaving the circle of hyenas behind you.
They’re lesser nobles of course they wouldn’t dare complain to them. Your family is powerful after all one of the four most powerful people in the kingdom is your father. They targeted you specifically because you were an easy target so far too dumb to attack them with words like they do, and Y/N's violent temper just served the right purpose to belittle her and make her the most hated woman in high society. You’re not going to give them the chance to humiliate you anymore. They are just extras in a novel.
The thought alone makes you smile. Right. You’re the main villain in this novel but you’re going to turn it into your story so that you can be the main character in your life.
Something that you always wanted to try.
The first day goes by without incident. After the second day of the hunting festival starts the hunting begins and activities for both the ladies and men begin slowly but surely following the original plot of the novel.
Until there’s a big error occurring in the middle. You don’t remember any banquet happening to welcome the most influential families. This could mean that it wasn’t relevant to the main plot to mention, or things changed somehow and now there’s a sudden dinner plan made by someone.
There’s a banquet held for the four archdukes and their families and while you’re thrilled that you’re seated right across from your favourite character you were not expecting him to death glare you right in front of your salad.
To your best knowledge you haven’t even greeted him yet so why does he look like he wants to murder your entire family? You’re unsure.
At some point, you stop avoiding him and look him in the eye but still, you can’t read his expression at all.
You feel like you don’t have to emphasise that you couldn’t eat a single thing at that dinner in peace.
You jump when a man approaches you in the empty hallway and when you look at him something clicks in your mind, now that you think about it you can recognise this man from anywhere. He’s Namjoon his right-hand man the only person that he tolerates.
“You scared the living shit out of me.” You’re so surprised that you don’t check your language before it’s already out in the open. Your eyes are wide as you look at the man probably thinking that you’re a weird person. Shit. Now you’ve done it. You tried so hard until now to remain in character and not use slang words or bad language.
Which is hard on their own as you breathe and live with words that end in fuck most likely than not.
The struggles of a modern woman. Haah.
“I mean you should not hide in the shadows like an assassin ready to strike Mr. You scared me.” You try to put the blame on him entirely so he would forget your previous words and it seems to work as he’s quick to apologise and state his business.
“Duke Min would like to speak with you. If you could please follow me, I will lead you to him.” You narrow your eyes after Namjoon finishes his sentence. Him wanting to see you is very weird.
Why?
“Does this have to do with him glaring at me throughout dinner?” You take a step back narrowing your eyes suspiciously at the man. Even though he’s just the messenger you can’t help but ask. You and him being alone after you witnessed his personality might not be the best idea even if he’s still your favourite character. You don’t want to die by his hands either.
“He.. the duke has a difficult personality but he’s not a bad person. I’m sure he’s just interested in the lady.” You can tell that Namjoon really believes that but for some reason you can’t picture him being interested in you. Y/N might be pretty but the duke is not that kind of person to be captivated by something so shallow as that. That has to be a different reason why he wants to talk with you in private and while you’re anxious.
You decide its best to see what he wants.
Also, he’s not someone that anyone can just say no to. He will most likely force you to meet him. It might be your best option to get this over with and see where this conversation goes. If it even goes anywhere. He’s a practical person like that.
You’re anxious and excited at the same time as you follow Namjoon just a step behind.
“Who are you?” You’re perplexed to meet with this type of question. He cornered you without warning, both his hands were caging your hip, your backside digging into the edge of the table.
You’re scared and strangely excited to be this close. Your heart is beating heavily trying to break out from your ribcage.
“Kim Y/N.” You reply dumbly while still trying to process this sudden change in his behaviour and his closeness to you.
You were greeting him first and suddenly you’re completely caged in.
“Kim? Is Duke Kim your father?” You would find his furrowing brows adorable if you weren’t so close to witnessing it. His scent is overpowering your senses, and your faces are just a hair's breadth away from touching – your favourite character makes it hard for you to think straight. Air is caught in your lungs when he holds you by your chin tilting your head up to meet with his eyes.
“Y-Yes.” You’re unsure what he wants to hear from you. From the moment you stepped into his office, he kept questioning you without answering any of yours in return.
“Am I interrupting something?” Both of your gazes turn to face a surprised Kim Namjoon standing by the door. He looks exactly like he just got here and witnessed something weird happening. You can’t blame him for it, you’re surprised as well. Min Yoongi keeps acting weird. He looks somewhat bewitched as he keeps looking between you and Namjoon almost bordering to look crazy in your eyes for a moment.
As if he’s in a deep thought about something mind breaking discovery.
Yoongi didn’t hear his right hand man coming at all but what’s even weirder than that is he can’t hear his thoughts at all.
It all started when he tried to read this woman’s mind throughout the dinner celebration but failed while everyone’s else mind spoke to him clearly. He found it strange for her to be the only exception. As if she has a shield around her mind that doesn’t allow his power to penetrate. The Kim family’s power is to neutralize other powers (everyone is aware of it as the family never tried to hide it) but that can’t be the answer since he could hear their thoughts all the same as you have to be aware of the power you’re trying to block but no one knows that he can read minds.
But now upon making contact with her, he can’t even hear what others are thinking. Which could mean her power is even more rare compared to her family. Everything is quite like it was never before. It’s unsettling but on the other hand, it’s quiet and peaceful.
A realisation draws on him that Kim Y/N might be the key to finally learning to control this power of his that has been plaguing his generation of heirs and forcing them to live a miserable life until they either take their lives or become insane. Her power acts like a tranquillizer almost. Tasting this peaceful silence Yoongi’s hand curves around her waist more protectively. Protective of this silence he’s experiencing for the first time in his life.
He will do anything to keep this woman by his side from now on. He comes to a firm resolution on the spot.
“Be my wife.” To say you feel shocked after hearing that would be an understatement. This is not your usual love confession, and you know it. There’s nothing tender in his words or expression if anything it feels like a business transaction to you.
It’s clear he’s proposing an arranged marriage kind of deal where you both get something out of it but you’re not fond of the idea. In your previous life, you never had a real boyfriend whilst you dated here and there. Someone you could say is the love of your life you never once experienced that feeling, and you don’t want a marriage in your second life without love. You decided to do anything you wanted from now on.
“I’m sorry but I have to refuse your proposal. I won’t marry a man I know is not in love with me and I don’t love him either. This is not something I want.” Too shocked to reply you use that time to get out of his hold and get away before he regains his senses after getting rejected. He probably didn’t think anyone would dare to say no to him as he was aware to be popular with the ladies. This just makes you even more unique as it was anyone else, they would have said yes immediately to an offer like that. Namjoon gets out of your way as you leave, his mouth hanging open still trying to process that the man who notoriously hates women suddenly asked for a lady’s hand in marriage and getting brutally rejected by one at the same time.
The door shuts behind you abruptly and Yoongi massages his temple with his hands trying to figure out what he did wrong for you to storm out like that. Was his proposal not to your liking? What does it even mean to marry the person you love is beyond his comprehension.
End of part 1.
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laura’s yoongi recs
I’ve been reading fics in here nonstop way before I started this blog. It felt like a sin not compiling a list of some of the stories that I loved and hadn’t gotten around to sharing yet, a few of them safe in my drafts until I was ready to make this.
I will keep on adding onto this list as I keep finding stories I've read before and would love to share with you. Leave some love and appreciation to the authors if you can!
disclaimer: all stories that include mature themes will be labeled accordingly. DNI if you aren’t 18+.
♡ - favorite
S E R I E S
please be naked by @floralseokjin ♡
◦ fuckbuddies au, rebound au, angst, smut, fluff
trip no further by @matchy6812 ♡
◦ soulmate au, idol au, humor, angst, fluff, smut
countermelody by @bonvoyagenoona
◦ producer and artist au, e2f2l, humor, angst, fluff, smut
grey area by @blushoseoks ♡
◦ soulmates au, angst, eventual smut
matilda by @babystrcandy
◦ brother’s best friend au, f2e2f2l, angst, smut, fluff
mixtape by @sailoryooons
◦ brother’s best friend au, friends to lovers, angst, fluff, smut
carousel by @yoonia
◦ arranged marriage au, ceo!yoongi, angst, fluff, smut
the deal by @untaemedqueen
◦ drug lord au, strangers to lovers, angst, fluff, smut
the songbird series by maia ♡
◦ mxm, yoonmin au, pirate au, enemies to lovers, angst, fluff, smut
ukiyo by sharleena ♡
◦ mxm, yoonmin au, drug lord au, succubus, angst, fluff, smut
greedy by @xjoonchildx ♡
◦ mafia au, angst, fluff, smut
so it goes by @prodagustd
◦ fwb, angst, fluff, smut
•
O N E - S H O T S
lining’s silver by @sketchguk
◦ fashion designer!yoongi, artist!reader, fluff, smut
mixtape by @jungblue ♡
◦ podcast personality au, college au, humor, fluff, smut
want a taste? by @suga-kookiemonster
◦ friends to lovers, shopping mall au, humor, smut
cream & suga by @snackhobi
◦ holidays au, coffeeshop au, fluff, smut
first, last and always by @floralseokjin
◦ exes to lovers, angst, fluff, brief smut
punch drunk by @joonbird
◦ boxer au, angst, smut
dark side of your room by @sketchguk
◦ ghost yoongi, familiar au, smut, angst
sweetener by @taegularities
◦ former fuckboy au, fwb, enemies to lovers, smut, fluff
sticks & stones by @xpeachesncream
◦ massage au, ex-fwb au, mutual pining, light angst, fluff, smut
•
last updated: 10/06/23
note #1: if any fic recommended is in hiatus, the author has yet to update or left altogether, please do not pester them with updates.
note #2: These are not all of my MYG recs! There’s more with extensive commentary from me here and you can find more of my favorites here
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CHAPTER II - sponsalia
LACRIMOSA | MYG MAFIA YANDERE AU
pairings: mafia leader!yoongi x f!reader
genre: mafia!au, yandere au, historical au
summary: Their interlocking gaze served as a butterfly effect on his heart, stirring it to the core. She, in turn, only dreams to find a way to escape. But perchance, over time she might forcefully learn to love the man who has taken so much from her.
Thus unfolds a twisted tale of love and loss, of hope and despair, of life and death. The music reverberated through the dimly-lit streets. Tears of sorrow, weeping symphony - reflects the hurt, the scars that linger deep within and the wounds that never healed. Lacrimosa.
chapter warnings: minors dni 18+ | mafia au, dark!yoongi, mafia!yoongi, yandere, kidnapping, mentions of God, mention of drugs, manipulation, possessive/obsessive behaviour, angst, mentions of death, overwhelming, violence, sexual tension
beta read by @chaoticpuff17
word count: 6,7K
disclaimer: this story is purely fictional, it does not depict real-life events or involve any actual members of BTS. This story will contain depictions of violence, blood shed, death, mentions of abuse, smoking, alcohol drinking, illegal activities, old social norms and traditions, which we do not condone.
m.list CHAPTER I CHAPTER III
sponsalia (n.) engagement
The heavy rain casts a hazy veil over the world around her and the sound of them reminds her of the storm that rages within. The last memory is coming through the light once she opens her eyes and sees, now, familiar surroundings. Lost and trapped. She wishes this to be only a mere nightmare she will wake up from. Her voice sore and barely audible, she whispers into the quiet room illuminated by the fire from the fireplace, “Why did you let this happen, my lord?” Knowing deep down that her question will remain unanswered, she longs for just one response—
“A twist of fate, perhaps, my little dove.”
She does not dare to turn herself to the voice, never before feeling such overwhelming fear. Her heart aches with sadness and is reigned by fear and perhaps a tinge of disappointment at her inability to escape and flee the spars of this world.
“No courage now? You displayed enough when you injured one of my men,” he chuckles with a sly grin, thoroughly intrigued by the woman lying in his bed.
“Is he alright?” She rises from the bed, unaware that every word she utters draws him even deeper.
“Are you concerned for his well-being or worried that this sin will lead you to hell?” He arches an eyebrow, curiously expecting her answer.
Lowering her gaze to her trembling hands, she stammers, “I didn’t mean to hurt him. I just needed to get away.”
‘A pure soul,’ he contemplates silently. This very woman might just be his endgame. He is determined but wishes to interrogate more. Seizing the opportunity when her guard momentarily falters, he taunts.
“Get away from me? Or was there something else, darling?” He knows he knows it all and a lot more, yet he is so intrigued to hear it from her.
“Can I leave?”
“No, —” he said quickly “—I asked you a question.”
“Why can’t I leave?” Y/N asked again, more determined to get a real answer once she started to feel an epiphany about her situation.
“Why would you want to leave?” he counters.
And for once, she started to think strongly about what awaits her once she leaves. Apart from her oppressive home, where punishment or death looms, she has nowhere else to go. Y/N failed to get away.
“Are you from the Yakuza?” she mutters, finally realising he never disclosed his identity.
“Min Yoongi,” he simply uttered his name, knowing it will answer her question. Her pupils are dilated, and her breathing gets shallow.
“Will you answer my question…. Y/N?”
Her heart races, desperately trying to regain control of her breath, but her mind remains scattered. Min. His name echoes in her mind. He stands before her, the man her father would never make peace with. It always comes down to two choices — either they strike a deal or engage in a bloody war, murdering each other’s men. Here he is, right in front of her. She has fallen into the arms of the enemy. Not only will her father punish her for running away, but now she also faces another punishment for being caught by an enemy.
“It seems there is a lot on your mind now, darling. Let me alleviate some of your burdens,” he says standing up from the low armchair by the fireplace, walking towards the bed. Her instincts urge her to retreat, her eyes welling up with tears of sorrow and fear.
“Don’t be afraid of me. If you play your cards right and obey, I promise nothing will happen to you, my love,” he murmurs, using a term of endearment that catches her attention.
“That’s it, baby. Breathe and calm down,” he whispers soothingly.
She locks eyes with him, drawn into their depths, a place where few dare to venture. Nobody dares to look directly into the leader’s eyes. She, even in this state, does so.
“Your father can’t punish you no more. You can find the freedom you seek by my side,” he says, his gaze fixed on her, memorizing every detail.
“What do you mean?” She asks with a newfound venom in her voice.
“You think I would allow your old man to marry you off to Yamamoto’s retarded excuse of a son and assure Tokyo’s alliance with Hong Kong?” He laughs.
“Heaven sent you to me, my love.” he continues, a sickly chuckle escaping his lips.
“And if you’re wondering how it benefits me to have you here, darling, I believe you’re smart enough to figure it out.”
She realises that if she refuses to marry the yakuza boy, the alliance will crumble, and her father will lose leverage against Seoul and the Mins who reign here. Y/N didn’t plan to marry a Yakuza man nonetheless, but she for sure never planned to stay in the middle of the chess board.
“I must admit, I found it admirable that you’ve managed to run away from China, through Luen’s north side, to our territory in the south, very brave,” he points out, acknowledging her efforts. “—and get to Jeju, right to Chan-yeol—” he says.
“You made it so easy for me. Thank you for that.” There is a hint of pleasure in his voice when he continues to speak.
“I bet your Sire didn’t expect that at all,” he grins. “You have a fire in you, my dear, —” he focuses back on her, “—and I cannot wait to tame you,” his voice shifting from casual to intimidating.
“You will make a fine wife,” Yoongi states.
“I’ll be no one’s wife. You must think me a fool if you believe I’ll marry you or anyone else from your circus,” she spits out defiantly. He stares at her silently.
“Careful,” he finally warns, surprising her with his calm demeanour. To get or inherit the position of leader, one must possess the patience of steel and a wise, calculating mind. All this and more, is embodied in the young leader, Min.
“I have my ways to persuade you that I’m the best thing that ever happened to you. You’ll realise that along the way,” he says, seemingly playing with her mind. ’Lord, please, you must have mistaken me for someone else,’ she silently prays.
“Care to elaborate?” she dares to ask.
“Your little cousin and her husband, and their little adorable son —” he trails off.
“You wouldn’t,” she quickly interrupts him.
“Oh, I would, darling. And even more. What about your sister, hmm? Isn’t she turning eighteen soon? My right-hand man is ready to take a wife...” he taunts.
“You cannot play with lives! Not with mine or others —” she snaps.
“Yes, I can, my little butterfly—” he says, gripping her chin forcefully and bringing her closer to his face, locking eyes with her.
“People follow me and worship me as if I were a god. My wife won’t be excluded. Or do you wish for bloodshed and potential homicide?” he mocks.
“Be grateful I saved you from that imbecile you were supposed to marry,” he adds, releasing her chin as she immediately rubs the numb spot with teary eyes.
“After all, you’ve just become a peace offering, my dear. God has a plan, and we shall obey the lord,” he asserts. She raises her eyes back to him, the tension between them palpable, amplified by the continuing rain outside, playing its role in the orchestra of her sorrow.
“You don’t have a choice, darling,” he declares, his words stinging her soul as they hang in the air.
“Either you stay under my protection, be a good girl, marry me, and obey, or I’ll deal with your clan brutally,” he states, rising from the bed and walking toward the door.
“Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to negotiate the terms with your old man.”
“Get more rest.” He looked at her for the last time and closed the door behind him. A click of the lock follows. Only now, she allowed herself to cry out loud.
’You said that if I’ll help myself, lord will help me too.’ She cried, desperately. Run away from the oppressed life of a future mafia wife, just to get even closer to marriage and marital duties, autonomy out of reach.
The overwhelming sense of loneliness and fear of an uncertain future weighs heavily on her. Would it be easier to go back home, and get beaten up and punished? Or would it be easier to stay and accept she will never get away from this life?
There is something she sees in his eyes, but she cannot figure out what it is. She’s exhausted from the run, from all the thinking and future battles she will have to participate in. Her eyes are slowly closing, and her consciousness is failing her again.
“Good morning, Buin,” a voice called out, causing her to squint her eyes from the sudden stream of light entering the room. Grumbling, she pulled the blanket up higher to shield herself.
“Doctor Kim will pay you a visit today, Buin.” the voice continued, and her eyes snapped open. Reality set in, and she realized this wasn’t just a bad dream — she wasn’t home.
“A doctor?” She said, successfully ignoring how she called her the lady of the house.
“Sajangnim requested that we draw you a bath so you can relax and clean yourself,” the little lady replied with a big smile, clearly infatuated with her “Sajangnim”. Rolling her eyes at the maid’s innocence, she welcomed the suggestion of a bath. This westernised hanok must have a bathing room hidden somewhere in its wooden maze. Accepting the white hanfu offered to her, she eagerly anticipated the chance to have her long hair washed. It had become a tangled mess after days of neglect. Maybe she would finally be able to wear her hair down, something she had never been allowed to do before. Her scalp was always sore from the numerous hairpins and clips used to hold her hair in the complicated styles she despised. And perhaps, she could even cut her hair.
“We’re here, Buin,” the maid interrupted her thoughts, leading her to a wooden door that swung open. The sight of a bathroom in a house, a luxury reserved for urban dwellers, reflected the wealth of the syndicate.
She entered the room, and the maid closed the door from inside. The water was already in the large wooden bathtub, steaming hot, beckoning her to submerge herself. It was spacious enough for her to float on the surface if she wanted to. The maid prepared her soaps and other hygiene products. She will clean herself as she graciously declined her help.
“Sajangnim said that if you were to resist his hospitality and commands he gave us, he shall come and help you himself.” The girl said with no emotion in her voice. She memorised it by heart.
“You can tell Sajangnim to stay put,” she muttered in response.
“Buin—” the girl attempted again but Y/N waved her off. She didn’t want to treat the poor girl in this mean manner, but she desired an alone time.
“Please…just wait outside.” Y/N pleaded. Reluctantly, the girl obliged, but she was certain she would report back to her master in a heartbeat. Besides, Y/N had nowhere to escape within the confines of this room.
She shed the lightweight hanfu and slowly lowered herself into the steaming water, feeling her muscles gradually relax. At least for a moment, her mind started to ease the running thoughts, calming the storm down.
Until she heard his voice. Her body immediately tensed up. She strained to listen to the conversation — or rather, the series of commands directed at the poor gal.
“Doctor Kim has arrived, make sure she is ready in the master bedroom in fifteen minutes. Tell the staff to prepare lunch for us in the garden after.” His voice was gone after this, and a soft knock followed.
“Buin—” the maid’s voice called softly, and by that time, Y/N was already hurriedly putting the hanfu back on.
“I’m coming,” she sighed.
She stopped the servant girl once she wanted to put her hair up in a bun. Now back in the room, sitting in a closet the devil managed to obtain for her as if he knew she will come. It was full of beautiful qipao’s but also some Korean hanboks and even some traditional Chinese beizis if she wanted to get more comfortable presumably. Among them, she noticed some lingerie, which internally made her nauseous with anxiety. Her hair was longer than she remembered, as she rarely wore it down.
“I suggest you keep the hanfu while Doctor Kim is here and then we shall clothe you in a dress.” To say she was scared and nervous about what this Doctor Kim will want to see or do was understandable.
“Here she is!” A loud and cheery voice echoed in the bedroom. “You caused quite a commotion, sweetie. I’m thrilled to finally meet you,” said the handsome man who entered the room with a leather suitcase and white coat.
“Doctor Kim, I presume,” She assumed. He was undeniably attractive, much like his Kkangpae. But she wouldn’t admit that for some time.
“For you, sweetie, it’s Seokjin. We’re going to be family, after all,” he smiled, attempting to put her at ease. He couldn’t help but notice her guarded demeanour. She scoffed at his proclamation, as expected.
“So,” he clapped his hands together, “let’s talk about you and your health, darling,” he said while searching for an empty file with her name.
“I want you to know that I won’t tell him a damn thing unless it’s necessary, you can trust me,” he stated.
“Except whether or not I’m a virgin, right?” she retorted in a cocky voice, mocking the messed-up mafia system.
“If you want to start with that, you can lie down, and I’ll check,” he sassed back with a smirk. Something told her they would only be friends for a very brief moment as long as she remained in this place.
“So, are you?” he asked, pulling her out of her thoughts.
“What if I’m not?” she tilted her head to the side. He chuckled.
“I see your point, but that wouldn’t free you from the engagement. He would simply have the man who touched you slaughtered to show his power,” he explained. She straightened herself, taking a deep breath.
“And even though I have to check anyway, it’s not just about your chastity,” he said. She did know, but that didn’t mean she would be comfortable spreading her legs for a stranger.
“Let’s leave that until the very end, shall we?” he smiled at her.
“Have you consumed any contaminated water while you were on the run?” he surprised her with the question.
“No, I don’t think so...” she stammered.
“Besides hurting Hoseok-ssi, did you fight with anyone else and get injured?” So that was the man’s name.
“Is he okay?” she asked, deflecting his question.
“He’s fine, but you should apologise once you meet him. He meant no harm,” he replied. Well, she hadn’t meant any harm either; she just wanted to escape the scene quickly. She nodded in agreement.
“When was the last time you were sick, honey.”
“Sometime last year.” He hummed in response.
“Do you have a family history of any medical conditions or diseases?” he continued with the examination.
“None that I’m aware of,” she shrugged.
“Any reproductive problems in your family?” he asked more seriously.
And here it comes—reducing her to merely a vessel, even before marriage. Just in time, the devil appeared in the doorway, leaning against the frame with his hands in his pockets. “Not on my side,” he interjected.
She didn’t want to give him a glance, but her body failed her. His black hair was tucked behind his ears, a scar shining in its glory on his face. He smiled. And for a moment, she got lost in his eyes again. He’s having an impact on her, and he knows.
“Y/N?” Seokjin called her name to get her attention back to him.
“No, not in my lineage,” her gaze fell again as she listened to what he was asking her.
“Do you smoke?” He asked with curiosity in his voice.
“Uhm, no.” She answered honestly. Y/N had been around cigarettes a lot, but she had never smoked one herself.
“Very good, do not start. It’s not worth it,” he gave his younger brother from another mother a side-eye, and the younger one just rolled his eyes in response. It made her chuckle a little, hoping they wouldn’t hear it. He did but didn’t say a word. Yoongi wanted her to be comfortable around him.
“Alcohol?” he asked while jotting down her previous answers.
“Occasionally?” she questioned herself, as she couldn’t remember the last time, she had a drink.
“Hmm,” he hummed again and wrote it down.
“Do you have any problems with your monthly bleeding?” Seokjin looked into her eyes and glanced at his brother.
“No…” she said awkwardly, gulping down.
“When was the last time you ate?” He looked into her eyes, and she realised she couldn’t recall, nor did she feel hungry until now. Was it the adrenaline?
“I think it was the morning I left Shenyang, five days ago,” she replied.
“You went from Shenyang to Incheon in 5 days?!” He raised his voice which caused him a mean look from his leader.
“How are you not exhausted to death?!” He continued.
“I had some intense drugged sleep. Thank you for your concern, though,” she answered honestly.
“She needs to eat, but she has to do so carefully to avoid upsetting her stomach. Don’t let her overstuff herself,” he instructed his companion. She was starting to feel ravenous; she hadn’t eavesdropped on their conversation, but rather, she was lost in her thoughts, preparing for what would come next.
“Beautiful, I need you to lie down for Seokjin now,” he snapped her out of it.
“What?” with him inside the room?
“It’s not necessary. I can tell him what he needs to know without that,” she protested.
“It’s a rule we follow, dove. We don’t want you to—” she cut him off.
“You just want to know if someone have fucked me before or not. Otherwise, you wouldn’t care,” she spat out. He seemed taken aback by her sudden change of attitude. This is the fire he wanted to desperately extinguish, at least towards him. Jin looked very much shocked but also amused when he glanced at his friend that was startled by this petite Chinese woman.
“I need to check for other reasons as well,” Seokjin said, clasping his hands together.
“Why can’t you just retrieve my medical file?”
“You have a medical file?” He asked, surprised. It was very rare for someone to have a medical file, especially at times after the war, apart from when a young one went to study. An entrance examination was always needed.
“Yes. Send a letter to my college.” She said, not realising she slipped a piece of valuable information out.
“College?” Yoongi asked, clearly shocked. Seokjin wasn’t looking much less surprised than him. She gave them questioning looks, knowing full well why they were so astonished.
“W-What did u study?” Jin stammered the question out. She wasn’t meant to inherit her father’s empire, but she was destined for an arranged marriage to another powerful family. Higher education wasn’t supposed to be part of her life. However, this would explain why she hadn’t been married off at eighteen. They had sent her away to study.
“Nursing.” She shrugged as if her words carried no weight.
“My, my,” said Jin, stroking his chin.
“I know what you’re thinking, and the answer is no. As of now, a big no,” she looked at her abductor, confused.
“As of now is good with me!” he clapped his hands together.
“Now, please leave, brother. I don’t think she’ll ever comply if you’re here. I’ll bring her to the garden afterwards,” Yoongi wanted to object, but when he saw the pleading distress in her eyes, he nodded and left his bedroom.
The young leader was proud that she hadn’t tried to run away or throw a tantrum yet. He didn’t want to resort to violence or coercion.
Stone pathways meandered through the garden, inviting one to explore its every corner. She was absorbing her surroundings with a teacup in her small hands. The air was fragrant with the scent of autumn. The wind was a bit chilling as the end of October was nearing. Snow will fall soon. A small pavilion she found herself sitting in beside a koi fishpond that sparkled in the sunlight, felt too peaceful.
“You look absolutely stunning,” said he, his gaze fixed upon her petite figure draped in a flowery pink qipao, her hair elegantly tucked behind her ears. She radiated a natural beauty, untouched by face powders or lipsticks. He loved this vision, an embodiment of purity and innocence. Little did he know, beneath her facade of grace, lay a sharp tongue that defied even the will of God.
She sipped her tea; Y/N ate a little bit of rice and seaweed soup to drive off her hunger. As she admired the garden’s serenity, she found herself drawn not only to its peacefulness but also to the possibility of escape it presented. Perhaps she could run back to Incheon and board a ship that would carry her far away from this place.
“You should know that ‘pretty’ is just a word, and your compliments and pet names won’t win me over. Use my name,” she scoffed, challenging his attempts to woo her.
“That doesn’t mean I’ll stop,” he was determined to break through her defences.
Y/N shot him a piercing stare, a skill she had acquired swiftly. She pondered the enigma of the man before her, wondering how in God’s name she could resist his charm.
“I appreciate that you haven’t attempted to escape yet,” he murmured, sipping his tea. Y/N was no fool; she knew that throwing a fit every second she was held captive would only lead to further confinement. For now, she decided to falsely embrace the last moments of autumn in this beautiful garden, she already scanned in her mind.
“I won’t be very keen on you if you’ll try to,” he warned, his tone shifting unexpectedly. Did he seek to intimidate her, or was he afraid she would succeed in slipping away?
“You seem eager to ask me questions,” said she with cockiness in her voice. Acting tough would make it harder for him to break her will. Not like she counted on a prolonged stay.
“I do,” he hummed in agreement. “But are you willing to answer them, my sweet?” Her eyes rolled at the nickname, accompanied by a scoff. He sighed.
“I’ll answer anything you want, and you’ll answer mine. Deal?” he proposed, a smile playing on his lips.
“That’s quite the cliché, you know,” she declared, placing her cup down just as he eagerly reached to refill it.
“But if it gets you to talk to me, darling, I’ll graciously accept the cliché,” he replied smoothly.
“I know what you want to ask,” she interjected. He was curious about how she managed to study for years without being married off.
“My aunt was very dear to my father. She persuaded him,” she confessed, her words carrying a burden that still weighed on her mind.
“Naturally, my father had intended to marry me off instead of allowing me to pursue my studies. It was still on the table. However, the last war, as you surely recall, brought forth injured, disabled, and dead.”
“I had just turned eighteen. So, my aunt negotiated that I would study nursing in Shenyang instead and be useful to the clan this way. My father saw the merit in her argument and delayed my marriage to whatever his name is—” She explained, her nonchalant tone contrasting with the mention of the man she was meant to marry and the affection she held for her late aunt.
“But my aunt passed away recently and there was no reason for my father to let me stay in Shenyang after I ended my studies. I became more useful to him if I married that boy, as your clan sent a warning. He needed the allyship.” She sighed.
“So I ran the moment we buried my aunt and I was sent back to Shenyang to get my diploma and return.” He listened attentively, aware that her trust was not easily won, and that loyalty would be crucial in their future together. She was still cautious around him, and he wanted her to open up to him even more. It would be a lot easier for her to trust him. But he knew better than that. Trust is earned, and it goes both ways.
“You never met him?” he inquired, referring to her failed engagement.
“No. I don’t think I even remember his name. Father always called him Yamamoto, never by his first name,” she replied. He knew his name well, having encountered him during negotiations for a deal in the past. Officially, Korea remained under Japanese rule, but within the underworld, clans were locked in fierce conflict. Yoongi, longing for peace, knew that Wang’s treaty pact with the Yamamoto clan was a significant obstacle. However, with Y/N’s presence here, the plans could be easily altered. According to the plan.
The cold young leader is not only aiming for her father’s empire and making peace for his clan, he longed for a woman like her. It was about time the leader of the clan took a wife to secure the lineage. Although there was a male heir in her family, who could potentially pose an obstacle, he was still too young to step into the role. Y/N, as the eldest heir, a female, would become an integral part of Yoongi’s plans to secure the future of their clans.
“You crave the throne, don’t you?” she asked, cocking her head and chin defiantly, her narrowed eyes fixed on him.
“I want you too.” She chuckled at his response.
“I’m merely a convenient excuse, am I not?” Y/N smiled too sweetly.
“You’ll kill m—” he rose from his chair, not even letting her finish. Grabbing her by her shoulders in a steel grip with a penetrating gaze.
The fragile cup slipped from her trembling hands and shattered on the floor. A nearby maid prepared to clean up the shattered shards. “Leave us!” he barked at the startled girl; his voice filled with anger. Y/N’s eyes widened. He was even more aggressive and intimidating than before.
“I could—” his voice seething with fury, “— I could gather man and slaughter your entire clan, keeping you as a trophy, a symbol of my power.” The threat hung in the air, and she could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. Fear was coursing through her, yet she resisted letting it control her.
“Matter of fact—” he continued, his grip tightening on her shoulders, eliciting a whimper of pain from her, “—you will be a symbol of the magnitude my power has, no matter if your father and family remain alive. So, it’s on you. The fate of your kin rests in your hands. Their survival hinges on your decisions and how well you’ll cooperate.” He tightened his grip again, eliciting another whimper of pain from her.
“But I will never dispose of you,” he growled through gritted teeth, his tone a mixture of possessiveness and frustration. Gathering her courage, she managed to speak again, her voice trembling but filled with resolve.
“You cannot manipulate me like this. Do you think I’ll fall for this fucked up scheme? I have spent my entire life under the orders of others, forbidden from making choices for myself! And you have the audacity to use my innocence thinking I will willingly crawl into your bed and love you like a devoted lover.” Venom in her voice and the desperate tone made him fall for her even more.
“I’ve only recently met you, so spare me your attempts to deceive me that you’re being my saviour.” Y/N has enough fire to still conquer and fight him back. “I refuse to be a passive participant in this game.” She shall not take it lying down.
“I’m giving you a choice—” he asserted, his voice laced with a dangerous undertone “—either you’ll walk down the aisle to me or there will be bloodshed. I won’t send you back to your father nor will I relinquish you easily.” His eyes locked onto hers, and she could see the darkness consuming his pupils when anger consumed him.
“Call it love, obsession, or whatever you please, but no matter what imbecile attempts you make to fight or flee, we will inevitably end up together nonetheless,” he declared with conviction. Was this the fate God had laid out for her? Her faith wavered, and if he didn’t assist soon, she shall forbid him altogether.
“You just want to fuck m—” he cut her off abruptly, his voice low and seductive.
“I can either fuck you hard or I can make love to you,” said he, whilst setting her left arm free and sliding his to her thigh, caressing it sweetly.
Breathing started to become harder for Y/N. Unfamiliar sensations welled up in her lower belly whilst his touch was sending shivers through her body. Was this attraction? Excitement? Mother told her this is how love is supposed to feel. Butterflies in her stomach. But she certainly wasn’t in love with her captor.
He sensed her confusion and distress, leaving her to fall back to the chair. Finally letting her breathe freely. Yoongi sat back in his chair, collecting himself and the three-piece suit he wears today.
“Loss of words, innit?” He chuckled.
He was filled with pride, an overwhelming sense of it, knowing the impact he had on her. She dusted her thighs and straightened her dress.
“Remember, it’s your call. Either you’ll go willingly or with coercion,” her gaze piercing through him for change.
“I’m still waiting to hear back from your father, but before we proceed, I need to go over some rules I expect you to follow before and after we’re wed,” he said, picking up his cup of tea again.
“I know the rules. Just because I went to study doesn’t mean I wasn’t prepared to be the wife of any higher-profile mafia member,” she replied, and he chuckled.
“What’s so funny, care to share?” She asked her sass back.
“Not those kinds of rules. I know you’re prepared for that. But entertain me, baby. What do you think I’ll ask of you?” he said, grinning mischievously, his chin resting between his thumb and forefinger.
“You’ll hand me the household finances after, not like I already agreed, I see no ring yet —”
“—not interfere in business affairs, maintain a low profile to avoid unnecessary attention, and be nothing more than a pretty face, spread your legs and pop out heirs.” He listened to her, amused. She is vaccinated with these dynamics as her mother underwent the same and taught her to do so. However, to Yoongi’s unluckiness, she inherited her whim and flame too.
“You don’t need to manage the household; we have people for that. But if you wish to change anything in the budget, you of course can, sweetling,” he responded, surprising her with his contradictory words.
“I don’t want you to be just a pretty face because you have to. Your fire will be beneficial for me once in a while. If I ever tell you to sit still and look pretty, it would be a matter of life and death, a means to protect you, —”
“—See? I can be very good.” He said, sipping his cold tea, leaving it in his mouth to warm a little while he is thinking. He found great joy in evoking emotions from her.
“You can involve yourself in the business as much as you desire, but I doubt you’ll want to engage in those activities. For your safety, I would sleep better if you were always by my side once we’re engaged and married shortly after.” He stressed out the last word.
“Once we’ll be engaged and wed, your loyalty to your father will transfer to me, and me only” he emphasised his voice firm.
“I won’t force you to be intimate with me after the wedding night, although I’m sure you’ll come to desire it,” he said with a sickly grin, causing her stomach to churn. She needed a moment to process everything he told her by far.
“I saw how you reacted to me earlier. You will enjoy our time in the bedroom, surely.” He spoke as if it wasn’t taboo.
“I-” she stammered and hesitated. He stunned her. Broke down to her core, and he wanted to dig even further.
“I’m aware.” He replied to her unspoken utterance.
She leaned into her chair further, feeling so small suddenly, so inexperienced. Y/N remembers a boy with black hair and green eyes who she had a crush on. He kissed her one night under a cherry blossom tree in their garden. Her father got to know, and she never saw him since.
“All of this comes with one rule: obedience. You will obey as a good girl, and everyone will be happy,” he declared firmly.
“But disobedience won’t be tolerated,” he added, his tone unwavering.
“I want our marriage to be right, as it should be. I won’t force you to be intimate with me. I mean it,” he tried to assure her.
“—Apart from the wedding night, which speaking of, I still didn’t say, ’Yes, I will’.” He laughed and got up from his chair. Her choices and chances were limited. Even if she would manage to escape, he would go on a killing spree till he would get her back. Min Yoongi was very much interested and devoted to marrying this young female.
He knelt on one knee in front of her. A scenery one could perceive as a loving couple is ready to pursue a life journey together. She hadn’t expected him to propose before her father’s agreement, let alone in such a proper manner. Y/N knew better, she just wanted to tease him back.
This wasn’t how mafia members typically behaved, especially the Kkangpae, who never bowed or knelt to anyone. A sign of respect and reverence. Is she to be fooled again? Was he trying to earn her trust with this pretentious act or is he truly showing her respect? Countless questions stormed her mind, causing her inner turmoil. A thunder and lightning bolt within.
He pulled out a velvet little box from his inside pocket and slowly opened it before her shocked figure. The ring glistened in the light. She hates to admit it, but it was marvellous. The delicate band, crafted from shimmering gold, was embellished with intricate filigree that snaked its way around the band in a dance of beauty. Sapphire, shining atop the band surrounded by smaller diamonds, a starry night sky, each one a glimmering testament to the masterful skill of the jeweller. The ring must be older than she or him.
“Miss Wang—” said he, staring into her soul and making her look away from the ring. “—You would honour me if you shall decide to spend, thou life by my side. I promise to protect you and respect you if you have me.”
Confusion would be the correct term, as just moments ago, he held her in a punishing grip, issuing threats. She mustered the courage to ask him once more. “Why?”
He smiled at her so widely. This smile was different. “Please don’t give me any sweet bullshit or I swear—” he interrupted her.
“All you think is my reason — is my reason. I’m not going to lie to you. Just know…this is God’s will, and God presented you to me as a life companion. You can put your fear aside and stand up to me. You’re a challenge I’m determined to embrace, and God knows I’ll do my best to make you mine,” he explained, his tone serious and earnest.
Would God allow him to do anything to conquer her and this world? His words resonated deep within her soul, stirring something within her. Will Father punish her once he will arrive here if he is even coming here? He has to. She knows. If she will get engaged, he will have to come and give him his blessing.
Mother. She wanted to desperately hide in her mother’s arms. Is she ready to confine herself to someone else than her mother, sister, or aunt? Her poor aunt must be restless in her grave. She wanted only the best for her. A different life than the one of someone’s wife; at least that’s what she believed.
“So, what will it be? Shall I send my man to gear up or—” She didn’t let him finish. Y/N didn’t want anyone else to die or get hurt because she wanted her freedom so selfishly. She questioned her faith and wondered if this was truly the path that had been laid out for her.
Is this her path?
“I will.”
It must be.
He smiled brightly. He is one step closer to orchestrating in her heart. It’s her verdict whether it will be an easier or difficult and rocky path. He took the ring out of its box, reaching for her left hand. Sliding the ring on her finger.
Slowly, he raised her hand to his lips, gently placing a kiss on her skin. He didn’t break eye contact the whole time, which made her uneasy. Y/N didn’t expect the leader to close the distance between them and lean to her, still holding her hand. Her breath picked its pace, and her lips parted a little; she gasped when he was getting too close. Y/N felt so stiff and frozen. Almost brushing his lips with hers—
“Sajangnim—?” A voice echoed. Unwillingly and frustrated, he turned his head to the staff member of the household. Y/N turned her head in the opposite direction, her chest heaving rapidly as she struggled to catch her breath.
“What?!” he barked; his anger evident.
“Mr Wang is on the telephone.”
I N T E R L O G U E
“How long will she be out?” Asked the leader, pacing front and back in his office. It had only been a few minutes since the son of his late father’s captain of the front force had brought her back to their territory. She appeared serene as he carried her into his room and gently laid her on the bed. Although he had a maid ready to change her clothes, he couldn’t resist the urge to do it himself.
“Hopefully she’ll sleep most of the evening and night,” Chan-yeol replied.
“I see,” answered the leader, trying to mask his concern. He realised how much he yearned for her presence.
“Everything will work out right, Kkangpae?” Chan-yeol asked, seeking reassurance.
“Of course. How is your wife, Chan-yeol?” Yoongi replied confidently. He vividly recalls her disparagement of this plan, as if her opinion mattered to him. She had shown a protective instinct towards her, much like her mother had. It stirred conflicting emotions within him.
“She won’t be a problem, I promise.” His voice was laced with a hint of fear. It was only natural to be afraid of someone like Yoongi.
The plan was for her to reach Jeju Island, and stumbling upon the warehouse was a mere coincidence—a twist of fate that strengthened Yoongi’s belief in their union. The way she looked into his eyes made him breathless.
His heart burned for her even more than ever before.
to be continued
author’s note: yall I have to say I didn't expect that much of love for my baby. Thank you all beautiful creatures! Feels very surreal. Thank you for all the love, reblogs and comments. I love you, I see you. I hope you enjoyed the first and second chapter and will look forward to the next one ♥ Stay tuned for the preview of chapter III soonish ♥
Also I tried to add everyone who asked to the tag list, and if you want to be in too or you ain't tagged properly, comment or dm ♥
Shout out to Bex the queen @chaoticpuff17 for beta reading this chapter and shout out to all her bombastically good fics!! ♥ ily♥
Love you!!!!
Don't be a silent reader, comment, re-blog, heart, asks are more than welcome ♥
keep in mind - I'm not expert on chinese, korean and japanese culture, but I tried to research everything realistic I wanted to add to the story. Nonetheless, take it as a fiction.
let's be friends chummers ♥
lots of love,
𝖕𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖞𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖊
taglist: @chaoticpuff17 @honsoolgloss @jingerbreadoutofstock @moocow778 @janura26 @dinosolecito @yoongislatinagff @xyahrinx @ruhmoojeonjunkook-blog @hi12345567 @nochue @deltamoon666 @bbkissme99 @darkuni63 @nansasa @sazsazsaz @missmin @strxwbloody @royallyjjk @jaiuneamesolitaiire @shadowyjellyfishfest
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Kintsugi 10
Pairing: Yoongi x reader
Genre: strangers-to-friends-to-lovers, non-idol!au, angst, smut, tiny bit of eventual fluff
Summary: In a fit of spiteful, post-break-up self-improvement, you sign up to a baking class. Yoongi, in a bid to appease his demanding girlfriend, signs up, too. Determined to make him your friend, you end up with more than you ever imagined.
Word count: 8.3k
Content: drinking drinking and more drinking! a fun callback to ch2 and a fun visit from someone (or someoneS) that fans of my other work might recognise...👀
A/N:
Thank you to @quarter-life-crisis2 for the beta!
Chapter Nine | Masterlist | Chapter Eleven
Chapter Ten - Impasse
“You don’t have dinner with Yoongi this week, right? Want to hang out tomorrow night?”
You swivelled your chair towards Taehyung and gave him an apologetic look.
“It’s his birthday party tomorrow.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake... Yeah, I remember.”
You were touched by how put out he was that you were busy and there was more than a little guilt there, too. If it had been anyone else, if it had been anything less than Yoongi’s birthday—his 30th at that—you would have cancelled without question. Lord knew Taehyung had done the same for you.
“You can come, if you want?” you offered. “Yoongi will 100% not mind at all.”
“Ugh, and third wheel you guys all night? No fucking thank you.”
“He might have cute friends? I’ve only met one of them, once, but he was very handsome.”
Taehyung shook his head. For all his insistence, when you were the broken-hearted one, that you should get back on the horse, he had been a little slow to do the same. You didn’t push him on it—hadn't been pushing him on it, but you were starting to think maybe a little pushing was what he needed. It was, after all, what he did to you and whilst he might not have been entirely right, he had had a point. It wasn’t like Taehyung to be backward about coming forwards; on a different day, in different circumstances, he might well have leapt at the chance to ‘third wheel’ you and Yoongi and prey on his cute, gay friends (assuming Yoongi had them).
You were going to push the issue, just a little, but he turned his attention back towards his monitor, and you took it as a sign to switch tack.
“I can come over after?”
“YES.”
His answer was immediate, emphatic, and enthusiastic. He turned back to you with wide eyes.
“Yes, come over for a debrief. Please. But can you please make it interesting? You owe me.”
“Define ‘interesting’.”
“Oh, I don’t know! Tell me there was a fight or you found me a date or you finally fucking told Yoongi how you feel.”
“Noooo,” you whined and tipped your head forward into your hands. You pretended to cry a little. Then you sighed. “Sometimes I think I can tell him; sometimes I want to tell him, but then I think about actually doing it and change my mind. It’s just-… It’s like you said; having a crush is fun! Do you know how weird and giddy I feel like, every time he texts me? I feel like I’m on drugs! It’s so cute and he’s so cute and I just want to eat him up whole, y’know? And it’s like that, it’s just like that until I think about us being together, or telling him how I feel, or trying to put these feelings into any kind of action. Then it’s like a fucking door slamming in my face. I want to tell him but I... I don’t know what comes next.”
“What do you mean you don’t know? What comes next is the relationship, being together, all that stuff you want.”
You squirmed. As fun and enjoyable as your crush on Yoongi was, that was how dreadful and anxiety-inducing the thought of being with him was. The same thing, in a way, and yet they produced such opposing reactions in you. You didn’t want to deal with that fear, with that uncertainty. You just wanted to stay in this sweet, little crush space forever and you told Taehyung as much.
“Do you, though? Forever? You think you can bear seeing him and not being with him forever?”
“No! Of course I can’t! But I... I’m not ready.”
It was the first time you had said it–out loud and to yourself. You weren’t ready. You didn’t know when you would be ready or what you needed to do to get there but you nodded to yourself, knowing you were right. You weren’t ready yet. You couldn’t cross that line.
“Are you sure? Because this party really would be a great opportunity for it. It’s his birthday, and nothing says ‘I have huge, sappy feelings for you’ better than sloppy birthday head, just saying.”
“Teddy!”
You gave him a sharp slap on the arm for that one.
“What? I’m right.”
“I am not going to do that,” you said through gritted teeth.
He merely shrugged and rolled his eyes, turning back to his monitor having lost interest.
“Suit yourself.”
“Happy birthday, bro!” Jin cried as he sat next to Yoongi and gave his back a slap.
“Thanks,” was Yoongi’s quiet reply as he picked up his chopsticks.
“Excited for your party?”
Yoongi rolled his eyes.
“Come on, it’s your birthday! It’ll be fun!”
He grunted noncommittally.
“You-know-who will be there,” Jin was cajoling in a sing-song voice.
“I know and I don’t know why you refer to her like that; she has a name and you know what it is.”
“Yes, but she remains a mystery to us all since none of us has ever met her, which is why we had to make you throw this party!”
“I don’t know why it matters.” Yoongi was mumbling because he’d had this conversation with them before. Too many times. So many times, in fact, that they had worn him down and he had agreed to throw this party, just so they could meet you.
“Because-” Jin slammed his hand down on the table for emphasis “-you have been moping around this entire year-”
“It’s only March-”
“-This entire year! Pining after her and we are sick of it. We’re going to judge her and see if she’s right for you and then we’re going to push you together and make you kiss like you’re Barbie and Ken.”
Yoongi scowled. This was exactly what he didn’t want. This was why he had, not entirely consciously but nevertheless had, been keeping you separate. He liked keeping you like a secret, just his, where no one could get you and no one could see him. His friends were bad enough as it was; he knew if they met you, they would become insufferable in their ‘encouragement’. There was also the fear that you would like one of them better, that he would become a stepping stone to your future, eternal happiness with someone else.
Not that he didn’t want you to be happy. He did. And you could definitely do worse than his friends, but the thought of having to see you around, with him (whichever him it was), and having to be happy about it made him feel sick.
“Who’s Barbie and Ken?” Yijeong asked, taking a seat opposite Yoongi and apologising for being late.
“Yoongi and his mystery woman,” Jin answered whilst Yoongi continued scowling.
“Oh shit yeah, she’s coming to the party, right?”
Yoongi nodded.
“You’ve got to tell her, dude,” Yijeong demanded with a mouthful of sashimi. “It’s the perfect opportunity! It’s your fucking birthday, bro!”
“I’m not telling her anything. There’s nothing to tell.”
Both of his friends scoffed and rolled their eyes.
“We’re not stupid, Yoongi. You’ve been a miserable cunt this year and we all thought it was because your granddad died and you had to go back to Daegu but thank god for Namjoon, because he told us everything.”
“Can’t believe you trust Namjoon over me.”
“Namjoon is in a happy relationship,” Yoongi reasoned.
“First of all, ow, rude. Second of all, I’m married,” Jin argued back.
“You’re getting divorced.”
“NO, she wants to divorce me and I have not agreed to it. Besides-” he said with a huge sweep of his hand, “-this is not about me. This is about you. And what has Namjoon told you to do?”
Namjoon had told Yoongi to do pretty much the exact same thing that Jin and Yijeong had told him to do: be honest. Confess. He wasn’t prepared to do that.
He had gone to Namjoon because Namjoon had somehow dug an incredibly fulfilling, loving relationship out of a disaster and he had been hoping there was some sort of secret to it, something that he could do that would get him over the hump without actually having to get over it.
He should have known better. Not only was Namjoon’s advice to be honest about his feelings, but the conversation had involved him saying things like ‘it got a lot worse before it got better’ and ‘it was kind of painful’ and ‘I really don’t think I’ve ever put myself out there more, to be honest’. Yoongi wasn’t up to that. As much as he felt like it was killing him to have you so close and yet so far, he couldn’t bring it home, couldn’t drag it across the line. There was too much at stake.
He let himself think about it, just once. On the eve of his birthday, lying in his bed, looking at the clock slowly edging towards midnight, he thought about what he wanted. No presents. He didn’t care about presents; he could buy what he wanted or needed. He wanted you. He wanted a relationship with you, a future with you. He wanted you, lying next to him in bed, counting down the minutes with him. He imagined you would be more excited than he was; you would make him wear a party hat and be ready with a party blower for the second the minute ticked over. He would pretend to be annoyed by it, because you found that just as much fun, but no one had ever been excited for him like that before and he would think about how grateful he was to have you, celebrating him.
He couldn’t imagine you sweeter or kinder than you were now. He couldn’t imagine having more fun than he did with you now. He imagined being happy, content, at peace: waking with you and going to sleep with you; cooking with you and curling up on the sofa; just being with you and being happy. He knew that you would make him happy because you already did. You made him feel a little softer, a little mellower, a little warmer. You made him want to be closer than he had been to anyone. He already was closer to you, really, than he had been with anyone; you had seen more sides of him, more honest parts of him, than anyone else. And you were still here.
But he knew that was as far as it went, as far as he would take it. You meant more to him than he dared to admit to anyone, than he could stand to admit to himself, and he wasn’t going to risk it. Not for a fantasy.
For one night, though, he did let himself imagine it. He indulged himself a little, let him think about what he might, in some parallel universe, be able to have.
“Earth to Yoongi.”
Yijeong waved his chopsticks in front of Yoongi’s face.
“See?” Jin asked. “You’re not even listening to us because you’re too busy being moony-eyed after her!”
“You’ve got to do something, bro. It’s your birthday. Get yourself a present and get yourself a girlfriend.”
“I’m not sure that’s really how it works,” Yoongi replied. “She’s not a present.”
“You know what I mean! Tell her how you feel and get it over with! It’ll be like a weight’s been lifted-”
“And then a heavier one slammed back down when she rejects me.”
“She’s not going to reject you, you fucking moron!” Jin leant across and stole the final piece of Yoongi’s dragon roll. “I’m taking this as payment for having to listen to you say something so stupid.”
“Whatever.” Yoongi had finished his food and was more than finished with this conversation. He didn’t want to think about this on his birthday. He just wanted to get through the day and make it to dinner (slightly unfortunate that Jin and Yijeong were coming to that, too, but maybe this way they’d have got this conversation out of their systems). “I’m not telling her anything and neither is anyone else.”
He was being unreasonable; he knew they were trying to be helpful, encouraging; he knew they were on his side. But he was anxious about the party, anxious about his feelings for you, anxious about trying not to anxious. He reminded himself of things he’d been learning lately, repeating little mantras to himself while Jin and Yijeong continued to speculate wildly on what would happen; he tuned them out and reminded himself that he could be happy, that he would be happy, regardless of what happened.
You shoved Yoongi’s present rather unceremoniously into your bag, took a deep breath and another shot for good luck before putting on your coat, opening your door, and braving the night.
It was foggy and cold enough for your breath to still cloud in front of you, making it feel far more wintery than you felt it had any right to. It gave the night an air of mystery, everything cloaked in silver, the approaching corner appearing as if from nowhere.
You’d have preferred a clear night, one with spring nipping at its heels, promising warmth and light and the end of winter. It would have given you your own spring in your step. As it was, you were wrapping your thin coat (you had thought it would be warm enough to leave your puffy coat at home) around you tightly, walking quicker, and blowing at your red, numbing fingers.
You were excited. It had been some time since you’d been to a party and you were looking forward to meeting Yoongi’s friends. There was an edge of apprehension to your excitement but you shook it off (the shots helped with that); you liked parties and you liked meeting new people and you were good at it and it was Yoongi’s birthday and he’d asked you to be there. It was all coming up Millhouse.
You just hoped what you were wearing was appropriate. It wasn’t until you were dressing that you realised you hadn’t asked about a dress code. You had heard of the bar where the party was being held and assumed the rest, but as you slipped on your little black dress (a classic, a failsafe), it occurred to you that you might be getting it very wrong.
Some panicked texts to Taehyung, some impatient replies back, a lot of selfies and wardrobe changes later, you had ended up back in the black dress. It was a nice dress, one that you felt confident in, one that San used to joke about not letting you wear because it was too sexy and he wouldn’t be able to fight off his competition. You wanted to look sexy tonight. You hadn’t dressed like this for Yoongi before, or around Yoongi. He hadn’t seen you like this, not really. You were, somewhere deep down there, hoping for a positive reaction.
*
You were stopped short at the entrance to the bar.
“Sorry, ma’am, there’s a private function tonight.”
“Uh, I, yeah, I know. I was invited.”
“Oh, can I have your name please?”
You gave the security guard your name and they checked a list and let you through. You left your bag and coat in a cloakroom to the left and entered the main space.
It was far busier than you had expected. How many friends did Yoongi have?! The room was full, all the sofas at the back and the booths along the side, too. You walked through the crowd, scanning for Yoongi, wondering how you would spot him through the sea of white shirts and black suit jackets. A familiar face appeared—not Yoongi, but Namjoon. You waved and he frowned, taking a second or two to recognise you. His face softened as he did and he waved you over.
“Hi!” you said, brighter than you probably should have been but so relieved to have found someone you knew.
“Hey, nice to see you again. You look very nice.”
“Thank you. I was worried it would be too much? Kind of didn’t really get a dress code from Yoongi.”
“That does not surprise me, but you look beautiful, don’t worry.”
You didn’t miss the kick at the ankle the woman next to Namjoon gave him. He apologised and introduced you both; it was his girlfriend, Suri. Of course.
“We met once when I was looking after Cherry,” he explained to her before turning back to you. “Do you want a drink? It’s a free bar so go crazy.”
“A free bar?! Fucking hell, how much money does one guy have?”
“Oh, they’re all fucking loaded,” Suri replied, “it’s kind of sickening. But also, the manager here definitely has a thing for Yoongi so I expect he got a very good deal.”
“Oh?”
You tried not to be interested, but a spark of jealousy ignited in you. Did Yoongi like the manager, too? Is that why he chose this place? Namjoon responded quickly and dispelled (most of) your worry.
“Oh, you say that about everyone,” he said, addressing his girlfriend.
“Yeah, because everyone has a thing for Yoongi! Don’t tell me that’s not true. People like him.”
‘And why shouldn’t they?’ you thought. Everyone should. Obviously. It was Yoongi—why wouldn’t they?
“I’m sure he only likes Yoongi as much as he likes anyone else, but even if he did have a crush, he has a business to run; he’s not going to make a loss because of it.”
‘I would,’ you couldn’t help thinking and were glad and extremely proud of yourself for managing not to say it.
“Says Mr Take-All-My-Money! You know you would, if it were me.”
Namjoon didn’t have a comeback to that and you were glad; you didn’t want to talk about other people having crushes on Yoongi. Your own crush was more than enough to deal with.
At the bar, Namjoon left you and you ordered a gin and tonic for yourself and one for Suri.
“Namjoon has told me I’m supposed to look after you,” she told you, matter-of-factly. “I don’t know if you actually need looking after because you seem more comfortable here than I am but, y’know, I’m here for you or something.”
You laughed.
“Namjoon seems like a really good guy.”
You could see her try to fight a smile, but she gave up quickly and it lit her face like a spotlight.
“Yeah, he’s pretty nice.”
You laughed again.
“Have you met Yoongi? I feel like you and he might get on quite well.”
She laughed this time and nodded.
“Yeah, he was actually the first one of Namjoon’s friends to give me a chance, so I’ve kind of got a soft spot for him. And I meant it when I said people like him; I don’t know, there’s something about him. He’s likable, right?”
You nodded and hummed your agreement. You didn’t prod, though your curiosity had been piqued about her history with Namjoon, because you knew if she was anything like Yoongi, you had to let her come to you; any pressure and she would clam up like an oyster.
“Do you know where Yoongi is? I’ve only just arrived but I haven’t seen him yet.”
She shrugged.
“Namjoon said my job is to look out for you and his job is to stop Yoongi hiding from everyone, so I expect he is hiding from everyone.”
That sounded like the Yoongi you knew.
“Yeah, I have to say, this is not really what I expected. To be honest, I didn’t really imagine he would be into parties at all, let alone throwing one for his birthday, and this is way more than I expected.”
“I don’t think he was given much choice. Even Namjoon was pestering him to do something; I think they wore him down and this ended up being the path of least resistance.”
“They made him have a party?”
“I only know what Namjoon tells me and he told me a while ago to keep this night free because they were trying to get Yoongi to throw a party. I said I didn’t think Yoongi liked parties and Namjoon said he doesn’t but that’s not the point.” She threw her hands in the air as if to say ‘hell if I know’ and shrugged.
“But these really are all Yoongi’s friends?”
It wasn’t that you didn’t expect him to have friends; you knew he had friends, you just hadn’t expected so many of them. He wasn’t exactly a people-person, not really, yet he had managed to get an entire bar-full of people to show for his birthday. Maybe she was right-- well, she was right; Yoongi was likable. It was just that he didn’t usually like that many people back.
She shrugged.
“I have no idea. I know a couple of them, because they’re friends with Namjoon, too, but most of them? I got nothing. I think Yoongi’s more popular than he thinks he is, though; people like him. I know I keep saying that. I don‘t mean it in a weird way; it’s just true. Wouldn’t surprise me if they all think they’re friends with Yoongi. Meanwhile, he probably doesn’t even realise they know his name.”
That sounded like Yoongi, too.
“You’re right. Yoongi’s great.”
It was you who couldn’t keep the grin off your face, now. You had to find him.
“I’m going to go and look for him, is that ok?”
“Yeah, do what you want! Do you want me to come, too?”
You were sure she did not want you to take her up on that offer and you didn’t need a hand-holder, so you declined and let her off-duty to go and find Namjoon. She was almost offensively relieved.
*
“Are you the mystery woman?”
A tall, broad man stopped you and peered closely at you.
“Uh, I don’t know?”
He asked your name and when you gave it, he cheered and called loudly for his friends.
“It’s you!” he cried, shaking you by the shoulder. “The guest of honour!”
“I’m... The guest of honour?”
“Do you know how long we’ve been waiting to meet you?” Another asked.
“I, um... Uh, no?”
Yoongi pushed between the two of them and looked at you, slightly panicked, a little apologetic. You were relieved to see him and to know that they were his friends and he was coming to rescue you from them... You assumed he was here to rescue anyway.
“Please ignore everything they’ve said to you.”
“Ah, Yoongi, we haven’t said anything!” the taller of the two exclaimed.
“Not yet!” chimed the other, with a performative wink.
“Should I know what is going on here?” you asked, feeling a little lost.
“We’ve heard so much about you, but Yoongi has been gatekeeping you from us.”
“Can you believe you’ve never met any of Yoongi’s friends before-”
“-Oh, well, I know Namjoon.”
They both turned to Yoongi and you couldn’t tell if the outrage on their faces was real or acted.
“What?!”
“Yoongi, what the fuck, man? You let Namjoon meet her? And not us?”
Yoongi looked pained.
“It was when I was in Daegu. It’s not like I planned it.”
He looked a little put out, a little pouty, his brows pulling together just slightly over his eyes. It was cute, seeing him be teased by people other than you, by people who knew him, by people who liked him. You decided you liked them already. You thrust your hand out to them and introduced yourself properly.
“Jin,” the taller of the two replied.
“Yijeong.”
“And you both... work with Yoongi?”
“Ah, I used to,” Jin answered. “Then I left the dark side.”
“I’m still on the dark side,” said Yijeong.
You made small talk, the four of you, for a little longer but there were knowing glances between Jin and Yijeong that made you feel self-conscious, like something else was happening, like you might unknowingly be the butt of a joke. You excused yourself to go to the bathroom.
You turned back at the door and could only see their backs, your view of Yoongi completely obscured and when you returned, Yoongi had disappeared again.
*
You made a few more trips to the bar in between trying to insert yourself into conversations. Most people were nice and welcoming and it was fine, but you weren’t at the party for them and Yoongi was still nowhere to be seen.
Deciding to give your feet a break, you perched at the end of a booth and finished your drink. It wasn’t long before Namjoon found you.
He almost walked right past you, but he did a double-take and turned.
“Are you ok?”
You nodded.
“Why are you on your own? Wher-”
“Suri’s just gone to the bar,” you lied, not wanting to get his girlfriend into trouble. You couldn’t really imagine Namjoon causing trouble, but you erred on the side of caution.
“Oh, ok, good. Are you ok, though? Are you having a good time? Have you seen Yoongi yet?”
“Yes, yes, and yes, though only briefly. I met Jin and Yijeong and he showed up. Then when I came back from the toilets, he had gone somewhere else.”
Namjoon sighed and gestured for you to shove up a little on the bench so he could sit next to you.
“I found him earlier on the roof,” he said, “so if you want to find him, I’d go there first.”
“Oh, thanks!”
You wanted then to go and find him immediately, but Namjoon had blocked you in. He was looking thoughtfully into his own glass and all you could do was wait for him to speak up.
“You and Yoongi are close, huh?” he asked eventually.
“Yep.”
“We didn’t really get a chance to talk much when we met before. I felt a little weird, to be honest; it felt strange meeting you in his apartment when he wasn’t there.”
“Yes! I felt the same.”
You laughed a little nervously and the nerves didn’t stop when Namjoon turned to look directly at you, his face serious.
“You’re important to him, you know that?”
You swallowed.
“Yes.”
He nodded and turned back to his glass, obviously still thinking.
“I feel like you want to say something,” you told him.
“I do, but I don’t think I should.”
“I say a lot of stuff I shouldn’t, if I’m honest,” you began, hoping you could just steamroll right over this conversation because you didn’t know where it was heading, but you wouldn’t stand up to an interrogation – you'd had too much to drink and lord knew Taehyung had heard enough about Yoongi, so you were dying for another outlet to talk about him. “It’s probably my number one skill, if you can call it a skill. The real trick is getting me to shut up, but no one’s figured that one out yet.” You let out yet more nervous laughter and ploughed on. “I don’t really know how to not say what’s in my head, y’know? I’ve been working on it, trying to keep my trap shut, trying to maintain an air of mystery if you will. I don’t think it’s going very well, to be honest. Not really in my nature...”
You began to peter out when you noticed Namjoon’s face change. He was frowning at first, not sure where you were going with your rambling, then he was listening, and now he was patiently, indulgently smiling at you.
“You are very sweet,” he said, interrupting you.
“Oh, uh, I, uh... ok?”
You didn’t know how to respond to that. You had been so busy working out how to keep on talking that you hadn’t expected him to say anything at all. Definitely not something like that.
“Uh, you have a girlfriend, right?”
Namjoon looked briefly horrified and immediately held his hands up in surrender.
“No, no! Oh no, I did not mean- I wasn’t-”
“Oh ok, n-”
“-No, no, no, I wasn’t trying to come on to you-”
“Yeah, of course, I-”
“-oh god, no, no. Yes! Yes, I have a girlfriend-”
“No, I know, I j-”
“-God, sorry I didn’t-”
“No, it’s fine. Sorry.”
“Sorry.”
You smiled at each other sheepishly, both embarrassed. Namjoon cleared his throat.
“I meant for Yoongi. You are sweet. I’m glad.”
He paused but you knew he hadn’t finished, so you just waited. All your practice with Yoongi paying off.
“I think you have been very good for him,” he said, slowly, evenly, still thinking out the sentence as he was saying it. “I don’t think anyone thought taking those baking classes was a good idea at the time, but we’re pretty unanimous now that we’re happy he did.”
Embarrassment burnt on your cheeks and you were grateful for the dim lighting. You bit the inside of your lip, not trusting yourself to speak. Namjoon was still considering you carefully and his gaze was watchful, penetrating; you felt as if he could see right through you. Maybe he could. Or maybe he didn’t need to; your feelings had always been bright and loud—you'd said it yourself. You usually wore your heart on your sleeve; perhaps you weren’t doing as good a job of hiding it as you thought.
“I know he is very happy you came tonight,” he continued, still slow, still thoughtful.
“I am happy to have come.”
In the beat that passed, before Namjoon could take his turn, you bit the bullet. It was on the tip of your tongue anyway; Namjoon would have got it out of you sooner or later (likely very much sooner).
“I like him.”
You wished Namjoon would stop looking at you like that.
“I mean, like... Like him,” you attempted to clarify, to prompt Namjoon into a useful response. “I have feelings for him.”
Namjoon didn’t attempt to hide his smile. He nodded, mostly to himself, and took a sip of his drink.
“That’s good,” was all he said.
“What does that mean? ‘That’s good’?”
“You know someone has to go first, right? Someone has to take the leap. If you both stand still... Nothing will change.”
You already wished you could eat back your words. Namjoon wasn’t Taehyung; he didn’t know everything. You couldn’t tell him everything, not here, not now. It was too much. You shouldn’t have said anything; it wasn’t that simple. It wasn’t that easy. You weren’t ready.
“I know,” he said, responding to you as if he had read your mind. “Taking the leap is scary. Horrible. Sometimes it goes horribly wrong.” He turned to scan the crowd (you assumed he was looking for Suri) then he looked back at you. “Sometimes it goes horribly wrong for a while before being incredibly right. Sometimes it takes a bit longer to get to where you want, but you’ll never get anywhere if you don’t start.”
“Did it go horribly with Suri?”
He nodded.
“Yeah, for a bit.”
“And now?”
“I’ve never been happier.”
You groaned. Much as you wanted them to be happy, that was not what you wanted to hear.
“It’s not really my place to get involved; I’m trying to not get involved... I didn’t say anything, ok? I haven’t said anything, but I’m just saying...”
He gestured to encourage you to complete his sentence. You didn’t want to.
“Please don’t tell Yoongi what I said,” you asked, pleading with your eyes, praying you could trust Namjoon.
“I’m not going to tell anyone anything,” he confirmed, “but I think you should tell him.”
You just shook your head. You were beginning to feel a little claustrophobic trapped in by him; you wanted some space, some air, a little time to clear your head, to maybe text Taehyung about what stupid thing you’d done now.
Suri saved you, popping up across the room and waving him over. He gave you a meaningful look and a pat on the shoulder as he stood to leave. As soon as he had gone, you stood, too, aiming for outside somewhere.
You headed immediately for the roof and stopped by the door, remembering that Namjoon had said this was probably where Yoongi was hiding. You had wanted air and five minutes’ peace, true, but five minutes with Yoongi would do better than that. You had you palm pressed against the door when an idea struck you. You fought your way back to the bar.
“What can I get you?” the bartender asked.
You wondered if this was the manager or if he was even working that night. You looked at him closely; he had a nice enough face. Yoongi could do worse.
“Can I have two of your most expensive drink, please?”
“Cocktail or mixed drink? Or most expensive spirit? Or...?”
“Uh, spirit?”
“Sure... Do you want to know what that is?”
You shrugged.
“Whatever is fine, as long as it’s the most expensive.”
“... Ok then.”
You took the glasses back to the roof. You pushed open the door with your back and let out a little whistle as the cold, wet fog settled on your shoulders. You wished you had thought to bring your coat.
It was a cute little rooftop. They had a pergola in one corner; you imagined it festooned with fairy lights and crowded with summer drinkers; in the barren winter, it seemed a little lonesome, bare and standing naked like a lost tree. The view, you knew, would have been spectacular if the night had been clear but you could still make out some of the brightest lights from the tallest buildings dimly through the gloam. The building next door and its upper floor intruded into the roof space and you wandered around it, coming upon Yoongi, sitting in a folding chair, as far from the rooftop door as he could get.
“Hello, birthday boy. Found you.”
The look of resignation on his face melted into a smile when he saw it was you.
“Want some company?” you asked.
“Yours? Sure.”
Then he pulled out another folding chair and set it next to him.
“Are you just magicking these out of thin air or something?”
He grinned.
“Nah, Doyoung left the store cupboard open for me.”
“The manager? Apparently he has a thing for you.”
You said it without really meaning to; it was out of your mouth before you could stop it. Yoongi looked surprised.
“Really?”
You tried to shrug casually.
“Well, that’s what I heard. Supposedly you got a great rate on the free bar.”
He laughed.
“Well that’s the first I’ve heard of it. I’ll have to let him know.”
“You’re going to need it,” you said, handing him a glass. “This is the most expensive drink they have.”
Yoongi looked at you, searching, making sure, then he took the glass and shook his head with a tut.
“Are you threatening me?”
“Wouldn’t dream of it; don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“And on my birthday and everything.”
You sat in the chair, clinked your glass against his and, against all your better judgement, took a sip of the drink. It burnt, much like the very first drink Yoongi had ever given you had burnt, and you gagged then shuddered. Yoongi interpreted this as a shiver (you were also cold) and was immediately shrugging his jacket off.
“Don’t do that!” you cried.
“You’re cold.”
“And so will you be if you take that off!”
“I’ve got more on than you; I’ll be fine.”
“No, I won’t have it.”
You allowed the alcohol to speak for you, tugging his jacket from his right arm, shuffling yourself in impossibly close to him and pulling the right half of his jacket around you. You were practically in his lap, but he was warm and he smelt like fresh powder and spice, and you had had exactly the right amount to drink to allow this but not so much that you couldn’t appreciate that it was happening. Yoongi was stiff beside you for a moment or two, but you felt him slowly relax, the tension leaving him as he settled in.
“Are you having fun at your party?” you asked, somewhat accusatory.
“I am now.”
“Yeah, didn’t really have you down as a big partier. You had me thinking I didn’t know you at all.”
Yoongi shook his head.
“I had my arm twisted.”
There was a Yoongi pause, as familiar to you now as your own rhythms of speech.
“When it came down to it,” he continued, “I knew that if I didn’t do something, they would take it upon themselves to do something and I knew I didn’t want to have to deal with whatever that would be. It was easier for me to do this in the end.”
“And are they all your friends? Because you know I’m a loser, right? I have literally two friends and there are like, two hundred people in there.”
He laughed again.
“No. Some of them are. A lot of them are people from work who overheard or got wind of the plans somehow; some of them are people I don’t even know—friends of friends or whatever. I don’t know.” He turned to you suddenly, concerned. “No one’s given you any kind of trouble, have they?”
“What? No, of course not!”
“Good. I might not be a coke-snorting meathead but... the same cannot be said for everyone I work with and, unfortunately, plenty of them have made it tonight.”
“Ah of course, your finance bros.”
“They are not my bros. I don’t have ‘bros’.”
“I’ll tell Jin and Yijeong you said that. They’ll be devastated.”
Yoongi groaned but he was grinning, too, rolling his eyes with great affection.
“Please tell me you haven’t been talking to them.”
“Why shouldn’t I? Worried they’ll give out your state secrets?”
“I think you’ve got all of my state secrets by now. They would just love every chance to embarrass me in front of you.”
“That makes me feel truly honoured. I would love for you to be embarrassed in front of me. God knows I embarrass myself enough.”
“No, you don’t,” he said, his voice gone soft. “You’re never embarrassing.”
“I love you for saying that, but I hate you for lying to me.”
“I’m in a pretty sticky situation then.”
There was a pause. You continued to sip at your horrible drink and Yoongi continued to enjoy his.
“How are your thirties treating you so far? Feel any different?”
He shrugged and it made his jacket fall off your shoulder. You put it back and held it tight, leaning into the heat of Yoongi’s body next to you even further. You put your head on his shoulder and he just barely grazed your leg with the tips of his fingers.
“Yeah, I do actually,” he answered eventually.
“Good or bad?”
“Good. I think my thirties are going to be good. Or I hope they will be. I think I’m going to try.”
You felt like more was coming, so you let the silence fall again, luxuriating in your proximity to him and letting the high ABV of your awful drink continue to knock off all your edges, make you smooth and round and pliable.
“I started therapy,” he said, so quietly you almost didn’t hear him. Almost.
“Oh my god!”
You reared back so you could hug him fully, enveloping him completely and not letting go until he was tapping out.
“Babe! I’m so fucking proud of you! That’s amazing!”
He nodded, shy now, and took a sip of his drink.
“That’s fucking huge, Yoongi. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you were going to! I’m so excited! How is it?”
He nodded again.
“Good, I think?”
“Do you like your therapist?”
This answer came quickly.
“No,” he said with a chuckle. “They ask too many questions.”
You snorted.
“Yeah, they do that.”
“But I...”
He was hesitating, unsure, and you were emboldened with booze so you slipped your hand into his and gave it a squeeze. He looked at you, face falling open to you, eyes wide, the ghost of a smile on his lips.
“I want to be happier,” he said and your heart could have burst.
You rested your head back on his shoulder.
“I’ll do my best.”
He squeezed your hand back.
“You can change therapists, by the way. If you really don’t like them. Or if something changes or you need something different. You can change. They don’t tell you that so I’m telling you. I’ve had like, five different ones at this point.”
“Do you like your current one?”
“Yeah.”
“She helps?”
“She really does.”
You felt him nod.
“Yeah, you said therapy helps and I thought maybe-… Maybe I can be helped.”
If you’d had even one more drink, you would probably have cried. Because you had been there. You knew how scary it was to take a step to help yourself—no matter how good you knew it would be, how healthy, how helpful, how grateful you would be for it in the future—and you knew that Yoongi needed it; there are some things only a stranger can help you see. It made you so happy to think of him, Bad Day Yoongi, stuck on the sofa Yoongi, tired, sad, Daegu Yoongi looking towards the future, a future he wanted to be around for. All of the worry you’d been carrying around for him, that you hadn’t been fully aware of until this moment, was dissipating, leaving you giddy and excited and a little drunker than you had been before.
You pulled back again and gave him another hug.
“I'm so fucking happy for you.”
“It’s hard.”
“Oh yeah, it’s fucking shit sometimes, but it’ll be worth it.”
You let him go and he tipped the last of his drink into his mouth—without grimacing, how? He leant over, readjusting his jacket on your shoulder and his face was so close to yours, you could smell the drink on his breath. Your eyes met and he didn’t move back and you didn’t want him to. You wanted him to close the gap, press forward just an inch or two and kiss you. You wondered what he would do if you kissed him. He wasn’t moving either. All he had to do was sit back, but he didn’t. Did he want it? Could you kiss him? Would h-
“Yoongi!”
You leapt apart as if electrified as Namjoon rounded the corner. He stopped when he saw you, mouth open, about to chastise Yoongi, no doubt, but no sound came out of him. You thought for a second that he would turn around and leave the two of you in peace.
No such luck.
“It’s cake time,” he said once his brain had caught up with his eyes. “Gotta come out of hiding.”
Yoongi looked at you. You looked at Yoongi. Then he looked at Namjoon.
“Alright, then,” he said with a sigh. “I’m coming.”
*
You all sang happy birthday and Yoongi blew out his candles and then was taken off somewhere by a group, led by Jin, crying something about ‘30 shots for 30 years’.
You also drank. Copiously. The adrenaline of almost kissing Yoongi and then not kissing Yoongi had made you shake and you needed something to take those edges off. You returned to the cloakroom for your phone, because you had to tell someone and you didn’t want it to be Namjoon. When you unlocked it, you had four missed calls from Teddy and a series of increasingly impatient texts.
[02:14]
Teddy 🐻: bitch, I am coming to get you whether you’re ready or not. I'm fucking tired and I want to hear everything before I go to sleep
That was almost half an hour ago which meant he’d probably be showing up any minute now. You took your phone, and Yoongi’s presents (somewhat squished and not neatly wrapped), and went in search of him.
You had to fight your way through a ring of merry makers and peel Yoongi off the bar. You hoped he hadn’t really had 30 shots because you were pretty sure that could kill a man. You couldn’t quite tell if he was actually seeing you; he squinted and winked and blinked and looked even more ready for bed than you felt.
“Yoongi, I have to go!”
“Huh?”
“Teddy’s coming to pick me up. I’m leaving!”
“Oh no!”
He fell off his chair and was uprighted by a friend behind him.
“I’ll walk you out,” he mumbled, placing a tight grip on your arm as you staggered together towards the door.
“Happy birthday, baby,” you said, pulling him in for another hug.
You swayed and Yoongi’s weight was heavy on you and your stomach swooped (in a way that didn‘t not make you feel a little bit sick). You didn‘t want to let him go.
“I love you the most,” you said, as quietly as you could manage in the clamour of the bar.
He chuckled.
“I love you the most.”
The urge struck you, again, at that moment, to kiss him, just do it, get it over with, make something happen but as soon as it appeared, it was gone. You stepped back and remembered the present in your hands.
“Oh! Here.” You shoved it into his hands. “I got you something.”
“A present?”
“Yeah! A present.”
“I said to not to to get me something,” he mumbled, trying to stand still and trying to focus on the gift in front of him, trying not to spew when he flicked his gaze back to you.
“Did it anyway.” You shrugged. “Don’t open it here, though. When you get home.”
He saluted you and you snorted with laughter. Your phone was vibrating in your hand, no doubt a chivvying call from Taehyung, so you turned and walked to the door with a final wave.
“Wait!”
Yoongi stumbled closer to you.
“By the way,” he began and then he paused for so long, you weren’t sure he even remembered he had been speaking. “You are...” He was looking at you searchingly and you imagined it was the concentration it was taking to keep you in focus. “You’re the most beautiful person I've ever seen right now.”
A bubble rose to the surface of your heart and popped with a quiet ‘oh’. You had been hoping he would notice the dress. He liked the dress. That was good.
“Really?”
“You’re so-” he waved a hand and squinted into the air, looking for the right word. “Sexy... Yeah, sexy.”
He pointed at you and nodded once, firmly. You felt your whole body heat and a shy giggle trip off your lips. You wiggled your hips, sublimating your shyness and embarrassment with silliness. He wiggled back at you.
The door, which you had one hand on and were slightly leaning against, was pulled open and you fell with your full, drunken weight backwards on the person who’d opened it.
“Teddy!”
“Jesus fucking Christ,” he said under his breath as he heaved you back to your feet. “Happy birthday,” he called to Yoongi as he dragged you, finally, through the door and out into the street. Yoongi waved.
“How fucking drunk are you? I thought Yoongi didn’t like parties; how are you this drunk?”
“We almost kissed!” you told him in a stage-whisper while he folded you into a taxi.
“Almost?”
“Yeah, only almost.”
“This is very disappointing.”
“I know.”
You yawned widely and threw your legs over his lap, cuddling into him.
“No sleeping, pretty girl. Not until we’re home.”
“Yeah, ok,” you replied, eyes already closed.
When you woke late the next morning, you had a selection of texts from Yoongi. The first was a photo of your presents.
You had intended to crochet him a mini-Cherry. You had done a little crochet when you were at university; a friend had taught you and you briefly caught the bug for it but that was years ago and you had had to go out and buy absolutely everything new and then waste hours of time watching youtube tutorials on how to do it.
They didn’t help and it hadn't gone well. To say the least. She was definitely a something, but a cat? You weren’t convinced. You had been so desperate in the end for something to present to him that you had asked your director, whom you knew was very crafty, to do one for you. Her version had been perfect.
You gave him both. You wanted him to have the ‘thought that counts’ one, the one you had put the effort into, but you also wanted him to have one that did not look like total shit.
In the photo, they lay side by side.
[05:07]
Yoongi: Cherrrry?
[05:07]
Yoongi: d you make then?
[05:08]
Yoongi: this s my favutrite
It was a photo of your shit cat.
[05:09]
Yoongi: I lvoe then
You had hoped that he would have opened them and laughed at your attempt, laughed but done it kindly, teasingly, with a fondness that made you heart glow. You had wanted him to open them in front of you so that he could have smiled at you and you could have kidded yourself that he understood all the things you were trying to tell him but couldn’t yet say. There was no way he could have, though, not in the state he had been in.
“Yeah,” Taehyung had said when you repeated this to him later. “Which is why, instead of giving him cryptic crocheted messages, you should actually just tell him.”
But you wouldn’t. You couldn’t. Not yet.
Taglist: @chimmisbae, @idkjustlovingbts @miriamxsworld, @quarter-life-crisis2, @tarahardcore, @simp47koreancrackheads , @xyahrinx , @olyd , @diorh0seokie , @thelilbutifulthings
Chapter Nine | Masterlist | Chapter Eleven
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POSITIVE VIBES ONLY! -
[ ot7 x reader ]
WHO’S IN PARIS?
8 participants - 8 online
———————————
tae: can someone wire me 100k?
jk: how do you wire something??
y/n: beats me
namjoon: 100k?
jimin: why?
jin: did you hear lucas left nct LAMSOO
yoongi: who?
hobi: i’m about to raise the roof
yoongi: oh
tae: can someone send me 100k or not omg
y/n: are you not a millionaire???
jk: word on the streets is that he’s a hardcore gambler
jin: ur living room does not count as “the streets”
jk: 😟
y/n: guys kai is enlisting i’m gonna throw up
yoongi: gws
hobi: pretty girl you like peaches 🩷
y/n: you’ll never be him
hobi: 😞
namjoon: why does tae need 100k??
y/n: yeah why does tae need 100k??
jk: let the audience know tae
tae: yes or no can you send it now?
jin: i could but i won’t
yoongi: no
jimin: asked for coffee the other day and you said no
now you want 100k how about you kys
hobi: i’ll send it
y/n: no you won’t
hobi: i won’t send it
jk: bold of you to assume i have 100k
namjoon: jungkook what?
you make more than 100k a day??
jk: okay??
bold of you to assume i have access to my card
namjoon: ??
jin: i don’t even wanna know tbh
y/n: he once ordered a 10k marching band the day after the hamster we had died because he needed to “clear his head”
jimin: you guys had a hamster??
jk: lived one day will miss tony forever ☝🏻
yoongi: this is why we shouldn’t of let the 2 youngest members live together
y/n: jungkook once brought a “picassco” painting of iron man for 50k
jk: is very pretty it’s in my room
hobi: picasso is dead
jk: what
jimin: tae and jennie let’s get into that
tae: let’s not
jin: REAL is that why you need 100k stuck in paris bf of the year?
y/n: RIGHT WHAGT IS GOING ON FR
tae: nothing
namjoon: ?
y/n: be fr tae
tae: are you jealous??
y/n: no
jk: yes
y/n: what
tae: what
jk: ur giving her 100k ofc im jealous
jin: omg?
y/n: FR??
namjoon: ur giving her 100k?
jimin: that’s insane
yoongi: does she not have money?
hobi: her and tae fr twins then
jimin: how is he giving away money he clearly doesn’t have?
tae: i have 100k
jimin: ur not acting like it
namjoon: wait so ur asking us to send you 100k that you already have to give to ur gf?
tae: what??
jk: guys i’m kinda confused rn
tae: i don’t have a gf?
yoongi: bro
jimin: i don’t even care anymore
y/n: tae was dropped as a baby
tae: OMG 😧????
jimin: constantly
tae: wtf namjoon say something this SICK the way they talk to me
namjoon: i give up
y/n: wasn’t talking TO you i try to keep that to a minimum
tae: when she hates you 😍
jk: jennie hates you?
hobi: she’s kinda real for that
tae: stfu about jennie
jk: omgee did you fight??
yoongi: you guys are not real
there’s no way
jimin: the next bitch to send a question mark being shot and killed immediately
y/n: mark lee
hobi: let’s play ball
tae: mid
y/n: MARK LEE MID ARE YOU OUT OF UR MIND???
jimin: …
y/n: if you shoot at kill me that would be considered a hate crime
jimin: it will be worth it
y/n: :c
jk: :3
hobi: :0
yoongi: freaks
namjoon: cute
tae: guys i feel like you don’t actually love and care for me
jk: whaaat ur really cool!
y/n: yikes
jin: jungkook sarcasm says it all tbh
jk: what
jin: nvm he just dumb as hell
jk: ??
jin: ur so cool jungkook!!!!!!
jk: ur coolest jin ^^
jimin: the oldest too
namjoon: don’t start
yoongi: yikes x2
hobi: eeek
jimin: i care for none of you
y/n: ur ugly
jimin: take it back
yoongi: i would put you all in a freezer
namjoon: what?
hobi: cold >.<
jk: does tae still need 100k?
tae: YES
jk: okay
tae: ???
jk: ???
tae: are you not giving it to me?
jk: no?
tae: wtf?
why did you ask then?
jk: cuz i wanted to know if you still needed it?
y/n: all these questions not enough answers
jimin: amen
hobi: queencard
namjoon: i think being in this gc is what taking acid would feel like
jin: druggie
jk: namjoon pls don’t do drugs
yoongi: save me
hobi: so tae is single?
tae: taken by the lord
jimin: i’ve been counting down the days for the lord to take you
tae: when i actually die ur gonna feel an unbearable amount of guilt
y/n: jimin when will you rest omg
jimin: i’m a born hater it’s hard to live like me
yoongi: if i were you i would kms
namjoon: i love having positive conversations with you all
hobi: me 2
jk: is it just me or am i the only one not seeing the positivity rn…
y/n: love you bffs 💓
jk: okay nvm !!!
me after lying saying i’m gonna release more stuff and then just running away 🤭🤭🤭. i’m just silly like that am i gonna regret posting this at 3 am and not proof reading it? possibly but it’s okay i’m back for how long? god knows but the jennie and tae stuff absolutely crazy i must say #gothemtho i have nothing else to add love u kissing you mwah mwah.
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The Deal
Drug Lord!Yoongi x Coffee Shop Owner!Reader
Genre: Strangers to Lovers!AU, Angst, Fluff, Smut
The Final Chapter -- Chapter 33.
Series Warnings (Will Be Updated): Mentions of Drugs and Drug Deals, Blood, Smut, Emotional Damage, Love, Gunshot Wounds
Warnings For This Chapter: Nothin Just Good Ol' Fashioned Fluffernutters
A/N: Final chapter coming to you a day early because I’ll be too busy tomorrow to post~! Enjoy~! If you guys are missing books currently At Your Service is finished on Patreon as well as Spoils of Fortune being at chapter 16 already~! See you guys there~
Sometimes it'll be the winter chill creeping through the open lace curtains or Rex the rooster waking you up at the crack of dawn. In those moments it's easy to pull the thick duvet cover closer to your body and try to will your body to go back to sleep. Most of the time your loving fiance will drape his arm over you and mumble sweet words in your ear with a sleep laden voice as his lips drift over the back of your neck. Some mornings when he presses his face to your skin, you can feel the gnarled scar by his eye grazing against you and somehow it comforts you even further.
But this morning when Rex wakes you, there's no comfort to be found.
You lie still for a bit, pulling the covers closer and closer until your body simply refuses to fall back into the peaceful slumber it once was in just moments ago.
You can hear the soft patter of gentle footsteps in your bedroom that seem to echo all around you and you know for sure that you're not getting back to sleep anytime soon.
"Morning, buddy," your fiance whispers, trying not to wake you.
Pulling the duvet slowly away from your face and over your shoulder, you open one eye slowly.
In the corner of the room, slowly becoming illuminated by the rising sun, you can see Yoongi sitting down in the rocking chair with your one month old son in his arms. He has a bottle of milk positioned beneath his chin as he scrolls through his phone and you can only smirk at the sight of his fatherly multitasking.
There are mornings like these where everything about your life comes over you in waves like the grandest ocean.
When you first met this man you were appalled by him, simply trying to save your little brother from being murdered or seriously injured. Then you had to sign a contract with him that took you away from your shop and your passions to live in the forest most of the time. He taught you how to handle him being by your side naturally and slowly but surely, everything about him began to consume your heart. You understood him better in mere moments when you would hear about his childhood and how terrible the people around him were.
You were jealous of a woman who broke him and you fixed him like he was some precious vase of ceramic with cracks and chips along the whole surface.
He didn't want to fall for you at the beginning, he didn't want to become enraptured with you but sooner or later, he was in the palm of your hand like putty.
It wasn't easy for him to just accept this but somehow he did and his heart opened up to you showing you all the love he'd held onto for so long that not a single person got to see.
Sometimes you wonder what would have happened if you dated Hyunwoo instead, you can't imagine how all the euphoria of this life with Yoongi just wouldn't exist.
"I know, I know," the father of your child coos, setting down his phone and pulling the bottle away when your son fusses in his arm.
"Daddy!"
Yoongi tilts his head towards the door, putting his finger to his lips.
"Mama is sleeping, princess. C'mon," he chides in a hushed tone.
Your oldest child slaps her hand over her mouth with wide eyes and you can't help but smirk at the sight.
Sang is very much loved, a bright, sharp witted six year old that has her fathers looks and your fiery personality.
Once the whole mess with the snakes was taken care of, Yoongi made good on his promise. Although everyone in the family was making fun of him, he did indeed buy the farmstead you spoke about.
It quickly became your place of peace and living in the forest seems like a past life at this point.
You ended up giving birth at the farm like you wanted to and Sang was healthy from day one on this Earth.
The former drug lord found such beauty and love from his newfound family and he now dotes on his kids like nothing else in the universe.
"Hungry," Sang grumbles, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
"Where's your brother?" Yoongi inquires, leaning forward to peek down the long hallway.
"Sleeping! All he does is sleep and sleep and sleep!" your oldest daughter complains, stopping her tiny foot.
The fatherly smirk that etches onto Yoongi's face makes you want to give a heavenly sigh.
"Let me finish feeding Sanhwa and then I'll make you guys breakfast, okay?" your fiance asks sweetly.
Sang puffs out her cheeks as she thinks, running her fingers through her long black hair before nodding. "Fiiiiiine."
When she turns around to leave in the most dramatic fashion, your man only snorts softly, rolling his eyes at the princess's attitude.
"Women," he murmurs to your youngest son, bringing him up to his broad shoulder and rubbing his back.
When Rex crows again, Yoongi stares out the window to watch the rising sun.
Your days always start early now, the farm is a lot to handle but you both have your individual jobs. You mostly grow plants like fruits and vegetables, ones you live off of with chickens for fresh eggs as well as having horses and smaller farm animals that the kids have deemed their pets like Rhyz the potbelly pig and Juni the llama.
Taking care of the farm is a whole ordeal but you also have a full blown business with coffee that just simply adds to the daily chores. The both of you own a coffee farm in Brazil where you spend half the year, right now in the cold bitter months of winter Jeongguk and Hanna live there and they always do an amazing job taking care of the workers and the coffee plants.
So when you can spend extra time in bed, even if you aren't fully asleep, you take it.
When Sanghwa fusses again, you know that you're going to have to get up soon. He's a mama's boy through and through, unfortunately for your fiance who wants all the love you get.
"I know, it must be so depressing that daddy is taking care of you," Yoongi feigns dreadful sorrow with a fake heavy sigh.
"Daddy! Song won't let me play!" Sang screams at the top of her lungs and the former drug lord simply curses under his breath.
Sang and Song can't share toys, it's almost like it's been weaved into their DNA.
When Sang was only three months old, Song was growing in your belly. They're not far apart in age and sometimes that makes it more difficult to get them to understand each other.
Yoongi says he didn't mean to get you pregnant so fast but when he just kept smiling whenever you would complain about it, it was almost certain to you that he did it on purpose.
Five years later, you're more than grateful for all three of your kids.
Sanhwa begins to cry, it starts off soft and you finally sit up before it begins to reach a pitch that'll shake the walls of your home.
Your fiance smiles tiredly at you, patting his small son's back to try and calm him down.
"Mommy's up. Mommy's up, it's okay, little man," he whispers, standing up with a groan and walking towards you.
When he hands you your son, he plants a gentle kiss on your lips. His hand caresses over your cheek and his thumb drifts sweetly over your cheekbone.
His face is highlighted in the luminescent shade of orange from the sun and in this moment you can barely remember when he had a gun in the band of his tight suit pants all those years ago.
"Morning, sweetheart," Yoongi breathes, sitting down by your side.
Sanghwa stops crying immediately, grabbing ahold of the strap of your sports bra and tugging on it like he always does.
"Morning," you chirp, rolling your head around on your shoulders to loosen your muscles.
"I ever tell you that you're kinda hot?" Yoongi inquires playfully, pushing some hair back behind your ear.
"Can't recall it," you reply with a smirk.
He smirks then, looking over at his son who's already dozing off on your shoulder.
"What's so wrong with my shoulder? Why does he hate me?" Yoongi scoffs, widening his eyes.
"You don't have a tit full of milk," you joke.
Your fiance smiles, a perfectly white set of teeth that glimmer in the wee hours of the morning greet you. "I'll get right on that then."
You bask in each other's presence for a little while, both hands drifting over each other's skin comfortably until there's a loud crash that makes Yoongi sigh.
"I'm gonna go make the little tiger's breakfasts and then start on the farm work. Come down and eat," he decides, slapping his knees.
You give him a small nod, giggling when he groans once more as he stands.
"Don't laugh, baby doll. Once your postpartum pain goes away I'm fucking you so hard that you'll be groaning every time you get up," he hisses, wagging his finger at you as he walks backwards towards the bedroom door.
"You can try," you breathe jokingly.
Narrowing his eyes at you, he leans against the door frame. "Keep it up, sweetheart."
You stick your tongue out at him, rocking Sanghwa slowly until he's sound asleep.
"Daddy!"
Yoongi tilts his head into the hallway, almost certain there'll be a child running full force at him. "Yeah! I'm coming, princess!"
"I'll be right down," you promise.
All your fiance does is wink and then he's gone from sight.
Staring out at the bitter winter outside your window, you're snug in a blanket with a cup of hot chocolate in your hands to keep you toasty warm. Both Sang and Song are playing in the living room just beside you and you're surprised when Yuqi and Namjoon enter the house along with your husband who's back from the barn.
"Hello, my little cubs!" Yuqi cheers, taking off her fur coat.
Joon takes her coat without a word before throwing himself down on the couch beside you with a groan.
"What's your problem?" you inquire with a laugh.
"I had to drive over three hours to get here after getting off the fucking plane because you want to live in bumblefuck nowhere like some damn despot hideaways," he murmurs, tiredly.
"Wow. Look at you. Surgery went well I see," you muse.
Joon brings his hand to his scarf, pulling it down just low enough for you to see the bandages that cover his stitches. "Brazil was great but I'm happy to be home."
His voice isn't scratchy or pained and it warms your heart to see him speak without flinching with every word he utters.
"Yuqi must love that, now you can fight back," Yoongi jeers, handing his best friend a glass of whiskey.
"Oh shut up!" Joon's wife hisses as she sits down on the carpet beside your children.
Your fiance looks down at your kids, seeing how engrossed they are with playtime and he's happy he can sit down for a minute to unwind.
"How's the coffee farm?" he inquires.
His work though is truly never done.
Namjoon sits up taller then, giving the boss his full attention. "It's good. Better than good, honestly. Everything is perfect right now."
"The Macchiato Corner on Elmwood is finally done with renovations and it'll be up and running by next week," you add to the conversation.
"That's number ten. Soon people won't even want to go to Starbucks," Joon breathes with a sparkle in his eye.
It wasn't easy at first, all the guys didn't know what to do if they weren't peddling coke out to smaller dealers and fighting with people until they left faces bloody but sooner or later they got the hang of it and now everything runs like a well oiled machine.
"Hoseok's going on vacation with that model next week so I'm gonna have to run down to the city for the next couple of weeks," Yoongi announces, bringing his glass up to his lips.
"No daddy!" Sang chirps, earning all eyes on her.
Your husband smiles lazily, raising his scarred eyebrow. "Oh no? Why can't I?"
"Then I can't spend the day with you!" she whines, crawling over to him and resting her cheek on his knee.
His smile only grows wider at her loving affection and he courses a gentle hand over her cheek. "I'll take you to work with me some days, how about that?"
"What about me?!" Song yells, dropping his action figures and folding his arms stubbornly.
"You don't want to spend time with me?" you inquire with a smirk.
"I do… Fine! I'll stay with mommy and Sanhwa while you and daddy go be boring!" Song cheers, smiling up at you.
With a playful wink, you comb your fingers through his hair when he gets close enough to hug your legs.
It's not hard to completely separate your old life with what you have now. Even though you know that Yoongi has a box of guns hidden somewhere in the house just for emergencies. You've really come to adore this new life outside of the forest and away from all the illegal activities you used to participate in.
"Did you guys know that Taehyung bought a house?" Joon inquires, picking Sanhwa up carefully from his bassinet beside the couch.
Turning your attention to him, you fix your newest born boy's onesie with pinched eyebrows. "He has two houses already. What does he need a third for?"
"For his hoes," Yuqi muses.
"What's a hoe?" Sang asks innocently.
Yuqi hangs her head immediately, shaking it with a laugh.
"S-Something daddy uses when he tills the dirt on the farm!" Yoongi gasps quickly, digging his fingers into his glass of whisky and grabbing an ice cube before chucking it at his old friend.
"Mommy has a hoe too! Both mommy and daddy have a hoe!" Song adds with confidence.
Namjoon's laugh is loud and rickety, his eyes squeezing shut with each gasp of breath he takes.
Yoongi presses his lips into a tight line, cheeks puffing out as he tries not to give in to the laughter that wants to overcome him.
Snorting softly, you roll your eyes.
"I'm so sorry," Yuqi cackles, throwing herself onto her back.
"I hate you," you giggle, shaking your head.
Even when the farm work is done, even when the kids go to bed, you and Yoongi still work on the coffee enterprise until it's difficult to keep your eyes open.
With your son at your breast and your head down in paperwork, you barely notice your fiance entering the bedroom.
He stares at you for a while from the doorway and he can't contain the love that bleeds through his veins like his life's song.
Folding his arms, he lets the day come to a close in the most relaxing way -- watching you.
When Sanhwa is done feeding, you put him over your shoulder until he's burped and asleep.
"Come to bed," Yoongi begs sweetly, stepping into the room.
You nod to him, setting the youngest down in his bassinet and walking over to the bed.
Yoongi hums softly, sitting down on the edge of the mattress and wrapping his arms around you. He lays back, taking you with him as his arms protect you.
You giggle gently, wrapping your arms around his neck and running your fingers over the dragons that dance along his scalp.
"I love you, sweetheart," he mumbles, kissing over your sternum.
"I love you too," you avow.
His lips graze over the large golden tiger above your breast and his eyes are consumed with adoration.
You both get comfortable for a minute, Yoongi takes to getting practically naked while you lay on his chest and wrap your limbs around him like he's some sort of pillow.
"Yuqi told me while you were putting the kids to bed that she saw Olive and Sedra on her way back from the airport," Yoongi gossips, kissing over the top of your head.
"Oh yeah?" you inquire tiredly.
"Apparently all of the Lim clan is going to jail."
Your eyes widen and you look up at him in an instant. "What?!"
He shakes his head at the thought. "They sold heroin to the wrong people. It's really kinda sad. What are the women gonna do? Sedra has seven kids, y'know?"
Remembering Yoongi being in jail is not a memory you like to dwell on after six years and you can certainly remember in vivid detail how down and depressed you were when you had Sang in your belly and he was gone. It's not something you would wish on your worst enemy.
"That's terrible," you agree in a whisper, drifting your fingers down his chest.
"I'm happy we got out of that life when we did. I wouldn't want any of our kids to know it. Even Guk, he's got a kid on the way. I wouldn't want him to have his son know that type of shit."
Just thinking of your unborn nephew in that type of situation sends a shiver up your spine but you're quick to shake your head and shake the thought out of your mind.
"I'm happy with where we are and I'm happy you stuck with me through everything, even if I had to get you to sign a contract to begin it."
You smirk, drifting your lips over the multitude of ink inscribed on his chest.
"I don't mind contracts now."
Yoongi flips you over, crawling over you with a playful hum. "Oh yeah? I got a contract for you then."
"Oh?" you reply.
"Next time I get the pleasure of being inside you, you get pregnant for me again," he breathes, kissing you softly.
"It's a deal," you muse, smiling up at him.
"Good girl," he purrs, falling beside you and wrapping his arms around you.
"I love you, Y/N."
"I love you too, Yoongi."
Dreams are never meant to become a reality but somehow, somewhere a dream you never even thought you'd be able to have came true.
Yoongi started out as something you could only describe as a nightmare, he was someone you wouldn't dare interact with but then he became the love of your life in such a short amount of time.
You couldn't even imagine your life any other way, especially when your unknowing dream became your reality.
<---- Last Chapter
The Deal taglist – @jeon-junggoop, @btsarmy9593, @slothykrueger, @jcsmae, @milesjeon11, @cloudyblisss, @borahae-reads, @secretlycrazyhummingbird, @rjsmochii, @sugas-bbygirl, @ggukkieland, @hyungieyoongi, @chxmachxps, @dvalitaes, @vintageroses10, @maerawrrr, @flowerblu00, @veronawrites, @seoqity, @wozwaid, @hisbutton-nose, @sweetempathprunetree, @jinsearthh, @codeinebelle, @serious-addiction, @bt21chim, @rosquilleta, @dunixxd, @rkchmestizangmaldita, @openup-yourmind, @shesaysweirdthings, @marslena, @deathkat657, @yoonlattesworld, @that-funny-alien-28, @clutterfied, @belladaises, @silentkei, @btsnina, @shydestinyyouth, @thefreddieman, @kkklaudiaaa17, @moonchild1, @ronie1974, @jeonghanniehae, @rinkud, @giselleg7784, @bbkissme99, @geauxlsu79
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𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 48
A story of obsession, fear, and lust. You're a maid whose Masters forbid you in meeting their guests for the night but your luck runs dry when you run into them and catch the attention of Lord Hoseok himself. He's smitten from the beginning and thus, your fate has been decided.
Pairing: Yandere Vampire Hoseok x Fem/AFAB Reader
Word Count: 7,883
Warnings: 18+, Yandere, Obsession, Possessive, Angst, Fear, Blood, Biting, Dub-Con, Eventual smut
Will add or remove warnings based on what's in each chapter.
I do not condone the behavior being exhibited in my work. This is solely for entertainment purposes and I hope if any of you are ever in a situation like this that you have the chance and ability to run away from it. Take care out there.
DO NOT copy, edit, or repost my work anywhere.
Chapter 48 Warnings: Yandere, Possessive, Obsession
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It's been a couple of days where it's mostly just been you and Hoseok. The next day after the first night Hoseok and some of his brothers went to restock was awkward to say the least. Of course Namjoon was there during breakfast and you didn't dare look at him lest you'd feel your heart break all over again. If anyone at the table could hear the way your heart was beating they didn't say and you appreciate that.
That same day all the brothers needed to go to finish restocking. Hoseok told you it can take anywhere from two to four days but they worked hard to make sure it was just two days. Since there was no one there to watch over you Hoseok brought you to the warehouse where work took place. You felt intimidated by it all and wanted nothing to do with it but you had no choice.
You were sat in a room with all of the brothers doing work. It was bizarre seeing them collect their saliva but what was even more bizarre was how much of it they could produce without needing to refresh their mouths. It was non stop and then you realized how they could easily stock up within a few days. Just vials upon vials of it.
You made the mistake at one point of looking at all the guys including Namjoon who winked at you. It soured your mood. Taehyung picked up on it you know because he asked if you were okay. You had to lie and say you were under everyone's, especially Hoseok's, watchful eye.
You were glad when they were done. Not only were you bored but you hated it in the warehouse because it was a reminder of where you were at in life with Hoseok keeping you under his thumb with just a kiss of his lips.
Now a few days later you lie in bed with Hoseok curled up around you. Just another day where you wake up in his arms after spending your nights with him in bed.
You haven't heard from Minjeong and you haven't made the effort to text her. You believed she was busy and that she'll find the time for you soon enough. When that was you weren't sure but you hoped it would be soon.
As for Hoseok, he slowly stirs to life no doubt after feeling you move as you try and get comfortable. His arm around your waist pulls you closer to him as he stretches his legs behind you. Little by little he comes to before you feel him push your hair to the side so he can kiss the back of your neck.
"Morning, baby."
You don't say anything but you sigh as you stretch yourself.
He hums when you're done and holds you close to his chest.
Silence fills the room while Hoseok presses his lips gently over and over on your neck and shoulder. Neither of you are in a hurry to get up but for different reasons. Him because he's enjoying this and you because you just want to hide away in bed. That killing blow Namjoon landed on you really did a number on your heart. Hoseok has asked you before if you were okay. He can tell something is wrong but you don't dare tell him. You're worried Yoongi's words will come true about Hoseok locking you away in this very room. You're afraid you'll be a drugged up mess like Minjeong and you don't want that. You doubt the drugs he used on Minjeong are anything like his saliva and the idea of you being stuck in his room uselessly doesn't strike you well.
Hoseok's kisses slowly grow from gentle to open mouthed and you can feel him marking you with his teeth. It makes you flinch a little but it shortly comes to an end when there's a knock on the door.
Hoseok sighs. "Come in."
The door opens to reveal Yoongi who doesn't shy away from yours and Hoseok's forms curled up in bed.
"Get up," he says. "We're going shopping."
You guess he's talking to Hoseok but when he directs his sights onto you your brows furrow.
"We're as in who?" Hoseok asks.
"Me and Y/N."
The vampire behind you sits up on one arm as his other keeps you close.
"Wait, wait, wait," he says. "You and Y/N are going shopping? Where? And what about me? What's going on?"
Yoongi cocks his hip out as he settles his weight onto one leg and crosses his arms. "You owe me after ruining our movie night. This is how I want you to make up for it."
Hoseok grumbles something under his breath. You figure Yoongi catches on to it because he raises a brow.
"You didn't even ask if I would be okay with it. What if I had plans with her today?"
"Do you have plans?" Yoongi asks.
Hoseok huffs. "Not entirely, but still."
Standing up straight Yoongi looks you over for a moment before looking back at his brother.
"Just give us today. I promise I'll bring her back safe and sound."
You turn to see Hoseok has a frown on his face. He doesn't look the least bit pleased. He didn't have an issue with you going out with his other brothers before so you wouldn't expect him to have a problem now. It doesn't change the fact that he looks annoyed.
This will be the first time you hang out with Yoongi outside of the house and you find yourself wanting for this to happen. To be honest, besides just waking up and feeling a little tired you were kind of hoping to spend the rest of your day in bed but now with Yoongi here you're willing to step out for him.
You look at the older of the two and see as he gives you an unreadable look. Clearly Hoseok and him are brothers because they oftentimes have this look and you have a hard time guessing what it means.
Biting your lip you turn in place to stare up at Hoseok and tug on the front of his shirt. He looks down at you at the feel of it with his brows furrowed in question.
"Can I," you ask. "I promise I'll be back."
Your voice is soft and the sound of it seems to soothe him a little because his features soften a bit. Still though, he bites his bottom lip nervously and you watch as the blood beneath the petal grows constricted.
"If it bothers you that much we can try another time." Yoongi says. "I just don't know when I'll find the time and energy to do it again."
Hoseok gives his brother a quick unreadable look before looking down at you and sighing.
"Just gives us a minute to get ready. And I want breakfast in her before you take her."
You look at Yoongi and he shrugs. "Fine by me. Just bring your purse with you, Y/N." He nods your way before stepping out leaving you alone with Hoseok once again.
Hoseok is still staring at you and so when you look at him again you're less than startled. His eyes roam over your face and you find yourself staring back.
He sighs again and closes his eyes. He seems to be fighting with himself about something but you don't know what. You have an inkling it has something to do with Yoongi but what exactly about his brother you're not sure so you ask.
"What's wrong?"
He opens his eyes to look at you and gives you a small smile. "I'm just a little worried."
"About?"
He licks his lips before kissing your own. "I was hoping you'd stay with me today."
Your brows furrow by the slightest bit. "Is that something to be worried about?"
Chuckling he shakes his head. "No I - It's nothing serious I just..." He frowns and pouts. "Don't let this be the last time I see you."
You don't know how to take that. The day will come where you will leave and Hoseok will have to deal with it. His words actually make you nervous because you know it won't be easy but with the help of Minjeong and Yoongi you'll have to fight. You'll have to try.
You don't want to think about this right now and you don't want Hoseok suspecting a thing so you do something that you might regret later on but hope he takes it the right way.
Leaning up you kiss him quickly before lying your head back down. "It won't be."
A dopey smile warms his face before he leans down to kiss you. His lips move slowly over yours and for a second that you think he'll deepen it he pulls back with a heart shaped smile.
"Let's get ready."
You hum and follow after him when he stands up. It's in the bathroom where he readies the water temperature, the two of you already undressed with your mouths washed, does he speak to you.
"Rarely does Yoongi want to go out shopping. He usually does that online. I'm assuming he's either getting something for Jimin's birthday or for himself that he can't wait on and decided to string you along." He looks back at you and reaches a hand out for you to take. "I'll be waiting for you here. I'll be working but I'll come off early so we can do something nice between us after."
You nod your head. "I'm sure it won't take long."
Hoseok pulls you in to the shower with him and lets you get wet first so he wash your hair. "I hope not."
Despite how nervous he was earlier Hoseok now seems to be in better spirits. You guess it has something to do with the kiss you gave him. It's not your usual tactic of defense but he liked it and that's all that matters. It gets the man to calm down and set him into a mood where you know he won't be bothering you and Yoongi.
When the two of you are ready you both head down to the dining room where Seokjin and Namjoon are waiting with Yoongi as well. Your eyes avoid Namjoon but you nod your head in greeting when Seokjin says your name.
"Can you believe this," he says. "Yoongi is joining us this morning. What a pleasant surprise."
Hoseok sits you down before taking his own seat. "Him and Y/N are heading out somewhere today."
"Oh?" Seokjin's curiosity is laced in that one word. "Where to?"
"Wouldn't you like to know." Yoongi doesn't pose it as a question.
"Actually I would like to know." Seokjin leans over to rest his chin onto his open hand.
You look at Yoongi who tugs down on his long sleeves after they were rolled up to his elbows. He pushes his plate away and takes a sip of his drink before putting it down. He's in no rush to answer his brother.
"I'm sure it's something for Jimin." Hoseok says.
"Either that or he's going to run away with Y/N."
All eyes draw over to Namjoon who eyes you. He smirks when he catches your sights and even more so when you flex your jaw.
"Why would you say that?" Hoseok sounds annoyed. His hand reaches yours and holds on to it tight leaving you without a choice to grab anything.
Namjoon shrugs. His smirk simmers into something else. "It's just a joke is all."
"Well it's not funny."
"Far from it." Your lips move to agree with Hoseok and it seems that you speaking to him just makes Namjoon's smile grow wider.
"Sorry," he says followed by the word "princess" being mouthed towards you.
It makes you grit your teeth in annoyance before looking down at the empty space before you.
Those words were the first time in a while since you last spoke to him. You've been quiet or ignoring him for the most part and if anyone showed interest as to why they didn't show it. You're actually surprised Seokjin didn't shove his nose into your business and tried to dig up the reason why you've been so quiet when it came to his brother. Either he didn't care which you hardly believed or... he might know something you don't.
You look at the oldest and catch him watching you. His eyes are studying your every move as if he's waiting for something to happen. Your eyes widen the slightest bit at the idea that Namjoon must have told him something but all it does is make Seokjin smile around the lip of his glass as he brings it up to his lips to drink.
"Well if it matters to any of you I had Jimin fitted for a set of rings a while back. They should be ready for pickup and I'm going to present them to him for his birthday. That and there's some music equipment in stock that I want to check out." Yoongi doesn't sound the least bit interested in letting anyone know of his plans but he says it to ease the tension in the room. "I just invited Y/N over to make up for our movie night Hoseok walked in on."
"That's nice of you." Seokjin says.
"More like the movie night I "ruined."" Hoseok says with air quotes. "Your words not mine."
Yoongi shrugs as you're presented your breakfast.
Hoseok releases your hand then to allow you to grab your utensils and begin eating. Your fingers ache after having been held tightly in his and you find you have to flex them a little so you can regain some feeling into them.
"Y/N really has become a fixture in this family." Seokjin says after another sip of his drink. "It's nice to have her. Even nicer that Hoseok permits her presence around us."
Hoseok chews a little before speaking around his breakfast. "I don't see why not. None of you have ever made me feel threatened when it comes to her."
"Hm. If you say so."
Your eyes zero in on Seokjin who tries to act nonchalant though you know something else is wrong.
Your fork vibrates against your plate as your hand begins to shake. It takes a hand to your thigh to calm you down but you realize it's not Hoseok.
You look down at it briefly to see that it's Yoongi's. He squeezes you and lets you go after a second. He did it to comfort you you realize and it hits you that he has an idea that's similar to yours. Seokjin knows something.
You lick your lips and risk the chance of looking at Namjoon. He isn't looking your way - his view preferably on his plate of food. You wonder if he had the balls to tell Seokjin about you two. You doubt it but at the same time with the eldest's attitude you realize that he must have told him something.
It's hard for you to eat then and Hoseok seems to notice.
"Where's your appetite, baby? You need to eat."
Your eyes flicker over to him momentarily and back to your plate. "I know it's just taking me some time."
"Eat as much as you can. I don't want you leaving without a full stomach."
You swallow deeply before going for another mouthful.
Hoseok still doesn't know anything and you don't plan for that to change any time soon. If Namjoon wants to spill on everything after you leave that's on him but not when you're still here and vulnerable.
Despite the need to stop you eat. Both because you want Hoseok off your back about it and because you were hungry before Seokjin and Namjoon opened their mouths. It takes you a bit but you manage to eat almost all of it.
Yoongi is waiting patiently by your side while scrolling through his phone. When you lie your utensils down his head turns towards you with an eyebrow perked.
"Done," he asks.
You hum around the food in your mouth before swallowing. "Yeah."
Hoseok is still eating but he turns towards you with a small frown. "Drink your juice."
You take the glass without question and drink as much as possible. When you're done he looks a little more appeased.
"Are you ready to go?" Yoongi asks as he begins to stand up.
Nodding your head you look at Hoseok who grabs your arm. His eyes bare weight to them as he looks over your face.
"Be careful," he says. "And have fun." He pulls you in close to him so he can kiss you.
The kiss is short but he leaves his mark on you all the same. Reminding you and everyone around you that you're owned by him. It tastes bitter to you but you say nothing.
You join Yoongi who stands by the door and walk out with him from the dining room without a word.
He continues to stay in silence as he walks you through the halls. Even when he grabs a set of keys from the front and takes you to the garage.
You're a little excited nonetheless to be leaving the house and with Yoongi at that. You've grown close to the quiet vampire who you know if given the chance will talk your head off when he finds something he likes. You don't mind it though. Both sides of Yoongi are sweet to you.
Once in the garage he unlocks his car letting the both of you in. The interior is black and sleek with the windows tinted and it hides you away from prying eyes.
He turns on the car once you're both settled and when he opens the garage door and then the gate he begins to talk.
"What's your bank called?"
Your brows furrow for a moment before they raise up your forehead. "KC Bank. Why?"
He brings his phone up and hands it to you. "Type it in. We're heading over there first."
You take his phone and enter it into the search bar and see a list of locations. The closest one though makes you frown though because it's 45 minutes away.
"Uh," you start. "The closest is 45 minutes."
"That's fine." He points to the phone holder set up on the dashboard. "Start up the GPS and put it here."
You do just that before nibbling your lips in silent thought.
He wants to head to your bank? Is this about the escape plan? You ask him just that and he hums.
"We're going to get your money out. It's best you use cash. We don't want anyone to track you if you use your card. Hoseok may not know you have your account still but if he gets an idea it won't stop him from asking the Baeks about it and I doubt they'd be willing to withhold the information from my brother."
Ah, you think. He's smart. You didn't really think about that. You did plan on taking money out but if an ATM can keep track of your use of it you wouldn't want that to happen.
"You might have to pay people under the table to keep quiet about your location as well."
You look at him with mild confusion. "For what?"
He makes a right to head off an exit that leads onto a highway. "My brother isn't an idiot. He'd figure out someone is hiding you but you need people to keep quiet. Pay them what you can off the record in cash and they won't have to worry about the taxes that come with doing things the legal way. That'll keep them quiet."
You stay quiet as you take all the information in.
It's like Yoongi either has done this before or he's done his research. You don't know what he helped do for Minjeong besides help her leave. She comes from a well-off family so you figure they helped her. So maybe all of this he's explaining is just for you. He looked it up to help you out.
"Has Minjeong texted you?"
You shake your head though he can't see it. "I haven't heard from her for a few days."
"Hm. She's probably just busy looking for a rehab for you. Once she has an answer let me know."
"Okay."
You're worried to be honest. What if the plan falls through? Even with Yoongi and Minjeong doing all of this how will you get out? You doubt Yoongi is going to drive all the way out to Minjeong to help you escape. Yeah. That makes you wonder.
"How am I going to get out," you ask.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean how am I going to get to Minjeong? She lives so far away."
Yoongi switches lanes as he continues to listen to both you and the GPS. When he gets around a couple of cars he answers you.
"We'll have her send a driver out and have them meet us at a specified location."
"Is that what you did for Minjeong? If so how did you get someone to get her out? Unless you drove her yourself?"
He shakes his head. "It's not that hard to get in contact with noblemen. Especially if you're one too. I sent a plea out to the Lees and they sent someone. I drove two hours out to meet them and they handled the rest."
"What about the servants? How did you get her out without getting caught?"
"Turns out Seokjin isn't the only one who can make bribes."
Wow, you think. This is a lot but you feel assured by Yoongi's words. He's really thought this through. How lucky are you to have him in your life? What would you have done without him? You would have just had your shitty original plan that you were too afraid to commit to. Yoongi is really coming through for you and going against his brother at that. The idea of it all still makes you nervous but at least you have someone to help back you up.
The rest of your time in the car together is met with conversation regarding other things. He seemed to notice you were growing shaky with your thoughts still swimming around the what-ifs regarding this plan and so he changed the topic for your sake. You appreciated it and when you least expected it you reach the bank.
You look at the building and take a deep breath in to hold. When it feels like you're calming down you release it. Okay. This is it.
"You ready?" Yoongi asks.
"Yeah."
"Then let's go."
The both of you unbuckle and exit out of the car. You go to stand in front of the car and wait for Yoongi who goes to grab something from the back seat. You wonder what it is and when he rounds to the front locking his car doors your brow raises at the large seemingly empty duffle bag he's holding.
He doesn't look at you but he can tell you have a question on the tip of your tongue.
"For the money," he says.
"Ah."
He looks around and when he deems it safe the two of you enter the building.
There aren't a lot of people here which is great. You're able to walk straight to the front desk where Yoongi handles everything.
"What can I help you with, my Lord." The lady at the front welcomes him with a smile.
"I need to withdraw money. Is there anyone that can help me with that?"
"Of course someone can help with that."
All three of your attention is brought to an older woman who walks up to the desk. She smiles as she clasps her hands together in front of her. She looks happy to see Yoongi and you wonder if it's because she's a fan or someone who knows she can get something out of him.
"Lead the way." Yoongi says and her smile grows wider.
"Follow me then."
The two of you follow after the woman through a door that leads to a hall. It's short and with a quick left you enter a room that's decorated with personal items.
"I'm Dorothy Wane." The woman says as she closes the door behind you. "You said you needed to withdraw money, correct?"
"Yes." Yoongi agrees.
"Can I ask why you couldn't use the ATM?"
She points to the chairs in front of her desk asking for you to sit while she takes her seat behind it.
"We're taking all the money out."
"Ah," she says. Her wide smile simmers down to a smaller one. "I can help with that then." She begins to type something into her computer before directing her attention to Yoongi again. "I'm going to need some information from you."
Yoongi nods to you. "It's her account."
Dorothy's eyes widen the slightest bit as she looks at you. Not in a way to say she was surprised but it's done in mild interest.
"I'm going to need some information from you, sweetie."
"Okay," you say softly. "But just know my account was started by my former employers. I hope that won't be a problem?" You worry your hands between each other.
"Her former employers are the Baeks."
You look at Yoongi then back at Dorothy with a nod.
The older woman raises a brow before placing her hands on the desk away from her keyboard.
"If that's the case I'm going to need them to be here."
Your brows draw together in worry.
"I'm sorry but that's not a possibility." Yoongi rests the bag on the floor before him.
"I'm sorry but I can't help you."
You quickly look at Yoongi but he doesn't seem the least bit concerned. He leans back a bit in his chair and crosses his legs with an elbow resting on the arm of the chair. He's silent for a moment as he watches Dorothy and she watches him though after a moment she starts to grow uncomfortable under his stare.
"What's more important to you," he questions. "The rules or your job?"
Whatever remained of a smile on her face slips away in one quick motion. "I beg your pardon?"
Yoongi's eyebrow ticks up in a way that in of itself it states "You heard me."
She looks between you two and you try your best to keep a neutral look on your face.
You see her breathing pick up a little as she shakes her head. "I'm not answering this-"
"You have no choice." Yoongi interrupts. "I'll make sure you never do."
Dorothy's eyes water a little as her lips open and close like a fish out of water. "If people find out I helped you besides the fact that I shouldn't I could lose my job."
"Who's to say you won't lose it now because I said so?"
Your stomach turns uncomfortably at Yoongi's words. He wouldn't get this woman fired, right? Though you know why he's doing it it doesn't change the discomfort that you feel.
Dorothy looks down at her hands on the table that shake. She turns them into fists to keep her cool. She knows that with Yoongi's power she could lose everything. Even if she does things right. Her bottom lip trembles before she swallows deeply and purses her lips to get them to stop trembling. You're starting to feel bad for her and you're about to tell Yoongi to let it go when she speaks out loud.
"If I help you, I need you to help me."
"And what would you need help with?"
She doesn't look confident in herself at all but she tries to play it cool. "If you want your money then you'll have to pay me for it."
"What," you begin to ask incredulously but Yoongi holds a hand up towards you to get you to stay quiet.
"Money isn't a problem," he says. "The question is will you do it and will you keep quiet about it?"
Her brow raises in interest. "There are cameras here, you know?"
"Nothing a quick wipe can't do for that. I'm sure the security guard on watch wouldn't mind to be paid on the side either."
She seems to ponder on his requests for a moment. You look at her as she looks to the side avoiding your gaze and you can practically see the thoughts flitting through her head. Yoongi doesn't rush her and you remain quiet until she looks over to Yoongi then you.
"Tell me what you have and we'll make a deal."
Yoongi looks at you as you do him. He waves his hand at you with a nod.
"Go on. Show her."
Without a minute to waste you take out your phone and access your bank account. When the app loads after logging in you're face to face with the amount and you show it to her.
"It's $80,396," you say. "It's all I have."
Dorothy's face visibly brightens at the numbers staring back at her. A small smile grows on her lips as she leans back in her seat.
"Well?" Yoongi asks.
The woman parts her lips after licking them. "How much will you give me?"
Yoongi stares her down as he tries to come up with an answer. Either that or he's gauging what her reaction might be after his offer.
"$5,000."
"$20,000," she counters.
"Five."
She sucks her teeth a little. "$15,000."
"Five and you get to keep your job."
She seems to have forgotten that her job was on the line here. She huffs but she knows she doesn't have a choice.
"What about the security guard?"
Yoongi rests his other elbow on the other arm of the chair and steeples his fingers. "That's up to you. It's coming out of your cut."
Her lips part in an indignant surprise. You could tell she wants to fight on this but Yoongi isn't giving her much of a choice. Her job still hangs in the balance.
She looks off towards the side as she mulls this through. She's going to be risking a lot for you. If it weren't for the money would it all be worth it?
"I need an answer-"
"I'll do it," she interrupts Yoongi with a firm voice.
Your eyes widen as you look between her and Yoongi. "Really?"
Dorothy nods but nibbles her bottom lip in small worry. Like she just made a deal with the devil but was it a fair deal to begin with?
She accesses her computer again and tries to remain calm as she talks to you. "I should be able to access your account despite the Baeks being unavailable. I just need your resident registration number but first I need for you to scan your card through there." She points to a small machine at the end of the desk. It has a little screen and it's littered with numbers and so when you pull out your card you hesitate because you don't know how to use it.
You can feel Yoongi's eyes on you and you look back at him.
"Sorry I don't... I don't know how to use this."
Dorothy gives you an incredulous look but you try to ignore it. Your sheltered life at the Baeks becomes all the more apparent right now and you hate it. Despite the woman giving you an off look Yoongi doesn't seem to judge you as he leans forward to point something out.
"You see where that slit is? You run the black strip on your card through it."
You look down at the card and the realization behind the usage for the strip makes sense to you now. You're about to do as he said but he stops you with a gentle hand.
"Flip it the other way."
"Oh." Your face grows a little warm with embarrassment as you flip the card and run it through the machine.
It beeps and from there Dorothy waits until your information pops up on her screen.
"Okay," she says as she clicks on some things. "What's your resident registration number?"
You tell her the string of numbers you have memorized and she loads the information up on her keyboard. It takes a series of clicks before she can access what she needs and when she does her eyes light up. No doubt after seeing the amount in your account on screen.
"I'll drain your account now and I'll send the information for out back where I can gather the money for you. Anything else you need for me to do before I do this?"
"Delete the account."
You whip your head towards Yoongi. "But what if I need it for the future?" The future after you're finally free from Hoseok.
He shakes his head. "The Baeks are a part of your past. Let's keep it that way. You can always create a new account here or somewhere else where you don't have to worry about the risk of the Baeks terminating your account out of spite."
You slowly nod as you come to accept what he's saying.
He's right. It's the smartest thing to do, honestly. Change isn't something you enjoy but this is for the best.
Dorothy clears her throat and after another series of clicks she speaks. "It's done. I'll get the money now and I'll delete your account after."
She goes to stand up but before she can leave Yoongi calls to her. She pauses by the desk and you watch as he stands to hand her the duffle bag. Grabbing it she goes to walk away but Yoongi holds on tight.
"Not a cent missing." His tone is threatening and the message seems to get through to her because she gulps.
He releases the bag and lets the older woman scurry out. When the two of you are alone he takes his seat and leans back.
You look at Yoongi who sits in silence but it's too deafening for you to deal with.
"Did you - were you actually going to have her fired?"
The vampire doesn't say anything at first. You think he's just going to keep quiet and ignore you but he sighs.
"If you're upset about it then I'm sorry. It was either we get your money out or you'd deal with either Minjeong or I supporting you financially. Not that we would have a problem with that but I doubt you would have liked it."
You hum.
No you wouldn't have liked that. To know that after all those years of hard work and you won't be able to touch your money, possibly, never again didn't sit right with you. And even though you wish he wouldn't have threatened her you know he was left with little options.
You wonder, if this were any of the other brothers in the family would you have tolerated their actions as much as you did Yoongi's just a few minutes ago? You tell yourself it's because he's a good person and sometimes good people have to do bad things. That's all. You think you should stop thinking about it because if you don't it'll consume you.
It takes some time for Dorothy to come back. Enough time where you're left feeling anxious. Questions running through your head like "Will she come back?" or "Is she going to call someone to help her out?" Then again who can help her against someone like Lord Yoongi? The police certainly wouldn't. Yoongi has to tell you to stop and calm down because he can hear your heart rattling like crazy in your chest. If he weren't so confident that things would work out you'd probably lose your head.
When the door opens and reveals Dorothy with duffle bag in hand you sigh in relief. Yoongi makes no action whatsoever and just waits for the woman to sit the bag onto the desk with a heavy thud after she struggled getting it in.
"It's all here," she says. She unzips the bag as Yoongi stands up to look and so do you. "I had it counted several times but you're more than welcome to count it yourself."
And Yoongi does. He counts each stack of hundreds until he reaches the amount you said there should be. It takes some time but he does it and he seems pleased with the results right after.
"Here," he says. He pushes some of the stacks towards the older woman that he had separated on the side. "This is yours. Do with it what you will but don't forget the deal. Tell the security guard to wipe everything."
"What if we're questioned about it?" Dorothy asks.
Yoongi shrugs. "Tell them it was a glitch in the system."
You look at Dorothy as she nods and sighs. You can't imagine the amount of pressure she's under right now. Her eyes may have glowed with the money but you still see a bit of hesitancy that wants to come out.
"Thank you," you say.
She looks up at you and sees the sincerity in your eyes. It seems to do something to her because she gives you a small smile.
Without another second to waste Yoongi begins to pile the stacks back into the duffle bag. You're glad he brought a large one because it's a tight fit. Once they're all in he grabs the bag with ease and doesn't look the least bit weighed down by it the way Dorothy did.
"Delete the account," he says. "And then we're done here."
Dorothy brings her monitor back to life with a wave of the mouse and you wait until she nods.
"It's done."
"Then that's all for today. Remember what I said about security."
"I know. I know." She waves her Lord off in a way that isn't disrespectful as it's done tiredly.
Without a second glance back Yoongi turns to leave and you're quick to follow after him. He doesn't say anything as you walk behind him. Anything he wants to say remains in his head until after you both reach the outside.
He unlocks the car and goes to open his trunk. He tucks the duffle bag in the corner and shuts the door before heading to the driver side. You take that as a chance to sit on your side and when the doors are shut does he speak.
"We're keeping the money back there. Until the day you leave comes."
Your brows furrow. "Oh."
He can sense your confusion and as he turns on the car to back up he tells you why.
"We'll look suspicious walking in with that bag and while I can hide it away in my room, if for whatever reason we need to hightail it I'd rather it be ready and waiting for us in the car."
That's a good idea. It makes sense so you don't fight him on it. It served no purpose being in the house and seeing that it's Yoongi's car neither his siblings nor the servants would dare use it.
After setting up the GPS you find yourselves on the highway again. Even though you still feel a little nervous you feel like a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders. You've been risking a lot with not putting that money into use but thanks to Yoongi the issue has been taken care of. Now you're just waiting on Minjeong. You hope you hear from her soon so that a final plan can be made. Just the idea of leaving has you a little excited but you try and remain chill to avoid overwhelming yourself with so many emotions.
Yoongi switches lanes before he looks at you then back towards the front. "I can hear the change in your heart beat," he says. "You okay?"
You hum in agreement. "I'm just a little excited is all."
"Don't get too excited. A lot can happen from here until then."
You grow silent after the truth. Anything can happen but you're hoping it goes your way either way.
"I don't mean to spoil the mood but you have to be prepared for anything."
"No, I know. I just can't help it though. We've made more progress together than I ever made on my own." The rest you don't have to say because he catches on.
"Sometimes help is all you need," he says. "It took a while to get here but now you are and as soon as we hear from Minjeong I'll do my best to help you go further on. We just have to find a time when not everyone is home."
That's true. Despite having the money and a rehabilitation center's location soon to be set it doesn't mean you can leave just yet. The idea of it tries to put a damper on your mood but you try to not let it.
The two of you settle for a comfortable silence as he heads towards a jewelry store. The same one he took Jimin to to get fitted for a ring set. It's been finalized and polished and Yoongi was on his way to get them as he said earlier. When you get there there aren't a lot of people so no one looks your way when you step out of the car with Yoongi.
The building is short but wide and when you step inside you're greeted by black walls and floors with glass cases housing a multitude of jewelry. There's a young man behind the counter and he welcomes you in with a bright smile.
"Ah, Lord Yoongi. What can I help you with today?" He looks at you. "Maybe something for your female companion?"
You don't like the way he says that but Yoongi ignores it.
"I'm here to see Antwon. He has something for me."
The young man nods before stepping through the back door. It takes him a minute but when he comes back a burly man with a bright smile and says his greetings.
Yoongi smiles. "You know what I'm here for."
"That I do." Antwon nods. "Come step into the back with me so you can check them out first."
A hand is placed on your lower back as Yoongi helps guide you towards the back. You weren't expecting him to take you with him but you're glad he does. You didn't want to be alone with a stranger.
"You'll love what we did with the rings. Since they're customized for your brother not a single person on this Earth will have the same." The man says.
Yoongi just hums but it just makes Antwon laugh.
You're lead into a room that rivals with the walls and floors of the storefront. They're all white and spotless.
"They're right here."
Your eyes zero in on a small wooden box on a foldable table with a metal plate decorating the top with Jimin's name engraved on it. The letters look delicate and when Antwon goes to open it you see five rings embedded into the velvet lining of the box. Not a single one of the rings designs look the same. Some look a little bulky while the others look dainty. They're all silver and would no doubt look beautiful on Jimin's hands.
Yoongi leans over to check the rings out. He carefully takes each one of them out and inspects them before handing them to Antwon to wipe down before slipping them back into the box. He doesn't say anything while he does this and you're not sure if he's satisfied with what he sees until he nods.
"They look good."
Antwon laughs. "Of course they do. We made them." He closes the box and hands it to Yoongi. "I'm sure your brother will love them."
Yoongi just nods again but it's a good enough answer for the burly man.
"Is there anything else I can help you with? Maybe something," he looks at you. "For the Missus? I can only presume?"
"Sister-in-law." Yoongi says. "And no we're fine."
You feel uncomfortable with the label he gave you. Sister-in-law? You get why he said it but couldn't you just be a friend?
"Ah I see." Antwon says. "Then let's get you out of here. You're more than welcome to come back for anything else you might have in mind."
Yoongi hums and before Antwon could see you out Yoongi slips out of the room with you.
You follow behind him as the two of you leave the building with a goodbye from the young man up front. Yoongi is quick to place the jewelry box in the back seat of his car and you figure these rings have already been paid for.
The two of you hop into the car and as Yoongi starts the car you speak.
"Sister-in-law?"
He doesn't even look your way as he starts the car. "Yep."
Your brows furrow as you frown.
He knows why you're questioning him on this and so when he leaves the parking spot he tells you.
"It was the best thing to say. I didn't want any assumptions being made about us and it possibly getting to Hoseok's ears. It seems you have forgotten what kind of people my brothers are. We don't need someone like Seokjin to go on telling Hoseok about what the people have to say about us."
Oh. He's right. It still makes you sigh though as you lean back in your seat.
"We don't need Hoseok preventing us to hang out again because of this and risking the chance for me to be with you to help you escape."
And he's right. Again.
Honestly you were enjoying your time with Yoongi. So much so that you almost forgot why you were doing all of this. Keyword being almost. It straightens out your mood and so you don't question Yoongi further on his choice of words.
You haven't done that much so far but your time waiting at the bank makes it feel like you've been out for the majority of the day. You know you still have one more place to go and you don't complain about it. The longer you stay away from his home the better, but you know at some point you do have to go back. Hoseok is expecting you no doubt in a state of tizziness. You think back to the kiss you gave him and the promise that you'll return to him. It was the best thing to do at the time and you wonder if you regret it. Yes and no. You'll always regret showing any sort of affection towards Hoseok but you know this is also you're way of setting the steps towards salvation. The more you make him believe you'll never leave him the lower his guard will be and the easier you can slip away from him without him worrying that you will escape.
Yoongi and Minjeong are doing enough. It's about time you do something to help. If making Hoseok believe you're falling for him will help then for fuck sakes you'll do it.
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bangtan as gang members
do I believe they would be capable of those type of things?
absolutely not because they're the purest souls to have ever walked this earth.
that said:
the informant: jhope
A person who provides privileged information, or (usually damaging) information intended to be intimate, concealed, or secret, about a person or organization to someone else.
drug lord: yoongi
A type of crime boss, who is in charge of a drug-trafficking network, organization, or enterprise.
bagman: taehyung
May be involved in protection rackets or the numbers game, collecting or distributing the money involved. When acting as an intermediary in such activities, a bagman may also be called delivery boy or running man, and may receive a fraction of the money collected.
cybercrime : jimin
Cybercrime encompasses a wide range of criminal activities that are carried out using digital devices and/or networks. These crimes involve the use of technology to commit fraud, identity theft, data breaches, computer viruses, scams, and expanded upon in other malicious acts.
the assassin: jungkook
Contract killing (also known as murder-for-hire) is a form of murder or assassination in which one party hires another party to kill a targeted person or people.[1] It involves an agreement which includes some form of compensation, monetary or otherwise.
seller of stolen property : seokjin
Possession of stolen goods is a crime in which an individual has bought, been given, or acquired stolen goods.In many jurisdictions, if an individual has accepted possession of goods (or property) and knew they were stolen, then the individual may be charged with a crime, depending on the value of the stolen goods, and the goods are returned to the original owner.
weapons trafficker : namjoon
Arms trafficking or gunrunning is the illicit trade of contraband small arms, explosives, and ammunition, which constitutes part of a broad range of illegal activities often associated with transnational criminal organizations.
info -> wikipedia
(bts ai saving lives)
© 2023 of Mia (arosesstorm). All Rights Reserved.
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for the night (teaser) | min yoongi
title: for the night
pairing: drug lord!min yoongi x waitress!(f)reader
genre/rating: angst, childhood best friends to strangers to ??, unrequited love, valentine’s day au, smut, romance, 18+
teaser summary: why can’t things just go back to the way they used to be?
teaser warnings: just some angst and rejection
est. wc: 10-12k
release date: february 16th, 2024 ; 8pm est
note: i was supposed to post the actual fic tonight but editing ended up taking much more time than i anticipated. plus, i decided to add another scene bc it felt like something was missing. anyway, mardi gras is approaching so i’ll have to wait until wednesday to finish this up. hope you enjoy the teaser. also, i wanna give a big thanks to @itaeewon for this beautiful banner and @cafekitsune for the divider. please check out both of these blogs; they’re awesome !!
posted: tumblr | ao3
“Hey, it's late. You wanna come inside?”
Regret washes over you as soon as the words leave your mouth.
“You know I can’t do that,” he answers.
Well, now you know...
Nodding, you lie and pretend that you understand where he’s coming from. “Yeah, I get it. Sorry about that.”
“There’s no need,” he assures.
Still, you feel guilty. Selfish.
Foolish.
“Well look, I'll see you around, yeah?” He checks his phone and tosses it on the passenger seat. "I have to go deal with something."
You try not to look disappointed, but it’s probably no good. You’re sure he hears it in your voice. Or maybe you sound more tired than anything. You are exhausted. Maybe your restless mind that's causing you to get ahead of yourself and open old wounds. It’s best you go inside before you can dig yourself a bigger hole.
“You'll call me if you need me, right?”
You swallow the bitterness coating your tongue before you reply. You’ll get over it. You always do.
Just not right now.
“Yeah, I’ve tried that already. Goodnight, Yoongi.”
join the taglist here. also, i'd love to hear what you think of the teaser. do you think we'll have a happy ending?
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GANGSTA | myg [m.list]
❝i’m a fucking criminal, princess.❞
summary: rough sex, blood money, drugs, and gang related activity; four things you never predicted to experience in your simple life. not until you opened your mouth and caught his attention.
pairings: gang leader!yoongi x f!reader
warnings: smut, gunplay, drugs, drug addiction, dark!yoongi, drug lord!yoongi, strong language, gang violence, blood and gore, murder, manipulation, possessive/obsessive behavior, abuse, cheating, angst, fluff, dubcon, implied noncon (not from yoongi but within his gang with his knowledge), 18+, minors dni
authors note: hello??? why does suga never give me a break? he snapped on haegeum. giving me toxic gang member vibes. this is gonna be a dark, heavily graphic fic. i warn you, if you don’t like anything mentioned in the warnings then this isn’t for you. this story is purely fictional and for your enjoyment, i do not condone gang violence, affiliation or any of the fucked up shit yoongi will do in this story. comment below if you want to be added to the taglist.
©btsugarush. please do not repost.
000 | 001 | 002 | 003 | 004 | 005
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My taegi fics:
And they were roommates!
Yoongi is a tired businessman stressing over his subordinates and Taehyung is a tired college student stressing over Yoongi’s ass.
Specifically, how bad he wants it.
(Explicit ✧ roommates au ✧ student taehyung, businessman yoongi ✧ roommates with benefits ✧ smut, fluff, angst)
🌹🌹🌹
Spoils of War
After the Kim pack nearly wipes out the human kingdom, Prince Yoongi is captured and brought back to Prince Taehyung as a gift.
Taehyung just wants to be left alone, and Yoongi just wants to go home. Of course they hate each other, but Taehyung will not hesitate rip anyone who touches Yoongi to shreds
(Explicit ✧ royal/hybrid au ✧ human yoongi ✧ hybrid/alpha taehyung ✧ enemies to lovers ✧ smut, fluff, angst)
🌹🌹🌹
You scratch my back, I'll blow out yours
Yoongi is the newest up and coming musician hot on the scene. At just 23, he’s an ingenious producer, phenomenal rapper, captivating performer, and overall he’s one badass motherfucker who doesn’t take shit from anyone.
That being said, he may or may not need to sleep with his record label’s son Taehyung, who’s been pining after Yoongi for months, if he wants a chance at making it big.
(Explicit ✧ coffee shop au ✧ frat boy/barista taehyung, rapper yoongi ✧ blackmail ✧ smut, fluff, angst)
🌹🌹🌹
Flower boy
Yoongi had seen far too much and done even worse to be affected by anything else life had to offer. That is, until the handsome owner of the flower shop down the street gives him a few daisies and a new outlook on life.
(Explicit ✧ mafia au ✧ drug lord yoongi, florist taehyung ✧ mutual pining ✧ smut, fluff, angst)
🌹🌹🌹
Why don't you say "I love you" back?
A little drabble based off of Yoongi’s vlive where Taehyung says “I love you” and refuses to leave until Yoongi says it back
(rated: G ✧ canon compliant ✧ yoongi's vlive - "i won't leave until you say that word" ✧ fluff
🌹🌹🌹
So cute
Yoongi just wants to bang but Taehyung can’t be serious for two fucking minutes
(Explicit ✧ college au ✧ boyfriends!taegi ✧ smut, fluff)
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Hello my lovely friend 😌 I’m so so so proud of you and all that you’ve accomplished this past year! And thank you for letting me be a small part of your time here 💜
Also pls give me some unhinged urban fantasy Yoonmin to feed my sick soul 🙏🏽 I love you 😈 보라해
❀ Pairing: Half-demon!Yoongi x Demon Lord!Jimin
❀ Summary: samsara [sɘm-sӓr-ɘ](noun) : the indefinitely repeated cycles of birth, misery, and death caused by karma. OR: Yoongi has made a terrible mistake that has bound Jimin to a life of endless grief.
❀ Word Count: 4,060
❀ Genre: Urban fantasy, angst, smut, lovers to not?
❀ Rating: 18+ Minors are strictly prohibited from engaging and reading this content. It contains explicit content and any minors discovered reading or engaging with this work will be blocked immediately.
❀ Warnings: Vague world-building, mention of guns and Yoongi is restrained the entire time, angst!!!!, Yoongi has fucked over Jimin, references to Christian theology, mentions of scars, Jimin is mean, sexually explicit content including light blood play, restraints, spit play, no anal prep or foreplay, unprotected sex (anal penetration), ONE kiss even though I wanted to write more, very disconnected/angry sex, no aftercare, Yoongi and Jimin are fucking sad!!!! And distant!!!! Not a happy ending really? Just vague.
❀ Published: April 1, 2023
❀ A/N: Jai thank you so much for trusting me to write this for you. I know that the original picture is a little bit more … unhinged and I was planning to go far more unhinged with this, but somehow the poem really made me more angsty and I loved the bit about two-hundred and ten million years of desire wash through me and I really tried to channel that here. I at least still have the image of Yoongi being tied up with Jimin on top of him with a gun lmao. Thank you for being here and making me love writing in this community so much. ALSO THIS IS MY FIRST MEMBER X MEMBER FIC I’VE EVER WRITTEN SO BE FUCKING NICE TO ME PLEASE I’M VERY FUCKING SCARED RIGHT NOW.
Thank you @here2bbtstrash for beta reading and making this perfect ily and I love our totally legit monogamous relationship
❀ Disclaimer: All members of BTS are faces and name claims for this story. This is entirely a work of fiction and by no means is meant to be a projection, judgment or representation of real-life people. Any scenarios or representations of the people and places mentioned in works are not representative of real-life scenarios.
Masterlist | Ask | Milestone Event Request Fill |
Yoongi might be having a bad night. Really, he knows that it’s fifty-fifty. He can feel the weight of drugs making him sluggish, eyes too heavy to open. There’s a tight squeeze around his arms, which are pinned to his body. When he squirms, he feels the constriction of what he thinks are ropes or cables - it’s hard to tell through the leather of his jacket.
There’s definitely pain blooming from his skull, a throb that beats in time with his heart. It’s part of the reason why he keeps his eyes closed as he tries to suss out the rest of his scenario, tied up and drugged as he is. He can smell the sheets - his own, for sure. That’s his sage shampoo he smells and the soft rub of jersey knit against his cheek.
Tied up, drugged, and in his own bed.
It’s definitely fifty-fifty where this is going to go. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s been drugged and tied up only to receive the best orgasm of his life. However, he has also had his ass beat after fucking up a contract for Hoseok, starting in this exact scenario.
Someone moves in the room. Yoongi keeps his breathing even and soft, feigning sleep as he listens. His hearing is sharper than most, but the footfalls of the other person are inaudible to him. When he hears a sound again, it’s something like a scoff. Purposeful.
They know he’s awake, and they know he’s listening.
Still, Yoongi’s captor doesn���t say anything. The bed dips near Yoongi’s feet. Not significantly, indicating his kidnapper is smaller- can he be kidnapped if he’s home? The soundless way they move rules out humans. Yoongi can’t even hear them breathe as they crawl up his legs, the sound of material scratching against material the only thing he can make out.
Fuck. They’re dressed, which leads Yoongi to believe this isn’t the kind of restraint that leads to fun. He’s a little disappointed, sagging into the bed as the weight of a person - or creature - settles on his waist.
He doesn’t move, waiting for them to make the first move. Yoongi runs through a list of enemies and internally winces. It’s long, and so many of them are recent that he thinks the weight sitting on top of him could be there to collect any number of debts.
Cold metal kisses Yoongi’s cheek. He shivers in response immediately, gut flipping as goosebumps break out up and down his arms. As a half-demon, he’s not as susceptible to temperatures as full humans are, and he’s not invulnerable like a full-blooded demon. But the metal against his skin tingles, vibrating at a frequency that he can barely detect.
Brimstone.
Fuck. The list of enemies that own a gun made with brimstone alloy grows shorter, but Yoongi is none the wiser.
“Come on,” the voice urges, barely above a whisper. “You gonna fucking look at me or what?”
That voice pulls Yoongi’s eyes open immediately, his head turning to blink away the swimming colors and whirling lights as his vision melts into place. His mouth falls open slightly as he looks up to see Jimin peering down at him, head cocked and frowning.
Yoongi’s heart thunders in his chest as he fights between trying to find something to say and drinking in the vision that is Jimin. He looks a little bit different. His hair is longer than it was last time, shorter on the sides than in the back, almost in a mullet but not quite. He’s a slip of a thing but heavy, indicating there’s weight on his wiry frame.
And his face. Hells, his face is devastating. Siren eyes staring at him, sucking the breath from Yoongi as he gazes and gazes and gazes. He could stare into Jiimin’s eyes forever, falling head over heels into their bottomless depths as he loses sense of the world.
Jimin smirks and presses the gun in his hand to Yoongi’s cheek hard enough that the metal is pushing uncomfortably against his cheekbone. Yoongi doesn’t care, gaze sweeping over the rest of his captor. Smug, full lips that are always a natural shade of rose, narrow nose with the perfect rounded tip, and an angry scar that vanishes into the collar of Jimin’s black jacket.
Yoongi turns his attention from the scar before thinking about it and then looks again, not wanting Jimin to notice.
But it’s Jimin. One of the many Lords of Hell. He notices, and the gun digs in a little deeper as Jimin’s face morphs from beautiful to terrible. “What?” Jimin seethes. “Don’t like seeing your work? You should admire it, Yoongi. True fucking art isn’t it?”
“You’re beautiful.” His voice comes out hoarse from disuse. He licks his lips which are dry and cracked. “With and without it.”
“I never said I wasn’t.”
Yoongi feels the space between them so much at these times. The first few minutes of seeing him again are always the worst to navigate. Sometimes Jimin is so full of hate that there’s no crossing the rough waters between them. Sometimes Jimin is so full of grief that Yoongi capsizes in the storm.
They are best in the middle. Somewhere between hate and want.
“Why am I all tied up?” He wiggles at the rope. He’s starting to lose feeling in his arms, a soft tingle settling from his elbows to fingers. He looks down at the gun - a pistol, dark black and buzzing with the energy of a Hell-made weapon. “And why is there a gun pointed at me?”
“I thought about killing you.” There’s no sign on Jimin’s face as to whether he means it or not. “Didn’t want to do it while you were asleep, though.”
“A weapon like this would do it.” Yoongi feels his breath catch as something angry flickers in Jimin’s eyes and he feels the need to add, “Permanently. This would kill me permanently.”
“I know.”
It hangs in the air between them, the finality of Jimin’s admission. That he thought about killing Yoongi. Not for the first time over the years they have been playing this game. Sometimes, Jimin even conceded to killing Yooongi. Small deaths. Minor deaths. Impermanent. The kind that sends Yoongi to the edge of Hell where he at least gets to see Namjoon occasionally.
Those meetings are always awkward when the Guardian of Hell sees Yoongi standing in the corner, alone and not in line with others waiting to be sorted. Namjoon always gives him the same smile and pat on the back.
“It’s nice to see you,” Namjoon always says. “Alas, this one isn’t permanent. I’ll see you next time he sends you, yeah?”
Sometimes Yoongi just nods, toeing his boot in the gravel before Namjoon’s eyes go white with light and Yoongi is flooded with blinding pain as he’s sent back topside. Other times, he’s more talkative.
Now, Yoongi stares down the barrel of something that wouldn’t send him to Namjoon. It would send him straight to Seokjin, who has an empty cell waiting for Yoongi.
“Well,” Yoongi murmurs. He looks up to see Jimin watching him. He’s no longer expressionless. There is pain in those eyes - eons of it. Yoongi tries to figure out how to get Jimin away from his grief, how to walk him back toward the safe zone between hatred and… something else. “I wouldn’t blame you if you did it.”
“It wouldn’t fix this.” Jimin’s hand comes up to the rough scar on his neck, jagged and knotted red. “It wouldn’t fix me.”
It’s true. What Yoongi did to keep Jimin will never let him go, even if Yoongi dies. It had been done out of… desire, out of want, out of something that was so confused with love that Yoongi had sacrificed Jimin’s free will to keep him bound to earth, year after year, decade after decade. At the time, Yoongi thought that the word was love. He did it out of love.
Now he knows that love could not do something like this. Love cannot be responsible for Yoongi taking the knife to Jimin’s neck, spilling his blood over the sacred ground to taint it and make it an anchor point. Love could not have driven Yoongi, half-assed in magic, to bind Jimin to earth for longer than he was allowed.
Love could not have been responsible for Yoongi condemning Jimin to a life of recurring pain. To agony. All for one week of time with him. A single blip in the endless abyss of their lives.
Lords cannot walk topside, Jimin had gasped, that wet, death-rattle sound. You cannot undo this.
As a Lord of Hell, Jimin’s time allotted on earth was only snippets of hours. Too powerful to walk the earth, he and the others are only given tiny moments to walk among the living, to see the vitality of life pulsing through the streets.
Punishment for anything longer than that is endless torture at the end of Belial’s fiery whip. It is eons of time passing between eternal lashes and the snatch of one week that Jimin is bound to exist on earth.
It only took a collection of hours for Yoongi to want Jimin - for he cannot call it love, now. Stolen moments pressed so firmly behind Yoongi’s eyes when he sleeps that it makes him dizzy. Makes him sick, to feel and relive the memories.
But Yoongi is bad at magic, and now Jimin is bound to a week on earth once every year. Beyond his allotted limit. Beyond what is allowed. And thus, the cycles of Jimin’s life have been secured: A week on earth between years and years of punishment in Hell for breaking the rules. Eons of time passing differently from that on earth, with Jimin suffering for Yoongi trying to steal more than hours with Jimin.
But Yoongi is bad at magic and didn’t realize he bound Jimin to the earth. Not to Yoongi. So Jimin would live on in this hellish cycle even without Yoongi.
“I should do it,” Jimin murmurs. His eyes are distant and Yoongi knows that Jimin is weighing the consequences.
For one week, he gets to stay here. To do what he wants with his time. Sometimes he spends his week never leaving Yoongi’s bed. Sometimes he spends it inflicting as much pain and suffering on Yoongi as he can. Sometimes, he spends it trying to find a way out from Yoongi, from this.
“But I’ve been living this curse for this long with you. Perhaps I could do it a little longer.”
The words aren’t romantic, but Yoongi’s heart flutters. He watches as Jimin heaves a sigh, pulling the heavy weight of the gun from Yoongi’s cheek. There is a dull throb there, his sensitive skin bruising already as Jimin leans, shifting his weight to put the gun on the table.
Jimin’s movement creates friction against Yoongi’s crotch and his stomach flips, arousal shooting straight to his cock. He hates it, that something as simple as this with Jimin can have that effect. He feels flushed as Jimin settles his weight back on Yoongi, sitting directly on his dick where the blood starts to flow.
Yoongi’s fingers flex, needing to squirm somewhere. He doesn’t dare move his hips, but he needs to move, needs to fidget as the feeling sinks deeper into his stomach.
Jimin looks down at him and it’s the most beautiful thing Yoongi has ever seen. He wouldn’t mind if it were Jimin who sent him to that permanently reserved spot in Hell for him. Yoongi deserves it and has been evading permanent death for almost two hundred years now, as befits the bastard son of Hell’s prince.
Only Jimin can send Yoongi to that place forever, now. Only Jimin has the power and pull to do it without Yoongi’s sire stepping in.
Stupid boy, the Prince of Hell had whispered when Yoongi admitted it to his father, that Wednesday it was raining some time ago. Anchoring a Lord to this mortal plane. I will not let him go unpunished. Not for you, not for him. He will suffer like the others, and so will you, should he decide he’s had enough of you and your endless folly.
Yoongi always wonders when Jimin will decide he’s had enough. He hopes it’s not tonight, though. Not with the way Jimin’s face has softened, finally drifting away from grief and despair to something else.
“I’m tired,” Jimin admits. He drops his hands to fiddle with the hem of Yoongi’s shirt. Delicate fingers brush against hot skin and Yoongi can’t help but wiggle his hips this time. He lets out a sound between a sigh and a whine and the corner of Jimin’s mouth lifts as he watches Yoongi through half-lidded eyes. “Alright, then.”
Shadow fills the room. Yoongi looks to see that night has blocked out the window. Inside his room, it’s just Jimin’s pressing shadow and a single lamp glowing over by the door. Somehow, Yoongi feels comforted by the throbbing of Jimin’s shadow magic and the way that Jimin’s hands drift to unbutton his jeans.
Yoongi’s breath is stuck in his chest as Jimin’s small fingers work the zipper. Jimin has always been small, but mighty. A force to be reckoned with, a shadow storm beneath skin. It’s what Yoongi loved - admired - most about Jimin. How he moves through the world unchallenged and respected. How he loves when Yoongi fights him, challenges him, and questions him as no one else dares.
Now, Yoongi doesn’t think Jimin admires Yoongi’s challenges. It was Yoongi’s challenge to rules and fate that got them into this reincarnated week of hell.
Whatever was between them had died a long time ago. But there is still want, and as Yoongi’s jeans scrap down his thighs and he shivers when Jimin nips at his knee, the want is all he can think about.
It is in his blood, this craving for Jimin. This need, this desire, this unhinged aching feeling that claws at Yoongi’s belly. The same insanity that drove him to destroy Jimin for a single sliver of time and tie him to the mortal world.
Jimin doesn’t untie Yoongi. It makes Yoongi a little dizzy as Jimin shucks his jeans all the way off, leaning forward to bite savagely into the meat of Yoongi’s thigh. He cries out, both in pain and a bolt of pleasure. He’s hard now, cock throbbing as Jimin’s breath ghosts over Yoongi’s thighs. Jimin leans back, eyes locking on Yoongi as he sheds his clothes.
It’s a sight to see. Jimin had been an angel once, before that long one-trip fall. He can see the grace in Jimin’s beauty. Soft cheeks and lips, supple thighs and ass, ribbon curves like a dancer. But there’s shadow too, the hard cut of Jimin’s jaw, the sharpness of his eyes as they land on Yoongi, the powerful muscle corded in his compact body.
Yoongi very much feels like prey as Jimin kneels on the bed, naked. He’s beautiful, a rendition of Michaelangelo’s David but with a much bigger cock, thick and brown at the tip, dripping beads of precum. Yoongi makes a needy sound. He doesn’t mean to, but it comes out when he sees how hard Jimin is.
“Shut up,” Jimin bites out and Yoongi bites his lip hard. Doesn’t make a sound, though his feet dig into the bed and he’s hot all over, suffocating as he’s naked from the waist down and trapped in a jacket and shirt. He wants Jimin to take the rest off, to feel Jimin’s skin. “Don’t be a whore.”
Yoongi is dizzy. He wants to be a whore, if it gets him closer. If he has to act like one to get the damn clothes off, he thinks he just might. But he gets distracted, watching as Jimin fists his cock, pumping leisurely and tilting his head back, golden lamplight painting him, making him glow.
Golden boy, so full of pain.
Jimin stops stroking himself to crawl up Yoongi’s body. Yoongi holds his breath as Jimin cages him in, leaning forward so their noses are almost touching. Yoongi searches for softness in Jimin’s eyes, but there is none. Not for him, not anymore. Want, sure. Desire, sure. But nothing more than the craving for Yoongi in Jimin’s blood.
Jimin’s cock brushes against Yoongi’s and even the barest hint of skin on skin sends a zap of pleasure down his spine and he bites his bottom lip, trying to keep quiet like asked. He tastes metal and salt in his mouth, lip bleeding from the force of his bite.
“Just one,” Jimin says, more to himself than to Yoongi.
And then Jimin kisses him and nothing else matters.
Jimin’s tongue tangles with Yoongi’s in a lick of warmth and blood. Yoongi’s world spins as their mouths melt together, slow and heated. There’s no air in his lungs and he doesn’t care, lifting his head, sucking Jimin’s tongue into his mouth.
Yoongi’s neck and chest feel hot and the room is tilted on its axis when Jimin rolls his hips against Yoongi’s. He moans into Jimin’s mouth, his skin tingling as pleasure curls through him, cock leaking and sticky against Jimin’s as he continues to devour Yoongi’s mouth.
It feels like he’s in a shitty hotel room stealing a moment with Jimin again, frotting against one another in a rush of heat and borrowed time. He wiggles his arms, trying to free himself, trying to grab a hold of Jimin and feel him. He wants so badly to-
Jimin pulls away and Yoongi’s eyes snap open. Blood is smeared across Jimin’s mouth and he’s not looking Yoongi in the eye.
“Jimin-”
“No,” he answers, not looking up. He spits in his hand, fluid tinged pink from Yoongi’s blood in his mouth. He closes his eyes and leans back, stroking himself a few times with one hand as he pushes Yoongi’s thighs open with another. “I said one.”
Yoongi realizes what he meant now. One kiss. It was all he was allowing Yoongi to have. Or perhaps, all he was willing to take.
Grief threatens to take away the vibration under Yoongi’s skin from the feeling of Jimin against him, but he ignores it in favor of squirming when Jimin grabs his cock and prods Yoongi’s tight rim. He grinds his teeth, realizing Jimin isn’t going to prep him or stretch him wide before fucking him. Yoongi deserves the pain, he supposes.
Instead of begging Jimin to wait, Yoongi opens his legs wider. Doesn’t complain that he’s still tied up for Jimin to do what he wants, still half-clothed and unable to feel anything except the pulsing throb of his cock and Jimin’s tip breaching the tight ring of Yoongi’s ass.
The burn is intense. Yoongi holds his breath and squeezes his eyes shut, unable to think beyond the ringing in his ears and the way Jimin pushes into him. Yoongi tries to relax but can’t, his body shivering as it flips between pain and pleasure. Jimin is at least slow, the push of his cock against Yoongi’s tight walls both delicious and terrible all at once.
Yoongi’s vision dances in front of him, pulses black at the edges. He gasps, suddenly remembering to breathe as Jimin bottoms out, holding all of his weight where his hips rest against Yoongi’s ass, waiting and letting Yoongi spasm around him. His walls hug Jimin’s cock tight. His muscles twitch and scream at the intrusion.
It hurts but Yoongi doesn’t care. It’s good - better than good. He is so so full, Jimin buried inside of him, and he’s kicking his feet on the bed, needing more, wanting more. He doesn’t know if he says it or if Jimin is done waiting because he pulls back, cock dragging against Yoongi and he nearly passes out with relief.
Yoongi is seeing stars, fingers gripping the bottom of his shirt as Jimin starts to fuck him in earnest. Yoongi’s breath punches out of him with every snap of Jimin’s hips, as though the Lord of Hell can fuck the oxygen from his lungs. It feels like he is, hitting deep inside Yoongi where he swears only Jimin can reach.
Jimin is vicious, hands clawing the sheets as he leans forward and slams into Yoongi, the smacking of his hips drowning out Yoongi’s gasping breath. He feels like he’s being driven to the edge of madness, tight rim swallowing Jimin’s cock whole.
Shadows dance around Jimin. They curl at his collarbone, hiding his scar from Yoongi. They drift around his arms, and ghost over his flexing stomach. Both Jimin and his shadows don’t touch Yoongi though, and if he wasn’t so fucked out from the feeling of finally having Jimin back, he might cry.
Maybe he will later.
The burn lessens as Jimin jostles Yoongi suddenly. The contact is brief and cold - he realizes Jimin moved him with his shadows rather than with his hands. He swallows hard as Jimin pushes his sweaty hair back with one hand, never stopping the fluid roll of his hips fucking into Yoongi. Yoongi’s mind turns to white noise at the sight.
He goes to reach for Jimin and remembers he’s tied up. Yoongi notes he has no feeling in his arms but he doesn’t care, not when Jimin adjusts his stroke and fuck. His cock hits Yoongi just right, pressing against his prostate and Yoongi starts to babble.
This time, Jimin doesn’t tell Yoongi to shut up. He lets the slurred string of noises leave Yoongi’s mouth as Yoongi starts to go slack under Jimin, letting the pleasure drag him under. He feels lost in it, swimming in this feeling that ebbs and ebbs and ebbs until it’s a pulsing inferno that feels like it's going to corrode him from the inside out.
“Come on,” Jimin grunts, teeth clenched. “Come for me. Just like you know how to.”
Just like you know how to.
Suddenly, Yoongi is back to before.
When they were just Yoongi and Jimin, not meeting in this weekly cycle of endless misery that he has signed them up for.
When Jimin would catch Yoongi late at night, slipping in with his shadows to wake Yoongi up.
When Jimin would fuck Yoongi to desperation, sweaty chests pressed together and moving in the moonlight coming in from the window.
When Yoongi would come, cock pressed between the two of them, sticky and messy, and mouth tangled with Jimin, the slow push of Jimin’s cock making Yoongi insane.
Yoongi’s eyes flutter open. He wants to see Jimin. He knows he’s about to come, that fire inside of him ready to unleash. But he wants to see Jimin as he does it. As if that will make it better, this detached, feral thing that exists between them.
Jimin is a vision. He hovers over Yoongi, a being of shadow and light, stuck somewhere in between. He is so beautiful and impermanent. Yoongi only gets these moments in flashes, when their paths cross inevitably. When Jimin comes to find him, that one week of the year.
There is salt on Yoongi’s tongue when he comes with Jimin’s name shaped in his mouth. He realizes he’s crying. It’s not the first time, and it won’t be the last. Jimin doesn’t notice or doesn’t say anything, chasing his high with a furious snap of his hips and a snarl on his face.
Yoongi fades. His eyes roll back as he drifts somewhere else, letting Jimin use him for his orgasm. He hears him growl once, slamming into Yoongi so deep that it pulls him just a little from the dreamless, listless haze of his comedown.
At some point, he thinks he falls asleep. Or maybe something like sleep, because he vanishes from the room, but he feels Jimin pull out. Feels the wet gush of his hole, feels the afterburn of Jimin’s visit.
But when he opens his eyes, there’s no one there. There are no shadows, there is no Jimin. The illusion of being able to have anything with Jimin shatters. Yoongi knows it will keep shattering, a mirror broken in an endless cycle of misfortune.
Yoongi is left alone and waiting for Jimin’s next visit. For the next time that Jimin is dragged from where he lay flayed, only to exist in the samsara Yoongi has shackled him to.
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