TW Really messed up these last few days. I cleaned my house and felt good so my boyfriend treated me to dinner and then we had a great night and i felt so happy so i got french toast and fruit for breakfast. Then i tried to fast but then my friend wanted to drink i only had 2 glasses of wine and a few lines of c*ke which made me sick so i threw up. I kinda liked the feeling but id never be able to purge bc i live with my boyfriend... then in the early morning hours after i felt better i binged on A&W bugers bc my stomach felt hollow. Fasted all day at work with water and napped and now pizza... i also have binge eating disorder so sometimes I just really cant control myself im so sick of it.
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ok how do you think the marauders as dads would react to having to pick you up at a party (that they knew you went to) at like 2 am
maybe something went down and the party's over or some shit like that
i love this one.
james: he'd freak out, i'm not gonna lie. you'd call him, and the minute he hears hesitance or panic in your voice, he's out the door in nothing but his sweatpants. he would be alright with letting you go to the party, and he knew sirius would be waiting up for you, but hearing you upset would drive him mad. he'd get to the location fairly quickly, and his first question would be are you alright? he's very focused on how you are and what's going on. he'd stop at your favorite 24-hour fast food place and sit with you on the couch to let you relax. he'd make sure you were calm and not let you go to sleep without some amount of soothing.
sirius: he's very good at this, i think. he spent a lot of time partying in high school, so he knows what it's like when things go south. his first question would be over your location, nothing more. he does worry a lot, because he got into shit when he was younger, so while he supports you going out at night, he always has to meet at least one friend you're going with, and he stays up until you come home. he'd probably speed there and his focus would be on getting you in and out. after that, i think he'd drive around with you. he's not that emotional with you, but he'd drive in circles until you were calm, because he knew you'd panic over getting in trouble with james and remus. he wouldn't ask you questions beyond the basic ones, wanting to know what went wrong and if you were okay, but that comfortable silence is enough to help you regain composure.
remus: he's the last person you'd call. not because you didn't trust him, but because you didn't ever want to disappoint him like this. but it's 2 am and you're half-drunk, half-high, stranded on the side of the road—your safety was most important, and remus was the one to teach you that. his voice would be steady, and he'd keep you on the phone as he drove there. he didn't want you panicked or not aware of what's happening around you, so he makes sure you're grounded. the ride back would be him holding your hand, just for the part of him that was freaking out as well, and he's very good at physical comfort. he helps you explain what happened, if you're in any trouble, how much you had to drink. and when you got home, he'd just give you a really long hug. he wouldn't drain you of any more emotional energy, and he'd just hug you in the middle of the dark kitchen. he'd tell you to go shower, and in that time he'd set out warm clothes for you and make something small for the sake of your stomach. and then you'd just sit there, not turning any lights on, helping you regather yourself.
easy smiles — fighting back grins — suppressed laughter — loud laughter — giggles — chuckling — smirks — whole body laughs — covers mouth when laughing/giggling — throws head back when laughing — slaps leg — touches people around them when laughing — looks down when laughing — looks for eye contact when laughing — sparkling eyes — bubbly happiness — quiet subtle happiness — obnoxious happiness — wants to spread joy — quietly savors joy
crying — bottling it up — seeks distractions — wallows — meditates and processes — avoidance — seeks out comfort — withdraws — talks it out — internalizes it — sad smiles — depression naps — uses alcohol — uses drugs — seeks out sources of joy — fidgets with sentimental item — sits in silence — broods — gets moody — wants someone to share the misery — tries to hide negative emotions — nurtures others to make themselves feel better
blushing — looking away — rubbing at the back of their head — covering face — laughing nervously — laughs it off — overthinks — lets it go — self-deprecating humor — deflects — gets irritated — smiles — withdraws — crossing arms over stomach — crossing arms over chest — hands in pockets — shoulders sinking — shrugs — falling into silence until comfortable again — talking a lot to compensate
avoiding eye contact — shoulders sinking low — head hanging down — crying — chest aches — lashes out — internalizes — apologizes — deflects — communicates — withdraws — grand gestures for forgiveness — accepts fault easily — punishes themselves — martyrdom — victim complex — over-active guilt complex — healthy conscience — internalizes even after forgiveness — seeking redemption — moves on easily — denial — lack of guilt/conscience — sorry they got caught more than caused harm — can’t handle knowing they hurt others
what do they mean by it’s rooted in white supremacy like I don’t get it it’s not all about race it’s about sexuality and gender …. poc are not the only ones with slurs used against them that they can reclaim… lgbt people are called so many slurs even if they’re white and I think if your whole life u and your community were called these awful words.. u can say them?? what is the new thing next gonna be “don’t use slurs used against u just because your white” I’m done
honestly i don't wanna say those ppl have bad intentions but tintertwining race and LGBT issues (ON A BROAD SCALE, obviously there's exceptions where race may be involved) w2as f ucking mistakes honestly
sorr im high so there's typos but legitimately
i agree anon it doesn't matter if for ex a gay man is white, black, asian, latino, etc- if they get called a faggot, they ger to reclaim it
tumblr LGBTQIA)(!(R(IR or whatever the "haha funny alphabet fandom" acronym is now, that community is a mistake imo
it looks too much into things and pouts in issues that aren't related like.....
bruh you're drowing in an inch of water. stand up. look around. it aint that deep
I've been feeling bad for a while. Kinda like empty Tupperware clanging around in my brain cupboard, and then at night I get the spooks. Like nightmares, you know? And sometimes it's like some small thing happens and then my reaction is insane. Like my whole body goes rigid, like a plank of wood, and I want to lie under the bed. And also I really like drugs.
@undred / natasha : “ jokes on you, I’ve risen long ago. “
CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF, he didn’t intend for this. this intrusion. living in a shithole apartment complex such as this? it was bound to happen, sooner or later. the amount of times he’d heard the quite frankly disturbing noises of the loved up couple upstairs, or dogs barking below. and then there was his wannabe rockstar neighbour opposite, playing music at all hours of the evening. THERE WAS TOO MUCH NOISE ON THE REGULAR, aggravating his symbiote to no end. aggravating him. too much noise... too much stress. they needed to move. didn’t have the money to move. didn’t even have the money for this place, most weeks...
AND THIS MORNING PROVED IT. awoken with a jolt to angry landlord at the most ungodly morning hour, and their argument had bled out into the hall for everyone to bear witness. maybe, several years ago, he might’ve snapped. he might’ve gone looking for something to justify his slaughter. might’ve found he was a secret drug dealer, or had connections to terrorist cells. maybe he liked kiddie porn, or had literal skeletons inside his closet. maybe he’d still look. but the slaughter? eventually, the death caught up with you... the guilt. it was too much.
they found other ways. it was better. it was better, right?
by the time the old sleaze ball had stalked off, he was left with small audience, sleep deprived and confused, but most important of all, hungry for gossip. one by one, they all dissipated, until all that was left was his newest neighbour, to whom he couldn’t apologize enough. sorry for waking you, please, don’t think poorly of me, really, it’ll never happen again. but instead of anger, he was met with... understanding? maybe a little teasing?
... huh. “ right, right... the uh, security gig. ” hand came to scratch the back of his head, cheeks still flushed from the shouting. he forgot sometimes. up all kinds of weird hours. probably just got in. shit... shit. still, he wracked his brain, trying to think through the fog in his mind... think of something cool to say. ask how it was going. try to make some kind of half decent impression, and anxiety pooled in his stomach at the thought of saying... well... anything.
wait... no. no, that wasn’t anxiety, that was --------
WE ARE HUNGRY, EDDIE...
all at once, reality hit him like a tonne of bricks, his other’s comment reverberating through his skull. that... that wasn’t good. okay. okay, love. okay. shit. now, hand came to gingerly rub at his face instead, still groggy and disorientated from rude awakening. needed food. didn’t have to eat, just the two of them. “ hey, uh... well, in that case... you hungry? ”
"Joël just told me it was a girl who buys weed from me who backed her car into Joël's mother and broke her hip," says Damo.
"Okay," says Claudia. "But why-"
"What day did Kenzie run into your mother?" Damo asks Joël, his face ashen, tiny beads of sweat on his upper lip.
"Monday afternoon," says Joël.
"Shit," says Damo. "Sunday night she came over and bought some of that insane weed I was telling you about, the shit I've been getting from that dude who imports seeds from Shang Simla."
"The stuff that turns your brains to scrambled eggs?" says Joël.
"Yeah,"' says Damo. "Shit. I warned her it was intense. Far out, dude. I feel responsible. Do you think I'm to blame for what happened to your Mum?"
"Of course not, dude," says Joël. "If she didn't buy it from you she would have bought it from someone else. And anyway, it was her decision to get behind the wheel of a car. Nobody else's."
"Yeah, I guess," says Damo. "Still, I feel like shit. I haven't felt this guilty since Mia jumped my bones in that nightclub in The Islands."
"Hey, I remember Mia!" says Claudia. "She was going out with Dom, briefly. She was a trip! And then she left him to be with you, right?"
Joël gives a short nod, his face beginning to grow unpleasantly warm.
"Yeah, I remember because Dom lost the plot when he found out," Claudia says. "Woah. So she screwed you too, Damo? Oh my God. You guys are so fucking incestuous, seriously. Especially you and Dom, dude. First Megan, then Mia-”
"I'm going now," says Joël. "I'll catch you both later. Maybe."
He turns and walks out the door, leaving Claudia and Damo staring at each other.
--- it took him a long time to recover in the hospital. a long, long, long time, and too many surgeries to count. maybe he’d deserved what happened to him, part of his mind insisted. he’d been young and naive, to some degree, sure, but he was old enough to know better. he should not have been hooking up at all. he should have been focusing on his THESIS, but instead, he allowed PAX and OLI to talk him into some stupid fucking trip, which he did not want to embark on, and he’d been KILLED for it. as much as he missed his friends, right now, if they did show up, he wanted them to keep their distance. he wanted everyone to keep their distances, because... god, he felt so fucked up. at the same time that his head pounded with pain, he could feel his heels throb, too. “oh, god...” the young man whispered, as he clicked on the help button attached to his bed in the local hospital. as soon as the doctor or nurse showed up, JOSH cleared his throat, his expressive features revealing just how much he was hurting. “hey, i... um... i think that my PAIN MEDS are running out.” that was an understatement, he knew, but he did not want to come across as ungrateful. “do you... think that we can REFILL them? get another dose on board? i’m... really struggling.”
closed for @bcssbitchs and @igcttabe and @ragdclls and @shcpcrsistcd and @heavenbxrred
IMAO I feel like 99% of You Guys believe I do Cocaine before I come OnLine. Just Snorted a Line before I Cause Problems on the Internet. Make You all Angry at me as I sit there High off My Ass. Fuckers.
tw: illness mention, hospice mention, drug use mention, anxiety mention
Xavier was born in Chicago, Illinois.
His father disappeared from his life when the guy's first birthday rolled around, leaving his mother to care for him and keep the house afloat.
Due to this, Xavier learned from a young age how to care for himself. He was dicing and mincing veggies by age seven. It turned out that he ended up falling in love with cooking and often looked forward to having dinner ready for his mom to come home to.
Despite the long hours that she worked, his mother always did her best to spend time with him and be present in his life. Despite sometimes wishing she never had to go back to work, the guy understood everything she did for him and their little family at the end of the day.
Xavier always found ways to keep himself entertained at home. At first, his activities included things like reading books, graphic novels, comics, gaming, and photography. But, the older he got, the more adventurous his activities got. He ended up experimenting with drugs, discovering new music, preoccupying his mind with numerous curious thoughts and kept his passion for photography.
[tw: illness mention] Xavier was twelve when his mother began to fall ill more times than normal. It was just him caring for her for about four or five months, both in mystery as to what could be making her sick, but it soon got to the point that she needed to go into a hospital. The day they entered that hospital building was the day their lives changed forever. It was soon discovered his mother did not just have one illness but multiple underlying ones, which would make it difficult to care for herself in the upcoming years.
While she continued to go to work, the hours were much shorter. So Xavier began doing side jobs with family members or setting up ‘lawn-cutting businesses or ‘snow shoveling’ business throughout the appropriate seasons to bring in some extra income. It never bothered him; in fact, he was more than happy/proud to help his mother out. For him, it was all about making sure she didn’t have to work one day, and he could take care of her in the same way she took care of him.
He was eighteen when he was given the news that his mother would be needing to be taken into hospice. The decision to have it be at-home hospice care was easy; watching her slowly grow more ill as the days went by wasn't easy. Still, sometimes it seemed she was getting better.
Now at the age of twenty-seven years old and plenty of medical bills later, the two recently moved to Noosa, Australia. It was a little bit of a rough transition at first, but two months in, and the two are doing better here than they ever had in Chicago. His mother even seems happier, sometimes stepping out to enjoy the beautiful scenery. And Xavier got a job as a bartender, with a side gig as a casual drug dealer from time to time. He doesn’t particularly enjoy selling drugs, but it does help pay the bills.
Despite the hardships at home, Xavier always has the biggest of smiles on his face. He’s the kind of guy who likes to laugh and be around lively energy. A party is the perfect setting for him, as he loves getting lost in the feel-good feeling parties bring. He’ll wear glitter eyeliner, and he’ll wear it proudly. There really isn’t much the guy doesn’t enjoy doing to express himself and just live in the moment.
Song: Levitating - Dua Lipa ft:Da Baby
Mig: someone he became very close friends with in chicago. the two are like two peas in a pod. a ride or die, if you will. it’s been some time since he’s seen him, though, as xavier has horrible communication skills when he isn’t around people for a while. still, the guy looks forward to one day running into him again.