Why didn't you pt. 3
pt 1 pt 2
I think this series will involve a lot of ansgt sorryyy
i still havent watched eternals and now my country is in a lockdown so i cant see spiderman nwh, please no spoilers or i will cry myself to sleep but i did saw a few of them and omg it looks so good.
summary: Druig and Makkari don't know how to deal with the information that you gave to them. You feel them slipping away, but you don't have the emotional abbility to chase after them.
TW: Red Room, angst, little mental breakdown
You couldn't even explain yourself.
Instead they left.
The starry night was twinkeling, the bright stars were amused at your misery, or so you thought.
You were on your own again, alone.
Alone again.
Druig and Makkari they were confusing you, you three promised each other that you will always be there for each other, no matter what and now? Now your sitting on the porch alone, again.
You shouldn't have said her name, you shouldn't even be here.
It was all a mistake.
Your cheeks felt wet, a fact that you were crying.
How pathetic, you weren't raised to cry at every little thing.
''I'm sorry,'' you whispered to them, you didn't know for what.
That was in fact a lie.
Something that you were pretty good at.
You did know, you were sorry for keeping it secret, keeping her secret, keeping your past secret.
You wiped your tears away, putting on a mask.
You had to make it right to them, for the sake of your relationship. Although a little voice in your head accused them of her murder. But you were tired, so tired of being alone that you maked peace with the fact that a little piece of you would always accuse them.
You grinned to Druig and Makkari when you saw them in the living room, a signal that you weren't threatening, that's what you hoped for atleast.
They ignored you.
Your grin faltered and turned into a frown. Turning your gaze away you quickly maked your way to the kitchen, suddenly feeling left out.
You sat in the kitchen for God knows how long, with an empty teacup in your hand.
Nobody checked up onto you, not even a quick check-up from Makkari.
The dynamic between you and the Eternals was changed, it felt stiff and tense. You easily saw when everyone shared glances with eachother in the livingroom. Druig and Makkari probably told them.
A pang of betrayal crept up into your heart.
Silence.
For the last two hours the livingroom was silent, the Eternals were probably sleeping. Did they even sleep?
Another hour went by.
You did also know the other reason for why you were sorry.
They would soon found out and deep inside of you you hoped that they had regret.
It's what they deserved at least.
It was toxic the way you thought, but you really thought it was the truth. They were in a way responsible for your sisters death and now they had the audicity to ignore you? To walk away after you wanted to explain? When you wanted to open your heart?
How dare they?
You shook your head and with a bang you slammed the teacup on the counter.
Empty.
The livingroom was empty, a sigh of relieve escaped your body and you maked your way to the bathroom were a large mirror hung.
Lips that trembled, make-up smeared and hair a mess from tugging at.
Your forehead touched the mirror in shame and a soft sob that turned into a quiet wail was enchoing in the bathroom. You closed your eyes and let sadness consume you.
The next morning was exactly the same, nobody acknowledged you. They looked at you like you were a crazy animal, someone that needed to be handled carefully, someone that couldn't be trusted.
You couldn't trust them either.
Druig and Makkari they were still ignoring you, they had the same glance into their eyes as the other Eternals. You walked to them and disrupted their conversation, An anger that you never felt licked at your belly that wanted to escape your throat.
"Why are you ignoring me, huh?" It sounded aggressive and hurt, but you couldn't care.
"You're a monster, that's why," Druig said codly and Makkari backed him up.
A flash of hurt and shock crossed your face that you quickly wiped away. You couldn't show them your weakness, you crossed your arms and lowly said:
"Funny Druig that you are the one saying this, but I´m not the one who's mind controlling people."
It was a low blow, sure but the thing that Druig said was too, with that you turned on your heel and went outside the rest of the day.
Day turned into evening and even though they hurt by you, blindsided by you they couldn't help but to worry.
But when the stars came out of their hiding again, you showed up. Eyes heavy and and empty face.
"I'm going to bed," you mumbled to nobody in particular.
Laying in the bed that the three of you shared you thought, a lot.
They thought you were a monster.
You weren't a monster, right?
Right?
No of course you weren't, most of the time you were training for the next ballet competition.
But what about the school bombing, Y/N?
Killing little children, that isn't so innocent hmm?
"Молчи!" (shut up!), you throw a pillow in frustration against the door.
They were slipping away and to be honest you didn't want to chase them anymore. This day and the other evening you tried, you tried so hard to make them talk. But if they truely thought you were a disgusting piece of shit, why would you even try.
Embarrassed of your outburst you picked up the pillow.
You were sorry for the next thing you were going to do. Stuffing your things into your backpack you laid on the bed again, waiting for Druig and Makkari.
Killing your time you watched photo's of the five of you. Dad took a photo of you, mom, Natasha and Yelena building a sand castle. A photo of Natasha on the back of dad and a photo that Yelena had maked in the lake while you were behind almost drowning. You wiped away a tear. You had more photo's on your phone but you quickly put it away and pretented to sleep after hearing footsteps on the stairs.
Light shone into the bedroom and you even your breath. The soft footsteps of Druig and Makkari on the wooden floor filled your ears, they whispered soflty to eachother. You didn't hear what.
Probably about you.
A few minutes went by and you felt a warm presence near you, Makkari. You didn't notice the longing gaze that bored in your back.
In the last two years, or was it technically seven? You never felt so alone that you did now.
Alone again.
You waited another hour, making sure that they were asleep and sure they did. Druig swore on his life that he never swore, but he certainly did.
Stepping out of bed you picked the backpack underneath it and swung it around your shoulders. You bend forover and gave the last cheek kisses to Makkari and Druig. Makkari stirred and you held your breath.
Please don't wake up.
She didn't thankfully.
You walked to the bathroom and flushed the toilet, if Druig or Makkari waked up they thought you were going to the toilet.
Instead you walked downstairs and shutted the door behind you.
It was probably for the best.
Makkari's hand softly patted the empty spot next to her. Her eyes wide when she didn't found you instead, but you had a habit to waking up in the middle of the night so she assumed that you were to the wc. She closed her eyes again and sleep took her over.
Hours later and she was abrupt waken to Druig.
"Y/N is gone, she left I think," he signed in panic.
Oh no.
Taglist: @lcvelyth @xoxoloverb @thesecretanimewriter @ghostchild30 @uwiuwi
Comments are really appreciated.
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