#dude i feel like i'm third wheeling

[astonmartinii]

reluctant cupid | lando norris social media au

pairing: lando norris x fem bff!reader

you could set your bestie up with a driver or you could confess your feelings? lando norris is dumb.

based on this request: Could you write something about being best friends with lando and he tries to help set you up with another driver you have a crush on, but then he realises he actually likes you so he has to sabotage all the wingmanning he’s done and you end up together Idk if that makes sense 😭🫶🏼🫶🏼 -@mbappesleftthigh

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

yourusername

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 49,340 others

yourusername: someone please save me from the grips of hinge and this oh so lonesome life

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user1: girl knows the whole f1 paddock and looks like that and is still alone there is NO HOPE for me

user2: this post might have thrown me over the edge

landonorris: "i'm so lonely" "why don't you approach that guy" "no too scary"

user3: that's so real though

yourusername: thank you!

landonorris: how do you expect to find a boyfriend when you don't like to talk to anyone and treat hinge like a gameshow

yourusername: i didn't come here for actual advice let me commiserate in peace. god, can women have anything these days?

landonorris: ???

yourusername: oh! idea! pretty please set me up with one of your friends? they have to be great otherwise you wouldn't be friends with them, right? RIGHT?

landonorris: i guess...

yourusername: please lando, i've never asked for anything before

landonorris: i can feel you pouting through the phone

yourusername: so you'll consider ?

landonorris: fine...

user4: bro either gotta admit his feelings now or be condemned to be in the plot of a weird romantic comedy

user5: i personally don't think i can wait until the third act break up with this side character LANDO ACT NOW

oscarpiastri: you'd really trust lando's judgement?

yourusername: he's friends with me, he's got good taste?

oscarpiastri: touche

maxverstappen1: whatever you really wanna say oscar, you gotta keep it in, these idiots will figure it out eventually

yourusername: ???

landonorris: ???

user6: the grid are so done with their asses i can't 😭

user7: but what if the universe doesn't intervene and lando really has just lost the girl forever?

user8: bestie we can't be thinking like this

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 812,047 others

tagged: yourusername

landonorris: being back home means being bothered by her (and whatever is her newest hyperfixation - it's sylvanian families this month if you couldn't tell)

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user9: i am so sorry but they are so in love

user10: it's cute in the movies, but these blind bitches are starting to piss me off

yourusername: THEY CAN HEAR YOU, BE A BETTER DAD

landonorris: they're not my children

yourusername: you take that back right now, you LOVE them

landonorris: you spent my money on them yes

yourusername: that's fatherhood, buddy. buckle up

user11: whoever he sets her up (if he's still dumb enough to do that) is gonna be the biggest third wheel in history

user12: who would willingly sign up for that

user13: me. i would. i have two working eyes and have seen y/n

maxverstappen1: who are these funky little critters and how can i procure some for p?

yourusername: finally a man with sense, literally any grocery store or toy store

maxverstappen1: perf

yourusername: if lando stops being mr. grumpy i'll ask him if i can come to a race and p and i can play animal families

landonorris: i am NOT mr. grumpy

maxverstappen1: you kinda are dude. is it the set-up is it stressing you out?

landonorris: nO

yourusername: then why are you putting it off !!! lando i might die from terminal yearning !!!

landonorris: i have an interested candidate

yourusername: really? do you think they'll actually like me? like this isn't a pity date right?

landonorris: nope!

user14: lando is typing through tears as we speak

user15: if y/n does go on a date with someone from the paddock i actually hope it goes well, as one lonely girl to another, it's tough out here we need one win

f1wagupdates

liked by user18, user19 and 11,043 others

tagged: yourusername & carlossainz55

f1wagupdates: turns out lando is a bit of a cupid as his childhood friend y/n y/ln was spotted out and about with carlos sainz.

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user20: HE ACTUALLY DID IT

user21: that moment when you're so down bad for a girl that you set her up with your best friend

user22: that moment when you're such a wimp you can't admit your feelings and set up the girl you like with a literal GREEK GOD

user23: i am so bamboozled by this move he literally looked like a kicked puppy on his stream bro this is your doing 😭

user24: she's a lover girl she's going to get her heart broken :(

user25: this has mess written all over it

user26: she's literally described herself as a terminal yearner i feel like she'll throw herself in and will get hurt

user27: UNLESS! this is all part of the plan? what if lando set her up with a messy guy like carlos so he can be the shoulder to cry on and that's how he slides in?

user28: that's very convoluted, very rom-com but i'll take it if it means we get lando and y/n together in the end

user29: i know this probably won't last long but can we all appreciate how hot this couple is?

user30: lando and y/n runs rings round y/n and carlos

user31: lol lando is a bad friend for setting her up with CARLOS him and charles are THEE red flags

user32: i hope y/n is prepared

user33: also lando hasn't thought it fully out if his plan is to be the shoulder to cry on because he's just opening her up to be called a homie hopper or a paddock bunny

carlossainz55

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly and 702,554 others

carlossainz55: productive weekend with my girl

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user34: well that's not y/n

user35: that finished faster than i expected

user36: lando DO NOT quit your day job

landonorris: call me bro

carlossainz55: si, cabron

user37: i don't think they'll be cabrons after this call

user38: maybe this is all just going to plan?

user39: yall gotta give up this conspiracy theory maybe these people are just as dumb and mean as they seem to be

user40: soooooo... what did we all do this weeekend?

user41: i broke a girl's heart @carlossainz55 twins 👯‍♂️

user42: AHHHH???

maxverstappen1: oh that's not-

yourusername: you're so chronically online :(

maxverstappen1: you're alive?

yourusername: yes. coming at you live from the bed i'm currently rotting in

maxverstappen1: not going to say i didn't warn you?

carlossainz55: really? in my own comment section?

yourusername: one second, we're having a conversation here

maxverstappen1: yeah carlos, gosh.

carlossainz55: i'm so confused

user43: okay power move to just start a conversation in his comments?

user44: the power of confusion is simply unmatched

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 56,309 others

yourusername: certified boy hater

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user45: a ferrari boy will do that to you

landonorris: feeling hashtag victimised rn

yourusername: obviously doesn't include you girlypop. but you seriously need to reevaluate your judgement

landonorris: carlos is attractive?

yourusername: he ghosted me?

carlossainz55: i am right here

yourusername: blocked.

landonorris: did you actually just block him?

yourusername: yes 😀 !

landonorris: god this is a nightmare

yourusername: not if you'd take a GOD DAMN HINT

landonorris: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

user46: yall this is a public instagram comment section

user47: don't say that, this is their argument in the rain moment

user48: lemme grab the popcorn 🍿

maxverstappen1: this better not include the real number one girlypop here

yourusername: of course not pookie

oscarpiastri: you gonna continue the lil spat above this?

yourusername: no?

oscarpiastri: well some people (max and i) would like to listen so please continue

yourusername: no, i don't think i will

oscarpiastri: GOD YOU PEOPLE ARE INSUFFERABLE

maxverstappen1: what oscar said

user49: oscar and max are so real

user50: they can't leave us on this cliff hanger

landonorris

liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 1,043,788 others

landonorris: some snaps from '23

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user51: have we just been thirst trapped?

user52: i don't think it was intended for us

user53: this has "i am hotter than carlos sainz" written all over it

yourusername: posting tits on main, brave.

landonorris: i came second in singapore.

yourusername: sureeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. modesty, ever heard of it lan?

landonorris: slutshaming isn't cute y/n

yourusername: you kinda have to pull to be a slut lan. you are under qualified for the position

landonorris: if you keep being mean to me i will call your mum or my mum.

yourusername: try it. i see cisca more than you, i have faith in her

landonorris: the line is busy. are you on the phone to MY mum right now?

yourusername: maybe.

user54: we're so close to them getting their heads out of their asses

user55: don't get my hopes up

danielricciardo: i hope this works lol

landonorris: you don't think i'm sexy?

danielricciardo: it doesn't matter what i think

landonorris: i'm not sexy :(

danielricciardo: you're baiting me but yes, you are sexy.

user56: i'll fight anyone who made this man believe he's not beautiful

liked by yourusername

user57: I SAW THAT 📸

user58: someone just lock them in a cupboard at this point

oscarpiastri: noted.

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 89,034 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername: yeah, yeah. you can stop yelling at us now.

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user61: LET'S FUCKING GO

user62: it was worth all that yelling. i expect an invite to the wedding now.

user63: wedding? girly they only just realised their feelings after a DECADE

maxverstappen1: it was about fucking time

yourusername: okay miss ma'am. some people are EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE AND NOT VERY GOOD AT PROCESSING THEM

maxverstappen1: you must've been emotionally constipated because this was painful

yourusername: it was painful for me too

maxverstappen1: so painful that you dated CARLOS

yourusername: one date! ONE!

maxverstappen1: carlos said can you unblock him so he can be mean to me?

yourusername: fine.

carlossainz55: STOP MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A BAD PERSON. YES I AM NOT THE BEST AT RELATIONSHIPS BUT LEAVE ME BE

maxverstappen1: lol

yourusername: lol

user64: unblocking carlos to hit him with the lol max and y/n might be more iconic than lando and y/n

landonorris: not on our relationship announcement post 🤨

user65: OOP.

landonorris: i love you doofus

yourusername: i love you too muppet

landonorris: how much was the betting pool for your family?

yourusername: it got to over £300

landonorris: ours was £750

yourusername: are we dumb?

landonorris: no!

oscarpiastri: two dumbass girls saying 'yass' to each other

yourusername: LEAVE US BE

landonorris: oscar :(

user66: not their own families betting on when they'd get together 😭

landonorris

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,430,778 others

tagged: yourusername

landonorris: first win, hopefully not my only one.

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user67: MY BABIES

user68: i feel like i've been on this journey with them

oscarpiastri: thank god you guys got your shit together, i was THIS close to jumping out the nearest window if i had to watch lando mope around like a kicked puppy when y/n had the lil thing with carlos

user69: so it wasn't some grand plan?

oscarpiastri: no he's just dumb enough to actually set up his first love with his best friend

landonorris: OSCAR!

oscarpiastri: am i wrong?

landonorris: no... but! i got there in the end

oscarpiastri: good thing you're faster on track

user70: the grid being just as done with them as us is killing me

maxfewtrell: finally this unnecessarily long and overly convoluted saga has come to and end, lets never do this again!

landonorris: i'm locked in for life bro no worries

yourusername: awwwwwwwwwwwwww i love you too bubs

maxfewtrell: stop being sappy under my comment

yourusername: you just complained we didn't sort out our shit fast enough and now we're too sappy?

landonorris: STICK TO A STORY BOZO

maxfewtrell: now you're even more ride or die... can we go back?

yourusername: nope!

landonorris: nope!

maxverstappen1: i for one am very happy for you both

yourusername: thank you max !!

landonorris: not so fast, he had the biggest bet on us in the paddock

yourusername: get that bag sis

landonorris: ???

yourusername: we can't fight it anymore, let them have their jokes, we actually have each other now :)

landonorris: yes we do :) xx

user71: golly gosh this is so fucking cute

fin.

note: i hope this is what you were looking for and that you all enjoyed!! i'm just waiting on my tester sticker sheets for my small business @badlydrawnf1cats on here and on instagram, if you wanna give it a follow x tHANK YOU FOR READING MY LOVES X

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 x you #f1 instagram au #f1 #f1 social media au #lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #lando norris insta au #lando norris x you #lando norris instagram edit

[morganitering]

Because I'm the Weakest

Pairing: yandere!Satosugu x fem!reader

Warnings: Rape/non-con, Dead dove, darkfic, dissociation, trauma, rape fantasy, rape aftermath, vomiting (not during sex), unhealthy relationships, non-consensual drug usage, drugged sex, canon typical violence, sexism, implied/referenced alcohol usage/abuse

Contains: F/M/M, spitroasting, oral sex, penis in vagina sex, blow jobs, face-sitting, come play, overstimulation, voyeurism, slight size kink, humiliation/degradation, vaginal fingering, mentioned Nanami.

Word count: ~6,5k

Summary: Growing up as a female sorcerer has not been easy, especially when you are overshadowed by two prodigies. You used to form a tight-knit friend group, but now in adulthood everyone battled their own demons whether it be a god complex or feelings of inferiority. Gojo Satoru revives a group chat that was almost long forgotten, inviting you and his boyfriend for a long weekend, just like the old days. Before the regrettable night, you wouldn't have ever thought that you'd need to raise a fist against a friend.

A/N: Hey everyone, another fic but this time featuring our two favorite dudes with insanity turned to the max. This fic is once again full of warnings and proceed with caution and read the tags! Remember to take care of yourself. Otherwise enjoy and feel free to like and comment <3

read on ao3 PART II

“Booring,” Satoru complained audibly as he looked through the streaming services’ different movies and series. The little icons changed from bombshell babes to twisted faces with titles written in blood. He was sprawled over the corner of a ridiculously huge couch and he was wiggling his foot as a nervous tick of his. He wasn’t wearing his usual garb, instead he had opted for something more relaxed and comfortable.

“If you’re so bored you should help us out in the kitchen,” Suguru sighed, his black hair draping over his shoulders, still slightly wet from the shower he had taken earlier. When you had pointed out that he was leaving droplets of water everywhere where he went, Suguru had just smiled at you and told you that it’s better for hair to air dry.

He held a knife in his right hand and the other one held onto a cucumber to keep it in place. His fingers were slender but by no means unmanly. Suguru wasn’t too fixated on the vegetable in front of him, chopping away with confidence only experience would provide.

“And where would the fun be in that since I got you two as my private chefs?” Satoru pouted as he shoveled candy in his face.

“You’re going to lose your appetite, if you eat candy now,” you chimed in, poking the halloumi that kept on sizzling on the pan. The water evaporated in a mist that warmed your cheeks in the cool apartment. It wasn’t actually cold in the open plan kitchen, but you had spent long enough in front of the appliances to break a sweat.

“I’d eat it anyway,” the white haired man whined as he got up from the couch finally settling on a tv series that started playing mindlessly in the background. “So, what am I supposed to do?” He asked after grabbing a piece of pomegranate from a small see through bowl. He walked behind you both like a shark, eyeing the ingredients and you, uncomfortably close.

“Set the table and learn to bitch less,” you joked.

“You wound me,” Satoru said, feigning sadness, but did as he was told.

The three of you were residing in an apartment that Satoru had bought himself from one of the skyscrapers surrounding Tokyo. After Jujutsu High it had gotten increasingly hard for the three of you to meet as adult responsibilities weighed heavily on both of their shoulders, – especially Satoru’s, but you saw the similar pain carried in Suguru just as well.

You were not weak, but you could not compare to the two prodigies. On the days when you felt down, the pain of third wheeling constantly ate you up, sometimes so much so that you rather left the two men talking together in the group chat. It furthered the wedge between you and them, until the messages became sparse and you almost could pretend not to know them.

It had been six months since the last time you met, but one day Satoru broke the silence and a notification popped up from your shared chat. It had taken you by a surprise, you were vaguely aware that even him and Suguru had issues with fitting each other in their lives, due to individual missions and what not. So the fact that Satoru decided to deliberately send a message to you as well, got you anxiously excited. He reached out to you. You. A high school friend that barely kept in touch with him.

“Guys! I refuse to work this weekend so come to my place. Let’s have a get together like the good old times ❤️ ❤️?? A little sleepover if you will!”

“Lol what about the higher ups?” Suguru had asked, typing back way too fast.

“Actually never mind I don’t want to be made into an accomplice in your crimes,” Suguru had continued.

“Am I invited too?” You had asked, hands shaking slightly as you stared at the bright screen, already tucked into bed. It was late, but Satoru was a known night owl.

“Damn, what have I done to earn this type of reputation 😭” Satoru complained, reacting to both your and Suguru’s message. You could hear his voice as if he was there in the same room as you.

“Of course you are invited, silly. I wouldn’t send this here if you weren’t.”

So now you were there, living an almost ridiculously domestic life with the couple that you had been hanging out with ever since you were sixteen. They had not changed too much. They were still both tall and slender but years had rid them of the rest of the baby fat as they started to resemble more men than boys, vigorous fighting showing in their bodies in an ever gained muscle mass. You supposed you were the same too. Battle hardened. That’s the word you were looking for.

You were just about to sit down but you saw long limbs reaching out to the white chair pulling it backwards. You looked at Satoru with a raised eyebrow. He was acting weird.

“What? I’m a host. I’m being hospitable,” he said, voice melodic as he pressed his hand on your shoulder to pet your arm reassuringly a few times. Suguru laughed quietly as he sat down next to Satoru.

You ate and drank, buzzing with energy. It was like no time had passed and you wondered why did you ever stop talking to these two. After a drink or two you were brave enough to ask for some hot gossip. Like every high school friend, you went through old drama, like how ugly Nanami’s haircut used to be.

“Has Nanami found love yet?” You had asked. He seemed like the type to find a decent relationship first out of all of you, but to everyone’s surprise it was these two men.

“Do you still have a crush on him? I heard that he’s quite a looker nowadays” Suguru bounced a question back at you with a smile tugging on his lips. It was that one expression that looked a tad too kind.

“No, I don’t. I was just curious,” you tried to move on from the subject. You did not really discuss your relationship history with these two, at least not anymore.

“Why?” Suguru asked, leaning on the hand he had placed on the table. The atmosphere felt off, it was as if he was challenging you. You looked at Satoru who seemed to be equally as interested in your answer.

You scratched your neck awkwardly.

“I- I think he’s too soft,” you said blushing at the implication of your words. You had turned your gaze to your almost empty bowl, your mind going to improper places. As you were buried in your embarrassment, Satoru and Suguru shared a silent look with each other.

At some point during the evening you had moved to the white haired man’s bedroom. He wanted to show you the view from the window since he lived on the 30th floor. It was magnificent. The busy streets were bustling even during the night and you stared at the small lights that blinked in different colors. Your eyes followed the cars that swerved left and right as some people were gathered up in front of bars for a smoke break. You barely could make them out from the height you were in.

Satoru’s bedroom was basically the size of someone’s apartment. The bed was huge and sleek, unlike the common area. This room was a lot moodier and darker and it actually showed that he lived here, small bits and bobs decorating shelves and few paintings were hung up on the wall that you reckoned were Suguru’s taste.

Your drinks had changed from light cocktails to expensive red wine that you were almost scared to consume, but when Satoru saw hesitation in you he made a point to assure you that it’s all on him and after that almost instantaneously Suguru asked you something, leaving you no room to overthink.

The uneasiness still followed you. It was a gut feeling that you were really bad at listening to. You did not believe you were in danger – at least you’d like to think that as a jujutsu sorcerer you’d be trained to recognize threats by now. Luckily the red wine relaxed you, lulling you to the feeling of safety.

The volume of music was loud as the three of you listened to some throwback songs that still made you shamelessly want to dance. You were celebrating embarrassingly in Satoru’s room laughing, swaying your bodies along with the beat. It was as if you were in a club, except this was way more intimate. The world spinned around you, the warm lights mixed with the glimpses of the night sky and the longer outlines of your friends. You felt light, time slowing down and going overspeed at the same time as if you were alone on the highway. Your friends’ smiles stretched on their faces, eyes twinkling manically as both of the men appeared to you in double. Eventually when you tired each other out the whole group collapsed on the bed still humming happily. Satoru’s bed was plush and big enough to have room for the three of you.

You noted the way the silk felt like a warm hug underneath you, the ceiling moving like a slithering snake’s skin on savannah.

Satoru was lying on his back on the left side of you, his white hair now more tousled than before whereas Suguru was on the right leaving you in the middle of the two men.

“I think we should play a question game,” Satoru’s voice was bordering on a whisper. The music had stopped.

You stayed silent. “Satoru, I’m not feeling too good,” you managed to say. The bed was a ship and you were a passenger of the sea.

“I didn’t know you’re that lightweight,” Satoru’s hand reached out to your head to pet you, the gesture meant to lower your guards, but in your ever increasing discomfort, his touch only managed to make your skin tingle with aversion.

“Just humor us for a bit, it could be like the good old days, right?” Suguru argued, flashing a dead smile at you.

“Okay, whatever. Ask me something,” you rolled your eyes, too tired to fight them in your weird mental and physical stage.

“Hmm,” Satoru turned to his side to face you, his blue gaze piercing yours as you were still laying on your back. You had no idea when he had removed his sunglasses. You heard Suguru moving next to you as well. “What do you mean by Nanami being too soft?” The way Satoru laid down the question was impish.

The tone of the conversation had taken a full one-eighty and you opened your mouth to answer with only lies on the tip of your tongue, but then you decided against that. Those two had a very good bullshit radar.

“Do you want to hear what I think?” Satoru grinned playfully as he licked his plump lips once.

“I think Nanami would bore you out of your mind, missionary on Mondays without the lights on? Ugh, I wouldn’t want that for my worst enemy,” he said, laughter hollow full of malice. You couldn’t believe your own ears.

“I think you want it rough and behind that tough girl act, there’s an insatiable woman with some wild fantasies,” he blabbered his obscene thoughts. “Tell me, have you ever had sex with two men?” Gojo’s voice was loud and it was as if he was talking to you from a speaker that had been locked in another room. He was too close, too far away and simultaneously too here.

“What the-” you got cut off.

“Don’t curse. It’s unseemly from a woman,” Geto said calmly.

“Answer me,” Gojo demanded. During high school you would have described Gojo’s eyes as a beautiful spring day. You would have said that he reminded you of blue skies with perfectly white fluffy clouds, but now his eyes had turned to something much paler and darker. They reminded you of deep untouched snow drifts turned to blue in the moonlight as they sparkled ominously, waiting for the first little animal that dared to break the pristine condition.

“What did you do to me?” Your voice was not your own, it was weak, the accusation of your words turning dull as the red wine you had drank earlier sanded the edges away.

“Nothing permanent,” Geto said.

His admittance striked terror in you. Realization hit you, you were not safe here and you felt the familiar warmth flowing in you like a second nature. You manipulated the cursed energy, channeled it and let it flow steadily in your body guiding the power to your hands, but something in it felt unstable, it felt like a chord that was almost broken just barely connecting.

“Did you know that some drugs really affect the ability to use cursed energy? Not that it would matter in your case,” Geto explained, his voice overflowing around you, sticking to your skin like honey.

“Fuck you!” You yelled letting out a gust of wind to both sides, throwing the two men away from you. They landed nimbly to the floor, like cats, as you yourself hopped up from the bed, your vision blurred, walls moving back and forth, small figurines on the shelves changing color others dancing in front of your eye lids. Your head ached, pain banging against your skull, gnawing at the nerve endings that sent panic infused messages across your body, screaming: Stop moving!

“Oh so you want to spar? Go on then, show me what you have,” Geto purred.

It was a pathetic attempt in your current state. Your feet took you towards the door that Geto had come to protect. Hands and feet clashed together in close combat as you drew your cursed energy that was flickering unevenly in your body. Every time you got too close to escaping either Geto or Gojo kicked you further away.

The white haired bastard wasn’t even using his infinity which only added salt to your wounds. He deliberately chose to prance around you, letting you at times touch him a wild smile on his face. There was no cursed energy, no flashy techniques, just you and two overpowered men.

“Do you remember what they said in school when facing someone stronger than you?” Gojo asked, dodging your fist.

“Don’t be a hero,” Geto grabbed your arm and twisted it painfully behind you. “Contact someone better equipped to handle it,” he said and shoved you forwards with a force so great that you staggered towards Gojo’s table with the MacBook wobbling with force earning a “Hey, that’s my computer!” protest from the man himself.

The lights went out with a sound of shattering glass, leaving the three of you enveloped in the darkness, only city lights illuminating the room. Disorientated by the sudden change in environment you froze, breathing heavily as the two men practically surrounded you. Gojo appeared in front of you not a hair out of place.

“And with that, you’re dead. You really should not get distracted during training,” the white haired man shared his advice talking to you with the same tone he used on his pupils. “Truce?” He offered his hand.

You looked up. There was something sinister about the way they hovered over you. Geto’s beautiful prince-like features had turned harsh and angular, the shadows sharpening his face even more. You swallowed a bunch of bile, the effects of forcing yourself to move taking place.

“The power disparity is too big,” Geto said. He almost pitied you. You were a smart girl, you’d figure the best move soon.

You grabbed the hand bitterly. Gojo helped you up and Geto wrapped his arm around your waist when you were about to fall again.

“Careful,” he mumbled, his hand trailing underneath your shirt. His touch felt cold against your burning skin that was damp from sweat. “We wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself,” he taunted.

“Take her shirt off. I’ve waited long enough,” Gojo said impatiently, tapping his foot on the floor.

“Always so demanding,” Geto chuckled as he worked your shirt up, unclasping your bra unceremoniously, your breasts now free for the two men to ogle.

“Perfect tits,” Gojo said as he pawed at you and played with your nipples. You were completely overwhelmed and out of energy. Luckily, you did not have to stand on your own as Geto helped you to stay up his hands unzipping your jeans.

“Why me?” You squeaked your head drooping in defeat as you looked at Geto’s hand that vanished underneath your panties, your trousers still on you. Your question went unanswered.

“Satoru I think you might have been right about your theory,” You felt Geto’s smile on your neck as he referenced the earlier conversation regarding Nanami.

“Really? Is she wet?” Gojo asked curiously.

“Soaking,” Geto said as he explored your soft folds with ease. “Did fighting us make you feel better about what’s going to happen? At least you can tell your friends that you did not break easy,” Geto mumbled onto your skin pressing kisses to your neck, his hand still working on you going up and down tantalizing on your slit.

Gojo dropped to his knees pulling down the rest of your clothes. A whimper left your mouth as you shook your head powerlessly.

“Lift her leg up,” Gojo instructed. Geto slid his hand behind your right knee, lifting it up till you were wobbling on one foot as you leaned on him for support. The white haired man had his lips slightly apart as he looked in awe at the sight unfolding in front of him. His mouth was watering as Geto maneuvered his hand back to your folds, spreading them in front of Gojo’s face so that his boyfriend could take a long hard look at everything you were offering.

You saw the gears turning in Gojo’s head as his expression turned to a mischievous one. “I want her to sit on my face,” he licked his lips and made his way to the bed, throwing the shirt on the floor.

“Can you move?” Geto asked as he let go of your leg, holding onto your trembling body. He tipped your head towards him, his face looking almost worried. It reminded you of the old times, but this was not the old Suguru. This was someone new. Twisted.

He helped you to the bed, where Gojo had been waiting, completely naked, his chest heaving in anticipation. Your eyes scanned him from head to toe, stopping at his cock that had already started to curve upwards. It already looked big, bigger than anything you had ever taken.

“Like what you see baby? Cause me too,” Gojo said jokingly. “Well, come here then or do you want to fuck us dry? Because I’m fine with that,” he hurried you, the threat looming over you.

You climbed on top of him, saddling his face. Gojo’s hands immediately grabbed at your ass, pulling you towards his mouth. You could imagine the pink tip of his tongue trying out where you were the most sensitive. He was too impatient to tease you, quickly finding the bundle of nerves that was begging for his attention. He lapped at it as obscenely wet noises filled the room. Gojo sucked on your clit and you moaned loudly, throwing your head back, a sheen layer of sweat on you.

You felt him hum into your cunt as you felt the weight shift behind you on the mattress, Geto’s hand moving on Satoru’s length, pumping it roughly.

“You see, Satoru here is a bit of a munch. He is loud during the day, but put a cock in his mouth and it works wonders at silencing him. Apparently he likes the taste of pussy too,” Geto said with a devious smile on his lips. Gojo groaned animalistically into your wet heat as the black haired man felt his own hardness straining against his boxers. It took everything in his power to not to take off his clothes and fuck you till you were cock drunk and babbling incoherently, but he had too much fun playing with you.

“How does it feel like having the strongest sorcerer lapping you up like a regular man?” Geto’s voice was just a hush in your ear. “Men and women around the globe are going to be jealous when they hear that Gojo Satoru wanted to stick his dick in you,” Geto taunted you both as his hand focused on rotating around Satoru’s tip, spreading out the drops of precome around his cock. Satoru bucked his hips up involuntarily.

You came. Hard. You thrashed around Gojo’s head as the man between your legs held onto you stubbornly, licking and sucking through your orgasm. You felt something warm trickling straight to his face as the pressure in the lower half of your body exploded. Your voice was high pitched and desperate as you rode his face till you were sore, your already weak legs giving out.

Gojo pushed you off of him, gasping for air, pupils blown out in arousal. His face glistened in your juices and his saliva.

“You know what, for a man who’s shaming me for being talkative, you sure speak a lot yourself Suguru,” he pointed out. Suguru laughed, honest to god laughed, his eyes squinting contently as Satoru pulled him into a kiss.

There was something incredibly erotic watching the two men, knowing that Geto would taste the remnants of you as their lips smacked together messily. Their bodies tangled together, black hair flowing around white as Gojo buried his hand in Geto’s luscious strands. Gojo pulled his boyfriend’s face up gently exposing the bobbing Adam's apple that he kissed reverently. It was now Geto’s turn to saddle Gojo.

“I think you need to take your clothes off. Give her a little show,” Satoru said, biting into the skin on Suguru’s clavicle as his hands fumbled with the black haired man’s belt that opened with a clink.

Geto pulled his black t-shirt over his head, his taut muscles flexing. It felt like forever when Gojo caressed the man on top of him, his face in a constant grin. He took down the boxers inch by inch until Geto’s cock sprang out after being suppressed inside his clothes for too long.

“Get on fours,” Gojo ordered as you clumsily did what he told you to. He moved behind you whereas Geto took place in front of you.

“Arch your back.”

You stretched yourself, lowering your torso and propping your butt up almost as if you were offering yourself on a silver platter. Gojo’s hand came down to your ass with force making your body jerk when he dug his nails on the soft skin.

“Wow, you must fuck a lot of dudes judging by how low you can go. If I knew you were a whore, I would have bent you over earlier,” he laughed, his finger prodding on your entrance.

Geto pulled you from your hair. It wasn’t the nice kind of pain that came when one would grab them near the scalp; instead it stung like hell, when Geto yanked your head up, putting you on the perfect level of his cock.

Gojo inserted one finger simultaneously inside you and almost immediately added another. You whined as his fingers scissored you open, your lips almost touching the head of Geto.

“You know, I get to lie with this amazing man every day. Show him the same respect as I do,” Gojo said. Had you not been caught up in their fucked up power play, their love for each other would have truly warmed your heart.

Geto’s thumb stroked your cheek as if to apologize for what was about to happen. He let his hand trail down to your bottom lip, swiping across it gently.

“Open.”

Satoru pushed his hand almost knuckles deep into you, a guttural moan making its escape from your lips as he used his hand to finger fuck you. Geto used your opening mouth to his advantage to stuff his cock in you. He was huge, your jaw already hurting. His tangy taste spreaded in your mouth as he softly rocked back and forth, not wanting to choke you just yet.

You hollowed out your cheeks and focused on the tip of his cock as you used one of your hands to touch what you could not fit. Geto’s eyes were half lidded as he guided your head to a rhythm that he liked as you squirmed underneath Gojo’s touch.

Gojo removed his hand from you leaving you empty, you almost missed the sensation of him, but soon felt the man behind you poking your folds with something much bigger than his fingers. You mewled in panic when he entered you, your eyes widening in shock. God he was huge.

“Focus. Eyes up here,” Geto said, patting your cheek with an open palm. The way you looked up at him made Suguru feel close to high, your pupils widened to the size of a plate, eyes glistening in tears that you held back, still holding onto a sliver of pride. Brave girl, he thought to himself.

Gojo fucked you sloppily, squelching, slapping and your gurgling filling the room as both the men used your body to chase their own highs. You felt like you were drowning and when one withdrew the other one rammed into you without a second thought. It was hard to keep your attention on Geto when his boyfriend did everything in his power to make your task at hand challenging, when his long cock grazed upon that one spot inside you from time to time.

“I’m going to finish in your mouth,” Geto was out of breath, his grip tightened around your skull. Gojo groaned behind you with his fingers digging into your hips. You were sure that you’d have handprints tattooed on your skin by the end of this night.

Geto’s movement got erratic, his cock hitting the back of your throat making you gag around him painfully. The black haired man relished in the wet warmth your mouth provided him. He was panting as pleasure coursed through him, your despaired moans only driving him further. Hot stripes of his come coated your mouth. You wanted to spit it out, or swallow it, anything to get rid of it as your face soured in disgust.

“Keep it in your mouth,” he advised as he pulled out of you. You almost wanted to spit it on his face as an act of defiance. Geto smiled at the confrontational look on your face as if he knew what you were thinking. “Good girl,” he purred when you had decided not to go against him.

Gojo flipped you quickly around to lie on your back, your legs floating in the air awkwardly as he entered back into you swiftly. He pulled you in a feverish kiss, his soft lips slightly swollen. His tongue prodded inside your mouth, Suguru’s come spreading into his mouth as you explored each other. It felt disgusting, playing with someone’s fluids like this, but somehow it made your cunt clench around your white haired high school friend.

There was something deeply primal in the way Gojo drove into you, his head almost resting on yours as he fucked you deep and hard. You were vaguely aware of Geto’s eyes following the act in front of him, admiring the way Satoru’s muscles moved with every move, drinking up the disheveled look on you.

Satoru’s hips came to halt as he plastered his seed on your walls, making sure that he wasn’t too deep, keeping his thrusts shallow enough so he could see him leaking out of your used cunt.

“Fuck,” he breathed out, spent, the after glow warming him. “You didn’t come right?” He asked you, feeling slightly tired.

“No, but it doesn’t matter,” you rasped out your throat feeling hoarse after the abuse it had taken. Frankly you wanted to sleep as well.

“Suguru, can you help her out? I want to watch,” Gojo said as he fluffed the pillow underneath him to get into a comfortable position as if he was about to open the television and watch his favorite show.

“If you hold onto her other leg,” he said as he propped your left leg around his waist and Gojo took hold of your right one. You were helpless and unable to protect yourself when you tried to squirm away from the two devious men.

Geto’s nimble fingers gathered up Satoru’s come that was trickling down between your cheeks. He pushed it back inside you, moving his fingers slowly without a hurry in the world. It reminded you of the calm before a storm.

“You’re going to give us one more right?” Geto’s voice was reassured when he added another finger into you, thumb trailing to your sensitive clit. He knew just what to do, to get you fast back to the edge that you were teetering on earlier, already feeling overstimulated from the rough treatment you had gotten. His fingers made a come-hither movement hitting precisely your g-spot.

Gojo held onto you whispering sweet nothings to your ear, his thumb caressing your thigh. He was gentle, his touch light, eyes half lidded as he enjoyed the small whimpers coming from your mouth. He spoke to you, told you how much he had wanted you from the beginning. He spoke of how he saw that you wanted him – them. Gojo let you know how well you were doing, taking what they dished out to you, how you were brave and oh so good. He attempted to bury you in his twisted love, six feet underground, anxiety and arousal covering Geto’s fingers.

It was too overwhelming. Gojo next to you, Geto between your legs, your world still spinning around you, overstimulating touch and a coil about to snap. You wailed hollowly as you came apart on Suguru’s fingers one last time.

***

It was deep in the night, around two AM to be precise. You had shot your eyes open as the wave of nausea hit you. The two men had fallen asleep cuddling each other, limbs tangled on each other. You got up as quickly as you could, your head ache punishing you from your choices, stomach churning dangerously.

With a pitter patter from your naked feet, you carried yourself to the extravagant bathroom, barely having time to put the lights on as your nausea took over.

You doubled over the toilet seat, emptying your stomach of your earlier dinner and whatever else your friends had slipped in your drink. You held onto your hair desperately trying not to make a mess. A warm hand landed on your fist bunching up the rest of your hair gently.

“It’s okay. I’m here,” Suguru said affectionately, stroking your head. “Let it all out. You’re going to feel better soon.”

The acidic taste filled your mouth once again as if it was reacting to Suguru’s company. Your body forced you to throw up stomach fluids after having nothing else in it.

The way he took care of you brought up memories of the times you had taken one too many drinks, after your partner of that time had broken up with you. You remembered the way he had held you crying, snot and tears covering his shirt as you broke down.

The sound of water pouring into a glass echoed on the walls and you heard the rattle of an ice drawer disturbing the silence.

“You should drink this,” Satoru showed up leaning on the door frame, offering the glass to you. You hesitated.

“It’s just water.” He said and took a sip as if it would prove you anything. “See?”

You grabbed it from his hand, when you decided that you didn’t care anymore, downing the entire glass in almost one swing. The cold scraped your tender throat punishingly. You should have drank more slowly.

Waking up after the night had turned to day, the windows no longer covered by the blinds. You did not remember a lot of the act, except vomiting, but that came afterwards. The city was already moving fast, a new day offering new opportunities and new exciting journeys.

You felt physically a lot better, still weird, but you no longer felt like collapsing to the ground nor did you see things twice. It was almost like you had a hangover. You looked around Gojo’s room rolling on the bed that was empty feeling relieved of having space.

There were still signs of yesterday's fighting, but random shards had been taken care of and the lightbulb changed into a working one. You had your own pajamas on you, not having the slightest idea when and how you got into your clothes. Feeling nervous you got out of the bedroom walking to the toilet to empty your bladder. As you wiped, you felt around your crotch, searching for the remainder of different body fluids. You had cleaned yourself up. Or someone had.

You washed your hands, scrubbing them together with fervor, pumping out a heap of soap on your palm.

You repeated it once.

Twice.

Until your skin was scrubbed dry.

You looked at yourself in the mirror just to see familiar features, but not anyone you could recognize. You opened the overnight bag that you had left on the side of the sink to brush your teeth and spit out the foaming toothpaste. A smell of dough frying on the pan wafted to your nose as you heard commotion from the kitchen.

You took steps to the living room to find Suguru in front of the stove flipping pancakes as Satoru was hunched over a pile of strawberries nibbling on them happily. Upbeat rock played in the background as the two men joked around and chatted. You stared at them, something seething in you.

“Good morning! We’re making brunch,” Suguru exclaimed as he flipped a pancake over “Do you want coffee or tea?”

Nails bit into your skin as you clenched your fists together hard, your knuckles turning to white as anger turned on like a switch. You wanted to rage, go absolutely berserker, throw things at them, scream how dare you over and over. Some part of you also wanted to forget the night, pretend that it’s a nightmare, sit down with them to eat some fucking brunch.

“What if I tell someone,” it wasn’t really a question that you wanted them to answer.

“And what would you achieve with that?” Gojo retorted, popping a ridiculously big strawberry in his mouth, leaving the green stem outside as he bit down, the trash floating to the table.

Suguru placed the now ready pancake onto the white plate. He grabbed the black ladle to pour more mixture on the warm pan, before he started speaking calm but collected. It was this matter of fact tone that he used as if he was disappointed in your stupidity since he was always speaking the truth. The audacity of men or something like that.

“You know first hand how some clans look down on women, not believing that women should be sorcerers in the first place. So how do you think these powerful people are going to react to you saying that two of the strongest sorcerers assaulted you?” He mused, the conversation reminding you of ethics class where people discussed your human rights as a starter dish, completely disregarding that they were talking about real lives.

You knew how those types of people would react. They would see it only as normal, a woman’s place as a breeding machine, your sorcerer blood and womb more precious than your soul. They would argue that you were lucky or maybe that you had asked for it. Besides, it wasn’t exactly atypical of people in your line of work going insane, the trail of dead comrades keeping one up for countless nights. And who better to take anger out on than the people who are perceived as less.

“Even if they did believe you, it wouldn’t change our life at all. They need our skills and well, his money,” Suguru continued as Satoru grabbed three coffee cups and placed them on the kitchen island. As if, you were staying. “It would change yours though.”

That’s when realization hit you. They were the type of evil that were completely aware of their sins. They knew exactly what was right and wrong, but they simply did not care, the world as their oyster.

“You’re insane,” a tear rolled down your eye, your body trembling like a leaf.

“Not denying that one,” Satoru quipped, not taking anything serious like usual.

“If you want to, you can leave. You are free to run your mouth however you want, block our numbers, whatever makes you sleep better. Or you can eat some pancakes as friends and have powerful allies for the rest of your life,” Geto said. “I’ll ask again, coffee or tea?”

You bit your lip as the conflicted emotions flashed through your face. You despised that you viewed them still as your friends as much as your enemies. It was weird to love someone who had hurt you in one of the most violating ways possible.

“Coffee,” you mumbled as you sat down on the bar stool hanging your hands on your sides as Suguru poured the dark liquid on the blue cup.

“We got you Plan B too,” Satoru said, throwing the cardboard box into your hands. “You should take it. I’m not ready to be a father,” he added.

You fumbled the package open, popping out the small pill on your hand. You didn’t know how they knew that you weren’t on birth control nor did you really care. You placed the tablet on your tongue taking generous gulps of water as the couple continued on cooking.

Music played as the sun shone brighter, lighting up the whole kitchen, furniture basking up in the natural glow. You ate in peace, mainly Satoru and Suguru talking together but every once in a while you added something in the conversation. You fell quickly back to the old habits, maybe at times chuckling at their stupid jokes.

You pushed away the night. You tucked it in a corner of your mind that you did not dare to look at for many weeks to come. You were just three old high school buddies catching up, nothing more. The flashbacks you saw were not yours and the long weekend continued on as a happy sleep over.

#tw: noncon #dark fic #yandere jjk #yandere geto suguru #yandere gojo satoru #gojo satoru x geto suguru x reader #gojo satoru x reader #geto suguru x reader #yandere jujutsu kaisen

[hannieehaee]

18+ / mdi

content: boyfriend!mingyu & bf'sbestfriend!wonwoo, smut, afab reader, direct continuation to this, wonwoo pov, penetrative sex, oral (m and f receiving), mingyu's a lil shit, sex w/o protection, threesome, etc.

part 1

wc: 2275

a/n: tysm for the two ppl (i think??) who requested this. im so sorry i took so long </3

masterlist

"shit. please tell me this isn't a one time thing."

he heard you and mingyu chuckle at his breathless statement, except he had meant it. now that he had you once, he wasn't sure he could ever look you in the eye ever again without wanting to drag you right back into bed. he wasn't even going to get into the effect mingyu watching the two of you fuck had on him. he didn't want to open that can of worms just yet.

"hyung. get up. it's my turn," just as wonwoo was basking in on his post-orgasm bliss, of course mingyu had to interrupt him.

"gyu! give him some room to breathe!", you turned towards mingyu before turning back to stare down at him from your position above him, "are you okay, nonu?"

"don't baby him! you never baby me!"

"what do you mean? i always baby you!"

wonwoo had to admit he was quite entertained by your casual back and forth with mingyu while he laid naked under you, but he already felt himself growing hard again over the feeling of your wet pussy still laying right on top of his dick. by now he'd tuned you and mingyu out, keeping his eyes glued to the skin connecting the two of you, resisting the urge to grind his hips upwards and against you, so he went for something a bit more subtle (well, not really). while you and mingyu argued about who would do what next, wonwoo had decided to grab onto your hips and pull you down towards him mid speech, interrupting your conversation with your boyfriend as he locked lips with you once again. your immediate response was to yelp in surprise, but it didn't take you long to fall into the rhythm of wonwoo's lips, moaning against his lips as he buried his tongue in your mouth.

"d-dude! what the fuck? that's my girlfriend! you already had her, it's my turn," mingyu had gotten up from his spot sitting across from you, deciding to physically lift you off of wonwoo, earning a whine from you both as you chased for each other's lips.

"listen. i'm not about to third wheel between my girlfriend and my best friend', he turned back to wonwoo, we're taking turns. we'll be fair, okay? you can eat her out while i fuck her mouth. that's the most i can offer you right now," mingyu had made it sound very transactional, but wonwoo couldn't argue against him. the thought of your pretty cunt pressed against his face as you moaned around his best friend's cock sounded like a wet dream. it wasn't too difficult to agree, specially upon seeing your own enthusiastic agreement to the proposition.

a few moments later and the three of you were now practically a centipede on mingyu's bed. gyu was sitting at the end of the bed, back resting against the headboard as his hands guided your mouth in its bobs up and down his dick. behind you was wonwoo, who had you on all fours as he licked and sucked desperately at your cunt, which was grinding against his face with similar desperation. at the very end of the bed were wonwoo's hips, grinding maniacally against the bed at the arousal your taste and the sound of your moans were causing him.

"god, baby. you're so fucking good. such a pretty little mouth. n all for me, right beautiful?", groaned mingyu as he pushed your head further against his dick, forcing you to gag on his cock as you moaned against him.

"you like that, hyung? like my pretty girl's cunt? tastes so fucking good, doesn't it?", wonwoo wasn't sure what his reaction to his friend talking to him mid sex should be, but he was sure it shouldn't have caused him to speed up his hips, now practically humping the mattress.

what took the cake, however, was the feeling of your cunt against his tongue. wonwoo had thought he felt the utmost pleasure when you were riding him as his best friend jacked off to the sight of you, but nothing compared to your muffled moans as he sucked at your clit. he was sure that if he could see and hear you properly, he'd absolutely lose his mind.

"g-gyu ... need you to cum. please. want you in my mouth .. fuck my mouth - please!"

mingyu might've been used to hearing you quite literally begged for cock, but wonwoo sure as hell wasn't. your desperate moans for a big cock to fill your mouth had him groaning against your cunt, licking even more aggressively now as he held onto your hips and ground them against his face. your essence was taking over him, making him have to resist the urge to steal you away and rob orgasm after orgasm out of you as you cried for him to stop.

"yeah ... fuck! gonna cum, baby. are you ready? wanna see you swallow it all, yeah? be my good girl and take all of it for me," wonwoo felt you shake as mingyu came in your mouth, moaning louder than he'd even seen him, and that was saying a lot, considering how loud mingyu tended to be. he was now feeling himself become lightheaded at the mixture of your muffled moans and mingyu's loud ones. he hadn't realized until mingyu quietened down from his high that he was also moaning incessantly against your pussy, desperate for your release against his lips.

"c'mon, nonu. make her cum," taunted mingyu, using the nickname you had made up for him.

wonwoo took that as a challenge, speeding up his movements more than even he thought possible. there was nothing wonwoo had wanted in this moment, or maybe ever, than to feel your warm cream against his face.

"nonu! nonu, please - p-please! i'm almost there, just need to- oh! fuck, right there!", your cries for more had wonwoo going insane, feeling his cock almost explode at the sound of his name on your lips. he still couldn't believe he had you all to himself (well, almost) as you ground your ass against his face, pussy dripping and crying for him.

"cumming! i'm there, nonu- fuck!"

even from his angle, he felt you fall limp against your boyfriend, who was still sitting against the headboard as he watched him suckle on your clit. wonwoo had never thought his best friend to be so depraved, getting off on his friend making his girlfriend cry against his tongue, but he understood. he thought he might be a bit like him, maybe. but that was something for wonwoo to explore some other day. right now his focus was solely on the way you cried at him to stop kitten-licking at your swollen clit as your orgasm dissipated, but wonwoo couldn't help himself. he needed your cries of desperation embedded into his brain. he didn't know if he'd ever get a spot on your bed ever again, so he needed to make it worth it.

he couldn't get himself to stop until you physically separated yourself from him, now fully falling onto your boyfriend's lap, where he repositioned you so that you could sit up against mingyu's back, now facing wonwoo.

"did you like that, baby? liked your nonu's tongue on that pretty cunt?" mingyu was kissing your neck as he said this, causing you to tilt your head back as he suckled at it lightly, but his eyes were strictly on wonwoo.

"uh-huh," you breathed out, clearly not even processing what mingyu had said, just riding on the sensitivity your body was probably feeling after two intense orgasms, but wonwoo wanted to give you a third. his dick was incredibly hard by now, having only been able to grind against the mattress as he made you cry with his tongue. he needed your cunt again, but he wasn't too sure how to go about it.

it seemed that wonwoo's eyes might've given him away, as they were glued directly to your form, taking in how shiny your skin was due to the perspiration. he was beginning to become addicted the sight of your tits rising up and down with your heavy breaths, begging for a warm mouth to encompass them. so that's what he did. he closed the short gap between your bodies and leaned down to suckle at your tits, starting off lightly as if to tease you. he knew you were still sensitive, which caused him to relish on the soft cries and sighs of pleasure you were letting out at his kitten-licks against your nipples. there was no prettier sound than your whine of pleasure as he pressed his teeth against your nub, pulling at it lightly. you were now receiving love bites from your boyfriend who was sitting sitting right behind you, all the while wonwoo was worshiping your tits. wonwoo felt this was right. he felt that you deserved the utmost pleasure, and if that took form in the pair of them taking turns to have you, then so be it.

even as he enjoyed the taste of your skin against his tongue, the thought of your cunt wrapped against him once more wouldn't leave him, so he took a leap and spoke up, locking eyes with his best friend once more, "gyu, can i-"

"want her again, hyung? i understand. i would too," his friend smirked, clearly proud that at the end of the day, you were all his, and whether or not wonwoo got to have you again was up to him, "i'll let you have her again. but just like this. wanna keep her in my arms as she falls apart."

the angle was a bit uncomfortable, with you sitting on mingyu's lap as his back reclined against the bed frame, wonwoo on his knees in front of you. in order to fuck you, wonwoo had to partially allow his legs to sit atop mingyu's. at first he thought it'd be weird, but once his cock had made its way to its rightful place inside your warm walls, any thought of discomfort left him.

you both sighed in relief as he bottomed out, having missed the feeling even if you had only fucked about thirty minutes ago. you leaned back against mingyu, relishing on the way his hands fondled your tits and his mouth kissed at your neck as wonwoo thrusted against you.

"god ... you feel so fucking good. best fucking pussy i've ever had ..." wonwoo had realized the way in which you'd react at mingyu's dirty talk, wanting to also have a similar effect on you.

"hear that, baby? your nonu likes that pretty pussy. and you've been keeping it from him this whole time? that's so mean ... better make it up to him, huh, pretty?" mingyu playfully bit at your ear as he said this, making you throw your head back at being attacked by the two pussydrunk men.

"wa-want you to cum in me, nonu ... please! gyu won't mind. right, baby? wanna feel you ... please ..." wonwoo almost came at your words, having so badly wanted to fill you up just half an hour ago when mingyu had halted your movements before you could sit on him and ride him raw, requesting you use a condom due to his possessive nature over you. wonwoo wasn't sure what'd changed, but he wasn't going to test his luck by asking.

"whatever you want, princess. it's yours. just wanna make my girl feel good. you feel good, baby? you like his dick? is it better than mine, beautiful?", wonwoo could tell there was some sadistic side to this. mingyu seemed to enjoy causing you turmoil as he asked an impossible question in the midst of your impending orgasm, knowing your mind was half empty by the pleasure.

"n-no! like you both ... so good ... please ..." wonwoo had only had you this evening, but he could already see your tells when you were about to cum, and jesus was he glad. he didn't know how much longer he could last as he saw you mewl against his friend's chest, crying as his cock hammered into you while your boyfriend pinched and pulled at your nipples.

"cum for me, yeah? gonna cum with you, gorgeous. just need you to- fuck! n-need you to cum for me first," as much as wonwoo wanted to match mingyu on his art of dirty-talk, there was only so much he could do as you wrapped viciously around him, making him feel as if all air had been kicked out of his lungs, chasing after yet another intense orgasm triggered by you.

it took you a few extra minutes to catch your breath, both of you cumming almost simultaneously while mingyu instigated you to moan louder for his friend. wonwoo felt as if he entered an astral state, bliss completely taking over him not only at the sensations but at the pretty sight in front of him.

you both fell limp against each other after that, taking a quick minute to catch your breaths.

"no. this was not a one time thing, by the way. you're welcome in our bed anytime," mingyu finally broke the silence, - sans the heavy breathing - answering the question wonwoo had posed earlier.

"yeah, we've talked about it before ... you're welcome in our bed whenever. if you want, that is!" now it was your turn, doing the best you could to muster out an entire sentence through your lack of breath.

wonwoo just laid there, smile forming on his face. yeah, he was going to enjoy this new dynamic with his best friend and his pretty girl.

#seventeen fanfic #seventeen x reader #svt fanfic #seventeen #svt #svt x reader #seventeen imagine #seventeen smut #seventeen oneshot #svt smut #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #svt imagines #svt scenarios #wonwoo x reader #wonwoo oneshot #wonwoo fanfic #wonwoo smut #mingyu x reader #mingyu oneshot #mingyu fanfic #mingyu smut

[happilykrispypirate]

The Mistake

Pairings: Mattheo Riddle x fem! Nott! reader

Warnings: Swearing, fighting, mentions of sex, every detail of a probably awkward looking makeout shesh and my shitty writing.

Summary: Pansy invited Y/n out to a local bar with Blaise, Pansy then decided it would be a good idea to invite her brother and his best friend.

A/n: This is based off of true events that have recently happened to me and I am unsure how I should process it or how I really should be feeling about it. I know how I should feel about it, but I don't. So, writing fanfic is my only coping mechanism at this point.

-

"Alright, everyone got everything?" Pansy asked as she and Blaise walked hand in hand with Y/n right next to her into the bar.

"Yeah, my brother said they would save us a table so long," Y/n said as she searched for her brother. She saw them, finally, at the way back near the bathrooms.

Good, she thought, I'm going to be spending my whole evening in there listening to Pansy rant about how annoyed she is with Blaise and how in love she is with Mattheo.

"What's up, fuckers," Y/n greeted.

"What's up, you little shit," Theo smiled as he hugged his sister.

"Hey Matt," Y/n greeted as she gave him a hug.

As soon as everyone greeted everyone, they all sat down. Y/n knew it would be awkward if she was third wheeling with Pansy and Blaise, so she's thankful her brother and Mattheo decided to join.

"So, how pissed are you two?" Y/n asked as she looked between the two boys.

"I'm good, but he's gone," Theo said pointing at Mattheo. He was staring at Pansy.

The two of them met a while back on Y/n's birthday. Even then she and Blaise were a thing, she knew it was a disaster waiting to happen.

Blaise, of course, doesn't know anything.

"As always," Y/n said laughing, and shifting uncomfortably as the seat she was sat on had to be shared by two other people.

"Y/n, I need to go to the bathroom, come with me," Pansy said as she suddenly pulled her away.

Here we go...

"I can't do this," Pansy said once they entered one of the bathroom stalls.

"I knew this would be difficult for you," Y/n said as she slid down the door whilst Pansy sat on the toilet.

"I don't want Blaise, I want Mattheo. I mean, we've been talking for hours almost every night, he makes me feel, I don't know, special?" Pansy said as she sighed and held her head in her hands.

"Maybe you should just leave Blaise, if Mattheo makes you happy then go for it," Y/n said.

"At this point, I think he might like you more than he likes me, and I'm totally fine with that, if you want to go for him, do it. As long as you're happy," She said.

"Dude, I don't even know the guy, and he doesn't know me either. Besides, I highly doubt that he'd ever want to do anything with a chubby girl who hasn't even had her first kiss yet," Y/n said, trying to make her best friend feel better, when she only made herself upset.

"You're beautiful, stop saying those things," Pansy said, "I do think I need to talk to him though."

"I'll try to get him over to the bar inside, whilst Theo keeps Blaise distracted," Y/n said, "I just hope you're sober enough to talk to him, I know you've been drinking long before you even got here."

"I'm severely tipsy," She said giggling as she headed out the bathroom.

Pansy quickly told Blaise that she was going to go pay for the drinks they'd bought so far. Y/n just disappeared to find Mattheo, he was talking to someone else.

When she finally got him away, she told him to follow her into the bar, and that Pansy wanted to talk to him.

She stood off at the side, looking at the two talking, not hearing a thing they're saying because of the music. She looked away when he grabbed her face and kissed her. Making sure that Blaise couldn't see them, and also not wanting to feel the lonely feeling that she feels whenever her friends tell her they've kissed someone.

After a few minutes, she walked back to them, "Listen, as cute as this is, we need to head back to the table, Blaise will get suspicious," She said.

"Right, Matt, you head out first, we'll come after you," Pansy said. Mattheo smiled at her lovingly before walking out.

Pansy hooked her arm around Y/n's, "Holy shit, that was the best fucking kiss I've ever had," Pansy said excitedly, only earning a light hearted chuckle from Y/n.

When they got back to the table, Y/n saw that the space where she had previous sat had grown smaller. Leaving her no choice but to sit next to Mattheo who had the whole seat to himself.

His jacket was on the table, and without thinking she laid with her head on top of her arms on the jacket.

"Oi, wake up," Theo said once he saw his sister laying on her arms.

"I'm awake you fucking dickhead," She said rolling her eyes. She noticed from the corner of her eyes that Mattheo was looking at her.

"Hey, leave her alone," Pansy said, and she just chuckled as she saw the two starting to argue.

"Wow," She heard Mattheo say when he was looking at her.

"What?" She asked confused.

"You're really beautiful," He said.

"You're really drunk," She said shaking her head.

"If you say so," He said causing her to roll her eyes.

"Focus on one girl, please, I'm not worth it. Focus on Pansy," She said.

"I'm trying to but, Blaise is getting in the way. I mean look at her, she's beautiful, but it's a big turn off that Blaise is with her," He said rather loudly.

Blaise heard this and he glared at Mattheo.

"Shush, he might hear you," Y/n whispered turning to him, she didn't fail to notice how his eyes kept trailing down to her lips.

She instead turned her head to lay on his shoulder so it looked a bit less suspicious.

Mattheo then put a hand on her leg and rubbed circle's on her thighs. She didn't do anything. She knew she needed to, but she couldn't.

She then moved away from him, noticing Pansy's look.

After a while of them drinking, Y/n had moved back to her previous spot. She was talking to her brother when she saw that Mattheo was trying to tell her something. She couldn't hear him over the music so she got up and moved over to their side to sit between her brother and Mattheo.

"You okay?" She asked once she sat down.

"Yeah," he said nodded.

"Alright," She said, before yawning, "Jeez, I'm going to fall asleep."

"Now, sleep here," Mattheo said patting his shoulder.

Y/n knew she shouldn't but she remembered what Pansy had said earlier: if you want to go for him, do it.

So, she laid her head on his shoulder and he placed a hand on her thigh while he laced his other hand with hers.

"I think we're going to go and sober her up before we head home," Blaise said referring to Pansy who was way past drunk.

"Alright, I'll see you in a bit," Y/n said, pulling away from Mattheo completely, before they walked off.

"Hey, Theo, please go talk to Pansy for me," Mattheo said.

"Alright," Theo said before getting up and leaving them alone.

Y/n laid her head on his shoulder again and he rested his head against hers.

Next thing she knew Mattheo tilted his head and placed his lips on hers whilst holding her face.

What the fuck are you doing! She internally screamed at herself as she continued to let Mattheo makeout with her.

She didn't expect the tongue at first but before she knew it he swirled his tongue around hers. She didn't move her lips, unsure that if she did that she'd be doing it right.

The position he held her in was awkward and painful for her, so she pulled away from the kiss and sat up straight.

"Holy fuck," She said, "You were my first kiss."

"Let me be your next one as well," He said before attacking her lips again. The same happened this time, just as it had before.

Only this time when she pulled away he hugged her tight, he moved her hair away from her neck and started kissing her on the neck, making sure to leave a hickey.

She then quickly realised what was happening so she pulled away again.

"I can't do this to Pansy," She said as she held her face in her hands.

Mattheo put an arm around her and pulled her close. He kissed the side of her head, her cheek, her nose.

Before she knew it, he was leaning in to kiss her again. When their lips met she, for some odd reason, glanced to the side and saw Pansy looking at them.

"Fuck," She said as she saw Pansy run away. She immediately stood up, "This was a mistake."

"What happened?" Mattheo asked.

"Pansy saw us," She said.

"Shit," He said.

-The next part I wished would've happened because it would've made this whole situation a whole lot better-

Y/n quickly ran after Pansy.

"Wait!" Y/n said grabbing her arm.

"How could you?" Pansy yelled, tears running down her face.

"I'm sorry, it was a mistake," Y/n said, tears threatening to fall.

"I don't ever want to speak to you again," She spat before walking away.

Y/n took deep breaths, trying to contain the tears, when her brother walked up to her, "What happened?" He asked.

"Mattheo kissed me and Pansy saw," She said, Theo had known about Pansy and Mattheo ever since it happened, "And now I have no ride home. And my best friend hates me."

"No, you know what fuck her," Theo said, as he took the crying Y/n into his arms, "You're single, Mattheo's single and Pansy is technically in a relationship with Blaise, because they've slept together, more than once and they're always together. You're not wrong, she is."

She knew he was trying to make her feel better but she, in some way, regretted Mattheo's being her first kiss. She knew it was a mistake.

Mattheo came running to them, "What happened?" He asked.

"Pansy saw you two, and told Y/n she never wants to speak to her again," Theo said.

"Fuck, Y/n I'm so sorry," Mattheo said.

Y/n looked at him and slowly shook her head, "It's not your fault," She said, before she looked at Theo, "Can I maybe get a ride home?"

"Sure, you're just going to have to sit on Mattheo's lap," Theo said.

"Oh fuck," Y/n groaned causing Theo to chuckle.

"You're never going to live this down," Theo chuckled.

-

Y/n sat on Mattheo's lap looking out of the window. She hated the fact that her brother's car only has 2 seats. Yet she didn't mind it one bit.

Mattheo kept staring at the bruise on her neck, he felt proud of himself when he knew he shouldn't be.

He wasn't going to lie, he's liked Y/n since he met her. Pansy was a distraction, and it obviously didn't work.

When they arrived at Y/n's apartment Mattheo followed her up the stairs to her front door.

"I don't think it was a mistake," Mattheo said, catching her attention, "I've been wanted to do that, ever since I met you."

"Really?"

Mattheo nodded.

"Took you long enough," She said.

Mattheo rolled her eyes and leaned in and kissed her again.

It was a mistake at first, but mistakes make good stories, and good stories, have a happy ending.

#x reader #reader insert #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo #mattheoriddle #mattheoxreader #mattheo riddle x you #mattheo riddle x fem reader #mattheo x y/n #riddle #riddle x reader #theodore nott x reader #lorenzo berkshire x reader #x fem reader #draco malfoy x reader #draco x reader #mattheo riddle

[bluecollarmcandtf]

Ask me Anything...

Today seems just like any other boring day, slaving away in the office, but something different is about to happen. The steady hum of fluorescent lights is broken by the squeaky sound of wheels rolling up behind you. Someone is visiting your cubicle...

"Dude, you ok?" you ask, startled by the sorry state of your coworker.

His name is John. He started working here a month before you did, but he's always labeled you as "the new guy." He's really annoying about it, but you've never complained. It's hard to get mad when you've got a crush on him. It just sucks that he's straight and always teasing you in front of the boss

"Seriously, John," you wave a hand in front of his unresponsive face, "Are you alive? You're drooling all over your shirt!"

His blank expression is unsettling, but seeing him slumped over in his seat like a lifeless sex doll is turning you on. You can't help but stare at the parted lips or the limp body. With a shudder of excitement, you notice the outline of his thick package as his slacks ride up his waist.

His prolonged silence is making you more nervous, "John? I'm starting to get worried..."

Suddenly his head jerks up! His glassy eyes stare blankly in your direction as his lips mechanically form the words, "Do not worry about this man's health. Your colleague will be returned to normal with no memory of this."

His robotic response only puts you more on edge, "John, why are you talking in the third-person?"

Before you get an answer, the man springs out of his chair and drops to the floor, sitting on his knees in front of you without a thought in his head. This can't be the John you know!

Everything about this feels unnatural and wrong. His words sound rehearsed, like they're coming from a machine in his throat. His movements are limp and uncoordinated, like they're being pulled by invisible strings. Someone has taken over your coworker!

"This body is being used as a messenger," he explains from his knees, "He is being used to announce that the Bluecollarmcandtf is now open for Asks. For a short time, you can use the Ask feature to request a story..."

"What!" you gasp and glance around the office nervously. You can't believe that a silly blog you follow has somehow taken over your hot coworker! What if your boss comes out and sees John on his knees in front of you? How is this even possible?

"...you can ask for anything, and Bluecollarmcandtf will bring your fantasy to life. Maybe you want someone in your life transformed. Maybe you want them controlled. Maybe you want them humiliated. Bluecollarmcandtf will take care of it for you as long as you follow him..."

Your mind is racing, and you can barely grasp what John is telling you. Mostly, you're just worried someone is going to catch sight of your coworker kneeling in front of you!

"Ok, thanks for letting me know," you grit your teeth anxiously, "Please put John back to normal now."

"...John won't go back to normal just yet," John answers numbly, "Give him commands to obey. His body is yours to boss around for the next twenty-four hours..."

"Boss John around?" you gasp, wondering what to make him do.

"You have ten seconds to give John a command. If you don't, he's going to start braying like a donkey at the top of his lungs. 10. 9. 8. 7. 6..."

"Ok! Just shut up and kiss my feet!" you blurt it out a little louder than you mean to, but at least John won't start drawing any more attention to you by acting like an animal.

John stops his countdown and lowers his face to the floor, planting a kiss on each of your fancy loafers. The funny thing is that he doesn't stop. I suppose you weren't specific enough with your command because he just keeps mindlessly switching between each shoe, making out with them like it's the most normal thing in the world.

Your mind is racing with what to do next. Already, ideas of how to humiliate him and use him are swimming through your head, but remember what he told you. Asks are open!

Don't be afraid to request taking someone else under your control. Maybe Bluecollarmcandtf could do something about that boss of yours? You'll obviously have to be careful about what you ask. Fantasies can always be misinterpreted...

[fruitsoxs]

Having Vash and Wolfwood as roommates would include;;

warnings;; i don't define a relationship, but it kinda hints at all three of you being together, lots of fluff, nothing nsfw (but I'm thinking about doing some nsfw headcanons for this in the future if anyone is interested)

How it happens/Meeting Vash

You’re basically desperate when your plans for moving in with your ex best friend fall through, leaving you basically homeless right before the semester is about to start

Looking online, in the newspaper even, you’re searching for any place that doesn’t look scummy, creepy, or charges you up the ass

Knowing full well that living without roommates in this economy is impossible, you’re hoping to find some nice people-

And boy do you luck out

Posted on some stupid roommate finder website is an add for a three bedroom apartment that’s in a sort of sketchy part of town, but offers protection for anyone willing to brave it. The guy that posted it seems nice, the ad is kinda funny, and the rent is cheap

You decide to try it out

When you first meet Vash, it’s in a little coffee shop near the uni you’re attending. It’s a safe spot to meet with a stranger, and he was cool with whatever you suggested. Green flag.

He’s pretty nice, funny, and insanely cute. He tells you that the other roommate, a man he calls “Nicholas” is at work, but from the way Vash talks about him you assume he’s a chill dude too

You can’t help but feel a bit intimidated by how attractive Vash is. He’s blonde, with a cute little mole, and his eyes are like…woah

Plus he’s got a cute little piercing !!!

No guy this good looking should be this nice

You decide pretty quickly this feels like a good match, and bam the deed is done

You move in next week, get your stuff situated and suddenly you have two new roommates

Meeting Wolfwood

It’s almost disappointing how little you see of the other roommate in the first week. Vash explains that he’s been taking on extra shifts at work but you still kinda feel like maybe the man is avoiding you?

All you know of the man is that he smokes, drinks a little, and has weird taste in movies

You see random objects strewn across the house that belong to him and you start trying to figure out his personality in your head

You decide that he’s probably some skinny stoner, and you’re pretty confident in that hypothesis until you actually see him

You bump into him in the morning right before you head off to start your first day of class

You literally bump into him-

As he’s leaving the bathroom, you’re in the hallways and a collision occurs. To make matters worse he’s shirtless

And he’s hot

He’s wearing sweatpants, his toned torso out in the open, and his hair is a bit of a mess. You can tell it’s sort of a short wolf-cut though- and it’s definitely working on him 

He kinda smirks down at you and says it’s nice to finally “run” into you

And fuck- how are you supposed to survive having TWO hot roomates

General Chaos

You find out pretty quickly that these two are not the most normal people

And you freaking love it

Once Wolfwood’s insane work schedule chills out, you finally get chance to see the duo in action

They kind act like an old married couple. It’s a bit scary at first, and you fear you might be third wheeling but you soon mix into their dynamic quite nicely

Once wolfwood starts calling you some funky nickname you know you’ve wormed your way into their hearts

Your schedules all clash a  bit, but you all find time to see each other throughout the day. Wolfwood has a morning class like you, and so you end up eating breakfast together most days. You start taking turns making food for each other

No matter what you both at least drink an entire pot of coffee together, and complain about life

Vash and you meet up in the afternoon, since your afternoon classes are close to each other. He’s the one who texts you the first time to ask if you want to meet up- and your heart does a little flip

It has become a habit. Whenever you two aren’t busy with other things, you’ll sit outside on a grassy area and talk for a second

All three of you hang out at night when Wolfwood isn’t working insane night shifts

Saturdays are movie nights. You HAVE to attend movie nights

It gets crazy. Especially when Wolfwood graciously shares his stuff.

The first time they see you cry- you’re pretty sure they might explode

You’re stressed from school, whatever job you might have, and probably a few family problems too. Vash walks in to your room to ask you what you want for dinner, sees the tears and whips out his phone to tell Wolfwood

He then immediately rolls you up in a blanket and makes you cuddle him on the couch to destress.

He’s insanely patient with you, rubbing your back and letting you vent

Wolfwood kicks open the door with your favorite comfort food moments later, and the three of you sit and watch a stupid movie

Wolfwood keeps his arm around you, and lets you rest your head on his chest

Vash’s hand is in yours

They’re pretty respectful of your privacy at first- but they’re both like the clingiest friends ever

Vash doesn’t mean to- and will apologize if he oversteps boundaries 

Wolfwood on the other hand just doesn’t care. He’ll waltz into your room and go “Hey- stop screaming- I need you to make sure I got this math correct.”

Crazy competitive game nights, that sometimes end in you pulling Wolfwood off of Vash as Vash screams for his life to be spared (he like staking stars from Wolfwood in mario party) (It ends in bloodshed every time) (He should really stop)

Grocery shopping is just Wolfwood acting like a dad while you and Vash are off shoveling sweets into the cart (He secretly puts his favorite treats in the cart too though)

You and Vash stage an intervention for Wolfwood when he gets a little bit too into buying random jewelry covered in crosses (“we know you have religious trauma- and yes you look good in them- but come on-”). He walks into the apartment, sees the sign, and then walks out

Vash invites his brother over once and you’re pretty sure you’re about to be cut. (“No Vash- Knives is nice…he’s just scary.” “He just has a resting “I want to murder” you face!”)

Feelings bloom?

They really warm up to you. One day it becomes clear that you’re just…part of them now. Like they can’t imagine you ever leaving their side

It’s the same for you. You walk out one day, and grab your mug of coffee from Wolfwood and…you just kinda spot and think that you really like these guys. Things feel right

I think overtime things just slowly get intimate- 

like you start holding Vash’s hand just casually throughout the day

And sometimes Wolfwood will come rest his head on your shoulder from behind, and you’ll reach up and run your hand through his hair

Casual soft touches just become a thing you know?

Vash lets his hand rise under your shirt a bit when you’re sitting with him on the couch

And eventually…maybe they become less casual?

Wolfwood puts his hand on your waist as he passes by behind you

The sexual tension is like palpable 

I don’t really know who finally kisses who- or how things go from wholesome to spicy- but it gets there eventually

And soon you three are more than just roommates, more than friends, and even if you don’t know what it is- it’s kinda perfect

You renew the lease for the next year, and you’re pretty damn happy you were homeless for that little bit now

#wolfwood x reader #nicholas d wolfwood x reader #vash x reader #vash the stampede x reader #trigun x reader #wolfwood headcanons #vash headcanons

[crazystargirl]

and one for ethan where he and reader are working together and y/n has to wear the outfit and when ethan sees her he kind of has a *pause* moment and his brain short circuits and he calls y/n hot and then its a little fluffy confession followed by murder and then a cute lil kiss 🤭

you look hot, y'know that?

pairing ! - ethan landry x reader

word count ! - 0.5k !

a/n ! - FINALLY FINISHED THIS AND IT MIGHT NOT MAKE SENSE SORRY!!!

your best friend quinn had suggested the idea of wearing something sexy for halloween but you also wanted to be a fairy

so quinn took you shopping and you guys found a fairy outfit that wasn't too revealing but also wasn't too modest

fast forward to halloween night, you, tara, mindy, anika, and chad were all going to a frat party for halloween

you hung out with mindy and anika for a bit before feeling like a third wheel and running off to go find tara, only to find out she was VERY DRUNK 

you watched over her for a bit until you ended up losing tara

you ended up going to the living room where you saw chad and some other dude dancing, and since you were bored you went up to chad to see what he was doing

"chad..CHAD" you yelled in his ear, practically jumping a foot to yell in his ear

"oh hey y/n! have you met my roommate?" chad says, turning around and bending down to talk to you

you look at the guy who chad was dancing with earlier and shook your head

"hi im y/n!" you say, smiling at him

"hey i'm ethan" the guy, ethan, said looking a bit flustered. you just assumed he was flustered since he was drunk or something but that was obviously NOT the case

to put it simply, ethan was in love with you

he was absolutely obsessed with you and had wanted to talk to you for the longest time, which is why he came to this stupid frat party willingly 

"you look really hot y'know that?" ethan says randomly, making you gasp and look up at him

you would've never thought to hear those words come out of ethan's mouth but hey here we are

after a while, ethan disappeared to god knows where and then came back after a bit, giving you a hug from the back

"y/n i have a question" he said, making sure you heard him over the loud music 

"yeah what's up?" you say, turning around to face him

and oh god ethan wants to ask first but you look so kissable so there goes consent 

he picks you up so that the height difference wouldn't be an issue for him and kisses you long and slow

you're just as shocked as him but kiss back and only pull away for air

"im so so so sorry, i should've asked first" ethan says over and over

"nononono ethan it's ok i liked it" you say with a smile and then you feel ethan's grip on you tighten a bit as he smiles

you guys get pulled out of your world when you hear yelling and screaming, quickly going over to see the problem

there was a guy lying dead outside and everyone at the party was freaking out, including you

you turned around to see ethan looking bored and then realizing you were staring at him

"well it is what it is babe" ethan says nonchalantly, then bringing his mouth to your ear so you can hear him

"you wanna go somewhere more private now?"

taglist ! - @xyzstar, @gwenlore, @dizscreams, kaesworldxx, @urmomcomsiimiamour, @nonniesworld, @chemtr4ilz, @phsychobanana

lmk if you want to be added/removed !

©crazystargirl || do NOT copy or repost without my permission

#ethan landry #ethan landry x reader #ethan landry x fem!reader #ethan landry x you #ethan landry fluff #ethan landry angst #jack champion #jack champion x reader #jack champion x you #jack champion fluff #jack champion x y/n #jack champion angst

[athamad]

Ah yes finally I'm finished, Ratings of Odysseus and Penelope's reunion artworks let's get started!!!

No.1

-I like this very much

-but Odysseus isn't participating enough

-your wife is on her knees Odysseus do something!!!!

-Aww they're about to kiss...l think?

-I feel like they can just rub noses forever

-love the third wheel back there

-also love the hand placements

8/10

No.2

-l love this

-theyre not gonna kiss tho

-they can stare at each other for days

-and l support that

-the women in the back are Athena and Homer(I'm the chair)

-basic but love it overall

-again love the hand placements

9/10

No.3

-Penelope why are you grabbing Odysseus' beard so aggressively???

-l get why you're mad but damn

-I mean he might like it?

-why are they kneeling

-are you gonna make out on the floor or what?

-"If I'm going down you're coming with me." "yes babe ❤️"

-who are the other guys?

-l don't like the crowd that much

-too crowded 😬

6/10

No.4

-WAIT WHY ARE YOU GUYS NOT HUGGING

-HUH?????

-GOD DAMMIT BE AFFECTIONATE

-why are you guys so lifeless???

-l don't like this

-at least the coloring is nice

-but a hand hold isn't enough

2/10

No.5

-this is too perfect

-I love the idea of Penelope just jumping into Odysseus after she figured out it was really him

-and Odysseus is like "l got you babe"

-this is too much l love it

-perfection

-l like the art style too

10/10

No.6

-this is so good

-Penelope my beloved

-Odysseus is a bit lifeless

-dude show some emotion we don't judge

-overall l like it

-but Odysseus is cold for no reason

6.5/10

No.7

-now this is unique

-malewife Odysseus? Sign me up

-l love it

-Odysseus is probably giving a romantic speech

-Telemachus is flabbergasted

-there are things going on on the background but not important

7/10

No.8

-I LOVE THIS AAAA

-theyre so in love l wanna eat them

-Penelope threw herself at him and he caught her

-EEEEKKK!!!

-ugh l love them

-Athena is like "my job is done here"

-for the third time those hand placements are so good l will eat this artwork

10/10

No.9

-GODDAMMIT WHERE IS THE AFFECTION

-ODYSSEUS HUG YOURE WIFE

-why are you so angry? Hello???

-Penelope is so cute l wanna pinch her cheeks

-if you don't hug her l will

-and then beat you with a stick

3/10

No.10

-oh

-my

-GODDDD AAAAA

-THE WAY THEY LOOK AT EACHOTHER JFNDNSKSNE

-theyre so cute I'm gonna explode

-the ideal couple

-Penelope threw herself at him

-AND HE CAUGHT HER AAAA

-They don't look like they will kiss but it's fine

-nevermind they will

-Athena represents all of us

10/10

So, uh, that's it! This was fun tbh, l might do this again with another moment from the Odyssey (maybe Naussica finding him or his step grandma realizing who he is) but let me know what you think :D

Uhhhh, have a nice day!

#greek mythology #odyssey #homer's odyssey #homer #odysseus #odypen #penelopeofithaca #odysseus x penelope #penelope odyssey #odysseus and penelope #penelope #reunion #odysseus/penelope #odysseusofithaca #Odysseus and Penelope reunion #artworks #art #paintings #painting #artwork

[writesforfun]

childhood friends, a Mark Lee Fiction.

angst, fluff, mark is sooo mark-coded here(?), you and mark are friends since birth, neighbor mark, 2k words

Being Mark Lee's bestfriend at the mere age of 0 was a blessing— some people would say now.

He's handsome, that you admit. He's been this guy that's just popular for no reason at all. He's handsome, good in everything he sets his mind at, and don't forget the fact that Mark, although shy and doesn't really have that much of a close friend, is just simply very kind to everyone he meets.

You thought you would lose him when you two were in elementary and middle school— cause he was that popular. Everyone wanted to play and be friends with him, and you thought he would forget you. Which Mark definetely prooved it to be nonsense, cause he sat and stayed with you every day without failure. When you asked why, Mark just simply shrugged it off by saying, "What do you mean why? We're friends!"

So here you are. Both of you are grown-ups, you will be turning 24 at December and Mark had already hit that age in August.

It's now September.

"Y/N! What you thinking?" He holds your hand tight, smiling— nah, come to think of it, he didn't smile. It's a grin. The Mark Lee™ signature grin.

You come to your senses. Today, you're gonna go to an ice cream shop with Mark and then you two are gonna make some popcorn and watch movies at your house.

"Sorry. I was thinking of us during elementary school."

He puts on a shock expression. "Daaaaamn dude. That was such a looong time agooooo!"

You laugh and shake your head, grabbing his hands so that you can pull him to his Tesla so that he would start driving.

"What? Yo I'm serious! When you said that I felt it in my stomach that like.. yooo that was a long ass time ago," He said. You ruffle his hair, ignoring his sound of protest. "You're saying things that doesn't need any further explanations. As a friend, I'm helping you so that both of us wouldn't waste time and hurry up."

Mark rolled his eyes with a smile on his face, opening up his car door for you first and then for him. You felt your heart skip four beats or something and then ignore them for the nth time.

Don't care about your feelings, Y/N. You said to yourself. Yes, you do have an immense crush— no, no. Yes, you do love him since middle school, but that doesn't matter. What matters the most is your friendship. And you would never want to ruin that.

Seeing Mark spend Valentine's Day with someone else at college hurted you like crazy. He always used to spend it together with you, but at college, he spent it with his now ex-girlfriend. They broke up after a year of dating, and a year of your suffering basically. You try to distance yourself then, but Mark just quite simply won't accept distancing as friendship. He visited your house basically everytime, and he picks you up although you gotta third wheel him and his girlfriend.

There was no drama between you and his ex though. His ex have always been nice, and you two still talk via DM sometimes. You know, replying stories and stuff.

"Y/N! I was asking a question, dude," He said, putting his hand your thighs and squeezing them gently. Things he did as a simple caring gesture since you know him.

"Sorry. I was thinking of my homework. What did you ask?" You lied, gritting your teeth before looking at his gawkingly handsome face. You just wanna kiss that smile off his— nevermind.

"I was thinking, maybe instead of rewatching Mean Girls we could just watch Doctor Strange? I've been dying to watch the Multiverse of Madness thingy, I haven't watch that."

You nod. "I haven't too. We're so lame! That's a disrespect to Marvel,"

He laughs, turning the bluetooth volume to a solid 38, making you both hear Taylor Swift's Labyrinth clearly. The bluetooth is connected to your phone, and Taylor Swift is your favorite singer. You introduce her to Mark and he basically just listen to it with you like the good person he is. You brag to Karina and Ningning all the time that he's a trained Swiftie.

But this song.. this song, you relate to a lot. It's about a realization of being in love, and considering your situation, you relate to it a lot.

You don't really believe in good man and love until you realize you love him. Your dad.. he failed to set example of a man when your family caught him cheating during your elementary school years and even going as far as marriage with the person he's cheating with. Your mom forgived him and they're still together— but the trauma you went through was unexplainable. Since then, your relationship with your dad has been different. His voice sounds annoying as hell and every thing he do, you nitpick and hate. Mark has always been there for you though, he even spent all his savings during elementary school to buy you new toys and ice cream.

You know and believe that Mark is a good guy. Every thing he does have always been positive and his mind never fails to make you fascinated.

"Oh God, why are the Halloween decorations have already been put up?" You ask when you both arrive at the ice cream shop you always go together with. It's a 17 minute drive from both of your house, which is in front of each other.

"Better late than never, Y/N. Let's go," He says, opening his door before opening up yours and opening the door for you.

He ordered a watermelon and vanilla ice cream, which you hated and teased him with since forever. You think that's a weird combination and his love for watermelon should never be brought to an ice cream flavor. You ordered a Lotus Biscoff ice cream, and he have a lot of protests for that as well but whatever. Biscoff for life.

"Do you wanna eat it here or in the car?" He ask. "I don't know. How are you gonna eat it if we're gonna eat in the car?" You ask him again instead of answering his question.

"You can just feed me, I guess." He answers nonchalantly, like it's something normal in a friendship. The blur of lines are making you wanna die, and sometimes you just think to yourself whether or not distancing yourself from Mark is a better option.

"Alright then. Let's eat in the car, whatever," You say. As much as you hate to admit it, you wouldn't really pass on feeding him. Both of you had feed each other since middle school anyway.

Coming home from watching Doctor Strange with Mark, you realize that your feelings for Mark is just growing bigger every day, and you finally decide that you can't do this anymore.

Come on, Mark Lee simply would never look at you more than friends, right?

So you decide to ignore his presence. You ignore all his texts, and even when Mark came to your house and ask for your presence, you had already ask your Mom who knows your crush towards him to tell him that you're not in the house.

You usually go to your work place with Mark cause you and him work only 2,4km away from each other. So whenever he picks you up, you were already gone. It's for the best. You miss him a lot but you realize you'd rather lose him now than losing him to a girl he'll marry later. You can't imagine being her bridesmaid and be happy for them though you're dying.

His nth phone call of the day you ignore without failure today as well. It's been a month of ignoring him and you're kind of used to the feeling of a scratch in your heart whenever you hear his dissapointed and sad voice downstairs. Your phone vibrates, and you see his third message for you today.

markie 🐆🦁

Y/N it's been a month. i don't know what i did to you but i know you're ignoring me. whats uppp? please answer me. please. i can't afford to lose you.

And there it is again. Your heart hurts like crazy. But whatever. Just sleep through it like always. It's for the best.

It's your first day of period today and you're hurting like crazy. Usually, Mark would be here to comfort you and massage you and all that stuff, but now, you actually think you're gonna spend your birthday tomorrow without him. For the first time ever in your life.

The day you were born, baby Mark had come with his lovely family to visit your family in the hospital. From his and your parents, you heard that you slept next to Mark and he hugged you both as you sleep. Baby Mark even caressed your hair with his small hands, and you have a video that captured that moment. You watched it again, smiling though your eyes are red and teary. You miss him. The thought of not having him around for your birthday hurt you.

You saw that there are no pads left and let out a long sigh. You put on your hat that Mark gave you as a birthday present and put on your slippers. You then go out your door and decided to buy some pads.

Usually, Mark would buy it for you but— ugh! Stop it with the Mark thing.

"Here's your order. Have a nice day," The lovely lady working the cashier register say to you. You smile through the pain you're going through, wanting to step out before a oh-so familiar voice register.

"Y/N?"

It's no doubt it's Mark Lee's voice. You can see through the side of your eye that he's currently looking right at you with his worried sad eye with his right hand holding a cola.

You don't know what to do. So you run through the door, ignoring Mark's shout of your name as he chases you. It's like the game of chase you two used to play back in elementary school. You cry, you really don't know why but you cry. Passing your house, you run to the park and decided to catch your breath by sitting at one of the slides. You and Mark used to play at that slide all the time until you both grew up.

You look everywhere, and close your eyes when Mark isn't in your sight anymore. You stay in that position for 3 minutes, and when you open your eyes. You almost jump from your seat as you see Mark squatting in front of you sitting in the slide with teary eyes.

"Why— why are you avoiding me?" His voice breaks as he turns away from you, and you can clearly see him wiping away his tears before looking at you with eyes that you swear can make anybody cry. So you become teary eyed as well.

"I'm not." You reply shortly, before standing up to go back to your house. He snorts out of disbelief. "Sit down, Y/N. We're not done talking and if this is the last— if this is— if this is the— if this is the last time we're talking, I don't want it to be an open ending."

You really can't believe that word. You want to just cry your eyes out for 100 years after hearing that word, so you sit down. You want closure as well.

"I know damn well that you're avoiding me. And I really don't know what I did to make you piss off like that. Heck, Y/N, I was jokingly strangling you as we watch Doctor Strange and we were laughing like crazy as well. At some point you even drank a portion of my iced americano. I don't know what I could've done to make you ignore me after all that fun. And I'm honestly so.. I don't know anymore. I'm so sad, Y/N. Mom said she never saw me cry this much. I can't even dare to say that you're ignoring me just because I don't believe that word. Just tell me why are you avoiding me? Am I not good enough as a friend? What am I lacking so much that you decide to ignore me? Why do you do all that while you're here looking as hurt as I am and—"

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!" There. You say it. You blurt it out loud. Whatever. You don't care anymore. You are in your most vulnerable and raw feeling and you don't even care anymore.

He closes his mouth. He looks at you with some expression you don't even know what it means. But you continue your words as tears flow from your eyes, "I love you, Mark. I love you since forever. I know you don't feel the same, so I'm taking a step back. I don't wanna be your friend anymore. I don't think I physically and mentally can. It's for the both of us. That way, whenever you have another girl it'll be easy for me, for you, and for your girlfriend. Just please let me be. I'm gonna go home. I don't want you to follow me. Let's just pretend we don't know each other and let me enjoy this heartbreak in peace for God's sake. Please just— please," You stop talking as tears and emotions just stream through your whole body.

"Y/N.." He says. And you just can't anymore. You walk away.

You walk for 11 seconds before his hands reaches you. You shout. You literally shout. You told him not to follow you anymore, what is he trying to do? Stop fixing a friendship that literally cannot be fixed anymore!

"STOP IT!" You screamed. You looked at his eyes with anger until you catch his sad, teary glares.

"Y/N, hear me out. Please?" He says. And after a few thoughts, you decides that he can have a few say in this situation.

"I love you too," He says, smiling through his tears as he hugs you. You're puzzled— standing there and doing nothing as he hugs you close, brushing your hair with his hand, kissing the top of your head as he takes a breath of your scent he missed.

"W-what?"

He laughed, eyes still in tears as he let go of the hug but still intertwining both your hands together. "I love you too. I loved you since elementary school or something like that. Then you had a crush for stupid Choi Hyunsuk in college and I found another girl in college. But even then I realise that my number one, my Mom excluded— has always been you. So then I love you again, up until this moment. You should've just communicated this and not cut me off. That's not nice, baby."

Baby.

Baby.

Baby.

The nickname rings through your head, all the way to your heart because it starts beating unrealistically fast.

"What?"

He laughs again. "Just... I love you. Do you maybe wanna be my girlfriend then?"

You never say yes so fast.

And there it was.

Your birthday.

"Are you really going to spend it without me this year?" He ask as you two eats your favorite cake; a Lotus Biscoff Cookie Cake.

"Yep. That was my plan, until.."

"Until?" He asks with a teeth-showing smile and one eyebrow up. "Well.. until this." You reply, kissing him as you hug him tight.

You can't believe it, but he's all yours.

author's note: HELLOOOO EVERYONEEE! TvT THANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR READING!! Please do tell me your opinions and thought and whether or not you like a second part where it shows more of Mark and Y/N's relationship 🥺 have a good year wherever you are!! stay healthy and eat well peeps!

#mark lee fluff #mark lee scenarios #mark lee x reader #mark lee x you #nct mark lee #lee mark #nct dream fluff #nct dream scenarios #nct dream #nct dream x you #nct 127 scenarios #nct 127 x you #nct 127 #mark lee #mark lee angst #mark fluff #mark lee smut #mark smut #nct dream smut #nct imagines #nct #nct mark #nct fluff #nct angst #nct x you #nct scenarios #nct fanfic #nct smut #nct 127 smut

[mattybraps10]

Summer Sun's Calling My Name

pairing: Trevor Zegras x Model!Reader

overview: Y/n spends her summer at the beach with Trevor.

by: M

yourusername

liked by anaheimducks, trevorzegras, and others

yourusername searching for inspiration <3

view all comments

trevorzegras hey 👀 liked by yourusername

user1 trevor???

jamiedrysdale06 dude?

leocarlssoon beach weather

user2 love!!

liked by yourusername

user3 the last slide???

user4 literallyyyy!!! why is no one talking ab it?

yourusername

liked by jamiedrysdale06, lhughes_06, and others

yourusername found it xx

view all comments

lhughes_06 visiting when???

yourusername soon i swear

user2 why didn't i know they know eachother???

user3 y/n grew up in michigan! liked by yourusername

jamiedrysdale06 so this is why you couldn't go to disney????

user5 omg???

user6 wait... what's the inspo???

trevorzegras

liked by jamiedrysdale06, jackhughes, and others

trevorzegras feels like summer

view all comments

lukehughes_06 when do we meet the girl?

yourusername yeah trev... when do we meet her?

user1 trev???

jamiedrysdale_06 just hard launch so i can stop hearing ab her.

user3 yo... wait that's actually so cute??

leocarlssoon doubles tennis when?

liked by trevorzegras

yourusername

liked by trevorzegras, jackhughes, and others

yourusername 🔒

view all comments

jackhughes oh he's down so bad

yourusername i like 'em that way

jamiedrysdale06 photo creds for the third one?!?

liked by yourusername

lukehughes_06 am i the only single one?!

user2 i can fix that 😊

comments for this post have been limited.

yourusername and trevorzegras

liked by jackhughes, colecaufield, and others

yourusername my forever <3

view all comments

trevorzegras me + you = ❤️

user7 omg

jamiedrysdale06 finally!

jackhughes that's what i'm saying

lhughes_06 am i actually the only one who had no idea?? liked by yourusername and trevorzegras

user13 @ lhughes_06 third wheel confirmed?!?

liked by yourusername

user10 NOT Y/N LIKING THAT

lhughes_06 they hate me! liked by trevorzegras

user11 HELP?!?!?

anaheimducks can't wait to see you at games y/n!!

liked by yourusername

yourusername can't wait to be there!!

#trevor zegras #trevor zegras x reader #trevor zegras insta edit #anaheim ducks #nhl players #insta edit

[dayslynthesix]

Slice | Daniel Ricciardo x tennis player reader | part 2

laurencaspari

liked by redbullracing, maxverstappen1, dannielricciardo, ccaspari, yrossibutton and 455.233 others

laurencaspari time to see my boy doing his big boy shit, thank you redbullracing for the invitation, it was amazing to see 20 cars going vroom vroom for 3 days

danielricciardo im working my ass out for you

laurencaspari i want you to win, who do i have to bribe?

redbullracing good to see you here, lauren!

danielricciardo adm, that's my girl, go get one for yourself

elisebutton that's interesting, daniel brought my wife to the race and didn't tell me

maxverstappen1 take good care of my car, mate, I'll need it next year

user1 so it is true daniel will be driving max's car for the rest of the season?

user2 fast cars for a live

user3 i love how they appear to have 0 brain cells

user4 charles better watch his back because lis is coming for lauren

charles_leclerc im watching my back! but it is very difficult to compete with a wimbledon, rolland garros & etc champion!!!

elisebutton i love yaaaaaa

laurencaspari lis, i think is time for us to get divorced 😫

danielricciardo

liked by redbullracing, landonorris, maxverstappen1, laurencaspari, ccaspari, jensonbutton and 766.877 others

danielricciardo wow wow wow, it felt amazing to drive this car. thank you max for letting me have this one for a few days, thank you RedBull for the amazing work this weekend, thank you to my favorite tennis girl and thank you lis, it was amazing to share the podium with youuu, 1-2 for the bulls, LET'S GOOOOOO 🥇🥈

redbullracing good to have you back, danny ric, it was amazing to see you at the highest spot at the podium.

laurencaspari HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA YOU DID IT!!! (i didn't understand half of what happened but im very proud of you)

laurencaspari wow i date a formula one champ 😍

elisebutton hey max verstappen watch your back, danny ric is coming for ya, well done mate! im very happy to share that podium with you and it was amazing fighting you on track

maxverstappen1 well done, mate, im very happy to see you happy

charles_leclerc owntttt 😍😍

elisebutton 😍😍😍

laurencaspari 😍😍😍 hubbies

landonorris sorry to broke your trophy 🤭

user5 i love how she doesn't know anything anout f1 but every time the camera was on her she was screaming "go daniel"

user6 girl is just like us, if i was dating danny ric i would wear his merch all around

user7 tennis + f1 is what i need

laurencaspari

liked by redbullracing, usopen, cota, danielricciardo, ccaspari, priyacaspari, lewishamilton and 634.777 others

laurencaspari girls trip with my sisters (and lis) + trying to teach the boys how to play tennis & tequila, obviously

charles_leclerc i think I'm ready to the australian open

laurencaspari sure, lets do it!

jensonbutton oh god

laurencaspari hey jenson, hope to see you in austin!

elisebutton i didn't liked the parenthesis 😭 what happened with our marriage??

laurencaspari you're not my sister, you're my wife!

priyacaspari the last few days of break before the season starts, looking forward to see you go to see me in turkey

danielricciardo she already bought one of the team jerseys

danielricciardo i dont feel ready to play the australian open bae 🤨

elisebutton i think you and charles would be amazing pairing each other 🤭

maxverstappen1 what about my invitation?

laurencaspari I CALLED YOU AND YOU DIDN'T ANSWERED

maxverstappen1 who in 2023 calls people???

user8 so i think we have some new tennis talents on the market, looking forward to see this dude charles leclerc and daniel ricciardo playing the aussie open

user9 i love how max is third wheeling for charles and lis and daniel and lauren, go king!

user10 someone asked lauren who was the most handsome driver at the qatar gp and she didn't even think about it and shouted jenson button so loud that the entire garage looked at her, that's my girl

user11 where's redbullracing adm?

danielricciardo 🤨🤨🤨

redbullracing big boss said im not allowed to crush his girl

user12 lauren is collecting friendship with drivers like pokemons

danielricciardo

liked by redbullracing, maxverstappen1, laurencaspari, landonorris and 766.098 others

danielricciardo finishing the season with a p1 felt amazing, love driving this beast. thank you redbullracing, i missed you a lot, now is just me and my girl (and my girl girls), see ya in march f1

laurencaspari this one i understand what was going on, victories suit you, my love ❤

redbullracing was very good to have you back, danny ric!

elisebutton big congrats, honey badger, you deserved it!

charles_leclerc im never ever again in my life will do a shoey, ill crash my car into the closest bridge before that

danielricciardo sorry, i cant hear you, the phone call is very bad

elisebutton that's because we're on the hospital YOU GAVE MY BOYFRIEND A STOMACH BUG

laurencaspari so that means that the first week of break is just us?

charles_leclerc no, im feeling much better! 🤗

maxverstappen1 i miss fighting you on track, let's see if we can do that next year

laurencaspari ill adulterate that power unit myself just for that

user12 they're so cute, i cant

user13 it took lauren just 4 races to learn everything she could about formula one

jensonbutton she had a great teacher. me. i was her teacher. and trust me, she asked the most suffering questions.

elisebutton dad, now she knows that a f1 car does have a reverse gear

user14 i just know that they break wont be just theirs

danielricciardo yeah, it wont, max already knocking on my dor and lis is on the phone with laure and charles is already with the boat 😬

user15 youre going on a boat trip??? its winter????

danielricciardo were going to brazil!!

user15 on a boat????

jensonbutton i wasn't familiar with that plan

charles_leclerc trust the process 🤗

#danny ric #daniel ricciardo #redbull #daniel ricciardo imagine #formula 1 #formula one imagine #formula one social au #f1 imagine #tennis imagine #tennis #dr3 #redbull daniel ricciardo

[actuallyastingray]

Hello Supablr. Sorry this took forever, but I've been working on a follow up project once I'm done with these. More on that later, so for now just enjoy the takes

Skarra: Feral, cackling gremlin trying to pretend he's not empty inside. Needs a hug, possibly several hugs, but is too afraid of cooties to ask. He's either going to have a Prince Zuko level redemption or go full Anakin Skywalker

Dingaan: Dammit Dingaan! You can't be both the lovable, clueless himbo and dumb, jock bully at the same time. Pick one!

Automatic: So, if we ever get a Rookie Season 2, are we gonna see him become the third wheel in Skarra and Shakes' rivalry? Cause no joke, this guy lost his job to Shakes and has way more reason to hate him than Skarra does

Max Power: I'm not a shipper, but why are there no pairings between him and Shakes? I mean, technically there's two of him, but still

Dooma: Oh Dooma, Dooma, Dooma. The writers made such a big deal about bringing you back, and then they promptly forgot about you. Guess upstaging Skarra really isn't all that easy.

Uber: Somehow, a 6.5, 300+ lb. German muscle man is giving me more babygirl vibes then a Sailor Moon character. Also, it's hilarious when you realize he outranks his coach.

Ja Nein: The rarely seen lovechild between adorkableness and pure evil. The "first day at the unit" meme was invented for this guy specifically.

Thor: If he grows a beard, we can call him Odin

Von Eye: Why did it take me four seasons to realize his name is a pun? What is wrong with me?

Chuck: Seriously, I want to see this guy succeed. I want him train up his team, pull off a win, and feel good about it just so he can tell Toni to screw off

John Johnson: The most loveable himbo in a team that consists of equally loveable himbos

Miko Chen: The only thing not completely wholesome about him is how little screen time he gets. That's about as shameful as Ura-Giri's strategies.

De los Santos: He really needs his own Boss theme, but does that make him the bad guy? Cause lets face it, he's not the bad guy

Don Aldo: That's not how hair physics works

Ninja: The second most absent arch-rival in my history of watching cartoons. At least they both brought him back and gave him an identity as El Matador's rival. Still wish we got to see more of the tigers

Liquido: Ten years ago, if I told myself I would one day describe someone as a "sociopathic surfer-dude" I would start to question my own sanity

Andre Meda: His name is an astronomy pun, his team uses constellations as a secret formation code, and his coach has them train in outer space. This guy is a huge closet nerd, and you can't change my mind.

Vladmir Savich: They made a few half-baked attempts to make him a villain and the fanbase is having none of it. Good for him.

Riano: WHY IS THERE NOT MORE CONTENT OF HIM AND SHAKES BEING FRIENDS? They were such good friends, and we have like zero content to prove it. Do the writers not realize how much of a foil he could have been to Skarra? Riano and Shakes being best friends, and Skarra is feeling like he's been replaced, thus hating Shakes even more. Sorry for the long rant but c'mon Moonbug, this guy had so much potential

#supablr #personal take #supa strikas

[barbieaiden]

2. [Doorbell rings]

3. Kell: Sam. Fuck. Uh. I totally forgot you were coming. Sorry about the mess, I was going to clean.

Sam: Were you sleeping?

Kell: Yeah, but I should've probably woken up, like, 9 hours ago so it's a good thing you came.

4. Sam: I can help you clean.

Kell: Yeah, no, that's not happening, I would die from embarrassment. Sorry if it's smokey in here, I don't want to give you an asthma attack.

Sam: No, it's fine.

5. Sam: Are you okay?

Kell: Not at all.

Sam: Did something happen?

Kell: Well, I don't know if you know this, but one of my closest friends got himself into a coma?

Sam: Very funny.

Kell: Then it's been downhill from there. How is he? Aiden?

Sam: He's, um...

6. Sam: I don't know. He's acting like the whole thing was just nothing.

Kell: To be fair, he was unconscious the whole time so it was probably nothing to him. Plus, this isn't his first drug-related medical emergency, is it? You, however, were a wreck. Like a total mess.

Sam: I'm sorry, next time my fiancé is in a coma I'll think of being more presentable.

Kell: Good.

7. Kell: No seriously, pretty understandable with the situation and all. I'm glad things turned out the way they did, I'd have no one to get high with if Aiden died.

Sam: Kellan.

Kell: I'm kidding. Also, it wasn't weed that got him into a coma, Sam.

8. Kell: Seriously, though, actually seriously this time, I get it. I mean, I was a wreck too. Honestly, I don't know what I would've done if Aiden died.

9. Kell: Especially not like that. The waiting was the worst, not knowing if he'd be okay or not. I mean, I don't know about you but I had some hope he'd live, but still.

Sam: [Shakes head]

Kell: You didn't think he'd live? Like, at all?

10. Sam: ...no.

11. Kell: In other news, my date last weekend was so bad. Unimaginably bad. Easily top 3 list bad.

Sam: You have a list of your worst dates?

Kell: Well, Sam, some of us aren't super fucking lucky and randomly meet the love of our lives one day. I have to gamify it to maintain my sanity. She was really nice, though, it was my fault. I just wanted to go home the entire time.

12. Sam: Let me know if I can help.

Kell: With dating? You might be in a long-term relationship but you're not qualified.

Sam: No? You know what I meant.

Kell: Dude, you're literally the last person I'd unload my emotional baggage on right now. I'm more likely to do it to Aiden. Aiden.

Sam: Kell, you are not making me feel better.

Kell: I'm not trying to. I'm giving you a reality check.

13. Sam: I don't need a reality check, I'm well aware I've been a mess.

Kell: You literally went straight from a mental breakdown to taking care of Aiden.

Sam: Yes? He was in a coma? He's my fiancé? We live together?

Kell: Okay, now you're just making me feel lonely. You're literally third wheeling me and Aiden's not even here.

Sam: You brought it up!

Kell: Oh. Right.

14. Kell: Have you slept in the past week, by the way? Because it doesn't look like it.

Sam: I have. This is just what I look like.

Kell: It's not.

Sam: Yes, it is. You're just insulting me now.

15. Kell: My point is, you let me know if I can help you.

Sam: You could have phrased it in a nicer way.

16. Sam: Can we talk about something else? I'm getting tired of coma related conversations.

Kell: Oh, for sure. I can tell you about my worst dates list and you can laugh at me. I have it written down and everything.

Sam: What?

Kell: Yeah, with details. Do you want to see?

Sam: ...sure.

#me: idk if i'll mention that kell's trans in the story anytime soon so friendly reminder that he is #meanwhile giant trans flag in the background of this entire thing #something happened with the lighting halfway through this but i am not interested in fixing it lmao sorryyyyyy #just read the text it's fine #ts4 story #drugs cw #lost #lost: sam #lost: kell

[ilovewriting06]

Always Been His

A/N: This is part two of this fic and it was requested by @allisonargent144.

------------------------------------------------------

Everyone was sitting around Derek's loft for pack night, a new tradition to build up everyone's connection and trust with the others of the pack. Originally, Chris and I weren't going to be a part of it but Allison started dating Scott and joined the pack so Chris and I decided to join too. The pack is mostly teenagers who got the bite for different reasons, except for Scott, Allison, and Stiles. Maybe, Lydia, but she hasn't officially joined the pack yet, but I have a feeling she will soon enough.

Scott was forced to take the bite, Allison joined for love, and Stiles, sweet baby Stiles did it out of loyalty. Out of everyone in the pack, other than Allison, Stiles has to be my favorite. I'm sarcastic by nature and Chris isn't so it's fun to be able to banter with someone. I feel like I've adopted him and Scott as my sons since they're at my house more than they are their own.

Scott and Allison are always, 'studying,' or watching movies and Stiles is dragged along because Scott doesn't have a car to drive. After realizing Stiles literally sat at our dining room table and did schoolwork or research while his two best friends did fun stuff I took pity on the boy and kept him company, that's how I figured out he's the brains of the pack.

I'm also trying to set him up with Lydia, his long term crush, and it's become my mission to get them together so Stiles is no longer the third wheel and actually has some happiness. He's also surprisingly good with children. After I gave birth to Aria, he was a huge help, he won't change diapers but that's about the only thing he won't do. Even Chris likes him and Scott, he just won't admit it.

In my opinion Scott and Allison are absolutely adorable. He adores her and treats her like a princess and Allison loves him more than most people would think possible at her age. In some ways they remind me of Chris and I when we were in high school.

The first time Chris met Scott as Allison's boyfriend it was a bit rocky and Scott looked like he was going to shit himself at any given moment, I have to hand it to him though, I was impressed at how well he handled it.

Chris pulled every page out of every book he's got and was impressed but also annoyed that Scott handled it all so well. Do you want a drink? Oh no sir, I don't drink. You want a smoke? No thank you, I never want to smoke, the smell makes me sick. Do you want to have sex with my daughter? Uh, I feel like that's a trick question, sir. I say yes, I'm dead, I say no and you'll think I don't want her or something. I'll just say that at the moment no, in the future, probably.

I almost jumped across the table to give him a hug but I was too busy gloating to Chris about how I was right and the boy really was a sweetheart. After Scott left and Allison had went to bed I asked Chris what he thought, he answered by saying, and I quote, "She could do worse." In Chris talk that means, 'I like him, he's a good kid'.

Similar to Stiles, Scott isn't afraid to help with Aria, in fact he adores her. I think him and Stiles both secretly wanted a younger sibling and when Aria was born they adopted her as their sister. I can't complain because between the armory in our garage, Scott's fangs and claws, and Stiles' bat, Aria is one safe little girl.

I hum and rock Aria to sleep as I watch the kids play a game of Monopoly, a little worried a fight's about to break loose because Isaac is convinced Stiles is cheating and Stiles keeps responding with, "Dude! If I was cheating I'd be in charge of the money because I could skim off of it without anyone noticing." Or, my personal favorite, "Oh my god, stop acting like a little bitch because you can't manage your money. There's a reason I have cool flannels and a jeep and you have ugly ass scarves and a bike. Suck it up and pay up, you're on Boardwalk and I own that shit, gimme."

I snort at the last one as Chris bites back a laugh and leans over, "I see why you like him, he's sassy. Do you want anything to drink?"

I nod, "Yeah, a water please." He nods and heads towards the kitchen as I smirk when I notice the small, yet noticeable look Lydia throws Stiles when the latter rips the money out of Isaac's hand with a, "Thank you! Now, go back to Baltic Avenue. Bastard. I swear those scarves stop your brain from functioning sometimes."

I look up in confusion when the door to the loft open's but before I can turn around a voice I wished I'd never hear again speaks, "Nephew, I didn't know you were having friend's over."

Derek roles his eyes from his spot on the couch, "Makes sense since you weren't invited."

I bite back a noise of amusement hoping he doesn't notice me but my luck sucks and he's standing in front of me before Chris can get back to me, "Well, hello Darling, it's good to see you."

I roll my eyes as Chris comes to stand by me, "Wish I could say the same."

He rolls his eyes before sneering at Chris and looking back at me, "I see you still associate with the enemy."

I scowl and tuck Aria closer to my chest feeling the need to protect her, "He's only the enemy because he got what you wanted, and I have to say, I am so glad I never wasted a second on you."

He growls and Chris steps a little closer and I notice Derek stand from the corner of my eye. I glance at Aria when she makes a discontented noise and I glare at Peter, "I swear, if you wake her up..." I leave the threat hang in the air which makes Peter growl louder, and that one does wake Aria, and boy does she wake up with a start.

I get off the couch as Aria starts screaming throwing one last glare at Peter before walking away so I have enough space to walk around. However, once again I'm cut off by Peter materializing out of fucking nowhere. I groan as Aria keeps crying, "Peter, leave me and my family alone. I have two kids, four if you count the two stragglers Allison brought home, and I'd really like for them to remain safe, and to be honest, I'm terrified you'll hurt one of them to get to me. So, please leave."

Aria seems to start crying louder and I can faintly hear Peter ranting and raving but I'm to busy trying to soothe my baby to pay attention but I do hear the word divorce, which makes me roll my eyes. I finally zone in when Derek roars at him, "Get out, Peter! You aren't welcome here when they're here. You have an unhealthy obsession with her and it has to stop! She's married, with kids!"

Chris comes to stand in front of me as Peter's eyes glow blue before he growls at Derek, "I can make them all disappear, and I'll do it too if it means I get her!"

I squeeze Aria even tighter to me as Chris pushes me back slightly but it's all for nothing when Derek swings and knocks Peter out with one punch. He stands above his mentally deranged uncle as his eyes remain red, "You guys should go. I don't know what I'm going to do with him but I don't want to take the chance that he'll wake up when you guys are still here."

I nod before grabbing Chris's hand, "Come on Chris. Let's get the kid's home. At that Allison jumps up followed by Scott and Stiles. I glance at them before sighing, "Boys, you should probably go home."

Stiles scoffs, "Hell no Mrs. A. He just threatened you and Aria, besides Scott will be able to sense him if he's close to the house."

I glance at Chris and he nods and I smile, "Okay, you two can come stay over but Scott, you don't go into Allison's room unless Stiles is with you or the door is open."

They all nod in agreement before following us out the door.

----------------------------------------------------------

It's well past midnight when Derek texts that Peter won't be an issue anymore and I'm not interested in what that means but I trust Derek enough to believe we've seen the last of Peter. I slowly get off the couch and tiptoe over the bodies on the floor that accumulated throughout the evening.

As I grab a glass of water I feel arms circle my waist as I look at the mass of teenagers sprawled across the living room floor. I lean into the solid chest behind me as I whisper, "I feel like we've adopted six extra kids, and I can't really be mad about it. They're all good kids, they all just have a few flaws, but hey, so do we."

Chris chuckles as he places a kiss on the top of my head, "Yeah, they're good kids. I can't believe I'm saying this but I feel safer with all of them around." I nod in agreement before excitedly whispering, "Did you see Stiles and Lydia?"

He shakes his head and buries his head in my neck, "You're ridiculous."

I roll my eyes continuing to smile, "But Chris, they're cuddling!"

#teen wolf #scott mccall #allison argent #chris argent #stiles stilinski #chris argent x reader #derek hale #isaac lahey #peter hale

[midnightsunnyday]

Spoiler warnings for the Shout Your Heart Out Devilgram but...

for those of you who expected a good romantic romp with Diavolo after being given literally crumbs these last two seasons...

The entire Devilgram is nothing but you third wheeling as Diavolo reads from an entire scroll, in front of an entire audience, how amazing Lucifer is. That's it. That's the story. Dude is literally just listing off every quality Lucifer has and at the very end, all MC is treated with is what essentially feels like to me, a pity kiss.

And considering that NB has significantly decreased in its romance, I couldn't help but feel cheated. Like, who is this for? Clearly, the DiaLuci shippers, but Lucifer behaves so indifferently to Diavolo, that it even drops the ball on that. It especially fucks up the DiaMC moment by having our entire existence in that story serve as a fucking wingman for another character.

I already ranted about this with a few others on Reddit, but the entire Devilgram just left a sour taste in my mouth, and it's gotten to the point where sometimes I can't tell whether Diavolo's obsession with Lucifer is written for laughs or purely romantic, but I'm tired, y'all. I don't even know if it's right to call it queerbaiting or not, but Diavolo says so many off the wall things about Lucifer that it's hard to interpret his feelings as anything less than friendship. Either say the quiet part out loud or stop waisting my emotions in believing these characters actually care about romancing me, seeing as you've been lacking in that aspect for MONTHS.

And I know this sounds so fickle, but as a yumejoshi we rarely get games like this where an MC is non-descriptive with the ability to self insert as we please. Despite what you assume, otome players don't tend to self ship. Most enjoy reading the story seperate from the MC and that's a pretty large sum of people in that fandom. This story is literally a slap in the face to that.

Lilke, tell me the truth, y'all. Am I overreacting? Is it crazy to assume that an otome game, or what advertises itself as an otome game, should focus on the MC and their relationship with the LIs? And if you weren't going to make Diavolo a serious romantic option, then why make him an LI to begin with? Frankly, he was better off as a nondatable because it doesn't even feel like he gives a shit about the MC. At least in the OG game, there was a balance. Now we don't even have that.

Like, fine. Give the people their fanservice, but it just feels shitty that in a game where the point is to romance characters and have them love you, you're treated as an afterthought by the characters you're suppose to be dating.

#obey me #obey me mc #obey me lucifer #obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #obey me diavolo #obey me devilgram #possible dialuci #i dont know anymore #at the risk of sounding crazy with this post but idk im just tired of the writers clearly doing this #like it's very blatant at this point #like that's not your friend lol

[haptureratch]

Bitch, You Need Therapy

Pairing: Johnny Knoxville x Reader (afab)

Others: Chris Pontius, Steve-O

Word count: approx. 4.5k

Synopsis: You’re part of the crew, temporarily filling in and enjoying it immensely. You are filming something overseas. Knoxville finds out you have a crush on him and decides to fuck with your stressed little self until he gets carried away in the moment.

WARNINGS/tags: NC-17, minors DNI, adult language, alcohol (technical lack of consent), soft allusions to hard drugs, oral sex, genital penetration, THE DOUBLE MEANING OF LIPS, kinks galore (praise, rough, petnames, things I don’t have a word for)

Notes from the author: Yeah idk he just seems like a playful bastard that might be hiding a kinky streak. Not tied to any specific period of Jackass filming so reader can take some creative liberties (the least I can do when I am dictating reader’s entire personality lmao). Knoxville is single in this world; it’s all fun & fantasy. This work has not been officially reviewed apart from one of my best friends giving enthusiastic approval early on. But I’ve read over it a hundred times while writing it SO DAMN SLOWLY, so hopefully it is okay. There are purposeful tense changes and I hope they hit the way I'm intending. Is the whole thing cringe? Maybe; maybe not. Pls let loose & enjoy! I am a long time reader and I’ve had ideas here and there; finally decided it was time to fuck around and find out myself. It’s been way harder than I thought and I have even more respect for my fave fic authors out there. If you know me irl, no you don’t. WITHOUT FURTHER ADIEU~~

Night has been falling earlier and earlier as weeks peel away from Autumn toward the year’s end. It is 7 o’clock in the evening but feels more like 11. Outside the darkness is interrupted by numerous streetlamps along the sidewalk. The lights glow a golden orange, reminding you of the crackling fire in the pub, and you dig your hands into your coat pockets seeking warmth.

“HEY ASSHOLE, why did we leave that cozy fucking place?!” you shout over the wind at one of your walking companions with some frustration. Only some. You’ve had a couple drinks and your speech seems to come out in demanding exclamations regardless of any real anger at that point. And you’re fairly certain any frustration stems from unmet desires directed toward this man and his stupid glinty purple-tinted sunglasses. Sunglasses, which he wore inside the intimately lit pub and which he is still wearing outside at night. What a jackass.

A different, unsunglasses’d man answered. “Because adventure calls! Sure, it’s cold out. But not cold enough to get frostbite. The call to adventure must be heeded even in the face of Ice Queen Mother Nature. Like the Russian Police, she’s stern. Stern…but fair,” he announced with omnipotence. Everyone in the group seemed dead set on committing crimes this evening. This one was guilty of venturing out in 20-some degree weather without a coat or sweater or torso cover of any kind. Just a fluffy scarf and a Santa hat. Another jackass, you thought. But that’s why you jumped at the chance to work with these people. It was an invigorating break from the mundane. And the group oozed fun; to be in the same room as any of them was to know friendship and laughter.

You smiled genuinely at him. Despite the cold and questionable decisions, he still inspired affection. “Thanks, as always, Pontius, for the exceptional pep talk but I think I was asking—”

“DUDE WHERE IS MY SKATEBOARD?!?!!” screeched a third man’s voice. He’d definitely had the most to drink out of the group so far this evening and crime was written all over him. Good ol’ Steve-O. Nothing more to be said about him.

Sunglasses finally spoke up. “I decided against anything with wheels for this and threw it in the back of the van, Steve-O. We can come back in the daytime tomorrow for skate shots. There are a lot less lights the farther in the park we go.”

“Knox, you IDIOT, I’m planning on being so fucking hungover tomorrow! I’m on my GAME now, man, you shoulda brought it!” He bent down to gather up two fists of snow, mash them together, and hurl the mass toward Johnny.

“If you want it so bad, go back an’ get it!” He grinned while dodging the poorly aimed snowball and jumped over to rap Steve-O on the ass with the back of his hand. This garnered a slow, deep, huffy giggling from Pontius. It was less of a giggle, more of a devious huh-huh-huh. It sounded like something you’d hear in the boys’ locker room but if it came from the throat of a grown man.

The little spanking sparked a quick scuffle between Steve-O and Johnny. After nearly slipping and falling, he gave up on trying to fuck with the taller man and hardened his resolve to skate in the snow. “UGH! I’ll be back…” After a beat of wily consideration he added, “Or not!” Steve-O then darted off in the direction of the pub, almost slipped again, and slowed his stumbling gait. If he was headed toward booze he was probably going to get another round. A round of…something.

Chris and Johnny shared a look and the Santa-hatted one asked, “Who’s going with him? It’s law that we use the buddy system in all foreign lands, especially when we don’t want to get arrested. More arrested than we get when the cameras are rolling. Those times are okay.”

Johnny spoke first. “I’ll stay to map out where Jeff thinks we can get the money shots. Y/N probably needs to mess with the camera settings.”

“Actually, yeah,” you uttered, reviving from a slight stupor of quiet observation and remembering your role in all of this. “This would be our first night footage of the trip and I haven’t experimented with the exposure or what type of flash I can—”

“Okay nerd on, genius, I’ll go,” Chris interrupted. He smiled and bowed himself out in the direction of Steve-O and the pub.

“Better hurry, Pontius! Something tells me the board ain’t the priority now,” Johnny called out. You watched as the smoke from his breath dissipated into the cold and the two of you continued away from what seemed like the rest of civilization.

********

The other men gone from sight, your physical awareness of Johnny dialed up. Though he was lean, he seemed to exude heat through his black peacoat. Maybe you were imagining things. But you dared to draw a couple inches closer to assess. He slowed his gait and you veered right back over and even sped up a little. You thought you heard a quiet laugh come from his side of the path.

‘Dammit, Y/N, fucking stay focused,’ you thought to yourself. You can’t give them anything to get you on; it was more important to you than any legal trouble. You were here to relieve Lance after one too many trips involving vomit-on-the-camera incidents. You had a job to do, you had creative input to offer, and you didn’t have to let on that you found one of the guys so hot you couldn’t stand it. That fact could be kept firmly TO YOURSELF. The need to keep it a secret almost hyped it up to an obsession. You found yourself stealing photos during planning sessions, when you were 95% certain that no one would notice. Since you were such a dedicated crew member, the team assumed you were experimenting with angles or compiling a look-book or something.

Sure, you took candids of everyone. But the most recurring subject by far was Johnny Knoxville. There were the obvious features that caught your eye, mostly when he laughed, all white teeth and crow’s feet. After a while you noticed how he stood kind of funny, whether that was from past back injuries, weak glutes, or a touch of valgus knee deformity you weren’t sure. It didn’t at all detract from the beauty of those long legs or the defined torso they led up to. Certainly didn’t ruin his painfully (for you) deep iliac furrows smack dab in the middle of it all. And you weren’t going to get started on his arms or shoulders or jawline. He really took your love for anatomy and smacked you upside the head with it. He was art and you were insane.

Your stupid little fangirl crush even had you calling him ‘Johnny Knoxville’ in your head instead of PJ. It was like how you still called your teachers ‘Mr/Ms/Mx’ after graduating from school, even though they gave you permission to be on a first-name basis. It was hard to get comfortable with others like that. Another reason why you wanted this chance at a different work environment even if it was just temporary. You sorely needed to relax, Y/N. Unclench your jaw, take a breath, stop the shoulders from migrating upwards, and just keep walking. Sometimes the set of Jackass was not the ideal setting to work on those goals—all of those damn pranks—but…

“Lost in thought, puddin’?” you heard in your ear. You didn’t so much hear them as felt the words slap your skin from behind, the shock of wet heat in the cold air startling you. The streetlamps brightened in your peripheral vision.

You spun around and couldn’t help the nervous fake-laugh that escaped. “Oh, uh, yeah, you could say that. Just handling a lot of little things right now. Like the jet-lag, that European alcohol hitting a little stronger, the cold being colder here somehow, filming schedule, the list goes on, man." You hoped adding 'man’ would lend the illusion of you being chill, cool, totally not in fight-or-flight mode a moment ago.

It didn’t. There was an awkward silence as he stood facing you. Behind the shades you couldn’t see the mischief in his eyes as he planned out where he was going to take this. To you it just looked like staring. ‘Fucking dammit,’ you swore at yourself, ‘I don’t know if he KNOWS knows but he knows something is up. Agh, focus on work, FOCUS ON WORK.’

You cleared your throat, pulled namaste out of your ass, and shifted the power of the interaction back on your side with, “Hey, why don’t you stand over by that statue and help me with shot composition.”

“Yes, boss, on the double!” His tone was playfully condescending as he headed over to the metal figure, an unknown man outlined in snow. “Anything for you, sweetheart.” He let the last word drag out lower and slower than the rest. You had to fight your dead brain to let you breathe again. He was going to fuck with you, alright, and it was going to happen tonight. But for his own fun, no cameras in sight other than yours. There was always a chance of one of those goofy assholes hiding in a bush, but your gut told you there were none. No one else was going to be around for this, but you weren’t sure how thankful you were. You were flooded with several thoughts at once. How far would he go? How far did you want him to go? Did Jackass have HR? What was their policy on a creator/actor doing unspeakable things to a camera person with his mouth? Could the van be moved for about 90 minutes tonight without anyone knowing? Was he all dom or a switch? How easy would it be to get him to giggle during a blowjob?

Fuck. Focus.

‘FUCK,’ you thought as, for some ungodly reason, Knox put his tongue to the statue’s ear. The side of your neck began to tingle where his breath had been several minutes ago; memory is a powerful thing. You shook your head to regroup.

“Better pray you don’t end up like that kid in A Christmas Story,” you deadpanned.

He looked away and called out toward the woods at the edge of the park, “Nah, I’m too wet for that. That…that’s the secret.” You saw his back shuddering slightly, probably with laughter, and tried to see deeper into the trees. Not a soul was detected.

“You’ll be wetter when that statue comes to life and throws you in the river.”

He turned back toward you. “Naw, I think he likes it,” he grinned as wedged his body even closer to the metal and began to run a hand slowly down its torso. For the first time he made eye contact with you over his glasses and you dared not break it while his hand migrated further and further south. “And I think he’s not the only one, darlin’,” he drawled, his tone growing deeper and darker by the second. Two fingers began to lazily graze between the statue’s legs. And, as if that wasn’t enough, his hips ground into what had to be extremely cold and extremely hard metal. He let out a low sigh into the winter air.

This probably lasted just a moment but it felt like an eternity as you stood watching him, unable to do anything else, not quite believing what you were seeing. Your eyes were glued to where you thought his dick was, where you thought you saw an outline begin to show. He kept at it, grinding and sighing and caressing against that fucking statue, only averting his gaze to let his eyes roll back into his head and flutter shut. Which he made sure you could see with the shades slid all the way down the bridge of his nose. The whole thing was insane but you could not stop the cascade of heat and desire from building inside you. It’s like the more it shouldn’t be happening, the more you were into it. You wanted to look around and check for the crew for the umpteenth time but couldn’t tear your eyes from him. Johnny Knoxville was getting freaky on a statue to tease you and you were simmering in your own juices.

Like.

What the actual fuck?

Okay, case closed, he definitely knew.

Uhh… Just try to own it now?

“You know what, you whore?! It’s gonna be really fucking awkward when my underwear freezes out here!”

He finally broke, fell away from the statue, and dissolved into laughter on the ground. You hoped your boldness would recuperate a bit of your cred and he’d back off. (You hoped he wouldn’t back off.)

“The working conditions, here, honestly…” you said as your hands came to your hips.

His maniacal glee, normally adorable when it wasn’t tied up in such a stressful and sexy situation, died out and he regained upright footing. He didn’t bother to brush the snow off his coat or shake out what had peppered his hair. He took off his sunglasses and folded them into the inner pocket of his coat. He smiled down at you and you felt him gently grab your shoulders. “You’re so wound up, Y/N,” he remarked with genuine care in his voice.

The touch and proximity made you stiffen; your arms dropped to your sides. His breath smelled like booze and you wanted to drown in it.

His fingers laced together behind your shoulders and slid down to rest at the small of your back; you instinctively grabbed at his forearms. “Gotta learn how to relax, baby.” He jerked your lower half into him and you could feel that you had not, in fact, been imagining that dick. With that, you felt the last of your good sense rocket away, leaving a long-imprisoned whine in its wake.

He dipped his head down to your ear and growled, “How loud does that kitty purr?”

No words.

No thoughts.

Your head threatened to crack off of your spine but he caught the back of it with one hand, the other snaked firmly around the rest of you, as his lips made contact with your neck. Soft kisses were syncopated with nibbles, the heat of his mouth searing your skin in contrast to the chilly air. His tongue was so wet and so warm against your flesh. You all but dripped for him.

“Van,” you demand.

He takes your hand, grins, and leads you out of the park toward the town.

The two of you make it to the van and he takes space in the driver’s seat. The engine comes to life relatively quietly—thank god for hybrids—and he maneuvers it onto a darkened side street several blocks down. You seem to be surrounded by a bunch of businesses closed down for the night but you also don’t have a single fuck to give now. You slide a hand over the rod in his pants and his lips part with a groan.

Hunger takes hold and you lunge over the console to catch his mouth in a voracious kiss. Tongue and teeth everywhere. Even the smallest hints of pleasure out of this man are going to drive you wild tonight. But you want—you NEED—to savor the experience. The movements of your jaw slow and the space between your lips closes as you center yourself. His lips come together but his breath continues hard and deep through his nose. His eyes are shut tight as if he's exercising control as well. You pepper kisses across his cheek, down his neck, and back up to his ear where you sigh your contentment.

“Mmm, sweetheart, I’m gonna need to hear more of that,” he says low in your ear. Your belly flutters up into your chest and you think you might fall in love, like an idiot.

He kisses you deeply and pulls you with him into the back of the van. The heat of the exchange melts off both your coats. A sleeping bag is found, unzipped, and laid down. Not that the two of you notice the cold all that much, it just seems like the right thing to do in a van that carts around the Jackass crew. He is a bit more discerning than some of his co-stars.

He unzips your pants and slides them down your legs. You sit up to help kick them off along with your shoes. He takes off your shirt, leaving you just in your bra, socks, and panties. You love how exposed you must look and how vulnerable you feel. He looks you in the eye, smirks, looks down at your hips, licks his lips. Your thighs squeeze together with anticipation and your moan spells out your need.

He lowers himself down, still clothed, onto your nearly naked body and lays his lips all over your skin. He slides across you lazily and you can’t stand how good his clothes feel against you. You can’t wait for that dick to be out and in your mouth. It’s how you want to show him how good he’s making you feel. The way he takes the fabric of your panties in his fingertips tells you he has his own priorities.

“May I?”

“May you what?”

He smiles and toys with the bows stitched to the elastic around your hips. He takes the band in his teeth and looks you in the eye as he lets it snap against you.

“Eat out that pretty pussy of yours, doll. It’s all wrapped up for me like a present under the tree.”

You’re not able to make a joke about stealing Chris’s Santa hat. You can only reach down and start to wiggle the remaining cotton off, with which Knox happily helps. The bra and socks follow suit and a cheeky kiss to your foot garners a giggle.

Things get very serious again when he positions his face in front of your heat. He hugs your hips to him and rests his large hands down on you. You can’t help but buck up into the contact when his lips meet yours. His soft, wet tongue feels so fucking good. Your hands find his hair and you rake your nails through it. Every time you look down he’s either got his eyes closed, lids fluttering in the prettiest way, or he’s looking right back at you. Each moan from your mouth elicits self-assured hums from his and it drives you to desperately need more.

“Need you in me, Knox,” you demand.

He looks up at you again with those deep brown eyes and doesn’t say a word.

“Want you in my mouth first. I want to taste that dick.”

He pulls himself up and you all but tear the black and white KNOXVILLE belt through the loops of his Dickies. He frees his hard cock and you pause to take it in with your eyes first.

“It may not be the biggest but right now you got me harder than—aaughh..” The whole rest of him stiffens up and he bites into his knuckles as you take in the tip. He relaxes with a deep sigh as you try to swallow the shaft down and gag when your lips meet his hilt.

‘That’ll do just fine,’ you think to yourself.

You keep it slow to draw it out, slow but deliberate with licking and sucking. You work his cock with your mouth until you lose yourself in the act. You love every single sound this man is making and commit them to memory. And his taste, how the pre-cum doesn’t stop oozing. The way his head is thrown back with his mouth wide open, gasping. How he can’t touch you enough right now. Every few moments you turn your attention to his balls and thighs and that delicious V leading down to it all. The feel and scent of his skin is intoxicating and you’re biting light marks into his flesh. You get so far gone you stop murmuring his name and start to call him Daddy. His cock twitches every time.

He takes a deep, clarifying breath before taking your chin in his hand and speaking, “I’m so ready to slide right in, baby. Will you let Daddy fill you up?”

“Fuck me.”

The van space is tight but you lie down and he holds himself over you, cock at your entrance. You’re practically vibrating with anticipation.

Finally.

He drives the head of his cock slowly into your pussy and the feeling is so warm and sweet and intimate. Birth control be damned; you’ll get emergency contraception in the morning. Your arms and legs wrap around him possessively as he works into a rhythm. You rock your hips with his to catch his cock at the right angle. He finds your mouth in the dark and moans into you as he thrusts. He’s downright fucking you into the floor of the van and strangely you haven’t felt this whole and alive in a long time. Your orgasm is building and building but you want even more of him before you come.

“I wanna ride you, Johnny,” you gasp.

“Thought you’d never ask. Be my guest, doll,” he answers as he pulls out of you and arranges the sleeping bag across the van’s bench. He takes a seat and slaps his thighs with a grin, erection bobbing around invitingly.

You climb on top of him, legs quivering with eagerness, and take just a moment to pause before sinking slowly down onto his cock.

His answering groan draws you against his chest, sighing into him, as you get to work riding. It’s your turn to fuck him into the van.

You both wrap your arms around each other, but no one can get close enough. Thrusting, humping, clawing, kissing, biting, sucking, moaning—the two of you going at each other like animals. (His glutes are NOT, in fact, weak.) Your legs are tiring but you push yourself to keep going. Closer and closer your end nears. He knows it because his teeth are clenching as your pussy is tightening around him. He’s fighting to not cum before you.

“Don’t stop, baby, don’t stop. Keep on riding me. Keep grinding that sweet little thing on my cock.”

You pick up speed.

“Come for me, sweetheart.”

He squeezes your ass tighter.

“Good girl, I can feel it. Come for Daddy…”

That’s it. Your cunt squeezes up inside of you and smashes down around his dick in a primal, undulating frenzy. There’s an explosion of stars behind your eyelids. He’s yelling out your name and digging his fingers deeper into your hips as his orgasm spills hot inside you.

********

After unmeasured moments, breaths began to slow and a contented stillness fell over the van like snow upon the ground. The two of you wrapped each other up in an embrace and held on tight without a word. It wasn’t much longer until your brain woke back up and began to wander. You knew you were going to think back on this night many, many times when you were back home alone. You’d feel the ghost of his breath and his lips on your skin. You’d ache to hear him moan your name again. AND, FUCK, THE PLAN B--

Gentle laughter broke out, as if he could read your mind. He couldn’t, of course. But it was so very easy to tell when you were uneasy. And Knox was an excellent people reader.

“Just don’t think about anything right now, sweetheart,” he assured you.

“Johnny, I…” You began and trailed off, unsure of what to voice first.

“Call me PJ,” he smiled and placed a kiss on your head. “And don’t you worry about a thing. I’ll stop by a pharmacy soon as they open. The guys are gonna need some Tylenol, too, I bet. I’ll get us all sorted.” And he sealed his promise shut with a squeeze of your shoulders. Not a mind reader, but definitely thoughtful and at times very practical. Always aware of what’s going on around him.

You trusted him. Probably more than you should, but you did. And you gave whatever energy you had left over to the effort of not thinking. You had no idea how long it had been since you checked the time, when the sun was coming up, or what the two of you would do next. What this would mean for the rest of the shoot. But, if you’re gonna be dumb….

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Several hours post-coupling in the van, after the sun came out for vengeance, you found yourself hanging with Pontius at a near-by café. You felt calmest around him out of all the crew and were happy to listen to his stories for distraction. Distraction from your anxiety and the various aches in your body. What you had really wanted was a diner that served greasy food and heinously strong coffee, but they didn’t have those here. Chris must share the need. He was still sporting the Santa hat and some serious bags under his eyes. There was what appeared to be lipstick smeared down his neck, but it was…stippled? From…the only idea that came to mind was another man’s stubble. But he never asked about the way you weren’t walking right, so you paid the favor forward.

His words drifted away from big cats and other wildlife, and he shifted conversation topics. “Crazy night last night, huh,” he said.

“Lord. You bet,” you answered. Oh, here we go.

“What time did you turn in last night? Or this morning?” He batted his lashes and played with the cotton puff at the end of his hat before flipping it to the other side. It invoked the atmosphere of girlies at a sleepover sharing the latest gossip.

“Oh, you know…” Your face reddened a little and you looked down into your steaming coffee mug.

He brought his up to his mouth for a sip and stared you down over it. “Do you happen to know where—"

Your phone buzzed in your back pocket and you pulled it out automatically.

“Hey, doll, where did you run off to?” Your heartbeat quickened and you smirked despite yourself. You didn’t need to look up at the sender to know who it was from.

“Know where what,” you offered with no doubt a dazed look in your eyes.

You were definitely going to need a therapist after this job was through.

#johnny knoxville x reader #afab reader #jackass fanfic #jackass smut #johnny knoxville fanfic #dude tumblr WILL NOT let me use the formatting that i want wtf