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#duke thomas wayne
vodrae · 4 months
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Rich pregnant socialite: So we went to this clinic and let them manipulate our genes so we're 100% sure our child won't have any disease, he will have my hair and his father eyes and so much things we did for him! And you Bruce ?
Brucie: Found em in the trash. Except Tim, he found me in the trash.
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reebmiester · 5 months
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Complete based on this
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maddie-w-draws · 4 months
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they are each going for a different genre of music and it sounds horrendous together but they are having fun i think.
my piece for @batfam-au-zine !
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begaycommittreason · 17 days
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officer: are these your children sir?
damian, forcefully raided a petco to liberate the animals: hello father
jason, released said animals on unsuspecting tourists for fun: sup old man
bruce: …nope
officer: oh, then them?
steph duke and cass, covered in equal parts confetti, dirt, and blood, waving:
bruce: oh no, im not touching that one with a ten foot pole
officer: …so it has to be one of them?
alfred, got into an altercation with someone at home goods over the last crockpot: i have no regrets master bruce
tim, hacked the cia to put himself higher than jason on their wanted list and accidentally implicated himself in an unrelated crime: i’m more disappointed in myself, really
bruce: …i’ve never met these people before
assorted incarcerated batkids: *various outraged clamor*
officer: then who are you here to collect?
bruce, pointing to a different cell, sighing: that one’s mine
clark, was pulled over for following all the gotham road laws (incredibly suspicious behavior): hi bruce!!!
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ashoss · 23 days
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little brother duo supremacy
edit: sorry to disappoint yall but this isnt dick or virgil 😭😭 its duke in a nightwing sweater,,,,
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redsray · 1 month
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i love the idea of the batfam wearing each other's merch cause like. i know they'd be petty about it. usually they'd wear their siblings merch in (kinda) equal rotations, but they'd change it up depending on sibling squabbles or sibling favours. Tim, walking into the kitchen in a Red Hood shirt: Dick: TIM!? Tim: what Dick: it's Tuesday. you always wear Nightwing merch on Tuesdays. Tim: oh. Tim: you stole my last granola bar, last week. Steph, looking for something in Jason's room: JASON WHY DO YOU HAVE EVERYONE'S MERCH BUT MINE?! Jason, peeking into the room: i have your merch. in the trash. Steph: WHY Jason: you hit me with a blue shell in mario kart last game night. i'm never forgiving you. Damian, sporting a full-on Red Robin hoodie: Tim: woah. what brought this on? you usually only exclusively wear Batman or Nightwing merch Damian: you helped me take that splinter out of Alfred's paw yesterday. Richard on the other hand has recently messed up my painting palette. Dick, from the other room: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! Damian: he'll get over it. Cass, wearing Nightwing merch for the 5th day in a row: Jason: goddamn. what did Dickie do to get in your good graces like this? Cass, smiling: he made me a flower crown Jason: ... that's it? Cass: it was a very nice flower crown. Dick, buying seven Signal shirts: One for everyone. Duke, behind him: Dick, you really don't-- Dick: shhhh, sunshine. everyone will love your new merch. (they all wore exclusively Signal merch for a week straight) Bruce isn't allowed to change up his rotation or not wear someone's merch because he immediately gets accused of playing favourites. He'd rather keep some of his sanity, thank you.
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fallen-jpg · 6 months
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finally done with the series that's been plaguing my dreams for a month
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galaxymagitech · 26 days
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Jason: Hey, Alfie! Which of us was the least crazy as a kid?
Bruce: Let’s face it. None of us were easy children. I dropped out of college and then dropped off the grid. Dick was a menace—
Jason: Nah, Dick’s the Golden Boy.
Bruce: He wanted to single-handedly hunt down a powerful criminal and thought the entire manor was a trapeze.
Dick: Well, Jason was like the perfect kid.
Bruce: He ran away, died, and started murdering people.
Jason: Fair. But the Replacement’s your perfect little soldier, isn’t he?
Bruce: He stalked me, he says incredibly concerning things with no idea how concerning he sounds, he started YOUNG JUSTICE, I—
Damian: Batgirl III is boring. Surely she was easy to deal with?
Bruce: Are you kidding me? She got pregnant and started a gang war!
Steph: Guilty as charged. But Duke’s the normal one, so—
Bruce: You started a gang war? Duke started a gang!
Damian: I’m the perfect heir.
Bruce: You’re an assassin who is currently attempting to turn my house into a zoo. And you keep trying to murder Tim.
Jason: Eh, we’ve all been there. Except Cass. Cass hasn’t tried to murder anyone.
Bruce: Cass tried to fight Lady Shiva to the death, despite refusing to kill. Cass is not well-adjusted either.
Cass: Barbara is good.
Bruce: No, she keeps hacking the Batcomputer. And she’s dating my son. Honestly I have no idea how I’m still sane.
Alfred: I’m afraid your sanity is very much in question, Master Bruce.
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gildedlead · 3 months
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Duke: …So, is Two-Face like, B’s ex or something?
Steph: I think it’s more of a situationship? They still seem to have some feelings going on there.
Jason: Yeah right, and get accused of cheating on Selina? I think not. They’ve been dating for as long as I can remember.
Dick: That’s…strange, cause I’m pretty sure he and Clark are married. Big Blue gave him a ring and everything.
Damian: A Kryptonite ring. One that Father keeps in a lead lined safe with the rest of the alien’s bane. Besides, everyone knows Mother’s laid her claim to him already. Only a fool would interfere with such a union.
Cass: Talia and Bruce are about as divorced as two people can be.
Tim: No, you guys are all missing the point. If we want Bruce to have a partner, we need to pick the most profitable option for us. [ pulling up a PowerPoint ] Hear. Me. Out.
—-Later, At the Watchtower-—
Oliver: Bats, why are your kids inviting me over for dinner?
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starry-storms · 3 months
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Instead of asking his children to protect Gotham, Bruce's final request is "Please don't let your brother become a super villian"
And none of them are sure which one he's referring to.
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lustwithoutlore · 1 month
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After a mission…
Dick: I can’t wait to go home, have a bowl of cereal, and go to sleep.
Duke: Lucky, I have patrol in like, two hours. No sleep for me. What’re you going to do when you get home, Jason?
Dick: Wait! Let me guess. Crack open a beer, order in Chinese food, and fall asleep on the couch watching a gritty action movie.
Jason, fully planning on having a lavender scented bubble bath while drinking vanilla earl grey tea and watching Pride and Prejudice: … Something like that.
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hehether · 3 months
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I mean, all of them are ready to give Vicky an exclusive about how sweet their stepdad Batman is.
Steph writes BatBruce fanfics on AO3 because SHE WOULD.
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princeoxca · 3 months
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game night
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murdockbuckley · 3 months
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thinking about the batkids annoying each other and one of them just go "god i was an only child before bruce i miss it so much"
and then there's just a collective agreement and they're all staring at each other in silence after because somehow they forgot NONE of them had siblings before this
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reebmiester · 10 months
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dick got a new apartment. but at what cost
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oldmannapping · 2 months
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Crack HC, because is there any other kind?
Bruce realises embarrassingly late that his Batkids can’t swim.
Gotham’s beach water is pure chemicals and sewage, and the city’s public school funding doesn’t exactly prioritise teaching kids to swim. Steph, Duke and Jason had never seen a swimming pool before meeting Bruce.
Tim’s parents meant to sign him up for swim lessons after he fell into their indoor fountain when he was three and nearly drowned - it would have been so embarrassing if it happened when they had guests! - but forgot.
So Bruce is like. Oh no my baby-soldiers must learn to swim.
Damian insists that since the League trained him to withstand waterboarding, he’s fine. Bruce pulls a muscle in his cheek from clenching his jaw so hard.
Dick insists that he can swim and manages one impressive mermaid-style undulation before becoming disoriented and slamming into the wall.
Duke covers himself in floaties and clings to a pool noodle for dear life, eschewing dignity because “this isn’t how I die”.
Conversely, Tim sinks like a stone, curls up on the bottom of the pool, and waits for death.
Cass, with the lowest body fat percentage, also sinks but manages to squeeze into one of the drains. She re-emerges six hours later in an estuary in New Jersey.
Steph refuses to let go of the wall by the deep end, scuttling away like a crab when Bruce tries to poke her into the water with a skimmer net.
Jason scoffs at them all and manages a perfect swan dive before flailing and crashing into Steph, causing both of them to panic and use each other as ladders to get out.
Alfred asks Barbara for the security camera footage and makes everyone watch it twice a year to keep their egos in check.
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