#dumb bastards

[ramlightly]

Malady the Knight

#my art #malady #i've had this bastard rolling in my brain for weeks and i think I finally a sense of him #and i did that by making him a little dumb

[ashersanity]

— “I’m back, dear. It must’ve been so lonely without me.. Doggy deserves a treat for that, yeah?”

-> content warning! dub-con, pet play, mind-break, kidnapping? top m creep! reader x puppy boy character.

Christ, the familiar hum of your voice drawing closer once more, creaking footsteps steadily approaching as you make your way down the wooden stairs. How long has it been since he’s been in here anyway? Days? Weeks, maybe? Couldn’t even fucking tell with how excruciatingly long the hours ticked by, especially with the routine you had set in place, conditioning him to perk up at the slightest hint of your presence. Like a damn dog dutifully waiting for its owner’s return.

Well, to say your plan had worked to say the least, beautifully so.

Those eyes of his, normally defiant, now attentively peering up at you as you unlocked the cage, temporarily freeing him from his confines. At last, he gets a bit of space to move around in, right? Fuck no. He knows what time it is, knows exactly what awaits him once he tentatively crawls out of his enclosure, face met with your throbbing hard-on straining against the front of your jeans. The fabric dampened by pre-cum, glinting in the dim lighting. Shit, he knows by then. Click of your belt hastily being unbuckled, zipper haphazardly undone as you slip your waistband past your hips with practiced ease, freeing your weeping cock from its constricting confines. Dick lightly smacking against the soft of your stomach, hating the way saliva pools in his mouth at the lewd sight of your bare cock, itching to drag the flat of his tongue along the base, up until the flushed tip.

— “Roll over for me, puppy. Now be a good boy, will you?”

Gently tugging on the leash attached to his leathered collar, you gave him a once over, grinning at his own arousal visibly growing at the nickname.

No, instead, it seems he’s receiving a different kind of reward today. A huffed pant leaving his lips as he lazily rolls over onto his back, legs willingly spread apart for your eyes only, to openly leer at. What a good fucking pet you have raised, presenting himself like a needy whore in heat, begging to be bred full of your fat cock and cum. Not one to deny your mutt of a well-earned treat, right?

— “Good pup. Going to breed your dumb puppy hole full, alright?”

Leaning over his frame, you rhythmically papped the tip of your cockhead against his slicked, wet hole, groaning out a low curse beneath your breath as you shoved the entirety of your length inside, stuffing him full. Watching his adorable expression morphing into one of blissful pleasure, tongue left lolling out of his mouth that you hungrily press your lips against, sucking on the pink, little thing. Nothing was better than this — Shit, nothing could beat the addictive feel of having your cock snugly warmed by his tight heat, the squelch of his sloppy hole ruthlessly getting fucked by you, only you.

— “Hah — Fuck, you feel so good and warm.. So, so good.. Such a good puppy.”

Couldn’t even do anything, only able to babble helplessly with every slam of your hips meeting his own, grip tightening around the tender flesh, promising to leave fresh marks behind the already tainted skin. Stomach tightening, heat building up in the depths of his guts, it’s unavoidable really. Just a human response to react this way, right? But fuck, he can’t even control himself as you swallow him whole, fucking him for all he’s worth.

— “Good boy. Shit.. — My good boy.”

And, embarrassingly so, it’s enough to have him cumming pathetically all over himself — White strings of cum spurting out of his bobbing, leaking dick between his thighs, splattering across his belly. Even as you do the same, fucking your seed into his velvety insides and staining it white, his legs lock around your waist, unwilling to let go.

— “D-Don’t.. stop, please.” He pleads with a whine, despite himself, despite knowing better than to ask for more. As you halt in your movements, gazing over his bent form, utterly ruined by you, you smirk.

— “Can’t deny my puppy of his needs, hm? I’ll give you what you want then. Just be a good boy and take it.” You coo, lovingly planting a gentle kiss atop his head before your hips snap, smacking against his reddened, sore ass again and drawing another strangled whimper from him.

Fuck. You’re going to be the death of him.

whitney, suguru geto?, ryomen sukuna?, gojo satoru?, xiao?, scaramouche?, diluc ragnivindr?, reo mikage?, micheal kaiser?, yoichi isagi?, your favorites. fucking forgot again.

#isn’t this awfully romantic #fucking your pet dumb till they break #creep reader makes his appearance at last. he’s such a fucking freak (he’s just me) #..I fall along the lines of bastard reader and creep reader and I hate it. #dom male reader #dom reader #top male reader #top reader #male reader #x male reader #character x male reader #dol #degrees of lewdity #whitney the bully #jjk #jjk x reader #sukuna #geto suguru #gojo satoru #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #xiao #scaramouche #diluc ragnvindr #blue lock #blue lock x reader #reo mikage #micheal kaiser #isagi yoichi #asher writes

[tangledinink]

I'm Sorry, Teenage Mutant What Now? Donatello Ref Sheet!

Yayyy, now he has a proper, actual reference sheet! Also reflects a few tweaks I've made to his design since the first original pass at it. Rest of the gang forthcoming.

(also, just for fun, donnie w/o his twists--)

#donnie won the poll so they got to go first #and lowkey thank god #coz he had the dumbest most complicated design #so im glad i got him out of the way #what the fuck was i thinking #good thing i decided to do a fic instead of a comic #coz if i was trying to draw this bastard over and over #id simply pass away #i was gonna try to wait and post them all at the same time #but then i decided that actually thats dumb and I'm impatient and i don't wanna #so #sorrywhatnowau #rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #tmnt #rise donnie #rise donatello #rottmnt donatello #rottmnt donnie #tmnt human au #rottmnt human designs #rottmnt human au #rottmnt au #fidgetwing #hamato donatello #donatello hamato

[tibli]

people treating either dirk or jake as the 'villain' of the relationship fundamentally misunderstand that they were isolated teenagers with social issues who both contributed to the relationship's problems, and neither of them are evil

#homestuck #dirkjake #dirk strider #jake english #im not a huge dirkjake person. i like it but not super actively or anything #but they BOTH did things wrong #dirk can be manipulative and overbearing #but hes not some evil mastermind hellbent on ruining jake lmao #his worst offense was like. building a fighting robot that jake explicitly asked for #and then going too far with it #on the reverse side #jake is not some unfeeling uncaring monster #hes socially anxious and has a hard time standing his ground on personal matters #his worst crime was mainly just. being kind of inattentive and unintentionally a little callous #i think postcanon (ignoring the epilogues and hs2) dirkjake could work fine if they both just like #got a little therapy and counseling #i think this is kinda why the epilogues make me bitter bc they really just like. completely bastardized the both of them #dirk is a hypercontrolling obsessive ultrabastard #and jake is a dumb thoughtless himbo who for some reason is a constant punching bag #also im p sure jake canonically has brain damage like i think thats stated in plain text in hs proper #i mean that could probably be healed but for a while he was kind of like. airheaded and unfocused #and i think its kinda insulting how hes treated in both timelines #im not a jake scholar like i am a dirk one tho so jake lovers i need someone to back me up on this pls

[blueskiesandstarrynights]

Tinky be normal about the Spankoffski's challange

#hatchetfield #tinky #lords in black #time bastard #ted spankoffski #peter spankoffski #blue rambles #blues dumb memes #npmd

[teaboot]

Guy was drinking a beer with his buddies, catcalling a lady at my bus stop a minute ago, and because I'm an idiot my knee-jerk reaction was to turn around and go "Fuck man, come on, have some fuckin' class, jesus" and you know what! As a 5'3" queer dude! I figure now that kinda shit's gonna be how I die!!

Fortunately having tits I'm also 'real pretty' and it's 'no big deal' and the real problem is my 'real ugly attitude' so fuckin' hallelujah I fuckin' guess

#JFC I fucking hate this shit #It doesn't matter what you yell or how complimentary it is you dumb shit #If you're a big dude in a group of drunk dudes yelling at a woman walking by it sounds fucking threatening #You dickhead #God #Bastard

[rabbitprincessthief]

gog i still can't get over minish cap vaati's Everything. He is So Fucking Stupid (affectionate)

Like. This guy's establishing character moment is, in order:

he's introduced as having won an entire tournament to get to touch a magic chest and get a cool sword, which was the prize for said tournament

turns around and does a goddamn evil soliloquy TEN FEET AWAY FROM THE GUARDS who were about to hand him his macguffin on a platter

(like this man fucks up his own horribly planned daylight heist because he cannot keep a lid on the dramatics for FIVE FUCKING MINUTES, IN PUBLIC)

(THE BAR WAS ON THE FLOOR VAATI, FUCKING GANONDORF PLAYS THE PIPE ORGAN FOR HIS OWN BOSS INTRO AND HE STILL KNOWS BETTER THAN THIS SHIT)

proceeds to fight the guards (it is, admittedly, a curbstomp for him, but it still clearly wasn't his plan, because otherwise why bother with the tournament)

gloats evilly

opens chest, unleashing a whole bunch of monsters

exposits out loud about Zelda's powers like a nerd while she is actively charging up her magic powers to kick his ass

RECOGNIZES and IDENTIFIES said magic as the special power carried by the female royal line

completely fails to recognize it as the light force he is currently trying to get his hands on (he spends like 99% of the game not figuring this out.)

petrifies her

(i have no idea if link could have deflected this spell if he had managed to get the right angle with his shield but i like to think somewhere there is a very short and very funny alternate timeline where it happens)

(more importantly: no part of vaati's original presumed plan would have involved doing this. he 100% created this situation for himself by being an dramatic idiot and picking a fight for no good reason.)

looks in the chest

there's no light force

considering his stated goals he might be as confused as you are about the monsters tbh

uhhh

evil laugh

teleports the fuck out

He then proceeds to spend the rest of the game trying to figure out where the light force is and ends up having to wait for Ezlo and Link to figure it out first because he was, as far as I can tell, GENUINELY stuck on this part. He fucking kidnaps and impersonates the King, not for access to Zelda, but to… send guards to go look for the Light Force, presumably because he was either running out of ideas or genuinely thought that would work.

None of the guards even had any idea what he was talking about. He's not even good at impersonating the King. He's already sent like twenty people to the dungeon by the time you get there and it hasn't even been a week. Somehow the game spins this as a cunning plan and clever manipulation or something.

(Meanwhile the guards are just. Poking around in random bushes and shit hoping to find the light force. One of them asks you what you think it might look like.)

Zelda is literally right next to the throne and Vaati does not figure it out until you find an actual honest-to-goodness LORE TABLET spelling out that the Light Force is Stored in the Zelda, at which point he's like "ahahaha you've done my work for me this was definitely my plan all along" and takes over the castle and throws a bunch of monsters at you to stall for time while he figures out how to extract the force from her. Somehow he still doesn't think to actually lock the fucking door.

#vaati #minish cap #loz #mc #he's my stupid little squeak squeak and i love him #meta #op #sorry this got long but i have So Many Words about this little bastard #i think he's a really fun foil to ganondorf tbh - #ganondorf looks like a brute force guy but in practice tends largely toward manipulating and long cons and cunning #the appearance of dumb muscle but is actually refined and clever and skilled while also still being built like a brick wall #vaati looks like a classic scheming squishy wizard guy but actually is just cheating and does almost all his nonsense very directly #and his plans tend to be either Do X / ??? / Profit stuff or barely exist at all #to the point where og four swords is gated primarily by your ability to convince great fairies to help you rather than vaati stopping you #ganondorf is a guy given power who wants a magic wish granting artefact #vaati is a guy given a magic wish-granting artefact who decides he wants more power now actually #vaati has had a significant minion approximately once (shadow link) and that was in shared custody with ganon

[pcktknife]

the way some white people don't understand terms that people have been using for ages can be so so infuriating

#coding =/= stereotyping or profiling..... #blackface =/= a black or brown person interpreting a traditionally pale character w darker skin #the bastardizing of the term whitewashing #its so dumb and annoying #just loud about words you have no idea how to use #the blackface one always gets me because how could u be so far off #especially when google is free!!!! #kae.txt #i say ages but i mean terms that are like not super recent if i needed to clarify

[radroachmeat]

Girls who kill people together 💜

#fallout new vegas #fnv #fallout #veronica santangelo #courier six #the courier #rex fnv #rex fallout new vegas #art #fanart #fnv courier #fnv art #fallout nv #my draws #it has been a minute since I've played as her but I love my save with this courier even though it's on hardcore and keeping my #close combat companions alive has been. Difficult. #I want to free Benny from the fort but she is rather underleveled and I gave her a dumb stat layout sooo that will be a fun bridge to cross #with the power of Lesbians And A Dog we can keep the rat bastard alive <3 #I think I need someone to lock me in an empty room until I finish my fic of them. i really just need to edit it and post it because it has #turned into something so outside of my control #veronica x courier #this too.

[1racoon7trenchcoats]

The whole 'you look like that homeless guy' line in npmd is actually kinda horrifying to me

Prefacing this with I haven't paid much attention to the npmd discussion as a whole and that it's been forever since I've watched Time Bastard (I really should watch that again but holy shit)

Seeing this guy every day that you don't know is basically a fucked up version of your brother and just. Going On with your life. I don't think Ted remembered any of it but imagine also seeing your brother all the time and just not being able to know why you get the weird feeling that you know him. You ask him for change every day bc he has a bowtie so he must be rich and you feel like you've seen his face from more than just roaming around the streets and you feel like you've heard his voice but it is just a mosaic you can't think about right now because you need to find some roadkill for dinner.

And then suddenly he and his weeb are trying to pin a murder of a high school kid on you that you. Probably didn't do

#pardon me while i ramble #debating maintagging this bc im just tired lmao #but again pls correct me if i did a dumb #i need to rewatch time bastard but it WILL fuck me up and i will be thinking about it for days #anyway #how do i tag this #starkid #nerdy prudes must die #time bastard #insert the fucking McDonald's drive-thru meme here

[revitalizationrat]

Yum

#the rat is still somewhere #on vacation #wandering in the sewers apparently #??? #rat babblung #dumb rat stuff #what a bastard #lol

[iguessthisisanewobsession]

Memes for the last chapter of it takes a mob

#oh Marv you dumb brave bastard #dp x dc #memes #it takes a mob #dc x dp memes #Marv coming in with the steel chair #they’re dumbasses your honor

[rushingexpress]

this shot of the flying scotsman goes unbelievably hard ((he is very special to me<3))

#ttte #thomas the tank engine #aka virgil speaks wow! #ttte flying scotsman #kissing him on his dumb face #smug bastard #<\3

[dangoarts]

@anonthemagical your tags funny 👍‼️

#fawful my privileged son and dimentio my rat bastard #fawful #dimentio #mario & luigi #mario and luigi bowser's inside story #super paper mario #art stuff #dumb doodles

[grimalkinmessor]

Once more frustrated by people seeing Light's various moves as stupid because they're looking at it from a point of omniscience and not from the perspective of Light himself and the information he had access to :')

#death note #yagami light #my light bias is showing but also no its not #bc im right #like honestly what would YOU have done? without the knowledge that you have from being a spectator #an audience member #i myself wouldve done some of the dumbest shit imaginable and i own that #im a dumb bastard i wouldve panicked the moment L came on screen tbh #i would attempt to leave the country and then L would arrest me bc he was monitoring the ports #also i wouldnt have been kira at all bc i wouldntve thought to use the death note worldwide but thats another story #thats also another pet peeve i have bUT THATS NOT THE POINT RN #THE POINT IS THAT FOR SOMEONE WHO KNEW AS LITTLE AS LIGHT DID ABOUT THE SITUATION HE WAS IN HE MADE THOUGHTFUL CHOICES #choices that WORKED #sure some of them might have fucked him over a bit later but AGAIN #hes not omniscient. there were things he literally had no way of knowing. why do people think hes omniscient #grim rants

[memingursa]

Its Joever. It has never been so over.

#star wars #andor #ahsoka #dave filoni #you dumb fucking bastard