#dump and go beef stroganoff

[elvendara]

MYSME FICTOBER DAY 4

@mysme-fictober

Michael's Edition

4 October 2023—MUSHROOM

Yoosung chopped mushrooms as he hummed to himself. He’d probably chopped too many, but he could save them for dinner. Green onions were next and then some tomatoes. Grabbing a bowl he cracked six eggs into it and began to whisk.

“What ya doin?” Saeran asked as he plopped down on a stool at the counter.

“Making some omelets.” The blond responded.

“Can I help?” asked Saeran.

“Uh, no.” Yoosung smiled at his red-headed boyfriend and continued to cook, heating up the pan.

“Come on! I can do something.” He pleaded.

“Sure, can you get me the cheese.” Yoosung relented. Saeran jumped off the stool and did as he was bid.

“There, now we’re working together.”

Yoosung laughed and nodded.

After breakfast, which was a delicious as always, they went their separate ways. Yoosung to the vet clinic, Saeran to Saeyoung’s shop, as he’d said he would help him out with a large order.

Dinner time Yoosung decided to make some beef stroganoff after remembering the extra mushrooms. When he went into the refrigerator to grab them, he didn’t find them chopped up. They were once again in their original packaging, as if he hadn’t used them that morning. Confused, he assumed Saeran bought more, no big deal. He shrugged and grabbed the package, this time using the whole thing.

In the morning he once more hummed to himself as he began breakfast. Having forgotten about the mushrooms, he was surprised to see a new package in the fridge. Or was it the same package? He grabbed it and went into the bathroom where Saeran was brushing his teeth.

“Did you buy these?” he asked, a little too aggressively.

“Hmm?” Saeran furrowed his brows, glancing at Yoosung through the mirror and bending over to spit. Wiping his mouth he turned.

“These mushrooms, did you buy them?” it was an accusation.

Bemused, Saeran shook his head, “No, why would I? I don’t usually buy food unless its junk food.” He chuckled, then fell silent as he saw the look on his boyfriend’s face. Amethyst eyes a bit crazed. “Yoo? What’s wrong? This isn’t about some mushrooms is it?”

“Of course it’s about the mushrooms! They keep coming back and I haven’t bought any.”

“What are you talking about?”

Yoosung explained how they kept coming back.

“That doesn’t make sense. Just, throw them away and we’ll see if they return tonight OK? You’ll see, it’s just some silly misunderstanding or something.” Saeran took the package from Yoosung, who clung to them for a few seconds before relinquishing them.

“Fine, but take out the garbage, I don’t want them in the house.”

“Got it.” Saeran took the mushrooms and dumped them in the garbage can, then took the bag and walked out with it through the kitchen. Yoosung watched every movement, making sure Saeran didn’t have an opportunity to keep the package in the house.

A shiver ran down his spine as the door closed behind the other man and he suddenly felt foolish. All this over a package of mushrooms? It was ridiculous.

“Why don’t we play hooky today and go out?” Saeran suggested when he came back inside. Yoosung couldn’t help himself, he eyed his boyfriend from head to toe to make sure he hadn’t hidden the package. Shaking his head he closed his eyes, a headache beginning behind them.

“No, I can’t. I have too many appointments today. But, we can go out to breakfast instead.”

“Sounds like a plan. Let me finish getting ready, OK?”

“Yeah.” Saeran kissed Yoosung’s forehead as he pressed him into a short hug before proceeding to the bedroom.

With a sigh Yoosung grabbed his things and headed outside to the vehicle. He tried to stop himself but he lifted the lid of the garbage can to make sure the bag was in there. Hating himself even more, he opened it. Sure enough, the mushrooms were there. It still didn’t feel good enough, but unless he wanted to take the bag into the car, there wasn’t much else they could do.

The day was stressful, and he found himself being short with his staff. Apologizing, he tried to just make it through without anyone quitting. Saeran met him at the door when he got home and embraced him.

“How was your day?”

“Terrible! I’m just glad to be home.” He arched an eyebrow questioningly.

“Last time I checked, there weren’t any mushrooms in the fridge.” He said.

“You think I’m crazy don’t you?” Yoosung sighed, setting his things on the side table next to the door.

Saeran closed the front door behind him and shook his head. “Of course not.”

“Well, I guess I should get dinner started.” Yoosung said reluctantly.

“Why don’t we go out for dinner?” Saeran suggested.

“No, no, it’s fine. Let’s just get this over with.” They both entered the kitchen and stood before the refrigerator. A minute went by before Yoosung got up the courage to put his hand on the handle. With a deep breath he yanked it open.

In the crisper, clear as day, was a package of mushrooms.

“No way!” Saeran yelled. He turned on his heels and ran outside to the garbage can. Yoosung right behind him. He yanked the lid off and opened the bag, the mushrooms were gone.

“Did, did you…?” Yoosung begun. Saeran shook his head.

“Of course not, I wouldn’t…I swear…” they stared in disbelief.

#mysme fictober #mystic messenger #Yooran #Day 4 #Mushroom #Yoosung Kim #Saeran Choi #October #Here #Have this #Whatever it is

[gatzilksis-2]

The Unbreakable Smell Spell, Pt. 4

Sorry for grand delays. I had trouble deciding whether to keep this going after this chapter, and I had to change the ending and rewrite accordingly.

ENJOY!

Part 4: Public (18+)

(Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3)

Danny sat in the cafeteria, staring at a plate of beef stroganoff. His stomach rumbled in hunger. It was steaming, sending up a smell that once would have been good. Now, it was unbearably disgusting.

Danny reached into his pocket and pulled out a fresh, sweaty Brad sock. He pushed it against his face and took a deep inhale. It should've been sour and cheesy, but it smelled worlds better than the stroganoff.

He took a bite but realized a girl at another table had been staring at him. She had seen him sniff the sock, and Danny blushed. "Shit!"

He carried his food to the most recent bathroom, wondering how he had come this far. He couldn't go an hour without sniffing a sock, and if there were other "good" smells around, even that didn't work. Danny could stand to be seen sniffing a sock, but as much as he wanted to, he couldn't carry around a dirty pair of The Brad's underwear.

Thinking of The Brad made him smile, but then Danny realized he shouldn't be smiling. Brad was the source of all the stink he'd been coerced into loving. As baffling and disgusting as it was, he was the most important person in Danny's life, the only one who could prevent him from constantly getting sick.

Danny got to the bathroom and froze. The cleaning cart was blocking the door. The smells of bleach and floor cleaner turned his stomach. Danny dumped his food into a nearby trashcan and bolted, wildly sniffing the sock. Regrettably, he was going to have to find The Brad.

Brad was in the smaller gymnasium of the two, playing basketball with a group of his buddies. He was the biggest one, a classically handsome 6'5 sweaty giant, emphasis on sweaty. Dannu craved the scent of his man musk as he walked into the gym.

Brad noticed his roommate and put his hands in a T motion. "Time out!"

His shoes squeaked on the polished floor as he ran to the open double doors. Brad smirked at the sock in Danny's hand and lifted his royal blue eyes to the smaller man's face, panting. "Hey, Sniffle!"

"Hey." Danny eyed the other guys as his unfortunate nickname echoed through the room. He dropped his voice and leaned close to The Brad, whiffing his warm body odor. His stomach began to settle, but it wasn't enough; at least one of the guys was wearing heavy cologne. "Um, I need you to..."

"What is it?" Brad stepped back with an evil grin. He was talking at full volume, teasing his little stink puppet in front of his friends. "What do you need from me, bro?"

One of the guys got a matching grin. Another chuckled. Douchebags.

Danny looked over them, becoming a mess of nerves as his face turned hot. "You know what."

The Brad crossed his arms, puffing out his toned chest under his red tanktop. "I need you to say it, Sniffle."

"Sniffle," one of the other guys repeated and laughed.

Danny looked around at them all and glared at Brad, his pulse echoing in his neck and temples. He couldn't say it, not in front of the others. "I can't."

The Brad gave Danny a slow, calculating look. The way his smirk twisted made Danny uneasy. It was Brad's tell that he was going to do something gross and have plenty of fun doing it. "You know, I keep something in my pocket, too."

He pulled something from his right pocket and brushed it against Danny's nose. It was a simple dryer sheet scented with lavender. Danny's stomach lurched, and he pushed Brad's hand and the smelly thing away. "I need you to fart in my face!"

The other guys burst into laughter, and one of them said, "What the fuck?!"

Brad's smirk was overjoyed. He took so much pleasure in humiliating his fart-sniffing roommate. He reached out with a long arm and pushed Danny's head into his wet left armpit.

Danny's stomach started feeling better at the warm, eggy stench of The Brad's pit sweat. The Brad wiped sweat all over Danny's face, and Danny breathed it in as if he might otherwise die.

"Dude!"

"What the fuck!"

The friends laughed as The Brad let go. Danny pulled back, but not too far. He continued to sniff the sweaty odor around Brad. Danny was disgusted with himself and extremely humiliated. He would probably be known as "Sniffle" for the rest of his days at university.

Brad was ruining his life, but as much as Danny wanted him to stop, the words wouldn't come out. "Fart."

The simple, gross word had come out unintentionally. The friends erupted into hysterics. Two of them didn't want to watch and headed to the showers.

Brad put both of his big hands on Danny's shoulders. "Look at you. Finally respecting The Brad."

He pushed down, and Danny let himself fall to his knees. The other guys were all staring. One of them asked, "Are you actually gonna do it?"

"What a freak," said another.

Danny was inches from The Brad's smelly, sweaty crotch. Brad wasn't even holding him there. Danny had been feeling sick all day, and he needed this boost. It was all he could think about, even though he was so grossed out by it.

Brad turned around and pushed his ass against my face. "Lucky for you, I been holding it."

BWRRRMP! BWRRRRR-VRRRRRRR- ERRRRRR-PBLRRRRRRRT!

His ass bared down further to push it longer. It shook Danny's entire face with its powerful force, and Danny opened up my nostrils to take deep, heaving breaths of The Brad's severely deadly wind.

But it wasn't deadly. It was the best smell in the world, like a sweet meat with--

No. It was horrible, toxic, vicious. Danny stopped sniffing and pulled away, but Brad pushed him back in immediately. "Nah, I don't think that was enough!"

Brad's asshole puffed against Danny's nose through his underwear and shorts. GROWR-BWAAAAA-AAAAARRRRRRR! VRMMP! BRRRT! BWRRT! RT!

One huge, long fart and four little ones pushed out. Danny accepted the smell into his nose, into his head. It was heaven, an epic thunder and the air scented with pure euphoria...

No. It was farts, bad digestive gas caused by eating the right things. Wrong...eating the wrong things. All of this was wrong.

But Danny had never felt better. The bigger and more disgusting the fart, the more energy and health he had.

He remembered people were watching as The Brad stepped away. The other guys were awestruck, but then began to laugh. One of them stepped forward to offer a hand to Danny. "I don't know what's goin' on there, but you took that like a champ."

"He your slave or something?" asked another guy.

Danny stood, finding all of the air surrounding them marked by Brad's amazing, horrifying farts. "I'm not a slave. It's a--"

Danny couldn't say the word "spell". Brad gave him a knowing look with a smile. "Not exactly a slave. Just lost a big bet. You good, Sniffle, or you need more?"

"I'm good," said Danny quietly. The nerves were catching up to him.

The Brad stepped out of his shoes and removed his sweaty socks, baring his huge feet. He pushed the damp, warm socks into Danny's hand and put his shoes on without them. "I'll be at the room soon, and we can discuss what happens over Thanksgiving break."

The Brad patted Danny's shoulder and ran back to his friends. "Time in!"

Danny left the gym sniffing the new socks. Thanksgiving break. He hadn't even thought to worry about that...

@gatzilksis-2 to buy my stories or order your own!

#eproctophilia #farts #eprocto #fart kink #flatulence #gatzilksis #fart fiction #fart stories #male fart fiction #male fart stories

[triscribe]

Got tagged by @kaiseaya! Thanks so much!

Favorite time of year: Spring. The days are reasonable length, the weather’s getting warmer but not too hot yet, perfect for me to wear my best combos of cargo shorts and t-shirts and vests... Plus, my birthday is in spring! Always gotta love that.

Comfort foods: Warm and soft - either kraft macaroni and cheese with chunks of tuna mixed in, or instant mashed potatoes with sausage slices and canned peas all in a bowl together. Or hambuger-helper’s beef stroganoff, with a bag of frozen peas dumped in to cook alongside the pasta. Oh! Or the best local chinese/vietnamese restaurant’s lemon chicken with steamed rice. All of those are really good after a long hard day.

Do you collect anything: Ah-heh. How about craft supplies that I end up never using...? More seriously, though, I do like to collect narrow vases I can combine with small fake flower stems, either at hobby shops or garage sales or whatnot. Lots of them decorate my safer shelves and tabletops; plenty more get passed along as gifts.

Favorite drink: Orange Fanta soda on a hot day, strong but lukewarm lemon-honey tea on a cold one.

Favorite music artists: OneRepublic, Vicetone, Reba McEntire, American Authors, and Built by Titan

Current favorite songs: Been bouncing along to Run, Sunshine, West Coast, and I Ain’t Worried by OneRepublic the last few days, along with One My Way by Sheppard and a couple of Oceans songs, Deep Blue and Cold Ain’t For Me

Favorite fics: ...ack. Hrm. Well, let’s go by what I like to re-read the most - A Wing and A Prayer by Atalan, aka @brightwanderer, which is just a phenomenal look at G1 Transformers that I adore; any of envysparkler’s Bat Family fics, to be honest, but Fairy Godbrother is particularly fantastic; journey to the past by aloneintherain is a DELIGHT I always dig out when I want some A+ My Hero Academia time travel content, or Jeanemon’s Lies in the guise of truth for Dad Might feels; Bundibird has several great MCU stories but bagel bags do not count as art has to be my hands-down fave for the sheer hilarity; the Soft Wars series by Project0506, especially any and all chat fics (such as Discovery Learning), and pretty much any Star Wars story from @blackkatmagic though show me those electric bones will always hold a special place in my heart for BAMF Shaak Ti xD

ALRIGHT I’m gonna pull some names out my hat here, @153-centimeters-of-sass @captainoliimar @maomaocopycat @fancyfrogg @the-moons-raes and of course anyone else who’d like to jump in!

#can you tell I have a hard time ever settling on a single answer #x'D #tag game #fan fiction #transformers #marvel movies #dc #birds and bats of gotham #My Hero Academia #star wars the clone wars #rec list #I wanted to throw in a good sampling

[readitreviewit]

Are you tired of eating the same old boring meals every day? Do you want to impress your family and friends with your cooking skills? Look no further than the Crock Pot Cookbook for Beginners 2023! This amazing cookbook features over 1000 healthy and delicious recipes that can be made with only 5 ingredients or less. Whether you're a beginner or a pro, these recipes are easy to follow and will make mealtime exciting again. One of the best things about this cookbook is the variety of recipes. You'll find breakfast dishes like oatmeal and breakfast burritos, lunch and dinner recipes like chicken Alfredo and beef stroganoff, and tasty desserts like apple dump cake and chocolate lava cake. There are recipes for poultry, beef, pork, lamb, fish, and seafood, as well as snacks, appetizers, and vegetarian options. No matter what your dietary needs, there's something for everyone in this cookbook. Each recipe includes a list of ingredients and detailed instructions, making it easy to follow along. And if you're new to using a crock pot, there are helpful tips throughout the book that will guide you on how to get the most out of your slow cooker. You'll learn how to properly layer ingredients, adjust cooking times, and clean your crock pot properly. The Crock Pot Cookbook for Beginners 2023 is also lightweight and easy to carry, making it a great choice for taking to the grocery store or bringing to a friend's house for a potluck. And at only 132 pages, it's not overwhelming or intimidating like some cookbooks can be. But the real test of any cookbook is how the food tastes, and I can say with confidence that every recipe I tried was delicious. The meals were flavorful, and the ingredients were fresh and healthy. My family especially enjoyed the chicken fajitas and the cheesy potato soup. And because everything is made in the crock pot, cleanup was a breeze. Overall, I highly recommend the Crock Pot Cookbook for Beginners 2023. It's an excellent choice for anyone who wants to make delicious, healthy meals without spending a lot of time in the kitchen. With over 1000 recipes to choose from, you'll never run out of ideas for dinner again. So go ahead and add it to your cookbook collection - your taste buds will thank you! Don't miss out on the life-changing insights from this amazing book! Buy it now and start your journey towards a better you. Or, if you prefer to listen on-the-go, get a 30-day trial of audible and never miss a moment. Act now and transform your life today! Price: [price_with_discount] (as of [price_update_date] - Details)

[riflebrass]

Tonight for dinner I made stroganoff with some brisket. It's a pretty easy dish to make if you're a beginner.

Ingredients:

2lbs of beef I prefer a cheap steak or roast. It's so much better with solid chunks of meat instead of hamburger but if that's all you have to work with it's still really good.

1 large onion

Lots of garlic (didn't count how many cloves lol)

Sliced mushrooms (optional)

Sour cream I used 1lb but you can use more or less based on your preferences

1lb dry pasta of your choice. I chose shells because they hold a lot of sauce.

Beef base or beef boullion

Black pepper to taste

Bay leaves

Preparation:

Chop your vegetables and set aside. If you're using solid chunks of beef I don't bother chopping the garlic. I'll touch on that later. If you're using whole mushrooms wash them. I'm just assuming someone out there is a beginner. They're grown in manure and while it's sterile it still tastes terrible. If you're using pre-sliced they're already washed. No worries. Mushrooms absorb a lot of water so go ahead and dry them.

If you're using solid chunks of beef cut them into bite sized pieces.

Drop some oil into a soup pot

If you're cooking with hamburger cook it on medium to brown. If you're using solid chunks crank the heat to high and sear the meat. A nice dark outside is good.

Mix in a tablespoon of your beef base or crumble in some boullion cubes and a splash of water. I like to undershoot this a little because this stuff can get pretty salty and it's easier to add more later than to take it out. This is also when I add pepper.

Mix in your vegetables and bay leaves. If you're using solid chunks of meat leave the mushrooms out for now.

If you're working with hamburger cook the veggies until tender then skip to step 10.

If you're using solid chunks put a lid on it and crank the heat down to medium-low. We're going to slow cook the meat. Remember when I said not to bother chopping the garlic? Well it's basically going to melt into the sauce so I don't bother.

After about an hour dump in the mushrooms and stir. Try a piece of meat. If it's still tough check back in half an hour. Usually it takes me 2 hours to get as tender as I like it but sometimes it's a little faster.

Once the meat stuff is ready mix like 3tbsp corn starch with half a cup of water in a separate cup. Make sure it's well mixed. With your meaty mix in the pot give it a taste to see if you like it. If you want more salt/pepper now's the time to add it. Also go ahead and add your sour cream. When the sauce is fully mixed bring it to a boil then slowly add your corn starch mix. The starch settles to the bottom of the water fairly easily so give it another stir before you add it to the pot. Don't just dump it all in at once. Add it slowly. The sauce should thicken pretty fast. Once it's as thick as you like it you're good.

In a separate pot boil the pasta as directed. Drain it, then dump it in your sauce and mix to combine.

This time I put some green beans at the bottom of the bowl. Have whatever vegetable you like on the side.

#cooking

[deliciousrecipes2]

Easy Instant Pot Beef Stroganoff - Dump and Go Recipe

#SixSistersStuff #Recipe #instant pot recipes #instant pot #instant pot beef stroganoff #instant pot beef stroganoff recipe #instant pot beef stroganoff youtube #easy instant pot recipe #dump and go instant pot recipes #dump and go recipe #beginner instant pot recipes #beginner instant pot dinner recipes #beginner instant pot user #slow cooker beef stroganoff #dump and go beef stroganoff #easy #instant #pot #beef #stroganoff #dump #go #perfect #for #beginners #instant pot beginner recipes

[instantfeast]

Dump-and Go Instant Pot Beef Stroganoff

Sometimes people refer to the Instant Pot as the Magic Pot and it truly is. There is nothing ‘instant’ about it. But it is such a time saver in many ways. For one thing, you can set it and forget it and go on to do other things. And, it is a great tool for trying traditional recipes intended for long cook periods in a dutch oven. Many, many recipes can be adapted for pressure cooking. This is another traditional recipe that is perfect for the Instant Pot, and has been altered to make a quick dump-and-go meal. The use of dried onion and garlic is a great time-saving technique, and though the recipe uses a vegetable stock as its base, any beef stock can be used, as well. Any cheap cut of beef, such as bottom round, is perfect for this recipe as long as it is well-marbled with fat. It is not necessary to brown the meat. Beef Stroganoff is wonderful served over noodles and pared with green vegetables. The recipe serves 4 was prepared in a 6 qt Instant Pot.

Beef Stroganoff: Dump-and-Go

Ingredients

1 tbsp dried onion (or 2 fresh onions, chopped and sautéed)

1/2 tsp garlic powder1 tbsp powdered vegetable bouillon

1 tbsp Italian herbs

3 tsp French mustard 

1 cup water

1 tsp salt

1 tsp black pepper

8 oz button mushrooms thickly sliced 

2 tbsp of tomato paste

2 lb beef stew meat

1/2 pt sour cream 

1-2 tbsp flour (optional)

Preparation

Pour water into the Instant Pot. Add mushrooms, dried onion, garlic powder, dried bouillon, Italian herbs, French mustard, salt, pepper, tomato paste. Lastly, add the beef stew meat to the pot and do not stir.

Function : Pressure Cook 

Time: 25 minutes

After the 25 minute cook time, allow a full natural release, which will be about 20 minutes, then put the pot in Saute Mode. The liquid will be thin and to thicken it into a nice sauce, combine some of the hot liquid with 1-2 tbsp of flour in a small cup. Stir until the paste is smooth and the flour completely absorbs the liquid. Add the slurry to the pot and stir the sauce in saute mode until the desired thickness is reached. 

Turn off the pot and stir in 1/2 cup of sour cream until fully blended. Serve with noodles.

#instant pot #instantpot #dump-and-go #recipes #pressure cooking #pressure cooker #beef stroganoff #beef recipes

[saint-ambrosef]

As a broke student who didn't grow up learning how to cook, any "how to cook and eat cheap for newbs" tips would be MUCH appreciated

Ask and you shall receive!

Meal Planning:

Figure out what you enjoy eating. That can mean cuisine or specific ingredients; for instance, I love Indian and Mediterranean food. It helps with planning meals.

Plan your week's dinner ahead. If you're just starting out, that can be intimidating, so just plan 2 or 3. Use the above tip as a guide to figure out what dishes you can make, but I will also suggest my favorite easy dishes below to get you started. Make a list of ingredients you need for your weekly meal.

Keep a list of recipes you like -- I have a google doc for this purpose. Then when it's time to plan my weekly meals, I just scroll through my list, pick a few, and write down the ingredients.

If you're living by yourself, you can totally cook less frequently in larger batches, and just eat leftovers on in-between days.

Shopping efficiently:

Part of this is just learning your grocery store. When you get used to shopping for ingredients every week, you will quickly learn where most items in your store are located.

When drafting my grocery list, I often take the extra five minutes to organize it by category. And after a little experience, you can order it sequentially based on the store layout. E.g., my store entrance is by the vegetables, so I'll put those first on my list, then all the fruits, snacks, dairy, etc.

Always check your list against your fridge/pantry before you leave the house, so you know already what you do/don't have.

General Cooking Tips

Cold onions won't make you cry. Keep a few in your fridge.

The finer you mince something, the quicker it cooks -- and burns. That is why recipes add garlic at the end.

Most meats can be substituted for each other, especially if it's cut up/ground. It'll taste different but still good.

Frozen spinach can be added to basically any sauce-y or soup-y dish as a veggie source. Spaghetti sauce, lentil dahl, chicken soup...

If you're scared of overcooking/undercooking, slow cookers are your best friend. You can get them at thrift stores for like $5.

The most versatile dried spices to keep stocked: cumin, chili powder, paprika, cinnamon, and oregano. Next would be basil, thyme, ginger, garlic powder, bay leaves.

Fresh spices to keep stocked: garlic cloves, limes, lemons. Seriously, constantly ask yourself if the food would taste better with some fresh citrus juice. The answer is almost always yes. Cilantro, too, if you like a lot of Latin, South Asian, and Middle Eastern cuisines.

Prep all ingredients before you start cooking - chop, dice, etc.

Below are some of my go-to meals when I was in college and didn't have a ton of time to cook. At the time, I lived on roughly $20/week for groceries, so they're also extremely cheap (although your cost might vary depending on where you live and shop). I've included my rough price per [hearty] serving.

I don't have the recipes to share, because I kinda just eyeball everything now, but any recipe you find online should be easy due to the simple nature of these dishes. I can share my own specific recipes upon request.

Chicken Korma: Just chicken, onions, coconut milk, tomato paste, and spices served on whatever rice I have around. Super tasty at about $1.50/serving. Lentil Dahl is very similar but sub chicken for lentils.

Beef Stroganoff: Ground beef, onion, sour cream, beef bouillon, egg noodles, mushrooms, frozen peas, spices. $2.00/serving.

Greek Meatballs: Seriously so good. I usually do half ground turkey, half pork sausage, bake them, and serve on rice and greens with tzaziki sauce. Easy to make a ton and freeze for later. $1.75/serving.

Turkey Chili: Literally dump a bunch of stuff in a slow cooker. Top with sour cream, cilantro, corn bread. like $1.50/serving.

Fried Rice: Just fry leftover rice with whatever veggies are on hand. So cheap. $1.30/serving. Throw in an egg for protein.

Burrito Bowls: Or tacos. Make great lunches, too. $2.00/serving.

Mac and Cheese: The homemade stuff. So enriching and only $1.75/serving. Great with frozen peas, too.

Learning how to budget for groceries is a whole different topic that deserves its own post. But I hope this is at least partly helpful for getting started!

#shad cooks #apparently

[paragonrobits]

@botgal said: As long as it's not like the anime girl beef stroganoff I'd like to see

sure thing! And almost all media depiction of stroganoff wounds me to my soul

broadly speaking, my particular variation is actually REALLY different from how its normally done so its like this:

i use a few cans of cream of mushroom soup as the main stock, and filled out a bit by sour cream. i actually RELALY don’t like the taste of sour cream, so i have to use very carefully portioned amounts to make sure that its a nice balance of adding volume to the stew without influencing the taste too much. i use soy sauce for flavoring, and use a lot more to create the right flavor and color, to contrast the sour cream. (If the stew turns reddish or brown, its a good start! My dad complains about this a lot but i love that soy sauce taste)

then we add mushrooms; preferably whole mushrooms but I can’t find the kind i use to get so i make do with stems and pieces

now from what I’ve gathered, stroganoff is one of those foods wher eyou can dump pretty much anything in. generally i go with mushrooms and a Meat Item. today I opted for boneless chicken that I will cook before hand.

its funny you mention beef stroganoff because, again, no variant i’ve ever seen looks or tastes like what I eat, which is a big ol hearty stew of mushroom items and meat. my mom was a MUCH Bigger stickler for it, and i’m using what i remember of her recipe, which specifically required steak. its why it was a fairly rare part of my diet; we didn’t often have the money for steak and it was usually a special occasion. i came up with the idea of using chicken meat, because its cheaper, and she was genuinely horrified at the notion because YOURE SUPPOSED TO USE STEAK

#replies

[rhosyn-du]

Never make a mess when a total catastrophe will do - Chapter Seven

Pairings: Jimon, past Clace, background Clizzy, a bunch of other minor background pairings Rating: Explicit Art: @cor321​ Beta: @all-thestories-aretrue​ Tags:  Alternate Universe - College/University, fake dating, oh my god they were roommates, friends with benefits, idiots to lovers, pining, miscommunication, holidays, drinking games, mistletoe, symbolically significant Oreos, domestic fluff, brief mention of past character death, Jace’s self-worth issues deserve their own tag Summary: What do you do when you find out your sister is not only dating your ex and love-of-your-high-school-life but is also bringing her home for Christmas? Bring your annoying, hot, annoyingly-hot roommate as your fake boyfriend to show them you're totally fine with it, obviously! There's no possible way this could backfire. Link: AO3 , Tumblr Master Post

Chapter Seven

Jace knew they were in trouble as soon as he saw Maia’s face. The Cheshire Cat had nothing on her grin as she sauntered into Java Jones Monday afternoon, the last of their group to arrive.

She pulled a chair up between Jace and Simon, spun it around with a flourish to sit on it backwards, and flung an arm around both their shoulders. “So, is this the part where I say mazel tov?”

“I am going to literally murder my sister,” Simon announced.

Lily perked up. “Wait, what happened?” She looked between Simon and Jace, then fixed an intense gaze on Maia. “Did one of them finally break down and call you? Why didn’t you assholes mention anything? Who won the bet?”

“Oh, I got a call,” Maia said. “Not from either of these fools, though.”

Jace drained his coffee cup, wishing it were vodka instead. There was clearly no stopping this, so he might as well just face the music now.

“According to Becky, she and her grandmother caught these two in a storage closet about to get down and dirty, and Jace tried to cover up what they were doing by pretending he was down on his knees to propose.”

“Oh no,” Maureen said through a fit of giggles. “That’s terrible.”

Jace flipped her off, which only made her giggle harder.

“Don’t worry,” Maia said, patting Simon’s shoulder, “Becky said she’s like ninety percent sure your grandma didn’t know what was really up.”

“I can hide two bodies,” Simon told her. “I have a van.”

“And my sister is studying forensics,” Jace added. “I bet she’d tell me how to cover up a crime scene if I asked.”

“Every time you bring up your family, I just have more questions,” Lily said.

“Wait,” Maureen said suddenly, holding up her hands. Everyone looked at her. “If you guys are giving each other clandestine blowjobs, does this mean everyone in our friend group has slept together now?”

“Nope,” Bat said, and Jace shook his head.

“Wait, really?” Simon sounded genuinely surprised.

“We thought for sure you two were hooking up back when Simon and I were dating,” Maureen added, looking at Bat. “Jace was over at your place pretty much all the time.”

Jace stared intently into his empty coffee cup. He wasn’t about to tell them he’d spent so much time at Bat’s because he couldn’t quite stomach spending time in his apartment when Simon and Maureen were there, together.

“Jace was over at my place sulking because he got his ass dumped.” Which was the excuse Jace had given him. “He swore me to secrecy because he didn’t want you guys giving him shit for getting his heart broken.”

“You seem to be a little confused about the whole concept of secrecy, though,” Jace said.

“You could’ve told us,” Maureen said, earnest and sympathetic. “We wouldn’t tease you about something if you were really hurting.”

“Well, I’d tease you a little,” Lily said.

“You had your heart broken?” Simon’s voice was soft, and when Jace met his eyes, he found a confused curiosity there. Which of course there would be, Jace realized, given the conversation they’d had on the drive home, where he’d admitted that he hadn’t been serious about anyone since Clary.

“I wasn’t heartbroken,” Jace said, putting as much disdain as he could manage into the word. “Sasha just had some very strong opinions when I told her I didn’t want to get serious, and I kind of wanted to lay low for a while after.” The part about Sasha wasn’t even a lie.

“Oh,” Lily said, dragging the word out with relish. “You were embarrassed because she told you off in public.”

Bat looked skeptical. “You really expect me to believe you spent three weeks curled up on my couch eating Double Stuf Oreos because your ego was bruised?”

“Of course not.” Jace grinned at him. “That was because you’re a sucker who kept buying me Double Stuf Oreos.”

Maia smacked his arm hard enough to sting. “No taking advantage of Bat’s kind and generous spirit.”

Bat looked unconvinced. “Well, next time you decide to hide out at my place because you definitely didn’t get your heart broken, you’re on your own for Oreos.”

Simon was still watching him. “I would’ve shared my Oreos if I knew you needed them.” His tone was far too serious for a conversation about Oreos. Like maybe he knew Jace was hiding something. Like maybe he suspected what Jace was hiding.

Jace flashed him a shit-eating grin. “I hope you know I’m taking that as an invitation to steal your Oreos whenever I want from now on.”

“Dude, you can’t just steal Oreos!” Maureen protested. “That’s like rule number two of the roommate code.”

“What’s rule number one?” Bat asked.

“Booze,” Maureen and Lily answered in unison.

“And for everyone who keeps asking how we managed to share a dorm and not murder each other freshman year,” Lily continued, “this is the answer.”

“Truth,” Maureen agreed.

This sparked a lively debate about what did and did not constitute violations of roommate code that lasted until Jace had to leave for his evening class.

Two days later, a package of Double Stuf Oreos appeared on Jace’s desk. He didn’t bring them up, and neither did Simon.

~~~

Jace wasn’t sure exactly how they started studying together on the couch instead of their separate rooms. It might have been that one group study session where everyone else had to bail early. But somewhere along the line, he’d started dragging his textbooks and laptop out to the living room any time he needed to get work done. Half the time, he found Simon already there, and the times he didn’t, Simon usually joined him pretty soon after.

And it was…nice. Comfortable in a way Jace tried not to think about. Just another item on his ever-growing list of things not to think about. Conveniently, his assigned paper on the Thirty Years’ War didn’t leave room for thinking about much of anything else.

Which was probably why it took him so long to notice on this particular evening that he and Simon had somehow migrated from their usual spots at either end of the couch to sharing its center. And once he did notice, all thoughts of the Second Defenestration of Prague went out the window, the warmth of Simon’s leg against his own and occasional bump of their shoulders as they worked driving him to distraction.

It was stupid, really. It wasn’t like they never touched. In fact, Jace would bet they’d spent more of their time together over the past few months touching than not, in increasingly creative ways.

But they didn’t touch like this, without teasing or seduction or intent. It made Jace feel twitchy. Restless. There was a part of him that wanted to sink into it, to let the warmth of Simon’s touch seep under his skin. But a far greater part was telling him to pull away, to retreat back to his end of the couch. Or maybe to turn and press Simon back into the couch cushions and turn this into something far more familiar. Something safer.

“Hey,” Simon said, making Jace flinch in surprise. If Simon noticed, he didn’t let on. “I was gonna make stroganoff for dinner tonight, and I’m pretty ready for a break. Any chance I could talk you into slicing mushrooms for me while I start on the beef?”

It took Jace several seconds to process the question, so far from what he’d been thinking. “Um. Yeah. Sure, sounds good.”

Once they made their way to the kitchen, Jace was grateful to be back on familiar ground. They didn’t cook together often—didn’t have much time for cooking at all, really—but they’d done it a handful of times, and they worked well together in a kitchen, which was not something Jace could say about most of his friends, or his family.

It was also, he realized as he stood next to Simon at the stove, boiling egg noodles while Simon stirred the roux, acutely domestic. It was another addition to the list of things he wasn’t going to think about.

When they returned to the living room, bowls of saucy noodles and beef in hand, Simon sat right back down in the middle of the couch, where he’d been before they got up to make dinner. Jace hesitated only an instant before reclaiming his spot next to him. Simon flashed him a quick smile before pulling his financial analytics textbook over to balance precariously on his knee so he could read while he ate. Jace tore his gaze away, turning his attention half-heartedly back to his notes.

By the time he finished eating, Jace had realized two very important things. First, he needed to make another trip to the library if he wanted to have enough sources to back up his thesis. Second, it would be far too easy to get used to nights like tonight, and that wasn’t something he could allow himself to do. Before he could make himself do something about it, though, Simon shifted, half-turning to pull his knees up onto the couch and letting his head rest back against Jace’s shoulder.

“This okay? The light’s better like this.”

Jace took maybe a second too long to answer. “It’s fine.”

He placed his empty bowl on the coffee table—gingerly, so as not to jostle Simon—and returned to his reading. When he shifted a few minutes later, tossing one arm over the back of the couch and letting Simon rest against his chest, it was just a matter of comfort, really. Letting his hand come to rest on Simon’s chest, fingers absently toying with the neckline of his shirt, was not, but Simon didn’t object.

When his fingers encountered skin-warm metal, it took Jace several seconds to realize it. By the time he did, his fingers had already followed the line of the chain down to the center of Simon’s chest, where the object that hung from it rested beneath his t-shirt. He recognized its shape at the same time he felt Simon go unnaturally still.

“I didn’t want to lose it,” Simon said in a rush.

Jace traced the shape of the ring through Simon’s shirt. His ring. “It’s a good place to keep it.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Jace agreed, flattening his hand against Simon’s chest. The ring pressed into his palm, the telltale beat of Simon’s heart thrumming behind it. He wondered if his own were beating just as fast.

“You know,” he said slowly, “Alec is getting married next month.”

Simon relaxed against him with a soft huff of laughter. “Yeah, I think I heard something about that in the approximately five hundred phone calls you’ve had in the last couple weeks.”

“A best man’s work is never done, apparently.” He took a breath, let it out. “But, I was thinking, you should come with me.”

Simon craned his neck to look at him. “Like, to play your boyfriend again, or…?”

As my date. It was on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t force the words past his lips. He wasn’t ready to risk that he might be reading this wrong. He’d done it before, and for reasons he couldn’t put his finger on, it felt so much more dangerous now.

“I mean, it would be weird if you didn’t, right?” he said instead. “Since my entire family thinks we’re together still.”

“Right.” Simon looked back at the book in his lap, but he didn’t make any move to pull away. Jace could almost imagine he sounded disappointed. “Totally weird. I think Clary’s expecting me to be there, anyway.”

“Cool. I’ll RSVP you as my plus-one.”

Simon made a soft noise of affirmation and returned to his reading. Jace tried to go back to his, but he found himself unable to concentrate. After reading the same paragraph five times and not retaining a single word of it, he gave up and let his head loll against the back of the couch, cheek resting lightly against the top of Simon’s head. He closed his eyes and let his mind drift.

Jace was pulled out of sleep sometime later by gentle fingers stroking through his hair. He scrunched up his face and made an unhappy noise; he wasn’t ready to be awake.

“If you’re going to sleep, you should go to bed.”

Jace cracked an eye open to find Simon watching him with a fond smile. Still half-asleep, it was easy to smile back, something warm and soft settling in his chest. Sometime while he slept, they’d shifted again so Simon was leaning back against the arm of the couch with Jace sprawled half on top of him. Simon’s books were stacked neatly on the coffee table. Jace wondered how long they’d been there.

“‘M comfy.”

Simon chuckled. “You won’t be if you stay here all night and wake up with a sore back.”

Jace thought that spending the night with Simon as his pillow might be worth waking up with a sore back, but the fog of sleep had lifted enough that the feeling of impending danger was returning. He pushed himself up to sitting and immediately missed Simon’s warmth.

“I think I’m a couple decades away from waking up with a sore back from one night spent on the couch.”

He reached for his dirty bowl, still sitting on the table, but Simon stopped him with a hand on his arm.

“Leave it. You’re tired; I’ve got the dishes.”

Jace frowned at him.

“Go to bed,” Simon insisted with a laugh. “You’re obviously exhausted.”

It was the laugh that got him. The way Simon’s eyes crinkled at the corners. The way he always smiled wide enough to show teeth. The way it never failed to tug at something inside Jace, urging him to smile back no matter how much he might resist it. Except this time it was less of a tug than a wrench that threatened to break him wide open.

Jace remembered, with sudden, vivid clarity, that drunken conversation he’d had with Maia last year. The one he tried to forget ever happened.

They’d all be hanging out at Maia’s new apartment, a tiny studio that wasn’t really big enough to host a six-person housewarming party, but they’d made it work because she was so proud of finally making good enough tips she could afford to live in her own place off campus.

Everyone but Jace had early morning classes that semester, so he’d stayed behind to keep the party going with Maia while the others had headed home. Jace didn’t remember how many shots it had taken for him to start complaining about Simon’s propensity for wandering around the apartment in only a towel, but he absolutely remembered Maia’s knowing grin.

“Someone’s got a crush.”

“It’s not a crush,” Jace had insisted. “He’s just annoyingly hot.” If he’d been sober, he wouldn’t have spoken the next words. He wouldn’t have even let himself think them. “And I bet he’d be stupidly easy to fall in love with, too.”

And then Maia had laughed so hard she’d fallen over onto her cheap, beige carpet that still smelled faintly of new plastic while Jace was left to deal with the slowly dawning realization of what he’d just said.

“Before you fall asleep again,” Simon prompted, snapping Jace’s mind back to the present. Where Simon was smiling at him with an indisputable fondness that made Jace feel raw and exposed.

“Right,” Jace said, practically jumping up from the couch. “Bed. Thanks. For,” he waved his hand vaguely, “dishes and whatever.”

“No problem,” Simon said, bemused. “Sleep well.”

Jace understood what that feeling of danger was about now. It seemed there was some truth to that old adage about finding answers at the bottom of a bottle; it had been so easy, he wasn’t even sure when he’d fallen in love.

~~~

“You’re sure this is a classic?” Jace eyed the grainy opening shots of the movie playing on Simon’s laptop with some skepticism.

They normally did movie night out in the living room, on the flat-screen TV that had probably cost more than every other piece of furniture in their apartment combined, but Simon insisted a film this old would look ridiculous on a large HD screen. Considering how bad it looked even on Simon’s old laptop, it was probably the right call. And Jace wasn’t going to complain about having to squish together on Simon’s bed so they could both see the screen, even if that did make it feel perilously close to being a date.

“Cult classic,” Simon corrected. “Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama is, like, peak so-bad-it’s-good 80’s horror comedy. And they’re making a sequel with the original cast, so you have to watch the original.”

Jace grabbed a fistful of popcorn from the bowl in Simon’s lap. “You mean so you can drag me to the sequel when it comes out?”

“Exactly.” Simon grinned at him. “Thanks for offering to see it with me.”

“That’s not what just happened,” Jace said around a mouthful of popcorn.

“Agree to disagree.”

The movie turned out to be surprisingly entertaining, film quality and 80’s aesthetics notwithstanding. And the atrocious special effects. And, well, the entire plot, really.

“Do you think sororities were really like that back in the 80’s?” Simon wondered as the titular sorority babes outlined the hazing their pledges would undergo.

“It wouldn’t surprise me if some of them still are,” Jace said. “But Greek life isn’t really my thing, even if I have seen the inside of a few sorority houses in my time.”

“Was that supposed to be a flex?”

Jace ignored that comment and pulled out his phone. “Alec might know, though.”

Simon leaned in to watch Jace type, resting his chin on Jace’s shoulder. “I know I’ve only met your brother once, but I’m having trouble picturing him anywhere near a sorority.”

“Alec was in a fraternity in college,” Jace explained.

“Yeah, no, still not seeing it.” Even after Jace sent the text, he didn’t move away.

Alec’s response came only moments later.

why would I know that Phi Beta Kappa is an academic fraternity and sorority girls are well outside my areas of interest

“Okay, that makes sense.” Simon slid the bowl of popcorn off his lap so he could lean more fully into Jace’s side.

maybe ask Iz

Jace snorted and slipped his phone back into his pocket. He reached for the popcorn and gave an irritated huff when he found it just out of reach.

Without taking his eyes off the screen, Simon grabbed the bowl and moved it to Jace’s other side. On impulse, Jace caught his hand and laced their fingers together. They hadn’t talked about that night on the couch—not about the casual intimacy or Simon wearing Jace’s ring around his neck or Jace falling asleep on Simon or any of it—but there was no question things were different between them since. Or maybe it was just Jace that was different, knowing how deep he was in this just making him more reckless with his heart.

Simon’s fingers curled around his, his arm coming to rest draped over Jace’s hip as he let out a small, contented sigh.

Okay, so maybe it wasn’t just Jace. But Jace wasn’t exactly sure what to do about it. He could probably have written an entire treatise on navigating hookups, but he had no idea how to navigate…whatever this was. The only experience he had with actual romantic relationships was with Clary, and despite how fucked up they’d both been back then—or maybe even because they’d both been so fucked up—there had never been any ambiguity about how they felt, no questions about what they were to each other. No wondering if she knew she could do so much better than him.

It was different with Simon. Simon, who never seemed fazed by the shit life threw at him. Simon, who actually dated, and always seemed to leave a breakup on good terms. Simon, who held him like he was afraid Jace might break, who fucked him like he wanted him to break.

Simon, who had to know he could do better than Jace.

“Let me guess,” Jace said as the two characters he’d mentally tagged as the protagonists ducked into a closet to escape a demonic minion, “the nerd and the hot bad girl are the only survivors, and they get together at the end.”

Simon gave him an unimpressed look. “You don’t get any points for guessing that. This is a comedy made in the 80’s that leans heavily into the tropes of the era.”

“Yeah, but that’s not why I guessed it. I just figured you’d be into the whole ‘nerd gets the bad girl’ thing.”

“That’s not why I like this movie,” Simon said. “But Spider might have been part of why 12-year-old me liked this movie,” he admitted.

“Thought so,” Jace said smugly.

“You’re the worst.” Simon’s arm tightened around Jace’s waist, belying his words. “I’m seriously questioning why I even like you right now.”

“Because I’m charming, witty, and great in bed.”

The smile Simon flashed him probably shouldn’t have made Jace’s stomach do a pleasant little flip, but it did. “Those are some pretty great selling points.”

“Watch your dumb movie,” Jace said, trying and failing to hide his own smile.

When Jace’s phone buzzed several minutes later during a particularly tense scene, they both jumped. Jace pulled it out to check his new messages, then chuckled and turned the screen so Simon could read Alec’s message.

Magnus says there was at least one sorority exactly like that five years ago also I’m now being subjected to this atrocious movie, so thanks for that

“I knew Magnus would have good taste in movies,” Simon commented.

“I’m disturbed you can even talk about this movie and good taste in the same sentence.”

“Oh, come on,” Simon said reproachfully. “Didn’t you once tell me that any movie with boobs and explosions was a good movie?”

“Yeah, but this movie doesn’t have any—” On screen, the nerd threw a Molotov cocktail at a possessed sorority babe. Jace sighed. “Objection withdrawn.”

Simon flashed him a smug grin. “Admit it, I’ve got fantastic taste.”

Jace smirked. “I do like the way you taste.”

“Not what I—” He cut off as Jace illustrated his point by licking a line up Simon’s throat.

Simon let out a hiss. “You’re going to miss the end of the movie.” He didn’t pull away.

“Told you,” Jace murmured, scraping teeth along his jaw, “I already know the nerd and biker girl are going to survive. I don’t need to see the end.”

Simon turned his head to catch Jace’s lips with his own in a surprisingly gentle kiss, his hand coming up to cup Jace’s cheek. They stayed like that for what felt to Jace like hours but couldn’t actually have been more than a minute or two judging by the tinny screams coming from the laptop speakers.

“What do you need?” Simon whispered when he finally broke the kiss. His tone was teasing, but the way his thumb caressed Jace’s cheekbone was all sincerity.

“Just this,” Jace whispered back, and it was the truest thing he’d ever said.

Then they were kissing again, slow and soft, and Jace thought he might drown in it, thought he might want to drown in it. He kissed Simon like he’d been wanting to for weeks, for months. Maybe longer. He put everything he felt into the kiss—his hope and his love and his fear—and prayed that Simon would understand, that he wouldn’t pull away.

He didn’t.

They kissed until they were breathless with it, until the last strains of the movie’s closing credits had long since faded away, until there was no room for anything in Jace’s thoughts and heart and dreams but Simon. He knew he was grinning like an idiot when they finally broke apart, and he couldn’t bring himself to care. Especially not with Simon grinning back at him.

“See?” Jace combed a hand through Simon’s curls. He couldn’t stop touching. “Way better than that movie.”

“You don’t know that,” Simon protested. “You didn’t even watch the end. It could have been twenty straight minutes of boobs and explosions, and you’d never even know.”

“Weirdly, I think I might like kissing you even more than I like boobs and explosions.”

“Wow, high praise.” Simon was still teasing, and Jace suddenly needed him to understand how much he wasn’t really joking.

“No, seriously.” He wrapped a hand around the back of Simon’s neck, drew him close enough to feel his breath. “I—” Words he meant far too much—that would be too much—stuck behind his teeth. “I’m not really here for the movie,” he said instead. “No matter how many boobs or explosions it has. You get that, right?”

“I—yeah.”

There was something subdued and almost vulnerable in Simon’s voice, something that didn’t quite track with the conversation they were having, but before Jace could even catch the thread of it, he was being pushed back into the bed and kissed breathless once again. By the time Simon was tugging his shirt over his head, brushing calloused fingertips over a peaked nipple and making him gasp, Jace thought he must have imagined it.

Simon took him apart slowly, deliberately, maintaining a calm focus even when Jace teased, never altering his pace even when Jace begged. And Jace did beg, edging on desperation before they even got all their clothes off. By the time Simon had him spread out on the bed, opening him up with slick fingers and teasing his dick with strokes far too light to even approach enough, Jace wasn’t sure he was capable of anything but begging.

“Simon, please.” He scrabbled ineffectually at Simon’s shoulders, trying ineffectually to drag him close. The angle was bad for it, but Simon was also strong, something that was easy to forget until they were like this. It was also seriously fucking hot. “Please. Fuck. Need you in me already, please.”

“You’re so beautiful.” There was an edge to Simon’s voice, but Jace still thought he sounded far too composed for what they were doing, for what he was doing to Jace. “God, do you even know?”

Jace couldn’t even begin to answer, because Simon chose that moment to press his fingers very deliberately against Jace’s prostate, and the only words Jace was capable of anymore were garbled curses and Simon’s name.

“You have to know.” Simon withdrew his fingers and all Jace could do was whine in protest. “I bet people tell you all the time.”

Jace shook his head, not sure if he was disagreeing or just objecting to the sudden tragic lack of Simon’s hands on him and in him. Simon pressed a soothing kiss to his knee before pulling away to roll a condom onto his own dick, which took way too long in Jace’s opinion, but it was enough time for Jace to find his voice again.

“Please, Simon.” His voice was half a sob, and he didn’t even care. “Need you.”

“You’ve got me,” Simon breathed, the faintest tremor in his voice as leaned in to line his cock up with Jace’s hole and brushed the lightest of kisses against his lips.

“Yes,” Jace whispered. “Yes, please.”

And then Simon was finally, finally pushing inside, and Jace was rocking down against him, desperate and greedy for everything Simon was willing to give him. It took exactly two thrusts for Simon’s composure to crack completely, and Jace swallowed down his moans as greedily as he took everything else, licking into Simon’s mouth to chase every sound.

Jace would have been embarrassed by how quickly he came after that, lasting maybe a full ten seconds after Simon wrapped a hand around his dick, except that Simon was right there with him, following him over the edge with a barely audible, “Fuck, fuck, Jace, oh god.”

After, they lay next to each other on the bed, catching their breaths. This would normally be when one of them left to go back to their own room, or went to take a shower, or make food, or anything, really, to keep this thing between them from seeming like more than it was. Except it was more for Jace. Maybe for both of them.

“You’ve got me.”

Jace wasn’t sure if Simon had meant the words the way Jace wanted him to, but he wasn’t ready to let go of the possibility that he did. Trying not to overthink it, he curled into Simon’s side, resting a hand on his chest.

For a few seconds, Simon went absolutely still, and Jace thought for sure he’d fucked everything up. But just as cold dread was beginning to claw its way up his throat, Simon let out a shaky breath and cuddled closer, pulling the blanket up to cover them both and covering Jace’s hand with his own. Jace smiled into Simon’s shoulder.

“You’ve got me.”

He would hold onto that for as long as Simon let him.

#shadowhunters #shmb2021 #jimon #jimon fic #jace wayland #simon lewis #pun absolutely intended #i regret nothing

[mparwyn]

“Come here, I’m going to show you how to plate this fancily.”

old memes -- feel free to reply and thank you for asking!

"me?" arwyn's brow very nearly popped in utter surprise. "hm." he hummed as he nodded lightly at the other demigod, letting her take control momentarily as he strolled lightly to her side. "what are you plating then?" curiousity got the better of him as he leaned a little too close, trying to get a better view of the plate of food that she was planning to show off to him.

"are we eating that later?" his stomach rumbled loudly at the thought, and his ears flushed with embarrassment. "i was just kinda...hungry after a few hours of baking and cooking. we're eating what we made, right?" his eyes couldn't stray from the beef stroganoff before them, tongue darting out slightly to lick his lips. "and its beef stroganoff." he mumbled. "how else can it be plated apart from just being dumped into a bowl or plate?"

#//: moonchild : memes

[fleckcmscott]

Watch What Happens - Chapter 8

Chapter links: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Summary: Arthur, an aspiring comedian, has struggled to find normalcy and compassion his entire life. Y/N, a hard-working paralegal and transplant to Gotham, has just been put on a case for the Wayne Foundation. When they meet, unexpected sparks fly.

Chapter warning: Swearing

Words: 3,835

A/N: Totally self-indulgent, but when Sinatra is mentioned, this is the song I hear playing (though almost any would do): Nice ‘N’ Easy

Also, a big thanks to @harmonioussolve​ for reading this chapter before I had the courage to post anything!

Arthur paced in front of the door to Y/N’s apartment. His shoulders lifted as he sucked in a deep breath. He couldn’t stop fiddling with the collar buttons of the red sweater he wore (one of the few pieces of clothing he had that fit him properly). A rose was in his hand, one he’d grabbed at a vendor on the way over. He’d gotten it on a lark - women were supposed to like flowers. Now he was on the verge of worrying off the leaves.

It’ll be fine. It’s only Y/N. Only Y/N - what a joke.

Forcing himself to stand still, he slowly raised his hand to trace the apartment number, 4A. Then he swallowed hard and knocked.

“Just a minute!” she called.

At the sound of her voice, he leaned forward to listen to her slight shuffling. As her footsteps brought her nearer, he screwed his eyes shut, trying to calm his pulse. Hearing the sound of the deadbolt being unlocked, he straightened. The door swung open.

There she stood, beaming. His breath stopped. That smile was for him. Because of him. It was hard to take-in. His eyebrows lifted and he held out the flower. “Hi.”

“Hi, Arthur. You look wonderful.”

His cheeks burned and he lowered his eyes to the floor. “Thanks. So do you,” he said.

Y/N took the rose from him and gently ran her fingertips over the petals. “This is lovely. Thank you.” She stepped back, then, and extended her arm to guide him inside. “Come in, come in.” After closing the door behind her, she darted back to the kitchen. “You can put your coat on the hooks by the door.”

He did as she instructed, shrugging out of his jacket and hanging it up next to hers. He felt his throat clench and pressed the back of his hand to his mouth. Don’t fuck this up. Letting out a long breath, he stepped further into the apartment and peeked around.

It was different than he’d imagined. The white walls were sparsely decorated, with a calendar here or a print there. The cream colored carpet was plush, but struck him as a pain to keep clean. The living area was larger than his own, maybe by ten square feet. In the low light of the side table lamp, he could see there were no knick-knacks anywhere, no photos. Two doors were connected to the room, which he deduced were for the bathroom and bedroom. A third, glass door led outside. His eyes went to the kitchen, which was in the same spot as in his own apartment. It was somewhat longer, with a dining nook at the end.

He knew he was out of place. The freshness, the newness of the apartment was a stark contrast to his own, aged home. It was nice to be here, though. Different, but nice.

Y/N interrupted his reverie. “Did you have any trouble finding your way here?”

Arthur approached her, leaning against the kitchen entrance and folding his arms over his chest. “No, you gave good directions.”

She cocked her head at him. “I was thinking the other day how it’s funny you live so close by. Well, relatively close by.” Stirring slowly, her attention back to the stove, she continued. “I wonder how often we passed each other without noticing,” she said.

The words, spoken in her usual casual tone, landed with him, hard. He didn’t answer, unsure of what to say. Instead, he tried to focus on her easy manner. So far, it had always helped him relax.

He let his eyes rove over her form, noting that her conservative heels complimented the curves of the back of her calves. Her knee-length skirt prevented him from checking out her thighs, but it accentuated the feminine silhouette of her backside. The blue sweater she wore was snug, and he could make out the curve of her breasts. Her hair looked soft, and he alternated between wanting to touch it and breath in her scent.

The moment she looked at him, he averted his eyes to what she was cooking. He didn’t recognize it. “That smells good. What is it?”

“Beef stroganoff. I can’t take too much credit. My crock-pot did most of the work. I’m just boiling the egg noodles now, which is about the height of my cooking skills.” She huffed and shook her head at herself. “I’m selling myself well, aren’t I?”

Arthur met her gaze, then pushed himself to verbalize what came to mind. “I’m already sold on you.” He froze for a split second, then smiled in relief as her eyes warmed and he realized he’d said the right thing. As she retrieved a colander, he saw that she’d put the rose he’d brought in a glass of water. Emboldened, he stepped next to her. “I’m actually okay around the kitchen, taking care of my mother… Maybe I can help?”

She placed the colander in the sink as she fished a noodle out of the pot. After testing it, she handed him oven mitts. “Yeah, would you drain these? The pot’s heavy and I messed up my wrist at work today. Too much typing.”

He put them on and picked up the pot. “Are you all right?” he asked. Dumping the noodles into the sink, he watched her take out plates, cutlery, wine glasses, and a bottle of red wine.

Shit. Maybe Gary had been right.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” she said, placing the silverware on the table. “Happens sometimes. Occupational hazard.” She grabbed the wine corker and opened the bottle, then held it out to him. “Here. You pour and I’ll serve.”

“Um, okay.” He took the it from her and furrowed his brow at the glasses. He’d drunk occasionally, but wine was new to him, and he was trying to figure out how much to pour. Half a glass? A full glass? He went with the latter.

Y/N’s hand was on his bicep in an instant and he stiffened. “Arthur, that’s too much,” she laughed. “Are you trying to take advantage of me?”

He flinched and put the bottle down. Did she really think that? “No, I wasn’t-.”

Her hand moving down his arm to the back of his hand stopped him. “I’m teasing you,” she said. She gave him a little squeeze. “You’re going to have to get used to it.”

The smile she was giving him, the glint in her eye, her close proximity. For a moment, he could see himself clearing the counter with his arm, lifting her onto it, stepping between her legs, pulling her mouth to his -

A nudge from her elbow caught his attention. “Is this enough?”

He blinked down at the portion. It was more than he usually ate in a day. “That’s plenty.”

After serving herself, she grabbed both plates and brought them to the small, round table at the end of the kitchen. He followed her lead, wine glasses in his hands. The corner of his mouth turned up when he saw he was supposed to sit next to her, not across from her. She sat down and put a cloth napkin in her lap, and, taking his cue from her, he did the same. “Well, enjoy.”

Arthur watched her movements for a few seconds before starting. He wasn’t used to sitting at a table and eating with someone, even though he’d often wished for it. It had always been more casual: TV dinners on the couch, or alone at his table as he wrote in his journal. He observed the way she held the knife and fork, in her right and left hands, respectively. He was used to cutting his food with the side of his fork. He tried to hold the cutlery in the same manner she did, but it felt unnatural. He could feel himself tense up. A short laugh forced its way through his throat. Wincing, he instinctively covered his mouth.

Y/N lightly put her hand on his shoulder, caressing him soothingly, then gave him a tender squeeze. “It’s okay. I’m a little nervous, too.” She hummed softly with a blush. “And I didn’t invite you here to be uncomfortable or someone else. Eat how you want.”

His eyes watered but he managed to blink it back, hoping she didn’t notice. She had no idea how often he wished to be someone else, away from this city, his conditions. But not tonight. He was glad to be here tonight. With her. Lowering the hand from his lips, he nodded. Taking his fork in his right hand, he took a bite. He chewed it slowly and mulled over the texture. “It’s very good,” he said. “Thank you.”

“It’s great when the weather’s this chilly.”

A few mouthfuls later, he tried the wine. It was surprising, a little dry, but he decided he liked it. He cleared his throat. “I know we talked about this before, but I still don’t understand how you could choose Gotham to live in. There are other cities.”

She took a drink herself. “I needed time to save up enough money to move. I was doing legal work at home, too. Once I’d put away enough and could leave, I applied to every paralegal job in a big city. Metropolis, Toronto, Central City. I didn’t care where it was. And I got work in Gotham.” She looked pleased. “I’m glad I did.”

Bashfully, he smiled back. “Me, too,” he said.

Looking ahead, she chewed thoughtfully. “I never felt at home in Boonville, you know? It’s such a small town. Nothing to do, not much opportunity. I thought I’d be able to settle down there and be content with my ex-husband, but that didn’t happen.” She squinted then and her eyes pierced his. “It doesn’t bother you, does it? That I’m divorced? I know it’s unusual, but I got married twenty years ago when we were both young and stupid.”

He wouldn’t have minded if she’d been locked up in Arkham with him. Arthur shook his head. “Does it bother you that I’m not?” He could see her shoulders loosen at his answer.

Chuckling, she continued to eat. “You seem to hate it here.”

He paused, pondering what to say that wouldn’t put her off. For reasons he would never understand, she loved Gotham. “People can be awful.” Bitter memories starting surfacing. “They’ll cut you off in line like you’re not even there. There was a homeless guy once, who died on the sidewalk near where I live. People were just stepping over him. Like they didn’t even notice.”

His voice lowered as he poked at the food on his plate. “What happened on the train?” he said. “That wasn’t the first time. You’re the only reason I got out of there all right.” He brought a hand to his forehead. “It’s tiring. And embarrassing.”

Y/N’s hand touched his and he let her pull it away from his face. “Don’t be embarrassed because others are assholes. Just don’t be one yourself. That’s all anyone can do.” She finished the last few bites of her food. “There are awful people everywhere.” A short snort escaped her. “At least here it’s in your face and you know where you stand.”

They continued in silence for a few moments, Arthur finishing his meal. “Oh, I haven’t told you yet.” He perked up, a wide smile on his face. “I have a stand-up show next Tuesday at eight. Maybe you should come see me?”

She stood, grinning down at him “Of course I’ll be there. Just tell me where.” Bending slightly at the waist, she picked up their plates. “Would you like seconds?”

He observed her, the closeness of her face. Suddenly, he was hungry again. “Please.”

~~~~~

Nicotine soothed what remained of Arthur’s nerves as he stood on the fire escape, cigarette in his mouth. He’d been craving a smoke since entering the apartment building. His eyes crinkled at the corners as he went over the evening so far. He was feeling pretty good, which was new. He hadn’t made a mistake, except with the wine, which Y/N didn’t seem to mind too much. It was nice to be around a person who so comfortable with themselves. He hoped it would be contagious - it seemed to be when he was around her.

At least partially. Part of him wondered what she saw in him, anyway. A professional woman like her interested in a high-school dropout like him? He hadn’t minded leaving school at the time. It had been difficult, with his laughter and black moods. And quitting had eventually become a necessity so he could take care of his mother. Working odd jobs and concentrating on comedy and performing had helped him get out of his own head, at least for a time. Y/N was such a contrast, having gone to college and made something of herself. He hoped she never realized he was worthless.

He closed his eyes against the musings worming their way into his brain, wishing his mind would let him enjoy himself. He felt himself slipping sometimes, though he still mostly managed to push through the negative thoughts. They were recurring more often, however. Two of his medications had run out. He only had enough of the rest to get him through Sunday. The effects of suddenly stopping them wasn’t something he knew much about, having been on them for so long. And now he had no one he could go to to ask. So far, the most obvious change had been the shortening of his refractory period from a few days to a few hours.

Though Y/N might have also helped with that. He blushed, feeling a little shameful, thinking about it with her maybe twelve feet away.

As if on cue, he heard her open the glass door behind him. “The ad for the apartment said this was supposed to be a balcony,” she giggled. When he didn’t reply, she loosely put her arm around his back at his waist. “Arthur, you’re so tightly wound. I want you to have a good time. You need more wine.”

He chuckled, the corner of his mouth turning up as he blew smoke through his nose.

Her voice was apologetic when she spoke again. “I’ve noticed when I touch you, you sometimes tense up.” Y/N stroked his side, softening her words. “Should I stop? I don’t want to, but if you-”

Arthur turned to her, grasping her hand desperately. “No. Please.” He entwined their fingers, savoring her smaller palm against his own. It was odd to voice what he craved as if it mattered. “I want you to touch me. I think about it a lot.” He scoffed at his own vulnerability. “I’m - I’m just not used to it.”

She nodded in understanding, tightening her hold on him. “It’s been a couple years for me, too.”

He flicked his cigarette off the ledge and watched it as it fell. It’s only been thirty-five here.

“Come back in,” she said, turning and pulling him inside. “It’s cold out and you could do without the cancer sticks.”

The notes of music coming from a radio in the corner caught his ear. Sinatra was playing. After closing the door, she stood in front of him expectantly. When he gave her a crooked smile but didn’t move, she extended her hand to him. “Mr. Fleck, you told me you were a good dancer,” she said, lifting an eyebrow. “Show me? Quick, before the alcohol wears off and I change my mind.”

He grasped her hand tenderly, then, and stepped closer. “Change your mind? About me?”

“No, silly. Embarrassing myself.” She gripped his shoulder.

Arthur scoffed. “I don’t think that’s possible.” It took him a couple seconds to steel himself before he could place his hand on her side. Gently, he started to move, leading her to the song’s beat and rhythm. He longed to look into her eyes, and did so for a few moments before self-consciousness took over. When that happened he pulled her closer, his eyes shutting as his jaw grazed her cheek.

After a few minutes, her forehead fell forward onto his shoulder. She moved her hand to his chest and sighed contentedly. “Where’d you learn how to dance?”

His hand went over hers. “My mom taught me when I was little. That’s when I started. And I’ve listened to a lot of Jackie Gleason Orchestra records.” He dipped her, then, not too far, but enough to feel her weight on his arm.

She laughed. “Those records are so cheesy. I love it.” When he brought her back up, she put her hand to her forehead. “I gotta sit down. My head’s spinning.” At his disappointed groan, she waved dismissively and sat on the couch. After taking off her heels and pouring a third glass of wine, she cleared her throat. “I’ve been thinking about you and your mother. You’re in a tough situation. I’ve been there.”

“You have?” he asked.

Y/N swallowed hard, taking a drink. “One of the reasons I had to stay home for so long was my father. He had dementia.” Looking up at him, she added, “Is that what you deal with?”

His brow pinched and he sat next to her. “I’m not sure. She’s been sick a long time. She focuses on strange things.” He rolled his eyes, already annoyed. “Lately, she’s been obsessed with Thomas Wayne.” Sighing, he said, “She keeps writing him letters asking for help, because she worked for them thirty years ago.”

She nodded and turned her body to face him. “My father got like that, too. Always obsessed with the mail. Thinking someone was stealing from him.” She sniffled once and swiped at her nose. “My mother had passed away. My sister - I have a sister - she tried but she has her own children.” Tucking her feet under herself, she leaned against the back of the sofa. “In the end, the worst thing was the emotional back and forth. Most days he was a shadow of who he used to be. But there were days when he knew who I was.” She clicked her tongue. “You keep hoping for more of those, but they don’t come.”

Arthur saw her lip tremble and her eyes gloss over. Pressure formed in his chest. He wanted to comfort her and make her smile, but he didn’t know how to do it. He settled for putting his hand on her forearm and turning to her.

Staring into the distance, she continued. “You get to the point where you don’t recognize yourself. All you want is to be alone with your thoughts instead of…” She blinked a couple times and looked at him, as if realizing she wasn’t alone, and grimaced shyly. She put down the wine glass. The heel of her hand went to her eyes to wipe away unshed tears. “Whew. I shouldn’t have started that third glass. I’m sorry. I’ve ruined our beautiful evening.”

“No,” he answered quickly, moving his hand to her shoulder, the way she had comforted him at the dinner table. “You didn’t.”

She stood, still seemingly embarrassed. “You’re too kind.” She held her hip and looked down at him. “You’ve asked a couple of times if I was real. Are you sure you are? You seem too good to be true. How are you not married with five children or something?”

He widened his eyes and studied the surface of the coffee table, laughing quietly. Good thing she couldn’t read his mind. Or his journal. “Now I know you’ve had too much to drink,” he said.

She continued to stand there, looking down at him with narrowed eyes. “It’s possible.”

He smiled wryly. Sensing the evening was winding down, he picked up the glasses and brought them to the kitchen. He put his hands on the edge of the counter, grasping until his knuckles were white. Even though he thought it would be the correct thing to do, considering she was tipsy, he didn’t want to leave.

Y/N followed. Her hand touched the small of his back as she moved to rummage in a bottom cabinet. “Let me pack some of this up for you and your mother.” She pulled out a few Tupperware dishes.

“You don’t have to do that,” he said.

Not heeding his words, she started to fill each dish with a separate part of the meal. “I’m one person. It’ll go bad before I eat it. Plus, I want to.”

Arthur slowly went to the door and pulled on his jacket. When he turned around, she stood before him, a grin on her face, bag of leftovers dangling from her fingertips. “Thank you for coming over, Arthur. It was the best night I’ve had in a long time.” She leaned forward, stood on her toes, and gave his cheek a tender kiss.

He let out a long breath, then, staring at the floor before meeting her look. Before the moment passed, before he left, he had the urgent need to do something, anything. His voice cracked slightly. “Y/N, I…” For one of the first times in his life, he followed his instinct, placed his hands on the sides of her face, and leaned in to kiss her.

Y/N’s lips were soft, so soft, against his own, and her short moan warmed him. He could feel her pull him closer, her hands going across his back as his own slid down to her sides. She tilted her head and deepened the kiss, one of her palms going to the nape of his neck, her fingers in his hair. When her fingernails met his scalp, a groan escaped him and he grasped her hip. It happened so quickly. He felt himself hardening in his pants as her lips sought his.

She broke the kiss first, gasping and giggling. “I’ll be at your show next week, all right?”

Arthur was lightheaded; she was still hanging onto him. His voice was unsteady when he answered. “Yes. Okay.”

She finally released him from her arms and handed him the food. He took it gratefully, a sad smile breaking out as he turned to leave. She tempered the blow by giving him another quick kiss when she opened the door. “Get home safely.”

He nodded, voice raspy when he answered. “I will.”

She slowly started shutting the door, whispering, “Good night” before it closed completely.

Arthur stood in the hallway. Closing his eyes and breathing deeply, he attempted to quiet his heart. Did she know what she did to him, how quickly and hard he had already fallen for her?

With a sigh, he started down the hall, stretching his arms in front of him to expel the energy built up in his wiry frame. After the elevator opened, he entered it with a little spin, and chuckled, thinking about he was going to need a new journal after writing tonight.

Tag list (Let me know if you want to be added!): @harmonioussolve​@clowndaddyfleck​ @stephieraptorr @rommies @sweet-nothings04​

#arthur fleck x reader #arthur fleck fanfic #arthur fleck x ofc #arthur fleck #joker 2019 #arthur fleck x female reader #watchwhathappens

[emilydoesscience]

FMLS90 Challenge: freezer meals

I already posted this website that I love, but I went out today and made a bunch of the recipes. We've made them before so I picked a bunch of our favorites and set them up. It took about 1.5 hr plus shopping time to prep and freeze my meals. Here's the website:

I made Vegetable Beef Stew, Beef Stroganoff, 2xCranberry Mustard Pork, Mushroom Barley Stew, Lentil Butternut Squash Curry, and Butter Chicken. It cost me about $85, but I had all of the spices already.

After shopping, I label my bags with the contents, date and instructions to cook.

Then I start mincing onions and carrots. I use frozen green beans and corn.

I set the bags up in a large container and use my food scale to portion the meat from larger packages. Once they are sealed, they go downstairs to the freezer. Each bag will feed me, my husband and son for about two dinners plus lunch for me.

To cook them, I'll pull one out in the morning and dump it into my Crock-Pot and set it to low for the day. My Crock-Pot has a timer where it'll switch to keep warm if I will be out longer than the instructions call for. Most of the recipes call for some added water or broth morning of, and maybe a carb like noodles or rice to eat with. I usually add some veggies, like frozen spinach to the beef stroganoff, or beans to the stew.

It's a great time saver if you can spare the 2 hours to shop and set up!

#fmls90

[russianringmaster]

About...

Full Name: Sergei Smirnov

 Nickname: None

 Age: 43

 Date of Birth: June 7, 1981

 Zodiac: Gemini/Year of the Rooster

 Species: Human

 Gender: Male

 Sexual Orientation: Straight

 Nationality: Russian

 Hometown: Uglich, Russia

 Current Residence: Varied

 Occupation: Ringmaster

 For how long?: For 17 years

 Do they like his/her job?: He enjoys it.

 Salary: Unknown

 Abilities: Leadership

 If they had an element, what would it be?: Air

 Can they use it?: No

 What animal best represents them?: Eurasian Lynx

 Hand-to-Hand capability: Slightly above average

 When did they start learning?: Ten years old

 Who taught them?: His father.

 Weapons training: Guns and knives

 When did they start learning?: Ten years old

 Who taught them?: His father

 Physical strength: Average

 Speed: Average

 Planning: Well versed

 Powers: None

 Family

 Any significant ancestors?: None

 Grandparents (describe relationship): He adored his grandparents

 Aunts/Uncles (describe relationship): They get along well.

 Parents (describe relationship): He adores both parents. His father didn’t live long enough to see Sergei get put in prison. His mother is disappointed by this but still loves her son.

 Are they still together?: No

 Birth order: Oldest

 Siblings (describe relationship): A younger sister

 Nieces/Nephews: Two nieces.

 Children (describe relationship): N/a

 Are all children with the same partner?: N/a

 Is their relationship with their children important to character?: N/a

 Grandchildren (describe relationship): N/a

 What is the character’s family life like: Up until he joined the circus, his family life was calm and quiet.

 What does their family love most about them?: His discipline.

 Hate?: His mother hates that he took a dark path and was sent to prison.

 Does the family have a specific set of values?: Discipline and respect.

 What would their family be described like by another person?: Warm and organized.

 Have they ever had any pets?: Yes.

 What happened to them?: He still has the four wolves and spider monkey.

 Relationships

 Are they a virgin?: No

 How did they lose it?: At seventeen, on graduation night.

 Have they ever cheated on a partner?: No

 Has a partner ever cheated on them?: Yes

 How did they react?: He beat up the other guy and dumped his high school sweetheart.

 Who was their first crush?: His high school sweetheart

First love?: His high school sweetheart.

 Have they ever been married?: No

 Divorced?: No

 How many times have they been married/divorced?: 0

 Are they in any kind of romantic relationship?: Not at the current time.

 Describe the relationship with their current partner: N/A

 Who made the first move?: N/A

 How does your character truly feel about their partner?: N/A

 Who is your characters closest friend?: N/A

 How did they meet?: N/A

 Why do they get along so well?: N/A

 Describe relationship with any other significant friends: N/A

 Favorites

 Favorite foods: Beef Stroganoff

 Least favorite food: Pelmeni

 Favorite colors: Black

 Least favorite color: Yellow

 Music: Rock and Pop

 Literature: Biographies and mysteries

 Smell: hickory being burned in a fire.

 Feeling: Enjoys feeling organized.

 Season: Fall and winter

 Pets: Dogs

 Place: Alexandria Bay, New York.

 Favorite sport(s): Isn’t really into sports.

 Favorite Sayings: N/A

 Possession this character values most: His whip

 Why is it so important to them?: It’s become an extension of himself at this point.

 Physical Characteristics

 Height: 6’3”

 Weight:  148 pounds

 Body build: Slender

 Eye Color: Dark Blue

 Glasses or contact lenses?: Neither

 Hair Color: Black (partially bald)

 Type of hair: Straight

 Hairstyle: Short/neatly trimmed/partially bald

 Complexion and skin tone: Clear/Light skin tone

 Any particular blemishes?: Some scars on his arms and shoulders from animal training.

 Shape of Face: Long, slender, angular

 Style: (Elegant, shabby etc.): Monochromatic

 Intellectual/Mental/Personality Attributes and Attitudes

 Did they go to school?: Yes.

 Where?: Yakutsk

 What did they learn?: Average school lessons.

 Did they complete the curriculum?: Yes

 What were their grades like?: Slightly above average.

 Native language: Russian

 Do they know any other languages?: Russian, English, and German

 What are their strengths?: Leadership

 Weaknesses?: Being insulted

 Manner of Writing: Somewhat elegant.

 Any Mental Illnesses?: No

 Character’s short-term goals in life: Survival

 Character’s long-term goals in life: Survival

 How does your Character see themselves?: He think pretty highly of himself.

 How does your character believe they are perceived by others?: He is well aware that most people that meet him do not like him

 How self-confident is your character?: reasonably self-confident.

 What makes their self-confidence waver?: His prison time.

 What would embarrass your character the most?: Mentioning the above statement

 How does your character feel about love: He can take it or leave it.

 About crime: He has no problems with it.

 Politics?: Prefers not to discuss politics.

 People of a different sexuality?: He has no problem with various sexualities.

 Different nationality/race?: He finds it intriguing seeing different skin colors and learning about different nationalities.

 How does your character show affection/love?: He usually will tell you outright how he feels.

 How does your character handle grief? He shuts himself off more than usual.

 What are they like when they cry?: A hot mess (if you can actually get him to cry)

 What can make them cry?: It depends

 How does your character handle physical pain?: It depends on how bad the pain is.

 Emotional pain?: It depends on what kind of/how much emotional pain you’re putting him through.

 Is your character typically a leader or a follower?: A leader.

 Are they ‘big picture’ or 'little details’?: A mix of both.

 What kind of energy level does your character typically display?: Reasonably energetic

 Describe their sense of humor: Sarcastic

 Hobbies: Reading, listening to music.

 Talents: Organizing.

 Extremely unskilled at: Dancing.

 If any, what musical instruments can they play?: the piano

 Emotional Characteristics

 How does character relate to others?: It depends on the person/situation.

 How does the character deal with anger?: It depends on whom he’s dealing with.

 With sadness?: He emotionally shuts himself off or become an emotional mess.

 With conflict?: He will wait and see if things will be in his favor.

 With change?: He has learned to handle change reasonably well.

 With loss?: It depends on who/what he has lost.

 What does your character want out of life?: To survive

 What would your character like to change in his/her life?: To settle down in one spot.

 What motivates your character?: Survival.

 What frightens your character?: Prison

 Are they afraid of the Dark?: No

 Death?: No

 What makes your character happy?: Being organized.

 Sad?: Seeing things spiral out of control.

 Angry?: Almost everything.

 Aroused?: Silk sheets, his partner nibbling on his earlobe.

 Guilty?: His occasional overindulgence Smirnoff.

 Is your character judgmental of others?: It depends on the person.

 Is your character generous or stingy?: It varies from person to person

 Is your character generally polite or rude?: When meeting new people, he always puts his best foot forward.

 Optimistic or Pessimistic?: a mix of both.

 Introvert or Extrovert?: Introvert.

 Daredevil or Cautious?: Cautious

 Logical or Emotional?: Logical with a touch of emotional.

 Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat?: Methodical and neat.

 Would they rather be working or relaxing?: It depends.

 How do they feel about animals?: He knows they’re essential to his circus.

 They are most at ease when: Being in the center ring.

 Ill at ease when: Around police.

 What is their best quality?: Being organized

 What is their biggest flaw?: Short tempered, loud, and cruel (but he’s working on getting rid of those qualities though)

 Additional Notes on This Character:

 Theme Song: Welcome to the Black Parade by My Chemical Parade, I Write Sins, Not Tragedies by Panic! At The Disco

#About #The Secret Life of Pets 2 #Sergei #About Sergei #Character Info

[readitreviewit]

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[toolsofthechef]

Easy Instant Pot Beef Stroganoff - Dump and Go Recipe - Perfect for Beginners (Slow Cooker TOO!)

Easy Instant Pot Beef Stroganoff – Dump and Go Recipe – Perfect for Beginners (Slow Cooker TOO!)

Ready for a fast Instant Pot Recipe? I have the solution for dinner tonight! This Instant Pot Beef Stroganoff is SO easy and doesn’t take long from start to finish!

Find my cooking checklist here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DKWGgsKY9s

Check out my 9 Instant Pot DON’TS if you are a beginner to Instant Pot cooking! https://ww…

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