#dunno if someone did this already but-

[moongothic]

Crocodad AU where immidiately after having left Dragon and his baby boy Crocodile finds an 11 year old Robin. And while he's 100% only recruiting her so they can make a beeline for the Poneglyph and Pluton in Alabasta by the two of them... Crocodile accidentally sorta kinda adopts Robin.

At this point Robin's been running for her life from the Government for three years so her deep trust issues and fear of betrayal are starting to take root in her little heart. Like perhaps they haven't taken fully over yet, and being still a child I'm sure Robin might've still had that genuine hope that she could find a safe place to stay in. But I'm sure the though of "what'll he'll do with me once he gets what he wants?" would be nagging at her at the back of her mind. Meanwhile Crocodile's struggling between the pain and hurt he's already gone through and given him his trademark trust issues, as well as the aftermath of The Dragodile Divorce. But he also has his Fresh Paternal Instincts and probably misses his baby. So when given a small, scared child who is running for her life, being chased by the very same Government that'll want his son dead if they ever find out about him... Yeah that might fuck with your brain a little

You know this post was supposed to be just that first paragraph and just a few footnotes from the following two paragraphs. And then I kept on Having Thoughts. And I kept on writing them down. And oh no what happened when did this post get so long (Look I was going to either kept on writing my Additional Thoughts in the tags or I just put them in the actual fucking post)

Like considder this: based on this one SBS, we can kinda tell that if Crocodile was given a chance to raise a child, that child would be a spoiled little shit, right

So in this scenario, where Crocodile's looking after lil Robin, would he be kind of torn? Unsure how to feel about her?

Because on one hand, this strange child would have the potential to not only ruin his plans, strip him of his Shichibukai Privileges by outing him and his plans to the World Government, but also put his son in grave danger by extension (if she found out about him having been involved with the Revolutionaries and/or having a child). But on the other hand, his paternal instincts could make him want to spoil this poor little girl rotten. But only because he needs to (perhaps literally) buy her trust so she'll behave. No other reason, he doesn't feel sorry for her one bit, no sirree. (But maybe he did feel sorry for her, since his son could very well end up exactly like her. Poor little thing) (Which is why he needs to nuke Marijoa out of orbit as soon as possible, no matter the cost, and this child can't get in the way of Crocodile protecting his son) (But also this is a child. Like how bad could she be. Besides all he really needs to do to win her trust is be nice and make her feel safe, right?)

Of course, while I'm suggesting Crocodile could have some parental instincts, realistically, he hasn't actually spent any time being, you know, a father to a child (looking after his newborn for an unknown though short amount of time aside), so it's possible he wouldn't even know how to parent Robin even if he wanted to, would he? (Like taking care of a newborn and an 11 year old kid aren't the same either) So if he was kind of just emotionally flipflopping between No Trusting Ever and It's Just A Kid for God's Sake, Crocodile trying to be nice to Robin to make her feel safe and then telling himself to stop being so soft and vunerable... Yeah that would make for an absolute mess of a relationship. (Not to mention, let's be real, dude's a scary motherfucker too, and a bloody giant compared to itty bitty baby Robin. He could keep on accidentally scaring the shit out of Robin (who would be On Fucking Edge To Begin With) by just Being Himself. Like for example, can you fucking imagine if he caught Robin trying to cheer herself up with a little "dereshishishi" only to tell her to stop because "it was stupid"? 'Cause I can imagine him doing that, and boy howdy would that make Robin feel bad)

Or who knows, maybe Crocodile was just Born To Be A Dad, maybe he just Fucking Gets It. Like Crocodile is canonically pretty good at manipulating people to do what he wants them to do (see: how he played Vivi like a fiddle), so knowing Robin's position and understanding how she feels, maybe he COULD completely nail how she needed to be treated. Not being too familiar but still making her feel safe and happy, knowing exactly when to be stern and when to spoil her, etc. Dude just goes off and wins the Dad of the Year Award while being a deadbeat dad himself. The only thing Crocodile would have to worry about then would be making sure HE doesn't get too fond of her. And certainly that could never happen, he's so in-touch with his own feelings and so grounded, he's not a softie, get outta here. Or maybe he does but never realizes until it's too late and good luck backpedalling on those emotions now dumbass

Alright so, the reason I went on that whole rmble is just that like. I'm so interested in the relationship Robin and Crocodile already have in canon. I'm so facinated and curious about how the two feel about each other, considdering they did spend 4 whole years of their lives together as criminal business partners, though neither ever trusted the other. A partnership that was only ended because Robin betrayed Crocodile, out of her own trauma. (God, I want to see these two "reunite" so bad, I want to know how they feel about each other now after the timeskip and Robin joining the idiot in flipflops who foiled Croc's plans)

My question here is just that... if they had met 13 years earlier, would things have been different? Especially if Crocodad Real? Because as I mentioned in the begining, Robin would've been on the run for only 3 years by this point, as opposed to 16 years before running into Crocodile. Simultaneously, this would be before Crocodile went onto spend an entire decade all alone, slowly losing his marbles in his emotional solitude. They'd both be emotionally traumatized, yes, but would it have been as bad in this scenario? Like I did start this post kind of joking about Crocodile adopting Robin, and for clarity's sake I don't think they'd have like a father-daughter relationship nececarily. But it would be a strange relationship still, because we'd have two broken people, both struggling to trust anyone. One who had lost her mother and her only friends, leaving her all alone and afraid while running for her life. The other a father who had just given up his son whom he probably missed dearly. Both having these holes in their hearts from loss of family, holes that could not be filled with replacements. But could they find comfort in each other anyway, because they still as people occupy similar roles to their respective loved ones? If they both could just get over those trust issues?

Okay I've been going off on the Emotional Side Of Things for this AU Concept, THERE'S PLOT TOO

So if Crocodile did pick Robin up like 19 years ago, that should be before he set up base in Alabasta, long before he had built is homebase and financial empire etc.

Now the thing is, while we don't know when, where and how Crocodile learned about the Ancient Weapons, Pluton specifically and how the lead on it would be in Alabasta... Considdering Crocodile did once upon a time aim to become Pirate King, it would make perfect sense if he had learned about Poneglyphs during his past adventures, as he would have needed to get the Road Poneglyphs to find One Piece. And while the World Government did bury the truth about why Ohara had been burned down and why Robin had been given her bounty (remember, the WG claimed it was because she had sunken a fleet of battleships, which she had not, it was because she could read the Poneglyphs), considdering this is a Crocodad AU specifically, you could totally make an argument Crocodile could've learned about what actually happened to Ohara from Dragon and co. So, just to make this AU work, you could just assume Crocodile learned about the concept of the Ancient Weapons from Dragon. And who knows, maybe he overheard the truth about why Robin had been given her bounty from Dragon too (maybe Dragon was able to get intel from Garp in secret) or while going to Marijoa himself to attend a Shichibukai meeting or something IDK.

Maybe he learned about Pluton being in Alabasta before finding Robin by accident, and maybe they made a beeline for Alabasta the second Croc recruited Robin. Travelling takes time and the guy would've most likely had to find an Eternal Pose to Alabasta just to get there (also canonically Robin didn't enter the Grand Line until her 20s so they should've met in West Blue probably, since that's where Ohara was) Or maybe Crocodile had to haul Robin around for a few months while looking for That Missing Piece of Information that would lead him to Alabasta. (Imagine the two travelling from like island to island, library to library, Crocodile trying to find that leads while Robin's just so excited about ALL THESE BOOKS (she's helping too with the research) (but to her, research is playtime, so she's just having the time of her life) (Also, notice how Crocodile's Theoretical Child is a fucking loser ass nerd? Yeah Crocodile would encourage Robin reading and studying, surely. And that would be fucking cute))

But like, once they set sail to Alabasta...

Sure, Crocodile could try to do it The Slow Way that we know he tried in canon, building trust and creating his little empire etc. But also, in canon, Crocodile couldn't have jumped into action head first because without Robin, even if he had found the Poneglyph he couldn't have read it and found the location of Pluton. Crocodile choosing to do it the slow way may have been partially because he didn't have much of a choise and it could've felt like the smarter move long-term.

But in this scenario, he already has Robin. Yes, he could do it the slow, secure way.

But what'd be there stopping him from infiltrating Cobra's palace and kidnapping him (in the night, when nobody suspects a thing), demanding Cobra to spill the beans lest Crocodile kills him and/or his pregnant wife* (*Vivi was born 10 months after Luffy so depending on how long it's been between Crocodad leaving Luffy behind and this scenario... Yeah either the wife is there, still pregnant, or there's a newborn Baby Vivi)

Like it'd be a risky move but depending on how ballsy Croc's feeling and how confident he feels in being able to kidnap the king without being noticed... Yeah he could probably do it. And I'm sure he'd have no problem killing Cobra either, if anything it'd be required if he didn't want the Government to find out he was out to find Pluton, and god knows Cobra would tell on Crocodile if left alive. I could see Crocodad being maybe a little iffy about killing Baby Vivi though (it's not like the newborn baby could report him to the WG anyways), but if nothing else, he just needs to be able to pull off the bluff of his life to convince Cobra to do as he's told. And we all know Crocodile's good at convincing people.

The only question is, how would Robin take that?

Watching Crocodile go into Full Murder Mode, hearing him say he'd kill a pregnant woman/a newborn baby if he didn't get what he wanted? Like yeah, I'm sure 11 year old Robin would be fine with that, that wouldn't make any alarm bells go off in her head at all, it'd be fiiiine. IT WOULD NOT BE FINE, SHE'D BE SCARED SHITLESS. That fear of "what will he do with me when he gets what he wants"? Well, Robin may not have found the answer to that question in particular, but she certainly found the answer to the opposite question, and it's not good

So say Cobra, kidnapped (perhaps with Baby Vivi) by Crocodile in the night, guides the two to the Poneglyph under the tombs. Crocodile puts Cobra out of his misery because he's not needed anymore. And he asks Robin to read the Poneglyph for him.

Robin, who has spent the last little while, be it weeks or months with Crocodile, him having become her "guardian", the thing keeping her safe. Crocodile, who has now shown how cold blooded and cruel he can be. Robin, who might be scared out of her mind. Of him.

And the Poneglyph says Pluton, the thing Crocodile wants, isn't there. It's in Wano.

What's she going to do?

EDIT: I wrote a sequel post, enjoy

#Moon posting #OP Meta #Sir Crocodile #Crocodad #Nico Robin #THIS POST WAS AN ACCIDENT. I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED. WHY DID I WRITE THIS. WHAT DEMON POSSESSED ME #I'm sure someone's written this already right #Right #Surely this fanfic already exists #Please tell me it exists #I dunno what to tell you I am not immune to a Juicy AU #Anyway on a more wholesome side of things: Robin accidentally calling Crocodile ''dad'' and he just inhales and swallows his whole cigar #Nearly chockes to death. Gets burns on his throat. #Robin feeling less alienated because of her DF ability because Croc has seen weirder AND is made of sand himself #If anything if they're literally by themselves then Robin being able to literally lend a hand to Croc at any time could be extremely useful #Like. In regular life situations. 'Cause Croc only has one hand. And Robin as many as she wants. Perfect duo. #(Also if they were travelling on like a small ship then it'd probably be built for a Tall Motherfucker like Croc right) #(Robin's ability would just make the ship more accessible to her and Croc would find that independence good) #Robin still gets a codename because Croc can't have anyone realize who she is. Maybe she even wears like a mask or summin' in public #If Crocodile's openly trans and the news of him transitioning recently broke out. Like. No avoiding that convo eh #Baby Robin's like ''...I read in a book once that some reptiles can change sex but I didn't know crocodiles could do it too'' #''💦.../Humans/ can't do that normally either'' #''Hmmmm. Weird. I don't think being a girl would suit you though'' // ''...I'll take that as a compliment'' #I just. I think they could have really cute interactions if they warmed up to each other after a little while #And I'm Extremely Normal about that

[winnie-dump]

He taught him how to use a phone

...Now completely regrets it

#resident evil village #ethan winters #karl heisenberg #wintersberg #ethan winters x karl heisenberg #resident evil fanart #resident evil 8 fanart #resident evil 8 #re8 #re8 fanart #dunno if someone already did this lol #they're so silly #rebhfun #winnie art

[cepheusgalaxy]

Me, watching Castlevania Nocturne first episode: So, let's get something straight. This guy's not.

My brother: Stop saying everybody's gay

My dad in the kitchen, who's a huge Castlevania nerd and has already watch the series: No, no, she's right

#gay #talky tag #castlevania #castlevania nocturne #cn spoilers #castlevania netflix #castlevania spoilers #castlevania nocturne spoilers #cstlevania netflix spoilers #richter belmont #no its not him #i have a feeling that hes straight #and BOY THIS BUDDY IS SO FUCKED UP EMOTIONALLY I LOVE HIM #i love the animation and the art and THE DESIGNSSSSS #and my new lil whumpee :D #my dad asked me how i knew it ajdjskjshshsjkdk #and i just said 'dunno i just did xx #like #im not sure but i thinm it was his line “you mom took away someone important from me” :( #i was already theorizing he was gay by the first mins of his screen time #but that was when i just shouted #yep #gay.

[thunderc1an]

Common Clan lore:

There is an old tale (details forgotten due to its age), within the clans, which insinuates that the light of the sun dispels any form of ‘darkness’ (the personification of death and/or evil and/or evil spirits who were shunned from starclan). It is due to this reason that to the clans Leafbare is perceived as the worse season for survival. Daylight is cut short during Leafbare, hence the sunlight that feeds the forest (which in turn feeds the clan’s prey) and protects the clans from this supposed darkness is exponentially less.

The reasons above are used to explain why twolegs dens (and their trees) are glowing throughout the long nights of leafbare. It is understood that twolegs know of this darkness, and so to combat this, they have harvested strands of the sun to weave and adorn the outside of their dens.

It should be noted that for these clan cats the sun is the equivalent of silverpelt during the day. Silverpelt protects the clans from total darkness during the night while in turn the sun nourishes and provides to the clans during day light hours.

It is known that during leafbare there is a high rate of cats (from clans, or loners/rouges) that flee to twoleg dens to either become permanent kittypets or seek refuge (within twolegs’ yards). The brighter the twoleg den the safer it is.

Cats also understand that twolegs know when the end of leafbare is near. For there is one particular night within the dead of leafbare that symbolizes that newleaf will finally come. Some cats refer to this event as the ‘the longest night of spirits’ or ‘the coming of the sun’.

Although clan cats do not know of the exact date of this event it is still considered a celebration (and if the sun is giving during LeafFall then they will prepare in advance for this event: exchange of gifts- feathers, shiny stones, pretty snail shells, the claws of predators, the hides of rabbits, etc). The event is marked by the loud explosions of sounds and lights within the night sky. It is assumed that the strands of lights upon the twolegs’ dens break free and sprint to the sky before spreading their joy and beauty for all to see. The first explosion awakes the clan, and notifies them of the celebration. Generally after this event, it shall take (about, usually more) one more moon for leafbare to gradually come to an end and for the days to become longer.

#warriors #warrior cats #thunderclan #riverclan #windclan #shadowclan #skyclan #i saw a funny meme post about warriors scream at new years fireworks #and thought of a interesting twist to this concept #i dunno if someone already did this #but this was really fun to do #wrote it in my notes app and then horribly doodled the drawings #thats squirrel and leaf in the bottom drawing hehe

[yssahz]

#tadc #the amazing digital circus #my art #dunno if someone already did this edit but eh.. it was fun lol.

[shmorp-mcdurgen]

Figured i'd start actually. slowly reintroducing the new monster au turned oc project by first posting the new character names!

Mark -> Markus Adrianne Addams (Mark/Chris) Cesar -> Martin Garcia Sarah -> Amber Addams (Ace) Thatcher -> Jackson Hyde (Jack) Ruth -> Mabel Palmer Dave -> Barney Holmes Evelin -> Olivia Davis (Liv) Jonah -> Aaron Jones (AJ)

Another thing I wanted to introduce, this universe from now on will be referred to as Whispers of Willows!

#ramblings :) #Whispers of Willows #And uh. guess i'll. establish the character tags too. here we go #Shadow Mark #Mark Addams (WW) #(tagging both versions of his tag cause. yeag) #Martin Garcia (WW) #Amber Addams (WW) #Jackson Hyde (WW) #Mabel Palmer (WW) #Barney Holmes (WW) #Olivia Davis (WW) #AJ (WW) #Do i NEED to add the (WW) at the end of these tags? probably not but hey organization is neat #I dunno what to make the abbreviation considering. the options are taken. WOW means world of war craft and WW stands for wind waker so LIKE #but yeah. silly. #I already did like. a HUGE rehaul for the characters and storyline and honestly I think its an improvement. #I'll post the refs when i'm done with a good chunk of them! #also. in case you're wondering. we did lose someone. #Adam is NOT coming back in this. mainly due to 1. me wanting to make the adam stand ins for OTHER projects more unique #but also because. his storyline could be easily seen in MARKS storyline. #so putting Adam's story parts into Mark's storyline would be. better than just repeating it twice. #This effects Olivia's story of course but. i'll figure something out. #but yeah!! i'm happy with the progress made on this so far!!!!

[jalluzas-ferney]

I’m super confused because why does it say in the Ninjago wiki that It’s only been one year since the merge but in the series Nya says it’s been yearS . Years PLURAL. Plus Sora and Arin seem to have clearly aged up a lot cuz in the flashbacks Arins much shorter meaning he’s probably not even a teen and same goes for Sora. Like between their flashbacks of when the merge first happened they look pretty different. But for some reason they’re saying it’s been one year only? That makes no sense 😭

#PLEEAASSEE did anyone even ask about this at the comic con? #or maybe there wasn’t a qna #I dunno #BUT PLEAAASEE #I don’t have Twitter could someone do the fandoms favor of asking how long it’s been since the merge to the creators 😭 #I mean someone probably already did try but still 💀 #damn it why don’t they ever tell us stuff 😭 #first the ninjas age #now this 💔 #Ninjago #ninjago dragons rising #Lego Ninjago #Ninjago arin #Ninjago sora #ninjago theory #ninjago merge #the merge #arin #sora #dragons rising

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#sorry im thinking abt death again #because it's weird to think that ive been in the room. maybe a meter away from someone as they died #that someone being my mom. its just weird. the time in the hospital feels like it happened in some dark little pocket universe detached from #time. a calm room and then the soft blips of a monitor then the nurse rushing in to say she'd passed #i dont kno y ppl use that phrase: passed on. i mean i do. it softens the topic. makes it sound peaceful. ive yet to use it. i just say she #died bc thats what happened. is that insensitive? i dunno. when i was home i realized that i come off as much stranger than i think. the way #my family see me doesnt fit how i see myself. i dont kno what to do with that. i dunno. theyre all together today #for an early easter. and im halfway across the country again. nose so stuffy ive had to mouth breathe for the last 3 days #and again. everything feels the same as it did before but also profoundly different. sometimes i cry in the mornings. or when i think abt #future vacations she wont be there for. bc in the end she quickly slipped away in a way that couldn't be described as peaceful until her #last half a day. and all i can think about in that tiny room is how scary it would be to lose control like that #and how its not fair and she didnt deserve to die only halfway through a lifetime. but its not about fair and its not about deserving. #sometimes bad things just happen. that's life. and now i own a book called motherless daughters. and now im standing with the countless #others who've lost their moms too early. ive already become aware of 3 ppl in my daily life who are in the same club #i keep thinking about this moment that happened between my parents at the hospital. apparently my dad was helping her get cleaned up and her #stomach was so bloated she looked like she had a bby in there. which my dad said. and my mom apparently said: but it's a baby no one want. i #dont kno y that upsets me so much. all the things i heard abt her being in the hospital before i got there upset me. and the rest of my #family was there to see it. so i have the least traumatic version of the story. and i got almost 27 years with her. except my sisters #probably got more time with her bc i spent so much time away. or maybe not. i dunno. #i dunno. im just sad that shes gone and sad that it was drawn out even a little bit. 6 days isnt long but im sure it felt like an eternity. #again not fair. nothings fair. 53 years of unfairness culminating in a tragedy. she would hate me characterizing it like that. she lived a #full life as they say. full with an asterisk on account of length #unrelated

[lothanybloom]

Just found out that Bella Ramsey voices Hilda from Netflix. Now I just need someone to edit Ellie’s aggressive cursing into a clip of Hilda being Hilda

#the last of us #hilda the series #bella ramsey #ellie williams #hilda #hilda netflix #bella ramsey is so talented #dunno if someone already did it

[krikidilly]

Really enamored with the idea of Enmu getting into photography as both an artistry and simple fascination. Id think he'd get really fascinated by the art of like, altering photographs like making art out of them or getting that perfect shot that is art all on its own. He isn't one for mementos really but something about a picture really intrigues him. Odd fascination with the capturing of reality into something you can physically hold..

#that one doodle gotouge did of enmu holding a camera for kimegaku lives in my head as you can dee #something about someone so detached becoming fixated on something thats soooo..technical and solid?? #i dunno if i make sense but its just!! i like iy #i already hc that he enjoys a trinket . photos are just trinkets that are also art

[frozenhi-chews]

.

#i might have to focus elsewhere than self ship #meaning its like. a semi-haitus? #sort of? #dunno #but theres a lot of things going on and i need SO MUCH to get done and its S O F U H N #idk man #tuition costs so much #i did an oopsie and rent for a place I'm living off-campus costs a LOT #im so close to having my fafsa be done but need my parents to electronically sign something and they're already in bed #im tired #im almost done #someone give me so much money /hj #joking cuz its just. a joke. but i wouldn't deny it if i just so happened to get a crap ton of money #at least my job is like. super helpful #like i get SO MUCH MONEY from thay place #ough #vent #the cake doth speak

[doodlboy]

O yea, I forgot to show y'all what came in the mail today

#ena joel g #ena dream bbq #ena #irl #elliot rambles #the pin at the top is lenticular so ena moves when you turn your head and stuff #ive already put one of the stickers on my new sketchbook im gonna wait till i have more lil filler stickers b4 i use any more of these ones #bc they're really nice #i also got a really cute artist card that someone did of susie and noelle's date in deltarune ch.2 #fangamer is real nice for adding in lil gifts it always sparks joy when i get more stuff than what i ordered #like bonus christmas or smthn i dunno #anyway im real sleepy so i might pass out soon #xoxo gn mwah mwah

[somerabidraccoon]

#invader zim #iz #iz headcanons #irken headcanons #Dunno if someone already did this #but I'm curious #feel free to elaborate regardless on any of your picks!

[calamitydaze]

long tag ramble below u have been warned

#ok i feel like i should say Something before i start being active again #but i dont want it to be a Statement which is why i’m putting it in the tags #(also bc i procrastinated doing this for weeks so i know this is a very stale topic by now #but i also haven’t been on tumblr literally at all so this is 100% my organic authentic opinion lmao) #so read if you gaf and ignore if you don’t #anyway: george def could’ve done more to ensure she was comfortable #and as someone who has also gotten in over my head with older men and regretted it #her hurt is valid and i’m deeply sorry she feels the way she does about that night #but with that said i see no reason to believe george Should have known how she really felt #or that he deliberately took advantage of either her youth/inexperience or her discomfort #and that’s the most important thing for me— he fucked up and misread a situation but that doesn’t make him an evil person #and i hope they can both move on and grow and heal #as for my future in the fandom: i honestly dunno how active i’ll be going forward #i was already becoming pretty disconnected so this might’ve just sped up the process? i’m tired of being put through the wringer #but i also don’t really have a fandom to replace this so i might just continue casually participating in the way i have been #either way rest assured i will never become a rabid anti. that shits embarrassing #i got HORRIBLE drolo rsd the other day when tommy’s mom needed clout and vagued him so like if nothing else. droloisms are forever #also as a last thing— this feels kinda silly and self centered to say but i will anyway #sorry for not opening up my blog as a forum for discussion again the way i did with the drituation #i know i helped a lot of people sort out their feelings and that was (and is) really really important to me #but it also tanked my mental health (mostly as a result of the fallout and not the act itself but still) #plus my life irl was pretty stressful at the time when everything was first going down #so i just didn’t feel up to putting myself through that again #but i’m sorry if anyone wanted to discuss w me but wasn’t able to #anyway. i think that’s all i have to say! #i don’t want to turn this into a capital D discussion but as always my askbox and dms are open #love you all tons! i hope you’re having a good day 🫂🫶 #bella talks

[nostalgia-tblr]

I had another fic idea and the brain was like "no, that's too fluffy and romantic and YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO WRITE NICE THINGS, PEOPLE WOULD JUDGE YOU" but then I went "but what if it was kind of... comedy fluff?" and brain went "...yeah, okay, if you really must." Which I fucking HATE! Why can't I write nice things, brain?! Everyone else is allowed to! FFS, it's fanfiction, it doesn't have to be ~deep~ or any of that shit!

This has actually been a bit of an issue when I'm trying to write The WIP because while I told myself yeah sure go ahead and write the massively self-indulgent epically long (by my own odd standards) fic but still sometimes I get stuck because I'm not "allowed" to write something that appeals to me and my own sometimes niche interests??

Like angst I can do because that's "proper" somehow? WTF is that about? It's not proper! It's still daft! And comedy I'm allowed because I dunno apparently if it will make someone laugh that means it has "value"? It's very annoying, I don't like it.

Do other people have this? How do you deal with it? You'd think after all this time I'd be okay with writing any old shit that I want to. If anything it might be worse now. I remember years ago I could tell myself "Look, if you've spelled most of it correctly then it's already in like the better half of all the fanfic on the internet" which isn't really TRUE but I could go along with that and let myself write whatever-the-fuck I wanted to.

You know how many of us go "I'll write this fucked up thing... but I'll post it as Anon"? I get that with fluffy fic ideas as well. Or with things that are "too shippy" (WTF?) It's just such a stupid and weird form of self-criticism and it bothers me a lot.

#ranting at myself #writing stuff #possibly this is a mental illness thing but i don't think it is but it might be? #i am Quite Mad but it usually manifests related to fic as the usual “you suck!!” or irritating OCD things about wordcounts or such #this is a VERY SPECIFIC thing and i don't even know where it came from? #maybe i'm just pretentious? do i look pretentious? i might be? #(the fluffy thing was sylki fic where spinning off on the 'oh no unable to express feelings!' they have to pass each other notes) #(the comedy element was that this is Bloody Stupid and also Mobius attempts to Help (oh no) and etc) #(will i ever be able/“allowed” to actually write that thing? dunno!) #the Frigga thing also suffers from “that bit is despicably adorable you should be ASHAMED of yourself” #.The WIP? currently stuck at “okay now he needs to Hold The Baby. this is an important bit you can't skip it. but babies are Too Twee” #“so you may NOT just write someone Holding The Baby because that's like something people might actually want to read!” #“the murders are fine you can write murders. murder isn't twee. babies are VERY twee though.” #PROBLEM: there are several babies in this fic and the next chapter is like... ENTIRELY baby-based #(the end of the entire fic is already written and it's Too Twee as well but i've kind of gone immune to that because it's existed a while) #(oh no did i just spoiler a Happy Ending?!) #(SPOILER: kind of. it depends who you backed in this race and whether you wanted them to Become Better People) #anyway am gonna post this now before i change my mind as i probably should #fic related

[bread-of-death]

Oh my god I might get to take my friend on a date EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK

#that’s a good eek lol #I won’t even really have romantic feelings towards her lol #and as far as I’m aware she feels the same way towards me #but we joke about having sex/going on a date a lot #and she was like ‘I’m free Sunday’ and I went 👀 #she also posts a lot on Snapchat complaining about people just wanting her for sex/not treating her well #& also posts TikTok’s of guys giving their girlfriends princess treatment and captioning it with stuff like ‘need someone like this fr’ #so like— I dunno- it’s a little silly- but I kinda wanna do that for her I dunno #I’m kinda already planning some things out 👉👈 #and like I said!!! I don’t even have romantic feelings for her (have literally talked to her about a crush I have lol) #but I dunno- I guess I just wanna show her that it’s not impossible to find someone who *will* do those things and *will* treat her the way- #-she wants & deserves to be treated #I think mostly I want her to know she doesn’t need to lower her standards- *shouldn’t* lower her standards #just because a few shitty people refuse to meet them #(the reason I’m so deadset on doing this might have something to do with me lowering my already very low standards for people who absolutel- #-absolutely did not deserve it in the past) #like honestly some of the stuff was as simple as getting her flowers/opening the car door for her #easy shit. (obv I’m doing more than that lol) #but you get the idea