And the voices in my head are just like
„die die die“
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Auf einmal ist der Wunsch zu sterben wieder präsent
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having these emotions all bottled up cause i don’t want to show you how it hurts and how badly i just want to be gone.i want to disappear and never be found i want no trace of myself nothing left of me no pictures no paperwork i just want to leave
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There are days when you just get so sad and it f*cking consumes your day. I'm just literally browsing in my social media and got teary eyed. And now I'm thinking why I'm sad, and my bad memories and bad decisions comes flashing back. All I want now is to curl up in my bed and stare at nothingness. Still stuck in a blackhole that I thought I got out finally.
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i just want to scream to the top of my lungs, but i don’t wanna be loud.
so i bottle it up, until i drowns me.
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I love how my life is literally a try not to cry challenge
I guess I’m getting pretty good at that now, not showing emotion when my entire world is falling apart around me
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“I want to write rage but all that comes is sadness. We have been sad long enough to make this earth either weep or grow fertile. I am an anachronism, a sport, like the bee that was never meant to fly. Science said so. I am not supposed to exist. I carry death around in my body like a condemnation. But I do live. The bee flies. There must be some way to integrate death into living, neither ignoring it nor giving in to it.”
— Audre Lorde, The Cancer Journals
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