41 notes
·
View notes
Coming from a dysfunctional family into a secure family is wild business, honestly.
11 notes
·
View notes
As a child I was told I was mature and applauded for my reading level and how responsible I was. Always trying to be the perfect child, reading people's faces to change what I am to make them happy. I thought that I had to make them happy or I would break. I guess I was the golden child on my siblings eyes. They always thought that I had the perfect grades, that I never messed up or made mistakes, that I was a favorite. But that's because that's what I projected. I cannot remember a time where I was myself, a time where I could make mistakes and cry. Because I saw what happened to others when they did, so I learned how to not cause trouble. Not be the sad one or loud one. My eldest brother was always sensitive, always emotional. I saw my family talk about him, my parents gave him more attention while my other oldest brother and I stood back and watched because we were the steady ones. I saw how my mom hurt for my brother and vice versa. So I learned to cry quietly, how to hide my tears and not shout in pain. Being the only girl for a long time no one would play with me or pay attention beyond what caring or happiness I could give them. So I read. I escaped into words. If I stayed busy and focused on other things than I wouldn't have to deal with things. I never got to have a childhood, or make mistakes and memories as I was always too terrified of my parents disappointment and being talked about in hushed voices. Of falling off my pedestal. By time I was 6 I had a younger brother who I babied, setting a precedent that I wish I hadn't. At 12 my parents were fighting, and I had a new sisters. Finally. I raised her. My parents were too busy with bills and money and emotions so I tried. I used to have to babysit every day. I couldn't go out and hang with friends, I became known for being flaky and busy. I lost friends. I became my mother's therapist. I became my father's as well. I lost myself somewhere between then. I guess this whole ramble is about how frustrating it is that my brothers think that I am the golden child. When I was always jealous about their freedom. Now at 21 and still at home I feel empty. I used to care so much and do a lot. Now I barely have enough energy to care about anything and go with the flow. Nothing sticks or is permanent.
9 notes
·
View notes
Am I obsessed with the fics where rhaenyra has a good relationship with her siblings because I think is an interesting scenario or because I like to think if there's an alternative universe where they of all the people have a good relationship also exists one where I have a good one with my family?
17 notes
·
View notes
Chapters: 22/?
Fandom: Helluva Boss (Web Series)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Relationships: Blitzo/Stolas Goetia/Striker, Octavia Goetia/Original Female Character(s), Millie/Moxxie (Helluva Boss)
Characters: Stolas Goetia, Stella Goetia, Octavia Goetia, Millie (Helluva Boss), Moxxie (Helluva Boss), Hellhound OC - Character, Original Female Character(s), Blitzo (Helluva Boss), Robo Fizz (Helluva Boss), Striker (Helluva Boss), Loona (Helluva Boss), Wally Wackford
Additional Tags: Humor, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Backstory, Family, Dysfunctional Family, Fluff, eventual Octavia Goetia/OC, Friends to Lovers, Class Differences, Minor Character Death
Summary:
Storm is the Hellhound of Octavia Goetia, this collection of oneshots explores how the pairs relationship changes as it deepens and love forms in the midst of hate, confusion, change and adversity.
2 notes
·
View notes
I hate having to regulate my parents emotions
1 note
·
View note
Can't get a call outta the blue to just say, "Hey, How are you doing? What's going on in your life? Wanna grab some coffee and we can catch up?"
I never get that type. It's more like, "We need you to do this. We need you to do that." I'm 49 & get treated like Frado from The Godfather. Don't get invited to a family function unless I have to do something for someone.
0 notes
watching a movie isn't enough i need it to possess my soul and feed on my body
83 notes
·
View notes
26 notes
·
View notes
Saint Paddy's day Party
Nero: Why not just use food coloring for the beer?
Dante: Uh. Cause Beer's not a food. When was the last time you ate a beer?
Nero: When was the last time you drank paint?
Dante, stays quiet:
Nero: Have you been drinking paint?
Dante:..No.
Nero: Let me see your tongue.
Dante:*slowly shows green tongue*
Nero: OH MY GOD!
27 notes
·
View notes
oh i have to concede something to rejet.. shin and carla have such a good fucked up sibling dynamic … little brother who desires the affection of the older brother he idolises becomes permanently disillusioned by him and believes hes been betrayed
ohhh fucked up siblings
3 notes
·
View notes
I'm moving soon. I also had a week off from work which never happens due to my best friends bachelorette party that I didn't end up being able to attend. My mom said she wanted to do something just us two since I will be gone soon. I agreed because for all the bad, I do love her and will miss her. But I'm a little sad since the week has passed and we've done nothing. Either she isn't feeling well, or too busy with cleaning and the other siblings. Instead I've just been playing therapist all week. And everyone is acting like nothing is happening so I have no help on moving or buying dorm stuff for the first time. I love her, and she has many issues so I understand but that doesn't mean at times I don't feel ignored or put off to the side for obsessive cleaning or my siblings. Sorry, just had to rant.
4 notes
·
View notes
Song of Orpheus (1991) colorized
20 notes
·
View notes
thinking abt the song evelyn evelyn to my twin ocs 😌😔😔
30 notes
·
View notes