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wanduhhh · 2 years

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Ease My Mind 18+ chapter 2: Where Are You Tonight?

Tw: (Talks of anxiety, suggestive writing, teensy tiny bit smutty, Wanda wearing a dress)

thanks to sweet baby @goodebyee for proofreading for me x (and being cute enough to force me to update)

https://wanduhhh.tumblr.com/post/692143479697047552/ease-my-mind-18

enjoy gays

The months seemed to fly in and Wanda had quickly become a staple in your life. You began to feel like a better version of yourself, no longer avoiding situations you normally would. Your therapy sessions with her pushing you to be better; but you could admit that it was not just with your own benefit in mind.

Wanda had cleared a path in your life for herself, and you didn’t care to see the rubble it could leave behind.

You were well aware that you had begun to develop an unhealthy reliance on your therapist, a statement that most people met with “who doesn’t” and a laugh. But this was beyond a laughing matter. She was on your mind constantly.

You hadn’t bought a box of pop tarts since that night in the supermarket, thinking of her reprimanding tone anytime you so much as looked at a box of frosted strawberry.

You had seen yourself going to the gym more than ever before, making sure you were eating at least 2 proper meals a day. All good things- all good for your body.

Your mind however, was powered by Wanda. Thoughts of how proud she would be the next time you spoke to her when you told her about your gym sessions. How she would smile at you when she asked if you had been eating properly and you could confidently tell her yes.

You were taking care of yourself not for yourself, but for the approval of the woman you were infatuated with.

One particular session you had been telling Wanda about how creative you had started to feel again. Speaking animatedly to her about how you had filled sketchbooks that had gathered dust, perfected drawings that now sat on aged paper. She had smiled so big, her eyes sparkling as she called you a ‘good girl’. It had swirled round your brain endlessly ever since.

Thinking back to the words dripping like honey from Wanda’s plump lips, almost daily. Whispering them to yourself as you desperately chased a high you couldn’t reach with your own fingers in the dark of night.

Wanda had recently given you homework. It was to leave the house at the weekend and do something that would make you feel good. No specifications, just that it had to make you feel good and you would be discussing it at the next session.

You thought about going with an easy option, going to a park and sketching or just getting sushi from your favourite restaurant. But you had being doing so good lately that you wanted to push yourself, rather than do something; you decided you would do someone.

You got dressed and had a quick shot to calm your nerves before heading out to a local bar. You had been in a gay bar once before, but something about this night told you that it would be different. Just stepping over the threshold had your fingers tingling with nerves.

You grabbed a seat at the bar and instead of lowering your eyes to your phone screen whilst you drank, you allowed yourself to simply relax and take in your surroundings. Allowing yourself for the first time in your life to truly people watch. Though your first hour or 2 saw lots of attractive women enter the bar, you found they all had one big thing in common. They weren’t Wanda.

You tried to shake the thought from your mind, slamming down shots and shaking the nerves out of your hands before you got up to dance. Swaying to the music with your eyes closed felt nice, and you began to think this was the part you would tell Wanda about on Tuesday. How weightless you felt in that moment and how it felt to feel careless.

Then a pair of arms wound their way around your waist, and you thought maybe you could think of something else that would make you feel good.

You let yourself fall further back into this mystery person, grinding against each other til there was no space between the two of you. And you still hadn’t even seen their face yet.

When you did eventually turn round you were pleasantly surprised. This woman had big brown eyes, soft brown hair that she encouraged you to run your fingers through. When she pressed her lips against yours they were soft. It was nice. You believed in that moment that this could work, this distraction could take your mind away from what you couldn’t have; and focus it on what you could have.

This feeling was abruptly wiped away when she led you into a bathroom cubicle. Roughly pressing you against the wall, she pushed her knee between your open thighs. As she sucked marks down your throat you moaned lightly, trying to live in the moment. Trying your best to not think of green eyes and red hair grasped between your fingers.

However, when her fingers found their way up past your dress and down the front of your panties; something snapped. All of a sudden it was suffocating. You thought back to the cold touch of your soon to be ex-husband, of how he would take his stress out on you when he got home from work. And it pulled you from the moment immediately.

You ripped her hand from your thighs and choked out a sorry before running as fast as your feet could take you. Finding solace in an alley behind the bar where there was no one else around. You sunk to the ground and the only upside of your hyperventilating was that it took the focus off of how you scraped the backs of your legs as you slipped down.

Your vision felt blurry and you couldn’t pull in a full breath, as you desperately tried to rake your mind for breathing exercises Wanda had showed you, your mind could only stick on the woman. You whimpered her name to yourself over and over as your fingers clumsily scrambled for your phone.

Frantically calling her office over and over you were too desperate to think of how it was past her working hours. After 4 attempts, you hunted for her email. The ominous ‘please help me Wanda, I need you’ was something sober you would most definitely regret, but you felt like you wouldn’t be able to breathe without her.

You received a reply almost immediately, with no words; just a mobile number. You rang it immediately and whimpered Wanda’s name to yourself over and over until she picked up.

“Y/n, what’s going on? Where are you?” Just hearing her voice allowed you to drag in a ragged breath. “Wanda I’m I- I can’t I’m” the stuttered words made you drag your nails up your thighs in frustration at yourself, wondering why it was so hard to simply speak.

“Just tell me where you are okay detka, and I’ll be right there” her calm voice soothed your mind allowing you to give her an address and your breath was almost back when she assured you she would be there in less than 10. If you were sober or calm enough, you would have honed in on the term of endearment she had let slip, but luckily for Wanda you were neither.

She arrived after 7 minutes, you know because you counted each second. It helped some to steady your breathing, but not as helpful as watching her walk towards you and crouch down to meet your eyes. You couldn’t help but let your eyes flicker to what she was wearing, soft pink dress that bunched up at the top of her thighs as she crouched over. A slip of her white lacy panties showing just slightly, your eyes met again when she coughed to get your attention.

“What happened y/n? Did someone hurt you?” She stared down at your scratched thighs with a deep frown, looking like she was about to go back in the club and find who had left you in this state. “No no Wanda, no one hurt me. I’m just. Fuck I’m sorry Wanda”.

The redheads heart ached to see you looking so broken, more so that you still focused on apologising. She knew this was beyond her duties as your therapist, and was most definitely crossing several lines but she couldn’t bring herself to leave you there.

“Shh shh honey, it’s okay. Come with me” she led you by your upper arms, your face turned into her chest as sobs racked your body. You were placed in a car, seatbelt fastened securely around your waist. Wanda drove beside you, eyes anxiously shifting between the road and you every minute. She had put on the radio and told you to hum along with her in order to steady your breathing. She said it worked a treat when she no longer heard you panting, but you knew it was just because the sound of her voice had calmed you.

She pulled up outside an apartment and wordlessly led you in the door by your hand. When she sat you down on a soft sofa and handed you a glass of water it dawned on you that this was her apartment. Dr. Maximoff had led you to her apartment.

You were lost in the absurdity of the situation, trying to think of what to say to the woman to convey how sorry you were for ruining her night. But instead all that came out was “you look really pretty tonight, were you going somewhere nice”.

She smiled as she lowered herself to perch on the coffee table in front of you, meeting your eyes before she answered. “Just for a drink with a friend, but it’s okay. I’m glad I came to get you when I did”. The words ‘a friend’ circled round your head, imagining that the woman had been on her way to a date that you had ruined with your dramatics.

You didn’t realise how deep in thought you were, too busy mentally cursing yourself to try and mask it on your face. “Stop it y/n” Wanda was using her professional tone, “stop thinking you’re a burden. You didn’t ruin my night if that’s what you’re thinking so hard about” mind reader “I’m a big girl and I chose to come help you, and I’m glad I did”.

This only made your heart clench further, thinking about how selfless this woman sitting across from you was. How genuinely concerned with your well-being she seemed. It only made you crave her more.

“Thank you for doing this Wanda. I really appreciate you looking after me, even when you aren’t being paid to” you blushed, not able to meet her eyes, finding the rug much more interesting. “Hmm I still have time to charge you y/n” she let out a giggle as she spoke and your cheeks hurt from smiling back at her.

You almost told her you could think of a few ways to repay her kindness- but luckily your conscience held you back.

“So this is your place huh? Never thought I’d be sat on your actual sofa” you nervously scratched at your palms as you spoke. “Uh yeah it is. Not very appropriate I know, but I remembered you had mentioned you were living with your mom at the moment. I know how strained that is already and I just thought this was the best option in the moment”.

Her rambling made you breathe a sigh of relief, knowing you were both in the same boat of awkwardness. Not knowing where to go from here, you were sure you’d stay glued in that very position on that couch for all of time.

Wanda decided for both of you. “Okay let me show you to the guest room, I’ll give you something to sleep in”. It seemed obvious until now that this was how the night would go, especially with Wanda bringing you to her apartment so late. But now imagining yourself sleeping a wall apart, wearing her clothes- you were frozen to your spot.

“Oh Wanda, I have already been enough of a bother. I’ll just order an Uber and head home” her disapproving gaze stopped you in your tracks. “Absolutely not, you’ll sleep here and I’ll drive you back in the morning come on” standing and leading the way. She turned suddenly and you stumbled behind her, trying not to walk directly into her. Brushing some of your hair away from your eyes she smiled softly as she spoke, “and you’re never a bother”. People had died of spontaneous combustion before, and you were sure you’d be another statistic then and there.

But alas, Wanda continued on to the bedroom and you miraculously managed to follow her.

The room was sweet and you had a hard time believing Wanda hadn’t been expecting company with the way the duvet was folded over. It looked so warm and welcoming. You felt your feet walking you over without a second thought, sitting on it and bouncing up and down lightly. Caught in your own moment, you were only snapped out of it when you heard Wanda chuckle.

Looking over to the door you saw her perched against it, dress riding up her thighs again and a light smirk on her face as she watched you indulge yourself. Your eyes once against glued themselves to her soft thighs. Wanting more than anything to pull the dress higher up and kiss your way up, just knowing she would make soft little whines as you did.

Your eyes darkened as you watched the way she bit her lips, shifting on her feet as her dress moved further up. If there had been one more minute of tension you knew you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself from marching over to her and pressing her against the wall.

But her voice redirected your eyes to her own, “I’ll uh- go and get you something comfortable to wear”. And then she was gone. You dragged in a much needed breath and waited til she returned.

When she did your breathing was halted once more. Instead of the sinful dress she had been wearing she had changed into a much shorter pair of pyjama shorts. You couldn’t even bear to look at the matching strappy top- you knew your limits.

She came over to sit next to you on the bed, dipping slightly; shoulders bumping gently. A soft sweater was placed on your lap, and just from the movement of it passing you, you knew it smelled completely of the redhead. You couldn’t wait to burrow inside it.

“This was the cosiest thing I could find, it should be long enough on you to be comfortable” she stroked the fabric of the sweater that covered your lap as she spoke. “Thank you Wanda, for everything I mean. But also for the sweater that I will definitely give back”. She laughed gently and you headed for the bathroom to get changed.

When you walked back to the room it was Wanda’s turn to lose her breath. The sight of you drowning in her sweater left her speechless. The sleeves trailing over your wrists, held up slightly but your fingertips. And the way it rested mid thigh, leaving your legs bare. She didn’t trust herself to open her mouth. Lines were blending, if she was honest with herself she knew the second she responded to your email on a Friday night that the professional thing to do would be refer you to another therapist.

For the first time in her career Wanda felt herself yearning for something more than climbing up the ladder. She knew the progress you had made with her was unmatched, but that didn’t help with how conflicted she was feeling. You were her patient, and she could confidently say in her office she had been nothing but professional with you. How she felt however, was another story.

So many nights had seen her laying awake wondering what you were doing, if you were okay. Followed shortly after with complete guilt that she was thinking of a patient in this way. Still there was no denying it when she let her eyes rest on you that bit longer. Laughed at your jokes just a little too long, and constantly found herself stopping just short of giving you physical reassurance.

None of which was helped when she watched you walk back over to perch beside her once again. Bare thighs touching.

You were sitting so close together that a strand of Wanda’s hair moved each time you took a breath. If she turned her face closer to you she knew your noses would just brush against each other. The thought made her want to ruin you.

Chancing everything she had worked for she turned to meet your eyes, it seemed luck was either on her side or completely fucking with her; as you had the exact same idea.

Your lips brushed against hers so lightly you wouldn’t have felt it, had you not been hyper aware of her proximity. Wanda’s breath hitched at the light touch and before she could snap herself out of the moment you pushed forward. Lips finally pressing together. Cautiously at first, Wanda kept her eyes on yours for a second, too scared to give in. But when your tongue asked for entry she closed her eyes and gave in. Pushing her hands into your hair and dragging you closer still.

The kiss was making you so lightheaded that you felt Wanda’s hands were the only thing keeping you from floating away. When the need for air arose you pushed her soft red hair behind her ears, brushing your thumbs over the apples of her cheeks lightly before trailing your kisses down to under her ear.

Her nails dug sharply into the back of your neck as she pulled you closer, tilting her neck to give you more access. The little breathy moans you just knew she would make floated up to your ears, and you moaned back simply at the sound.

You sucked light marks all the way down to her collarbone and she pushed you back. Crawling on top of you, the smell of peaches invading your senses as her hair fell around you like a curtain. When one of her thighs slipped between your own you sucked in a breath through your teeth. So responsive to anything she was willing to give you.

Just as you began to grind down onto her thigh and Wanda felt how wet you were through your panties, it was like a bucket of cold water had been thrown over her. She pushed herself up quickly, backing away to put space between her and your soft lips and tousled hair.

“Y/n we, we can’t this isn’t. Um this can’t happen. I’m your therapist, I don’t want to undo everything we have achieved so far” you stood to comfort the frazzled woman. But as you took a step forward she took a step back. “Wanda please it’s not going to change that, you can’t just pretend to feel nothing for me”.

Wanda pressed her fingers to her lips as you spoke, wanting to wipe the kisses away but keep them there all at once. “No I could lose my job, this can’t happen. I’m really sorry I completely stepped over the line tonight. Just, try rest and we can uh- we’ll speak about this tomorrow”. She left before you could protest.

You lay awake the entire night, a wall apart. Whilst racked with guilt over what had just happened, Wanda still did not clean your wetness from her thigh. And if asked if she had stroked it with one hand whilst pushing two fingers into herself with the other, she would deny it.

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