Something about Neverafter and consumption, devouring as an act of survival, defiance, fear. Stepmother faced with the unbearable horror of her existence, ripping her teeth through every might-have-been and was-not and gorging herself on the endless, infinite glut of every story that forever binds her, a cosmic ouroborous. The Baron of Bricks, who lived once and then ate, ate of industry and steel and arms and bricks, ate of Death itself, so that all that he fears, all that once made him feel small and inferior, he takes into himself and tells himself that now he lives, now he is stronger for it. Candlewick, trapped in the nightmare of twisted childhood, turned to cannibalizing children just as the island has always done in its own way of sticky-sweet forbidden promise. La Bête, taking apart every sinew and joint of her captor and this is no banquet but it is more than sustenance, it is victory, of a kind, to take what imprisons you and eat of it, to take its power over you unto yourself so that it cannot hurt you again.
(What they don’t tell you is that it doesn’t stop hurting in the first place)
((If consuming your misfortunes and devouring your prison is supposed to be a victory, the proof that you have taken the power over you and made it part of yourself, why have you never felt more cornered, more afraid, more desperate, more trapped?))
And then Ylfa. An offer, by one who has eaten, will eat, will be eaten. She takes what seems to have torn her life asunder, wolfed it down as it wolfed her Grandmother down, becomes the very thing that made her who she was, and lives. Except. Except there was an offer. There was an offer and a choice, and maybe it was not the eating but the choice, willingly given, and a decision, willingly made.
Eating, not as an act of survival but as an act of life. Not gnawing away at the bones of your monsters until they can no longer hurt you, until you have proven your utter victory over the dust of their marrow, but digging into a proffered feast that may or may not have been meant for you but is nonetheless given to you so that you might eat and live. Living not to consume, not to take what you please because it is there and you can and you need to or perhaps you just fear you will be the one devoured otherwise, but consuming as a part of life, taking your fill of what you need, of what is given to you for that very purpose, so that you may find yourself in the act. Not just eating, but eating well.
All things are consumed in the end. I love you. I want us both to eat well.
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The problem I personally have with food is that it just tastes too damn good.
So I'll be sitting there, eating, and then my stomach is like, "Okay, we're good, I'm full now."
But the food tastes really fucking good so my taste buds are like, "Noooo, just one more bite, and then another, and another, and—"
And then before you know it I am overstuffed and my stomach is in pain and crying and my tastebuds are just like "sounds like a you problem" and this repeats eternally because I'm a dumb-dumb who struggles to say no to the siren song of "one more bite" of tasty tasty food.
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Comic 3
(Two separate instances)
We are a relatively small system but I think that makes it funnier that we apparently need two caretakers
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CW for discussions of eating and appetite and the such
Hey so is it not normal to feel absolutely zero urge to eat even when incredibly painfully hungry. Like when I'm even a little sleepy I must fight every urge not to sleep. But when I feel hungry I also...don't feel hungry. Like sure, my stomach hurts from being hungry, or I start to get shaky or have heart palpitations if it's been too long. But I feel absolutely no urge. The only time pain from hunger gets me to eat is shaky/palpitations because it makes it hard to function.
Like, I don't...think it's a mental aversion to food? I literally love food. I've been struggling for years to gain weight, incapable of it because getting myself to eat food is such a chore that I only have the motivation to eat regularly for like a week or two, and then I stop trying to and immediately lose weight. Like, if I'm not actively tracking to make sure I eat meals and snacks, I lose weight. Even if I do eat well, I sometimes lose it anyways! I want to gain weight and I want to feel the need to eat so badly.
But part of the issue is that even when I do eat, I can usually only eat a few bites before feeling incredibly nauseated. Or I feel "full" somewhat even though I'm not and I'm still hungry. But if I try to eat, swallowing makes me gag. And I don't know why!!!!
I'm just. Starting to think/realize that hmmmm this. Might not be normal. I don't understand what could be wrong though. Researching it has helped zero. Is it a depression thing?? Like, part of why I don't eat is because making and getting food is so exhausting I usually sleep right after. Is it an ADHD thing with executive dysfunction???
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sometimes i'm like "wow food is what connects us sharing a meal with my friends is a love language" and other days i'm like *looking at body* "you mean this thing is hungry aGAIN??"
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MONDO EATING A BAGEL ?
art block is stealing my lunch money sorry these are taking forever- </3
(also btw HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAYDEN PSPSPPS ILY @weeweeboy <333333 GO SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THEM)
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