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#eating disoder thoughts

i’m going to fast for maybe ten days. i haven’t been doing it lately so it will be hard but i kinda want to suffer :)

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Today my psychologist asked me how I would feel and what I would do if one day I woke up really happy. I had no idea what to say to her. At this point, I thought how long I was not happy and that if a miracle happened and I woke up happy I would have no idea what to do with myself.

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it’s moments like when my bf pulls on the extra room on my waistband and says “no way you’ve got that small since we’ve been together” 😌

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“You don’t know pain until you’re starting at yourself in the mirror with tears streaming down your face and you’re begging yourself to just hold on and be strong”

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✨Why I want to be skinny✨

  • Pretty clothes
  • Collarbones
  • Thin wais
  • Slender arms
  • Long fingers
  • Pretty legs
  • I’ll be able to wear skirts and dresses without feeling like a joke
  • I’ll be able to wear this big boots without my fat calves ruining this pretty shoes…
  • Fishnets-tights 💕
  • Smaller boobs and less neck and shoulder pain.
  • Wearing cute underwear workout feeling disgusted by myself
  • My Boyfriend will love me more because he’ll be so proud of me.
  • I’ll be able to control myself around food
  • I’ll be healthy
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I keep going away but I don’t really have much of a reason. I guess I don’t really feel like I belong here. I’m old. (27). I have kids. I’m still fat (162 as of today). Everyone here is still young and y'alls journey’s are so much further than mine is. It’s frustrating. Sometimes I don’t feel like I can make it. I don’t know what to do most days. I feel so alone.

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tw // ed vent

I’m so tired of this. I’m so tired of not having breakfast and saying no to food I used to love and not being able to take a day off. I’m tired of it consuming everything in my life, I’m tired of every thought I have be about food. I’m tired of the panic. and the rituals. and the rules. I’m tired because I dont have any energy anymore. and this disorder is hurting the person i love the most, and I cant deal with that. I dont know how to deal with that. I dont know how to stop or If I want to stop or if I can or if it’s even possible because the possibility of this lasting for the rest of my life is suffocating and overwhelming and I don’t know what the fuck to do.

fuck man.

what the fuck do I do at this point.

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Low calorie big meal!!

Okay so y'all… :)

I made a recipie that I’m gonna try later and it’s pretty low calorie for a huge meal 🥴

I only eat one meal a day so have a big meal is key for me, and bitch this is i t

If you want something a little more light weight then cut some of the ingredients in half for a quick and easy lunch 😌💅💕

Buffalo Feta Chicken Salad

  • 6 oz. chicken breast (281)
  • Mcdonalds Buffalo Sauce Packet (70 for two)
  • Siracha (5 cal)
  • Feta (35 half serving)
  • Spinach/other leafy greens (around 10)
  1. Heat up pan on medium heat, pour tablespoon of water or low cal spray (not zero cal so be careful). Cut up chicken into small bite sized pieces.
  2. Cook chicken until well done.
  3. Pour in your sauces and cook for another minute or two or until sauce is hot.
  4. Serve on spinach and top off with a little bit of feta

And that’s literally it bitches. I’ll make a follow up post about how it tasted and what it looked like later 😌💅

Although this number might be scary, the total for this big meal is 401, but it’s the only thing I eat all day lol.

If you want a lighter version, try 3 oz chicken, and only 1 tub of mcdonalds buffalo sauce, or hell, make your own low calorie version! I just like that sauce because it’s really creamy and tastes so good :)

In total, calories go between 272-401 for a filling meal! Pair with your favorite low cal drink and you’re set :)

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Po pierwszym dniu nie czuje się totalnie głodna, co jest dziwne bo zazwyczaj jak mam chociaż 200 kcal dziennie to czuje się mega głodna.


Rano: waga 53.4kg, w pasie: 61cm, w udach 46cm

Zrobiłam ćwiczenia na nogi i ogólnie trening wzmacniający.

Wieczór: waga 53, w pasie: 60cm, w udach 46cm

Same ćwiczenia na nogi i 50 brzuszków

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My friend said that she didn’t ate anything since yesterday…

Is this f❤️cking challenge to see how long I can starve or what?

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My parents always say i wont be able to do anything in my life well jokes on you i just reached a new low 😩✋

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It’s hard, while restricting and everything, sometimes our toughts are like “Maybe i have an ed, nah i don’t”, and it’s weird because from one side we want it and from another we don’t want to accept having it. And sometimes i want to be like everybody else, eating normally, but more than this i want to be skinny.

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˜”*°•.˜”*°• Safe Foods Menu •°*”˜.•°*”˜

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥

Low calorie Reddi Wip (non dairy, whipped topping for coffee) 10 cals

Coco Lace Chocolate Flavored Desert 30 cals

Skinny Pasta 20 cals

Pop chips (potato usually) 100 cals

Calorie Clever Fettucine Style 10 cals

Walkers French Fries (Salt & Vinegar) Per pack: 82 cals

Kallø Blueberry Vannila Rice Cakes 35 cals

Shiitake Noodles Per pack: 12 cals

Powdered PB 2 Tbsp: 46 cals

Kimchi Per can: 60 cals

Miso Soup 19 cals

Silken Tofu Half-pack: 100 cals

M&S Soy, Ginger, & Chilli (quinoa waves) Per pack: 91 cals

Nim’s Beetroot and pasnip vegetable crisps Per pack: 70 cals

Skinny PopPopcorn (of course) Per cup: 39 cals

ThinSlim foods Cloud cakes 20 cals

Stretch Island Fruit Company Apricot Fruit Strip 45 cals

Pacific Foods Free Range Chicken Broth 25 cals

Fuji Apple Friit Crisps (Brothers All Natural) 40 cals

Arctic Seeo Vanilla Maple (Ice Cream) Per pint: 150 cals

Bakery Vanilla Chai Crunchy Cookie Bites Per cookie: 26 cals

Annie’s Cinnamon Bunny Graham’s Per 11 pieces: 49 cals

Suzie’s Whole Grain Thin Cakes Corn, Quinoa, & Sesame Per 3 cakes: 38 cals

Jello Strawberry Sugar Free 10 cals

DM/ comment your safe foods and I’ll add them to the list (and give you credit)

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