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romanoffsbish · 6 months

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The Tournament

Natasha Romanoff x F!R

Natasha was never one to shy away from a challenge, and your body paid the ultimate price. | WC: 1,254

Natasha was exhausted.

It had been ten hours of this. On and off

Mostly on, and you, well you were not cognizant.

——

The redhead had mistakenly read one of Tony's world record books, it was a gag that he childishly bought. In the section dedicated to fornication she had read that the longest "episode of sex" to have been recorded, with no change in intimacy partners, was five hours long. So of course, Natasha Romanoff, the competitive devil, took the challenge on to double it, ensuring that no one (human-wise) ever beat her record.

You knew when you met her on the battlefield that she was an overachiever. It was the way that she had been graceful the entire time she choked the enemy with her beefy, as well as soft, thighs. To the now, where she fell beside you with an arm that held no functionality. All of the adrenaline faded and she huffed a tired chuckle.

What a night it had been she mused within the hollow confines of her dimming mind. Though sore she was able to get out of bed and work to clean you up. The moment you two had hit hour eight you were snoring. Natasha admired the way your body convulsed with every sleep time orgasm, even if you couldn't feel it, you were having the time of your unconscious life.

The you of the morning will be gobsmacked and in some way turned on. Your vagina that should be in ruins would likely pulse with a sharp, painful need. For now though she settled your core beneath a pair of fresh panties and slipped you up the bed and onto the pillows that were designed for you. Then she cleaned up the room of any evidence. She took the toys down to the small, second kitchen you had and tossed them into the designated dishwasher. Then she finished off the tray of peanut butter sandwiches she'd made for the nights necessary fuel station. She also had vodka, and an assortment of chocolate and fruit to munch on.

The rules of the book stated that breaks that lasted less than three minutes were ebbed into the flow of things.

Natasha was terrified to let you down, and by you she meant her very annoying sense of pride. Which is why the night started off with you in the captains position. Your soft lips painted her skin a lovely blend of maroon and lilac, the blue to forge a galaxy would come later.

The way she mewled for you felt pornographic, and then you remembered she had planned to record this for proof. You shakily agreed so she set up five cameras around the room. At each two hour mark when she stopped to drink some water or bite into a peanut butter sandwich she'd stop the one and start the other when she was back. Each clip got a different angle, each with their own feature and timestamped to the second to further prove the breaks weren't prolonged.

Natasha nearly killed you when her knees locked behind your head; but you didn't mind. You whispered a prayer against her pussy that she'd hopefully find you in paradise one day, then she came with a miracle on the dancing tastebuds of your tongue. Oxygen filled your lungs just as it excavated hers, the both of you spluttered as you choked on her slick, and she forgot how to breathe in place of the dizzying pleasure.

Thirty minutes down, but you were far from tired. It showed in the wild irises Natasha's soft emeralds met. Whenever you looked at her like that she lost all of her sense of authority. You'd flipped her over and fingered her while backhanding and palming at her smooth ass. Natasha grunted at each slap then moaned at the thrusts, it was husky and made your body tremble.

Natasha chased every single high you offered her, and she was near to losing count when you slowed down. You'd made it to hour three, and that's when the need to rest began to set in. Natasha saw it, and flipped you over so she could take over. You'd lasted longer than anytime before in one straight session and she was so incredibly proud, but more importantly turned on.

"Fuck Y/N," she panted against your cheek as her fingers slid through your slick folds. "You made me cum eight times and my pussy is still throbbing as you moan in my ear." Her lips lowered further, hot breath tickled your ear and you giggled breathily. "Keep going my sweet girl, you're in for a long night so keep it up."

You did your best too, entertaining her with answers to her filthy questions, moaning and thrashing as she found a new way to get you to your new best orgasm, but then your lethargy began to set in once again.

At hour six Natasha had sat your limp form up and nourished you back to life within the time constraint. Offering you a bit more enjoyment before the eventual KO took place. Your cries turned into whimpers, then choked moans until the sound of skin slapping and slick sliding was all she could focus on as she thrusted.

There was no time to feel any aches when focusing on keeping your body mindlessly jolting so Natasha built up her mental walls and in the long run gave herself carpal tunnel. In the end she felt it was worth it, as she won the fictitious title of "longest sex (love making) session ever recorded," and then she found you three days later after coming home early (at midnight as opposed to 7am) with your fingers inside you as your eyes were transfixed on her head between your legs.

"Wanna make a new record?" You jumped up and held your slick hand out in front of you to stall her request from happening, but all the redhead did was lunge and take your fingers into her greedy mouth. She moaned at the uniquely tangy taste, but her eyes creased in contradiction as your slivered nail scraped her palate.

"I need to taste you," she grunted and you gasped, "Natasha baby please." She shushed you with a bruising kiss and rubbed your cunt against her latex suit. You choked on her tongue and she chuckled, "It's okay detka, you can admit that you need me, I'm here."

"I'm sensitive," you whimpered and she kissed the bridge of your nose in comfort. "I'll be gentle detka, I just want to spend four hours talking to your pussy. Gonna tell you all the reasons why I love you while your moans convey the same message back to me."

"Please," you were breathless now and this time you were beckoning her closer instead of away. She pecked your lips then pulled away abruptly to keep her focus on a shower, while also making you stumble. "Get on the bed with nothing on detka, keep your hands to yourself and sit pretty while I take my quick shower."

"Be fast mommy," you cried and she cackled as the door shut, showing you her intentions to edge you.

You smirked, excited that your plan had worked, much unlike your legs would come morning; Natasha would now likely spend the entire week at your beck and call.

In the end, everyone wins.

Well, except for Tony, who had to fork out the cash for sound proofing the walls and sending Steve to therapy.

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff smut #natasha romanoff blurb #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x y/n #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha romanoff x female reader #gxg #natasha x reader #natasha x y/n #natasha x you #natasha x fem!reader

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olympeline · 13 days

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FrUK FACE family Parent Trap AU, part 8! Part 1

Last time we left off, Tony had just returned and Matthew met “his” future stepdad. It was a shock to come face to face with Tony the way he did, but Mattie didn’t give himself away. He’s had plenty of practice dealing with curveballs by this point. So, they all sit down for breakfast and, afterwards, Matthew gets to witness Arthur and Antonio interact. Just ordinary domestic stuff. Mattie observes, and soon he can see what Alfred meant when he said that - although he likes Tony - he doesn’t think Tony and his dad are a good match. They get along, but there’s no passion. It’s almost like a business friendship, albeit an affectionate one. Tony is a nice guy and Mattie enjoys laughing at his jokes and chatting about ordinary, day-to-day things. So, no potential evil stepfather subplot here. But he still feels his stomach sink at the thought of what could happen in the future after he and Alfred swap back.

Can Matthew picture Arthur married to Tony? He can, but it’s not a picture that sits well with him.

What picture would sit well? Ah, isn’t that just the question. But one we’re not ready to answer. Yet

Meanwhile, Alfred is enjoying his time with Francis but Mattie’s jibe last time they talked is still niggling him. Alfred knows that he isn’t really a bad kid, but he does frustrate and exasperate Arthur. Lot’s of calls from teachers about talking in class and angry neighbours clutching baseballs and complaining about broken windows. Stuff like that. The thought of Arthur being happier with his more well behaved son? A son he won’t have to constantly excuse and apologise for? Yeah. Alfred no-likee. He’s well on his way to loving Matthew as a brother, but still. A little seed or resentment being planted? Maybe. Both twins have some complex feelings to deal with. I mean, on top of everything else going on with their situation, lol

Things go on as normal, until a few days later when Alfred comes home from school to find Uncle Gil waiting for him. Francis was called away last minute for work and so Gil is here to babysit. Alfred doesn’t mind. Gil is awesome! The two of them are ignoring Francis’s meticulously laid out instructions and making their own idea of food instead (“Hey, Uncle Gil, can we have a can of frosting for dinner?” “Sure, kid!”) when Gilbert casually brings up that his brother is getting married soon. In New York. Seems his fiance, an Italian expat, runs a restaurant there. Afterwards, Gil’s brother plans to move to New York permanently to live with his new spouse. Without thinking, Alfred starts enthusiastically talking about how great NYC is and how much Gilbert’s brother (Uncle Ludwig to Mattie) will love it there.

Alfred goes on and on about his home city for so long (homesickness nipping at the lad? Yep) that he doesn’t realise Gilbert has fallen silent and is just standing there, watching and listening. With an unreadable look on his face. Alfred trails off when Gilbert suddenly reaches out and tilts Alfred’s head, brushing his fingers behind his ear. Alfred is confused.

“Uncle Gil? What-?”

“You fell off the wall at the end of the garden when you were a kid,” Gilbert says. “Fell and cut yourself on a stone. Bled like a stuck pig and needed stitches. First time in hospital. Fran was having kittens. Think he cried more than you. Remember?”

Alfred feels his heart start to bang in his chest. Mattie never thought to tell him about that. It happened too long ago and they didn’t have time to go over everything. Alfred tries to sound confident when he replies:

“Yeah, yeah. I remember.”

“You do, huh? Like you remember New York?”

Alfred’s mouth is dry. The confidence is rapidly ebbing.

“I - y-yeah…”

“Weird, since you’ve never been.”

Alfred’s heart stops.

“I…I…”

Those red eyes bore into him.

“Or,” Gilbert says. “Should I say, Mattie’s never been. Or is that wrong now, too?”

Gilbert feels behind Alfred’s ear again, then takes his hand back. And stares Alfred down.

“No scar.”

Alfred can’t speak. He feels like he’s going to faint.

“Let me guess,” Gilbert says. “Alfred?”

(Dun dun dun! In the end, it was Gilbert who worked it out first. Whodathunkit? Anyway, that’s all I have for now. So, please enjoy and stay tuned for part 9! (´ε｀ )♡)

#hetalia #fruk #face family #hws france #hws england #hws america #hws canada #hws spain #hws prussia #my posts #aph france #aph england #aph america #aph canada #aph spain #aph prussia #parent trap au

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le-amewzing · 2 months

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All We Have in the End

Absolutely had to write the Paris POV of receiving that news. ;w; *Note: Set during s21e2, "The Stories We Leave Behind."

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Fic: "All We Have in the End" [FFN] [AO3] [pfio]

Pairings/Characters: Tony DiNozzo/Ziva David, DiNozzo Sr., & Tali David–DiNozzo, with a cameo from Timothy McGee

Rating: K+

Words: ~1,580

Additional info: family, tragedy, hurt/comfort, 3rd person POV

Summary: Their day is winding down in Paris, and the David–DiNozzo family gets a call from McGee just like any…other…day…

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"I've decided: I am not a fan of the unseasonably warm winter," Tony announced as Ziva joined him on their balcony late that February afternoon. They had the big double doors thrown wide open, and a chilly breeze caught the curtains, pulling the fabric outside, trying to wrap the couple in a warm embrace as they looked out on the twinkling city below.

She chuckled beside him and leaned against his left arm while he rested on his arms on the balcony railing. "So we've not had much snow, Tony. Personally, while I miss the winter wonderland D.C. can be this time of year…I won't dismiss that this is nice, too."

"But the hot cocoa! The s'mores!"

"You whine as though we've not done all those things still," she reminded him with a gentle poke to his side.

True. He nodded at that, although he wanted to bring up snowball fights next…then again, he wasn't getting any younger. Bending down to scoop up snow and play with Tali and her friends and their families was, uh, not as easy as it used to be. Even compared to a year or two ago.

Ziva rested her chin on his shoulder and nuzzled his cheek, moving her arms around him. "Besides, I find I am quite partial to this weather. Soft sweaters and," she murmured, leaving her thought go unfinished.

But Tony glanced at her, his grumpiness ebbing. He turned in her arms, drawing her close, because he actually knew what the rest of that thought was, now that they had several years under their belt, here.

Together. In Paris. With Tali.

Tony hadn't remarked about it. Not before, because he hadn't wanted to scare Ziva off, and not now, because he didn't want to piss her off. But now, setting down roots here, Ziva clearly was comfortable—in a new home, in her own skin, in showing her love and affection. He was proud of her, but—more than anything—he was happy for her, and Tony reminded her of this as he pressed a kiss to her temple as well as one to her lips.

"WE'RE HOME, ABBA, IMAH!!!" Tali yelled from deep inside the flat, and the front door closed behind her a moment later.

The parents chuckled and Tony rolled his eyes as they walked inside. "Indoor voice, Tal, indoor voice."

The ten-year-old grinned and dropped her schoolbag on the nearest chair before rushing her mother for a hug.

Tony glanced at his father behind Tali. "How was the walk home?"

"Fantastic," Senior said. He shed his coat and draped it on the back of the chair where Tali left her bag. "You know, that teacher from Tali's school, Madame Dumond, she always has a bright smile for me whenever I pick Tali up from school…"

Tony's face fell. He had to be imagining that twinkle in Senior's eye—oh, God, he was hallucinating that cocky twinkle in his eye, right?! "Dad, please tell me you didn't."

"What? I haven't done anything, son. We just exchange hellos, and she's incredibly patient with my broken French."

He rubbed his forehead, sensing a headache developing, and he didn't appreciate the snickers on his right. "…don't encourage him, Zee."

"What? I have seen the way Madame Dumond looks at your father. It's cute."

Thankfully, a familiar series of chirps sounded in the other room. Tony did a double-take before he realized he'd left his laptop in his and Ziva's room-slash-home office. Given the time difference, he didn't have high hopes it was McGee calling from the start of the workday, but a part of him wished for his friend's ear, because at least McGee might sympathize with him. So Tony ducked into the room, grabbed the device, and returned only to catch his daughter's eye as Senior split a chocolate éclair with her. "Hey! No spoiling your dinner."

"What's for dinner?" Tali and Senior asked in unison.

Tony rolled his eyes. "Undecided. But, Tali, homework first."

The curly-haired scamp didn't protest, but she did shove her entire half of the éclair in her mouth before scooting off to her room with her belongings.

Ziva snickered. "And, knowing you and your talk of s'mores earlier, we'll be heading out to that specialty dessert restaurant tonight," she quipped.

Tony's cheeks warmed, because his partner…wasn't entirely wrong. "Yeah, yeah…" Before the video caller gave up, he opened his laptop and the app—and was relieved to discover his wish had been answered. "McGoober McCheese! Have some crime-solving only we can assist with from across the pond?"

McGee opened his mouth, but no sound came out.

Tony furrowed his brow. He glanced at the app's settings…no, the volume was up and everything appeared to be running just fine…and the video feed wasn't frozen… Tony's good cheer vanished, his smile forced. "McGee?"

McGee struggled to meet his eyes. When he did, Tony saw: They were red.

…aw, hell. This—This was like three years ago all over again. But if the shock of Bishop's treason (which, as Tony and Ziva had discussed between themselves, made zero sense without someone pulling serious strings…) and then the brief terror of Gibbs' supposed death had made McGee pale and a mess that reverted him to his probie self, then what…?

Tony dropped onto the family sofa like a sack of potatoes.

Oh.

Someone…someone was gone. For real, this time.

Ziva drew near and placed a hand on Tony's left shoulder, her fingers curling into him, strong, as she reached the same conclusion. Senior sat down in the armchair, looking from his son to the screen.

Finally, McGee got enough breath in him, and his words came out in an exhale: "Jimmy found Ducky."

Tony winced. Not from Ziva digging her nails in, not from hearing his father's gasp—he winced, because the news…the news hurt. The news was a blow.

Ducky.

Ducky—he was someone who was supposed to live forever. If he could survive wartime battlefields and being attacked on the job and even that damn heart-attack after Dearing's attack on NCIS headquarters, then surely Dr. Donald "Ducky" Mallard was some breed of invincible man, not far removed from Gibbs himself. He was supposed to live well into his hundreds, into his two-hundreds. He— He— He—

Ducky didn't just pass away in his sleep. Ducky was supposed to be around forever.

All the while Tony's thoughts jumbled, McGee kept talking, about organizing things and trying to help Jimmy and just—everyone there trying to hold it together.

Ah. Right. There…was still an agency, a team mourning their friend.

Ducky wasn't theirs alone.

"What can we do to help, Tim?" Senior offered.

His question caught both McGee and Tony by surprise, and both looked Senior's way. "…uhh, nothing, Mr. DiNozzo, sorry. We've got our hands full, and I'm in the middle of calling you all first." He paused to swallow a lump in his throat. "I called Gibbs before I called you. …Abby's next on my list."

"Thank you for letting us know, McGee," Ziva said.

He nodded by way of parting, and the video cut out a second later.

Ziva studied Tony—he felt her eyes on him—and she pulled the laptop from his grip. "Tony…"

He closed his eyes, though. He knew they all mourned Ducky, but there was…this was different. Ducky belonged to everyone, yes, but also—he didn't. The team originally had been Gibbs, Tony, Kate, McGee, Abby, Ducky, and Jimmy.

But Kate had been taken too soon. Then Tony, Abby, and Gibbs left. And now McGee and Jimmy… Tony rubbed that same spot on his forehead, his headache arriving as he tried to hold back his tears as well as a confusing mixture of grief and other emotions he couldn't quite name.

Ziva passed the laptop to Senior as she sat beside Tony. She pulled him in and held him, tight, without saying a word.

The first one to break the silence was Senior, a few minutes later. He piped up, "I can book you on a flight back to D.C. that departs in an hour. It's cutting it close, and you'll have a layover, but it'll make do."

They both turned to him. Tony gawked. "You—"

Senior shook his head. "Tony, you know you've gotta be there. I'd love to go and pay my respects to my fellow Sherlock, and I can tell Ziva would love to go, too," he said, and Ziva gave him a wet smile, "but you have to be there."

Tony faced Ziva. "But—"

She shushed him. "Tali's still in the middle of the school year. Your father and I can man-handle the fort while you're gone."

Relief bubbled up in his chest, pushing down the urge to chuckle at and not correct her Zivaism. "Zee, Dad—"

But Senior was having none of it. He got back to clicking on the airline's site. "Tim said there wasn't anything I could do, but I like to prove you kids wrong even now. So go pack your nicest suit, Tony, and represent all of us."

Ziva nodded at that, and she pecked Tony's cheek. "Being there is one thing you can do, so give them our love," she said. "Remind them that they're not alone. It's what we can do."

Tony watched as Ziva laced their fingers together, clasped his hand. Strangely, that mix of emotions didn't threaten to overwhelm him anymore. "…yeah," he agreed, "it's what we can do."

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Hi, hello, still a wreck after that final scene in s21e2. The mellow version of the theme song, the nods to all the other offices (they didn't forget about NOLA! TT-TT), and just…a lot of details in general had my entire family teary-eyed throughout the ep. But then. THE TONY CAMEO. And not a dry eye could be found in the mew household, folks. Ngl, it made it hard to pay full attention to Hawai'i after, *lol*. X'D So…some things. First, the title comes from a passing line of Jimmy's at the end of the ep; he refers to the stories left behind as what we have in the end, altho Tony corrects him, about the "the lives we touch"—and I like that take, implying that what we have still is each other. :') Second, with this story, there's deffo a big nod to my previous fic, "Stand-In," bc it's hard not to see the parallels in terms of McGee reaching out with Bad News™ to tell the David–DiNozzo family. But, here, more time has passed, and Tiva truly are more comfortable in their lives here…altho, receiving this call and thinking about a) the OG team and b) his age, it's implied that this is a bit of a wake-up call for Tony, too. Things have been changing for a long time, but things feel far more permanent now. This Tony is much more aware of his mortality now (which, as a Marvel fan, is not a fun sentence to type, ouch ;w; *has cross-fandom feels again even tho it's been yrs*). ANYWHO. I just wanted to give us all a peek into how the Tiva fam prolly is doing (spunky little Tali! Senior still up to his charming old ways!!! Tiva being Tiva!!!!), and to reflect a bit on the ep. Actually rly happy they had a lot of great flashbacks for the ep from across the seasons… RIP, DM and DM.

Thanks for reading, and feel free to: leave an anon/unsigned review via the FFN link, comment via the AO3 link at the top of the post, or comment via the pillowfort link also at the top, especially if you enjoyed this!

~mew

#ncis #tiva #tony dinozzo #ziva david #dinozzo sr #tali david dinozzo #fanfic #mew writes too much #timothy mcgee #have the paris pov of part of s21e2 #have some feels #the feels man the feels

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tony-andonuts · 4 months

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I think I'm clearly biased (url says all) but Winters (Snow Wood specifically) is my favourite area in all of Earthbound

#like.#its such a comfy cosy area #and who can forget. tonys there <33333333333 #*the* Tony Andonuts #just watching an EB glitchless speedrun and basking in the 2 minutes they spend in snow wood...#tony speaks

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againstacecilia · 2 years

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A Path Changed

Pairing: Din Djarin x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1.9k

Rating: M, series is E so minors DNI

Warnings: Canon-typical violence, angst, this one gets emotional, gun use.

A/N: Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for getting to 300 followers! I know I've said this before, but I'm so thankful and grateful for all of you being here. I'm so excited to share this chapter with you! All I'll say is: enjoy the ride. 😉 @creatively-analytical is forever and always the best beta reader, thank you love. 💖 Asks are always open!!

You woke up as the shuddering of the ship knocked you from your seated position. Cursing the crick in your neck and sore back, you stood up and stretched. Suddenly, you realized you were taking off and you shot up the ladder to the cockpit.

You clumsily scaled the ladder, sleep still ebbing from your veins, and found the door already open. “Where are we going?” you say as soon as you straighten up on the landing, “I thought we were staying here?”

“I got a tip from Tonis early this morning, the bounty your fiance is tracking was seen on Batuu last night. The planet isn’t too far from here.”

“And you were going to tell me this, when?” You snapped, strapping into your chair behind him.

“Now,” he said, flipping a couple of switches.

“Anything else I should know?”

He answered with silence. A common occurrence, you’d found. You were left to simmer in your anger at being left out of the loop as the ship sped away from Jakku, leaving the oceans of sand behind you.

After a night of poor sleep, the hum of the engines quickly lulled you into a doze and you let yourself drift. Vague dreams of Arlon floated through your mind, filling you with joy and sadness all at once. Even in your dreams, you missed him.

Before you knew it, a light touch on your shoulder was waking you.

“Hey,” Mando’s voice was soft, “We’re here.”

You dragged your eyes open, blinking the sleep away as soft light filtered in through the windows and reflected off Mando’s armor. “I didn’t realize I had fallen asleep, sorry.”

“Nothing to apologize for,” he responded, straightening up and heading toward the ladder.

You unbuckled and stood to follow. Climbing down, you noticed Mando strapping various weapons to his belt from a closet against the wall. Guns you’d never seen before slipped into holsters, while knives of all sizes were slipped into pockets and hiding places all over his body.

“Wow. That’s a lot of weaponry…” You commented, uneasy about what his personal arsenal would mean for the day’s events.

“You can never be too careful,” he said, strapping a rifle across his back.

“Why do you have so many?” You asked, crossing the small room to look in the cabinet, “How do you know what they all do?”

Mando reached into the cabinet over your shoulder before he answered, “Weapons are part of my religion. I’ve trained with them for most of my life.” He picked up a blaster and handed it to you.

“What are you doing?” you asked, staring at the weapon.

“You need something to protect yourself. This should work.”

“But,” you stuttered, still not taking the blaster from him, “I’ve never used one of these.”

“I’ll give you a quick lesson before we head to the quarry’s last location. It won’t take long.”

You closed his fingers over the weapon and pushed his hand back towards him, shaking your head. “I’m more likely to hurt myself or someone innocent than actually use it to protect myself.”

His other hand reached up and gently nudged your chin up to look at him. “You’ll be fine.”

Something in his promise made you believe him, so you sucked in a breath and took the small blaster from him. Bright silver metal with beautiful filigree along the barrel shined in your hand. You went to put it in your waistband when Mando interrupted.

“Ah ah ah, let’s not do that,” he chuckled, handing you a leather strap with a holster. “This goes around your thigh and the blaster fits inside.”

He showed you how to clasp the holder around your hip and thigh, keeping a respectful distance and guiding you verbally. Once he was sure it was on correctly, you slipped the blaster into its place and you both headed down the ramp into the forests of Batuu.

- - - - - - - -

“Alright, time for the basics,” Mando said once he had set up some empty ration containers to use as targets. You had found a clearing not far from the ship and Mando announced this was where you’d get your lesson. Mando ran through the parts of the gun; the grips and barrel, the sight and trigger. “Most importantly, always treat a blaster as if the safety is off. It’s better to assume the weapon is live than to make a mistake that could be costly.”

“Okay, I can do that. Um… Where’s the safety?”

A small sigh slipped through the modulator as Mando closed the distance between the two of you. He pointed at a small switch above the trigger.

“And the safety is on right now? Or, no, I’m supposed to assume it’s off…”

“Right now, it’s on. Let’s switch it off and see how your aim is, we don’t have much time,” Mando stepped away and gestured to the targets set up across the clearing.

Cheeks burning with embarrassment, you flipped the safety and memorized the difference in the “off” and “on” positions. You lifted the blaster and closed one eye, aiming down the small sight on the top.

“Stop,” Mando said before coming up to your side once again. He gestured to your hands, “May I?”

You nod and he repositioned your fingers along the grip, as well as shifted your arms and shoulders. “Relax, you’re too tense.”

You snorted, “Sure, I’ll just relax. As if anything about this situation is anything other than tense.”

“You can do it,” Mando said, stepping back. “Now, try and hit the targets.”

You spent the next 20 minutes firing at small tin boxes, hitting some, missing more, and generally learning the basics of the weapon.

“That’s a good start,” Mando said after a time, “you should be able to at least hold someone off until I can get to you.”

You looked at him with an eyebrow cocked, “Is this a scenario you’re anticipating?”

“You can never be too careful,” he said again, echoing his statement from earlier.

“Super reassuring,” you mumbled, flipping the safety on and holstering your blaster. “Come on, let’s get moving.”

It took 20 minutes before the small outpost came into view through the trees. The path widened into a road leading straight into the makeshift town, small wooden buildings patched together lined the road.

“This outpost was the most recent place the quarry was seen. We need to ask around.”

“Lead the way, Bounty Hunter,” you responded, scanning the buildings for people. “Although, it is really quiet… Do you think…”

Before you could finish the question, a shot rang through the air. Before you could react, Mando had thrown his body over yours. The impact of his body throwing you to the ground made your teeth rattle, but you didn’t have any time to worry about aches and pains as another blaster shot ricocheted off his beskar.

“Back off, Mandalorian, the quarry is mine!” A voice echoed down the street from the direction of the gunshots. A familiar voice…

“Arlon,” you whispered as the ringing in your ears faded. “Mando, get off, that’s my fiance! Arlon!”

“You need to stay down…” Mando started, but you wiggled out from under him and stood up, already running toward the voice.

“Arlon, it’s me!” You shouted, legs and arms pumping and driving you closer to him. His eyes widened as recognition flitted across his face. He said your name in quiet surprise as you reached him, throwing your arms around his neck and holding him close.

“I’m so happy you're alive, I’ve been so worried,” you buried your face in his neck and fought back the tears of joy threatening to fall.

“What are you doing here?” Arlon asked, gently pulling you away from him. He looked hard into your eyes and scanned your face as if not totally believing you were standing in front of him.

“You didn’t come back and I was so worried,” your words started falling from your lips in a rush. “I asked Tonis what happened and he told me you had gone after some big bounty and then asked the Mandalorian to help me find you and we did it! We found you! And now you can work with Mando to get this quarry and come home!” Your breathing was heavy after you finished talking. You studied Arlon’s face for the happiness you were sure he’d feel but, instead, you saw… Anger.

“Arlon… Say something,” you breathed. A pit formed in your stomach.

Arlon looked away from you, fist clenched at his side.“You weren’t supposed to follow me,” he said after a beat. He looked back at you, anger fully burning in his eyes now. “You were supposed to stay home and assume I died. I was banking on you being too scared to come after me; too weak to follow into the scary galaxy outside your little hole.”

Tears finally began to fall, but these weren’t tears of joy. Pain, searing and brutal, rushed through you as the meaning of his words began to set in. “Arlon… You don’t mean any of this…”

“I do mean it! Every word! You always kept me from being what I was capable of being, and the worst part is, I almost fell for it! And my parents, always so happy I had found such a good girl, always so ecstatic that I was going to be settling down and finally following the right path. Pathetic.” Then he pushed you, hands coming up to shove your shoulders quicker than you could react.

You felt your body fall, but felt your heart fall faster. You could feel it shatter as it landed at the bottom of a pit deeper than you could fathom. Your world fractured around you as your body moved in slow motion toward the ground.

Strong hands slipped under your arms and caught you before impact. Through the tears that flooded your eyes, you caught the swimming image of Beskar and a dark visor looking over you toward Arlon. Mando eased you to the ground, pulling you into a seated position against his chest.

“Do we have a problem here?” Arlon asked, the sneer in his voice scraped through your ears. Mando ignored the question and looked down at you.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly, his voice as gentle as the hands holding you.

You shook your head, words failing you. You tried, but the tears wouldn’t stop.

Mando squeezed your shoulders before helping you into a standing position. He shifted to stand in front of you and finally addressed Arlon.

“Apologize.”

“Excuse me?” Arlon responded.

“Apologize to her.”

Arlon scoffed, “I have nothing to apologize for. She ruined my life for too long, and I needed to find my own path so I took my chance.”

In the blink of an eye, Mando had gone from standing in front of you to holding Arlon above his head by his collar. In the next blink, Arlon was on the ground.

“Arlon,” you started, reaching toward him.

“Don’t touch me!” Arlon shouted, scrambling to his feet. “If you didn’t get the hint the first time I’ll spell it out for you now: leave me alone and forget about me. I have no room in my life for boring, unimaginative, dreamless people with no ambition.” Without so much as looking at you or Mando again, he turned and ran down the road, disappearing down a side street.

You watched him go, the echoes of your heart shattering still reverberating in your ears. The world lurched uncomfortably before tilting, and darkness swallowed you up.

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cogentranting · 5 months

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I made a claim that there is a trend that won't allow female leads of superhero movies and tv shows to have and end up with a male love interest. So I decided to back that up with some stats. I looked at 60 different lead characters of live-action superhero tv shows and movies from Marvel and DC, sorted them into different categories by gender and type of ending (see the details below the cut).

My findings:

While 95% of male lead superheroes have opposite sex love interests, only 61% of female lead heroes have opposite sex love interests. 62% of male leads end up together with their (female) love interests. Only 22% of female leads end up with their (male) love interest (in fact I can only find 4 examples, as opposed to the 26 male examples. All four are tv shows. I do not know of a female lead superhero movie/movie franchise that ends with the female lead happy together with her male love interest.) In contrast only 5% of male leads have no love interest whatsoever, as opposed to 22% of female leads. Women are also more likely to have their love interest die, with 17% compared to the male 10%.

The categories I used:

A. ends up with their love interest (the lead themselves MAY die. For example Tony Stark does get to marry Pepper and have a child, and then dies. Oliver Queen has a similar situation and then also gets an epilogue together with Felicity in some sort of afterlife) B. Has a love interest but doesn't end up with them (they split up; the love interest ends up with someone else; they are permanently separated) C. The love interest dies D. No canonical love interest E. The series is still ongoing/was cancelled mid-story-- there IS a love interest but it's not clear if they end up together eventually or not (EA-- will probably be together/implied they will; EB-- doesn't seem like they'll be together; E-- I have no clue. I recognize these are open to interpretation, that's why they're classified separately) F. Same Sex love interest

"What do you mean by a "lead"?" They have to be THE main character of their series/movie/franchise. Generally this is the title character. Ensembles were included only if there was a clearly discernible main character (e.g. Peter Quill in GOTG). The only times I counted co-leads was in the cases of Agents of Shield (both Daisy and Coulson), TFATWS (Sam and Bucky), BVS (Clark and Bruce), and Hawkeye (Clint and Kate).

Marvel male leads Tony Stark A Steve Rogers A Scott Lang A Clint Barton A T'challa A Nick Fury A Phil Coulson A Peter Parker (Maguire) A Marc Spector/Steven Grant A/EA Danny Rand EA Michael Morbius EA Matt Murdock (Cox- Netflix) EA Peter Parker (Holland) EA Bruce Banner B Doctor Strange B Loki B Luke Cage B Matt Murdock (Affleck) B Peter Quill C/B (I'm counting it as a C, his version of Gamora died) Frank Castle (Bernthal) C/B Peter Parker (Garfield) C Thor C Shang-Chi D (but if I had to guess, will end up with Katy) Sam Wilson D Bucky Barnes E (I'm counting Sarah Wilson as a canon love interest. If not, he's in the D category) Eddie Brock E

Marvel Female Leads Peggy Carter A Daisy Johnson A Kamala Khan EA Jessica Jones EB Natasha Romanoff B Jennifer Walters B (I'm counting Matt as a love interest for her show, but I don't think there's any chance of them being together past what we saw. Categorize this as an EB if you prefer) Sersi C Wanda Maximoff C Shuri D Kate Bishop D Carol Danvers D 26 M 11F

Marvel Male Stats A- 8/26 31% A+ EA- 13/26 50% B- 5/26 19% B + EB- 7/26 27% C- 4/26 15% D- 2/26 8% E- 2/26 8% A/B/C/E (has some sort of love interest regardless of ending)-- 24/26 92% (alt if you don't count Bucky as having a love interest, 23/26 88%)

Marvel Female stats A- 2/11 18% A+ EA- 3/11 27% B- 2/11 18% B + EB- 3/11 27% C- 2/11 18% D- 3/11 27% E- X A/B/C/E-- 8/11 72%

DC Male Leads Hal Jordan A Arthur Curry A Jaime Reyes A Clark Kent (Cavil) A Clark Kent (Hoechlin) A Clark Kent (Welling) A Oliver Queen (Amell) A Barry Allen (Gustin) A Jefferson Pierce A Dick Grayson (Thwaites) A Barry Allen (Miller) EA (or maybe A) Bruce Wayne (Pattinson) EA Bruce Wayne (Bale) A/C Bruce Wayne (Affleck) D Billy Batson D Black Adam D DC Female Leads Courtney Whitmore A Kara Danvers (Benoist) B Diana Prince C Harley Quinn (Robbie) D Sarah Lance F Kate Kane F Ryan Wilder F 16 M 7F DC Male Stats A- 11/16 69% A+ EA- 13/16 81% D- 3/16 19% DC Female Stats A- 1/7 14% B- 1/7 14% C- 1/7 14% D- 1/7 14% F- 3/7 42% A/B/C/E--4/7 57%

Total men: 42 Total women: 18

DC + Marvel Men A- 19/42 45% A+ EA- 26/42 62% B- 5/42 12% B + EB- 7/42 17% C- 4/42 10% D- 2/42 5% E- 2/42 5% A/B/C/E--40/42 95%

DC +Marvel Women A- 3/18 17% A+ EA- 4/18 22% B- 3/18 17% B + EB- 4/18 22% C- 3/18 17% D- 4/18 22% F-3/18 17% A/B/C/E--11/18 61%

Additional Explanations:

I only included movies/shows from after 2000.

If a character has multiple love interests I categorized them by their most important or final love interest. Being together with someone at the end of the series automatically puts them in the A category. If they don't end up with anyone, I made a judgment about which love interest was most significant and grouped them according to that. For instance--- Daisy Johnson has 3 major love interests (Ward, Lincoln, Sousa) but she is grouped as an A because she ends the series in a relationship with Sousa. Frank Castle I counted as a C because while Karen is maybe a love interest, his wife and her death are the more significant story factor.

I excluded movies/series that are an ensemble without a clear lead such as Marvel's Runaways (or where I didn't know enough about the movie to determine if there was a clear lead, like Suicide Squad). I also left out movies that I just don't know much about (like Deadpool, Elektra, or Watchmen). I left out Cloak and Dagger because I'm incredibly unclear whether they are meant to be future love interests or not. All X-men properties were excluded because determining A) who counts as a lead, B) are the different versions different characters and C) what endings count as canon was just a mess so I decided to skip it.

Why is Fury on this list as an A? He's the lead of Secret Invasion and is married. We might not see his wife again but last we heard they're happily married.

Why did you specify Matt Murdock as (Cox-Netflix)? Right now it's unclear if the main MCU Matt and the Netflix Matt are the same continuity, though it seems like they are not. The Netflix show ends with the suggestion that Matt and Karen will get back together at some point. She-Hulk and what's been seen so far of future Daredevil appearances don't acknowledge Karen.

Why is Peggy a lead/does Peggy really end up with her love interest? She's the lead of Agent Carter though not the lead of a movie. If we're counting Agent Carter separately, she ends that show in a relationship with Daniel. They are different ways to interpret timelines and which shows exist in which timelines etc. but regardless, Peggy is the lead of a show, and ends up married to either Steve or Daniel.

Why are same-sex relationships counted separately? Because I'm specifically looking at a trend regarding putting female characters in relationships with male characters. I contend that it stems from a sexist view that doing so portrays the woman as subordinate or lesser than her male partner, even if she is the main character. This "issue" is side-stepped by putting the lead in a relationship with another woman.

Why isn't Hope Van Dyne (Wasp) a lead even though she's a title character? Because functionally she's still secondary to Scott in the story. When I allowed co-leads they were never each other's love interests. Often the second lead is the love interest of the male lead, which skews the data. Gamora is a similar situation.

Further takeaways: 2 male heroes (Oliver Queen and Bale Batman) have a significant love interest turn out to be evil and betray them, plus an additional 3 (Iron Fist, Daredevil, and sorta Loki) that have some sort of minor betrayal that ends with the love interest on the same side as them. That's 5 or 12% depending on which number you take (I'm more inclined toward the 5%). 2 women have a major love interest turn out to be evil (Daisy Johnson and Sersi) and an additional three have a more minor betrayal with a turn around (Peggy, Courtney, and Kara). Which is 12 or 29%. Plus an additional 2 that were victims of an abusive relationship of some sort with an all out supervillain (41%).

In the above stats, characters were only put in the C (dead love interest) category if that is their main love interest. If they later end up with someone, they are in a different category. If we look at characters who had a love interest die at some point (whether permanently or not) stats are affected thusly: Male characters who have a love interest die: 12 Female characters who have a love interest die: 6 29% of male heroes have a love interest die 33% of female heroes have a love interest die

#mcu #dc #superheroes #here i made this

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joethetoonfanandoutcast · 6 months

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This is the complete list of characters I would have cameo at a Universal Animation assemblage similar to Once Upon a Studio.

Felix the Cat: Felix the Cat

Woody Woodpecker: Woody Woodpecker, Winnie Woodpecker

An American Tail: Fievel Mousekewitz, Tanya Mousekewitz, Papa Mousekewitz, Mama Mousekewitz, Yasha Mousekewitz, Tiger, Henri le pigeon, female pigeons, Tony Toponi, Bridget, Honest John, Gussie Mausheimer, Warren T. Cat, Digit, Maus Street Maulers, Cat R. Waul, TR Chula, the Cactus Cat Gang, Miss Kitty, Wylie Burp

Land Before Time: Littlefoot, Cera, Petrie, Ducky, Spike, Littlefoot's grandparents, Chomper

Opus 'n Bill: Opus, Bill the Cat, the ducks

We're Back!: A Dinosaur's Story: Rex, Elsa, Woog, Dweeb, Louie, Cecilia, Vorb, Stubbs, Captain Neweyes, Dr. Bleeb

Casper: Casper the Friendly Ghost, Stretch, Fatso, Stinky

Babe: Babe, Fly, Rex, Ferdinand, the mice

Balto: Balto, Jenna, Boris, Steele, Muk, Luk, Nikki, Kaltag, Star, Dixie, Sylvie, Rosy

Rocky & Bullwinkle: Rocket J. Squirrel, Bullwinkle J. Moose (in their 2D/CG 2000 looks), Fearless Leader, Boris Badenov, Natasha Femme-Fatale (in their 2D 2000 looks)

Curious George: Curious George, Ted the Man in the Yellow Hat, Maggie Dunlop

The Tale of Desperaux: Desperaux, his parents, Chiaroscuro "Roscuro", Chef Andre, Boldo

Despicable Me: Felonious Gru, Lucy Wilde, the Minions, Dr. Nefario, Margo, Agnes, Edith, Kyle, Vector, Mr. Perkins, Silas Ramsbottom, Eduardo Perez/El Macho, Antonio Perez, Scarlett Overkill, Herb Overkill, the Nelsons, Balthazar Bratt, Dru Gru, Marlena Gru, Fritz, Clive the Robot, the Vicious Six, Master Chow, Wild Knuckles' henchmen

Hop: EB, Easter Bunny, the Pink Berets, Carlos, Phil, bunnies, chicks

The Lorax: the Lorax, the Once-ler, Ted, Audrey, Mrs. Wiggins, Granny Norma, Aloysius O'Hare, O'Hare's bodyguards, Sy the Delivery Guy, the Hummingfish, the Swommee-Swans, the Barbaloots

The Secret Life of Pets: Max, Katie, Duke, Gidget, Snowball, Mel, Buddy, Pops, Tiberius, Rooster, Chuck, Liam, Daisy, Hu, Sergei, wolves

Sing: Buster Moon, Miss Crawley, Herman, Rosita, Norman, their piglets, Gunther, Johnny, Marcus, Stan, Barry, Ash, Lance, Becky, Eddie Noodleman, Nana Noodleman, Mr. and Mrs. Noodleman, Hobbes, Meena, her mother and grandparents, Mike, Nancy, Suki Lane, Porsha Crystal, Jimmy Crystal, Jerry, Nooshy, Darius, Klaus Kickenklober, Clay Calloway, the Q-Teez

The Grinch: the Grinch, Max, Fred, his mate and calf, Donna Who, Cindy-Lou Who, Bean, Buster, Bricklebaum, Mabel, Groopert, Axl, Izzy, Ozzy

Super Mario Bros.: Mario, Luigi, Princess Peach, Toad, Bowser Koopa, Donkey Kong, Cranky Kong, Kamek, penguins, Giuseppe

Migration: the duck family, Delroy, Pigeon, Erin

Characters I'm unsure would make the assemblage:

The Veggies of VeggieTales

The Jetsons, Mr. Spacely and anyone involved in Jetsons the Movie

And for real-life people:

Steven Spielberg, David Kirschner, George Miller, and Chris Meledandri as themselves.

What do you think?

#once upon a studio #universal animation #illumination crossover

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longliverockback · 1 month

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Rick Wakeman Return to the Centre of the Earth 2014 Music Fusion ————————————————— Tracks: 01. A Vision 02. The Return Overture 03. Mother Earth a. The Shadow of June b. The Gallery c. The Avenue of Prismed Light d. The Earthquake 04. Buried Alive 05. The Enigma 06. Is Anybody There? 07. The Ravine 08. The Dance of a Thousand Lights 09. The Shepherd 10. Mr. Slow 11. Bridge of Time 12. Never Is a Long, Long Time 13. Tales from the Lidenbrook Sea a. A River of Hope b. Hunter and Hunted c. Fight for Life 14. The Kill 15. Timeless History 16. Still Waters Run Deep 17. Time within Time a. The Ebbing Tide b. The Electric Storm 18. Ride of Your Life 19. Floating a. Globes of Fire b. Cascades of Fear 20. Floodflames 21. The Volcano a. Tongues of Fire b. The Blue Mountains 22. The End of the Return —————————————————

Simon Hanson

Justin Hayward

Katrina Leskanich

Tony Mitchell

Ozzy Osbourne

Trevor Rabin

David Snell

Patrick Stewart

Bonny Tyler

Rick Wakeman

Phil Williams

* Long Live Rock Archive

#RickWakeman #Rick Wakeman #Simon Hanson #Justin Hayward #Katrina Leskanich #Tony Mitchell #Ozzy Osbourne #Trevor Rabin #David Snell #Patrick Stewart #Bonny Tyler #Phil Williams #Return to the Centre of the Earth #Reissue #Progressive #2014

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mariacallous · 11 months

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Silvio Berlusconi, Italy’s longest-reigning post-World War II leader, wanted nothing more than for people to love him. Whether he was on the global stage or the stage of the cruise ship where he first worked as a singer, the former Italian prime minister, who died Monday at 86, was always working the crowd in a desperate search for approval.

Though Berlusconi officially left politics in a black limousine in November 2011—delivering his resignation to Italian President Giorgio Napolitano in Rome’s Quirinale Palace—he remained highly influential as a political powerbroker until his death.

It was a confidence vote over tax fraud allegations that forced his departure from office. After resigning, the former statesman sat slumped in the back of his dark limo as his driver slalomed through unfriendly crowds that lined the route to his tony villa, the Piazza Venezia. Spectators popped champagne corks in his direction, threw coins, and spat at his car yelling profanities and calling him a mafioso and a thief. A small ensemble played the “Hallelujah” chorus from George Frideric Handel’s “Messiah.” It was a spectacle only Italians could pull off with such flair.

Another government collapse meant little in Italy, but there was something spectacular about Berlusconi’s fall from grace. The “Teflon Don,” as he had been known before finally being ousted, was tarnished by a sex scandal in 2010 involving then-17-year-old dancer Karima El Mahroug, whose stage name was “Ruby Rubacuori” (Ruby Heartbreaker). Berlusconi had sprung her from a Milan police station after she called one of his assistants, who was aware that Ruby knew a lot more than most young women in Berlusconi’s lewd circle. The Ruby scandal started with Berlusconi’s office calling the Milan police station to say the young woman in question was Egyptian leader Hosni Mubarak’s granddaughter, which she was not. What she was, though, was a regular fixture in the “Bunga Bunga” parties the prime minister, also known as “Il Cavaliere” (The Knight), held in the basement of his Villa Arcore near Milan.

Women who participated in the soirees during nights of lap dancing for Berlusconi cronies—including strippers costumed as nuns, popes, and former U.S. President Barack Obama—told the courts during many investigations into Berlusconi that they were handed envelopes with cash and little gold necklaces with butterflies on them as payment at the end of each party.

By this time, Berlusconi had already been accused of what in most countries would be full-blown sex scandals but which are in Italy, for reasons not entirely clear, often empowering. Ruby was somehow different, however, not least because she was under the age of 18. The age of consent in Italy is 16, but the age of legal prostitution is 18, and she was—in the eyes of the law—prostituting herself to Berlusconi and his cronies. His defense was that she misled him about her age.

Berlusconi apparently learned the name “Bunga Bunga” from the late Libyan leader Muammar al-Qaddafi, who often pitched his Bedouin tents in some of Rome’s most lavish gardens on state visits and who was himself accused of abducting underage girls and holding them captive as sex slaves. The two leaders had an unusually close relationship, which led to Berlusconi signing a treaty in 2008 that funneled $5 billion to the North African nation to compensate for Italy’s colonization. In return, Qaddafi stopped the flow of African migrants crossing the Mediterranean Sea from Libya, while warning he could again “turn on the spigot and turn Europe black.” Berlusconi’s face even graced Libyan passports in the years before Qaddafi was killed during Libya’s civil war.

Berlusconi’s legacy ebbed and flowed as those he chose to embrace rose or fell into disgrace. He was considered U.S. President George W. Bush’s “second-best European friend” and stood up for U.S. President Bill Clinton when he was found to have had a sexual relationship with White House intern Monica Lewinsky. But it was his relationship with Russian President Vladimir Putin that would prove his most difficult and most damaging.

The two men made headlines when an escort wrote in her 2008 tell-all book that she had sex with Berlusconi in his Rome residence on a four-poster bed he referred to as “Putin’s bed.” The white bed, which she described as “having curtains at the top,” was almost certainly a wink-wink gift from one self-considered stud to another. In exchange, Berlusconi gave Putin a comforter cover featuring a real photo of the two men shaking hands and smiling ear-to-ear.

When Russia invaded Ukraine, it took Berlusconi more than a month to condemn the friend with whom he often shared his holiday homes in Sardinia, spawning an enclave for Russian oligarchs. Shortly after the war began, he told reporters that he thought “Europe must make a peace proposal, trying to get the Ukrainians to accept Putin’s demands.” He finally admitted his old friend Vlad was wrong, saying he was “disappointed and saddened” by his actions.

Not unlike former U.S. President Donald Trump—another “Teflon Don” to whom Berlusconi hated being compared—Berlusconi was the first Italian prime minister to lead the country without ever having served as an elected official. Though the two men shared similar styles, Berlusconi was a highly educated man whose grasp on geopolitics was impressive.

During an interview that former Newsweek foreign editor Christopher Dickey and I did with Berlusconi at his palatial Roman abode, he was flanked by aides and assistants he could have called on to answer any question. Instead, he spoke knowledgeably about Middle Eastern politics, named leaders from far-flung countries, provided insights on U.S. political debates, and gave us a read on nearly every country in Europe—how their leaders were faring and what the biggest geopolitical issues were at the time—all while his aides were left to chew idly on their croissants.

Berlusconi was born to a bank employee and a housewife in 1936. He would spend years taking his mother Rosa with him to meet world leaders, and she was often at his side at state dinners. She died in 2008. His sister Maria Francesca Antonietta died a year after their mother, and his brother and sometimes business partner Paolo is often in the sights of financial police.

One of his first jobs was as a vacuum salesman, and he moonlighted as a cruise ship singer throughout the 1960s. Later in life, between political successes, he wrote songs and published albums of Neapolitan ballads that are still widely played across Italy.

He graduated with honors from law school in 1961 and married his first wife, Carla Elvira Dall’Oglio, in 1965. Though they would divorce, she is perhaps the only woman who never told the tabloids anything about their relationship. She was maintained financially throughout her life, given a monthly alimony payment that has never been made public but which was apparently enough to keep her from succumbing to the barrage of media requests asking her to talk about her ex. The children he had with her, Marina and Pier Silvio, played crucial roles in his extensive media and real estate investments.

In the 1980s, Berlusconi married his second wife, Veronica Lario, with whom he fell in love (by his own account, during his interview with me and Dickey) when she performed topless at a dance in Milan. He went on to have three children with her (Barbara in 1984, Eleonora in 1986, and Luigi in 1988). They divorced amid spectacular scandal in 2009, when she announced in an op-ed for a left-leaning newspaper that she was leaving him because he “consorts with minors.” He was ordered to pay her an annual alimony of $48 million to maintain the lifestyle he had created for her. By then, Berlusconi was a billionaire many times over.

Berlusconi started his real estate business with a housing development for young professionals in Milan’s smartest suburb, aiming to create a posh enclave for a lifestyle-driven clientele. The money for his initial investment remained of questionable origin until his death, with many prosecutors unsuccessfully trying to prove it was driven by the mafia.

He went on to build a media empire off his real estate profits and was the first to introduce American-style sitcoms to Italian audiences through his first television networks, including Telemilano, which he launched in 1974, and Canale 5, which he started in 1980. He created what is now Italy’s largest commercial broadcaster, Mediaset, importing American programs including “General Hospital” and “Dallas,” with which he was obsessed. But he also introduced rampant sexism with programs featuring scantily-clad women pandering to older men—the women rarely spoke beyond introducing commercial breaks or replying that they didn’t know the answer to a question to open up a segment—a style of TV that persists today and which is blamed in part for the country’s strong patriarchal grip on society.

He continued to invest substantial profits in real estate, publishing, commercial stores, and the AC Milan soccer club, which he runs under the umbrella group Fininvest. That group includes more than 150 businesses and has been the target of perhaps as many investigations, trials, and fines for creative bookkeeping.

Seizing on Italy’s obsession with sports, Berlusconi launched his own political party in 1994 called “Forza Italia” (Forward Italy), the cry Italian fans yell at the World Cup and national competitions. He went on to serve three times as prime minister: from May 1994 to January 1995, from June 2001 to May 2006, and from May 2008 to November 2011.

His tenure was peppered by tax fraud accusations, sex scandals, whispers of mafia involvement, and gaffes. He was convicted of bribery, tax evasion, and having sex with an underage call girl—convictions that mostly were overturned during Italy’s generous appellate process. At least twice, his eventual acquittals were the result of his own government changing the laws. In 2014, he served community service for a tax fraud conviction the previous year.

Berlusconi frequently said he had done more for women than anyone else in Italy, including appointing a former topless Perilli calendar model as his minister of equal opportunity. But as much of the rest of the world moved to equalize salaries and combat blatant sexism, Italy remains demonstrably far behind most developed countries. Italy consistently scores low in the World Economic Forum’s annual gender report, with fewer women managers and decision makers than other European countries and extremely low paternity leave benefits, suggesting women are the main caretakers for children.

Berlusconi suffered several health issues, including heart problems that kept him in and out of the hospital—this often happened when he had a trial date for one of his many cases on appeal—and he suffered serious COVID-19 symptoms early in the pandemic. He also suffered multiple lacerations and a fractured nose when someone threw a souvenir statue of the Milan Duomo at him in 2009 as he signed autographs at a campaign rally. In April 2023, he was diagnosed with leukemia.

Yet he remained a powerful figure until the end, even winning a seat in the Italian Senate in 2022. But he will likely be remembered most for his gaffes and scandals, including when he famously called German Chancellor Angela Merkel “unfuckable” on a hot mic and publicly called Obama’s Black skin a “tan.”

Some of his adoring followers called for a state funeral long before he died. His foes blamed him for Italy’s ruinous economic state and hard-to-deny struggle with following rules. For many, it might be tempting to think of him as a pathetic joke, but he was far too wealthy and powerful for that.

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