#ed recocery

[autophobiaq]

Having an eating disorder is buying a bag of chips and looking at the serving size only to count out the exact number of chips for the serving size but then deciding that the company probably underestimates the calories because all the chips are different sizes and thERE IS NO WAY they could all be a universal serving size IF NONE OF THE CHIPS ARE EXACTLY THE SAME!!!!!!

so you tag on an extra 400 cals to balance it out.

just in case.

#andrea rants beware #personal #mine #anamia #prorecovery #pro recovery #ed recocery #ed warrior #tw ed #eating disorder recovery #eating disorder #skinny #thin #not pro just ranting.

[imsohappyyourealive]

TW: TALK ABOUT LOSING FAVORITE PERSON

I know how hard it can be when you loose your favorite person. I can’t feel like the world is ending, and you really don’t know what to do with yourself when the person you based your worth on is no longer in your life. But it’s important to ask yourself these questions.

do they love me or love what I do for them?

are we healthy for each other?

did they actually treat me well or did they fill a void in my life?

who else in my life is important to me?

what are some of the things I love most and how can I incorporate them in my life?

how long has it been since I really focused on myself?

I know these are hard questions to ask but in the long run the have really helped me cope with loosing a favorite person. The pain is still there, but working toward reframing your mindset is so important to personal healing and even healing relationships with people around you. I’m so happy you’re alive 💖💖💖

#Ana #ana recovery #ed recovery #bpd #bpd stuff #living with bpd #bpd problems #favorite person #depression #anxiety #borderline personality problems #recocery #histrionic personality disorder #bipolar #mental health awareness

[stonerexic-chronicles]

29•8•20

once again i’ve found myself back on medical, back to square one 😓 all started with my gp appointment on thursday morning; problems with my ecg, blood levels were out, blood pressure dropping 40 points on standing accompanied by postural tachycardia. before i could begin to plead my case that constant medical admissions are doing me far more psychological damage than any perceived benefits, my dr was already on the phone to my dad. i’m sick of not having autonomy over my own god damn body

the only reason i agreed to this admission was to avoid the threat of being put back under the mental health act and treated involuntarily in the public hospital. i don’t want to accept this treatment, i have no faith in recovery, i want to discharge myself but if i do my dad will turn me right back around and bring me back here, i hate admitting that the thoughts of self discharging or just doing a runner and upping and leaving everyone and everything. i don’t deserve them and they most certainly don’t deserve the pain i bring them.

i completely broke down last night after seeing my inpatient psychiatrist, i was already distressed before he came in and hearing him say that i’m not of sound enough mind to determine my own treatment didn’t help. if my suicidality increases or i can’t keep myself safe he said it’s a direct transfer to public psych under the mha. as soon as he left it all just became too much. i ended up locking myself in the bathroom, ripping my tube out and ending up in a heaving, sobbing ball on the floor, fighting the urges to just repeatedly throw my head against the tiles till it all stopped.

i sound so selfish saying this but if the family dog was going through this, and had been for the last 10 years, you would get them put down, it’s no quality of life. yet i’m expected to keep going, solely for the peace of mind of others, it isn’t fair. i’m so truly hopeless, i hate this existence someone please make it stop

#ed recovery #personal #recovery #ana recovery #inpatient #pro recovery #psych ward #recovery warrior #edulting #eating disoder recovery #anorexia recocery #anorexia recovery #ana #anorexia #actuallymentallyill #actuallyadhd #actually aspie #actuallyautistic

[itsthebipolardepression-blog]

Recovery.

I’ve been in and out of recovery for about 1 1/2 years. With two inpatient stays and one trip to the ICU. When I’m actively in my recovery mind it’s so beautiful, so honest. I love that i get to enjoy social events and eating with friends and family as much as my heart desires and till I’m full. I love being able to feel ok in my skin. I don’t feel particularly confident or beautiful but i fake it till i make it and everyday i was one step closer to believing it.

Me in my eating disorder, I’ve lost two teeth bc of my purging. My hair was always falling out. My skin was ridiculously pale and my eye bags were black and swollen. I was shakey and anxious. I was in a constant fog. I stayed alone. I never ate in front of people. I purged in bags, boxes, waterbottles, mason jars, in my car, in my room, in my dorm, outside, anywhere. Every where. I never took selfies, only body checks. I pinched pulled and punched myself constantly. Even at my lowest...i never saw what i wanted to see. Pills on top of pills on top of fad diets and exercise and purging and starving and binging it was never ending and exhausting.

I told myself...i tell myself all the time that i never want to be back at that place yet i do. I miss it, it feels in some way like home. To be ill is a comfort I’ve never been able to shake. I’ve never been able to break free of this feeling of wanting to be the thinnest. To feel powerful. To see unique. And noticed. But from men to be disgusted. That men would see me to boy like and unattractive.

I never wanted to have a woman’s body. It’s scary to be seen. It’s scary to be noticed for my enhanced features. The exact features i was trying to get to fade away.

Idk what this post is about but i feel like i just want it all out of my head playing tug of war.

Welcome to my ted talk.

#eating disorders #eating disorder #bulimia #bulimic #anorexic #anorexia #ednos #recocery #icu #eating disorder probs #pro ana #pro mia #not pro only using tags #pro ed #ed

[not-yet-gold-blog]

I’m literally at a point where I can’t take the chance to not weblog every good luck weight loss post I see.

#anorexia #dont mind me #not pro just using tags #pro recocery #bullimia #purging #ana #pro ana #calorie counting #ed #eating disorder #eating disorders #binge

[goatstimming]

do you have a dni at all? i couldn't quite tell

Proshippers, MAPs/pedos, racists, transphobes, truscum, pro-ED/anti-recocery, and all of the usual suspects of a general, run of the mill dni, should not interact. Majority of the things in this list aren't allowed onsite anyway, and like. This is a goatlings blog so..... Not welcomed here

[whsprings]

thinkin abt recovery and how hard it is and how easy it would be to just give up. you'd think after being in treatment for almost exactly a year it would have gotten a bit easier, and it has! but in many ways it is also harder. now I have something to lose. now recovery doesn't mean giving myself a life, it means keeping it. that is a beautiful thing, but it is also terrifying. eating disorders are deadly. very deadly. i do not want to be dead. but part of me will still want my ed, and that part of me may still be yelling years from now. its not that recocery gets easier, i think. what gets easier is making that choice, choosing recovery every damn day, choosing life over a lie, choosing to give myself a fighting chance.

#ed recovery #edxorcism

[anaobsessedsblog-blog]

Day 4/30: your greatest fears about weightloss?

My biggest and only fear is ever being found out, none of my friends or family have any idea, and I'm afraid if I ever said anything they'd send me to live in some kind of ed recocery center and I just couldn't handle people telling me what to eat, plus I'm way to far away from my ugw to even consider recovering yet

#pro ana #ana #anarexyz #pro ed #thinspo #thinpiration

[chaotic-necessities]

It's 12:20 in the morning and I am starving. Coming off of my ADD medicine while I'm having my insomniac episodes is really hard with my ED. I become anxious which causes me to continue to not sleep which deepens my exhaustion which deepens my hunger and moodiness. It's becoming an overwhelming issue that I'm not sure how to handle.

#advice is welcome #ed recovery #tw ? #eating disorder #ed #eating disorder recovery #recocery #personal

[autophobiaq]

“exercise!!! it’s good for you and your mental health!!”

my ed:

#andrea rants beware #personal #mine #pro recovery #anamia #prorecovery #skinny #ed recocery #ed recovery #recovery #eating disorder #eating disorder recovery #eating disoder things #thin

[stonerexic-chronicles]

14•10•20

so this monday was my first day at iop and i survived two emotionally exhausting and utterly challenging days and now am trying to enjoy my day off. the huge increase in meal plan is really, really testing me, i had to have step 2 at lunch yesterday (a revolting resource 2.0 🤮). but the other girls in the group are absolutely lovely and so supportive, accepting, and ready to be vulnerable around each other in groups which i literally couldn’t be happier about because i was SO fucking anxious about it leading up. we have our first meal challenge tomorrow; lunch at an unknown cafe 😅 and then i have my 1-1 with the dietitian there and i know she probably won’t be too happy with my intake outside of program but i am trying, it’s just so fucking hard especially after seeing my weight at weigh-in yesterday 😓 off to the gp this arvo which honestly cbf but i have to get medically cleared each week for iop. cptsd is kicking my ass atm and i’m just so exhausted from being in the constant fight or flight hypervigilant starve urge

#personal #ed recovery #recovery #pro recovery #ana recovery #recovery warrior #edulting #eating disoder recovery #eatingdisorder #eating disorder #edrecovery #anorexia recocery #anorexia recovery #anorexia nervosa #ana #asd #actuallymentallyill #actuallyadhd #actually aspie #actuallyautistic #adhd #aspie #eat it to beat it #iop

[healthyallison]

I went in for a follow up from my surgery today. We looked at my healing wound and talked about my blood pressure. My physician showed me a graph of my blood pressure over time and said its nothing to worry about. Then, as another example of a chart, she showed me a chart of how my weight has increased over the last 5 years and told me I'm obese. I told her I can't really bear to hear things like that or know my current weight because I'm a recovering anorexic, and she asked why I never told her. I told her 5 years ago, she brushed it off. And I never brought it up again. I want to fucking die. I was doing so well and now i just want to disappear. I haven't been this upset in months and I don't ever want to leave my house again

#Ed recocery #I want to die

[patience-in-recovery88]

Tomorrow is a big day! I'm not ready for these changes that are about to happen. And on top of that my nutrition goals I got today are super tough and I have to try to meet an even bigger meal plan. Going to try to stay mindful tomorrow and use the skills I have to get through the challenges of tomorrow!

#eating disorder #Ed recocery #eating disorder recovery #recovery #big day #changes #I hate change #mindfulness