I literally NEVER see posts about mental illnesses outside of like, anxiety and depression and eating disorders, let alone personality disorders which are still highly stigmatized. I had literally never heard of AVPD up until being diagnosed, which is wild considering it affects around 2.4% of the US population.
AVPD is a Cluster C personality disorder characterized by anxiety and fear. People with AVPD have chronic feelings of inadequacy and are highly sensitive to judgment from others. People with AVPD often consider themselves to be socially inept or personally unappealing. They avoid social interaction for fear of being ridiculed, humiliated, rejected, or disliked, and avoid becoming involved with others unless they are certain they will be liked.
According to the DSM, to have a diagnosis of avoidant personality disorder patients must have:
A persistent pattern of avoiding social contact, feeling inadequate, and being hypersensitive to criticism and rejection
Along with ≥ 4 of the following:
Avoidance of job-related activities that involve interpersonal contact because they fear that they will be criticized or rejected or that people will disapprove of them
Unwillingness to get involved with people unless they are sure of being liked
Reserve in close relationships because they fear ridicule or humiliation
Preoccupation with being criticized or rejected in social situations
Inhibition in new social situations because they feel inadequate
Self-assessment as socially incompetent, unappealing, or inferior to others
Reluctance to take personal risks or participate in any new activity because they may be embarrassed
AVPD is easily confused with social anxiety. However, social anxiety tends to dissipate the longer you spend time with specific people, while AVPD does not. This means that with SA you may eventually feel comfortable with a close group of friends, with AVPD you will still fear rejection an judgment, etc.
Eat. Food was not made for you to turn it down. The human race didn’t perfect the invention of milkshakes for them to go ignored due to diet culture. We didn’t make hundreds and thousands of combinations of bread, vegetables, spices, and meat for all of that hard work to go to waste.
We made spaghetti. We made ice cream and chocolate and coffee and rice and pickles. We saw chickens making eggs and we discovered how to make them scrambled. We saw wheat and turned it into cakes and pies. Food was not created as an accident, it wasn’t perfected just to hurt you. We are living in a time where you can drink a strawberry milkshake with a silly straw shaped like a cat. Embrace it.
The future is infinite and made up of infinite moments from “now”. You can’t be happy in the future if you won’t allow yourself to be happy now. You might regret it later, or you might not. You don’t know that. All you’ll know is you’ll regret it now. Stop that.
Eat the goddamn meal. You have permission, you’re not a bad person for it, eating won’t make you a bad person. Eat. Drink. Enjoy yourself. Treat yourself. You have one body, stop neglecting it to fit your ED’s ideal. It wants you dead. It wants you hurting. It wants you to isolate yourself.
You won’t be “skinny enough” until you’re dead. The “ultimate ideal” of eating disorders will always result in being a cadaver six feet under. Saying “I’ll only skip this one meal” will end up turning into two, then three, then fasting. Your eating disorder wants you dead. Don’t let it succeed.
[if you leave negative comments on this post I will fucking GUT YOU and will I report every single thinspo blog that touches this]
physical recover from any type of disordered eating looks different from person to person. when we start to live a healthier life being more active and eating better (for some it means eating more, for some it means eating less, for some it means eating differently) our bodies can show any of the change mentioned above. none of them are wrong, it all depends on your personal journey through recovery.
“But I’ll be having lunch soon-” have lunch earlier! Or have a light snack!
“But I don’t deserve to eat” I promise you do, you deserve to eat and feel full I promise you
Eat when you’re hungry! When you’re hungry, you’re sad. And that will just add to whatever else is upsetting you at the time. Even if it’s something like popcorn or a strawberry or toast or meat and crackers or a breakfast bar, eat when you’re hungry!